This year fits the show’s weird history.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-makes-summerslam-sense/

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2022
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re well on the way to Summerslam and that means the card is mostly set. I’m curious to see what that means we are going to be seeing added to the show, as that can often be more interesting than seeing things built up even more. If nothing else, Brock Lesnar is here tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap from Smackdown with Roman Reigns saying things pick up when the Big Dog comes around.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going. Brock says God bless Texas and even takes his hat off to show some manners. Reigns talks about how Roman Reigns has been living high on the hog and at Summerslam, the hog is being slaughtered, like Lesnar does on his ranch. Violence is promised, but here is Paul Heyman to interrupt. Lesnar: “Speak of the hog.” Heyman talks about how Lesnar is a monster, but the fans say Heyman sucks. Lesnar asks if Heyman is going to say anything worthwhile, sending Heyman into a rant about how this match plays into Lesnar’s hands.

We hear about how Lesnar is a killer and someone who will destroy everything. Reigns is approaching 700 days as Universal Champion and that is a streak Lesnar won’t break. Heyman will have Reigns ready, even if that means reaching up Lesnar’s a** and ripping out his heart. Lesnar isn’t sure what to make of that but here is Theory to interrupt. Theory promises to win the title at Summerslam, but Lesnar tells him to come down here and let’s do it right now.

We see a clip of Lesnar beating Theory up in the Elimination Chamber, which Theory says is what could happen to Reigns. It could happen to Lesnar too, and here is the Alpha Academy for a distraction. Chad Gable’s chop block just annoys him and the ring is cleared out with no trouble. Lesnar F5’s Otis through the announcers’ table for a bonus. And that’s how Brock Lesnar is used this week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finn Balor

Damian Priest and Rey Mysterio are here too and before the match, Priest says that the Mysterios being attacked last week was one for the old guys. Now Rey has nothing to offer Dominik but an ugly mask and some old, tired tricks that aren’t even his. The offer is tossed out to join the Judgment Day again but Dominik turns them down. Balor points out what happens to people they don’t like and we see the beatdown on Edge from a few weeks ago. Balor calls Rey a bad father and the villains are cleared out without much trouble.

As for the actual match, we’re joined in progress after a break with Balor choking on the ropes until Rey is back with a kick to the floor. The big dive connects but Balor is back up with a backbreaker to take over again. Rey fights back but gets caught on top with a shot to the knee.

Said knee is fine enough to send Balor outside for a sliding sunset bomb into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a super hurricanrana for two, despite having one good leg. The 619 connects but Balor avoids the frog splash. Rey crucifixes him for two but Balor is back with something close to 1916. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a great match but Balor vs. Rey is going to work just because of the two people involved. There is so much talent involved that it will be fine enough, which is about what we got here. What matters is continuing the story, which could mean the end of Dominik and that is a very promising world.

Post match Dominik checks on Rey as Judgment Day looks down at both of them.

Here is Becky Lynch before the Raw Women’s Title match. She gets on the announcers’ table and rants about how she should have gotten her rematch but didn’t have a shortcut like Liv Morgan or a title shot like Carmella is getting tonight. Lynch gets where she goes because she is that good and works that hard, so tonight she is DEMANDING the title shot at Summerslam.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Belair is defending and drives Carmella into the corner without much trouble to start. They go outside with Belair sending her into the corner, only to stop to yell at Lynch as we take a break. Back with Carmella grabbing a figure four necklock across the ropes. Carmella goes up, only to get pulled out of the air and caught with a delayed vertical suplex for two. The trade rollups for two each and Belair hits a double chickenwing facebuster.

Raised knees block the handspring moonsault though and Carmella rolls her up for two more. The low superkick is countered into a faceplant on the turnbuckle but the KOD is countered into an X Factor (nice) for another near fall. Belair is back with a clothesline, only to get caught with a spinebuster. Carmella low bridges her to the floor, where Carmella rakes her eyes. That earns her a posting and Belair throws her back inside. Cue Becky for the distraction so Belair gets counted out at 11:47.

Rating: C. Of course they did. Of course they did. Of course they have to keep Carmella in this spot, meaning she is probably going to get a title match at Summerslam out of all this stuff. I’m sure Becky vs. Bianca is coming, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see Carmella added somehow. Pretty good match here, but the result is pretty awful.

Post match Carmella holds up the title until Belair finally punches her in the chest. The KOD plants Carmella, because THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE SINCE A CLEAN WIN MEANS NOTHING!

Here’s the same creepy vignette from the last few weeks.

We look back at Miz and Ciampa joining forces to beat down AJ Styles.

Here are Miz and Ciampa for MizTV. Ciampa wants to open eyes around here and Miz can help him do that better than anyone else. This sends Miz into a rant about Logan Paul, who has posted a video saying that he is still coming for Miz. That doesn’t work for Miz, who offers Paul one more chance to be his partner, or he’ll just team with Ciampa to win the titles.

Cue AJ Styles to say Miz has found someone to do his dirty work, which sounds like the actions of someone with…..Miz: “DON’T YOU DARE!” AJ calls him a coward….with tiny, tiny testicles. Styles clears the ring and here is Ezekiel to interrupt. His brother Elias talks about how Styles really is phenomenal. He was almost as insistent about that as he was about Miz having tiny testicles. Ezekiel has been talking to Adam Pearce and the scheduled handicap match is now going to be a tag match.

Ezekiel/AJ Styles vs. Ciampa/Miz

Joined in progress with Ciampa working on Ezekiel, who comes back with some shots to the face. Miz comes in and gets knocked down as well, meaning it’s back to Ciampa, who gets suplexed for his efforts. A cheap shot from the apron puts Ezekiel in trouble though and Ciampa sends him into the barricade, setting up the pat on the back.

We take a break and come back with Ezekiel fighting out of Ciampa’s chinlock and slugging his way out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Styles to clean house, including a gutbuster for two on Miz. The short DDT plants AJ but the fireman’s carry neckbreaker gives Styles two, with Ciampa making the save. AJ puts on the calf Crusher until Ciampa makes another save, this time hammering on Styles until it’s a DQ at 11:32.

Rating: C-. Well I guess it’s better than Ciampa taking another pin. I’m not sure how much better it is to have Ciampa in this team than in anything else but at least he has something to do. Still though, actually having him get a win that matters would be better, though I’m not sure if that is something that is actually going to happen. So call it an upgrade? Maybe?

Post match AJ hits Ciampa with the slingshot forearm to the floor as Miz bails.

Riddle talks to Bobby Lashley about their tag match with Seth Rollins and Theory later tonight. Before that, maybe they can watch Stranger Things together so Riddle doesn’t get scared! Lashley is going to go warm up instead.

Alexa Bliss/Asuka vs. Doudrop/Nikki Ash

Asuka knocks Ash down without much trouble to start and it’s off to Bliss for some rollups. Doudrop comes in off a blind tag though and runs Bliss over. Some forearms allow Ash to come back in for a quickly broken chinlock. Bliss avoids a charge in the corner, allowing Asuka to come back in and strike away at Doudrop. Asuka knees Ash out of the air and adds the sliding kick for two. Back in and Bliss hits her DDT to pin Ash at 4:12.

Rating: C-. The good thing here is that they didn’t have this go on too long, as there was little doubt about who was winning. Bliss has been on a roll since being back and Asuka is Asuka, meaning there isn’t much for Doudrop and Ash to do. This was one of those “get them on the show” matches and that’s fine for a short one.

We look back at the Street Profits getting a shoulder up against the Usos at Money In The Bank but losing anyway.

Jimmy Uso vs. Angelo Dawkins

Jey Uso and Montez Ford are here too. Before the match, the Usos brag about how great they are. This brings out the Street Profits to be rather serious and say that they’re going to win at Summerslam because they want the smoke. And now here’s R-Truth, to say he needs to serve as counselor here. That isn’t going to work for the Usos, unless R-Truth can be the referee for the Summerslam rematch.

Well……actually he is a certified WWE referee so he demonstrates refereeing abilities. Jimmy calls R-Truth a clown, so R-Truth is ready to fight. A handicap match is set up, but now it’s Omos and MVP interrupting. MVP thinks Omos should be the referee, but R-Truth doesn’t think Omos can count to ten. MVP: “Neither can you Truth.” The Profits are in and R-Truth is in, complete with a REMEMBER THE ALAMO (which Riddle said tonight too), so Omos and the Usos knock everyone down without much trouble.

Usos/Omos vs. R-Truth/Street Profits

R-Truth gets caught in the corner to start with all three villains getting in a forearm or two. Some shots out of the corner get R-Truth out of trouble and he flips out of a belly to back suplex. The Profits come in without a tag and hit stereo dropkicks, sending the Usos to the floor. Some dives hit the Usos (though Dawkins mostly crashes in a NASTY landing) but Omos pulls R-Truth out of the air and drops him on the apron to take over.

We take a break and come back with Omos still working on R-Truth as a power giant should. Jey comes in and gets knocked down, allowing the hot tag off to Ford. House is cleaned, including an enziguri to put Omos on the floor. Omos gets posted and a Doomsday Device (back elbow instead of a clothesline) gets two on Jimmy with Jey making a save. Dawkins hits the spinebuster but Omos tags himself in for the chokebomb and the pin at 11:30.

Rating: C+. It was a bit random, but I will absolutely take this over another singles match between one of the Profits and an Uso. There is no need to keep doing that same thing so mixing it up with some fresh faces is a good idea. I’m not sure if Dawkins needed to take the fall when R-Truth was right there but Omos getting the pin at all is good enough.

Seth Rollins is ready for tonight’s tag match but he doesn’t think much of Riddle attacking him last week. Riddle is just a bro that Randy Orton felt sorry for and now there is no Randy to hide behind. Rollins moves on to talking about Cody Rhodes but here is Theory to ask for Money In The Bank cash-in advice. That works for Rollins and they go off for a chat.

Creepy vignette again.

We look at Miz calling out Logan Paul again earlier tonight.

Paul has responded and wants Miz one on one at Summerslam. He’ll be here next week and (with eyes bugging out) it’ll be AWESOME!

Bobby Lashley/Riddle vs. Seth Rollins/Theory

Rollins knocks Riddle down and drops a knee to start before handing it off to Theory. Some rapid fire kicks in the corner drop Theory and it’s Lashley coming in for a change. A DDT to Rollins and a Downward Spiral to Theory at the same time gets two so Riddle comes back in. Everything breaks down and Rollins is sent outside for a ram into the post….and we have Dolph Ziggler?

We take a break and come back with Rollins hitting a reverse superplex on Riddle for a near fall. Theory comes in but charges into a choke from Riddle. That’s enough for the tag back to Lashley so house can be cleaned. A forearm to the back of the head cuts him off though and Rollins adds a frog splash for two. It’s back to Riddle for the Randy Orton comeback on Theory as Lashley spears Rollins through the barricade. Theory blocks the RKO and rolls Riddle up with feet on the ropes, only to have Ziggler (Remember him?) shove them off. The RKO gives Riddle the pin on Theory at 13:40.

Rating: C+. I kind of like the ending as Theory doesn’t have anything specific going on other than teasing a cash in, so give him some kind of a match at Summerslam instead. It isn’t like Ziggler has been around in the better part of ever anyway so bring him back in for something like this. Good enough match too, with the twist helping a bit.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Theory to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was the kind of show that felt long and then went even longer than that. There was some good action here and there, but for the most part it felt like a show where they were trying to fill in as much time as they could. Summerslam got a bit of a build, but the show was rather uninteresting and there wasn’t much worth getting excited about here.

Results
Finn Balor b. Rey Mysterio – Coup de Grace
Carmella b. Bianca Belair via countout
Ezekiel/AJ Styles b. Miz/Ciampa via DQ when Ciampa wouldn’t stop attacking Styles
Alexa Bliss/Asuka b. Doudrop/Nikki Ash – DDT to Ash
Omos/Usos b. R-Truth/Street Profits – Chokebomb to Dawkins
Riddle/Bobby Lashley b. Theory/Seth Rollins – RKO to Theory

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two
Date: April 3, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 78,453
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith
America The Beautiful: Jesse James Decker

We’re back for night two and that means the other half of the card gets their chance (plus one match from the original night because of timing issues). The main event is the latest biggest match ever as Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar have their unification match to make one World Title for all of…eh maybe they make it to Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

Note that I was in attendance for this show, sitting in the third level off the floor in the end zone corner with the stage on my right.

Jesse Jane Decker sings America the Beautiful.

We get a recap from last night.

Mark Wahlberg narrates the opening video, but unlike last year it’s a fresh one for the second night. Wahlberg talks about how it is tough to do it again so we’re running Wrestlemania back. He hypes up the main event to wrap it up. Again, just having a star do this makes it feel more important.

Here is HHH for a surprise appearance to get things going. After taking a long time to soak it all in (fair) and hugging his daughters in the front row (also fair), he puts his boots in the middle of the ring to confirm his. He does have one thing for us though: WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA! More daughter hugging ensues.

Gable Steveson is presented to the crowd. Again.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

RKBro is defending and these teams have been fighting back and forth for weeks. The champs also have what sounds like a mash up of their themes and that isn’t the best idea. Ford, Riddle and Gable start things off, with the latter giving us some SHUSHING. That doesn’t go well for Riddle, who knocks Gable outside and rolls Ford up for an early two. Ford is back with a running clothesline to drop Riddle but Gable is back in to go after Ford as well.

Everything breaks down and Otis clears the ring without much trouble. The six way staredown leads to three brawls at once but quickly settles down to Ford vs. Gable. That works for Ford, who hits a HUGE running flip dive over the top onto the pile. Gable adds a moonsault onto the same pile and everyone is down on the floor. Back in and Otis runs Riddle over before hitting a splash for no cover, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea. Instead Otis knocks Riddle into the corner and brings Gable back in for two off a northern lights suplex.

Ford comes in with a dropkick to Gable, who monkey flips him over and onto Ford’s own face for two. It’s off to Dawkins to clean house and cover Riddle for two, with Otis hitting a splash to break it up. Riddle knees his way out of an ankle lock and gives Dawkins a Bro To Sleep (that’ll get some reactions), allowing the hot tag off to Orton. Everything breaks down and Orton drops Gable and Dawkins onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and RKBro hits stereo hanging DDTs onto the Profits but the Academy makes stereo saves. The Academy hits a Steiner Bulldog for two on Ford but Otis’ Vader Bomb is broken up. The Profits get Gable up for a Doomsday Blockbuster and another near fall as the fans declare this awesome. Orton can’t RKO Dawkins, who gives him the Sky High. Ford goes up for the frog splash but Riddle springboards in with the RKO to pull him back down. Orton pulls Gable out of the air with another RKO for the pin to retain the titles at 11:30.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as the fans love RKBro and the action made it a very entertaining match. It also didn’t overstay its welcome and got out after getting its stuff in. RKBro retaining works here, but that split is coming and it is going to be a heck of a hot feud if they do it right.

Post match the Profits offer RKBro some yum yum juice, but hold on as Gable Steveson is invited in too. Chad doesn’t like that and cuts them off, slapping the cup from Steveson’s hand. That’s too far for everyone else, so Chad is left alone with Steveson. The belly to belly suplex sends Chad flying and drinking ensues. Steveson had to start somewhere.

Remember last night? It happened.

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Omos issued a challenge and Lashley accepted it. Lashley’s kick to the ribs is easily blocked and Omos forearms him down without much trouble. Lashley fights back and tries a suplex, which doesn’t work either. A head vice is broken up so Omos forearms Lashley down again. Some running splashes in the corner connect but Omos misses another one, allowing Lashley to try a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

Omos gives him a gorilla press drop and tells Lashley to get up so the bearhug can go on. A drive into the corner sets up another bearhug but Lashley slugs his way out. More slugging sets up a suplex to drop Omos and a spear to the back does it again. The regular spear finishes for Lashley at 6:32.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? You build Omos up as this unstoppable force and then just have him lose clean in a six and a half minute match? Lashley getting a big win is nice to see and he’s probably in the title picture already, but Omos losing is going to take away just about everything he had. He’ll be around, probably as a bodyguard again, but if they want him as a singles guy (which they might not), this was bizarre. It wasn’t a very good match either, as Omos did a bunch of basic power guy stuff which is hardly interesting.

WWE does charity stuff.

We recap Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn. Knoxville decided he wanted to wrestle but Zayn didn’t like it. This set off a way of pranks/general annoyances, including Zayn eliminating Knoxville from the Royal Rumble and Knoxville putting Zayn’s phone number on a banner in Los Angeles. A match must ensue.

Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn

Anything goes and some of Knoxville’s Jackass friends are in the front row (popular place to be tonight). Zayn wastes no time in hitting the Helluva Kick and knocking Knoxville to the floor where more stomping can ensue. That isn’t enough as Zayn goes after the Jackass crew, allowing Knoxville to spray him with a fire extinguisher. Knoxville busts out some of the weapons but Zayn hits him in the back with the cookie sheet.

A crutch shot does it again and Zayn throws a trashcan at him for two, allowing commentary to get in some Sanford And Sons references. It’s table time…but this one has mousetraps all over it, because of course it does. That takes too long though and Knoxville is back with some trashcan lids to the head. A regular table is loaded up in the corner but Zayn suplexes him through it for two.

The Helluva Kick is cut off by a blast from an air horn, allowing….some other Jackass guy (Party Boy Pawnius?) to come in and take his clothes off. Zayn knocks him outside and kicks him underneath the ring, only to have Wee Man (he’s small) come out and beat Zayn up. Wee Man kicks away at Zayn and hits a slam, setting up a tornado DDT from Knoxville for two. It’s time to bring out something that appears to be a way to launch a boot for automatic low blows, meaning Zayn fights out to break it up.

Zayn goes up but Knoxville pulls out a remote to make pyro go out, causing Zayn to crotch himself. Knoxville grabs a bowling ball to crush Zayn low in the corner and now its taser time. Zayn runs…right into a giant hand which slaps him down. That’s too much for Zayn as he drops Knoxville and goes up, only to get crotched and thrown through the mousetrap table. Back in and Knoxville busts out….a giant mousetrap. Zayn is tased onto it and, after some effort, Knoxville gets it to go off and crush Zayn for the pin at 14:25 (ignore Zayn’s shoulders being on the trap rather than the mat).

Rating: C+. This is going to be a weird one. You know what this felt like? Home Alone as a wrestling match. Zayn was trying to do something but Knoxville busted out so many elaborate traps and pranks (read as violence) to stop him at every turn. Of course Knoxville’s friends were here as they should have been in a situation like this, but it’s much more a big stunt show than a match.

It’s also a good case of something not being for me but having an impact. The stadium was ROCKING during this match and the energy was very high. I don’t watch Jackass and the concept is REALLY not something I care for but the reaction was there and that is why these guys were brought in. Whether it made business sense is hard to tell, but a lot of the fans loved this and that is enough to carry it beyond….whatever it was.

Remember Drew McIntyre beating Happy Corbin and cutting the ropes up with his sword? It happened last night.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina

Carmella/Zelina are defending and Naomi/Banks come out in a VERY expensive looking car. Ripley/Morgan have a Batman or Catwoman theme going to at least have something in common. Corey wastes no time in praising Carmella, who is in part of a wedding dress for her entrance gear.

Carmella masks up so Ripley wants to face her. That brings Carmella in but she hands it off to Banks, who actually tries a test of strength with Ripley. With that not working, Banks tries a Backstabber, which falls apart too. Everything breaks down and some dives leave us with Banks vs. Morgan. A Codebreaker staggers Banks and Oblivion drops her but Natalya tags herself in for a save. Baszler comes in to stomp on Morgan’s ankle until an enziguri breaks it up.

Carmella tags herself in as well and everything breaks down and it’s time for the parade of finishers. Ripley’s superbomb is countered into a hurricanrana from Carmella and we get stereo Towers of Doom out of the corners, leaving everyone down again. Back up and Morgan knocks Naomi into Riptide for two with a save being made.

Baszler’s running knee to Naomi’s face gets two with Morgan making the save this time. Carmella superkicks Baszler and Naomi for two each, meaning screaming ensues. Back up and Naomi kicks Carmella in the face, setting up Banks’ frog splash for two. Banks hits a Meteora to drop Zelina on the floor and Naomi elevates Carmella for a Codebreaker from Banks for the pin and the titles at 10:48.

Rating: D+. This was all over the place and as usual, there is no reason to care about these teams. They were thrown together and given next to no story other than “we want the titles too”. I was having trouble remembering who was on what team as they might as well have drawn names from a hat. In other words, it’s a WWE Women’s Tag Team Title match.

Remember Miz and Logan Paul beating the Mysterios and then splitting up after? It happened last night.

Some Dallas Cowboys are here to a mixed reaction.

We recap Edge vs. AJ Styles. Edge wanted someone to step up so Styles did, with Edge saying he wanted the bulldog version of Styles. Then Edge went nuts and beat down Styles with a Conchairto, putting Styles out of action for a few weeks. Now Styles is back for revenge.

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Styles comes to the ring with a pretty nasty cut on the side of his face that has commentary (and me) confused. Edge appears on an elevated throne sitting on a slightly burning platform, which is at least a cool visual (though I thought it was a statue in the stadium). Styles backs him into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. The drop down into the dropkick sets up some armdrags to put Edge in trouble and some kicks to the leg make it worse.

We settle down a bit with some staring before Edge gets sent to the floor. That lets Styles hit a sliding knee but the springboard 450 only hits knees back inside. Edge starts going after the ribs as the pace slows down a lot. The abdominal stretch is broken up but Edge takes him down with a shoulder breaker to change up the pace. Styles hits a right hand but seems to have to stop and pop his shoulder back in. A suplex sends Edge hard into the corner and they’re both down again.

Edge grabs a double arm crank but has to avoid the Styles Clash. That works out well enough for him though as it’s off to an STF to put Styles in more trouble, though he’s straight over to the rope. A slingshot DDT plants Edge for two, though he’s fine enough to catch Styles on top. Styles slips out and gets a torture rack, which he swings over into a powerbomb for two more. Back up and Styles snaps off a German suplex and they’re both down again.

Styles wins the slugout and adds a Pele kick, setting up the Calf Crusher. Edge reverses that into the Crossface so Styles gets to the ropes again. A slingshot Batista Bomb gives Edge two so they both go up top. This time Styles superplexes him down onto the apron, because WE MUST HAVE AN APRON SPOT.

Now the springboard 450 connects on Edge’s back for a delayed two and they need a breather. Back up and Edge misses the spear, setting up the Styles Clash for two more. With nothing else working, the Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up….and here is Damian Priest for a distraction. Styles tries the Forearm but gets speared out of the air to give Edge the pin at 24:32.

Rating: B-. The action was good, but there were so many delays between that action that it was hard to build anything up. It felt like a main event level match and Styles was hardly crushed, but the Saturday version was much better with Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes doing a similar match. This was by no means bad, but it needed to be about eight minutes shorter to cut out a lot of the down time between moves.

Post match Edge and Priest stare at each other, pose and then leave together.

Tonight’s attendance is 78,453, though the announcer says 77,453. Get it together people.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. New Day

Butch is here with the villains. We see the Big E. injury during the entrances, which isn’t something that should be aired that often (by which I mean ever). In a great touch, New Day wears Big E. style singlets, even in the colors Big E. was wearing when he won the WWE Title. Sheamus and Holland jump them during the entrances and rip off the coats, leaving Butch to throw them around.

Trouble in Paradise hits Holland for two at the bell but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus has to keep Butch from going nuts though, leaving Woods to drop Holland. The Brogue Kick drops Kingston and Butch distracts the referee so Sheamus can Brogue Woods as well. Holland’s Northern Grit finishes woods at 1:39. So Holland (unintentionally) injures Big E. and then gets the pin here, as Butch is now some near feral boy? Right.

Post match Butch has to be pulled off of Woods again, because Pete Dunne is now a crazy man who needs supervision.

Remember when Cody Rhodes returned and beat Seth Rollins? It happened last night.

We honor the Hall of Fame inductees again…including the Undertaker coming out to wave to the crowd. This is the same thing he did last night and here it is again. On a show that is going to be about eight hours combined over two nights, this gets five minutes.

You can bet on the main event!

You can buy Undertaker gear!

You can watch Yellowstone on Peacock!

Long recap of Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory, which was set up when Vince McMahon told McAfee he could have a match. Then Theory started messing with McAfee, who got serious. For some reason, this required Theory to beat both the United States and Intercontinental Champion but show no interest in winning either title. We do get some very cool clips of McAfee training before he came to WWE, just because he wanted to. That’s some serious dedication, and a Rip Rogers cameo always helps.

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce Theory, his new….protege? I guess? McAfee on the other hand gets an introduction from the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and even punts a football into the crowd during his entrance. McAfee punches him down to start but Theory comes out of the corner with a shot to the throat. A jumping elbow out of the corner and a hurricanrana get McAfee out of trouble as Vince isn’t pleased at ringside.

Theory is back with a snap suplex and then he does it again for a bonus. The third attempt is blocked though and McAfee hits one of his own. They go outside where McAfee does the Rock’s commentary on his own match bit, including a mention of his parents. Back in and McAfee takes WAY too long setting up a Swanton and crashes down hard.

Theory goes up top but McAfee cuts him off and tries a superplex. That’s broken up so McAfee backflips off the top and lands on his feet, only to jump back to the top for the superplex (dang) and a near fall as Cole is WAY behind McAfee here. The Punt misses though and Theory knocks him down again. Theory loads up the ATL…and gets reversed into a rollup to give McAfee the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. That’s on quite the sliding scale as McAfee is in his third WWE match and hasn’t been in the ring in well over a year. I know Theory is going to be fine and it’s a special situation, but this doesn’t exactly make him pinning Finn Balor and Ricochet look very worthwhile. Again though, the fans were WAY into this and that’s all that matters in this case. Not a great match, but McAfee has put in the work and looked competent out there.

Post match Vince glares at Theory and looks up at McAfee….who challenges McMahon for a fight right now. Vince takes off the jacket and shirt, revealing his signature wrestling look (which matches McAfee). Cole is panicking as Vince gets in the ring but then gets even worse when a referee shows up.

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

Austin Theory jumps McAfee from behind to start so McMahon hits some clotheslines. McAfee gets fired up though and stares at Vince…until Austin pulls him down and crotches him against the post. Theory isn’t done though as he throws Vince a football. Vince teases punting it into the crowd before punting it into McAfee’s ribs (that didn’t really work, though I don’t think it was supposed to be anything more than a final insult) for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D+. This was barely a match (Vince wasn’t touched) and I thought about not even rating it. McAfee gets cheated out of the win but much like last night in the main event, the point of this is having him in the same ring as a legend like McMahon. This is probably going to be (and should be) Vince’s last match ever so there is definitely some awesome historical significance, but it was just Vince hitting some clotheslines and taunting. That being said, WHY DID THEY NOT ANNOUNCE THIS IN ADVANCE??? At least Austin made it clear that a fight was coming, but Vince wasn’t even listed in Theory’s corner.

Post match Theory gets to pose and we have the big hug. Theory’s music starts and Vince panics, which is a warmup for CUE GLASS SHATTER as Steve Austin is here (as you might have guessed). Theory goes after him and gets punched into the corner to set up the Stunner. That leaves Austin alone with Vince, meaning it’s time to get scared. Beer is offered though and Vince accepts, despite looking terrified.

They drink together until Austin tries the Stunner, which goes horribly, horribly wrong. Vince basically falls down and then into the ropes, bounces back, and then goes down first, leaving Austin to land on Vince’s legs. Look this up, as it was so bad that I was unable to speak from laughter. Austin has some beers with McAfee, who gets Stunned as well. The big beer bash is on, with McAfee being shown sneaking in a drink while down on the floor. This was one more farewell for Austin, though it’s a good thing the timekeeper had that much beer around.

Remember when Bianca Belair beat Becky Lynch to win the Raw Women’s Title in a pretty great match? It happened last night.

Wrestlemania XXXIX is in Los Angeles.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in the World Title unification match. They have been fighting for months (this time, as it’s really more like years) and now it is decided that there can only be one World Champion. Reigns and the Usos laid Lesnar out in Madison Square Garden to make this even more serious/personal. What better place than right here?

Universal Title/WWE Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner take all and Reigns has Paul Heyman with him for a very long entrance. Reigns also gets to tell Wrestlemania to acknowledge him so we can get in another catchphrase before we actually start. Hold on again as we need Big Match intros, with Heyman and Lesnar taking care of the work.

Lesnar hammers away to start and drives Reigns into the corner for some shoulders to ribs. Three overhead belly to belly suplexes have Reigns in more trouble and they head outside. That means Heyman has to panic (Heyman: “I love you! It was all Reigns’ idea!”), which is enough of a distraction for Reigns to sear Lent through the barricade (as tends to happen a lot). Back in and Reigns hits the spear for two, followed by the Superman Punch.

That’s too far for Lesnar, who starts rolling the released German suplexes. Lesnar is holding his ribs, but keeps coming back because this is serious. Another German suplex is countered into another Superman Punch and Lesnar is rocked again. Reigns tries another spear but gets reversed into the F5 for two more.

Another F5 is countered with a rake to the eyes and Reigns knocks Lesnar into the referee. A low blow and belt shot cut Lesnar down for two and frustration is setting in. The spear hits Lesnar in the back so Reigns tries it again, only to get pulled into the Kimura. The rope (which is shoved forward by Heyman) is grabbed for the break but they’re both down. Reigns says it’s out, meaning his shoulder, but comes back with a spear for the pin and the unified titles at 12:14.

Rating: C+. This was a slightly extended version of the stereotypical match that these guys have. You had an exchange of finishers and then someone won, which might be a bit exciting but has been done to death in recent years. Reigns winning was hardly a surprise, but it would have been nicer to see it come in a match with some more drama or intrigue instead of the same formula Lesnar has used for so long.

Reigns poses with Heyman and the titles as Lesnar glares at them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t a disaster like last year’s night two, but this was just ok for the most part. The biggest flaw should be obvious: the amount of time that this show spends on recaps or ANYTHING but getting to the matches advertised. I don’t need to see the matches from last night in fairly long recaps, as I was there to see the show live. Contrary to what WWE thinks, it might be a good idea to cut some things out, but that might not let them fill in so much time that they can brag about later.

As for the wrestling itself, nothing really stands out. There are some good matches, but nothing that is really worth going out of your way to see (your individual mousetrap enjoyment may vary). The show felt like such a rehash of last night, with Austin and Undertaker getting that much time each. It isn’t terrible, but I had fun with the first night and this felt like a followup that you didn’t need to watch.

Overall Overall Rating: B-. Overall, the lesson here continues to be simple: Wrestlemania does not need to be a two night event as WWE does not have the amount of content necessary to make it work. There is SO MUCH FILLER on here that it feels like it could have been trimmed down by about four hours. They hit about eight hours combined, and that isn’t even counting in the four hours of Kickoff Shows.

Now that being said, there is more than enough good in here to make it a show worth seeing (or at least flipping through). This year was all about Austin, Undertaker and McMahon, with Reigns vs. Lesnar feeling almost secondary to what Austin was doing. That won’t sit well with some, but the atmosphere for Austin makes up for so much. Trim it down and it’s great, but as it is, it’s just good.

Results
RKBro b. Street Profits and Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Bobby Lashley b. Omos – Spear
Johnny Knoxville b. Sami Zayn – Knoxville pinned Zayn while he was trapped in a giant mousetrap
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley, Natalya/Shayna Baszler and Carmella/Queen Zelina – Elevated Codebreaker to Carmella
Edge b. AJ Styles – Spear
Ridge Holland/Sheamus b. New Day – Northern Grit to Woods
Pat McAfee b. Austin Theory – Rollup
Vince McMahon b. Pat McAfee – Football to the ribs
Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar – Spear

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXVI Night Two
Date: April 5, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second half of one of the weirdest shows ever and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. Even a year later, this show is mostly forgotten outside of the main event and I’m curious to see how the rest of it holds up. I was actually surprised by some of what’s on the card as it has completely escaped me over the last year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Natalya vs. Liv Morgan

You know, you don’t have to have a Kickoff Show match if this is as good as you can get. Natalya headlocks her down to start but lets it go for an early standoff. A rollup gives Morgan two and she gets some sarcastic applause for a bonus. Morgan ducks a clothesline with the Matrix and rolls her up for two more, allowing her to get in her own sarcastic applause.

Natalya is right back with her belly to back drop into the step over basement dropkick for two more. The surfboard goes on and Morgan screams a lot but she avoids a charge in the corner to grab another rollup. A Codebreaker gives Morgan two and Natalya’s sitout wheelbarrow faceplant gets the same. The Sharpshooter attempt is countered into a step up enziguri and Morgan grabs another rollup for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as it was going to get with Morgan trying one rollup after another to little avail until the ending. Morgan always seems like someone they want to push to the moon but can’t figure out how to get there. This win isn’t going to be some game changer, but at least they gave her something, even if this was nearly depressing as a way to start the night.

Stephanie McMahon gives us a quick welcome.

We get the same still pretty great pirate parody opening video.

Rob Gronkowski talks about knowing a thing or two about dropping the hammer on a championship Sunday.

NXT Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is defending and it’s a shame that she didn’t get the big moment after the pretty cool video of her walking into the empty Raymond James Stadium. We get the recap video after Charlotte’s entrance, as Charlotte won the Royal Rumble and Ripley threw her hat in the ring, meaning it was time for Charlotte to go after the NXT Women’s Title again. Ripley looks a bit weird in blue tights but Wrestlemania has had some strange choices over the year.

Charlotte takes her down to start and we hit the trash talk in a hurry. Ripley seems to be favoring her knee as they lock up and Charlotte drives her into the corner. The chops, with more trash talk, have Ripley in more trouble but she comes out with the Riptide for a quick two. That’s enough to send Charlotte outside for a breather so Ripley follows her out with an elbow to the face.

A flip dive off the steps takes Charlotte down again and Ripley sends her face first into the mat back inside. Ripley gets two more off a snap suplex and it’s time to kick Charlotte in the back. The bodyscissors stays on the ribs but Charlotte gets in a shot to the leg for a breather. Another kick to the knee has Ripley in trouble and Charlotte twists it around to make things even worse.

The leg is wrapped around the post but Ripley comes back with a belly to back faceplant. Ripley is back up with some good knees to the face, setting up a dropkick to a kneeling Charlotte. A lot of shouting at the knee drives Ripley on but Charlotte sends her to the apron for another kick to the knee. Ripley catches her on top for an electric chair faceplant but Charlotte hits her in the face. The knee to the knee in the corner misses though and Ripley scores with a missile dropkick, which bangs up the knee even more.

Charlotte is back up with a chop block but Ripley grabs the legs for the Prism Trap (such a cool name). That’s reversed into a Boston crab but Ripley powers out into a pinfall reversal sequence. Back up and Ripley scores with a big boot for two and frustration is setting in. Ripley takes her up top but gets shoved down, only to get the boots up to block the moonsault. Charlotte hits a spear for two so it’s time for the Figure Eight for the tap and the title at 20:27.

Rating: B+. This felt like a battle and a struggle, which is exactly how it should have felt. They made it feel important, but I really can’t get behind the idea of Charlotte winning here. It’s like she came in and showed NXT how little they mean compared to the main roster. Charlotte has won everything there is to win in WWE, so why did she need to win this too? Ripley needed this win a lot more than Charlotte, but that has never stopped WWE before.

Long video on night one.

Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley

Lana is here with Lashley and this might be the greatest example of “what a difference a year makes” in recent memory. Black has horns on his shoulders because of course he does. Lashley powers him around to start and then does it again to make his point clear. A leg dive doesn’t work for Black as Lashley supelxes him down and hammers away.

Lashley misses a charge and falls out to the floor but Black misses the middle rope moonsault, earning himself a suplex. There’s a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker to drop Black again. Black knees his way out of the delayed vertical suplex but Lashley snaps off a powerslam for two more.

Now the suplex can connect for two but Black is back with kicks to the legs. Another kick puts Lashley on the floor and now the middle rope moonsault connects. Back in and Lashley hits a crossbody of all things for two but Lana gets on the steps for no logical reason. The Dominator is loaded up but Lana demands a spear….which charges into Black Mass to give Black the pin at 7:16.

Rating: C. Not a bad back and forth match here but the ending didn’t do it many favors. Lana and Lashley was an idea that went on too long and pretty much never worked but WWE didn’t seem to get the idea for a good while. Then there’s Black and egads what happened with him? He had a nice push in the spring and summer but then it just all fell apart later on, because WWE. I don’t get it either, because he just pinned a big star clean here and then WWE just gave up.

Bayley and Sasha Banks aren’t worried about the five way tonight. They are united to keep Bayley’s Smackdown Women’s Title because they are best friends. Bayley leaves but when asked if she wants to win the title, Banks says we’ll see.

We look at Mojo Rawley winning the 24/7 Title last night.

Rob Gronkowski wants the 24/7 Title.

We recap Otis vs. Dolph Ziggler. Otis and Mandy Rose seem to have a thing for each other but Ziggler doesn’t get it. Then he and Sonya Deville got together to split them up before they could get together, with Mandy getting together with Ziggler instead. The Smackdown hacker intervened and shows the plot, meaning Mandy and Otis can be on the same page once Otis deals with Ziggler. Yeah this was kind of nuts but it was funny and oddly charming.

Otis vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sonya Deville is here with Ziggler, who is chased outside before the bell. Otis splashes him in the corner to start but Ziggler is right back with a superkick to the floor. A posting gives Ziggler two back inside and we hit the choke. There’s a dropkick for two more and the choking moves to the ropes this time. The jumping elbow sets up something like a rear naked choke, which Otis breaks up in a hurry. Otis starts the jiggling and hammers away, including the running clotheslines.

A slam lets Otis step on Ziggler’s back and a whip into the corner puts Ziggler down again. Otis sends him outside for a whip into the barricade, followed by a posting for a bonus. Back in and a pop up World’s Strongest Slam has Ziggler in trouble and Sonya demanding that he get up. A Sonya distraction lets Ziggler get in a low blow and they’re both down for a bit. Cue Mandy Rose (you knew this was coming) to slap Sonya and hit Ziggler low, setting up the Caterpillar to give Otis the pin at 8:09.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing beyond a Smackdown level match but I was stunned by the result. I really would never have bet that Otis would have beaten Ziggler so well done on the surprise ending and going the right way. There was no logical reason for Ziggler to win here, which was exactly why I would have expected it. Otis and Mandy were never going to be a long term angle, but for a one off moment, this was very well done.

Post match Otis picks Mandy up and they have their first kiss, which would have been a great moment with a crowd.

We recap Edge vs. Randy Orton. Edge returned in the Royal Rumble for the huge surprise, where he eliminated Orton. This made Orton ask if Edge wanted to reunited Rated RKO one more time, only to surprise Edge with a big beatdown. With Edge gone, Orton gave his wife Beth Phoenix an RKO, which was treated like the worst thing ever, because Beth went from a Hall of Famer to a damsel in distress. Orton explained that he was doing this to save Edge from turning into what Orton had become, even if it meant ending his career all over again. Makes wrestling sense and it set up a Last Man Standing match, so who am I to complain?

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Last Man Standing and dang it must be awful for Edge to put in all that work and his Wrestlemania entrance is in front of an empty building. Orton runs in from behind (thanks to the classic cameraman disguise) with the RKO and the referee has to ask Edge if he wants to do this. That’s an of course so Orton hits another RKO for an early nine. They head outside with Orton hitting him in the face with the camera for seven so let’s go backstage.

It’s off to the gym first with Orton using a strap from a gym machine (in a moment whose accidental significance went completely over my head live) to choke him but Edge gets back up and hits him with a chain. Edge hammers him onto a table and then into a chair to pound away even more. We go aerial as Edge grabs a machine and uses it to pull himself up and land on Orton in the chair. Edge shouts about nine years but gets whipped into a wall to put him down.

Orton can’t quite crush him with a sled so Edge sends him into some equipment. They fight into a rather narrow hallway where Orton goes face first into a garage door. That’s only good for six though as Edge wants to beat him up some more. It’s back into the arena now with Orton throwing Edge into the barricade. Edge uses said barricade to pull himself up at nine so it’s time to go backstage again, this time to the office area. They take turns ramming each other into a board room table until Edge sends him face first into a wall.

Orton is thrown onto the table and Edge pulls himself up on the….whatever the chain link stuff is above the table to drop an elbow. We lose a cameraman so another has to run in to catch them in a storage room. Orton staggers away with his left arm pretty banged up, but he is able to knock Edge onto an anvil case. They go through more stuff with Edge finding some chairs, which Orton throws away in a hurry. A whip into a bunch of stuff gives Orton nine and they wind up in what loos like an interview area.

Edge gets in a few more shots of his own, including a kick to the ribs, and they’re both down for a breather. With Orton knocked onto a table, Edge climbs a ladder onto a scaffold and drops a huge elbow through Orton through said table for a double eight. It’s time to stagger around some more, this time with Orton’s shoulder bleeding. Orton sends him into more equipment for another eight and then takes him onto the back of a covered pick up truck.

The hanging DDT onto said cover gives us another double eight and they climb onto the top of a big production truck. Edge cuts off a Punt with the spear for nine but another spear charges into an RKO. With Edge getting up again, Orton drops down and grabs some chairs to take back to the top of the truck. Orton sounds like he mentions Edge’s daughters but the Conchairto is countered into a standing choke. That’s enough to knock Orton out but Edge says stop counting. The Conchairto crushes him for good and Edge wins at 36:40.

Rating: B-. I liked this one way more the first time around as this really did feel long here. They had some good violence and beat each other up but you easily could have cut out ten plus minutes and done the same thing. You also get into the same problem that so many Last Man Standing matches have, in that you spend so much time waiting on the counts that the match loses a lot of steam. I still like it, but cut this stuff down.

Back in the arena, Mojo Rawley runs from the menagerie of numskulls but Rob Gronkowski dives off a balcony onto the pile to win the title. Apparently this took HOURS to film as Gronkowski wouldn’t do it, even after Vince McMahon himself demonstrated the dive (the video released of Vince doing it is kind of awesome).

Raw Tag Team Titles: Austin Theory/Angel Garza vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending and Theory is a last minute replacement for an injured Andrade, just to hammer home how messy this show is. Zelina Vega is here with the challengers too. Dawkins headlocks Theory to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. The champs start taking turns on the shoulder but Theory sends Dawkins outside. That means Garza can hit a superkick, allowing him to come inside and TAKE OFF HIS PANTS.

Some kicks to Dawkins’ ribs set up a seated abdominal stretch but Dawkins flips out without much trouble. Ford comes in to clean house and there’s the big flip dive onto Theory (and Dawkins by mistake). Back in and Garza kicks Ford down, setting up a Lionsault for two. The Wing Clipper is countered with an enziguri though and the hot tag brings in Dawkins. Theory catches him with a quick TKO but Ford comes in with the frog splash to give Dawkins the retaining pin at 6:23.

Rating: D+. There was a very firm limit to what they could do here with no real feud between one of the teams hadn’t even been together for a week and they didn’t even have seven minutes to do their thing. It felt like a Raw match and in this case, that is about as good as you could have expected. The Profits were brand new champions here and as usual, there weren’t exactly a ton of teams for them to challenge them. Take away one of the only ones around and how good could this have been?

Post match the beatdown is on but Bianca Belair runs in for her debut and takes out Vega.

Titus O’Neil has taken over hosting duties, meaning he says he’s hosting.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans vs. Tamina vs. Naomi

Bayley is defending under elimination rules and Naomi’s entrance is still cool even in an empty arena. Everyone goes after Tamina to start because it is Wrestlemania season and therefore she matters again. With Tamina knocked to the floor, the other four pair off until Bayley and Banks double team Evans for two. The mini tag match breaks out with Lacey and Naomi hitting stereo dropkicks for stereo near falls.

Tamina (sorry, the POWERFUL Tamina) gets back in to wreck everyone and gets a few near falls. Bayley and Lacey are kicked to the floor, leaving us with a Team BAD reunion, assuming more than about 4% of the audience actually remembers that weird trios period at the start of the Women’s Revolution. Tamina gets double teamed down and it’s a parade of finishers to get rid of her at 6:26 (because Tamina is Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania).

With the unstoppable monster stopped, Bayley starts beating on everyone else with the trash talk thrown in for a bonus. Naomi comes back in to beat up Bayley and Banks at the same time, including a Rear View to Banks and a middle rope kick to both. That’s about it for the Offense though as the Bank Statement makes Naomi tap at 10:15. Bayley: “DANCE TO THE BACK!”

Bayley and Banks double team Lacey, including something like a double powerbomb for two. A running knee (Bayley: “THIS IS FOR SUMMER”!, meaning Lacey’s daughter) hits Banks by mistake and the cracks seem ready to form. The distraction lets Lacey hit the Woman’s Right to finish Banks at 13:26 (with Cole’s call being heard on the replay, because the building is that quiet).

So it’s one on one with Evans hammering away and grabbing a neckbreaker for two. Bayley sends her shoulder first into the post though and the stomping ensues. More shouting and right hands in the corner have Lacey in trouble but she gets up a boot to cut Bayley off. The slingshot Bronco Buster connects and the double springboard moonsault gets two. Cue Sasha with a Backstabber to Lacey though, allowing Bayley to hit the bulldog driver to retain at 19:18.

Rating: C. It worked well, even after the awesome force that is Tamina was gone. At least these four have some backstories and characters so it is a little bit better than having five random people in there doing all of their spots as fast as they can. Bayley retaining is fine enough, as she has a tendency to do well at Wrestlemania, though Lacey winning the title would have been a nice feel good moment.

Wrestlemania 37 is in Los Angeles. I’m sure.

We recap John Cena vs. the Fiend in the Firefly Funhouse Match. Cena returned a few weeks ago and didn’t a Wrestlemania match but the Fiend showed up to point at the sign (because THE FIEND has to point at the sign) and the challenge was on. Bray Wyatt then explained that this is fallout from Cena beating him at Wrestlemania XXX, which is what send Wyatt completely over the edge and led to the creation of the Fiend. It makes enough sense and that’s all it needs to do for the most part.

John Cena vs. The Fiend

Cena does his full entrance and we cut to the Funhouse, where Wyatt says Cena will be fighting himself. Cena follows him through the door and I guess we’ll say the match starts there. With Cena standing in the dark, Puppet Vince pops up to ask if Cena has the ruthless aggression to be a star. If not, he’s fired. Bray appears in the ring and calls out someone for a fight and here’s Cena in his 2002 gear to say RUTHLESS AGGRESSION (ala his debut against Kurt Angle) but he can’t hit the slap on Bray. Wyatt: “You can look but you can’t touch!”

Bray disappears and we hit the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro (yeah don’t bother to try and make sense out of some of the pieces of this). Bray does a Hulk Hogan impression (behind a piece of the big blue cage of course) and talks about how his partner Johnny Largemeat is all about the muscles. Cena, lifting weights, comes in and does a Hogan/Randy Savage hybrid impression. He lifts so much his arms won’t come up anymore and now it’s off to the Dr. of Thuganomics Cena.

Wyatt and Cena are in the ring again with Cena realizing that he can only speak in rhyme. We get a Husky Harris joke and Cena talks about taking chances. That’s too much for Wyatt, who calls Cena a bully to takes others’ weaknesses and turns them into jokes. Cena throws the nuts at Wyatt, who knocks him out with a chain. Now it’s cult leader Wyatt and we go to the Wrestlemania XXX match, which Wyatt calls his grandest failure. Back in the ring now, with Wyatt saying it is time to rewrite his own story.

Bray hands Cena a chair (again ala Wrestlemania) and tells Cena to fix his mistake. This time Cena swings….and now we’re on Nitro, with Bray as Eric Bischoff to introduce the Hollywood Hogan version of Cena. Puppet Vince: “IT’S SUCH GOOD S***!” Cena freaks out and realizes he is beating up Huskus the Pig. The Fiend pops up behind him for the Mandible Claw and, after hearing Cena calls Bray overhyped and privileged, Sister Abigail finishes at about 13:30.

Rating: A+. This is one of those things that was amazing live and then it gets even better when you have a chance to think about the thing. This was a huge deconstruction of the entire John Cena legacy, down to what would have happened if he had finally turned heel like so many people wanted him to.

It turns into a What If/Road Not Taken idea and that is amazing to see, as Cena really does have a detailed and incredible rise to the top. Wyatt sees him as a fraud who has done everything he can to hold others, including Wyatt himself, down and he needed to avenge his Wrestlemania XXX loss. This was outstanding and one of the most well thought out and incredible ideas that I’ve seen WWE ever present, and I’m probably missing big parts of the whole thing.

Titus O’Neil isn’t sure what he just saw.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar. McIntyre was the Chosen One but screwed up and got fired, so he reinvented himself and came back to WWE as a man. Then McIntyre won the Royal Rumble, eliminating Brock Lesnar in the process. Cue the title match, as McIntyre is finally ready to achieve his destiny.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and for once, Paul Heyman doesn’t’ handle his introduction. Drew hits the first Claymore for the first two count at 17 seconds. Another Claymore is countered into the German suplex, followed by a second for a bonus. There’s the third and McIntyre is in trouble. The F5 gets one (that’s Drew’s thing) and another gets two. There’s a third F5 for another near fall (Heyman: “He’s really good. Hit him again! He can’t keep kicking out all night!”) but McIntyre escapes the fourth. Three straight Claymores make Drew champion at 4:32.

Rating: C+. It was fun and energetic but I’m completely over watching this style. It has been done to death and I could go for something fresh. Is it asking too much for a ten minute match instead of ten finishers in four minutes? McIntyre winning was the only way you could go here as Lesnar has been champion for so long recently that it no longer has any impact. This went as it should have, but egads find a better way to do them.

McIntyre celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this one better than the first night by a good stretch as the matches certainly felt bigger. The main event and some other things came off like they belonged on Wrestlemania, but there are still things that make this show feel like absolutely nothing. Again though, you can only put so much of that on WWE as they were up against the wall and had to do a lot of things at the last minute. It was good if you give them a lot of breaks and really, how can you not with a show like this?

Overall Overall Rating: C+. Of course this didn’t feel like Wrestlemania and that is because it barely was Wrestlemania. The problem is that with so much build and setup for the whole thing, WWE absolutely had to do something, especially if television was going to continue as usual. No it isn’t good by comparison to other Wrestlemanias but nothing was the same around this time. Things would get better going forward but this was still the dark ages of the pandemic. They did what they could here and in that regard, this show worked out as well as it could have.

Ratings Comparison

Liv Morgan vs. Natalya

Original: D+

2021 Redo: C-

Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Original: C+

2021 Redo: B+

Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: D+

2021 Redo: C

Dolph Ziggler vs. Otis

Original: D+

2021 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Edge

Original: B

2021 Redo: B-

Street Profits vs. Angel Garza/Austin Theory

Original: D+

2021 Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Naomi vs. Tamina vs. Lacey Evans

Original: D

2021 Redo: C

John Cena vs. The Fiend

Original: N/A

2021 Redo: A+

Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: D

2021 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2021 Redo: B-

Overall Overall Rating

Original: C

2021 Redo: C+

That’s one of the biggest changes I can remember having as the matches almost all went up and then the overall rating barely goes up. This was hardly a normal show though so the drastic swing a year later isn’t surprising.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/04/05/wrestlemania-xxxvi-night-two-the-wwe-psyche/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXVI Night 1
Date: April 4, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Host: Rob Gronkowski

A year has passed since this show and it still does not seem real. Aside from the main event, this show has almost been erased from history as it is barely ever discussed whatsoever. The Coronavirus wiped everything out and the show was moved to the Performance Center, making it feel like a show that they had just to say they had it. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cesaro vs. Drew Gulak

Their respective friends (Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn and Daniel Bryan) are feuding so these two are having a match as well. Yeah it’s weak but what else are they supposed to do? Cole is calling this one on his own and it sounds so strange. Gulak goes for the arm to start but a short armscissors is countered into a powerbomb. They head outside with Cesaro getting in another shot but the arm is banged up.

An armdrag on the bad arm sets up a whip into the steps but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air for two. A Fujiwara armbar is broken up so Gulak settles for two off a sunset flip. Cesaro boots him in the face and loads up a torture rack airplane spin (with no hands at one point for a crazy visual) before just dropping Gulak for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. The match was fine but EGADS this is bizarre. It’s like we’re watching a training session that was recorded and they slapped a Wrestlemania logo on the thing. It was watchable enough and would have been acceptable as a warmup but I can’t believe that this is Wrestlemania. Of course it isn’t on WWE given the circumstances but my goodness this is weird and that isn’t likely to change over the course of the show.

Stephanie McMahon welcomes us to the show and says that while this is going to be the most different Wrestlemania ever (due to the current circumstances, with no mention of the virus, which was a weird WWE thing for a LONG time).

Rather than someone singing America the Beautiful live, we get a montage of previous performances. Fair enough and actually a pretty cool idea.

The opening video continues the pirate theme but someone doing a pretty bad Jack Sparrow impression cuts it off, saying it sounds like they are starting at the end. He says the video isn’t trying and calls for the “classic movie trailer voice”. The trailer voice is cut off by the Sparrow impression (which is how he refers to it) but the video still doesn’t work, so he says go to the shots of our heroes looking all serious. These people are larger than life and are marred by the work of hundreds of days and nights.

This is their quest for gold, glory and immortality. Tonight, forget EVERYTHING you know because fate leads the way, and fate can surprise us. History waits for no one and tonight, their chance to shape history begins right now. The traditional montage takes over from here. I love pirate movies and while this was pretty much a parody of the idea, it makes me wonder how good the real thing would have been with the WWE budget behind a pirate themed show.

Host Rob Gronkowski (erg) welcomes us to the show and does some fine script reading as he talks about how this is a two night event. He talks about being able to start a party on a Saturday night, even if that might be a little difficult in a mostly empty building. Mojo Rawley joins him because you need the hype here. Gronk gives him some pretty lame chops and we’re off to the first match.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Kabuki Warriors

The Warriors (Asuka/Kairi Sane) are defending and commentary points out that they took the titles from Bliss/Cross back in October. This is their first title defense since DECEMBER, because the titles really don’t mean much in WWE. Asuka and Bliss get things going with a lot of laughing but it’s off to Sane without any contact. Sane shoves Bliss around a bit, drawing Bliss back up to knock Sane down. That sets up the double knees to the ribs and a tag off to Cross, who is taken into the champs’ corner.

Some forearms stagger Asuka though and Bliss tags herself in. That means a baseball slide can knock Sane outside, followed by a flip dive from the apron. Back in and Asuka punches Cross in the face, allowing the tag back to Sane. Everything breaks down again with the Warriors taking over on the floor. Back in again and a bulldog into a basement dropkick rocks Cross but Sane gets a bit cocky.

That means Cross can kick her away, allowing the tag back to Bliss. House doesn’t have time to be cleaned though as Asuka offers a distraction, allowing Sane to catch Bliss in the ropes. The Alberto double stomp gets two and Bliss is in trouble, despite Cross trying to get….well no one here to clap. The referee yells at Asuka, allowing Sane to snap Bliss’ neck across the ropes.

Bliss forearms Asuka in the face so Asuka kicks her head off. Another shot from Bliss allows the hot tag to Cross, meaning it’s a lot of screaming as she forearms and bulldogs Sane. A high crossbody gives Cross two but Sane gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Reckoning gets two on Asuka with Sane breaking it up off a top rope elbow (and possibly with a camera edit because that count looked ready to go down before Sane appeared).

Asuka tries the Asuka Lock on Cross but Bliss breaks it up with Twisted Bliss. Back up and Asuka hits a Codebreaker on Cross but the Insane Elbow is broken up. Instead it’s a powerbomb/top rope forearm to knock Cross silly….for two. Nikki avoids a charge to send Asuka into the post. The Reckoning sets up another Twisted Bliss for the pin and the titles at 15:11.

Rating: C. That was a lot longer than I would have bet on but the title change was the right way to start. If nothing else, just so Bliss can do her pose with a title again. You can only have the Warriors hold the title so long before it stops meaning anything due to a lack of defenses. I can’t imagine this makes a huge difference, but it was the right move here.

Sami Zayn brags about taking the Intercontinental Title from Braun Strowman, even though people thought it was inevitable that Strowman would destroy him. Tonight, people think it is inevitable that Daniel Bryan will take the title from him, but we’ll see about that.

King Corbin vs. Elias

This is fallout from Corbin knocking Elias off a platform here in the arena. That should have, you know, broken most of his bones, but instead it put him out for eight days. Corbin insists that Elias isn’t here but the comeback is here before the referee can even start to count. Corbin goes outside to start the fight in the aisle so Elias blasts him in the back with the guitar.

Elias sends him into various things and they head inside for the opening bell. An elbow to the face gives Elias two and it’s time to choke near the ropes. Corbin tosses him over the top and wants the countout but settles for right hands to the ribs back inside. The slide underneath the rope in the corner clothesline gets two on Elias and it’s time to hammer on Elias’ bad shoulder (because he has a bad shoulder after crashing off the balcony last week).

Said bad shoulder goes into the post for two and Corbin yells at the referee, which you can hear a lot more of in the empty arena. Back up and Elias sends him shoulder first into the post to even things up a bit. A kick out of the corner sends Corbin into another corner and Elias hammers away. Elias has to roll through the top rope elbow and charges into Deep Six for two. Back up and Elias nails a jumping knee to the face but gets sent throat first into the ropes. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Corbin two but the referee catches the cheating and yells a lot. Instead Elias grabs a rollup and tights for the pin at 8:52.

Rating: C-. That’s one of the least interesting matches I can remember in a long time, but what were you expecting given who was in there? It’s bad enough that Elias’ big revenge was a rollup pin after getting beaten down for a few minutes, but the fact that it came over Corbin made things even worse. Just not an interesting match and it would have felt a lot better as the nothing Kickoff Show match instead.

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Becky Lynch for the Raw Women’s Title. Becky Lynch has been champion for about a year and is out of people to face. Baszler showed up from NXT and….bit Becky’s neck for some reason, drawing a bunch of blood. Then Baszler demolished the Elimination Chamber match to become #1 contender (in other words she beat up a bunch of losers and Asuka), setting up Lynch’s biggest challenge in a long time. Lynch reminding Baszler that she beat Ronda Rousey to get the title was a great response and this was a heck of a build.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler

Lynch is defending and drives to the arena in a semi truck because…something about the Man I guess? They go straight to the slugout to start and the threat of the Kirifuda Clutch sends Becky bailing out to the floor. Baszler is sent into the steps to put her in trouble, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. Lynch comes up favoring her back but hammers away in the corner anyway.

A hard knee rocks Lynch but she slips out of the Kirifuda Clutch to grab a rollup instead. Baszler grabs a cutter for two but can’t hit a running knee. They fight to the apron with Lynch talking trash as they forearm it out. Lynch Rock Bottoms her onto the apron for two and the champ looks a bit surprised.

Baszler slams her off the top and grabs a quickly broken cross armbreaker. Instead Baszler puts on her own Disarm Her but Lynch is out in a hurry. This time Lynch grabs the Disarm Her on the ropes, only to have Baszler knock her off the rope for a big crash. Baszler picks her up for a hard swing into the announcers’ table (geez that always looks rough) before throwing it back inside. The Kirifuda Clutch goes on but Lynch backflips over for the pin to retain at 8:32.

Rating: C. Yeah I’m not sure I get this one, as Lynch was ready to lose the title and Baszler seemed primed to take the thing from her. Throw in the Lynch was about to go on maternity leave (fair enough that she didn’t know it at this point) and there was no reason to not switch the title here. It seemed that they were setting up a submission rematch, but at some point you need to just change the title and be done with it, which should have been the case here.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan, with Drew Gulak, is challenging and Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura are here with Zayn. Rob Gronkowski and Mojo Rawley do the YES chant from the balcony, which just looks sad with two people in there. Sami bails straight to the floor and then does it again to get in Bryan’s head. Back in and the third exit ensues, which finally causes Bryan to go after him, only to have Cesaro and Nakamura get in the way.

Gulak dives onto the two of them and hammers away, meaning Gulak and Zayn get to have their own staredown. Bryan finally gets his hands on Zayn thanks to a suicide dive and it’s time to crank on the leg. Zayn is sent outside again for another suicide dive, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. Bryan slaps him in the face and shouts that Zayn is the loser because he hasn’t beaten anyone.

The running dropkick in the corner might have Zayn crying (JBL: “You shouldn’t be crying at Wrestlemania.”) but he cuts Bryan’s charge off with a shot of his own. Back up and Bryan hits the running clothesline, followed by the rapid fire strikes. Hold on though as Bryan needs to go after Cesaro and Nakamura, only to dive into the Helluva Kick to retain Zayn’s title at 9:18.

Rating: C. Another rather disappointing match here but again, it’s kind of hard to complain about much on this show. The biggest problem continues to be the lack of time, as you can only make a match feel so big in just over nine minutes. It’s also another situation where the title should have changed hands, as Zayn went home because of the virus (fair) and had to vacate the title without wrestling again in nearly six months.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: John Morrison vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Uso

Morrison is defending for Miz and John Morrison and this is a ladder match. Injuries and virus concerns took away enough of the partners that this is as good as we can get here. Everyone misses a kick to start and Morrison and Kingston both stick the landings on a monkey flip attempt, meaning it’s an early standoff.

Everyone goes out to grab a ladder (Morrison gets the only regular sized one) and they all climb up, with Jimmy being knocked down and coming up clutching his knee (always a good sign). He’s fine enough to get to his feet but Kofi dives off the ladder to take him down. Morrison is right there to go after Kofi but they both miss kicks and takedowns. Kofi knocks Jimmy off the ladder but Morrison takes him down as well, meaning Jimmy has to make a save of his own.

A springboard lets Kofi dropkick both of them through the ladder (cool), only to have Morrison clear the ring again. Morrison stabs Jimmy in the knee with the ladder but Jimmy sends him face first into the ladder in the corner. That’s fine with Morrison, who knocks him onto the ladder and hits a corkscrew flip to crush Jimmy again. Kofi is back up with a springboard hurricanrana to pull Morrison off of the ladder, because of course he can do that.

After knocking Jimmy outside, Kofi hits a big dive over the top to take Morrison down again. Jimmy tries to run the barricade so Kofi throws the ladder at him for another knockdown. It’s time to bridge the ladder between the ring and the apron, which never winds up going well. Jimmy is laid on said ladder but Morrison walks the rope to get from one corner to another and Spanish Fly Kofi off the top.

That leaves Morrison down so Jimmy can hit a Superfly Splash to crush him all over again. Kofi and Jimmy climb the same ladder (with Kofi climbing from inside because he’s a bit unique) and Jimmy gets knocked off in a heap. Morrison gets knocked down as well and Kofi comes off with the jumping double stomp to make it worse. Back up and Jimmy bridges the ladder between the rope and the standing ladder (uh oh) and then sends Kofi face first into the bridged one.

Morrison gets superkicked out of the air so Jimmy goes up another ladder, only to be shoved down. It must have been quite the fall as he went down with his feet facing the entrance and landed with his head facing the entrance. Or maybe WWE just needs better editors. Morrison throws a ladder out and goes up, only to have Kofi climb the same ladder. Jimmy is back in to climb another ladder and they all get a hand on the titles. A double headbutt knocks Morrison down….and he comes up with the titles for the win at 18:33.

Rating: B. This was the big spotfest match that you knew was coming here at one point or another on the show and there is nothing wrong with that. They did their thing all over the place here with one crazy spot after another. That’s how a match like this is supposed to be and it was as fun as you could have imagined a triple threat match for the Tag Team Titles would be. Granted there is one thing wrong with the match, which would be the horrible knee injury that Jimmy suffered, which would keep him out of action for over a year.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens. Rollins is doing his evil messiah deal and Owens doesn’t want to hear it, nor does he want to deal with the beatdowns Rollins and company have given him. Grudge match time.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

Dig that KO Mania IV shirt with the Andre the Giant/Hulk Hogan style as Owens continues an awesome tradition. After a quick bit of hiding in the ropes, Rollins starts the slugout and it goes about as badly as you would go. Owens hammers him down, shrugs off a kick to the face, and hits a hard clothesline. There’s a backsplash to crush Rollins but it’s too early for the Cannonball.

Some chops have Rollins in trouble on the floor but he manages a backdrop on the apron to avoid a rather painful powerbomb. A Falcon Arrow on the apron plants Owens again as Rollins is already focusing on the back. Rollins hits a hard suicide dive to knock him into the barricade and he does it again for a bonus. Back in and Rollins keeps the trash talk up but misses a pair of Stomps. Owens doesn’t miss a DDT though and a superkick lets him hit the Cannonball.

The Stunner is countered and Rollins nails an enziguri, only to have Owens nail a rebound lariat for another knockdown. A superplex is loaded up but Rollins blocks it, setting up the buckle bomb. Some superkicks rock Owens, who is still fine enough to hit a pop up sitout powerbomb for a close two. They go outside and Rollins blasts him in the head with the ring bell for the DQ at 10:09.

And no this isn’t what we’re doing because Owens says let’s keep it going with no countout or DQ. That’s fine with Rollins and the bell rings, allowing him to hit a jumping knee to the face. Rollins takes it outside again and sends him into various things, followed by a steps shot to the face.

A bunch of chair shots have Owens in big trouble but he comes up with a HARD bell shot to the head. With Rollins mostly done, Owens climbs onto the big WRESTLEMANIA sign and dives off, though he is nice enough to ask if Rollins thinks this is a Wrestlemania moment. Back in and Rollins tries to talk his way out of trouble, earning himself a Stunner for the pin at 17:15.

Rating: B-. I didn’t remember liking this one all that much but they beat each other up rather well and it was entertaining enough. The bell to the head sounded great and the violence was good, once you got part the pretty worthless pause in between the falls. Owens can brawl with the best of them, but unfortunately he got hurt here too and would miss time of his own, because this show is cursed.

R-Truth comes up to Mojo Rawley and Rob Gronkowski and complains about being 24/7. I think you know what happens here and Rawley celebrates with the title.

Paul Heyman scares the heck out of Charly Caruso and talks about how great how sure he is that Drew McIntyre is losing. Brock Lesnar is going to destroy McIntyre and leave him a broken man because Lesnar is the most awesome fighter ever. He gets the message across with a bit more emotion as you might guess.

We run down the night two card.

Smackdown World Title: Braun Strowman vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and there is no recap because there is no story. Goldberg won the title in Saudi Arabia so he could lose to Roman Reigns here, but then Reigns pulled out due to the Coronavirus concerns (again, fair). After about twenty seconds of staring each other down, Goldberg kicks him in the ribs and hits an early spear.

Strowman is back up so Goldberg hits two more spears for a near fall. Make it four, but the Jackhammer is countered into a powerslam. We’ll make that two powerslams and the third sets up a fourth to make Strowman champion at 2:11. The entire match was three moves and one of them was a kick to the ribs.

Wrestlemania XXXVII is in Los Angeles. Just like it was in the Memorial Coliseum in 1991.

We recap AJ Styles vs. The Undertaker. Styles didn’t like Undertaker being a broken shell of himself so he insulted Undertaker the man, including Undertaker’s wife. This did not wind up going well and for the first time, it seems that this is Mark Calaway fighting instead of Styles, which should make things all the more interesting. Oh and they’re in boneyard to make things a little spicier/more cinematic.

Undertaker vs. AJ Styles

The hearse rides into the boneyard and the druids pull out the casket, which of course has Styles in it for a chuckle worthy moment. In a bit cooler moment, we get Biker Taker again, riding to the boneyard to Now That We’re Dead by Metallica. AJ wastes no time in talking trash, asking if Michelle McCool knows Undertaker is out this late. Undertaker knocks a brick out of his hands and the fight is on, with Undertaker dragging him around. He even calls AJ Alan to make it more freaky.

AJ is sent into the closed casket but Undertaker’s punch goes through the hearse window (cue the Goldberg flashbacks). He is fine enough to throw him through the windshield and they fight on top of the hearse, with Undertaker still getting the better of things. Undertaker hammers away while yelling at AJ to not talk about his wife and then quotes Clubber Lang by saying he has a lotta more. AJ gets smart by throwing dirt in the eyes and then trying to punch Undertaker into a grave.

It turns out that standing in front of someone who can’t see and talking a lot makes you easy to punch so Undertaker drills him in the jaw. That’s enough to knock Undertaker into the grave but the Good Brothers show up, complete with imitation western music. Undertaker goes after them….and we’ve got druids for some reason. They don’t really do much good though, as they stand there while Undertaker goes in a circle punching them. Now Undertaker can beat up Gallows and Anderson in peace, including beating on them with the handle of a shovel.

AJ is back with a tombstone (the stone, not the move) though and shatters it over Undertaker’s back. That means trash talk from AJ and weird sounds from Undertaker….and they are both knocked through the wall of a shed. Undertaker wheezes and backs away, allowing AJ to break a shove over his back to knock him into a grave. With Undertaker down, AJ jumps in the dump truck (or whatever you call it)….and Undertaker appears behind him in a big ball of light. Eh it’s not that insane really.

AJ runs off (as you should) and climbs onto the roof of the barn so Undertaker shoots fire out of the roof foo. Cue Gallows and Anderson so Undertaker beats them up again and throws Gallows into the abyss. A Tombstone onto the roof drops Anderson and Undertaker says it’s just him and AJ. For some reason AJ swings at him and gets chokeslammed off the roof and through a big piece of wood. Undertaker climbs down and asks AJ what his wife’s name is. Or maybe AJ can tell Undertaker how old he is.

AJ is out on his feet as Undertaker picks him up and talks about how AJ is tougher than he gave him credit for. It’s time to go to the grave and AJ says he’s sorry. Undertaker wants to know what for and then picks AJ up by the throat. AJ begs him not to bury him and Undertaker hugs him while saying AJ put up a great fight. Then Undertaker boots him into the grave and fills it in with the dirt. The gong sounds and we’ll say that’s the match at about 19:12 (your individual times may vary).

Rating: A. Yeah this is still great and is the pinnacle of the cinematic stuff. It doesn’t get too goofy (I mean, Undertaker stuff is weird by definition) and it felt like two guys having a fight. AJ being all cocky and sure of himself until he finally realized what he was up against is a classic Undertaker story and it worked well here. Above all else, this felt like Undertaker having one last brush with greatness before hanging it up and I can see why he was ok with this being the big ending. Go out doing something different and special, which is what he did here. I loved this when I watched it and still do here, so well done.

AJ’s gloves hand sticks out of the grave as Undertaker gets on his bike, throws up the fist to make the fire go off again. Undertaker’s symbol goes up on the barn wall and he rides away to end the show. And to end Undertaker’s career it seems, as he has not wrestled since and announced his retirement at Survivor Series about seven months later.

Overall Rating: B-. Like I said at the beginning, this show has kind of been forgotten and it is easy to see why. I’m not sure how you could expect anything else here, as the show was cobbled together from whomever was left and they did what they could to still have a Wrestlemania. It’s a Wrestlemania in name only for the most part, but it isn’t like they had any control over the thing. What we got was good enough, but don’t expect this to be anything more than an historical curiosity, because it doesn’t feel like Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Drew Gulak vs. Cesaro

Original: C

2021 Redo: C

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Kabuki Warriors

Original: C

2021 Redo: C

Elias vs. King Corbin

Original: D

2021 Redo: C-

Shayna Baszler vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B-

2021 Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

2021 Redo: C

Jimmy Uso vs. John Morrison vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: B

2021 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C

2021 Redo: B-

Goldberg vs. Braun Strowman

Original: N/A

2021 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. AJ Styles

Original: A+

2021 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C

2021 Redo: B-

Mostly in the ballpark, but it’s not like this is a show that is going to feel the same after a year.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/04/04/wrestlemania-xxxvi-night-one-broken-undertaker/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70^th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Luke Gallows, Dash Wilder, Chad Gable, Curt Hawkins, Scott Dawson, Primo Colon, Kane, Curtis Axel, Apollo, Tye Dillinger, Rhyno, Aiden English, Matt Hardy, Tyler Breeze, Mike Kanellis, Karl Anderson, Mojo Rawley, R-Truth, Sin Cara, Dolph Ziggler, Viktor, Shelton Benjamin, Goldust, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Baron Corbin, Heath Slater, Konnor, Fandango

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Ali heads to the apron and gets enziguried down, setting up the big flip dive to the floor and…actually not a break. Back in and Cedric starts in on the ribs with a waistlock, followed by a heck of a backdrop for two. Ali gets out of another waistlock and faceplants him for two as Alexander looks focused while being in pain. The running Spanish Fly drops Ali again and it takes both of them time to get up. They’re doing a rather good job of showing how even these two are, which is what you should be doing in a tournament final.

Ali is up first and tries a tornado DDT but gets placed on top, where Ali catches him with a super Spanish Fly, shocking even Cena. The 054 is loaded up but Cedric knocks him off the top for a huge crash to the floor. That’s not serious so let’s go split screen for a Ronda Rousey ad. I mean…fair enough. Back in the Lumbar Check is countered, setting up Ali’s awesome tornado DDT.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending after the Bludgeon Brothers destroyed both other teams last month at Fastlane. Woods plays the trombone (using the same tune that would summon the Dragonzord on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)…to bring out a fleet of small people dressed as stacks of pancakes, some of whom do the Worm. I still don’t get why pancakes are supposed to be funny, but anyone who plays a trombone like the Dragon Dagger (that thing was IMPOSSIBLE to find back in the day) is cool with me.

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

Post match they hug in a copy of the earlier match where the Japanese winner of the Royal Rumble was defeated in the title match. Nakamura kneels to him and presents AJ with the title…before hitting him low for a heel turn which should have led to him winning the title. It kind of did, but the US Title instead of the World Title, which is why Nakamura is nowhere near as big a deal just a year later. Also, why should I want to see AJ face Nakamura again when he just beat him clean? Nakamura hits him with two Kinshasas before leaving.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

We get the Big Match Intros and Strowman takes the mic to introduce the partner. It’s not someone in the locker room….because it’s one of the fans. Strowman looks around, looks around some more, and then points at someone in the crowd. He walks into the crowd, walks around some more…and picks a ten year old. They walk back to the ring to burn up even more time because SURE THIS SHOW CAN JUST KEEP GOING.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.