IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 5, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Somehow we’re just over a week away from No Way Out which has really snuck up. Last week’s great battle royal saw Eddie Guerrero become #1 contender, which could set up a heck of a match with Brock Lesnar. That being said, his win came at the expense of Kurt Angle, who probably won’t be happy with being eliminated last. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of the battle royal with Eddie winning the title shot for the biggest match in his career.

Paul Heyman is in the ring to talk about how awesome last week was because it gave Eddie the chance to capitalize on an opportunity. That opportunity comes in ten days, but what about tonight? We’re coming up on Wrestlemania and need a #1 contender for that night, and anyone wrestling tonight will be in the running for that spot. That’s it for Heyman, who isn’t the kind of General Manager who will stand around talking all night.

Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and get jumped from behind at the bell. You can’t even pose in peace around here anymore. Shaniqua offers a distraction though and Danny gets in a clothesline from the apron to take over. A double hot shot gets two on Scotty and Doug takes over in the corner. Some crossface shots to the jaw keep Scotty on the mat, followed by a neckbreaker for two.

Scotty gets in a clothesline though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi for some quick house cleaning. A superkick puts Doug down and Danny gets sent to the floor, leaving Scotty to load up the Worm. Shaniqua makes a save but has to be saved from the Rump Shaker. With Danny still on the floor, the Samoan drop to Doug gives Rikishi the pin and the titles.

And now, a look back at how last week’s battle royal was set up, along with a look at the battle royal itself. That seems random, but there might be a reason for it.

There was another match taped right around here that didn’t make air. Ernest Miller pinned Tajiri in a rather short match when he ducked the Buzzsaw kick and won with a rollup. It was pulled from the airing and Miller was released the next week. The video of the match, with commentary, is available online and it’s not that bad. It’s not even two minutes long and doesn’t have time to be that bad. Orlando Jordan ran in to save Miller from a post match beatdown at Akio/Sakoda’s hands and danced a bit after.

The match wasn’t great but I can’t imagine it was bad enough to warrant firing him over. The only other possible reason I can find that it didn’t air was a line from Tazz where he said Tajiri ate cats. I mean, that’s bad but they couldn’t edit the audio? Maybe they cut the match because they knew Miller would be gone soon but it’s still rather odd.

Dawn Marie and Paul Heyman come in to see John Cena. The show has been getting some complaints about Cena’s content so he’s off the show tonight to take care of the children. Heyman does want Cena to stick around tonight for the #1 contenders announcement. Cena hitting on Dawn while time Heyman complained about him was funny.

US Title: Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Show is defending for the first time since winning the title in OCTOBER. Why is Gunn getting the shot you ask? Well he hit Show with a Fameasser last week in the battle royal. Nothing but that, but it was indeed a Fameasser. Tazz’s thought on the match: Show wants to keep the title. Gunn tries to use some quickness to start so a single knee to the stomach cuts him off.

A missed clothesline sends Show to the floor and Gunn tries some chops, earning himself a right hand to the head. There’s something cathartic about seeing Gunn getting hit in the face. Back from a break with another look at that right hand, which might be the high spot so far. It’s off to a cobra clutch in a match that doesn’t need a rest hold. Cole takes another opportunity to talk about how AMAZING Big Show has been lately, mainly focusing on him not winning two battle royals.

Another loud chop takes Gunn down again and Show hits a catapult, though it seemed to miss the target of the bottom rope and sent Gunn flying instead. The chokeslam is countered with a dropkick though and the Fameasser gets two. Gunn loads it up again (because that always works) but gets countered into something like a powerbomb (looked like it was supposed to be a chokeslam but Show’s hand was on the stomach) to retain.

Rating: D-. I waited nearly four months for that? This was exactly what you would expect from a Big Show vs. Billy Gunn match with Show throwing him around and Gunn….not really doing anything impressive but he’s tall and muscular so he gets to stay around. Having Show defend the title was almost a bad thing as having him never defend the thing was more entertaining than this way too long match.

The Chavos come in to see Heyman and rant about Rey Mysterio getting so much attention. Therefore tonight it’s Rey vs. Sr. and at the pay per view it’s Rey vs. Jr. Sr. isn’t sure but Jr. believes in him.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for a chat with Michael Cole. The fans are very happy to see Eddie but before he can say anything, here’s Brock Lesnar to cut him off. We get a long staredown with only the EDDIE chants making any noise. Brock congratulates him on getting his title shot at No Way Out and mentions winning the Royal Rumble in a line that is clearly dubbed over.

The thing Eddie needs to remember though is that Brock wasn’t in the ring. Brock lists off all of the names he’s beaten and Eddie doesn’t scare him. We hear about Steve Austin giving Goldberg a ticket to the show, more or less saying they’re fighting at Wrestlemania without being specific. Eddie is impressed because he doesn’t have that kind of a resume. All he has going for him is overcoming one obstacle after another because he doesn’t listen to people like Brock.

For years, Eddie has been told that he’s too small or that he couldn’t overcome his personal demons to get his children back. He’s beating those demons by the grace of God because he hears the voices of people like Lesnar saying he can’t do it. All he sees in Lesnar is a big fat face of hatred and his next obstacle. At No Way Out, Brock is facing the Latino Heat inside Eddie.

Brock laughs it off and says Eddie is a no one, which earns him a right hand to the face. Lesnar gets knocked to the floor and Eddie keeps the title. Great promo here and they’ve built Eddie up to the point where he has to win the title, which would have seemed impossible just a few weeks ago.

Clip of Undertaker freaking Kane out. I see no need to air this on Smackdown. Maybe this is what they used to fill in the Miller time?

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman dropkicks him for an early one but gets kicked off the top, wrenching Kidman’s knee in the process. Noble cranks on the knee a bit until Kidman kicks him away and scores with an enziguri for two. A half crab keeps Kidman in trouble but here’s Nidia with Jamie’s wallet to give away money to the fans. The distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb for the pin in a completely unique and never before seen ending.

Post break, Noble demands and is granted a match with Nidia at No Way Out.

And now, a music video for Rey Mysterio’s song from the Originals CD.

Again from Raw, Austin gives Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out. At least this is related to this show.

Torrie Wilson and Sable are announced for the Playboy shoot. They have different thoughts of two women in the same shot. Next week, an interview with the two of them! Like anyone watches this for the interviews.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Non-title. Chavo Jr. offers a distraction so Sr. can knock Rey into the corner to start. Some uppercuts have Rey in trouble Ry is right back with the springboard seated senton but Jr. saves his dad from the 619. The second attempt works just fine though and gives Rey the pin in a hurry.

Post match Jr. beats Rey down.

Dawn Marie rubs Heyman’s head but he’s worried about her having a wardrobe issue. And his hair.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly

Angle takes him down into a front facelock with the ease that you would expect and a headlock keeps Holly in trouble. Cole actually tries to compare Angle and Holly’s resumes, which is as laughable as it sounds. Holly’s wristlock and armdrag are countered with a better armdrag as you can tell Angle isn’t going in full speed because it would turn into the squash that it probably should be. Holly elbows him in the face and kicks away in the corner but walks into a backbreaker. Some shoulders to the back in the corner keep Holly in trouble until he avoids a charge to send Angle into the post.

Back from a break with Holly hitting his dropkick for two and we hit the sleeper. That’s switched into a chinlock and then an armbar so Angle fights up in short order. Holly drops him throat first across the top first but Angle pops back up with the rolling German suplexes. The kick between the legs to Angle’s stomach sets up a top rope clothesline for two in what was probably Holly’s best chance. Holly gets the Alabama Slam for two more with Angle grabbing the rope. Angle reverses the full nelson into the Angle Slam and a pair of ankle lock attempts make Holly tap.

Rating: D+. This felt like a pro against an overzealous kid who thought they were ready for the big time. Angle was countering almost everything Holly had for him here and there was never any doubt in my mind that Angle was going to make him tap in the end. There’s no reason to buy Holly suddenly being at a main event level after his only only singles win since he’s been back is that street fight against Big Show last month. Hopefully this ends soon and Holly can go back to lower card matches where he belongs.

Angle’s music doesn’t even have time to play as Heyman comes out to make the #1 contender announcement. Before he can say anything though, here’s Big Show to interrupt. Show talks about how awesome he was in both Royal Rumbles but Angle says he was the last person eliminated last week. Angle is ready to compete against Big Show in any athletic competition to earn the spot. Save for pie eating of course.

After ripping off some Happy Gilmore lines verbatim, Heyman makes a #1 contenders match for No Way Out. Cue Cena to rhyme about both of them so they insist that the match become a three way. Cena threatens more rhymes so Heyman puts him in the match to avoid anything “indecent” being said. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This was really, really bad with a bunch of horrible matches and ONLY the Eddie vs. Brock segment being worth anything. No Way Out continues to look like a show that only exists because February needs a pay per view and will be, at best, a two match show. The midcard and beneath is just so bad around here right now and that’s the case with both shows. The main event is good, but with Cena just talking and Holly still getting fifteen minutes on a show, there’s not much even Eddie can do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And there’s video.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-video-brock-lesnar-cage-ufc-226-challenges-new-heavyweight-champion/

More questions, more very long form answers, some of them being to questions asked by you all.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/ask-wrestling-rumors-week-4-june-30-2018/

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have changed in a big way around here as Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit has jumped over to Monday Night Raw to go after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. That leaves a pretty big hole to fill at the top of the card and I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Sounds like Wrestlemania season to me. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Well that’s a big way to start things up. Heyman rightfully looks terrified as Vince yells about how this should have been a celebration of Chris Benoit winning the Royal Rumble. Benoit isn’t going to be here tonight though because he’s on Raw now with Steve Austin. This is all Heyman’s fault because Benoit used the legal loophole of the Royal Rumble winner not having to face a specific champion at Wrestlemania. That’s a much better worded explanation than the somewhat jumbled version we got on Raw.

Heyman goes into a rant about people bailing on Vince over the years and how Vince would say SCREW THEM because it’s time to give someone else a chance. With Vince asking for the point, Heyman says someone else is getting a chance tonight with a 15 man Royal Rumble for a title shot at No Way Out. The fifteen people will be the ones who were in the Rumble on Sunday but the injured Matt Morgan and the gone Benoit will be replaced by Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero. Vince signs off on it and Heyman looks relieved.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London

Kidman and London are challenging. An early headscissors puts Danny down as Cole points out that Kidman and London haven’t teamed together many times. Hence why they’re #1 contenders of course. Danny low bridges London to the floor and makes the blind switch, setting up a spinning belly to back suplex for two.

The champs start in on London’s back as the announcers talk about the Royal Rumble tonight. London finally rolls Doug away and gets the tag off to Kidman to clean house. An enziguri gets two on Doug and there’s the BK Bomb to make things worse. Another switch lets Danny crotch Kidman on top though and a hanging DDT out of the corner retains the titles.

Rating: D. The time killed this as there’s not much you can do in less than four minutes. At least they’ve gotten away from having Shaniqua be the focus of the champions as that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. It also doesn’t do the company any favors to have two tag divisions on life support but that’s been the case for a long time now.

Angle is in Heyman’s office to draw his number, which he again dedicates to the troops. He gets his number and runs off, seeming to be a bit nervous.

Chavo Guerrero Sr. is worried about Chavo Jr.’s injuries at Eddie’s hands. Jr. says his injuries will heal but the internal scars will never go away. He swears revenge on Eddie so he can prove that he’s the real star.

Eddie is happy with his number. Rey Mysterio comes in, along with boxing champion Jorge Paez. Spanish is spoken and Rey is ready to defend the Cruiserweight Title.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie and tells her to grab his ball. Heyman comes in to say she’s not grabbing anyone’s balls. Cena calls him Captain Buzzkill and seems to like his number. Rhyno comes in and asks Cena about his knee. That earns him a bad smell joke, with Cena saying Heyman has the soap.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Noble has the blind Nidia with him in a Rumble rematch. Rey takes him down to the mat for some grappling with Noble getting the better of it. The test of strength is countered with a monkey flip and Noble gets knocked into the ropes. It’s way too early for the 619 though as Noble elbows him in the face but accidentally gets tripped by Nidia again. Thankfully they don’t repeat Sunday’s ending as Noble gets up at two and starts in on Mysterio’s back.

It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch before Noble bends the ribs and back around the post. That always looks so painful. A superplex plants Rey but Jamie can’t follow up. The delay lets Mysterio start the comeback and a Code Red gets two. Now the 619 can connect but Rey gets sent outside after missing the West Coast Pop. Jamie goes up top but Nidia accidentally gets in his way. He throws her inside but she avoids a charge, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better this was when you give them a little more time and a story to the match to let the match go somewhere. Noble and Mysterio are both talented performers and when they’re given a few resources, you can have a good match. The Nidia story needed to go somewhere a few weeks ago but it’s nice to have them finally do something with her.

Post match the sunglasses come off and Nidia can see. Cole: “Nidia just screwed her boyfriend!” That’s not very PG.

New correspondent RUe (the R and U are both capitalized on screen) De Bona talks about the history of WWE and Playboy because we’re still not supposed to know about Sable and Torrie Wilson being in Playboy.

Big Show takes his turn to hit on Dawn Marie (understandable) and draws his number.

Brock Lesnar isn’t happy with Goldberg and wants to teach him a lesson. He’s tired of hearing about Goldberg, who is just a Brock Lesnar wannabe. His method of dealing with Goldberg: a non-title open challenge for tonight.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are drawing numbers when someone runs in to say Eddie has been attacked. Medics are checking on him with Rey at his side when the Chavos come in to ask what happened. Rey chases them off.

Post break, Eddie is taken away in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Brock wastes no time in firing off the shoulders in the corner to put Jordan on the floor. Back in and Jordan hits a quick dropkick from behind to put Lesnar on the floor, which isn’t the best idea in the world. Some rights and lefts just annoy Lesnar so he snaps off a powerslam. It’s off to an arm trap choke that Lesnar spent most of the match on against Holly. Jordan fights out and hits some more dropkicks but gets caught in the Brock Lock for the tap.

Rating: D-. A match that doesn’t even make it four and a half minutes doesn’t need a hold that lasts over a minute. Lesnar slumming it lately isn’t doing anyone much good, mainly the audience as these things have been not only bad, but really dull. Jordan doesn’t belong on the main roster as he’s just not any good and could be any career jobber.

Wrestlers went to Walter Reed Military Hospital.

We look at Undertaker’s gong leading to Kane being eliminated on Sunday and distracting him again on Monday.

Vince isn’t worried because Undertaker is dead and buried. Wrestling heels being cocky and stupid is one of my favorite tropes.

Angle accuses Heyman of sending the Chavos after Eddie but Heyman says Eddie has regained consciousness. Chavo Jr. isn’t taking Eddie’s place as Angle thinks so Angle’s odds go up if Eddie isn’t out there.

Royal Rumble

Kurt Angle is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2 with 90 second intervals. Rhyno wastes no time in hitting a Gore but instead of going for an elimination, he stomps away in the corner. An Angle Slam cuts Rhyno off and it’s Charlie Haas in at #3. He punches both guys and hits a dropkick on Angle can’t get rid of Rhyno. Angle slips back in from the apron and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #4. Benjamin goes after Angle as well with the exploder suplex and Rhyno takes the jump over Haas’ back onto his own back.

Bradshaw is in at #5 for the Clothesline to Rhyno and a big boot to Benjamin. We take an abrupt break and come back with Tajiri in at #7 after Cat, in at #6, has already been eliminated. Of course we go through a full replay of his dancing, because IT’S JUST SO FUNNY. We come back with Billy Gunn coming in at #8 for a Fameasser on Bradshaw. Tajiri adds a Buzzsaw kick as the ring is about as full as it needs to be. Angle gets the ankle lock on Benjamin and it’s Big Show in at #9 to get everyone’s attention.

They all go after him but get shoved away with Tajiri getting chokeslammed out. Bradshaw misses a charge and goes out to thin things out a bit. John Cena, on a bad knee, is in at #10. Some clotheslines put Show on the apron but not out as we take another break. Back with Nunzio having come in at #11 and being eliminated by Cena and A-Train in at #12. Rhyno seems to have been eliminated during the break as well. Eddie, holding his head, is in at #13 as A-Train is eliminated.

Rikishi is in at #14 for a superkick to put Gunn on the apron. Show gets knocked down in the corner and takes a Stinkface with a screaming Shelton getting one as well. There’s one to Gunn as well as Hardcore Holly is in at #15, giving us a final grouping of Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Big Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly. Show chokes Cena to the floor and gets rid of him so everyone gangs up on Show, with Cena pulling him from the floor for the elimination. With nothing else going on, here’s a highlight package of some of the eliminations.

Eddie backdrops Haas out and Angle tosses Benjamin. An Angle Slam and frog splash hit Rikishi, which isn’t the best idea with someone of his size in a battle royal. Angle dumps Holly like the non-main eventer that he is to get us down to four. Eddie flips Gunn out and it’s Eddie, Angle and Rikishi to go. Rikishi superkicks Angle and chokeslams Eddie but misses the Rump Shaker on Angle.

That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to get together and eliminate Rikishi so we can have a heck of a final pairing. They slug it out until Angle starts rolling the German suplexes. Eddie hangs on and lands on the apron, even managing to get in an ankle lock on Angle. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s reversed into the same hold on Eddie. That’s reversed with a roll over the top but Eddie holds on with his feet just inches above the floor.

Back in and Eddie rolls the vertical suplexes and goes up top in a pretty dumb move. Angle runs the ropes and headbutts him, sending both guys to the ropes for a double crotching. With Eddie already staggered, Angle grabs the sleeper, which Tazz says would make this easy like Sunday morning. It switches to a chinlock, which of course energizes Eddie to bring him back to his feet. Angle gets sent to the apron for a gasp but tries a suplex to the floor. Eddie reverses that into one of his own, pulls Angle back a few steps, and throws Angle out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: A-. They did exactly what they needed to do here by setting up a new challenger in a match that didn’t drag. There were some names who didn’t need to be included in something like this and I’m glad they got rid of Holly so quickly. The experiment is over and that’s best for everyone involved. It’s hard to make a nearly forty minute match feel like less than half of that but they pulled it off here. Great match, exactly right result and nothing that felt like a dead spot.

Overall Rating: B. The main event taking up a third of the show was a good idea and while that was great, there’s only so much you can do when your first hour includes Orlando Jordan and a bad Bashams match. It’s still a very good show because that one match was really that great. The top of the card is really starting to come together and if the rest of the show can come close to it, we’re in for a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2004
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and most of Sunday is already set. You can always use more focus on the Rumble itself, but I have a bad feeling we might be in for a heavy dose of Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar tonight. I for one can’t get enough of the WWE Champion vs. the race car driver. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chavo Guerrero turning on his uncle Eddie, leading to Kurt Angle getting involved and setting up a tag match with Chavo and his dad vs. Eddie/Angle tonight. I’m not a big Chavo fan but he’s been money in this feud.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rey tries hammering away but a hard shoulder puts him down. Palumbo tries a powerbomb, earning all those right hands to the head. The 619 is loaded up early on but Johnny Stamboli low bridges Rey to the floor. Back in and Palumbo starts in on the knee by ramming it into the mat and grabbing a half crab. Ever the creative one, Rey flings his free leg back to kick Palumbo, whose staggering puts Rey closer to the ropes.

Instead of getting kicked again, Palumbo switched to a regular Boston crab. That’s broken up so Palumbo puts him on top, only to get caught with a top rope seated senton. A springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gives Mysterio two but Nunzio’s distraction lets Palumbo kick his head off. Back up and Palumbo tries a fireman’s carry, only to get reversed into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D. The problem here was with Palumbo, who clearly had no idea how to wrestle a match against someone that much smaller than him. While he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, Palumbo is big enough to wrestle a power style here and that’s not what we got. Mysterio was trying but Palumbo just isn’t that good.

Post match the FBI comes in and gives Mysterio the bigger beatdown. Jamie Noble comes out and pays them off before his match with Mysterio on Sunday. Of note: does anyone remember that Nunzio and Noble are supposed to be cousins? I don’t remember the last time it was mentioned and it certainly wasn’t here.

Paul Heyman is really not happy with John Cena and Chris Benoit for ruining the morality of this show, which certainly isn’t related to making him eat soap last week. Therefore tonight, for the sake of restoring the morals that this company were based on, they’ll be teaming up against Big Show/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno. The four of them just happen to be standing off camera.

Kurt Angle yells at Chavo and Chavo over messing with the family bond. He grew up under the pressure of having four older brothers who were better athletes than him. His way out? He won an Olympic gold medal. They’ll learn a lesson in the ring tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

No Akio/Sakoda at ringside. Kidman starts fast with an armdrag and a hurricanrana but gets pulled off the top for a crash. It’s off to an armbar on Kidman’s recently repaired shoulder in a smart move. Tazz thinks Tajiri is smart for eating so much rice and a spinning kick to the arm seems to support that line of thinking. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick but Kidman misses the shooting star. A Buzzsaw kick sends Tajiri to the Rumble.

Brock and Big Show are in the back to talk about the match and Show is sick of Lesnar following him around to “protect” him from Hardcore Holly. Show needs some time to himself and has the cops to protect him. Therefore, tonight Show is taking tonight off and after Sunday, he’s coming after the WWE Title, whether Lesnar or someone else holds it.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

A-Train has shaved his beard and possibly some of his chest hair. Shannon drop toeholds him into the middle buckle to start but gets THROWN into the same corner for a little more impact. We hit something close to a Gory Stretch but cue the Cat of all people to dance, setting up a rollup to give Shannon two. A-Train will have none of that and sends him into the steps, followed by the Train Wreck for the fast pin.

Team Lesnar is in Heyman’s office but Paul wants to know where Show is. Lesnar explains things but Heyman says Show is just getting himself fired up. It’ll be SHOW TIME when the match is on.

Video on Holly vs. Lesnar.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno

No Show, and Heyman is sitting in a lifeguard chair at ringside. Before the match, Cena (great pop on his entrance) apologizes for not rubbing the soap in Heyman’s eyes last week too. Gay jokes are made about Heyman and then Show/Lesnar/Heyman, which of course get the better reactions. Lesnar, Morgan and Rhyno come out but there’s a forklift in front of Show’s locker room, confirming that it’s going to be 3-2.

Lesnar and Benoit get things going with Brock running away and tagging in Morgan with no action. So it’s Morgan being sent face first into the buckle and Cena coming in to forearm him in the back. Cena gets taken into the corner and the numbers game starts to get the better of him as Heyman looks on in near disgust. Rhyno can’t keep Cena in trouble though and it’s back to Benoit, who gets beaten up a little more easily. Heyman is thrilled when Lesnar comes in to start stomping away but it’s quickly back to Cena. They’re certainly moving with the tags here so far.

A spinebuster cuts Cena off and it’s back to Rhyno for a cross arm choke, allowing Cole to remind us that Big Show was supposed to be involved here too for about the third time in a minute. Lesnar comes back in for the corner shoulders but misses a charge. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit so we hit the rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman’s jaw to drop in fear. Rhyno breaks up the Crossface and hits a spinebuster, only to charge into a drop toehold into the ropes.

That’s enough for Lesnar, who takes a walk but gets jumped by Hardcore Holly. Cops come in for the save and we take a break. Back with fans telling Heyman that he ate soap as Morgan comes back in to headbutt Benoit. Rhyno knocks Cena off the apron and Gores Benoit for two with Cena diving back in for the save. Morgan misses an elbow though and now the hot tag brings Cena in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cena dodges a Gore, setting up the FU for the pin on Rhyno.

Rating: C+. It’s rather impressive to turn a 4-2 handicap match into a regular tag inside of twenty minutes. Cena and Benoit battling the authority is fine though they’ll be better off when it gets down to Cena doing it alone as he’s much more anti-authority than Benoit and would fit better on his own. They’re both looking like stars though and that’s the best thing about the whole story.

Post match Cena and Benoit go after Heyman but Show comes in for some chokeslams.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda

Bradshaw beats them both up and hits a super Last Call for two on Sakoda. The double teaming starts working but, to my shock and awe, they get in an argument over who can pin Bradshaw. A double suplex gets one and another argument breaks out. Sakoda gets sent outside and Akio heads up, only to dive into the Clothesline to send Bradshaw to the Rumble.

Billy Gunn’s greatest moment ever: the wedding to Chuck. For some reason this is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music deal, though the previous two parts of the countdown were included.

Angle gives Eddie a pep talk and says the Guerrero family is messed up. If Eddie could control the Latino Heat, he could be WWE Champion. Tonight, they’re doing things by Angle’s rules: block out all emotions and concentrate on winning. Angle is kind of a jerk here.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Eddie’s music is very quiet for some reason, being little more than background noise. At least it picks up right near the end and then Angle’s music is normal. Angle has to hold Eddie back from wrecking his family so we stall a bit before the bell. Jr. and Angle start things off but Kurt wants a handshake from Eddie, who tags him instead. For some reason that doesn’t count as a tag so Angle takes Jr. down with a headlock instead. The fans think Chavo sucks, though they don’t specify which one.

Jr. gets shouldered out to the floor and that means some advice from his dad. Sr. comes in but Angle still won’t tag Eddie. Some armdrags have Angle in more control so Eddie comes in to try and get his hands on someone. That sends the Chavos bailing to the floor so now Angle brings Eddie in for real. The emotions draw Eddie outside and the double teaming has Eddie in trouble.

Sr. chokes in the corner before coming in for a bow and arrow hold, followed by a crossface chickenwing. Jr. is back in with a dropkick in the corner but Eddie scores with a dropkick and it’s Angle coming back in to clean house. Eddie tags himself back in and everything breaks down. Double suplexes take the villains down but Angle gets poked in the eye, causing him to Angle Slam Eddie by mistake. Sr. hits a DDT as Angle is taken away, leaving Jr. to frog splash Eddie for the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine here and it’s the right call to have Chavo get a pin to set up Sunday’s match. Having both Chavos in there wasn’t the worst idea in the world as it’s not like Jr. has any other friends at the moment. Throw in the touch of Eddie’s family betraying him and it’s not a bad story. Eddie vs. Angle should be awesome too and the slow build to get there is nice.

Overall Rating: B-. This was designed to be more about the big angles getting the focus and that’s a good thing. It’s also nice to have Holly vs. Lesnar get very little time as they’re not really hiding the fact that they want the match over as soon as possible. Things are starting to pick up for the early stages of Wrestlemania season and hopefully things stay hot when we really get going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 18, 2003
Location: Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the last regular show of the year as next week’s is from Iraq for the first Tribute to the Troops. Since last week’s show was a stand alone episode, odds are that’s going to be the case this week as well as I can’t imagine them setting up much and then just dropping it for a week for the special. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio last week until Hardcore Holly made the save. I might sign up for more beatings from Brock.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. It’s almost Christmas and the real reason for this season is to make love to Mrs. Claus (“She’ll be hanging off the balls from my Christmas tree.”). Funnier than his usual stuff at least.

Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title (well duh) with Cena on commentary. Jordan goes straight at him and actually knocks Show into the corner. A dropkick has no effect and the Hog Log (Cena: “The HOG LOG?”) gives Show two. Cole tries to talk in hip hop lingo and Cena just rips him apart until the chokeslam cuts Jordan off for the pin.

Post match Show and Cena have a staredown before their match next week. Of note: a fan holds up a sign saying “The guy behind me can’t see.” I’ve seen that several times before and it’s still one of the worst signs you can make. How pathetic does your life have to be that when you buy an expensive seat to a show, the best thing you can do is make a sign to intentionally ruin someone’s night? Does that make you feel good about yourself? And how annoyed would you be if someone in front of you held up the same sign?

Hardcore Holly arrives and a security guard won’t let him in. Another guard comes up to say that Holly is Paul Heyman’s invited guest and has a private room.

Back from a break with A-Train in the ring and Brock Lesnar coming out, flanked by Heyman and Matt Morgan. Brock talks about beating Mysterio last week and brings up A-Train losing to Shannon Moore. Morgan brings up A-Train losing Team Lesnar money when he lost the match, which Lesnar says was his money. After we see a clip of the loss, Lesnar demands an answer and it better be good. A-Train apologizes for losing the money and embarrassing the team but wants to make things better.

Heyman thinks A-Train could make it up by dealing with Hardcore Holly. See, Holly’s suspension is lifted and tonight it’s an All or Nothing match. If Holly wins, he gets a title shot against Lesnar. If Holly loses, his contract is terminated immediately and he’s gone from WWE altogether. Tonight, it’s a tag team match with A-Train/Morgan vs. Holly/Moore. Lesnar doesn’t seem happy, much like the fans who are getting that as a main event.

Christmas in Iraq video.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Shaniqua is back with the Bashams (having not actually missed any time) but thankfully the masks are gone. Eddie and Rikishi start with the big man launching Eddie over in a backdrop. Chavo comes in and both Guerreros are suplexed at the same time. They escape a double Stinkface though and it’s off to Haas, who tries to slam Rikishi due to reasons of low intelligence.

Scotty comes in for some elbow drops but Haas brings in Shelton to take over. A very fast exploder suplex puts Scotty down but Danny and Eddie tag themselves in with a hurricanrana putting Danny down in a hurry. Both Bashams wind up in the corner for the double Stinkface with everyone else cheering. Thankfully we don’t get any jokes about them liking it as we take a break.

Chavo takes Danny up for a superplex but Doug comes in with a frog splash (a very telegraphed one too) to retain, even though Eddie hit them for the save before the three count. You could see Nick Patrick looking all over the place as he counted (like he was looking for someone to make a save) and Cole sounded a little confused too so something didn’t seem right there.

Rating: D+. Such is the problem with these matches containing so many people. With all the blind tags and quick sequences where you have to get people in and out to make sure everyone gets some time, you can’t get anything going. Also, yay the Bashams retain in a match where you don’t even have to have them lose the fall to get the titles off of them. There’s no coming back from such a stupid and terrible gimmick and having them hold the titles even longer isn’t making them any more over than they were before.

Heyman has put everyone’s name into a tumbler (save for Chris Benoit of course) and tonight, Lesnar is going to pull one out to give someone a title shot.

Lamont introduces The Cat for the weekly dancing session. Cole: “Somebody call my papa!” Cue Sable before he can get anywhere for some ranting and raving about him kissing her last week. Cat says he did (well yeah) but she didn’t look too hot last week. All he was trying to do was give her some hot Cat sugar to warm her up. He goes to kiss her again but here’s Vince to interrupt. Lamont holds the ropes open so Vince knocks him off as I cringe at where this may go.

Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince says he’s the greatest, Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince dances, Cat dances and Vince kicks Cat low. Vince: “SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE CAT’S MAMA!” So Vince and the Cat are having a dance off on a show where Hardcore Holly is in the main event for a chance to become #1 contender. Oh and the Tag Team Champions are sex slaves to the most boring dominatrix of all time. Kind of a drop from the Smackdown Six days.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

For the #1 contendership. They hit the mat to start before running the ropes, including a monkey flip to put Noble down. Rey tries it again but Noble sticks the landing, setting up stereo dropkicks for a standoff. Rey’s headscissors out of the corner is countered into a faceplant and we hit a camel clutch. Back up and Noble’s charge hits post so Rey gets in a moonsault press for two.

In a counter that you would think someone else would have used before, Noble pulls the ropes apart and Rey crashes to the floor on a 619 attempt. That’s not enough for Jamie though as he throws Nidia inside and dropkicks her into the referee and Rey. Not that it matters as the tiger driver is countered into a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin. So Noble isn’t just a cheater, but also stupid. Such is life as a heel.

Rating: C-. The ending brings it down, much like Noble’s face run being aborted pretty quickly. I was digging his time for the forces of good but instead of making a new name out of a talented guy, let’s go with a story about Nidia instead. You know, the chick from Tough Enough so they might be able to get another season of the show.

Jamie tells Nidia that it was Mysterio.

Holly isn’t happy but he’ll do what he has to do tonight. He’s going to break Brock’s neck and take his title. No Bob, you’re not.

Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo

Benoit clears the ring of Nunzio and Stamboli but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot. The referee ejects the other two to get things even, albeit with Palumbo in full control to start. The big right hands connect and it’s time to talk about Iraq again. A cravate and belly to back suplex give Palumbo two but Benoit snaps him down by the arm. Back up and Palumbo goes shoulder first into the post (second match in a row) to set up the Crossface. Palumbo makes the rope so Benoit grabs a dragon screw legwhip. Some German suplexes into the Swan Dive get two so it’s the Crossface to make Palumbo tap.

Rating: C. This was completely fine as Benoit survives an early disadvantage to win. It’s good that they have something planned for him with this “he can’t have a title shot” thing as it makes Benoit seem like a threat to Lesnar. That’s what they need to build up, especially with Holly being the current challenger. Have I mentioned how stupid that really is? I wouldn’t want the message to be lost.

Rey comes in to see Nidia and explains (in Spanish for no apparent reason) that it was Jamie who dropkicked her. Nidia doesn’t believe him.

Rhyno vs. Faarooq

Rhyno wanted Bradshaw but gets Faarooq instead as Bradshaw is already in Iraq. Faarooq catches him from trying to run and hits a forearm to the back. A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Faarooq and it’s Rhyno stomping away back inside. The spinebuster gives Faarooq two so Rhyno hits him low for the fast DQ.

Rhyno Gores him down post match.

Heyman hypes up the possible matches for Lesnar, making it very clear that it’s going to be a joke.

In the ring, Heyman brings out Lesnar for the drawing. An annoyed Lesnar pulls out a name and we have a match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock is defending. Shannon gets in a few shots to the knee and hits a dropkick to the jaw. That’s enough though as a series of clotheslines sets up the Brock Lock to retain the title in less than two minutes.

Post match Lesnar brags about being the best champion ever. He could have defended against anyone and pulls some more balls out of the tumbler. They all say Moore.

Hardcore Holly/Shannon Moore vs. A-Train/Matt Morgan

Yes your final three matches include Faarooq, Moore and Holly. Lesnar is at ringside and Lesnar is flanked by security. With Holly yelling at Lesnar, A-Train and Morgan run in to jump the still beaten down Moore. Morgan does the boot choke in the corner and A-Train hits a bunch of backbreakers.

A bearhug goes on with Morgan shaking Moore around and the Train Wreck draws Holly in for a save. An enziguri is enough for the hot tag so Holly can clean house until Lesnar chairs him in the back. Cole rants about how Holly has everything on the line before saying he has nothing to lose. A sitout powerbomb gives Morgan two but A-Train runs into Matt by mistake. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin.

Rating: D. Shannon’s selling was good (as always) but egads I’m not going to care about Holly. Who is buying that Lesnar is scared of the guy who spent years as a race car driver and then as part of a wacky family while trading the Hardcore Title with Road Dogg? I can’t imagine even a small portion of the audience is buying Holly as a real threat to Lesnar and it’s killing the story they’re going for. Holly’s team winning was very clear and at least they kept it short.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh my goodness Christmas has come early. By that I mean Christmas vacation as there wasn’t a lot of interest put into this show with a bunch of matches being too short to rate and Holly and Moore getting a ton of TV time. How am I supposed to get into much going on right now as we’re still waiting on Benoit to get his big time chance? I know it’s coming but they’re not making it easy to get there. Now to be fair a lot of that is just due to the holiday season, but egads find something better to bridge the gap.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 11, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re now on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means….well it probably means that the show takes a few weeks off. Last week saw Chris Benoit fall just short of winning the Smackdown World Title from Brock Lesnar, who now gets to move on to Hardcore Holly. A main event in probably no arena in the country. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open on a very close shot of Paul Heyman as he says Chris Benoit will never get another shot at the WWE Title as long as Heyman is General Manager.

Opening sequence.

Heyman is in the ring to get things going. He’s going to follow a tradition and build Smackdown on the back of Brock Lesnar. Vince McMahon Sr. built the company on the back of Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon Jr. built his company on the backs of Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Last week Chris Benoit got a little too close to destroying Heyman’s vision so there will be no more title shots at this man.

Brock comes out and smiles a lot as you can see the YOU TAPPED OUT signs in the crowd. Just in case that’s not enough, the accompanying chants start up as well. Lesnar rants about demanding respect and says it was Benoit who tapped out to him. We see a clip of Benoit “tapping” after passing out and Lesnar rants against the fans, only showing why he shouldn’t be allowed to talk that often. Lesnar says he has a chant for the fans here in Mexico, even though Heyman says we’re in San Diego. Lesnar: “It looks like Mexico out here!”

Cue Rey Mysterio to say he won’t let Lesnar make fun of his people and his family. Rey is here to issue a challenge for tonight and that means a 619 chant. Lesnar doesn’t agree so testicle jokes are made, which is enough to get the match made, albeit non-title of course. Brock does throw in a bonus: if Rey can win tonight, he can have a title shot next week. That’s cool with Rey, who promises a 619 chant next week. Perfectly fine for a one/two week story.

Rhyno vs. Bradshaw

Fallout from a Gore on Velocity. Bradshaw forearms him into the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The threat of a Clothesline sends Rhyno bailing to the floor but he comes back in with a DDT for two. For reasons of general idiocy, Rhyno goes up top, allowing Bradshaw to hit a super fall away slam to take over again. A superplex plants Rhyno and they lay on the mat for a few seconds before Bradshaw lifts his legs, allowing Rhyno to turn it into a small package for the pin. That didn’t look contrived in the slightest.

Rating: D. Believe it or not I actually had some expectations here as these two could have a decent, short power match. For some reason though they couldn’t even do that right and it made for a lame outing, especially for the ending. Bad match here, which is actually a bit of a surprise.

Paul Heyman is with A-Train and Matt Morgan and mentions that he’s gotten rid of Nathan Jones. No reason is given, but he quit the company while on tour in Australia. Anyway A-Train needs to prove himself to make up for betting against Brock last week so he’s going to face Shannon Moore. Morgan tells him not to blow it.

The Bashams want to bet on themselves in their Tag Team Title defense next week, which nearly leads to a fight with the FBI over Shaniqua being rough with the money. Didn’t she dump them? They leave so Matt Morgan comes in to put everything he has on A-Train against Moore. Pretty obvious payoff but it might work here.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has taped up ribs so A-Train punches him in the bandages and hits a splash in the corner. A spinning crossbody to the back puts A-Train down but A-Train tosses him outside and hits the ribs again. Back in and Shannon grabs a quick sunset flip for the clean fluke pin.

Post match here are Morgan and Big Show to beat up Moore but A-Train takes a beating of his own.

Cat is getting ready to dance.

Highlights of the Asia/Australia tour.

Here’s Lamont to introduce Cat to dance with Sable. Therefore here’s Sable, who says she’s not dancing for anyone but Vince McMahon. Cat isn’t happy so he kisses her, causing Sable to leave. That means Cat takes his pants off and dances. This might be the most “because Vince thinks it’s funny” segment in years.

Eddie Guerrero offers Chavo a Y J Stinger hat but promises to be serious. Chavo says his knee is feeling good enough that he doesn’t even need to tag Eddie in. They’re both going to steal the show.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Eddie and Charlie start things off with neither being able to get the better of a technical off. Shelton comes in to try a test of strength as the EDDIE chants begin. Eddie gets the better of it and takes him down to the mat, legitimately injuring his shoulder in the process. Shelton gets sent into the corner so it’s off to Chavo as Eddie chokes from the apron. Shelton knocks him outside and opens the hood of the low rider in an attempt to crush Eddie’s arm. Well that certainly accelerated quickly.

With that not working, Shelton sends him arm first into the post and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Shelton slingshotting in to land on the arm again. Charlie lets Eddie over for the tag for some reason and it’s Chavo coming in to clean house. A headscissors drops Charlie and a middle rope twisting swanton gets two. Another armbar slows Charlie down but Shelton kicks out Chavo’s bad knee to take over again.

Shelton slingshots in onto the knee as at least they’re mixing up the leg work. We hit a half crab but Eddie gets creative by taking off the tag rope, which draws the referee over and allows Eddie to break up the hold. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Shelton pulls Eddie off the apron. Back up and Eddie dives over Charlie for the real hot tag but the bad arm keeps things from their usual pace. A monkey flip doesn’t work on Shelton as he lands on his feet but a dropkick sends him into Haas.

Charlie is fine enough to superplex Eddie and everyone is down again. It’s Shelton up first to jump over Charlie and land on Eddie’s back but a one legged Chavo makes the save. Eddie is fine enough to hit the rolling suplexes but Chavo tags himself in and hits the frog splash on Shelton. Eddie takes his time leaving though and it’s only good for a delayed two. Back up and Shelton superkicks Chavo and covers but Chavo isn’t legal. The referee straightens things out so Eddie pulls the air filter from the low rider and knocks Shelton cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. The arm injury clearly slowed Eddie a lot but even a below peak condition Eddie is still better than most performers ever. Chavo’s jealously can continue with Eddie stealing the pin as the team continues to win but also continues to deteriorate. It’s going to make Eddie into a bigger deal and that’s what matters most.

Tribute to the Troops is announced. That’s still a really cool concept, but once it turned into a stateside event, it stopped feeling special.

Here’s Big Show, dressed like John Cena, for a battle rap. Cena comes out and Show does the slow paced rhyming, including saying that he’s 500lbs and is the Kobe Bryant to Cena’s white girl. Oh and his finger is bigger than Cena’s…..anyway moving on. Cena’s response: Show is fat, in various forms of funny insults. He throws in a low blow for good measure and bails. This really wasn’t funny, but it was better than the Cat segment.

We recap Brock vs. Benoit last week.

Benoit passed out instead of giving up last week and now he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get another title shot.

Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title and Rey’s family is in the front row. Brock makes short jokes and takes his time in going after Mysterio. Eventually he grabs Rey by the foot and swings him into the corner because he’s just that big. Rey dropkicks the knee and sends a charging Lesnar face first into the middle buckle.

Brock snaps up and the chase is on until Brock finally stops and glares at him. This time he picks up the steps but Rey dropkicks them into his face. That’s about it for Rey’s offense though as Brock sends him into the post, only to get hurricanranaed to the floor. Brock gets sent into the post and Rey hits a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Brock catching a high crossbody and distracting the referee so he can get in a low blow. Cole is INCENSED that Brock would have to cheat and the stomping continues.

It’s off to a bodyscissors with a crossarm choke as Brock is dominating. He gets tired of the hold though and lets Rey up, allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 for a close two. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors and a standing hurricanrana give Rey two more but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb. The Brock Lock makes Rey tap.

Rating: C-. Mysterio was trying here and the match wasn’t bad, but there was no drama to the whole thing and that was pretty clear. It wouldn’t make sense to have Mysterio win here just because it was in his hometown and the amount of offense he got in was more than enough. Lesnar taunting him was fine and Mysterio didn’t get squashed so what more can you ask for?

Post match a fan, who was sitting with Mysterio’s family, runs in and it’s Hardcore Holly. The beating is on and some right hands send Brock outside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show but as is WWE tradition, the build for the next pay per view can’t begin until this one is over, even if there’s no connection between the two shows. Benoit is still trying to get to the title and Cena is stuck not challenging for the US Title but at least we’re getting some good stuff with Eddie and Brock. The show needs a fresh top challenger though and Holly….I think that says enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 4, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have a World Title match headlining the show. Before we can get to that match though, we need a challenger for the title. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Chris Benoit in a #1 contenders match with the winner facing Brock Lesnar for the World Title later in the night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the battle royal with Benoit and Cena both winning, setting up tonight’s title situation.

Here’s Brock to start things off and he wants us to get our YOU TAPPED OUT chants in now because no one will be able to say anything after tonight. He will never tap out again because he’s the greatest WWE Champion ever. Lesnar recaps last week’s events and says he knows Benoit and Cena are scared of him. He beats people up, just like Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly. Tonight, he’s making someone tap out. This was one of the most unnecessary recaps in recent memory.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Shaniqua unmasks the Bashams and let’s pause for a whipping. Again: these are your champions. Danny starts stupid by trying a sunset flip on Rikishi, earning himself a sitdown splash to the face. Doug and Scotty come in as things speed up, including Scotty hitting a flying forearm. Shaniqua’s save attempt earns her an ejection, leaving Danny to drop a Vader Bomb elbow for two on Scotty.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a bit with Scotty kicking Doug off and bringing Rikishi in. The big man cleans house and crushes Doug in the corner but here’s Shaniqua again. What a rule breaker. The Bashams switch and Danny hits Rikishi low. The Worm connects anyway but Rikishi is back up with the Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Egads what a wreck, and that’s not even including the champions being whipped before the match. The match had very little flow to the match and was a bunch of back and forth brawling with little reason to any of it. The Bashams have been treated like jokes since winning the titles and I have no idea why they’re still champions, save for having no one else to win the things. It’s not like the World’s Greatest Tag Team is on the same show and could have great matches with just about anyone.

Post match Shaniqua yells that they don’t deserve her and walks off. Again: the Tag Team Champions everyone.

We recap the Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar feud.

Paul Heyman is sick of Holly when Dawn Marie comes in, trying to sleep her way into power. Heyman isn’t interested but does tell her to take a memo: Holly is still suspended. She can also have Shannon Moore meet him in the ring. Thank you for not having Heyman turn into a Vince clone.

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. We see some clips of Shannon Moore’s decimation in recent weeks at the monsters’ hands. Heyman wants Shannon out here right now, which tells me that Dawn is really bad at her job. With Shannon in the ring, Heyman praises him for taking a beating and coming back for more over and over again. Therefore, Shannon gets another match tonight.

Big Show vs. Shannon Moore

Non-title of course. Shannon, who looks terrified, tries a plancha to the floor. Show catches him in midair and throws Shannon from the floor onto the top rope in a cool power display. They head inside with a heck of a clothesline taking Shannon’s head off. Show rips at his face and drops a leg before finishing with the chokeslam in very short order.

Jamie Noble again tells Nidia to stay in the back during his match. She’s already caused him to have two strikes against ever getting another Cruiserweight Title shot. This is about her safety though. Nidia is disappointed but Jamie has an idea.

Sakoda vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings Nidia out with him and hammers away at Sakoda to start. A clothesline takes Noble down and a backbreaker keeps him in trouble. Sakoda gets sent outside though and Jamie adds a suicide dive (more like a suicide shove) to keep him down. The referee has to deal with Tajiri though, allowing Noble to throw Nidia inside and ram her into Sakoda. That’s enough to set up a rollup to give Noble the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much time to do anything here but it’s nice to see Noble get a win. At the same time though, it’s not nice to see Noble turning heel again after he was starting to find his footing as a face. I’m not sure where this leaves Noble though, as he doesn’t have an opponent since the division basically doesn’t exist. Hopefully he’s still around though because I’ve enjoyed him more than most people on this show as of late.

Post match Nidia freaks out so Noble tells her that Tajiri’s other goon threw her inside.

Cole and Tazz act like Noble shot someone.

We look back at the end of the battle royal again. It’s impressive that they managed to get their feet on the ground at the exact same time.

Cena is ready to do whatever it takes to win. Benoit comes in and says he can get the Crossface on at anytime.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Heyman is protecting Brock because either of them could beat Brock. Benoit wastes no time in pounding Cena down in the corner and getting two off a shoulder. The hard clothesline and the Shuffle give Cena the same as the fans are behind Cena so far. A double chickenwing keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets two. Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex but the frustration over the kickout lets Benoit roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and the FU connects for the pin….but Benoit’s foot was on the ropes.

The referee didn’t see it so here’s a second referee to throw us to instant replay. As you try to figure out if WWE has ever done that before or since, the match is ruled to restart. Back from a break with Cena missing a clothesline and having his arm slammed into the mat. Benoit dropkicks the arm and hits a hammerlock northern lights suplex as the target is set up. More kicks and stomps to the arm as Taz thinks Cena can’t get out of the blocks. How much more out of them does he need to get when he already pinned Benoit once?

We hit an armbar for a few moments but Cena shoves him away and scores with a knee to the ribs. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right back with a Sharpshooter. Cena makes a rope and Tazz calls this a pick’em, despite Benoit being in full control. An FU (more like a Samoan drop) puts Benoit down but here’s Big Show for a distraction. Benoit is right there with the Crossface and Cena taps to give Benoit the title shot.

Rating: B. It was a little overbooked but it told a story and the right guy won. Even if Benoit loses later in the night, it’s as simple of an excuse as he went fifteen minutes earlier in the night and isn’t at 100%. Cena isn’t ready for this big of a win yet and he gets some points back from the pin earlier in the match. This should set up Big Show vs. Cena (non-title of course because Big Show isn’t that kind of champion) but I could see them waiting around even more on the big Cena push.

Chavo Guerrero has a match but wants Eddie to stay in the back, despite Chavo having a bad knee. Eddie wants to know what’s wrong with him but Chavo says for once, it’s about him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is ready to go but here’s Eddie in a lowrider anyway. Well he did rent the thing already so it’s not costing anything extra. Shelton jumps the distracted Chavo from behind but a headscissors gets Chavo out of trouble. As this is going on, Eddie pulls out a lawn chair, one of those hats with a pair of drinks (Y J Stinger in this case) and a Smackdown Magazine.

Shelton uses the second distraction to start going after the knee with a shinbreaker and a leglock. Back up and Chavo makes a standard comeback, capped off with a tornado DDT. The referee has to deal with Charlie Haas though, leaving Eddie to frog splash Shelton and give Eddie the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick angle advancement here as Chavo’s full on heel turn gets one week close. That’s the smart move too as the fans aren’t going to boo Eddie no matter what he does at this point. Chavo isn’t the most interesting guy but a family member stabbing him in the back and turning on him is going to work just fine.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

Benoit shows us the clip of Brock tapping at Survivor Series, triggering the YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

The FBI takes bets on the main event with A-Train betting $10,000 on Benoit. That’s quite the show of respect. It’s also a show of the two feuding again after Benoit loses.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging. Brock wastes no time in firing off the hard shoulders in the corner and stomping at the ribs. Some armdrags send Lesnar outside and Benoit posts him for good measure. Back in and a Crossface attempt sends Lesnar outside again. Benoit tries to go a bit too fast though and gets caught in what would become known as the Shell Shock. Brock sends him outside again and gorilla press drops him on the announcers’ table.

It’s time for the rear naked choke but since this isn’t MMA Brock yet, it’s a glorified chinlock. Benoit fights up, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to send us to a break. Back with Benoit missing a charge and falling out to the floor. One heck of a whip into the steps rocks Benoit but really seems to wake him up for some right hands to Lesnar’s head. Another whip into the steps has Brock in trouble but he’s right back with a release German suplex to cut Benoit off again.

Much like Benoit earlier, Brock tries to get too speedy and charges into the post, allowing Benoit to show him the proper way to roll German suplexes. A flying tackle of all things sets up the Swan Dive for two but Brock rolls out of the Crossface. The ref gets bumped (erg) and the Crossface goes on, making Lesnar tap. Brock hits a very fast F5 with Benoit landing on his back for a delayed two. With the YOU TAPPED OUT chants making Brock angrier, he chairs Benoit on the knee and debuts the Brock Lock, bending Benoit’s knee around his neck and sitting down like a half crab. Benoit passes out to retain Brock’s title.

Rating: B+. That’s all you could hope for it to be with Benoit getting closer and closer every single time but not being able to get over the goal line again. As mentioned though, you can just point to him having two matches tonight and it’s instantly excused. Throw in Brock tapping to the Crossface and you could easily have a rematch.

Post match Brock puts on a Crossface of his own and grabs Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re advancing several stories here and that’s a good thing, though some of the stories are a good bit better than others. Benoit looked like a star here and that’s what matters most. I could go for Cena vs. Lesnar at the Royal Rumble instead of Lesnar vs. Holly, but since the story is already there with Holly, WWE’s hands are completely tied and they have no choice but to go that way instead of with the interesting and better match. The wrestling was good here, but I could go for some heels that aren’t either Heyman or not covered in muscles for a change. Issues aside, good night overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE has an interesting way of determining the best.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-435-days-champion-thats-long-time/

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 27, 2003
Location: BSU Pavilion, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and there are some stories that are starting to pick up steam. Last week saw Chris Benoit continue his feud with Smackdown World Champion Brock Lesnar and John Cena seemed ready to start something with Vince McMahon. They have about two months before they can do anything on pay per view but maybe we can get a big TV match in there somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with most of the roster standing on the apron and Paul Heyman in the ring. Tonight the spirit of opportunity is in the air because there will be a twenty man battle royal. The winner will receive a shot at Brock Lesnar, who comes to the ring to join Heyman. Lesnar is thankful to be twenty six years old and on his way to being the greatest WWE Champion of all time.

The YOU TAPPED OUT chants get on his nerves but he swears that he’s not afraid of anyone. He’s not afraid of a Mexican jumping bean, or someone who stands 7ft tall and weighs 500lbs or a guy who has never been champion (Cena) or a guy who will never be champion (Benoit). The chants start again and Lesnar admits that he did, but he’ll never do it again. Whoever wins the battle royal is going to tap out instead. Brock whispers something to Heyman, who decides that Cena and Benoit have to qualify for the battle royal. Cena has to defeat A-Train and Benoit will face a hand picked opponent, with that match starting next.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Morgan

This couldn’t be announced five minutes in advance? Benoit baseball slides him before the bell but Morgan goes to the basic power by throwing him into various corners. A suplex and legdrop to the stomp give Morgan two but he misses the running crotch attack to the back. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit reverses a powerbomb into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: D. Time takes another one here as there’s not much Benoit can do when all he’s able to hit are chops and the Crossface. Morgan is still very green and needs more time in developmental, but he has the look and some of the movement down. The size, power and visuals will carry him far enough though and that’s a good starting point.

Jamie Noble asks Nidia if she can’t see because she might be trying to get extra attention. Nidia mocks her for the stupid question so he shouts in her ear because he thinks being blind and deaf are the same things. He brings up her being a liability at ringside so she promises to just sit at ringside, which is enough to make him give in. Also of note: Jamie says a win tonight could get him into the battle royal so he could become WWE Champion. If he’s allowed to compete for that title, why does the Cruiserweight Title exist?

We get a weird (and stupid) bit with Cole and Tazz as CGI turkeys. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

The Cat is here tonight.

Jamie Noble vs. Akio

Nidia is on commentary. Akio jumps him from behind to start and stomps away in the corner as Nidia talks about the possibilities of getting her sight back. A suicide dive takes Akio down but Noble chases Tajiri, allowing Akio to spinwheel kick him down. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence as Nidia is getting annoyed at not being able to see any of this.

A double clothesline takes both guys down and cheers for Jamie after hearing what happened. Jamie gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Tajiri is going over to Nidia. A superplex drops Akio as Tajiri is now standing on the table in front of her. Nidia is told what’s going on and slowly walks her hands up Tajiri’s legs, setting up one of the best looking low blows I’ve seen in a long time. Tajiri’s eyes bug out as Akio rolls up a distracted Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C-. That low blow alone made the match work and Jamie continues to be one of the most consistent performers on the roster at the moment. Even with an annoying gimmick he’s making the thing work and putting on good matches. I’d love to see him actually get the title back but that’s as far as he’s going to go, which is the annoying part of being a cruiserweight.

Heyman comes in to see the injured Shannon Moore and, after a plug for Smackdown Magazine, gives him a match with Nathan Jones.

Rey Mysterio is thankful for the fans dialing up 619 and for being alive. Well those are rather opposite ends of the spectrum.

Shannon Moore vs. Nathan Jones

Shannon tries his luck and dropkicks Jones before he can get inside. Jones lifts him from the floor to the top rope and shoves him back onto the floor in a big crash. Two raised feet in the corner rock Jones but he’s right back with a reverse slam off the top. Back in and a release gutwrench suplexes ends the slaughter. Moore’s selling continues to be good in something like this.

The Thanksgiving party took place earlier today with John Cena coming in to rap the blessing, which involves sex jokes about every woman on the roster.

Eddie Guerrero runs into Chavo, who is on crutches after last week. Chavo is going to be ringside for Eddie’s match but Eddie wants Chavo to worry about the knee. Don’t worry though, because Eddie’s success is more important.

Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero

Charlie’s right hands have very little effect to start as Eddie snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s enough of the back so Eddie starts in on the knee with Chavo adding in a few shots of his own. Haas gets in his own backbreaker for his own two as the fans start some solid Eddie chanting. With that not working, Charlie starts in on the arm to really change things up. Annoyed at Haas for not trying the same thing for very long, Eddie sends him head first into the buckle a few times, followed by Three Amigos. Shelton Benjamin gets on the apron so Eddie steals Chavo’s crutch to hit Charlie for the pin.

Rating: C. As has been the case for the last few weeks, this was a short match that could have gone longer but I can get the idea of putting in more stuff and going with the logical, positive development. Eddie using the crutch was pretty heelish but he’s just going to grin his way out of it, as tends to be his case.

Post match Shelton beats on Chavo so Eddie makes the save with the crutch. Chavo rips into Eddie for STEALING AN INJURED MAN’S ONLY CRUTCH. Well yeah that’s pretty low.

John Cena vs. A-Train

A-Train breaks up the rap and stomps away but misses the bicycle kick. Instead he runs Cena over and gets two off a running powerslam. It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments before Cena is tossed outside. As the announcers have a discussion of whether or not turkeys have hair, the referee gets bumped so Cena can kick the rope for a low blow. The referee is back up to see a slow motion ProtoBomb but A-Train is right back with a Derailer for two. That means it’s time to be frustrated so A-Train throws some chairs in, only to walk into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing well with the progression of Cena’s face turn here as the cheating is getting less frequent. Here, he finished clean with the FU instead of using one of the chairs that A-Train threw in. He’s starting to see the light, but he’s also getting to the point where he can win without the cheating. They’re getting there.

We recap Hardcore Holly attacking Brock Lesnar last week and getting suspended.

Hardcore Holly joins us for a live interview and says he’s appealed his suspension (To whom? Vince? The mythical board of directors?) and is coming for Brock. I would say run but….is that really a threat?

Here’s Lamont to introduce his boss: The Cat, to what would become Brodus Clay’s theme music. For those of you who don’t remember him, that would be Ernest Miller, a decent talker who couldn’t wrestle a good match 80% of the time (he wasn’t the worst but rarely got out of first gear) and danced a lot while talking like James Brown. Cat dances, no one cares, hometown girl Torrie Wilson comes out to join him, a few people care. Torrie pulls out the lollipop and puts it in her mouth before lowering it into his mouth. Cat goes into convulsions as Torrie leaves. This took nearly seven minutes.

John Cena wishes some friends and family a Happy Thanksgiving.

Battle Royal

John Cena, Chris Benoit, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, A-Train, Bradshaw, Johnny Stamboli, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, Rhyno, Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, Big Show

Show actually goes after Morgan for a few seconds but Jones saves Rikishi for some reason. A bunch of people go after Show but he shoves them all away. They try it again and actually try to lift him this time, meaning the elimination works. I’m surprised they got rid of him that fast. Show clotheslines Jordan in the aisle to blow off some steam as we go to a quick break.

Back with Jones and Bradshaw having been eliminated during the commercial. Mysterio and Guerrero go at it and the fans REALLY like that one but no one is tossed. Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the apron as A-Train kicks Scotty out. Rhyno is up with a Gore to A-Train and Eddie dropkicks A-Train out, followed by Morgan eliminating Rhyno as well. There’s a 619 to Shelton as everything slows down. Rikishi is the next person to get the group elimination but takes Haas, Palumbo and Morgan with him.

We’re down to Cena, Benoit, Doug Basham, Mysterio, Guerrero and Benjamin. Cena and Benoit catch Mysterio’s springboard and toss him as well with Basham going out seconds later. The final four go to a corner each and the fans are behind Cena here. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit as Cena and Shelton fight in the corner. They trade off and Cena takes Three Amigos but isn’t ready to be eliminated.

Shelton is back up with a hard powerbomb on Eddie but Benoit grabs the rolling German suplexes on Benjamin to put everyone down. Eddie is up with a frog splash on Benjamin but walks into the FU. Now the rolling German suplexes drops Cena so Shelton pops up with a superkick to Benoit. Shelton throws Benoit over but a little skinning the cat allows Benoit to pull himself up for a headscissors to get rid of Benjamin.

Cena dumps Eddie and we’re down to two. The slugout goes to Cena but Benoit grabs the Crossface to make Cena tap (you don’t see that too often). Instead of dumping him though, Benoit drops Cena ribs first onto the top rope. They fight onto the apron and fall to the floor at the same time for the double elimination.

Rating: C+. This got way better once we got to the final four when there was some drama about the winner. They didn’t waste time getting rid of a bunch of the dead weight here and it was cool to see Shelton getting a bit of a push. Cena is clearly the future around here though and that makes thing more interesting. Good match here and it didn’t feel long at all, which is a rarity in battle royals.

The referees, wrestlers and announcers argue as Lesnar and Heyman come out for the title match. Back from a break with replays showing that they really do land at the same time. The referees still don’t agree and both wrestlers swear they win. Heyman thinks that means a triple threat but that wouldn’t be in the best interest of the title. Therefore, Cena and Benoit can fight next week and the winner will get the title shot later that night. So there’s your non-pay per view big TV show of the month. Team Lesnar runs in to beat down Cena and Benoit with Lesnar wishing them a happy Thanksgiving to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Lame ending aside with the lack of the advertised title match, it’s cool to have a show that actually has an interesting goal and then focuses on that goal for two hours. Most of the matches have to do with setting up the battle royal and you can feel Cena and Benoit getting bigger and bigger every week. There’s a lot of potential in there and if they do it right, Smackdown could be a heck of a show again in very short order.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6