In Your House #4: And That’s It For Diesel

IMG Credit: WWE

In Your House 4: Great White North
Date: October 22, 1995
Location: Winnipeg Arena, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 10,339
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The main event tonight is Diesel defending the title against British Bulldog in a match that very few people cared to see. So few in fact that this show set a record for the lowest pay per view buyrate in company history which lasted for over ten years. Other than that we have Shawn defending his Intercontinental Title against Dean Douglas, allegedly. Let’s get to it.

We open with a decision made by WWF President Gorilla Monsoon: Shawn Michaels has been stripped of the Intercontinental Title due to a real life attack by anywhere between 2-19 United States Marines (depending on how many Shawn feels like saying there were at the time). Therefore, he has to forfeit the title to Dean Douglas, his challenger for the night, though there will be a title match tonight.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Fatu

The undefeated Helmsley would eventually go just by his initials while Fatu would become Rikishi. At the moment though he’s trying to Make A Difference with wayward kids. To say the gimmick didn’t work very well is an understatement. Helmsley has a bottle of perfume to spray on Fatu but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Fatu takes him into the corner and pounds away, sending Helmsley to the floor before he can get his shirt off.

Back in and Fatu is sent face first into the turnbuckle to no effect whatsoever, so HHH throws him into the ropes with Fatu’s neck getting tied up in the cables. Helmsley pounds away at the tied up Fatu before dropping him with a piledriver. The shirt is finally off about three minutes into the match and Helmsley walks around for awhile. A neckbreaker puts Fatu down for two and a knee drop gets the same.

We hit the chinlock on Fatu, who looks to be nearly dead as a result. Back up and a clothesline turns Fatu inside out for another two count. A Pedigree is countered with a backdrop and Fatu scores with a superkick. Fatu hits a backbreaker to set up a middle rope headbutt for another two count. Lawler is losing his mind watching Helmsley get beaten up like this. A running Diamond Cutter puts Helmsley down again but Fatu misses the top rope splash, allowing Helmsley to hit the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad despite Helmsley still being a glorified rookie. Fatu wasn’t completely huge yet so he could move around the ring far better than he would be able to later in his career. This wasn’t the best choice to open a show with but Fatu was popular enough to keep it from killing the crowd.

Post match Lawler talks to Helmsley when Henry Godwinn comes up with the slop bucket, sending Helmsley running away.

We look at British Bulldog pinning Diesel in a tag match from a recent episode of Raw. The Bulldog says he’s ready to take the title tonight.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Razor Ramon

The Gunns are defending while the challengers aren’t getting along all that well. They swear they’re fine though. The challengers both slick back their hair instead of shaking hands with the Gunns. It’s the Kid starting things off with Billy and is easily shoved down. Since power doesn’t work, the Kid opts for speed with a leap frog and an arm drag but Billy comes back with an armdrag of his own, giving us a stalemate.

Off to Razor to crank on Bart’s shoulder, only to be taken down by a fireman’s carry. Now it’s Bart working on a wristlock but Razor comes back with a big right hand, sending him to the ropes. With the referee and Razor’s backs turned, the Kid pulls the ropes down, sending Bart out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to the Kid legally with a dropkick to take Bart down again. Some running legdrops keep Bart down and it’s back to Razor for some power. There’s the fallaway slam and it’s already back to the Kid for some kicks.

Razor comes in again but Bart scores with a clothesline as Dean Douglas is watching in the back. Apparently Razor will be the one getting an Intercontinental Title shot against the new champion Douglas later tonight. A double tag brings in Billy and the Kid with Billy cleaning house and getting two off an elbow drop. Back to Bart for some backbreakers but Razor comes in to break up the pin.

The Gunns hit a nice dropkick/suplex combo for two but the Kid avoids a Stinger Splash in the corner. The referee goes over to check on Razor so Bart pulls Billy on top of the kid for two. He gets caught, so Razor comes in and puts Kid on top of Billy for two. Now it’s a hot tag off to Ramon who cleans house with right hands and the Razor’s Edge to Billy, but the Kid asks for the tag. The Kid takes forever to cover and gets cradled for the pin out of nowhere to keep the belts on the cowboys.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but the match was mainly about the angle at the end. Kid just wasn’t working as a good guy for the most part so the turn and feud with Razor was the logical ending. The Gunns weren’t great champions but they were the best that the company had at this point. Not a bad match here though.

Post match the Kid snaps and kicks the Gunns down, only to be calmed down by Razor.

Marty Jannetty vs. Goldust

Goldust is a rather interesting character who was obsessed with movies and was pushed as being gay at first until the character got a bit too risque for 1995 and that aspect was toned WAY down. This is his debut as well as Jannetty’s return to the company after a lengthy run in the indys. Golden glitter falls from the ceiling as Goldust gets in the ring for a cool visual. Marty jumps him in the corner and clotheslines Goldust out to the floor where another clothesline puts him down again.

Back in and Goldust stares at Marty for about 45 seconds before getting two off an O’Connor Roll. An uppercut staggers Jannetty and a second one puts him right back down again. Jannetty comes back with a hurricanrana and it’s time to shove each other a bit more. Goldust takes his head off with a clothesline and drops an elbow for two. We hit the chinlock as the match stops almost dead. Goldust backdrops him down and pounds away before sending Marty into the steps on the outside.

Marty comes back by flipping Goldust back to the floor and sending him into the steps for some nice retaliation. Goldust will have none of this being in trouble though and sends Marty into the post to put him right back down. A suplex brings Jannetty back in and we hit another chinlock. Marty fights up but misses a cross body in the corner, allowing Goldust to DDT him down for two. Jannetty scores with the Rocker Dropper (modified Fameasser) but his top rope fist hits a top rope boot. A gordbuster (front suplex) is enough to pin Jannetty.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long, running over eleven minutes instead of the five or so that it needed. The interesting thing though is how dull the match was. This is interesting because in just a few months, Goldust would be years better and challenging for the world title. The lesson: you can’t judge a wrestler by his debut match. You have to recognize the talent and work around them instead of bending them to your system.

We recap Yokozuna and King Mabel crushing Undertaker’s face on Raw recently. As a result, Mabel and Yokozuna have a match tonight as punishment. I’m not sure I get that logic.

King Mabel vs. Yokozuna

They stare each other down to start before Yokozuna wins an early slugout, knocking Mabel out to the floor. Back in and they very slowly look at each other before Mabel slowly pounds him down and out to the floor. Back in again as JR uses his special code to apologize for how boring this match is. Yokozuna slugs Mabel down again but misses a legdrop. Mabel misses an elbow before trying a bulldog. I say trying because he grabbed Yokozuna’s head and runs, but Yokozuna doesn’t go down…..for a few seconds until he falls out of the ring. Mr. Fuji shoves down Cornette and Yokozuna splashes him, resulting in a double countout.

Rating: F. I think this is one of those matches that doesn’t need a lengthy explanation. Fat guys wrestling in short matches is a staple of wrestling, especially in the WWF so it’s not like this is unheard of. The match of course was junk with about a minute and a half of “action” spread across five minutes of ring time.

Post match the fat guys get in the ring and stare each other down before raising each others’ hands.

Here’s Dean Douglas to be awarded the Intercontinental Title from the concussed Shawn. Shawn is very depressed of course so Douglas snatches the title away from him and puts it on. There’s no announcement made here or anything so I guess the live fans are left figuring this out on their own. Shawn walks away and does the long look back before walking away. There is a title match tonight though.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Douglas vs. Razor Ramon

Razor charges to the ring and pounds away before being dropped by a right hand to the jaw. The champion bails to the floor before coming back in for some shoulders from Ramon. Razor cranks on the arm even more and we hit the armbar. Dean is sent to the mat by the arm and Razor slaps him in the back of the head to rub it in a bit. Back up and Razor stays on that arm and hangs on even through an armdrag.

Dean FINALLY sends him into the corner to escape and pounds away, only to be caught in the fallaway slam. A clothesline puts Dean on the floor as this is one sided so far. Razor snaps the champion’s throat across the ropes but Dean pokes him in the eye to get a breather. That’s all it’s good for though as Ramon punches him off the apron and out to the floor. Razor suplexes him back inside before whipping him right back to the floor. Ramon pours water over Dean’s head and we head back inside for more work on the arm.

The Razor’s Edge is countered with a backdrop over the top rope to give Douglas his first bit of control. Again it doesn’t last long whatsoever though as Dean goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. Douglas breaks up a belly to back superplex but his cross body is rolled through into a near fall for Ramon. Back up and Razor grabs a quick belly to back suplex and awkwardly covers Dean for the pin and the title, despite Dean putting his leg under the ropes.

Rating: D. This was a squash that happened to last eleven minutes. Dean got in almost no offense with his one big move being a counter to Razor’s finishing move. This was the last you would see of Dean as anything of note in the WWF and he would be back to much friendlier pastures in ECW by the beginning of the year. Douglas’ title reign lasted no more than fifteen minutes at most, easily the shortest reign on record. This was also Razor’s fourth Intercontinental Title, a record that would stand for nearly four years.

Bret Hart comes out for commentary on the main event since he gets the winner for the title at Survivor Series. Lawler runs away in fear.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. British Bulldog

Diesel, the champion, has no comment on the way to the ring. They shove each other around to start before Diesel puts him down with a forearm to the head. A cross body is easily caught in a slam from Diesel, sending Bulldog out to the floor. Back in and the Bulldog goes after the leg, only to be sent into the corner for a clothesline. More elbows in the corner have Smith in trouble but he comes back with right hands of his own.

A dropkick puts the champion on the floor but he lands on his feet. Diesel gets in a shouting match with Bret, allowing Bulldog to take out Diesel’s legs to take over. Back in and Smith works over the leg as the match slows down a lot. Bulldog can’t hook something like a Texas Cloverleaf but he sends Diesel out to the floor anyway, allowing Cornette to get in a cheap shot to the leg.

Bulldog sends Diesel into the steps and gets admonished, allowing Cornette to get in some tennis racket shots to Diesel’s bad leg. Bulldog puts on a half crab and then a full Boston crab to stay on the leg. Diesel powers out but gets caught in a second half crab. A legdrop gets two for the challenger and it’s back to another leg lock. Diesel finally fights up and scores with some more forearms, only to have Bulldog go right back to the knee. Bulldog loads up a cannonball down onto the knee, only to have Diesel kick him out to the floor.

Back in and Smith goes right back to the leg lock to make sure nothing gets interesting in this match at all. Diesel scores with a quick suplex and its belly to back cousin gets him a breather. Smith is up first and, after a point to Bret, puts on a sloppy looking Sharpshooter. Davey can’t slam him though (after being able to slam the much larger Bam Bam Bigelow last month), allowing Diesel to hit a big boot to the face. Cornette is dragged into the ring and thrown at the Bulldog, sending Davey out to the floor. Diesel is sent face first into the post but Bulldog shoves Bret, drawing him in for a very lame disqualification.

Rating: D-. This was terribly boring with the leg work going nowhere at all. The ending didn’t do the match any favors either with the match taking forever to be set up and then having nothing for a finish. No one was interested in this match beforehand and it was clearly just a setup for Bret vs. Diesel next month.

Post match Diesel gets in Bret’s face and they slug it out to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This is one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. The best matches are the first two and neither of those are anything past watchable at best. As mentioned earlier, no one seemed interested in seeing this show and it drew the lowest number of PPV buys for well over ten years. Just a horrible show and proof that a change was needed.

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1994 (2012 Redo): What Once Was Old Is Old Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon

Things weren’t all that great for the WWF at this time but Bret was doing well enough as the top man. However, they still needed someone new to come along and supplement him. That name would come soon, but for now it’s still Bret defending the championship against a guy who wasn’t very interesting in the eyes of a lot of younger fans. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today of the team captains giving their teams pep talks.

Gorilla and Vince are dressed as cowboys. Gorilla looks like he could almost pull the look off but Vince looks like a schnook.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Teamsters: Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett

Bad Guys: Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Headshrinkers

Diesel and Shawn are Tag Team Champions but they’ve having issues. Owen and Neidhart are a semi-regular tag team. This version of the Headshrinkers is Fatu and Sione, more famous as the Barbarian. Razor is Intercontinental Champion as is his custom. Shawn keeps slipping in front of Diesel to steal the spotlight. That’ll become important later.

It takes a while to decide who starts before we get Kid vs. Owen. This should be good. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Neidhart which won’t be as interesting. Neidhart hits a shoulder block to start but gets dropkicked down. Another shoulder gives Neidhart control though and it’s off to Jarrett. Things speed up a bit and Jarrett loses the advantage Neidhart got him.

Off to Sione, who is someone I’ve talked about before but I’ll do it again here. This guy continuously had work for nearly fifteen years, which is impressive when you consider how basic the main character he played was. The guy was always around though other than in the dying days of WCW. Anyway here he gets dropkicked in the back but powers out of the cover with ease.

Off to Owen who wants the Bulldog. Davey comes in to a big ovation and they trade insane counters to wristlocks. Owen gets catapulted into the good guy corner, which is actually the Bad Guy corner, but the Bad Guys are the good guys in the match if that makes sense. Bulldog gets kicked in the face by Hart and it’s off to Neidhart for a double clothesline. Then Bulldog hits a double clothesline on Hart and Jim, followed by the delayed vertical on Neidhart.

Fatu hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. Instead he tries to take his own boot off because he’s used to wrestling barefoot. Jarrett comes in and is immediately powerslammed before it’s off to Razor. Jeff immediately bails and it’s Razor vs….Jarrett still. Double J takes Razor to the mat and MESSES WITH HIS HAIR! Oh he’s so EVIL! A big right hand by Razor staggers Jeff and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This is a very hot crowd so far.

Back in and Jarrett escapes an atomic drop and punches Razor in the face to get himself in even more trouble. Off to the Kid who Razor gives a fall away slam to send him straight into Jeff in a cool move. Jeff hooks an abdominal stretch with some cheating from Shawn. That eventually gets caught and the Kid hooks a stretch of his own which doesn’t last long. Off to Fatu vs. Owen but all of the Canadian offense results in Samoan dancing.

A blind tag is made to Diesel and it’s a clothesline and a Jackknife to take out Fatu. Kid runs in and hits a dropkick but a top rope sunset flip is easily countered into a chokebomb. Jackknife finishes Kid a second later. Here’s Sione to pound away but he can only stagger the big man. ANOTHER Jackknife makes it 5-2. Diesel put out three guys in 70 seconds. Bulldog comes in and pounds away but a big boot puts Smith on the floor where he brawls with Owen to a countout.

So it’s Ramon vs. all five guys and he starts with Diesel. A discus punch puts Diesel down as does a middle rope bulldog. Diesel gets a clothesline in to take Razor down and Shawn screams for a Jackknife. The future Outsiders slug it out but Diesel drops him on the buckle in a snake eyes. Ramon comes back with a slam and calls for the Edge but Diesel easily backdrops him down. A big boot puts Razor down and there’s the Jackknife.

NOW Shawn wants in but he asks Diesel to hold Razor. Those of you paying attention should know what’s coming, and there it is as Shawn superkicks Diesel by mistake. This has happened a few times before and Diesel is MAD. Diesel destroys the rest of his team and stalks Shawn up the aisle. Ramon is the only one left in the ring and somehow the countout eliminates EVERYONE on the Teamsters to make Razor the sole survivor.

Rating: C. This was all angle and not much wrestling. This was the big face turn for Diesel which would result in the World Title very soon after this. It was a face turn that made sense too as he was tired of Shawn telling him what to do and getting hurt as a result, so he gave up and went after Shawn. Ticked off giants are very fun, so the first few months of Diesel Power were fun stuff. It was the other eight or nine months that stopped being fun.

Shawn leaves in the back and says Diesel is nothing without him. Diesel is on his way to Shawn’s car. Shawn speeds away, which would actually dissolve the team and vacate the Tag Team Titles in the process.

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Royal Family: Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy

Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

We’ve got midgets. Great. In case you can’t tell, they’re three small Lawlers and three small clowns. Lawler tells the fans to NOT chant Burger King at him, because he’s a master at baiting a crowd you know. The big guys start and guess what the fans are chanting. Here’s the first ten minutes of the match: Lawler and Doink do something, Jerry takes over, the small clowns interfere and Lawler gets mad and loses the advantage.

Lawler tries an enziguri but Doink ducks to send Jerry hiding in his corner. Jerry yells at his partners and the Clowns are all laying on the ropes. Jerry gets Doink down and has the small Lawlers run over him. They make faces at the clowns then run back over Doink and crash in a pile. Keep I mind that these other kings have facial and chest hair. Jerry yells at them again and it’s back to the big guys fighting some more.

The small clowns all come in and cover Jerry with Doink counting. Lawler is all ticked off so they do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE with Jerry counting Doink’s shoulders. Jerry can’t catch Cheesy when Doink kicks him off so Cheesy gets a two count on Lawler with Dink counting. Doink puts a Burger King crown on Lawler to make him even madder. Dink gets on Doink’s shoulders and (this isn’t a typo) Jerry gets on Sleazy’s shoulders which goes as well as you would expect it to.

The big guys have a test of strength and it turns into a big crisscross between the little guys. Lawler gets a non-existent foreign object to take over but it’s time for a chase scene! Jerry reverses a cross body and rolls up Doink with a handful of tights to eliminate the big guy. Lawler isn’t allowed to be in the ring with one of the smaller guys so the match is in essence over already.

It’s Queasy vs. Dink to start the second half of the match and Dink gets his arm bitten. Queasy gets his tights bitten as does Lawler. Now it’s Cheesy vs. Wink with Wink pulling on the beard. Lawler blocks a monkey flip and Cheesy pins Wink off a rollup. A minute later, Lawler drops Cheesy on Pink from six feet in the air for the pin and it’s Dink vs. all four of them. Pink hides under the ring instead of leaving as Dink beats up all three little guys. A top rope cross body looks to pin Cheesy but Lawler makes the save. Sleazy gets the easy pin to win it.

Rating: S. As in stupider, which I now am having watched this. Last year’s show at least had full sized people in there having these matches and it only ran ten minutes. This ran SIXTEEN MINUTES and wasted Jerry freaking Lawler on it. I’ll take ANYTHING after this and like it more than this.

Jerry says he won the match and not the other ones. They celebrate anyway and Lawler keeps yelling, so they turn on him and the clowns join in for a six on one beatdown. The big payoff is Doink hitting Lawler with a pie. This ran nearly TWENTY MINUTES out of a two hour and forty minute show.

We get clips of Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano in Tokyo with Nakano winning the Women’s Title in front of 45,000 people. I’ve never seen it but I’ve heard that match was awesome. Nakano comes in and speaks some Japanese. Todd (Petingill, this generation’s Josh Matthews/Matt Striker) does the stupid thing where he speaks loudly because all foreigners are apparently deaf.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.

Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the Intercontinental Title in 1992 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.

Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chickenwing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.

Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for a while also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.

Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the chickenwing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are still WAY behind Bret here which is a good sign.

Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.

The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full chickenwing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.

Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying, which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.

Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face as he pulls on the arm is great.

Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.

Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this. The whole thing is an intricate story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.

One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.

Backlund’s face as he’s awarded the title is amazing as he looks somewhat demented which pointing at himself. This is one of those moments where you look at the card on paper and say “well of course Bret retains. There’s no way they would make Backlund champion.” And then they DID and it was a legit shock. Backlund looks maniacal and the image of a plain guy in blue trunks being champion is kind of awesome as he’s all dangerous while looking nuts.

Owen celebrates in the back and cuts a great evil promo talking about how he’s the real king now and Bret is a nobody. This was the culmination of an incredible feud that ran for about a year.

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory

Million Dollar Team: Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies

Guts and Glory: Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns

This is DiBiase’s team (DiBiase had hurt his neck and had to retire) vs. Luger in a continuation of a long feud. DiBiase had said that Luger had sold out and Tatanka, Luger’s friend, believed DiBiase. This led to a match at Summerslam where it turned out that TATANKA had been bought off in a swerve I liked a lot. This is Luger’s chance for revenge again. The Gunns are a pair of cowboys named Billy and Bart.

Luger and Tatanka start things off, much to Tatanka’s surprise. Tatanka takes over to start and chops away but the ones to the chest don’t work on Luger. Lex no sells a suplex and pounds away with all his usual stuff. A clothesline puts Tatanka on the floor so here’s Del Ray to get beaten up too. Mabel and Bundy come in but it’s just a staredown as it’s back to the starters. Now it’s officially Mabel vs. Prichard with the big man missing an elbow. Prichard pounds away but a middle rope cross body to the 500lb Mable goes badly with the splash crushing Prichard for the pin.

It’s 5-4 now and Del Ray comes in for some dropkicks and no effect. A Boss Man Slam takes Jimmy down so it’s off to Bundy vs. Mabel. They collide a few times until Mabel runs him over. Off to Bigelow who gets beaten down and Mabel goes up, only to get slammed down in a cool visual. Bigelow goes up for a sunset flip but Mabel sits on his chest for no cover. A Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor and Mabel can’t beat the count back in to tie things up.

Off to Billy Gunn vs. Del Ray which goes nowhere so here’s Bomb vs. Bigelow. This takes about 30 seconds with Bomb hitting a slingshot clothesline but getting hit in the head by Bundy. A moonsault from Bigelow takes Bomb out and it’s 4-3. Luger comes in immediately and tries a rollup but it just gets two. Off to Del Ray who hits a fast superkick to take Lex down. After some right hands from Jimmy, a running forearm smash catches him in the head and Luger ties it up.

It’s Tatanka/Bigelow/Bundy vs. Luger/Smoking Gunns. We start with Bart vs. Tatanka before Billy comes in for a double Russian legsweep for two. The Gunns pound away on Tatanka for a little while with Bart and his mullet of death hitting a monkey flip for two. The Sidewinder (side slam from Bart with a legdrop from Billy) gets two and it’s back to Bart who apparently doesn’t think well on his feet, as he tries a crucifix on a guy whose finisher is a Samoan drop. Later Bart and it’s 3-2.

Billy vs. Tatanka goes nowhere so it’s back to Luger. Billy comes in and hip tosses Tatanka for two and an elbow drop gets the same. Luger and Gunn take turns on Tatanka’s arm until Billy gets caught in a powerslam. Off to Bundy who hits a splash and elbow to get us down to Luger vs. Bigelow, Bundy and Tatanka. It’s Luger vs. King Kong now but Lex goes after Tatanka because he’s not that bright at times.

Luger gets caught in the evil corner and we play the numbers game for awhile. Luger hits a forearm to Tatanka but only gets two. A sunset flip almost gets a pin on Tatanka but a tag was made on the way down to bring in Bigelow. Bundy drops an elbow for two and Lex is in trouble. Bigelow drops a headbutt for a VERY fast two. DiBiase talks trash as it’s off to Bundy for more fat man offense.

Bundy drops an elbow for two as we’re reenacting the main event of the first Survivor Series, complete with two of the original people in it. Back to Tatanka who gets two off a powerslam and drops a bunch of elbows. In a stupid looking yet still good ending, Luger gets a fast small package for the pin on Tatanka, then lays down on the mat so Bundy can splash him for the final elimination. That looked stupid.

Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad actually and the ending was a nice surprise. There was no reason to have Luger make the superhero comeback here and having him lose was the right move. The feud didn’t really go anywhere after this and was more or less the ending of it. Luger’s collapse after Summerslam 1993 is a sight to see given how hot he was during the summer after his face turn.

A group beatdown on Lex follows the match. The Gunns and Bomb make the save.

Backlund has a press conference and says he’s going to homogenize and synchronize the fans. It’s time for Sports Education and he’s been champion for sixteen years now. I love this character, which is a shame because he would lose the title to Diesel less than a week later in eight seconds.

Here’s Chuck Norris to be guest referee for the main event.

Quick recap before we get to casket match. This is a rematch of a casket match at the Royal Rumble (don’t get me started on that mess) where about ten guys came out to help Yokozuna beat Undertaker. Norris is here to stop interference.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match where you have to throw your opponent in the casket and close it to win. Druids bring out the casket of course. Yoko is so fat here it’s unreal. Undertaker does the throat slit from across the ring and Yokozuna falls down. A splash in the corner is no sold by Undertaker but the fat man stops before he gets thrown to the casket. Yokozuna winds up on top of the casket to further freak him out.

They fight to the floor with Undertaker in control. Back inside Old School staggers Yokozuna but he catches Undertaker in a Samoan Drop. Undertaker doesn’t sell it but the move did hit. A headbutt puts Undertaker down but he won’t go in the casket. Back in and Undertaker misses an elbow but sits up anyway. A Rock Bottom puts Undertaker down and Yokozuna drops a leg while he’s sitting up to keep the Dead Man down.

Undertaker gets put in the casket but he blocks it from being closed. They both wind up in the box and slug it out but Mr. Fuji pulls Undertaker’s hair to break things up. Cornette (Yokozuna’s other manager) gets drilled as well and we head back inside. Yokozuna sends him back to the floor and rams Undertaker into the steps (from inside the ring, which is kind of impressive). Back inside and they slug it out with Undertaker slamming the fat man’s head into the mat.

Undertaker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Yokozuna down. As he’s rolling the bigger man over, here’s King Kong Bundy to glare at Norris. Bigelow comes out as well but nothing comes of it. Nothing comes of it on their end at least as IRS comes in and beats up Undertaker, which would also set up the Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation feud for 1995. Undertaker gets put in the casket but by the time Yoko gets there he can’t close the lid. Jeff Jarrett comes out to challenge Norris and gets kicked in the chest. Undertaker hits a DDT and a big boot to send Yokozuna into the casket for the win.

Rating: D. This was really dull stuff and the ending was never in doubt. Yokozuna was worthless at this point as he was too fat to move. This was the last we would see of him until Wrestlemania where he came back EVEN BIGGER. Norris didn’t really add much here but the fans liked him and that’s all that really matters. Thankfully this feud ended here.

Overall Rating: C-. This isn’t a terrible show but there are some bad parts to it. The interesting thing is that in a lot of parts, this is a sequel of last year’s show. Last year we heard rumblings of Shawn being the REAL Intercontinental Champion and he was facing Razor here, Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is a direct continuation, and Bret vs. Owen started at the 93 show and it’s almost over here (they would interact at the Rumble and have one big blowoff match after that). Anyway, this isn’t bad but a lot of people would be bored by the title match, which is understandable. Not a great show but it’s watchable, except for the clowns.

Ratings Comparison

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Original: C-

Redo: C

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Original: G (as in below an F)

Redo: S

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: A

Redo: A

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts and Glory

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C-

That’s probably as close as any of these second looks are going to go.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-mr-bob-backlund-and-chuck-norris/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1991 (2012 Redo): This Still Gets On My Nerves

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This show marks a change of pace from the Survivor Series formula and it was for the better. The fans saw little to no reason to buy a pay per view with nothing on the line, so giving them a traditional main event to look forward to. The rest of the show follows the normal formula though, and thankfully there are no eggs here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice as mentioned above. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20. It felt like a total ripoff because that’s exactly what it was.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy. Savage falls off the stretcher and Vince is freaking out on commentary. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from WWF President Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

It’s also back to the simple team names this year. Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company and not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the Intercontinental Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is censored but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (for clarification, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is Intercontinental Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper, which is a pretty awesome match by itself. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes Ted right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor for a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor like a cowardly heel should. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too so well done on keeping order.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone. You know, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair whips him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The Warlord’s full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3-3. It’s Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil in what is likely the best possible option. Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out in what is presented as a bigger deal than it should be. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! I think he might be wrong here.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

Skinner is an alligator wrestler from the Everglades and Berzerker is a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword. A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July, as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik). The rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company.

Kerry looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa due to their recent split.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado, which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which took place in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots and does nothing with them. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to Slaughter’s fat gut. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor, only to have Berzerker come back in for a backdrop back out to the floor. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again.

Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination. Skinner comes in as it’s 4-2. I don’t see this going well for Mustafa’s team. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match was awful, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an Intercontinental Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Jake saying “trust me” in that evil voice of his was amazing. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Undertaker. Flair confronted Hogan in the Funeral Parlor (Undertaker’s interview segment) and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Undertaker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Undertaker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Undertaker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Undertaker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito Santana beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Undertaker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Undertaker reaches to the urn. Back in and Undertaker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of his video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Undertaker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place cheers loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put him down. A slam doesn’t work, nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines UNdertaker to the floor where the Dead Man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Undertaker chokes away some more and Bearer does the same. Undertaker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Undertaker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minutes. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s quite the stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to haveUndertaker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Undertaker and knocks him down to one knee which is a very rare sight.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring in his spiffy black and white robs. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Undertaker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Undertaker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new champion and a decisive face pop for the Dead Man. Undertaker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a gas station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Undertaker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes a while to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair andUndertaker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes. Seriously, there’s nothing other than a graphic and a countdown clock.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the Legion of Doom and Boss Man. That’s the main event. They’re not even hiding the ripping off of the fans anymore.

Legion of Doom and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Undertaker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, driving the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs (Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys along with Jerry Sags) get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Undertaker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. Luke and Butch take over on the Nasty Boys with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as Knobbs and Sags with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasty Boys and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau Beverly (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Some annoying fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike and have been together for years now.

A superkick puts Blake down but he comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and hurricanranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn, who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move later used by the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasty Boys head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nastys. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nastys head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing.

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the Tag Team Champions and IRS (Irwin R. Schyster, a tax auditor) and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax man getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which wakes the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Earthquake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Earthquake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Earthquake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. A not very hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Back in and Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Undertaker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 2, 1995: It’s A Sad New Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 2, 1995
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Shawn Michaels

We’re picking things up not too far removed from the last set. This time around we’re getting ready for the Royal Rumble and that means things should start to get interesting. There aren’t a lot of fresh challengers for Diesel’s WWF Title at the moment so getting someone new out of the Rumble is a good idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Jeff Jarrett is ready to sing tonight. I’m sure.

Opening sequence.

It’s so weird to hear Monsoon doing commentary. He says that Vince is under the weather….but Vince did commentary on the first two shows of this taping cycle. Huh?

Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka vs. Lex Luger/British Bulldog

Bulldog is late getting to the ring so Luger is in early trouble. Bigelow beats him down to start but a running shot to the face staggers Bigelow right back. A middle rope clothesline gives Luger two on Bigelow and the armbar goes on. DiBiase’s distraction lets Tatanka get in a knee to the back as Shawn asks how Luger would wrestle without a clothesline.

The chops to the head have Luger in more trouble and Tatanka drops some elbows for two. Back from a break with Tatanka hitting the top rope chop to the head and slapping on the bearhug. Monsoon isn’t sure why someone of Tatanka’s size is putting a bearhug on and given how fast it’s broken up, he might be onto something.

Tatanka is right back with a belly to back suplex and Bigelow comes in for a headbutt to keep Luger down. Luger comes right back up with a powerslam and it’s off to the Bulldog for the house cleaning. The real running powerslam drops Tatanka but Bigelow makes the save. Everyone heads outside and it’s a double countout for a pretty lame ending.

Rating: D. Well that was pitiful. This was a bunch of slow action until the ending which doesn’t help anyone. I can understand the idea of not wanting either team to job but they couldn’t have DiBiase hold a foot or something? It wasn’t any good and there wasn’t much that could be done given the way this was being set up.

Royal Rumble Report, with Todd Pettengill criticizing the double countout. We get a quick rundown on the card before breaking news: the tag match WILL CONTINUE later tonight. Well that just makes my day. The rest of the card gets some attention, including IRS busting out his own druids to counter Undertaker. We get a list of Rumble participants, which…..leaves something to be desired shall we say.

Roadie is getting ready for Jeff Jarrett’s singing debut tonight. This has been teased for months now and I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Duke Droese vs. Mike Bell

Bell’s chop just makes Droese mad and it’s a backdrop into a chinlock. A powerslam sets up the Trash Compactor (tilt-a-whirl powerslam) for the fast pin. Droese is someone who has grown on me a bit over the years.

Video on Kama Mustafa. This was before we knew what mixed martial arts were so it’s not the easiest thing to accept.

We look at the Tag Team Title tournament.

Here’s Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court with Owen Hart as the guest. After they practice the kingly wave, Lawler praises him for his acting job at Survivor Series. Lawler gets in his classic jokes about Stu and Helen Hart, leaving Owen to recap his master plan. I mean, he didn’t win the title himself but he did cost Bret the title and that’s what matters most.

Owen has the very towel that Helen threw in to cost him the title and is far too proud of the thing. That brings him to the new year, when he’s going to win every title there is to win in the WWF. He just won’t lose it like Bret did. Gorilla: “That’s the scoop?” Owen enters the Royal Rumble, which is the real announcement. He certainly took his time getting there.

Next week: Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart for the Intercontinental Title and Howard Finkel vs. Harvey Wippleman in a tuxedo match. Egads do I have to?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Buck Quartermaine

Gorilla doesn’t want to hear about how great Jarrett is. Jeff takes him down to start and walks over Buck’s back before snapping him throat first across the top. A top rope clothesline connects as Shawn makes fun of Quartermaine’s name. The running crotch attack to the back sets up the strut into a belly to back suplex. Gorilla is getting frustrated, telling Jeff to get in, sing his song and get out. A superplex sets up the Figure Four for the fast tap. Total squash.

Post break it’s time for the song but the microphone levels and lighting are all messed up so that’s not happening. Gorilla: “Where’s Kevin Dunn when you need him?” Jarrett throws in the towel and there’s no song tonight.

We see a clip of Super Dave Osborne’s (comedian who plays a horrible stuntman) new show.

Lex Luger/British Bulldog vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

We’re joined in progress on the restart with Bigelow beating on Luger. Tatanka comes in for some chops and a clothesline before it’s back to Bigelow for the headbutts. We take a break and come back (Gorilla: “After a short short.”) with Shawn saying it feels like this match has been going all night. Tatanka clotheslines Bigelow by mistake and it’s off to the Bulldog to clean house. Another clothesline puts Bigelow on the floor and Bulldog whips Tatanka into Bigelow for the pin (after Tatanka not being ready for a rollup).

Rating: D-. I would love to know the thought process here. Was there any reason to have this match go on again after how boring the first part was earlier on? Now we get to watch the second version, which was shorter, less interesting and had a break in the middle despite not being that long. Another bad stuff, as Luger continues to count down the days of his contract.

Overall Rating: F. I always forget how bad some of these shows can be. Some of them are just not any good with one bad idea after another and this was right up there on the list. Shawn wasn’t even that funny on commentary aside from a few good one liners in there as he and Monsoon didn’t have the chemistry of Shawn and Vince. Awful show that couldn’t finish fast enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1996 (2013 Redo): When Shawn Stops And Yells

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.

The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.

Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.

Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.

Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.

Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.

Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog

Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.

Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.

The managers keep arguing post match.

Video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.

Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.

A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.

Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Bob Backlund campaigns for President.

Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.

Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.

Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.

The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.

With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.

A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.

Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.

Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???

WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.

Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.

Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.

A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.

Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.

The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.

Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.

Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+

Redo: C

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-

Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D+

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+

Redo: D

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-

Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C

Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/30/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1996-mick-foley-has-arrived/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1996 (Original): So Much For A Partnership

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Well it’s certainly a new era in the WWF. For one thing, Shawn is the undisputed biggest star in the company right now. Bret is on hiatus, and a loud mouthed guy from Texas is flipping people off and cursing a lot. It’s like there’s a growing Attitude or something going on. Eh nothing will ever come of that. I remember this show really well but actually have never seen the main event all the way through.

When I was watching the show live I taped it and for some reason never watched the main event. I guess the tape messed up or something like that, but I’ve never seen all of it so this will be virgin territory for me. This is the night of the first Boiler Room Brawl which is by far and away the most famous match on the show. I have fond memories of this show, so let’s see if they’re justified.

Dark Match: Yokozuna vs. Steve Austin

Austin won the KOTR earlier this year and with his post match promo, instantly became one of the hottest things on the planet. Yoko weight 660 here and would be gone pretty soon. It really is sad to see someone that had undeniable talent reduced to this, simply based on the fact that he couldn’t control his weight. This is a very short match, maybe three minutes or so.

Austin tries to knock him down and can’t, Yoko takes over and goes to the corner, and then in one of the most infamous botches ever, the ring ropes break and Austin just pins him. I’ve never heard anyone say that was planned and based off the announcers’ reactions, it wasn’t planned. Yoko was clearly surprised when that happened, so I’d guess that was all unplanned. Like I said, Austin just kind of rolled him up for the pin afterwards.

Rating: C. This is very hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. N/A would probably be a much better grade actually. It’s way too short to tell if it’s good or bad, but it wasn’t terrible and it was on free TV, so how can I complain about bonus not awful wrestling?

We get a very well done intro talking about monsters that wear masks and the heroes that fight them. That’s a really cool idea as both heels wear masks which is a nice connection to make. This was one of the better packages I’ve seen in a long time.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

No real point to this match other than to have a fast opener which there’s nothing wrong with. Apparently both are good with martial arts. I think I missed that memo. Owen has a cast on his hand from an injury that I don’t remember happening. He’s doing the Orton thing as he’s been hurt forever apparently. Cornette isn’t there as he’s with Vader for the main event instead. Savio keeps going for the arm which is very basic yet quite intelligent strategy.

Ross wants to know how Owen passed a pre match physical. Are we supposed to believe that when matches are made on the fly that everyone has pre match physicals? Come on JR give us more credit than that. We go split screen to see Vader warming up for the main event as Vince says that Owen should feel slighted by being ignored by his manager. Why is it that every time someone throws a kick they’re instantly a martial artist?

Anyone else find that to be WAY too broad of a generalization? I certainly do for one. Savio doesn’t seem like much of a martial artist to me and neither does Owen, not in the slightest really. Vince continues to stir the pot saying that Stu isn’t as proud of Owen as of Bret. With talk like that, it’s no wonder he was almost a career heel. Owen has an armbar on Vega for a decent while and he bites Owen to escape. That’s either cool or just freaking stupid and I’m not sure which it is actually.

Clarence Mason, who is the lawyer for Cornette, starts walking towards ringside but no one is sure why. It turns out that he’s more or less staging a coup of Camp Cornette, but that was a bit off in the future. He was worthless to say the least. I’m pleasantly surprised with this match. It’s not mind blowing but it’s certainly not bad at all. I’d even go so far as to say it’s good.

A long match with faster guys is usually an excellent combination. It has one of the critical points that I think makes matches great: I’m not sure who is going to win. That uncertainly factor can work wonders for matches as it gives you a reason to want to see the ending. That’s what makes a match successful or any entertainment for that matter: you want to keep watching it because you’re not sure what’s coming.

They do a belly to back off the top but Savio’s head slams against the cast. Owen plays possum and slams the cast into Vega’s head before putting the Sharpshooter on him. Clarence comes in to celebrate but Owen isn’t sure why he’s there. Not a fan of the ending but this was a good match. On the replay you can see that the referee would have obviously seen the cast shot.

Rating: B+. Like I said I’m not a fan of the ending, but this was a very solid match in my eyes. It was up tempo, there was some storytelling in there, and I wasn’t positive who was going to win. It was a good way to set the tempo for the show and it’s given me high hopes. Based on this match alone, this show is better than last year’s.

Bradshaw comes out and beats up Savio with whom he was feuding with at the tiem in a decent but completely forgotten feud.

Todd goes into the boiler room to talk to Mankind, who says Taker shouldn’t come in here and that he’s ready for battle.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. New Rockers vs. Godwins vs. Bodydonnas

Again I ask, is it really that hard to get the tag titles on the show? New Rockers are Al Snow and Marty Jannetty, but Snow is known as Leif Cassidy at the time. This has elimination rules which automatically makes it better as it more or less gives you three matches for the price of one. Skip has a neck brace for no apparent reason. Dang the copyright for getting rid of Don’t Go Messin With A Country Boy. JR is given the task of explaining the tag title scene this year. Good luck good sir. You’ll be needing it.

Sunny as a cowgirl is incredibly attractive to say the least. Billy shouts about something unintelligible. She should have been one of the biggest names ever. Not just because of her looks either as she just had a great presence about her. You could see she just knew what to do in front of a camera. That’s a talent that no amount of looks can buy you. Yep, the champions are heels here, I guess along with the Bodydonnas and maybe the Rockers.

This is starting off very slow as would be expected until get the comedy idea of having the Guns fight each other. This lasts about 8 seconds as Zip comes in. He gets tripped and pinned very fast as I think Skip’s neck injury was legit. It seemed way too convenient and pointless to have them out there and eliminated so fast, so I’m assuming his neck really was hurt. I think they were faces or at least tweeners actually, which surprises me. Rockers take over on Hank.

This doesn’t last long as Hank realizes he’s fighting the freaking New Rockers and beats them up with relative ease, pinning one of them after the Slop Drop, bringing it down to the Guns vs. the Godwins. Due to the rules being the way they are, any way this ends means the titles can change hands. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s mid 90s WWF stuff so I’m just going to go with it. Billy just will not shut up and I’m sick of it already.

They beat on Henry for a long time until Billy being the brains of the team sets for a corner splash but screams first, leading to him getting caught. This allows for the lukewarm tag that no one could care less about. Apparently Bill Clinton is turning 50 today.

Hillbilly Jim goes after Sunny which allows for the double team to end the match and the Guns keep the titles. Afterwards Sunny talks about how great she is and offers a gift to the arena unveiling a massive poster of herself, which I’m certainly not complaining about.

Rating: B-. Eh, it was a pretty bland four team match but it let the Guns keep the belts with relative ease and it filled in some time on the card. It wasn’t particularly good, but it certainly did the job it was supposed to: title defense that took up some time and made the champions look good. That’s as good as it can get I guess.

British Bulldog vs. Sid

Not entirely sure why they’re fighting but I think Sid is feuding with all of Camp Cornette at this point. No Cornette with him though as Jim is with Vader. Sid says his usual insane stuff that goes nowhere at all. Again, why was he so freaking popular? Vince thinks Psycho Sid is crazy. Nice one there Vinny Mac.

Vince thinks fans are the same all over the world. Does he sleep through the Canadian shows? After Ross says don’t expect a lot of technical stuff from Sid he breaks out a headlock takeover and various suplexes, the last of which is countered into Davey’s suplex. Clarence Mason comes down to be pointless. Yes we have two big power guys here, laying on the mat with headlocks. I give up.

We see Vader warming up in the back with Cornette. They get it right here for the most part though by showing this while Sid is out on the floor rather than in the middle of action. Powerslam to Sid but Cornette comes out to yell at Mason. A second powerslam is blocked into a chokeslam and powerbomb by Sid to end it.

Rating: D. Boring match that did nothing at all but further the horrible Cornette vs. Mason feud for control over his stable. Once Mason took over the stable died completely. This was just a quick match that had nothing at all going for it and no one cared at all, or at least I didn’t.

Quick video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

This is stemming from Goldust hitting on Sable a lot in the past few weeks. At least there’s a reason for them to fight. That’s a nice lesson that the writers today need to learn: it’s very possible to have a decent feud with even the most basic of stories. Running in to beat on someone isn’t really a storyline. That’s the common issue that starts “feuds” anymore and that just doesn’t get it done most of the time. Mero says that he’s going to win.

Goldust has been calling Sable mommy or something like that. That was never really explained which I think is the best move. Vince says that Mero and Sable are special people. I’m guessing it means he slept with Sable. JR hints at something called the Wild Thing. It’ll end the match. Naturally in a Goldust match it starts with random stuff from him that inspired the character that is known as KB. I’ve always found Mero to be overrated but he’s doing pretty well here.

Who would have thought that Goldust would still be active 13 years later? Ahmed Johnson, the IC Champion, is out with an injury and they’re not sure what’s going to be done about the belt. It’s vacated very soon if I remember correctly. Correction it was vacated earlier in the week. Mero would win it in a tournament in about a month or so. Goldust takes over for awhile until Mero is beaten down pretty badly.

Mankind comes out for no apparent reason as he and Goldust were working together for no apparent reason. Mero goes into the corner and comes off with a….well he jumped off and…it was kind of like….well he just jumped backwards and hit Goldust. This was of course very risky since it was from Mero. We’re told that Pillman is interviewing Sid on the Superstar line. Have to love that they’ve gotten over Sid nearly killing him in the War Games match in the early 90s.

The fans and commentators are just bored out of their mind but the classic ten punches in the corner gets them going a bit. Mero finally gets in the air a bit and wakes the people up somewhat. After beating Goldust up, they completely screw this up as Mero debuts the Wild Thing, more commonly known as a Shooting Star Press. Now, Mero just debuted a new big move that was clearly a finisher. So the logical thing would be to have him get the pin with it right?

Apparently not as Marlena is on the ropes for all of 5 seconds, which added to the two count is enough for Goldust to kick out. Yeah, that’s great. Let Goldust just kick out of it. If you’re going to do that, have the two count and THEN Marlena up on the apron so the count stops and Mero goes after her. Just don’t kill the move’s credibility that quickly.

They show the double screen of Mero doing and talk about how great it was. Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the pin. I just don’t get that. What’s the point of debuting a huge move like that and have him lose? Goldust tries to kiss Sable but Mero beats him up pretty well for it.

Rating: C+. This just has me shaking my head. It made the Wild Thing look weak here to have Goldust simply kick out of it, as well as just have Goldust beat him clean maybe 90 seconds after it. The wrestling was fine, but I do not get what the point was of the Wild Thing.

Sunny and Farrooq come out, as Sunny’s stable now consists of two cowboys and a black supremacist/gladiator. Does that sound like the beginning of a bad joke to anyone else? Two cowboys, a gladiator and a gold digging woman? His blue helmet just looks so stupid.

He’s out there yelling about not being the IC Champion. To make even more sense, he lost the tournament in the finals to Mero of all people. Simmons desperately needs to get in the Nation of Domination. Sunny says she gets what she wants and she wants the IC Title. Does that mean she’s going to be in the tournament?

We see a recap of Lawler vs. Jake Roberts. Now this was a very interesting and intense albeit short feud. The idea is simple: Roberts is a recovering alcoholic and Lawler is making fun of him for it, even having a big bottle of alcohol in the corner with him for the matches and offering Jake a drink. Lawler, as a heel, has a huge fear of snakes. Some of the this is actually really disturbing as Jake has a bad issue with alcohol, which means I don’t think it should be used as an angle.

Before the match, we’re introduced to the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Oh dear. He comes out to Luger’s music of all things so you know this is going to be bad. He can’t even get the headset on right to do commentary. For a guy like Vince that is obsessed with musclemen, this is just a big orgasm, complete with pyro for Henry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

He’s been on commentary 10 seconds and I’m already annoyed with him. Lawler has a bag of his own but we don’t see what’s inside yet. He’s also rocking a Baltimore Ravens jersey, which is considered cheap heat but to me that’s just pure awesomeness. For an Indians fan like me, this is just fun. Sandy Alomar is there and he says he’s left tickets for the Modells. He brings Jake’s partners, the Jim Beam twins.

He insults Jake’s wife as Henry is cracking up at the jokes, despite being a face. They point out that Henry was injured in the Olympics, as Lawler says that he’s dumb enough to bronze a gold medal. Henry is just awful on commentary. His comebacks are that of a 6th grader. Lawler is just doing one liners here as is his trademark. I never realized how tall Jake is but he’s about 6’5 which is taller than Orton and HHH.

Harvey Whippleman is the referee so Lawler is the most normal person in the ring. Lawler shows what’s in his bag: a massive bottle of alcohol. Henry shows that he’s a long term heel, saying that he’s afraid of snakes. Roberts wraps Revelations, the big yellow snake, around the King. Wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Ross sounds like he’s giving moral support to Henry which is just stupid sounding. After about 7 minutes of stalling, they finally make contact.

However in this case, I’m ok with the stalling as it makes sense here. Vince talks about how Jake is a veteran. I’d think Lawler has more experience actually. Lawler steals a soda from the floor and throws it at Jake. Henry of course is concerned about the fan’s drinking tonight. My goodness he’s terrible at this. Ross suggests that Henry learn the DDT. Yeah that’s a big negative. Lawler hits Roberts in the throat with a bottle to pin him with the tights.

The ironic part of Perfect being on commentary was that he was a huge alcoholic too. After the match, Lawler pours whiskey down Jake’s throat. He gets another bottle to do the same, but Henry, the face, stops him. This got really quite intense, but it was better in ROH when Raven did it to Punk, with Dreamer’s help.

Rating: C-. This was all about the angle and not about the match at all. The match itself would probably be an F, but the angle is very solid. It’s a real life angle that can actually work out. The sad part was how Roberts fell apart with alcohol and drugs in the future as has been well documented.

Backlund is campaigning to be President.

Recap of Taker vs. Mankind. Nothing here that needs explaining.

Boiler Room Brawl: Mankind vs. Undertaker

The way you win here is to come to the ring and claim the urn from Paul Bearer, who will be standing in the ring for the whole match. This is an odd match as Taker comes into the boiler room and immediately stats looking for Mankind. The big problem at first is you can’t see anything. The lighting is terrible and it’s a lot of lurking in the shadows and stuff, which is fine but not for a wrestling match.

Everything is way too dark to really get anything going. The commentators are talking about how Mankind could be anywhere. Now we get to the weird part: as soon as Mankind sneaks up on Taker and beats him up, we lose commentary. It’s not like the audio dies, but they just stop talking. It’s really weird to have a match like this with no audio at all other than the wrestlers themselves and whatever sounds they make while beating on things.

As for the match itself, it’s mainly the two of them hitting each other with random objects, which is fine as it’s just a big brawl in an odd place but the chemistry they have is perfect with each other, making this very fun. We get random things from the announcers, but it’s like a word between all three of them a minute. I’m assuming there’s closed circuit or something in the arena. The video goes out momentarily too but Vince says they’re sorry for it. Ah there it is.

This is mainly just weapons use, which is ok but can only go on for so long. Mankind launches some steam at Taker, which may or may not have been scalding. The crowd pops huge for Taker getting a pipe to the balls for some reason. This is really starting to show how important commentary is to a match as it would help a lot here. Running knee to the area near Taker’s head into a steel door would hurt horribly I think, if nothing else it would hurt Mankind’s knee.

Taker is getting his head handed to him like never before, which seems to happen in every match he competes in against a big time heel. Mankind’s incoherent babbling is a very nice touch. More technical difficulties as I’m pretty sure the fans are watching on closed circuit as they boo the heck out of it. This is the longest its been out for, although we pop in long enough to see Taker being slammed. We’re back now and Mankind has a ladder.

When I say ladder, I mean an old wooden one, not the kind in ladder matches. Here’s where we get the most seen spot of this match, with Taker pulling Mankind off the ladder and him falling onto a bunch of pipes and pieces of metal and wood. Oh, apparently it was a big box. As Taker goes for the door, a thought occurs to me: when Taker was looking around for Mankind just after coming in, why didn’t he just turn around and leave?

The rules just said once they were both in the first to get to the urn in the ring wins, so why not just turn and run? Probably because it wouldn’t be much of a match if that’s what they did I suppose. Big shot with a fire extinguisher which is always cool. They get through the door which is good as this match was in bad need of a change of venue. Mankind does something very smart and barricades the door. That’s actually a brilliant move when you think about it.

The dumb part comes when he stands there to help barricade it. Isn’t the point of blocking the door to be able to run from it? It’s weird seeing wrestlers standing in the hallway as these two fight. Mankind throws hot coffee on Taker, which could be fake I suppose. After about 20 minutes they’re in the arena. The good part is that it doesn’t feel like this has been going that long, which to me says it hasn’t been boring.

Ah good we have TV monitors there to show the people what was going on during the earlier part of the match. That’s nice of them. They fight even more trying to get into the ring. This is a great touch as it’s just more brawling and I like that after this long there’s no real leader. In a sick looking spot, both are on the apron and Taker slings the ropes back and Mankind slams down on the concrete. Taker gets in the ring and takes the knee, but Bearer won’t give him the urn.

Mankind takes him out with the claw as Bearer is laughing. He slaps Taker as JR screams to stop that. Taker crawls to Paul, reaching up for the urn. Bearer slams him in the head with it and hands Mankind the urn for the win. This was huge at the time as Taker had always had Paul Bearer with him. As they leave, Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Well I’m glad he can say his own name. Maybe next he’ll know his phone number.

We get a single gong which I thought was a mistake but the lights go out and druids start singing. They head to the ring I guess to help Taker. What was it like when they got to the arena? I’m trying to imagine them asking where their dressing room is. The druids carry him out in more darkness.

Naturally, he’d be back soon but feuding with Vader over the WWF Title #1 contender spot, eventually taking the belt at Mania. This would in turn lead to what was likely the biggest angle of his career, as in less than a year, Bear would mention the name of the man called Kane.

Rating: A-. This was a very good fight. The angle was huge at the end, but I think the brawling in the boiler room went on a bit too long. Coupling that with the lack of commentary and it’s just below a classic. This at the time was one of the most brutal matches ever, but what they would do in the summer of 98 blew this so far out of the water it’s unreal. Still, this was great.

In Your House promo.

Vader and Cornette, who is still a bigger name than Mark Madden as he’s on Summerslam here cutting a promo just before the main event, say that they’re going to beat up Shawn and take the title.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader had been built up as unstoppable all year and had pinned Shawn the previous month in a 6 man tag. The opening/formula is exactly what you would expect: Shawn starts off hot by throwing all kinds of high risk stuff and punches at Vader and they work for a long while. However, soon Vader takes over after landing a power bomb on the floor. Granted that’s the same move that nearly killed Mick Foley, but we can let that slide I suppose.

Shawn is just getting the tar beaten out of him here so he’s following the Bret Hart formula of start hot, look good getting beaten up, and then make your comeback. Shawn has some mini comebacks and Vader counters with a thumb to the eye. There’s something funny about that to me. Perfect drops the term go home, which means to end the match. That doesn’t happen at the moment of course though as that would just suck for a main event.

Shawn skins the cat which to me is one of the most athletic moves you can do along with the nip up. He gets caught though and Vader just throws him which is a cool looking move. Perfect just hates Shawn to say the least. Shawn keeps trying to come back with punches and clotheslines but they just don’t work. In an odd spot, he slides down to try a sunset flip but Vader puts his foot on Shawn’s chest. Shouldn’t that be a pin since Shawn’s shoulders are down?

He finally takes Vader down with a big clothesline. I think Shawn botches a move as he has Vader down to the elbow but he pulls up and just kind of lands next to Vader on his feet. I think he was trying to make it look like a big stomp but it just missed totally. I wonder why it wasn’t the elbow at that moment. They go to the floor and brawl again, but this time Vader picks up Shawn and drops him over the railing chest/ribs first.

Vader slides into the ring for the count out win. Wait, what the heck? Yes, Vader wins by count out that quick. The female fan at ringside is SCREAMING at Shawn to get up as apparently Becca has made her way to Cleveland. Cornette is ticked off and shouts into the mic that it’s not over yet and demands to keep going. Shawn is called a coward and agrees to keep going of course. Vader beats the tar out of Shawn but a powerbomb is countered by a bunch of punches.

Shawn finally gets the elbow but Cornette throws in the racket. Shawn catches it and beats the heck out of Vader, which is merely Shawn returning the favor for Cornette beating on Shawn earlier in the match. Vader wins by DQ. And so ends Summerslam…again with Shawn leaving to fight another day. Apparently it doesn’t though as Cornette is talking (stop the presses!) again.

Shawn of course accepts one more restart and they’re at it again. Shawn is killing him to start but gets caught. In between the ref goes down and there’s no one to count the pin. Also, Vader gets up from SCM. They set for the Vader Bomb but Shawn moves as the big man goes for the moonsault. He hits a moonsault from the top of his own onto Vader to get the pin. Perfect is ticked off and leaves the announce booth. He comes back all of three seconds later. Shawn poses us out to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was another very good match, but the triple ending just kind of left me scratching my head. It would have been fine had they just done a standard match by giving Vader a ton of time to beat on Shawn, ending with the moonsault to win in. Either way, this was a fine version of David vs. Goliath with Shawn looking like the giant killer at the end of it all to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: A. This show was AWESOME. It was the polar opposite of that excuse for a show we had last year. Every match is at least good with some solid angles, brutal matches and good technical stuff. I really liked what I saw here tonight and yes, this certainly lvies up to the hype. It’s certainly in the running for best Summerslam to date and perhaps best ever, but at the moment I’ll have to go with 92 just ahead of it. Still, excellent show and a big recommendation.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1992 (2013 Redo): That’s A Lot Of People

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.

Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.

For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.

We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.

Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.

Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.

Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.

The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.

Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.

Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango

Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.

Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?

Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker

This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.

Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.

Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.

Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).

Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.

Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.

Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.

We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.

Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.

Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.

They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.


The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.

Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.

We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.

It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.

A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.

Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.

A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.

Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.

The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.

Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.

Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.

Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.

The official attendance is announced.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.

Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.

British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.

Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.

Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.

Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.

Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.

Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

Redo: C+

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

Redo: D

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

Redo: F

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: B+

I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/26/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1992-a-tape-delayed-ppv-yes-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 1992 (Original): The Big English One

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 29, 1992 (aired on PPV August 31, 1992)
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re a year removed from the nearly complete and utter crap that was Summerslam 1991. After Warrior was fired, he was back a mere 6 months later to save Hogan from getting beaten up by Sid. After a feud with Papa Shango, he was given a world title match at Summerslam against Macho. However, Flair and Perfect were still mad that Flair had never gotten his title match, so they’ve injected themselves into this.

The story goes like this: Flair says that they’ll be in the corner of one guy, but they won’t say whom. Both Savage and Warrior think someone is going to turn and the fans bought into it completely. Even I thought someone was going to turn. That’s main event #1. #2, and the real main event, was Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith for the IC Belt. This had another great storyline attached to it as Smith’s wife was Bret’s sister.

The angel was that she couldn’t decide whom to cheer for, which makes sense as who are you supposed to side with in a match like that? There’s no right or wrong answer and she eventually went with she hoped no one got hurt. That match is considered by many to be the greatest match of all time.

Now I’m not sure if I’d go that far, but it’s way up there. However, that’s more or less the only match most people remember from the show. This was the first PPV in a country other than the US or Canada, so let’s see how the first truly international show is.

So yeah, screw this up and had written all the way up to the start of Warrior/Savage and the computer died, ending my file which is going to have to be redone. I’m a bit ticked off about that. Actually I’m a lot ticked off about that. Let’s get this freaking thing going…again.

We open the show outside for no apparent reason as we hear the opinions of the fans of whose corner Perfect would be in. Dang some of these people are hard to understand. Learn English people. One of the kids says Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Uh, I’m not the smartest wrestling fan in the world, but wouldn’t you want to win every match you’re in?

We hear some horns playing and more random shots of London before going to the stadium. The only thing I can say: DANG! This place looks awesome as the whole place is full and it’s second only to WM 3 as far as I can remember. Heenan is wearing a crown of course. Vince says this is the Summerslam you thought you’d never see.

I know 91 sucked but were they not planning on having another one after it? Were there issues in the company that I just didn’t recall? That’s Vince for you though as he rarely made sense. I have three dark matches on my tape, so let’s get to them.

Jim Duggan/Bushwackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Matches like these, which are usually not shown on official releases, are always cool to see because they’re unique. Not to mention it’s bonus wrestling so how can it be a bad thing? Mountie’s music is just nothing short of great. He sings it on the way to the ring, adding in commentary to it as he goes. That’s either brilliant or stupid. Heenan makes a Michael Jackson reference.

This is being written for the second time on the 4th of July, ten days after his death, and it still is hard to comprehend that the King of Pop is dead. Heenan goes on to say that New Zealand is a suburb of London as Shadow is face palming. For some reason Duggan, one of the biggest patriots in wrestling history, is cheered. Only a British crowd would chant USA in London for a team mainly made of people from New Zealand.

Both teams try to get cheers from the crowd in a bit of a contest to start. After two of these we get going. I always loved the Bushwackers, mainly because one of them, I believe Luke, licked me at a house show when I was 3-4 years old. Bobby is on fire here with the jokes. This is following a very simple formula: little wrestling, little brawling, lather rinse and repeat. The heels take over or it wouldn’t be a traditional tag match.

As this happens, the fans chant Butch. There’s a bunch of jokes there but I’d get banned for them. The Wackers use their battering ram on a pile of the guys in the corner, bringing forth the really bad Earl of Sandwich jokes from Vince. The bias from Vince is just flat out sad as he cheers when faces cheat and claims it’s horrid when heels do it. I get that he’s a face commentator but this is boarder line Gorilla Monsoon territory.

In a bit of a weird spot, Knobbs and Mountie lock hands for a double clothesline but instead use a boot to the stomach. Just looked odd to me. The announcers argue over the rules again and Heenan asks what’s in Vince’s book? That’s a very interesting idea actually. Can you imagine what a real Vince McMahon autobiography, as in not a WWE-PG one would be like? Some of the stories in there would be insane.

Duggan comes in and amazingly enough we get a big brawl. I think they botch the spot at the end again here as Duggan is set for the three point clothesline but Mountie doesn’t get up. Duggan goes to pick him up but Mountie gets up on his own and Duggan gets back in position, so maybe he was just late. Sags misses a top rope elbow onto Mountie to end it as Duggan gets the pin.

Rating: B. This was perfect for an opening dark match. It wasn’t serious in the slightest and was there to do nothing but get the crowd into the show. That’s just fine and it worked perfectly. Nothing great, but to open the action for a major PPV, this was just fine.

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Now with Shango you have someone that absolutely scared the living tar out of me. He was the voodoo guy and he actually beat up the Warrior. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Their blowoff match was in Rupp Arena so I was likely there for it. Shango was coming off a huge program with Warrior and they weren’t sure what to do with him at the moment as is evidenced here with him in a dark match.

Santana was in his El Matador gimmick at the time which was the height of stupidity. These two might add up to being the dumbest collection of gimmicks in one place at one time until being eclipsed by the gimmick battle royal. Santana was a guy a lot like Finlay or Regal today in that he could have a very solid match with just about anyone. Since he can do that, why would you ever get rid of him?

That’s what Vince realized so even once Tito was no longer a major player, you could still put him into a program and get a solid performance that you could depend on out of him. That’s a great asset to have and will almost always guarantee you at least employment. Santana gets NO reaction at all. They go back and forth for a bit, but Shango more or less no sells the big forearm, meaning that the move that nearly knocked Savage out isn’t good enough to get a two on a guy like Shango.

The ideas around finishing moves apparently depend on your place on the card which has always seemed bogus to me. He’s rocking the pink boots here, offering further proof that only Bret Hart can pull that off.

Now he hits another forearm and it’s a move of death, so thanks for the continuity there guys. I watch this match and the idea of how absurd Shango’s character is begins to dawn on me. A voodoo medicine man is supposed to have tights, wrist tape, weigh in and have boots? Anyway, he hits what has to be the worst finishing move possible: the shoulder breaker, to pin Santana.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. It just never felt like it got going at all. Shango just didn’t know how to make a match work and with the shoulder breaker, he looked absurd out there. A character like his could have worked very well, but he just didn’t get the way the thought process should have been going at all.

Tatanka vs. Berserker

If you recall what I said about two gimmicks never being more absurd, forget it. These two are miles beyond what the last match had to offer. Tatanka is the Native American and Berserker is a Viking that wants to stab people. I say this with all sincerity: I wonder how many people there had no clue what Tatanka was. Apparently quite a few as he gets a big pop.

I think this match was actually filmed after the show as it’s completely dark except for the lights now, as opposed to the previous matches where sunlight could have lit the arena. For no good reason at all, Tatanka beats him up for the opening of this match. In the only interesting thing you’ll hear from Vince all night, Tatanka means Raging Buffalo. The structure to the ring is kind of weird as there’s the aisle and then some steps to get to what we would call the outside.

I kind of like that, but it’s similar to the setup that caused the end of Rick Rude’s career. They fight on the floor and the racial stereotype takes Berserker down the mini stairs to slam him and then comes back up them. After that waste of time it’s more stereotyping as the Papoose To Go ends it. I wonder if I can get a Papoose for eating in?

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match but that’s really not saying a lot. There was just a weird flow to this match and while it wasn’t horrid, it certainly wasn’t something you wanted to see more of.

Now it’s time for the real show as we get a very standard yet good early 90s opening. In something I like we just go straight to the first match.

Money Inc. vs. LOD

This was in the middle of the interesting three way feud over the tag titles between these four and the champions, the Natural Disasters. Of course, that would all be thrown out the window so Hulk and Beefcake could fight the mega heels at Mania. Part of the reason that match wasn’t the LOD somehow was because of what you’re about to see here: Rocko the Dummy. Yes you read that right.

For some reason that only Vince would know, the LOD were given back their old manager Paul Ellering (which was fine, although it would have been nice for them to tell us who in the world he was as he was their manager in the NWA). The problem came with Ellering’s friend Rocko. Rocko was a ventriloquist dummy. There was nothing more to it than that. He was a wooden dummy that the manager would bring with him and he would talk in the promos.

At least with Head and Al Snow it was a joke. This was with a serious tag team. Hawk got sick of it and quit very soon, maybe even at this show but I’m not sure. Anyway, the intro for the LOD is sweet as all three come in on Harleys. That’s actually really awesome looking, aside from the dummy being on the fornt of the first bike.

As if that’s not enough, Paul carries the stupid thing around at the ring. No wonder Hawk quit over this nonsense. Vince says that the LOD are known for being strong and for their great psychology. Excuse me for one second.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

LOD having freaking PSYCHOLOGY??? WOW, and I thought the people that want Kane to remask were imbeciles. They hit people hard. That’s their psychology I supposed. Yeah, that’s just a freaking joke all around. After I laugh very hard at that, I come to a screeching halt as I see something that’s just an ungodly abomination upon mankind.

Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man, to me the greatest heel of all time, is wearing WHITE TIGHTS!!! WHAT IN THE HECKIS THIS NONSENSE??? DIBIASE, A HEEL, DOES NOT WEAR WHITE!!! EVER SINCE HE DEBUTED IT’S BEEN BLACK WITH DOLLAR SIGNS, BUT NOW HE’S WEARING WHITE??? THAT JUST DOES NOT WORK!!! After about three minutes of frustration, I think I’m ok now.

After Hawk beats him up for a minute (absolutely right he should get beaten up) both tag, as Vince says Animal will now start the match for his team. Riiiiiight. The LOD get beaten up with sleepers and a slam on the floor by white tights Magee over there. Not only that but his kneepads are long so it looks like he’s wearing stripper boots. Hart is yelling at Paul about the puppet on the floor which shows that Hart is always thinking out there.

He’s a bit annoying but the guy has always been around and always works as hard as he could. The heels dominate much of this which makes perfect sense here as they’re the thinking wrestlers and all they had to do was wait for LOD to make a mistake. Wow both the heels are over 260? That’s a big surprising.

Eventually Animal gets tagged in and the LOD starts throwing Money Inc. all over the ring. The ending comes out of almost nowhere as they get DiBiase up but IRS dropkicks Animal so he drops him. DiBiase gets powerslammed and pinned to end it. Just a very abrupt ending.

Rating: C+. Certainly not a bad match, but it just didn’t have any flow and while it was a 12 minute match, it felt like about 5. DiBiase’s tights are something I just can’t let go as it’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long time. This just felt really fast and the ending looked odd to me. Not bad, but just didn’t work that well in my eyes.

In the back, Flair, in his wrestling attire despite not wrestling that night, which is a thread in and amongst itself, is with Gene. I really like this promo by Flair as Gene is demanding to know where Mr. Perfect is. He asks if Perfect is with Savage. Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. He asks if Perfect is with Warrior.

Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. Gene demands to know the whereabouts of Mr. Perfect. Flair says “why, he’s in the dressing room of course!” Whose dressing room? “Why, the dressing room of the winner of course. WHOO!” This comes off really well as Flair is just epic on the stick here.

We go over to Sean Mooney and Virgil, who is fighting Nailz tonight. More on Nailz later. Virgil is REALLY bad at promos. He shouts on weird words, he moves around too much, and I think he had 5 catchphrases inside of a 40 second promo. I feel sorry for the heat he gets though. I’ve heard stories of him being at wrestling conventions and autograph shows where he’ll sit at his table for 5 hours and maybe get 4 people that talk to him.

No he wasn’t ever a big star but he’s bigger than that. He’s wrestled at Wrestlemania and Starrcade, so it’s not like he’s never done anything of note. I’d certainly talk to him for awhile. Apparently he’s trying to get revenge for his best friend (WTF??) the Big Boss Man.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz is a character that it’s very possible a lot of you don’t remember and that’s very understandable as he was on the roster less than a year. He had a great bit of psychology to him because he was supposed to be a convict that Boss Man had beaten up in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. Therefore, Nailz had no training and only used punches, chokes and kicks etc. That makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

After a match Boss Man had with a jobber, Nailz ran out and beat up Boss Man, putting him out for about 5 months. This match is for Virgil to try to get some revenge for his buddy, and you can guess how this is going to go. Before we get to this match though, let’s go over how Nailz left the company because it’s a story unlike any you’ve ever heard. Nailz tried to kill Vince McMahon. I mean that literally, as in he was choking Vince and Vince was turning blue.

Nailz wanted money but Vince wouldn’t give it to him. Obviously, he was fired immediately thereafter. Nailz was also a guy at the steroids trial that was one of the big witnesses, but his testimony was so far over the top that it actually helped Vince out. Nailz was scheduled for a big feud with Taker as they were on the cover of the WWF magazine, had a staredown on Superstars and had some house show matches.

It’s saying a lot that he was being given Taker to work with and then all that other stuff happened. He was in WCW for all of a week, jobbing to Sting before he was out of the mainstream. Kind of sad as I always liked him.

As for the match, what are you expecting here? It’s a guy that needs wins to prove himself against a glorified jobber. Nailz dominates early but Virgil takes over, leading to the chokeout win. I know that’s really short but that’s the commentary for the whole match. It’s like 3 minutes long and there’s just nothing at all of note in it. Afterwards Nailz beats up Virgil with the stick.

Rating: C. This was really hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. It was a squash and it got the point it was trying to make. Virgil fights but loses while Nailz looks dominant, leading up to the return of the Boss Man and their blowoff match at the Survivor Series.

Alfred Hayes can’t get into Savage’s dressing room.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

There’s a very interesting pair of twists here. First of all, both guys are heels. Second, there’s an agreement not to hit each other in the face. That’s not something you hear very often. This is still the boy toy era for Shawn as he wasn’t a huge deal yet but was getting there. Sherri’s outfit has no back so she’s more or less in a thong which Vince notices IMMEDIATELY.

Martel cartwheels out of the way of a backdrop and does some jumping jacks. Shawn takes over for the most part early on and Martel is in trouble. And never mind as it’s more or less even. Shawn pulls back to throw a punch but stops. Martel is the de facto face here which is interesting as he was a pretty solid heel.

Shawn is down on the floor as Martel asks Sherri to come with him. They hug and Shawn doesn’t really see it. The cameraman keeps getting shots of Sherri’s back which isn’t that bad I guess. Both guys use the tights as it’s kind of interesting to see all of the heel vs. heel tactic. Also do you think that’s enough back shots in one match?

Sweet chin music hits the chest which makes sense here. Shawn hits a knee to the face and goes for the ropes with his feet but can’t reach them so the referee stops the count before he got there. In other words he’s not counting because they’re following the rules. Ok then. They start slapping each other and Sherri starts to freak.

They square off with fists up as Sherri “faints”. Dang she falls really well. Vince of course thinks she’s had a heart attack. Shawn DRILLS Martel when he tries to give her mouth to mouth. They slug it out in the aisle and it’s a double countout. Sherri gets up to see what’s going on and then pretends she’s out again.

Shawn comes back to carry her off as Vince and Heenan make jokes. Martel runs down and drills him, sending Sherri crashing to the floor. He picks her up and Shawn drills Martel, sending Sherri flying sprawling to the floor again. This is kind of funny as it’s coming off almost like a Weekend At Bernie’s thing which is meant as a good thing. Martel comes out and throws water on Sherri for no apparent reason.

Rating: B. I really liked this actually. It’s definitely a different kind of idea and it worked very well I thought. It’s not often you get a good heel vs. heel match but you certainly did here. This worked very well and the post match stuff was funny yet good at the same time. I liked this far more than I expected to and it worked well.

The Nasties say they’ll get their tag title shot, but for no reason at all they talk about the world title match. You see the beginnings of Jimmy’s jumping to Money Inc and the to his face turn.

Tag Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

I’m sure most of you know who the Natural Disasters are, but how many of you know who the Beverly Brothers are? I’m guessing not many of you, because I can fairly safely say that this is the highlight of the WWF run. I think their gimmick was being spoiled rich kids but that was never really explained. They were really just tag team jobbers and little more.

They were a huge deal in the AWA where they were the only tag team to win rookies of the year. They were gone in less than two years and no one noticed they were gone. Anyway, this is a standard tag with the Naturals dominating early but then the heels taking over as Heenan makes fat jokes. BREAKING NEWS: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY! Since Typhoon sucks more than Quake, he’s the face in peril.

A shot to the back with the metal scroll of the Genius has no effect which makes me wonder what the point of that was. Quake beats up the Beverly Brother so Typhoon is on his own and can make the tag. Naturally, the talented Disaster known as Earthquake kicks some Beverly faces in. A brief double team leads to the Earthquake to end this.

Rating: D+. The low rating is for one reason: there is a total and complete lack of drama in this. No one believed the Beverlys had a chance and they didn’t at all. It was a title match for a title match’s sake, which never turns out to be anything good. This was a waste of time, but I guess the match itself was fine.

Gene interviews the Bushwackers who want to talk about Perfect being in someone’s corner. Gene makes some dumb British jokes which aren’t funny.

Alfred Hayes can’t get in Warrior’s dressing room either.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Crush is once again a guy that could have been a big star but he never got a push that he needed. It’s a Demolition reunion here as Smash meets Crush. This is pure filler and nothing but a way to kill some time before the world title match. Repo’s offense is about 9 punches, a thumb to the eye, and a belly to back suplex. That’s it. Other than that, we get Crush using the head vice and dominating the whole thing. Boring and quick match which was just a filler, so how much can I complain?

Rating: C+. This was pure filler so what do you really expect from it? Crush looked dominant so he’ll be getting a bit better push. Oh wait he’s about to start feuding with Doink. Nevermind.

We hit the recap button on Warrior and Savage’s feud which is WAY too long. There’s two holes I see in this storyline. For one, Perfect tells both guys he’ll be in their corner. Ok, that’s fine, but couldn’t either guy put two and two together and get they’re being played? I guess that one’s forgivable though as either guy could have planned to lie to the other one.

However, the one thing I can’t get: if Perfect’s such a great manager, WHY IS THE GUY HE’S MANAGING NOT CHAMPION ALREADY? Since when did Perfect become this hot commodity all of a sudden? Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is just great stuff.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Oh apparently it’s the Ullllllllllllllllllltimate Warrior according to Vince. Of course Perfect doesn’t come out with either guy at first to build even more suspense which is actually a good move. It’s twilight in London so the scene of the whole stadium is really cool looking. Huge staredown to start which shows off the point that Warrior is now wearing a flesh colored singlet. This was huge for the theory that Warrior was on steroids which he pretty much was a guaranteed user of.

The start of this is a style that I like as nearly the first ten minutes is almost completely back and forth work. Neither guy can get anything substantial going and they just hammer away on the other one, looking for an advantage. Savage is getting booed here so I guess he’s supposed to be the heel? Anyway, eventually he takes a slight advantage as he knocks Warrior to the floor.

They come back in and I guess Warrior botches a spot as Savage is trying to pull him into the turnbuckle but Warrior falls short. You can tell it was a botch as they do the exact same thing about two seconds later. In a weird spot that I kind of like, Savage hits the double axe but Warrior does his hulk up thing. The second takes him down, but he catches the third in a powerslam. Just kind of a weird looking sequence.

Anyway, Warrior takes control as we get a nice little story going of neither guy being able to get a definitive advantage going for them. Warrior hurts Savage’s back and Savage hurts Warrior’s neck. They slow it down now with Warrior having a slight advantage. This is a slower paced match which is fine, as it’s going longer so the slow page helps it a lot I think. After a minute or two of this, Perfect and Flair come down.

This is where I really wish they hadn’t been involved, as Warrior and Savage were putting on a great match so far that had me very interested in it. Warrior does something weird (stunning right?) as he slams Savage, goes to the apron, and turns right back around and comes into the ring. What the heck? He misses a splash which he sells like he got shot in the ribs. Vince freaks because Perfect hasn’t gone to either corner.

Since when are there designated corners for a singles match? Perfect pulls the leg of Savage as Warrior is instantly the heel. I know my jokes have been lacking here, but this has been a great match and it’s hard to make fun of something that you really like. I think Warrior has set a record for most body slams in one match. After another one he goes to the top which I guess was the spot he wanted to do earlier. Maybe he stopped because Perfect and Flair were coming.

That would make sense I guess. Oh the ref is down too. He gets up and Warrior argues with him, leading to a much bigger ref bump. Piledriver from Savage which looks awesome. This time Perfect holds Warrior as Flair hits him with, well I guess since we’re in England it’s a natural born object. Savage however doesn’t see it. After slam #38 the elbow hits but due to no referee, we get a two despite Savage pulling the tights which is acknowledged.

Hulk up by Warrior as he starts the sequence that ended Mania 7’s match. Perfect tries to grab his foot during the set up for the splash but Flair gets him with a chair to the back on the other side as everyone is sure Savage is the guy that bought Perfect’s services. Apparently the crack of a chair, Flair moving away suddenly, and the Warrior suddenly falling down on his face aren’t enough proof that he did anything for the referee.

There’s another very nice little touch to this as Savage hasn’t seen anything that Flair or Perfect have done. Earlier the piledriver could have put Warrior down for as long as Savage was helping the referee, but this time he knows he didn’t touch Warrior, so someone else must have. That’s a nice little touch to add to it. Savage is ticked off that someone is helping him, so no one knows what’s going on.

He sets for the elbow but can’t take the win that way, instead jumping at Flair, WHO HAS A CHAIR! The obvious happens and Savage jumps into the chair, knocking himself nearly out as I can barely believe how stupid that was. This leads to the fastest count out of all time in an ending that I’m really not wild about at all. Apparently the chair hit Savage in the knee as Flair and Perfect destroy Savage soon thereafter but Warrior makes the save.

This would lead to the injured knee of Savage that would eventually cost Savage the title to Flair on a match that is very hard to find. The announcers conclude that no one sold out, which is about as obvious as the statement that Vince is an imbecile at times. He goes on to say that both men are champions. Not really Vince, not really. Savage would lose the belt two days later, before one Hitman would win it about a month and a half afterwards.

Warrior hands him the belt and helps him to the back with the music playing as we go to Perfect and Flair in the back. Since this is integral to the match, I’ll lump them together. They say that the deal was made, but it was between Perfect and Flair. They mention Plan B but won’t say what it is. Spoiler: it’s getting the title back to Flair. Gene thinks this is earth shattering news when it’s really not.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping it from being an A+ is the lack of a definitive ending, which I guess was required to have Savage drop the belt two days later. Anyway, this was an excellent match as both guys beat the tar out of each other and neither really gave an inch.

It may not have been as epic as their Mania match, but it’s good on its own. Perfect and Flair added something to it and I’m very glad neither guy turned as it would have hurt the match in my mind. Great match, but somehow this isn’t the best match on the card.

Official Attendance: less than Mania 3 so who cares?

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Harvey Whippleman does Kamala’s intro, saying he’s from the dark continent of Africa. I was under the impression that there’s lots of sunlight in Africa, so is that a very sly racial joke? I was under the impression that Africans’ skin darkened as a natural defense to the amount of sunlight on that continent. Racial stereotypes rule I guess?

Anyway, this is really just a mini-feud for Taker before the Giant Gonzalez shows up, much like, oh I don’t know: THE SAME FREAKING THING THEY DID WITH DAIVARI, MARK HENRY, MUHAMMAD HASSAN AND KHALI??? Could that be it? Could it be that they just took the EXACT same stupid story and redid it, hoping that no one was watching 13 years ago? Yep, that’s exactly what they did.

I swear these jokes write themselves when you’re making fun of WWE’s writing. Kamala used to scare the HECK out of me when I was like 2 years old. The dude was just freaking creepy. He wants to cook Taker apparently. Taker comes to the ring in the back of a hearse that I think has a sunroof. Oh never mind he’s standing on the bumper. There’s a coffin in the hearse, which is foreshadowing the coffin match at Survivor Series in a month or two.

This is a very quick match and is only to fill in time between the two main events and let the crowd catch its breath for a bit. Taker absolutely destroys him and as he’s going for the tombstone, Kim Chee runs in and hits Taker with his helmet for the DQ. Kamala hits three splashes, including one from the top rope and Taker just sits up. Kamala runs, and we set up for the main event.

Rating: C. I think I’m going to start giving C’s to matches that are too short to grade. The problem is there’s just not enough time in a 3 minute match to tell whether its good or not. It did its job I guess which is to set up the big match next PPV and fill in time here, so I can’t complain I guess.

Mooney is with Davey Boy Smith, talking about the family pressures which was a nice touch that I think the match needed. He says that once they get into the ring, Bret isn’t his brother, but a stranger. Mooney says what will the pressure of wrestling in front of 80,000 people be like. “That’s not pressure. That’s a dream.” That line is either epic or clichéd. Not sure but I’m leaning towards the former.

Bret says that Smith wouldn’t be anything without Bret as Bret introduced Davey to his wife and got him started in the WWF. He says Smith is ungrateful and I am completely hyped for this match.

Some bagpipe players play Roddy Piper’s theme music, which is ALWAYS cool. Oh they’re the Balboa Highlanders. Piper is with them, and the marking out continues as he gets a huge pop. This is actually really cool looking as Piper gets a solo and isn’t half bad. Granted I know nothing about the bagpipes. They play Scotland the Brave, which is an awesome song so this is sweet.

Mooney is with Diana Smith, who says nothing that you wouldn’t expect her to say. Mooney rudely cuts her off and asks who she thinks will win. He cuts her off AGAIN as you can tell she really doesn’t want to do this, or she’s a great actress. Could be a combination of both as this actually isn’t that bad of an interview. She sounds really upset about this, which she should be. Mooney cuts her off a THIRD TIME to send us to ringside. Dang, Mooney was a jerk in this.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Smith comes out first to the hero’s pop. Lennox Lewis carries the flag for him as a relative unknown at the time which is always cool. The pop for Smith is huge, while Bret gets the textbook definition of a mixed reaction. He’s not exactly a heel, but he’s certainly not the guy the crowd wants to win. As for the match, I’ll be brief about it. I’m sure you’ve all seen it, but if you haven’t, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

This is an absolute classic and is in the running for greatest match of all time. While it seems that there’s no doubt who would win looking back, at the time, this was a huge upset. Smith had never really done anything of note but was getting the singles push for over a year leading up to this night. Everyone knew Hart was a god in the ring and this was the blowoff match to launch him into the main event scene where he would be for the rest of his career in the WWF.

I’m going to skip the play by play here as I can’t do it justice and go straight to the end of the match. It runs over twenty five minutes as opposed to the already forgotten near 30 minute masterpiece we saw earlier for the world title. Both guys are absolutely spent as this has been back and forth the whole time with Smith wrestling a different style than he usually did and throwing off Bret.

Bret is his traditional perfectly timed self with a balanced assault all around, mainly working on the back though to set up for the Sharpshooter. The crowd is hot the whole match as they pop over every single move. This is a match where it’s two guys doing any move they can think of instead of using the same standard stuff that they always use. Clothesline puts both guys down and Bret tries to do the same thing he did last year to Perfect to get the title in the first place.

Smith does something that’s allegedly never been done and gets to the ropes. Someone else might have done it before but I’m not sure. The announcers royally screw this up by making it sound like Bret had him in a headlock. Hart hits the ropes and goes for a sunset flip and Smith goes for the famous counter of dropping to his knees to get the pin and the title as the place erupts.

The music not playing lets things sink in a bit better as Bret can’t believe it. They announce Smith as the new champion to another epic pop. Bret gets up and eventually holds up Smith’s hand as Diana comes in and they all pose to end the show.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time and is required viewing for anyone that calls themselves a wrestling fan. That’s all that needs to be said.

Hart would go on to win the WWF Title in October in a complete shock in Canada while Smith would really be a transitional champion, losing to Shawn in about two months to launch Shawn’s singles career. This match and title change was really just for the English fans, but dang, what a treat for them and the moment is certainly worth it.

Overall Rating: A+. This is a fantastic show and unless there’s something I’m completely missing, the best Summerslam ever. The only one that pops into my mind to even approach it would be 2002, but that’s way too far in the future to worry about. There’s two absolute classics along with some other very good stuff.

The fans went home happy, there was a huge crowd, and not really a single bad match as everything is at least watchable. The worst match is by far the tag title match, but even it’s not that bad. Excellent show and it gets my highest recommendation.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – October 3, 1994: Crazy Bob’s Wrestling Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We’re in between Summerslam and Survivor Series here that means the big story is Bret Hart, who successfully defended the WWF World Title against his brother Owen back in August. However, after the match the British Bulldog and Jim Neidhart got involved and it seems that we’re moving towards a tag team feud. I’m not sure where that’s going to lead us at the moment but it’s almost time to start up the Survivor Series build. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Neidhart challenging Bulldog for tonight.

Earlier today, Neidhart and Owen arrived to call Bulldog a mud dog.

Opening sequence.

Jim Neidhart vs. British Bulldog

Owen is here with Neidhart but Bulldog is all alone. Some help Bret is. An early Owen distraction lets Neidhart jump him from behind but Bulldog nails a flying shoulder to send Neidhart outside. Back in and the power lockup (expect a few of those) goes nowhere so Neidhart grabs a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar, followed by the fully expected test of strength. Neidhart kicks him in the ribs but gets suplexed down, meaning it’s time to go to the mat. I really didn’t think I’d say that, but I did think it would be pretty messy looking.

Neidhart chokes a bit and sends him hard into the buckle to really take over. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Bulldog fights up and tries a jumping knee…which bounces off Neidhart for some reason. Neidhart grabs a shorter form chinlock so Owen low bridges Bulldog as he gets up. That’s finally enough to bring Bret to the ring as we take a break. Back with Neidhart choking on the rope and Bulldog favoring his knee. A rake to the eyes and some choking set up a bearhug as Neidhart won’t go near the knee.

Bulldog finally breaks the thing so Neidhart goes after the knee. A clothesline gives Bulldog two but Neidhart takes the straps down and cranks on the knee again. A camel clutch changes Neidhart’s focus again but he lets go again (dude stick with something) and misses a middle rope splash. Bulldog manages the delayed vertical suplex for two but here’s Bob Backlund to go after Bret, leaving Owen to come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. In case you never needed proof of why Neidhart mainly wrestled as part of a tag team. This was really boring with Neidhart using one lame hold after another and not being able to decide if he wanted to work on the back or the neck. If nothing else this makes me want to see a great tag match between these four, which does exist and is of course awesome.

Baseball is on strike but wrestling isn’t. Good for them?

Doink the Clown vs. Barry Horowitz

Barry headlocks him down as we hear about Doink’s issues with Jerry Lawler. Egads I had tried to forget about that mess. They keep exchanging technical stuff on the mat as Vince and Savage are incensed that Jerry turned Dink’s tricycle into a unicycle. Barry gets in a shot to the ribs but misses a charge. Doink grabs a powerslam and hits the Whoopee Cushion (complete with sound effect) for the pin. Well at least it was short.

The Undertaker wants Yokozuna and will find him on the upcoming Hart Attack Tour. It’s better than Road To or *insert show here* Revenge.

House show ads.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler making fun of Doink and Dink. Imagine, someone dressing up in a silly costume just to get attention (Savage explains the joke.). He doesn’t believe the lies from the commentators, which brings him to someone who needs to set the record straight. People have been saying that Yokozuna is scared of Undertaker so here he is to explain things. During Yokozuna’s entrance, Vince runs off celebrity birthdays and Savage talks about Roseanne.

Jim Cornette explains that the fear story is a smear campaign put out by Undertaker and Yokozuna, because Undertaker is the scared one. There are going to be some casket matches on the Hart Attack Tour, though Jim refuses to say the word casket. Lawler says it and Yokozuna’s head snaps around.

Cornette asks Lawler not to say that again so Lawler promises to not say “casket” again. Undertaker has good reason to be scared, because Yokozuna is the only man to ever beat him in his own game. It’s time for Undertaker to prove that he’s not scared, though let’s pause for Lawler to say casket again. Anyway, Yokozuna will destroy Undertaker soon enough.

Action Zone is coming. That show was awesome for….oh a good three weeks or so.

Bull Nakano/Luna Vachon vs. Heidi Lee Morgan/Alundra Blayze

Morgan was a minor name in the 1980s/90s and is really just a warm body here. Luna misses an early charge on Morgan to start and gets rolled up for an early two. Morgan gets taken into the corner for a beating, including a middle of the rope Vader Bomb from Vachon. It’s off to Nakano, who gets taken down with a victory roll for two. With Vince being astounded that Nakano didn’t break his hair, Savage says he’s attracted to her.

I’m not sure what to say there so we’ll move on to Morgan dropkicking Vachon down but missing a standing splash, as she dove forward three feet despite her feet touching Vachon. You can hear Vince’s disgust on the miss. Anyway it’s off to Blayze for the showdown with Nakano but everything breaks down. Morgan, not realizing that this isn’t about her, comes in to try a double suplex but Nakano suplexes both of them down instead. Vachon dropkicks Nakano by mistake though and it’s the German suplex from Blayze for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this one as it was a good example of how the women’s division could have worked back in the day. These were four women who could work and had a perfectly fine match. There were problems like Morgan being in the ring for too long and not realizing that this was supposed to be about Nakano vs. Blayze but it’s a far cry from the disasters that this division would become.

King Kong Bundy is back next week. I know that sounds like it’s out of a different era, but it’s no different than Tajiri or Rhyno showing up late in their careers. You know exactly what you’re getting and Bundy is perfectly fine at what he does.

New Generation ad with a woman confessing to a priest about having “thoughts” about people like Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. “The New WWF: Put your faith in us.” I….kind of liked that one.

Bob Backlund vs. Gary Scott

This is crazy Bob who thinks he should still be WWF Champion because he didn’t give up in 1983. Backlund armdrags him down to start and does his little dance. Savage talks about using a thesaurus and dictionary as Backlund gets taken down as well. They get into a technical sequence and Bob takes over without breaking a sweat. A leg trip sets up the crossface chickenwing.

Bret thinks Backlund is insane and points out that he beat Backlund a few weeks back. He had his shot and it’s time to move on.

Overall Rating: C. Not the worst show and it’s amazing how much more of a focus this show feels like it has compared to earlier in the year. The wrestling isn’t great, but they’re telling some stories and I want to see where some of them go. You don’t get that enough in this era and a confident Bret on top is a huge help. Not a great show, but far better than most of what we get from 1994.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania II (2015): They’ve Got A Long Way To Go

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6