Monday Nitro #148
Date: August 3, 1998
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,697
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Road Wild and up to this point there are only a few matches announced. One of the matches that hasn’t been officially announced yet is the main event, which presents even more problems for the mess that WCW is in at the moment. The Leno match will draw money, but you need a lot more than five days to promote a match like that. On top of that, we still don’t have a match for Goldberg and the potential battle royal between the NWO camps has only been mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Goldberg’s HUGE 20 second speech and run-in to close out the show last week, only to see him get chokeslammed by Giant.

Opening sequence.

Nitro Girls.

Heenan is on commentary to start things off for some reason. Apparently Larry is in a meeting with Time Warner executives.

We get a clip from the Tonight Show on Wednesday with Hogan and Bischoff taking over. Page and security chased them off a few seconds later and Leno/Page vs. Hogan/Bischoff is official for the PPV. Publicity on NBC is a great thing, but having it announced a week or so earlier would have helped a lot.

Here’s DDP with something to say. He had to twist Leno’s arm a little bit but Jay will be in the ring in Strugis. There won’t be anything left of Scum Hogan and Sleazy E after Road Wild because Leno will clean house with Bischoff.

Barbarian vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Apparently Barbarian came out here for a match with an unnamed opponent but Jimmy Hart issues a challenge. Page starts with a swinging neckbreaker and a hiptoss but Barbarian slips away from the Diamond Cutter. Jimmy distracts the referee and Barbarian gets in a low blow to take over. Page comes back from some choking in the corner with rights and lefts, only to have Barbarian pound him down again. A clothesline drops Barbie but he shoves the Cutter away again. He blocks it a third time but Page finally pulls him down for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but the ending was a nice idea for a change. I kind of like someone just shoving Page off instead of going down, especially when it’s someone you would expect to get pinned in a few seconds. This actually wasn’t a glorified squash, much to my surprise.

More fake Hogan on the Tonight Show.

Larry has taken Heenan’s place and talks about the meeting with Time Warner. Short version: nothing has changed at all.

We look at every major match last week as this seems to be another recap heavy show.

Travis Tritt Road Wild promo.

Another Tonight Show clip with Hogan and Bischoff coming out to yell at Leno for his jokes.

And now…..NWO Nightcap. You get the idea here: band, stupid jokes, Leno impressions, threat to Kevin Eubanks, Monica Lewinsky jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Monica Lewinsky and Jay Leno jokes. The guest is Hogan of course and we look at more Tonight Show clips of Hogan and Bischoff storming the set to yell at Leno. Kevin Eubanks came to his rescue but the NWO took over the show anyway.

Hogan calls that the shove that changed history and threatens Page a bit. NBC wants Hogan and Bischoff to take over the Tonight Show after Road Wild. We get even more trash talk as this just keeps going. They kept it short this week and only ate up 13 minutes. Remember that when you see who isn’t on the show tonight.

We look at Hogan shoving Leno again before we go to break.

To keep the trend going, here’s a video on Bret Hart.

Tokyo Magnum vs. Psychosis

This is supposed to be Psychosis vs. Disco Inferno but he swaps out for Tokyo instead. Psychosis is cool with that and stomps on Magnum in the corner but Scott Norton comes in to beat them both up after about 15 seconds.

Norton issues an open challenge to anyone in WCW for a fight later this evening. Hugh Morrus comes out to answer the challenge and gets powerbombed about four seconds later.

Another video from last week with Bret talking about his respect for Sting and refusing to fight him later in the night. The promo confirmed that Bret is officially not part of the NWO.

Hour #2 begins as I feel sorry for the crowd for the second week in a row.

Nitro Girls in gold.

Nitro Party Pack winner. They showed what the Party Pack for once and it appears to be a bunch of plates and napkins with the Nitro logo. That would certainly make me want to film a big party let me tell you.

Time for more Goldberg talking. Goldberg says Saturday is payback time for the Giant because the champ is going to enter the NWO battle royal. He’ll fight anyone to get to Giant, including Sting. That brings out Sting himself for a showdown but Giant and the Black and White show up on the stage. Goldberg runs through the goons and chases Giant off as Bret Hart walks out. Some papers have fallen from the ceiling, saying “Goldberg, you’re next!”

Back from a break with Sting in the back, looking over an unconscious Lex Luger. Sting leaves as soon as medics show up.

Brian Adams vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan slugs away and hits some bad looking clotheslines to send Adams to the floor. Back in and an ax handle to the chest puts Adams down again but he forearms Duggan in the head. We hit the chinlock on Duggan before he makes his comeback and crotches Adams on the ropes. Vincent comes in with the board and the distraction lets Adams piledrive Duggan down for the pin.

Rating: D-. When Brian Adams is the better worker you have in a match, you’re not having the most interesting outing in the world. Was Jim Duggan really popular enough to warrant getting this many TV appearances? At least he’s only jobbing and not out there taking away anyone’s heat.

Bret Hart comes out of the trainer’s room. He denies having anything to do with Luger being attacked before offering his services to Sting as a replacement partner in Luger’s place tonight.

Gene is on a motorcycle and talks about riding to Sturgis.

Video on Raven, talking about a lack of joy.

Here’s the Flock to say Sick Boy vs. Kanyon isn’t happening tonight because Kanyon is nowhere to be fine. Raven suggests that Kanyon has joined the Flock. If that’s the case, Saturn is in big trouble on Sunday. Raven breaks Lodi’s fingers for fun until Saturn makes the save. He helps Lodi up but Lodi shoves him away, earning a Death Valley Driver.

Bret Hart is caught in the back with Scott Hall.

More of Hogan shoving Leno.

More Nitro Girls.

There’s even MORE talking as we’re halfway through the show. This time it’s JJ Dillon who asks to speak to Dean Malenko. Dean says the loss last week was last week and he’s not going to cry about it. Jericho was the better man last week and if he was here, Dean would tell him to his face. Now a good heel would be out there immediately to make Dean say that to his face.

Thankfully for us, Jericho is an awesome heel so here he is to gloat in person. Jericho goes on a rant about how he was unstoppable last week and says Malenko will never get to face him again. Dean says that’s not entirely true. JoJo says that since Jericho has a history of cheating, there will be a guest referee. Jericho somehow doesn’t see it coming and says he doesn’t care. The referee of course: Dean Malenko.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera

The announcers talk about Sting leaving the building at some point in the last half hour and Heenan sounds BOMBED. Juvy offers a handshake to start but gets slapped in the face instead. Guerrera doesn’t take kindly to that and dropkicks Eddie in the chest. Jericho vs. Guerrera for the Cruiserweight Title is official for Road Wild due to Eddie costing Juvy a title shot over the weekend. That took WCW about 10 seconds to explain and also gives us a reason for this match. Why is that so hard for modern wrestling companies to do?

Juvy blocks a superplex attempt and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to send Eddie outside. A suicide dive sends Eddie into the barricade. The drunk Heenan gets in a good line about David Letterman betting against Leno at the PPV. Back in and Juvy’s charge in the corner sends him into the buckle but he counters a powerbomb into a DDT for two. Guerrera’s straps come down but Eddie counters the Juvy Driver into a shoulder breaker, setting up the Frog Splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was nice to see an actual wrestling match on this show but the booking makes me shake my head. Who in the world thought that Eddie, who isn’t even on the PPV this weekend, needed a clean win over a guy getting a title shot? That’s modern WWE style booking and it’s just stupid. Tenay pointing out that Guerrera’s momentum is all gone now doesn’t help.

MORE Tonight Show stuff.

Gene is on his motorcycle again.

TV Title: Stevie Ray vs. Lizmark Jr.

Lizmark comes out to what I believe became Norman Smiley’s music. This week Stevie has a notarized statement making him the official TV Champion. Gene sees nothing official on it but Stevie insists. In some comedy you couldn’t make up if you tried, Tony says you can’t fool WCW commentators.

Total squash here with Stevie knocking Lizmark around like the cruiserweight jobber he is. A kick to the chest sends Lizmark into the barricade and a World’s Strongest Slam puts him down again. Stevie loads up the Slap Jack but here’s Chavo with a fake notary stamp. Chavo thinks he can make his own marriage license now and Stevie chases him off for the countout. The fans spent most of the match shouting about how much this match sucked and how bored they were, which is a completely acceptable feeling at this point in the show.

Travis Tritt ad.

Hour #3 begins.

Curt Hennig vs. Konnan

There’s a new Wolfpack shirt with a red wolf’s head on the front. I wanted one of those so bad when I was a kid. Hennig tries to jump Konnan to start but Konnan hiptosses him and clotheslines Hennig to the floor. Scott Norton distracts the referee so Hennig can get in a cheap shot to take over but Konnan hits another hard clothesline to take over again. A basement dropkick and an X Factor set up the Tequila Sunrise but a Norton distraction breaks it up. Hennig chokes Konnan with his singlet straps and the PerfectPlex gets the pin. Another short match.

Nash comes out to chase off the Black and White post match.

More Tonight Show stuff.

Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Non-title. Jericho gets in a cheap shot to start but Rey comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send him outside. A flipping seated senton takes Jericho down again and we take a break. Back with Mysterio hitting what looked like a moonsault press for two. Jericho catches a springboard cross body and puts Mysterio down with a shoulder breaker. Mysterio rolls to the floor and gets dropkicked into the barricade.

Back in and Rey suplexes Jericho down in the closest thing you’ll ever see to a power display from Mysterio. Chris comes right back with a bizarre looking submission hold which can best be described as an Octopus Hold but from his back. Rey makes the rope but gets clotheslined down yet again. Jericho launches him into the corner but Rey lands on the middle ropes and headscissors Jericho down for two. A springboard split legged moonsault gets the same but Jericho hits a quick bulldog to get a breather.

Jericho tries his springboard cross body to the apron but crashes to the floor instead. Rey hurricanranas Jericho back inside but gets caught in a butterfly backbreaker. Mysterio gets back up again and tries a springboard move, only to have Jericho pull the referee in the way. Rey can’t stop his momentum and hits something like a seated senton on Mark Curtis. Jericho powerbombs Rey down and loads up the Liontamer but Rey counters into a rollup. There’s no referee but Dean Malenko runs out to count the pin.

Rating: B. I really liked this match even though it was a different style than I was expecting. It’s an impressive feat when you can have two guys work a match the opposite way than they usually would and still get something this entertaining. The ending ties things in to Saturday’s match and gave us an entertaining match at the same time. You can’t ask for more than that.

Same Tonight Show package for I think the third time tonight.

Nitro Girls.

We look back at Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner talking about Buff’s injuries last week and JJ Dillon making the battle of the Steiners for Road Wild.

Here’s Scott Steiner with something to say. He talks about having black and white blood in his veins but something has changed his thinking. On Monday he got a phone call from his mom, telling him that the blood in his body is the same as his brother’s. Scott takes off the NWO shirt and says he quits. He asks Rick to come out here for an apology and the announcers think this is a nice moment. Instead here’s Buff Bagwell in a Rick Steiner costume and acting like a dog. But I thought you couldn’t fool WCW announcers. Anyway Scott makes fun of Rick until the real Rick comes out and WACKS Scott with a chair.

Tonight Show clip, literally for the tenth time tonight.

Road Wild ad.

Nitro Girls again.

Tony promises a bonus Travis Tritt concert if you buy the show, meaning the PPV will be longer than usual.

The Black and White corner Kimberly before she can get out of the ring and say she looks good for trailer trash. Kimberly slaps Eric and here’s DDP for the save but the numbers are too much for him. A long beatdown ensues with Bischoff talking trash and making sexual jokes about Kimberly. The Goldberg chants get no response as this just keeps going. A chokeslam leaves Page laying.

The announcers go into serious mode to talk about what we just saw before directly transitioning into plugging Travis Tritt’s new CD.

We look at Goldberg’s challenge for the battle royal again and him calling out Sting.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/The Giant vs. Sting/Bret Hart

Hall and Giant are defending. For some reason Sting comes from the rafters to his old music with the white paint. Hart and Hall get us started in a Royal Rumble 1993 rematch. Feeling out process to start with Bret not really wanting to go after Hall. Eventually Bret cranks on the arm a bit before offering a tag to Sting but Sting’s arm doesn’t move from the ropes.

Sting tags himself in and hits a running clothesline and the bulldog but Hall bails to avoid the Scorpion. Back in and Hall scores with a clothesline to bring in Giant. A Russian legsweep drops Sting to give Hall a two count and a fallaway slam gets the same. Bret finally extends an arm for a tag as Sting shoves Hall into the corner, but the impact knocks Bret to the floor. Sting fights both champions off and ducks a bat shot from Hart which hits Hall, giving Sting the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. The match was your usual junk with no time to go anywhere for the most part. This would be another annoying example of two guys who don’t get along teaming together to win the titles even though it’s the same story almost every time. At least Hall and Giant lose the titles as they never quite fit as champions.

Bret takes the tag belts and leaves Sting to get destroyed. Goldberg comes out to end the show and there are no new champions due to the bat shot, even though the referee didn’t see it.

Overall Rating: D-. Literally the only reason this isn’t a failure is Jericho vs. Mysterio. This was another awful show and a good example of WCW’s biggest booking problem over the year: they kept putting the entire company on one match instead of spreading things around. If you don’t like the Leno match, there is no reason for you to buy the PPV at all. The battle royal was mentioned in the Goldberg promo and a one off line from Tony and that’s all.

It’s a stretch to call Road Wild a two match show but other than that there’s nothing there. The other problem: just like last month it’s for nothing but bragging rights. Hogan’s career doesn’t change at all either way and he still has showdowns with Page and Goldberg coming up, at least in theory. This was a horrible show as this all talk and almost no wrestling style gets harder and harder to sit through every week.

 

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Monday Nitro #119
Date: December 22, 1997
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,615
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Amazingly enough, we’re actually at the go home show for Starrcade. This is yet another three hour show which would become the norm soon after this. The wrestling on this episode means nothing at all, due to a certain segment at the end of the first hour which overshadows everything else we would see in the ring on this show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a paid announcement from the NWO. Actually it’s just Bischoff, who talks for several minutes about what he’s going to do to Larry at Starrcade. In short, he’s going to humiliate Zbyszko and take Nitro as a result. Well he certainly did humiliate Larry but not for the reasons Eric is talking about here.

Fit Finlay vs. Eddie Guerrero

Apparently this is the arena where Hall jumped the guard rail over a year and a half ago. The fans are all over Eddie to start as he begs for mercy. Guerrero pops up and kicks at Finlay’s knee to take him down. A slingshot hilo onto the leg has Finlay in big trouble early on. Actually scratch that as Finlay pops back up and pounds on Eddie without so much as a shake of the leg. Finlay drops Eddie throat first on the top rope before hitting a hard kick to the back for no cover.

Eddie is catapulted into the ropes so he can crash down onto Finlay’s knees before the Irishman pounds away with forearms in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Eddie down and Finlay rams Guerrero’s face into the side of the ring a few times. Back in and a hard boot to Eddie’s face puts him down but Eddie goes back to the knee which suddenly hurts again. A dropkick to the knee puts Finlay down again but goes up top, only to be caught and superplexed back down. Finlay loads up the tombstone but Eddie bails to the floor…and walks out for the countout.

Rating: C. Surprising lack of selling from Finlay aside, this wasn’t a bad match at all. The ending makes sense in a way as Eddie has a title defense on Sunday and wouldn’t want to waste his energy before then. Finlay was an interesting character as he would disappear for months on end before returning and getting a pretty big match like this out of nowhere.

Steve McMichael vs. Meng

Please….make it short. This is as a result of the match that didn’t happen last week. Mongo wins an early slugout and hits a corner clothesline. The slugout was so interesting the first time so let’s do it again a few seconds later. Meng tries a charge into the corner but eats a boot. However since he’s a savage and obeying ethnic stereotypes, it has no effect. A powerslam gets two on Mongo and a piledriver gets the same.

Meng goes up top for a splash but picks McMichael up at two. Dude, I watched you for like fifteen years and THIS is what I get in return? Mongo bails to the floor and finds the dreaded wooden chair. As usual it gets destroyed over Meng’s head (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to no effect (also as usual), so Mongo instead tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D. In a weird way, Mongo is fascinating to watch. He had been around for a year and a half at this point and is somehow getting worse over time. That’s really quite amazing given the talent he’s been in there against. I know Meng isn’t exactly Lou Thesz, but he’s a veteran who can get someone through a basic match. Mongo looked completely lost here though and it’s painful to sit through anymore.

Page talks about being ready for the title match with Hennig, where the champion will feel the bang.

La Parka/Silver King/Psychosis vs. Hector Garza/Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

The four man version worked so well last week that we get the traditional six man version this week. This is under lucha libre rules again, meaning if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. La Parka is in the alternate white attire tonight which really stands out in the ring. Garza and Silver King get us going and they immediately bust out the flips with almost no contact being made at all. Garza hits a spinning wristlock off the top to take King down but it’s off to Juvy for a big springboard missile dropkick.

Psychosis comes in and pounds Guerrera down as the match slows way down. He wants Rey Mysterio but instead we get Raven’s Flock arriving. Juvy speeds things up with a headscissors and an attempted reverse rana, only to land on the back of his head in a scary looking semi-botch. Psychosis misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first, allowing Guerrera to make the hot tag to Rey. Mysterio takes Psychosis out to the floor and sends La Parka into Silver King. La Parka comes back but missses a backsplash as everyone starts going up.

Rey cross bodies Silver King to the floor and La Parka dropkicks Psychosis to the floor for some reason. Juvy uses Garza as a springboard for Air Juvy to take Psychosis out again and there’s a suicide dive by La Parka to take out Juvy and break the chair he was sitting in. Why he was sitting in a chair I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter as Garza hits the corkscrew plancha to take out Psychosis and La Parka. Back in the ring and Rey puts Silver King on top for a reverse rana followed by the yet to be named West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s hard not to love these things as there’s no need for a story of any kind of psychology to them. They’re quick and exciting with six interchangeable guys going out there and doing all kinds of insane spots. WCW never tried to make these matches anything more than that and it would have been stupid to try. Fun stuff here, as always.

Mysterio seemed to hurt his left knee on the reverse rana and is holding it post match.

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Benoit’s run through the Flock continues but there’s no Raven again. Chris asks the rest of the Flock to get in the ring because Hammer is going to need all the help he can get. A quick dropkick to Hammer’s knee takes him down and Benoit chops away in the corner. Hammer is kicked to the floor and Benoit takes him down with a dive through the ropes. Benoit goes over and smacks Saturn in the head, allowing Hammer to take over with some sledges to the back. Hammer knocks him back to the floor but gets whipped into the apron. Benoit gets a chair and here comes the Flock for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but again this was about storytelling rather than the match. They’ve done a great job at setting up Benoit vs. Raven when it finally would happen, which for some reason wasn’t at Starrcade. Either way, this feud is making Benoit look like a star.

Post match Benoit is put in the Rings of Saturn again.

It’s time for the start of the infamous segment. Rude, Bagwell, Konnan and Vincent take over the announce table and run off the announcers. Bagwell then goes over to the cameramen and make them say they’re NWO and put on the shirts. The rest of the crew is made to put on the shirts too, including the guys in the back. Various WCW signs are taken down as Konnan goes into the production truck and makes everyone put on a shirt.

The big metal WCW letters on either side of the entrance are taken down, as is the WCW sign over the entrance. By the way, there is no resistance to this by any security or WCW wrestlers. To be fair though, I’d be terrified by a guy who can’t wrestle anymore, a career jobber, a low level tag team and Konnan. The commentary booth now has a sign that says NWO Monday Nitro. The fans are rapidly getting restless and it’s easy to see why. We’re at seven minutes of this already and now they’re heading to the ring.

Buff runs off the ring announcer and makes the WCW banners in the rafters NWO banners. We take a break and come back with the letters NWO spray painted on the mat. Rude demands and receives some lame fireworks as the NWO all stops to look at the NWO signs. A fairly big NWO sign is lowered from the ceiling as this has been going on nearly fifteen minutes now.

There’s an actual NWO Monday Nitro intro video and the graphic in the corner says NWO Monday Nitro. Good thing they had those graphics ready and loaded into the truck on a moment’s notice like that.

Here’s Bischoff on his motorcycle to FINALLY do something more than have the fans sit around and watch people do construction work. He brings out the entire NWO as this segment somehow keeps going. Even Nash and Hogan are here this week so you know it’s a big deal. Eric says tonight is Hogan’s night so he’s going to get some Christmas gifts.

First of all, Bischoff dedicates the show to Hogan and literally bows down to him. His first gift: NWO leaflets falling from the ceiling. Now he gets a motorcycle. Then he gets a second motorcycle. Then he gets a LONG open top limousine with built in hot tub and his own set of Nitro Girls. Bischoff promises even MORE gifts for him later because this hasn’t gone on long enough yet.

In total, all this stuff took about half an hour. Literally, it was half an hour of construction work and Hogan receiving gifts. No stories, no action, no matches, nothing. The viewers left in droves for this segment, to the point where Raw actually won the second hour because they were having ANYTHING but this going on.

JJ Dillon tells Rick Steiner he doesn’t have to go out there but Rick wants to.

The NWO sign is actually a big cube sitting in front of the entrance.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Bischoff, Nash and Rude have taken over commentary. Rick hits a quick Steiner Line but gets caught by a shoulder block to put him down. They quickly go to the floor with Steiner being rammed into the post and pounded down with CLUBBING, yes CLUBBING I SAY forearms to the back. Back in and they trade clotheslines with Steiner taking over and dropping an elbow. Rick puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex but they TOTALLY screw it up with Rick basically just falling down and Norton landing on top of him. Before they can screw anything else up, Konnan runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’m not sure whose fault that botch was but when a Steiner is having trouble with a suplex, it’s time to throw in the towel on the match. Norton continues to be a guy that WCW protects like no other and I’m still not sure why. I know he’s a bigger deal in Japan, but Jericho beat Chono on Nitro and I’m sure Chono is a bigger deal than Norton. Anyway, terrible match.

Post match Scott Steiner and Ray Traylor run out for the save, setting up a six man on Sunday.

Nash thinks Giant is going to retire and become a Nitro Girl instead of facing him on Sunday.

US Title: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Disco is challenging here but he’s TV Champion. Hogan’s limo and motorcycles are still in the aisle. The name graphics are now vertical on the side of the screen instead of horizontal on the bottom like they usually are. Curt runs him over a few times to start before hitting a pair of dropkicks to send Disco out to the floor. Hennig pounds away on the floor before throwing Disco back in to continue the beating. Disco fires off some right hands but charges into a boot in the corner. Hennig knees him in the head and rakes Disco’s eye and toys with him a bit more until the Hennigplex ends the torture.

Rating: D. Was there ANY need for this to be the TV Champion? Brad Armstrong wasn’t available tonight? Disco has been on a roll lately but instead of letting him continue that and make the TV Champion look good, we have to see Hennig pick him apart because Hennig is part of the NWO and therefore awesome.

Heenan comes out to being hour #3 by begging to be allowed back on the commentary booth. He sucks up to Nash and Bischoff and is allowed back in before Bischoff gets a headache.

Harlem Heat vs. Scotty Riggs/Lodi

Heenan is offering to buy Rude dinner to prevent pain and agony. They stand around for a long time to start until it’s Booker vs. Riggs. Mike Tenay joins in on commentary again to give us Bobby, Mike and Rick. Booker easily takes down Riggs and they trade wristlocks. Scotty takes him down with a dropkick to give the Flock its only advantage of the match, but Booker spin kicks him down with ease. Off to Stevie Ray who misses an elbow and it’s off to Lodi for the first time ever.

Ray immediately clotheslines him down as the punishment continues. A backbreaker keeps Lodi down and it’s off to Booker for the ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two before Stevie chokes with his knee. A bicycle kick gets two on Lodi as the Heat are barely breaking a sweat here. Stevie hits what would become known as the AA as Riggs walks out on his partner. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick from Booker instead of a clothesline) ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Unless you’re a big fan of Harlem Heat, there’s no need to see this match. It felt like they were intentionally filling in time with nothing special at all. Harlem Heat didn’t even have a match on the upcoming PPV yet they get a ten minute segment here to destroy a pair of jobbers? That doesn’t do much for me.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho immediately backdrops Bagwell to the apron and hits the springboard dropkick to knock Bagwell to the outside. A kick to the head has Buff in trouble but he manages to take down Jericho as the Canadian comes back in. Jericho is knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Bagwell taking over after a brief slugout so he can choke away a bit more. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and it’s time for the chinlock.

The announcers of course suck up to Bagwell because we have to make sure that every NWO guy on the team looks as amazing as they can. Jericho fights up and dropkicks Bagwell a few times before getting a near fall off a powerslam. Bagwell pounds him down again and goes up top, only to miss an elbow. Jericho tries a rana (I think) but they just collide and Jericho comes straight down instead of doing anything to Bagwell. After a double underhook backbreaker, Jericho looks for a superplex, only to be shoved down and hit with the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER lame match tonight with notable botches on moves that shouldn’t be that hard to pull off. Also another match here with a guy with nothing to do on Sunday and a guy in a match no one cares about on Sunday, but hey he’s in the NWO so we must be interested in him right?

Bagwell knocks out the referee for fun.

Here’s the NWO again because we need to give Hogan more presents. Bischoff gives him a ring (make your own jokes) shaped like the WCW Title and various posters to commemorate major moments in his career. That’s another six minutes I’ll never get back.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Savage comes in like a crazy man (perfect for the role) and gets beaten down as a result. A hard clothesline in the corner has Luger in control but he charges into Savage’s boot to put him down. Savage pounds away and chokes a lot before sending Luger to the floor. Luger goes face first into the steps but blocks a shot into the barricade.

Lex throws him into the crowd for a quick beating before we head back inside, where the referee is bumped by Luger’s steel forearm. Savage hides behind Liz as Luger makes his big comeback and of course here’s the NWO, led by Bagwell, for the big beatdown. The big elbow ends Luger in a worthless match.

Rating: D+. I’m trying to like some of these matches but they’re not making it easy on me. Luger and Savage fought on and over for years and the matches were only good once in awhile. The best I can make of this is they wanted Bagwell to cost Luger a match here to give Luger a reason to want to beat him on Sunday, again working on the assumption that anyone cares about Buff Bagwell.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff YET AGAIN to finally close things out. Hogan talks about how many people he’s beaten over the years and how Sting is going to be stung, but there’s another gift for Hollywood. Eric says this isn’t from him and here’s Bret Hart in the limo. Hogan opens the box to reveal….a Hogan head. Sting shows up on top of the NWO sign at the entrance and ziplines down to the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve seen a lot of dull go home shows before, but this one was absolutely horrible. This show barely promoted Starrcade at all and was all about the NWO taking over Nitro. I’ve read rumors before that the NWO was originally going to get Nitro but this show was such a ratings disaster that the plans were changed to WCW keeping it. That’s how big of a flop this show was, but I guess since so many people had already been sold on Starrcade that it didn’t make much of a difference.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/03/starrcade-1997-the-death-of-wcw/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

 

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In Your House #5: Seasons Beatings
Date: December 17, 1995
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,289
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

 

In addition to the main event, this is the first In Your House to feature the Undertaker on the pay per view (he had wrestled in several post PPV dark matches already). It’s rather interesting that one of the biggest and certainly most unique stars in the company hadn’t appeared in the first four editions of a PPV series and I’m not sure why he hadn’t. Anyway tonight he faces King Mabel in his signature match: the casket match. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video starts with various symbols of Christmas before transitioning to shots of the Hart Family splitting apart as well as the Bulldog pinning Bret Hart at Summerslam 1992 in a masterpiece.

 

Santa Claus is here handing out presents.

 

Jerry Lawler promises us a big surprise.

 

Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid

 

The Kid is full heel now and a part of the Million Dollar Team. Goldust rubs his chest while watching Razor come to the ring. Marty and the Kid start things off with Jannetty scoring with an enziguri for two. Some shoulder blocks and a clothesline get the same on the Kid and Marty goes over for the tag, freaking the Kid out. An atomic drop has Kid in trouble and now it’s off to Razor for the showdown. The Kid bails to the floor for a second but gets a toothpick in his face back inside.

 

Razor is having a good time but a blind tag brings in Sid to take over for the Million Dollar Team. Back to the Kid for a kick to the face but Razor glares at him after some chops. Sid comes back in to pound Ramon down and get cheered by the crowd in a surprising reaction. Razor comes back with some right hands and a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Marty to run over the Kid again and a powerslam is good for two.

 

A front flip facebuster out of the corner gets two on the Kid and it’s off to a camel clutch of all things. We go to Todd Petingill in the crowd with Goldust who quotes movie lines and expresses his lust for Ramon. This goes on for several minutes but at least we’re on split screen. Goldust asks Todd to give Razor a letter. Back to the match and Marty punches his way out of the corner but his cross body is caught in a powerslam for two.

 

Back to the Kid for a bad looking slam and a better looking guillotine legdrop for two before it’s back to Sid. Ramon gets suckered into the ring but gets in a right hand to the Kid. Marty is turned inside out by a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. Kid comes back in to drop a leg and then bring Sid back inside for some shots to the back.

 

It’s the Kid in again but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag off to Razor as things speed up. The fallaway slam puts Kid on the floor but Sid breaks up the Razor’s Edge. Not that it matters as Razor hits a quick middle rope bulldog (his finisher before he was in the WWF) for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match but it went on too long for what they were going for. Jannetty was an odd choice as Razor’s partner against DiBiase’s boys as he was basically fighting everyone himself, but it was all about the him vs. the Kid anyway. Nothing much to see here and not the best choice for an opening match.

 

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with a present for the returning Jeff Jarrett. After sucking up to Jeff for awhile, the present is opened to reveal a gold record of Ain’t I Great, Jeff’s single from six months earlier. Jarrett brags about how great he is and it doesn’t make anything more interesting. The only thing of note is he enters himself in the Royal Rumble.

 

Dean Douglas vs. Ahmed Johnson

 

Douglas says he has a back injury and can’t wrestle, so here’s his prized student Buddy Landell.

 

Buddy Landell vs. Ahmed Johnson

 

This is actually a joke, as Buddy Landell is a Ric Flair ripoff and comes to the ring to Flair’s WWF music in a Flair style robe. Douglas hates Flair in real life (never mentioned here of course), so it’s supposed to be funny that Douglas is Flair’s teacher or something like that. Not that it matters as Ahmed, a muscular monster with one of the most intimidating looks ever, destroys Landell and beats him with a Pearl River Plunge (double underhook powerbomb) in 32 seconds.

 

Post match Johnson paddles Douglas with the Board of Education. This would be Douglas’ last appearance. Lawler interviews Johnson and calls him stupid, allowing Jarrett to break the gold record over Johnson’s head. Jeff also gets in a few chair shots and rams Ahmed into the steps a couple of times, but Ahmed no sells them and chases Jarrett off.

 

Todd gives Razor the letter from Goldust and Ramon is disgusted, because it’s 1995 and anyone gay has to be a heel right?

 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

 

This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.

 

Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.

 

They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.

 

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?

 

Post match Henry slams Helmsley into the pen for fun. That’s a nice idea as at least the fans get the (limited) payoff.

 

We recap Diesel’s change of attitude since he lost the world title at Survivor Series, which has seen him act much more aggressive. This was what he should have been doing as champion.

 

Diesel vs. Owen Hart

 

This is a revenge match for Diesel as Owen kicked Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf as a result. Diesel launches Owen into the corner to start and hits a big side slam for no cover. The arena is full of smoke from Diesel’s entrance. Owen comes back with some right hands but Diesel easily throws him to the outside for a meeting with Cornette.

 

Back in and Owen scores with a missile dropkick before going after Diesel’s knee to take him down. A spinwheel kick gets two on Diesel but he easily kicks Hart away to break up a spinning toe hold. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Jackknife (“This is for you Shawn!”) but he takes his foot off Owen’s chest at two. The referee begs him to let it end so Diesel shoves him down for the DQ.

 

Rating: D+. The match was going along pretty well until the stupid ending. I understand that they’re trying to push Diesel as being more aggressive, but having him lose isn’t the way to go about doing that. This is Diesel’s third straight PPV loss which doesn’t make me think he’s a monster but rather a guy who can’t finish his opponents.

 

Here are Savio Vega and Santa Claus to hand out presents to the fans, but Ted DiBiase interrupts them. He says everyone has a price and calls them both into the ring. DiBiase doesn’t believe Santa can make it around the world in one night but he knows someone who can. Savio says he doesn’t have a price and says he believes in Santa.

 

However, this isn’t the real Santa. It’s really…..XANTA CLAUS, Santa’s evil brother from the south pole who steals presents from children. I wish I was making this up but I promise you it’s real. Xanta lays out Savio and leaves with DiBiase but Savio chases after them, only to get beaten up again. Vince: “SAY IT’S NOT SO!!!” Xanta is played by future ECW mainstay Balls Mahoney.

 

Mabel says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker, who has returned after having his face crushed by Mabel and Yokozuna. Tonight it’s a casket match, meaning you have to put your opponent in a casket and close the lid to win.

 

King Mabel vs. Undertaker

 

Mable now has a very stupid looking mohawk to go with his stupid looking gold and purple pajamas. He jumps Undertaker to start but Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts in the corner. Mabel takes him down with a Boss Man Slam but Undertaker pops right back up. A clothesline gets the same result but a slam keeps Undertaker down for a bit. Mabel goes up for a middle rope splash but Taker moves to avoid probably death. Instead a belly to belly and legdrop keep Undertaker down and there’s a splash for good measure.

 

Mabel and Sir Mo roll Taker into the casket but don’t shut the lid because they’re not that bright. Undertaker blocks the eventual lid closure as Mabel is dancing in the ring with his crown. Back in and Taker pounds away before kicking Mabel into the casket. Mo’s save is easily thwarted with a chokeslam and he gets thrown in as well. Undertaker takes back the necklace made from the Urn (don’t ask) and slams the lid shut for the win.

 

Rating: D+. This was about as perfect as you could get to end the Undertaker vs. Mabel feud but it doesn’t help that we had to sit through it for so many months. Thankfully Mabel was gone soon after this with his last notable appearance coming in January. Undertaker is a good force to have back in the company as he was probably the third most popular guy in the company at this point.

 

Post match Undertaker motions that he wants the WWF Title.

 

Jim Cornette walks us through Bret’s history with the Bulldog, who is married to Bret’s sister. Unlike in 1992 where the sister Diana was split on who to cheer for, she’s firmly in her husband’s corner tonight.

 

Bret says he’s making up for 1992 tonight.

 

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

 

The much stronger Bulldog shoves the champion into the corner to start but Bret grabs an armbar to take over. Davey flips around a lot but ultimately takes Bret down by the hair like a true villain should. Back to the armbar by Bret as we take a look at Cornette’s tennis racket cover which looks like Santa Claus’ face. Bret gets two off a cross body and goes right back to the arm. Smith comes back with another hair pull before tying Bret up in the Tree of Woe (hanging him upside down in the corner) to stomp away.

 

Off to the chinlock as the fans are solidly behind Bret. They soon get bored of cheering for him though and start chanting for the then upstart promotion ECW. Vince informs us that the Undertaker has challenged the winner of this match for the Royal Rumble. After a Cornette tennis racket shot we’re in the third chinlock less than ten minutes into the match before the required chest first bump into the buckle gets two on Hart.

 

A backdrop puts Bret down for two more and we hit the chinlock again. At least this time he makes it a headlock as the fans chant USA, in theory for the Canadian champion. Bret comes back with a monkey flip and a bulldog to the Bulldog for two. A piledriver lays Smith out for two more but Bulldog crotches Bret on the ropes to break up a superplex. Bret falls to the floor and the fans want a table. Instead they get the champion being sent into the steps as Bulldog is in control.

 

Smith sends him hard into the barricade and Bret is busted wide open. Back in and Bulldog piledrives Bret down for a near fall before pounding at the cut on the forehead. The delayed vertical suplex gets the same and there’s a gorilla press slam for good measure. Bulldog channels his former partner the Dynamite Kid with a headbutt to the back for two. Smith seems to have hurt his knee though so Bret tries a quick Sharpshooter, only to have Smith break it up just as easily.

 

A hard shoulder puts Bret onto the floor so Smith can try to get some feeling back into his knee. Bret counters a suplex back inside into a rollup for yet another near fall before a double clothesline puts both guys down. They’re quickly back up and a backdrop puts Smith on the floor. Bret is ticked off now and dives over the top to pound away on Smith even more. Davey will have none of that though and powerslams Bret down on the floor to suck the life out of the crowd.

 

The protective mats are peeled back but Bret blocks a suplex by crotching Davey on the barricade in a nice callback to earlier in the match. Bret clotheslines him off the barricade and heads back inside where a backbreaker gets two. Now the superplex connects for two and an O’Connor Roll gets the same. In a really sudden finish, Bulldog charges into a boot in the corner and Bret cradles him for the pin. The look on Diana’s face makes the ending even better as it almost says “HOW DARE YOU KEEP THE TITLE!”

 

Rating: B-. This got WAY better in the end but the first ten minutes or so of this were pretty dreadful. Also the ending didn’t do it any favors as I was expecting a callback to the Summerslam 1992 match but we didn’t get anything close to it. Still though, good match and by far the best thing we’ve had on one of these shows in the last two shows.

 

Paul Bearer (Undertaker’s odd manager) and Undertaker are pleased that they get a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Diesel comes in and says it’s his shot. The giants stare each other down to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: D+. While this isn’t a good show, it’s WAY better than the previous two entries in the series. Bret is just better as champion as he can work with almost any style and get a better match out of most people. The rest of the card was pretty horrible, but things would be changing quickly around here which is the best thing that could have happened for the WWF.

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Monday Nitro #147
Date: July 27, 1998
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 19,109
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Road Wild and nothing has been announced as of yet. It’s clear that Jay Leno is going to be involved in some way, even if the fans don’t seem that thrilled by the idea. Unfortunately that means we’re probably going to see another NWO talk show because wasting ten minutes of their only major TV show of the week on a segment to set up a match with a talk show host is fine in WCW. It may have made money at Road Wild, but it’s making for some very dull television. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Hall and Nash fighting last week which led to a Wolfpack vs. Black and White brawl, which led to Sting and Nash losing the tag titles to Hall/Giant. There’s also a clip of Bret beating DDP for the vacant US Title.

We get a voiceover (sounds like Scott Hudson) recapping last week, which is pretty much what we got in the first video.

Nitro Girls in white cowboy hats. I could get used to this.

Tony promises us something that will be among the biggest moments in the history of our sport: Goldberg is going to talk.

Here’s the Black and White minus Hogan, Bret and Bischoff, probably with a lot to say. The announcers are already talking about Jay Leno non-stop. Hall thinks Nitro being in San Antonio is just too sweet, much like the new tag team champions. He’s going to be sick if he has to keep hearing about Nash being upset, so how about we have a big NWO vs. NWO match at Road Wild?

Brian Adams tells the fans to shut up and recognize how awesome the Black and White really is. He tells us about being in Japan and hearing about Goldberg’s fluke win over Hollywood Hogan. Adams got on a plane and begged Hogan to let him prove that Goldberg is a fluke. Therefore, Adams is getting a title shot tonight which hopefully lasts about 18 seconds.

We get clips from Bischoff’s talk show last week.

Back from a break with the Flock in the ring and Raven talking about how things were supposed to be different than it was in high school. He’s still despised and attacked by people like Saturn and Kanyon though. You know, part of society’s norms. This brings out Saturn who is sick of hearing Raven cry. If Raven wants to cry, stand up so Saturn can give him something to be upset over. Kanyon runs out to get a piece of Saturn but gets suplexed down. Saturn picks Raven up for the Death Valley Driver but gets caught in a Flatliner from Kanyon. It’s not clear if Kanyon meant to save Raven or not.

Barbarian vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan chants USA a lot before clotheslining Barbarian out to the floor. Back in and a double ax handle drops Barbarian again but he gets a boot up to stop a jogging Duggan. Jim comes back with right hands in the corner to little effect but he has to deal with Jimmy Hart. Barbarian kicks Hart by mistake, allowing Duggan to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post match Hugh Morrus jumps Duggan but Meng comes in to beat up Morrus. Duggan gets the board to clean house and offers Meng a handshake, getting a Tongan Death Grip in return.

Bischoff’s house band is warming up.

There’s another horrible looking car in front of a star parking spot outside.

It’s time for NWO Night Cap and the keyboard player now has NWO glasses. Eric shakes hands with his fans ala Leno as we’re already two minutes into this. Joke topics tonight include Japanese Viagara, Monica Lewinsky, Jay Leno’s chin, bikers, Steve Urkel being NWO Black and White, the chin again, Leno not being funny, and growing sheep bladders in a lab.

Oh and now we get a COMEDY SEGMENT. It’s Headlines, which is showing various accidental puns in newspapers. The fans are booing this out of the building. Remember, they paid for a ticket to sit through this segment. Even Liz in a dress isn’t enough to save this but it keeps going anyway.

Now we get our special guest: Hollywood Hogan. Hollywood talks about how Bischoff is dominating late night and gives a birthday shout out to Nitro Nick. Bischoff shows us a clip from the real Tonight Show with band leader Kevin Eubanks talking about Bischoff making fun of Leno in a badly scripted conversation. We get a clip in the clip of the original Night Cap, which are the same clips we saw earlier tonight.

Leno makes fun of Hogan’s beard and says he’s seen better wrestling on Jerry Springer. Jay makes jokes about Hogan’s age and need for Viagara before we go back to an annoyed Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan says Leno’s lawyer should plead insanity for Leno because Jay has gone way over the line. He gives Leno one more chance to back off or Hogan is going to come to the Tonight Show and shut him up. Bischoff promises to show what happened when Karl Malone stepped into Hogan’s world. We’re FINALLY done after nearly seventeen minutes spent on this segment. I’d love to see the quarter hour ratings for this show.

More Nitro Girls with Fyre stripping off a suit in a solo routine.

Nitro Party video.

Time for more talking with Gene bringing out a limping DDP for a chat. Gene says Page put the title on the line last week even though he was injured. Page says it was Hogan that attacked him last week because he’s scum. Hogan shouldn’t hunt what he can’t kill, because Page’s mission is to now eliminate Hollywood from the wrestling world. Hogan can keep running, but one day he’ll feel the BANG.

Nice recap of Malenko vs. Jericho, setting up tonight’s last chance match for Malenko.

Tony hypes up the Goldberg interview again but the Black and White has something to say. Dusty Rhodes is back and heads over to the announcers’ table with Hall and Norton. Hall says if Nash doesn’t want a fight, how about sending Sting out to face him later? Dusty goes on a rant against Larry for talking too much trash about the NWO. Therefore, Larry is under a gag order tonight, meaning Dusty gives Tony an actual gag.

Scott Norton vs. Jim Neidhart

Norton no sells some forearms and powerbombs Neidhart for the pin in 15 seconds. I’d assume Norton will be Goldberg’s supper one day soon. Neidhart is already walking to the back before Norton is out of the ring. That’s some pretty poor selling.

Video on Goldberg.

The interview is hyped up again.

We go to the back for the back for Goldberg’s walk to the ring but he doesn’t come out. Doug Dillinger comes in and sees NWO graffiti all over the walls and the room ransacked. Goldberg is nowhere in sight.

Hour #2 begins at about 9:15.

Here’s Bret Hart for even more talking. He talks about how wrestling has become full of pimps and thieves and somewhere he doesn’t want to be, until now. Bret doesn’t want to hear about Page’s injuries because Page got in the ring last week. There’s one more person that he needs to address from last week and that’s Sting. Bret has a lot of respect for Sting and especially likes his taste in moves. There’s one thing that is least Sting down the wrong road and that’s all these people out there. Bret is Sting’s friend and will show him the right way.

Crusierweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending and this is Dean’s last chance at the title. Jericho dropkicks Dean out to the floor to start and sends him into the barricade to take an early advantage. Back in and Chris tries a top rope dropkick but dives into a dropkick from Malenko. Dean goes up again for a sunset flip but Jericho rolls through into the Liontamer. Malenko is quickly into the ropes and rolls out to the floor for a breather. Jericho hits a nice dive to take him out and we go to a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Malenko into the ropes but Dean takes over with a leg lariat. Malenko ducks a victory roll attempt and German suplexes Chris down for two. Jericho comes right back with a reverse suplex and the Lionsault to Dean’s back for two. The fans are into this match. A release double underhook powerbomb sets up the Cloverleaf but Jericho is too close to the ropes.

Malenko gets crotched on the top but he counters Jericho’s superplex into a DDT off the top for three but the referee waves it off because Jericho had the rope. Chris rolls to the floor and pulls out a foreign object but Dean stomps him down in the corner before Jericho can swing. The referee gets poked in the eyes and Dean takes the knucks away. He knocks Jericho out as the referee clears his eyes out, drawing the DQ.

Rating: C+. Really fast paced match here though the ending is kind of puzzling. Why would you have Malenko get beaten/screwed out of the title every single time, only to have him lose the final match? Jericho has dominated the feud as far as being the better character, but shouldn’t Malenko have gotten to keep the title at least once?

Gene swears that we’ll get the Goldberg interview soon. Apparently Goldberg is fine and in the locker room.

The Nitro Girls are in the crowd.

Long video on Road Wild, focusing on country singer Travis Tritt performing. Again with the celebrities.

Steve McMichael vs. Curt Hennig

McMichael throws Hennig around to start but Curt snaps McMichael’s throat across the top rope. Mongo comes back with a powerslam but a Rude distraction lets Hennig hit the PerfectPlex for the win. Another 90 second match.

We look at another clip from the Tonight Show with Leno bringing out a Hollywood Hogan impersonator who is too old to move.

Cue the Black and White to talk even more. Bischoff promises to fire whoever showed that Leno clip. Hogan says he’ll give Page a huge beating to make up for all the bad things he’s been saying lately. He’s also ready to ride Page real hard all night long. There’s a sex tape joke in there somewhere. Hogan accepts the challenge for a match with Page tonight.

Before that though, here’s the ENTIRE main event from Bash at the Beach. The match plus intros eats up nearly half an hour, including a few commercial breaks. I’m just going to copy and paste this from the Bash at the Beach review.

Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone vs. Dennis Rodman/Hollywood Hogan

Page and Malone have matching attire, which look like they jumped into a vat of hot glue with their jeans on. They come out to some hip hop song that keeps saying “feel the bang.” Malone looks like he’s been carved out of granite while Rodman is in a t-shirt and jeans. The basketball players get us going but first Hogan has to take off Rodman’s glasses. Rodman runs to the ropes to hide and the fans are all over him. That works so well that they do it a second time. A test of strength doesn’t happen as we hit two minutes into the match.

Rodman grabs a headlock but bails to the floor when Malone charges at him. Off to Hogan for a posedown with Hollywood getting frustrated. Malone hooks a kind of standing chinlock (imagine a left arm Rock Bottom but he clasps his hands together and squeezes) before slamming Hogan down. We’re five minutes in now and it’s off to Page. DDP gets Rodman and shoves him down off a lockup. A shoulder puts Rodman down again as the stalling continues. They spit at each other and Rodman armdrags him down. Somehow we’re seven minutes into this match.

They hit the ropes a bit and collide to send both guys down. Back to the headlock by Rodman but Page reverses into one of his own. The fans are clearly getting restless. Rodman leapfrogs Page twice and they collide again to give us more laying down. Malone comes in and kicks at Rodman, sending him over to Hogan for the tag. Karl hooks a top wristlock and shoves Hogan to the mat. Hogan complains of a hair pull and Rodman gets in a cheap shot to get to the whole tag match idea for the first time.

Hogan chokes a lot and slams Malone down before raking the boot over Malone’s eyes. Rodman comes in with some elbow drops before it’s back to Hogan for a chinlock. Here’s Rodman again for some double teaming and a belly to back suplex from Hogan. Hollywood misses an elbow though and it’s hot tag to Page. DDP comes in with a top rope clothesline to Hogan but a cheap shot from Rodman lets the NWO take over again. Hogan chokes away in the corner with his boot followed by a running clothesline.

Rodman comes in for a double big boot and more choking before it’s back to Hogan for right hands in the corner. Page hits a quick elbow but Rodman breaks up the tag attempt and puts on a front facelock. Malone plays cheerleader on the apron and we get the unseen and phantom tag tropes to space the match out even more. The big boot puts Page down but he avoids the legdrop and it’s hot tag off to Malone.

Clotheslines all around put the NWO down and they both get slams. There’s a double noggin knocker followed by Hogan’s head going into the buckle. A big boot drops Hogan and it’s off to Page for a running Diamond Cutter (Hogan landed on his hands, making the move look horrible). Malone Diamond Cuts Rodman but Disciple sneaks in with a Stunner to Page, giving Hogan the pin and a face pop for some reason.

Rating: F. This was about what you knew it was going to be, though it could have been FAR worse. Malone was clearly taking this seriously which is more than you can say for most celebrities in matches. Rodman looked like your usual celebrity wrestler: decent at the one or two really basic moves he used but pretty worthless otherwise. I’ve read before that this was originally booked to go nearly an hour, which makes me shiver in fear. I guess Hogan needed this win as a thank you for the mainstream attention he brought in?

Malone gives Disciple and the referee Diamond Cutters (good ones too) and the NWO celebrates like this is a big deal.

More Leno footage, this time with a Hogan midget.

Hour #3 begins, again about 15 minutes late.

Now it’s time for the Goldberg interview after stringing the TV audience along for an extra hour. Goldberg has been watching what Hogan has been trying to do around here. What they did tonight crossed a line, so he’s going to make Brian Adams an example. This was about 45 seconds long.

Here’s Arn Anderson for what could be a good interview for a change. Gene talks about Anderson’s talk with McMichael and Malenko on Thunder a few weeks back and wants to know why he was so hard on them. Anderson says the three of them tried very hard to make it personal with him and it almost worked. Tonight he was going to gauge the mood to see if the Horsemen had one more run. Then he saw Dean lose to a man that he’s better than and Mongo have a match with the man that brought down the Horsemen in the first place, only to get beaten too. That’s enough for him, so now he’s telling them to drop it.

Sting vs. Scott Hall

Sting starts while the ring is still full of smoke from the entrances, taking Hall down with a bulldog. Scott is sent out to the floor for a breather before coming back in with a toothpick to the face. Some right hands set up the fallaway slam for two but Sting shrugs them off and hits three straight Stinger Splashes. There’s the Death Drop to set up the Scorpion but here’s Bret Hart to distract Sting. He doesn’t fight back as Sting beats on him but Hennig and Vincent come in for the DQ. Too short to rate again but this was angle instead of wrestling.

Luger and Nash come out for the save as Bret still hasn’t gotten physical at all. Nash loads up the Jackknife on Hall but gets hit low. Bret tries to help Sting up but gets kicked low as well. Bret bails to the floor to escape the Scorpion. Hart never attacked Sting at all.

We look at Buff Bagwell suckering Rick Steiner in, only to turn heel again, wasting some of the most natural sympathy WCW ever had at its fingertips.

Scott Steiner shoves Buff down the ramp in a wheelchair and freaks out because Bagwell is hurt. Buff gets to his feet and dances, annoying Gene even more. Bagwell talks about how serious his neck injury was and Scott praises him for the great acting jobs over the last few weeks. Steiner promises to beat up Rick at Road Wild until JJ comes out to yell at Bagwell. Steiner gets a piece too, with promises of a match against Rick. Scott doesn’t seem too scared.

WCW World Title: Brian Adams vs. Goldberg

Vincent distracts Goldberg to start, allowing Adams to hit a top rope shoulder block and a suplex for two. Goldberg hits a belly to belly suplex, three spears (Adams, Vincent, Adams) and the Jackhammer makes it 121-0.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hollywood Hogan

This could have headlined a PPV. We get a music miscue as Hogan’s music starts before Buffer does his intro in both English and Spanish. Hogan jumps him at the entrances as Tenay talks about Page hosting a charity event for school kids in Atlanta. Nothing wrong with that. Page comes back with right hands and some choking in the corner as we’re just waiting on the run ins.

Hogan suplexes Page and pounds away with right hands to the head. A clothesline gets two on Page but misses an elbow drop. Page tries to clothesline Hogan to the floor but Hollywood is all like “that’s WAY too big a spot for me brother.” They fight to the floor and Page has to fight off Disciple. Back in and Hogan hits the corner clothesline, setting up the big boot. Page gets up anyway and grabs the Diamond Cutter, drawing in the NWO for the DQ. Too short to rate (shocking!) but Page was trying.

All of the NWO comes out for a big brawl. Goldberg comes to the ring and beats up the Black and White, only to walk into a chokeslam from Giant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This show was three hours and had seven new matches. Of those seven, ONE was long enough to rate, clocking in at less than six minutes. They spent about 45 minutes (approximately the amount of show time in an hour of programming) on a talk show segment and re-airing a match from PPV. I feel sorry for the San Antonio crowd tonight as they got ripped off tonight.

On top of being really short, how many of these matches meant anything at all? You had two worthless matches, then a good cruiserweight match, a match to advance the Horsemen angle, a match to set up a post match brawl, Goldberg being Goldberg, and a match to set up the post match brawl. Even Raw is better at using its time than that.

Finally there’s the Leno stuff. I understand the idea behind bringing in celebrities, but let’s think about this for a minute. Last month the celebrities were one of the best linebackers of all time, one of the craziest athletes ever and an NBA player at the peak of his career. This month it’s a 48 year old comedian most famous for having a large chin. It wasn’t unreasonable to think that Malone could be passable in the ring due to his athletic abilities.

What else could the Leno match be but bad comedy? It’s bad comedy setting up bad comedy. Yeah it appeals to the middle aged audience that loved the Tonight Show, but how many of them are going to pay $30 to watch Leno do physical comedy? On top of that, we haven’t even had the match announced yet and next week is the go home show for Road Wild. Not only is it a bad idea, but it’s being poorly marketed.

 

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In Your House #12: It’s Time
Date: December 15, 1996
Location: West Palm Beach Auditorium, West Palm Beach, Florida
Attendance: 5,708
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

 

The title of this show was odd and a good example of how fast things can change in wrestling. It’s Time was Vader’s catchphrase and tonight was supposed to be a showcase of him as the new WWF Champion, but obviously that didn’t happen. Actually Vader isn’t even on the card due to an injury, making the title all the more inappropriate.  Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video shows quick clips of Bret and Sid with the words IT’S TIME in between.

 

Lawler promises to knock Shawn out if he comes out for commentary.

 

Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk

 

Cassidy is more famous as Al Snow but is one half of the New Rockers here. Funk is more famous as 2 Cold Scorpio and is basically a pimp without calling him as much. He has Funkettes and funk music, basically making him the original Brodus Clay. Even Vince dances to the theme song a bit. After a long dance sequence by Funk and his girls we’re ready to go. Funk shoves Cassidy into the ropes to start and dances a bit, only angering Leif as a result.

 

They trade wristlocks until Flash spins around and grabs an armbar on the mat. Cassidy spins up but a flying snap mare takes him right back down. Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and takes Leif down into a headlock. Back up and Flash tries to go up but slips off the ropes, only to pop back up and hit a cross body to set up another armbar. A headscissors out of the corner is countered into a reverse powerbomb by Cassidy and the Rocker takes over.

 

Cassidy blocks a right hand and traps Funk’s arms for some headbutts, followed by a belly to belly over the top and out to the floor. Leif follows it up with a springboard moonsault to the floor in a great looking dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Flash fights up and dances a bit more. Another powerbomb attempt by Cassidy is countered and Flash lands on his feet, dancing again. Leif comes back with a sitout spinebuster for a very delayed two count. Off to a modified dragon sleeper but Leif lets him go very quickly for some reason.

 

Funk avoids a middle rope moonsault as you can see a lot of empty seats not that far from the ring. Funk hits the ropes and cartwheels into a spinning enziguri, sending Leif out tot he floor. Another big dive takes Cassidy down before a gorgeous top rope moonsault gets two for Funk. They trade some quick rollups for two each until Flash scores with an enziguri and the Funky Flash Splash (450 and yes that’s the real name) gets the pin. We even get a rare error from JR who calls it a Shooting Star Press.

 

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going but for its time, this was pretty awesome. Funk is a personal favorite of mine who could fly like few other mainstream guys at this time. Cassidy was no slouch either but it would take an absurd gimmick to get him noticed, which is a shame at the end of the day.

 

Tag Titles: Diesel/Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

 

This is the story that I didn’t want to get to earlier on but I’m stuck with it now. No these aren’t the real Hall and Nash returning, but rather people that JR brought in and who are being used as something resembling a parody of the guys who were on top of the wrestling world at this point.

 

Originally JR talked about how the person didn’t actually matter and the gimmicks were what got Hall and Nash over, which is actually a nice jab at them. That didn’t last long though and eventually became a basic parody, though Rick Bogner (Fake Razor) looks like he’s wearing a Razor Ramon costume and mask. Glenn Jacobs (Fake Diesel) actually looks like the real thing from behind and when he’s wearing sunglasses, making him far more bearable in the costume. We’ll be hearing from Jacobs again in a few months.

 

As for the match, the idea is that the champions are having problems because Steve Austin has been messing with their heads. Diesel starts with Owen as JR gets into full analytical mode now that some of his buddies are in there. Diesel drives Owen into the corner and fires off some elbows before shoving Owen off the ropes. Owen comes back with some right hands but gets slammed down with ease. Two guys from Mexican wrestling company AAA named Pierroth and Cibernetico are in the aisle to distract the Bulldog for some reason.

 

Off to Bulldog vs. Razor with the latter doing a pretty decent imitation of the real Razor’s mannerisms, but the whole thing falls apart as soon as you see his face. Bulldog fires off some forearms as the AAA guys leave, only to be replaced by Austin. Bulldog hits a quick cross body but goes to the floor to get in a fight with Austin. Steve is taken to the back but the distraction allows Razor to hit a spinning right hand, sending Bulldog into the corner for a tag off to Owen.

 

Hart gets a quick two off a missile dropkick but Diesel pulls the top rope down to send him out to the floor. Diesel rams Owen back first into the post before sending him back in for an armbar from Razor. Off to Diesel for a sidewalk slam but he stomps away instead of covering. Ramon comes back in and hits a pumphandle fall away slam for two before grabbing a reverse chinlock. The fans are almost entirely behind the champions, despite them being huge heels at this point.

 

Diesel gets two off a big boot (which clearly missed by several inches) but the fans all think he sucks. Owen gets a boot of his own up in the corner and takes Diesel down with a nice enziguri. There’s the hot tag off to Bulldog who cleans house with clotheslines and forearms all around. A quick vertical suplex gets two on Razor as everything breaks down. Owen is whipped into Diesel who catches him in midair but Bulldog dropkicks his partner in the back, sending them both to the floor. Owen slides back in to spinwheel kick Razor in the face to break up a Razor’s Edge attempt and score a quick pin to retain.

 

Rating: C-. As stupid as the gimmick was, the match wasn’t too bad at all. Diesel was actually very solid in the ring and would be around for many more years under a different gimmick. Razor was just kind of there though and the match was definitely weaker when he was in the ring. Not bad stuff for the most part though.

 

Post match Austin immediately hits the ring for some cheap shots on the Bulldog, possibly injuring his knee.

 

Here’s Ahmed Johnson for an interview. He’s looking forward to the Royal Rumble for his shot at Faarooq because he’s lost everything due to the injury Faarooq caused. Johnson has lost his car, his girlfriend and his house so now it’s time for revenge. All he has left are the people, but before he can go into that here’s the Nation of Domination, Faarooq’s semi-militant black power group. Faarooq goes into a rant about how Johnson’s people have no future but everyone is looking to Faarooq for their hope. Johnson wants to fight right now and starts his trademark YOU’RE GOING DOWN chant.

 

We recap Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero for the Intercontinental title. Helmsley took the title from Mero the night after Buried Alive with Mero replacing Mr. Perfect. It turns out that Perfect had been grooming Helmsley to steal the title from Mero and their rift from a few months ago was all a ruse. Helmsley won the title and threw Perfect out of the WWF, leading to a rematch tonight.

 

Intercontinental Title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero

 

Thankfully Helmsley has officially been nicknamed HHH by this point, making my typing far easier. The champion grabs a hammerlock and takes Mero down to the mat, only to be countered into a hammerlock as well. Back up and they fight over a top wristlock before Mero scores with a hiptoss. A dropkick and clothesline put Helmsley on the floor and Mero hits a nice dive to take him out again.

 

Back in and Mero keeps the pressure on with a backdrop and some right hands in the corner, only to have HHH drop him face first on the buckle to take over. That doesn’t last long either though as a Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top rope, sending HHH back to the floor. Mero gives chase but HHH hides behind Sable like the coward that he is. It’s Mero being sent into the steps now with the champion firmly in control.

 

Helmsley grabs a chair but the referee takes it away, only to allow Helmsley to send Mero into the steps again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mero down again as Vince apologizes for satellite transmission problems. Another backbreaker gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch. It’s nice to see a basic story here and it’s working quite well. Things don’t have to be complicated to work which is a lesson so many wrestling companies and wrestlers in general can’t understand.

 

The referee catches HHH using the ropes for additional leverage and breaks up the hold, triggering a shoving match between referee Earl Hebner and the champion. This would actually become a recurring bit between the two of them over the years. Mero tries to speed things up but charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. HHH goes up but dives into a boot to the face as well, giving Mero the breather he needed. A hard whip turns HHH upside down in the corner and a knee to the ribs puts him down again.

 

Mero gets two off a headscissors and a top rope hurricanrana looks to set up the Wild Thing. Helmsley is nothing if not resourceful though and sends Hebner into the ropes, crotching Mero down onto the buckle. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot which sends Helmsley head first into the post but only gets a two count. A moonsault press (the Merosault) gets another two but Marc clotheslines the referee down.

 

Helmsley scores with a neckbreaker but there’s no one to count. The title belt is brought in but Mero avoids a shot to the head and gets a rolling cradle but there’s still no referee. Helmsley is whipped int the corner and goes flying to the outside where Mero scores with another dive. Cue Goldust for no apparent reason to swing another Intercontinental Title at HHH but hitting Mero by mistake. The referee is back up to count and only Mero gets back in to beat the count, earning a countout win. No title change though.

 

Rating: C. Again not a bad match at all with Mero still being great in the air and Helmsley really starting to get into the heel mode that would make him a legend. The Goldust stuff didn’t do much for me but he would be feuding with Helmsley more extensively soon enough. Good stuff here though.

 

Post match Mero hits the Wild Thing on HHH for fun. Goldust gets in some cheap shots in the aisle as his face push continues.

 

Sid is very happy to be here even though he and Shawn got in a brawl earlier this morning. Bret tried to intervene and took a beating from Sid as well. Sid whispers a lot, saying that he beat Shawn and Shawn beat Bret, ergo he can beat Bret.

 

We recap the Executioner vs. Undertaker, which should be obvious if you read the previous show. Undertaker was back at Survivor Series, basically looking like Batman and wearing a better looking outfit. The guy in the executioner’s mask is now known as Executioner if that wasn’t clear. He attacked Undertaker at Survivor Series but tonight it’s one on one.

 

Executioner vs. Undertaker

 

This is an Armageddon match, meaning after a fall the person who was pinned or submitted has a ten count to get to his feet. Basically it’s a last man standing match but the counts don’t start until after a fall. Executioner is former Freebird (legendary 80s team) Terry Gordy who was about ten miles past his prime here. Undertaker runs him over to start and backdrops Executioner before booting him in the face. A whip into the corner gets Executioner tied up in the Tree of Woe so Undertaker can stomp away even more.

 

He takes too much time glaring at Paul Bearer though and misses a splash in the corner. It doesn’t seem to affect Undertaker that much though as he’s right back up, only to miss an elbow drop. A clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he lands on his feet and pulls Executioner to the floor. Paul blasts him with the urn to little effect but being sent into the post works a bit better. A clothesline puts Executioner back down though and Undertaker peels the mats back, only to have Mankind roll out from under the announce table to double team Undertaker down.

 

They head inside but Undertaker clotheslines both of them out to the floor and fights them up the aisle. Undertaker throws Mankind through the In Your House set window, punches him around the back and knocks him through the door as well. Executioner gets back up and they head back to ringside with Undertaker being caught by the numbers game again. Security comes out and spray mace at Mankind to little effect as the other two head back to the set. They brawl backstage and outside as Mankind has been put in a straitjacket.

 

The camera only shows us the steps and never goes outside with Undertaker and Executioner, so we cut back to the arena to see Mankind in the jacket stumbling around ringside. We finally get a camera outside and see a wide shot of Undertaker knocking Executioner into the water. He heads back inside to get some more of Mankind who charges at him while still in the straitjacket. Eventually a dry Executioner comes back to the ring and gets tombstoned for the easy pin and ten count.

 

Rating: D-. To call this a mess is an insult to messes. The Armageddon stuff was worthless because there wasn’t even a fall attempted until the very end. This was also the last major appearance for Executioner and I can’t say I’m surprised. He was just a generic big guy that never did anything of note. Terrible match here that was trying WAY too hard.

 

Bret looks at the video from earlier today with the three way fight between himself, Shawn and Sid, saying he wouldn’t put anything past Shawn. He gets cut off by Shawn’s music and is even more ticked off.

 

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

 

Shawn is on commentary due to getting the winner at the Royal Rumble and immediately jumps on Bret (verbally), blasting him for not putting people over and making it all about himself. Bret jumps Sid from behind and pounds away with Shawn still getting in jab after jab at him. A hard whip into the corner and a clothesline put Bret down though as the champion takes over. Sid hits a running kick to the side of the head before stomping away in the corner. Bret comes back with a shot to the ribs and drops some elbows as Shawn rips into Bret for his lack of emotion.

 

Sid punches him to the floor for nothing of note before going back inside where Bret gets backdropped right back to the floor. The mats are peeled back again but Bret pushes Sid into the post to break up an attempted powerbomb. Bret picks him up and rams him back first into the post before heading back inside for some kicks to the spine. Off to a reverse chinlock which is usually a heel move but Bret is a face, despite wrestling a heel style here. Sid is allegedly a heel but the fans like him, though not as much as Bret. 1996 was weird.

 

Bret stomps away in the corner but uses the referee’s break to untie a turnbuckle pad. Sid blocks a ram into the buckle but gets suplexed down for two. The Russian legsweep gets the same and Bret follows up with a snap suplex for no cover. A middle rope elbow to the back gets two more as Bret isn’t hooking the leg for some reason as per his custom, but for once the announcers are calling him out on it.

 

Bret goes up but gets slammed off and punched HARD in the face. There’s a big boot for two and Shawn makes sure to point out Sid hooking the leg. Sid misses an elbow drop but kicks Bret to the floor to break up the Sharpshooter. Cue Steve Austin out of nowhere with a chop block to take Bret’s knee out. This brings out the Bulldog and Owen to take out Austin but the damage has been done. Bret gets back in with a bad limp but Sid is tentative to go after him, possibly due to Bret’s history of goldbricking but I don’t think Sid is that bright.

 

The champion finally pounds Bret down into the corner and stomps away with pure power. Bret escapes Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle but gets sent chest first into it instead which suits him very well. A big chokeslam gets two for the Sycho (yes that’s how it’s spelled in the WWF) but Sid misses a charge, allowing Bret to hit a Cactus Clothesline and send both guys to the floor. Bret grabs a chair (Shawn: “There’s your role model!) but Sid takes it away with ease. Sid shoves Shawn down, bringing Michaels to the apron. Bret is sent into Shawn to stun the Canadian, allowing Sid to powerbomb him and retain.

 

Rating: C+. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t all that bad. The face/heel dynamic here was very strange to say the least but it actually worked in the end. Bret is the kind of guy that can work with any style and bouncing around for a monster is one of his specialties. Good main event here though not great. In an impressive note, Sid has now pinned Shawn and Bret at consecutive PPVs, which is quite the feat.

 

Post match Shawn is injured from being knocked off the apron and Bret pounds away on him. Bret leaves in a huff and Shawn promises to kick Bret’s teeth down his throat to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: C+. For a two hour show at a cost of $20, this was actually pretty solid stuff. The Undertaker match was dreadful but other than that there isn’t anything bad on the card. We’re definitely past the worst point and things should start going up from here. The threeway feud over the world title is interesting stuff and the promos that built it up were even better. There’s nothing groundbreaking or worth going out of your way to see here, but it was a pleasant surprise after so many awful shows so far.

 

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Monday Nitro #146
Date: July 20, 1998
Location: E-Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

There isn’t much of a main story at the moment other than the Wolfpack is done feuding with comedy heels and is going after the Black and White again. We’re moving closer to Road Wild but the show hasn’t even been mentioned yet. It would appear that we’ll be getting Hogan vs. Page and Goldberg vs. Hennig, even though we already saw that match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Hall attacking Nash during the big brawl with the NWOs.

Opening sequence.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Hall to get things going. There’s no point for a survey tonight because Salt Lake City is here to see the NWO. The fans don’t seem to agree but Hall ignores them and goes into a Gilligan’s Island metaphor. Apparently Hall is tired of laying on the top bunk and doing all the work while Skipper Nash lays on his back. Nash can’t lead the Wolfpack since he isn’t even a man, unlike Hogan. A Too Sweet takes us out.

Tonight it’s going to be Hart vs. Page for the vacant US Title, even though Hart hasn’t exactly beaten anyone of note in WCW.

We go back to Nitro last week for a look at all the Black and White drama, from Hogan challenging Hall to the match itself to Page running in and getting beaten down to the Nash stuff.

Stevie Ray vs. Johnny Boone

Boone is a jobber who would become a referee. Stevie doesn’t have the belt tonight because he left it with Booker and his attorney. Total squash with Ray kicking Boone around like the jobber that he is. Cue Chavo Guerrero with his Lone Ranger mask and the TV Title as Stevie Slap Jacks Boone for the pin.

We look back at Hogan shoving Bagwell out of the wheelchair last week.

Back from a break and we get an extended version of Hogan and Bagwell.

Here’s Rick Steiner to talk about what happened to Bagwell last week. When Gene says talk about Bagwell, Rick goes into a challenge to Scott Steiner for Road Wild. Here’s Buff in a wheelchair and Rick immediately apologizes for what happened last week. Rick apologizes for Bagwell’s injury and says there was no bad intent at all.

Bagwell says he was mad at Rick to begin with but the injury has changed him. He loves every single fan and forgives Rick for what happened. They hug but here’s Scott Steiner with a chair to Rick’s back. Buff pops up and takes the chair to blast Rick as well. He takes off the neck brace and his shirt, revealing a Black and White shirt. Buff is another guy that could have been a big deal with his look and story with the injury but they just threw him back into the NWO to get lost in the shuffle.

Back from a break with more talking but at least it’s Jericho. He talks about the mental anguish he’s suffered at Malenko’s hands, such as being attacked and tormented over the memory of his dead father (who appeared on Thunder a few weeks before). Jericho offers Dean a title shot next week, but it’s Malenko’s last shot. If he loses, Dean can just go back to Harry’s Burgers in Tampa and give up on wrestling.

Hall pops up at the announce table and throws a toothpick in Larry’s face. He talks about hanging with Hollywood and learning a lot about the movies. Hall doesn’t want to see Nash’s performance in the sequel to Terms of Endearment, referring to the sitdown interview with Tenay that we saw on Thunder.

We see a parking spot out back labeled “star of the show” but the car in front of it is wrecked with with windows all cracked and shattered.

Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy

Hey look a match. Tony tells us that the wrecked car is a reference to Jay Leno, who always drives a different car to the Tonight Show. Tony: “That’s all it could be.” Lodi and Sick Boy jump Mongo on the floor and a clothesline gets two for Sick Boy. Mongo comes right back with a three point clothesline and the tombstone for the pin in about a minute.

We look back at Arn Anderson telling Malenko to let the Horsemen be over from Thunder.

Nitro Party winner.

Time for Bischoff’s talk show, which is now called NWO Night Cap. The bandleader intros the show again and at least Liz looks good in a leather dress. Bischoff has a full set now which looks a lot like the Tonight Show set. The entrances take nearly two minutes before Bischoff makes some bad jokes about the heat wave, stomach ailments, Secret Service testimony, the Monica Lewinsky scandal and chickens.

These are all accompanied by Eric complimenting himself and the band laughing hysterically. Tony FREAKS OUT because apparently these jokes are ripped off from the Tonight Show. Eric makes fun of Leno’s chin and talks about Leno being a disgrace to bikers. This ate up seven and a half minutes.

Hour #2 begins. To recap, WCW used their unopposed hour for three and a half minutes of wrestling, about ten minutes of recaps, a challenge for a Cruiserweight Title match, and Bischoff’s talk show.

We see Nash’s sitdown interview from Thunder. The tape cuts out in the middle and we cut to the production truck with Hall leaving. Nash walks up and a fight breaks out. They head outside but the Black and White comes out of a trailer to beat Nash down. The Wolfpack runs in to help and the huge brawl is on. Enough of that though as we need to go back to the announcers.

Hart shows up at the announcers’ table and wants Page right now. We cut to the back where Konnan is screaming for help and standing over Page’s writhing body. The trainer comes to check on Page as Bret heads to the ring. JJ Dillon comes out as well and says the match will have to be later.

Yuji Nagata vs. Saturn

Saturn takes him over with a quick northern lights suplex for two followed by a quickly broken armbar. Some kicks in the corner drop Nagata but he comes right back with a release northern lights suplex. Yuji goes after the leg, only to get caught in a German suplex. We’ve had a tag title match made for later: Nash/Sting defending against Giant/Hall. Nagata misses a running knee in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Sonny Onoo gets on the apron as Raven runs in with the Even Flow to Saturn, allowing Nagata to put on the Nagata Lock for the pin since Saturn can’t tap out.

Rating: D. This was just there to announce the tag match and announce the tag title match. Nagata continues to be one of the least interesting guys you’ll see in this company throughout its entire run so thankfully this is his last appearance with the company. He just never gave us a reason to care about him in the year or so he was around.

Post match the Flock comes in to lay out the Flock until Kanyon makes the save. Kidman gets a sick looking middle rope piledriver. Saturn gets up and hits a Death Valley Driver on Kanyon for his unwanted help.

We look at Bret costing Rick Martel a match last week and attacking Mysterio and Guerrera on Thunder.

Nitro Girls.

Heenan is on commentary now.

Tag Titles: Giant/Scott Hall vs. Sting/Kevin Nash

Nash and Sting are defending. The Outsiders get us going as Tony talks about Jay Leno. Hall backs into the corner and tags in Giant for the big lockup with Giant sending Nash into the corner for a clothesline. Nash pounds back on Giant and everything breaks down with the Wolfpack quickly cleaning house. Back in and Sting clotheslines Hall down as we take a break.

We come back to see Giant on the floor before coming in for a tag from Hall. Giant gets in Sting’s face but gets slapped, enraging him enough that he misses a charge into the corner. A Stinger Splash hits a boot though and Giant takes over again. Giant can’t hit a clothesline but Sting’s cross body literally bounces off the big man. Back to Hall for some right hands and a two count followed by an abdominal stretch. The Black and White finally gets caught cheating, which doesn’t change anything but Sting hiptosses out of the hold anyway.

A hot tag brings in Nash to clean house for real and finally get his hands on Hall. Scott escapes Snake Eyes but gets his head kicked off as everything breaks down again. Sting hits Giant low and bulldogs him down before getting the hot tag from Nash. Hall is almost in the Scorpion but here’s Bret Hart to break it up. The distraction lets Scott hit the Outsider’s Edge for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing of note but at least Bret is FINALLY doing something. The bad thing to come out of this though is we get to deal with the Leno promotion. It’s going to dominate the next few weeks of commentary but there’s nothing that can be done about it. Nash and Sting losing the titles is a good thing though as they never made sense as champions in the first place.

The announcers recap the show so far. Tony: “I think Diamond Dallas Page was attacked by Bret Hart.” Insert your own joke about stating the obvious. We get a clip of the events from earlier.

Alex Wright/Disco Inferno vs. Masahiro Chono/Great Muta

Tony makes up for the obvious statement earlier by calling Wright and Disco the Dancing Dodos. Wright gets jumped from behind to start but comes back with a spinwheel kick to take Chono down. Disco comes in and stomps him in the corner, only to walk into the Mafia Kick. Off to Muta for some strikes to the face but he gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. Muta comes right back with the dragon screw leg whip and a leg bar for the submission on Disco.

Post match Scott Norton comes out to destroy the dancers even more.

Hour #3 begins.

The Nitro Girls dance but the trainer comes out and takes Kimberly away due to something in the back.

Tokyo Magnum vs. Ultimo Dragon

Tokyo, usually the dancing idiot, comes out to traditional slow Japanese style music. Dragon jumps him to start and takes Magnum into the corner for the rapid fire kicks. The announcers talk about how the teacher is beating up the student as he kicks Magnum in the back. Magnum slams him off the top but dives into a dropkick, setting up a brainbuster and the Dragon Sleeper. Basically a squash in Dragon’s last WCW match.

We look at the ending to the tag title match which shows Bret telling Sting that the Scorpion is his hold.

Jim Powers vs. Scott Norton

Norton drives him into the corner to start and powerslams Jim down for no cover. He chokes Powers in the corner, misses a charge, catches Jim in a Samoan drop and powerbombs him down for the pin.

Video on Hogan’s evil deeds since he joined the NWO.

Here’s the Black and White en masse with something to say. Hogan brags about the new tag team champions and asks for a round of applause for their victory. He also admires the dedication of Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell as they help in the NWO conquering wrestling. That brings him to Goldberg….but first let’s praise Muta and Chono. Instead of talking about the world title, Hogan talks about Bischoff being the funniest man in television and how Eric is going to take over late night. Bret is going to take the US Title tonight and Page will know how awesome Hogan is and that’s about it.

We look back at the end of the tag match main event of Thunder where Hennig and Hall beat DDP and Konnan. Apparently this is supposed to make us care about the next match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Konnan

Konnan has Antoine Carr of the Utah Jazz with him. Eddie takes him down to start and the fans think he sucks. Konnan comes right back by LAUNCHING Eddie into the air for a huge crash. A gorilla press slam has about the same result so Eddie goes to the floor to yell at Carr. Back in and they run the ropes a few times until Konnan monkey flips him into the ropes for two. An X-Factor gets the same on Eddie as this is one sided so far. Cue Chavo dressed like Konnan and shouting his catchphrases with the distraction allowing Eddie to suplex Konnan down. Eddie grabs Chavo’s stick horse and that’s a DQ despite a lack of contact.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match but Eddie’s insane height on the throws makes up for it. Chavo vs. Eddie doesn’t seem to have an end in sight and that could become an issue soon. I’m not sure where they can go with it now but it’s not a problem yet.

Lex Luger vs. Curt Hennig

Luger shoves him into the corner and pops the pecs a bit. Hennig has already lasted longer than last week so we’re on the right track. A hip toss sends Hennig out to the floor but he snaps Luger throat first across the rope to take over. Hennig goes after the ribs to keep Luger in trouble and snaps the neck for two. Some choking on the ropes leads to a sleeper on Luger to put Lex down. A belly to back suplex breaks the hold and Luger hits his atomic drops and clotheslines. The referee gets bumped in the corner but Rude comes in and gets a Rack. The distraction lets Curt hit the PerfectPlex for the pin (with Rude holding the foot).

Rating: D+. Total paint by numbers match here which doesn’t really accomplish anything. The Wolfpack civil war doesn’t do anything for me anymore as it just keeps going without actually having an end in sight. That’s the mantra for all of WCW at this point: there’s no idea to this but it fills in time.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page

The title is vacant coming in. There’s no DDP to start though as we’re running out of time. After a few moments, here’s a very bandaged Page with no music and a bad limp to try to make this work. Bret goes right after the bad leg to take Page down before working over the bad ribs. The Russian legsweep takes Page down and there’s the Sharpshooter but Page is right next to the rope. A second attempt goes on and Page gives up to give Hart the title. This wasn’t a match.

Page is taken out on a stretcher as the NWO comes to the ring to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show is a good example of what’s wrong with WCW around this time. Where were Goldberg and the world title? Who is the next challenger for the belt? I have no idea, because none of that matters when Hollywood Hogan has something going on. That’s what happened when Sting won the title and it’s happening again here. It’s just them going from one Hogan story to another as he fights celebrity after celebrity. That might have made them some money in the short term but it’s speeding towards a cliff in the long term.

 

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Thunder
Date: July 16, 1998
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 13,393
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

I can’t believe I’m saying this but Hogan is one of the best things about WCW right now. He was evil again on Monday instead of being the guy who takes nothing seriously. That being said, he really doesn’t seem to mind that he’s lost the world title. His reaction on Monday was basically “Eh, I’ll get back to that when I have time.” That doesn’t do anything for the title but that never seemed to be a priority in WCW. Let’s get to it.

Apparently this is a three hour show. Oh freaking joy.

Speaking of three hours, weren’t we supposed to see Hogan vs. Goldberg in its entirety again on Monday? I guess not being able to remember a promise you made five days earlier is a universal problem in wrestling.

We open with a Nash interview from after Nitro went off the air Monday. He says he isn’t pleased with what Hall did and calls it strike two. It’s all Hogan’s fault of course, but Nash is going to have to knock some sense into Hall. Tenay is conducting the interview and spends most of it sucking up to the Outsiders because WCW now supports the Wolfpack I guess.

Konnan vs. El Dandy

Konnan raps on the way to the ring and sucks up to the Oakland crowd. Dandy is quickly taken down and stomped on a bit before he comes back with a clothesline. An abdominal stretch has Konnan in trouble but he dares to doubt El Dandy. Konnan flapjacks him down and it’s the 187 into the Tequila Sunrise for the easy win.

Road Wild ad.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Lizmark Jr.

This is going to be a long three hours. Dragon fires off the kicks to start and does his headstand in the corner before kicking Lizmark in the chest. Lizmark chops him a bit and gets a nice belly to back suplex to set up an abdominal stretch on the mat. Back up and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Lizmark. The nitwit fans are booing this. A rollup and fallaway slam get two each on Dragon as this has almost been one sided. Lizmark’s Lionsault hits legs though and both guys are down. Back up and Lizmark tries a Samoan drop of all things, only to have Dragon land on his feet and hook the Dragon Sleeper for the win.

Rating: C. Better match than I expected here as Lizmark got to show off. Dragon is on his way out of the company at this point so maybe that’s why he was on defense so long out there. It wasn’t anything that was going to set the world on fire but I can think of worse ways to spend four and a half minutes.

The announcers talk about DDP and Hennig not happening last week but they’ll try to do it tonight instead.

Here’s Page to talk about how much he hates Hogan and his ego. He’s right here if Hogan wants to jump him, but tonight it’s Hennig that will feel the BANG. Short stuff from Page tonight.

The next Thunder isn’t for three weeks. I think that’s a Christmas miracle.

Public Enemy vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Rock cranks on Wright’s arm to start but gets backdropped out to the floor. He doesn’t seem all that hurt but Wright sends him back inside anyway. Rocco’s superplex attempt is countered into a front suplex off the top for two as Rocco still doesn’t seem that bothered. Off to Disco vs. Grunge with Inferno getting punched all over the ring. Wright walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam as Public Enemy throws in a table. Tokyo Magnum tries to come in for a save but gets crushed against the table. Alex uses the distraction to grab a neckbreaker on Grunge for the pin.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this hasn’t been a horrible feud. There’s a nice idea with the goofy guys facing the brawlers and it’s actually working. The matches haven’t been anything of note but I haven’t been bored when watching them. That’s more than I can say about a lot of WCW matches and feuds.

Post match Meng comes out and destroys everyone in sight. Barbarian comes out to try and stop Meng but gets a Death Grip for his efforts. Meng destroys even more people.

Dean Malenko vows to get his hands on Jericho soon enough. Tony asks him about Arn Anderson helping him out at Bash at the Beach. Dean says he’ll talk to Arn before he leaves tonight.

Jim Duggan vs. Roadblock

A quick (work with me here) clothesline put the 400lb+ Roadblock on the floor but he elbows Duggan in the jaw back inside. The big man hits some forearms to the back like any good clubbing monster would before Duggan clotheslines him out again. Back in and the ten right hands in the corner have Roadblock in trouble but he grabs a bearhug to slow Duggan down. Jim breaks free, hits the Three Point Clothesline and drops Old Glory (knee drop) for the pin.

Rating: D. Shockingly watchable match but again, why did they need to have this match? Was there no one on the roster that needed a TV win? It’s like they just pick these names out of a hat like at Lethal Lottery. The match wasn’t even bad but it doesn’t need to exist given some of the people on this roster.

Bret Hart says he doesn’t mind if the fans don’t like him. They don’t matter and he’s already taken care of Flair, Benoit and Booker (complete with making fun of the way Booker speaks). No one is safe around here and he’ll take out anyone he wants.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

This should be good. Kanyon grabs two quick rollups for two each but Saturn grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Schiavone of course brags about the basketball match instead of talking about ANYTHING going on during the match. Lee Marshall of all people gets him back on track. Saturn fires off some kicks in the corner but gets caught in a neckbreaker to put both guys down.

We hit the chinlock from Kanyon followed by a hotshot for two more. A PerfectPlex gets two for Kanyon as does a slingshot elbow drop from the apron. Kanyon drives shoulders into Saturn’s ribs in the corner but misses a charging shoulder and gets rolled up for two. The fans want Arn and go WOO a lot. Saturn scores with a great looking superkick for two but walks into the Flatliner for the same result. The Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets yet another two for Kanyon but Saturn pops up and hits the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest with both guys hitting one big move after another. As usual the story hasn’t gone anywhere yet but it was still entertaining stuff which is what this dull show has needed. Why couldn’t these guys get another five minutes and Roadblock’s match been cut?

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

The Chavo chants before the match already get on Eddie’s nerves and Psychosis uses the distraction to get a quick rollup for two. They trade rollups and counters to start until Eddie grabs a quick suplex to take over. Psychosis pops back up and kicks Guerrero in the head to send him outside. A nice plancha from the top takes Eddie out again and he’s kind enough to just stand there and wait on Psychosis to go up. Back in and Eddie grabs a quick shoulder breaker and starts in on the arm.

We get an actual hammerlock in a cruiserweight match. I don’t remember the last time I saw that. Eddie stays on the arm but misses a charge in the corner. Psychosis goes up and here’s Chavo, dressed like the Lone Ranger. Psychosis dives on him for no apparent reason before Eddie dives on both of them for a slightly more adequately explored reason. Back in and Psychosis hits a top rope hurricanrana and a gordbuster, only to have Chavo hit him with the stick horse. Eddie’s frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Chavo continues to entertain but I’m not sure where they’re going with the story at this point. They’ve kind of hit a wall as Eddie has taken his hair but Chavo doesn’t seem to mind. At least it’s fun stuff though which is more than Chavo had been doing before this whole thing started. Eddie is getting a nice push out of it too.

We get the Nash interview from earlier which leads us into Scott Hall with something to say. No survey since California is clearly Black and White country, so on to Nash. Apparently Nash is a big goof who wouldn’t help Hall when he had money troubles, so Hall turned to Hogan and Bischoff. Hall declares himself Medium Sexy the Nash Killer and that he’s sexier than ten movie stars. Again, not much here.

Scott Norton vs. Ciclope

Norton, officially in black and white, powerbombs him for the pin in 15 seconds.

Stevie Ray is here to explain why he has the TV Title. Apparently Booker was in his hospital bed and looked up at Stevie (“With those big brown eyes”) and told Stevie how great of a champion he was. Booker gave Stevie power of attorney and Ray has a hand written note to prove it. Booker even picked the opponent tonight.

TV Title: Stevie Ray vs. Damien

Another total squash with Ray just mauling him. A powerslam gets no cover and Damien makes the jobber comeback with chops and a dropkick. Stevie clotheslines him down and the Slap Jack retains the title.

Here are Hennig, Rude and Hall with something to say. Rude thinks Page is nothing more than a flash in the pan. Hennig things DDP stands for Dirtball Dallas Punk and complains that his bird is too sick to relieve himself on a picture of DDP. Konnan comes out for Wolfpack reasons, calls Hall a mark, slaps Hennig, and runs.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

In a funny bit, Tenay talks about some Oakland A’s being here. Heenan: “Gehrig is here.” Tony: “Lou?” Heenan: “Al. He parks cars.” Feeling out process to start with Rey taking control of the arm and ducking an enziguri. Juvy chops away until Rey goes for a springboard dropkick but gets dropkicked out of the air. A suplex gets two for Guerrera and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Mysterio gets two off a rollup before kicking Juvy in the back to take over. Now it’s Juvy heading to the apron and connecting with his springboard missile dropkick for two. They head up top with Juvy being punched out to the floor, setting up a BIG dive from Mysterio. Back in and Rey hits the ropes, only to get caught in the Juvy Driver for a very close two. The 450 is broken up and Rey sets for the West Coast Pop, only to have Bret Hart of all people come out with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Surprising ending aside, what else were you expecting from Guerrera vs. Mysterio? It’s good to see Rey getting to test his knee out against someone who can give him a run for his money. Juvy continues to be awesome but never seems to go anywhere as a result. Some things never change around here.

Both small guys are beaten down with the chair. Juvy gets a Sharpshooter and Mysterio is put in the figure four around the post. This is really the best thing they can come up with for Bret Hart?

Hugh Morrus/Barbarian vs. Marty Jannetty/Chris Adams

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Adams pounds on Morrus to start before bringing Marty in for a superkick. The crowd is clearly heading to the concourse during this. Everything quickly breaks down and Adams is sent to the floor, allowing Morrus to moonsault Jannetty for the pin. Another nothing match.

Post match Meng comes out and destroys people. They’re so strapped for ideas that they did the same low level angle twice in one night.

Here’s Dean Malenko who demands to see Arn Anderson face to face. Here’s Arn to the awesome Horsemen music but Mongo comes out before Dean can say anything. A LOUD We Want Flair starts up as Dean talks about Benoit being a close friend. Malenko talks about being in New Japan and getting to talk to Arn while he was on a tour. They got to know each other pretty well back then and they have a common work ethic. Anderson got Dean a job in WCW and Malenko never got a chance to thank him.

Dean says Benoit and Mongo believe in Anderson and Dean thinks Arn’s guidance could be what they all need. Malenko holds up the four fingers and that’s enough for Arn. He’s told them this once before and now he’s going to do it with some bass in his voice. You don’t just join the Horsemen. It’s a team you’re chosen for. Being a Horseman means wrestling all the time even when you don’t want to. It means wrestling when you bury your grandmother in the morning and when your son has burned a hole in his foot that you can fit your thumb in.

Dean hasn’t earned the right to hold up four fingers because he doesn’t understand it. Nobody has the fire in them like Arn does and he takes off his shirt. He wants to be out here but his neck won’t let him do it anymore. The Horsemen are over, so let them be over. Amazing stuff here from Anderson, even by his standards.

Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hall, Rude and Vincent come out with Hennig. Page goes into the crowd as usual but here’s Konnan before Page gets to the ring. We take a break and indeed it’s a tag match.

Diamond Dallas Page/Konnan vs. Curt Hennig/Scott Hall

Hennig starts with Konnan but it’s off to Page before any contact. They lock up and fight to the floor where Hennig slaps him in the back of the head. Back in and Page grabs a swinging neckbreaker. A second attempt sends Hennig running to the floor and it’s off to Hall vs. Konnan. Hall grabs the arm for the driving shoulders before slapping Konnan in the back of the head. That must be an AWA move.

Konnan fights up and shoves Hall down to slow the pace. Back up and Konnan grabs a quick X Factor before Hall gets punched back and forth like a pinball. Page comes in but can’t hit the Diamond Cutter but clotheslines Hall down to set up a Konnan chinlock. They get up again and Hall can’t catch a cross body. Instead he lifts Konnan up for a fallaway slam to take over. Off to Hennig for a knee lift before he suckers Page in.

Hall breaks up a hot tag attempt with an elbow to the back and puts on a reverse chinlock. Scott lets go of the hold and lets Konnan up before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Now it’s the hot tag to Page who punches both Hall and Hennig from corner to corner. Hall gets in a cheap shot though and Hennig drops Page with a right hand for two. A great dropkick and right hand both get the same and we take a break.

Back with Page pounding on Hennig in the corner before Hall sneaks in behind him for the fall away slam. Off to the abdominal stretch on Page’s bad ribs before it’s back to Hennig for more stomping. Hall comes back in for a clothesline and sleeper but Page counters into one of his own. Scott suplexes his way to freedom and both guys are down again. The double tag brings in Konnan vs. Hennig as everything breaks down. Rude gets in a cheap shot on Konnan and it’s a PerfectPlex for the pin as Page Diamond Cuts Hall on the floor.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but it was at the end of a very long show. They did the formula stuff here and that’s a good idea for old school guys like Hall and Hennig. It doesn’t really advance anything but it’s nice to see the factions at war actually in a match for a change. Decent enough stuff.

Overall Rating: D. This had its moments but it’s just WAY too long. Like I said, they had two Meng vs. Barbarian segments in the same show. Let that sink in for a minute. The show wasn’t completely horrible but there was no reason for this to be a three hour episode. It would have been much better had they given some of the matches more time, but for some reason they flew through everything instead of letting anything other than the main event develop.

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Bash at the Beach 1998
Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

 

Tonight is all about the celebrities as the main event is DDP/Karl Malone vs. Hollywood Hogan/Dennis Rodman. We’ve also got football player Kevin Greene vs. the Giant in what was supposed to be a tag match. Their original partners are in a world title match as new champion Goldberg defends against Curt Hennig. The midcard matches should be solid, meaning this has potential to be something good. Let’s get to it.

 

 

The opening video focuses on the three major matches tonight with some shots of the beach cut in as well.

 

 

The set is the usual intricate beach setting with sand, lifeguard towers and beach balls. The announcers wearing hula shirts is a nice touch as well.

 

 

We get an intro from the announcers, bragging about all the media attention the show has been getting. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Gene, in a white tuxedo, hypes up the hotline.

 

 

Raven vs. Saturn

 

 

Under Raven’s Rules of course. Saturn is in trunks now instead of jeans. Raven of course has Riggs and Lodi with him, the latter being dressed like Hat Guy. Saturn meets him in the aisle to start and whips Raven into the barricade very hard. He chokes Raven with the shirt and takes it inside for the first time. Saturn slips on the top for a bit but comes back with a quick missile dropkick to put Raven down. An ankle lock is quickly broken by Raven grabbing the ropes, even though there are no rules so there’s nothing the referee can threaten Saturn with.

 

 

Raven avoids a legdrop and hits a quick knee lift to put Saturn down for a breather. It’s already table time (Tony: “He’s got a chair.”) but Raven gets crotched while trying to suplex Saturn over the top and through the table. They head to the floor with Raven hitting the Russian legsweep into the barricade for two, even with Raven’s feet on the ropes. Raven’s sleeper is countered by a jawbreaker and both guys are down again. Saturn is up first for some kicks in the corner and a suplex to take over.

 

 

Now it’s chair time (complete with jokes from Heenan at Tony’s expense) with Saturn hitting a spinning springboard legdrop onto Raven onto the chair for two. Saturn takes out Riggs and Lodi but crushes Nick Patrick in the corner with a springboard leg lariat in the corner. Out to the floor again with Raven being bulldogged into the steps.

 

 

Saturn sets up another table next on top of the original with Raven in between but here’s Kanyon to turn on Saturn, pulling Raven out from between the tables. We hit the shades of gray as Kanyon takes Raven inside and gives him the Flatliner onto the chair. Riggs rolls in Saturn and puts Raven on top for two. Saturn comes back with a Death Valley Driver to Riggs but the Even Flow is enough for the pin for Raven.

 

 

Rating: C. The match was fun but as usual, they’re not actually going anywhere with all this stuff. So many of the feuds just go in circles and that doesn’t help anyone at all in the end. Kanyon and Saturn need to do something soon to capitalize on all these awesome moments they’ve had but it seems like they’re going to be doing the same stuff they’ve been doing for months.

 

 

Here’s Eddie to talk about Chavo’s match with Stevie Ray before his hair vs. hair match with Eddie. This is the first mention of Stevie being involved in the PPV, which might be a good idea. Eddie says Stevie is going to destroy Chavo and Eddie will pick up the pieces.

 

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

 

Wasn’t this supposed to be Juvy vs. Reese II? Kidman looks much cleaner than usual. They lock up to start with Kidman taking over with a headlock. Both guys hit the ropes a few times and they flip to a stalemate. Kidman gets chopped against the ropes and takes down by a headscissors. Lodi pulls Juvy to the floor for a quick beating but Kidman takes out his Flock mate on a dive. Guerrera slides back in and hits a HUGE dive to take both guys down.

 

 

Back in and Kidman slams him down before taking it right back to the floor. Juvy is dropped throat first across the barricade but Kidman misses a charge off the apron to send himself crashing into the barricade as well. They head to the apron with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to slam Kidman onto the floor again. The fans of course get on Lodi instead of paying attention to the match.

 

 

Juvy throws him inside again and stomps Kidman in the corner a bit before loading up a top rope hurricanrana. Kidman counters with a low blow and a top rope sitout spinebuster for a big crash and two. Back up and Kidman chops away but gets rolled up for two. They head to the corner again and Kidman gets crotched on the top rope, allowing Juvy to hit a springboard hurricanrana for a close two. Kidman’s middle rope bulldog gets the same and they trade rollups for two. The Juvy Driver gets two but Kidman slams him down to set up the Seven Year Itch. Juvy rolls away at the last second though and it’s the 450 for the pin.

 

 

Rating: B-. Good match here as you would expect from these guys. It’s nowhere near their best but it’s better than Reese vs. Juvy would have been. This would have been a good choice for the opener as the fans got into it, even though a lot of their heat was directed at Lodi. Fun stuff.

 

 

Konnan is on WCW.com, talking about his family eating fish tacos.

 

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

This is a result of a one off conversation between these two on Nitro. Chavo has a Super Soaker and an inflatable duck around his waist. Eddie comes out to watch so Chavo dedicates the match to him. Chavo avoids contact for awhile before offering a handshake. Stevie shakes his hand…..and Chavo submits. For some reason, Stevie is mad even though he won.

 

 

Time for the hair vs. hair match and Eddie is livid.

 

 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

 

Loser gets a haircut. They lock up to start and Eddie leapfrogs him, only to be bitten on the tights, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie asks the referee to look at the injury but Charles Robinson is just fine thank you. Now Chavo wants to dance a bit. A frustrated Eddie kicks the turnbuckle and injures his foot, sending him out to the floor. Eddie throws in a chair but Chavo sits down in it and asks Eddie to come in. Things settle down a bit and Eddie gets on his knees to ask for a handshake. Chavo takes his hand and pulls Eddie into a clothesline as we actually get going.

 

 

Eddie hides in the corner at the referee’s knees but gets bitten again as the comedy continues. Eddie finally dropkicks the knee out and sends Chavo into the corner to take over. Some shoulders to Chavo’s back in the corner have him in even more trouble and a gutbuster puts him down again. A low dropkick sets up a slingshot hilo to stay on Chavo’s back and the nephew is in trouble. There’s the Gory Special in the middle of the ring but Chavo gets his legs free, only to be clotheslined right back down.

 

 

We hit a camel clutch on Chavo for a bit before Eddie fires off some chops against the ropes. Chavo avoids a dropkick and scores with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Eddie down. Eddie pulls the trunks to send Chavo to the floor and pulls back the mats. The brainbuster is countered though and Chavo suplexes him down onto the exposed concrete. Back in and Chavo goes up again but gets crotched down, setting up an Eddie superplex to put both guys down.

 

 

Back up and Chavo launches Eddie over his head and face first into the turnbuckle but Chavo’s frog splash hits knees. Eddie’s tornado DDT (Chavo’s finisher) puts Chavo down and Eddie goes for the scissors. That’s not cool with Little Naitch so Eddie tries the frog splash to a similar result. Now Chavo goes for the scissors but the referee takes them away, allowing Eddie to get a rollup for the pin.

 

 

Rating: B-. To no surprise, this was a good match. Chavo has grown up a lot in this feud and the matches are getting better and better every time. I’m digging Chavo being crazy yet brilliant with stuff like the handshake submission earlier. He’s gone from nothing to an interesting character which was the idea all along.

 

 

Post match Chavo grabs the electric clippers and shaves his own hair off. He offers to cut Eddie’s as well so they can be twins. Chavo: “You don’t want to cut my hair? What a psycho!” Chavo cuts his own hair and shaves the whole thing off.

 

 

We get an odd few moments during the haircut as Tony talks like the main event is up next before going into a full recap of Jericho vs. Malenko. Instead of either of those, we get this.

 

 

Disco Inferno vs. Konnan

 

 

This is a bonus match and Disco is officially from FUNKYTOWN. Before the match, Alex and Disco imitate Konnan in an unfunny bit. Nash and Luger come out with Konnan which is some serious overkill. They’re just a comedy tag team guys. Nash and Konnan do their full entrances and talking bits as we’re clearly filling time now.

 

 

Konnan takes him down with ease and stomps on Disco’s back. An X-Factor and the rolling lariat put Inferno down again but Wright pulls him to the floor for an attack. Luger Racks Alex, allowing Nash to Jackknife Disco. Konnan puts on the Tequila Sunrise for the easy submission. That’s three people interfering in a two minute match with no backstory for those of you keeping track. This is why we needed another NWO group?

 

 

Kevin Greene vs. The Giant

 

 

Greene is very fired up here. He rolls away from Giant to start and sneaks in a slap to the face. Giant growls at him so Kevin bails to the floor. Greene kicks the ropes to crotch Giant as they come back in before pounding away in the corner. The fans are into this and it helps that Greene could probably get a job on his looks and charisma alone. Giant catches him in a bearhug though and spinebusts him down to take over.

 

 

A Goldberg chant starts up so Giant pounds Greene in the head out of anger. Back up and Giant chops away as Tony talks about the Georgia Dome show getting 39,919 people. Every source I can find says it was over 40,000, so why would WCW understate it? I’ve never understood that.

 

 

Anyway Greene snaps Giant’s throat across the ropes but gets headbutted right back down. They head to the floor with Giant going face first into the barricade a few times before heading back inside. Kevin hits a top rope forearm to drop Giant for two and it’s time to go for the knees. That lasts about two seconds before Greene charges into a chokeslam in the corner for the pin.

 

 

Rating: C+. That’s on a very adjusted scale considering that Greene isn’t a wrestler. Factoring that in, this was some very impressive stuff. Greene looked completely comfortable out there and there wasn’t a single time there where he looked lost. If he wasn’t an incredible football player, he had a career in wrestling for sure. Entertaining stuff here again.

 

 

Hennig says Goldberg doesn’t have the heart to beat him.

 

 

We recap Jericho vs. Malenko with a video from Nitro, showing Malenko getting handcuffed for attacking Jericho after the insults about Dean’s dad.

 

 

We still don’t know who Jericho’s opponent is tonight so he comes to the ring with a cane while wearing a top hat as he promised to do. He teases a softshoe but here’s JJ to interrupt. Dillon thinks he might have made a mistake about Jericho, but we have an opponent. He hasn’t been in the ring in six months, but it’ll be a No DQ match like it was supposed to be with Malenko. Jericho: “Bring out the jobber!”

 

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

 

Rey is clearly limping on the way to the ring but has a VERY muscular physique. Rey fires off forearms in the corner and dropkicks Chris into the ropes. Jericho bails to the floor for a breather but comes back in to go after the bad knee. They head up the aisle and fight on the lifeguard’s before Rey hurricanranas him down onto the “irritating” (Tony’s word) sand.

 

 

Back in and Jericho rolls through a high cross body for two before hitting something like a top rope powerslam for no cover. Jericho grabs a chair and goes after the knee but spends too long mocking Rey, allowing Mysterio to get in some shots to Jericho’s knee. The West Coast Pop is badly botched to the point it looks like a powerbomb on Rey. He bails to the ropes to avoid the Liontamer but here’s the suspended Dean Malenko. The distraction lets Rey snap off a hurricanrana for the pin and the title.

 

 

Rating: D+. This didn’t work very well. It’s not a horrible match but Rey looked very rusty out there. The crowd was happy to see him, but they booked themselves into a corner with Dean. He needs to get his revenge on Jericho and be done with it but this just extends the story out even longer. Hopefully Rey gets better with some more ring time.

 

 

Post match Dean chases Jericho to the back and Arn Anderson slows Jericho down, allowing Malenko to get in some shots.

 

 

TV Title: Booker T vs. Bret Hart

 

 

Booker is defending after being goaded into the match by some Bret chair shots. Bret gets taken to the mat but comes back with right hands to the face to take over. A snapmare gets two for Booker and he sends Bret out to the floor. Bret comes back with a whip into the barricade and we head back inside for the first shots at Booker’s braced knee. Booker grabs a quick spinebuster for a floatover two count but Bret backdrops out him out to the floor.

 

 

Back in and Bret stays on the knee before getting two off a Russian legsweep. Booker gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with a quick side kick and the flapjack. There’s the Spinarooni but Booker doesn’t snap to his feet as he usually does. The missile dropkick gets two as Bret gets his foot on the ropes. Bret goes outside and grabs a chair to stop a diving Booker for a DQ.

 

 

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Really there isn’t much else to say about this match. The match was just there with Bret doing some stuff, Booker coming back, then Bret ending it with the chair. Bret is probably at the top of the list of guys who were wasted in WCW as he went from WWF Champion to losing in a lower card title match inside of eight months. That’s impressive even by WCW standards.

 

 

Bret goes after the knee with the chair and cracks it over the exposed knee cap. He hooks the Heartbreaker around the post and Stevie Ray takes his sweet time in making the save.

 

 

Video on Goldberg’s big night on Monday.

 

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

 

No Rude for the challenger tonight. Goldberg runs him over to start and hits a kind of release belly to belly, sending Curt into the corner. Goldberg uses his legs to take Hennig down and Curt bails to the floor. Back in and Goldberg charges into a boot in the corner but Hennig gets caught in a gorilla press powerslam. Curt goes after the knee with a chop block and some cannonballs. The HennigPlex gets two and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to retain the title.

 

 

Rating: D. You know all those other Goldberg matches? Read whatever I said about any of those and swap out whatever that opponent’s name for Curt Hennig.

 

 

We recap the main event without words. Basically the basketball players don’t like each other because they played in the finals twice in a row and Hogan said some stuff about Page that DDP didn’t like.

 

 

Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone vs. Dennis Rodman/Hollywood Hogan

 

 

Page and Malone have matching attire, which look like they jumped into a vat of hot glue with their jeans on. They come out to some hip hop song that keeps saying “feel the bang.” Malone looks like he’s been carved out of granite while Rodman is in a t-shirt and jeans. The basketball players get us going but first Hogan has to take off Rodman’s glasses. Rodman runs to the ropes to hide and the fans are all over him. That works so well that they do it a second time. A test of strength doesn’t happen as we hit two minutes into the match.

 

 

Rodman grabs a headlock but bails to the floor when Malone charges at him. Off to Hogan for a posedown with Hollywood getting frustrated. Malone hooks a kind of standing chinlock (imagine a left arm Rock Bottom but he clasps his hands together and squeezes) before slamming Hogan down. We’re five minutes in now and it’s off to Page. DDP gets Rodman and shoves him down off a lockup. A shoulder puts Rodman down again as the stalling continues. They spit at each other and Rodman armdrags him down. Somehow we’re seven minutes into this match.

 

 

They hit the ropes a bit and collide to send both guys down. Back to the headlock by Rodman but Page reverses into one of his own. The fans are clearly getting restless. Rodman leapfrogs Page twice and they collide again to give us more laying down. Malone comes in and kicks at Rodman, sending him over to Hogan for the tag. Karl hooks a top wristlock and shoves Hogan to the mat. Hogan complains of a hair pull and Rodman gets in a cheap shot to get to the whole tag match idea for the first time.

 

 

Hogan chokes a lot and slams Malone down before raking the boot over Malone’s eyes. Rodman comes in with some elbow drops before it’s back to Hogan for a chinlock. Here’s Rodman again for some double teaming and a belly to back suplex from Hogan. Hollywood misses an elbow though and it’s hot tag to Page. DDP comes in with a top rope clothesline to Hogan but a cheap shot from Rodman lets the NWO take over again. Hogan chokes away in the corner with his boot followed by a running clothesline.

 

 

Rodman comes in for a double big boot and more choking before it’s back to Hogan for right hands in the corner. Page hits a quick elbow but Rodman breaks up the tag attempt and puts on a front facelock. Malone plays cheerleader on the apron and we get the unseen and phantom tag tropes to space the match out even more. The big boot puts Page down but he avoids the legdrop and it’s hot tag off to Malone.

 

 

Clotheslines all around put the NWO down and they both get slams. There’s a double noggin knocker followed by Hogan’s head going into the buckle. A big boot drops Hogan and it’s off to Page for a running Diamond Cutter (Hogan landed on his hands, making the move look horrible). Malone Diamond Cuts Rodman but Disciple sneaks in with a Stunner to Page, giving Hogan the pin and a face pop for some reason.

 

 

Rating: F. This was about what you knew it was going to be, though it could have been FAR worse. Malone was clearly taking this seriously which is more than you can say for most celebrities in matches. Rodman looked like your usual celebrity wrestler: decent at the one or two really basic moves he used but pretty worthless otherwise. I’ve read before that this was originally booked to go nearly an hour, which makes me shiver in fear. I guess Hogan needed this win as a thank you for the mainstream attention he brought in?

 

 

Malone gives Disciple and the referee Diamond Cutters (good ones too) and the NWO celebrates like this is a big deal.

 

 

The announcers talk a bit to wrap things up.

 

 

Overall Rating: C. This is the WCW PPV formula but a better version than usual. The earlier stuff is mostly good while the main events cripple it, though Goldberg’s match was what the fans wanted to see and was executed as well as it could have been. The problem with the company is the same as always though: the main stories aren’t going anywhere. The tag match doesn’t change anything here and everyone involved in it now needs to start a new story. It’s a good show overall, but as usual turn it off before the main event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

 

 

My newest book is pretty self-explanatory.  It’s the complete history of In Your House, a WWF pay per view series that ran from May 1995 to April 1999.  The series covers most of the New Generation and the first half of the Attitude Era and everything in between.  There are some absolute masterpieces included in this series, ranging from the first Hell in a Cell to Canadian Stampede to Austin vs. Dude Love II to Shawn vs. Mankind and many others.

Also included is a look back at the story that kept the company afloat when WCW’s boot was over the WWF’s throat: the Border War.  The majority of the story took place at In Your House, including the final blowoff in Calgary.  There’s also a good portion of the most famous feud of all time with the corporate Vince McMahon trying to suppress the rebellion being waged by Stone Cold Steve Austin.  The feud defined the Attitude Era and carried the company to heights never believed possible.

In Your House was one of the most important pay per view series of all time and features some of the most important matches in the company’s history.  This new book looks at every single show in the series and includes detailed history and analysis of each show, broken down match by match and segment by segment.  The book runs about 320 pages on a Kindle or about 170 single spaced pages in Word.

 

The book is available from Amazon for just and can be picked up in any country that has Amazon.

It can be found at the American Amazon here.

At the UK Amazon here.

And at the Canadian Amazon here.

 

If you’re in another country and would like to pick it up, just search “KB’s In Your House” and it should be the first thing that pops up.

 

If you don’t have a Kindle or E-Reader, there are 100% free apps that can be downloaded from Amazon, found here.
Please check it out and I hope you enjoy it.

 

KB

Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

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