Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

Things are getting interesting around here with last week’s show seeing Big Cass revealed as attacking himself to set up Enzo Amore. Why Cass didn’t just attack Amore during a match isn’t clear but that’s life in WWE. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is in the house and planning to call out Samoa Joe. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open things up and the WE WANT STROWMAN chants are already out in full force. Reigns: “If you let me get this out you might like this.” He admits that he got choked out last week and Braun Strowman returned to pick the bones. The ambulance match is on and Reigns is ready to drive Strowman out of the building.

Cue an ambulance backing into the arena (I was hoping for a Scott Steiner cameo) so Reigns goes to investigate, only to find…..no one in the back. Instead Strowman jumps him from behind and throws Roman onto the stage. Braun isn’t done with him though and throws Roman back off the stage and against the ambulance. Reigns gets tossed into the ambulance with the doors closed without much effort.

Elias Samson/Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boyz/Finn Balor

The good guys cut off what was going to be Samson singing with Sheamus and Cesaro, thereby making them villains. Matt and Sheamus start things off and it’s quickly off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion. Sheamus and Cesaro are sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Balor kicking Cesaro in the ribs and actor Josh Duhamel on commentary. A basement dropkick gets two for Balor as we hear about Sheamus appearing in a movie with Duhamel.

As you might expect, the match is COMPLETELY ignored to talk about the movie with only Duhamel sounding interested in the action. Balor tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. That doesn’t last long either as Jeff slips out and gets in the legdrop between Sheamus’ legs, only to be sent into the corner as we take another break.

Back with Sheamus giving Jeff the Irish Curse, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Jeff escapes again and brings in Matt to take over on Samson. The Side Effect gets two with Sheamus making the save, only to have Balor get the hot tag to really clean house. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent outside for the big flip dive. Balor dropkicks Cesaro into the corner and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: C. This was two segments in one as the first half was Duhamel plugging all of his projects (nothing wrong with that as I’m sure a studio told him to do it and he doesn’t know anything about wrestling) and then a pretty good match after the second break. Balor getting the pin is a good idea, though I’m not sure in the idea of him facing Samson in his next feud. At least the match was watchable, assuming you didn’t pay attention to the commentary.

Goldust is ready to debut the Shattered Truth because it’s the grand finale.

R-Truth vs. Goldust

Goldust has his own camera operator and is in his old gear. Truth gets jumped before the bell and laid out. No match.

Paul Heyman is talking about Samoa Joe when Joe comes up and grabs him by the throat. He lets Heyman go and says the Clutch is meant for Lesnar later tonight.

There’s a gauntlet match later tonight to determine the #1 contender to the Women’s Title. Bayley draws her number and seems pleased.

Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Their guests tonight: the Ball family of NBA fame. If you don’t know who they are, just grit your teeth and bear through it. LaVar, the father, runs to the ring and lays down on the mat for a bit before introducing his son Lonzo, who was recently drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers.

Miz is ready to start a partnership with the Ball’s Big Baller Brand but LaVar isn’t having any of that. Miz is a bit too low for LaVar, who runs his mouth about how awesome he is even more and climbs onto the bottom rope. LaVar: “BOY YOU BETTER STAY IN YOUR LANE OR THE HUNT IS ON AND YOU THE PREY!”

A fight is nearly on and here’s Dean Ambrose to interrupt, though LaVar keeps running his mouth. Dean is in a Big Baller Brand shirt because no one has bigger balls than him, plus he likes free t-shirts. That’s it for the segment, likely before LaVar can say anything else that sounds ridiculous. This was TERRIBLE and more proof that WWE cares about getting on SportsCenter and Access Hollywood than anything to do with TV. Honestly, that might have been the worst segment since Katie Vick, if not even further back than that.

Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz

Joined in progress with Slater working on Axel before it’s off to Rhyno vs. Miz. The announcers are burying the Big Baller Brand (fair enough as it’s overrated and ugly) as Rhyno gets caught in the wrong corner. Axel charges into an elbow in the corner and gets his head clotheslined off, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Everything breaks down and the bad guys are all sent outside as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks to Slater. A neckbreaker to Axel and a heel kick to Miz are enough for the hot tag to Rhyno as everything breaks down. Axel gets in a cheap shot on Rhyno, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but after the previous segment, this might as well have been Flair vs. Steamboat. I mean, it’s no Okada vs. Omega II which was totally 25% better than any “perfect” match ever or anything but it was that good. Miz having lackeys is a great idea for him as he’s the kind of guy who would pay people to hang out with him and do his bidding. It also keeps him feuding with Ambrose while keeping things a bit more fresh.

Long video on Enzo and Big Cass splitting up.

Here’s Enzo for his big speech. Enzo says this is about the realest guys in the room. He’s been trying to get hold of Cass all week, even calling his mother. The one thing he hasn’t done is talk to Cass himself so get out here right now or he’s not leaving the ring. This brings out Cass (with a slightly remixed version of the regular theme) to a hearty chorus of booing. Enzo knows that hurts him because he knows Cass better than anyone.

Words can cut you deep and he’s already bled out. Cass said a lot last week and a bunch of them were right. Enzo has the biggest mouth in the world and it bites off more than he can chew but it was ok because he had Cass with him. Last week, Cass let out his aggression with a lot of passion, which Enzo has seen from him before. The last time Enzo saw it was when he woke up in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a pay per view. Enzo isn’t letting him walk away before they become Tag Team Champions.

Cass takes the mic and says Enzo doesn’t know when to shut up. After last week, he’s never been so ashamed in his life. Yes Enzo is annoying and loud but that’s just how he is. They’re not going to change each other and they’re brothers. Cass apologizes and they shake hands with Cass hitting the catchphrase. They walk up the ramp….and there’s the big clothesline to Enzo. Cass asks the people if they want Enzo before tossing him down the ramp like a doll. That was a great speech from Enzo and Cass not caring is exactly the right call. I’d have had him kick Enzo in the face and leave without saying a word but this works too.

Post break Cass comes up to Corey Graves and tells him to stay out of his life, no matter what Graves has on Angle.

Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins starts fast and grabs a suplex before throwing on a chinlock. Rollins easily fights back and grabs a Sling Blade, followed by a Blockbuster. The springboard clothesline sets up the windup knee to the face for the pin on Hawkins at 2:59.

Bray Wyatt pops up to say Seth isn’t being himself and on July 9, he’ll take Rollins back where he belongs. So the match is confirmed.

Mickie James and Dana Brooke draw their numbers. Geez people pick up the pace a bit.

Post break, Banks draws her number.

Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about Samoa Joe not fearing Brock Lesnar. Heyman could have taken a cheap shot at Joe in the back and been saved by everyone breaking it up but he’d rather have Lesnar do it himself. This brings out Lesnar but Joe grabs him from behind on the stage and puts on the Koquina Clutch. Lesnar turns purple but drives Joe into the video wall, only to get choked down again. The locker room comes out to break it up but Brock looks really shaken.

Again, this was VERY well done with one very special key: Lesnar fought back but got choked down again. That makes it look like Joe can take something from Lesnar instead of just getting the upper hand in a blindside attack. Joe does not have to win the title but just doing stuff like this to make him feel like a threat is exactly what they needed to be doing.

Neville vs. Lince Dorado

Non-title with Akira Tozawa at ringside. Neville kicks him to the corner to start and grabs an early chinlock. Dorado fights up and hits a flip dive through the ropes, only to get kicked in the head. The Rings of Saturn makes Dorado tap at 3:03.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but I’m always a fan of using jobbers like this. Dorado doesn’t lose anything important by losing to the champ and Neville looks good by being so dominant. It also sets up the post match confrontation, so we can call this a well done little segment, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Neville is ready for the fight and Tozawa is happy to oblige but Titus O’Neil comes out to announce the Cruiserweight Title match for Great Balls of Fire. We’ll find out if the Neville Level can contend with the Power of Tozawa.

Emma draws.

We look at the opening segment.

Heyman thinks Lesnar will lose if he gets choked out at Great Balls of Fire. As a promoter though, he loves his because it’s set up perfectly. At the pay per view, Brock is going to hit the F5 and Samoa Joe is going to need smelling salts to be woken up. Joe is going to say that’s what it’s like to fight the Beast. Heyman: “Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!”

Nia Jax has drawn the final number and runs into Alexa Bliss, who knows what it’s like to be judged, just like her. She wishes Jax luck but Nia says she doesn’t need it.

Gauntlet Match

Six women involved total with two starting. Whoever wins the fall keeps going until all six are in with the last woman surviving getting a title shot at Great Balls of fire. Bayley is in at #1 and Nia Jax is in at #2. Bayley slugs away to start but is easily knocked into the corner for some choking. A missed charge lets Bayley hit a top rope elbow drop to a standing Nia’s back but some kicks to the leg don’t get her very far. Instead Nia kicks her into the corner and grabs the Samoan drop for the pin at 3:37. Mickie James is in third and we take a break.

Back with Nia blocking a sunset flip and grabbing a bearhug. Mickie slips out and kicks Nia out of the corner, followed by the top rope Thesz press for two. The spinning kick to the head staggers Jax but she runs Mickie over for the pin at 10:03. Dana Brooke is in fourth and the legdrop ends her at 11:02. Emma is in fifth and the Samoan drop gets rid of her at 12:31. That leaves Sasha Banks in sixth and she knocks Nia to the floor, only to have her suicide dive pulled out of the air. Sasha slips out and poses Nia, followed by the running double knees from the apron to take us to another break.

Back again with Nia holding a chinlock until Sasha fights up with the running knees in the corner. A very hard clothesline gives Nia two and she drops an elbow for the same. Nia takes out the leg and sends Sasha outside for a nine count before throwing on a bearhug. Sasha reverses into a guillotine (she’s been watching those Bayley tapes) but Nia powers her up into a suplex slam.

The legdrop misses though and Sasha hits a hard running elbow to the face. A standing Banks Statement is easily broken up and there’s another Samoan drop to send Sasha out to the apron. Nia pulls her up but gets caught in a modified Bank Statement with both of them on their knees, finally drawing the tap at 28:21.

Rating: B. Now why couldn’t they have done that with Bayley at some point? Anyway, this was the way you build a star up and Banks did just that to end the match. I can live with them pushing someone like Banks as a top star and her match with Bliss should have a lot of potential. Really strong performance from Jax here, who keeps a lot of momentum from winning four times in a row before losing partially due to exhaustion.

Post match Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa is out as well but gets kicked in the face, allowing Sasha to hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the moving day show with four matches being confirmed for the pay per view, including the second biggest match on the card and two title matches. Now that being said, a lot of the good is dragged down by perhaps the worst segment I’ve ever seen.

That ranks up there with Katie Vick and Mae Young giving birth to a hand: they’re embarrassing and make you want to change the channel if someone happens to walk into the room. Take that out and this is a much better show, but don’t be surprised tomorrow if you hear about Ball “selling his brand on some stupid wrestling show”. But any publicity is good publicity, right Vince?

Results

Finn Balor/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Elias Samson – Coup de Grace to Cesaro

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz b. Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose – Rollup to Rhyno

Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins – Windup knee to the face

Neville b. Lince Dorado – Rings of Saturn

Sasha Banks won a gauntlet match last eliminating Nia Jax

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: June 15, 2017
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Vic Joseph

It’s back to what should be the quintessential recap show as it’s not like people come here for the original wrestling content. Raw had one heck of a fight on Monday night and you have to imagine that’s going to be a big focal point of this show. We’re about three weeks away from Great Balls of Fire and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Curt Hawkins vs. Curtis Axel

Gah this always gets annoying with first names. Axel grabs a headlock to start and stomps away in the corner before getting two off a clothesline. That earns Curtis a knee to the back and a chinlock (with another knee to the back) as the announcers talk about these two teaming together.

Graves makes sure to mention that he and Neville used to be NXT Tag Team Champions, which is a very good idea. He wasn’t in NXT very long and that was several years ago. Remind us that you have in-ring credentials and people will pay more attention to you. Axel fights up but can’t get the PerfectPlex as Curt kicks away, only to get caught in it the second time to give Axel the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. Axel truly is the Main Event Musketeer as he never seems to leave the place. He’s good in the ring, the fans react to him and he’s using the perfect (See what I did there?) finisher. Just give him a story and see what he can do on the main roster because he’s likely going to be more over than most of the people around here.

Long recap of the Hardys vs. Sheamus/Cesaro.

Very shortened version of the Hardys vs. Sheamus/Cesaro from Raw, showing about three minutes of a fifteen minute match.

Also from Raw, this time in full form.

Here’s Wyatt to talk about how people shouldn’t deny him like Seth Rollins has done. Seth lives in a glass house and a single shout brought it all crashing down. This brings out Rollins, who says he was speaking the truth when he called Wyatt a false prophet. If Bray is that disturbed by what Seth said, do something about it. Bray says Seth is beneath him and that Rollins doesn’t want this fight. The lights go out again and Bray is gone. They go out again and Bray is on the screen, saying Seth can slay a king but not a god.

Gran Metalik vs. Ariya Daivari

Metalik sends him into the corner to start and it’s already time for the wristlock. A high crossbody gives Metalik two but gets tossed into the corner. We take a break and come back with Metalik walking the ropes into a dropkick for two. A running hurricanrana sends both guys out to the floor in a big crash and Metalik’s top rope elbow is good for two more. Daivari goes for the mask though and it’s a hammerlock lariat for the pin on Metalik at 7:53.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and I’m still wondering what Metalik did to WWE. He was on 205 Live a few weeks ago and now he’s jobbing to Daivari of all people? The match was nothing to see, save for a few good dives from Metalik. I feel sorry for him though as it’s like he just can’t catch a break.

We look back at Samoa Joe choking out Paul Heyman.

And now, the only way this show could end.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman to get things going with Paul saying it’s time for some revenge. Now last week, Samoa Joe attacked Heyman and Paul gets why that’s the case. Sometimes he certainly deserves it but that wasn’t true last week. Last week, Heyman saw someone that could go man to beast with Brock.

There have been a lot of Samoans in wrestling but Joe is the outcast one. For some reason he’s not treated the same and his biggest claim to fame is choking Heyman out. Heyman agrees that the Koquina Clutch was everything that Joe promised it would be. That made Heyman wonder what would happen to the title if Brock was ever caught in that hold. Then Heyman realized that’s not a problem because Joe isn’t man enough to get the hold on Brock Lesnar.

Cue Joe to headbutt Lesnar right in the face as the brawl is on. Security is sent out and dispatched just as fast so here’s the locker room (or at least the midcard) to try again. That goes just as badly with Joe breaking away to superkick Joe right in the jaw. The fight is finally broken up and things settle down. This was an outstanding start but there’s one thing: none of this matters if Brock is lazy and just does suplexes into an F5 at the pay per view. Make it a competitive match where they beat the heck out of each other and things will be fine. Just don’t make it a squash, please.

Overall Rating: D-. Totally skippable show this week with only the last segment being worth seeing. This felt like one of the older episodes of the show and that’s really not a good thing. It was the same cast of characters who weren’t interesting in the first place and now don’t do anything more than fill in a space on this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at Reigns’ potential Summerslam announced and what I think it’s going to be.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-reigns-summer/

Raw 10^th Anniversary
Date: January 14, 2003
Location: The World, New York City, New York
Hosts: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different kind of show as there are no new matches on it and probably no angle advancement, but rather a two hour long history package on the history of Monday Night Raw. In other words, this could range anywhere from a lot of fun to the biggest disaster since Rob Bartlett. Let’s get to it.

The opening is a big mash up of all the intros in a cool touch. Nice start.

We look at the first episode, which turns into a look at the early years of the show, set to Kid Rock’s Bawitaba. They hit almost everything over the ten years as montages are almost always fun.

JR and King welcome us to the show, which has the wrestlers sitting around a bunch of tables with empty plates in front of them. The Academy of Wrestling Arts and Sciences has determined the awards tonight, which made me chuckle for some reason. The awards themselves are called Ruckus Awards for reasons that aren’t clear.

Shawn Michaels comes out to present Diva of the Decade as they’re hitting the awards in a hurry. We hear about Shawn being #1 in the Rumble and get a few jokes about Bull Nakano and Bertha Faye. Here are the nominees with each one getting a highlight reel, as will be the case all night:

Sable

Sunny

Trish Stratus

Lita

Chyna

Winner: Trish Stratus. Trish gives a nice acceptance speech, thanking everyone who paved the way for her as well as Fit Finlay for his coaching, but the regular fans yelling ruin the moment.

And so much for this show being anything of note. Trish would wind up being a huge deal but at this point, she was eye candy who could barely get through a competent match more often than not. She only debuted back in 2000 and she’s already the best over the last ten years? In other words, she’s actually here and not on the injured list. This should have been Sable or maybe Chyna, but Trish makes it a horrible joke from the start.

Coach and Stacy Keibler are counting down the Top Ten Raw Moments so far, as voted by the fans (I’m sure). #10: This is Your Life Rock. How in the world is that not WAY higher? That was one of the better moments of the Attitude Era and one of the funnier things the company has done, just due to the natural chemistry on display. Unfortunately the blurring of the WWF logos make me look for my glasses instead of actually enjoying the segment.

Shane McMahon introduces the Don’t Try This at Home Award for craziest spot. The nominees:

Big Show chokeslams Undertaker through the ring

Jeff Hardy in TLC 2002 (no specific moment)

Dudley Boyz powerbomb Mae Young off the stage

Kurt Angle misses a moonsault off the top of the cage

Winner: Kurt Angle. Big Show was on his way to the stage for the award when he was told he didn’t win. Team Angle holds up an American flag behind Kurt as Kurt reads a speech with well timed paused for WHAT chants. His music plays him off as he gets to his childhood and things are wrapped up in a hurry.

Those aren’t exactly the best nominees but a lot of big bumps don’t take place on Raw. I’d have gone with the Outlaws shoving Mankind and Chainsaw Charlie off the stage in a dumpster but I don’t think any of them worked for the company at this point, save for the injured Billy Gunn.

Here’s a montage of horrible gimmicks, including but not limited to Kamala (quite the career with a simple gimmick), IRS (the most memorable stretch of a long career), TL Hopper (stupid), Kwang, Dean Douglas (could have been fine with a more accepted performer), Men on a Mission (one of whom main evented Summerslam), Papa Shango (now in the Hall of Fame), Earthquake (way past his prime by the Raw era), Johnny Polo (had a TON of potential), Hakushi (talented guy and I’m not sure how he qualifies as a bad gimmick, save for the characters on his upper body) and Tatanka (gimmick as old as wrestling itself).

I left out a ton for the sake of keeping this short but most of those are perfectly fine. Like really, how Earthquake was a bad gimmick? Actually is Earthquake even a gimmick? He’s just a big guy who sat on your chest (sounds like Rikishi, who is pushed as a veteran star on Smackdown). Yeah a lot of the names listed here were stupid but mixing names like the Bushwhackers (who wrestled with those characters for years and were eventually inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame) and Tekno Team 2000 (a nothing team whose gimmick wasn’t exactly clear) is nonsense.

Oh and the person who introduced this: Stacy Keibler, whose gimmicks have included sexy secretary/businesswoman, random blonde woman and marketing director who makes testicle jokes. In other words, this is WWE acting like they’re the most clever people in the world and anyone who dares suggest that they’ve ever had a bad idea doesn’t get how sports entertainment works.

Moment #9: Austin crushes Rock’s car.

Booker T. presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Award for most shocking moment. After a few jokes about Chris Jericho’s outfit and hair (Booker: “You go girl!”), here are the nominees:

3 Faces of Foley

Eric Bischoff Debuts

The Brawl for All (the whole thing)

Kane Lights Things on Fire

Austin Drives a Zamboni to the Ring

Winner: 3 Faces of Foley, though Foley isn’t here tonight. That was a really cool moment and showed off how awesome Foley’s character really was but it pales in comparison to Bischoff appearing on Raw.

You could also throw in something like the 1-2-3 Kid beating Razor Ramon, Rock and Hogan squaring off or Hogan vs. Austin (it happened, albeit for about eight seconds in a six man tag). But no, let’s go with someone who can’t be here when Bischoff is RIGHT THERE.

He’s so RIGHT THERE that he’s interviewed after the award is given and says he’s focused on the next 29 days as he tries to fix Raw.

Ric Flair comes out to announce the wrestlers who have passed away in the Raw era, with a video set to Tell Me a Lie:

Andre the Giant (who never appeared on Raw), Joey Marella, Brian Pillman, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Gorilla Monsoon, Yokozuna, British Bulldog

In other words, the big names instead of people they feel the need to mock, like Bertha Faye earlier. You know, because it was too hard to list more than eight names.

Chris Jericho comes out in his goofy gear and dedicates the look to the Hollywood Fashion Plate Classy Freddie Blassie. We get the nominees for the Gimme the Mic Award:

Steve Austin

D-Generation X

Kurt Angle

Mick Foley

Mr. McMahon

The Rock

Winner: The Rock. Jericho tries to take the award for himself but Rock appears on screen (because he can’t show up either) and says tonight is about memories. Rock does FINALLY and the crowd boos, mainly because he’s not actually there. After telling Jericho what to do with his microphone, Rock talks about beating Angle in Pittsburgh and dubs Team Angle Team Suck Squad. As for Stephanie a cheap lady of the night, which she finds funny because she’s not allowed to give up anything. Goldust and Booker get praised but the fans start up the BORING chant. A few more thank yous and catchphrases finally wrap this up.

Well that didn’t work and can you really blame Rock for that? He’s not even there and the company decides that NEW YORK is going to be cool with a satellite feed? At this point the fans have figured out that this whole thing is a big waste of time and they’re treating it as such. At least the nominees were all fine here, which is a first tonight.

Moment #8: Shane McMahon buys WCW. You know, because that’s what fans wanted when the promotions finally started working together.

Michael Cole and Tazz present the Shut Up and Kiss Me Award for best on screen romantic couple. The nominees:

Mark Henry and Mae Young

Chyna and Eddie Guerrero

Lita and Matt Hardy

Mr. McMahon and William Regal

Stephanie McMahon and Triple H

Winners: Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. Well duh. They reunite on the stage with Stephanie listing off their history on TV. HHH offers a reenactment, only to drop his pants and bend over for a spank. Remember that this is one day after he was stripped to his underwear by Scott Steiner when he was supposed to be the biggest heel in the world.

Moment #7: Steve Austin attacks Vince in the hospital.

Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson present Network Difficulties Award for most controversial moments. The nominees are:

Mae Young Gives Birth to a Hand

Steve Austin Stuns Santa Claus

HLA

Pillman’s Got a Gun

Winner: Mae Young Gives Birth to a Hand. Mae accepts and is rushed off the stage.

This would be another award given out because someone is actually there as Pillman’s Got a Gun was about as far as they’ve ever pushed anything and Young is one of the dumbest things they’ve ever done. Austin Stunning Santa was pretty tame and could have easily been replaced by Austin being crucified, but I’m assuming that’s another one we’re banning from memory.

Moment #6: D-Generation X parodies the Nation. Funny, but should be further down the list.

Brock Lesnar presents Superstar of the Decade and does a better job of speaking in such an open forum than you would expect. Here are the nominees:

Mick Foley

The Rock

Bret Hart

Triple H

Steve Austin

Undertaker

Winner: Steve Austin. And there’s no Austin as Vince comes out and says Austin wasn’t invited so he’ll accept on Steve’s behalf. While that would seem like a perfect way to have Austin show up, we just go to HHH to say how ridiculous that is and walk out.

Austin was the obvious winner, though if you’re talking about the entire decade, Undertaker is the only one to have been around even close to the whole time.

Moment #5: Steve Austin vs. Mike Tyson. I’m really worried about the four moments they’re putting above that because it could be a mess.

Match of the Decade has no presenter for some reason so here are the nominees:

TLC 2002

Triple H vs. Cactus Jack – Falls Count Anywhere

Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker – Ladder Match

Steve Austin vs. Kane

Winner: TLC 2002. Most of the people involved accept the award and thank the TLC performers who came before them.

Out of everything else on the show, this is easily the biggest nonsense. Just look at the nominees. Here’s an actually reasonable list of choices for this:

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty – May 17, 1993

Triple H vs. Cactus Jack – Falls Count Anywhere – September 4, 1997

British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart – March 3, 1997

Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. Two Man Power Trip – May 21, 2001

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy – Ladder Match – May 27, 2002

Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid – July 11, 1994

And probably about ten more before we get to some of the nominees they listed here. This really feels like an award they put about thirty seconds of effort into and that’s not good. When the two recent matches both involve ladders (and aren’t even the only two ladder matches from Raw 2002), there’s something rather wrong with the nominees and the people who nominated them.

Moment #4: DX Invades Nitro. Now this is an interesting one as I think its importance has been rather overblown. Raw had already won a night in the ratings war so it’s not like it sent the show over the top. Also, while DX was hot at this point, it was the Steve Austin Show at this point with everyone else miles behind him. Finally, it’s not like anything really happened. It was an amazing setup but at the end of the day, they just shows a door closing and DX on what they called a tank. But it has Triple H involved so it’s instantly a big deal. Cool moment, but not as important as it’s made out to be.

Moment #3: Rock Challenges Hulk Hogan for Wrestlemania XVIII. No issues here.

Moment #2: Raw is Owen. They’re adding a moment about someone passing away to the same list as a DX parody of the Nation on a show where they make fat jokes about Bertha Faye. I’ll be moving on now.

Edge presents the #1 moment. After a speech about how awesome Raw is, it’s Austin Driving the Beer Truck. Well of course. What better way to end the night than by reminding the fans once again that Austin isn’t here? This isn’t even the biggest Austin moment as the Austin vs. Tyson showdown was a big part of what made Austin the star that he would become. The beer truck belongs on the list but not at #1, no matter how you look at it.

Everyone comes onto the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: E. For E. Coli, a sickness you get from something being too Raw. This was a terrible show with a bunch of stuff designed to basically flip the fans off by saying none of the top stars were there (Rock, Austin and Foley were all missing live) and the awards were little more than a joke. I know the top ten was voted on by fans but this was either rigged or the fans are a lot dumber than I thought. Really, calling the beer truck the best moment of all time? How is that possible?

This show was absolutely terrible as they didn’t bother trying to hide what they were doing here. It felt like they put this together in all of five minutes and if the fans hated it, whatever. Instead of a celebration of the ten years of Raw, it felt like a way to hype up the Rumble and pay lip service to the show at the same time. When Raw has TESTICLES and Smackdown has Al Wilson, what else is there to take away all the focus from all the creative staff? Terrible show here and a major insult to the fans and wrestlers, which unfortunately isn’t a big surprise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 12, 2017
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

It’s a big night as Brock Lesnar is back on the show for the first time since winning the Universal Title nearly two and a half months ago. That means we’re getting ready for his first title defense against Samoa Joe in about a month, which has been enhanced by Samoa Joe choking out Lesnar’s advocate Paul Heyman. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Samoa Joe attacking Heyman last week to send Lesnar a message. That’s still the perfect way to set the match up.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman to get things going with Paul saying it’s time for some revenge. Now last week, Samoa Joe attacked Heyman and Paul gets why that’s the case. Sometimes he certainly deserves it but that wasn’t true last week. Last week, Heyman saw someone that could go man to beast with Brock.

There have been a lot of Samoans in wrestling but Joe is the outcast one. For some reason he’s not treated the same and his biggest claim to fame is choking Heyman out. Heyman agrees that the Koquina Clutch was everything that Joe promised it would be. That made Heyman wonder what would happen to the title if Brock was ever caught in that hold. Then Heyman realized that’s not a problem because Joe isn’t man enough to get the hold on Brock Lesnar.

Cue Joe to headbutt Lesnar right in the face as the brawl is on. Security is sent out and dispatched just as fast so here’s the locker room (or at least the midcard) to try again. That goes just as badly with Joe breaking away to superkick Joe right in the jaw. The fight is finally broken up and things settle down. This was an outstanding start but there’s one thing: none of this matters if Brock is lazy and just does suplexes into an F5 at the pay per view. Make it a competitive match where they beat the heck out of each other and things will be fine. Just don’t make it a squash, please.

Back with a replay because of course.

Here’s Elias Samson to sing a song running down both Louisiana and Dean Ambrose.

Elias Samson vs. Dean Ambrose

They brawl into the corner to start with Booker praising Samson every chance he can. An elbow to the face and chop send Samson to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose caught in a chinlock before fighting up with more elbows to the face. A fisherman’s suplex is good for two on Samson and the suicide dive makes things even worse.

Back in and Dean breaks up a superplex attempt, only to have Miz come out for a distraction. Samson’s rollup gets two but Dean goes after Miz and Maryse. The distraction is good for a nine count with Samson kneeing Dean in the back as he comes back in. Samson’s swinging neckbreaker is good for the pin on Ambrose at 11:49.

Rating: C. Samson is being treated as a big deal (certainly a bigger deal than he was in NXT) and that’s a good thing. Ambrose isn’t going to be hurt by screwy finishes like this one so just let him talk his way right back to his normal spot. Miz vs. Ambrose has been done to death but there’s a good chance they’ll blow the whole thing off at the pay per view.

Goldust says he and R-Truth were never friends or brothers. No one ever understood him and he’s going to make them all very uncomfortable.

Kurt Angle yells at Miz, who brings up Kurt’s personal problems. Miz wants Angle to do something about Dean but Angle says do it yourself.

Video on Cedric Alexander.

Noam Dar is in the back when Cedric comes up to say he’s done with Dar and Alicia Fox. It turns out that Alicia is talking to Alicia on Skype and she wants Cedric to say things to his face. Alexander says this ends tonight. Didn’t he just say he was already done with it?

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar

Dar brings his phone to the ring where Fox is still yelling at him. For some reason this goes over the arena’s audio system with Alicia saying he’s making her neck hurt. As for the match, the bell rings and the Lumbar Check ends Dar at 6 seconds.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his plans for Summerslam. Isn’t it a bit early for that? Eh not for Reigns of course.

Bray Wyatt wants to break things.

Here’s Wyatt to talk about how people shouldn’t deny him like Seth Rollins has done. Seth lives in a glass house and a single shout brought it all crashing down. This brings out Rollins, who says he was speaking the truth when he called Wyatt a false prophet. If Bray is that disturbed by what Seth said, do something about it. Bray says Seth is beneath him and that Rollins doesn’t want this fight. The lights go out again and Bray is gone. They go out again and Bray is on the screen, saying Seth can slay a king but not a god.

The Hardys are ready to get their titles back.

Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

Because WWE doesn’t know how to end a feud. Titus O’Neil is at ringside and has Akira Tozawa in the front row to help recruit him to the Titus Brand. You know, because he couldn’t get tickets on his own. Kalisto does his handstand walk but Crews dropkicks him down. We hit a front facelock as Tozawa is plugging his ears to avoid listening to Titus. Kalisto’s hurricanrana driver gets two, followed by Crews’ Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 2:16.

Tozawa is thrown into the ring and forced to take a picture. He doesn’t look pleased.

Miz comes up to Heath Slater and Rhyno (who are eating cheese and crackers) to offer the former a spot in his entourage. Slater seems intrigued in exchange for an Intercontinental Title shot. Rhyno doesn’t like this and tells Miz to get a partner for a tag match later.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat….but she’s quickly cut off by a ticked off Nia Jax. Alexa’s tone changes in a hurry and she talks about wanting to give Nia a great match that people would talk about for years. It was Mickie James and Dana Brooke that messed things up though. This brings out Mickie and Dana to call Bliss out for saying they all have a Nia Jax problem.

Bliss doesn’t want to hear it because she’s above the two of them but here’s Emma to say it’s her time. Alexa says this is what she’s talking about and tries to get Nia on her side, only to have Sasha Banks come out as well. She wants to show Bliss how a Boss throws a party and decks Alexa in the face. The brawl is on and we take a break.

Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma vs. Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks

Well duh. Joined in progress with Bliss holding Dana in a chinlock until it’s off to Emma. Dana stops a charge with a raised boot but Emma kicks her in the ribs to cut off a tag attempt. That lasts all of three seconds as it’s off to Sasha for the house cleaning. Emma tries to tag off to Alexa but the champ drops to the floor and walks out. Mickie dives onto Nia and Sasha grabs the Bank Statement to make Emma tap at 3:29.

Rating: D+. At least they kept it short. These matches don’t really do much for me as they’re just throwing everything together for the sake of having everyone in the match. The teams only make a bit of sense but at least they said Angle set them up. It’s not horrible but this is your standard WWE booking formula, which isn’t the best thing in the world.

The announcers talk about Money in the Bank.

Video on Finn Balor.

Bayley sat down with Corey Graves earlier today to talk about her loss at Extreme Rules. Bayley says she’s always going to be herself and do what’s best for herself no matter what. As for her future, she wants to get her title back and walk into Wrestlemania defending it again next year. The fans need to know that they can do it their way, which is what she wants everyone to know. To wrap it up, Bayley hugs Graves, who looks a bit disturbed. Graves: “I need a cigarette.”

Miz/??? vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Miz doesn’t have a partner…..so here’s a bear on a tricycle. The bear scratches itself on the post and distracts Slater so he can grab a rollup for two. An armbar doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to the bear for a staredown. Heath doesn’t think much of it so the bear paws him (one of Cole’s many jokes) a few times.

It’s back to Miz, who beats the bear up. The head is taken off to reveal…..a no name. Back in and Miz gets beaten down again, only to have the bear come back in with the head on. Miz is sent into Maryse, who walks out on the match. Of course it’s Dean Ambrose underneath the match this time and Dirty Deeds gives Heath the pin at 6:30. Total comedy that advanced the story.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match but a comedy segment that had wrestling involved. That being said, I had a good time with this one because it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than what it was. Just have some fun out there and advance a story with something that had been set up earlier in the story.

Video on the Hardys returning and winning/losing the Tag Team Titles.

Neville vs. Rich Swann

Non-title and Neville jumps Swann during his dancing. The Rings of Saturn go on and there’s no match.

Neville lists off the people he’s destroyed and wants to know how many more names he has to beat up before he gets his respect. That brings him to Akira Tozawa, who has been getting his attention as of late. If Tozawa keeps doing this though, he’s going to have to bend his knee as well.

Cesaro and Sheamus say they are the bar.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Hang on as Cass is down again (you can see Revival walking through the background) with Enzo running up to check on him. Cass says it was one shot to the back of his head but he’ll be out there anyway. After Anderson and Gallows get in some mocking, the match starts anyway. Cass is clearly shaken up as he beats Anderson up. It’s off to Enzo as Cass is knocked off the apron again. Enzo fights back but gets superkicked out of the air, setting up the Magic Killer for the pin at 2:27.

Big Show comes out to break up the post match beatdown. Cass isn’t cool with Show helping Enzo up.

Post break Enzo asks Show if he attacked Cass because not many people could take Cass out with one shot. Show calls Cass S-A-W-F-T.

We recap the opening segment.

Samoa Joe is ready to choke Brock out. Again, this is Joe looking serious and sounding like he can back it up. He’s also not being presented as scared of Brock, which is a rare thing.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his Summerslam plans. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardys

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and this is 2/3 falls. An early Brogue Kick misses and it’s Poetry in Motion to set up the Side Effect for two on Sheamus. Jeff tries to jump over Sheamus and gets Brogue Kicked for the first fall at 1:11. If my sources are right, that’s the first time the Hardys have been pinned in a tag match since November 2014.

Back from a break with Jeff still in trouble until he kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag off to Matt. The DELETE chants strike up as Matt sends Cesaro into each buckle ten times. A tornado DDT gets two and the Twist of Fate ties things up at 8:51 (total, including the first fall).

Everything breaks down in a hurry for the third fall with Jeff getting kneed in the face for two. Cesaro takes Matt down into the Sharpshooter but Jeff makes a save. The European uppercut gets another near fall on Jeff as Matt is driven into the barricade. Jeff gets in a quick Swanton but Cesaro makes the save at two. Everyone brawls to the floor and the third fall is a double countout at 15:25.

Rating: B. I’m really not sure where they’re going with this (as in I don’t know what the next gimmick will be) but this actually got me a bit more into the feud than I had been before. It’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world but they were beating each other up here and had me interested in where it was going, which is a lot more than I can say for most feuds these days.

The Hardys beat them up a bit more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was….different, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. First of all, the show didn’t really have one big story and kept going around to different topics instead of focusing on one. The main event was treated like a big deal but Joe vs. Lesnar was done in the first fifteen minutes and the next major story was over the midcard title.

It felt like a throwaway show, which it probably was given the NBA Finals being on TV again. Of course that’s likely going to be used as a way to prove Roman’s drawing power, but that’s life in WWE. The show wasn’t good but it was watchable and felt a bit different, which might be the best thing I can say about it.

Results

Elias Samson b. Dean Ambrose – Swinging neckbreaker

Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar – Lumbar Check

Apollo Crews b. Kalisto – Toss powerbomb

Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma – Bank Statement to Emma

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Miz/Bear – Dirty Deeds to Miz

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Amore

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Hardys went to a draw

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 30, 2002
Hosts: Terri, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year and that means…..a Best Of show. I’m not entirely sure how many great things there were on Raw in 2002 but thankfully we’re getting a Best Of WWE show, meaning we’ll be seeing Smackdown and pay per view matches as well. That offers a few more possibilities so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with a mix of Beautiful People and Across the Nation. I’ve heard worse.

Terri and Coach welcome us to the show and run down some of the stuff we’ll be seeing later.

Before we get into this, two quick notes: they’re showing clipped versions here but I’ll be posting the full versions. I’m also going to be skipping the quick introductions from the hosts and the recaps, which don’t really add anything.

From Smackdown, September 26.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ. Eddie starts hammering away until a monkey flip puts him down. The fans are all over Eddie as he easily breaks up a keylock. An elbow to the head drops Edge and Eddie hits some rather hard right hands. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Edge snaps off a powerslam, only to take too long getting to the top.

That means a huge superplex to give Eddie two and it’s time to head outside. Unfortunately it’s also time for a ladder and that means a ref bump as the ladder goes straight into his face (looked great actually). Back in and Eddie unloads on him with a chair but misses the frog splash to put both guys down.

We come back from a break with a new referee and the second only now being taken to the back. That’s really not a good response time. Edge gets in the half nelson faceplant but takes too much time going up, allowing Eddie to snap off a hurricanrana for a close two. A springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb with Eddie’s head bouncing off the mat in a scary visual.

The ladder is brought in but it’s also knocked into Edge’s face to drop the Canadian again. That means Eddie needs a second ladder so he can sandwich Edge together, setting up the slingshot hilo. Guerrero gets one heck of a cheer from the crowd and it’s really hard to blame him with how hard they’re beating each other up out there.

Eddie goes up the ladder but Edge is there to slug it out…..so Eddie sunset powerbombs him off with one of the biggest bumps you’ll see on regular TV. Edge just got folded up and it looked awesome. That’s good for another respectful round of applause and somehow only two. In almost any other match, that should have been the fall.

Back up again and Edge backdrops him into the ladder in the corner before they climb the second ladder a second time. You know, because it ended so well earlier. This time Edge rams him face first into the top a few times and grabs an Edgecution off the ladder (looked a bit more like a superplex for the sake of clearing the ladder but the landing still looked great) for the pin and one last big reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A. Sometimes you need a great story with all kinds of intricacies and plot details. Sometimes you need a big climax to a major story. Then sometimes you need two incredibly talented wrestlers doing crazy things to each other involving a ladder. This was spectacular with both guys absolutely destroying each other with one more big spot after another. Nothing was topping that sunset powerbomb though and I think everyone knew it. Edge winning the match (and in theory the feud) is the right call and Eddie didn’t lose a thing here. Aside from the match of course. This is on multiple DVDs and it’s easy to see why.

From Raw, July 1.

WWE World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending and it’s a ladder match. JR warns us that this could be the biggest trainwreck in history. Before the match, Jeff jumps onto Undertaker’s motorcycle to start the mind games. The champ goes outside and has a ladder dropkicked into him, followed by a chair shot to the head.

That goes nowhere though as Undertaker clotheslines Jeff’s head off, only to have Jeff send him into the ladder up against the apron. Another ladder shot to the head knocks Jeff into the announcers’ table but Undertaker opts to climb back down and do some more beating. They both wind up inside for I believe the first time with the very slow beating continuing. Jeff slugs away for a bit but is punched right back down to kill the crowd again.

Undertaker puts Jeff inside the ladder for the apron legdrop and the destruction continues. A Whisper in the Wind gets Jeff out of trouble and he uses the ladder as a springboard to take Undertaker down again. It’s time for the big ladder and a horrible looking hurricanrana sends Undertaker outside. Jeff gets a hand on the belt but a chair to the back brings him right back down.

Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Jeff gets in a weak chair shot to the head. Thankfully Undertaker almost pops back up so Jeff BLASTS him with a much better shot. That’s not really sold either as more chair shots slow Jeff down. A chokeslam off the ladder (chokeshove really) allows Undertaker to pull the title down.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches that just hasn’t aged well. I remember losing my mind when Jeff hit Undertaker with the chair on the original viewing but this really doesn’t hold up later on. The last few minutes help this but it was a long squash until the ending. We’ve sat through a few weeks of Undertaker destroying the Hardys and now he does it again in Jeff’s signature match before moving on to the Angle match. Not great but watchable enough.

For some reason they don’t show Undertaker’s post match face turn.

From Summerslam.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Raw Retro: Raw is Owen.

From Wrestlemania XVIII.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

A shoulder puts Rock down and it’s 1987 all over again as Hogan plays to the crowd. Hogan even calls him a meatball as a callback to Rocky III. Now it’s Rock shoving him down and telling Hulk to just bring it. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work and it’s Hogan punching even more. A clothesline sets up an abdominal stretch on the Rock as they’re keeping it very simple so far with big moves to fit the stadium style.

The fans boo Rock out of the building for some chops in the corner so Hogan comes back with a chokeslam of all things. They head outside with Hogan hitting him in the back with a chair. Back in and we’ve got a ref bump which really isn’t needed here. Rock hooks a Sharpshooter and Hogan makes the ropes, only to tap when Rock drags him back to the middle.

A loud ROCKY SUCKS chant breaks out but Hogan turns it into cheers with a low blow and a Rock Bottom of his own. It’s weightlifting belt time but Rock grabs a DDT, allowing him to do some whipping. The Rock Bottom connects…..and he Hulks Up. Hulk kicks out at two and 68,000 people are suddenly five years old again and Hogan is their hero. It’s as if he apologizes for every bad thing he’s done in just a few seconds and the fans accept him with open arms.

The three punches, the big boot and legdrop (JR: “HE BEAT ANDRE THE GIANT WITH THAT MOVE!”) get two so Hogan loads up another leg but it’s Wrestlemania VI all over again. There’s a second Rock Bottom, followed by a third and Rock nips up. The People’s Elbow puts Hogan away at 16:23.

Rating: B. This is ALL about the crowd as the in ring action was ok at best. The fans carry this to an epic encounter though and the ending was the only option they had. Hogan is the biggest name ever but this isn’t WCW and a guy ten years past his prime doesn’t beat the biggest star in the business at the time. That Hulk Up spot is one for the ages and it was done so perfectly that it’s the part of this show people remember more than anything else. Not a great match but an incredible performance and spectacle.

Post match Hogan gets to his feet and stares Rock down again before weakly extending his hand. Rock shakes it and leaves but here are Hall and Nash to beat Hogan down for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Rock comes back in for the save and it’s posing a go-go. They knew they had something with Hogan here but they had a short time window. He was World Champion in April and lost it a month later, but the idea worked at the time.

From Summerslam.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

For some reason they only aired about seven minutes of that one. Everything else has had at least half.

From Backlash.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

I love those big pieces of metal that swing back and forth to go with the Backlash name. You don’t see that kind of stuff enough anymore. Angle makes the mistake of charging at Edge to start and runs into some right hands. A flapjack sends Kurt outside and he’s rather upset by these circumstances.

Back in and a wicked German suplex sends Edge flying and an overhead belly to belly gets two. It’s already off to the chinlock and things slow down a bit. Edge fights back again and gets in a belly to belly of his own to buy a breather. The yet to be named Edgecution gets two on Angle but Edge takes too long on top, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex. That always looks great.

Some rolling Germans give Angle more near falls but Edge gets in something like a release German suplex of his own. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor again (Why is that floor so shiny?) and Edge dives down onto him for a lighter pop than I was expecting. Back in and an Angle Slam sets up a quick ankle lock but Edge rolls through for a near fall. Angle brings in a chair (Why does the referee never even try to stop that?) but walks into an Edge-o-Matic. The spear is blocked by a knee to the face and the Angle Slam gives Kurt the clean pin.

Rating: B. I know he’s run a lot of his legacy into the ground but dang Angle was good back in the day. It’s crazy to think that he had only been in the WWF about two and a half years at this point because he’s been great for so long. Edge is getting a heck of a rub out of this feud and it’s doing a lot to make him into a bigger deal. That’s such an important key to his career: they didn’t go nuts and hot shot Edge because they knew he was going to be something special. Let him season in this role and then move him up when he’s ready.

We see about five minutes of Rock vs. Lesnar.

From Raw, October 7.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Kane/Hurricane

TLC with Kane defending on his own as Hurricane is still down in the back. It’s a huge brawl to start with Jericho throwing in an early ladder as people pair off. Christian and Jericho are easily shoved off said ladder though and everyone else heads outside. Jeff dives off the barricade to take Kane down and it’s Christian and Jericho putting the ladder on the turnbuckle.

Spike goes into the ladder but heel miscommunication puts Christian down. Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline and chokeslams Bubba for good measure. There’s a ladder up in the ring as Kane throws Spike over the top and onto Van Dam. The Canadians knock Kane to the floor and put him on a table so Jeff can hit a legdrop off a ladder. Christian gets powerbombed off the ladder and we take a break.

Back with Bubba and Jericho slugging it out on top of the ladder as it’s clear that Kane is the only one tall enough to reach the belts at that height. Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the ladder and Christian gives Van Dam a reverse DDT off another one. This match is still all over the place and doesn’t feel like there’s any teamwork or anything other than a bunch of people doing a bunch of spots.

With everyone down, the fans want tables. Christian goes up but gets crotched on the top by Kane, followed by a powerslam to Jeff. Bubba plays Matt for some Poetry in Motion to Kane and there’s the Van Terminator to knock him even sillier. Jeff goes up so Bubba superplexes him right back down and everyone is done. In an interesting note, we see a replay of the superplex and the original commentary is still there. You don’t hear that too often.

Now it’s Jericho going up with Spike shoving the ladder over, sending Jericho out to the floor in a scary looking crash. Christian throws Spike through a table as this just keeps going. The Five Star hits Christian and Jeff misses a Swanton before being backdropped through a table. Kane comes back in and chokeslams Jericho off a ladder before pulling down the titles for the win.

Rating: B-. This was entertaining but WAY too long at over twenty five minutes, the fourth longest of all time and the longest team version ever. Above that though, there was no flow or psychology to the match. With the more famous one, you could tell that the matches were laid out with far more precision, which made for a better match. This one was all over the place with everyone hitting random spots and popping back up for the next one. It’s entertaining but nothing I’ll remember watching in a day or two.

Coach and Terri wrap it up.

Overall Rating: A-. I never know how to rate these things but they had some great stuff and covered almost everything that mattered, save for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Now even ONE MATCH? There was a lot of Summerslam here, which really is best for everyone. It’s a nice way to wrap up 2002, but the fact that they’re moving towards HHH vs. Scott Steiner doesn’t help things.

Overall 2002 was all over the place. The first few months feel like the show is running on fumes, then the Brand Split breathed some life into it for a few weeks, then the shows were horrible over the first half of the summer, then Summerslam was one of the best shows ever, then Raw was horrible and Smackdown was great. The company seems to be searching for a way forward and I really don’t think they’ve found it yet.

As we head into 2003, things are as different as ever. Over on Raw you have the HHH show where he tries to prove that he can carry everything on his back. That’s not exactly thrilling TV but I have a feeling it’s what we’re going to be seeing it for a very long time. If there’s one thing you can count on from HHH, it’s him hammering things into your head until you agree with him.

On the blue side, things are starting to come into focus. It’s clear that they’re building towards Angle vs. Lesnar, which should be one heck of a match. In addition to that you have Los Guerreros, Edge and Benoit getting better every week. As always, Smackdown is the wrestling show and that makes for some very entertaining TV.

The upcoming year shows no signs of changing the pattern of the shows as the same trends could go on for months. Raw will continue to be the storyline heavy show while Smackdown is much more about the in-ring product. If they could find a way to combine those things into one, you could have one heck of a wrestling program. Instead though, we’re likely stuck with one good show and one horrid one. Such is life in WWE, even to this day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 19, 2002
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the last pay per view of the year and that means we only have two Smackdowns left. The big story on the Smackdown side is Kurt Angle becoming the new Smackdown World Champion, having defeated Big Show in a match that was way better than it had any right to be. That puts us on the road to the Royal Rumble, where Chris Benoit might be the new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tag match with Big Show pinning Angle and then Angle winning the title thanks to Brock Lesnar’s help. This eats up over three minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle, with a belt that still says Big Show, to open things up. He lists off his accomplishments but this title win was different. Angle isn’t sure if he could have won the title without Lesnar so he’d like Brock out here now. Cue Brock to one heck of a reaction. Angle agrees to give him a shot at the title anytime, any place. That’s what Brock wanted to hear because he wants his shot tonight. Actually that doesn’t work for Kurt though because he has a non-title match with Chris Benoit. Lesnar will get his title shot next week though, which Lesnar begrudgingly accepts.

Big Show is livid about Lesnar getting the first shot and rants to Paul Heyman about it. Don’t worry though because Heyman has a fan. Again, this takes way too long to accomplish something very simple.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Eddie goes right for him and grabs a belly to back suplex to take over. A very fast tilt-a-whirl backbreaker looks to set up the frog splash but Kidman bails away and hits an enziguri. The BK Bomb gets two and the shooting star connects, only to have Chavo pull Kidman away. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason though and Eddie grabs a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Matt Hardy walks into Stephanie’s office to explain the concept of MF’ers (Mattitude Followers). She’s worried that he won’t be able to face Lesnar tonight but Matt is ready to go.

John Cena vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cena’s rap calls the Buccaneers a rather surprising slur which rhymes with beers. The announcers start talking about the Torrie/Dawn Marie footage as “Bling Bling Buchanan” gets in a few shots on the floor. Cena grabs a seated full nelson (it’s better than the same old chinlock over and over) but Palumbo fights up for the comeback. A belly to belly sets up the discus punch and Chuck heads to the top, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody and grab the trunks for the pin.

Chuck punches Cena out but gets hit by Buchanan’s change. Cue Rikishi for the save because THIS STORY IS STILL GOING!

We get a long, LONG recap of the build to Torrie/Dawn in the hotel room (same as the one from Sunday I believe) and then see about ten seconds, all of which we saw at the pay per view.

We get a sitdown interview with Torrie at her mom’s house in Idaho where she says she’s more proud than anything else. She’s willing to do anything for her father but he’s the one person she’s embarrassed her. As for being a sexual predator, she’s certainly a sexual person, but Dawn is going to find out what kind of a predator she can be. Cue Dawn and Al as Cole suggests that Al has no idea what’s going on. You mean getting to be with a woman WAY out of his league who doesn’t seem to mind being with him in exchange for tormenting his daughter? I still don’t quite get how Al is hurt in all this.

Anyway Dawn calls Torrie a nymphomaniac and says her relationship with Al is sacred. They never run out of things to say and enjoy their late night encounters. She’s never seen a more handsome and virile man than her “Al-sy Wal-sy.” The wedding will be here on Smackdown in two weeks. Torrie storms off because they deserve each other.

Raw Retro: Rock challenges Hogan. That’s one heck of a moment.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

This is over Brock throwing Matt, who has wrestled in 44 states, through a wall. However, Matt comes out holding his good eye and has Shannon Moore tagging along. We’ve got a substitution due to Matt getting something in his good eye, rendering him temporarily blind.

Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock wastes no time in belly to bellying Shannon OVER THE TOP AND DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR in one of the sickest landings you’ll ever see. Moore somehow doesn’t have a broken leg as he takes the F5 for the pin in less than a minute. Great bump to go with the complete destruction.

Blind Matt gets beaten down as well.

Stephanie tells Angle to clear this up or she’ll do it herself.

Here’s Angle to explain whatever it is that Stephanie was talking about. Angle talks about having integrity and if it were up to him, he’d face Angle and Benoit in the same night. He has a lot on his plate though and he needs good representation. That’s why he’s now represented by……Paul Heyman.

Paul comes out for a hug and says no one should be surprised by this. There was no way Lesnar was ever getting close to the title again and Heyman made sure of it. The plan started when Angle suggested he could get Lesnar’s suspension lifted and Heyman convinced Stephanie to let Brock come back. Angle played Lesnar like a violin (How?) and now the Angle vs. Lesnar match is postponed indefinitely.

Cue a livid Big Show to yell at Heyman and glare at Angle. Heyman says Show isn’t dumped because Show is still his favorite client. To make it up to him, Show can have a shot next week. Kurt isn’t happy but Heyman says it’s cool as long as either of them is champion. Just keep it away from Lesnar you see.

Ok……I need a minute on this one. So Heyman worked together with Show to get the title off of Lesnar and then signed Angle as an insurance policy to give him more leverage to keep the title away from Brock? Ok, fine. And Angle had to get Lesnar’s suspension lifted because Angle couldn’t beat Show on his own? If that’s not it, I have no idea why Lesnar had to be reinstated. Why would Heyman want him back in the first place?

I’m not really sure I get the idea. I guess Heyman thought Angle could beat Big Show so he bought Kurt off before he could, but Angle could only do it with Lesnar’s help? Show can beat an injured Lesnar with Heyman’s help but it takes Angle/Lesnar to beat Big Show? I’m probably missing something in there because this is already far beyond how complicated it needs to be. Just have Show vs. Lesnar go to a double DQ at Survivor Series and then do a triple threat so Angle can take the title from Show and announce Heyman’s plan after. Either way, it sets up an eventual Angle vs. Lesnar match and that’s just glorious sounding.

Bill DeMott/Crash vs. Jamie Noble/Nunzio

DeMott is teaming with Crash because he respects Hardcore Holly. Bill beats on Nunzio and then pulls Jamie in to beat on him as well. A release German suplex sends Noble flying and DeMott makes him tag Nunzio back in. Noble is thrown into Nunzio in the corner and a powerbomb sets up the moonsault to put Jamie away. Crash was never in. So Nunzio debuts one week and gets squashed the next by BILL DEMOTT. I’m so glad to know this show has a plan for everyone.

DeMott beats Crash down as well.

Edge is ready to beat up A-Train again tonight.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train charges straight at him to start but Edge slips out of a gorilla press. It’s already time to go after the knee though as A-Train lays on it and then grabs a half crab. Back up and Edge hits an enziguri followed by a missile dropkick due to the bad knee. The bicycle kick gives A-Train two and it’s right back to the half crab. The chokebomb is broken up and Edge spears him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was as good as A-Train doing half crabs for five minutes was going to be. I still don’t get the idea behind pushing him like this but it seems to be time for the big guys to get their pushes. Edge sold the leg well enough but there’s only so much he can do in a story like this.

Josh Matthews recaps Angle vs. Lesnar and it still doesn’t make a lot of sense. Lesnar comes in and says his state of mind is a good question.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit takes him to the mat for an early hammerlock and a very fast armdrag. They head outside with Benoit chasing him back inside for the first suplex. Angle gets in his own overhead belly to belly as the announcers marvel at Heyman’s brainwashing abilities. Heyman even gets in a belt shot to Benoit for two and it’s time to trade some chops. A chinlock keeps Benoit down for a bit and a release German suplex drops him again.

Angle is right backup but a double clothesline puts both guys down. It’s Benoit up first with the seven rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman to put his head in his hand, as if he knows there’s nothing that can be done at this point. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Big Show lumbers down for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Good match as usual but you could see the ending coming from a mile away. They’ve done this match too often lately though and it’s starting to get tiresome. It’s still entertaining but there are other options out there. Put Angle in there with Edge (because Heaven forbid we don’t get the A-Train match in there) or anyone else to save Benoit for later.

Lesnar runs in for some suplexes but gets beaten down as well to end the show. My only other thought here: Heyman reminds me of Louie De Palma in far too many ways.

Overall Rating: D. Really big step down here as this whole thing was about two stories with a few other matches filling in the rest of the time. The Heyman stuff is more complicated than it needs to be and the Dawn/Torrie stuff is clearly going nowhere. If you’re over fourteen years old here, you know you’re never going to see more than you saw at the pay per view and after that you have whatever disaster the wedding and ensuing match are going to be. This really wasn’t a good show and Smackdown should be better than what they did here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Armageddon 2002
Date: December 15, 2002
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In case you didn’t get this from the Raw’s leading up to this show, this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. It’s so much about them that we’re seeing them fight three times so HHH can win the title for the second time in just over three months. Oh and we might see Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie’s, ahem, home movie. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has Freddie Blassie quoting the Bible about Armageddon, followed by The End Is Here playing over shots of bombs and missiles. And various wrestlers of course. That’s not disturbing whatsoever.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Goldust/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Jericho and Christian are defending, Booker/Goldust are having issues believing they should keep teaming, the Dudleys are REALLY fired up to be here, Regal and Storm are on a roll and this is under elimination rules. Got all that? Storm forearms Bubba down and actually gets the better of a quick slugout, only to have Bubba shout DIE CANADIAN SCUM and hit a corner splash.

Goldust comes in to uppercut Regal but the champs take over in the corner. That goes nowhere either so Bubba comes in for some stereo Flip Flop and Flying into the Bionic elbows in a somewhat odd visual. Everything breaks down and Christian eats 3D but Regal tags himself in. A small package (and an ugly one at that) gets rid of the Dudleys (with JR not being clear on what happened), followed by a Goldust rollup to get rid of Storm and Regal to put us down to two. Or what it should have been in the first place without the extra five minutes being a waste of time.

The Hart Attack with the side kick instead of a clothesline drops Jericho with Christian making the save. Goldust misses a crossbody and falls to the floor, where Jericho sends him into the steps. We settle into the regular tag formula with Christian putting on an abdominal stretch, followed by a double stomping in the corner. JR explains the concept of cutting the ring off, which isn’t something you hear explained that often. Perhaps because it’s rarely done outside of a Revival match anymore.

Goldust finally catches christian in a sidewalk slam and it’s off to Booker with a very nice pop. The Walls are countered into a small package for two but the second attempt works better with Booker in a lot of trouble. Goldust comes in with a bulldog for the save, followed by crotching Christian on the top. A missile dropkick gives Booker two but Jericho gets in a belt shot. The Lionsault is good for two but Booker grabs the Book End for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. So the first two eliminations really didn’t need to happen and those teams could have been added to the show in their own match. Goldust and Booker FINALLY winning the titles is the right call and they went about as far as they could before getting the belts. I would have had Goldust get the win to prove he’s not the weak link but just getting the win is all they needed to do.

Booker tells Goldust that he’s not a weak link.

Brock Lesnar asks Josh Matthews who he is and says he’ll make an impact in the Big Show vs. Kurt Angle match.

Edge vs. A-Train

Edge has a bad knee coming in and is here to defend Rey Mysterio’s honor. A-Train shoves him into the corner to start before catching a crossbody with ease. Thankfully Edge tries to speed things up, only to get shoved into the barricade for his efforts. A charge only hits post though as the fast start continues. Back in and A-Train gets two off a powerslam before it’s off to the chinlock less than four minutes in. Edge makes his comeback as this is feeling more and more like a TV match every second.

The half nelson faceplant gives Edge two and the announcers keep calling A-Train Albert. A super spinning Edge-o-Matic gets two (with Edge pulling the trunks WAY too far up in the front) but A-Train bicycle kicks him out of the air for two. It’s chair time but Edge gets in a baseball slide to knock it away. The chokebomb gives A-Train two and the spear gives Edge the same, only to have A-Train chair Edge in the knee for the pitiful DQ.

Rating: D-. I really need more from this on a pay per view as this felt like the match to set up the pay per view rematch. A-Train just hitting him in the knee for the ending doesn’t work and certainly doesn’t help him. Unless Edge is taking time off thanks to a big post match attack, I really don’t get this one.

There’s a post match attack, but it’s Edge unloading on A-Train with the chair as his knee looks fine. What in the world was the point of this?

Big Show wants to go yell at Stephanie but Heyman talks him out of it, making Stephanie sound like a mob boss who would have Show sleeping with the fishes if he dared cross her. Heyman promises to take care of things.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

The announcers basically call this a #1 contenders match though that’s not official. Eddie takes him to the mat and works on the leg as we hear about their very long history together. It’s off to a headlock on Benoit, who manages to tie their legs together to keep Eddie in check. A suplex sets up a chinlock on Guerrero but he reverses into a shortarm scissors as they’re keeping it on the mat so far.

Benoit powers out in that Bob Backlund display that looks less impressive every time a smaller guy does it. Eddie keeps it on the mat with a headscissors and the fans think it’s boring. I’m sorry they’re not big, bald and hairy but try to let something fresh into your wrestling minds people. Eddie sends him outside for a good looking dive before working on Benoit’s knee back inside.

A variety of leglocks have Benoit screaming in pain but he finally pops up for the rolling German suplexes. Benoit gets all the way to seven before Eddie reverses into four German suplexes of his own. The frog splash is good for two and Eddie gives a great stunned look. They both fall out to the floor with Eddie getting back in first, allowing Chavo to run out with a belt shot to the back of Benoit’s head. That’s only good for two as well, more or less guaranteeing that Benoit is winning here.

A modified Lasso From El Paso sends Benoit straight to the ropes, allowing him to pop up with a heck of a powerbomb. More Chavo interference fails and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, which Eddie mostly no sells for another Lasso. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface. Eddie goes for the ropes so Benoit switches arms and rolls into the middle of the ring to make Guerrero tap.

Rating: A-. Were you expecting this to be anything other than great? You have two guys this talented and this familiar with each other with over sixteen minutes on pay per view so of course it’s the likely match of the night. I know they can do this stuff in tag matches but it’s refreshing to have them just do a great singles match. Benoit was the pretty clear winner here but Eddie was more than up to the task here. That switching of arms at the end made Benoit look even better though and he more than deserves a title shot at this point.

Paul Heyman comes in to Stephanie’s office and talks about how much he’d love to sign Benoit. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it because Lesnar’s suspension is already lifted. They talk about the integrity of the title with Stephanie saying we’ll have to wait and see what Lesnar does tonight. This has been a commercial for the show you’ve already paid for.

Long recap of Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Dawn decided to marry Torrie’s dad, presumably to get to Torrie. It turned out that she just wanted to sleep with Torrie so she offered to call off the marriage for one night for her. Of course it was filmed and Dawn is threatening to show the tape tonight because Torrie enjoyed it. That would be the worst thing ever for some reason you see.

Here are Dawn and Al, who has no issue with any of this for some reason. Or maybe he’s miserable. You never can tell with him. Anyway Dawn recaps things again and says Torrie isn’t here tonight before showing the footage. After seeing everything we saw on Smackdown (twice now) before we get to the new stuff. Dawn gives her champagne and eats a strawberry before unzipping Torrie’s leather jacket revealing…..pretty much the same kind of outfit Torrie would wrestle in.

Dawn takes off Torrie’s skirt to leave Torrie in her lingerie before taking off her own robe. She whispers that men can’t give Torrie what she can. They kiss and Torrie seems to be getting into it but Dawn says freeze the footage. She tells Al that we’re going to keep going so we see more kissing before Al stops it for good. Dawn promises they can make their own tape to make up for it and we’re done. This ate up about ten minutes and was every bit the waste of time you would expect it to be.

Kane vs. Batista

Batista has Ric Flair in his corner but gets dropped by an early neckbreaker. An elbow gives Kane two but Batista hot shots him onto the ropes. Kane fights back but gets sent outside where he beats up Flair for fun. Back in and Kane boots the rookie down but the top rope clothesline misses. The Batista Bomb doesn’t work though and Kane hits him low for a rather heelish move. The spinebuster gives Batista two but he walks into a chokeslam. Flair comes in for a distraction though, allowing the Batista Bomb to put Kane away.

Rating: D-. This wasn’t just a bad match but it felt like it belonged on a TV show instead of a pay per view. Batista looked lost for the most part with the fans giving up on the match after he couldn’t pick Kane up for the powerbomb. On top of that it was basically a handicap match with Flair involved, which makes for a really bad use of time.

Here are John Cena and B Squared (yes Squared again instead of Two) to rap about how awesome they are and how it doesn’t matter who they tick off. Marcia Brady is mentioned as well. This took less than two minutes.

We recap the women’s triple threat match. Victoria took the title from Trish Stratus at Survivor Series and then Jacqueline beat Victoria in a non-title match on Raw because SHE’S FROM TEXAS AND ALL TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. Now we’re having a triple threat for the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie being sent outside as Jerry wonders if Victoria is horizontally accessible. A superplex drops Trish with Jackie stealing two as you can hear JR getting annoyed at Lawler’s jokes. The challengers make a wish on Victoria’s legs and send her outside, leaving Trish to hit a neckbreaker on Jackie. The Chick Kick drops Jackie again but Trish takes WAY too long covering, followed by a slow count, which really screams blown save. Victoria grabs the title and hits Trish, setting up the pin on Jackie to retain.

Rating: D+. They were trying here but Jackie didn’t need to be involved and the timing really hurt things here. Trish vs. Victoria is one of the better feuds they’ve had in a long time but they’ve pretty much reached the peak of the feud. We’re pretty much just waiting for Lita to come back at this point and that makes things a bit hard to sit through.

Victoria steals Trish’s hat.

Angle keeps trying to convince Lesnar to be in his corner, including promising him retribution if Brock joins him. We see the end of the Survivor Series title match but Lesnar still won’t say anything.

We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. There isn’t much to talk about though as Show won the title four weeks ago and Angle won a four way to earn the title shot. Lesnar was suspended for a few weeks in a side angle that added absolutely nothing to this, aside from giving us more Stephanie TV time.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

Angle is challenging and there’s no Brock to start, meaning he’ll be the official run-in. Show easily tosses him down to start so Angle tries a front facelock. That just earns him a toss over the top and right onto Heyman, but the distraction allows Angle to dump Show out to the floor. Back in and Show continues his dominance with a clothesline and suplex as Angle can’t get anything going so far.

The match is so one sided that Cole gets to list off all of Big Show’s measurements that you’ve probably memorized over the years. The Final Cut gets two as the fans chant USA with Tazz pointing out that Big Show is an American too. We hit the bearhug that you knew was coming until Angle bites his way out. Angle chokes him down and gets most of a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Tazz: “Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle right now!”. That line still drives me crazy and it’s even worse when they’re both down.

Angle dropkicks the leg out and a good looking missile dropkick gives Kurt two. The moonsault press only has Angle’s feet hit Show in the head and the Angle Slam is good for two. The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and the kickoff sends Angle into the referee. You can see a lot of the crowd looking towards the entrance as the Brock chants start up. Heyman throws in a chair which goes upside Show’s head for two with the kickout wiping the referee out again. Cue A-Train to break up the ankle lock but here’s Brock to F5 Show to give Angle the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was watchable because they had Big Show laying around for about a third of the match but it could have been FAR worse. At least they did the smart thing by giving the title to one of the hot acts who can have a great match with just about anyone, thereby opening the doors to a ton of fresh opponents, including Lesnar down the line. It’s not good but this could have been a disaster, so we’ll call this a success.

Rob Van Dam is at the World and picks Shawn to win.

Long recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They hate each other, they beat each other up, now it’s three matches for the price of one because we need that much HHH in our lives. This is 2/3 falls with the first fall being a street fight, the second being a cage match and the third being a ladder match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and HHH’s right quad, as in the leg that he didn’t tear, is taped up. Shawn has that weird sleeves made of mirrors thing that he wore at the 1997 Royal Rumble. To be fair he’s the only one who could pull that off. Before the bell, the referee ejects Flair because THIS IS THE KIND OF IMPORTANT MATCH THAT NEEDS TO BE FAIR!

Shawn hammers away to start and skins the cat before baseball sliding HHH into the barricade. A plancha misses though (with HHH not really moving so I’m not sure what Shawn was aiming at, save for maybe a trashcan that HHH had pulled out) and HHH is limping less than two minutes in. Shawn’s second dive hits the trashcan (at least it was from the ropes instead of over them so it was a different spot) but HHH can’t follow up.

Instead Shawn grabs a table but has a trashcan kicked into his face. HHH’s limping is getting worse and since this is getting AT LEAST half an hour, we could be in for a very long night. HHH sets up a second table next to the one Shawn loaded up but gets suplexed back inside for two. The jumping knee with the bad leg knocks HHH down as well and I get more and more worried about how bad this could get.

It’s time to start in on Shawn’s back but Shawn gets in a side slam to drive HHH through the chair in a smart counter. They head outside again with Shawn working on the back despite THE BIG BANDAGE ON HHH’S LEG. Even Lawler is pointing out the lapse in thinking so you know it’s bad. HHH blocks the superkick and twists the knee around, meaning they’re both working on the others injured body part. A chop block sets up the standing Flair working on the leg package, capped off by the Figure Four.

Shawn turns it over after nearly two minutes in the hold so HHH goes with a trashcan lid to the head for two instead. They head up the aisle with HHH sending him into the set before finding the barbed wire 2×4. HHH isn’t done though as he lights it on fire first. Shawn takes it away though and hits HHH with it, drawing some blood. It had better given that it’s a flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire.

Back to the ring with HHH on his feet despite being hit in the head with something that should have killed him. HHH plays Raven with a drop toehold to send Shawn into an open chair but the Pedigree is countered with a low blow. Not that it matters as HHH hits the bad knee and gets the Pedigree for the first fall.

The cage is lowered and it’s pinfall or escape (I’m assuming Fink forgot to say submission but JR doesn’t say it either). Before the cage is all the way down, HHH throws in some more weapons, including a table and chair. One heck of a chair shot knocks Shawn sillier and the table is set up in the corner. Shawn gets catapulted into the cage and both guys are busted. The pace gets even slower and Shawn hammers away with right hands. They fight up to the top of the cage and here’s Flair back at ringside because why not.

Ric sets up two more tables on top of the original two as they slug it out on the top without much going on. There’s no big crash though as they go back inside with HHH getting crotched on the ropes. The top rope elbow seems to suggest that Shawn’s knee is much better in a hurry….and Flair is in the cage because the referee is incompetent. Shawn cuts him off and chairs both guys in the head, naturally making Flair bleed as well.

With Shawn beating up Flair, HHH walks away from the open door (some cerebral assassin) and it’s back to back superkicks to drop the villains. The stupidity continues as Shawn doesn’t cover or run out of the cage but rather sets up another table (that would be five I believe). A splash off the top of the cage drives HHH through the wood and ties things up. So now it’s a ladder match with both guys basically dead.

A very bloody Flair is helped out as the cage is raised and Shawn gets a ladder. Various ladder shots (which Lawler says is like being hit by a car) have HHH in even more trouble and Shawn suplexes him onto the ladder for good measure. The ladder is set up in the corner but Shawn misses the huge splash, landing right on his face.

HHH gets in a weird Pedigree as he has to stretch the bad leg out so it doesn’t slam into the mat. The fans are busy looking at something in the crowd as HHH makes the slow climb. That’s broken up but Shawn’s slow climb is countered with a shove through the tables, allowing HHH to climb up and regain the title.

Rating: C-. This is a really, really hard one to grade but let’s get the big problem out of the way first: there was no reason to have this be more than one fall. Either do a street fight (which was boring but watchable) or one of the other two but the whole three falls thing was ridiculous with the ladder match not even breaking eight minutes. The cage match was basically a continuation of the street fight with just one attempt at escaping, plus Flair just walking into the cage, making it a complete waste of time. HHH looked horrible out there but Heaven forbid we don’t cater to him, bad leg or not.

There’s a good match in there somewhere, but it only works with HHH on two good legs. On top of that, this needed to be cut in half. It’s just under forty minutes total and easily could have been about twenty with every bit as much effect. Shawn looked passable but old, which isn’t exactly the best combination in the world. The match could have been better but with what they were going for here, it’s a pretty hard disappointment. In other words, cut out HHH’s ego and it’s probably far better.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty solid surprise with a few good matches (and one great one) but there’s also a lot of really bad stuff dragging that right back down. The Dawn and Torrie stuff really started bringing the show down as it’s not only stupid but fairly worthless to anyone with the internet at that point. You can see almost anything you want so two women in lingerie isn’t quite enough.

The problem is the rest of the show takes a big dip after that with the best match probably being Angle vs. Big Show, mainly due to it not being forty five minutes counting intros. The first half of the show is better but it hits a hard wall and there’s really no recovering from that point on. I was expecting a disaster though so this was a good bit better than I thought I’d get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 5, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting close to the end of the year and thankfully there are no turkeys involved this week. However there’s still Big Show, who can indeed be put in the F5 and chokeslams people through tables. Hopefully we get to see some more of the young guys being pushed, which would do Smackdown a lot of good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video points out that Stephanie McMahon is in charge and you better understand that. She suspended Brock Lesnar last week but he screwed himself you see.

Opening sequence.

Albert vs. Rey Mysterio

Albert has been stuck on Velocity lately and is ready to turn some heads. Fair enough, but will those heads be 8 3/8 inches? Mysterio kicks at the leg to start but gets caught in a good looking sitout gorilla press slam. Back up and Albert charges into a boot, followed by a springboard bulldog for two. The 619 connects but the West Coast Pop is countered into an over the shoulder backbreaker to give Albert the huge upset. Well…..I know they need new stars but ALBERT? They couldn’t have Benoit or Angle do this and then move on to face Lesnar? They use Albert for it instead? Uh…..yeah.

Post match Alberto beats Rey’s knee with chair, likely writing him off TV to repair an injury, until Edge makes a save.

Bill DeMott rants about being interviewed by Funaki, who can barely speak English.

Edge yells at the medics for not taking care of Mysterio fast enough.

Here’s Stephanie to brag about throwing herself at Scott Steiner in the name of getting him to sign with Smackdown. It’s worked though as Steiner will be here next week to sign. As for tonight, Lesnar is still suspended but he’ll get to appear via satellite to give his side of the story. At least Stephanie is now a heel and supposed to be obnoxious and mean.

Jamie Noble vs. Crash

Nidia jumps in on commentary as Jamie takes Crash down for an early two. Noble works him over in the corner and Nidia doesn’t want to talk about Jamie’s cousin Nunzio. Crash comes back with a clothesline and Bodog but stops to kiss Nidia. The distraction lets Jamie load up the Tiger Bomb, only to be reversed into the Crash Landing (Styles Clash) for the pin. Now that’s how you make a losing streak stick: a clean loss to a low level contender.

Jamie says Nunzio gets here next week.

Chris Benoit gives one heck of an interview about how his whole life has been about becoming World Champion but the broken neck held him back. This is edited off the Network, which is understandable, though annoying if you really want everything.

Dawn Marie comes up to Torrie and gets straight to the point: she wants Torrie instead of her dad. If she comes to Dawn’s hotel room tonight, the wedding is over. Torrie looks disturbed and says no way. Dawn asks how much Torrie loves her father and the wheels seem to be turning. This would have worked better if the acting was a bit higher and if it came off as sexy rather than stalkerish.

One thing here: what exactly is hurt by Al marrying Dawn? He’ll be with someone WAY out of his league and seems to be happy. Is she going to take what is likely very limited money? Or just leave him? Or is it just to torment Torrie into sleeping with her? I really don’t see how Al is hurt in this whole thing, assuming Dawn doesn’t try to swindle him somehow.

Funaki vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott has Marc Mero’s music. Funaki gets taken down and stomped a lot as the announcers recap how horrible DeMott’s career has been. Choking with some screaming has Funaki in trouble, followed by a powerslam and the moonsault for the pin. Just a squash with DeMott basically having the same character and motivation as Albert.

Los Guerreros are ready to win their matches tonight and make Grandma Guerrero proud. That should be everyone’s mission in life really.

We get the Lesnar sitdown interview and he got what he deserved for working with Paul Heyman. He heard Stephanie say that Lesnar screwed himself…..and here are Heyman and Big Show to interrupt. Heyman compares Lesnar to a child that needed a spanking and who better than Big Show to administer one? The two of them screwed Lesnar and loved it. If they could go back in time to the week before Survivor Series, they would do it all over again. After some plugs of tonight’s four way #1 contenders match, Lesnar promises to be at Armageddon.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kidman is defending. A fan in the crowd has a sign saying the Guerreros will mow your lawn for a green card. As stupid as that is, Cole tops it by saying “Brock Lesnar has said he’ll be at Armageddon in person, whatever that means.” Kidman grabs a hurricanrana to start but gets caught in a gutbuster to give Chavo the real early control. Some shots to the kidneys set up an abdominal stretch but a Gory Bomb is countered into a rollup.

Kidman’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two and the BK Bomb is good for the same. They head up top at the same time for the big crash out to the floor and we have a bit of a breather. Back in and Kidman misses the Shooting Star, setting up the Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Kidman comes right back with something like a reverse implant DDT, followed by the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: C+. The rib work didn’t go anywhere but it was nice to see Kidman getting some time instead of being thrown out there for three minutes before finishing with his one big move. Kidman can be a fine champion and a good choice for someone to take the title from later on so this is the right way to build him up.

Edge wants to become #1 contender but wants to get his hands on Albert too. He’s not entirely focused you see. Edge charges across the backstage and goes after Albert until referees break it up.

And now, a hip hop challenge between John Cena and Rikishi. They both rap and Rikishi wins the fan vote. An attack ensues but Rikishi and Tazz (hosting) easily fight off Cena and B Two. Dancing ensues and I have no idea how this helps anyone other than Rikishi.

Angle is ready for the main event.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Elimination rules and the winner gets Big Show at Armageddon. Before we’re ready to go though, Albert jumps Edge and takes out his knee. After everyone else is ready to go, Edge slowly limps down to the ring to have all four in the ring at once. The match is joined in progress after a break with Edge backdropping and flapjacking anyone he sees (save for the referee, commentators and fans of course) until Benoit and Angle start going after the leg.

Angle and Eddie head outside, leaving Benoit to stay on the bad knee. The half nelson faceplant gives Edge a breather but Eddie throws both of them outside. Eddie misses the frog splash and gets hit by the Swan Dive for two. The Edgecution gets two on Benoit, who pops up and Crossfaces Eddie for the elimination.

Angle is right there with the rolling German suplexes on Benoit but Edge comes back with the missile dropkick on Kurt. The knee is banged up again though and it’s Angle on his feet first. The Angle Slam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic but Benoit breaks it up with a Crossface on Edge which is broken up by an ankle lock. We get a ref bump so here’s Eddie with a belt shot to Benoit. Edge adds a spear to get rid of Chris and we’re down to two.

Kurt is right back up with the ankle lock though and Edge somehow lasts the better part of a minute. They both fall to the floor in a crash and we take a break. Back with Angle clotheslining a bloody Edge, who hammers away with right hands in the corner. That just earns him an overhead belly to belly as Angle turns it up one more notch. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Edge comes back with his own belly to belly.

Another Edge-O-Matic gets two as the announcers are selling the heck out of that bad knee. Angle rolls some more German suplexes but Edge, with his thong sticking out, gets a spear for two more. The Edgecution gets another near fall as the fans are losing their minds on these kickouts.

Edge actually blocks the corner running superplex and hits another missile dropkick. The Angle Slam gets two and the kickout only makes Kurt more angry. Edge rolls through the ankle lock for a hot two and it’s right back to the ankle lock. A rope is finally grabbed and Edge hits his own Angle Slam for two more. He takes too long getting up top though and the running Angle Slam FINALLY puts Edge away to give Angle the title shot.

Rating: A. I remember watching this match when it aired live and thinking it was amazing. While I remember it differently (I would have sworn that Edge came out halfway through the match and that the first two eliminations took the better part of fifteen minutes), it’s still an outstanding back and forth battle with the last seven or eight minutes being incredible. Angle and Edge were trading bomb after bomb with Edge finally getting caught at the end. Edge looked like a star here and….is going to be facing Albert at the pay per view. But that’s for another time as this was a great match and well worth checking out.

Big Show is IMMEDIATELY there to chokeslam Angle and stand tall.

We cut to Torrie going into Dawn’s hotel room. Dawn is waiting on her wearing a robe and sipping a glass of wine. Torrie looks very uncomfortable as Dawn tucks back her hair and says how much Torrie must love her father. If Torrie does everything Dawn wants, the wedding is off. Torrie goes to leave but Dawn says that means Torrie doesn’t love her father. That’s enough to get Torrie to stay and we’re out. I was rather intrigued by this when I was younger for obvious reasons but now…..egads. The fact that you know nothing is going to make TV and the payoff is Dawn vs. Torrie tells you everything you need to know.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries the week but we’re looking down the barrel of Albert, Rikishi, Bill DeMott and Big Show as some of the top stars of this show. I’m not sure why they would go that route when they have Edge, Benoit and Los Guerreros sitting there but WWE never was one to go with what people seemed interested in seeing. Above all else though, this show toned the Stephanie stuff down by a few thousand notches and it was much easier watch as a result. Good show this week but the future is looking scary.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

What can WWE do while Lesnar is gone?  Quite a bit actually.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-beasts-away-wwe-can-still-play/