Main Event – September 21, 2017: Just What It Should Be
Main Event Date: September 21, 2017 Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph
It’s time to get ready for No Mercy and that means the big hype for the two main events. This week is one of the biggest cards for a B show in company history and that means we might be in for a special night on Sunday. Therefore, you can pretty much guess what we’ll be seeing on this show. Let’s get to it.
In memory of Bobby Heenan.
Opening sequence, still featuring a bunch of people who will never be on this show.
Heath Slater vs. Dash Wilder
Heath is introduced as “one half of the tag team of Rhyno and Heath Slater.” That’s quite formal no? Hang on a second as Slater has to remove the shirt, which Wilder takes and declares himself to be the daddy. Slater grabs an armbar to start but gets his head taken off by a hard clothesline. Wilder slugs him down without much effort and puts on a headlock to keep things slow. Back up and Slater scores with the side kick, followed by a running neckbreaker for two. Wilder gets the same off a powerslam, only to have Heath slip out of a suplex and hit Sweetness (implant DDT) for the pin at 5:24.
Rating: C. Slater is still a perfectly fine choice for an opening act like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. The fans love him and he’s not hurting anything by beating a tag wrestler whose partner is on the shelf. Slater doesn’t have much of a singles resume but it’s better than Wilder’s, who has barely ever done any singles work.
From Raw for the first time.
Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax
Non-title. Alexa bails to the floor to start before completely failing at a waistlock. Nia chokes her a bit and Bliss goes up the ramp, only to be cut off by Sasha Banks. Jax runs Bliss over again and we take a break. Back with Nia going shoulder first into the post and a dropkick staggering her again. Bliss’ high crossbody gets countered into a Samoan drop for the pin at 6:39. Not enough to rate but this was a squash. I’m not wild on a champion being pinned clean but it fights the story perfectly in this case and is a lot more acceptable.
Sasha comes in and gets tossed down as well. Cue the returning Bayley (hometown girl) to help Sasha and Alexa clear Jax to the floor. Bliss celebrates with them and gets beaten down as well. Sasha and Bayley celebrate a bit.
Long video on Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar.
It’s Hispanic Heritage Month (and they only took two weeks to start talking about it) so here’s a video on Rey Mysterio. Makes more sense than the Jennifer Lopez one on Raw.
Mustafa Ali/Lince Dorado vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Nese shows off the bicep to start but still manages to send Dorado into the buckle a few times. That’s some pretty bad technicoing. Dorado hits his Lionsault press for two and a hurricanrana puts Nese down again. A double flapjack does the same to Daivari so the villains hit the floor and bail before the double dives can hit. We take a break and come back with Daivari clotheslining the heck out of Dorado to take over.
There’s a double suplex for two and it’s Nese grabbing a bodyscissors to keep Dorado down. The handspring Stunner finally gets Dorado out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Ali for his usual stuff. The rolling neckbreaker out of the corner gets two, followed by a moonsault using Dorado as a springboard. Back in and the tornado DDT plants Daivari, followed by the 054 for the pin at 11:20.
Rating: C+. These matches might be a bit repetitive but they’re always at least somewhat fun. The cruiserweights fly all over the place and put on a heck of a show, which is all you can ask for in a ten minute match. These things aren’t designed to do anything more than entertain and that’s what they’re doing here.
We’ll wrap it up here.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat as this show is allergic to actual wrestling. Reigns gets booed but he thinks this should get booed anyway. Some people think Cena is the best talker of all time but sometimes he says some stupid s***. People have been talking about Reigns being the next Cena but he’s not a white guy with a military crew cut. If he was, he wouldn’t have a job here. If you don’t believe that, just ask Alex Riley.
Reigns calls Cena a fake guy and shows us a clip from five years ago with Cena talking about Rock being a part timer who keeps bailing to Hollywood. Reigns asks if Cena should come out here and brings up the loss to Rock at Wrestlemania. Roman will see San Jose next time and says he’ll see Cena on Sunday, movie star. This was FAR better from Reigns as he actually made a point and told a story (Reigns is the guy that Cena claimed to be and actually backs it up by being here) while also not having Cena (a far better talker than Reigns could ever hope to be) cutting him down every few seconds.
Overall Rating: C+. Another good show here as I’m actually fired up for Sunday’s double main event. I could easily see either match closing the show and that makes for an interesting way to run a pay per view. The wrestling here was fine but there’s no pretending that this was anything more than a last minute push towards the pay per view, as it should be.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – April 17, 2003: The Old (Really Old) Smackeroo
Smackdown Date: April 17, 2003 Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s tournament night as we have the finals to crown a new #1 contender. John Cena will be facing Chris Benoit, which is pretty much the best final they could have gone for. Cena should be the favorite after having spent weeks taunting Lesnar but Benoit is one of those cases where it’s easy to see him pulling it off. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the tournament, which hasn’t been too bad so far. I’m not sure if it’s worthy of the music video treatment though.
Opening sequence.
Big Show/A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio/Tajiri
Assuming this is going to see the small guys crushed up and sprinkled on the monsters’ pizza, beating the champions last week would be rather pointless. Mysterio slugs away at A-Train to start and gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A basement dropkick gives Rey a breather though and it’s off to Tajiri for a kick of his own. A-Train shoves them down but it’s a double dropkick to stagger him again. Big Show breaks up the 619 though and the order of the universe is restored.
Show launches Rey into the corner and it’s time for the slow motion beatdown. A pair of backbreakers has Rey in more trouble and A-Train follows up with the modified Gory Stretch. Rey gets in a tornado DDT for the breather though, setting up the hot tag to Tajiri. The handspring elbow barely connects but a springboard kick to the face gets two. Show casually throws Rey outside though, leaving A-Train to kick Tajiri in the head for the pin.
Rating: C. Questionable booking aside, this wasn’t a bad match with the smaller guys getting in some nice shots before going down. Big Show and A-Train are fine for a pair of heavies but they need something to do. Rey and Tajiri could be a perfectly fine tag team, though this isn’t the best way to help set them up.
Post match A-Train takes the mist and Rey 619s Big Show around the post. That’s REALLY not cool with Big Show. After the break, Show rants about being embarrassed so he wants to face Rey at Backlash.
Here’s Brock Lesnar for his first talk as champion. Interviewer Michael Cole goes over the shooting star and Lesnar says he was lucky to survive that. It took him five months to win the title back and he knew he had to do whatever it took. Kurt Angle is the first person to kick out of the F5 so Brock had to do something special. He had a concussion but there’s no doubt that he would do it all again. Brock talks about his respect for Angle but here’s Cena to cut him off. Where is the respect for Cena? Brock is just a white boy up in here lying to the fans.
Cena gets all fired up talking about how he’s bigger than Lesnar and the title, only to be cut off by Chris Benoit. Chris talks about how Cena has to show some respect because no one is bigger than the title. Brock calls Benoit out for not respecting him and they go nose to nose, only to have Cena demand respect from them both. Eventually Brock says they should all respect the winner of the tournament but Cena gets in a cheap shot on Benoit.
Mr. America is coming. Oh boy here we go.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble
Hang on as here’s Team Angle to mock Los Guerreros, who are now #1 contenders. So yeah, the Rey/Tajiri match means nothing at all. Charlie says Grandma Guerrero is the best housekeeper that money can buy, which is enough of a distraction for Noble to get in some cheap shots to start. A swinging neckbreaker gives Jamie two but an uppercut sets up Three Amigos. Eddie’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s Chavo taking care of Nidia so Eddie can frog splash Jamie for the pin.
Eddie and Chavo make gay jokes about Team Angle and win a quick brawl.
The French guys are coming. Tazz makes a joke about all the ethnic acts at the moment and he’s got a point.
Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio is official for Backlash.
We recap the FBI vs. Undertaker/Nathan Jones. They really think there’s something to the FBI? Really? Johnny gorilla pressing Rikishi should have gotten him something but that hasn’t been mentioned since.
Undertaker is going to be out a few weeks due to elbow surgery.
Earlier today, Jones nearly murdered Nunzio but settled for beating up the rest of the team instead.
Torrie is stretching when Sable comes in. She liked seeing Torrie get out of the shower last week but this time she needs help undoing her zipper. Sable unzips herself and takes her top down because she has nowhere to change. Torrie leaves though and Sable has to cover herself with her hands. Well at least they’re not hiding what they’re going for here, but we’ve covered this with Dawn Marie and it’s already been made clear that we’ve seen all we’re going to see. It doesn’t have the same effect twice in a four month stretch.
Long recap of the Hogan/Vince/Piper ordeal.
Rikishi vs. Sean O’Haire is confirmed for Backlash.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit and that could mean anything. Piper gives a rambling rant against fans on the internet, saying fans are coming out of the closet to beat people up but he likes it. We see the Snuka coconut thing from twenty years ago, followed by the same thing happening to Rikishi last week. Anyway, Piper has been looking for the modern wrestler with intelligence so here’s the champion of champions: Sean O’Haire.
Sean comes out and praises Piper, who might be even more evil than O’Haire is. Before Piper can say anything though, here’s Jimmy Snuka to send Piper through the roof. Piper sucks up to him but Jimmy says we have a problem here. Sean is ready to fight but Piper says he doesn’t need food or water because he’s self-contained.
Piper wants to bury the coconut, only to have Snuka hit him in the head. O’Haire gets involved as well but it’s Rikishi out for the save. A chair to the back drops Rikishi though and the bad guys bail. That’s enough for Rikishi to challenge Piper for next week while Snuka’s eyes are bulging as only his can. I like the idea of pushing O’Haire but this is getting very high on the list of most overbooked angles that are likely to collapse underneath their own weight.
Torrie did a Playboy signing in New York earlier this week. They’re pushing the heck out of that thing as only WWE can do.
Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia
Torrie’s gear has the Playboy logo prominently displayed. Hang on a minute though as here’s Sable to referee. Torrie and Sable stare at each other so Nidia can jump Torrie from behind. That goes nowhere so Nidia throws her into the corner, only to get caught in the headscissors solely designed for a certain angle of Torrie’s shorts. A high crossbody and basement dropkick give Torrie two but hang on as Sable has to dropkick Noble to the floor. Nidia gets caught in a tornado DDT for the fast pin.
Sable gives Torrie one of those looks.
Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Brian Kendrick
Matt, who really digs his book and whose favorite sushi is freshwater eel, is defending. Brian goes with a fast backslide to start and takes out Shannon Moore with a suicide dive for good measure. Back in and Matt throws him off the top though and Brian is in early trouble. Kendrick gets caught in a full nelson but he climbs the ropes and spins around to drive Matt’s head into the mat for a really cool counter. An enziguri gets two, followed by a to rope elbow for the same. Sliced Bread #2 is countered though and the Twist of Fate retains Matt’s title.
Rating: C+. Kendrick has been showing up almost everyone on this show week to week and this was no exception. It wasn’t a great match but for something that barely broke three minutes and saw Kendrick hitting some good looking stuff and barely stopping, it was quite the entertaining match. Now can we put him over someone other that Moore for a change?
The FBI is ready for revenge on Nathan Jones.
The APA went to Washington DC to visit soldiers.
Nathan Jones vs. Nunzio
Jones kicks him down and chokes a bit until the FBI comes in after less than a minute.
The Italians beat him down and crush the ankle with the steps to send Jones down to Louisville.
Mr. America is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.
#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit
Before the match, Cena says Benoit can rent the space beneath his teeth and calls him a Dynamite ripoff. Benoit takes him down to start and works on the arm for a bit. Cena is smart enough to shove the referee and nail a low blow. We hit the early chinlock for a bit before Cena reverses the first German suplex into a victory roll for a near fall. The threat of a Crossface sends Cena bailing to the floor so Benoit dives through the ropes to take him down again.
We take a break and come back with Benoit working on the arm again. Cena grabs the yet to be named Throwback for a quick two before we hit the neck crank (with their backs to the camera because they don’t know how to work). Benoit gets thrown hard into the corner but manages to suplex his way out of a chinlock.
Back up and Benoit elbows him in the face, only to get caught in something like a reverse Blue Thunder Bomb (Benoit landed at the side instead of between the legs for two. That just earns Cena the Crossface, though he’s too close to the ropes. Benoit slips out of the Death Valley Driver and tries a sunset flip but Cena drops down into a cradle for the clean pin.
Rating: B-. You have to give Cena the clean win here to make him look like a bigger threat against Lesnar, especially after the mess of the match against Undertaker last week. Benoit controlled it for the most part but Cena got in enough offense that it didn’t look like a fluke. That’s the value of someone like Benoit, who can make Cena look good but doesn’t really lose much in defeat. Good match too.
Overall Rating: C-. The main event is easily the best thing about the show but the big stories are major issues at this point. Cena vs. Lesnar is third on the show with the way overdone Piper’s Pit stuff (assuming you don’t count that as a separate story from Hogan vs. Vince) and Sable/Torrie above it. I can understand the World Title not being the biggest story on the show but sweet goodness it would be nice if one of the bigger stories was even slightly interesting.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Main Event – September 16, 2017: The Short Term Holding Pattern
Main Event Date: September 14, 2017 Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph
It’s been a busy week for WWE so let’s make sure we have one more show in there, just to fill in some space of course. Hopefully the matches are a bit more interesting this week, though last week’s show was one of the better ones they’ve done in a good while. Then again it’s not like there’s much continuity around here. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Rhyno vs. Dash Wilder
Feeling out process to start with Rhyno smacking him in the face a few times. Wilder charges into an elbow but is able to shove Rhyno off the top and down onto the floor in a heap. Back in and we hit a quickly broken chinlock, followed by Rhyno’s running shoulder in the corner. The Gore misses but Rhyno settles for a spinebuster and the pin at 5:45.
Rating: D+. Just a match here with Rhyno still being over for reasons I can’t quite pin down. Maybe it’s just how simple his character is and you know exactly what you’re going to get from his matches. It’s also nice to have Wilder at least making an appearance here or there while Dawson recovers.
From Raw.
Roman Reigns vs. Jason Jordan
Reigns won’t shake hands to start and John Cena is shown watching in the back. Feeling out process to start until Jordan charges into a right hand. The corner clotheslines are countered with the belly to belly and Jordan has a breather. One heck of a running clothesline lets Reigns hit the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered into the Crossface.
Back from a break with a headbutt dropping Jordan again, followed by a suplex to do the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another suplex (granted a different variety) sends Reigns flying. That great dropkick puts Reigns down again and it’s still another suplex for two more.
The running shoulder in the corner sets up some rolling northern lights suplexes for another near fall. We hit the Crossface but Reigns finally makes the rope (after nearly tapping on his face). Back up and Jordan’s shoulder goes into the post, setting up the Superman Punch. The spear is enough to put Jordan away at 15:18.
Rating: B. Jordan is getting better and the more time he spends away from Kurt Angle, the better this push seems to be going. He just doesn’t need the Angle connection and I’m glad that they’re doing something like this instead of having them be paired on screen. Reigns looked good here too and is starting to look a bit more comfortable in recent weeks.
Reigns shakes his hand post match. Post break here’s Cena to call out Reigns for almost losing. He’d like an explanation, but recommends that Reigns keep it at about one sentence in the form of a catchphrase. Roman says he was out here having a great match, which Cena can’t do. Reigns has had more great matches in the last two years than Cena has had in his career. Reigns: “What do you think about that?” Cena: “You can’t pin this one on me guys. Reigns is burying himself.”
Cena talks about how Reigns has never been put in check before but Cena is going to show him what real failure is. The way things are going, No Mercy is going to be a cake walk. Cena goes to leave but Reigns calls him back in and says he finds it interesting that Cena wanted to fight him. The reason Cena is back is because Reigns is selling the tickets that Cena hasn’t been able to sell in five years. It must be because he can’t break into Hollywood. Reigns: “If you need help, I know a guy.” Cena says No Mercy is going to be like a drug test: Reigns isn’t passing.
And again from Monday.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman knows that we’re coming up on a pay per view called No Mercy where Braun Strowman is going to have to do everything he can to take the title away from Brock. That’s interesting though because Braun is reminding Heyman of what Lesnar did in 2002, when he beat people like the Rock, Hulk Hogan, Rob Van Dam and the Undertaker. So is Strowman going to be ready to cross the line from sports entertainment into Suplex City?
Heyman doesn’t think so, but here’s Braun to interrupt. The fight is on and Brock grabs a German suplex (I believe the first time he’s ever done that to Strowman) but Braun no sells it, drawing a stunned look from Lesnar. That’s a great spot, though ignore the fact that Cena did something similar in 2014. Strowman lays him out with a chokeslam and the running powerslam as Heyman is terrified.
Mustafa Ali/Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik vs. Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Daivari and Dorado start things off and it’s a hurricanrana and springboard moonsault press for two on Ariya. Dar comes in and it’s time to start in on his arm, sending him outside for a break. Back with Daivari grabbing a chinlock on Metalik and shouting a lot. Dorado grabs the handspring Stunner and it’s off to Ali and Dar. Ali grabs his rolling neckbreaker as everything breaks down. The villains are sent outside and of course that means a triple flip dive with Ali barely grazing Nese. Back in and the 054 ends Daivari at 8:49.
Rating: C-. This was every six man tag you see out of the cruiserweights and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Dar has really fallen off the map since the Alicia Fox split and I can’t say I’m surprised. He never was anything great in the ring (not that he’s bad) but really, he’s just kind of there at this point.
Video on Big Show vs. Braun Strowman in the cage.
From Raw, one more time.
John Cena vs. Braun Strowman
Graves says Cena is trying to take Strowman out like Reigns could never do. So Cena is out to put him on the shelf for several months now as Reigns already pinned Strowman and put him out for weeks. Cena gets thrown out to the floor to start and then whipped hard into the corner for good measure. Strowman hits a dropkick of all things and the announcers are stunned.
Cena’s right hands have no effect but he gets the feet up in the corner. A fall away slam sends Cena flying and we take a break. Back with Strowman being sent outside but running Cena over again. They head back inside with Cena getting him up for the AA but falling forward from the weight.
The Shuffle is broken up just as easily with a spinebuster giving Strowman two. Cena manages an AA, only to have Braun roll out to the floor. A run around the ring is cut off with Strowman picking up the steps and bouncing them off Cena’s head. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason so Strowman throws the steps inside for a powerslam, which is enough for the DQ at 13:58.
Rating: C. This was a squash with a screwy ending as Cena makes someone else look like a killer. You know, because he hasn’t done it yet this month. Strowman looks like a monster and it was a heck of a performance. I’m actually believing he could win the title at No Mercy, only to lose it to Reigns before he beats Lesnar to retain at Wrestlemania.
Overall Rating: C-. Just a show here with nothing standing out. We’re kind of in a short term hold pattern at the moment as we get closer to No Mercy, meaning a lot of this stuff doesn’t mean a lot. Strowman vs. Cena being run on free TV with no build bothers me more each time I think about it but at least the ending was the right call. Not much of a show this week but that’s Main Event for you.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Is a Sensational McGregor v Cena Clash Really Wrestlemania Material?
When it comes to authorities on wrestling, few can be held in the same regard as Bill Goldberg. A wrestling colossus who once enjoyed a superlative unbeaten run in the ring, and dually reigned as US and World Champion, Goldberg recently stated that Brock Lesnar could easily be Conor McGregor’s next opponent. Yet, for some WWE fans, a booked ‘passing of the torch’ match with Lesnar would be an all-too-obvious way for McGregor to start his WWE career. Furthermore, it could easily descend into a UFC bout under the WWE brand. Some more creative thinking may ultimately be required, to ensure that any WWE future McGregor may have is a thorough success.
Classical ‘gangster’ persona has potential to entertain
With Brock Lesnar also apparently set to leave the WWE, there is most certainly a potential vacancy for someone who can revive the ‘MMA powerhouse’ gimmick. In previous years several WWE wrestlers, such as ‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase and Shane McMahon, have also been notable in their success for using money as the main element of their persona. With MMA fighters now earning exceptionally large purses, McGregor’s naturally exuberant personality could combine the two gimmicks effectively. Recently, McGregor has been named by Forbes as one of the top 25 highest earning athletes in the world, as he made $27 million from his UFC fights alone in 2017. As noted on this Betway blog post, McGregor already enjoys promoting himself on social media as a fashionable man with money to burn. In that respect, McGregor already has a head start if he is open to being a ‘heel’ or, at least, an antihero with distinct overtones of old-style gangster lifestyle. With McGregor being as marketable as he is, only an immediate feud with a WWE main carder can do his presence any justice. With all of this taken into account, John Cena is perhaps the ideal feuding opponent for McGregor. Identified by Bleacher Report as a man destined to remain a ‘babyface’ forever, he is the most obvious candidate to be the yin to McGregor’s yang.
McGregor’s WWE success reliant on well-scripted initial feud
Cena has always been the federation’s all-rounder. Though he started off as a more modern-style street gangster, Cena evolved into a USMC-style character (which was aided by the film MarineMarine), and this took his popularity to new highs. As such, pitting him against McGregor, who would no doubt be perceived as a usurper of the status quo, would represent a huge gamble for the WWE. If McGregor was booked to beat the now-aging Cena, it could see PPV ratings either explode or implode – there would be no in-between. Twenty years ago, as the WWE lost week on week to the WCW in the ratings war, Vince McMahon took a similar gamble, in allowing Stone Cold Steve Austin to beat Jake Roberts at King of the Ring in 1996. In a famous twist, as recorded by Cagematch, the brash Steve Austin beat a Jake Roberts recovering from a difficult time and on the road to a fairytale redemption, but it was a gamble that paid dividends. Subsequently, ‘Austin 3:16’ became a household brand, and the emergence of the ‘Rattlesnake’ coincided with a seismic shift in the ratings, which would ultimately end in the WCW’s extinction and the WWE’s supremacy.
This promo is seen my many WWE aficionados as the moment the franchise was saved.
Reigns feud a safe alternative
If the federation goes all out to market McGregor, but does not wish to make such a significant gamble, then alternative high-profile feud rivals for McGregor would include Roman Reigns and AJ Styles. While the latter is a similar all-American face in the mould of John Cena, and is considered by many to be the best wrestler in the entire roster, a scripted feud between McGregor and Reigns would almost certainly represent a safe option for the federation. Reigns has now featured exclusively on several PPV posters, and is arguably the entire brand’s number one representative. However, his entrances are often met with hostility from large sections of the crowd, even though he is not currently a heel. If McGregor was to successfully challenge Reigns for WWE supremacy, the worldwide audience that the franchise currently enjoys could be further expanded upon to great effect. Today, the WWE has no corporate rivals as it did two decades ago, and thus has no cause to be daring enough to try another ‘Austin 3:16’ stunt again. However, the shelf lives of wrestlers such as Cena and Styles could soon wear thin, once more paving the way for a brusque antihero to add the extra spice that once made the WWE an unstoppable force in sports entertainment. In that respect, Conor McGregor may want to heed the words of Goldberg – and sooner, rather than later.
Monday Night Raw – September 11, 2017: Punt Formation
Monday Night Raw Date: September 11, 2017 Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California Commentators: Booker T., Corey Graves, Michael Cole
As is the case so often anymore around WWE (and thank goodness for that), we have some big matches announced coming in. This time around that would be Braun Strowman vs. John Cena, which had better end in some kind of a screwy finish. I mean, WWE wouldn’t possibly be stupid enough to do something else right? Let get to it.
As you might expect, we open with a moment of silence for the sixteenth anniversary of September 11. We also have a text crawl on the screen, talking about the importance of freedom.
Opening sequence.
Roman Reigns vs. Jason Jordan
Reigns won’t shake hands to start and John Cena is shown watching in the back. Feeling out process to start until Jordan charges into a right hand. The corner clotheslines are countered with the belly to belly and Jordan has a breather. One heck of a running clothesline lets Reigns hit the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered into the Crossface.
Back from a break with a headbutt dropping Jordan again, followed by a suplex to do the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another suplex (granted a different variety) sends Reigns flying. That great dropkick puts Reigns down again and it’s still another suplex for two more.
The running shoulder in the corner sets up some rolling northern lights suplexes for another near fall. We hit the Crossface but Reigns finally makes the rope (after nearly tapping on his face). Back up and Jordan’s shoulder goes into the post, setting up the Superman Punch. The spear is enough to put Jordan away at 15:18.
Rating: B. Jordan is getting better and the more time he spends away from Kurt Angle, the better this push seems to be going. He just doesn’t need the Angle connection and I’m glad that they’re doing something like this instead of having them be paired on screen. Reigns looked good here too and is starting to look a bit more comfortable in recent weeks.
Reigns shakes his hand post match. Post break here’s Cena to call out Reigns for almost losing. He’d like an explanation, but recommends that Reigns keep it at about one sentence in the form of a catchphrase. Roman says he was out here having a great match, which Cena can’t do. Reigns has had more great matches in the last two years than Cena has had in his career. Reigns: “What do you think about that?” Cena: “You can’t pin this one on me guys. Reigns is burying himself.”
Cena talks about how Reigns has never been put in check before but Cena is going to show him what real failure is. The way things are going, No Mercy is going to be a cake walk. Cena goes to leave but Reigns calls him back in and says he finds it interesting that Cena wanted to fight him. The reason Cena is back is because Reigns is selling the tickets that Cena hasn’t been able to sell in five years. It must be because he can’t break into Hollywood. Reigns: “If you need help, I know a guy.” Cena says No Mercy is going to be like a drug test: Reigns isn’t passing.
Sasha Banks vs. Emma
Alexa Bliss is on commentary as Emma gets an early two off a sunset flip. Sasha gets the same off a backslide but gets blasted with a hard clothesline. Cue Nia Jax to join commentary as we take a break. Back with Emma getting taken down by a headscissors but hiptossing Banks into the corner. The five person commentary booth (geez) laughs off the idea of Emma winning the title because of all the hashtags. Banks has had enough of this and grabs the Bank Statement for the tap at 7:21.
Rating: D. You know, if you actually have Emma win something, even via a fluke, some people might buy her as something more than the person in the match to take the fall. Then again, that might suggest that there are more than three people worth pushing in the entire division and that’s just unacceptable for whatever reason.
Video on Strowman vs. Big Show from last week.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman knows that we’re coming up on a pay per view called No Mercy where Braun Strowman is going to have to do everything he can to take the title away from Brock. That’s interesting though because Braun is reminding Heyman of what Lesnar did in 2002, when he beat people like the Rock, Hulk Hogan, Rob Van Dam and the Undertaker. So is Strowman going to be ready to cross the line from sports entertainment into Suplex City?
Heyman doesn’t think so, but here’s Braun to interrupt. The fight is on and Brock grabs a German suplex (I believe the first time he’s ever done that to Strowman) but Braun no sells it, drawing a stunned look from Lesnar. That’s a great spot, though ignore the fact that Cena did something similar in 2014. Strowman lays him out with a chokeslam and the running powerslam as Heyman is terrified.
The announcers talk about the recent hurricanes and how you can help. Nothing wrong with that.
Goldust vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray comes up on screen to say that Goldust hides behind his paint but now he needs to run. Goldust slugs away to start and sends Bray outside for a freaking flip dive off the apron (YOU’RE TOO OLD FOR THAT DUSTIN!). Back in and Bray runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 2:08.
Post match Bray wipes the paint off of Goldust’s face, shouting that he’s just a man. Finn Balor comes in for the save.
Sheamus and Cesaro are ready to face Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins because as soon as adversity hits them, they’re going to break up again. They are the bar, and that is still a stupid catchphrase.
Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows
Rollins and Ambrose are on commentary. Actually hang on as the champs start brawling with both teams. No match.
Post break Rollins and Ambrose say they want both of those teams tonight. Angle says find partners and the DELETE chants are already starting.
Asuka is coming soon.
Nia Jax doesn’t seem pleased when Bliss comes up to say she doesn’t like it either. She wants Jax to be best friends again so they can have a classic together. Jax says she’ll think about it but that match is already made for next week. Bliss looks stunned.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Yes again. Elias sings about how Anaheim sucks and makes fun of the Mighty Ducks. Kalisto speeds things up to start but gets his shoulder wrenched, followed by a clothesline for two. We hit the armbar for a bit until Kalisto fights up for a tornado DDT. Kalisto misses a double knee shot off the top though and gets powerbombed in half. Drift Away is enough to give Elias the pin at 4:29.
Rating: D. NOW NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN! These two have fought probably five times in the last month or so (including a match on Main Event) and none of them have been anything interesting. Elias is in a weird place as it feels like they want to push him but they won’t actually do much with him. They’re keep him warm though and that’s better than leaving him off TV.
John Cena vs. Braun Strowman
Graves says Cena is trying to take Strowman out like Reigns could never do. So Cena is out to put him on the shelf for several months now as Reigns already pinned Strowman and put him out for weeks. Cena gets thrown out to the floor to start and then whipped hard into the corner for good measure. Strowman hits a dropkick of all things and the announcers are stunned.
Cena’s right hands have no effect but he gets the feet up in the corner. A fall away slam sends Cena flying and we take a break. Back with Strowman being sent outside but running Cena over again. They head back inside with Cena getting him up for the AA but falling forward from the weight.
The Shuffle is broken up just as easily with a spinebuster giving Strowman two. Cena manages an AA, only to have Braun roll out to the floor. A run around the ring is cut off with Strowman picking up the steps and bouncing them off Cena’s head. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason so Strowman throws the steps inside for a powerslam, which is enough for the DQ at 13:58.
Rating: C. This was a squash with a screwy ending as Cena makes someone else look like a killer. You know, because he hasn’t done it yet this month. Strowman looks like a monster and it was a heck of a performance. I’m actually believing he could win the title at No Mercy, only to lose it to Reigns before he beats Lesnar to retain at Wrestlemania.
Rollins and Ambrose are looking for partners and run into Dean Malenko and Jamie Noble. Dean says they’re not dressed for it but the Hardys are. We have an eight man tag.
It’s time for MizTV and Miz and Maryse have a major announcement: Maryse is pregnant! Miz is so happy and the fans actually seem to be happy for him. He rips on the fans of course and has a speech but here’s Enzo Amore to interrupt. Miz goes on another heck of a rant, talking about how Enzo and Big Cass were supposed to be the big deal around here and even wrestled with John Cena on a pay per view.
Now Enzo is getting kicked off a tour bus and has to cheat to win. Miz was treated like Enzo to start and then reinvented himself to turn into a star who has been here for over ten years. Now Enzo thinks he can beat Neville? The cruiserweights are some of the most athletically gifted stars in the world and do things off the top rope that brings the WWE Universe to their feet. When Enzo goes to the top, he falls on his face. They work every day to get better while all Enzo cares about is hanging out with third rate rappers.
Enzo says Miz is just a copy of Chris Jericho and Ric Flair while he’s an original. He’s going to No Mercy to become Cruiserweight Champion and then he’ll come back to Raw and beat the paper Intercontinental Champion. That’s enough for Miz, who is willing to fight right now. He even dedicates the match to his unborn child but Enzo calls him S-A-W-F-T anyway. Enzo was picked apart here but his retort was good.
Miz vs. Enzo Amore
Non-title. Enzo runs out to the floor to start and says Miz’s wrestling abilities are heading straight to DVD. Miz chases him outside and rams Enzo’s head into the mat over and over again. Miz: “Hey Enzo. How you doin?” Back in and Miz brags a bit more, earning himself a crotching on the top. Miz hammers away again so Enzo asks if Miz is really the father. That’s enough for Miz, who beats on Enzo until the Miztourage joins in for the DQ at 3:07.
Rating: D. So uh, was there a point to this? Enzo gets ripped in half, runs his mouth some more, and then gets the fire beaten out of him in the match and post match. Miz continues to look like a star and as usual I’d love to see him move up the ranks after he finally drops the title.
Enzo gets destroyed even more post match.
Post break, Neville laughs at Enzo, who can barely move.
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows
It’s a brawl to start (well duh) until the Hardys work on Cesaro’s arm. That goes nowhere as it’s off to Sheamus, who gets sent outside along with Cesaro. Back with Gallows kicking Ambrose out to the floor as the heat segment begins. A double clothesline from Cesaro and Sheamus gets two and it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro. Dean gets him down with a backslide, only to get caught with the assisted White Noise for two.
Matt comes in for the save and gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Dean’s swinging neckbreaker doesn’t get him anywhere as he has to fight out of the Magic Killer. The rebound lariat drops Gallows but Sheamus cuts him off again. A backdrop is finally enough for the hot tag to Seth as things speed up. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Twist of Fate to Anderson and Gallows. Sheamus and Cesaro walk away though, leaving Anderson to take the windup knee and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:02.
Rating: C-. In other words, Monday Night Football just kicked off (doubleheader on opening weekend) so there’s no point in really trying to do anything interesting. Cesaro and Sheamus walking out is the right idea and it lets the champs look good. The problem continues to be that we’ve seen these teams for a long time now and none of them are very interesting. The matches are fine but the build to get there feels like nothing special whatsoever.
Overall Rating: C+. Good show here, completely worthless main event aside. As usual, this was a great example of why Raw only needs to be two hours as the show could have been outstanding with less time to fill but that’s what you have to expect around here. It was more than watchable though and I’m interested in where No Mercy is going to go. Hopefully things pick up a bit next week with only one Monday Night Football game to deal with, though I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Jason Jordan – Spear
Sasha Banks b. Emma – Bank Statement
Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
John Cena b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the steps
Enzo Amore b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Anderson and Gallows – Dirty Deeds to Anderson
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: April 10, 2003 Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s tournament time and that means some bigger matches tonight. The tournament seems to be John Cena’s to win, especially with the FBI around to mess with Undertaker. Why he’s stuck with the FBI isn’t clear, but it’s also not clear why Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon is continuing. Let’s get to it.
Brock Lesnar arrived earlier today and greeted some fans, two of whom are none other than Mr. Kennedy and CM Punk. Kennedy’s mugging for the camera is amusing.
Opening sequence.
Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy
Non-title, meaning Matt, whose book is a New York Times best seller (of course) and is currently the longest reigning singles champion on Smackdown, can’t leave as a double champion. Matt lays the Cruiserweight Title in front of Brock, who casually kicks it away and lays his title in front of him instead.
Matt goes to pick it up so Brock steps on it and takes Matt’s head off with a clothesline. The very brave Shannon offers a distraction so Matt can get in a belt shot for a fast two. We hit the stomping for a bit before Brock backdrops him to the apron with Matt’s face smacking off the bar that connects the turnbuckle to the post.
It doesn’t seem to change much as Matt snaps the back of Brock’s neck across the ropes, only to get dropped with a scary looking electric chair. Brock makes the clothesline comeback and tosses Matt with an overhead belly to belly. Shannon has to eat a shot to the head as well, leaving Matt to take the F5 for the pin.
Rating: C. Matt was game here but there was only so much he could do in a match like this. If nothing else it gave us more of Shannon’s impressive selling as he looks like he’s getting killed every single time. Brock gets a nice win as he’s back in the ring and it’s not like the Cruiserweight Champion losing to Brock is going to really hurt him.
Roddy Piper talks about the Frankie Williams interview on Piper’s Pit where he beat the heck out of a jobber and dropped the “just when they think they’ve got all the answers, I change the questions” line.
We look back at Hogan and Vince’s segment last week with Vince sending Hogan home to get rid of him and Hulkamania for good. Is this really the best thing they can do with their TV time? I get the idea of nostalgia but wouldn’t that be more like Hogan beating up A-Train in a five minute match? This is more trying to make Hogan into Austin, which is the biggest stretch you could have.
Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Brian Kendrick/Torrie Wilson
Sable is at ringside with Torrie’s Playboy. Noble jumps Kendrick from behind but gets sent into Nidia’s raised boot by mistake. Kendrick’s tornado DDT is countered with a northern lights suplex, sending Kendrick back first into the turnbuckle in a good looking bump. We hit the chinlock as the fans cheer for Torrie. It’s off to a reverse cravate before Sliced Bread #2 is countered with a neckbreaker. Nidia misses a Rocket Launcher though and Torrie gets the hot tag. Torrie’s neckbreaker gets two and everything breaks down. Nidia’s high crossbody hits Jamie and it’s a tornado (more like a stiff breeze) DDT to put Nidia away.
Rating: C. Not a bad match actually with the guys doing most of the work until Torrie got to do her thing at the end. As long as they keep her matches short, everything should be fine. There’s no secret about why she’s out there and she’s actually passable in the ring at times. This could have been a lot worse so I’ll take what I can get.
Sable is rather pleased.
Chris Benoit and Rhyno both want to face Brock at Backlash. Brock is cool with facing either of them.
#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
An early test of strength goes to Rhyno (duh) and he twists the arms around into a cross arm choke. Benoit spins out without much effort and starts in on the arm, only to get suplexed down for two. It’s time for the hard chops which actually bring Rhyno down to his knees. A knee to the ribs has Rhyno in more trouble but he avoids a dropkick.
Rhyno grabs a bodyscissors of all things until Benoit comes back with more chops. The Gore only hits the turnbuckle but a spinebuster gets two. A hard elbow to the jaw sets up the Swan Dive for two but Chris can’t get the Crossface. What he can get though is a backslide for the pin and a spot in the finals.
Rating: B-. They beat each other up here and that made for an entertaining match. Rhyno is someone who is capable of having a better match than most people would give him credit for and that’s what happened here. The ending was a nice touch too with Benoit catching Rhyno instead of flat out beating him, which should do some good for the sake of keeping their team together.
They shake hands post match.
Torrie is in the shower when Sable comes in. Sable praises her Playboy and steals the towel so Torrie has to come and get it.
Piper talks about cracking Jimmy Snuka in the head with a coconut.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit but Vince is in the ring instead. He talks about Hogan being sent home to rot so that when he’s allowed to be back, he’ll need a bag underneath him to collect his bodily waste. That brings Vince to another of his creations that he’d like to pull off the shelf: Roddy Piper. Cue Piper to interview his guest, which is of course Vince.
After mocking Vince for having small fingers, Piper says no one created him but himself. Vince mocks Piper’s ample gut, including saying that he looks like he went to heck in a breadbasket. We get an offer for Piper to join Vince’s club but Piper rips on Vince’s business failures, including the WBF and the XFL. Vince’s eyes bugging out for a few seconds is a nice touch.
Anyway, the only job Vince can hold is the one his daddy gave him. Vince gets up and talks about their dislike of Hogan, though of course they still hate each other. Piper takes off the jacket (Vince: “From one son of a b**** to another.”) and they shake over their mutual hatred of Hogan. Vince goes to leave until Piper congratulates him on doing something Piper never did: lose 1-2-3 to Hogan. Save for SuperBrawl VII of course but you can’t ask Piper to remember things like history.
Vince is mad but here’s Rikishi of all people, carrying a coconut. Rikishi remembers what Piper did to Snuka all those years ago and it’s time for revenge. Cue Sean O’Haire of all people to drop Rikishi with a clothesline and hit him with the wooden chair. Piper busts the coconut over Rikishi’s head as this is one of the most ridiculous segments I’ve seen in a long time.
I’m assuming they’re going for the old school fans here but going for the over 40 audience isn’t the best idea in the world. Adding O’Haire in helps, but the coconut stuff and Rikishi, plus the eventual return of Hogan to take all of the spotlight isn’t going to do anyone any favors. Cut out some of the nonsense and there’s something there, though there’s a lot to get through to get to it.
Les Nouvelles (La Resistance) are coming.
Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio/Tajiri
Non-title and Team Angle dedicates this to Kurt, who is undergoing neck surgery tomorrow. Haas armbars Tajiri down to start, only to get caught in the Tarantula with Mysterio adding a running dropkick for an early two. Shelton comes in to take a dropkick as well but a Haas distraction lets Benjamin get in a superkick to take over. A double gutbuster sets up an abdominal stretch for a bit before Rey is taken into the corner.
An electric chair is countered into something like a bulldog and it’s off to Tajiri. The handspring forearm (instead of an elbow this time) gets two on Haas as everything breaks down again. Some kind of a powerbomb double team is countered into a hurricanrana to put Charlie down. The 619 into the springboard legdrop gives Rey the pin.
Rating: C+. Just like the Rhyno vs. Benoit match, this would have been better with some more time but it was fun while it lasted. That being said, I really could go with the champs being a bit more successful. I’m sure this is going to set up a title match either here or at Backlash but isn’t there a better way than having them lose clean in less than five minutes?
Undertaker is ready to win because he’s got more shower time than John Cena has ring time. Tonight he’s going to beat Cena up to shut him up then bust him up.
Bill DeMott vs. Nathan Jones
This is Jones’ in-ring debut. DeMott grabs a hammerlock so Nathan punches in the in the face. A toss sends Bill outside as Nathan seems lost out there less than a minute in. Back in and Nathan kicks him in the face for the pin. Jones didn’t even do four offensive moves in the 80 second match.
The FBI talks about Italian food and claims that they’ve had thousands of dollars and a laptop stolen from their bags. They’re asked who might have done it.
Post break Nathan is questioned about the robbery when Undertaker comes up to say this is nonsense. Jones has to leave anyway.
#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: John Cena vs. Undertaker
Cena says Deadman Inc. is bankrupt and he’s repossessing the yard. If Undertaker is a deadman, Cena is a necrophiliac. I really didn’t need to know that and we’ll move on. Undertaker sends him into the corner to start but stops to glare at the referee. Some big right hands have Cena in trouble and Undertaker asks if he wants to keep talking. A chokeslam gets a delayed two with Cena’s foot on the rope.
Back from a break with Undertaker still in complete control and driving in some elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop to Cena’s back but a right hand with the chain gives Cena an opening. A shoulder knocks Undertaker off the apron and gets in a shot on the bad elbow. Undertaker has a bad elbow? Good to know guys.
Cena stomps the arm into the steps but Undertaker hits a shoulder with the bad arm for no apparent reason. Old School looks to set up the Last Ride but Cena reverses into a DDT on the arm for a near fall. We hit the armbar for a bit until Undertaker punches him down without much effort. Snake Eyes into the big boot but the ref gets bumped. Just get the Italians out here already.
Cena grabs a spinebuster, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Cue the FBI for the attack with Palumbo getting in a chair shot to the head. Cole: “Flashbulb just went off! Nathan Jones has been taken out of the building!” Sweet goodness I’m surprised he got it that fast. Cena crawls over for the cover and the pin because Heaven forbid he gets the pin with his finisher.
Rating: D. Until that chain shot, Undertaker was beating Cena like the rookie that he was. It’s good that Cena won, though it would have been nice to have Undertaker not treat him like the biggest waste of his time he could find. I have no idea why the FBI is getting this spot either, but it was ALL about Undertaker here and that defeats the purpose of giving someone like Cena the win here.
Overall Rating: C-. It’s a good enough show but there’s a lot of bad stuff throughout the show taking it back down. The big story is really holding down the rest of the show as it’s just not interesting. Much like the main event, I like the idea of putting over a young guy but they’re making sure to pile on as much stuff as they can to keep it from accomplishing its goal. The wrestling on here, with the little time that it got, worked well, though it’s almost completely forgotten for the sake of the big stories. That’s fine in theory but it would help a lot if the big stories were a lot less horrible.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: March 27, 2003 Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the final show for Wrestlemania and also my dad’s fiftieth birthday. Everything is pretty much set so there’s a good chance this is going to be little more than a slow paced final push towards the show. Hopefully it’s better than Raw, which really shouldn’t be all that difficult of a task. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Rey Mysterio/Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore
Kendrick now has theme music, but it’s not as catch as Matt’s, whose Mattitude will make Wrestlemania a success and is very humble. Shannon starts with Brian and gets two off an early snap suplex. A hurricanrana puts Shannon down though and it’s off to Rey to speed things up. Some raised boots in the corner slow Rey down but Rey dropkicks Matt for two.
It’s back to Kendrick but he’s quickly pulled into the wrong corner to start the double teaming. Shannon’s belly to back gets two and Matt gets the same off a wicked Splash Mountain Bomb out of the corner. Brian slips over for the hot tag and it’s off to Rey for the bulldog and springboard seated legdrop for two on Matt. A tornado DDT gives Kendrick the same and he drops Shannon with Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the Twist of Fate for the pin.
Rating: B-. Heck of an opener here with all four getting to show off a bit. I’m glad they didn’t have the fall between Mysterio and Hardy for a change and it’s not like pinning Kendrick is a big stretch. If nothing else it’s nice to see a match with some energy in the week before Wrestlemania as they were certainly absent from Raw.
Post match Rey hurricanranas Moore but walks into a Twist of Fate.
Hulk Hogan arrives with his son and Jimmy Hart.
Roddy Piper is interested in Hogan vs. McMahon.
Video of last week’s contract signing.
Here’s Hogan for hopefully (and not likely) the last big push towards the match. Hogan talks about having a business relationship with Vince for over twenty years but he never really knew the man. He’s seen Vince do some horrible, evil and often illegal things but he never knew how twisted Vince really was. If Vince is a genius, he’s an evil genius (no brother so you know he’s serious). He recaps the No Way Out ordeal and it made him so mad that he agreed to make Sunday’s match a street fight.
This won’t be his last time on Smackdown because Sunday is going to be a fight twenty years in the making. You’ll see a Hogan you haven’t seen in twenty years because you’ll have to see it. Hogan promises to leave Vince in a pool of his own blood to wrap it up. It’s a good promo, but we’re still talking about two guys who aren’t wrestlers at this point fighting over which of them is responsible for them both being multi-millionaires. That’s at worst the second biggest match on the show and it’s pretty hard to get behind that idea.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas
They trade leg trips to start and get two each as the fans are very behind Eddie early on. Eddie shoulders him down but seems to bang up his own shoulder. Charlie grabs a hammerlock and drops him arm first onto the rope to take over. A clothesline gets two and Charlie cranks on the arm even more. Eddie suplexes his way out of an armbar but lands on the shoulder again. A hammerlock northern lights suplex gets two but another suplex is countered into a rollup for the fast pin.
Rating: C+. The arm stuff was a good idea here but the time hurt them a bit. Eddie and Chavo are starting to get over as faces due to pure in-ring ability and charisma, plus the whole not fighting the FBI anymore. Haas and Benjamin continue to lose, which almost guarantees that they retain on Sunday.
John Cena promises to teach Brock Lesnar a lesson like he’s Mr. Miyagi.
Video on the FBI, which is actually really well produced. Like, more so than their usual great production.
Lesnar isn’t worried about Cena.
Nathan Jones has beaten up Chuck Palumbo off camera instead of having a match. So five minutes ago we get a good video on the team and now one of them is left laying off camera. Well done WWE.
Vince training montage with Shane as his coach. Can he still catch a chicken though? This is missing from the Network version for no apparent reason.
Nidia and Jamie Noble are in the back when they see Torrie Wilson’s Playboy cover. Jamie can’t bring himself to say that Nidia is prettier.
Wrestlemania Moment: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.
Video on Torrie’s Playboy press conference with Stephanie introducing her for whatever reason. Torrie has the best body she’s ever seen, which is the endorsement that Playboy has been looking for.
Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia
Nidia jumps her from behind and grabs a chair as this is already more physical than I was expecting. A baseball slide sends the chair into Nidia’s face for two and Tazz starts singing. The fans want puppies but settle for Torrie hitting a DDT for the pin.
Big Show and A-Train run into Nathan Jones and make fun of his prison sentence.
Sean O’Haire tells us to eat whatever you want.
Big Show/A-Train vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno
Cole thinks Heyman had something to do with this for the sake of softening up Rhyno and Benoit for Sunday. For once, that’s almost insightful. A-Train muscles Rhyno into the corner for a rare visual but gets stomped back for a nice reaction. Benoit comes in for some hard chops but one heck of a shoulder drops him hard.
It’s off to Show and Benoit gets tossed hard into the corner, only to come out with some chops. Show clotheslines him down and the beating begins. There’s the required big toss across the ring, which still looks cool every single time. A big headbutt sends Benoit into the corner and it’s off to A-Train for some stomping.
Something like a Gory Stretch has Benoit screaming but a Vader Bomb hits boots. Benoit finally gets in a German suplex and makes the hot tag to Rhyno, who has no issues running through the monsters. Everything breaks down but here’s Jones to go after Show for the lame but logical DQ.
Rating: C. This was actually going somewhere until the ending, which was the only option they had here. Rhyno continues to impress and I’m starting to appreciate his rather simple but effective style. Everyone was game here and it made for a better match than I was expecting, which isn’t that hard for a Big Show/A-Train match.
Undertaker comes in and helps clear the ring.
Kurt Angle is looking for Brock. Post break he’s in Lesnar’s locker room and says they’re a lot alike. The difference is that Brock is a 25 year old rookie and he’s not ready. This match is going to change wrestling forever because they’re the best in the business. If Angle gets destroyed on Sunday, he’s done enough already. He’s bringing everything on Sunday and is willing to end Lesnar’s career to win.
Lesnar doesn’t think this is as brave as Angle hopes it is because Kurt knows he’s safe until Wrestlemania. Brock is willing to lay it all on the line on Sunday. At Wrestlemania, here comes the pain, because Lesnar will do anything to win the title. Good stuff here, and I liked it not being in the ring for a change.
Wrestlemania card, with the Raw Tag Team Title match being moved to Sunday Night Heat.
Another Vince training video.
Gene Okerlund is ready for Hogan vs. McMahon and says they were both responsible for the boom.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin
Some amateur stuff goes nowhere so Chavo speeds it up with a headscissors and a dropkick for two. Shelton goes after the leg though and Chavo is in quick trouble. Benjamin grabs a leg lock but Chavo is next to the rope for a break. Shelton puts on a different hold (always appreciated) but Chavo reverses into a small package for two. It’s off to the third hold until a cradle gives Guerrero two more. An enziguri finally gets Chavo a breather and both guys are down. Eddie cuts off Charlie’s interference attempt, leaving Chavo to grab la majistral for the pin.
Rating: C. Oh yeah Team Angle is winning and they’re not even trying to hide it at this point. Chavo looked good here, which isn’t the biggest surprise despite his abilities often being overlooked. This was basically the same formula from earlier but with a different limb, which makes it no surprise that it worked.
Post match Team Angle attacks, only to have Rhyno and Benoit make the save and clean house.
Rikishi vs. John Cena
Cena debuts Basic Thuganomics as his theme music. He jumps Rikishi during his entrance and hammers away until a single right hand puts him on the floor. Rikishi gets whipped into the steps though and Cena pulls off the barricade padding to ram him back first. Back in and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things as things slow way down. Rikishi fights up and hits the Samoan drop. A superkick sets up the corner splash and Stinkface but the Rump Shaker hits knees. The ref bump allows Cena to hit the chain shot for two, followed by I believe the debuting FU (much closer to a Death Valley Driver here) for the pin.
Rating: D+. It’s kind of fascinating to see so much of what defined Cena debuting in one match as he had the music, the finisher and most of the signature look all at once. It made him look like a star instead of the goof that he was for months leading up to this. They almost have to do Lesnar vs. Cena now and that’s not the worst idea in the world.
Cena calls out Lesnar and after a break (with Arnold Schwarzenegger hyping Vince vs. Hogan) gets his wish, only to have Angle jump Lesnar from behind with a 2×4. Lesnar is down and in pain to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This was a back and forth show with good action (FAR better than Raw) but at the same time there was so much Vince vs. Hogan stuff that it took away the limited interest I had in the match in the first place. I’m still not wild on Wrestlemania but this show did help a lot as they focused on a lot of stuff. Unfortunately one match got so much of the hype and it’s really not one of the best things on the card. It’s all going to be about the presentation and in-ring results on Sunday but they’ve got their work cut out.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Main Event – August 24, 2017: You Never Get Used To This
Main Event Date: August 24, 2017 Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves
I just can’t get away from the Barclays Center. If my math is right, this is the seventh show WWE taped from the venue in four days and hopefully that means they’ll be all beach balled out. Odds are this is going to be a run of the mill show though as it’s not like these things are really any different no matter where they are. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins
Slater sucks up with the Brooklyn 3:16 shirt. Hawkins does the FACE THE FACTS pose so Slater does a bit of a striptease to take the shirt off. A side kick gives Slater two and it’s off to the armbar. Hawkins knees him to the back to send Slater into the corner and that means it’s time for more posing. We hit the chinlock for as long as a chinlock is going to go before frustration starts to set in. A knee drop gets two and we hit the second chinlock. Heath fights up but gets tripped straight down, only to small package Hawkins for the pin at 4:36.
Rating: C-. This was actually better than you would expect with Hawkins playing a heel who was ahead but got too caught up in bragging to finish the job. Slater hung in there until he had an opening to capitalize on and won as a results. It might not be in depth but it’s a story, which is a lot more than you would expect most of the time for Main Event.
Off to Raw.
Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman says this isn’t a tape delay because we’re live with Brock Lesnar still your reigning and defending Universal Champion. He talks about the conspiracy against Lesnar, who fought off everyone else last night to keep his title. For the first time in his life, Lesnar was taken off the battlefield in an attempt to get rid of him without having to pin him or make him submit. But Lesnar wouldn’t have any of that and marched back down the aisle so conquering could ensue. As for tonight, there is no one in WWE or UFC history, like Lesnar himself.
Cue Braun Strowman and you can see Lesnar wince a bit. The fans cheer for Strowman as Brock gets in his face. A chokeslam is countered but Braun kicks him in the face and hits a powerslam to put Lesnar down. He starts to get up so it’s another powerslam, leaving Strowman to hold up the title.
And then again.
Here’s Sasha Banks for her first comments after winning the title. She may be from Boston but she’s always left her heart right here in Brooklyn. Like when she and Charlotte tore the house down last year at Summerslam, which allows her to wish Ric Flair well. Sasha plans on defending the title the right way but here’s Alexa Bliss to interrupt. She laughs off the idea of Sasha being the right kind of champion but wants nothing to do with a rematch tonight in front of these Brooklyn fanboys. They’ll fight soon enough but for now, Bliss is fine making Sasha wait.
Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick
Brian takes him to the mat to start but Dorado flips up without too much effort. A quick trip to the floor earns Kendrick a hurricanrana and we take a break. Back with Kendrick getting two off a big boot and slowing things down with a cravate. Like WAY down as the hold stays on longer than it needs to.
A belly to back superplex is reversed into a crossbody to drop Kendrick and Dorado has a breather. There’s a spinwheel kick into a hurricanrana for two, followed by the springboard Stunner for the same. The shooting star hits knees though and Kendrick grabs the Captain’s Hook for the tap out at 11:19.
Rating: C. Another match that was better than I was expecting though again that’s not covering a lot of ground. Dorado is fine for a low level face and Kendrick has completely exceeded expectations in his run with the company. I’m still not sure how good of a finisher the glorified chinlock was but he’s making it work to a certain degree.
We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.
Miz/Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns/John Cena
Cena bulldogs Miz to start and the fans are very pleased as it’s already off to Joe. The fans go nuts over something and Cena actually pauses to look at it…..because it’s a freaking beach ball. It seems that the ball is taken away with Cena looking annoyed, earning himself a beating from Joe. Miz comes in to stomp away and it’s time for the wave again. Now Cena joins in the wave, earning himself a quick DDT for two.
The cheering and booing continues as a beach ball is put into play and confiscated as the match continues to be ignored. Cena gets ax handled for two as Miz stops to tell the fans to pay attention. Miz misses a charge and it’s off to Reigns to clean house with clotheslines to no reaction. Roman gets taken down as well for the YES Kicks. The last one is countered into a powerbomb though and both guys are down again.
Joe Rock Bottoms Roman but Reigns heads outside to beat up the Miztourage. Back in and the hot tag brings in Cena for the finishing sequence. Joe cuts off the Shuffle though and it’s off to the Koquina Clutch. Reigns tries a save with the Superman Punch but Joe sidesteps it, causing Cena to get hit instead. The second Superman Punch hits Joe but Cena pops up and grabs the AA to pin Miz at 13:03.
Rating: C+. I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls. As usual, whenever you ask a crowd to pay attention for this long (to something they paid for of course), it’s bound to cause them to lose their interest and set off something like this. Naturally their response is screw anyone who doesn’t like it, because wrestling fans are selfish creatures by definition. I couldn’t stand this stuff in Orlando and it’s really annoying now, much like WWE encouraging this nonsense. As for the match, it was exactly what you would expect though Cena pinning Miz made me roll my eyes.
Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better shows they’ve done in a long time with two completely watchable matches and some good stuff from Raw. I’m not sure how to live in a world where Raw is completely outshining Smackdown but that’s been the case for a long time now. That makes the recap show a lot easier to watch and two pretty good matches helped quite a bit. Nice show this week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – August 21, 2017: Can Brock Smash A Beach Ball Please?
Monday Night Raw Date: August 21, 2017 Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
With Summerslam behind us, it’s time to start heading towards No Mercy, which ultimately leads us to Survivor Series. The big story is a combination of Brock Lesnar retaining the Universal Title and Braun Strowman arriving as the new monster as he manhandled Lesnar last night. If that’s not a title program at some point in the near future, I have no idea where WWE’s head is. Let’s get to it.
Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman says this isn’t a tape delay because we’re live with Brock Lesnar still your reigning and defending Universal Champion. He talks about the conspiracy against Lesnar, who fought off everyone else last night to keep his title. For the first time in his life, Lesnar was taken off the battlefield in an attempt to get rid of him without having to pin him or make him submit. But Lesnar wouldn’t have any of that and marched back down the aisle so conquering could ensue. As for tonight, there is no one in WWE or UFC history, like Lesnar himself.
Cue Braun Strowman and you can see Lesnar wince a bit. The fans cheer for Strowman as Brock gets in his face. A chokeslam is countered but Braun kicks him in the face and hits a powerslam to put Lesnar down. He starts to get up so it’s another powerslam, leaving Strowman to hold up the title. Strowman is the only person who should be challenging Brock right now and they would be crazy to wait any longer than Survivor Series (and even that’s a stretch) to do this match.
Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass
Street fight as this feud MUST continue. Before the match, Enzo talks about his history with Cass, including the two of them breaking bread together as his family’s house. Enzo grabs a shopping cart full of weapons, which he throws at Cass, who easily dodges and clotheslines Enzo down. A shopping cart shot to the ribs drops Enzo and they head inside with Cass throwing Enzo a chair.
That just earns Enzo a big boot to the face and we take a break. Back with Enzo hitting a jawbreaker but getting crushed in the corner again. A big boot misses though and Cass falls out to the floor. Cass kicks the chair away from Enzo again but seems to have hurt his knee on the fall. The knee gives out and the referee throws up the X and stops the match at 8:55.
Rating: D-. In a way I hope that was legit as I really, REALLY don’t need this feud to continue. Enzo has gone from being entertaining to one of the most annoying people I’ve seen in years as there’s just no point to have him fight Cass over and over again. The match was a squash anyway with Cass losing via basically slipping on a banana peel. He deserves better than that while Enzo deserves a root canal with no medication.
Emma is annoyed at Sasha Banks getting all this attention and complains to Dana Brooke about it. She runs her mouth about Nia Jax as well, who just happens to be standing right behind her. I think you know where this is going.
Nia Jax vs. Emma
Emma goes after her to start but gets run over and crushed with some elbow drops. A dropkick has no effect and it’s the Samoan drop for the pin on Emma at 1:14. So yeah, the division has three active wrestlers of any value but let’s make sure to squash Emma over and over and over to punish her for daring to question the company’s oh so brilliant planning. As usual, WWE would rather cut off its nose to spite its face and then wonder why people stopped caring about the division.
Here’s Elias for a song. He teases singing R-Truth’s song but says he’s kidding and it’s time for some real music. The song mocks Truth so here he is to interrupt.
R-Truth vs. Elias
Truth takes him down to start but runs into an elbow as Booker’s microphone isn’t working properly. Drift Away ends Truth at 1:22.
Here’s Kurt Angle to announce a new surprise: John Cena, who is now back on Raw. Cena isn’t sure why he’s here before saying he was asked to come here by Angle himself. That’s what Cena wanted because he wanted to go face to face with a certain superstar. Cue Roman Reigns and I’m rather curious to see who the fans will boo more. Cena says that’s the man he was looking for but Reigns says Cena has only been running his mouth on Twitter.
Reigns wants to know if Cena will run his mouth to his face. The fans chant for Undertaker, which Cena says is them holding a bit of a grudge. Cena didn’t come here to talk though and the mic’s are dropped. The fight is teased but here are Miz and the Miztourage to interrupt. Miz: “So this is what a sold out Barclays looks like. I wouldn’t know.” He asks how many moments Cena and Reigns get, earning himself a round of applause.
Miz wants to know why the two of them get this time while he was stuck on the Kickoff Show last night. A quick fan poll says Cena isn’t welcome here so Miz says there are 18,000 people wanting him to leave. Cena goes to leave but Miz spins him around and says he’s not done yet. Miz rants about how no one knows what to do with Cena or Reigns and that hurts him, the only champion in this ring. He wants to know when he gets his moment because he’s spent twelve years earning it.
Cena suggests he team up with Reigns to face Miz and either of Miz’s lackeys. Miz says no because that would be a moment for Cena and not him. This brings out Samoa Joe of all people to say that he’s going to be Miz’s partner whether Miz likes it or not. Joe doesn’t want to waste his time on Reigns because he owns Roman one on one.
Instead he slugs away at Cena as Reigns beats up Miz and the Miztourage. The AA is countered into the Koquina Clutch with Reigns making the save via a Superman Punch. Roman and Cena are left alone and the fans tell them that they both suck. I fully support these two singles matches, especially at No Mercy.
Drew Gulak/Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari vs. Rich Swan/Mustafa Ali/Gran Metalik/Cedric Alexander
No one gets an entrance and it’s Metalik walking the ropes to dropkick Gulak down. It’s quickly off to Ali vs. Daivari for a quick strike exchange. Swann comes in for the threat of a spinning kick to Daivari, which sends him over to the corner. Dar won’t tag in so Nese does it instead, earning himself a dropkick.
Nese runs Swann over though and we take a break. Back with Swann slugging away at Dar but not being able to get over for a tag. The fans are doing the wave as Cedric gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house with kicks to the head. Everything breaks down and Metalik moonsaults out to the floor, leaving Cedric to Lumbar Check Nese for the pin at 8:45.
Rating: D+. So that’s a thing that existed and that’s about all I can say about it. Really, the cruiserweight division is a big waste of time save for maybe the champion and his top challenger, which makes 205 Live an even bigger waste of time. It’s not even an entertaining match where most people didn’t even get involved. Just nothing to say here.
Neville is in the back and says the fans are hilarious for wanting someone else as champion. Cue Titus O’Neil and Akira Tozawa to say Daivari gets his rematch tomorrow night on 205 Live.
Jason Jordan comes in to see Angle and says he wants Finn Balor tonight. Kurt reluctantly agrees.
Here are Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose for a chat. Rollins is glad that they got back together and now they’re champions. Dean says he slept with the title under his pillow last night, which confuses Seth for a second until he says this is one big party. Seth says he wants to get the rematch with Cesaro and Sheamus out of the way but here are the Hardys to interrupt instead. Matt understands that brothers fight and thinks it’s time to make things wonderful. They’ve revolutionized tag team wrestling for twenty five years and it’s time to do it again in Brooklyn. Here’s a referee and we’re ready to go after a break.
Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Hardy Boyz
Non-title. Dean headlocks Matt to start but an early double team slows Ambrose down. It’s quickly off to Rollins for a kick to Jeff’s chest for two. The Spin Cycle gets two on Rollins but he drop toeholds Matt into a knee drop from Ambrose for two more. Neither finisher can hit though and it’s off to a stalemate.
A big slugout takes us to a break and we come back with Rollins enziguring Jeff. Matt and Dean come in with both champs being sent outside. Jeff nails Poetry in Motion over the top to drop them both again. Back in and Seth pulls Dean out of the way of the Whisper in the Wind before grabbing a front facelock. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jeff dropkicks both of them down.
It’s back to Matt as everything breaks down. A Sling Blade drops Matt so Dean can get two before the Hardys are sent outside. There’s the double suicide dive but Matt hits a Side Effect on Rollins on the apron. Another Side Effect gets two on Dean but he comes back with an attempt at a super Dirty Deeds. That doesn’t work of course so it’s the Twist of Fate to set up the Swanton, which hits raised knees. The wind-up jumping knee to the face sets up Dirty Deeds to end Jeff at 17:45.
Rating: B. Good, long match here with Seth and Dean getting a big win over a much more high profile team. They’ve got something with that jumping knee into Dirty Deeds too, which is a lot more than a lot of teams can say. The Hardys definitely seem to be shifting into the role of putting other teams over and there’s nothing wrong with that for them, especially at this point in their careers.
We look at the opening sequence again.
Here’s Sasha Banks for her first comments after winning the title. She may be from Boston but she’s always left her heart right here in Brooklyn. Like when she and Charlotte tore the house down last year at Summerslam, which allows her to wish Ric Flair well. Sasha plans on defending the title the right way but here’s Alexa Bliss to interrupt. She laughs off the idea of Sasha being the right kind of champion but wants nothing to do with a rematch tonight in front of these Brooklyn fanboys. They’ll fight soon enough but for now, Bliss is fine making Sasha wait.
Jason Jordan vs. Finn Balor
Jordan takes him down to the mat to start and a rollup gets two, earning Balor a quick smile. Another technical sequence puts Jordan down, only to have Finn hit a dropkick to stagger Jason. Balor wants nothing to do with a handshake and snapmares him down instead. A leapfrog is countered into a powerslam to give Finn two and we take a break.
Back with Jordan putting him down again and dropping an elbow to the ribs. They fight over a butterfly suplex with the fans very upset about something that seems to be off camera. Balor stops a charge with a boot in the corner before sending Jordan to the floor for a baseball slide. The running apron kick has Jordan in more trouble but Jason comes back with the belly to belly.
The shoulder in the corner looks to set up the wheelbarrow neckbreaker, only to have Finn counter into a crossbody. A Pele drops Jordan again and both guys are down. Jordan drives him into the corner but gets caught with a Sling Blade. The shotgun dropkick puts Jordan in the corner and it’s the Coup de Grace for the pin at 11:45.
Rating: B. Definitely Jordan’s best singles match to date and it made him look like a bigger deal. Balor winning was the right call as Jordan shouldn’t be beating a former World Champion just yet. It was a good, competitive match though and that’s much better than what you usually get from Jordan at this point.
Alexa gets her title rematch next week.
Miz/Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns/John Cena
Cena bulldogs Miz to start and the fans are very pleased as it’s already off to Joe. The fans go nuts over something and Cena actually pauses to look at it…..because it’s a freaking beach ball. It seems that the ball is taken away with Cena looking annoyed, earning himself a beating from Joe. Miz comes in to stomp away and it’s time for the wave again. Now Cena joins in the wave, earning himself a quick DDT for two.
The cheering and booing continues as a beach ball is put into play and confiscated as the match continues to be ignored. Cena gets ax handled for two as Miz stops to tell the fans to pay attention. Miz misses a charge and it’s off to Reigns to clean house with clotheslines to no reaction. Roman gets taken down as well for the YES Kicks. The last one is countered into a powerbomb though and both guys are down again.
Joe Rock Bottoms Roman but Reigns heads outside to beat up the Miztourage. Back in and the hot tag brings in Cena for the finishing sequence. Joe cuts off the Shuffle though and it’s off to the Koquina Clutch. Reigns tries a save with the Superman Punch but Joe sidesteps it, causing Cena to get hit instead. The second Superman Punch hits Joe but Cena pops up and grabs the AA to pin Miz at 13:03.
Rating: C+. I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls. As usual, whenever you ask a crowd to pay attention for this long (to something they paid for of course), it’s bound to cause them to lose their interest and set off something like this. Naturally their response is screw anyone who doesn’t like it, because wrestling fans are selfish creatures by definition. I couldn’t stand this stuff in Orlando and it’s really annoying now, much like WWE encouraging this nonsense. As for the match, it was exactly what you would expect though Cena pinning Miz made me roll my eyes.
Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was much better tonight with two very good matches but there was also a lot of stuff that felt like filler. As usual, if you cut out an hour of this show, it gets far better in a hurry, though at least the stuff that was good was very good. Strowman vs. Lesnar should be amazing and it would be even better if Cass’ legitimate knee injury isn’t serious. Good show tonight, which is a positive sign after last night’s hit and miss effort.
Results
Enzo Amore b. Big Cass via referee stoppage
Nia Jax b. Emma – Samoan drop
Elias b. R-Truth – Drift Away
Rich Swan/Mustafa Ali/Gran Metalik/Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Drew Gulak – Lumbar Check to Nese
Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Hardy Boyz – Dirty Deeds to Jeff
Finn Balor b. Jason Jordan – Coup de Grace
John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Miz/Samoa Joe – Attitude Adjustment to Miz
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
