Impact Wrestling – May 8, 2014: Two At Once!

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 8, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Slammiversary is looming and Eric Young doesn’t have a challenger yet. The problem with having a champion that defends every week is you quickly run out of fresh matchups, so TNA is either going to have to turn someone or bring someone up the card in a hurry. Other than that we get to see Bully want to put Dixie through a table in about 19 segments tonight. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today Bully Ray was driving to Nashville at the TNA offices to find Dixie Carter, thereby complying with MVP’s wishes to not go after her at the Impact Zone.

We recap Eric Young defending the title every week.

Speaking of Eric, here he is in street clothes to get things going. He talks about how awesome the reign has been but there’s one hiccup. Eric promised to defend the title every week but since MVP hasn’t booked him in a match, he’s going to book himself in one. We have an open challenge for tonight and here’s Bobby Roode.

Bobby goes on a LONG rant about how great he is before Eric says that Roode got a shot last week and got pinned. Roode says it wasn’t fair because he had to wrestle twice last week and goes on another rant about their history together in Team Canada. If Young gives him another shot and wins, Roode will never ask for another match. Young says ok as this segment took about eight minutes longer than it needed to.

MVP tells Young that he can’t do that and suggests Young take a few weeks off. If Young will, MVP guarantees that his opponent at Slammiversary will be someone Young has never faced before.

Madison Rayne/Brittany vs. Beautiful People

Evening Gown match under elimination rules. The Beautiful People are in black and their opponents are in white to make sure the alignment is clear. Velvet and Angelina double team Brittany in the corner to start as they’re actually treating this like a real match so far. Brittany fights up and makes the tag off to Madison who does moves that make sure her skirt flies up. Madison can’t strip Velvet’s gown though, allowing Love to trip Brittany up so Velvet can strip her for an elimination as we take a break.

Back with Madison down 2-1 and getting double teamed. It doesn’t last long though as Madison fights off both girls and is able to quickly strip Velvet to get us down to one on one. Madison has control for a bit until Velvet flashes the referee, allowing Angelina to spray her in the face and get the win at 11:00.

Rating: D+. They looked good, this was barely wrestling, next.

Dixie is in a bad mood and walks away from Spud, who is in a leopard print coat.

We recap Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle.

Bram tells Magnus to become his old self again.

Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III

Angle goes after the arm to start but Ethan backs off. A snap suplex sets up the Rolling Germans to Ethan but Angle falls down holding his bad knee. Angle tries to fight back with a German suplex but the knee is just gone. Ethan gets in a quick chop block and pins Angle at 3:27.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the injury took up a good chunk of the match. I’ll give them points for keeping Ethan so strong and I kind of like not having Angle beat him with ease. It’s making Ethan look like a much bigger deal which is something TNA really needs to do.

After a break, Angle says he felt the knee pop.

Here’s MVP with something to say. He talks about how demanding this company is and how the fans are even more demanding. However, he can’t have Eric Young making his own matches because wrestlers are supposed to wrestle so TNA can abide. “And hey, the Dude abides right?” MVP says he has a major announcement about who Eric will face at Slammiversary but here’s Bobby Roode to interrupt. Roode says the same stuff he said to Eric and demands the title match tonight. MVP has the same reply that Eric did (you lost last week) and the brawl is on. The fans want to see it but referees break it up.

Bully is in Nashville but Spud says he’s not welcome here. Bully goes into her office anyway, yells at Spud for wearing green socks and sits in Dixie’s chair. He gets on the phone and tells the secretary to get the staff together for a meeting. Oh and a sandwich.

Knux and company are here. Rebel is in a rather revealing outfit and dancing with fire. A wooden crate comes up and Knux says it’s someone’s home.

Roode is ejected by security.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Bro Mans

It’s a ladder match and the challengers (Bro Mans) get a jobber entrance. Zema shoves the ladder over in the aisle to distract the champions, allowing the Bro Mans to jump them from behind with the ladder. Back inside and we get the bell but the Wolves are right there for the save. The Wolves load up the baseball slide into the ladder but the Bro Mans lift it up like a gate. The champions go back inside and set up a double suicide dive, only to hit the ladder faces first.

Jesse drops Davey chest first onto the barricade as the Bro Mans take over. They set up a ladder between the ring and some steps in the aisle but Davey escapes a suplex onto said ladder. All four climb a pair of ladders in the ring and a set of headbutts put all four back on the mat. Jesse makes a save by jumping up the ladder to stop Davey before Eddie suplexes Jesse over the top and out to the floor, only to fall out himself as well. Davey puts Robbie on the bridged ladder for the double stomp from the top as everyone is down again. The Wolves climb up, throw Zema over the top and onto the Bro Mans, and retain the belts at 7:00.

Rating: C+. There were some big spots in there but it’s another gimmick match that doesn’t really mean anything and doesn’t have the time to go anywhere because TNA flies through their shows as fast as they can. Much like the Ascension in NXT though, there aren’t many teams to challenge for the belts now and it’s going to get repetitive watching them beat up the Bro Mans over and over again.

Crazy Steve and the Freak (Rob Terry in a mask) break out of the crate.

Spud has lost Bully Ray.

Kazarian vs. Knux

The Menagerie is a carnival themed stable comprised of Knux, his good looking sister Rebel, two men on stilts, Crazy Steve (a clown) and the Freak (a masked muscle man). Kaz jumps Knux from behind to start but is easily thrown down. He does score with a top rope missile dropkick and a kick to the jaw but stops to yell at Crazy Steve. Kaz turns around and runs into the Freak, allowing Knux to throw him back into the ring. A Sky High powerbomb is enough for the pin on Kaz at 2:16.

Spud goes into the staff’s office and runs down Ray, only to turn around and see Ray behind him. Ray: “Get us a case of beer!” Spud: “It’s 11am!” Ray: “You’re right. Get us two.” Spud leaves and the staff says the new motto is Bully Fears Dixie. Ray has an idea of how to fix this.

As a result of the incidents last week, Anderson faces Storm next week.

Gunner tells Anderson that Storm is lying whenever he talks.

Dixie’s staff is now all drunk and in Bully Ray shirts. Spud panics and gets on the table to calm everything down. Ray says he’ll let Spud have the drones back if he tells Ray where Dixie is. Spud says he doesn’t know so Ray offers to leave if Spud will have one beer with him. Spud drinks it and gets powerbombed through a table. Ray steals his phone and gets Dixie’s address.

Willow talks about getting screwed over in the Dixieland match which started the evolution into what he is now. He wants revenge on Magnus.

Magnus vs. Willow

Willow gets jumped during his entrance as Bram looks on approvingly. A hard elbow drop gets two for the Brit but Willow fights up with a Whisper in the Wind and the flying forearm. The seated dropkick and mule kick put Magnus in the corner but he rolls outside. That’s fine for Willow as he kicks Magnus down and hits that sliding splash. As they head back inside though, Bram sends Willow into the steps for the DQ at 2:32.

Post match Willow is handcuffed to the ropes and attacked with a turnbuckle hook.

Angle has a broken bone in his leg and a torn ACL.

MVP calls out Eric for the announcement of the Slammiversary opponent. The boss asks the fans to cheer for the champ and says there’s nothing Eric can’t accomplish. He says Eric deserves the best competition there is, so here’s the opponent. Eric looks at the stage and MVP lays him out with a chain around his fist. He says he’ll see Eric at Slammiversary to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked tonight’s show for the most part but there are still problems. First of all they are setting up stuff for the future, but at the end of the day it’s still for Eric Young defending against the latest heel power figure. Actually he’s one of two current heel power figures as Ray is off in Nashville chasing after Dixie. That being said, there was some interesting stuff here and some fresh matches, so the good outweighs the bad. I just really hope the MVP stuff doesn’t dominate the show, which is about as stupid of a hope as I can have at this point.

Results
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Brittany – Love ripped off Madison’s dress
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Chop block
Wolves b. Bro Mans – Wolves pulled down the belts
Knux b. Kazarian – Sky High
Willow b. Magnus via DQ when Bram interfered
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Impact Wrestling – May 1, 2014: Someone Give TNA A Speeding Ticket

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 1, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Sacrifice was this past Sunday and not a lot has changed. Given the card though, that’s not really a big surprise. The next PPV is in June which sounds far better than having it May when TNA won’t be ready for another show. Other than that there really isn’t anything set up as Young is still champion and beat Magnus clean, meaning he needs a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with Bully Ray spray painting something on a table.

Eric Young talks about how real it is that he’s still champion and goes into MVP’s office. The boss congratulates him on his win and says Eric can prove his worth every week. That’s cool with Eric so here are Gunner, Mr. Anderson and Bobby Roode. They’ll draw cards from a deck. The lower two cards will face off and the winner faces the high card, with the winner of that getting a World Title shot. Anderson and Gunner tie while Roode gets an ace, meaning it’s Anderson vs. Gunner first and the winner faces Roode for the title shot. This is all tonight apparently.

Here’s Magnus with something to say. He isn’t cool with not being in the World Title competition tonight and demands that MVP come out here and explain that decision. Instead he gets Abyss through the crowd. The brawl is on and Abyss lays Magnus out with a chokeslam. He pulls out a chair as the fans want Janice. They get what they want but Magnus bails. The announcers play up the idea that Abyss may not have a contract, despite him getting a World Title shot two weeks ago.

Here’s Ray with a table and holding his ribs. He holds the table up and it says DIXIE. Ray says he might not be as big and fat as he used to be but he can promise one thing: if he sees Dixie in this building tonight, she’s going through that table.

Dixie arrives and has nothing to say.

In the back Spud tried to hide Dixie but she’s not afraid.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

Winner faces Roode later tonight for a title shot. Feeling out process to start as they trade some headlocks. Gunner’s advantage doesn’t last long as Anderson shoves him off and puts on a headlock of his own. A hammerlock doesn’t work all that well for Mr. either so he hooks another headlock. Gunner catches a charging Anderson in a fall away slam but James Storm interferes because the feud isn’t over yet. Storm gets knocked to the floor before accidentally kicking Anderson in the back of the head, allowing Gunner to hit an F5 for the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C-. This was a lot of stalling before the finish, but hopefully this transitions to Anderson vs. Storm, because Gunner vs. Storm has been dead and buried for well over a month. I also like that they making the transition naturally instead of just shoving it down our throats because the script calls for it.

Magnus comes in to see someone who looks like former NXT talent Kenneth Cameron. Back from a break and that’s who it seems to be, though he’s going by Bram here. They seem to know each other and Bram wants Magnus to get back to his roots. A fight nearly breaks out but Bram says he’s here for Magnus’ own good.

Ethan Carter III is in the ring and says he’s facing Kurt Angle in the ring next week. Fans: “WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND???” Tonight Ethan is going to have an exhibition with Rockstar Spud. They grapple around for a bit with Ethan of course getting the better of it. Ethan tells Spud to assume the position so Spud gets on all fours. Carter: “That’s a little too much position.” This brings out Angle who says that was stupid. Next week Carter will be facing a new Kurt Angle. It’s one that’s out for blood and revenge because Carter has ticked him off. Next week, the undefeated streak ends.

We see Rebel and Knux’s segment from Sunday, saying they’ll be here with two of their friends named The Freak and Crazy Steve next week.

Bobby Roode vs. Gunner

Winner faces Young tonight for the World Title. Roode takes him down into the corner and stomps away to start but Gunner fights back with power and a backdrop for two. Roode sends him out to the floor and into the steps as he takes over. Back in and Gunner charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit a double arm crank.

A dropkick to the ribs puts Gunner down again but he comes back with ax handles to the chest. Gunner hits a running knee to the chest and loads up the F5, only to be raked in the eyes. Roode’s O’Connor Roll is blocked and Gunner grabs a DDT for two. The Roode Bomb is countered and Gunner hits a slingshot suplex, only to walk into the Roode Bomb for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: C-. The time hurt it here but more than that it’s a waste of a story. This could have been the second week of a competition to set up Young’s challenger but this is TNA so we have to do everything at a million miles an hour while making sure Dixie Carter gets to be on TV every week. It’s rather annoying but it’s the way things work here.

The Beautiful People get a letter saying their clothes are inappropriate. Angelina’s solution: put on evening gowns and strip them off.

Here’s Dixie with security to set up the table with her name on it in the ring. She brags about putting Ray through a table and injuring his ribs in the process. Ray needs to be afraid of Dixie, but here’s the Bully to disagree. The fans want to see her go through a table and Ray likes the idea as well. He tells security to get out of his way because they all want to see her go through a table. They actually listen, only leaving three guards for Dixie. Ray charges the ring and throws them all off before loading up the powerbomb. This brings out MVP, who says both of them are suspended from the Impact Zone for this. Ok then.

Willow vs. James Storm

Storm hammers away to start but Willow escapes the Eye of the Storm and hits a few dropkicks to take over. A mule kick sends Storm into the corner and a cartwheel into a right hand to the jaw drops him down. There’s the slingshot dropkick followed by a Twisting Stunner to send Storm outside. Willow slides through the ropes and drops an elbow to the ribs in a nice move. Storm is stood up next to the barricade for Poetry in Motion off the steps. Willow gets a chair but misses a running Fameasser onto the steps with it to put him down on the floor. Storm pulls out the beer bottle and shoves the referee for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. This was setting up stuff for the future it seems, which is fine given that they’re coming off of a PPV. Still though, it’s not the most interesting stuff in the world. Willow is only so interesting after they keep shouting that it’s Jeff Hardy week after week, but it’s better than the same guy every week.

Post match Willow hits Storm with the umbrella and stalks him up the ramp, right into a Mic Check from Anderson.

The Bro Mans and Zema blame MVP for losing their titles so he uts them in a six man tag against the Wolves and a surprise partner. The three of them leave and Ray comes in to yell at MVP. He says he gave MVP the job at Lockdown but MVP shouts him down and suggests that Ray do something outside of the arena.

Eric Young says there’s history between him and Roode, but he knows Roode better than anyone.

Zema Ion/Bro Mans vs. Wolves/Sanada

It’s a brawl to start with the Wolves LAUNCHING Ion over the top onto the Bro Mans. They howl, setting up a double suicide dive followed by a plancha from Sanada to take out Zema. Back inside and Robbie’s chops have no effect on anyone as he’s left all alone. Jesse and Ion get back up to take Eddie down as the heels get their first advantage. Edwards nips back up though and enziguris Ion down.

The Bro Mans are sent to the floor again and it’s hot tag to Richards to clean house. Ion is thrown into the air for a kick to the ribs as Tenay announces Bro Mans vs. Wolves for the titles next week in a ladder match. The Bro Mans come back in to break up a cover but it’s a tag off to Sanada as Ion is left alone 3-1. All three good guys go up top, setting up the stomp from Edwards, a moonsault from Sanada and another stomp from Richards for the pin at 3:39.

Rating: C. Now THAT was a squash. I’m not sure what it sets up for the future as Ion got destroyed and Richards beat up the Bro Mans on his own, but at least it was entertaining at the moment. To be fair though, I don’t think TNA knows how to think more than a week in advance anyway so it’s not right to criticize them for it.

Here are the Beautiful People in evening gowns with Angelina saying they’re going to take it all off. They start but stop almost immediately because the people don’t deserve it. This brings out Gail Kim who says they’re making a mockery of the division. She’s going to make sure the Beautiful People get stripped and the attack is on. Velvet bails and Angelina escapes a few seconds later. Gail gets the belt as Madison Rayne and Brittany sneak up and rip the gowns off the Beautiful People.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Roode gets a jobber entrance. Feeling out process to start with Young grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. A dropkick staggers Roode and we take our last break. Back with Roode sending him over the top and out to the floor before a whip sends him into the steps. Roode throws him back in and puts on a seated full nelson. Eric fights back up and takes out a cameraman by mistake before nailing a belly to belly.

Roode bails to the floor and gets taken down by a suicide dive. Back in and Bobby grabs a quick spinebuster for two before the piledriver gets the same for Young. The Roode Bomb gets two as well and they slug it out with the champion taking over. Roode nails an enziguri but can’t hit a Roode Bomb out of the corner. Instead Eric shoves him to the mat and hits the top rope elbow for the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C. Eric getting clean wins over former world champions is a good idea for him with the emphasis on the word clean. I was sick of seeing those title matches with seven or eight people running in and it’s so nice to see a decent wrestling match to close out the show for the title. Not a great match and it should have been given more build, but this worked well enough.

Ray is in the back and says he’s going to Nashville.

Overall Rating: C-. The show set up some interesting stuff for the future, but at the same time all of the old problems were present. First and foremost, TNA feels the need to go through everything they can as fast as they can without letting their stories grow. The Roode vs. Young match could have been interesting but instead they decided to set it up with two matches and do the title match in the span of two hours. How is that supposed to draw an audience when the thing is over by the time they hear about it?

Ray vs. Dixie doesn’t do anything for me as I can’t imagine we’ll ever see the payoff of Dixie going through a table, unless they pull a surprise in New York. The rest of the feuds weren’t bad, but I have a bad feeling they’re just setting up another set of three month feuds that go on WAY too long and wear out their welcome. TNA needs to find a neutral pace and stick with it because this is getting old fast.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson – F5
Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Roode Bomb
Willow b. James Storm via DQ when Storm shoved the referee
Wolves/Sanada b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Top rope double stomp to Ion
Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 17, 2014: Here He Is, Ready Or Not

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
 
There’s a big story for once in TNA as Eric Young won the World Title last week in TNA’s Daniel Bryan storyline. The problem with that is Eric is best known as a comedy character, so it’s hard to say where he’s going. In theory we’re setting up Eric vs. Magnus II at Sacrifice but there’s no telling with this company. Let’s get to it.

 
We open with the new champion who gets a quick YOU DESERVE IT chant. Young talks about how this is the culmination of several years of hard work but here’s Dixie Carter to interrupt. She says that she’s seen all of the potential in Eric Young over the years and brings up the DON’T FIRE ERIC bit from several years back. It was Dixie that allowed him to stay and she’s the one that came up with the beard. Dixie wants royalties from all of the money made off the beards at the moment.
 
Young says he thought Bully Ray packed Dixie up and sent her back to Nashville. We now have MVP to keep things going but Dixie says she has authority over the title because she’s President of the company. For better or worse, Eric is the hood ornament for the 2014 Dixie Carter Ferrari. This is of course different from being Face of the WWE. Eric hopes there are bags in the car, because being close to her for that long is going to make him sick.
 
Young says if she’s looking for a paper champion she’s looking in the wrong place. He’s going to get in the General Lee (old TV car) and run her over. Dixie asks if he’s trying to get hashtag Throwback Thursday going with that dated reference. First up though, Eric needs a makeover. Eric says no but here’s Bully Ray to interrupt anyway.
 
Ray apologizes to Eric but wants to know how many people are sick of Dixie. Young is a role model for every wrestler who has been held down by a loser boss like Dixie. He brings up last week where there was a table between the two of them and says this is their domain. Ray starts up the Goodbye Song and Dixie leaves in shame. Bully endorses Eric as World Champion as someone he respects and likes.
 
Velvet vs. Madison Rayne
 
Street fight. The villains wait on Rayne/Brittan with kendo sticks but Rayne sneaks in from behind and jumps her to get us going. They get inside and exchange some whips into the corner until Madison runs Velvet over with a shoulder. Angelina asks for a time out for her partner but uses the distraction for a double Stunner over the top rope to put Madison in trouble.
 
A trashcan lid to the back gets two for Velvet and it’s back to the floor with Angelina getting in some cheap shots. They quickly head back inside and Love hands Velvet a trashcan, only to have Madison kick it into her ribs. Angelina offers another distraction but Madison ducks underneath and hits what looked like a running punch to the ribs which mostly missed and was called a spear for the pin at 4:32.
 
Rating: D. This wasn’t much to see as TNA continues to throw out gimmick matches with no real rhyme or reason and give them five minutes so they go nowhere. The Beautiful People vs. Madison really isn’t working for me yet as much like almost every other feud in the division, we’ve seen this before. I’m not feeling this feud for the most part though.
 
Eric Young thanks Bully for his praise but Bully says he’s off to Rick’s Cabaret to spend the rest of Dixie’s money. Abyss comes in and asks Eric for a title match tonight. Eric says he can’t say no and wants to make it Monster’s Ball.
 
Spud is looking for Dixie but runs into Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan says they have a problem named Jeff Hardy. Hardy took them into a shack in the woods and they have to deal with it now. Tonight it’s a handicap match against Willow, but Ethan says they’re handicappers. Ethan handicapped Kurt Angle and tonight they’ll handicap Willow. They fire each other up and say to follow each other before going in different directions. Spud turns around and says he’ll follow Ethan.
 
MVP is in the ring in a very fast turn around. He talks about a man showing up last week after ten years and winning the World Title, so let’s have a hand for Eric Young. Lost in the big fray though was the name Samoa Joe. MVP didn’t care to hear about Joe being disgruntled and not showing up, especially when Joe has MVP’s phone number. We get an interruption but it’s the returning Austin Aries.
 
Aries says he’s as disgruntled as anyone because he’s been on the sidelines since Lockdown and no one has seemed to miss him. MVP likes to motivate people but Aries has never needed any sort of motivation. Not being called for six weeks is all the movitation he could ever want though. MVP won’t validate Aries by putting him in the ten man gauntlet last week, so now Aries wants to participate.
 
The boss says Aries didn’t respect MVP when he screwed him over a few weeks back to join Team Roode. They tease a fight but MVP says this is about the fans and not Aries or MVP. The jacket comes off but Aries raises him a shirt. They’re about to fight but Aries says next week. He won’t trade fists with a convicted felon but next week he’ll show MVP why he’s the best wrestler in the world.
 
Eric Young video.
 
Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves
 
This is the actual match after Robbie E. interfered last week. We get the Zema Ion intro to make this feel a bit bigger. The Wolves knock the champions off the apron to start and a sliding dropkick to Robbie’s head is good for two. Robbie gets double teamed to start and a jackknife cover gets two for Davey. Richards drives Robbie back first into the apron but Jesse shake the ropes to crotch him on the top.
 
Jesse throws on a chinlock before hitting a quick gorilla press on Davey. Robbie adds a middle rope elbow for two but heel miscommunication allows Richards to make the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie fires off chops in the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. The throw into the chest kick drops Jesse and the double stomps off the top crush Robbie, but Zema runs in for the DQ at 4:57.
 
Rating: C-. This would be a much better story if the Wolves hadn’t won the titles yet. It didn’t mean much, but having them finally take the belts off the Bro Mans instead of doing a quick change and then another in Japan would have worked better as a payoff. You could see the Zema interference coming as well.
 
Willow says Spud and Carter remind him of dirty sheets. He’ll rise victorious tonight.
 
We see Eric talking about how this is what a World Champion looks like and this is the face of a champion. He nearly cries in an emotional moment. This would work better if you couldn’t hear Madison Rayne’s entrance in the background.
 
Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud
 
No tagging to start but Willow cleans house and the referee puts Spud on the apron. Willow elbows Carter down and gets two off an elbow drop, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up. Carter avoids a charge in the corner and chokes away a bit before it’s off to Spud. Willow bites the ankle to escape and it’s back to Ethan for a hard slam and a chinlock. A running flip neckbreaker gets two on Willow but he quickly fights back with a Twist of Fate to Carter. Another one to Spud is enough for the pin at 4:32.
 
Rating: D+. Not much to see here as Spud isn’t working due to it just being Jeff Hardy with a loud laugh. Spud is also much better as a character than an in ring worker. It also doesn’t help that Spud and Carter have lost every single match in the feud so far, so we’re just spinning our wheels.
 
Carter goes after Willow’s knee but Kurt Angle makes the save. Post match Angle says he’ll retire on his own terms. Kurt wants a match against Carter one on one and Ethan will learn why Angle is called the Cyborg. He’ll take his time too so Carter is taken out in a body bag.
 
Bobby Roode promises to put Bully through a table at Sacrifice but tonight there’s an open challenge for a tables match.
 
Video on Sanada.
 
Kenny King is tired of being on the bench and says you don’t put an All Star on the bench. Tonight he’s doing commentary.
 
Tigre Uno vs. Sanada
 
This is the second match in the best of three series for Sanada’s X Title with Tigre Uno down 1-0. Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting the advantage. Sanada scores with a dropkick and they flip around to escape a test of strength. Tigre avoids a charge in the corner but misses a springboard splash. Sanada comes back with a springboard chop to the head and a TKO gets two. Tigre comes back by avoiding a charge and a Sabretooth Splash is enough for the pin at 3:26.
 
Rating: C. Two guys flying around before they get to the rubber match for the title. There really isn’t anything else to say here as there’s no significant backstory between them. Again, such is life in TNA. Not that it matters as King is likely going to take the title from the winner.
 
Bully gives an unseen person a pep talk before the tables match.
 
Bobby Roode vs. Gunner
 
It’s a tables match of course. A quick bulldog drops Gunner and it’s already table time. Gunner comes back with a baseball slide to stop the table before sending Roode into the steps. Gunner no sells being rammed into the corner but Bobby nails a Blockbuster. The table is set up in the ring but Rooe can’t powerbomb him through.
 
Gunner nails a running knee to the face but walks into a bad looking spinebuster. Roode escapes an F5 but gets headbutted onto the table. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle a few times, only to have James Storm make a save. It’s enough for Roode to slam Gunner onto the table befor ethe Roode Bomb is enough to break the table for the win at 6:15.
 
Rating: C-. Nothing special to see here but the gimmick matches are getting really old in a hurry, especially when it’s to set up another gimmick match at the PPV. I’m already getting numb to seeing all of these matches with different rules all over the place as they’re taking the place of regular matches.
 
Bully Ray saves Gunner from a beatdown.
 
Some wrestlers talk about Eric Young winning the title.
 
Eric looks at weapons and says this was his idea because he’s the World Champion.
 
Post break Ray suggests teaming up with Gunner against Beer Money with Gunner accepting.
 
TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Abyss
 
Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes and of course Eric is defending. Eric throws a trashcan full of weapons into the ring to start and hits fifteen right hands to the head in the corner. Abyss comes back with a quick chokeslam attempt before launching the champion over the corner and out to the floor. Young fights back and heads inside, only to dive into a trashcan to the head as we go to a break.
 
Back with Abyss wedging a chair in the corner but Eric comes back with some big right hands and a running dropkick. Abyss catapults him into the chair to take over again before bringing in the bag of tacks. Young saves himself with a cheese grater to the groin and a running forearm to put Abyss down. Abyss pulls out Janice but it gets caught in the turnbuckle to avoid a bad case of death.
 
Eric kicks him low and gets Janice out of the buckle, only to be chokeslammed down onto the tacks. It’s barbed wire board time (because you just have that under the ring in case a Monster’s Ball match is booked on the fly) but Young escapes another chokeslam attempt with a bite of the fingers. A dropkick sends Abyss onto the board and the top rope elbow retains the title at 12:02.
 
Rating: C. Nowhere near as good as the same match from a few weeks ago but it wasn’t bad. This was designed to give Young his first big match and Heaven forbid you save this for the pay per view or anything. That’s another rant for another time though as I’ve complained about TNA having no idea how to advertise more times than I can count. Fine match but it’s nothing we haven’t seen done better like a month ago.
 
Overall Rating: D+. TNA is starting to slip again as there’s just not much of interest at the moment. Tonight was basically them saying: “here’s Eric Young. Love him or hate him, we’re pushing the heck out of him.” The problem with that is a lot of fans are going to get annoyed that a guy they perceive as a comedy player is now the focal point of the show.
 
Other than that I’m getting tired of the gimmick overload. Tonight we had five matches and one was a regular match. You could say the handicap match is a gimmick match as well, but even if you don’t there were three gimmick matches tonight. That’s just overkill on a two hour show and it got old fast.
 
Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Spear
Wolves b. Bro Mans via DQ when Zema Ion interfered
Willow b. Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III – Twist of Fate to Spud
Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Roode Bomb through a table
Eric Young b. Abyss – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 10, 2014: Copying Wrestlemania Isn’t A Bad Idea

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Dixie Carter is back tonight. Let’s all just take a minute to prepare ourselves for this. You can almost feel the power struggle starting from here. Officially she still has some power in TNA as she runs the behind the scenes stuff as opposed to MVP running the on camera stuff. Tonight is all about her wrath, which means it’s time for some bad acting. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Warrior.

Dixie Carter arrives and has something planned for tonight.

There’s a ten man gauntlet tonight for the title shot at Sacrifice.

MVP says Magnus successfully defended his title against three men last week but tonight he finds out his next challenger. Samoa Joe won’t be one of the entrants because he’s “not available.”

Gauntlet Match

It’s basically a ten man Royal Rumble. James Storm is #1 and Gunner is #2 and of course the brawl is on in the aisle. They get inside with Gunner avoiding a middle rope ax handle and taking him into the corner for a stomping. Storm is in even more trouble until Bobby Roode comes in at #3 to give him a breather. Beer Money reunites for a bit but Gunner shrugs off the ten rams into the top turnbuckle. Bully Ray is #4 and cleans house as you would expect him to. A double suplex has no effect though and he clotheslines Beer Money down.

Gunner and Ray load up What’s Up to Storm but Roode makes the save Ethan Carter III comes in at #5 to give the heels an advantage. Ray shrugs everything off and chops away but Roode punches him down in the corner. No one has been eliminated yet. Carter and Roode try to toss Ray until Bobby Lashley is in at #6. The big man cleans house and hammers on all the heels until Gunner, Ray and Bobby have a three way standoff. That goes nowhere and they keep beating up the villains.

Abyss is #7 and cleans house but Ray tries to toss him. Magnus comes out for commentary as we take a break. Back with Sanada having entered and Eric Young entering at I believe #9. No eliminations yet. Everyone fights against the ropes and teases a few eliminations but no one is really close. Willow is #10 and we get a showdown with Carter. A Twisting Stunner has Carter in trouble as Spud wheelchairs down to ringside, only to pop up and pull Willow down for the elimination.

Abyss chokeslams Sanada and throws him out but walks into a spear from Lashley. Roode throws the bald Bobby out though, only to get tossed by Ray. We’re down to Ray, Gunner, Storm, Carter, Abyss and Young. Ray is about to go off on Carter but Roode trips him up, allowing Carter to throw him out and get us down to five. Storm nails a superkick to Gunner and easily throws him out.

The three heels team up on Young but he skins the cat and eliminates Carter on the way back in. Abyss lays him out again though and the double teaming continues. Eric trips both of them up though and actually hits the top rope elbow on Abyss. Storm takes him right back down with the Backstabber though, followed by an Orton Elevated DDT. The Last Call misses though and Young throws him out. Abyss hits Shock Treatment on Eric but can’t get him out. Young fights back with some right hands and an ax handle, followed by a clothesline for the win and title shot at 26:21.

Rating: D+. ERIC YOUNG? This is the guy they’re giving a title match to? Not Gunner, Ray, Joe, or ANYONE ELSE??? They have like five PPVs a year and the guy who was doing a Dr. Frankenstein gimmick earlier in the year is getting one of the main event slots? He’s more bearable when he’s serious but my goodness this matches my head hurt.

Eric calls out MVP post match. The boss comes out after a break and Eric says he does a great job. Young isn’t a doctor but since this is live TV, anything can happen. What MVP just saw was Eric earning a title shot. This is live TV though and Eric is feeling crazy. He wants his title shot TONIGHT. MVP asks if he’s sure and says it’s on. Magnus says that’s fine because everything abides by his rules. MVP says there are no Magnus Rules in effect, meaning the title changes hands on a countout or DQ and Abyss is banned from ringside. If anyone interferes, they’re fired on the spot.

Spud, in a jacket that looks like it was involved in an explosion at a paint factory, has a surprise party for Dixie. She tells him to tone it down and accuses Spud of selling her down the river. Dixie leaves but as Spud follows her out, Willow invades the room and cleans house.

Angelina Love vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim vs. Brittany

The winner gets Madison at Sacrifice for the title. It’s a brawl to start with the girls pairing off in the corners. Gail and Angelina start double teaming Brittany but get in an argument over who gets the pin. Brittany fights back and cleans house until ODB comes back in and runs everyone over. Angelina takes a Bronco Buster but Gail kicks ODB down. Brittany hits a handspring moonsault for no cover on ODB but walks into a Downward Spiral from Love. Eat Defeat doesn’t work and Velvet sprays hairspray in Gail’s eyes, setting up a Brogue Kick from Angelina for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Well that was….obvious. Angelina has been feuding with Madison for weeks now so the match at the PPV is the logical progression of the story. It wasn’t anything to see but Brittany got to show off a little bit. I’m still not wild on the Beautiful People reunion as we’ve covered just about everything they can do.

Dixie comes in to see MVP and mocks some of the stuff he’s done lately. Apparently MVP stands for Massive Violation of Power. She says all of this is because of one disgruntled wrestler and she’ll take care of him tonight. Dixie wants him in the front row for her moment tonight.

Robbie E.’s flight is canceled but MVP thinks Jesse and Zema should defend the titles against the Wolves tonight unless Robbie can make it here by bell time.

We recap Eric getting a title shot tonight.

Magnus thinks Eric is making a huge mistake.

Here’s Dixie for her big moment. She immediately calls out Bully, drawing a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Ray comes out and the fans want him to put Dixie through a table. He thanks her for being around this week but Dixie talks about Roode suckering him into an attack a few weeks ago. Dixie rubs it in that Roode put Ray through three tables last week before ranting about him costing her the company.

Ray says this is the fans’ company and the wrestlers’ company but never Dixie’s company. They talk over each other a lot until Dixie says she wants her money back for Ray not doing his job. Ray says he’s spent it on a new car and at Rick’s Cabaret in New York. “You’d like it. They’ve got a lot of wine, women and song. A lot of women actually.”

Ray loads up his catchphrase but Dixie slaps the mic out of his hand. She’s from DALLAS, TEXAS and is responsible for every check that comes out of the company. Dixie slaps him in the face but Roode jumps Ray from behind. They load up a table but Ray fights back, only to have Roode bail from a powerbomb. Ray stares Dixie down and we take a break.

Post break Magnus wants to know what Dixie is doing. She says she’s going to her hotel, having a glass of wine and going to bed. Magnus calls her a typical woman and Dixie yells about him having an insurance policy before leaving.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

The Wolves are challenging. Eddie chops Jesse to start but Davey (now with a blond mohawk on top of his regular hair) makes a blind tag and double teams Jesse down. Zema snaps Davey’s throat across the top rope to give the champions control. The Wolves send the champions outside and hit stereo suicide dives to take them down again.

Back inside and Jesse slips in a knee from the apron to stagger Eddie, only to have him catch both of them in a hurricanrana at the same time. Hot tag brings in Davey to clean house with kicks and suplexes. A missile dropkick gets two on Godderz and the toss into the kick looks to get the pin, but Robbie E. runs in for the DQ at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this time the ending was somewhat in doubt. I actually thought they might change the titles here, which would have been a bit too early with the PPV coming up in a few weeks. The Wolves are the best team in the company and having them chase the titles for a few months is a good idea.

Christy is going to shock us with something about Samuel Shaw tonight. She wants to talk to him in the ring about commitment.

Here’s Christy to the ring to invite Samuel for a chat. She insists that he’s not creepy and says this whole thing is complicated. Shaw says he’s the love of her life and she agrees. Christy asks if he trusts her and she rubs her hands over his face. She wants to know if Shaw would go anywhere she asks him to go but he just slowly rips off his glove. Christy makes some rather suggestive noises and tells him to close his eyes.

A van with the words Psychiatric Services shows up on screen and of course Anderson pops out. He comes into the arena and rubs his hands behind Shaw’s back before laying him out with a Mic Check. The fans chant funny farm and Anderson chucks him over the top. He crawls towards Christy but Anderson chucks him into the van in the back. Shaw pops out and runs away though, making this whole segment pretty worthless.

Willow blames Carter and Spud for costing him the gauntlet match and wants a handicap match next week.

Impact is coming to New York City in June.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Magnus

Eh why not. It worked at Wrestlemania XXX. Young scores with a quick dropkick and flips over the corner before strutting down the apron. Apparently Young has a bad arm coming into this to really hammer in the similarities. Magnus avoids a charge into the corner and sends Eric out to the floor with a big running knee. Back in and Eric sends Magnus to the floor, only to get nailed as he tries a suicide dive.

Magnus sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with the champion getting two off a gutwrench suplex and we hit a sleeper on Young. Eric is quickly out of the hold but gets caught in a camel clutch to work on the back as well as the bad arm. Young powers up into an electric chair and both guys are down. Back up and some forearms and a clothesline drop Magnus. The arm seems fine at the moment. Eric tries a wheelbarrow slam into a neckbreaker but mostly drops Magnus on the way down.

The top rope elbow gets two and Magnus nails the Michinoku Driver for the same. He brings the belt into the ring but the referee takes it away. Young loads up a Death Valley Driver but gets hit low for two. Magnus is livid and gets caught in a crucifix for two. Eric comes back with a piledriver for the pin and the title at 13:05.

Rating: C. Eric Young is the TNA World Champion. Yes it’s a blatant ripoff of Daniel Bryan on Sunday, but Eric Young hasn’t earned the spot like Bryan has. He’s a comedy guy that has kept a job for a long time. That doesn’t mean he should be the World Champion. I’m assuming this doesn’t make it past Sacrifice, but I’ve only been able to tolerate Young for this many years. Having him as World Champion is too far for me.

Overall Rating: C. The ending just doesn’t do it for me as I’ve already explained. The rest of the show wasn’t bad, but this is the kind of show you need to build up to. I get that they needed to do everything in one night, but let us know in advance that this is coming. The Dixie stuff didn’t do anything for me but it’s probably continuing over the next few weeks. The wrestling was ok tonight but this is a very questionable way to use a story like this.

Results

Eric Young won a gauntlet match last eliminating Abyss

Angelina Love b. Brittany, ODB and Gail Kim – Bicycle kick to Kim

Wolves b. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz via DQ when Robbie E. interfered

Eric Young b. Magnus – Piledriver

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 20, 2014: What Does A Yellow Light Mean?

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 20, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The big story coming out of last week is the seemingly face Bully Ray destroying all of the former Team Roode (minus A Double). It also seems that Willow is the dark side of Jeff Hardy and will allow Hardy to get revenge on people that have hurt him in very un-Jeff like ways. As for tonight, the main story is Joe vs. Magnus II with Eric Young and Abyss chained together at ringside. Let’s get to it.

We open with Eric Young trying to fight Abyss in the back. It goes badly for the small man until ODB tries to make a save with a pipe. That also goes as well as you would expect but Eric comes back with a trashcan to the back. The brawl continues as they head further into the back and Eric is sent through some chairs. Young finds a chain and whips Abyss into the arena until they get to ringside with Abyss taking over.

Eric dives into the ring and hits a suicide dive but he can’t follow up. Abyss hammers on him again and takes Young inside where he sets up a chair. Young gets slammed face first onto the chair in a sick looking crash. Abyss goes for the chain but Young bites him in the head and hammers away but charges into a Black Hole Slam. Just hurting Young isn’t enough so Abyss wraps the chain around Young’s throat and chokes him out on the ropes.

Bobby Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

This is joined in progress after a break. Ethan has some flashier gear now with red and blue trunks and white boots. Lashley runs him over with a hard shoulder block and drops Carter with a suplex. Ethan gets pummeled in the corner but avoids a charge to put Lashley in some trouble. It’s short lived though as Lashley slams Ethan off the top.

Carter comes back with some right hands in the corner but gets run over by raw power again. Lashley loads up the spear but Carter bails to the floor. Another clothesline drops him out there but he’s able to get in the referee’s face long enough to kick Lashley low. Carter tries to walk out on the match but Willow jumps him for the DQ at 5:47.

Rating: D+. The chemistry here didn’t work but it wasn’t horrible. Lashley is a guy that could be a huge deal for TNA if he’s used right. However, being used as a guy to keep Ethan Carter III busy until Willow can attack him isn’t the right use of him. The match just kept going until we got to the ending segment, which wasn’t the most entertaining way to kill six minutes.

Jeff loads up the Pillmanizer on the ankle via the ladder but Ethan gets away. Lashley doesn’t seem to mind Willow costing him a match.

Bully Ray is outside Dixie Carter’s office in Nashville as she called him there for a meeting.

Joe comes in to see MVP and vent some frustrations. He blames MVP for the title loss at Lockdown and thinks MVP has cost him the match tonight by letting Young get taken out. MVP promises to find someone to take Eric’s place tonight.

Angelina Love thinks Velvet has had enough time to make a decision so it’s time to find out where she stands.

Ethan yells at Magnus for not having his back and terminates the Carters’ business relationship with the champ. Magnus doesn’t care because he got everything he needed out of Dixie. All he needs is Abyss and Joe will find that out tonight.

Gunner comes out and says he’s proud of what he did at Lockdown. He went to war with one of the toughest men in this company and came out on top. He’s also proud of serving this country and for all of the men and women that served with him. The Marines taught him to never give up and his dad taught him the same thing. Gunner’s dad is in the front row and Gunner thanks him for everything he’s done. They hug and here’s James Storm for an interruption.

Storm thinks he should get an introduction to Gunner’s dad but Papa Gunner doesn’t seem too enthusiastic. James goes off on Gunner for crying on the video about Gunner a few weeks back. Gunner’s grandfather must be glad that he’s dead to see his son and grandson become huge disappointments. Gunner snaps but takes the Last Call. Storm handcuffs Gunner’s arms to the ropes and goes after his dad with a beer bottle to the head.

We immediately cut to Gail Kim saying if Tapa doesn’t win tonight, she’s gone for good.

The Bro Mans and Zema talk about going to a club last night before going in to see Sanada and Tigre Uno. There’s a language barrier but Zema has wrestled in Mexico and Japan so he speaks lucha libre and strong style. Apparently Sanada and Tigre think the Bro Mans are awesome and agree to lay down in two minutes. That’s Zema’s translation at least.

Gail Kim vs. Lei’D Tapa

If Tapa loses she’s gone because Gail says so. Tapa sends Gail across the ring to start before catching her in a spinebuster. Gail counters a powerbomb into a modified dragon sleeper but Tapa powers out. Kim gets slammed face first onto the mat but gets up at two. Some kicks to the leg have Tapa in trouble and Eat Defeat is enough for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: D. Thank goodness she’s gone. Tapa just wasn’t that good and didn’t need to be around at all. I’m not a huge Gail fan but this is the better decision to be sure. The newer Knockouts like Tapa haven’t worked for the most part but Brittany seems to be a step in the right direction. Bad match, but that’s about the norm for Tapa.

Willow loudly says he has no issues in playing games with MVP over the title match, so he won’t chain himself to Abyss. Why try to change when you can embrace the confusion?

Here’s Angelina to ask Velvet for an answer. Velvet thanks Angelina for being a mentor but doesn’t like the idea of being a follower to Angelina’s leadership. Angelina says it was just because she was the veteran and praises Sky for the success she had while Angelina was gone. Love says one is a lonely number but Sky isn’t sure about trusting someone after the drama with Sabin. Then she says the team is back together and they hug.

Angelina says hang on because we need the third piece. She invites Madison Rayne to the ring but Rayne doesn’t seem too thrilled. Angelina introduces all three http://onhealthy.net/product-category/weight-loss/ names and Madison sees the problem: she doesn’t want to be the third girl that the others brought in as a favor. Love tries to get her to change her mind but Madison says she’s out.

Magnus isn’t worried about the title match tonight because he has Abyss. He may be a monster but even monsters react to money. Joe comes up and says he’ll make Magnus tap tonight. Al Snow comes in and breaks it up before things go too far.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Bro Mans are defending. Before the Wolves arrive, the champions try to get Tigre Uno and Sanada to lay down but Tigre says no and the champs are knocked to the floor. The Wolves show up and jump the Bro Mans but the other challengers hit baseball slides to the Bro Mans out as we take a break. Back with everything breaking down until it’s Davey grabbing a rollup on Sanada for two. Off to Eddie as the Wolves rapid fire kicks and chops to put Sanada against the ropes.

Tigre breaks up a double charge and Sanada is almost immediately back up with no apparent damage. Robbie tags himself in but Eddie rams him head first into Davey as the Wolves stay in control. Tigre comes in to face Robbie and walks into a clothesline as the champions take over. Jesse comes in and gorilla presses Tigre as Zema plays sound effects. Robbie gets two off a knee drop but Tigre comes back with a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog.

A double tag brings in Sanada to work over Jesse but Zema grabs the X-Division Title for a qiuck photo op. Sanada dives on Zema, leaving Tigre to climb the ropes and armdrag Davey down. A powerbomb/Backstabber combo from the Wolves gets two on Tigre but the Bro Mans make the save and hit the Bro Down on Tigre for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual insane three way but it did its job well. It’s nice to see the Bro Mans get the win after their finishing move instead of just stealing a pin. I can’t imagine the Wolves don’t get the belts for real over the summer and it looks like we might be leading towards Zema vs. Sanada.

Angelina is worried about Madison being angry. Velvet says go talk to her.

Kenny King of the Night promo.

Angelina goes to talk to Madison and talks down to her again. Madison says no again but Angelina grabs her by the hair and destroys Madison before saying she and Velvet are the real Beautiful People.

MVP will be chained to Abyss tonight.

We get a video on Knux of all people, who says he’s heard from a woman he’s been involved with before and thinks it must be serious if she’s calling him. Knux tells us about his family running a carnival and how his dad isn’t cool with Knux’s career path. To be continued.

Bully is still at Dixie’s office and we get a quickly edited video of him lecturing an off camera Dixie. She has her chair turned against the wall as Ray talks about how everyone hates her. Ray goes on about Dixie coming to New York and offering him money to screw over Team MVP but Ray didn’t respect her enough for that. He whips the chair around and of course there’s no one there. Bobby Roode jumps Ray from behind and rams Ray into a wall. Bully is stunned so Roode hits him with a poster to really knock him out.

Abyss has something planned for Joe and MVP tonight. He shows Magnus the tacks in his hand.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

MVP and Abyss are chained together at ringside and Magnus is defending. Joe sends Magnus to the floor before throwing the champion back inside for rapid fire punches and an enziguri in the corner. Back from a break with Magnus in control and putting Joe on the mat for a chinlock. Joe fights up but gets caught with a knee to the ribs.

A powerslam puts Magnus down but Joe can’t follow up. He grabs the Clutch but Magnus breaks free with a jawbreaker, knocking the referee down in the process. Abyss goes for the tacks but MVP sends Abyss into the post and throws the bag of tacks up the ramp. Abyss comes back with a chair and stops a charging Joe with a chair shot. Magnus adds a top rope elbow to retain the title at 11:43.

Rating: C. The match was just there to get to the angle at the end. I like Abyss and Magnus as a beauty and the beast pairing and Magnus’ reliance on Abyss to save him is going to set up a blowoff match down the line. That’s the good side. The bad side however is that blowoff match will be between Magnus and Abyss. This probably shifts Joe away from the Magnus feud….or it would in a regular wrestling company. Odds are we get at least three more matches between them.

Overall Rating: D+. This show felt way too Russoified to me. I know that’s the rumor at the moment but it really does seem like Russo has a hand in creative. We had two instances of handcuffs, a random guy getting a story, and a big brutal fight leading into another segment with no room to breathe.

That’s a big issue with TNA over the years: there’s no time to catch your breath. Look at the opening segment. It’s a ten minute brawl and Eric Young is hanged. They immediately cut to the next segment and act like the previous one wasn’t a big deal at all. The same was true with Gunner’s dad getting laid out. They were IMMEDIATELY on Gail Kim’s promo and there was no time to digest what we just saw.

It’s ok to let a show build on itself instead of packing 25 stories in there. Now to be fair, they only have two hours a week and they’ve cut way down on the wastes of time, but it’s still going too fast. The fans don’t need to be going through a show at a hundred miles an hour and then try to figure out what they just saw. In other words, SLOW DOWN.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Willow interfered

Gail Kim b. Lei’D Tapa – Eat Defeat

Bro Mans b. Wolves and Tigre Uno/Sanada – Bro Down to Tigre

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 13, 2014: Don’t Be A Bully, Be A Good Guy!

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 13, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the first time since October we’re coming off a pay per view and MVP is now in full control. His team won Lethal Lockdown with the help of Bully Ray swerving Dixie Carter by screwing over Team Roode this past Sunday. Other than that Abyss has been revealed as Magnus’ bodyguard/enforcer after saving the title when Samoa Joe had Magnus beaten. Tonight should be a fresh start for the company as we head towards Sacrifice at the end of next month. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Donovan Hill, who passed away at less than ten years old. I’m not sure who that is but he’s called “Our Angel.”

The Bro Mans and Ethan blame Roode for the loss but Roode says blame it on Bully Ray. A plot is hatched to take care of the Bully.

We look at some clips from Lockdown, focusing on the ends of the double main event.

Here’s a happy MVP to open the show. He’s pleased to tell us that Dixieland is officially closed for business. Just a week ago he was the minority owner but now he’s in charge and moving forward. He doesn’t know why Bully Ray did what he did but his past sins are now forgiven and he can compete like everyone else on the roster. MVP will be running this roster with the MVP Principle: Motivate, Validate, Participate. If someone has an issue, they can come deal with it, but he’s willing to give out some physical discipline if necessary.

This brings out Magnus with a rebuttal. He says this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. MVP: “More ridiculous than your title run?” Magnus talks about how Dixie is gone so now we can look at the important things like his title reign. He brings out his associate Abyss (in a new brown mask close to what Kane wore in 2002 and yellow/black trench coat) and agrees with the fans chanting YOU SOLD OUT. Magnus says he isn’t like Jim Mitchell or Eric Young because he’s going to pay Abyss to do whatever he wants.

MVP says Magnus was beaten at Lockdown until Abyss saved him. We should put this conversation on hold though, because we need Samoa Joe out here right now. Joe comes out holding his ribs but MVP says we’re not done yet. Therefore, Joe is still #1 contender and getting a match right now against Abyss.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Joe takes him down and hammers away as we take a quick break. Back with Joe in control and hammering Abyss from one corner to another. He hits the Facewash in the corner but gets caught by a right hand to the injured ribs to change control. Abyss chokes on the ropes and punches in the corner like a monster should be doing.

We hit a quick neck crank but Joe fights out of a chokeslam attempt. A running boot puts Abyss down and there’s the back splash but Joe hurts his ribs again. He’s able to powerslam the monster down but Abyss fights out of a MuscleBuster attempt. Joe jumps from the middle rope into a chokeslam so Abyss goes outside to get Janice. This brings in Eric Young to dropkick Abyss down for the DQ at 9:30.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but too much of it was in the commercial. It didn’t help that Joe was injured for such a long portion. Eric coming in makes sense but it doesn’t really have me fired up for the upcoming blowoff match. They had to get rid of Abyss vs. Joe somehow if they’re keeping Joe going after the title.

JB is in the back for an interview when Angelina Love returns and asks if he missed her.

Bully Ray is on his way but we cut over to Willow for one of his freaky promos that I can’t understand.

Brittany vs. Gail Kim

Brittany is debuting here despite being Santana Garrett on a One Night Only show. We get a quick profile on her, saying she’s a second generation wrestler and admires Madison Rayne. Gail goes off on Brittany but the newcomer comes back with a forearm. Kim takes her down with a quick backbreaker and sends her into the corner for some kicks and shoulders to the ribs. Brittany takes her down with a Russian legsweep and Tapa comes in. She accidentally splashes Gail though and Brittany grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:02.

Post match Gail goes off on Tapa but gets laid out and beaten up with ease.

Bully Ray arrives and gets jumped by Ethan, the Bro Mans and Roode. They choke him out and blast Ray in the head with a big board to leave him laying.

Bro Mans vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Non-title. Zema does the full intro to great comedic effect. We get a video of Great Muta praising Sanada and telling him to make Japan look great. Sanada gets slammed down by Jesse to start and there’s that horn. Off to Tigre who works on Robbie’s arm to the appeal of the crowd. Jesse gorilla presses the masked Tigre and pumps him over and over, only to have Sanada come in with a springboard chop to the head.

A nice double dropkick puts Robbie down and Jesse gets suplexed onto his partner. The tag champs bail to the floor and Sanada backdrops Uno onto them both in a BIG crash. Back in and double missile dropkicks put the Bro Mans down again before Sanada hits a moonsault for the pin on Robbie at 2:50.

Velvet Sky freaks out that Angelina Love is back.

Bully destroys the Bro Mans to get some revenge.

Samuel Shaw is talking to Christy and wants her out there for his rematch with Anderson. He gets annoyed when the cameraman sees him. Christy was never seen or heard in the shot.

Ethan and Spud have a tribute to Dixie up next.

Samoa Joe goes to yell at Eric Young for interfering earlier but says don’t do it again. Eric has gotten Joe a rematch next week against Magnus for the title and Eric will be chained to Abyss.

It’s time for the tribute to Dixie. The fans are glad that she’s gone but Spud is overly emotional. The fans switch to a BORING chant, but Ethan says that just makes Spud want to cry more. Spud talks about how tonight is about how Dixie made everyone feel, including supple young Ethan. Dixie picked him up like Mary lifting Jesus out of the manger and made him the man he is today.

We get a video tribute to Dixie with shots of her smiling and yelling at various people. Then one night it was all taken away in Miami Beach. MVP can take away her power, but he’ll never take her out of our hearts. Spud reads what sounds like the song Dixie until MVP breaks this up. He says Dixie is just in the back shuffling papers now. Over the last few weeks, Spud has grown on him like a fungus or a rash.

Spud and Ethan must be loyal if they put up with Dixie but now it’s time for them to back it up in the ring. Spud says he can’t wrestle because he’s small and the Chief of Staff. MVP says that’s cool because we don’t need a Chief of Staff anymore. He gives Spud a pep talk and Spud wants to fight, so tonight it’s Spud vs. Willow. The announcers just say it’s Jeff Hardy’s alter ego.

Ethan shouldn’t laugh because next week he gets to face Bobby Lashley. Bobby comes out for a staredown and MVP says he’s officially on the roster. Spud yells at Bobby so Lashley bops him with the Dixie portrait. The former Chief of Staff snuggles up to it before Ethan leaves in a huff.

JB is waiting for Ethan behind the curtain and Ethan promises to take out Lashley’s knee next week. Bully Ray jumps him and hits a HARD shot to the head. Ethan takes a hard shot with a plastic board of his own.

Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson

Street fight. Shaw was talking to the upper body of a mannequin with a red wig. Anderson does his intro but Shaw sneaks up in the darkness to jump him before the bell. Anderson comes back with some right hands and but gets whipped into the steps. Samuel drives him back first into the apron and grabs a suplex on the floor.

Anderson finally throws him into the ring and they slug it out some more until Anderson gets the swinging neckbreaker and rolling fireman’s carry. Mr. goes to the corner and grabs the mannequin’s hair, sending Shaw into a panic. He gives it a kiss and tosses it to Shaw who takes his time sitting it down, allowing the Mic Check to hit for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. Why in the world did this need to be a street fight? You could have done the exact same match with a brawl before the bell and thent he exact same finish. Shaw continues to be freaky and good in the role which is more than he could have done on his own. It was fine for a quick match but the gimmick brings it down.

Anderson shouts his name into the mannequin’s face.

Angelina says she’s back for someone special.

Video on the fan parties at house shows.

Willow stares at the camera.

Kenny King of the Night video.

Here’s Angelina for her return speech. She never thought she would hear that music again but it’s great to be back in TNA. She has grown wiser in the time since she left. Her dad told her that she’ll never miss what she has until it’s gone and that’s what happened with TNA. Friendships are more important though so she invites Velvet out here. They hug hello and Angelina says she never got to say goodbye.

Being apart for the last few years has made Angelina realize that Velvet made her who she is in this business. For years, Angel Williams (her ring name outside of TNA) wasn’t getting noticed but as Angelina Love she teamed with Velvet Sky and got noticed. Now every day she’s asked when the Beautiful People are getting back together and Angelina thinks the time is now.

The fans chant YES but Velvet isn’t sure because she’s found herself since Angelina has been gone. She even won the Knockouts Title for the first time and now she thinks she’s ready to move on. There will never be a bond as strong as the Beautiful People had and she wants to move forward. Angelina calls her dude and says there’s a ton of unfinished business for the Beautiful People. Love tries one more time but Velvet says she needs more time.

Willow vs. Rockstar Spud

We’re in early squash mode with Willow hammering away in the corner. A cartwheel splash has Sput in even more trouble and Willow dances a bit. Spud gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Willow gets his umbrella to blast Spud low for the DQ at 2:26.

Willow beats up the referee and pulls out a ladder before Pillmanizing Spud’s leg as revenge for costing Hardy the title. He stomps on it twice and hits a splash from the top of the ladder onto Spud’s chest, hurting the leg again in the process.  Bully Ray comes out as we take a break.

Ray says he can’t believe the fans are cheering for him. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. That happened to him when Anderson Mic Checked him into the coffin. He was going to give an explanation for what happened, but those four guys made this physical. If Roode had won on Sunday, he would have become just another Dixie Carter and that’s the last thing wrestling needs.

Ray wants Roode out here right now so here’s Bobby. He hits the ring and is immediately taken down so Bully can go get the tables. It takes too long though and Roode comes back with a spinebuster before setting up the table. The Roode Bomb is countered and Ray grabs a Cutter. A powerbomb through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with stories making sense and good wrestling to back it up. Ray turning face makes sense and he’s still a good talker so he can back it up. Dixie is hopefully gone and Spud should be off TV as well. That being said, they rushed through the Ray story WAY too fast. Ray getting attacked and getting revenge could be spread out for a month but they did it in two hours. There’s hope for TNA, but I don’t believe they can make it last longer than two months.

Results

Abyss b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Eric Young interfered

Brittany b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Sanada/Tigre Uno b. Bro Mans – Moonsault to Robbie

Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Mic Check

Rockstar Spud b. Willow via DQ when Willow hit Spud with an umbrella

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Lockdown 2014: Swerving The Swerver

Lockdown 2014
Date: March 9, 2014
Location: BankUnited Center, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s been five months since the last pay per view so this isn’t something TNA is used to anymore. We have a double main event tonight with Magnus defending the World Title against Samoa Joe and Team MVP vs. Team Dixie in Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. The Lethal Lockdown match also has Jeff Hardy returning for the first time in a few months. All of the matches tonight are in the cage so let’s get to it.

We see Magnus arriving earlier today.

The opening video talks about being alone with your greatest enemies inside the cage.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Here’s Spud to introduce Dixie as real royalty. She calls herself a real queen, unlike that stupid King James. Dixie rants about how MVP and the people have driven her to do something she’s going to regret. She built this company into the international success that it is. Earlier this week she went to New York to get a little insurance policy to ensure victory tonight. Jeff Hardy walked out on this company and therefore breached his contract. Therefore, he’s banned from the building tonight and now we can enjoy the rest of the show.

Velvet Sky and Eric Young are answering internet questions. Eric thinks everything changes after tonight.

We recap Shaw vs. Anderson. Shaw is obsessed with Christy Hemme and Anderson is protecting her from harm. Samuel thinks this means Anderson is preventing him from being with Christy and has been attacking him as a result.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is escape only. Before Anderson comes out, Shaw climbs to the top of the cage and says if Christy doesn’t come out, he’s going to professionally end it all. Before he can jump though, Anderson comes out and points out the obvious: the cage isn’t high enough to do a lot of damage. All that will do is break his ankle and make Shaw look even goofier. Anderson offers to beat Shaw up a bit and then take him somewhere really high to jump.

We’re finally ready to go with Anderson taking over for a few moments but running into a boot in the corner. Christy is at ringside now. An early Mic Check is blocked but Anderson takes him down with a gutwrench suplex. Shaw chokes Anderson in the corner but can’t quite get over the cage. Anderson goes after him but gets rammed face first into the cage a few times and knocked down to the mat. Shaw still can’t climb fast enough though and Anderson runs the corner for a belly to back superplex.

Shaw sends him face first into the cage but Anderson sends him into the cage door, knocking it open and drilling Earl Hebner in the process. There’s the Mic Check to Shaw and a second one sends him face first into the buckle. Anderson calls him a frickin weirdo and climbs the cage but Shaw reaches through a hole in the cage and pulls Christy in.

Shaw starts crawling on the mat ala Kevin Sullivan at the 1988 Great American Bash. Anderson makes it to the floor but there’s no referee. Mr. gets the key from Hebner and opens the door for the save but Shaw hits Anderson low and chokes him out before leaving for the win at 10:12.

Rating: C. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to with Shaw getting creepier and creepier every week. The longer this story goes the more likely it seems that Christy joins Shaw at some point, but it doesn’t have quite the impact since she and Anderson are just friends. Not much of a match but the story and characters are good. It’s very nice to see someone like Anderson go from one feud right into another like people did back in the day instead of just floating around and doing nothing at all.

Team Roode isn’t sure what the insurance policy is and argue about who will own what percentage of the company after they win.

We quickly look at Ethan Carter III injuring Kurt Angle, putting Kurt out of the match tonight.

Here’s Ethan who has issued an open challenge for Angle’s spot. Ethan talks about growing up wanting to be the best and to beat the best. In 1996, Kurt Angle was the best and Ethan took him out twice now. The fans say he can’t wrestle but Ethan comes back with chants of “I’m very good” and “I disagree.” By the way this is our third promo tonight and it’s getting clear that they’re stalling, despite having eight matches. He asks anyone to come out here but warns the fans not to hijack this show.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Well that’s a surprise. Ethan insists that Lashley isn’t on the roster but Bobby powerslams him down and hits a big spear. There was no bell so it wasn’t a match, meaning Ethan is still undefeated.

Kenny King’s King of the Night promo.

Magnus says he’s all alone tonight but he’s used to that. He has to battle against Joe on his own tonight and he’s fighting a lone crusade. Something doesn’t sit well with him tonight because everyone is talking about what Joe is going to do to him. No one has asked what Magnus is going to do to Joe. Tonight, Joe bows down to the reign of Magnus.

Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Pin/submission to win here. Tigre Uno is Extreme Tiger from AAA. They trade some very fast wristlocks to start before they both go for dropkicks and crash to the mat. Back up and they miss each other a few times until Tigre dropkicks Manik down. Manik comes out of the corner with a headscissors before throwing him to the top rope, only to have Tigre catch himself on the cage. A moonsault gets two on Manik but Tigre misses a charge and goes flying into the steel.

Manik gets two off a belly to back suplex and drives some knees into Tigre’s back. There’s a surfboard hold from Manik and he drops Tigre backwards for two. Manik gets two more off a dropkick and a backbreaker gets the same. Tigre comes back by jumping up to the top rope and coming down with a hurricanrana.

A spinwheel kick and running DDT drop Manik again but he can’t get a sunset bomb off the top. Instead Manik dropkicks him in the back and gets two of his own off a sitout powerbomb. They trade standing switches and Tigre tries a capture suplex, only to drop Manik down onto his head. A quick Sabretooth (moonsault into a 450) Splash is enough to give Tigre the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C+. Take two guys and let them fly around the ring for eight minutes. It worked every night in WCW and it’s going to work every single time you use it in wrestling. Tigre Uno looked good out there and will be a nice addition to the division, bringing the roster up to what, five people? Good stuff here but this show needs something that matters soon.

We recap Gunner vs. Storm. Gunner took the Feast or Fired briefcase from him and Storm was livid, eventually turning on Gunner to cost him the World Title match against Magnus. Tonight it’s last man standing.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anythin gbut I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

We look at Dixie’s promo again because that’s what we do in TNA.

Team MVP is ready for revenge but don’t like the idea of being patient. Richards wants to get Aries for injuring his shoulder but MVP tells him to keep his composure. MVP promises to unleash the Wolves and the hunt will be on.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne. They used to be best friends but titles came between them. How many times has TNA used that story for this division in recent years?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Rayne is defending. Gail quickly takes her down to start and chokes with a boot but Madison gets a quick rollup for two. Kim fakes her out on a middle rope cross body and tries to leave, only to have Madison get above her and use her legs to ram Gail’s head into the cage. Madison gets pulled off the cage and down to the mat in a crash for two but she’s still able to make a save as Gail tries to leave.

Kim bends her over a knee for a backbreaker but Rayne stretches her legs up for a kick to the head. Madison sends her face first into the cage and drops her with some forearms and a low dropkick. Both girls climb the cage but Gail brings her down with a neckbreaker in a big crash. Madison makes a save to prevent an escape but gets leveraged into the cage for two. They both climb again and Gail is sent down, setting up a top rope spear for the pin to retain Madison’s title at 8:55.

Rating: C. Madison is getting better in the ring and is of course very nice to look at so the match wasn’t all that bad. The cage added something with the collisions here but it’s still nothing that blew me away. The division is dying for some fresh stories but that’s been the case for years now.

Joe says he’s dominated the last few months to earn this shot. He once considered Magnus to be a brother but now Magnus has thrown that away for the quick and easy path to the title. Joe will make the pain tangible and bash it into Magnus’ skull over and over again.

We recap Joe vs. Magnus which was already covered in Joe’s promo. Magnus was part of the Main Event Mafia but joined Dixie Carter to become champion. Tonight it’s knockout or submission only to win.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

Magnus is defending. Joe gets in the first offense with a hard kick to the thigh but the champion takes him down with a headlock. In a unique move, Joe grabs a wristlock and headbutts Magnus’ hand before putting on a hammerlock. A hard back elbow to the jaw drops Magnus again and Joe peppers him with right hands in the corner. Joe chops him down in the corner and hits the Facewash.

Magnus avoids the running backsplash and hammers away before raking Joe’s eyes. The champion misses a charge and goes into the cage so Joe rams him face first into the steel over and over. The ramming draws blood and Joe goes right after it but misses a charge, allowing the Englishman to send him face first into the steel over and over. Now Joe is busted open and Magnus locks on the Figure Four.

Joe turns it over but Magnus immediately lets go and puts on a camel clutch. That’s powered out of as well but Magnus slaps on a sleeper. Joe picks him up into the air and drops Magnus down onto his back, putting both guys down. Magnus loses a forearm slugout but gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Samoan. Joe comes right back with a slam and the backsplash followed by a cross armbreaker.

Magnus rolls out and heads up top and shoves Joe down before dropping the big elbow. Joe gets back to his feet and wins a slugout with his hard slaps before crotching Magnus down on the top. There’s the MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch but Abyss’ hand comes up through the ring and pulls Joe through the mat. After a few seconds, a furious Joe slowly comes up through the ring and chokes Magnus in the corner. Abyss comes up through the hole and hits Joe in the stomach with Janice before a Black Hole Slam sets up the Koquina Clutch from Magnus for the win at 19:28.

Rating: B-. Well the Authority has its Kane now. I don’t think it was a big surprise that there were shenanigans at the end but the question was what would happen. Abyss being the corporate monster gives him something to do but it’s not exactly something new. Then again, this is TNA where we have to have an evil alliance on top of the company because that’s almost all they know how to do.

Post match Eric Young asks Abyss what he’s thinking but Magnus says get him out of here.

Dixie sends Spud to get the insurance policy.  Roode comes in and says he’s nervous but Dixie says there’s insurance.  They tell each other not to screw this up.

We recap Lethal Lockdown with both teams fighting for control of the company.  Aries swerved MVP to join Team Roode but MVP brought back Jeff Hardy to even things out.

Team MVP vs. Team Roode

MVP, Wolves, Jeff Hardy

Bobby Roode, Bro Mans, Austin Aries

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames and the winner gets control of TNA (Roode is fighting for Dixie and gets 10% ownership if his team wins). Two men start for five minutes followed by a member of Team Roode (due to winning a match on Impact) enters for a two minute advantage. After two minutes a member of Team MVP enters to even things out for two minutes. This alternates until all eight are in when a roof with weapons is lowered and then it’s one fall to a finish, including pins.

Aries and the hometown boy MVP get things going with MVP kicking Aries in the face. Austin comes back with a bulldog and the Last Chancery before laying on the ropes. A missile dropkick doesn’t work as MVP catches him in an exploder suplex and the Ballin Elbow but Aries takes him out before it lands. Aries hits a running dropkick but MVP slams him down and hammers away. Austin escapes an arm hold but misses an elbow drop as Robbie E comes in for the advantage after four minutes.

MVP immediately drops him on his face but Aries gets in a cheap shot and the heels take over. A top rope ax handle puts MVP down and E drops a middle rope elbow to the face. They talk trash to MVP until Eddie Edwards ties things up. Eddie cleans house as you expect a fresh man to do in a Lethal Lockdown match. DJ Zema Ion tries to interfere but gets knocked off the cage wall in a big bump. The good guys control for a bit until the clock runs out with Jesse Godderz giving Team Roode a 3-2 advantage.

The Bro Mans take over without much happening until Davey Richards and his bad arm ties things up. Davey of course gives his team the advantage again with the fast paced double team offense as the WarGames formula is firmly in place here. Stereo half crabs have the Bro Mans in trouble until Aries clotheslines the Wolves from behind. Roode and his awesome sleeveless coat makes it 4-3. The captains go face to face until Roode takes MVP down with a spinebuster.

The heels take complete control until the clock comes on and it’s Willow (Jeff Hardy’s new gimmick, which looks like a black and white Ultimo Dragon mask and really high pants) to tie things up and complete both teams. He comes in as the lights are out and dives off the top of the cage. If they don’t want us to know he’s Hardy, they might have wanted to give him a full body suit to cover the big green tattoo. Thankfully Taz and Tenay drop hints about who it is as the roof with the weapons lower…..and here’s Dixie.

She introduces the insurance policy as the special referee: Bully Ray. As in the guy that spent a year and a half trying to destroy her company. Team MVP waits for Ray at the door but Team Roode jumps them from behind. The weapons are brought in with Ray finding a table under the ring. Dixie sits in a chair on the stage to watch the carnage as it’s all Team Roode. Bobby puts Davey’s bad arm in the Crossface with Bully asking if he wants to give up and talking trash at the same time.

Team Roode all has front facelocks on their opponents but a triple backdrop breaks them free. Richards is broken out quickly and MVP makes sure to hit the Ballin Elbow on Roode. The weapons are used more extensively and Willow loads up a powerbomb on Aries but throws him face first into the cage instead. Robbie is tied up in the Tree of Woe as Ray is just standing in the corner watching. The Wolves set up a trashcan in front of Robbie’s face for an AWESOME double Van Terminator.

Aries is sat in a chair and kicked over and over until he grabs Richards for a BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE CHAIR. Willow breaks up the save but Aries puts him on a trashcan, only to have Willow move before the 450 only hits the can. A Twist of Fate and Swanton gets a very delayed two on Aries as Roode makes the save and sends Willow into the cage. The table is set up in the cage but Ray gets in the way of the Roode Bomb to MVP. Ray and Roode stare each other down until Ray gives him a Bully Bomb. MVP hits a quick Drive By on Roode for the pin at 26:53.

Rating: B+. The match started slowly but those big spots at the end were great. MVP winning is the right call and fairly obvious (I don’t believe heels have EVER won Lethal Lockdown) but at least there was some drama in there. I don’t get the point of having Hardy be Willow if they’re going to just acknowledge he’s Hardy in a costume. Good main event and a match the show needed.

Dixie and Spud go to the cage but Spud pulls her away from Ray. Bully puts Roode through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining but the ending didn’t do much for me. The New York thing was pretty obvious if you thought about it long enough and Lethal Lockdown was the same as it always was. Overall it wasn’t bad, but like everything else with TNA it didn’t feel like it made things better.

The company is still in the same place: a promotion with a not bad story but nothing all that exciting because it’s most of the same guys just being rotated into different spots with about one new guy being added to the main event every year. At least the Authority is broken (for now) and we don’t have some evil owner. Then again this is TNA so I give them until June to have Dixie back on TV and in power.

Results

Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu b. Bad Influence/Chris Sabin – Moonsault to Daniels

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw escaped the cage

Tigre Uno b. Manik – Sabretooth Splash

Gunner b. James Storm – Superplex through two chairs

Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim – Top rope spear

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Koquina Clutch

Team MVP b. Team Roode – Drive By to Roode

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Lockdown 2014 Preview

Yeah, TNA still has pay per views.  It’s been six months since the last one, but TNA still have them.We’ll go with the main events first.  Magnus over Joe to retain the title.  THey’ve spent way too much time building up Magnus to have him lose his first PPV title defense.  Unfortunately TNA has gotten into this habit of building up long drawn out stories that can only really change at Bound For Glory, making the seven or so months leading up to them rather pointless.  I think that’s where we’re going here as Magnus’ title reign is built up as unbeatable until someone stops him at Bound For Glory.

Lethal Lockdown seems to be too easy to mess up.  At the end of the day, MVP’s team is just too strong to lose a straight match, but the last thing I want to see is Dixie begging to get power back.  The second to last thing I want to see is Dixie with all the power, but it seems that we’re going to get one of those things.  You know, because Dixie is what really drives TNA of course.  I’ll go with Team Dixie for the win in a screwjob ending, because that’s what TNA does when they have something good going.

Storm over Gunner with the Last Call.  Gunner isn’t a long term top guy and I think TNA knows it.

I’ll take Gail to win the Knockouts Title in the cage because we haven’t gone long enough without Gail talking about how she is the best Knockout in the world and issuing open challenges for the title because the idea of having a story in that division is just not going to happen no matter how long we need one.

There’s a six man X-Division tag with three guys from Wrestle-1 in Japan against Bad Influence and Chris Sabin.  I still don’t get how thi sis supposed to appeal to the American fans.  It helps a bit with the international fans, which is fine but it might be a good idea to focus on America where the business is based.  Does TNA think people are going to buy this show for Great Muta, who was a hot young act nearly 25 years ago?  The other guys are the current X-Division Champion who beat Aries for the title in Japan recently and a guy who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.  I get that the match will be action packed and fun, but it’s only going to do them so much good.  Then again I’ve never been a fan of the invasion angles at all.

Tigre Uno over Manik.  They’ve spent too much time building up Tigre with promos to have him lose his debut.

I’ll go with Samuel Shaw over Anderson, setting up a rematch down the line.

Ethan Carter III over whoever they bring in to face him in Angle’s place.

 

Overall Lockdown doesn’t really interest me all that much.  At the end of the day, they have eight matches on the card.  Two of them are with guys debuting for the company with no story and a third is a mystery opponent.  When you’re only running one PPV every six months, I need a little big more than a card with nearly half the matches having no backstory.  The show should be fun as TNA PPVs usually deliver, but this doesn’t blow my skirt up.  The fact that every match is in a cage makes it even worse.

Thoughts/predictions?




Impact Wrestling – February 27, 2014: Terryn Terell Has Nothing On Austin Aries

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 27, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The main story coming out of last week’s show are Storm turning on Gunner to cost him the world title and the official announcement of Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. Bobby Roode will be captaining Dixie’s team but we’re not sure who will be joining him against Team MVP. Other than that we’ll likely get more build towards Joe vs. Magnus. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Kurt Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame tonight. They couldn’t wait for a PPV weekend in nine days for that?

Gunner is looking for James Storm and promises him a beating.

Dixie Carter isn’t here tonight so Roode and Spud have match making authority. Nice to see that if one boss isn’t around, a bunch of others can take her place.

Here’s MVP to open things up with a long list of nicknames. First up, he guarantees that Gunner will get his title shot once he wins full control of TNA. However, that means that it’s Magnus vs. Joe at Lockdown for the world title. MVP brings out Samoa Joe to a very enthusiastic pop from the London crowd. Magnus comes out as well to some solid heat from his home country crowd. We get a clip of his title defense last week where Storm saves the title for the champ.

Magnus rips on London for slipping from a great city into a town ridden with crime, poverty and debauchery. As for MVP, Magnus is the only person that handles his career, so MVP needs to get on with whatever he’s saying. We’re here for a contract signing tonight and MVP tilts the advantage even further to Joe by making it knockout or tap out only.

Joe immediately signs but Magnus says he’s got a whole decks of cards left to play. He calls Joe an unrefined animal and his fans use horrible chants like Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Joe is a dangerous animal and Magnus is the man that will put that animal down. Magnus signs as well and tells Joe to do something about Magnus getting in his face. Joe headbutts him into the corner and ERUPTS on the champion with rights and lefts. He stomps Magnus down in the corner but referees pull him off.

We get a clip from a house show where the Wolves took the Tag Titles from the Bro Mans.

The Bro Mans and Zema are panicking over losing their titles and decide the easiest way to get revenge is to get on Team Roode. They go to see Bobby but he says Bad Influence wants in too. Tonight Roode is making a triple threat tag tonight with Bad Influence, the Wolves and the Bro Mans. If either the Bro Mans or Bad Influence win, they’re on the team. If the Wolves win, the search continues.

Bad Influence vs. Bro Mans vs. Wolves

Non-title and no entrances for anyone. Daniels runs Davey over to start but walks into some armdrags into an O’Connor Roll for two. Davey hooks a modified surfboard as Eddie and Kaz come in for a regular version of the same move to Kazarian. Things settle back down and it’s off to Kaz who walks into an armdrag of his own. The Wolves start speeding things up and working on the arm but Kaz is able to get Davey into the corner for a double team as Bad Influence takes over.

Daniels teases making a tag to a Bro Man but pulls Davey back in a smart move. Richards is able to get a hot tag to Eddie who cleans house and slams Kaz down for two. Robbie makes the save and Zema is already blowing that stupid horn. Bad Influence hits a quick powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two on Edwards but Eddie comes back with a running Stunner out of the corner to Kaz. Everything breaks down and Davey hits the top rope double stomp to Kaz but Robbie comes in to steal the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C. So they’re putting a comedy team in a match for the future of the company. It didn’t work at Old School and it’s not likely to work here. Bad Influence are also a comedy team but at least they’re capable of having some awesome matches when they need to. The Wolves are growing on me and I don’t have a problem with them winning the titles so soon.

Ethan Carter III has selected a British wrestling legend as his opponent tonight and he’ll become the new face of American wrestling.

Bobby Roode recruits Austin Aries for his team.

Doug Williams vs. Ethan Carter III

The fans are entirely behind Williams and he jumps Ethan to start. Williams pounds away for a few moments before Ethan hits a quick low blow and the One Percenter for the pin at 1:20.

Carter goes after Doug’s knee post match.

James Storm arrives and comes to the ring after a break. He says he doesn’t run and asks Gunner to come out here if he wants an explanation for what happened last week. Gunner says this better be good. Storm says he screwed Gunner out of his title shot and had it planned out ever since Gunner stole the briefcase in Feast or Fired. The nail in the coffin was Gunner handing him the Tag Title briefcase like feeding scraps to a dog. Storm says Gunner should owe him a thank you for picking his career up off the ground.

Gunner says the sad thing is James Storm actually believes that. In the Marine Corps, a thank you was standing next to your friend no matter what. Gunner went over to war so that James Storm could sit here and drink those cold beers. Storm says it doesn’t matter if Gunner had lived or died but Gunner says the people would care. The fight is on and Storm swings a chair at Gunner’s head, only to hit the post instead. Storm runs off when Gunner gets the chair.

After a break Gunner says Storm won’t be able to run forever and he’ll have to go through Gunner.

Magnus is in the ring and looking disheveled after Joe’s attack earlier. He’s found someone to take care of Joe but of course they’re not from England. He went to Germany and found a natural born killer named Bad Bones, who I believe won the international Gut Check competition.

Joe vs. Bad Bones

Bones is a bald guy with a lot of tattoos and some muscles. He jumps Joe during the entrance but Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the Facewash. The MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch get the submission from Bones at 1:16. So much for Bones.

MVP asks Aries for his decision on Lethal Lockdown. Aries isn’t sure because he doesn’t trust either guy because you can’t do that in this business. He asks to referee their match tonight so he can make his decision up close and personal. MVP agrees.

It’s time for Angle’s Hall of Fame induction. JB gives him a very nice induction and we get a video that I believe aired when he was announced last year. Angle limps to the ring and is given a Rolex watch. He’s touched by the fans’ reaction and says the Hall of Fame is about the fans. TNA wouldn’t exist without them and he can’t thank them enough. He was supposed to accept this honor back in October but he wasn’t in a good place, either personally or professionally.

Angle says he’s in a better place now and thanks God for giving him the abilities he has. He thanks his wife and kids for their support and hopes he can make them proud. The talent in the back keeps him motivated and help him every day. Angle thanks each and every one of the fans and says it’s a great night to be Kurt Angle. That seems to be it but here’s EC3 to interrupt.

Ethan says he was touched by the ceremony and the video, but he has a tribute video of his own. We see a video of him attacking Kurt’s knee last week, complete with thought bubbles that aren’t particularly funny (“I am the new face of American wrestling”, because being the face of everything is a thing in wrestling now).

Ethan says he has big news and Angle invites him into the ring to share it with the world. He opens a piece of paper, with writing on the back saying he beat Angle and Sting. Apparently Angle has a torn ACL and MCL, meaning he requires surgery due to the attack at Ethan’s hands. His career might be over, so Ethan thinks Angle should retire. Angle gets in his face and asks why Ethan would do this when he knows Angle will tear his throat out.

Ethan says he knows Kurt is injured but Angle says you should go straight to the source. Carter: “Why? The internet is always right. Well at least 50% of the time.” Angle says the actual source is right 100% of the time. He has no torn ACL or MCL and knocks Ethan out of the ring. Angle says cut the music because he has an announcement. MVP has given him a match at Lockdown with any wrestler he wants, so guess who he’s picked.

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female vs. Madison Rayne/Velvet Sky

Alpha Female really doesn’t work as a name. It’s a brawl to start as Tazz talks about Alpha Female and Bad Bones, completely failing to be funny as usual. Tapa throws Madison around but it’s quickly off to Velvet vs. Female. Sabin tries to come in and go after Velvet but Alpha Female quickly saves him. Tapa misses a middle rope splash but Sabin offers a distraction, allowing Gail to cheap shot Madison. Tapa hits her over the shoulder Stunner for the pin on Rayne at 2:31.

The monsters beat down Madison and Velvet until ODB makes the save.

Tigre Uno is coming at Lockdown. It’s Extreme Tiger from AAA.

Samuel Shaw says people don’t understand. He was helping Christy Hemme last week and the people don’t understand that. He’ll make them understand right now.

Shaw comes to the arena and quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson, saying that to be great is to be misunderstood. Christy has misunderstood him so he asks her to get in the ring. He says there are certain men that aren’t respecting her and those men have been looking at her wrong. Shaw is here to protect her and wants everything from her. This brings out Anderson and Shaw says he’s one of those guys. Christy is lucky Shaw was there last week but Anderson tells him to shut up.

Whatever relationship Shaw thinks he has with Christy isn’t real but here’s what is real. Anderson rolls up his sleeves but Shaw says he’s been nothing but a gentleman. Even if he were to try something with her though, she would be receptive because women like her are always available. Christy slaps him in the face and Shaw hides behind her as Anderson comes in. Shaw shoves Christy onto Anderson and slaps the choke on Mr., pulling him down to the mat.

Willow is still creepy and still coming.

Storm and Gunner fight in the back until agents break it up. Gunner shouts that this ends at Lockdown.

Eric Young hopes Joseph Park comes back instead of Abyss.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Austin Aries is guest referee and wearing shorts ala Shawn Michaels on the first weekly Smackdown. Feeling out process to start with MVP taking it to the mat with a headlock. Roode fights up and they get in a jawing session until MVP runs him over with a shoulder block. A clothesline drops Roode again but it’s only good for a one count. Roode blocks a tornado DDT attempt by slamming MVP down onto the mat. A knee drop sets up a chinlock from Roode, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

MVP avoids a charge in the corner and hammers on Roode before taking him down with a nice high collar suplex. The Ballin Elbow sets up a fisherman’s suplex for two and we get a far too close shot of Aries. The Playmaker is countered and Roode charges into a boot in the corner. MVP charges into a spinebuster for two but fights out of the Roode Bomb.

The Playmaker connects for a VERY close two and MVP takes a second to question Aries. Roode comes back to trade forearms but MVP gets the better of it, only to get caught by an enziguri. MVP kicks out the knee and loads up the Drive By but Aries lays him out with a discus elbow, setting up the Roode Bomb for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. Basic match here as we were just waiting for the Aries decision to end the match. MVP is fine in this roll and there’s nothing wrong with him wrestling a match here and there. The match was nothing special and Aries being added to the team helps, but the Bro Mans are going to sink any hope Team Dixie has save for a screwjob.

Overall Rating: C+. Perfectly fine show here with a development to end the show and some decent matches in between. They’re filling in the card for Lockdown, even though there’s only ten days before the show. Either way, things are picking up a bit and it’s amazing how much easier this show is to sit through without Dixie hogging all the screen time.

Results

Bro Mans b. Bad Influence and The Wolves – Robbie pinned Kazarian after a double stomp from Richards

Ethan Carter III b. Doug Williams – One Percenter

Samoa Joe b. Bad Bones – Koquina Clutch

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female b. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne – Over the shoulder Stunner to Rayne

Bobby Roode b. MVP – Roode Bomb

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Impact Wrestling – February 13, 2014: HHH and Stephanie Think This Is Too Much

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The UK tour continues as we head into England for the first time this year. The main stories coming out of last week are Samoa Joe officially being #1 contender over Bobby Roode and an MVP vs. Dixie summit that went absolutely nowhere. Lockdown is less than a month away so odds are we’ll be hearing about Lethal Lockdown and the rest of the card soon enough. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP standing up to Dixie for all of her evil deeds in the last few months and promising changes to end Dixie’s party.

No time is wasted on getting to Dixie this week as she and her cronies are in the ring to start the show. Dixie says she clearly hasn’t lost a wink of sleep over MVP’s threats and the odds of him taking over the company are about as good as her having a bad hair day. Dixie brags about Magnus but Ethan takes the mic and says he’s the one that ended the career of Kurt Angle.

Magnus takes the mic as well but has to wait for a YOU SOLD OUT chant. It’s nice to be back in Manchester because it means another year before he has to be back here again. People like Manchester make him feel ashamed to be British because he’s not from the north, nor is he a paper champion. He’s a man who recognizes opportunity and there is no opportunity in Manchester, other than a chance to be smacked in the face by the world champion.

The fans aren’t impressed so Magnus shifts his focus to MVP. He doesn’t care what jail cell MVP came from but we need to get the pecking order established. It’s Magnus on top, Dixie second, everybody else, and then MVP. Magnus isn’t for sale but here are MVP and Joe with something of their own to say. MVP sucks up to the crowd and says that Joe will be challenging Magnus at Lockdown, which seems to take the champion by surprise.

This brings out Gunner with the Feast or Fired case, which will be cashed in next week on Impact. Dixie says not so fast, because Gunner has to face Ethan Carter for the briefcase tonight. MVP one ups her by putting EC3’s Tag Team Title briefcase on the line as well, but makes it a ladder match with both briefcases on the line. MVP tells “C-3PO” that if anyone tries to cheat in this match, he’ll be out here to level the playing field.

Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III

Dang they’re not wasting time tonight. Carter heads straight to the floor to start but Gunner is waiting for him and heads back inside for a running knee and a fallaway slam. Gunner goes to get a ladder but Carter dropkicks him off the apron and sets up the ladder himself, only to have Gunner send him into the buckle.

The ladder is sat in the corner and Carter is sent flying into the steel, only to have Gunner get the same treatment. He’s still able to powerbomb Carter down for the save but Magnus comes in and shoves the ladder over, only to draw in James Storm for the save. This brings out MVP who makes it a winner take all tag team ladder match at about 4:30.

Rating: D. This is one of the things I can’t stand about modern wrestling: wasted gimmick matches. Why in the world did they need to have a ladder match, only to throw in another one a few seconds later? On top of that, a gimmick match is supposed to attract viewers, but that usually requires more than five minutes’ warning. How good of a ladder match can you have with about four minutes of action?

James Storm/Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III/Magnus

Joined in progress with Storm in trouble and Magnus driving the ladder into Gunner’s back. Gunner is laid across the ladder and splashed across the back before both heels drop him ribs first onto the ladder. Magnus rams the ladder into Gunner’s face and loads up the ladder but Ethan tries to climb. That’s not cool with the champ who wants to go instead. They get in an argument, despite it not being clear who gets the case if Magnus pulls it down.

The fight lets Storm come back in and clean house and Ethan is double hiptossed onto the ladder. Magnus saves his partner from the Gun Rack but Storm hits a Cactus Clothesline to send himself and Magnus to the outside. Gunner comes back in with a swan dive to Carter and goes up to pull down both cases for the win at 5:00.

Rating: C-. Better match here but man alive enough with the five minute gimmick matches. We just saw two ladder matches combine to last under ten minutes and it doesn’t really solve anything. In short, there was no reason for these matches to use ladders other than it sounds cool on paper. Pay no attention to the fact that if you weren’t watching in the last twenty minutes, you would have no idea they were taking place.

Anderson says he’ll win tonight because he has family and we get to see a picture of his twin daughters.

Spud has divided the office in half and makes sure that Dixie has more flowers on her side. The Bro Mans come in and want to know what Dixie is going to do about Gunner and Storm having the briefcase. Yelling ensues when MVP comes in and says Dixie’s promises mean less and less every day. MVP says people don’t want to see lawyers and want to see action in the ring. What would be fair is to strip the champions of the titles but instead he’ll give them a six man tag match against the Wolves and a mystery partner, right now.

Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves/???

The mystery partner is Samoa Joe. Davey starts with a Tajiri handspring into a kick to Godderz’ head before a few headbutts from his parters are good for two. Off to Edwards vs. Robbie with Eddie snapping off a standing hurricanrana and a few chops. A running knee to the face gets two and it’s quickly back to Davey who gets two off a chop from Edwards. Zema adds in a knee from the apron but Davey grabs him by the head and knocks him to the apron.

The distraction lets E get in a cheap shot and the heels take over for the first time. Zema stomps away before it’s back to Robbie for an elbow to the jaw. Heel miscommunication puts the Bro Mans down and it’s hot tag to Joe who cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives to the floor as Joe makes Zema tap with the Clutch at 5:37.

Rating: C. This was fine though I’ve never been big on the Wolves. I was hoping the Bro Mans would be allowed to be a bit more serious, but at the end of the day they’re a comedy team so this is what you had to expect. I’d be fine with the Wolves becoming Tag Team Champions but it was nice to have a non-champion take the fall here.

Velvet Sky begs Dixie to avoid a match with Chris Sabin but gets turned down. MVP isn’t cool with that but Dixie reminds him that he’s not a wrestler. Spud laughs at him, but MVP says he’s got his gear and faces Spud next.

We recap Eric Young vs. Joseph Park/Abyss. This would be the first non-Dixie related segment of the entire show and we’re halfway done.

Here’s Abyss without the mask to call out Eric Young to see what he’s done. Abyss is under a hood like Kane was after he lost his mask back in 2003. Eric stops at ringside but Abyss asks him to come closer unless he’s afraid. Young gets in the ring and says last week he proved all he needed to prove. Park asked him to find Abyss and that’s what he did. Abyss holds up the mask and says it’s the reality of what he did last week. The hood comes back and Park says he is Abyss but Young cuts him off and says he showed Park who he is.

Park shouts at Eric and asks who either of them are because Young doesn’t know. Abyss has destroyed his body and the lives and careers of others. The scars and blood tell his story but he can’t be that man anymore. The violence and destruction have to stop but Young says he can help him. Abyss screams that he doesn’t want Eric’s help and that he needs to find someone who understands him. He drops the mask and walks away.

Earlier today Samuel Shaw tried to help Christy with her luggage but she’s nervous. He agrees to keep it professional and takes off his glove to shake her hand. Shaw looks at his hand and slowly gets on the bus.

MVP vs. Spud

That was a nice fifteen minute break but now it’s back to Dixieland. Spud stalls on the floor before the bell while MVP lounges on the top rope. MVP goes after him but Spud gets in a cheap shot on the way back in to get things going. He pounds away but makes the mistake of slapping the boss in the face. A facebuster sets up the Ballin Elbow and the Drive By kick to the head for the pin at :59. That’s exactly what it should have been.

Bobby Roode is furiously looking for Dixie.

We get a creepy promo of a guy in the woods holding a black and white umbrella, wearing a black and white mask and dressed all in black. He recites poetry and is apparently named Willow. Apparently this was Jeff Hardy in a new gimmick.

Dixie is on the phone when Roode comes in, demanding a title shot. He doesn’t like being called a sore loser and says she doesn’t want him against her.

Chris Sabin vs. Velvet Sky

Sabin offers her a free shot because this is what Velvet has always wanted. Velvet kicks him in the knee and goes for the groin but Sabin is wearing a cup. Like an idiot though he takes it out to show off and gets hit low again, allowing Velvet to pound away. Cue a big woman with a bleach blonde mohawk over dark hair to destroy Velvet with a full nelson. Sabin is very pleased. No match obviously.

Ray goes into Anderson’s dressing room and looks through his stuff, including the pictures on his phone. He calls Anderson’s wife and says this is the phone call she’s been dreading her entire life. Ray says “no, not yet, but he’s coming home in a coffin. Tell the twins daddy says goodbye.”

Roode is in the back and says he lost it and that this has to come to an end. It’s over and he can’t take this anymore. He has his jacket and bag with him, saying he might have something for next week. Security comes in and says he has to leave which Roode does without incident.

We recap Ray vs. Anderson in the casket match. Ray is angry at Anderson for ending Aces and 8’s and has gotten far more serious as a result, even threatening Anderson’s children.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Casket match. Anderson has some of the ugliest green tights I’ve ever seen. Ray takes off his shirt and reveals what I believe is a Liverpool jersey to anger the fans. Anderson takes him down and sends him into the corner before dropping him with a neckbreaker. The jersey is ripped off and stomped on by Anderson before they head outside. Mr. spends too much time deciding where to throw his shirt and Ray gets in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Anderson using a chair to knock a chair into Ray’s face and sliding in a table. Anderson is bleeding from the mouth and Ray kicks him in the face to take over. Ray rubs the blood on his own face and pounds at the cut before throwing the casket into the ring. Anderson gets crotched on top and superplexed back down but Ray can’t get the lid on the casket.

Ray raises up a chair to crush Anderson but a low blow stops him cold. Instead he powerbombs Anderson through the table and earns a THIS IS AWESOME chant. Ray loads up a piledriver in the casket but Anderson counters into a Mic Check and puts on the lid for the win at 12:50. The lid didn’t actually close but it was close enough.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but after all the garbage we’ve had to sit through tonight I’ll take anything. Ray has been an awesome heel throughout this story and I would have liked it more if he had won, but the company is dying for top faces at this point and Anderson is as good as anyone else they could use.

In the back we get even more Dixie vs. MVP with Carter offering him a buyout. She offers him a contract and MVP is impressed but says no. Dixie calls him crazy and MVP says he’s a wrestler so there might be somet truth to that. A proposal is made for Lockdown: Lethal Lockdown with Team MVP vs. Team Dixie for total control of the company. Dixie keeps up her Stephanie McMahon style acting and finally agrees.

Overall Rating: D. Impact wrestling is a two hour show. Tonight, approximately an hour and a half were spent on Dixie Carter vs. MVP or something directly related to that story. Here’s what wasn’t related to it: Eric Young/Abyss segment (8 minutes), Christy Hemme/Shaw segment (2 minutes), Ray vs. Anderson (13 minutes), Sabin vs. Sky (5 minutes) and the Willow promo (1 minute). That’s it. That’s everything on the show that wasn’t related to a single storyline.

Even Immortal didn’t make Impact that much about themselves and I didn’t think things could get worse than that. Dixie vs. MVP is fine for a story, but you need SOMETHING that isn’t related to or a result of that story. There’s some interesting stuff in TNA, but the same story being pounded into our heads like this make it a lot less interesting to sit through.

Results

Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner went to a no contest

James Storm/Gunner b. Ethan Carter III/Magnus – Gunner pulled down the briefcases

Wolves/Samoa Joe b. Zema Ion/Bro Mans – Koquina Clutch to Ion

MVP b. Spud – Drive By

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check into a casket

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