Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards – 2014

They’re out again and as usual here are my thoughts on each one of them.  After reading these, I’m very glad I watched Wrestle Kingdom.

Wrestler of the Year – Shinsuke Nakamura

I have a feeling it’s another year of the Japan. I haven’t seen much of Nakamura, but I still go with Seth Rollins over everyone else.

MMA Most Valuable Fighter – Ronda Rousey

I ask this every year and I’ll ask it again: why is a wrestling newsletter giving out MMA awards?

Most Outstanding Wrestling – AJ Styles

I’ve heard a lot of good things about his work, but I’m still not clear how this is different than Wrestler of the Year. And no I’m not asking for an explanation.

Best Box Office Draw – Ronda Rousey

See all my other MMA responses. For actual wrestlers, probably Cena.

Feud of the Year – Jon Jones vs. Daniel Cormier

Good grief we get it already. For a wrestling feud, eh probably Rollins vs. Ambrose or whatever I picked for my award.

Tag Team of the Year – Young Bucks

I can go with this as it’s not like the Usos were really all that great. It’s a down period for tag teams but there’s some hope on the horizon in the Ascension. Yes I still like them.

Most Improved – Rusev

I believe he means Lana but I’m fine with this one, though again I’d pick Rollins. From the guy considered the weakest of the Shield to top heel in the company? That’s pretty improving.

Best on Interviews – Paul Heyman.

Next.

Most Charismatic – Shinsuke Nakamura

Based on Wrestle Kingdom, I have no issue with this one.

Best Technical Wrestler – Zac Sabre Jr.

I haven’t seen anything of his either.

Best Brawler – Tomohiro Ishii

Yep WWE doesn’t exist this year. Ishii is one of those guys who don’t sell anything and fans write it off as tradition or fighting spirit or whatever else they can come up with as excuse.

Best Flying Wrestler – Ricochet

You might know him better as Prince Puma. No one really springs to my mind to beat him so I can live with this again.

Most Overrated – Kane

How can you be overrated when people think you’re one of the worst wrestlers in the world?

Most Underrated – Cesaro

You mean the guy that everyone raves about? How is that underrated? This award usually comes off like “Most Underutilized” as opposed to the previous one being “Most overused.” I get the idea but the award name is kind of misleading.

Promotion of the Year – New Japan

Yeah probably. WWE had a really, really bad year, at least in the second half.

Best Weekly TV Show – NXT

Now we’re getting the hang of this. I think I’ve made my stance clear on this over the year.

Most Outstanding Fighter – Ronda Rousey

Just stop already. Or go post about it on an MMA site.

Match of the Year – AJ Styles vs. Minoru Suzuki

A Japanese guy who wrestles like an MMA fighter? You know Meltzer is all over that. I’ll still take Zayn vs. Neville for the pure emotion though.

Fight of the Year – Johnny Hendricks vs. Robbie Lawler

Good grief. Next.

Rookie of the Year – Dragon Lee II

This would likely be another guy that only Meltzer has ever seen/heard of unless you watch a bunch of obscure wrestling.

Best Non-Wrestler – Paul Heyman

Just name the award after him already. That’s not meant as an insult.

Best Television Announcer – William Regal

I’d go with Renee Young but Regal is a very close second so I have no complaints.

Worst Television Announcer – JBL

Really? With Cole and Lawler around? Or Matt Striker and Vampiro? JBL is annoying but he’s funny when he gets annoyed about the Bunny.

Best Major Show – G1 Climax 24:Day 7

Wrestlemania just means nothing nowadays does it?

Worst Major Wrestling Show – Battleground

I was going to say Bound For Glory, but there was nothing major about that show. Besides, Battleground was actually a good show with the fourway title match and the awesome Usos vs. Wyatts 2/3 falls match. I don’t see why that show gets so much hatred.

Best Wrestling Maneuver – Meltzer Driver

Ok I totally get why he went with this one.

Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic – WWE Insulting Fans Who Bought PPV

Yep. That made me roll my eyes harder than I have in a long time.

Worst Television Show – Monday Night Raw

Oh come on. Raw was bad but Impact could be unwatchable at times and Smackdown was a waste of air time more often than not.

Worst Worked Match of the Year – Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena – Extreme Rules

CAMERON DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO COVER SOMEONE! My goodness really? I know it was a stretch but the Divas should win this every year.

Worst Feud of the Year – Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

I think people are sick of me complaining about this feud so I’ll just quickly agree and move on.

Worst Promotion of the Year – TNA

But Impact is still better than Raw or Smackdown? That’s a bit of a stretch.

Best Booker – Gedo and Jado – New Japan

Sure why not.

Promoter of the Year – Dana White – UFC

NEXT.

Best Gimmick – Rusev and Lana

…really? The best gimmick is something that was tired thirty years ago? Ambrose being insane or Mizdow didn’t win here?

Worst Gimmick – Adam Rose

Disagree again. Rose was fine for what he was but then they turned him and killed the potential he had. As for a worst gimmick, probably Cameron’s stuck up girl character, just because she’s so horrible at everything.

Best Pro Wrestling Book – The Death of WCW

I’m going to need an explanation here because this won ten years ago. Revised edition I’m guessing?

Best Pro Wrestling DVD – Ladies and Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman

I’ve heard great things about this and need to watch it.

Overall, it’s about what I expected: MMA and New Japan dominating everything. Now in this case I’m a bit more understanding as WWE had a very bad year and New Japan is clearly the second biggest promotion in the world. I know Meltzer is very biased towards New Japan and it’s hard to complain about that as it’s going to show up no matter where you go. And yes, I’m aware that Meltzer’s readers do the voting, and if you believe the majority of them aren’t just repeating his views on things, you’re more delusional than Eva Marie about why she has a job. Just get rid of the MMA stuff and these are far more tolerable.




Smackdown – December 5, 2014: The Show That Loves Bald Men

Smackdown
Date: December 5, 2014
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re getting close to TLC and we have most of the card set already. Naturally most of it is just pairings from the Survivor Series main event split off into singles matches with gimmicks attached. The violence and carnage at the pay per view is usually enough to carry it over the weak stories so hopefully it works again this year. Let’s get to it.

Recap of the main story from Raw with Cena vs. Rollins in a tables match being set for TLC and all the brawling between the Survivor Series teams.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Harper is defending of course. The champ sends him into the corner to start but Dolph hammers away with shots to the jaw. That’s fine with Luke as he picks Dolph up and drives him into the corner again. Ziggler tries the same sunset flip that pinned Luke on Monday but only gets two and a boot on his throat for his efforts. A quick neckbreaker gets two for Ziggler but Harper blocks the running DDT and just drills him with an elbow to the face.

Harper doesn’t want his leg to feel left out so he nails a big boot to send Ziggler to the floor and us to a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock and sending Luke shoulder first into the post. Harper counters another neckbreaker but misses the big boot and eats the running DDT for two more.

Now it’s Dolph missing a kick of his own and walking into a superkick from the champ. The Fameasser gets two more as the trading continues. Ziggler gets two each off a high cross body, sunset flip out of a powerbomb and superkick as frustration is setting in. Harper has had enough though and kicks Dolph low for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C+. I still like their matches as they’re playing the power vs. speed dynamic very well, but they’re starting to do the same match over and over again. On top of that, it’s hard to believe that the title is going to change hands before TLC, which makes the near falls a bit harder to get behind. Still entertaining though.

Post match Harper pulls in a ladder and loads up a powerbomb, but you can’t powerbomb Kidman. In this case you can’t powerbomb Ziggler either as he faceplants Luke into the ladder. Harper rolls outside so Dolph pelts the ladder at his head in a big crash. Santino comes out and makes the obvious ladder match at TLC because the power makes him feel like Oprah.

Here’s what’s left of the Authority, complete with Big Show, with something to say. Rollins says he hates Christmas but can’t wait for the annual demolition derby known as TLC. In nine days, he gets to face your hero John Cena in a tables match with Cena’s future title shot on the line.

Rollins is excited by taking away the only thing Cena cares about, because he doesn’t have to make Cena tap out or pin him, even though he could (Sheamus used nearly the exact same line in 2009). All he has to do is drive Cena through a table, but more than just a table is going to be broken. Rollins is going to have tables everywhere and Cena is going to get beaten up, plus a lot of splinters. Uh….right Seth.

Anyway, Big Show says he’s been here for a long time and had all kinds of matches. However, this is going to be his first steel stairs match. He heads outside and bangs the steps into the post a few times and promises to do much worse to Rowan. Kane wants to talk about his chairs match with Ryback, where Ryback will be fed chair after chair after chair. Cue Santino to make our tag match main event: Rollins/Big Show vs. Ryback/Rowan.

We recap the Miz/Naomi/Jimmy Uso stuff from Monday. Miz apologized to Jimmy on Main Event and asked if Jimmy was mad that Miz could do more for Naomi’s career than Jimmy ever could.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. New Day

Woods/Kingston here. Woods tags out less than five seconds in so Kofi can sunset flip Cesaro for two. Cesaro drives Kofi into the corner so Kidd can hammer him down. Kingston easily fights out of a chinlock and cleans house, including the Boom Drop on Tyson. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Everything breaks down and a Demolition Decapitator with a Woods top rope stomp instead of an Ax elbow is good for the pin on Kidd at 2:45.

New Day celebrates when the Dusts pop up on screen. Stardust wants to know why the three of them are thinking this will be any different when they’ve tried the same things over and over again. They’re heading for a black hole (seriously) where light can never escape. The positive message means nothing to Goldust and there will be no new day. Woods says darkness will not prevail because there is no force in the cosmos that can hold them back. Kofi says the New Day is about unity and they’ll take the Dusts on any time. Big E. goes into full on preacher mode and promises to make them feel the power of the New Day.

Naomi is very happy with a bouquet of flowers. She thanks Jimmy for them but he didn’t send her any flowers. Apparently she never thought to read the card because they’re an apology from Miz. Jimmy smashes the vase.

We get a clip from Main Event with Swagger making it his mission to take the US Title from Rusev.

Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev

Non-title. Before the match, Dean says he really enjoyed destroying the rocking chair on Monday. Maybe Bray’s grandmother used to read Baby Bray stories from that chair. Or maybe he just saw it at Cracker Barrel and liked it. Not that it matters because at TLC, Dean is going to break Wyatt into more pieces than he broke that chair. Lana and Rusev come out with the blonde saying the match won’t be happening, thanks to Jack Swagger.

We see a clip from Raw of Swagger going after Rusev, which Lana calls persecution. Rusev promises to snap every bone in Jack’s body, just like he did to Zeb Colter. Dean tells Lana to stop with the flirtatious eyes because he’s going to fight the Russian. He goes after Rusev but gets jumped from behind by Wyatt. Dean fights back as Bray goes to get a chair but Wyatt sends him into the steps. He gets the chair and puts it against Dean’s throat before driving the chair into the steps. Medics check on Dean as Bray has a disturbing smile on his face. Ambrose does a stretcher job.

Jey Uso vs. Miz

Before the match, Miz wants to know what’s up with Jimmy. Is he really that insecure and jealous? Miz is just trying to pass along the kind of help that made people like Kate Upton and Selena Gomez. The agent has been watching her on Total Divas and thinks she’s a star in the making because she’s hot with a voluptuous body.

The Usos come out with no special entrance and we’re ready to go. Jimmy tries to come in soon after the bell but gets ejected for his efforts. We get our first contact over a minute in with Miz driving a knee into Jey’s ribs. It’s already off to a chinlock but Jey quickly fights up and nails a Samoan drop. Mizdow comes in for a distraction though and the Skull Crushing Finale is enough to pin Jey at 2:25.

Brie Bella vs. Naomi

AJ Lee and Nikki are both at ringside with the former on commentary. We look at AJ fighting both Bellas on Monday. AJ: “It’s great therapy to punch a Bella in the face.” Brie nails a dropkick for an early two as Nikki sits on the steps and taunts AJ with the belt. A clothesline gets two for Brie and we hit the chinlock. AJ says she was Divas Champion for so many days that it was a common law marriage. Naomi tries what looked to be Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog but Brie falls backwards instead. AJ prevents Nikki from interfering and Naomi rolls Brie up for the pin at 2:34.

Santino is in the back, talking about how hard it is to be in charge. If anyone understands what that means, it’s….the Bunny. Apparently Santino’s grandmother calls him at 3am to ask him how to fix the clock on the microwave.

Rollins and Show are ready for their match thanks to a Kane pep talk. Show says they’re not friends but he needs to get through this match to get to TLC.

Ryback/Erick Rowan vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show

Rowan and Rollins get things going with Seth being launched across the ring. Rollins bails to the corner but actually doesn’t tag. Rowan does though as it’s Ryback’s turn to hammer away in the corner. He misses a charge though and Seth drives in some elbows to the head, only to be driven across the ring with ease. Seth runs him over again though and we take a break. Back with Big Show headbutting Ryback and elbowing him in the back of the head. Ryback fights out of a chokeslam attempt and makes the hot tag to Rowan.

Things speed up with Rowan nailing a bunch of clotheslines to put Show down, only to have the Stooges offer a distraction so Big Show can take over. We settle down to Rollins driving knees into Erick’s head before it’s back to Show for a snapmare of all things. A DDT gets two on Erick but Show misses the elbow. The real hot tag brings in Ryback to clean house, but Rollins counters a swinging Rock Bottom into a crucifix for two in a nice counter.

The springboard knee to the head misses though and Ryback powerslams him down for two. The Stooges’ distraction breaks up the Shell Shock and the knee to Ryback’s head gets two. Seth misses a Curb Stomp and eats a spinebuster, only to have Kane get on the apron. Rollins enziguris Ryback down as Kane gets ejected. The referee won’t allow a tag to Big Show that he didn’t see, leaving a protesting Rollins to eat the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: C. What is with WWE not letting Big Show or Kane do a job? You have Big Show right there and you have Rollins do a clean job instead? Anyway, it’s nice to see Ryback get a pin but he lost a lot of momentum at Survivor Series. The match was your standard main event tag without anything to make it interesting but it was a fine way to finish a show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was the run of the mill Smackdown with nothing worth seeing and very limited storyline development, but it’s cool to see actual stories in the midcard other than the standard stuff you see every time. Thankfully there isn’t much time left until TLC and we can get ready for the Rumble when things will actually pick up.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper kicked Ziggler low

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Top rope double stomp/backbreaker combination to Kidd

Miz b. Jey Uso – Skull Crushing Finale

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Ryback/Erick Rowan b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Wrestler of the Day – November 26: Nikki Bella

Today we’re looking at a chick who is now one of the focuses of the Divas division. If nothing else it shows you the power of sleeping with John Cena. Today is Nikki Bella.

The Bellas got started in developmental in 2007 and we’ll pick things up on ECW on March 30, 2009 with their first showdown.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Nikki comes out with Miz and Morrison but Brie counters with Carlito and Primo. Brie grabs a quick rollup for two before just hammering away at her sister’s face. Some armdrags put Nikki down but she grabs a quick suplex for two. Brie hooks a bulldog but the tag teams get in a brawl, allowing Nikki to roll up Brie for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this is going to be even worse when we get the big showdown in a few months. The girls just aren’t that good in the ring and it really shows in these matches. Nikki and Brie try out there but they seem to take things way more seriously than they should and it drags everything down. Just be good looking women and shake your hips.

Nikki didn’t have a lot of success at first so we’ll jump ahead to Raw on August 9, 2010.


Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall vs. Bella Twins

This is a Summer Spectacular or something. They’re all in swimsuits, but of course one pieces. Santino and Kozlov are here too and they come in on a water slide. This goes like 3 minutes and one of the Bellas hits a cross body to beat Jillian. Tamina comes out in a swimsuit as well and slaps Santino’s tights. Yep it’s Glamarella all over again.

Rating: N/A. The girls looked good at least. If you have a thing for legs, FIND THIS MATCH IMMEDIATELY.

Off to Tribute to the Troops 2010, when it still meant something.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox/Melina/Laycool

Not on the first show either. Yep the evil ones are definitely hotter. Theyre all in Santa outfits of course. Alicia vs. a Bella starts us off and Cole thinks its Nikki. Since Cole is a very stupid man well call her Brie. Melina is working as a heel here to play up the whole turn on Raw two days ago. Kelly comes in and we get the headscissors to show off the underwear under her skirt. She beats the tar out of Michelle before Layla saves. Everyone gets in until Kelly hits K2 to beat Michelle. Another nothing match.

We’ll head stateside again for Raw on March 7, 2011.

Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The bell is after the break. Gail Kim is here with Eve. Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick. Cole talks about going to be on New Years Eve and waking up on Christmas morning. Thats how he feels about introducing his referee tonight. Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee. Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri. Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.

Rating: C. Even with the Cole stuff in there the whole time this wasn’t bad for the most part. Eve dominated and thankfully they didn’t manage to make things look stupid with the Twin Magic getting by again. It makes the referee and wrestlers look stupid so I’m glad it failed here. Decent match here and pretty good for the most part. Should be interesting to see where it goes from here too.

Another year, another Tribute to the Troops, this time in 2011.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Twins would go back to the only thing that worked for them on Raw, January 2, 2012.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly vs. let’s say Brie to start and Kelly does her spanking and Stinkface to get on my nerves even more. Eve comes in and does her usual stuff. The moonsault is broken up and it’s Nikki in now. Top rope moonsault gets two and it’s Twin Magic for the pin on Eve at 2:04. Are we really back to this again?

Then things would change in a hurry on Raw, April 23, 2012.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real. This really was a surprise, mainly due to rumors that the Bellas were going to be leaving soon.

The title reign would last all of six days and the Bellas actually would leave the company for over a year. They would return in 2013 and pick up where they left off. From Raw on October 21, 2013.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Brie takes Tamina down to start but the Twin is knocked to the floor with ease. Back in and a snap suplex gets two on Brie before we hit the cravate. Off to Nikki who is easily slammed down before it’s off to AJ, who gets the biggest reaction of the match. Nikki fights out of a chinlock and makes the hot tag off to Brie, sending the fans back into their coma. Brie speeds things up and dropkicks Brie down, only to get caught in a half crab. Brie hits a bad looking knee to the ribs before accidentally kneeing Tamina in the head. Not that it matters though as the Bella Buster pins AJ at 5:27.

Rating: D. The Bellas look good in their outfits but man alive this face turn isn’t working. The problem is the double turn by the Bellas and AJ depends on if you like Total Divas. If you like the show, you buy the double turn. If you don’t like Total Divas, you side with AJ, even though there aren’t any shades of gray in the story. AJ is meant to be the heel and Brie as the girl who is fighting for what she wants, even though no one seems to care.

Then came Total Divas, which basically starred the Bellas in the early days. This led to a long feud with the True Divas, including this mathc on Raw, December 2, 2013.

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

Off to the blue show on March 14, 2014.

Nikki Bella vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ sits in on commentary as Tamina takes Nikki down by the hair. Nikki is sent to the floor and holds her knee, prompting some amusing fake concern from the champ. Back in and Nikki gets slammed down but still avoids the Superfly Splash. AJ tries to figure out who the #1 contender is as Tamina kicks Nikki’s head off for two. Tamina gets bored with Nikki and throws Brie into the barricade for fun. It doesn’t pay off though as Nikki hits the Rack for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. Divas, regular match, Nikki’s turn for a push. Next.

Nikki would get a big push over the summer and eventually turned heel on her sister, setting up this match at Hell in a Cell 2014.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella

Loser is the winner’s servant for 30 days. They lock up to start with Brie sending Nikki into the corner but missing a charge. Nikki runs her over for two and a facebuster gets the same. The fans start chanting JBL because NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS STORY. Brie plants her face first for two before hitting a few dropkicks. A running knee to the face has Nikki in trouble but she misses a charge and falls out to the floor.

She comes up clutching her knee and heads back inside to take a missile dropkick for two. Nikki pops back up and hooks the Rack for two. Brie slaps on the YES Lock but Nikki gets her feet on the ropes. Nikki comes back with a hard forearm to the face and a second Rack for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. The worst part: the wrestling wasn’t all that bad. The problem with this is it’s one of the least interesting stories in years as I don’t even remember why they’re fighting. I get that it’s about Brie quitting but are we really supposed to care that a woman is dating John Cena (wait, does that relationship exist in WWE?) and had to wrestle some handicap matches against some heels. Also, if Nikki hates her sister so much, why would she want her around for thirty more days?

We’ll wrap it up with Nikki’s title shot at Survivor Series 2014.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

I’ve made no secret out of the fact that I really don’t think much of Nikki Bella. She tries to be all serious and intense and it really doesn’t work. At the end of the day, she’s another Diva who is there because she looks good in tight outfits and has a twin. She’s gotten better over the last year or so, but there’s still just not enough there to warrant the push she gets. There are far worse Divas out there, but at the end of the day my reaction continues to be that I don’t get why I’m supposed to care.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Monday Night Raw – November 24, 2014: And We Take A Break

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2014
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming off one of the most eventful main events in a very long time as Sting actually debuted last night after roughly thirteen years of waiting. Team Cena prevailed over Team Authority with Dolph Ziggler actually hanging on until the end after Cena was eliminated when Big Show turned heel. Again. Other than that we’ve got less than three weeks before TLC and what might be the main event is already set with Dean Ambrose set to face Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of last night’s show.

Here’s the Authority to open things up because where would we be without them? Stephanie talks about how unfair last night was and blames the loss on Sting. They stand before you tonight as winners instead of losers because they still have corporate responsibilities. Stephanie starts crying and the fans chant YES. HHH knows there is no one here that could handle the Authority’s power.

We live in a universe governed by the laws of finance and commerce. They have to make decisions based on supply and demand, not what’s popular. Is Cena going to do that? Ziggler? Sting maybe? HHH doesn’t know why Sting did that last night but maybe he was trying to make his career relevant by standing in the ring with HHH for thirty seconds.

He goes into a speech from the end of A Few Good Men (almost word for word) before asking who makes the decisions now. There is no Cena, Ziggler or Ryback without the Authority and there is no WWE Universe. What are the fans going to do without Raw now? They can sit on a couch and live in their pathetic failures, because the Authority is going to leave now, but you all will beg for them to come back.

Cue Daniel Bryan of all people for one of the biggest YES chants this side of Wrestlemania. He doesn’t say anything but does the YES pose all the way up the aisle, right in the Authority’s face. That certainly woke the fans up and that’s exactly what you bring a guy like Bryan back for. Bryan stays in the ring as we go to a break.

Back from commercial with Bryan talking about how great it feels to be back in this ring tonight. It felt great to kick the Authority to the curb, but that brings him to Team Authority. As for tonight, Bryan is in charge of Raw and asks all of the losing members of Team Authority to come out here right now. Cole calls each member a loser because Cole doesn’t understand the meaning of the words “subtle” or “neutral”.

Bryan says he won’t be vindictive like the Authority so no titles are in danger and no one is being put in unfair matches. We’ll start with Rollins, who tonight gets to team with two superstars to face Cena and Ziggler. Rollins grabs a mic but it doesn’t work at first so we get some quick banter between him and Bryan.

Seth holds up the briefcase and says he’s still the future of this company. He thinks his partners will be something like Hornswoggle and El Torito or JBL and Cole. Bryan won’t be making the selections though. Instead, it’s in the WWE Universe’s hands. Daniel however, does get to pick the options. It will either be Mark Henry/Luke Harper, Mark Henry/Kane or the Stooges.

Bryan starts the voting as Rollins runs down the Stooges as being pretty bad at their job before storming off. Next up is Kane, who really shouldn’t be Director of Operations anymore. Bryan puts it up to the people and they give him a resounding NO. He won’t fire Kane but he will reassign him. Starting tonight, Kane is Director of Food and Drink, meaning he’ll be known as Concessions Kane. A guy brings out popcorn and hot dogs for Kane to carry throughout the night as we’re in comedy mode.

That brings us to Rusev and Lana. Bryan thinks the US Champion should be a bit more patriotic so he has some options. Rusev can either defend the title in a battle royal against the rest of the roster, or he can pledge allegiance to a big US flag in the middle of the ring. Lana freaks out as the crowd chants USA.

After they storm off, it’s Harper’s chance. He won the title last week with the help of the Stooges (“who you can vote for as Option C on the WWE App!”), but tonight he’s having to go it alone. Bryan needs an opponent for him though, so how about the Lunatic Fringe Dean Ambrose?

That leaves just Henry, who tries to leave before Bryan can do anything for him. Bryan was backstage when a big guy came up to him and asked for a favor. Naturally Bryan said yes because that’s his thing, so tonight a guy is going to get his chance to avenge his loss to Mark Henry a few years back at Wrestlemania, so tonight it’s Henry vs. Ryback. Bryan gave him the match because he’s running Raw tonight, and “THAT’S WHAT I DO!”

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Ryback jumps him from the aisle and sends Henry head first into the post. He drives Henry into the barricade a few times but referees pull him off as we go to a break without a bell. Back with the opening bell and Henry already staggered. He’s still able to knock Ryback down a few times but Ryback comes back with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook connects for the pin at 55 seconds.

HHH and Stephanie are walking through the back when they run into Vince. Stephanie apologizes for letting them down but Vince says he isn’t an angry man. He is however disappointed by the two of them coming up against insurmountable odds. Somehow, someway the two of them have to fix this though. Vince yells at Stephanie for being sorry because he’s never been sorry for a thing in his life. That might change when he has to spend Thanksgiving with them though. All three leave in a limo with Vince still ranting about sorry.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Luke hammers away to start and drives in some shots to the throat in the corner. Dean takes him right back down and drives in crossface shots to the nose. It’s off to the arm of all things with Harper in early trouble. Luke is sent to the floor for a big dive as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock but Dean fights up, only to be sent chest first into the buckle.

Ambrose fights back with right hands but his boot to the ribs is caught and Harper shoves it back, sending Dean face first onto the mat. After a quick chinlock, Harper sends him out to the floor yet again. Another whip sends Dean into the barricade but Ambrose comes back with a hard clothesline. They head back inside with Dean grabbing a rollup for two and a crossbody for the same.

Harper gets tied up in the ropes for the running dropkick, followed by the Fameasser to drive Harper face first into the mat for two. Dean hammers away until Harper grabs the sitout Boss Man Slam for two of his own. Ambrose breaks up a superplex attempt and hits his standing elbow drop, only to eat a superkick. That’s fine with Dean who hits the Rebound Clothesline for two more. The champ goes and gets his title but Dean hits the suicide dive to prevent him from walking out. Back in and Harper fights off Dirty Deeds until he shoves Dean into the referee…..for the DQ at 14:39.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but I liked that they didn’t just have Bray run in for the DQ like I was expecting. The ending was stupid but at least they kept both guys looking strong. Dean facing the former Wyatt Family is a good idea, though I’m glad they didn’t put the title on him. The feud doesn’t need to be for a belt.

Post match Dean gets a chair and hits Dirty Deeds before bringing in a table and ladder. Bray sneaks in through the crowd and lays him out though, including Sister Abigail on the floor.

Big E. New Day video.

Here are Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy with the latter in a mask, shorts and no shirt. Larry says he’s ready to go King Kong Bundy on someone but Santino says we’re not here to wrestle. He takes off the mask and apologizes for all the eye candy. Larry says he beat up Savage one night in Florida. Santino: “Randy Savage???” Larry: “No, Fred.” The Cable Guy says he’s a fan of Steve Austin and says he’d be Stone Cold Creamery (Cold Stone Creamery is an ice cream store chain). Cue Goldust and Stardust to get in Larry’s face and that’s it.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust

Miz/Mizdow are defending and Mizdow has toy titles again. Stardust slams Miz to start but misses an elbow. Miz tries to tag out but Stardust takes him into the corner for a chest rake. It’s off to Goldust for an atomic drop, meaning Mizdow comes in to mock an atomic drop of his own. Miz dives into a punch to the ribs and Stardust breaks up another tag attempt by knocking Miz to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Stardust in control of Miz until a jawbreaker puts both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mizdow to clean house to a big reaction. He nails a quick Reality Check on Stardust and actually nips up. Stardust snaps his throat across the top though and things slow down again with Goldust holding a chinlock as a trainer checks on Miz.

A powerslam gets two on Mizdow and Stardust’s release gordbuster gets the same. Miz is telling the trainer to stay off the face as Mizdow makes his comeback and puts Starudst in the Figure Four, only to have Goldust make the save. Mizdow sends him outside but Miz makes a blind tag and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust to retain at 10:16.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it continues the story as we get closer to Mizdow’s face turn. It would be nice if he started backing up the character in the ring and we got a glimpse of that tonight. Nothing great here but I’m glad they didn’t change the titles back just a night later.

The concessions manager yells at Kane and puts him in charge of chips.

Lana says this isn’t fair, just like America. Daniel Bryan pops up on screen and gives him them the same options, but gives us a supervisor to make sure it works well. Cue Sgt. Slaughter as the big flag comes down. Sarge leads them in the Pledge but Rusev won’t bring himself to do it. Rusev stands there for awhile and finally throws the mic down. It’s time to fight and Slaughter takes off the hat but Jack Swagger comes in for the save. This story again?

Kane gives fans food when Santino and Larry show up in line. Santino winds up wearing mustard and Larry gets a hot dog because Kane is a fan.

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Rematch of the pre-show match last night. Fandango hits a hard elbow to the jaw to start but Justin knocks him off the top rope. A big clothesline flips Justin inside out though as Rosa looks on from ringside. The top rope legdrop ends Gabriel at 1:57.

Here’s a smiling Big Show in a suit for his explanation about last night. He wants to make sure everything is cool because he saw a lot of things online that didn’t sit well with him. Last night he did some things and now people see him as a bad guy. In reality he’s a human being who made a mistake.

Surely everyone has done that before though, so the people should be able to forgive him. He has a medical condition that makes him this big, but on the inside he’s a person just like us. Last night he saw John Cena vulnerable and did what he thought he had to do. Big Show is sure that everyone can forgive him because he wouldn’t have done that if he knew Team Cena was going to win anyway. He’s been putting his body on the line for the last twenty years and maybe the fans owe him this one.

The fans say he sold out and Big Show gets angry in a hurry. He’s heard all those people in the back that are calling him a coward and wants one of them to come out right now. Cue Erick Rowan, who Show calls an upside down Sheamus. Show could understand if this was John Cena or someone, but Erick Rowan? He mocks Rowan a bit before Rowan takes off the mask. That earns Erick a warning to leave before he gets hurt but Rowan says he doesn’t like bullies and the fight is on. Show is quickly knocked to the floor and he breaks the steps before leaving.

The Stooges come up to Rollins in the back and are both about a foot shorter. Ziggler comes in and says he’s asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for the Stooges.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ comes out with the mic and says Nikki has turned the title into a new accessory. As for Brie, “lesbihonest”, she’s an even bigger skank than her sister. Nikki offers a quick distraction so Brie can nail a hard clothesline for two. We hit a hammerlock for a bit before AJ fights up for a quick Shining Wizard for two. Nikki shouts about Brie Mode and another distraction lets Brie grab a rollup for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. The Bellas continue to drag down whatever segment they’re in. I know WWE thinks we care about them because they’re on a reality show but for the love of all things good and holy they’re just another pair of lame Divas. Yeah they’ve had their moments, but they’re treated like the second coming of Trish and Lita and it just doesn’t work.

AJ yells at the Bellas post match and says talent is not sexually transmitted.

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

Larry the Cable Guy and Santino are on commentary to dance with the Bunny. Rose grabs him by the ears and throws him into the ring for some yelling. Rose tags out to the Bunny tos tart and it’s time for comedy. The Bunny hits a quick middle rope dropkick and stomps on Tyson in the corner. Tyson finally smacks the Bunny in the face before it’s off to Natalya….who immediately tags back to Tyson. Jerry explains the idea of the match (both teams are having relationship problems) as Ada gets two off a spinebuster. The Bunny trips Rose by mistake and Kidd hooks a rollup for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: D. We’re to the point now where there’s only so much more they can do before they unmask the Bunny. That being said, there needs to be a good reveal and I’m really not sure who is going to be a big enough deal. Larry and Santino were just kind of there and have to do stuff like this for promoting a DVD and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ryback wants to find the concession stand.

New Day video with all three together. They’re debuting next week.

Ryback shows up to the concession stand and asks for two cans of tuna, a protein shake and a can of beef jerkey. Kane throws a hot dog at him instead so Ryback shoves the table into him. The Big Red Machine throws popcorn and ketchup at him and leaves. Ryback throws a bag of nuts at Kane and that’s it. Funny right?

Cena is in the back with Ziggler and praises Dolph for his win last night. Ziggler says he promised to find a way to survive and that’s exactly what he did. However, it took a miracle in the form of the man called Sting. Cena thanks Sting and Ziggler for changing history and giving the fans all the power. They’re going to steal the show tonight.

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/???/???

Bryan comes out before the match to introduce Rollins and the partners. In a vote closer than I was expecting, the Stooges win with 93% of the vote. They come out in their suits and it’s time to fight. Noble starts with Cena but Rollins makes him take his tie off. The look on Rollins’ face is hysterical as Cena lets Noble grab a headlock. Mercury comes in and runs the ropes, only to accidentally knock his partner down. Seth has to break up an AA attempt and they go outside for a breather as we take a break.

Back with Cena in a bit of trouble until Noble misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Ziggler for some clotheslines and the running DDT to Noble, but a Mercury distraction lets Rollins nail him to take over. Back to Noble for a slam and a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ziggler pops up with a dropkick. Mercury comes in and allows the hot tag to Cena as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Stooges try to save Rollins. This earns them a whip into each other and an AA and Zig Zag for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but what else are you expecting here? Rollins not getting pinned is fine but the match really wasn’t anything to see. Cena and Ziggler beating up the Stooges is fine, even if a bit boring. This was a dull way to end a dull show though and I really didn’t care.

Bryan throws Rollins into the ring for a superkick and AA of his own. Posing looks to end the show…..but we have an e-mail from the general manager. The fans groan as Cole says the line. The party is officially over because next week is Cyber Monday when order and discipline return to Raw. The e-mail sound goes off over and over to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight wasn’t very good but it really wasn’t supposed to be anything big. This was the show taking a night off after such a big show last night and while it’s annoying, its kind of necessary as we’re setting up the mostly meaningless TLC show before the Rumble season begins. The show wasn’t much to see but nothing on it was all that terrible. That’s more than I can say about Raw a lot of the time so we’ll call this one a dull effort.

Results

Ryback b. Mark Henry – Meat Hook

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose hit the referee

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Goldust/Stardust – Skull Crushing Finale to Stardust

Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Top rope legdrop

Brie Bella b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Adam Rose/The Bunny – Rollup to Rose

Dolph Ziggler/John Cena b. Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Zig Zag to Mercury

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Monday Night Raw – November 17, 2014: 18 Men On A Free PPV. Yo Ho Ho And A Grumpy Cat

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2014
Location: Berglund Center Coliseum, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re back stateside now for the go home show for Survivor Series. The big story tonight is a contract signing for the main event where we’re most likely to find out who the final members of each team are going to be. More importantly than that though, we have the Grumpy Cat here tonight because there’s an untapped audience between Lifetime and WWE. Or something. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Survivor Series partner shuffle.

Here’s the Authority, including Harper, to open things up. HHH brings up Vince making the rules for the Survivor Series in case we hadn’t heard about it in the last few weeks. HHH doesn’t care for the idea of being the employee of someone like the people in the audience. Instead he’s supposed to be someone like Vince McMahon, running the evil empire.

These people would rather have the inmates like Cena and Ziggler running the asylum. The last place that let the inmates run the asylum was WCW and that will NEVER happen in WWE. HHH looks at the team and says they can’t lose while plugging the Network. Stephanie thinks Team Cena should work on being together. HHH says Team Cena will be decimated before the contract signing at the end of the night.

The wife runs through the team again and says Team Cena is down a member. That brings her to Ryback but the Big Guy cuts them off. Ryback says the Authority wants what’s best for business, Cena wants what’s best for the people but Ryback wants what’s best for him. Stephanie gets that idea and brings up respect. It’s clear that Cena doesn’t respect Ryback so why does he want to join the team?

She throws us a clip from Superstars last year where Cena said Ryback had no brains or testicular fortitude. Then a clip from Raw where Cena mocked his way of speaking. Back live, Stephanie suggests that Cena is jealous of Ryback and absolutely hates him. She asks if he wants to team with someone like Cena, but Ryback says he’s his own team and leaves. HHH says that’s a good idea and makes Ziggler vs. Harper right now.

Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler

After a break this is now a title match. During the Big Match Intros, the Stooges come in to jump Ziggler and a briefcase shot from Rollins knocks him cold. Ziggler is holding his head on the mat but says ring the bell. The bell rings and Luke kicks him in the head for two. A Batista Bomb gets the same but Luke misses a big boot in the corner and falls out to the floor as we take another break.

Back with Ziggler escaping a vertical suplex but getting popped in the jaw for two. There’s the Gator Roll and we hit a chinlock. Ziggler fights up and nails a Fameasser for two but Harper counters the superkick into a sitout Boss Man Slam for another near fall. Luke charges into the superkick for two more but comes back with the discus lariat for the pin and the title at 8:33.

Rating: C. Harper’s hard hitting offense continues to look awesome and it’s a good sign that he’s finally getting a singles push of his own. I can’t imagine him ever becoming a huge star but the Intercontinental Title is a good start. They almost had to take the belt off Ziggler after all the stuff they’ve thrown at him and this is the best option out of all the Authority members. Ziggler is even protected a bit because of the pre-match attack.

Ziggler takes a Curb Stomp post match.

The announcers plug the free PPV.

Kofi Kingston New Day video.

Miz and Mizdow pitch a movie idea to the Grumpy Cat. They even have a grumpy stuntcat. The Cat doesn’t care and Miz storms off, only to come back and apologize. One of these men used to be an intellectual savior to the masses people.

Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd

The Bunny does Rose’s fall onto the Rosebuds to make Adam even angrier. JBL seems annoyed by the suggestion that the Bunny is a man in a costume. Kidd hammers away to start but walks into a spinebuster for two. The Bunny hits on Natalya, allowing Tyson to slap on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:00.

Post match the Bunny goes after Adam and thrusts his hips behind Rose.  Just go with it.

Video of Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.

Bray Wyatt is here and after a break he’s in the ring to talk about the lies he’s been told about money buying happiness. He’s been told that a man like Dean Ambrose can buy happiness but Dean is going to be alone day after day. Bray hopes that Dean doesn’t mistake his generosity for something malignant. Yeah Bray did something to get Dean’s attention, but now he comes in peace. That momentary suffering was a gift though because Bray knows the pain Dean is going through.

His mother drowned herself in her own misery and his father left him in a lifetime of isolation. Wyatt says he can save him but Dean pops up on screen. He calls Bray’s ramblings nails on a chalkboard, but he’s been trying to see things Bray’s way. Maybe he can learn something from Bray. He’s already learned a magic trick called video recording, because he’s in the arena right now. The lights come on and Ambrose hammers on Bray, sending him running up the ramp. At Survivor Series, Bray needs to worry about saving himself.

We recap the title change and hear that Ziggler has been taken to a hospital.

Larry the Cable Guy is hosting Raw next week because WWE thinks it’s 2006.

Ryback vs. Cesaro

Ryback powers him into the corner to start and chops away but Cesaro takes him down with a quick suplex. Ryback shrugs it off and hits a delayed suplex of his own. The Thesz press and head slams have Ryback in trouble but Cesaro powerbombs him out of the corner to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit on Ryback before a slam and kick to the head get two. Back up and Ryback gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and catching Cesaro with a belly to belly suplex. Cesaro bails to the apron to avoid the Meat Hook but gets thrown right back in. The middle rope splash connects and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Ryback. Shell Shock is countered into rolling Germans for two and Cesaro goes up top.

A big elbow drop gets two more but Ryback pops up with a powerslam for two of his own. The Meat Hook is countered with the uppercut and Swiss Death gets an even closer two. The Neutralizer is countered into a Shell Shock attempt which is countered into a rollup for two more. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin at 14:16.

Rating: B. While it’s not as good as the announcers made it out to be, this was one heck of a power match with some solid near falls. Ryback is able to have a decent match if he’s given the right circumstances and someone like Cesaro is a good opponent for him. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cesaro win a bit more often but you can’t have Ryback lose this early in his return.

Cena hopes he sees all of his team members at the contract signing tonight. Ryback doesn’t seem to be part of those plans though.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana brings up Putin being disrespected at the G20 Summit but stops to say SHUT UP a lot. This past week, America drooled over the queen of social media Kim Kardashian, even though no American can compare to Lana. She has a topless photo of her own to show us, but of course it’s of Putin on a horse. This brings out……Heath Slater dressed as Uncle Sam. Like the rest of America, Slater wants Lana to shut up. The spirit of America flows through all of us, including this country boy right here.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Superkick, Accolade, 36 seconds.

Miz pitches a buddy comedy to Grumpy Cat. Erick Rowan comes up saying here kitty kitty. He wants the cat, meaning the stuffed one Mizdow is holding. Everyone stands around looking confused. JBL: “…..ok?”

Big Show comes out for a match but gets interrupted by Stephanie’s horrible music. She talks about watching the Monday Night War and seeing Big Show billed as Andre the Giant’s son. Big Show has always been in someone’s shadow, even though he just wants to be in the main event. The people can’t fix that but the Authority can. Thankfully they don’t offer him the usual but instead suggest that he could enter the Hall of Fame next year.

Big Show says no but here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s glad to be on Team Cena and will love to only see HHH and Stephanie when they buy tickets. Stephanie laughs because there was an issue with Sheamus’ passport and he’s in danger of being deported. Not that it matters though as Sheamus vs. Big Show are fighting right now. The winner will have a chance to win the World Title at some point in the future.

Big Show vs. Sheamus

They shove each other around to start and Big Show nails some chops in the corner. Sheamus gets thrown to the floor and then over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chokeslam attempt by hitting the ten forearms to a kneeling Big Show. A kick to the face and knee drop get two on the giant but he blocks a slam and comes back with some of his own. Show puts on a Haas of Pain but Sheamus is right next to the ropes.

The pale one starts his comeback with an ax handle and avoids a legdrop. He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets speared out of the air for a close two. White Noise (that’s always cool to see on Big Show) and a chokeslam get two each. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but gets caught in an electric chair to put both guys down. Cue Rusev and Henry for the no contest (even though Rusev hit Sheamus first so it should be a DQ but rules that have been the same throughout wrestling history don’t count when writers don’t need them to count) at 11:08.

Rating: C-. This was the usual decent power match between these two but you could see the ending coming the entire way. As soon as they said the winner gets a title shot you knew no one was getting their hand raised for this match. That ending gets on my nerves though as Sheamus should have won via DQ because just having Henry and Rusev get in at the same time was too complicated.

Rusev Accoldes Big Show as Sheamus takes the World’s Strongest Slam through the table.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Brie is dressed like AJ and this is an exhibition match. The real AJ comes out to watch but Nikki needs to warm up first. Some backbreakers have Brie in trouble but she finally gets annoyed and shoves Nikki away. That earns her some slaps to the head before Nikki loads up the Rack Attack. AJ gets on the apron, allowing Brie to grab a rollup pin at 2:06.

Nikki goes after Brie post match but AJ makes the save. Brie starts a YES chant and gets beaten up by the champ. I have no idea why this was an exhibition match.

Big E.’s New Day video.

Cena tries to get Ryback again but he isn’t happy with those insults.  John apologizes for the comments and says if Ryback helps, the Authority is gone.  Ryback says he’s Team Ryback and asks Cena to leave.  Cena calls him selfish and thinks Ryback doesn’t want to take a risk.

We recap Ambrose and Wyatt from earlier.

Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos/Los Matadores

Setting up this Sunday’s four way tag. Diego stops Miz early on for OLE before putting him across the middle rope for a running crotch attack. The fans want a tag to Mizdow but get Goldust instead, only to have Diego fire off some chops in the corner. Los Matadores hit a double hiptoss to Miz, sending him rolling out to the floor. Mizdow comes in and flips himself over before rolling outside as well. Los Matadores dive onto Goldust/Stardust and Torito dives on the actors as we take a break.

Back with Goldust sending Fernando shoulder first into the post. Stardust comes in for a double stomp as the fans STILL want Mizdow. Instead they get an armbar from Stardust so the fans chant for JBL. Back to Miz for a chinlock before Goldust comes in to work on the arm. Mizdow holds out his arm and Goldust is ready to bring him in but Stardust steals the tag instead. Back to Miz who FINALLY tags in Mizdow, only to tag himself back in a few seconds later.

Fernando kicks Miz out to the floor as Jerry says Drew Carrey is in Dumb and Dumber. Fernando tags in Jimmy but Jey tags himself in as the Usos clean house. The double dive takes down some heels until it’s Jimmy hitting a release Samoan drop on Stardust. The Rikishi attack connects but Jimmy charges into a Goldust powerslam. We start the parade of finishers and Jimmy superkicks Diego by mistake before walking into Dark Matter for the pin at 11:48.

Rating: D+. The match was dull but it’s interesting to see that they’re setting up Mizdow’s face turn when he finally gets tired of never getting the spotlight. The fans are buying into it too and everything works. Unfortunately this match has no heat as we head into the show because the main event has swallowed the whole thing.

The Cat is not pleased.

Sheamus has been taken to the hospital and is out of Survivor Series.

After Raw, you can see a preview of the new Randy Savage DVD on the Network.

Here’s the Authority for the contract signing. HHH says Cena is going to come out here and talk about how important this business is to him but it’s nothing compared to what it means for the Authority. This is the air they breathe and they will not lose on Sunday. Stephanie invites Team Cena to come out here and here’s John by himself.

Cena says they’ll win but Stephanie laughs it off and asks what army is going to help him. She tells him to wake up but Cena says don’t get used to giving any orders because the Authority is losing on Sunday. All night long there have been underhanded tricks to take out Team Cena, except for one man. He sees what’s going on: they come out here every week and put people to sleep but claim to know what’s best for business.

Cena is going to have a team on Sunday, even if he has to pick four people out of the crowd. John goes outside and walks around, asking if there are four people that can join him Sunday. There’s a man dressed as a nun, a guy with a sailor’s hat and two kids. Those four would have more passion than the Authority and that’s why Cena’s team is going to win. Cena offers us a preview for tonight and sits down in a chair.

Kane is going to be the first and then Luke Harper will fail. He’s from the swamp so he’ll be used to swamping in his pants. Rusev is next and HHH will start sweating through his suit while Stephanie is vomiting. When they wake up they’ll be hungry so Cena can feed them Sexual Chocolate. Cena gets in the ring and says the Golden Boy with a thing for latex will fall last and HHH will be left cleaning toilets. Stephanie slaps Cena and it’s time to fight.

Cena gets ready but Ziggler and Big Show limp out to stand next to John. Lawler: “80% of a team is better than no team at all!” HHH counts the people but here’s….ERICK ROWAN to help balance things out? Stephanie doesn’t know what to do but says there’s still one spot open. She gives Team Cena one last chance to reconsider but here’s Cesaro of all people….to stand with the Authority.

Stephanie asks if there are any more surprises so here’s Ryback and it really is on. Well that makes most of tonight pointless but it makes the most sense. Everyone brawls to the floor until it’s HHH and Ryback in the ring. They stare each other down until Cena comes back in to AA HHH through a table. Team Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was rough and a lot of that is due to how they’re building up Survivor Series. I’m sure they’ll add some stuff the night of the show or maybe on Smackdown, but right now there are four matches announced for Sunday and two of them are taking up 18 names, assuming they don’t get thrown into other matches for some reason.

The problem right now is everything is put in the main event and while it’s a good story, it’s not enough to carry three hours. Tying everything of note up in one match is never a good idea and it’s going to make the rest of the card feel empty. They should have gone with four on four and had at least one other major match for Sunday, but to be fair it is free so it’s going to be hard to care about.

The worst part about it is the main event on Sunday is a well built match. They have a big match and have made it unclear as to who is going to win. However, when that’s what 80% of Raw is about, it’s a very hard show to sit through. Having ten guys in a single match was too much, but maybe they’ll mix things up on Sunday.

This show really didn’t do much for me but it could have been far worse. Thankfully the Grumpy Cat was just there for a few backstage bits, but that begs the question: is it worth bringing him in and paying however much it cost and all the eye rolling from your base to do some quick gags? I could ask the same for next Monday with Larry the Cable Guy (seriously, it’s 2014) but they have enough problems on Sunday already.

Results

Luke Harper b. Dolph Ziggler – Discus lariat

Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter

Ryback b. Cesaro – Shell Shock

Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Rusev and Mark Henry interfered

Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos/Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Jimmy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Hell in a Cell 2014: Even Better This Time Around

Hell in a Cell 2014
Date: October 26, 2014
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event this year as we have two matches inside the Cell for the sake of having two matches inside the Cell. First up, in what should be the main event, we have Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose in a well built feud that belongs in the Cell. On the other hand, we have Cena vs. Orton in a match that is in the Cell to fill in a spot on the card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry

This is a bonus match and seems to have replaced MizdowTV. Bo declares himself the new World’s Strongest Man after beating Henry four times in a row. He’s immune to Ebola (not said by name here) and is ashamed that this city shares his name. Therefore his last name is Bo Washington (the Washington Redskins are playing the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football tomorrow night). Henry hammers away to start and almost throws Dallas out of his shirt. World’s Strongest Slam ends Bo in 34 seconds.

Bo says he wasn’t ready and that Henry cheated. Cheaters never win, so Bo is the winner in the record book of life and is 5-0 against Henry. Mark throws him into the barricade for good measure.

The opening video focuses on how violent the Cell can be. Most of the focus is on Orton vs. Cena, which hopefully doesn’t mean that’s the main event. Ambrose vs. Rollins gets its share of time too though.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro

This is 2/3 falls with Ziggler defending after they traded wins in the last week. Ziggler comes out first for some reason and Cole actually brings up the title being won for the first time in Rio de Janiero. Cesaro looks to have shaved the rest of his hair. We get some grappling to start with Cesaro taking him down to the mat and cranking on a chinlock. Off to a chinlock as Cesaro does some of the most obvious spot calling I’ve seen in years.

Back up and they trade rollups for two each until Ziggler gets caught in the Swing for two. Dolph kicks out but hangs on to Cesaro for a rollup and the pin at 3:43. Cesaro is furious and hammers away but misses a middle rope elbow. A STIFF right hand puts Ziggler down and we hit a kneeling reverse chinlock on the champion. Cesaro goes after the arm but still can’t tie things up. He sends Dolph to the apron for the superplex but Dolph his arm across the top rope to take over.

Dolph actually stays on the arm with a cobra clutch but Cesaro spins him around into a suplex attempt. Ziggler turns that into something like a Kimura until Cesaro drives him into the corner. The hold stays on as Cesaro climbs the ropes and throws Ziggler up for a superplex. That looked great but Cesaro can’t cover due to the arm. Ziggler is up at two and avoids a charge to send him arm first into the post, setting up the Fameasser for two. The running DDT is countered into Swiss Death for two but the Neutralizer is countered into a Stunner on the arm and the Zig Zag to retain the title at 12:24.

Rating: B-. Good match here, even though it makes me wonder why they bothered having Ziggler lose clean on Monday. Cesaro did his usual here: blow the fans’ minds with big moves and then lose anyway because I guess his victory was popping the crowd. I’m not sure where Ziggler goes after this but at least he had a good match here.

We recap the end of Raw where Rollins attacked Orton in a big surprise.

The Authority is in the back and Orton is looking for Rollins. Stephanie tells him to use his anger on Cena tonight but Orton wants to get his hands on Seth. HHH tries to calm things down again by saying Orton and Rollins are a lot alike. Randy leaves, but says if HHH doesn’t deal with Rollins, he will.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella

Loser is the winner’s servant for 30 days. They lock up to start with Brie sending Nikki into the corner but missing a charge. Nikki runs her over for two and a facebuster gets the same. The fans start chanting JBL because NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS STORY. Brie plants her face first for two before hitting a few dropkicks. A running knee to the face has Nikki in trouble but she misses a charge and falls out to the floor.

She comes up clutching her knee and heads back inside to take a missile dropkick for two. Nikki pops back up and hooks the Rack for two. Brie slaps on the YES Lock but Nikki gets her feet on the ropes. Nikki comes back with a hard forearm to the face and a second Rack for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. The worst part: the wrestling wasn’t all that bad. The problem with this is it’s one of the least interesting stories in years as I don’t even remember why they’re fighting. I get that it’s about Brie quitting but are we really supposed to care that a woman is dating John Cena (wait, does that relationship exist in WWE?) and had to wrestle some handicap matches against some heels. Also, if Nikki hates her sister so much, why would she want her around for thirty more days?

WWE2K15 ad.

The expert panel of Renee, Booker T., Heyman and Alex Riley talk about what we’ve seen so far.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

The Dusts are defending. Stardust and Jimmy get things going with the twin getting slammed down. Jimmy comes back by missing a kick but gets two off a flip splash. Off to Goldust vs. Jey as the challengers take over, only to have Jimmy get sent knee first into the post. Goldust slaps on a chinlock and gets two off a powerslam. The release gordbuster drops Jimmy and we hit the chinlock again. Back up and Stardust’s bulldog is countered before Goldust is backdropped to the floor.

The hot tag brings in Jey to clean house as the Usos hit their big dives. Goldust takes the running Umaga Attack in the corner for two but Jey has to go after Stardust, allowing Goldust to get two of his own off a spinebuster. Jey superkicks him down for two more before the Usos hit stereo superplexes. There’s a Superfly Splash to Goldust but Stardust makes a save at two. A quick kick to the back of the knee sets up the Final Cut from Goldust to retain the titles at 10:25.

Rating: B-. Another good match but another case where I do not care about the story because we’ve seen these teams fight half a dozen times in six man tags over the last few weeks. The division is back to having two teams again and that makes some very dull periods. At least the wrestling is good but it’s only going to last so long.

Some singer cares about breast cancer. November can’t get here soon enough.

We recap Orton vs. Cena with a nice package on rivalries. They’re playing this up to be amongst the greatest rivalries ever but the amount of times they’ve fought hurts it a lot.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

In the Cell and the winner gets a match with Lesnar at some point in the future. Before the match the camera picks up on a Cena vs. Orton sign then zooms out when we see that it’s complaining about how many times they’ve fought. Orton takes over to start and hammers away to send Cena out to the floor. John goes face first into the steel before they head back inside. Orton brings in a chair but Cena kicks it away for a breather.

That’s fine with Randy as he headbutts Cena down and gets in a few chair shots for two. Orton drives the chair into the ribs a few times before taking Cena outside to rub his face against the Cell again. A few more rams are good for two and we hit the chinlock. Cena fights up for his comeback but walks into a kick to the head and the powerslam. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop and now it’s Cena ramming him back first into the Cell.

John tries one too many times though and gets crotched against the post to change advantage again. They stay on the floor with Cena sending him back into the cage and pulling out a table. It’s set up in the corner but Orton gets in the first few blows to take over again. The RKO gets two and Cena being thrown through the table gets the same. Randy’s next weapon of choice is the stairs but Cena slams him onto the steel for two more. The AA is countered though and a low blow gets two for Randy.

The STF goes on but Orton makes the ropes. This is the Cell though so it means nothing, meaning Orton has to crawl under the ropes to escape. John picks up the steps and throws them as hard as he can through the ropes, only to hit the Cell by mistake. Back in and they trade finishers for two each, including the AA countered into the RKO. Even the fans knew to expect that spot. Another AA gets two but both guys are down. Randy brings in another table and crotches him on the top but a middle rope RKO is countered into a middle rope AA through the table for the pin at 25:50.

Rating: B. They went with the regular big match showdown here and that’s the best thing they could have done. These two are almost out of ideas and thankfully they had a good one here. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but they know how to work the big match formula. Also thank goodness this was the first half main event instead of having it close the show.

Cena stares Heyman down.

Big Show and Henry are getting ready in the back.

US Title: Miz vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending. Apparently the MizdowTV did happen as the pre-shows are now all an hour long. There doesn’t seem to be much to it as Miz praised Mizdow and Sheamus might have Brogue Kicked a cameraman. Sheamus starts the match with a Brogue Kick attempt but Miz bails to the ropes. That’s fine with Sheamus as he grabs the ten forearms, complete with Mizdow grabbing the bottom rope and selling them as well.

They head outside with Miz taking out Mizdow by mistake but actually using the distraction to nail Sheamus and take over. Sheamus quickly fights back and hits the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor for two. He motions that it’s time for the face but Miz takes him down and gets two of his own off the low DDT. The fans chant for Mizdow as Miz counters White Noise into a failed Figure Four attempt. Sheamus scores with a powerslam and calls for the Brogue, only to have to go after Mizdow. Miz’s rollup doesn’t work but the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick retains the title at 8:25.

Rating: C. Mizdow was the star of this match and I’m hoping they get to his face turn soon enough. Maybe they can have him get the title off Sheamus soon enough and make Miz jealous or something like that but it would be better than Sheamus beating them up every week. Match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw.

Post match Mizdow lays next to Miz so Sheamus has some fun with them by making Miz, and Sandow as a result, do the YMCA dance.

Brie has to load up Nikki’s bags in the car and is all evil about a smoothie. You can guess where the smoothie winds up.

We recap Rusev vs. Big Show. In short: America good, Russia bad, repeat for six to eight weeks and throw in Rusev kicking a US soldier.

Rusev vs. Big Show

Lana is in pink tonight. They slug it out to start with Rusev getting the better of it by going after the leg to put Show down. Rusev stays on the leg with the wide variety of leg stuff that you often see used on giants as this isn’t off to the hottest start in the world. A nice suplex drops Show again for two. The Accolade is countered into something like Charlie Haas’ Haas of Pain but Rusev is right next to the ropes.

Back up and Show hits a spear as Henry comes out. There’s the chokeslam to Rusev and he rolls outside, only to have Show call Henry off and throw Rusev back in. There’s the jumping superkick to Show and Henry, followed by two more to Show. The Accolade goes on and Show gives up at 8:04.

Rating: D. This was every big Rusev match we’ve seen so far but there’s only so much you can do with osmeone like Big Show. There’s no doubt in who is going to win these things and that’s the problem with someone like Rusev. He really needs to move up to someone more mobile now and Sheamus might be just the right option.

You know breast cancer? It’s still bad.

Ambrose goes on a rant about Seth Rollins as a Halloween costume resembling roadkill and oatmeal on a pogo stick. It didn’t make any more sense when he said it.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

AJ is defending and Alicia Fox is in Paige’s corner. They trade knockdowns to start until Paige kicks her in the ribs to take over. AJ comes back with a rolling cradle for two and they head outside with AJ having to nail Fox. Back in and Paige takes over with some shots to the back and a double arm crank to kill some time. They get back up and Paige stays on her, including a fall away slam (complete with skipping) for two. Back outside with AJ sending her head first into the barricade, setting up the Black Widow to retain at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but again, I’m sick of seeing these two fight. They’ve had like five or six matches on PPV already and there’s just no need to have them go at it anymore. Much like the tag division, there’s such a lack of depth to this title and it’s really starting to show again.

The Cell is lowered and we recap Ambrose vs. Rollins. Seth turned on the Shield and joined the Authority, sending Dean on a quest for revenge. The Authority kept interfering so let’s lock them in a big box.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Dean is out first and throws a bunch of chairs and some bags in the ring before climbing the Cell. Rollins comes out but doesn’t want to go up so he sends the Stooges up instead. They go up and get the beating you would expect, only to have Rollins sneak up and destroy Ambrose with the Stooges’ help. There hasn’t been a bell yet. They slowly climb halfway down the side of the cage and we get the first major spot of the match as they ram each other into the Cell and fly through the announcers’ tables.

Both guys are put on stretchers as the match stops. Dean realizes what’s going on though and gets off his stretcher. He goes after Rollins and drags him into the Cell to officially start things off. Dean busts out some duct tape but blasts Seth over and over again with a chair instead of using it. He tries the screwdriver to Seth’s face but Rollins snaps his throat across the top to escape. Dean pops back up and dropkicks Rollins into the Cell to take over again. They get back inside so Dean can clothesline Seth out to the floor.

The suicide dive sends Seth into the Cell wall and Rollins is almost dead. Back in again and Dean piles up chairs but gets suplexed onto them instead. Dean gets right back up and puts Seth across a table at ringside for a middle rope elbow ala Cactus Jack. He rubs Seth’s face into the steel but Kane pops up with a fire extinguisher to blind Ambrose. Seth powerbombs Dean through a standing table against the Cell and they go back inside again.

The Curb Stomp gets two and Seth is frustrated. He goes outside for the briefcase but instead just destroys Dean with chair shots. Rollins puts him head first on the briefcase but Dean counters with Dirty Deeds, only to have Seth escape with a kick to the head. Dean comes back with a Rebound clothesline and a briefcase shot to the face for an even closer two.

Now it’s cinder block time with Dean loading up a Curb Stomp of his own but we’ve got Wyatts. Well at least Bray speaking in tongues and now a lantern in the ring. Smoke fills the ring and we have what looks like a ghost in the middle of it. Bray pops up and nails Ambrose as the lights go out again. Back up with Bray spider walking over to Ambrose and laying him out with a release Rock Bottom to give a shocked Rollins the pin at 13:48.

Rating: B+. It’s a good fight but the ending hurts it a bit. This is probably the best option they could have gone with as you don’t want Rollins losing but you also don’t want Dean to lose all of his heat. Ambrose vs. Wyatt should be good but I would have liked this feud to have a more definitive ending. Unfortunately that wasn’t really possible and this puts Bray back in the spotlight with a feud he could actually win.

Dean takes Sister Abigail to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The big matches delivered but man alive does the midcard need to be replenished. Most of the stuff in there just feels like we’ve seen it a million times before and it’s really hard to care again. They desperately need to figure out something other than “put the wrestlers in tag matches” or “just have them fight a few times before they fight again on PPV” because it’s killing the PPV matches. Still though, it’s an entertaining show and that’s all you can hope for with gimmick shows.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Zig Zag

Nikki Bella b. Brie Bella – Rack

Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Final Cut to Jimmy Uso

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment

Sheamus b. Miz – Brogue Kick

Rusev b. Big Show – Accolade
AJ Lee b. Paige – Black Widow

Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Pin after a Rock Bottom from Bray Wyatt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 24: Brie Bella

Today is Brie Bella. Let’s get this over with.

This is going to be about Brie, not about the Bella Twins. Well at least in regular tag matches.

The Bellas got hired in September 2007 and were sent to FCW. After about a year in developmental, Brie would debut on Smackdown on August 29, 2008.

Victoria vs. Brie Bella

The best part of this: Taz and JR hype up Classics on Demand with FORTY hours of content a month just eight bucks. Victoria grabs a headlock to start and sends Brie into the corner, only to get taken down by some fling snapmares. A backbreaker gets two on Brie and the standing moonsault gets the same but Victoria stops to talk a lot of trash. She can back it up though as a kick to the ribs puts Brie on the floor. Back in and Brie grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Here’s a classic from ECW on SyFy on March 30, 2009.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Nikki comes out with Miz and Morrison but Brie counters with Carlito and Primo. Brie grabs a quick rollup for two before just hammering away at her sister’s face. Some armdrags put Nikki down but she grabs a quick suplex for two. Brie hooks a bulldog but the tag teams get in a brawl, allowing Nikki to roll up Brie for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this is going to be even worse when we get the big showdown in a few months. The girls just aren’t that good in the ring and it really shows in these matches. Nikki and Brie try out there but they seem to take things way more seriously than they should and it drags everything down. Just be good looking women and shake your hips.

To Superstars on July 16, 2009.

Brie Bella vs. Katie Lea

A quick rollup gets two for Brie and a snapmare puts Katie down. Katie comes right back with a backbreaker for two and a dropkick to the back. Brie gets back up and they slug it out with Brie taking over, only to get kicked to the floor. Twin Magic lets Nikki grab a rollup for the pin.

We’ll jump ahead to Brie being a pro on NXT, October 26, 2010.

Brie Bella vs. AJ

The Bellas have split up and aren’t living together anymore. Oh hey Primo is here again. I forgot he existed. Big clothesline by Brie gets two. I know I’m in the minority here but the Bellas are gorgeous and this is no exception. AJ gets two feet up to block a charge so Brie hits the floor. Nikki gets on her and Primo says DON’T DO IT! AJ gets a half rear naked choke (what kind of a name is that anyway?) half sleeper which gets her nowhere. AJ is all aggressive here but not in a heel style. Nikki pulls Brie out when the referee isn’t looking and a bad looking X Factor ends it for Nikki in a little over 4:00.

Rating: C-. This was a bit better than the first with an actual angle is involved here so that always tends to help. AJ was impressive here but I guess she’s not supposed to beat the Pros here. This wasn’t much here but it could have been far worse. It’s so interesting to see Brie as the star instead of the future huge star in AJ.

Time for a mixed tag on Raw, December 6, 2010.

Ted DiBiase/Maryse vs. Daniel Bryan/Brie Bella

Before the match we see Daniel Bryan coming out of a locker room with Brie Bella. Nikki comes up and seems rather jealous. I’m liking where this is going. The guys start us off and here comes Nikki. The Bellas are looking very good tonight in red. Punk says he’s seeing double. There’s a Foreigner song in there somewhere. Bryan beats on Ted for a few seconds before the girls come in. Maryse gets beaten on for a bit. Ted comes in for the save and it’s a big brawl a minute and a half in. There’s the Twin Magic and Nikki rolls up Maryse for the pin at 2:12.

Another Raw from April 11, 2011.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella

Brie allegedly won a Divas battle royal to win this shot. Wasn’t that weeks ago and she got the shot already? Eve brings a marker to have an X put on Nikki’s hand so we know she’s on the floor. That’s rather intelligent. Brie takes her down to start but Eve makes her comeback with a dropkick and the standing moonsault for two. Eve gets her in the Tree of Woe and when she’s being taken off there’s a switch. While Nikki is being taken out Brie sneaks up on her and an X-Factor gives Brie the title at 2:20. Weak match but all the girls looked good from a looks perspective at least.

Time for a PPV title match at Over the Limit 2011.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Cole even says this will be boring. This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose. LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time. Theres Twin Magic, XFactor, Nikki gets the pin to give Brie the title.

Rating: F. Dang it why did this have to be long enough to grade? The match was awful the whole way through as they have no business being on PPV. Watching Nunzio as the referee and the girls looking good are the only high spots here. Also, no sign of Kharma. How in the world can you validate this being on PPV? I give up.

A rematch on Raw, August 29, 100.

Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Oh joy, it’s this match again. Kelly hammers away to start and we cut to Beth and Natalya complaining about someone else that are causing the problems. They should be in the ring, not Kelly. The twins switch places and Nikki gets the pin with an X-Factor at 1:18.

We need gimmicks! From the live Holiday Special Smackdown on November 29, 2011.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

The Bellas would leave WWE for about a year and do pretty much nothing in their time away. Here they are back at Summerslam 2013.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Another title shot at Battleground 2013.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

Brie is challenging and takes AJ down with ease, sending the champion out to the floor. AJ hides behind Tamina and heads back inside to take over. Brie is sent into the post and AJ goes after the arm, wrapping it around the middle rope. Brie’s DDT is countered into a DDT on the arm for two before sending her shoulder first “into” the post.

AJ keeps shouting about being better than Brie before going off on the bad arm with elbows. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar but AJ lets it go to skip around the ring. Brie dropkicks her down and hits some really basic stuff before knocking AJ down with a running knee. Tamina is choking Nikki Bella down though and the distraction lets AJ roll up Brie for the pin with a handful of tights at 6:32.

Rating: D+. To recap this story, AJ won the Divas Title clean, defeated every one of the Total Divas in the same match with a completely clean submission hold, and has held the title against all of them, but we’re supposed to boo her because the other girls are catty to each other on a reality show. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw, but the fans were more into it than they were the IC Title match.

Here’s validation for a rematch on Smackdown, October 18, 2013.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

Brie has a banged up shoulder. AJ immediately bails to the floor a few times but Tamina blocks Brie from going after her. Tamina finally moves and Brie gets in a right hand before sending it back inside. AJ absorbs everything Brie throws at her and snaps the bad arm over the top rope to take over. Off to an armbar as Brie screams a lot. Brie’s arm is wrapped around the middle rope and it’s already back to another armbar. The twin comes back with an elbow in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Nikki throws Tamina into the steps, allowing Brie to grab a TERRIBLE looking Bella Buster for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. If this is supposed to make me sympathize with or care about the Bellas, it’s not quite working. I have a hard time caring about two beautiful women on a reality show who happen to be sleeping with two of the three top guys in the company. The whole feud started because AJ said she was a wrestler and Brie is a reality TV personality but we’re supposed to like the reality TV star on the wrestling show. Yet WWE is surprised it’s not working.

And the rematch at Hell in a Cell 2013.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

AJ is defending. Brie gets shoved down to start and it’s off to a quick chinlock. The fans are noticeably not that interested in the match to put it mildly. A neckbreaker puts Brie down and AJ skips around the ring to the only reaction so far. AJ hooks a guillotine choke but Brie drives her into the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick to put the champion down.

A few more dropkicks have AJ in trouble but she sends Brie into the corner to stop her. The Black Widow is countered and Brie puts on a half crab as Nikki beats up Tamina. AJ makes the rope and Brie’s running knee hits her sister, allowing the Black Widow to retain the title for AJ at 5:20.

Rating: D+. THANK GOODNESS. It’s so nice to see the talented and popular wrestler get the chance for once instead of bowing to reality TV. This likely sets up the Bella feud which no one is interested in but will give us lots of moments to look at the camera for some very REAL heart to heart moments.

Time for a six Divas tag on Raw, February 10, 2014.

Aksana/Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Cameron

Nikkia hits a quick facebuster on AJ to start and sends her to the floor before it’s off to Aksana. Nikki does the Worm for no apparent reason and kicks Aksana in the back for two. Brie comes in and is slammed down for two and it’s off to Alicia for another slam out of the corner for two more. A rollup gets two for Brie and Alicia runs her over to set up a chinlock. Nikki is sent to the floor as Cameron gets the hot tag and cleans house. Cameron takes Alicia down with a headscissors and gets two off a dropkick to the side of the head. A DDT, apparently called Girl Bye is enough to pin Fox at 4:43.

Rating: D-. Next. That’s all I’ve got here.

Off to a big mess at Wrestlemania XXX where the Bellas kind of stole the show.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Invitational

Aksana, Alicia Fox, AJ Lee, Naomi, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka.

So AJ is defending and is facing the entire division, as in thirteen other girls. Good reaction for the champion but this is the death spot to end all death spots. Vickie is at ringside holding the title. AJ and Tamina are thrown into the middle of the ring and beaten on for a solid three seconds before it breaks down. Everyone is in the ring at the same time mind you. The fans want refunds and chant for Undertaker.

There’s nothing to call here other than the girls look good in their outfits and Rosa looks bizarre with short bleach blonde hair. Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Cameron, Rosa and someone else but Eva makes the save. A quadruple suplex gets four near falls before Cameron hits a running Codebreaker on the champion. Cameron’s top has been ripped apart and she keeps having to cover up.

The Emma Sandwich crushes Summer and it’s time for the Parade of Finishers/moves that are allegedly finishers because most of these girls don’t ever win anything. Eva, in a swimsuit, shoves Tamina down but runs away from her. Everyone but the Bellas are knocked to the floor and the twins hit some nice suicide dives to take them out. Now it’s time for the Bellas to fight but Alicia and Nattie come back in to break it up. Tamina nails Natalya with a Samoan drop but Naomi breaks up the Splash. Natalya slams Aksana off the top for two and AJ puts Naomi in the Black Widow for the submission to retain at 6:43.

Rating: D+. There were fourteen girls in there at once and one fall to a finish. What in the world were you expecting here? Also they knew there was no way anyone was going to care and they didn’t really try to fight it. Those dives by the Bellas were nice though. Odds are this sets up Paige debuting though as there’s literally no one left for AJ to beat. Or Kharma comes back.

We’ll wrap it up with the biggest match of Brie’s career, arguably the second main event at Summerslam 2014.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Stephanie is almost in a black superhero outfit. They slowly shove each other to start until Stephanie stomps away in the corner. Brie comes back with a YES Lock attempt to send Stephanie running outside, but she blocks Brie’s suicide dive with a forearm. Back in and a Hennig necksnap gets two on Brie as the announcers talk about how awesome Stephanie is. She stomps on Brie’s head and cranks on the arms as Brie looks mildly annoyed.

Brie finally kicks her in the face so Stephanie turns on the EVIL FACE, only to get caught by a Thesz Press. Some kicks in the ribs have Stephanie in trouble and a hair drag does the same. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two on McMahon and there are some HORRIBLE looking right hands.

Cue HHH for a distraction but Brie counters Stephanie’s Pedigree attempt into the YES Lock, but HHH pulls the referee to the floor. Brie kicks HHH down and starts a YES chant as Nikki is at ringside as well. Nikki comes in and stops Stephanie from leaving before turning on Brie as almost everyone expected her to. Nikki helps Stephanie up and a Pedigree gives her the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. Well you knew she wasn’t going to job. It’s on a bit of an adjusted scale but the match was shockingly good. That being said, it was NOWHERE near enough to justify the push its been receiving. All this to set up the Bellas fighting each other? They really think this is something people are going to be interested in? Dear goodness imagine the promos we’re going to have to sit through. The girls all looked good though.

I think I’ve covered my thoughts on Brie Bella over the last few months. She’s a very pretty woman who can rock a tight outfit, but her in ring work can only get her so far. Her acting skills on the other hand are about as horrible as humanly possible. I don’t think the fans care about the Bellas’ drama and just want to see them in outfits and looking good. There’s nothing wrong with the Divas having stories, but hearing about Brie wrecking Nikki’s car at 16 and shouting about holding each other back isn’t it. Brie has her place and is good at it when she isn’t pushed way over her head.

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Smackdown – September 5, 2014: Holla Holla Holla!

Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2014
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I really hope this show is better than Raw as I can’t imagine things getting much worse. This week’s episode of Raw was one of the least interesting and flat out horrible shows that I can remember in a very long time. To make things even worse, tonight we have Paige vs. Brie Bella as the story that swallowed the WWE is moving to Fridays. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to get things going. He immediately gets a cheap pop by talking about wearing red at the University of Nebraska. In less than three weeks, we’re done with lawsuits and what’s best for business because he’s going to fight Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. He isn’t going to come out here and just do the Queen’s wave because it’s what the company thinks he should do.

At Night of Champions, he’s going to fight because that’s what he does. The day he comes down here not wanting to be champion again is the day he walks out the door. The fans actually start a loud CENA chant (complete with shots of the crowd to show it’s legitimate) for the first time in longer than I can remember. He knows this is going to be a fight but he’s going to take Lesnar on and fight. Then he’ll tell the Authority to line them up so he can knock them down and you can still get the WWE Network for $9.99.

Cena is on a roll here but Kane and Rollins come down to interrupt. They accuse Cena of having a mid career crisis but John isn’t going to take advise from a demon brother of a dead guy who is now the spokesman for Men’s Warehouse. Kane threatens to put Cena in a match but this brings out Roman Reigns. Roman says he’s going to finish his business with Randy Orton on Monday and would love to start tonight, but Orton isn’t here. Therefore he can focus on Kane and Rollins, so let’s get started right now.

Cena is ready to go but Kane and Rollins say not so fast. Rollins says the Authority is one step ahead of them and we’ve got Wyatts. This brings out Jericho, Big Show and Mark Henry. We’re still not done yet though as HHH comes out, says “let me tell you something playa” (seriously) and makes a ten man tag. “Now how about that playa?” And, complete with a leg in the air and a one armed raising the roof, “HOLLA!” AND TEDDY LONG’S MUSIC PLAYS!!! This was a very solid opening segment with Cena nailing the promo and HHH cracking me up.

Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title and Sheamus is on commentary. Cesaro takes him down and grabs a quick chinlock, only to get caught by a neckbeaker. Ziggler’s jumping elbow gets two but he walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Dolph down. A European uppercut drops Ziggler again but Cesaro goes outside to jaw with Sheamus before covering. He cranks on a cravate for a bit before a gorilla press gutbuster gets two more.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler nailing a jawbreaker to escape another cravate. Ziggler loads up the splash in the corner but dives into another uppercut for another two. Dolph spins around Cesaro’s shoulders and grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Ziggler counters Swiss Death with the jumping DDT for a near fall of his own. Cesaro gets back up and tries the Neutralizer but gets rolled up for the pin at 6:51 shown of 10:21.

Rating: C-. The match was the decent action you would expect from these two, but the booking continues to make my head hurt. You either job a champion or you job a guy that is getting a title shot in a few weeks. Why WWE felt the need to book this is beyond me, but the fact that they see nothing wrong with pushing the Bellas this much and jobbing Cesaro clean before he gets a title shot should tell you everything you need to know.

Cesaro pounds on Ziggler post match but Sheamus makes the save. They yell at each other until Sheamus throws the belt at Cesaro and lays him out with a Brogue Kick.

Stardust talks about needing what they have and about one of the Usos being hurt. He keeps turning around and changes his tone every time. Apparently they have a title shot at Night of Champions.

Jimmy Uso vs. Heath Slater

Jey is on a crutch. Jimmy misses a quick superkick attempt and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater stomps away and hooks a chinlock before sending Jimmy into the corner. Uso fights out and nails a Whisper in the Wind for two. He has to kick Titus down though and walks into a side kick for two. Cole: “The Gator is down!” JBL: “Call Skinner!” Back up and the superkick knocks Slater out of the air and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 2:59.

We look back at the Divas segment from Raw.

Stephanie announces Nikki vs. AJ vs. Paige for the title at Night of Champions.

Nikki thanks Stephanie for her announcement and says she’s finally learning what it means to have a real sister. She talks about being treated horribly by her sister all her life.

Here are Lana and Rusev to respond to Mark Henry. Lana says we’re in America’s heartland but that’s an oxymoron because America has no heart. If it had one though, it would be made in China. America used to be great but is soon to be nothing, just like Mark Henry. This brings out Mark who says he challenged Rusev, but that isn’t the question. The question is whether Rusev is going to accept the challenge or hide behind the woman that looks like an escort. Lana accepts the challenge on Rusev’s behalf and Henry promises to give him a red white and blue whipping.

Jerry Springer will be having an intervention with the Bellas on Raw. Oh dear.

Paige vs. Brie Bella

Non-title, AJ is on commentary and Nikki is at ringside. Brie has her own music now and it’s the generic pop rock song you would expect it to be. Brie takes her to the mat to start and we’re quickly in the catfight. Paige gets taken down out of a lockup but pulls Brie out to the floor. Back in and Paige crawls onto Brie as AJ makes some comments about missing her baby. Brie comes back with clotheslines and a running knee to the chest. The fans chant YES but AJ and Nikki are in a fight on the floor. Brie hits a missile dropkick as AJ beats up Nikki, sending Brie outside for a save. She heads back in for the Rampaige and the pin at 4:27.

Rating: D+. The catfighting makes me think the Bella showdown is going to be an even bigger disaster than I thought. Brie can be passable in the ring but Nikki has never proven herself capable of having more than a bad match. This was nothing special and was more about the drama than the wrestling, which is better in a way but still bad.

Harper says Wyatt is a serpent and the rat can’t run fast enough. Bray tells Jericho that he has to pay for his sins on Monday. Rowan adds in a RUN.

Bo Dallas vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder dropkicks him at the bell and nails a faceplant, only to have Bo pop up for the Bodog and the pin at 43 seconds.

Post match Bo says everyone must be living in Nebraska because of some horrible choices in their lives. If Jack Swagger can turn their lives around, so can everyone else. He’s about to start his own WE THE PEOPLE when Swagger hits the ring and beats him up.

We see the Rollins/Ambrose/Reigns stuff again.

Roman Reigns/John Cena/Chris Jericho/Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Wyatt Family/Kane/Seth Rollins

We get a LOUD Y2J chant as Big Show starts with Rollins. The giant hits his loud chop in the corner and brings in Henry for a splash. Big Show loads up a gorilla press but Rollins escapes and tags in Wyatt. Bray is quickly thrown around so it’s off to Rowan for the big man showdown. Show busts out a sunset flip for two followed by a hard shoulder block. He rips open Erick’s coveralls for a chop before it’s back to Henry for another splash.

Jericho comes in to a big pop and nails Erick with a dropkick to the side of Rowan’s head. We take a break and come back with Kane dropkicking Big Show’s knee out. Off to Wyatt for some stomping before Harper slaps on a chinlock. Big Show fights up but gets dropkicked down for two, with the kickout sending Harper out to the floor. Seth comes in to work on the leg before quickly tagging in Wyatt. A DDT gets two and it’s already back to Harper for a headlock.

Big Show suplexes him down and finally makes the tag off to Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop to puts Harper down but they head to the floor where the numbers game results in Reigns being sent into the barricade. We take another break and come back with Rowan holding Reigns in the skull crusher. Reigns is sent to the floor and Rollins whips him into the barricade while talking trash. Back in for another chinlock but Reigns powers up, only to get kicked in the head.

Harper comes in again as Cena is pacing around on the floor playing cheerleader. Reigns suplexes Luke down but charges into a big boot for two. It’s back to Kane who walks into a running clothesline and the hot tag brings in Jericho. A top rope shot to the head puts Kane down and the Lionsault connects, only to have Kane pop up and grab him for a chokeslam. Jericho counters with an enziguri but can’t get the Walls.

Bray comes in for a save and it’s quickly back to Harper as we take an almost unheard of third break. Back with Rollins working over Jericho with some right hands. Jericho backdrops Rollins to the floor but Seth dives back in to pull Jericho away from the tag. Bray headbutts him a few times and puts on another chinlock.

The running cross body gets two but Bray is down as well. Wyatt spiders up but Jericho elbows out of a Rock Bottom. A dropkick puts Bray down and we FINALLY get the tag to Cena. Everything breaks down and the parade of secondary finishers begins. With everyone else down, Cena puts Rollins in the STF but the Wyatts all come in for the DQ at 17:49 shown of 28:19.

Rating: C+. The match was decent but it felt long more than anything else. They’re doing a good job of making Cena look explosive but I still think they’re keeping the title on Lesnar at the PPV. It doesn’t make sense to have Brock dominate that much at Summerslam and then have Cena win just because he’s fighting harder. The match was good enough and was a decent enough use of half an hour.

The good guys all hit their finishers with Cena planting Rollins with an AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was nothing great but man alive does that one less hour make a difference. It doesn’t drag things down and makes the show much easier to sit through. That and a lack of recaps really helps things along. The main event was decent enough but it took away a lot of matches that could have filled out the card. At least the ten man match was a fourth of the show so everything else wasn’t left hanging. It says a lot when a totally average show is miles ahead of Raw. Granted HHH’s Teddy Long stuff was hilarious.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Heath Slater – Superfly Splash

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige

Bo Dallas b. Zack Ryder – Bodog

John Cena/Big Show/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry/Chris Jericho b. Seth Rollins/Kane/Wyatt Family via DQ when the Wyatt Family attacked Cena at the same time

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Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2014: I’ve Never Told Anyone This, But The Bellas Are Awful

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Labor Day and we’ve got less than three weeks before Night of Champions. The main stories for tonight are the return of some needed big names like Jericho and Orton. Last week made it clear that they didn’t have the talent pool to fill a three hour show so those two should help things out a little bit. Also tonight we get Cena’s response to Lesnar and Heyman’s promo last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with Chris Jericho in the ring for the Highlight Reel. JBL is already over him, talking over Jericho’s lines about how bored he is. Jericho is glad to be in Des Moines. “I love those cheap pops!” His guest tonight is someone who has been given everything he’s ever had in WWE: Randy Orton. Instead he gets HHH, Kane, Rollins and Orton, all in suits. Jericho calls Kane Jaws (James Bond reference) but HHH says Jericho is the man who never grew up. “Figuratively and literally.”

Jericho references Stephanie getting arrested and wants to know why HHH is wearing a pink tie. HHH insists it’s violet and talks about watching Lesnar vs. Cena from Summerslam over and over. After seeing how brutal it was on Cena, he was thinking of giving someone else a title shot at Night of Champions. Orton says it’s him, and reminds Chris that he’s earned everything in WWE. Kane and Rollins both suggest themselves, with Rollins getting a very nice reaction as the hometown boy. Jericho thinks he should get the shot, but here’s serious Cena to interrupt.

Cena isn’t cool with people saying he can’t win just because some Hall of Famers thought he can’t beat Lesnar. People didn’t think he could beat HHH at Wrestlemania XXII but he made him tap out. Cena invoked his rematch clause and HHH approved it, so now if HHH changes things, he’s facing a lawsuit. If that happens, Cena will be the COO and fire HHH as a result. HHH is amazed to hear Cena threatening lawsuits and says he’s trying to prevent Cena from going over the edge.

He knows his job and knows what being COO means. HHH can’t let Cena get hurt again, but Rollins and Orton both imply they can beat Lesnar. Jericho brings up Reigns beating Orton at Summerslam but Randy says he could lay out Reigns right now. Cue Reigns of course to tell Orton to drop him right now. Roman says he belongs in the title hunt so HHH makes a six man tag for a chance to prove themselves, whatever that means. Rollins tries to nail Reigns and gets punched in the jaw.

Miz/Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler/Sheamus

The villains have Sandow and some chick at ringside with them. Cesaro uppercuts Ziggler in the face and drops ten elbows of his own for no cover. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but goes after Miz, sending him running to the floor. Miz sits in a chair while Sandow gives him water and the girl checks on Miz’s makeup. The movie star comes in but gets caught in a Thesz Press, sending him running away from the right hands.

Sheamus chases him to the floor and tries some right hands, sending Miz running back into the ring. Miz actually fights back with some left hands, but you know Sheamus is fine with a brawl. He ties Miz up in the ropes for the forearms but Cesaro sneaks in with a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Miz on the floor getting cleaned up and Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock but getting slapped in the face. He gets all fired up but has to get rid of Miz, allowing Cesaro to take him down with a fall away slam. Sheamus comes back with the middle rope shoulder and a double tag brings in Ziggler and Miz.

Dolph cleans house but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb. Ziggler counters that into a sunset flip and hits a running DDT for two. The power guys fall outside again but Miz runs from a Zig Zag attempt. He “tags” Sandow who goes in and takes the Zig Zag, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Dolph at 10:53.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine but I’m digging Miz’s character more and more every week. They’re actually thinking with it and allowing him to use some of the stuff involved to make it even better. Having a makeup girl and stunt double are great ideas and something that a guy like him would have. The pin here wasn’t clean so it takes away some of the sting. Good stuff.

In case you somehow forgot it, here’s the Bellas’ segment from last week.

Now we get a segment called Growing Up Bella with Nikki talking about going to the prom with a guy she had liked for years. She saved up for months to buy the dress but Brie stole her date. Nikki has never told this to anyone so it must be very painful for her.

Rosa Mendes/Cameron/Eva Marie vs. Layla/Summer Rae/Naomi

The fans start a Randy Savage chant as the announcers tell us about 18 times that Total Divas season 3 debuts this Sunday. Layla and Rosa have a slow motion match to start but Cameron makes the save. A brawl breaks out and it’s a double DQ at 1:00.

We look at Rollins and Kane taking out Ambrose but not being able to do the same to Reigns last week.

Mark Henry/Big Show vs. Wyatt Family

They keep pushing the combined weight in this match, even though it’s the same weight as the other two times we’ve seen these teams fight. Henry runs Rowan over to start and sends him hard into the corner. Mark actually gets on the bottom rope to hammer away before splashing Erick in the other corner. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as the slow beating continues. Harper breaks up a Vader Bomb attempt, allowing Rowan to knock him off the middle rope. A big boot gets two for Harper and we take a break.

Back with Henry and Rowan both trying big boots at the same time before it’s back to Harper for some choking. Lana and Rusev come out for a distraction as Henry gets up an elbow in the corner. The lukewarm tag brings in Big Show to clean house but he goes outside and gets tripped into the barricade. Show barely beats the count back in but Harper kicks him down for two.

Rowan does his head vice for a bit before it’s back to Harper for some shots to the face. A superkick gets two and Rowan slams Big Show with ease. Show gets in a shot of his own and makes the tag to Henry. House is cleaned again and everything breaks down. Big Show and Rowan fight to the announcers’ table but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 11:21.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here, especially when you consider we’ve seen this match two times in the last few weeks, not counting the six man from last week. That’s one of WWE’s biggest problems: they keep airing matches over and over again and don’t understand why interest goes down every time.

Big Show clears the ring with a chair.

More Growing Up Bella, this time with Nikki talking about getting her driver’s license and having to drive Brie everywhere in the used car they were given by their grandmother. Then Brie stole the car and Nikki’s license and got in a wreck. Nikki got the blame because it was her license. Again, she’s never told anyone about this.

Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL draft pick, has been given an invitation to Raw next week.

We look back at Lesnar vs. Cena, Lesnar and Heyman’s promo from last week, and Cena going nuts last week.

Here’s Heyman to talk about Cena overreacting since his loss. We get stills from Summerslam with Heyman talking about how Cena has stopped listening to reason. Cena can fight as hard as he wants, but you can take the entire locker room and multiply them by infinity and it won’t be as brutal as Lesnar at Night of Champions.

Jack Swagger vs. Curtis Axel

Colter is back. Swagger runs Axel over to start and WE THE PEOPLE, only to get hit in the ribs. Bo Dallas pops up on the stage with three chairs behind him. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of Swagger’s head as Dallas has two men and a woman from the crowd come sit in the chairs. Curtis dropkicks Swagger to the floor but Jack comes right back with the Patriot Lock for the submission at 2:30.

Post match Dallas introduces the three people who are all crushed by Swagger losing at Summerslam. One of the men is a farmer who bet $1000 on Swagger and then bet double or nothing on the rematch. Now the government is taking his farm. Next up is an immigrant that failed his citizenship test and is being deported back to Italy. Colter looks thrilled at that one. Next up is a woman whose son has been crushed by the loss. After the loss, her son wants to be like Vladimir Putin. All three agree to Bolieve.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

Adam rolls around on the mat to start but Titus picks him up for a hard backbreaker. The bunny hops over to Slater and gets shoved down. Titus isn’t sure what to think but the bunny double legs Slater and beats the carrots out of him. Rose wins with a rollup at 1:51.

More Growing Up Bella. This time it’s about Brie barely graduating high school until Nikki took her exams for her.

The announcers hype up Attitude Week on the WWE Network.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Lana makes fun of Labor Day before we get going. Ryder hammers away but the Rough Ryder is caught in a fall away slam. The jumping superkick sets up the Accolade for the submission at 0:54.

Post match Henry chases Rusev off. Henry says he’s scared of what he’d do if he got his hands on Rusev. Mark has opened an international wing of the Hall of Pain and Rusev is going to be the first inductee.

Stephanie says she can relate to the Growing Up Bella stories and says her door is always open for employees with problems. HHH is amused by this and says Stephanie is always helping people. Apparently they have an announcement for Nikki.

Here’s Stephanie to bring out Nikki for a chat. The fans are already calling this boring. Stephanie says the people know what it’s like to be in the shadow of those greater than them. Nikki has been through so much so Stephanie is making her #1 contender for the Divas Title.

This brings out Brie but Stephanie cuts the music, saying it now belongs to Nikki alone. Brie wants to know if this is what Nikki has wanted all along. Nikki says that it’s about her for once and that she sees right through everything Brie is doing. She can’t wait for Bryan to see it too. Nikki is going to be the next Divas Champions and the Bella that everyone is talking about.

This brings out AJ Lee to try to save this thing. AJ points out that there is only one contender and she never got a rematch. This brings out Paige who says there’s one thing missing from this talk about the Divas Title: the bloody Divas Champion. Nikki has a solution to this whole thing: she’ll forgive Brie if Brie will quit.

Brie looks annoyed so Nikki tells her to go back to the hole she and Bryan share in Washington to have troll babies. She screams at Brie that if she loves Nikki she’ll leave, but Brie pushes Nikki down, right into Paige. Brie leaves and the fans chant YES. AJ picks up the title but Stephanie tells her to hand it over….and AJ does just that.

Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage is made for next week.

Bray wants to know how far a rat will go to outrun a serpent. Inside the cage, Jericho won’t be able to run.

Jimmy Uso vs. Goldust

The Dusts try to apologize for their actions but the Usos will have none of it. Jimmy takes Goldust down to start and hits a quick Samoan drop. The running Umaga attack connects and there’s the superkick but Stardust puts his brother’s foot on the ropes. The injured Jey goes after Stardust but gets kicked in the leg. Jimmy dives on Stardust, allowing Goldust to kick Jimmy in the head. The Final Cut gets the pin on Jimmy at 2:14.

Stardust crushes Jey’s bad leg against the post with a chair.

We look at Ambrose getting hurt again. Cole makes sure to point out that Kane and Rollins planned to have the blocks there. We also see Reigns fighting off both Authority members.

Preview of the new season of Total Divas, focusing on the Bellas of course.

Big Show congratulates Henry on chasing Rusev off but wants him to remember the team. Henry says he won’t, but he has to get Rusev. Show offers to be in his corner but Henry needs to do this by himself.

Chris Jericho/John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton/Seth Rollins

HHH and Stephanie are at ringside. Reigns and Orton get things going with Roman quickly winning a slugout. A big clothesline drops Randy but Reigns pulls Rollins into the ring instead. Seth bails outside and we take a break. Back with Reigns hitting a Samoan drop for two on Orton. Rollins comes in with a shot to Reigns’ head for two and we hit the chinlock. Off to Kane for a chinlock of his own as the fans are getting restless.

Back to Randy who stomps Reigns’ head for two and kicks him down to the mat. Reigns finally gets in a clothesline but the hot tag brings in Jericho to face Rollins. The Lionsault has Rollins in trouble and there are the Walls, only to have Orton make a save. There’s a Superman Punch for Randy but Kane comes in with a chokeslam. Cena AA’s Kane, only to take the springboard knee from Seth. Jericho rolls up Rollins for two but gets kicked in the head. A Codebreaker puts Rollins down and we take a break.

We come back to Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but Rollins sends him into the corner. Rollins hits a running forearm to put the Canadian down and goes up top. Jericho pops up though and dropkicks Seth out of the air in a nice counter. Kane breaks up a hot tag attempt and puts on a chinlock of his own.

Jericho fights to his feet but dives into an uppercut for two. Orton can’t superplex Chris and gets knocked off the top, setting up a high cross body for two. Kane breaks up yet another tag attempt but Jericho nails him with a forearm and makes the real hot tag to Cena (BIG reaction for that). John cleans house and hits an AA on Kane before tagging out to Reigns for the spear and the pin at 22:54.

Rating: C+. This was the standard long match to end a bad show. Cena not getting to come in until the very end was a nice idea and let him explode all at once. Kane taking the fall was pretty clear and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was nothing special though and felt like a house show main event more than anything else.

Cena gets in HHH’s face and AA’s Rollins through the table.

Ads for Michael Sam, Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage and Orton vs. Reigns close the show. Did I mention Monday Night Football is back next week?

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being generous. Ignoring how horrible the Bellas’ story and acting has been, there was WAY too much focus on that one story all night. This show basically had three stories on it: the Bellas, the World Title and Henry vs. Rusev. The rest was almost all window dressing and that makes for a very long three hours. The show is just so uninteresting right now and the Bellas are a huge part of it. Inviting Michael Sam and then showing his picture on a graphic that says NEXT WEEK is there to deceive people rather than entertain them. It makes the company look lost and that’s not good. Horrible show.

Results
Miz/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale to Ziggler
Rosa Mendes/Cameron/Eva Marie vs. Layla/Summer Rae/Naomi went to a double DQ when all six started brawling
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family via DQ when Rusev interfered
Jack Swagger b. Curtis Axel – Patriot Lock
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Goldust b. Jimmy Uso – Final Cut
John Cena/Roman Reigns/Chris Jericho b. Kane/Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Spear to Kane

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 25, 2014

WWE is in an interesting place right now as they’re coming off the great Summerslam show and have Brock Lesnar on top, but the question now is what do they do with him? The Cena rematch is the only option and it’s what we’re getting, but how do you get people to pay for the rematch of a horrible beatdown? Raw is the attempt to start that process. Let’s get to it.

We opened with the Hall of Fame forum and this was a mess. It came off like three old guys just chattering and didn’t really get any point across. Basically only Hogan thinks Cena has a chance in the rematch but they all love him. The best thing that can be said about this is Flair didn’t embarrass himself, which is a rare sight (though he’s been on better behavior as of late).

Cena came out near the end and did his serious voice about how he’s ready for the rematch, though it’s about the norm for him. I’m not sure what they can do for Night of Champions that they didn’t do for Summerslam, but the question of how Cena can make this one closer might be enough to work. I’ll give them this: they’re making me have more sympathy for Cena, which seems to be the goal.

Nitro is coming to the Network. All this does is make me mad that it wasn’t available when I was reviewing the old episodes.

Rusev beat Swagger via referee stoppage in another entertaining match. I like what I’m seeing with Swagger, but someone is going to have to explain the idea behind pushing him by having him lose every match. At least he isn’t tapping anymore. Bo Dallas mocked Swagger after the break to get us to the real point of the thing.

Cesaro beat RVD in a quick match to become #1 contender for the US Title. Why this wasn’t the Summerslam match is beyond me. Cesaro vs. Sheamus should be good. I know this because I’ve seen them fight 384 times.

Paige finally beat Natalya, thereby making the previous losses look worthless. Post match Paige came out and did the semi-lesbian stuff which won’t go anywhere but will spawn a million fanfics.

Kane and Rollins eulogized Dean Ambrose. There wasn’t much to this but it served as a way to get Roman Reigns vs. Rollins started. Reigns broke things up to defend Dean’s honor and got a handicap match as a result, because that’s what the Authority does in WWE.

The Usos lost to the Dusts via countout due to Jimmy banging up his knee. The Dusts turned heel in a post match beatdown on the injured Uso. Those two as heels actually works and will make the promos sound a lot less comical. Also it gives the twins a team to feud with other than the Wyatts, which they’ve been lacking for a good while. How have the Usos been champions for six months? It seems like they just got them.

Lesnar and Heyman did a pretaped promo on Cena. The pretapes are a good idea to keep Lesnar on TV without paying a fortune.

Dolph Ziggler beat Damien Mizdow in a short match. Just story advancement for the next match with Miz.

Now we get to the big segment of the night as the Bellas had a sitdown interview. Brie tried to make up but Nikki (in a skin tight black dress) said every stupid thing she could think of about Brie, ranging from Brie stealing her boyfriends to Brie has an ugly husband to wishing Brie died in the womb. Nikki then shoves Brie down as Brie cried and slapped Jerry Lawler off camera.

The segment, as you can imagine, was cringe worthy. The Bellas can’t act and the things Nikki was saying were more laughable than emotional. Who cares that Brie did something when they were like 15? Stay on the point about Brie abandoning Nikki because there’s an actual story there. Have Brie explain it and then Nikki can be all irrational. In other words, TELL A DECENT STORY. The fans still won’t care, but there would be less to complain about. The blowoff match is going to be horrible.

Roman Reigns beat up Kane and Rollins until Seth brought in the briefcase for the DQ. They tried a Curb Stomp on more cinder blocks but Reigns beat then up again, sending Rollins running scared.

Los Matadores beat Slater and O’Neil. The losers had issues after the match and there’s a slight hint of Slater turning face. Again, I’ve heard worse ideas.

Bo Dallas beat Kofi and then got beaten up by Swagger. More story advancement.

Then we get to the part of the show that got on my nerves worst. Cena basically squashed Bray Wyatt before the Wyatts saved their leader. Then Cena squashed the whole Wyatt Family while Big Show and Mark Henry were in the same general area. Of all the people they have on the roster, Cena had to beat up Bray like that? You can’t put him in there with Harper or Rowan in the first place and have one of them get beaten up that badly? It’s the point of having lackeys: you can keep the big name from taking that big of a beating.

This goes to show you how thin the top of the roster is right now. The heels are all with the Authority and there really isn’t anyone outside of the Wyatts that you can put in this spot. Del Rio would have been perfect, but with him goen, there really was just Bray and company. WWE might have to, gulp, elevate someone before this becomes a bigger problem. Odds are that won’t happen though because WWE.

Raw wasn’t very good on Monday and a lot of that is due to how thin the roster is. With the Authority, Jericho, Ambrose and Orton all gone for the week, the wrestling was a lot thinner than it should have been. They really need some fresh blood at this point and the people are there to elevate if they would ever freaking do it. Unfortunately they seem terrified of that concept and the show gets stale in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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