Today’s pick is a bit better than usual. Actually he’s perfect: Curt Hennig.

Curt started with a brief AWA run but really got his start in the WWF. Here’s a match against Eddie Gilbert from November 22, 1982 in MSG.

Curt Hennig vs. Eddie Gilbert

This is Gilbert’s MSG debut and Gorilla says this should be a crackerjack match. They fight over a lockup to start and Curt gets a quick hiptoss. Gorilla gets the guys confused, which isn’t that hard as they’re about the same size and have curly blonde hair and red trunks. Gilbert takes him down and puts on a leg lock before they do some amateur stuff on the mat. The fans are pretty silent so far and to be fair there isn’t much to be interested in yet.

Gilbert hooks an armbar as the announcers talk about a Lou Albano vs. Jimmy Snuka match. Back up and Curt puts on an armbar as the fans are just gone. They finally get out of the hammerlock and have Curt do three straight headlock takeovers which are countered by a headscissors and quickly broken. A right hand staggers Curt and gets the only reaction of the match but Hennig shoulder blocks him to the apron to stop any crowd interest at all.

They run the ropes a bit and both guys try leapfrogs and collide in the air. Curt grabs a long headlock but Gilbert finally sends him into the buckle to break it up. Eddie misses a charge into the corner and gets suplexed back in for two. A sunset flip gets two on Curt and the twenty minute time limit runs out at about 15 minutes.

Rating: D. This was a very dull match which was clearly there for the time limit and nothing more. That being said, it was WAY too long with most of the match being spent on an armbar. There’s just nothing interesting about watching armbars and headlocks. I’ve seen a lot of thrilling technical matches and they can work very well, but this just wasn’t one of them.

After the WWF there was a stopover in Portland, including this match from September 3, 1983.

Assassin/Dynamite Kid vs. Buddy Rose/Curt Hennig

This is 2/3 falls. Before the match we’re told that Oliver and Assassin won the tag titles back a few days earlier. Also Owen picks now to announce Andre and Harley Race are coming soon. After about four minutes of disrobing, Hennig, who looks about 15 years old here, starts with Dynamite in what would be an awesome match four years from now. Dynamite flattens Hennig with a shoulder but Curt snaps up to a standoff. Off to a headlock by Kid before Assassin comes in. The announcers are talking about alcoholism for some reason.

The fans keep cheering for Curt but he gets dropped by a double headbutt. Hennig comes back with a big sunset flip for two on Dynamite but it’s back to Assassin. Apparently Hennig is Pacific Northwest Champion. Hennig fires off a right hand and a fireman’s carry but Dynamite breaks up the hot tag attempt. We hit the chinlock from Assassin but Curt finally fights up. Dynamite saves another hot tag and hits a top rope fist to give Assassin two. Kid comes in legally for another long chinlock but Hennig fights up and avoids a knee, allowing for the tag off to Rose.

Buddy cleans part of the house but gets caught in a few armdrags, only to come back with some dropkicks. Assassin tries a sunset flip but Rose rolls forward into a cradle for the first fall. Hot finish there. During the break between falls, Hennig, Rose and Hayes accept the challenge for the six man tag.

Back to the match with Rose hitting a quick dropkick on Assassin to send him to the floor. Assassin gets back in and takes over thanks to a cheap shot from Dynamite. Kid comes in legally and sends Rose into the buckle before dropping a knee for two. Back to Assassin for a knee drop of his own, followed by a standing knee to send Rose to the floor. Curt helps his partner back in but Rose is caught in a quick chinlock as the match keeps going.

Rose fights up as Dynamite tries to come in to break up the tag, only to have Curt make the save. Rose, known as a big guy, nips up but walks into a loaded headbutt from Assassin for the second fall. After a break we come back for another promo from the face guys. Curt talks about the people giving his team an edge over the Clan to be a good suck up. Rose says all three guys want a shot at NWA World Champion Harley Race.

We’re running out of TV time here and the third fall begins with Assassin pounding on Rose in the corner. Dynamite comes back in to crank on the arm and stomp on it on the mat. Not that it matters as Buddy gets over to the corner for the hot tag to Hennig. House is cleaned and the heels get caught in stereo abdominal stretches (big move back then), only to draw Oliver in for the DQ.

Rating: B. If you drop the promos in between the falls and have a better finish, this would have been a great match. The crowd was WAY into this and it’s easy to see why these guys would become big stars in the near future. The ending sets up the big six man in the near future and we got a good match out of it as well. Nice stuff here.

Next up was the AWA where Curt would get his start in a big tag team with Scott Hall before setting his sights on Nick Bockwinkel’s AWA World Title. The two would square off several times, including on December 26, 1986.

AWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Feeling out process to start with Nick working on the arm but getting nowhere. They trade shoulder blocks until Curt gets two off a powerslam, sending the champion to the floor. Back in and Nick grabs a top wristlock but Curt looks more annoyed that hurt. Curt counters into one of his own before taking Nick to the mat and dropping knees on the champion’s arm. They hit the mat with Hennig working on a hammerlock and Nick having to fight his way over to the ropes in a nice sequence.

Some forearms put Curt on the floor but he slides right back in and rams Bockwinkel’s head into the buckle to take over. Nick comes right back by tripping Hennig and wrapping the knee around the post over and over. Back in and we hit a modified Indian deathlock from the champ. Nick adds some ax handles to the back of Hennig’s head and Curt screams about his leg. Curt headbutts his way to freedom but Bockwinkel goes right back to the leg to regain control.

Curt suddenly gets in a shot to the ribs and wraps Nick’s arm around the post. Oddly enough that goes nowhere at all as Bockwinkel shrugs it off and takes over again by taking Curt to the mat and dropping knees for two. Curt goes back to the arm but injures his own knee in the process to slow him right back down. Hennig drops some elbows for two but Nick grabs his sleeper to stop Curt in his tracks.

Hennig almost falls into the ropes for the break and puts on a sleeper of his own. Bockwinkel breaks it pretty easily but Hennig sends him into the buckle and drops a leg between Nick’s legs to keep control. Back up and both guys try right hands and they both go down. Nick is up first and throws Curt through the ropes, taking out a cameraman in the process.

Back in and another right hand gets two for the champion but Curt comes back with a quick dropkick for two. A small package gets the same and a second dropkick gets a VERY slow two count. Bockwinkel is sent into the referee and Hennig is able to counter the piledriver with a backdrop over the top rope. Back in and Curt’s missile dropkick connects but it’s a DQ because of sending Nick over the top.

Rating: C-. Long match here and entertaining but that’s the AWA in a nutshell for you: tease the title change as long as humanly possible, wait another two months and THEN change the title. Hennig was clearly the future as Bockwinkel was 52 years old at this point and still world champion. Nice match but the ending was obvious from a mile away.

Hennig would win the title about three months later and hold it for just over a year before jumping to the WWF like almost every other big star in the AWA. He would debut in July as Mr. Perfect and go undefeated for months, eventually facing the Blue Blazer at Wrestlemania V.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

That would be Owen Hart in a kind of superhero gimmick that eventually led to his death. Perfect is pretty new here too and I believe is debuting his singlet look. Hennig hits a quick hiptoss that doesn’t do much at all. Blazer blocks a slap and takes Perfect down to stagger Hennig a bit.

They slightly botch a flip out of a hiptoss and Blazer dropkicks Perfect to the floor. Blazer hits a quick hiptoss (why is that so popular here?) of his own and a dropkick for no cover. A modified northern lights suplex gets two for Blue but a top rope splash hits knees. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments by Perfect but Blazer fights up and hits a standing powerslam and a belly to belly for two each. A crucifix gets two more but Blazer spends too long arguing with the referee and the PerfectPlex ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This match is popular for some reason but it’s only pretty good. Owen would get to show off a lot better later on and the Blazer gimmick didn’t stick around that long. The ending here was clean too which is what Perfect would get quite often around this time. He wouldn’t really do anything of note for about a year though until having a house show feud with Hogan.

Perfect would finally lose a televised match at Wrestlemania VI against Brutus Beefcake. His record was good enough to get a match with Hulk Hogan at Saturday Night’s Main Event #26 though.

Mr. Perfect vs. Hulk Hogan

Dang, he main events Wrestlemania and less than four weeks later he’s opening a TV taping. I miss the awesome logos everyone used to have. They were so simple yet so cool at the same time. That gum slap never gets old. Hogan says that they’re perfect fools and that Hulkamania will never die. It’ll never retire either. Gene is wearing one of those southern ties where it goes into two parts if that makes sense. I hate those things.

Jesse points out something very funny by saying Hogan must be hard of hearing since it takes him four tries to hear the roar of the crowd. That’s very true. This was allegedly supposed to be the main event of Mania 6 after Perfect won the 1990 Rumble, but that show’s main event was changed so many times I’ve heard of at least 4 different possible main events that Vince was contemplating even up to the new year.

Compared to the previous year and Mania 5 where the main event was set in stone about 18 months in advance, that’s saying a lot. In a stunning turn of events, Perfect is in trouble at first but then takes over and the fans are SCARED! It’s weird hearing Vince and Jesse like this after hearing them on Raw three days ago. They’re almost perfect here and it’s sad that they didn’t use this formula on Monday night.

I love how Vince defended Hogan forever back then but today more or less hates his guts. We’re on the floor at this point with Hogan beating up Genius. This allows Perfect to get the scroll and blast him in the head with it. We take a break with Hogan in trouble and apparently this show is called the Tussle in Texas. I can’t stand gimmick names like that. They just sound stupid. Perfect is on control and you can hear the hearts of fans breaking everywhere.

This match feels really accelerated as Perfect controls for about two minutes before he Hulks Up and everything you expect to happen ends it. He beats up Genius afterwards to restore the glory of Hulkamania despite it never being gone in the first place. In a very interesting line, Vince calls Hogan the Brahma Bull. Holy goodness. Vince mentions to Jesse we have a Barbecue, and Jesse is none too pleased.

Rating: B-. This was Hogan 101 and it worked fine. It’s just weird seeing Hogan opening a show. This was fine as it was just a little TV match, but it was a perfect example of how to make Hogan look great and get a solid pop from the crowd. He was in trouble but he came back and defeated Perfect with relative ease. However, that’s the problem: he defeated Perfect with relative ease. Perfect was supposed to be a big deal but he looked like a jobber here. He would win the IC Title in a mostly fake tournament soon enough though, so that means enough I guess.

Due to Ultimate Warrior winning the WWF Title at Wrestlemania, a tournament was held for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Mr. Perfect made it to the finals against Tito Santana.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

Extended feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to take over. Perfect slaps him in the face and gets dropkicked out to the floor for his efforts. Back in and something resembling a slingshot shoulder gets two for Santana and we hit the arm wringer. Santana scores with some shoulder blocks but tries one too many and falls to the floor.

Tito starts a comeback but gets forearmed out to the floor just as quickly. Santana wraps the leg around the post and goes to work on it but here’s Bobby Heenan to debut as Perfect’s manager. Tito loads up the forearm but Heenan’s distraction lets Perfect get a quick small package for the title.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the match was just there to set up Heenan as the new manager. Perfect was a pretty obvious winner from the day the tournament began and there’s nothing wrong with that. He was overdue for a title reign at this point and the Intercontinental Title actually meant something at this point.

Perfect would hold the title for a year and a half other than a two and a half month reign by Texas Tornado. He would roll into Summerslam 1991 for a showdown with Bret Hart.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Perfect would take a year off from the ring due to injuries before coming back in late 1992 as a face. He would wrestle regularly for about a year before facing off with Shawn Michaels at Summerslam 1993 in a match about six months in the making.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.

Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.

Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.

Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

That would be Curt’s last major match in the company as his back would flare up again a few months later, putting him back on the shelf for a few years. He would debut in WCW in 1997 and join the Four Horsemen, leading to WarGames at Fall Brawl 1997 against the NWO.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO

WCW: Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Steve McMichael, Curt Hennig
NWO: Kevin Nash, Konnan, Syxx, Buff Bagwell

WarGames here and here are the rules for the two of you that have somehow never seen this match. You start off with a guy from each team for five minutes. After that a coin toss will be won by the heels and they get an advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up another person comes in from the team that loss the coin toss. You alternate like that every two minutes until all eight are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins it. Also in a double cage of course.

This is more or less a revenge feud for the Horsemen after the parody that the NWO did on Nitro which was so dead on that it was hilarious while being totally disrespectful. The teams are at ringside here which would go back and forth. Not that it means anything but these entrances are long so I need to fill in space. Also this is the final traditional WarGames match, meaning it’s more or less destined to suck.

No Hennig here due to the beatdown earlier. Bagwell vs. Benoit to start. This should be a massacre and very fun. This is for five minutes remember. Tony brings up a great point: is there NO ONE else in WCW that could be out there? They waste like thirty seconds before Bagwell slaps Benoit. This is young and violent Benoit so how do you think this is going to go for Bagwell?

All Benoit here since Bagwell kind of, uh, sucks. Swan Dive misses so Bagwell unleashes his variety of stomps and sends Benoit into the cage. Bagwell is really weak on offense here. Surprisingly enough they haven’t messed with the clock yet. They’ve stayed in the same ring here for the most part. Bagwell backdrops him into the cage and yells at Flair a bit. Shockingly enough: the NWO wins the toss. Literally, no face team EVER won a coin toss in WCW. Ever. Not even once.

Benoit takes over with about 20 seconds to go and it’s Konnan to give them the 2-1 advantage. Benoit seems to like the idea of being in trouble and beats them both up. This lasts two minutes remember. Somehow being down 2-1 makes Benoit do better for a minute or so until the numbers finally catch up to him. Mongo, US Champion at the time, comes in and beats up everyone.

Benoit is perfectly fine. I mean they’ve only beaten on him for seven minutes so far so do you really expect him to be beaten already? The Horsemen dominate for most of the 2-2 period and it’s Syxx in next. And that results badly for him as he gets destroyed by Benoit. Total star making performance by him so far. Crossface to Syxx who taps but it doesn’t matter yet.

The NWO finally fights back about halfway through this period. With 40 seconds left here’s Hennig with his arm in a sling. Oh just have him wearing the NWO shirt already. Flair comes in and cleans house. Nash comes in after the Horsemen dominate for a good while. He dominates the entire team and Bagwell couldn’t be happier. HUGE We Want Sting chant goes up but you all know the ending already don’t you? If not, GO READ A FREAKING BOOK PEOPLE.

The Horsemen take over again before the period ends and here’s Hennig. Flair has Syxx in the Figure Four and there goes the sling on Hennig. He pulls out handcuffs and yep there it is. Seriously, did ANYONE buy that he wasn’t turning here? Tony of course calls it this huge charade and no one but him agrees.

Benoit is cuffed to the cage as is Mongo. Again, IS THERE NO ONE ELSE IN ALL OF WCW??? Flair is destroyed and a referee brings a microphone into the ring. Nash offers the Horsemen the chance to surrender and they all say no. After a long beatdown they give Mongo the chance to surrender to save Flair from having the door slammed on his head. Mongo gives in and they slam the door anyway. This would results in a huge blood feud between Hennig and Flair and Tony walking off the show the next night. The sight of Flair writhing in pain and holding his head ends the show.

Rating: C. Not the strongest WarGames to say the least, namely due to the Horsemen never being in trouble at all for the most part and the really stupid ending. That being said, WarGames is in itself inherently cool and this is no exception. Benoit looked AWESOME in there but of course he would never go anywhere in WCW until he was about to leave. Definitely not the best WarGames, but the Benoit dominance was a cool visual.

Hennig would win the US Title a few weeks later and hold it until Starrcade 1997 where he dropped it to Diamond Dallas Page. He wouldn’t do much of note for several months due to injuries and personal issues until getting a world title match against new champion Goldberg at Bash at the Beach 1998.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

No Rude for the challenger tonight. Goldberg runs him over to start and hits a kind of release belly to belly, sending Curt into the corner. Goldberg uses his legs to take Hennig down and Curt bails to the floor. Back in and Goldberg charges into a boot in the corner but Hennig gets caught in a gorilla press powerslam. Curt goes after the knee with a chop block and some cannonballs. The HennigPlex gets two and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to retain the title.

Rating: D. You know all those other Goldberg matches? Read whatever I said about any of those and swap out whatever that opponent’s name for Curt Hennig.

Hennig would drop way down the card soon after this and enter into the tag division, hooking up with Barry Windham for a team that would have been awesome ten years earlier. They would enter a double elimination tournament for the vacant Tag Titles, culminating at SuperBrawl IX.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Since WCW is stupid, in this case if the cowboys get the first win, they win the titles (they’re vacant coming in). If the Horsemen (Malenko/Benoit as it occurs to me that all four have been Horsemen at one point) win the first fall, they have a second match. The cowboys have beaten the Horsemen once already in this tournament. Tony goes into a long explanation of how the teams have motivation to win the match, because WINNING THE TITLES isn’t a good enough reason.

 

Dean and Barry start things off with Barry running away a lot. They go to the mat and Dean rolls Windham around a bit so it’s a double tag. Tony explains how three of the four guys in here are second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is (referee) Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who is his father?” Heenan: “Well he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois.” Heenan’s on tonight with the comedy.

 

Hennig gets chopped to the floor and runs from Malenko. Off to Barry vs. Benoit Windham gets thrown around and it’s off to Malenko who hits a dropkick but I think Windham was supposed to hold the rope to avoid the contact. There might have been a tag in there somewhere but it’s Barry vs. Dean still anyway. Even Tony says that was kind of odd. Hennig comes in for a double clothesline which missed but Dean sells it for two anyway.

 

Dean manages a bridging pin of some sort as the crowd is quiet again. That’s a shame as they were white hot for the opener. Dean rolls through and tags Benoit in after not having much damage done to him. Chris cleans house and backdrops a cheating Windham. Backbreaker gets two on Curt. Back to Dean who gets two off a belly to back suplex. Benoit comes in again and the referee literally has his back to the action for about 20 seconds. Swan Dive hits Hennig but Windham makes the save again.

 

Now Dean covers him but the referee STILL isn’t paying attention. It’s not even a heel thing. He’s just not doing that well in this match. The fans are booing him now. Curt gets crotched on the top so Dean dropkicks him down to the apron. Everything breaks down and throwing someone over the top isn’t a DQ this time for whatever reason. The referee is with Barry again but turns around to see Hennig hit Dean low. Think that’s a DQ? Nope, as Barry comes back in to suplex Malenko for two.

 

Now the referee doesn’t pay attention as the Cowboys beat up Malenko on the floor. Barry covers him with one hand for two and it’s back to Hennig. The fans aren’t thrilled with this match. Benoit comes in before he’s tagged but the referee is cool with that. The crowd is dying quickly. Back to Barry who hits the superplex but Dean saves. By “saves”, I mean doesn’t touch him but Barry jumps off Benoit anyway. This is like a comedy of errors.

 

The Cowboys hit a double suplex (after messing up a bit first of course) for two. Hennig hits his necksnap for two. Heenan wants a flamethrower brought in here. Tony: “You are an idiot.” Dean makes a save off a Windham something that we don’t see. This match is going on WAY too long. Benoit finally breaks through and gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and on the second attempt, the Cloverleaf makes Windham tap.

 

We get a thirty second rest period between falls here. The Horsemen hammer on Hennig during the break and Dean goes for the Cloverleaf again. Windham chokes him out with a belt and pins him to win the titles in 20 seconds.

 

Rating: D. I love the Horsemen but the refereeing was HORRIBLE here. Actually most of the match was horrible here. Aside from that, Benoit still hasn’t won a title at this point. Instead we get a title on BARRY FREAKING WINDHAM??? In 1989 sure but in 1999? Seriously? A boring match and stupid stipulations so that Benoit and Malenko can win and then not get the titles anyway. Stupid all around, but such is WCW. Malenko and Benoit would get the titles in three weeks and lose them in another two weeks.

Hennig wouldn’t do much over the rest of the year, though he would lose a retirement match to Buff Bagwell at Mayhem, putting him out of action for a grand total of eight days. That would pretty much be it for Hennig in WCW as he would have a lame feud with Shawn Stasiak before leaving in June. After a year or so on the indies, he would head back to the WWF for a few months and look good, only to get fired after getting drunk on an infamous flight. He made another indy run and jumped to the newly formed TNA for a quick feud with Jeff Jarrett, including this match from December 11, 2002.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Curt Hennig

Curt is challenging of course. He’s also a heel here which might clear up a few things later. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get anywhere. We get a standing switch and the fans think it was gay. Ok then. Hennig takes him to the mat with a headlock and lets go for no apparent reason before doing it again and getting another standoff. Jeff gets in the first good offense with a dropkick before taking Hennig to the floor and getting very aggressive with right hands.

A chair shot has Hennig in even more trouble, but remember that a DQ can change a title in TNA. Jarrett rams him into the chair before putting his hand on the guitar but changing his mind. Back in and Curt takes him down for a quick Robinsdale Crunch. The fans are behind Jarrett as Hennig works over the knee by wrapping it around the post. Back in and Hennig puts on a leglock for a good while as the crowd stays behind Jeff.

The champ gets out and hits a quick enziguri to set up a catapult into the buckle. Jarrett’s knee is perfectly fine in a hurry. The buckle pad is pulled off and Curt goes face first into the steel, setting up the worst ref bump I can remember in years. Jarret grabs the guitar but puts it down, only to have Hennig hit him low. Vince Russo runs in and hits Hennig with the guitar (doesn’t even break) and Jarrett retains.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but it was clear that Hennig was there to collect a paycheck and little more. Jarrett was doing what he could in TNA at this point but there wasn’t much interest. Russo helping Jarrett against his will was the start of the first big storyline TNA had which helped them out a good bit.

Curt Hennig would be dead less than two months later due to a cocaine overdose.

Hennig was a guy who could have been a huge star and got pretty close when you think about it. That being said, his personal issues held him back so much that he hit his peak in the early 90s and pretty much coasted for the rest of his career. Hennig’s stuff as Mr. Perfect was some excellent work but he was stuff in the Hogan/Warrior years, meaning there was no way Curt was getting a title run. He’s an excellent talent, but I wouldn’t look at his work past 1993 as it really drops fast.

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Another day, another rocking old school tag team. Today: the Steiner Brothers, due to them being on a show that happened on this day back in the 80s. It was this or Madusa so I think I made the right pick.

Rick had been feuding with the Varsity Club in late 1988 but realized he couldn’t fight them alone. Early in 1989 he brought in his younger brother Scott and formed the team. One of their first big matches was at Clash of the Champions 7 against the Varsity Club, comprised of Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is more or less the major debut for the Steiners as a team. Sullivan and Rotunda as their opponents here in a VERY long running feud. This is under Australian rules, whatever that means. The Steiners have Missy with them. Scott is in regular tights so you know this is an early appearance for him. Big brawl to start as Rick is way over.

Hey there’s another Coors Light reference and let’s thank some army dudes. Rick vs. Mike now which is the real meat of the feud. Ross says hi to all of the fans in Connecticut where they’re headed soon which might be a slight jab at WWF but nothing big. The commentary is more or less just a commercial for the upcoming tour.

Kind of a slow start here but the fans are into it and it’s nothing bad at all. You can see the superstar in Scott just waiting to get out. The Club throws Scott to the table on the floor and then throws steps at his legs and connects. He’s limping badly now which very well could be legit. Ross and Caudle are FREAKING over this which isn’t exactly overkill here. Gorgeous dropkick by Rotunda puts Scott down.

Hot tag to Rick but Sullivan had the referee. I love that trick as it’s so simple yet it works every time. Mike misses a dropkick and there’s the real hot tag. Rick just massacres both guys until Scott can get back up. Sullivan steals Caudle’s chair and slides it into Mike who hits a suplex on Scott onto the chair on Scott’s already injured back (which was played up throughout the match after landing on the table in a nice mini-story) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good with a basic formula, a nice story and a hot crowd packed together into less than 9 minutes. The Steiners would of course go on to become the most successful tag team in company history but this was more or less their first match that meant anything. Fun stuff here and a fairly good match.

The Steiners were about to be unleashed on the world and they received their first World Tag Team Title shot at Clash of the Champions 8.

World Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

The Birds are champions and this is the Steiners’ first shot at the titles. Scott is a totally different guy here, to the point where he was a nod of the head away from being handed the world title and being made the focus of all of WCW in about 1991. Flair flat out said you say the time I’ll lay down for you. Think about that for a minute. Then he destroyed his arm and didn’t get the title for 9 years. That’s wrestling for you.

 

Missy and Robin are here with the brothers. Scott is in regular trunks here so you can tell he’s brand new. Scott vs. Hayes starts us off. Hayes stalls a lot and then stalls a lot more. Scott speeds things up but runs into the left hand which is one of Hayes’ big moves. A top rope cross body by Hayes is rolled through for two and Scott cleans house. Garvin comes in and Scott runs over him too. A SWEET reverse German hits and here’s a tag to Rick. Scott looked like Kurt Angle out there.

 

Rick knocks both of the Birds to the floor and gets on all fours. Hayes comes in next and dances a lot, just ticking Rick off even more. There’s a powerslam and one for Garvin as he tries a sneak attack. Hayes gets in a few punches so Rick just mauls him and hits a release belly to belly. Rick then misses one of the hardest charges ever into the corner. Garvin comes in with his DDT finisher but Scott makes the save.

 

Back to Hayes who sends him out to the floor for more of a beating. Rick gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting for Scott to come in and start breaking stuff. Garvin comes back in and hits a running knee to the head for two. Time for a chinlock but Rick snapmares out of it. Why don’t more people use that as a counter?

 

There’s the tag to Scott (thanks for telling me JR. No seriously, the camera cut to the crowd so we didn’t see if he made it or not) and it’s Frankensteiners (and I mean standing ones, not ones out of the corner) and a BIG powerslam for Hayes. Scott hits the ropes but someone (presumably one of the girls but we intentionally can’t see which) trips him and a quick DDT keeps the titles on the Birds.

 

Rating: B-. If you’ve EVER been unclear about why people rave and rave some more about Scott Steiner, go find this match right now, keeping in mind that he’s 24 here and had been on national TV as a wrestler for about 3 months. This was one of the most impressive performances I’ve seen in a LONG time. By the way, it was Robin that tripped Scott. She turned heel and debuted Doom soon thereafter, presumably because she wanted to get gangbanged by Ron Simmons and Butch Reed.

 

The Steiners would take the titles about two months later and hold them for several months. A major show during their reign was Starrcade 1989 which was comprised of two Iron Man tournaments. In the tag team version, the Steiners faced the most dominant tag team of all time: the Road Warriors. This is the only match (that mattered) between the two teams.

 

Steiner Brothers vs. Road Warriors

 

This is the ONLY meeting (that mattered) between two of the biggest tag teams of all time. Why it was wasted on a show like this in an inconsequential tag match is beyond me. These teams are friends at this point. Scott and Hawk get things going with Cornette considering this a battle of idiots. Ross says the fans are in awe as an excuse for them being bored so far. Both guys get big boots to the face in succession so it’s off to Rick for a chance at Hawk.

 

Hawk hits a BIG clothesline to take Rick down for two before Animal comes in for a double back elbow. Rick comes back with a Steiner Line to stagger Animal and we’re at a standoff. Animal tries a bearhug but gets caught in a belly to belly suplex for no cover. Back to Scott to meet Hawk with the bird enthusiast gorilla pressing him down to the mat with ease. Rick has to make the save this time and Hawk is annoyed at his actions. Animal comes back in and gets caught in a few belly to belly suplexes. This is pure power the entire way so far.

 

Animal comes out of the corner with a hard clothesline so Hawk comes in for an over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker. A release tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on Scott but he comes back with what was supposed to be a middle rope suplex. Instead it was more like Hawk fell flat on Scott’s chest and was driven face first into the mat. Back to Animal for a bearhug on Scott followed by a BIG powerslam from Hawk. Everything breaks down and Animal picks up Scott for a belly to back suplex with Hawk adding a top rope clothesline. Animal bridges Scott back but Scott raises his arm to get the pin as Animal’s shoulders were down.

 

Rating: D+. Most of that is for the star power alone. This was a lot of pounding on each other and a SCARY botch on that middle rope belly to belly superplex. The Steiners winning was probably the right move here as they shouldn’t have gotten pinned while still being the tag team champions. The Warriors should NOT be wrestling multiple matches in one night though as they already look spent.

 

After winning the US Tag Titles later in the year, the Steiners would also enter the Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament at Starrcade 1990 and advance to the finals. Here’s the championship match.

 

Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Finals: Great Muta/Mr. Saito vs. Steiner Brothers

 

There’s a special guest Japanese referee. Dangerously picks the Japanese guys because they make better cars. Scott and Muta get things going with Muta firing off the kicks to take Scotty down. Scott comes right back with a rolling leg lock into a half crab which I didn’t think he was capable of doing. Off to Rick and the fans bark (I believe I’ve neglected to mention that his nickname was the Dog Faced Gremlin) on cue. Rick Steiner Lines Muta down and it’s off to Saito for a brawl.

 

Rick gets pounded down so he busts out a dropkick of all things followed by a HARD Steiner Line. Muta goes up top and gets crotched as he tries to come in, keeping the advantage in America. Saito bows in respect to Rick so he kicks Saito in the face. A BIG USA chant breaks out as Scotty gets the tag to face Muta. The Great one knocks Scott back into the corner and hits the handspring elbow but an attempt at a second one results in Muta’s face hitting Scott’s boot.

 

A belly to belly suplex gets two on Muta so it’s back to Saito. Scott fires off some hard right hands and a back elbow to the face before it’s off to Rick, who walks into a suplex. Saito and Rick collide to put both guys down (Ross: “That was like a Ford hitting a Honda.”) but it’s Muta in off the tag. Rick is sent to the floor where Saito can ram him into the post before Muta blasts Rick in the head with a bell.

 

Saito whips Rick into a hard clothesline from Rick as the Japanese are playing full on heels in this match, despite being gentlemen all night. Back in and Saito comes in off the middle rope with a shot to the ribs before it’s off to a choke. Saito keeps choking long enough for Muta to come in off the top with an elbow to Rick’s back. It’s back to Muta who walks into a Steiner Line and there’s the hot tag to Scott.

 

A tiger driver gets two on Muta as everything breaks down. Saito hits the Saito Suplex (modified belly to back) on Scott for two and the Japanese guys hit a spike piledriver for good measure. Rick breaks up the count but Muta is already posing. A blind tag brings in Rick, who comes in off the top with a sunset flip on Saito for the pin and the tournament championship.

 

Rating: B-. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it didn’t work all that well. They were going with pure American patriotism to carry the match which worked well enough given the crowd reaction, but the wrestling was only decent. The Steiners winning was the right move, unless you wanted to have the Japanese guys cheat like nuts to win and set up a future title match between the teams. Still though, not bad.

 

With no one left to conquer in America, the Steiners (once again WCW World Tag Team Champions) went over to Japan for the first WCW/New Japan SuperShow for a shot at the IWGP World Tag Team Titles.

 

IWGP/WCW Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Hiroshi Hase

The Steiners are the WCW World and US Tag Champions. To say they were the most dominant team in the company is an understatement. This by the way is Meltzer’s match of the year. I saw their rematch and it was good but not great at all. Let’s see how this one is. This is when Scott was more or less totally awesome and could have been world champion if he wanted to but he stayed with Rick instead.

Hase vs. Scott start us off and the fans are LOUD. We hit the mat almost immediately and Scott goes for the knees. Hase stays in a crouch and makes Scott comes to him. Big old kick to the back of the head of Scott as this Hase isn’t bad. Sasaki comes in and gets a ROAR. He beats up Rick and takes his head OFF with a lariat.

Scott and Hase come in and Scott hits what we would call an Angle Slam off the top. Incredibly hart hitting match so far. There’s the Steiner Line to take Hase down. A minor edit there and Scott hits a great belly to belly for two. DDT hits but no cover which is kind of stupid. Belly to belly off the middle rope gets two again as Sasaki makes the save. Butterfly Powerbomb requires another save.

Sasaki gets a spinning Rock Bottom on Rick and a suplex on Scott as we jump ahead another little bit. Sasaki suplexes Hase onto Rick in a cool spot. Rick kicks out of Hase’s Northern Lights Suplex, his finisher. Tilt-a-whirl slam to Hase from Scott. This is nothing but high impact awesomeness. Both teams go for the top rope bulldog but only the Steiners get it. Frankensteiner to Sasaki (which is really not that impactful) gets three (even though the shoulder was up) to give the Steiners their third title.

Rating: A-. It’s definitely good, but if this is the best match of the year then 1991 was a lot leaner than I thought it was. I wouldn’t put it ahead of Warrior vs. Savage from Mania or anything like that, but hey it’s a match involving Japanese guys so of course it wins in the case of a tie with a WWF match right? This was very good though and I can see the praise it gets.

 

With no regular teams to beat, it was time for the Steiners to face a super team: Sting and Lex Luger. From the first SuperBrawl.

 

Tag Titles: Lex Luger/Sting vs. Steiner Brothers

It’s face vs. face here and Luger is US Champion. I freaking love the way Capetta (the ring announcer) says someone is a world champion. He pauses before saying world very loudly. Ross says we’re starting with power vs. power but all four of them can do power stuff with I guess Rick being the weakest one? Geez there are a lot of titles in this match. It amazes me to no end that Luger would be top heel in less than a year, defending the title against Sting in February at SuperBrawl II.

The crowd is actually reacting to this match unlike almost every other match on the card which is really not a good sign. They’re doing a lot of technical stuff here which is a nice change of pace. In a bad looking spot, Steiner throws a shoulder at Luger and hits him solidly but Lex just shrugs it off and Steiner stays down. Sting jumps over the rope which is a spot that was more or less unheard of at the time and he nails it.

He’s the only person in wrestling history that I would put against RVD as far as leaping ability goes. Also considering his size (6’3 so just under Orton’s height) it’s even more impressive. Magnum TA put Sting about as perfectly as anyone I’ve ever heard: he had so much charisma and talent when he first got going that he didn’t know what to do with it. That’s absolutely spot on too.

A year or so before this he would have been lost out there. Not due to a lack of ability, but simply because he didn’t know how to channel his energy. Imagine a guy like Shelton Benjamin but with Edge’s charisma and you have Sting. Now within a year or two, he had the ring sense of a guy like Eddie Guerrero, making him one of if not the absolute best wrestler in the world. He’s maybe my 2nd favorite wrestler of all time and was easily the top face in the company around this time.

About a year or so from now, he would be the undisputed king of WCW and was even bigger than Flair when he returned from that other company. Anyway enough about Sting as I just rambled for five minutes over a plancha. This is a great match that I’m not going to do a lot of commentary on. It goes about eleven minutes and the longest dead spot is about 20 seconds.

They work themselves to death out there and it makes things go well. After things break down and we have a ref bump, we go to a camera shot that would be like someone looking at the ring from the entrance and we see a big bald guy walking to the ring. It’s Koloff from earlier and he has a chain around his arm. He gets a running start at Luger who has his back to him. Sting shoves him out of the way and takes the chain which lets Scott get the pin.

I love that ending as it furthers Sting and Koloff, or actually starts it I guess. After that there’s no way to put one team over the other so I’m actually fine with it. Sting goes after Koloff in the back and they fight outside.

Rating: A. This is a great tag match all around as you have four guys that can legitimately go with each other out there, a good story as it’s respect all around, and the workrate is off the freaking charts here. All four guys worked very hard and the crowd was itno it all the way. What more can you ask for here?

 

After a brief singles run for Scott, the Brothers left for the WWF in late 1992. One of their first major matches was at Wrestlemania IX against the Headshrinkers.

 

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

The Steiners are sent to the floor so they both climb to the top and hit a double Steiner Line to take both Samoans out to the floor. We settle down to Scott vs. Fatu again but it’s quickly off to Rick. Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri at the first aid station. Samu pounds on Rick in the corner and hits a running clothesline, only to be taken down by a running forearm/clothesline. Samu goes face first into the post to absolutely no effect, because he’s Samoan you see.

Back to Scott but Afa gets on the apron for a distraction. Scott charges into a hot shot to send him out to the floor in a NASTY looking bump. Afa cracks his staff over Scott’s back which looked great and sounded even greater. Things settle down a bit and Fatu hits a backbreaker and middle rope headbutt for two on Scott. A spinning kick to the face takes Scott down again but Samu charges into a boot in the corner.

Fatu blocks the hot tag by knocking Scott to the floor where he gets sent face first into the post. In a sweet sequence, Scott tries to ram Fatu’s head into the mat but Fatu pops up and superkicks Scott right back down. A modified Demolition Decapitatior gets two on Scott and let’s hit that nerve hold. Scott fights up and they collide as is common in tag matches. Heenan keeps ripping on JR and Oklahoma as Ross has almost no idea what to make of this kind of sarcasm. That says a lot when he used to work with Jim Cornette.

Back to Samu who goes up top, only to miss a top rope splash. The hot tag brings in Rick but a double headbutt immediately puts him back down. Here’s your awesome spot of the match: Rick gets loaded up in a Doomsday Device position but when Samu dives at him with a cross body, Rick catches him in mid air and powerslams/belly to belly suplexes him off Fatu’s shoulders and down. AWESOME looking move and they hit it perfectly. Scott hits a belly to belly on Fatu but Samu hits a superkick to take him right back down. Out of NOWHERE Scott hits the Frankensteiner for the pin. Nice bump from a guy that big.

Rating: B. I liked this one as much as I liked the opener which is saying a lot. This probably should have kicked the show off as the spots were hitting better and the fans were popping a lot louder, but I can get why they went with a title match. I’m a Headshrinkers fan so seeing them hold their own against one of the best teams ever is a very fun sight. Good match here and that powerslam was great.

The Steiners didn’t do much in the WWF (other than two forgettable Tag Title reigns), but they did have one masterpiece against Bret and Owen Hart at a taped house show on January 11, 1994.

Steiner Brothers vs. Owen Hart/Bret Hart

Bret and Scott get things going with Scott easily taking Bret down with a double leg. Bret comes back with a nice amateur takedown of his own but Scott SNAPS back up and grabs a spinning toe hold of all things. Again Bret is able to get back to his feet but gets caught in a strong headlock. When the amateur stuff goes to a standstill, Scott just runs Bret over with a shoulder to send him outside. They’re going for the slow build here and for once it’s between teams that could pull that off.

Back in and Owen tries his luck with an arm ringer but Scott easily slams him down. Off to Rick who takes Owen to the mat but Owen spins out and it’s a standoff. I’m not doing their speed on the mat justice. These guys are FLYING down there and it’s awesome stuff. Owen’s leapfrog is countered into a powerslam followed by a wicked German suplex for two. The Harts are getting tossed around like dolls out there. Owen pops up with his spinning wristlock and Germans Rick down for two in a nice showup move.

Back to Scott who gets suplexed for two more but he comes right back with a tiger suplex for a thud and two. Time for Bret vs. Rick with Rick cranking on the arm and Bret not being able to slam his way out of it. Bret slaps the mat but that doesn’t mean anything at this point. Rick bends the arm back as the fans chant for Bret. Back up and Bret finally whips Rick off and knees him in the ribs but misses an elbow drop.

We hit the armbar again but Bret fights out and takes over with a dropkick. A DDT of all things puts Rick down for a few moments but he’s up and punching again. Bret realizes he’s in WAY over his head in a slugout and grabs a sleeper instead. Monsoon thinks it’s a choke as the referee checks the arm but on the third drop, Rick falls into the ropes for the break. Bret uncharacteristically won’t let go until four and Scott isn’t happy at all. The middle rope elbow hits Rick’s boot and the top rope bulldog gets two.

Bret takes the chest first bump into the corner for two and it’s back to Scott. There haven’t been a lot of tags in this match. Scott hits a nice tilt-a-whirl slam for two before avoiding a charging Bret who goes shoulder first into the post. Bret tries to walk it off but has to block a suplex back inside. Instead he suplexes Scott up and over to the floor in a painful looking landing. Scott is holding his knee as it’s back to Owen for a top rope headbutt to the back.

There’s an abdominal stretch and Gorilla is IMMEDIATELY ripping on Owen for using the hold at all on a power guy like Scott. The other commentator Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) points out how stupid it is to not go after the knee that Scott was holding. Scott is sent into the middle buckle and it’s already back to Bret who doesn’t look all the way recovered from going into the post. A slam gets two on Scott and it’s quickly back to Owen as the pace picks up a bit.

Owen whips Scott into the ropes and knocks Bret off the apron in a nice little callback to Survivor Series 1993. Scott gets the hot tag to bring in Rick and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Owen. Back to Scott for a dragon suplex and a two count before Rick comes in again for the BIG Steiner Line and two more.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Scott doesn’t care for that kind of lame offense. He comes back in and busts out the STEINER SCREWDRIVER to knock Owen silly. For those of you that have never seen it, it’s a vertical suplex but Scott turns Owen slightly before lifting him into the air and dropping him straight down into a piledriver. It’s very rare to see because most people aren’t crazy enough to take it. Bret makes the save because Owen would have been out for a count of 300 at least.

Scott sends Owen to the floor for some reason but he’s able to slingshot Scott over the top rope and out to the floor. Owen DIVES for a tag to Bret for the Five Moves of Doom but Rick breaks up the Sharpshooter. The other Hart tries to come in but Rick breaks that up as well. The Steiners load up the Steiner Bulldog but Bret makes the save as everything breaks down. Bret and Rick are knocked to the floor but Scott dives off the top with a double ax handle. Owen adds a pescado and it’s finally a double countout to end it.

Rating: A+. That might be the best tag match the WWF ever had, and that covers a lot of ground. This was a chess match with both teams being amateur masters so it was the Harts’ speed against the Steiners’ power, which is the best possible combination. I also really like that there were no winners as this was one of those rare matches where neither team deserved to lose. Absolutely outstanding stuff here that might actually be better than Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho and TLC 2. Let that sink in for a minute and then GO WATCH THIS.

The brawl keeps going for a bit until they finally separate. Scott gets the mic and says let’s keep it going so here come the Canadians. The right is on again until a bunch of referees come out to break it up again. They go at it a third time and Gorilla sees Pat Patterson. “OH BOY DID HE GET FAT!” The delivery of that was hilarious. The Steiners are finally put out of the ring but now Bret gets the mic and says they’re not going anywhere so it starts up all over again. They’re FINALLY separated and everybody shakes hands.

Rick and Scott pretty much disappeared from the WWF a few months after this and would wind up in ECW about a year later, debuting at a house show on July 28, 1998.

Steiner Brothers vs. Vampire Warrior/Dudley Dudley

Vampire Warrior is more famous as Gangrel. Scott and Dudley get things going with the guy you’ve probably heard of throwing Dudley around with ease twice in a row. A butterfly powerbomb sends Dudley running for the corner and it’s off to the Warrior and Rick. The Steiners are WAY over here. The Warrior gets in some chops to start but walks into a BIG powerslam to stop him cold.

Some double teaming slows Rick down for a bit and it’s back to Dudley for some lame shots to the back and a neckbreaker for two. More double teaming ensues but Dudley jumps into Rick’s boot. Hot tag brings in Scott and house is immediately cleaned as Scott busts out a bunch of suplexes. The Steiner bulldog ends the Warrior with ease.

Rating: D+. We’ll file this one under “what else were you expecting?” The Steiners were still an awesome team at this point and two of the guys that could hang with anyone in the ring. Back when he was on his game, there wasn’t much more fun to watch than Scott Steiner throwing people around like they were nothing.

This one didn’t last long either and it was off to WCW again, but not much happened in 1996. The following year brought a LONG feud with the Outsiders that saw the Steiners win the Tag Titles a few times. Here’s one of their final matches, from February 9, 1998 on Nitro.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Outsiders

The Outsiders are defending. For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner will be referred to as Scott and Scott Hall will be referred to as Hall. Tony says Sting may be injured after that attack. Rick starts with Hall and the challengers take over early on. It’s off to Scott but Hall blocks a belly to belly suplex and hooks a chokeslam. Scott pops back up and hits an overhead belly to belly to take Hall down. Scott has to go after Nash and Hall takes his head off with a clothesline.

Nash gets the tag and fires off the big knee lifts in the corner to keep Scott in trouble. There’s the choke with the foot and it’s back to Hall for the fallaway slam. Back to Nash for some posing and a big boot to the face for no cover. Hall hooks the abdominal stretch before slapping the back of Scott’s head. Nash comes back in and teases the Jackknife but elbows Scott in the head instead. Back to Hall who walks into a side slam but leverages Scott into Rick, knocking the legal Rick to the floor. Hall loads up the Edge on Scott but Rick comes in with the top rope bulldog for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The match was a standard formula tag match but the ending felt very rushed. It was interesting to see Scott take the long beating instead of Rick for a change and the match was at least different than the usual encounters between these teams. At the same time though, can we PLEASE get another team to hold the titles? It’s been a year and a half and one other team has held the titles, with a reign of less than a day.

That was about it for the Brothers as they would split up less than a month later and pretty much be done for about ten years. Rick would work in Japan before shifting towards a real world job while Scott would be a singles star. They would however reunite in TNA in 2007, including a dream match against the Dudley Boys at Bound For Glory 2007.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks stupid. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

If the Road Warrios were all about dominance, the Steiner Brothers were all about beating the tar out of people with raw power and technical abilities. They were untouchable in the late 80s and early 90s and had some of the best matches with anyone they ever fought. Those matches against Bret/Owen and Sting/Luger are as good of a pair of tag matches as you’ll ever see.

Scott Steiner was the closest thing to a Brock Lesnar that WCW ever had and could have been the world champion if he hadn’t injured his arm. I mean that literally, as Flair basically said name the time and the place and I’ll drop the title to him. Go watch these guys from their primes if you’ve never seen their work. They’re a top five tag team ever at worst and maybe even the best of all time. Not a lot of teams can say that but the Steiners certainly can.

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Other than specific events that is.  Here are a few ideas of mine.1. A commentary show.

As in you air matches with the wrestlers offering their own commentary on them like a director’s commentary on a DVD.  I’ve seen a few of these before and they’re rather interesting at times.

2. Coliseum Video.

For you younguns, Coliseum Video was the official home video distributor for the WWF back in the 90s.  They had a ton of tapes with some great stuff hidden in there, ranging from Smack Em Whack Em (BRet vs. Flair for the title and the first ladder match) to a 20 volume series called Best of the WWF to a 5 volume Hulk Hogan series, the third of which is as good of a home video as they ever released.

3. ECW specials.

Before they were on PPV, ECW’s big market was in home video with specials.  I’m not a fan, but a lot of those are hard to find and have some of their bigger moments included.  Throw that stuff out there.

4. Compilations you won’t see anywhere else.

Remember the Best of Braden Walker DVD ad?  Actually do stuff like that.  Throw out a Best of Curt Hawkins show or The Life and Times of Hornswoggle.  Be creative and over the top with it to the point that it’s fun.

 

Thoughts/wish list?

Fall Brawl 1998
Date: September 13, 1998
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Center, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,528
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s WARGAMES! Well in name only at least as whatever they have tonight certainly isn’t the same idea that gave us the best team gimmick match of all time. Tonight there are three teams of three men each but only one individual can win, making the team concept completely pointless. The winner faces Goldberg, who isn’t on the card tonight, for the title at Halloween Havoc. Let’s get to it.

The opening video just shows all nine people in the main event.

The ring setup is different than any other show as there are two rings right next to each other. The matches will alternate between rings all night.

The announcers talk about the main event as a LOUD We Want Flair chant starts up. They go over the rules of the main event before going to the back where Ernest Miller is being restrained. There was a lottery earlier and it will be Bret Hart vs. DDP to start. Another new rule this year: the match can end at any time instead of waiting for everyone to get in.

Gene talks even more but Jericho interrupts and announces he’ll be in a champion vs. champion match tonight against Goldberg. The fans are very intrigued.

Davey Boy Smith/Jim Neidhart vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Alex and Davey get things going with Smith taking him into the corner and hitting some forearms to the head. A hiptoss and gorilla press slam send Wright into the corner to bring in Disco. He gets to face Neidhart as the match slow down a bit. Some shoulder blocks put Disco down and Anvil swivels his hips a bit. Disco fires back with some stomps to the chest and a running knee lift, only to have Neidhart drive him into the corner for the tag off to Bulldog.

Wright comes in as well and stomps a German mudhole in the corner. Bulldog cartwheels out of a monkey flip but Alex pops up and hits a spinwheel kick to take over again. Back to Disco who hits a nice shot to the jaw but Smith sidesteps him to send Disco outside. Jim gets in some stomps on the floor and whips Inferno hard into the barricade. Disco is thrown inside for a chinlock before fighting up and stepping on Smith’s foot. He runs into Davey to knock him down (no move or anything. Disco just collided with him) but Davey picks him up and throws him at the ropes in what I think was supposed to be a hot shot.

Neidhart gets another tag and slams Disco onto the mat as Heenan picks Piper to win WarGames. Jim bites Disco’s forehead as this boring match continues so the fans chant for Flair again. Smith comes back in to launch Neidhart in for a slingshot shoulder block but I think he leaves it short (Disco tried to move so it wasn’t clear which happened) and it’s back to Alex.

Bulldog comes in and gets backdropped, which I believe is the move that broke his back as he landed on Warrior’s trapdoor because WCW thought Ultimate Warrior should have magical powers. The match degenerates into a comedy match with the referee having to drop to the mat to avoid a charging Bulldog before the injured Davey Boy gets Disco up for the powerslam and the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been on any given episode of Saturday Night but instead it’s opening a pay per view. Keep that in mind when you remember that guys like Eddie Guerrero and the world champion couldn’t get on the card tonight. This was pretty much it for Neidhart and Smith would be gone about a month later after the back injury got infected and put him in the hospital for six months.

Gene is with Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell with Scott saying he’s injured and showing the Band-Aid to prove it. Steiner’s doctor has written him a note saying he can’t wrestle tonight but JJ Dillon just happens to be walking by and says the match is on anyway. Again, why bother making up these stories and having them resolved in the same segment? The match has been building for seven months now. Just have them fight.

TV Title/WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg

We get the long entrance from the back, complete with the debut of RALPHUS as the Jericho Personal Security. Jericho finds the lunch room, the door to the parking lot (“Not falling for that again!”) and finally the arena. The pyro are just little puffs of smoke to anger Jericho even more but the fans love him. Of course it’s not the real Goldberg though as we get the all time favorite: the little impersonator. At least this guy is taller than the top rope. The fans are REALLY not pleased and can you blame them? We’re thirty minutes into this show and we’ve had the opening match and this. Jericho no sells the spear and wins with the Liontamer.

Rick Steiner is at the internet location and isn’t happy that he has to fight his brother. He knows his brother better than anyone does and he’ll teach him a lesson. As generic as this was, it’s the second best thing on the show tonight.

We see the entire segment with Ernest Miller interrupting the Armstrongs on Thunder, leading to Norman Smiley making a save.

Norman Smiley vs. Ernest Miller

Miller gives Smiley five seconds to get out of the ring before he takes him apart but Norman chops him to the floor. Smiley follows him outside but gets whipped into the barricade before we head back inside for a variety of kicks. A double chop to the throat puts Norman down again and Miller mixes up his offense with some knees to the chest. More choking ensues against the ropes before he throws Smiley down with a judo move. Off to a lame armbar before Norman comes back to no reaction from the bored crowd. A delayed suplex gets two on Miller but he breaks up a superplex attempt and hits two Feliners for the pin.

Rating: D. To clarify: WCW would rather push a one dimensional martial arts guy over an international submission/amateur style wrestler with years of experience wrestling all over the world. Smiley had a lot of tools but never got to showcase what he could do. But hey, at least we get to see ERNEST MILLER.

We recap Rick vs. Scott Steiner. Scott turned on his brother back in February and has avoided the match over and over again before they FINALLY go at it tonight.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott stalls on the floor for a few minutes before coming back inside for a slugout with Rick getting the better of it. A right hand from Scott has no effect and he bails to the floor. Rick chases him into the crowd and drags him back into the ring but Scott hits him low to escape a belly to belly suplex.

After more stalling Rick blocks a butterfly suplex and hits a DDT before going up for the bulldog. Buff Bagwell interferes but gets rammed into the buckle, knocking him out cold and dropping him to the mat. Rick’s bad shoulder is sent into the post but he comes right back with right hands. The referee is with Bagwell and the match is stopped due to his injury, further ticking off the crowd.

Rating: D-. This was getting better but of course we have a false finish because waiting seven months for a full match just isn’t long enough. I can’t blame the crowd for getting even angrier after sitting through this as they were getting their first interesting match of the night but it didn’t even break six minutes.

Bagwell is awake and talking to Scott as the crowd shouts what they think of this nonsense. Trainers come out to check on Bagwell as the announcers talk about how serious this is. A stretcher is brought out as the show grinds to another halt. We go all the way to the back to see Bagwell loaded into a stretcher with Rick saying someone needs to call Buff’s mom. The ambulance doors are closed, Rick is distraught, and of course Scott and Buff come back out and beat him down. Nearly ten minutes were spent on this after the match ended.

Cruiserweight Title: Silver King vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is a rematch after Silver King got disqualified on Thunder. Juvy is defending of course. The announcers spend the opening part of the match talking about how they’re not going to talk about Bagwell. Juvy takes him down with an armbar to start but Silver flips out of it and sends the champion to the mat. The announcers mention the match they had on Thunder, referring to it as “recently on WCW TV”. They can’t even get the details of a match from three days ago?

Juvy comes back with a quick hurricarana and a springboard into a headscissors for two. Another springboard move is caught by a dropkick from Silver King before he loads Juvy on his shoulder and spins him, tossing him into the buckle. A shoulder breaker gets two on the champion and a dropkick knocks him outside. Silver King hits a nice springboard plancha to take Juvy out again as the fans chant Taco Bell.

Back in and Juvy tries a quick sunset flip but overshoots it and crashes. Thankfully Silver King doesn’t walk over to him so Juvy can get the near fall. Instead Juvy gets up and hits a quick springboard hurricanrana for two and a missile dropkick gets the same. King misses a charge into the corner and an inversted Frankensteiner is good for two. Cool looking move, but of course it’s not enough for the pin because why have a big, new move get a victory? The Juvy Driver and 450 retain Guerrera’s title.

Rating: C. This was good almost due to how bad everything else has been. Silver King wasn’t the best choice for a challenger but Juvy is cleaning out the division before someone steps up to beat him. The Frankensteiner was a nice move but it doesn’t make up for the first hour being a waste of time.

Konnan is doing an interview on WCW.com when Scott Hall comes up and throws a drink in his face.

We recap Saturn vs. Raven. Lodi had won Saturn’s servitude due to interference and Saturn has been forced to comply due to his honor code as a former Army Ranger. Saturn believed in honor so much that he allowed his fingers to be broken instead of dishonorably breaking Riggs’ fingers. Tonight if Raven wins then Saturn is Raven’s servant forever but if Saturn wins, the Flock disbands.

Raven vs. Saturn

Kanyon is handcuffed to the ring to make it as far as possible. It’s also Raven’s Rules. Raven chills in the corner to start before getting in a cheap shot and sending Saturn across the ring and down to the mat. A running knee lift has Saturn in even more trouble but he comes back with some high kicks in the corner and a spinning springboard forearm for two. Saturn gets the same off a top rope splash and another kick sends Raven into the barricade. Lodi goes over to help but both guys are taken out by a nice suicide dive to wake up the crowd a little bit.

Lodi interferes a bit to give Raven control and get a two count off a pair of middle rope elbows. Saturn comes back with something resembling a powerbomb for two, only to be taken down by a quick clothesline. There’s a sleeper to Saturn but he comes out of it with a jawbreaker to put both guys down. Raven is up first with some rolling Russian legsweeps for two but Saturn hits him low to get a break.

We get our first chair brought in for the drop toehold from Raven and the Flock brings in a table. Kidman is on the other side of the ring and comes in to turn on Raven with a dropkick before sprinting to the back with the Flock chasing after him. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver gets a VERY close two before he snaps off three straight suplexes. Raven is out on his feet so Saturn slams him to the mat and gets two off a spinning springboard legdrop.

Something like a Juvy Driver gets two more for Saturn so he puts on the Rings of Saturn but Lodi makes the save. The referee gets bumped and Kanyon gets the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket to set himself free. He gives Saturn a Flatliner but Raven can only get two. Saturn drives Lodi through the table with the Death Valley Driver but walks into the EvenFlow. He kicks out again and the fans are WAY into this now. Another Death Valley Driver is enough to split up the Flock.

Rating: B. This was the only way to end the feud and it worked very well. As is almost always the case, the backstory makes the match much better as you have Saturn rising above everyone else and surviving everything Raven throws at him. Kidman turning makes sense as he had already been changing his look in the previous months, which is always a good addition to a feud.

Jim Duggan’s cancerous tumor was successfully removed and it was the size of a football.

We look at the end of the cage match from Monday with Arn Anderson coming out to save Dean and blow the roof off the place. That’s the problem with tonight being the double cage match: the Malenko vs. Hennig cage match would have made more sense on PPV but they had to do the whole thing backwards.

Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig

Dean goes right for Curt to start but Hennig bails to the floor. The fans want Flair but get Dean ramming Hennig’s leg into the barricade instead. Rude tries to interfere but gets stared down, allowing Malenko to wrap Curt’s leg around the post. Back in and Dean stays on the leg, leaving Curt unable to slam Dean. Tony declares this a Horsemen style attack as Curt gets in a shot to the ribs to slow Dean down and take over. He can’t keep up the attack due to the knee though and Dean goes right back to it with a knee crusher.

Hennig bails to the floor where Rude tries to help him to the back but Dean will have none of that. Back in and Dean cannonballs down on the knee before putting on a leg bar. Off to a different kind of leg lock as the fans are just waiting for Anderson and Flair to run in. Back up and Hennig forearms him down but the knee gives out on the HennigPlex attempt. Instead Dean HennigPlexes Curt but Rude comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. GAH this was irritating. Is it going to kill Curt Hennig to have him job to Malenko on PPV? Apparently so, because we couldn’t possibly let a cruiserweight like Malenko get a clean pin over a big star, even if that big star hasn’t meant much of anything in months. This was a very annoying ending.

Dean gets beaten down but Anderson runs out for the save. Hennig and Rude take him down with ease and stomp on his bad arm as no one runs out to help. The NWO stands tall because that’s how WCW works.

Halloween Havoc ad.

Scott Hall vs. Konnan

Hall does the survey and the NWO chant is barely audible. Feeling out process to start until Hall throws the toothpick in Konnan’s face. Scott cranks on Konnan’s arm and slaps him in the back of the head for a bit so Konnan just punches him in the face. The fans go nuts for Konnan all of a sudden before he takes Hall down with a shoulder block. Hall does the changing hands on a test of strength bit until Konnan punches him again. Scott tries to run but gets caught in the between the rings and is stomped down to the floor between the gap.

Stalling ensues on the floor as the crowd dies again. Back inside and Hall cranks on both arms and putting a knee between Konnan’s shoulders. Konnan spins his arms around to reverse the hold but doesn’t move his hands. In other words, the only thing keeping Hall in this hold is him grabbing Konnan’s wrists. He finally kicks Konnan low to escape and for a two count. The fallaway slam gets the same and we hit the abdominal stretch. Hall even has a drink while he has the hold applied.

Konnan counters into one of his own but Hall hiptosses him down, only to miss three straight elbow drops. Scott is rammed into the buckles a few times but he comes right back with a clothesline. A belly to back superplex drops Konnan again but he stops for a drink instead of covering. Konnan kicks the cup into his face and hits the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise for the win.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match for the most part but it doesn’t mean anything. This was the same kind of match that you would see in the Alliance era in WWF: not terrible but doesn’t change anything for anyone. I’ll give them credit for pushing Konnan though as this was as close to a clean win as you’re going to get in an NWO match.

WarGames: Team WCW vs. Team NWO Wolfpack vs. Team NWO Hollywood

WCW: Diamond Dallas Page, Warrior, Roddy Piper

Wolfpack: Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger

Hollywood: Hollywood Hogan, Bret Hart, Stevie Ray

There are different rules this year. We’re going to start with Hart vs. Page for five minutes and every two minutes someone else will be added. The match can end at anytime and for the first time ever, by pinfall. The first person to get a fall faces Goldberg next month at Halloween Havoc. It’s a double cage so the ring is completely surrounded, including a top. There’s no wall or barricade between the two rings so people can change rings at will.

To further annoy me, Sting vs. Goldberg is announced for tomorrow night. That could have headlined Starrcade. This first period is five minutes. Page cranks on the arm to start and gets two off a shoulder block. An early Diamons Cutter attempt misses and Page is sent face first into the buckle. Hart DDTs him down and rams Page into another buckle. We have two minutes left in the match as the trade right hands in the corner.

A backbreaker keeps Page in trouble but he grabs the arm and drives it down into the mat to get a breather. Page comes back with his discus lariat to put both guys down as Stevie Ray comes in third. All remaining periods are just two minutes. Ray chokes on Page and slams him but opts to choke instead of cover. A clothesline keeps Page in trouble as Sting is in fourth. Stevie meets him coming in and we have action in both rings for the first time tonight.

Stevie is sent to the other ring so Sting dives over two sets of ropes with a clothesline (called the Stinger Splash by Tenay) as all four are in the same ring. They’re already slowing down with Sting the only one on his feet. Ray gets caught between the ropes and cage for a splash from Sting as Hart piledrives Page. A second splash from Sting hits the cage as Piper is in fifth. Piper bites various people and pokes a lot of eyes because this is WAR. He nails Page because the team concept means nothing. You might even be able to pin your team members but it’s not specified.

Stevie is stomped between the rings and Bret punches Page from one ring to the other. Luger strolls to the ring at number six and goes after Stevie while the other four guys are in the first ring. Lex jumps Hart to end whatever bond they made on Thunder before moving over to Piper. Roddy’s sleeper doesn’t last long on Luger and it’s Nash (with pyro) in seventh. Big Kev cleans house as Hogan comes out a minute and twenty seconds early.

Luger Racks Bret but Hogan is knocking everyone out with Stevie’s slap jack. Stevie and Hogan are the only people left standing as the match stops cold. Hogan’s time ends despite him being in the ring for a minute already. The match has completely died with Hogan dropping leg after leg on Nash. There’s the Warrior smoke and Warrior appears in the ring. Hogan jumps him from behind and lays him out but more smoke fills the ring.

It clears out and only Warrior’s coat is left. Warrior runs down the aisle as Hogan panics. Stevie takes Warrior down with relative ease as Disciple pulls Hogan out of the cage. Everyone else is still out cold by the way. Warrior comes back on Ray and walks around the ring looking at Hogan before kicking the cage wall apart and chasing Hogan to the back. In the ring, DDP pops up and hits a quick Diamond Cutter on Ray for the win.

Rating: Agoobwa. This match was so stupid that it’s beneath any letter grade. I’m not even sure where to start. First off, this isn’t WarGames. This is more like a regular match dressing up like WarGames for Halloween. There was never any drama or intrigue and the match never felt important at all. It was about fifteen minutes of lackluster punching and kicking before Hogan and Stevie Ray knocked everyone else out with a weapon so they wouldn’t have to fill in all that time with action.

On top of that, this wasn’t even violent. Other than Sting splashing Ray against the cage, no one was rammed into the steel until Warrior sent Stevie into it. The biggest flaw here is there was no hatred or personal animosity between these guys. They were just all assigned to teams and might have had some matches that ended in DQ’s a few weeks earlier. That doesn’t make for a match that is supposed to be the biggest, most violent fight of the year.

It’s very similar to the modern day Hell in a Cell matches. With so little time to build up to them, there’s no reason to care about what happens out there. Look back to let’s say 1992 with Sting’s Squadron against the Dangerous Alliance. There were probably five individual feuds in there and they had been built up for months. Or even look at 1995 with Hogan’s team against the Dungeon of Doom. The match sucked but at least there was a reason for them to be fighting other than “we need members of each organization.” This wasn’t WarGames. It was a multiple man match which happened to be in the double cage.

Page celebrates in the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. If there was a rating lower than this, the show would get that. This was dreadful throughout with Raven vs. Saturn being the only match worth checking out and even that’s a stretch. They took all of the good potential that WCW had been building up for months and wasted it in one night. No Guerrero, no Goldberg (he couldn’t even show up and beat on Jericho?), no Flair, and Anderson gets beaten down because we need to keep Curt Hennig looking strong. This ranks up there with the worst shows of all time and I can easily see why it was named the worst show of the year for 1998.

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Monday Nitro #152
Date: August 31, 1998
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,481
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re still getting ready for WarGames and even though Team WCW looked to be in place last Monday, DDP suggested that Piper wasn’t officially a part of the team this past week on Thunder. Other than that we get to find out more about the Warrior’s Revolution, which is likely to get very stupid in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to get us going. Bischoff thanks the fans for their money tonight before talking about the pen being powerful. Because of the pen, Eddie Guerrero has to wrestle tonight and Ultimate Warrior won’t be in the ring. Hogan talks about how WarGames will be proof of the NWO’s power and adds Stevie Ray to the team along with himself and Bret. You have Giant on your side and you pick Stevie Ray? The fans chant for Goldberg as Hogan moves on to Warrior. He’ll get his revenge after eight years and then take the title back from Goldberg.

Actually Hogan doesn’t even want to wait for Warrior so get out here right now. The lights go out and Warrior appears to some middle of the road rock music before a song that sounds very similar to Warrior’s WWF theme. Hogan says the fire represents the fear in Warrior’s eyes because the NWO is at ringside. The lights go out again and the ring fills up with smoke. They come back on and Warrior is gone, leaving the NWO confused. We get the Warrior Symbol in the sky before going to the opening sequence.

Hogan/Hart vs. Sting/Luger tonight.

We get a video of Goldberg at the Florida Marlins’ stadium and hanging out with Mark McGwire. For those of you unfamiliar, McGwire was chasing the single season home run record in 1998 and was quite possibly the biggest thing in America at that point.

Wrath vs. Jim Powers

Wrath chops away in the corner and shrugs off forearms from Powers. Powerful shots to the chest have Jim in trouble and choking ensues. Jim comes back with some right hands in the corner with the fans trying to count along but Wrath keeps shoving him off to restart the count. An atomic drop by Wrath seems to blow out Powers’ knee so it’s the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Wrath looked good out there as he ran over Powers like he wasn’t even there. The Meltdown is a good move for a guy that strong with the snap looking very impressive. This was Powers’ last match in WCW and I don’t think anyone missed him. Shame to go out with a knee injury like that if it was legit.

Nitro Girls at the announcers’ desk.

Okerlund and some Nitro Girls are at the Nitro Party grand prize winner in Ohio.

Norman Smiley vs. Scott Norton

Norton immediately headbutts him into the corner. A series of chops set up a powerslam for two as Norton pulls him up. He does the same off the shoulder breaker before powerbombing Norman in half for the pin.

The lights go out after the match and the Warrior is seen in the rafters.

Saturn carries Lodi’s bags into the arena due to losing a match on Thunder. The servitude lasts until Fall Brawl. Saturn says he has to do this because he lives by a code of honor as a former Army ranger.

Here’s the Wolfpack, again minus Sting, with something to say. Nash and Konnan do their catchphrases before Luger, with a goatee, says Sting is on his way to the arena for their tag match tonight. Nash says that unlike the Black and White, they have no leader. He announces the Wolfpack’s team for WarGames and to no surprise, it’s Sting, Luger and Nash.

That brings Nash to last week when DDP and Page got involved in Wolfpack business. Page has until next week to make a decision and Piper will be dealt with if he gets involved again. Nash also tells a story about a warrior sitting under a tree and waking up to see himself surrounded by wolves. The warrior tried to touch one of them and was eaten. The moral: if you don’t run with the pack, you’re being hunted. Not bad actually.

After a break, JJ Dillon is in the ring and asks Arn Anderson to come out for an off the record talk. Arn comes out to a WE WANT FLAIR chant as JJ talks about having to disassociate himself with the Horsemen when he joined the executive committee. However the other night he was watching an old tape and wants us to look at it.

We see an old promo of Arn Anderson talking about all the talent coming into the Mid-Atlantic area. Lots of people have wanted to come here and it’s been because of Gene and Ole Anderson. Well now the greatest Anderson of all time is here. He’s looking for guys like Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat and Magnum TA because he does it better than anyone else. That was probably from 1984.

Back live JJ talks about watching that promo many years ago and seeing something in Anderson. Arn became the heart and soul of the Horsemen. Over the years, JJ knew that WCW would be ok as long as the Horsemen were alive. However he’s seen the NWO factions take away a piece of the Horsemen at a time. Then he saw Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael ask Arn to restart the team, only to be told they don’t get it. Well JJ thinks Arn doesn’t get it and here are Mongo and Benoit to back him up.

They talk to Arn without microhones but Arn is shaking his head no. The fans chant WE WANT FLAIR as Arn starts to levae. JJ stops him and Arn is looking confused. JJ asks where Anderson is going and Arn asks why they’re doing this to him. Dillon never thought he would say this but he thinks Arn is afraid of all this. Anderson leaves to end this awesome segment. There’s something special here but since it’s WCW I’m just waiting for them to screw it up.

Hour #2 begins.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and Tony talks about Bischoff holding the Horsemen down. This transitions into a discussion of Eddie Guerrero asking to be released.

We look at Guerrero saying he wanted out of his contract and throwing coffee on himself. Bischoff is holding Eddie to his contract though.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Brian Adams

Before the match we get the Warrior signal again and Warrior is seen in the rafters. Eddie lounges on the top rope before the bell and then lays down on the mat. Adams won’t cover so Eddie gets on his knees and asks Adams to hit him. Brian towers over him even when Eddie is on his feet. Adams pulls back to hit him a few times but then throws him into the corner for some right hands. Guerrero isn’t fighting back at all. A hiptoss puts Eddie down and he lays there to be pinned. Adams puts his foot on Eddie’s chest for the easy pin. Storyline advancement.

Post match Eddie says Bischoff may have the power but he’s not going to be able to sue Eddie like he has other people.

We look at Ernest Miller turning heel on Thunder.

The Cat vs. Riggs

Riggs takes him into the corner to start and grabs a headlock before cranking on the arm. A dropkick, the only move Riggs is good at, sends Cat to the floor followed by a plancha. Back in and Cat pokes him in the eye and superkicks Riggs down. A big kick to the face puts Riggs down again and Cat talks a lot of trash. Two straight running spin kicks are enough to pin Riggs in a short match.

Post match Miller grabs the mic and says not to hate him because he’s beautiful. He’s the best wrestler and a three time world karate champion. No one can stop him, including all of the fans. Moving on.

Nitro Girls and it’s back to the Nitro Party.

Konnan vs. Marty Jannetty

Konnan takes him down to start and hits the rolling clothesline before pulling on his pants a lot. The low dropkick sets up a rolling armbar which isn’t broken even when Marty is in the ropes. Back up and Jannetty superkicks Konnan to take over but doesn’t immediately follow up. A jumping back elbow gets two and Marty stalls some more.

Marty puts on a chinlock and Russian legsweeps Konnan down for no cover. Jannetty stomps away and walks around a bit before putting on another chinlock. After that eats up some time, a clothesline gets two on Konnan. A neck snap across the top rope and a top rope cross body get the same and Marty is mad. Back up and Konnan grabs a quick X-Factor and the Tequila Sunrise is good for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Better match than you would have expected here, even though it needed to be about a minute shorter. Marty could still put on a decent match when he had the time and that’s what he got here. Konnan barely had any offense until the ending which is a WCW tradition that I’m getting tired of.

Here’s the Flock. Lodi makes Saturn carry a sign (“I’m With Lodi”) and they’re flanked by Kanyon and Raven. Before the match, Raven says Saturn isn’t allowed to touch himself or Kanyon tonight before telling Kanyon to break Saturn. Kanyon makes fun of Saturn’s military background and dares Saturn to hit him but Saturn stands him ground. Saturn doesn’t do it and is disgusted with himself.

Lodi/Saturn vs. High Voltage

Robbie starts with Lodi and the sign guy is easily shoved down. Saturn tells him to do something so Lodi bounces off of Rage. Now it’s Saturn’s turn but he’s clotheslined down as well. He’ll have none of that though and suplexes Rage down. Lodi immediately wants in but sees Kaos, sending Lodi right back to the corner for the tag to Saturn. Kaos gets kicked in the corner but a blind tag brings in Rage for an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Kaos for a hard clothesline but Saturn fights off both guys in lime green. The Death Valley Driver puts Rage down and Lodi tags himself in and steals the pin.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not wild on Kanyon joining the Flock but it’s nice to go somewhere in this story instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again. Lodi is entertaining too so having him on TV is another good thing.

Here’s DDP to open the third hour. He brags about Tom’s River, New Jersey winning the Little League World Series as a team. They took everyone’s talent and put them together into a team, just like Piper, Warrior and himself will do at Fall Brawl. They’ll take care of the NWO and Hollywood Scum Hogan in particular. Page brings out Piper who goes on a rant about Bret being a rookie and claiming to be Piper’s cousin.

Roddy says he has no family and rambles about Bret facing some guy named John in Toronto. Bret followed him around like a little puppy for years before becoming a Triple Crown Champion in the WWF. Hogan is conning Bret for everything he’s got and Bret is just as scared as he was before that match in Toronto. This brings out Giant but Page pounds away on him. Giant knocks both WCW guys down and chokes Page until security breaks it up. I still don’t get why Giant isn’t in WarGames.

Here’s Scott Steiner with his doctor. Steiner brags about his prowess with the ladies but is annoyed that JJ won’t believe him about the injuries. Apparently Steiner’s doctor has brought in another doctor named Juju Youbangee, which is Buff Bagwell dressed like a Jamacian. Buff’s accent comes and goes before he throws some powder on Scott. The fans think this is bull as Buff declares Steiner healed. Scott says he loves the voodoo that he do and promises to beat Rick up at Fall Brawl. Rick comes in from behind and clears the ring. Warrior and his signal pop up again to close the segment. This was so bizarre it was entertaining.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

Juvy is defending. Feeling out process to start with a shoulder block sending Evan to the mat. The fans are paying attention to something off camera as Evan gorilla presses Juvy throat first onto the top rope. Juvy comes back with a springboard dropkick and some chops but charges into a powerslam for two. Now the fans are looking at something else as, Evan dropkicks him to the floor. Back in and Evan hooks a chinlock as the fans get distracted for the third time.

Juvy sends him to the floor to escape and comes back in with a guillotine legdrop but hurts his own back in the process. Evan is up at two and avoids a charge in the corner to put Juvy down again. Karagias goes after the knee as the fans chant Goldberg. Heenan yells at Evan for letting go of a half crab, allowing Juvy to put on a chinlock. The fans are AGAIN looking at something else and chanting what sounds like “take it off!”.

Evan slams Juvy down and goes up but gets crotched, allowing Juvy to hit a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy getting crotched as the fans are booing something other than the match. Evan hits a top rope hurricanrana of his own for two but misses a top rope Lionsault. Guerrera hits the Juvy Driver to finally retain.

Rating: B-. I feel sorry for these guys as they were having a very good match and the fans were looking at about five other things instead. Karagias looked good out there and hung with Juvy every step of the way. Juvy continues to be as good of a high flier not named Mysterio as there is in the company.

Nitro Girls/Nitro Party. Jim Duggan is there too.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno

Jericho is defending. Disco now has a sweatband. Chris runs him over with a shoulder and does a little shuffle. Disco comes right back with a clothesline and sends Jericho into the corner for some stomping. Tony calls a slam a tilt-a-whirl slam for no apparent reason but Jericho avoids a fist drop.

The Lionsault hits knees and an atomic drop sends Chris face first into the corner. A clothesline and spinebuster get two each and Heenan is impressed with Jericho. Jericho comes back with a German suplex but walks into the Chartbuster for two as Jericho gets his foot on the ropes. Disco charges again but gets caught in the Liontamer for the win.

Rating: C. Much better match than I was expecting here with Disco using his basic offense very well. Jericho continues to be one of the most awesome things on the roster but for whatever political reasons, he’s stuck fighting guys in the lower card and stealing the show every time.

Kevin Nash sits in on commentary for the next match.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Al Green

Nash mentions that Green was his original partner in WCW, which was in a tag team called the Master Blasters. He also wouldn’t mind a shot at the world title. Green looks like a bald Scott Norton and jumps Goldberg to start. The choking and forearms have almost no effect as Goldberg drives him down to the mat. A backdrop and slam put Green down and he bails to the floor as Goldberg loads up the spear. Smart guy. Goldberg sends him into the post and back inside it’s the two moves to retain the title.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Sting/Lex Luger

Bret and Luger get things going with the American grabbing a headlock. Bret comes back with right hands and choking in the corner but Luge rams him into the buckle to take over. A tag brings in Sting and Bret immediately runs to Hogan for a tag. Hogan fires off right hands but Sting shrugs them off and sends Hollywood into the buckle before tagging Luger back in. Choking puts Lex down in the corner and it’s back to Bret for some Canadian choking. We even get an eye rake across the ropes for good measure.

Hogan holds Luger in the corner so Bret can choke even more before choking from the apron. You may be noticing a pattern in the offense here. The heels keep switching without tagging like good villains are supposed to do. Bret hooks a chinlock but gets suplexed down to give Luger a breath.

No hot tag yet though as Hart makes a save, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down again. Now we get the tag to Sting who cleans house on Hogan, only to have Disciple shove Hogan away from the Stinger Splash. Hogan starts whipping Sting with the weightlifting belt but Bret pulls it away. Hart leaves but Hogan goes after him for an argument in the aisle, leading to a countout.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but we get yet another twist in the storyline. It’s nice for Bret to FINALLY have something going on, even though it’s rather confusing. I’m not buying into the NWO tension because it’s happened roughly 847 times now in the last two years but never leads anywhere.

Bret and Hogan shove each other in the ring as some smoke starts. It’s too early apparently as it cuts off, only to start up a few moments later. The lights go out as more smoke comes into the ring. They come back on and everyone is out cold with Warrior in the ring. So it’s sleeping gas, which doesn’t work on Warrior for some reason? Or Hogan apparently as he runs to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but Warrior vs. Hogan is shaping up to be the stupidest feud in a long time. But hey, Hogan’s ego can be repaired so who cares if he stops WCW from being the top company in wrestling again? I’d love to hear some of the creative meetings. “So you see, Warrior has this Bat Signal and sleeping gas that doesn’t work on him and Hogan and then Hogan beats him in the blowoff match using the powers of Hollywood-A-Mania. Great idea right?” As usual the midcard helps bring the show through, but the main event guys drag it right back down.

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Thunder
Date: August 20, 1998
Location: Fargodome, Fargo, North Dakota
Attendance: 9,721
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is a rare taped show, meaning we’re not likely to get anything new on the stories from Monday. Actually that could be a good thing as we don’t have to hear about Warrior for the better part of two hours. Hopefully the show is more entertaining than it has been recently as it’s become nothing more than a set of worthless matches and next to no angle advancement at all. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Psychosis

Unfortunately the announcers are already talking about the Warrior. They shake hands to start with Psychosis pulling the champion into a majistral cradle for two before getting caught in an early headlock. Psychosis fights out and elbows Juvy a few times as the announcers keep talking about WarGames. A cross body gets two for the champion and he puts Psychosis down again with headscissors and spinwheel kicks.

The 450 is broken up and Psychosis gets two off a rollup as we go to a break. Back and they’re in the same places they were before the break with Psychosis putting Juvy down with a backbreaker. The guiilotine legdrop actually connects but Psychosis takes forever to cover and Juvy gets up at two. Juvy flips out of a release German suplex and the Juvy Driver retains the title.

Rating: C. Simple, high flying cruiserweight match to open things up and there’s nothing wrong with that. I was really hoping the announcers wouldn’t spend the entire match talking about the Warrior but it was false hope at best. These two fought each other enough times that they could probably have a good match in their sleep.

Video on the Wolfpack.

Stevie Ray is going to take care of the Giant tonight and no one needs to worry about Booker T’s condition.

Quick look at Warrior debuting.

Jim Duggan vs. Barry Darsow

It’s a power slugout as you would expect with Darsow hammering away to no effect. Duggan fires back with those big right hands and they fall to the floor with Duggan still in control. Back in and the announcers discuss Warrior’s contract situation and promise an update on Monday. Darsow catches Duggan with a knee to the ribs and puts on a neck crank but misses an elbow drop. Jim makes his comeback with a variety of punches and the three point clothesline sets up the Old Glory knee drop for the pin.

Rating: D. Duggan is another guy that’s good at firing up a live crowd but he doesn’t do much for anyone watching on TV. Darsow continues to be on television for reasons I don’t quite get. He’s not terrible or anything but who is going to stop flipping through channels because he’s on Thunder?

Very nice video history of WarGames which fills in some time. This is the kind of stuff you don’t get enough of from WCW. They never were one to talk about their history.

Bret Hart says he’s part of Hogan’s WarGames team before saying how great it is to be US Champion. He knows he can beat Goldberg too.

Mongo wants a piece of Curt Hennig tonight…..for what he did to Flair. Wasn’t that a year ago?

Dean Malenko vs. Brian Adams

Nice to see Dean getting to work with a more main event guy. Dean tries to take Adams down but Brian just knocks him away with pure power. A jawbreaker staggers Adams but he puts Dean down with a backbreaker for two. Malenko goes for the arm but is thrown away again before being thrown to the floor for some shots from Vincent.

Back inside and Adams kicks Dean in the face and hits a gutbuster for two. Dean avoids an elbow but jumps into a bearhug, only to counter it into a nice DDT. It’s Cloverleaf time but a Vincent distraction lets Hennig run in with a cheap shot, allowing Adams to hit the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the win.

Rating: C. Surprisingly good match here with Dean playing David to Adams’ Goliath quite well. The ending is all you can expect from an NWO match but it’s nice to see Dean getting a chance to move up the card a little bit. Malenko vs. Hennig could be a great match if they give it more than four minutes.

Video on NWO Hollywood.

We look at Steiner and Bagwell’s segment from Nitro with Steiner claiming various injuries.

Saturn vs. Horace vs. Raven vs. Kanyon

Four corners match here and you have to tag. Raven and Saturn start but Raven tags in Horace before there’s any contact. Horace takes Saturn down with a quick slam and sends him into the corner, only to have Saturn come back with kicks to the head and an elbow to the jaw to take over. Saturn blasts Kanyon in the face for a tag and it’s Kanyon firing off forearms to keep the big man Horace in trouble. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Kanyon and it’s Raven’s turn to get a piece of Horace.

Raven immediately tries to boss Horace around but goes to the eyes when that fails miserably. Horace fights back but gets tagged by Kanyon, only to have Horace help Raven put Kanyon down. Raven works over Kanyon with a knee lift before bringing Horace back in for a slam. It’s quickly back to Raven for three straight Russian legsweeps before he brings in Saturn for the first time. A big belly to belly suplex puts Kanyon down again and it’s off to Horace who walks into a suplex from Kanyon. This is moving faster than it sounds.

Horace comes right back with a splash for two but is tired of the wrestling and gets the stop sign. He misses Saturn and hits Raven in the head though to put Raven and Kanyon down. Both guys crawl over to Saturn but he won’t tag. Instead he smacks Kanyon in the face for a tag and beats on Raven like he stole something.

A pair of belly to belly suplexes sets up a top rope splash for two before hitting Kanyon in the face again for a tag. Kanyon picks up Saturn and throws him on Raven to get himself a two count but walks into a t-bone suplex from Saturn for two. The Flatliner gets two on Horace but the goons pull Kanyon to the floor. Saturn joins in the fight, allowing Raven to DDT Horace for the pin.

Rating: B-. Wild but fun match here with everyone getting to show off a bit. It’s nice to see someone getting elevated out of this story, even if there’s no end in sight. Raven getting a win is nice for a change as Saturn has been dominating the feud for a good while now. Best match on Thunder in awhile.

Giant promises to close the gap, and he doesn’t mean the one between Stevie Ray’s teeth.

Steve McMichael vs. Curt Hennig

Tony actually has some insight for us: if one man wins WarGames and gets a title shot as a result, what’s the point of having teams? Hennig is tossed around and out to the floor to start before going after the knee back inside. Mongo gets tired of selling and beats Curt up some more before laying him out with a neckbreaker. A pair of shoulder blocks look to set up the tombstone but Rude hits Mongo in the back with a chair, drawing out Dean Malenko for the DQ. Thankfully this was short.

Mongo and Malenko get beaten down with ease.

The Giant vs. Stevie Ray

Giant is in street clothes for some reason. He taunts Stevie to start so Stevie kicks him in the face (nice looking one too) and Giant goes down. This brings in Hall to jump Stevie, but the bell doesn’t ring until Giant picks Stevie up for the chokeslam.

The Black and White surround Stevie before a Warrior montage takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. Let’s see: the show sucks without the star power, but the star power isn’t interesting either. Is it any wonder why the company was on its very last legs as far as being competitive? The main event and the main story of this show makes my head spin. With all of the talented people on the roster, they pick STEVIE RAY to push? I mean it’s not like it matters because he’s getting beaten down by the NWO so he’ll join them before the month is out, but why is this not Jericho or even Eddie? The rest of the show, save for the fourway, wasn’t interesting at all.

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Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,525
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

A good deal has changed since last year as we have Sid as world champion, defending his title against Shawn. Michaels had been champion for most of 96 before getting burned out badly and losing the title at the Survivor Series. On top of that though, WCW is MASSACRING the WWF right now with the NWO completely dominating the wrestling world. I believe this is the second biggest non-Wrestlemania PPV crowd ever for the company. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Shawn of course. Expect to hear that name a lot tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. HHH

HHH is defending and the idea here is pretty simple: HHH hit on Marlena and Goldie is standing up for her. He has Mr. Hughes as a bodyguard here which didn’t last long at all. This was also just after Goldust said he wasn’t gay, which got them out of some hot water with some gay rights groups. You know, because it’s ok to hate someone as long as you don’t hate them for being gay. HHH still has the Ode to Joy song here which is an awesome theme song.

Goldie takes him down in the aisle before the bell rings and the beating is on. We get a bell as HHH is dropped throat first onto the barricade. Goldust pounds away in the corner but HHH comes out with an atomic drop to counter. Helmsley’s offense lasts about eight seconds as Goldust catapults him to the floor. Goldie drops the steps on his back which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason.

A guillotine slows Goldust down and apparently two fans who have sat in the Alamodome for weeks for the show have been thrown out. Gee, I wonder if Super Shawn can help them out. An uppercut gets two on HHH and Goldust laughs a lot before being knocked to the floor. HHH goes up top (!) and dives down onto Goldust to send him into the barricade. The jumping knee misses Goldust though and HHH hits the steel to change momentum again.

Back in and Goldust works on the knee rather slowly. HHH counters a leg lock with a kick to the face but he’s quickly caught in the Figure Four. Goldust hits a clothesline on the floor and rubs himself a bit. There’s a knee crusher onto the steps as somehow it’s STILL not a DQ. They head back in and Goldust misses a cross body to send him out to the floor. HHH goes for the wooden director’s chair…and let’s go to Todd Petingil for an interview with some country singer.

HHH hits the jumping knee for two but hurts his own leg in the process. Goldust lariats him down but gets crotched on the top for his efforts. After shoving HHH off, Goldust misses a top rope elbow and the title is thrown in. HHH kisses Marlena but gets blasted by the belt for two. A Hughes distraction is enough for HHH to hit the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. This was too long in this spot in front of a crowd this size. It ran over sixteen minutes, which is way too long for two guys that didn’t mean much to most of the fans. This era wasn’t kind to the midcard guys, as they weren’t ready for spots like this but they were the only options the company had. It took a good while to get over that hump, but once it did, they never looked back.

Bret whines about being a marked man tonight. You could feel the heel turn coming and it was going to be glorious.

Mankind, another newcomer, is ready for the Rumble but he wants to hurt people instead of go to Wrestlemania.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

The idea here is a basic revenge match, but Ahmed was out with an injury for so long that the heat is gone. Naturally this would keep going for about seven months because why not? This was during the original Nation period, when actors were hired to make the Nation look larger. That’s a brilliant idea actually. Johnson charges the ring and the beating is on quickly.

Ahmed pounds away in the corner until the referee calls him off. We head to the floor for a few seconds with Faarooq just trying to survive the opening part of the match. Things finally slow down a bit but it’s just so Ahmed can get a belt and whip Faarooq a bit. We head to the floor again and both guys are rammed into the steps. Faarooq slams him onto a chair and Johnson’s kidney injuries flare up again.

Back in and Johnson has his back worked over and Faarooq hooks a camel clutch. Johnson comes back with an electric chair drop but can’t follow up on it. Faarooq goes up but jumps into a powerslam. Johnson returns the favor and jumps into a spinebuster as his back is falling apart very quickly. Faarooq runs his mouth too long though and there’s another spinebuster by Ahmed, but the Nation comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but the crowd continues to be dead. The idea here was supposed to be revenge but that only takes you so far when the incident that started the whole thing happened months ago. This wasn’t a great power match either, making this kind of a hard one to get into. Ahmed was pretty awesome before his injuries though.

Post match Ahmed chases off the Nation and powerbombs a member through the announce table.

Terry Funk says he’ll win the Rumble because he’s from Texas and born to Rumble.

Faarooq yells at the Nation actors for bailing on him. He says this is just beginning.

Undertaker vs. Vader

This is a feud that went on for a few months because they were a good pairing for each other. Taker avoids a charge to start and pounds away on the big man. Scratch that, make it on the shorter and wider man. Vader comes back with his standing body attack and a second one to take Undertaker down. It doesn’t keep him down of course so Vader hits the floor. Taker jumps off the apron with an ax handle and they brawl slowly. Vader literally has his hands on his hips while Taker uppercuts him.

Vader hits a Stunner on the apron to snap Taker on the rope before heading back in. A Fameasser of all things puts Vader down as does a slam. The followup legdrop gets two (BROTHER!) but Vader crotches him to counter Old School. Vader hits Taker low so let’s go talk to a fan in the audience. Seriously. We hear about her saving up her money and following Shawn Michaels everywhere she goes. Your PPV dollars at work people!

Vader clotheslines Taker down twice, one of which being from the middle rope for two. We hit the nerve hold but Taker fights up with his rapid fire punches. A belly to back suplex puts Vader down but Taker’s elbow misses. The masked man goes up but dives into a powerslam ala Starrcade 92 vs. Sting, but it doesn’t even get a cover here. Vader powerbombs Taker down for two and the Dead Man sits up.

There’s the big jumping clothesline and this time Old School hits, but here comes Paul Bearer. Taker chokeslams Vader down but spots Bearer instead of following up. Paul is thrown into the ring and punched a lot before Taker clotheslines Vader to the floor. Taker tries a kind of Poetry in Motion dive against the railing but Bearer makes the save, pulling Vader away. Bearer blasts Taker with the Urn, allowing Vader to hit the Vader Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but again it ran too long. This was about setting up Bearer as Vader’s new manager which didn’t last long unless I’m completely forgetting something. Taker looked ok here, but his power stuff looks a lot better on smaller guys as he can’t throw Vader around all that well. Still though, not horrible.

Taker is all ticked off and beats up the referee as a result. He yells at Vince too but we can’t hear most of what he’s saying.

Austin says he isn’t talking to anyone until he wins the Rumble.

British Bulldog says he’s going to win the Rumble because he’s bizarre. Ok then.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Take six guys, throw them in the ring for ten minutes to pop the crowd. I just hope I can remember which is which. Metal vs. Garza to start. Ok so Metal is in the yellow and black tights. Got it. They speed things up to stat before quickly hitting the mat. Off to Aguayo vs. Estrada who is in the white tassels. Perro chops Jerry down and backdrops him out to the floor.

Off to Canek vs. Guerrera who are the two masked guys. That makes things a lot easier to keep track of if nothing else. Canek hits a quick cross body out of the corner as the crowd continues to be dead here. Guerrera goes up but misses a Swanton, allowing Canek to hit a top rope cross body for two. Off to Metal vs. Garza again as things are STILL slow. That goes nowhere so here’s Canek vs. Estrada. Canek throws him around for a bit before it’s time for Guerrera to beat up Aguayo.

Aguayo armdrags Guerrera down and sends him to the floor for a bit. It should be noted that Perro is 51 years old so seeing him running and trying to dive is rather odd to see. Canek works on Metal’s leg, followed by a slingshot splash onto it by Garza. Heavy Metal gets an opening but won’t tag, so instead he ducks a bad looking kick from Canek as they stagger around a bit more.

Everything breaks down as even Vince sounds bored. Let me repeat that. VINCE MCMAHON sounds bored by a match. Garza finally does something interesting by hitting his corkscrew plancha on Estrada. The double stomp on Metal gets the pin for Aguayo and the crowd pops for the pin, likely because it’s finally over.

Rating: D. Think about it like this: in this match, four guys were either in their 40s or a year away from it. When you’ve got Juventud Guerrera and Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio in the lucha matches in WCW blowing the roof off the place, it’s REALLY hard to get into something like this. Terribly dull match as they were mainly just looking old out there.

The attendance is announced and no one really cares.

Royal Rumble

There are 90 seconds intervals here which isn’t long enough but at least it’s not terrible like two years earlier. Finkel takes FOREVER to get through the entrances. Crush of the Nation of Domination is #1 and Ahmed Johnson is #2. Crush gets to jump Ahmed as he comes in and the beating is on quickly. Ahmed comes back with a clothesline and they brawl on the mat (read as roll around) for a bit. Fake Razor Ramon (bad parody that went nowhere and is remembered as being awful) is #3 as apparently the clock is messing up. Thankfully Razor is thrown out in about fifteen seconds.

Crush is thrown to the apron but Ahmed sees Faarrooq in the aisle. He eliminates himself and chases after Faarooq in a stupid bit. Phineas Godwinn is #4 as the clock speeds WAY up so we don’t have to look at people standing around. They have a really dull power brawl that goes nowhere and no one cares about at all. Austin is #5 and this HAS TO pick things up a bit. Phineas jumps him as soon as he gets in before Austin and Crush double team him. A clothesline misses Phineas though and Crush is dumped.

Austin dumps Phineas as well and is alone in the ring to face Bart Gunn at #6. Bart gets in some offense but is gone in about thirty seconds. Austin sits on the ropes until Jake Roberts is #7. The music sounds really different in the big stadium setting. Jake pounds away and works on the arm a bit and hits the short clothesline, but Austin backdrops him out to counter the DDT.

British Bulldog is #8 and immediately takes Austin down. This is part of the Border War which is coming very soon and just like Jake, Smith dominates early on. There’s a slightly different version of the powerslam and Austin is in big trouble. Pierroth from AAA (Mexican company which has supplied all of the luchadores tonight) is #9 and goes right after Bulldog. Apparently he’s a big time heel so people don’t cheer. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the hour and a half of boring wrestling right?

The Sultan (Rikishi) is #10 as the ring is finally getting a crowd going in there. Sultan and Pierroth fight on the ropes as Austin is sent to the apron. Pierroth tries to slam Sultan like an idiot as the match continues to be dull. Mil Mascaras, Mexican legend, is #11. He FINALLY gets a reaction as he beats up on Sultan a bit. Sultan belly to bellies him down and we get some of the legendary no selling from Mascaras. HHH is #12 and there goes Sultan via Bulldog.

We’ve got Austin, Bulldog, Pierroth, HHH and Mascaras in the ring now. Austin hits a middle rope elbow on HHH as Owen Hart (tag team champions with Bulldog at this point) is #13. Austin has to fight both of them off and Bulldog goes out due to an accidental shot from Owen. They were having big problems around this point and it would take the Hart Foundation forming to mend the issues. Goldust is #14 and goes right for Austin instead of HHH, the guy he hates.

Mascaras gets Owen to the apron but can’t get him out. Everyone gangs up on Goldust for no apparent reason and Cibernetico is #15. He goes right for Mascaras and beats the tar out of him. HHH stays on the apron as Marc Mero is #16. Cibernetico is out before Mero gets into the ring and Mascaras puts Pierroth out, before diving off the top to the floor to eliminate himself. Goldust clotheslines HHH out and we’ve got Mero, Austin, Owen and Goldust in the ring at the moment.

Latin Lover, another luchador, is #17. Things are still dull here but at least they’re moving a bit faster. Goldust is eliminated by Owen and Faarooq is #18. He almost immediately puts Lover out and gets in a BIG slugout with Austin. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long as Johnson runs in with a 2×4 to knock Faarooq out. Austin dumps Owen and Mero, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, an old rival of Austin, is #19 and doesn’t even make it thirty seconds, although he does hit a good spinwheel kick while he’s in there.

Jesse James (Road Dogg) is #20 and he does quite a bit better than Vega, making it a full 45 seconds before Austin puts him out. Austin is all like GET ME ANOTHER ONE and tells the crowd what they can do to themselves. The clock runs out, and BRET HART walks through that curtain at #21. The look on Austin’s face is absolutely amazing as he is TERRIFIED.

However, there’s something very important that happens next. Austin is scared for a minute, but then gets in the middle of the ring and says BRING IT ON. He’s been out there a long time now and is ready to go still, facing his arch rival who is totally fresh. Austin doesn’t back down, he doesn’t run, he doesn’t cheat. That’s because Austin was a different kind of heel than you see today. Instead of running or finding a way out, he fought with his fists and took a beating like a man. Today it’s all about the cowardly heels and that drives me crazy. Once in awhile is fine but give us somebody with a backbone once in awhile.

They go right at it with Bret getting the better of a tired Austin. He hits a quick atomic drop and a clothesline before stomping away in the corner. There’s the Sharpshooter but we need a #22, so here’s commentator Jerry Lawler. In a hilarious bit, Jerry says “It takes a King….”, then he gets in, gets punched twice by Bret for an elimination, and comes back to commentary and says “to know a King.”

Bret stays on Austin and hits a backbreaker as Fake Diesel (you know him better as Kane) is #23. The good thing here is that Kane actually looks like Diesel from about ten feet away and is nearly identical from behind. Razor looked like a bad Halloween costume. Diesel goes after Hart before slowing down to let Austin do the work. Terry Funk is #24 to give us a very strong lineup in there at the moment. Funk is sent to the apron but Hart makes a save, earning him a punch to the ribs from Terry.

Rocky Maivia is #25 to give us perhaps the best five man lineup ever in the Rumble at any given time. That’s not an exaggeration either. Rocky hooks up with Austin and Diesel but gets kicked in his face for the efforts. The lineup stays strong with Mankind at #26. He immediately throws Funk to the apron as everyone pairs off. Hart gets suplexed by Austin as Rock and Diesel fight in the corner.

There’s a sleeper by Hart to Austin, which makes you wonder why you would EVER put yourself in that position against Austin? A jawbreaker breaks the hold as Flash Funk (2 Cold Scorpio) is #27. Not quite on the level of everyone else but he’s a personal favorite. Terry piledrives Mankind into the ground before Flash dives on Diesel and Terry. Vader is #28 to give us another power guy and he goes right for Bret.

Vader pounds Flash down so Austin goes right after the big man. That would be Vader in case you’re confused. In a funny bit, Lawler keeps implying he’s never been in the match. Henry Godwinn is #29 to drop the talent level a good bit. The ring is filling up now. Rocky gets sent to the apron and Undertaker is #30. The star studded final group: Austin, Bret, Fake Diesel, Terry Funk, Rocky, Mankind, Flash Funk, Vader, Henry Godwinn, Undertaker. That’s REALLY good and I can’t think of any Rumble coming closer to perfect than that.

Taker goes right after Vader but stops to punch Mankind too. There’s a chokeslam for Austin and one for Vader as well. Taker pounds on Diesel in a sign of what is to come later in the year. Vader throws Flash out as Godwinn hammers on Taker. Funk almost puts Hart out but Austin makes the save for no apparent reason. Godwinn pounds on Taker some more, so Taker easily throws him out by the throat.

The final eight: Rock, Austin, Hart, Kane, Undertaker, Terry Funk, Mankind, Vader. How is THAT for a talent pool? Taker throws Austin to the apron before Mankind puts the Claw on Rocky to eliminate him. He was just a rookie at this point so being in there this late was a big accomplishment for him. Mankind and Funk beat on each other because that’s what they love to do. They fight to the apron and Mankind gets Funk out.

Taker sends Mankind out a second later to get us down to five. Vader beats on Taker as Austin does the same to Diesel. Bret throws Austin out to a HUGE pop but the referees were breaking up a fight between Mankind and Funk. Austin slides back in, dumps Vader and Taker, then dumps Bret who just eliminated Diesel, and Austin wins the Rumble!

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going, but once Bret’s music hit, it’s REALLY good. The problem is that’s 2/3 of the way into the match and the stuff before that is just terrible. It’s a who’s who of jobbers and no names which isn’t interesting at all. This was the night Austin was launched into superstardom and he did it with a bigger catapult than almost anyone else ever. Amazing last twenty five minutes, but the first twenty five or so are absolutely dreadful.

Bret goes nuts on the announcers post match, shouting conspiracy and injustice. Oh I need to get to 1997 Raw. It’s AMAZING when it gets rolling.

We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Sid won the title at Survivor Series and this is the rematch. Sid was on a legit roll at this point, having pinned Shawn and Bret in back to back matches. Shawn is bordering on a massive heel turn here but Sid isn’t quite ready to be a face, which likely has a lot to do with Taker being moved to the main event. Sid has been tormenting the son of Shawn’s mentor Jose Lothario to set this up.

Shawn has the flu and looks horrible in his pre match promo. Not much to say here either. This would wind up being Lothario’s last match in Shawn’s corner.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Shawn gets by far and away the pop of the night as the hometown boy. I love Sid’s name in lights pyro entrance. Shawn is shoved down to start until Sid pounds away. Michaels comes back with a cross body and rams Sid’s head into the mat, drawing the longest reaction of the night. Sid heads to the floor for a breather and lays on the mats. Shawn goes after him and is about to be gorilla pressed but he rakes Sid’s eyes to escape.

Back in and Shawn jumps into a powerslam followed by a camel clutch. Sid drops down onto the back and Shawn is in trouble. Shawn avoids the second drop down but Sid comes right back, sending Shawn into the corner for the Flair Flip. Back to the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two. Off to a bearhug which eats up several minutes. Shawn’s parents are concerned. Shawn breaks the hold with an atomic drop but the hold goes right back on. A legdrop gets two for Sid and the champ isn’t getting frustrated at all.

We hit the reverse chinlock again but Shawn fights up with right hands. He slams Sid down and hits the forearm to set up the nip-up. The top rope elbow hits but Shawn is knocked to the floor before the superkick can hit. Shawn gets powerbombed on the floor so Sid grabs both Lotharios. That goes nowhere so Shawn pounds away even more. Dang he popped up fast after that powerbomb.

The referee gets bumped and there’s the chokeslam for two from a second referee. Sid shoves the second referee down and Shawn hits Sid with the camera, which is what Sid did to win the title in the first place. That only gets two though (Lawler: “WOO HOO!”) but Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the title back.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. There was zero chance Shawn was losing here and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. He got by far and away the biggest reactions all night long and it’s as basic of a story as you could ask for. Decent match, especially considering how sick Shawn was. Sid did really well here too, doing exactly what he was supposed to but making it look good.

Shawn celebrates for a LONG time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show has a solid last forty minutes, but it’s a three hour show, not an hour long show. The year of 1997 was about as bad as it could have gotten for WWF from a business standpoint, but the future was bright. The main thing I want to focus on here though is Austin, as today you would see him get the world title at Mania 13, whereas here they let him simmer for a year. That’s smart business, because while he would have been a successful champion, he wouldn’t have been the juggernaut that he became. Anyway this show was bad, but it does have some bright spots.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ahmed Johnson vs. Farrooq

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

That overall rating surprised me. How could I go that high after nearly the same grades leading up to it?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re in the Monday Night Wars era now and it’s all about Shawn at the moment. He’s back from injury and in the Rumble tonight, looking to become the second person ever to win back to back Rumbles. Other than that we’ve got Bret vs. Undertaker which is another of those matches that can be hit or miss. It’s hard to say what we’ll get here….well not really because I’ve seen this show a bunch of times. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The IC Title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Last month at IYH, Jarrett hit Johnson with a gold record to set this up. Johnson is basically Ezekiel Jackson with a bit of skill and charisma. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed is like boy are you stupid or something? A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two for Ahmed and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.

A cross body misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a FREAKING SWANTON (remember that he weighs like 280) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Mania, but he isn’t happy with Taker being the #1 contender.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly, giving us a nice upskirt shot in the process.

Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Donnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Donnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.

Hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the Donnas load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Donnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.

We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.

We recap Razor vs. Goldust, where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept VERY short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Horowitz, Vader and Shawn. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1, having lost a match on the Free for All to Duke Droese, who won the right to be #30. Henry Godwinn is #2 and I believe he’s feuding with HHH at this point. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. The intervals are back to two minutes this year thank goodness. Trips pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.

Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to the face of Godwinn. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.

We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an ERUPTION. No one is eliminated yet. Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.

The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chickenwing and is eliminated by Yoko for a prize. Yoko crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yoko, killing Henry in the process.

The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor wasn’t in more Rumbles. Come to think of it….he was NEVER in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Godwinn, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, the Kid and Omori in the match.

Wait where is Godwinn? I guess he went out off camera. Yoko and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yoko to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yoko to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yoko and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.

The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yoko is on one side of the ring for some reason. Vader and Yoko double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yoko.

Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yoko slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.

Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn thrown Jim Cornette, Vader’s manager, out. Hakushi hits a Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.

Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jock strap over his face) is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.

Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly (why is he still in this?) in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin who is brand new here) is #24. He’s in white boots which is a really strange thing to see for him.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and LAUNCHES him to the floor. The Game made it about 48 minutes which isn’t bad at all. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu (don’t ask. PLEASE don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (Kane) at #27. The ring is WAY too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match. Shawn hangs on AGAIN though and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.

Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu GOES OFF on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a MUCH weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s FAR better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

Oh yeah we’ve got a thirty minute match left to go.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and Taker is still in his skull mask period. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Taker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the world champion. Taker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and Taker stares at him.

Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner which is one of my favorite of his moves. He chokes Bret in the air and moves very slowly. Off to a smother hold which goes on for a LONG time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Bret fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Taker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.

Bret tries to dive off the apron at Taker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Taker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage Taker’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Taker turns it over.

Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Taker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, Taker smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Taker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.

The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Taker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. Dear goodness get this over with already. We’re over twenty minutes into this and NOTHING has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Taker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as Taker’s knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Taker on the ropes.

A DDT puts Taker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but Taker sits up. The bulldog takes Taker down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.

Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Taker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ.

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Taker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Taker can’t interfere.

Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

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Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.

Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.

Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.

We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.

This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.

The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.

After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.

That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.

Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.

Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.

Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.

We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.

Royal Rumble

Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.

That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.

He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.

We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.

Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.

Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.

Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.

Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.

Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.

There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.

For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.

Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?

Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.

The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.

Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: B

Redo: C+

Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Original: A+

Redo: B-

Razor Ramon vs. IRS

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Original: F

Redo: F

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/13/royal-rumble-count-up-1994/

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