Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2016
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Roadblock and the big story for this week seems to be the main roster debut (well full time debut at least) of Sami Zayn. Tonight we’ll get to see Zayn and his longtime rival Kevin Owens together on MizTV, possibly to set up something between the two (or three) of them at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tonight it’s Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler/Usos vs. the Wyatt Family.

MizTV gets things going this week with Miz showing us a clip of Zayn running out to save Neville from an Owens apron bomb. Sami comes out first and thankfully it’s still to that rocking Worlds Apart theme. There’s just something about that Sami Zayn entrance that makes me smile and you know it’s going to be something fun. The OLE chants cut Miz off to start but he eventually asks who Sami Zayn is.

Sami talks about doing this for fourteen years and being in NXT for the last few years but Miz cuts him off by actually yelling CUT. Miz wants to hear about Sami’s relationship with Kevin Owens. The story goes back thirteen years with both of them starting in Montreal. They’ve been linked together as friends, tag partners, opponents and enemies over the years and now they’re here as pure enemies. Sami isn’t sure how we got here but Owens delayed his main roster arrival with that shoulder injury.

That means it’s time for Owens to come out and Sami looks sad. Kevin says what he did to Sami back in NXT was what was best for his career. Sami was signed two years before Owens but Owens was on Raw a year before Sami, so who was wrong? What happened at the Royal Rumble was personal though because Owens was the victim there. Zayn gets right to the point: he’s here to stay and wants that Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

The fans want to see them fight right now but Owens isn’t so keen on the idea. Kevin doesn’t think Sami belongs in the same ring and goes to walk, only to run right into Neville. Owens has someone else to worry about because Neville thinks that Intercontinental Title would look fine around his waist. That means it’s time for Miz to say it’s his show and that he deserves a title shot of his own. Sami and Miz start going at it and we’re ready for a tag match after the break.

Sami Zayn/Neville vs. Kevin Owens/The Miz

Miz takes Sami down by the arm to start but Zayn spins up and grabs the arm to take over. It’s off to Neville for an arm wringer of his own until Miz drives him into the corner for the tag to Owens. The champ gets hurricanranaed down and we get Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens for the first time in WWE. That lasts all of three seconds though as Owens bails to the corner and it’s back to Miz for another armbar. That fits Owens as a coward very well so all is right so far.

Neville splashes Miz but gets low bridged to the floor as we take a break. Back with Owens taking Neville back into the corner for the tag off to Miz and some stomping. We hit the chinlock for a good while before the Reality Check gets a near fall. Owens demands a tag but has to settle for watching Neville send Miz out to the floor. The hot tag brings in Zayn for the running clotheslines and a tornado DDT for Miz. Now we get the tag to Owens….or at least we would if he didn’t walk out on the match. Miz takes the exploder suplex into the corner and the Helluva Kick gives Sami the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C+. That was fine and it’s cool to see Owens and Zayn go from the indies and make it all the way here, likely followed by a title match at Wrestlemania. Unfortunately it seems like we’re going to see them fighting with a bunch of other people because the idea of a singles match for the title has been long forgotten for whatever reason. These four would be fine but you can almost guarantee Ziggler and a few others being added. Hopefully there aren’t any ladders involved but that seems to be a Wrestlemania tradition these days.

Rock Wrestlemania video.

R-Truth goes to see Goldust in the bathroom but Goldust doesn’t need a helping hand. Goldust isn’t interested so Truth hands him toilet paper. It’s still no though.

Long recap of HHH and Dean from Monday.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Rematch from Raw with Lana sitting on the announcers’ table for commentary. Lana tells Saxton to shut up because she’s watching the match as Brie is taken to the floor and sent into the barricade. Back in and we hit the cobra clutch while Lana is asked for her definition of a true woman. Lana: “Look at me.” Brie comes back with a middle rope dropkick and the YES Kicks, followed by the YES Lock for the submission at 2:14.

Post match Brie shouts at Lana but goes to knee Summer instead, allowing Lana to give her a second Bella Buster.

Video on Shane McMahon’s in ring career. It’s the same one from Raw.

Here’s Chris Jericho, carrying a Y2AJ shirt over his shoulder, to explain his actions on Monday. The shirt is sat in front of a trashcan as Jericho asks if this is what he gets. The fans are booing him and choosing to cheer AJ Styles. Jericho did what he did on Monday because of those chants. They made him feel like a piece of trash that belongs in this can because he’s still the best in the world at what he does. Jericho lists off his accomplishments, including perhaps the most impressive: he hasn’t been hurt in seventeen years.

After all that though, the fans still chant for AJ Styles. Even after last Monday’s classic, the fans were still chanting for AJ. Jericho has delivered classic after classic in seventeen years and he can’t get a cheer. He’s seen it time after time: someone comes in and could be the best in the world but then they leave after three months because they’re not the real thing. AJ has been here for six weeks (that doesn’t seem possible) and the steam is still coming off his WWE coffee.

Jericho has seen this before and he’s going to be standing around laughing because AJ is going to be just another bust. The fans chant for AJ so Jericho holds up the shirt. Y2AJ was something special but the fans ruined it by chant for AJ. It’s all their fault so the shirt is set on fire because it’s all over for AJ. Lawler: “See this is symbolism Byron.” Jericho mocks the AJ Styles chants as the flames keep coming up. Really, really good stuff here and I’m wanting to see the match now. Well done.

Of note here, the spoilers said that AJ came out here but Ascension of all people cut him off so Jericho could escape. I was wondering how that would make sense on TV but they didn’t bother showing it.

Big Boss Man Hall of Fame video. Godfather continues to be the most out of place name in a class in years.

Lucha Dragons vs. King Barrett/Sheamus

Sheamus and Kalisto get things going with the big man offering some very rude applause. A hurricanrana puts Sheamus down and it’s off to Cara as the dropkicks get going. Lawler thinks it’s a matter of time because bigger is always better. The monkey flip into the splash sends Sheamus out to the floor and the Lucha Dragons dance gets on Lawler’s nerves. We see Ryback watching from the back as Sheamus punches Kalisto in the ribs to take over. Kalisto gets sent outside and we take a break.

Back with Barrett pounding on Kalisto in the corner before it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus comes in with a running knee to the ribs and a powerslam. Lawler calls Kalisto a gamer but only means he plays video games like WWE2K16. I figured that’s where he was going but it made me chuckle anyway.

Kalisto avoids a charge in the corner to send Sheamus into the post and it’s hot tag to Cara. Everything speeds up and a springboard back elbow drops Barrett. Cara’s standing Lionsault drops Sheamus and a dive takes him out again. The Swanton is loaded up but Rusev shoves him off the top, setting up the Bull Hammer to give Barrett the pin at 10:43.

Rating: C. Well at least the champion didn’t get pinned. This is such a strange dynamic as you have the Dragons as a worthless team but Kalisto was white hot there for a little bit. However, much like so many other things, Alberto Del Rio has crippled whatever momentum he might have had. The matches were fine but Del Rio is such a heat killer. It also didn’t help that Kalisto got pinned in so many meaningless tag matches while he was champion because that’s how WWE rolls. They wouldn’t want him to get hot or something. I mean, he’s just the US Champion after all.

Ryback still thinks that two little men can’t beat two big men. The Dragons tried but not all men are created equal.

Last year’s main event is a Wrestlemania moment.

Very long recap of Vince and Shane from Raw.

The Usos talk about watching the Dudley Boyz twenty years ago as children but now they’re grown men who don’t respect them. Dolph Ziggler comes in and says he isn’t worried about the repercussions from insulting Stephanie on Monday. Random but ok. Dean joins them to say they’re ready for the Wyatts.

Wyatt Family vs. Dolph Ziggler/Usos/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Ambrose get things going with Luke clotheslining him down and stopping to pose. The good guys take him into the corner but the Usos’ wristlocks don’t quite work on someone as strong as Harper. Back with Harper stomping on Jey in the corner but another wristlock is enough to bring in Ziggler. That’s something WWE really needs to work on: so many people use the same basic moves like that wristlock or a kick to the thigh or a superkick. Mix that stuff up as I’m sure there are enough moves to go around.

Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and it’s off to Bray for the real beating. Strowman comes in for a big forearm to the chest, setting up a chinlock from Harper. The Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb but Dolph rolls through into a sunset flip for two. The hot tag brings in Jey as things speed up, which unfortunately isn’t getting the crowd into the match.

A good looking superkick puts Rowan in the corner and we get stereo Umaga attacks followed by the double dives over the top. Jey’s Superfly Splash hits knees though and it’s off to Ambrose for the real hot tag. The standing elbow drop gets two on Erick and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Ziggler can’t superkick Strowman down but Dean sidesteps a charge and gives Rowan Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: C+. This started slowly but picked up a lot near the end to help things out a lot. I don’t often notice this but the crowd really didn’t care here. Can you blame them though, as apparently they had four matches on the entire show? I’m a sucker for parades of finishers though and Dean getting the pin over someone not named Bray was the right finish.

Overall Rating: B. Four good to watchable (with the Divas) matches and some storyline advancement with Sami vs. Owens gives me all I need to see on a Thursday night. The best thing Smackdown can do is give a focus to the midcard acts instead of the World Title and McMahon stories and that’s what we got here. I liked the show a lot more than Raw, though I wonder how much of that is due to being able to fast forward through the recaps. There really shouldn’t be that many on a given Smackdown but the McMahons drive business around here, no matter how absurd the story is.

Results

Sami Zayn/Neville b. Kevin Owens/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz

Brie Bella b. Summer Rae – YES Lock

King Barrett/Sheamus b. Lucha Dragons – Bull Hammer to Cara

Dean Ambrose/Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. Wyatt Family – Dirty Deeds to Rowan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2016
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this could be interesting as the company is hardly on a creative roll at the moment and we’re in one of the biggest smark havens in the world. We’re also five days away from Roadblock which suddenly has the potential to change the entire Wrestlemania card with less than a month before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince vowing to renounce Shane as his son after Wrestlemania. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting or a major plot point as the McMahons are always arguing.

Here’s Shane to get things going. Shane sucks up to the Chicago crowd and it’s clear that they’re excited to see him. He was watching Raw last week and heard what Undertaker was saying about his match. Shane respects Undertaker completely but he wasn’t surprised by what Vine said about him after the fact. Vince has lost touch with both his reality and his grandsons but Shane is ready to stop it all. At Wrestlemania, he stops all the backstage politics and all the authority. Shane is tired of seeing all the talent being held back with no breaks and all the breaks given to people with no talent.

The gong goes off but it’s a strutting Vince instead. Vince laughs at the fans for not being happy to see him so the CM PUNK chants start up. The boss lets it die off and talks about how Stephanie is getting everything. Earlier today Vince was looking at a picture of Shane at his first wrestling show and of course we get to see it on the screen. Vince pulls the actual photo from somewhere and crushes the frame like he’ll do at Wrestlemania.

After Shane loses, Vince will be able to wrap his arms around his grandsons and prove to them that their family isn’t a bunch of losers because his greatest creation is going to destroy his greatest failure. Vince sends out the security but Shane actually beats them up to a HUGE ovation, most of which isn’t deserved.

The segment was better than most of anything we saw last week but I’m still really not sure what the heck they’re fighting about. Thankfully they’ve seemed to drop the whole lockbox concept which wasn’t working to say the least but Shane having a proxy would work better as an idea.

Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Non-title so look for another upset. Owens drives him into the corner to start and stomps away, meaning he survives longer than he did against Neville a few weeks back. Kevin: “Come on mate!” Neville comes back with kicks to send Owens to the floor but misses a dive, allowing Kevin to send him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock, only to be flipped over with a German suplex.

The Cannonball is countered with a nice enziguri to knock Owens to the floor, setting up a great looking shooting star off the top to the outside. The fans REALLY like that one but don’t care as much for the standing shooting star press for two back inside. Neville charges into a boot to the face but rolls away from a springboard moonsault. A superkick sets up the middle rope Phoenix Splash for a very, very close two. Thankfully Neville stays on him but Owens grabs a rollup with the trunks for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Those high spots from Neville helped carry this, leading us to the more important ending of Owens winning. The cheating helps but I was worried that they would job him AGAIN here to set up something at Wrestlemania. It’s also nice to see Neville getting some prominent spots instead of just in a nothing six man tag.

Post match Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but SAMI ZAYN runs in and cleans house, likely setting up a big Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania.

Video from the Rock saying Wrestlemania is free for new WWE Network subscribers.

Long recap of HHH and Ambrose from last week.

Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder (with a beard) are in the back when Stephanie comes up. Stephanie thanks Ziggler for taking down a tweet about the Authority earlier today but Dolph mentions taking down the Authority a few years back. Stephanie doesn’t remember that and reminds Ziggler that she’s his boss. As if we could forget as that’s pretty much her whole character. Stephanie likes these flashbacks and gives Ziggler an elimination tag against three members of the League of Nations. Oh and Ziggler won’t have any partners.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Total Divas match, meaning we get a clip from tomorrow’s show with Nikki telling Brie how to live. Summer takes her down to start but Brie comes right back with the YES Kicks and a horrible looking BRIE MODE knee. Brie misses a middle rope cross body but here’s Lana for a distraction, allowing Summer to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:05. They haven’t used that finish as much lately so it’s not as annoying here.

Post match Lana comes to the ring and gives Brie a Bella Buster for some of her first ever physicality.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the second hour. He gets right to the point: this Saturday he’s hijacking the car on the road to Wrestlemania by being HHH to win the title. Dean talks about all the things he’s going to get to do like being on the cover of People Magazine and throwing out the first pitch at baseball games.

After Wrestlemania, HHH is going to have to buy Dean a new suit and lapel pins….which he doesn’t know how to work. Actually Dean isn’t going to do any of these things that come along with being WWE Champion but he loves the idea of being WWE Champion and getting to come out here and fight everyone every single night.

Cue HHH who threatens to beat Ambrose up again. Dean says he’ll take another trip to the announcers’ table and hold that WWE Championship up high. Dean: “When I do that, you can suck it.” HHH calls Roadblock a clever name that marketing came up with because Dean is at best a speed bump or a pothole. Dean wants to fight right now but HHH fights on his own time. As for tonight, Dean gets to face Bray Wyatt. That gives him a preview of Sunday where he learns that the Authority always wins.

Dolph Ziggler vs. League of Nations

Elimination rules with Del Rio as the odd man out. Barrett gets things going with the King pounding away and getting two off the Winds of Change. The knees in the ropes (which are similar to the ones Shane threw earlier tonight) set up the ten forearms from Sheamus, even though Ziggler started to fall down in the ropes. Rusev comes in for a running splash against the ropes for two. At least he isn’t talking about how much he loves Summer or Lana at the time as that feud (which wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be) is best forgotten.

A surprisingly good dropkick gets two for Rusev and it’s back to Barrett for some forearms to the back in the corner. Sheamus comes in and slowly stomps away, followed by the knee to the ribs. Barrett charges into the running DDT and goes shoulder first into the post, setting up a superkick for the first elimination. Sheamus takes a superkick as well but Rusev breaks it up. The Brogue Kick misses but Rusev kicks Ziggler in the head, setting up the Brogue for the pin 6:39.

Rating: C-. This could have been much worse as I can live with Ziggler getting one pin, especially since the League didn’t have to make an immediate save given how the rules were set up. The League is good as the enforcers for the Authority and roles like this but I’m not sure how much longer they can survive given how they’ve been treated lately.

We look back at Shane and Vince from earlier.

Video on Shane McMahon’s in-ring career.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks bicker about who would have won last week.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks

Can’t they bring up Blue Pants and Deonna Purrazzo instead of making us watch these four again? Charlotte and Ric are at ringside because Flair needs a paycheck this badly. Cole talks about how we’ve seen this match before. At least they’re just acknowledging that their matches are repetitive now. Becky gets thrown into the heel corner to start and a right hand puts her down again. Tamina misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Sasha as everything breaks down. The Bank Statement (Cole: “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MCGREGGOR!”) puts Tamina away at 2:00.

Post match Charlotte comes in and beats down the winners.

R-Truth is delivering a pizza to Goldust (who thankfully was just right there when Truth came in) and asks to be his partner again. Goldust says a good partner would know that he was lactose intolerant and slams the pizza down. Mark Henry comes up and takes the pizza.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho

New Day is defending. Before the match, Big E. wants to talk about the matching tattoos they’ve gotten but apparently only he got the blue and purple unicorn. Of course Big E. was just joking until Jericho cuts him off and saves some face. Jericho and Styles now have Y2AJ shirts. Kofi gets sent to the floor to start and the challengers hit a nice double plancha to take us to an early break.

Back with Jericho in trouble but nailing a dropkick to Big E. An enziguri drops Kingston and there’s the hot tag to AJ. The moonsault reverse DDT hits as close to seamlessly as I’ve ever seen but AJ springboards into the Midnight Hour for two as Chris saves. The Lionsault crushes Kofi and AJ adds the springboard 450 for two with Big E. pulling Kingston to the floor. AJ drops Big E. with a slingshot forearm but misses the backfist to Kofi.

Back to Jericho who counters Trouble in Paradise into the Walls. AJ stops Woods from making the save but gets driven hard into the barricade. Big E. gets back up for the tag so Jericho tries the Walls on him, which doesn’t quite work. Instead Jericho sends Big E. into the post but the Codebreaker is countered into the Big Ending for the clean pin to retain at 11:38.

Rating: B+. They had me a few times in this one and the action after the hot tag to AJ never really stopped. This was more of a showcase for AJ than anything else with the springboards looking as smooth as they have yet in WWE. Jericho getting pinned clean opens up a few doors but I’m not sure where New Day goes at Wrestlemania, unless Bullet Club gets a very fast callup. AJ and Jericho could go various places as well.

Post match AJ and Jericho get an ovation but Jericho turns heel with a Codebreaker to Styles. That might have worked better if Jericho hadn’t just lost clean but at least we get a FOURTH match between these two. I mean, just a thought but maybe you shouldn’t do a (potential) Wrestlemania match three times before Wrestlemania. Jericho gives him two more Codebreakers for good measure before stuffing the Y2AJ shirt in AJ’s mouth.

Back from a break with Jericho complaining about the fans chanting for AJ. They can enjoy it while they can because they won’t be chanting for AJ Styles anymore.

Tyler Breeze vs. Kalisto

Non-title. Breeze blasts him in the face to start as the announcers talk about Jericho. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and it’s the corkscrew cross body into the Salida Del Sol for the pin on Breeze at 2:17.

Big Boss Man Hall of Fame announcement. I’m so happy over this one.

Kalisto is in the back and talks about idolizing people like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero at Wrestlemania. Cue Ryback to ask why he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match yet. Kalisto might be one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in WWE today but that’s not what we’re talking about here. Ryback says Kalisto has a mask just like a superhero but that’s not how things work in the real world. Kalisto needs to be the US Champion on his own instead of as one half of the Lucha Dragons. Watch him do this on his own tonight. No match was made here and it felt more like a way to split up the Dragons (thank goodness).

Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how sad it is that Ryback doesn’t want to be part of a team. He can’t play team dodgeball (like on Heath Slater’s new show Game Night on WWE.com) or be a Ghostbuster, but above all that he can’t be a Social Outcast. Tonight the Axeman cometh, which means they all start making strange noises and chopping the air with their hand.

Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

This is joined in progress after a break (because reasons) with Axel getting in his jobber offense until the Thesz press allows Ryback to slam Axel head first into the mat. A CM Punk style running knee in the corner (complete with a Go To Sleep motion) sends Axel to the floor but an Outcasts distraction lets Axel get in a cheap shot for two. Just like last week, Ryback pounds him down into near unconsciousness, setting up the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:08. Again, no reason for this to go to a break before the match.

We recap the opening again.

Stephanie comes in to see Vince and asks what happens if Shane wins.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray still has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but he does talk about conquering the conqueror this Saturday. Tonight he’ll use Dean as an example. No Family with Bray this week. Some early elbows put Bray in trouble and Dean cranks on both legs at the same time. Dean drives in even more elbows to Bray’s head in the corner until Bray runs him over with the cross body as we take a break.

Back with Bray suplexing Dean to keep control before taking him outside for a double clothesline. They get back in with Dean hammering away and trying the rebound lariat, only to have Bray take Dean’s head off because he’s smart enough to figure out that Dean is doing the exact same thing he always does. Dean knocks him out to the floor but the suicide dive is countered into Sister Abigail. That’s countered as well so Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade. Back in again and Dean scores with the rebound lariat followed by the top rope elbow, only to have the Wyatts come in for the DQ at 11:50.

Rating: C+. I was digging this one until the ending that you kind of had to know was coming. At least they didn’t have either of them doing a clean job here as I was kind of expecting them to. Bray countering the rebound lariat was a nice touch too because wrestlers being smart is always cool to see. Good main event though it’s more of a storytelling device than anything else.

Post match the Wyatts destroy Dean until HHH comes out. Bray stares at HHH and even touches the title (fans: “YES!”) before the Family leaves. HHH loads up the announcers’ table but walks into Dirty Deeds. Dean holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While still not a very good show, this was WAY better than what they did last week. It’s amazing how much better a show is when you have anything besides Stephanie reminding us (AGAIN) that she’s the most amazing thing since that time Randy Savage woke up Hulk Hogan with a top rope elbow because Hogan only Hulked Up from finishers. The problem here though is that this Wrestlemania really isn’t very strong and there’s only so much they can do to build that up, especially with the lack of people actually appearing.

I can’t imagine anything big happens at Roadblock but maybe they’ll throw in a big (and possibly much needed) curve ball. That being said, the idea of Reigns not appearing until Wrestlemania (as Raw is in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Brooklyn before then) might not be out of the question either. It really is a weird build to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what’s going to happen before we get there. In this case though, I’m not liking that feeling.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Summer Rae b. Brie Bella – Rollup

League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Tamina/Naomi – Bank Statement to Tamina

New Day b. Chris Jericho/AJ Styles – Big Ending to Jericho

Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze – Salida Del Sol

Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock

Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 29, 2016
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the first Raw ever on February 29 and the big story would seem to be Undertaker showing up to address his match with Shane McMahon. Other than that we should get more between HHH and Roman Reigns, assuming Reigns is back from his nose injury at HHH’s hands last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH beating Reigns down last week to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH to get things going. HHH talks about how only a handful of us actually have any authority and the rest of us all have an authority figure in their lives. Every single one of us hate it (much like opening Raw with a long promo that isn’t likely to lead anywhere) and want to fight back but we’re all afraid. That fear keeps everything in line but people like Reigns decided to not listen to that fear.

Now Reigns is sitting at home breathing through his mouth and hoping he can still go to Wrestlemania. Cue Ambrose to a nice reaction from the fans as things slow down. Dean just got off the phone with Reigns, who says hi but he’s also coming for HHH. They make some Oscar references to recap Ambrose challenging Lesnar last week and Shane having to fight Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Ambrose asks who HHH wanted to win the match at Fastlane but the champ brushes it off by saying Dean wasn’t a factor in that match. Dean gets right in HHH’s face and says he’s the last person HHH wants to face at Wrestlemania. The boss finally gets that Dean really is crazy but Ambrose can see it in him: HHH is scared.

HHH thinks that’s the smell of clean clothes and power that Dean isn’t familiar with, which draws a YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM chant. Dean gets right to the point and asks for a title shot but HHH says that shouting RIGHT NOW doesn’t earn you a title shot. He’ll give Dean an answer at the end of the night (with Dean clarifying that HHH means by the end of the show) but first of all, Dean has to fight Alberto Del Rio.

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

The winner gets Charlotte (at ringside with Ric Flair) for the title at Wrestlemania. Just get to the double pin now. They start fast with some pinfall reversal sequences and get some near falls each. Neither submission works and we’ve got a stalemate as both of them are trying for their Wrestlemania moment. Not the title or anything, but a Wrestlemania moment.

Becky is sent outside and taken down with a baseball slide, allowing Sasha to send her into the post as we take a break. Back with Sasha driving two knees into Becky’s chest for another near fall as JBL keeps up the line of it all being about going to Wrestlemania. Becky grabs an exploder suplex and stops a charge with a boot to the face. A missile dropkick gets two for Lynch but Sasha is up first and heads up top. Becky is right there though and tries a superplex, only to get countered into a sunset flip. Sasha lays back for no apparent reason and it’s a double pin at 9:54.

Rating: C+. This was much more like the NXT format for a women’s match and it was better as a result. Instead of having them sit around and do chinlocks for three minutes, these two were actually telling a story and making things work far better. The ending was predictable but I’d rather have all three of them in the match instead of just Sasha.

We don’t have a winner and Charlotte is happy.

The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about insanity meaning to try something more than once and expecting different results. Well maybe he’s insane then because he wants to save us all. He had an idea which is turning into a plan and can be used to save us all. Run.

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

This is over an argument on the pre-show last week over Ziggler asking what Miz has done lately. Let me repeat that. DOLPH ZIGGLER is asking what someone has done lately. Ziggler starts punching away in the corner but gets whipped hard into the corner to set up a rollup…..for the pin at 1:05. Well that’s surprising. Nice but surprising.

Long recap of last week’s opening segment with Shane McMahon returning.

Here’s Stephanie for her acceptance speech for the Vincent J. McMahon Award. We get some classic heel tactics as she asks for the respect that she deserves during her speech. The fans chant for Shane but apparently he’s not here tonight, just like he won’t be here after Wrestlemania. Stephanie holds the trophy like a baby and talks about all the sacrifices she makes, only to be greeted with more WE WANT SHANE chants.

She turns the podium over and goes on a rant about how horrible Shane is and what it means that people cheer for him. Stephanie goes on about how Shane has been gone for years, which proves how little he cares about this whole place. This is a speech you could have said about the Rock before he returned in 2011 with some of the exact same lines.

Apparently it eats Shane alive that Stephanie and Hunter are married and that she has so much power. Shane’s kids can be in charge later on but they’ll have to fight to earn that power. She hits the screeching voice and talks about how we all need to show her respect and bow down to the queen before leaving. To recap: no Shane, no interruption and no one getting anything in on Stephanie as she hypes up…..herself. Oh yeah everything is normal again.

Lucha Dragons vs. Rusev/Sheamus

Of course this is still going. JBL: “The League is like the Four Horsemen. They just need a JJ Dillon.” Cara sunset flips Sheamus for two to start but charges into an Irish Curse. Rusev comes in to crush Cara’s head before Sheamus comes back in for an armbar. I’m not sure on having a power guy like Sheamus using an arm hold. That doesn’t feel right.

Cara comes back with a tornado DDT and the hot tag brings in Kalisto to clean house with his bouncing offense. The hurricanrana driver (minus most of the drive) gets two on Rusev and Cara dives onto Barrett. That earns Cara a Brogue Kick though and Kalisto takes Sheamus down with a flip dive. Back in and Rusev kicks Kalisto in the head for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. You can’t make this stuff up. I mean, as soon as the Dragons came out you knew Kalisto was going to take the pin if his team lost because we need to protect SIN CARA for some reason. I’m really not sure what we’re going with the League as they’re just floating, so yeah of course let one of them pin the US Champion.

Del Rio gives Kalisto the top rope double stomp post match.

Immediately after the match, Cole: “Of course Total Divas airs every Tuesday night on E!” I’m glad they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the show is more important than the US Title.

Renee Young and Natalya do a commercial for Subway. Eh it’s a big check for WWE for thirty seconds of Raw. It’s hard to complain about something like that.

We recap the opening segment.

Ryback vs. Adam Rose

Before the match, Ryback talks about wanting the spotlight and promises to take it for himself. Ryback throws him around the ring to start but Rose gets in a running kick to the chest for two. Normally I would say there’s no way WWE is going to have Ryback lose a week after a heel turn but you never can tell these days. The Backpack Stunner breaks up a chinlock and Ryback pounds away on the mat until Rose is out cold. The Shell Shock is good for the pin at 2:04.

We recap Brock’s antics last week, including laying out Ambrose and accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho

Non-title. After a break, New Day says they’re the greatest three man team of all time and will fight anyone who disagrees. They aren’t a loose collection of talents like the League of Nations and are better than any great team like Sonic and Tails, Snoop and Dr. Dre, Edge and Christian or Cheerios and milk. Jericho and Kofi get things going with Chris nailing a nice dropkick. Stereo dives to the champs take us to a break.

Back with Styles in trouble and taking the Unicorn Stampede thanks to some Woods interference. AJ gets dropped onto the barricade and Kofi pulls out a card to show that he has AJ’s number. Back in and the Pele drops Kofi long enough for the hot tag to bring in Jericho. Everything breaks down with Jericho destroying the champs but having to kick out of a rollup. The Lionsault gets two on Kofi with Big E. making the save, only to get taken down by the springboard forearm. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Walls of Jericho to make Kofi tag at 8:59.

Rating: C. It’s been a bad night for champions. I’m so glad they’re putting Jericho and AJ together for a title program because having AJ face, say, Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania and letting them go nuts for fifteen minutes would just be a disaster. Normally I would complain about Jericho and Styles winning like two matches and suddenly being a top team, but that’s the extent of the division these days so it’s not the biggest problem.

Post match Jericho and Styles say they’re officially a thing and want a title shot next week on Raw.

Here’s Vince for a chat before Undertaker comes out. Vince talks about how the stars would have to align to have Shane come out here in charge on Raw the night after Wrestlemania. None of that is going to happen though because only fools believe in miracles. Vince introduces Undertaker and after three more Wrestlemanias have passed, he finally gets down to the ring.

Vince talks about how Undertaker is his destroyer but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Once that door closes, Shane’s blood is going to be on Vince’s hands, not Undertaker’s. That’s it, after Undertaker might have been in the ring for ninety seconds. Vince isn’t done yet though, as he says Shane has lost his inheritance and is out of his will. All of Vince’s money is now going to Stephanie and Shane is no longer his son.

We look back at the Dudley Boyz beating up the Usos three weeks back.

Jey Uso vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Jey goes right after him with right hands and drives Bubba up against the ropes for some shoulders to the ribs. A superkick puts Bubba down but D-Von pulls out a table to blast Jimmy in the face. Jey superkicks D-Von but eats a Bubba Bomb for the pin at 2:11.

Goldust comes up to R-Truth in the back but Truth cuts him off to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t want to see what costume Goldust has or what song he has to sing because he’s done with all this. Goldust walks away sad.

Kevin Owens vs. Big Show

Non-title and a rematch from Smackdown where Owens won by countout. They’re quickly on the floor with Owens hitting a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT off the apron for nine. Show slides back in but has to kick out of the backsplash at two. Owens goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a countout to give Big Show the win at 2:36.

Brie Bella is here and talking about Bryan when Lana of all people interrupts. Lana talks about how she’s a real woman with a real figure while Brie is married to a tiny goat man. A match is actually teased.

Brie Bella vs. Naomi

I’m so glad they teased this. Brie starts in on the arm to start and works on an armbar until Tamina trips her up. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Naomi and we hit the double arm crank. The split legged moonsault misses but Naomi is able to hit the dancing kicks. She misses the big kick to the head though and Brie is able to come back with the YES Kicks. Tamina offers another distraction though and Naomi puts on a crucifix to pull back on Brie’s arms while cranking on the neck for the submission at 4:07.

Rating: D-. They’re just not very good. I really don’t know how else to put it but these women really aren’t very good. Naomi is an athletic freak with no idea how to use her athleticism and Brie…..well she’s…..there’s no other way to put it other than she isn’t a good wrestler. As in she fails at almost every aspect in the ring and it’s getting harder to sit through her matches while she sponges off Bryan’s head.

Lana comes out to shake her head at Brie.

Fabulous Freebirds Hall of Fame video.

We look back at Becky vs. Sasha from earlier.

Sasha and Becky argue in the back until Charlotte comes up to say there’s going to be a rematch on Smackdown. Charlotte makes fun of them for being so excited.

We recap Vince cutting Shane out of his will and saying he won’t be his son anymore. How many times has Vince done that over the years?

Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ambrose is all bandaged up so Del Rio sends him out to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and Alberto rams shoulders into the buckle, followed by a DDT for two. The armbreaker over the top rope cranks on the bad arm even more but Dean counters the top rope double stomp. The Backstabber sends Dean outside again and now the double stomp connects from the apron. Dean beats the count back in at nine (because of course he does) so Alberto fires off kicks to the ribs.

Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean settles for a bulldog and missile dropkick. Back up and Ambrose goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Alberto to hit the corner enziguri. Alberto misses a charge and hits the floor, allowing Dean to dive on all four of them. The referee starts counting but here’s HHH to interrupt. The distraction lets the League sneak in for the DQ at 9:40.

Rating: D+. This was a squash with Dean getting in some hope spots near the end but you knew HHH was going to get involved somehow. I can go for the League as a bunch of goons who do HHH’s bidding instead of being a featured act. It’s a good enough idea but the difference here is there’s a reason to care about someone like Ambrose. Reigns is just a guy who happens to be there and it’s a big part of why this isn’t working.

Post match HHH says Ambrose will never beat the Authority so Dean punches him in the jaw. Ambrose gets in some shots in the corner but eats a Pedigree. HHH says the match is on and leaves, because why have the match now when your opponent is done? Ah, yes, plot convenience. Ambrose crawls over to the mic and says thanks but HHH takes the jacket off and unbuttons his sleeves. HHH comes back and throws Dean to the floor, setting up the required whip over the announcers’ table. Referees come out to break it up and one actually shouts “THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL!” HHH leaves Dean laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Save for the last five minutes, this was a disaster. The problem here is simple: I watched last week’s show. For some reason though WWE has decided to just keep showing us the same clips over and over because that’s enough to make us keep watching. The main event scene still has the same problem: Ambrose is someone people can relate to but Reigns is someone who isn’t even on the show but we’re supposed to want to see him fight in the biggest match of the year? The title shot could change things but I’d be stunned if they actually do a title change this close to Wrestlemania.

The rest of the show was horrible though with almost no good matches and the feeling that we’re somewhere in October instead of having less than five weeks before Wrestlemania. The top three matches at Wrestlemania seem to be set in stone and if that’s the case, it’s going to be a very long night in Dallas. There’s still time to shake things up and there’s a reason to hope but good night we could be in for some trouble.

Results

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks went to a double pin

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Rusev/Sheamus b. Lucha Dragons – Kick to Kalisto’s head

Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock

Chris Jericho/AJ Styles b. New Day – Walls of Jericho to Kingston

Bubba Ray Dudley b. Jey Uso – Bubba Bomb

Big Show b. Kevin Owens via countout

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Crucifix neck crank

Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when the League of Nations interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Fastlane 2016
Date: February 21, 2016
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second pay per view of the year as we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. In this case we have a triple threat main event of Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the #1 contendership in what should be one heck of a fight. Any of the three could win and that’s what can make this even better. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Del Rio goes right after the arm to start but Kalisto kicks away at the knees for a breather. JBL talks about how Goliath wins in real life as Kalisto hits the hurricanrana driver to set up a big dive out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio gets two off a snap suplex with Ranallo (only calling the pre-show) comparing this to a feud between rappers. Kalisto sends him into the post but Del Rio blasts him with a chair for the DQ, giving Kalisto the first fall at 4:05.

For some reason the second fall doesn’t being immediately so Del Rio whips him all around ringside as we take a break. Back with both guys in the ring and Del Rio demanding that the second fall begin. Well I mean Kalisto has only had about three and a half minutes to recover so maybe they should. Del Rio does a standing version of the double stomp in the corner for the pin at 7:35.

The third fall begins less than a minute after the second ends with Del Rio getting two off a clothesline. The full version of the top rope double stomp is countered with a hurricanrana though and Kalisto speeds things up with the corkscrew cross body. Another hurricanrana driver gets two and a running tornado DDT gets the same for the champion. Kalisto gets crotched on top and actually doesn’t counter the reverse superplex into the Salida Del Sol.

Instead Del Rio sends him out to the floor for another double stomp off the barricade. Kalisto dives back in to beat the count at nine and Del Rio is frustrated. He loads up ANOTHER top rope stomp (as in like the fifth one of the match) but Kalisto moves away. They go for what was supposed to be the Salida Del Sol but can’t quite get it, leaving Kalisto to send Del Rio into the buckle for a rollup pin at 14:30.

Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were trying to showcase how many different ways Del Rio could do that one stupid move in a row. On top of that, Kalisto doesn’t even get to hit his big finishing move that made him a star in the first place and basically gets squashed until a fluke ending. I’m really not sure why this needed to be 2/3 falls and the match was a step down from their usually good stuff.

The opening video is the Eva Marie racecar theme with a focus on the main event.

Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch vs. Tamina/Naomi

Earlier today, Naomi said she and Tamina put the BAD in Team BAD. Never let her speak again. Becky tries to start but Sasha tags herself in, only to have Becky do the same thing a few seconds later. The quick legdrops nail Tamina with the spinning version getting two. Naomi comes in for her dancing kicks bug Becky throws Tamina down with a suplex and BAD gets dropped on the floor. Naomi comes back with something like a Stunner over the top rope to drop Becky. Unfortunately this means we have to hear the racecar sound effects on every replay which are already old.

Back in and Tamina clotheslines Lynch for two before it’s off to the chinlock. JBL: “Tamina could have been in the APA.” It’s off to Naomi for a legdrop and chinlock of her own before being sent back to the floor. Naomi pulls Sasha off the apron to break up a tag attempt, only to have Becky do some quick house cleaning and dive over for the hot tag to Sasha. It’s time for the knees all around until Naomi misses the double knees in the corner.

A backstabber sets up the Bank Statement but Tamina pulls Sasha out to the floor. Back in and the Rear View gets two, followed by Tamina’s superkick for the same with Becky breaking up the count. Sasha flips out of a double suplex and Becky comes in with a missile dropkick to both of them. The Bank Statement to Tamina and the Disarm-Her to Naomi are good for the double submission at 10:00.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end but the first half was a lot of laying around in chinlocks and rest holds as we sat through Tamina and Naomi trying to have charisma. Naomi is one of those cases where you have to wonder what they were thinking. She’s incredibly athletic but for some reason they decide to make her a heel instead of focusing on all of her national abilities. Such is life in the Divas division.

We look back at the Intercontinental Title changing hands on Monday.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and Dolph’s hair is…..odd. They fight up against the ropes to start and Ziggler eats a headbutt. Owens’ chinlock is countered into something like a rear naked choke as we hear again about Ziggler’s amateur background which he almost never uses. Back up and Ziggler throws him HARD into the buckle for an awkward looking landing. You can tell it’s awkward as they show four replays of the thing.

We hit the chinlock from the champion until Ziggler avoids a charge, sending Owens shoulder first into the post. The rapid fire elbow drops get two for Dolph and Owens crotches him on the ropes to break up the running DDT. The Cannonball gets two, causing the champion to yell at Cole for talking bad about him. Now the DDT connects for two and Dolph loads up a superplex, only to have Kevin reverse into that spinning fisherman’s superplex.

Both guys roll outside with Ziggler superkicking him down for a near ten count. Back in and they trade more superkicks with Owens having to kick out at two and a half. JBL: “We’re at a superkick party!” They go outside again with the apron powerbomb being countered into a hurricanrana to send Owens into the steps. Back in again and Ziggler tunes up the band (which apparently is paying homage to Shawn Michaels because everything has to be), only to nearly kick the referee, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to retain Owens’ title at 15:02.

Rating: B-. Just a longer version of any given match they’ve had on Raw in recent months (and by recent I mean several because these guys fight like once every few weeks) with the obvious and logical ending. They tried to pump up the idea of Ziggler in front of his hometown but even then people stopped caring a long time ago. Could it be because Ziggler has been the same guy for years now?

We recap the Wyatts being all evil and attacking the old guys, which of course includes that old rascal Ryback.

Wyatt Family vs. Kane/Big Show/Ryback

Bray is on the floor, sitting in Byron Saxton’s chair. Ryback and Rowan get things going with the bearded one missing a charge in the corner. It’s off to Big Show for the loud chops on Erick’s exposed chest with Ryback coming in again for some of his own. Rowan elbows Ryback down and the tag brings in Harper for a dropkick of all things.

We get the Strowman appearance as the announcers hit all of their standard lines about how big and strong he really is. Like, really, really strong. Braun throws Ryback around and brings Rowan back in, allowing Ryback to hit a quick suplex. The hot tag brings in Kane as Cole brings up the Wyatts abducting Kane a few months back. Yeah remember that? It’s still every bit as stupid. Kane cleans house for a bit until they get him down in the corner to start the slow motion exchanges.

Braun drops an elbow to the back of the head as we get a Bill Kazmeier name drop. A running boot misses in the corner and the hot tag brings in Ryback to clean house. Ryback slams Harper five times in a row (Cole: “This is incredible!” No Cole, it isn’t.) before powerslamming him for good measure. Everything breaks down and Strowman is sent to the floor with Harper being tossed on top of his partners. Show spears (kind of) Strowman and Ryback Meathooks Harper. A Shell Shock (really a Samoan Drop) is enough to pin Harper at 10:36.

Rating: C. What? No really, what? There was no reason to have the Wyatts lose here and you have a team of makeshift goons go over them here? For what? Well at least Ryback got the pin and Bray didn’t…..yeah this isn’t working for me. I mean, how in the world do you have the Wyatts lose here? I honestly do not get this and I really don’t want to imagine where they’re going next.

Roman Reigns talks about how everything changes tonight between himself and Ambrose. Dean comes in and says they’re both going to Wrestlemania but he’s tired of hitchhiking. Reigns: “I wouldn’t book that trip just yet.” Ambrose: “I already booked it! I got a great deal on Priceline!” Neither of them are worried about Lesnar either.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Charlotte, which is built around Daniel Bryan retiring and Charlotte mocking Brie for her husband having to quit. Brie pinned her in a non-title match to earn the shot tonight.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and throws Brie (wearing Bryan’s kick pads) down face first to start. That gets us the first mock YES chant of the match as Byron talks about Brie wanting to listen to the birds chirp, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about how stupid that sounds. Brie comes back with some forearms and an armdrag, allowing her to WOO and strut because this is really about Flair.

Charlotte sends her out to the floor for a few moments before Brie counters an Alabama Slam into a sunset flip for two. Back in and Charlotte cranks on both arms but Brie tries (and horribly fails) at a YES Lock attempt, eventually settling for a crucifix for two. A Backpack Stunner breaks up Brie’s sleeper and we hit a Figure Four Neck Lock into those rolling flips. JBL: “Maybe Charlotte is just tired of the birds chirping.”

The BRIE MODE running knee sets up a Nikki Bella forearm for two. Charlotte comes back with chops (because neither of them can do anything but tribute moves) but the Figure Eight is broken up. A dropkick knocks Charlotte outside, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. As is so often the case in a Flair match though, Brie comes up holding her knee.

That doesn’t stop her from firing off the YES Kicks (of course), followed by a Bella Buster for two. The Figure Eight is countered into the YES Lock but Brie swaps that for a half crab to prevent Ric from interfering. Charlotte finally kicks her off and a quick Figure Eight makes Brie tap at 12:14.

Rating: C+. The match was better than it had any right to be but amazingly enough, the combined forces of Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella weren’t enough to make me care about Brie. That kind of shortcut booking rarely works for me, especially when you have someone like Brie who has been a loser and such a horrible in ring worker for so long. You can’t just forget about that kind of stuff, no matter which of her relatives are hurt. But at least Charlotte got pinned clean, which of course no one is going to remember.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho, which is basically Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro from NXT minus the 2/3 falls stipulation because Kalisto vs. Del Rio needed to go six or seven falls. They split the first two matches and AJ convinced Jericho to do it again here tonight. This is almost guaranteed to be one of the better matches on the card.

Jericho talks about how you’re only as good as your last match, which he promises to prove to AJ tonight.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and AJ has to fight out of an early Walls attempt. Jericho has to do the same to avoid the Calf Crusher, which starts the dueling chants. AJ drops a knee for two and it’s time to slug it out. A top rope ax handle drops AJ, who pops right back up with a dropkick. The chants start up again as the fans are definitely more into this than anything else all night.

They head outside with Jericho sending him hard into the barricade before slapping on a chinlock. JBL compares AJ coming over here to Kobashi or Hansen coming over from Japan in their primes. AJ fights up and sends Jericho to the floor, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest. Another chinlock doesn’t get Chris very far as AJ fights back and hits a running forearm to a seated Jericho.

They mess up the moonsault into the reverse DDT (to be fair that’s a really hard move to pull off) and Jericho scores with the enziguri for two. A Tesshocker (belly to back suplex into a faceplant) gets two more for AJ, only to have Jericho come back with a bulldog and Lionsault for another near fall. AJ comes back and tries the springboard forearm but Jericho springboards into the dropkick to break it up. The Pele stuns Jericho on the top and AJ loads up a super hurricanrana which is countered into the Walls.

AJ gets the break so Jericho throws him outside and puts him in the Walls on the floor. A Codebreaker brings AJ back in but he’s way too close to the ropes. AJ’s striking sequence is countered into a tiger bomb which is countered into the Styles Clash for a very close near fall. Now it’s back to the Calf Crusher and Jericho finally taps at 16:28.

Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? They’ve had good matches the previous two times and this worked as well, though I liked their Smackdown match a little bit better. Jericho tapping clean in the middle of the ring is the right ending because you can quickly build him up for whatever you want him to do at Wrestlemania while AJ can move on to a feud he might actually lose.

Post match Jericho does the false heel turn into the handshake.

Kickoff recap.

We look back at New Day dancing a lot on Smackdown.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge Peep Show (as hosted by Edge and Christian of course) with special guests the New Day. Edge plugs their new show (Christian: “Watch it. It’s awesome.”) but asks if we can be serious for a minute (Edge: “Lance Storm just got real mad.”) because it’s really nice to be here. This is where the first tag team ladder match took place and it’s where they received their very first standing ovation…..and here’s New Day.

They immediately ask who (WHO WHO WHO) cares about what Edge and Christian did back in the day. It’s time to be out with the old and in with the new, the New Day that is of course. Christian wants to talk about New Day’s history, which started with the power of positivity, which was brutal and lead to indifference. Edge: “I’ve never seen so much chocolate act so vanilla.” Then something happened even faster than Kofi dropped his fake Jamaican accent. Edge: “It’s like if we had a threesome with his Beyonce, you would be our love child.”

New Day is accused of ripping on local sports teams before doing just that. There’s nothing wrong with an old classic. Kofi doesn’t like the idea that New Day is called Edge and Christian ripoffs before going into a rant about how lame the current tag team division really is. Apparently the League of Nations doesn’t think much of New Day (and apparently WWE doesn’t think much of the League as they can’t get onto a show with six matches). Woods says New Day has already cooked the deal and now the League of Nations is hot garbage. Edge: “I’m starting to like you guys.”

This brings out the League with Sheamus agreeing that New Day does look stupid. Woods says they can’t get into a battle of fisticuffs because it’s a day of rest and they’re leaving. Edge: “But King Barrett hasn’t gotten to stare at anyone menacingly yet!” Del Rio brings up making Edge retire five years ago, though Edge thinks he’s accomplished more than Alberto in those five years. The Canadians leave and it’s time for New Day to dance in the aisle as Edge and Christian do one more plug. There were some funny lines here but this was even more filler on a show full of it already.

Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say. Bo gives us some safety tips on the Road to Wrestlemania before Rose calls the team a group of beautiful Priuses. Bo: “Can I be a Volvo? They have great safety ratings.” They go on for a bit until it’s time for an impromptu match.

R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

Axel grabs a headlock to start but it’s time for Truth to dance and gyrate. Curtis gets in a shot and we get a victory lap, only to have Goldust come out to support Truth. Goldust trips Axel but then throws Rose inside for no logical reason, allowing Axel to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:15.

Post match Truth walks away again, as he should after that stupid move.

We recap the main event, which was made basically on a whim by Stephanie, which really doesn’t leave HHH with an easy match for Wrestlemania. They’ve teased some issues between Reigns and Ambrose and both guys want to fight Lesnar again. Lesnar has stared at HHH, at least when the champion had the time to appear on a show with the belt.

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner gets the title shot at Wrestlemania so we get some Big Match Intros. Brock drives Ambrose into the corner before throwing Reigns with the first suplex. A second German suplex sends Reigns flying but Dean comes back in with a missile dropkick to stagger Brock. Dean tries a German suplex on Brock but gets a hard glare and a belly to belly for his efforts.

Ambrose gets dropped on his head and it’s back to Suplex City for Reigns. The fourth German sets up an F5 with Ambrose making the save. Lesnar chuckles at Dean, who slaps Brock in the face. That earns Dean a series of knees to the ribs and a German of his own. The fans, who seem to like Ambrose, want to see more suplexes. The F5 is broken up by a spear to give Reigns two but he Superman Punches Brock to the floor. Reigns dives into an F5, only to have Dean hit Lesnar low to make the save.

A DoubleBomb through the table (good looking one too) puts Brock through the table, leaving Reigns and Ambrose to have a fight for the title shot. Dean’s bulldog gets two and we get the BOO/YAY slugout. The Rebound Lariat drops Reigns and Brock is almost to his feet. He feels like a boss in a video game at this point. Reigns and Ambrose are smart enough to go after Brock and drive him into the barricade to keep him in trouble.

That means it’s time for a second table and a second DoubleBomb. This time they bury Brock underneath the pieces of the table but Reigns punches Dean in the jaw, drawing even more booing. Back in and Dean dives into a Superman Punch but the spear is blocked with a knee. Dirty Deeds gets a very close two and Dean POINTS TO THE SIGN.

Another Dirty Deeds is countered as Reigns lifts Dean to his shoulders…..and Brock comes back in to German suplex both of them at the same time. Brock is spent though and Reigns nails a spear, only to get caught in the Kimura. Dean finally comes in with a series of chair shots to Brock’s back, followed by some more to Reigns. Roman pops up with a spear to Ambrose for the pin and the title shot at 16:47.

Rating: B. Where’s the last five minutes of this? They were starting in on something with the chair and then Reigns just speared Dean for the win. Brock was treated better here and looked like a star but I’m still mostly over the German suplexes. At least the Wyatts didn’t interfere, which is pretty much what most people (certainly myself included) figured would happen. Good match but the ending was really sudden.

Reigns gets a lot of pyro until HHH comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show had good action and the wrestling was much better than I was expecting but sweet goodness it felt long. So much of this stuff felt like it was being packed in because they NEEDED a pay per view this month. If nothing else, hopefully this teaches WWE (HA!) that airing matches over and over on TV before the pay per view isn’t a good booking method. Watchable show and even good at times but I’m never going to want to watch this again.

Results

Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Naomi/Tamina – Bank Statement to Tamina

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Ryback/Big Show/Kane b. Wyatt Family – Shell Shock to Harper

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Calf Crusher

Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar and Dean Ambrose – Spear to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s that time again and I’m really not sure if this show is going to be any more interesting than last year’s or not. They’re making no secret out of the fact that this is a one match card which is only there as a stop before we get to Wrestlemania. However, the main event here should be awesome and more than enough to carry this thing. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is 2/3 falls for reasons that I can’t fathom. You would think that this would be perfect for AJ vs. Jericho but instead we’re getting it on a match that we’ve seen four or five times already. I mean, it should be entertaining, but at the same time I have little reason to want to see Kalisto trade falls with Alberto before hitting a big Salida Del Sol for the win. This is a good example of a match that should have been on Raw or a big Smackdown but instead we’re getting it here, thankfully on the pre-show. I don’t have a ton of interest here but at least it should be entertaining.

We’ll start with the token six man tag (not a bad thing) and probably the easiest match to pick. There’s no reason to assume that the Wyatts don’t win here as they’re probably about to head to Wrestlemania for something against Brock so Bray can lose all over again. Since Big Show and Kane are there and expendable, you can almost guarantee that Ryback takes the fall here and probably most of the beating during the match. I mean, it just makes sense right?

There’s no reason the Divas tag should be up for debate. It’s pretty clear that this is all about putting Becky and Sasha over before they head to the triple threat (at least) at Wrestlemania. The idea that they’ll implode before the end of the match has been presented well enough but there’s no way that Tamina and Naomi go over here. It should be entertaining at least though and the makeshift team’s charisma will be enough to carry this.

Charlotte retains the Divas Championship over Brie Bella. Why? It’s Brie Bella. Even the powers of Daniel Bryan’s retirement can’t carry her that far.

In what should be another obvious title defense, Kevin Owens will retain the Intercontinental Title over Dolph Ziggler. As Ziggler has said, these two have fought well over a dozen times and Ziggler has won like two of them. Why that should make me want to see a title match between the two of them isn’t clear but hopefully this sets up something better for Owens than a big multi-man ladder match for the title at Wrestlemania. Ziggler has no reason to go anywhere other than right where he is, which should be losing to a Pop Up Powerbomb here.

Maybe Owens can fight AJ Styles, who really should win his third match against Jericho. It’s one of those matches that shouldn’t have any doubt but there’s a glimmer of hope because Jericho is capable of making you think an upset could happen. There’s no reason to believe that AJ is going to lose and there’s no reason that he should. Jericho exists to put young, talented guys, like AJ, over. That’s all we’re getting here, nicely wrapped up in a good match.

That leaves us with the main event and……Reigns is going to pin Ambrose. I know a lot of people would like to see something else but I really can’t imagine that this is anything but the Wyatts preventing Lesnar from getting the fall and then Reigns pinning Ambrose just like he did at Survivor Series. Ambrose was only added to this for the sake of taking the fall because you know Brock isn’t going to. That leaves us with Reigns vs. HHH at Wrestlemania and roughly 80,000 people booing Reigns while WWE brags about the other 20,000 cheering. The match should rock though and that’s almost just as important here.

Overall Fastlane is………well it’s Fastlane. It’s a show that really doesn’t need to exist and the name isn’t doing it any favors as they’re advertising it as a stop on the way to Wrestlemania. It’s not a great card here as most of the matches are really predictable, though that’s not always the worst thing in the world. The pre-show interview (because just having a match on that thing isn’t enough) should be fun and I can think of worse ways to spend a Sunday night. Not many but at least some.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2016
Location: Citizens Bank Business Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

We’re three days away from Fastlane and the big story tonight is Brock Lesnar making a very rare Smackdown appearance. There’s no word on what he’ll be doing but you can assume it might have something to do with Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns, who are teaming together to face the Dudley Boyz tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Ambrose losing the Intercontinental Title on Monday thanks to Stephanie’s influence.

Opening sequence.

No Mauro Ranallo tonight due to a bout with the flu.

League of Nations vs. Dolph Ziggler/Lucha Dragons

Kevin Owens is on commentary. Kalisto and Rusev get things going with the masked man firing off kicks to the meaty Bulgarian thighs. Alberto comes in and gets taken down with a standing Lionsault for two. An old Jack Brisco spinning sunset flip out of the corner looks to get two for Cara but he tagged Kalisto by mistake. Everything breaks down for a bit and the Dragons dive through the ropes to take down Sheamus and Del Rio, followed by Ziggler coming off the top to elbow all three of them as we take a break.

Back with Rusev holding Cara in a chinlock before it’s off to Del Rio for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. That means it’s time for another chinlock from Alberto, followed by some Irish Curses from Sheamus for two. Owens goes on a funny bit about not liking idiots but having other reasons to not like Cole.

Cara finally kicks Del Rio down and tags in Ziggler to speed things up. Dolph’s superkick to Sheamus is broken up but the running DDT works a bit better. Everything breaks down and Del Rio kicks Cara in the mask, followed by throwing Kalisto hard into the barricade. Back inside, Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for two on Sheamus, which draws Owens off commentary. The distraction lets Sheamus nail a Brogue Kick for the pin on Dolph at 11:27.

Rating: C-. So the League gets a pin on the #1 contender despite none of them having a match on Sunday’s pay per view card. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary here though and that’s pretty good for the most part. The wrestling was fine and they went with the formula that they’ve perfected on Smackdown, meaning this was acceptable but nothing I’ll remember in about an hour.

Owens leaves with Ziggler’s vest.

Tamina vs. Sasha Banks

Sasha gets slammed head first into the mat to start but flips out of a belly to back suplex to get away for a bit. The running knees in the corner have Tamina in trouble and Naomi gets knocked off the apron. A sitout bulldog sets up the Bank Statement to make Tamina tap at 2:22.

Sasha gets beaten down post match until Becky makes the save, only to be shoved away by her partner. This continues a simple story but it’s been booked well.

Post break Becky wants to know what that was. They’re coming up on Wrestlemania and it’s going to take a win at Fastlane to give them momentum. If Sasha wants to let her ego get in the way of their Wrestlemania moment, Becky is done right now. They agree to fight together on Sunday.

Here’s Chris Jericho to address AJ Styles’ challenge to him from Monday. Jericho is ready to answer but he wants AJ to be here face to face. Instead here’s the Miz to interrupt with an announcement of his own. Jericho hopes that it’s Miz quitting the business because everyone has been begging for it for years. Miz says he isn’t quitting but he certainly wouldn’t do it here. The announcement is that he’s ready to fight Jericho here and now, which earns him a throw to the floor.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

Thankfully this starts after a break instead of that stupid ring the bell and go to a break thirty seconds later. A suplex puts Miz down and it’s time for some right hands in the corner. Miz sends him into the post as the announcers debate what celebrity lists these two are on. The fans want AJ but get a knee to Jericho’s back and a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Jericho dropkicks him and goes up, only to get punched in the face. A trip to the floor doesn’t do much as Miz takes him back inside for more left hands to the face. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a chinlock.

The Reality Check gets two and it’s right back to the chinlockery. Jericho fights back again with an ax handle and counters another Reality Check (like any signature move, it’s only one per midcard match) into a failed Walls attempt. Miz’s short DDT and big boot get two each so he starts ripping at Jericho’s face in the corner. The running corner clothesline is easily countered into the Walls though and Miz taps at 12:22.

Rating: C+. As has been the case lately, Miz is on a roll and having a string of good matches. Now maybe that’s due to having matches against Chris Jericho and AJ Styles but at least it’s been better than the usual five minute nothings that he does every week. He’s been a good cog for this feud and kept things from being the normal tropes. Good stuff here as Miz continues to be a pleasant surprise lately.

Post match Jericho calls out AJ for the big answer. AJ comes out but Jericho doesn’t seem interested in wrestling him again. He respects Styles but doesn’t really like him, which is why there won’t be a third match. AJ blasts him in the face with his striking sequence and that’s enough for Jericho to change his mind. That’s rather heelish of AJ, who lost clean last week and now uses violence to get what he wants.

We look back at Heyman and Reigns’ exchange on Monday.

Ambrose says he’s fine after losing the title on Monday but tonight he just wants to go fight. That’s fine with Reigns, but Dean better not try that Dirty Deeds stuff again. Reigns leaves and Dean runs into Heyman. Paul shakes off Ambrose’s threats by saying Brock is here and he wants a piece of Dean. That’s freaks Ambrose out so badly that he asks Heyman for advice before deciding to deal with Brock on his own later.

New Day says they can’t wait to be on the Cutting Edge Peep Show because they’re real musicians. On Sunday they’re ready to get in their stretch limousine and make their way to the Hall of Fame. Edge and Christian are out of style because it’s not the 1990s again. Tromboning and dancing (a LOT of dancing) take us out.

Video on Charlotte, as sponsored by Geico.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title and Natalya gets the jobber entrance. Charlotte’s early headscissors attempt doesn’t work so Natalya grabs a headlock and hits a quick basement dropkick to send Charlotte outside. Ric tries to give some advice and we take a break before coming back to see Charlotte spinning out of a leg lock. Charlotte bails to the floor and a Ric distraction lets her kick Natalya in the face. Back in and it’s off to the bodyscissors for a bit before Natalya fights up and sends her outside with a German suplex. Charlotte pulls the ring skirt away though to tweak Natalya’s knee, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 7:40.

Rating: C-. This was fine as Natalya continues to be fine as the veteran jobber. I mean, I still don’t buy for a second that Brie is going to win the title on Sunday, even for a feel good title change to cash in on Daniel Bryan. Charlotte is getting the hang of the main roster now that she has a character but Ric needs to go as there’s really no need for him.

Post match Charlotte does the YES chants to draw Brie out. The YES Kicks send Charlotte running and a YES chant starts.

This week, Goldust is Dusta Rhymes and has some bad rap. Truth likes it to start but eventually turns him down with a rap of his own. Goldust looks sad, which makes me think they might not wind up teaming after all. At least it’s different than the Booker T. formula.

We look back at the Wyatts going even crazier and the ending of Monday’s show.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Dudley Boyz

They take their sweet time on the entrances until Ambrose and D-Von get things going. Dean gets early near falls of a cross body and bulldog before it’s off to Bubba. A lot of shouting is enough to bring Reigns in and the crowd….doesn’t seem to care. Bubba wins a slugout and elbows Reigns in the back of the head but charges into a Samoan Drop. D-Von gets double suplexed and Bubba is sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bubba cranking on Dean’s neck and the reverse 3D getting two. D-Von slaps on a chinlock (despite not actually grabbing the chin) and it’s back to Bubba for some stomping. The slow paced (and mostly ineffective) offense continues with another D-Von chinlock. It doesn’t help that we’re just waiting for Brock to come out here. Bubba tries to start a LET’S GO AMBROSE chant but it’s a Reigns distraction allowing Dean to knock Bubba down on the top rope.

Thankfully a few right hands aren’t enough to even things up and Bubba knocks him off, only to miss the backsplash. The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house with the usual but he loads up the Superman Punch right before Brock’s music hits. The Dudleys use the entrance for a sneak attack but Reigns blocks the 3D. Dean dives onto D-Von but Brock decks him for the DQ at 13:08.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as most of it was the Dudleys doing slow offense until Brock came out. It wasn’t even a secret as we got a BROCK LESNAR TONIGHT graphic before the match. At least they did something besides the League of Nations to put the Shield boys over for a change though, which they’ve been getting better at in recent weeks.

Brock cleans house post match until Reigns gets in a Superman Punch. The spear almost hits Ambrose though and Dean tries Dirty Deeds, earning himself a Samoan Drop. Brock F5’s Reigns but here’s HHH (how nice of him to make an appearance as his title has been the main focus lately) to stare Brock down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’ve been picking things up lately around here and it’s been a nice change of pace. This has felt a lot more like the wrestling show that Raw just isn’t and that’s the best thing Smackdown can really be. If nothing else this was a good way to help set up Fastlane, which had a good build all night, even if it’s for a weak pay per view.

Results

League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler/Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Sasha Banks b. Tamina – Bank Statement

Chris Jericho b. The Miz – Walls of Jericho

Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Dudley Boyz via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at how stupid a lot of Raw’s booking really was.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-well-they-sure-need-somebody/49212/

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 1, 2016
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We have a main event set for Fastlane and Brock Lesnar is back tonight to give us all three in the same building tonight. Other than that you can see most of the card from here, but the important questions are what happens between now and Wrestlemania and whether or not new stories will start after the February pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with Brock and Heyman with the former in a new red Suplex City shirt. Heyman immediately talks about the Wyatts, whose plot to get rid of Brock from the Royal Rumble worked, but it isn’t keeping him out of the main event of Wrestlemania. Now Lesnar is in a triple threat at Fastlane and that means it’s time for Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose to go to Suplex City. After that, Lesnar will conquer the billion dollar trophy husband to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman goes back to the triple threat so here’s Ambrose to interrupt.

Dean gets right in Brock’s face and asks Heyman (or Porky) who he’s calling a nutjob. Ambrose isn’t stupid, crazy or scared right now because he respects Lesnar. That’s why he wants to stand in front of Brock and tell him how much he wants the title. He’s willing to fight his brother and Lesnar at the same time, even though he knows the beating that’s coming for him at Fastlane. It better be the best beating Lesnar has ever given though because Dean is going to do whatever it takes to go to Fastlane and take the title from HHH. Dean actually leaves with no violence and Lesnar smiles.

Kalisto vs. Rusev

Non-title and Alberto Del Rio is on commentary because he gets another title shot at Fastlane. Rusev (with Lana in his corner) shoves him around to start but Kalisto starts firing off the kicks that almost every small guy uses against a bigger opponent. A hurricanrana is blocked though, only to have Kalisto stay with it and take Rusev out to the floor. The champ’s dive is countered by a kick to the head though and we take a break.

Back with Kalisto charging into a shot in the corner as some of the fans in the front rows are doing the Lucha Dragons dance. A tornado DDT sends Rusev down but he plants Kalisto with a release Rock Bottom for two of his own. As you might expect, Kalisto pops right back up with a dropkick to the knee and the hurricanrana driver.

Rusev obeys the referee’s command to kick out but gets kicked to the floor. Kalisto’s dive is caught but he escapes what looks like a fall away slam and dropkicks Rusev into the steps. Another hurricanrana sends Rusev into the barricade and Kalisto dives back in for the countout win at 10:11. That was one of the slowest ten counts I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D+. Yeah yeah we get the idea: Kalisto goes through the League before getting to face Del Rio again. This would be so much easier to watch if we didn’t have to see five matches between the two of them in about two months. I’m just tired of seeing the two of them fight, even though the matches are watchable enough.

Stephanie and Reigns are in the back with the new HHH World Title belt when Ambrose comes in. Both guys are willing to do whatever it takes to get that title at Wrestlemania but Stephanie implies that they might turn on each other. She even says Ambrose is Reigns’ sidekick but Dean thinks it’s the other way around. That earns them a match against New Day in the main event. Nothing we haven’t seen on Smackdown a half dozen times, but WWE doesn’t care about Smackdown either.

We look at Nikki Bella’s neck surgery.

Brie Bella says her sister is in bed watching the WWE Network. Cue Charlotte and Ric to brag about beating Nikki for the Divas Title. Charlotte would be concerned about Nikki’s injuries if she had any reason to. Brie is left looking sad and good night they’re actually wanting to make me care about BRIE BELLA feeling bad? That’s the point we’ve reached?

Usos vs. Curtis Axel/Adam Rose

The Usos are announced as the Grammy Award winning Tag Team of the Year. They even re-air it after the break to make fun of Lillian’s flub. There’s no Bo Dallas due to his dad being in the hospital, so Slater says he’s in the studio after his battle with Flo Rida last week. Axel kicks Jey in the ribs to start and it’s off to Rose, who comes in with a top rope knee to the chest. The announcers go on about Stephanie suggesting that absolute power corrupts absolutely because they exist to push her stupid lines.

Axel’s chinlock keeps things slow and Rose’s makes it even worse until Jimmy enziguris him down. Jey comes in with a bunch of superkicks (including one where Axel telegraphed it worse than anything I’ve seen in years). At least four superkicks in a row set up a double superkick and the Superfly Splash for the pin on Rose at 5:11.

Rating: O. For obnoxious. Yeah Lillian screwed up a line so let’s spend the whole match going on and on because NO ONE IN WWE HAS EVER SCREWED UP A LINE BECAUSE THEY’RE TOTALLY PERFECT AND THE GREATEST THING EVER. It’s stuff like that which makes the whole company seem so stuck up that it drives me insane. Get over yourselves already and call the match instead of making fun of Garcia (a woman that people like Kevin Dunn, who I would almost bet was behind that whole thing, could never get) or talking about how insightful Stephanie’s stuff was. The match sucked by the way.

Back from a break with WWE bragging about being on American Airlines in-flight magazine. Yeah that gets ten seconds but Lillian’s flub gets a full match.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest AJ Styles. Miz gets right to the point by cutting off AJ before he can say a word to every question. He lists off AJ’s accomplishments such as being the smallest guy on the football team and coming from rural Georgia. AJ has gone all over the world and finally got to the WWE where he lasted nearly half an hour in the Royal Rumble. Then he defeated Chris Jericho in his debut match, which is a big reason why Miz sees a lot of Daniel Bryan in AJ.

Miz goes on another rant about how he fathered the YES Movement before telling the fans to be quiet. The fans think AJ (who hasn’t said a word yet) can make it in the WWE without Miz’s guidance but there’s no chance of that happening. That’s enough for AJ as he goes off on Miz in the corner and chases him off for the big hero moment. I get the idea here, but Miz actually gave AJ quite the introduction, which was probably the other intended purpose.

Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

Non-title, mainly because Brie never wins anything and therefore probably shouldn’t be in this story. Brie starts fast but the BRIE MODE knee is countered with Charlotte sending her to the floor. The figure four neck lock keeps Brie in trouble but she makes the required clothesline comeback. Now the BRIE MODE knee (minus the shouting of BRIE MODE) connects and it’s off to a sleeper, only to have Ric get up on the apron. Amazingly enough the powers of Alicia Fox aren’t enough to do anything, allowing Charlotte to use something like a Stunner to escape. Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four but gets rolled up for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: F. GAH THIS STUPID FREAKING COMPANY!!! So we already have the triple threat set up at Fastlane with the three NXT women but now we get the addition of BRIE BELLA so the spirit of Nikki can be upon us. I’m sure Brie will be fighting for her sister’s honor or some nonsense like that because Brie and Nikki are now faces after being heels for like ever because of reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. Didn’t they learn anything in the Divas Revolution when Brie was dragging down every freaking match she was in with the NXT women? And it was a clean pin. On the champion. Live on Raw. Just so much dumb.

We look back at Big Show saving Reigns and Ambrose from the Wyatts on Smackdown.

Erick Rowan vs. Big Show

Show grabs the stairs to hold off Strowman and the announcers somehow don’t bring up the stairs match these two had a few years back. Rowan can’t suplex Show (because he’s a big bad show tonight) and after spearing Strowman off the apron, the chokeslam puts Rowan away at 1:20.

Post match the Wyatts (minus Bray who is in Florida with his dad as well) beat Show down and slam him onto the steps.

Titus O’Neil vs. Tyler Breeze

At least Breeze has his full entrance back. Titus throws him into the corner to start but Breeze is smart enough to take out the knee, which is quickly wrapped around the post. We hit the half crab on Titus before he throws Tyler across the ring all the way from his back. A HUGE clothesline drops Breeze and the Clash of the Titus is good for the pin at 2:49.

HHH comes in to see Brock and asks why Dean was allowed to live. Brock says he’ll see HHH at Wrestlemania.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens won last week and that’s got me very worried here. It’s a brawl to start with Owens naturally getting the better of it. Ziggler gets thrown over the top and into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break. Back with Ziggler jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock but getting crushed by the Cannonball for two. A hard elbow drops Ziggler again but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits three straight Stinger Splashes.

Thankfully Kevin will have none of that and clotheslines Dolph’s head off, only to get dumped out to the floor. Back in and Owens superkicks Dolph’s head off for two but takes too long going up. Ziggler’s superplex is blocked though, allowing Owens to get him into the Tree of Woe. Another Cannonball connects (that looked great) and now the Pop Up Powerbomb is….countered into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:35.

Rating: D+. That’s mostly for the ending because WWE is going out of their way to screw themselves over. Kevin Owens has the potential to be something fun and fresh as a heel but we need the 50/50 booking with DOLPH ZIGGLER. Owens could be a World Champion (and if there has EVER been a time when they need someone to step up and be a big deal, it might be before Wrestlemania with Rollins and Cena both hurt) by the end of the year but he’s losing here because of whatever stupid philosophy they have. This actually made me mad and what makes it even worse is that you knew it was coming the whole way.

Video on Mark Henry for Black History Month.

Here’s Sasha Banks for a match but first she has something to say. Sasha says she’s on her own and no one is going to stop her from winning the title. This brings out Naomi and Tamina because the world was waiting for the Team BAD blowoff. Naomi says she knew this was coming but Sasha wants them to still be friends. They do the UNITY pose and everything seems cool. Of course.

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

They trade rollups to start with Sasha getting the better of it and hitting the double knees in the corner. Becky gets knocked to the floor but Sasha doesn’t want Tamina and Naomi to help. She says she doesn’t need the help so Tamina and Naomi pull her to the floor for the DQ 3:40.

Rating: D+. No time of course because the NXT women never get a chance to do anything. I’d like to repeat though: no one cares about Tamina and Naomi and they’re clearly just doing this (possibly a tag feud for Fastlane) so we can get BRIE BELLA as a title contender. Yeah it’s a fill in challenger, but why not spend the extra time setting up your big Wrestlemania match instead of wasting your time on a nothing feud with no drama?

Post match Becky saves Sasha from the beatdown.

We get a clip of JBL interviewing Ron Simmons on the Network.

Chris Jericho says everyone has been talking about AJ Styles….except for him. Everything about their match last week was tremendous except for the outcome. AJ showed that he’s a tenacious pitbull and Jericho is going to be watching AJ’s match with Miz on Smackdown.

R-Truth goes into the bathroom and finds Goldust crouching on the toilet. Goldust still won’t take no for an answer on the team but Truth thinks Goldust is a weirdo. That means it’s time to bring up Little Jimmy, which seems to get to Truth a bit. Remember like eight days ago when Truth was still crazy and not the straight man in these vignettes?

New Day vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Non-title because the champions need to lose again and Heyman is on commentary. Before the match, Woods talks about how the comments from Rock have Francesca so upset that she can’t sleep at night. Rocky needs to think of the children, like the one they point at in the front row doing the New Day dance. Tonight they’re taking care of Rock’s cousin and they’ll throw in Dean too.

Reigns and Kofi get things going with Kingston having to get out of a Samoan Drop, earning himself a right hand to the head. It’s off to Dean for a basement clothesline as Heyman is already frustrated with Cole’s talk about Ambrose staring Lesnar down earlier. The threat of the Superman Punch causes Woods and Big E. to pull Kofi to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Big E. missing the Apron Splash but Ambrose is kept in trouble with a whip into the steps. Kofi kicks him in the head for two as Woods jumps in on commentary to yell about how awesome they are. Ambrose stays in trouble and Big E. gets two off a splash. Heyman is trying to get in on this but there’s only so much you can do with Woods blasting that trombone.

We hit the abdominal stretch (Woods: “Stretch the abs!”) but Dean doesn’t like the spanking and bites Big E.’s nose. A suplex allows the hot tag to Reigns and it’s time for some corner clotheslines. The other hot tag brings in Ambrose as everything breaks down. The Superman Punch sets up Dirty Deeds on Big E. for the pin at 17:22.

Rating: D+. Hey look: champions lose again clean. This is how things work in WWE this time of year and they really don’t care how obvious they make it coming in. The match was fine but they made it clear that New Day was losing here for the sake of pushing Reigns and Ambrose. Pushing the two of them is fine, but it’s really sad that they had no one else to lose to Reigns and Ambrose. Can you imagine sitting through another League “showdown”?

Post match Brock comes out for the showdown but New Day attacks Reigns, allowing Brock to F5 Ambrose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh man this one was rough. This was a show where they made it clear that they don’t care what’s going on until the night after Fastlane, which makes me wonder why I’m going to watch until then. We’re getting stuff like Brie Bella fighting for the spirit of her sister, whose goal in life is to get John Cena to marry and impregnate her. That’s my hero in the Divas division.

On top of that, there’s the nonsense with the 50/50 booking. Again: the roster is so depleted right now and tonight we saw Dolph Ziggler, the definition of career midcarder, is beating Kevin Owens clean. Why? Just because Owens won last week and we need to set up something at Fastlane. Instead of having Owens look like a killer and setting up something big at Wrestlemania, we need to see this nothing feud and story that is only taking place to fill in time before we get to Wrestlemania.

Then why have Fastlane? Why not just give us a ten week build to Wrestlemania? That’s where WWE loses me. It’s clear that they’re just having a filler show at Fastlane, so why should I bother paying attention for the next three weeks? They’re resetting again after the show and we’ve got a month before the biggest show of all time. Well done on making it feel special WWE. Really, it takes talent to be this shortsighted.

Results

Kalisto b. Rusev via countout

Usos b. Curtis Axel/Adam Rose – Superfly Splash to Rose

Brie Bella b. Charlotte – Small package

Big Show b. Erick Rowan – Chokeslam

Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Breeze – Clash of the Titus

Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens – Zig Zag

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Dirty Deeds to Big E.

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This one is in pairs.

Let’s get the usual male suspects out of the way first: Big Show is old and boring, Kane is more old and boring, but at least Kane had some funny moments during the Corporate days to put him firmly ahead. It’s still bad and the Demon character continues to fail as he’s unstoppable until the bell rings when a few finishing moves can put him away. These two have to be in the running every year though so we’ll get them out of the way here.

Oddly enough you hear about two members of the Wyatt Family this year. I understand the dislike for Rowan as he’s the designated jobber of the team and has to lose more often than not, but ever since that stairs match (egads what a horrible thing that is to think about) with Big Show, his career has been spiraling down further and further every single day. This one is easy to understand though and I can get the idea here.

On the other hand though, I don’t get the hatred for Braun Strowman. This comes off as a case of people missing the point of a character. Strowman is supposed to be the unstoppable monster. Why would he do much besides big power moves, including the choke? This is an old school character and the way he’s booked makes sense. I really don’t know what people are expecting here but he’s been used properly so far and is far from the worst.

Now we get to the most obvious choices with the Divas. We’ll start with the developmental version in Eva Marie. Now I’ve gone on a rant or two about her, but the key difference is she knows how to get people to HATE her. Yeah she’s terrible in the ring, but she’s capable of driving fans into losing their minds. Watch her match with Bayley on NXT and see how freaked out people are over the idea of Eva winning the title. She looks great in her attire and knows how to get people to hate her. That’s more than a lot of Divas have ever accomplished so I can’t quite call her the worst.

However, I can call Brie Bella the worst. Brie is a fascinating case as she has a gorgeous face, is in great shape, is married to one of the most popular wrestlers in years and I absolutely do not care about her. She can do basic moves well enough (and has a decent missile dropkick) but the idea of knowing whether she’s good or bad seems WAY too complicated for her. Just watch her throw the YES Kicks completely out of time whether she’s a face or a heel. It’s almost fascinating to watch at times as she just misses every beat, not even factoring in BRIE MODDDDDDE!

So yeah, as usual the Diva wins this.

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Smackdown
Date: December 17, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T., Rich Brennan

It’s kind of amazing to see how fast things have gone from boring to a lot more entertaining in the span of a few days. Going into Sunday’s pay per view, things were ice cold and had nowhere to go but up. Now things are hot again with a new World Champion in Roman Reigns as we’ve hit the road to the Royal Rumble running. Let’s get to it.

Of course we start with a recap of Reigns beating down HHH on Sunday, setting up his World Title win on Monday night to really stick it to the Authority again.

Here’s Reigns to kick things off. Reigns talked about how big a deal Monday was but what made it really special was doing it on his daughter’s birthday. That meant he could take it home and show his family what he was working for. However, his days in WWE are probably numbered after he speared HHH and Superman punched Vince McMahon (Lawler: “WOO HOO!”). The repercussions won’t come until Monday because this is Smackdown. So we’ve finally reached the point where the champion is admitting that nothing happens on Smackdown.

Here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s happy that Reigns got his moment and this time he even lasted more than 5:15. It won’t be lasting much longer though because that title is coming back around his waist. Reigns says anytime fella but Sheamus brings up all the people Reigns has hurt over the last few days. The Authority has launched an official investigation and Reigns is on the sidelines, meaning he can’t fight or even appear on WWE TV. Wait are they ripping off TNA’s stupid storyline now??? Sheamus asks him to leave right now but Reigns says come make him. Security tries instead and only earn themselves a beating.

Ryback vs. Alberto Del Rio

Say it with me: non-title, though in this case it makes a bit more sense as Ryback lost on Sunday. They actually start with some amateur stuff as Ryback takes him to the mat and works on a wristlock. Del Rio tries some right hands in the corner and has to escape a powerbomb attempt.

They botch what looked to be the Thesz press so Ryback throws him down with a gorilla press instead. Ryback gets a bit too cocky though and Del Rio grabs the armbreaker over the ropes to take over. We take a break and come back with Del Rio hitting the chinlock. A FEED ME MORE chant gets Ryback to his feet and a slingshot belly to back suplex breaks the hold.

The Warrior splash gets no cover for some reason but the middle rope dropkick gets Ryback two. He’s getting better at that move. The Meathook misses and Del Rio grabs a German suplex for two of his own. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but here’s the League (including Barrett) for a distraction. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker for the submission at 10:37.

Rating: C-. This was the same standard trading of spots that we’ve seen from these two for weeks if not months now. Ryback vs. the League could be interesting and gives both of them something to do. The League always came off like a midcard stable more than a big deal and a feud with Ryback and friends would seem a lot more up their alley.

The League beats Ryback down post match.

Summer Rae is doing Tyler Breeze’s hair as he talks about facing Titus Uggo Neil later. Titus is going to need those millions of dollars for reconstructive surgery on his face. For some reason Goldust is watching and sneaks up on them. This is where Tyler has already fallen to? Summer sprays hairspray at Goldust to get him to leave.

Tyler Breeze vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus charges into raised boots to start as Lawler asks Summer for a grape. Breeze hammers away in the corner and here’s Goldust to take pictures with Summer against her will. Titus comes back with a big boot to the face followed by the throwaway slam. Lawler declares hijinks in the VIP section as Goldust gets up for a picture with Tyler. The Clash of the Titus gives O’Neil the pin at 2:51.

We look at Kevin Owens beating up Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler on Monday.

Ambrose doesn’t think much of Owens’ plans to put him in an asylum in order to get the Intercontinental Title back. Owens can powerbomb him as many times as he wants because Ambrose will scrape himself up and mail himself to Owens for another fight. Being Intercontinental Champion means being willing to fight every day of the year and Owens is going to need a better plan than to drive Dean crazy.

Stills of the tables match on Sunday and the extreme rules match on Monday.

Bray Wyatt talks about going to the extreme not being enough. Harper says pain is temporary but fear lasts forever. Rowan talks about how you can search for the light but all you’ll find is darkness. Strowman finds solace in the muffled screams of those who take their last breaths in his arm. The Family doesn’t obey this world’s rules so sleep with one eye open and know that they are everywhere. They cannot stop so run.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title with Big E. on the floor. Before the match, Woods and Big E. blame jealousy for the Usos and Dragons’ denial of friendship on Monday. We get a unicorn horn and Kofi declares themselves fashion icons. The celebration from Sunday are for them and them alone though, which the fans just don’t seem to get.

Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked man armdragging Woods to the mat. Cara slams Kalisto onto Woods and it’s time to work on the arm. Big E. is giving Booker lines to read to praise New Day, referring to them by such monikers as the gaggle of groove. Cara monkey flips Kalisto into the 450 as this is very one sided so far. Woods finally forearms Kalisto out to the floor and we take a quick break.

Back with the Unicorn Stampede on Kalisto as Big E. can’t play the trombone. A slingshot stomp gets two for Kofi and he slows things down by cranking on Kalisto’s arms. As Lawler talks about Woods’ boots being curled up like the Iron Sheik’s, Kalisto gets two off a middle rope cross body. Big E. breaks up the hot tag though and it’s time for everyone to dance. Cara uses the distraction to knock Woods off the apron and onto Big E., allowing Kalisto to roll up a shocked Kofi for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C. Mostly standard formula tag match here which is all you need more often than not. It makes sense to have the Dragons and the Usos gets individual title shots now but I’m still from the generation where you have singles matches to build up to a big multi-team gimmick match. Not in modern wrestling though, but at least this match was fine.

Ziggler talks about being collateral damage for years now and how sick he is of everyone treating him like the guy who keeps getting so close but never pulls it off. No one can follow him though because he gives it everything he’s got every single night. Owens will learn that tonight. I’d buy this if I hadn’t heard it a dozen times.

Brie Bella vs. Becky Lynch

Another Twitter feud due to Brie yelling at Becky for getting a submission on Monday due to Ric Flair interfering. I still have no idea if Brie is a face or a heel. Team BAD is in the front row again, having bought tickets to watch one match and then leave like so many other fans do. The fans want Sasha as Becky gets kicked to the floor to start. We hit a chinlock on Becky but here’s Charlotte to cheer her on. The middle rope dropkick sets up the BRIE MODE knee for a near fall. The Bella Buster is broken up and Charlotte trips Brie down (with Becky seeing her), setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:40.

After a break, Becky isn’t happy with the way they’re winning lately. Becky thinks Charlotte believes Becky can’t win without her.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about Ziggler wanting revenge because he wants his Intercontinental Title back. Just like the cockroach that he is, Ambrose can survive almost anything but he can’t survive Kevin Owens. As for Ziggler, instead of going to an asylum, he’s going to the hospital tonight.

New Day will defend against the Lucha Dragons on Tuesday’s live Smackdown.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens stomps him down and throws him out of the corner for early control. An elbow drops Ziggler again and they head outside where Ziggler sends him into the barricade. Back from a break with Owens slapping on a chinlock and demanding that the referee ASK HIM. The backsplash gets two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Ziggler’s back. As usual, the announcers keep calling Owens a prize fighter, suggesting that he’s not doing the same thing as EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY.

Back up and Ziggler avoids a shoulder in the corner, sending Owens into the post. Dolph makes his comeback with the exact same stuff he always makes his comeback with until Owens gets two off a belly to belly. A German suplex and the Cannonball get two each on Ziggler but he holds the ropes to avoid the Pop Up Powerbomb. The superkick gets two on Owens (with a nice delay between two and three) but he backdrops Dolph out to the floor for a nice crash. Ziggler is holding his shoulder so Owens throws him over the announcers’ table for the DQ at 13:20.

Rating: C+. This was more storyline advancement than a match which is a good idea this early into Owens’ new character. I’m liking the idea of Owens being all violent and beating people up until he gets his title back. Basically you build him up as an unstoppable monster who runs over everyone until the one that got away is the only one left. Simple story that’s going to work every time.

Ziggler fights back but gets shoved into the steps. Ambrose runs out for the save and Owens runs from the threat of Dirty Deeds, only to superkick Ziggler for a consolation prize. Ambrose tries to help Dolph up and eats a superkick of his own. Owens smiles at everything to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Totally run of the mill Smackdown here with watchable wrestling and some story advancement. At least this is the last one for a little while as we have the live show on Tuesday and probably something special for New Year’s Eve, followed by the USA debut. As for this show though, if they actually take Roman off the air and don’t have him do guerrilla style attacks or something like that, I’ve lost the little hope this company gave me in the past week. They couldn’t be that stupid. Like, they couldn’t be.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Ryback – Cross armbreaker

Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Breeze – Clash of the Titus

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens threw him over the announcers’ table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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