Impact Wrestling – March 22, 2016: A Microcosm Of TNA

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s a new era in TNA (yes another one) as Drew Galloway won the World Title last week from Matt Hardy. Other than that we’re near the beginning of the final taping cycle for Eric Young and Bobby Roode so it should be interesting to see what happens to them before they leave. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events that led to the new World Champion last week.

Here’s Drew for his first speech as World Champion. He’s worked a long time to get here and now he wants to be the kind of champion who brings this company back to where it once was. Drew doesn’t care what it takes because he’ll use this title to bring honor back to TNA. Cue Matt Hardy with Rockstar Spud and Reby to call Drew a cheating thief. Drew talks about being at a great after party last week after winning the title. He didn’t steal a thing because he took the title by capitalizing on the chaos.

Matt promises that the Matt Hardy Brand (Is that the stable name?) will destroy Drew. The champ is ready to fight so here is Jeff to say he’s at the front of the line for the first title shot. That’s just fine with Drew who says Jeff can have a title shot if he’d like one. Matt wants Jeff to get back on his dirt bike and break the rest of his limbs. Cue Eric Young and Bram (because of course) to beat Jeff down. The Matt Hardy Brand (yes that’s the official name it seems) works on Drew. A table is loaded up and we take a break.

Back with the villains still in control and beating on the good guys until Ethan Carter III makes the save with a chair. Carter says we’re not having a punch party without inviting EC3. Drew gets up and Carter says he’s definitely a deserving champion, but he (Ethan) was never pinned for it. The challenge is laid out and Drew immediately accepts. This brings out Mike Bennett and Maria with Bennett saying he pinned Drew last week and deserves the shot. Drew is willing to fight them all so here’s Dixie to announce a gauntlet match between the Hardys, Bennett, Carter and presumably Young.

Been Money lists off various former teams who might be answering their open challenge tonight. The shots at Pacman Jones are kind of funny.

It’s time to draw for the gauntlet match order. Bennett goes first and promises to beat the best TNA has to offer to become World Champion. He seems happy with his number.

Here’s Beer Money to issue an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles with a surprise team answering.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. BroMans

Sure why not. Robbie runs Roode over to start but it’s quickly off to Storm as the announcers talk about the BroMans by mentioning the World Title Series. Jesse comes in for some lockups with Storm as the challengers (and heels I guess) take over on James in the corner. A clothesline is enough to bring in Roode for the house cleaning, including a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. The Bro Attack (formerly known as the BroDown) gets two on Roode but a Last Call into the DWI is enough for the pin on Robbie to retain at 5:38.

Rating: C. Match was fine but it’s very telling that with the Wolves out and Decay defeated for the time being, it’s already time to start putting old teams back together. This division hasn’t actually been a division for years now and it’s getting clearer and clearer every single month. Hopefully this lasts more than one week.

Decay says……something about hurting Davey Richards.

Eric Young says Bram’s spot is by his side and both guys seem happy about their numbers. Young again thinks someone is stalking him.

Eddie Edwards vs. Crazzy Steve

No DQ. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Eddie getting the better of it until Abyss offers a distraction so Steve can get in a few shots from behind. A running Cannonball against the steps crushes Eddie again and it’s time to actually head inside. Rosemary sends in a bunch of chairs for a Raven drop toehold into the steel. More chairs are wedged into the corners but Steve is sent head first into several of them. Rosemary finally pulls the referee out at two so Eddie sends Steve into her, setting up a rollup for the pin at 6:49.

Rating: D+. I get the idea behind the Decay but they really don’t do much for me. Yeah they’re the latest creepy stable and that’s fine but it’s really nothing I’m going to get excited about. Eddie needs to move on to the X-Division to breathe some life into it so hopefully this Decay feud doesn’t go anywhere.

Maria talks about how Gail Kim as Knockouts Champion hasn’t changed a thing. A revelation is promised.

Dixie Carter seems to put Lashley in the gauntlet match.

Jeff Hardy is ready to draw when Ethan comes in. Ethan draws #1 but we don’t see what Jeff’s number is.

Knockouts Title: Maria vs. Gail Kim

Maria is challenging but before the bell she talks about how she’s been granted something by TNA management. Before that’s announced though, she has some special guests: the Dollhouse. Maria talks about how the Dollhouse has had a bunch of leaders over the months but nothing special has ever come of it. That means it’s time for the Dollhouse to split up because only little girls play with dolls. Marti Belle gets in her face and says no way but Maria offers a title shot to the winner of a triple threat between the Dollhouse. Gail is fine with this and just leaves.

Marti Belle vs. Jade vs. Rebel

The match starts after a break with Maria on commentary. Rebel gets double teamed in slow motion before getting kicked down in a High/Low. As expected the other two get in a fight over who gets the fall before putting on a double half crab. Maria continues her borderline creepy talk about reaching potential as Rebel gets knocked down again, allowing Jade and Marti to take over. Marti electric chairs Jade off the top and all three are down. Then, in something we haven’t seen yet, Rebel gets laid out so the other two can fight. Jade Rock Bottoms Marti onto Rebel for the pin at 6:29, though that should be Marti pinning Rebel.

Rating: D. This felt like it went on forever though it did a good job at making Maria look like the most interesting Knockout in years. There’s something about her that just gets your attention and that’s exactly what the division has been lacking. Gail really isn’t interesting and it’s LONG past time for something fresh.

The Matt Hardy Brand draws their numbers as Matt claims conspiracy. He winds up with the best number though.

We recap Grado winning the ladder match last week.

Grado is excited about a party next week but Mahabali Shera is annoyed that Odarg left without paying him back $50. Grado accidentally pulls out an Odarg mask but Shera is too stupid to notice.

Gauntlet Match

Before the match, Drew says there’s too much talking tonight. A-freaking men brother but what do you mean tonight? With him as champion, you can expect a lot more action because he’s heading to the back so we can have this match. This brings out Lashley to congratulate Drew, drawing a NO MORE TALKING chant. Lashley is in the gauntlet match because he wants that title shot too. Ethan Carter III finally cuts them off as entrant #2.

This is basically a mini Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations which at least saves us from some bad falls. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get a hiptoss so Carter nails a running shoulder. There’s the Stinger Splash in the corner and Carter hammers away until Spud comes in at #3. The heels start double teaming Carter for a few minutes until Bennett comes in at #4 (complete with Maria back in the same dress she was in earlier and not the pink outfit she was in during the match).

Carter goes right after Bennett but gets taken out by Spud as Eric Young is in at #5. There are still no eliminations as they mostly stand around and do little shots to each other. Tyrus is in at #6 to give us five heels at once. Unfortunately he takes so long getting to the ring that Spud gets tossed by Carter as we take a break.

Back with Bram in as well and Lashley spearing Bennett down to be the only man left standing. Tyrus is tossed to clear the ring a bit, followed by Bram kneeing Young by mistake to get rid of him. Lashley spears Bram and throws him out, leaving Lashley, Carter and Bennett in the ring. This brings Pope off commentary to throw Lashley out, which of course counts. Carter saves Pope from Lashley and clotheslines him over the top for a more legitimate elimination. That allows Pope to fight Lashley up the ramp until Matt Hardy is in at #8.

Bennett and Hardy start double teaming Carter until Jeff Hardy comes in at #9. The fans chant for Hardy, which may or may not be a very sudden shift in support for Matt. These are the final four, which we’re told a few moments into the fight because there was no indication that Jeff was the final entrant. Carter backdrops Bennett out but Bennett grabs his hand, allowing Matt to get the elimination.

We’re down to Hardy vs. Hardy with Matt taking over and dropping a bunch of legdrops. The Side Effect has Jeff in more trouble but he comes back with a whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick. Matt gets in a Twist of Fate but can’t send Jeff to the floor, allowing Jeff to backdrop him out for the title shot at 23:50.

Rating: C+. This match is a microcosm of TNA in a nutshell: they have all these interesting stories and ideas with potential to do something new but it’s all about the Hardys. Whether you like it or not, it has been determined that you’re getting Matt vs. Jeff and that’s all there is to it. Not a bad match or anything but Matt vs. Jeff really isn’t interesting and I can’t imagine that’s the last we’ll be seeing of it.

Drew applauds Jeff to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C. Not the worst show in the world here but the key is the potential. Drew Galloway and Maria Kanellis seem like the real deal but that’s been the case far too many times in the past for me to get my hopes up. The other problem is of course TNA’s taping cycle and how they’re going to replace all this departing talent. They need some new signings in a hurry or this could get a lot worse very fast. Good building show this week, but those Hardys need to be kept apart.

Results

Beer Money b. BroMans – DWI to Robbie

Eddie Edwards b. Crazzy Steve – Rollup

Jade b. Marti Belle and Rebel – Rock Bottom to Marti

Jeff Hardy won a gauntlet match last eliminating Matt Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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TNA One Night Only – World Cup Of Wrestling III: Someone Get Me JBL

TNA World Cup of Wrestling III
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

Dang it I knew I’d get back to these one day. For some reason (likely because no one likes them) these are getting harder and harder to find online and the best I can do is usually two and a half months after the air date. In this case it’s another team competition, which is usually one of the better ideas they have. There will be four teams of six wrestlers each. All of the teams are going to face each other once, plus a four way with each of the captains. The teams with the most points (1 point per win) meet in an elimination tag for the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

No opening video for a change.

It’s time for Jeremy Borash to waste a lot of time by holding the live draft. We open with the introductions of the four captains:

Bobby Roode

Eric Young

Ethan Carter III

Jeff Hardy

Josh rips on JB for reading off a clipboard but praises Carter despite him carrying one of his own. Also ignore the part where Josh says Carter will make a great World Champion, despite winning the title a month before this aired. ALSO ignore the fact that Hardy was out with a broken leg three months before this aired.

We keep wasting time with an opening statement from each captain. Ethan (with his arm in the big brace) says he’s been thinking about his loss last year at the World Cup and he can’t wait to make it up. Young doesn’t want to hear from the fans because he won this last year. Roode and Hardy keep it more simple by saying they’ll win.

Now here’s the thing: it’s going to take a LONG time to get through the picks so I’m not going to say “this person picked this person” step by step. Instead, here are the teams in full with the captains listed first:

Bobby Roode, Lashley, Austin Aries, Magnus, Mr. Anderson, Taryn Terrell

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, James Storm, Awesome Kong, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E.

Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, Havok, Samuel Shaw, Manik

Jeff Hardy, Gunner, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Rockstar Spud

There were only two funny bits here: Carter picked Jeremy Borash first. Carter: “Just kidding it’s Tyrus.” Second, when Robbie came out, he danced around, kissed Kong, and shouted I’M NOT LAST!!! Also Josh thought Roode was going to pick Hornswoggle when he said from Green Bay, Wisconsin. As usual, Josh isn’t funny.

The picks are done but JB says the opening match still isn’t ready to start.

Quick rules explanation.

Bram vs. Austin Aries

The first opening bell: 28 minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours and twelve minutes to get through ten matches. Aries is quickly dumped out to the floor and sent into the barricade as the announcers are actually still on topic. I give it ten minutes. Aries gets smart by taking out the knee as Josh is showing JB a photo of him at Manchester United’s stadium. Dang they didn’t even make it three minutes.

The Last Chancery sends Bram going to the ropes for a break and things settle down again. Bram stomps on the chest to break up a sunset flip attempt as about four fans chant ANGRY JESUS. Off to a chinlock on Aries for a bit before he grabs a second Last Chancery. So the first one was the next to Last Chancery?

Back up and Aries goes to the apron to send Bram face first into alternating buckles over and over. A missile dropkick sets up the running corner dropkick but Bram gets a boot up for a block. An Edge-O-Matic gets two for Bram and he starts pounding on Aries’ back for good measure. Bram slowly kicks at him and is quickly rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match until a pretty slow ending. Aries continues to be one of the best acts in the company’s history and of course he’s now gone because they decided to keep going with Angle and Hardy on top instead of going back to him in the years since he lost the title.

Team Roode – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

EC3 lists off the members of his team and promises to win. Kong looks terrified when the BroMans (with DJZ) start talking. This is even more filler.

James Storm vs. Lashley

Storm has Khoya (Mahabali Shera) with him. Feeling out process to start with Storm dropping down for some pushups. He can’t throw Lashley around though so James bails to the floor and meets with Khoya. The instructions seem to work as Khoya grabs the leg, sending Lashley outside after him. That’s about it for the success as Lashley shoulders Storm down inside and rams him into the buckle a few times.

Khoya blocks a spear attempt and Storm finally takes over with a Backstabber. Storm’s enziguri starts a bad cowbell chant but Lashley fires off right hands to make his comeback. Neither finisher can hit and Storm gets two off a neckbreaker. A spinebuster should set up Lashley’s spear but another Khoya distraction….doesn’t matter as the spear connects to give Lashley the win.

Rating: D+. Now we’re getting into the standard One Night Only match formula: short matches that don’t have time to go anywhere and have no heat on them because they’re part of some big show long idea, meaning this really doesn’t mean a ton. You can feel the lack of caring in the crowd though and it’s not a good sign going forward.

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

Storm blames Khoya for the loss and demands that Khoya bow to him.

Roode thinks his team will win.

BroMans vs. Magnus/Mr. Anderson

Jesse and Magnus get things going with Magnus taking over off a wristlock. Anderson comes in and works on the arm as well until it’s off to Robbie, who walks into a hiptoss. The announcers debate game shows as Magnus gets two off a suplex. Some heel double teaming lets Jesse take over and he actually wins a slugout against Magnus. As you might expect, the announcers spent the segment trying to figure out what to call Magnus and Mickie James.

Robbie chinlocks Magnus for a bit before some elbows to the BroMans’ faces allow for the tag to Anderson. I can’t really call it hot as the fans didn’t seem to notice but it was in fact a tag. Everything breaks down but DJZ distracts the referee. Anderson goes after him and gets hairspray in the eyes, allowing Robbie to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Worst match of the show so far but a lot of that is due to Anderson and Magnus having gone through the motions for the last year (or several years in Anderson’s case). That being said, the ending makes sense as former World Tag Team Champions should be able to beat a thrown together team with no history.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Young says his team will win.

Manik/Abyss vs. Rockstar Spud/Davey Richards

This could be decent. Davey and Manik trade some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Spud vs. Abyss. Spud goes right at him and has about as much success as you might expect. A middle rope forearm staggers Abyss but Spud has to bite his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Spud actually puts him down with a missile dropkick and Abyss looks stunned.

Manik tags himself in and gets punched out, only to have Abyss run both good guys over. It’s Spud in trouble now as JB talks about James Storm’s stable. Davey leads a KILL SPUD KILL chant as the Revolution guys take turns on chinlocks. The announcers make their picks for the whole competition. I’m kind of stunned that they’ve stayed on topic this long.

Spud crawls through Manik’s legs to make the tag off to Davey for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Everything breaks down and the giant is sent to the floor, allowing Davey and Spud to double team Manik in the corner. Abyss takes a suicide dive from Davey, leaving Spud to hit the Underdog on Manik. A top rope double stomp gives Davey the easy pin.

Rating: C. Very simple idea here but the match worked well enough all around. Richards and Spud were a good underdog team and fought off a regular pairing. Abyss is good for a monster who can come in at any time and play his normal role as well as anyone else. Totally watchable match here which is as good as it gets around here.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 0

Hardy says his team will win.

Crazzy Steve vs. Samuel Shaw

I’ve had nightmares about things like this before. Steve comes in with a zombie cymbal playing monkey around his neck. Shawn frames the monkey but Steve won’t let him touch it. The announcers talk about Brian Stiffler’s pierced nipples because of course they do. Now it’s off to a discussion of mall stores because they like Steve’s belt. Shaw shoves Steve down and crawls for the monkey but Steve crawls over as well and shakes his head no. The fans (save for one guy) are silent for most of this.

Steve bites Shaw’s face and it’s time to play hot potato with the monkey. Now Shaw crawls after the referee as Josh sings Taryn Terrell’s theme music. Shaw hates Steve and I hate the horrible punches that Steve uses for his comeback. With Steve down, Shaw picks up the monkey and goes up, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Fans: “LET’S GO MONKEY!” Steve picks up the monkey but the referee takes it away, setting up a low blow and Shaw’s standing choke for the win.

Rating: F. A little over a year ago, Bully Ray and Rockstar Spud beat the Dirty Heels in the funniest match I’ve ever seen. That match worked because Ray and Spud work really well together as an oddball combination. It felt like they were told to go out there and be funny for ten minutes while being allowed to pick the details themselves. This felt like they were given a bad idea and had no idea how to make it work, which is why comedy in wrestling rarely works.

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 1

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

Hardcore (not announced to the crowd) because I don’t think anyone wants to see these two have a regular match. They start fighting in the aisle as you would expect them to as Kong takes over off a trashcan shot. Josh: “No need for Duke Droese here.” Havok’s weapon shots knock Kong into the ring but Kong goes all ninja by spinning a pipe around. That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen on these shows in forever.

Of course the fans want tables as Havok beats Kong down again. Here’s a ladder because these two don’t listen to the fans. Josh starts asking about having water infused with fruit. Seriously where does he get this stuff? Kong “chokeslams” Havok onto the ladder (read as she shoved Havok down) for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t call it a failure when it had the ninja stick thing from Kong but this was another match limited by the time. Then again these two have never had the chemistry that people expected from them. Granted that could be due to the fact that big power wrestlers like this ALMOST NEVER WORK WELL TOGETHER but people want to see it anyway for reasons I’ll never understand.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 1

Josh thinks that leaderboard looks like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy on top of a golf tournament. I’d ask what that means but I’m sure it’s just me being an internet nerd.

Tyrus vs. Gunner

I had forgotten Gunner was a thing. Gunner charges right at the monster to start as Josh talks about Tyrus always being in the gym. I think he meant Gunner but who am I to doubt Josh Matthews? Tyrus slams him down and puts on a bearhug. Announcers’ topic: celebrities who Tyrus has worked for as a bodyguard, including Pete “Marinovich”.

I think Josh meant Maravich but…..dang he’s said so many stupid things tonight that I’m running out of insults. Gunner’s powerslam fails and it’s back to the bearhug. Josh keeps up his stupid namedropping and Gunner finally slams him. Josh: “Like when Hogan slammed Andre.” Not that it matters as the spike to the throat gives Tyrus the pin. Josh: “If Tyrus had been in Ford’s Theater that night, President Lincoln wouldn’t have been assassinated.” JB: “Yeah but he would be really old.”

Rating: D-. Another bad match as Josh has gone from annoying to obnoxious on commentary. I mean…..dang he sounds stupid with so many of the things he says. The commentary on these shows have always been a disaster and that’s the case here too. The match was bad again because they don’t have time to do anything and clearly don’t care in the slightest.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Taryn says she’s ready to compete like a champion.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn grabs a headlock and headscissors to start as they seem to actually be trying more than anyone has in the last few matches. Gail gets up and sends her face first into the buckle, which Josh says we can experience by running into a tree backwards. Both women crash out to the floor as Josh talks about subliminal messages based on the IMPACT ring skirts. They can’t even afford a ONE NIGHT ONLY ring skirt to make this seem a bit more important? I mean, it looks like the least important show ever so it can’t be that difficult.

Now we debate whether counting for a DQ should count towards a countout as Taryn grabs a half crab. The silence from the crowd here is borderline eerie. Josh: “What’d you have for lunch today?” Taryn’s middle rope clothesline gets two as Josh writes the foreword to JB’s book. Gail misses a charge and hits the floor again but Russian legsweeps Taryn into the barricade. You would think she would be smarter than that, being a WRESTLER and all. Back in and Taryn fires off some clotheslines, showing some of the better fire all night. Gail ducks a high cross body though and counters the Taryn Cutter into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s Taryn being gorgeous, maybe it’s the idea of Jeremy Borash book actually sounding appealing or maybe it’s the effort put in here for a change but this was one of the more entertaining matches on the show so far. Of course that’s on a sliding scale because this show is another disaster that is clearly just here to fill in a slow but take what you can get.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 2

Team Young – 1

Roode promises he’ll win the captains match.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

One fall to a finish and no tags to start which makes things even better. Josh incorrectly says Team Young is mathematically eliminated from going to the finals as everyone goes after Eric in the corner. Carter and Young are sent to the floor, leaving Roode to work on Hardy’s arm. The taping schedule becomes an issue again here as Josh goes on a rant about how Carter should be World Champion already.

Carter comes back in and switches places with Roode, leaving Josh to insult JB for trying to be British. A belly to belly gets Eric a two count on Hardy and Josh freaks out that Carter is bleeding. With Roode still nowhere to be seen, Carter and Young start arguing over who is going to pin Hardy. In other words, it’s the same uninspired stuff you’ve seen every single time you watch a multi-man match.

Roode comes back in with some running clotheslines but Carter breaks up the comeback. Hardy breaks up a piledriver attempt from Young so Eric piledrives Roode instead. Back up and Eric bites Hardy’s head, actually not drawing any jokes from Josh. With Roode and Carter fighting on the floor, Hardy hits a quick Twist of Fate to pin Young.

Rating: C. The star power helped but this was every multi-man match you’ve seen in a very long time. Hardy going to the finals was pretty obvious and at least the fans reacted a little bit for the pin. Young losing is almost always a good thing to see as well but this was just a dull match that has been covered to death already.

Team Carter – 3

Team Hardy – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Carter beats Hardy down post match.

Long recap of the whole show thus far.

Team Hardy vs. Team Carter

Jeff Hardy, Rockstar Spud, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Gunner

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, James Storm, Awesome Kong

Survivor Series rules, Storm has Khoya with him and Carter has written HARDY on the bandage over his head. The bell rings but Team Carter is still huddling, allowing Khoya to slip Storm a weapon. Hardy and Carter start things off so Carter tags out to Robbie before any contact. That’s another idea that we’ve seen a hundred times and it’s just as tired as it’s always been.

One shot sends Robbie off to Godderz for a tag as we’re already two minutes into this. Gunner comes in and we finally get a lockup. One shoulder sends Jesse bailing to the corner and it’s off to Carter. That goes nowhere either and it’s off to Tyrus because we didn’t see enough of this match earlier. Just like earlier, Tyrus takes him into the corner and it’s off to Storm……who tags Kong in fifteen seconds later.

Before she can even get both feet in the ring, Jesse tags himself back in. Oh and how lucky we are as we get to see Steve. Wristlocks are exchanged and Steve mostly headscissors him over, giving him the move of the match so far. Now it’s off to Richards vs. Tyrus and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STEVE COMES BACK IN AGAIN. Just freaking wrestle already! Thankfully Tyrus spikes Steve down for the first elimination. Gail comes in and says she wants Kong.

We get the Knockouts showdown and things are instantly more interesting as they do the same stuff they’ve done a dozen times. Kong gets dropkicked to the floor and they brawl up towards the stage for a double countout. It’s Robbie vs. Davey with Richards scoring a modified Crossface for the submission in less than a minute. Jesse comes in and gets headbutted by Gunner and Davey.

A slingshot suplex from Gunner brings in Spud, who is quickly gorilla pressed (read as Jesse lifts him up and moves his arms a bit) about fifteen times in a row, only to have Spud roll him up for the pin. Tyrus comes in for a head vice and the submission from Spud, followed by Hardy rolling Tyrus up for another pin. As you might expect, Josh doesn’t get that Spud was knocked out and thought he tagged Hardy despite not being within ten feet of him. Those eliminations all came in about thirty seconds.

We’re down to Hardy, Davey and Gunner vs. Storm and Carter. Gunner starts working on Storm’s shoulder but Storm hits a quick Last Call to tie things up. Davey rolls Storm up for two and the kickout sends him head first into whatever Khoya had slipped to Carter, giving Ethan another elimination. It’s Hardy vs. Storm/Carter with Jeff pounding away on the captain in the corner.

The Whisper in the Wind mostly misses Storm so Ethan drops Jeff again. Ethan pops up and hits Hardy with the big metal brace on his arm for a DQ elimination. Storm only gets two but he superkicks Jeff on top. It doesn’t knock Jeff out though as he throws Storm down, kicks Khoya away, and drops the Swanton for the pin and the victory.

Rating: D-. As you might have expected, TNA screwed this part up too as they went through eleven eliminations in the span of just over ten minutes because they had to keep up that stupid “no you’re it” nonsense to start. This was yet another uninteresting match with little drama and nothing I’m ever going to remember. Boring stuff, as I think all the fans knew were coming.

As soon as the pin goes down, Josh shouts about how Ethan wasn’t pinned because that’s the most important thing on the show.

The trophy presentation and a recap video wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F-. I know we talk about JBL, Cole and the rest of the WWE announcers being annoying and they’re valid complaints. However, Josh Matthews makes them seem like the patron saints of broadcasting. I cannot remember a time where I sat through a wrestling show wanting to scream at an announcer for all of the stupid, unprofessional, self serving, not funny and downright horrendous things he spent this show going on about.

I get that TNA doesn’t care about these shows, but at least the drivel that the commentators spew serves some purpose other than the amusement of one person. Matthews is following in Tazz’s footsteps on these shows and it’s somehow making them even worse. The wrestling was totally uninspired and dull but Matthews’ commentary made it that much harder to sit through, which continues to make these things the most grueling shows I’ve ever had to sit through. Act like professionals already and maybe you won’t keep getting bounced from one network to another. Or just fire Josh already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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TNA One Night Only – Knockouts Knockdown III: One Of The Worst Shows I’ve Ever Seen

Knockouts Knockdown III
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Rockstar Spud

I’m finally getting back to these things after a few months away. Not because they didn’t air them or anything but because they’re hard to find. Can you blame people for not wanting to put them up though? It’s another series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match to end the show because that’s all these things know how to do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is standard stuff that you would expect here. I’m thinking the “standard” part is going to be a recurring theme here.

Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash are in the ring to open the show and explain the concept. This brings out the BroMans to judge the women who will be challenging the Knockouts because they need to fill in time. Jesse is dating Angelina Love and Robbie has dumped Brooke and gotten Velvet Sky fired. He’s single and ready to mingle. The crowd on the other hand sounds like they’re ready to go to a funeral.

After ejecting Christy and JB, Robbie brings out the aspiring Knockouts, lead by Mia Yim (Jade), making this even more dated than it already was. Jesse is handling the interviewing, starting with Mia, whose dream for tonight involves Jesse himself. She thinks of slapping him off the top two years ago, but Jesse says it didn’t count because his mom didn’t see it. Next up is Alisha from Boston, who keeps correcting Jesse that it’s Alisha, not Alicia. She’s better known as Alexxis Neveah and isn’t interested in going home with either BroMan tonight (probably because she’s married to Eddie Edwards).

Su Yung is from Seattle and is asked for her drink of choice. From Starbucks, you start with shots of vanilla and carmel, plus fat free, low calorie soy milk. Much like the other two, Robbie isn’t interested in taking a picture with her due to her taste in milk. Next up is someone Robbie has a crush on: Thea Trinidad, formerly known as Rosita. Robbie bends over to pick up his selfie stick but Thea thinks it’s disgusting. No picture, but then again you’re not aspiring when you’re a former champion in the company.

Solo Darling and her furry ears implies that Jesse and Robbie are a couple and thinks adorable is a number. Laura Dennis (Cherry Bomb) lives by the code of sex, weights and protein shakes, which is finally enough to get a picture with the team. Finally we have Mary Kate from Tampa says she didn’t come here to play games with these buffoons, but she kisses Robbie for a potential advantage in her match. Robbie: “I LIKE HER!!! I WANT TO MARRY HER!!!” DJZ announces the matches for tonight but I’ll leave those for a surprise. Each of the opponents comes out to drag this even further.

This segment ran twenty five minutes, out of a show that runs less than two hours and forty five minutes.

Clips of Gail Kim winning the first competition in 2013.

Clips of Madison Rayne winning the competition last year.

Madison asks Christy Hemme about her family but cuts her off because Madison doesn’t care. She promises to win tonight and get her crown back.

Madison Rayne vs. Alisha

Before the match, Madison tells Earl Hebner to hang on a second. Madison asks Alisha what her name is but doesn’t care to hear it. The crown belong to her so Alisha doesn’t even need to look that way. The opening bell rings over thirty two minutes into the show. A quick rollup gets two on Madison and Alisha sends her into the corner, prompting a demand for a timeout. Alisha hammers away as the commentators have set a record by staying on topic for the first two minutes of a match.

Rayne gets sent outside for a breather before getting two off a rollup of her own. This isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world so far. Madison slams Alisha’s face into the mat in her signature way before they hit cross bodies at the same time. Madison takes over again with a kick to the head but stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Alisha to get two more off a rollup. Back up and Madison grabs a rollup (and trunks) for the pin to advance to the gauntlet main event.

Rating: D. Oh man this is going to be a long night. Madison is great as the evil stuck up character but I have a bad feeling we’re going to have a bunch of clones fighting the Knockouts. That doesn’t make things interesting because it makes the rest of the card feel like a waste of the time before we find out which Knockout is chosen to win tonight.

Thea Trinidad says she’s been in TNA before (thank goodness) and she’s here tonight get some revenge on Angelina Love for past issues. She talks about the Hardys and Tommy Dreamer mentoring her and this again feels like filling in time.

Angelina Love, with boyfriend Jesse Godderz, says she’s awesome and will be the Queen of the Knockouts tonight. Rebel and Crazzy Steve come up and honk a horn. Did I mention this was taped a long time ago?

Angelina Love vs. Thea Trinidad

Feeling out process to start until Trinidad gets two off a suplex. Love sends her into the middle rope for some choking, followed by some backbreakers for two. A quickly broken chinlock is countered into a small package to give Thea two. Love comes right back with a Hennig necksnap and it’s off to a full nelson with the legs. Back up and Thea kicks her in the face for two, Matrixes away from a kick, and totally botches a bulldog.

After copying three of Trish Stratus’ signature moves (minus the springboard on the bulldog), Thea connects with a moonsault but Jesse gets on the apron for a distraction. Cue Crazzy Steve to pull him off though, allowing Thea to knock Angelina off the apron and out onto Godderz. Apparently that one crash is enough for the countout to advance Trinidad.

Rating: D. So we had to sit through seven and a half minutes to get to part of the Menagerie causing a countout because Love can get knocked down for ten seconds off what was basically a high cross body. Unfortunately I’d assume we’re using this to set up a tag match later in the show because they have no idea how to fill in two and a half hours on a Knockouts show.

Post match Robbie and DJZ come in to help with the beatdown so here’s Knux for the save to set up the six person tag for later. Oh and it’s elimination rules to make it even longer.

Gail Kim, who is pro women’s wrestling, says this is her favorite show of the year. She wants the crown.

Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis

Before the match, Gail brings up Laura answering an open challenge back in 2013. Gail offers a handshake but Laura pulls her into for a cheap shot to take over early. That’s more personality than the other two have shown so far. Gail avoids a charge in the corner though and sends her face first into the buckle, setting up the figure four around the post. Well she is Canadian after all.

Dennis crawls up the ramp so Gail can’t dive on her. Back in and Laura gets in a knee to the ribs to take over again before busting out some Cattle Mutilation. Gail rolls out of that and ties up the arm while bending Laura’s leg over her shoulder to make it kind of a half crab. The hold looks too awesome to keep it on very long so Gail hits a Stinger Splash and the running cross body to the ribs for two. Eat Defeat puts Dennis away.

Rating: C-. I have a feeling this isn’t getting topped tonight. As you might expect, the most talented in ring Knockout there is and the one who has been wrestling for ten years had a good match. Dennis was solid enough out there, but like I’ve said too often tonight, I can’t get much out of them in a seven minute match and a quick promo.

Quick Knockouts music video. Nice job on showing Taryn in her Dollhouse gimmick after showing her as the old version in the arena.

Havok wants to fight Amazing Kong. Yes Amazing.

Solo Darling vs. Havok

Darling has furry ears and a long tail. Heaven help me she’s wrestling with the tail on. Havok throws her around to start and it’s time to talk about Spud’s pajamas. Solo’s right hands to the stomach have no effect so Havok puts on a weak full nelson. A backbreaker sets up some choking in the corner, followed by some hard running kicks to the jaw. Solo avoids another kick and comes back with some of the lamest shots to the ribs that I’ve ever seen. Havok’s powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but a chokeslam ends Darling in a hurry.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Darling’s offense looked pathetic. To be fair though this was back when Havok was interesting (and employed) so it was cool to see her built up as someone who could fight Kong in a big showdown. Ignore the fact that the showdown wound up being lame of course. Finally, what was up with the tail? I mean…..actually no. I don’t want to know.

Post match Kong’s music sounds like it’s starting but Havok says they’ll fight tonight.

And now, since filling in two hours and forty minutes when you have music videos, interviews and a twenty five minute promo, here’s a fifteen minute match from Impact on November 19, 2014.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

Taryn says she wants the crown. These promos have been the exact same thing every time.

Su Yung vs. Taryn Terrell

Yung dances to the ring and freaks out that she’s actually getting to face Terrell. So she’s Bayley’s original character. Feeling out process to start with Taryn grabbing a headlock followed by a shoulder block. Taryn slams her down a few times so Yung shakes her hand in thanks. A monkey flip sends Su down as this is one sided so far. Yung gets in some of her first offense by putting Taryn in the Tree of Woe for some running dropkicks to the ribs. That’s about it for Su though as she gets slammed off the top, followed by a missile dropkick and high cross body for two. The Hot Mess (RKO) sends Taryn to the gauntlet.

Rating: D+. It’s hard to argue with find fault when I have to look at Taryn Terrell for a few minutes. Young had more charisma than any jobber not named Cherry Bomb yet and that made the match a lot easier to sit through. However, it’s still a pretty lame match as we’re merely killing time before the gauntlet match.

Speaking of killing time, here’s a history of the Knockouts Title video.

Brooke makes fun of Robbie E. and says she wants the crown.

Brooke vs. Mia Yim

First bad sign here: the announcers call Mia by her new name of Jade, even though no one had called her that on this show. That’s the extent of talk about Mia though, as they switch over to talking about Brooke’s figure. A fall away slam sends Brooke flying to start and Mia gives her a quick Stink Face. Oh yeah we have a theme here.

Mia channels her inner Kevin Owens by telling the crowd to get ready before slapping on a regular chinlock. Brooke avoids a running book in the corner but stops to shake her hips, giving the announcers a new reason to talk about her. After a quickly broken surfboard, Mia misses a Cannonball in the corner, allowing Brooke to come off the top with a mostly missing hurricanrana. Another Stink Face sets up the Tesshocker to give us another full time Knockout in the gauntlet.

Rating: D. Comedy match without the comedy here as the main roster Knockouts’ dominance is getting really old by now. As has been the case with everything else on this show, the squash matches have felt like a way to kill time because they have nothing else to do. Mia is talented but there’s nothing she can do in a five minute comedy match.

Video on Awesome Kong (not Amazing Havok) being dominant.

Awesome Kong vs. Mary Kate

You might remember Mary Kate as Rosie Lottalove, though she’s since lost well over 120lbs and looks far better. Before the match, Mary talks about talking out Knockouts in her first run (meaning she was so big and horrible in the ring that she injured Daffney) but now she’s here to dominate. It makes sense as everyone else seems to be here to do exactly that.

They test out power to start with Mary forearming Kong in the back. We get a test of strength and Kong takes over almost instantly. They slug it out with Mary actually getting in some shots and putting Kong down with a dropkick. Kong shrugs it all off though and takes Mary’s head off with a spinning backfist, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m rating this higher because of the remarkable weight loss for Mary and that spinning backfist, which knocked Mary’s head off. They’re not really hiding the fact that Kong is the one to beat in the gauntlet match so why bother pretending that they’re going with anything else?

Havok and Kong stare each other down in the aisle.

We recap the six person elimination tag being set up earlier tonight.

Menagerie vs. Angelina Love/BroMans

It’s Crazzy Steve/Knux/Rebel for the carnival freaks. Robbie starts with a war/rain dance, followed by a cartwheel. Knux does the same and it’s time for a comedy match to fill in time. Steve gets slammed onto Robbie for two so it’s off to Jesse, who can’t figure out Steve either. Remember a few months ago with Robbie was scared of clowns? Don’t worry because TNA doesn’t either.

Off to the girls (you know, the point of the show) with Angelina scoring with a running knee lift. Rebel fights back with kick to the ribs and a delayed slam, followed by the splits legdrop for the elimination. Jesse runs in to roll Rebel up to tie up a second later, meaning we’re now stuck with the men fighting on the Knockouts show. The good guys take over with Knux slamming Steve on Jesse for two more but some BroMans’ double teaming takes over again.

Robbie’s sleeper slows Knux down but he’s still able to counter a cross body into a powerslam. Steve comes in to clean house, causing Spud to call the clown a crazy fool. Jesse grabs a quick rollup to eliminate Steve, which JB says makes it 3-1. Knux gets rid of Jesse with a cross body (yes a cross body) before a Sister Abigail puts Robbie away.

Rating: D-. I don’t think the men having most of the action in a match on the women’s show really requires that much of an explanation. Rebel continues to be there because of how good she looks in trunks and that’s about it. Love is out of things to do in TNA and there’s no real reason for her to stick around. Granted the same thing is true of the Menagerie, who I actually liked.

In case you haven’t had one in too long, here’s a video of how the Knockouts got to the gauntlet. You know, all but one of the main roster set, with the one aspiring Knockout being a former title holder in TNA.

Gauntlet Match

Royal Rumble style until it’s down to the final two when it’s pin/submission. Thea Trinidad is in at #1 and Gail Kim is in at #2. They trade what would have been rollups had there been covers to start until Gail takes over with a neckbreaker. Madison Rayne is in at #3 after what seemed to be a two minute interval. Some clotheslines put Gail and Thea down to start before choking in the corner kills even more time.

After almost nothing interesting in two minutes, Havok is in at #4. They’re barely doing anything here and it’s borderline depressing. Thea kicks away at Havok but gets dumped as Taryn Terrell is in at #5. Taryn starts cleaning house until they pair off to get this back to dull. Havok rams Gail and Madison together and it’s Brooke in at #6, with Spud wanting us to sing her song. Madison gets eliminated and Gail gets a Stink Face from Brooke. You can ink (not pencil) in Havok vs. Kong as the final from here.

Kong comes in at #7 and if you can’t keep track of who is still in there at this point, you’re beyond my help. Brooke is thrown out almost immediately and Taryn follows her a few seconds later. Gail tries a high cross body to both monsters and gets dumped out with ease. Now it’s one on one with pins or submissions for the win. They trade big shots and Kong scores with a cross body before sitting on Havok’s chest for two. Havok’s choke takedown (you have to go into the air for a slam) gets two and Kong’s chokeslam gets the same. A second chokeslam gives Kong the crown.

Rating: F. We waited two hours for a boring fifteen minute main event with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners. The fact that this might have been their best idea is disturbing and makes these shows even more worthless than the seemed to be in the past. I didn’t think that was possible but as usual, TNA manages to get worse than anyone thought they ever could.

Kong won’t wear the crown and beats up the referee to end the show.

Overall Rating: L. As in a loss, both for and by the Knockouts. This was one of the worst shows that I’ve ever seen, bar none. They completely failed at any of the objectives they were attempting to achieve and made the division look like the least interesting thing in the history of their promotion. On top of that, it was clear that they didn’t even have time to fill in an hour and a half, let alone two hours and forty minutes.

Let’s look at the things they used to fill time here: multiple music videos, a TWENTY FIVE MINUTE OPENING SEGMENT, a fifteen minute match from the previous year (plus an extra three minutes for entrances), a bunch of worthless interviews and recap videos. This show felt like it was nearly half recap/filler and above all else, the BroMans got WAY more time than any of the women with a twenty five minute segment and a ten minute match. Well nearly ten minutes (9:50), or the longest new match on the show by two minutes.

This thing was a disaster and made the entire division look boring and horribly uninteresting. They would have been far better off airing a Best Of show instead because these things aren’t working. It was mainly the same women fighting that we’ve seen for years in some of the worst matches I can remember. Instead of adding time to the matches, the aired an old match and had a long, unfunny comedy segment. I would LOVE to hear someone from TNA defend this mess because I’m convinced it can’t be done.

I know TNA had a bad reputation on a lot of things and some of it is unfair, but then you have something like this and how in the world can you argue for them? How? This is their bright idea for the month and something they think is worthy of airing. Instead of ANOTHER gauntlet/tournament, why not just have the girls go out there and have some long twenty minute matches? TNA loves to brag about how awesome the Knockouts are and this is what they give us. This was unacceptable and easily one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

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Impact Wrestling – March 20, 2015: It’s Still True

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 20, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is the last show of the European tour and they have a big main event to cap things off: Lashley defending the World Title against Kurt Angle. This is a match they’ve built up very well in the last few weeks and it feels like a match worthy of closing things out. There’s also a triple threat Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles, but that’s not important enough to advertise on TV. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. BroMans vs. Manik/Great Sanada

Ultimate X, meaning the titles are hung above the ring where they’re suspended from two ropes in the shape of an X. You have to climb up the structures at the corners of the ring and crawl along the ropes to retrieve the titles. The Wolves are defending and it’s DJZ and Jesse Godderz this time due to Robbie being shaken up by losing to Brooke last week. The champs get quadruple teamed to start but they easily fight off the schmucks and lackeys to clean house.

Jesse gets beaten down by the champs but Angelina offers a distraction to break up a double dive. That’s fine with the Wolves as they throw DJZ over the top onto the Revolution. Nice way to get the best of both worlds, if you consider Angelina the best that is. The challengers finally get things together and beat Edwards and Richards down until Jesse holds Richards long enough to nearly allow Manik to get the belts. Instead he dropkicks Manik down, followed by a double backbreaker for good measure.

The BroMans try to get the belts without climbing and actually get their fingers on them, but the Revolution comes in to turn it into a game of chicken. That brings the Wolves back in for stereo dropkicks and all six guys are down. Richards powerbombs Manik into a Backstabber for a save and DJZ gets shoved into the truss. Jesse gets some mist to the face but Edwards crotches Sanada. A hurricanrana into the double stomp from Edwards has Sanada out of it, leaving the Wolves to take down the belts to retain at 9:23.

Rating: B-. This felt like a really good house show match: they didn’t do much besides the big stuff and the titles were never in any real danger, but it’s entertaining stuff and the crowd got into it. They weren’t going for some masterpiece here and it would have been a stretch for the Wolves to have a major problem dispatching either team. Good stuff here and exactly what it was supposed to be.

The announcers preview the main event.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. He hasn’t been around the last few weeks and it’s because of the Beat Down Clan. They beat him up and stole his briefcase, so get out here right now and give it back. Cue Samoa Joe and Low Ki with the briefcase with Low Ki saying possession is 9/10 of the law, so Aries can’t play his games right now.

Aries has two points: Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because he doesn’t cash in that briefcase. Second, Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because that briefcase doesn’t have his name on it. Aries wants his X-Division Title back too and is willing to put his briefcase up for a shot at it. Ki agrees, but only if Aries can get through Joe. Joe nails Aries and we go to a break.

Samoa Joe vs. Austin Aries

Joined in progress after a break with Aries in big trouble. His comeback is easily broken up as Joe gets in a shot to the shoulder and throws Aries to the floor. The arm gets sent into the steps before an overhead belly to belly gets two back inside. We hit the chinlock followed by a nerve hold as things slow way down. The backsplash misses though and Aries fires off some left hands in the corner. Joe is too big for the brainbuster though and he takes Aries down for a Fujiwara armbar on the bad arm. Aries makes the rope and sends Joe outside, setting up a big suicide dive, only to have Low Ki nail Aries for the DQ at 6:55.

Rating: C. This was just a match to set up the angle but it still worked well enough. Aries is able to have a good match with almost anyone in the company and I like that Low Ki seemed scared to go after the briefcase but trusted in his numbers advantage to take Aries down. Nice stuff here.

The BDC goes after Aries but Low Ki nails Joe in the head with the briefcase (great shot too) to knock him cold. Aries forearms the briefcase into Ki’s head and leaves with the belt. Cue Rockstar Spud with his X-Division Feast or Fired case and it’s time for a cash in!

X-Division Title: Rockstar Spud vs. Low Ki

Underdog gives Spud the title in seven seconds. Spud deserves something for all the work he’s done lately.

Magnus is beating Bram up in the back and throws him onto a cart. They come into the arena with Bram being knocked down the aisle. Magnus erupts on him with a chair but referees pulls him off. Mickie James comes out and kicks Bram in the ribs. That’s enough of an opening for Magnus to take Bram up to the stage for a powerbomb to leave Bram laying.

The roster is looking forward to the main event. MVP says they’re fighting for his title.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Terrell is defending. The early double teaming of Kong gets her down but she sends Gail into Taryn to take over. Kong lifts Taryn up for a slam but Gail dropkicks Terrell in the back. That doesn’t phase Kong and she drops Taryn on Gail in a cool spot. Taryn gets clotheslined out of the air but Gail counters the Implant Buster.

More double teaming fails and Gail is knocked to the floor. A middle rope dropkick staggers Kong but she shoves off the Taryn Cutter. There go the gloves but she misses the splash, allowing Taryn to hit the second attempt at the cutter for two. Instead a dropkick sends Kong to the floor where Gail nails her with a huge dive. Back in and Gail sunset bombs Taryn for two but gets rolled up for the pin to retain Taryn’s title at 6:16.

Rating: B-. I’d love to see the Divas get a chance to do something like this. Seeing the Knockouts and NXT Girls having matches like this one make me wonder why the Divas aren’t given the chance to pull off something similar. The time helped here but the whole thing wasn’t even seven minutes long, meaning it doesn’t even take a long time to put together a classic.

James Storm flips a coin to determine what happens to Matt Hardy. The decision is to cause him severe pain.

Video on Angle vs. Lashley with a theme of surviving changes in life.

Angle says he’s ready.

James Storm vs. Matt Hardy

No DQ. The brawl starts in the aisle again with Matt getting the better of it and throwing a bunch of chairs into the ring. Storm comes back by wedging a chair in the corner before they trade trashcan shots to the head. Matt gets crotched on the top and kicked in the head, setting up a superplex onto two open chairs for two. Abyss throws in some tacks but Matt knocks James’ back first onto them, followed by a top rope elbow for two.

The Twist of Fate connects but Abyss pulls the referee out at two. The rest of the Revolution gets involved but are easily dispatched, only to have Storm send him into the chair in the corner for a close two. Another Twist of Fate drops Storm but Matt can’t cover. Instead Abyss hands Storm the bell as Sanada mists Matt. A cowbell to the back of the head and two Last Calls are good for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were cramming way too much stuff into this. I’m not even sure why the Revolution is going after the Hardys but it’s better than them having nothing to do and just wasting time while adding more people to their ranks. This one missed though and it was due to just not letting the match build and going too hard with it.

James says he put Jeff out of wrestling and has the Revolution hold Matt.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending. We get the old school long walks through the back to the ring to really make this feel like a big deal. After the big match intros we’re ready to go with nearly twenty five minutes for this match. The fans are behind Angle but Lashley throws him into the corner with ease. A big clothesline puts Angle down again as it’s all champ so far. Kurt goes back to basics with rolling Germans and sends Lashley to the floor, but the champ takes over again with pure power.

Back in and Lashley pounds him down in the corner before starting in on the arm and shoulder. Kurt fights up and escapes, setting up a middle rope shoulder to drop Lashley. It’s time to roll some Germans and Lashley is in trouble. Kurt lets go but snaps off five more Germans before taking down the straps. The ankle lock is countered and Lashley nails the powerslam for two as we take a break.

Back with Lashley going shoulder first into the post and getting caught in the ankle lock again. Lashley rolls through but charges into a boot, setting up the Angle Slam for two. Now the spear connects for two but Lashley takes way too much time going up, allowing Angle to avoid a splash. This time it’s Kurt going up for a high cross body but Lashley rolls through into an ankle lock of his own. Kurt grabs the rope and hits another Angle Slam only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. That gets turned over into another ankle lock with the grapevine and Lashley taps at 20:18.

Rating: B+. It’s really good but it’s clear that Angle just doesn’t have the same reserves he used to. I’m ok with the title win as it feels more like one last reign for Angle instead of making him the long term top guy again. Angle more than deserves a reign like that and if he puts over a young star (which he likely will), this is fine. Lashley looks good in a loss, but the match didn’t hit the levels of epic they were hoping for. Still though, really good stuff.

Overall Rating: A-. Really solid show this week in TNA’s form of a pay per view. It’s a great way to blow off the UK tour and it felt like a major show. The big deal next week is the return of Jeff Hardy, and it’s going to be interesting to see if they can keep this momentum back in Orlando. History suggests otherwise, but this has been their best run in years. Really good show though and it’s nice to see TNA deliver when they were supposed to.

Results

Wolves b. BroMans and Manik/Great Sanada – Edwards pulled down the belts

Austin Aries b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Low Ki interfered

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Underdog

James Storm b. Matt Hardy – Twist of Fate

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Lashley – Ankle lock

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TNA One Night Only – Jokers Wild III: And Now, For A Twist

Jokers Wild III
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is the old standard for TNA as this series has somehow reached a third year. Thanks a lot TNA for screwing up your pay per views so I have to sit through even more of these things. It’s another show with a series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match for money at the end. Maybe Matthews can save the commentary here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard preview of the show that we’ve come to know and….I can’t imagine anyone looks forward to these things.

JB and Christy are drawing all of the names before each match. I won’t be mentioning any of these unless something of note happens. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet match main event.

Robbie E./Jesse Godderz vs. Mr. Anderson/Al Snow

Hopefully this is the only required “random” pairing of a regular team. Anderson does Snow’s entrance: “WHAT IS EVERYONE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT DOES MR. ANDERSON REQUIRE???” Robbie pauses for a picture after the bell and says he wants Snow. The fans agree and we get Al vs. Robbie…..for five seconds until Robbie tags out. We’re still waiting on any significant contact until Snow slams Jesse a few times.

Off to Robbie who is terrified of Head. Snow takes him down into something like a Regal Stretch (arm trap STF) and pulls on his nipple. Anderson comes back in to crank on the arm (ignoring the nipple. So much for psychology) before it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the double team. It’s already SO much easier here with the announcers focusing on the match instead of talking about anything else.

Snow takes Robbie over to the corner and Jesse, ever the schnook, grabs his partner’s arm by mistake and works it over. The non-Bros (sisters?) steal the selfie stick to show Jesse what he did and tensions are teased. Instead we get a double noggin knocker so Anderson and Snow can stand tall. Back in and Robbie interferes, allowing Jesse to nail a dropkick before E. comes in to stomp on the arm for two. The hot tag brings in Snow and everything breaks down. Anderson sneaks Head in to Snow so he can knock Jesse silly, only to get rolled up by Robbie for a surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough match but hokey smoke does the commentary make it easier to sit through. I used to dread these shows because of how horrible Tenay and Taz were but again, Josh Matthews is his average self and it’s more than a huge improvement. The BroMans winning makes sense here and the less I have to watch Mr. Anderson be his run of the mill standard, the better I am.

The BroMans say they’re winning the $100,000 and spending it in one night.

DJZ/Samuel Shaw vs. Rockstar Spud/Awesome Kong

This could be a trainwreck. Thankfully this was taped less than a month before it aired so a lot of this is up to date, but unfortunately some is also ahead of schedule. For instance, Spud is bald here, a week before the hair vs. hair match took place. TNA goes Back to the Future? Spud is very, very happy with his partner. Spud and DJZ get things going and I really want to see DJZ hit on Kong.

They start with a basic cruiserweight style sequence until Spud dances in front of Kong. She tags herself in and actually gets caught in a headlock from DJZ, only to pull him down by the mohawk. Shaw comes in with a creepy mustache but Spud tags himself in to say that Kong is a lady. He stops Shaw from slapping her in the face and hammers away with some Popeye wind-up punches.

Spud gets double teamed in the corner as, get this, the announcers TALK ABOUT UPCOMING SHOWS TO MAKE US WANT TO SEE THEM. Not football, not references 8% of the audience will get, and not inside jokes. They actually do their jobs for a change and it’s just a step beneath glory. Kong gets the hot tag and cleans house with a crotch claw to Samuel and a chokeslam to DJZ, setting up the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant shoulders splash for the pin on DJZ.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine and a big shorter than the first match. It’s still not a good match or anything like that, but Spud is almost always a highlight of these things, even when he has nothing to work with like he did here. Is Shaw even with the company anymore? I don’t remember the last time he was on Impact and I can’t say I’m complaining. The guy is just one idea that has been played to death.

Spud is terrified of Kong so she kisses him. He seems to like it and faints.

Ethan Carter III says luck is power. Luck is having stroke. Luck is having your aunt own the company. Last year he won the competition and burned the money at Burning Man because he’s awesome like that.

Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

If this isn’t the longest tag match of the night, it’s a crying shame. Josh gets his facts wrong by saying Aries has the record for most X-Division Title reigns with six (Sabin had eight). Aries and Roode both try to go to the apron and then both start try to get in. I saw them team live once and they had the most entertaining match of the night.

We finally get down to Richards vs. Aries with Austin taking him down by the wrist. A series of tags leads to top rope elbows to the arm as the announcers talk about where the Wolves came up with their name. Apparently it has to do with teaming together in Wolverhampton, England. This leads to a quick discussion about JB being in that city before and it’s right back to talking about the match. Why does Taz have a job again?

The Wolves double team Aries in the corner and drop elbows on his back, only to have their double dive broken up by a double clothesline. We settle down to Roode dropping a knee on Richards for two. Aries slaps on the Last Chancery and the fans get behind the Wolves. That lasts all of three seconds before it’s back to Roode for a hard clothesline. Davey fights back out of the corner but the double teaming brings him back down.

The match gets a bit boring, so the announcers make predictions for the gauntlet. I love this new team. Aries and Roode keep tagging in and out for chops and punches in the corner. Davey finally comes back with the eternally stupid “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot and the hot tag brings in Eddie. Everything breaks down and Davey has to save his partner from a double suplex, setting up the German suplex into a jackknife cover for two on Roode.

Aries makes the save and sends Davey to the floor before hitting the running dropkick in the corner to Edwards. The Wolves headbutt out of stereo superplex attempts but miss stereo double stomps. The Roode Bomb and brainbuster are escaped as well, setting up stereo rollups for the pin. Eh I prefer monaural but this was good enough.

Rating: B. I think we can pencil this in for match of the night. Yeah it makes it very clear that the drawings are rigged, but this was so much easier to sit through than another comedy match with WACKY partners. There are better matches out there, but this is a classic by One Night Only standards. Good stuff.

Spud, with lipstick on his face, is with Kong and asks about room rates at Motel 6. Kong puts her arm around his shoulders. Spud: “Sup baby?” This cracked me up.

Ethan Carter III is chosen for the next match but has to say all the jokers here are in the audience. He has a pretty good feeling that he might be paired with Tyrus. “Christy, I’ll tumble for you if you tumble for me first.”

Ethan Carter III/Crazzy Steve vs. Tyrus/Knux

Well what are the odds of that? I’m getting a bit tired of thinking something like that over and over. Steve has a pair of Carter’s trunks on because he’s a painted up thief. He redeems himself a bit by doing Ethan’s pose. JB thinks Tyrus is going to lay down for his boss, which isn’t something an announcer just flat out suggests most of the time. Knux’s beard is now curled to either side like pigtails.

Steve and Tyrus get things going but Carter tags himself in to tell the big man to lay down. Tyrus won’t do it though as he could win $100,000….and it’s one finger to the chest for two as Knux makes the save. Steve comes back in to grab a rollup as this slow motion continues.

Knux picks Steve up and walks him around the ring, accidentally kicking Tyrus in the face. We get the Bushwhackers march until Steve rolls Knux up for two. It’s back to Tyrus (I don’t remember a tag in the last two minutes) who misses a splash in the corner, leaving Knux to punch Carter. A dropkick and cross body put Carter down but Tyrus nails Knux from behind to give Carter the pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t care for this kind of match and unfortunately this show feels like it was made by Vince Russo to get all these wacky finishes into three hours. It doesn’t help that they’re just throwing these matches out there and not even trying to hide that the draw is rigged. I’d love to see an actual random draw, just for the fun of it.

James Storm says tonight is a game of chances so even the Revolution aren’t friends and allies tonight.

Eric Young/Bram vs. Magnus/Tommy Dreamer

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I’ve sat through every show in this series and I get ERIC YOUNG AND TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER IN THE SAME MATCH??? My early guess: this match is going to suck. Magnus doesn’t even wait on his partner to get here (can you blame him?) and the fight is on in the aisle.

Now the double brawl is on in the aisle with Dreamer and Young going at it. It’s like my greatest nightmare come to life. Some people are scared of death. Some are scared of their loved ones getting hurt. I’m scared of Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer. Thankfully they switch off and start fighting in the ring for the opening bell with Magnus working on the arm…..and of course tagging out to increase the suck.

Bram comes in and gets caught in a spinebuster before Dreamer does a People’s Elbow. Seriously. If Tommy Dreamer is the People’s Champion, I’m defecting to the leeches and rodents. Eric breaks it up and Bram (in his violent pink trunks) hammers away on the floor before putting on a chinlock. Dreamer won’t let Young cover him so the heels tag behind the referee’s back to trade places. At least they were polite enough to make a tag.

Young hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about what the earlier winners do before they head to the gauntlet. This might be stupid, but it’s better than most of the nonsense I usually have to hear. Dreamer finally hooks an atomic drop and the hot tag brings in Magnus to clean house. Suddenly the match is so much less aneurysm inducing. Young gets thrown to the floor and Dreamer puts on a rooster hat. Well of course he does. Idiot. A fat splash gets two on Bram but Young kicks Tommy low to set up Brighter Side of Suffering from Bram for the pin.

Rating: D. Even though Eric Young sucks and I wouldn’t mind seeing him sacrificed to a pagan crocodile god, he’s much more in his element here with a brawling style and a match that means nothing. I get far more annoyed with him when he’s in the main event and World Title pictures, so throwing him in something like this is more acceptable. Dreamer needs to be thrown into the center of the sun. Maybe his tears about ECW dying can cool things down.

The Wolves enjoy being challenged and Eddie thinks the win was a good sign. That’s some serious insight.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kenny King/Chris Melendez

Can we get a second match with no screwy booking? It can’t be that hard. Storm and King get things going before it’s quickly off to Gunner, who doesn’t seem to care for Kenny’s antics. They trade leapfrogs until King drop toeholds him down, only to run to the floor from an angry Gunner.

Melendez comes in to face Gunner and they’re nice enough to shake hands. Chris wants Storm but James bails to the floor as the fans tell him he has Herpes. Gunner finally tags out by slapping James in the face. Storm easily takes Melendez down and puts on a Figure Four to really hammer in the evil. If nothing else it proves which leg that hold hurts.

That goes nowhere so Storm and King mock saluting each other, drawing in Gunner to clean house. James tags himself back in but gets cut by some Melendez clotheslines. A tornado DDT gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. Matthews calls King an (uncensored) SOB for a cheap shot to Melendez. Storm sidesteps a horrible spear from Gunner which hits Melendez, giving James the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but for the love of all things good and holy come up with a new way of booking these things. You can almost guarantee that you’ll have a team who has been together before or a team that is currently feuding, but in this case they doubled up on the lame booking.

Young says he and Bram love having extra opportunities to hurt people. Why not go jump on a pile of chainsaws to hurt yourself then?

Tigre Uno/Manik vs. Sonjay Dutt/Gail Kim

Well that’s certainly different. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay and Tigre trading dropkicks but Manik tags himself in. Sonjay cranks on a wristlock until Manik does a way too complicated flipping escape. Gail comes in and slaps Manik in the mask, only to get shoved down. She avoids a springboard missile dropkick though and does a springboard wristdrag with a headscissors to Tigre as a bonus. Back up and Manik throws her down by the hair but Gail puts on something like AJ’s Black Widow.

Everything breaks down and Manik cleans house to a polite smattering of applause. Manik rolls some suplexes on Sonjay as Matthews talks about being a potential X-Division talent back in the day. I think I’ve heard that before and it’s not the most thrilling idea for the division. Sonjay fights out of a chinlock and sends Manik into the buckle as the announcers discuss Grado. I still don’t get it. Kim comes back in and takes Tigre down with a headscissors, followed by Eat Defeat to both guys. Sonjay adds a top rope splash for the pin on Uno.

Rating: D+. Total spot fest here with no flow, direction or anything unique other than Gail being involved. I like it better than just having your standard match and Kim is more than good enough to hang in there with some guys, but the match was just a bunch of spots by guys that don’t seems like they know how to structure a match.

Lashley/Khoya vs. Abyss/Great Sanada

Well that’s one way to push Lashley. This is the last qualifying match. Lashley and Sanada get things started by trading wristlocks until Lashley plants him with a slam. Khoya won’t tag in though so it’s Lashley vs. Abyss. That’s fine with Lashley as he runs Abyss over as well before hitting a nice suplex for no cover.

Khoya drops to the floor to avoid another tag so Lashley hits a delayed suplex for two on Sanada. Abyss comes back in as the announcers talk about Gail Kim’s love of shoes. We get some stable miscommunication as Abyss hits Khoya by mistake and start slugging it out with Khoya getting the better of it. Both guys grab the other by the throat but Storm tells Khoya to come outside and then go to the back.

So it’s a handicap match now with Abyss splashing Lashley in the corner, followed by Sanada choking with some tape. That doesn’t knock Lashley out because this is wrestling, so Bobby gets up and starts cleaning house with clotheslines. Abyss’ chokeslam is no sold and Lashley spears both guys down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was different and a good way to get Lashley over, but it’s still not a good match for the most part. On the other hand, the Revolution SUCKS. There are far too many people in it and I have no idea what the point of the team even is at anymore. This was another lame match but that’s almost required at this point.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals. Awesome Kong in at #1 and Gail Kim in at #2 for another SHOCKING twist. Gail hammers away in the corner but Kong tosses her down with ease. Some right hands drop Gail again and Kong stands on her hair. Jesse Godderz is in at #3 and offers to let the girls keep fighting. Gail forearms him in the jaw and dropkicks him in the corner, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. That earns Godderz a right hand to the ribs but AMAZINGLY, Robbie E. is in at #4.

Kong fights them both off again and no sells Robbie’s chops. The BroMans stand on her hands but Kong goes beast mode to shove them off as Rockstar Spud is in at #5. He cleans house with dropkicks and checks on Kong, who splashes the BroMans in the corner. Spud has to hang on to avoid an elimination but gets thrown to the floor through the ropes. That’s perfect timing as Ethan Carter III is in at #6 and the fight is on in the aisle.

They get back in and Carter sidesteps a charging Spud, sending him into Kong instead. The distraught Spud is eliminated and it’s the BroMans, Carter and Kong. All three guys team up to fail at eliminating her so here’s Gunner at #7. The BroMans double team him down as Kong misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor for an elimination. Eddie Edwards is in at #8 but the heels triple team him as well. There’s nothing to talk about in this match and Davey Richards is in at #9.

The Wolves start cleaning house with their wide variety of kicks. Carter gets splashed by all three good guys and gets thrown over, only to land on the steps for a save. James Storm is in at #10 to give us Storm, Gunner, Richards, Edwards, Robbie E., Godderz and Carter. Storm is fine with waiting at ringside as Carter begs him for help. That story lasts all of ten seconds before Storm gets in and adds to the incredible levels of dullness in this match.

Sonjay Dutt is in at #11 and is quickly Last Called and dumped. That’s probably good as he might have sped things up and gotten them interesting. Gunner gets a Last Call for an elimination as well. Crazzy Steve, still in Carter’s trunks, is in at #12 and tries to dump Carter until Storm makes the save. Eddie pulls Storm’s shirt over his face and chops away as Khoya is in at #13. We’ve got Khoya, Storm, Richards, Edwards, Carter, Steve, Robbie E. and Godderz at the moment.

Steve bites Carters fingers to send him to the steps again but Carter has some Kofi in him and makes a save. Bram is in at #14 and takes his time to stay away from the ring. That goes nowhere so Lashley is in at #15 to eliminate both BroMans and Khoya in short order. Storm chokes Lashley in the corner to slow him down and Eric Young is in at #16. No wonder this match sucks. Eric Young is the grand finale. The final group is Young, Steve, Lashley, Carter, Storm, Edwards, Richards and Bram.

Young piledrives Steve for an easy elimination and the Wolves clothesline Bram to the floor. The Wolves get rid of Storm as well but Young and Gunner dump both of them, leaving us with Lashley, Carter and Young. Bobby clotheslines both of them at once but Carter saves his makeshift partner. A double suplex makes Lashley look strong again but they send him to the apron for more stomping. That goes badly as well as Lashley low bridges Young out, leaving him with Carter. The 1%er is easily countered and Lashley nails a spear for the elimination, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D-. The wrestlers clearly didn’t want to be in there and much like everything else tonight, it went so fast that they didn’t have time to develop anything. This match felt like it went on forever and you knew Lashley was winning (ok maybe Carter could have won it again) pretty much the second his music hit. It’s more boring than bad but that’s not really a big improvement.

Lashley gets the check and a three and a half minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. I had some slightly elevated hopes for the new commentary team, but they couldn’t save this. They’re light years better than Taz and Tenay and made the show a lot easier to sit through, but it doesn’t make what you’re watching really dull. This was two hours of goofy booking instead of just throwing out random pairings and making it a bit more interesting before a REALLY boring main event. It’s a one idea show and that idea is done in about the first half hour. The lack of effort really shows in these things and they lose their charm way too fast, including on this one.

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TNA One Night Only – Victory Road: Is Impact On?

Victory Road
Date: December 5, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

We’re still doing these things for some reason and yet again it’s a bunch of qualifying matches for a gauntlet later in the night. These things are almost interchangeable as they’re either a gauntlet match or a tournament of some sort and they’re really getting old. In this case the winner gets $50,000 and a future World Title shot, which I’m sure will be remembered later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows everyone in the competition tonight over a slow song. There isn’t much to say about this one.

There’s no thirty minute intro this time. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet.

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries

Feeling out process to start with King going for the leg to escape a wristlock in a nice counter. Aries rolls out of a wristlock as well and grabs a headlock, only to have King send him off and nip up before rolling outside for some reason. Back in and they speed things up with a headscissors taking King down and setting up a basement dropkick. King sends him out to the floor for a crash before slapping on a chinlock back inside. In case you’re wondering the announcers’ first totally off topic discussions are about Taz kicking people in Texas and Tenay having wanted posters in casinos.

King puts on another chinlock and mocks the Austin Aries chants as things slow down. A knee to the ribs puts Aries down but King misses a slingshot knee. Aries rolls to the apron and runs Kenny from buckle to buckle about ten times in a row. This is accompanied by the announcers making fun of Southwest Airlines. King bails to the floor and takes a top rope ax handle to the head, setting up a running elbow for two back inside.

Aries’ missile dropkick gets the same but Kenny blocks the brainbuster attempt. Austin wins a slugout but walks into a spinning kick to the face for two. The Royal Flush is countered and Aries blasts him with the discus forearm, followed by the corner dropkick and the brainbuster to send Aries to the gauntlet.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, assuming you can ignore all of the horrible commentary. King is a guy that can have a good, athletic match more often than not, even though most of his stuff here was based around chinlocks. Aries was doing his usual stuff but the fans ate it up, which is the entire point.

The Wolves are ready for their singles matches tonight because sometimes they hunt in packs and sometimes they hunt on their own.

Davey Richards vs. Bram

Taz about Christy: “She was late. That’s a thing guys don’t like saying about women.” Bram shoves him up against the ropes to start and knocks him down with a clothesline. Davey comes right back with a low bridge to the floor, a baseball slide and a missile dropkick to put Bram down. Back in and some kicks to the chest have Bram in even more trouble as Tenay and Taz are talking about going to the mall and yogurt shop. A belly to back suplex puts Davey down again and we hit the chinlock.

Davey gets stomped to the floor as Bram is having a great time hurting him. Off to another chinlock before Davey grabs a sunset flip, only to pop up and hit a quick double stomp. Back up and Davey nails his handspring into a kick to the chest followed by a release suplex for two. The top rope double stomp misses but Davey gets two off a rollup. Davey is all fired up but Bram pulls the referee in front of a charge to stop a charge, allowing him to nail an implant DDT to pin Richards.

Rating: C. Another decent match here with both guys looking solid. Bram is a guy that has a good look and can back it up in the ring, which I’m sure is why he’s been stuck feuding with Tommy Dreamer and now Al Snow. I still can’t get behind Davey as a singles guy but the Wolves are good enough as a team.

Kazarian and James Storm are teaming up later to face the Menagerie. Storm yells about having to face a freak show, which he calls a one hit wonder. Kazarian says he was the first man in the gauntlet and the last man out at the first Victory Road. This is when Storm is just an evil cowboy, meaning he’s not quite as entertaining yet.

Menagerie vs. Kazarian/James Storm

It’s Freak/Knux here with Knux starting off against Kaz, who slaps Knux in the face to start. We get a chase scene on the floor before Knux kicks his head off back inside. Knux has to fight out of the heel corner but Storm kicks him in the back of the head to take over. James comes in legally and hammers away as the fans freak out over something. Back to Kaz to rip at Knux’s face in the corner. Tenay and Taz are of course talking about Rebel.

Knux scores with a powerslam and the hot tag brings in the Freak. Storm is thrown around with ease as Tenay thinks Knux’s mask is a black and white cookie. A Jackhammer plants Kaz down and we get an old school double noggin knocker. The heels try the Wrestlemania V ending with Kaz playing Heenan but Freak just muscles Storm off. Not that it matters as Kaz breaks the beer bottle over Freak’s head and the Last Call sends them both to the gauntlet.

Rating: D+. Standard tag match here but I like that they’re mixing things up instead of just doing the same singles matches throughout the night. Storm and Kaz going on to the main event is the right idea, even though Kaz was almost gone at this point. It’s also a problem when Storm is a totally different character now but here he’s doing the old cowboy stuff.

Video on Lashley, who is listed as the champion here.

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

Lashley doesn’t have belt as he comes out, which makes far more sense for this show. Joe gets shoved into the corner to start before Lashley gets behind him and throws the big guy down. A shoulder doesn’t send either guy down and Lashley tells him to bring it. Taz is actually offering some analysis here, meaning he’s likely running a high fever. Lashley gets pounded down in the corner and takes the Facewash, only to take Joe’s head off with a clothesline.

A series of crossface shots gets two on Joe and a suplex gets the same. Off to a nerve hold and Taz actually explains why it should work. Joe fights up and hits a big boot followed by the backsplash for two. A middle rope dropkick gets the same and Lashley is in trouble. There’s the Clutch but Kenny King comes out for a distraction, allowing Lashley to get out of the hold and spear Joe down for the pin.

Rating: C. When Joe is motivated, he’s as fun of a guy as you’ll find in TNA. When he’s just going through the motions though, it can make for a long match. It was more towards the latter here as there was no fire in Joe, but to be fair, can you really blame him? He hasn’t done anything outside of midcard stuff in like six years but we’re supposed to buy him as meaning something here? I still don’t get why he doesn’t get a bigger push.

Mr. Anderson vs. Abyss

Anderson jumps him on the floor to start and sends him into the barricade. He drives Abyss into the apron and fires off right hands before slamming Abyss face first into the barricade again. Now the bell rings as they get inside and Anderson hammers away in the corner. A big back elbow drops Anderson and Abyss drives fists into Anderson’s head.

The announcers debate which meal they saw Abyss at as he cranks on Anderson’s neck. Anderson avoids an Earthquake splash but his regular splash hits knees. Back to the neck crank for a bit before Mr. fights up with a spinwheel kick, only to have the Mic Check blocked. A quick chokeslam is enough for Abyss to advance.

Rating: D. I really was expecting more from a pair of former World Champions. This started quick and ended out of nowhere with Abyss just hitting his secondary finisher for the pin. Anderson is very much like Joe, in that he just hasn’t had anything important to do for a long time.

The BroMans are excited about winning the money because DJZ needs a mail order bride, Jesse wants a home gym and Robbie might buy a bunch of hampsters.

Here are the BroMans for their match and one of their opponents is…..Spud. The Brans mock Spud for trying to compete until his partner comes out to back him up.

BroMans vs. Bully Ray/Rockstar Spud

If this is half as great as the previous match with Ray and Spud, it’s going to be a classic. Before the match, Ray has something to say to the BroMans. He makes Spud stand in the corner and says he doesn’t like him, but he likes the BroMans even less. Therefore, he and Spud can team together for one night only. Ray says the fans have to convince the referee, which takes all of two seconds, and we’re ready to go.

Spud of course starts on the apron as Jesse poses at Ray. The fans want Spud and Ray is nice enough to give them what they ask for. We get more posing from Jesse, sending Spud right over to tag Ray, who facepalms as a result. Taz thinks Ray and Spud will split the winnings 40/10 tonight. Everything breaks down and the good guys do a double Flip Flop and Fly with Spud losing his mind, thrusting both the air and the mat and Ray just looks on in awe. Ray finally drags him over to the corner by the ear but gets beaten down by both BroMans.

A double clothesline puts the BroMans down as Ray really doesn’t seem that worried. Some Bionic Elbows drop the BroMans and Spud plays D-Von in What’s Up on Robbie. Spud is all dizzy as Ray slaps his chest for the tables, only to knock Spud down to the mat by mistake. It’s table time and Spud comes back with a pink kid’s table and Ray is stunned.

Spud tries to climb on it and crushes the thing, allowing the BroMans to get in some cheap shots. DJZ throws in a real table but Ray suplexes both BroMans down. Ray pulls DJZ in and pulls up his underwear, only to have Spud turn on Ray by nailing him with the chain. The BroDown sends the BroMans to the gauntlet.

Rating: C. This was fun at times but they just killed the crowd with the ending. Spud and Ray are one of the best comedy teams in the company but instead of going with the fun ending, they go with the storyline ending that no one wants to see. Granted no one was watching this show in the first place so it doesn’t matter as much.

Spud yells at Ray post match and of course gets powerbombed through the table.

Gunner thinks tonight is a great opportunity and can’t wait to get another chance at Magnus, who he almost took the title from earlier in the year.

Magnus vs. Gunner

The Brit grabs the arm to start as the fans just go silent. A front facelock into a headlock puts Gunner down before a back elbow to the jaw sends Magnus to the floor. Things slow down a bit with Gunner chasing after Magnus and getting shvoed off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and an elbow to Gunner’s shoulder drops him again and we hit a camel clutch.

That goes nowhere so Magnus rams him into the barricade for the standard non-effect. A slingshot suplex plants Magnus and a running knee to the chest gets two. Both guys try cross bodies and go down as Tenay can’t figure out what HSM means (Human Suplex Machine). Gunner gets crotched on the top and superplexed down for two. Magnus walks into a slam but raises a boot to stop the flying headbutt. Back up and Magnus tries a sunset flip but Gunner drops down ala Davey Boy Smith for the pin.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but again, as I’ve said a few dozen times in this series, there’s no reason for me to care about these guys. One guy gets into the gauntlet and another doesn’t and they had a watchable match to get there. Nothing much to see here but it was an acceptable match.

Ethan Carter III and JB say “sup” a lot and Carter isn’t worried about Sanada. More sups are dropped.

EC3 video.

Ethan Carter III vs. Sanada

This could be interesting and Sanada isn’t evil yet. Before the match, Carter says he’s fluent in Japanese. Sanada says something in Japanese and Carter “translates” and I’m sure you know where this is going. Sanada finally calls him a stupid idiot and starts an idiot chant to get the match going. Some chops put Carter down and Sanada rains down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in snake eyes for two. Taz complains about eating bad Mexican food as Carter chops the skin off Sanada’s chest.

Sanada comes back with chops of his own and stomps Ethan down in the corner. The crowd dies as Ethan sends Sanada face first into the middle buckle to take over again. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Carter just slams him face first into the mat. Back up and Sanada grabs a hurricanrana followed by three straight springboard chops to the head for two. A missile dropkick sets up the moonsault but Sanada jams his knee, allowing Ethan to nail the 1%er for the pin.

Rating: C-. Anytime I get to hear Ethan’s song twice in a row, it’s a good day. Carter continues to be one of the major bright spots in the company and Sanada is no slouch either. Unfortunately this match had to take place at this show instead of somewhere that, you know, matters.

Bram is ready for the gauntlet because he’s here to hurt people.

Samuel Shaw vs. Crazzy Steve

OH COME ON NOW. They really need to have THIS match on the card to fill in time? There was nothing else that could have taken these few minutes instead of making us sit through this? Eh at least I get to look at Rebel twice in a night. Shaw misses a charge to start so Steve gets right down in front of him to mimic Shaw’s pose. Knux offers a distraction to send Shaw flying over the top as the crowd is dead again.

They fight over balloons but Shaw stops to look at Rebel. That earns him a bite to the leg until Samuel throws him off to the side with ease. A clothesline puts Steve down and about 18 fans think Shaw is creepy. Shaw chokes on the ropes and screams in a high pitch until Shaw floats over and hits some headbutts to the chest. Steve stops his comeback to get the balloons and dives into the side choke for the submission.

Rating: D-. They just fought over balloons. Get to the next match please.

The BroMans are are excited about the match and Robbie has already spent what sounds like millions. Jesse, somehow the smart one of the team, has to explain reality to him.

Tigre Uno vs. Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ

Feeling out process to start as everyone locks up with everyone. DJZ wants to stop for a second and we get a three way lockup. Now we get a three way headlock until Tigre dropkicks DJZ to the floor, only to have him pull Edwards out with him. Back in and Tigre bounces into a hurricanrana to take DJZ down but the spiky haired one comes back with a headscissors.

A spinwheel kick drops DJZ again and a Mysterio sitout bulldog has him in trouble. Edwards comes back in with a double missile dropkick before chopping Tigre in the corner. DJZ is sent outside again as Edwards puts Tigre into a fireman’s carry and throws him into an X Factor of all things. Everyone is back up now with DJZ sunset flipping Tigre who Germans Eddie at the same time. DJZ hits a pair of running knees to Tigre’s back but Uno punches his way to freedom.

Edwards gets dropped into a neckbreaker from DJZ for another near fall but Eddie sends both guys to the floor for a moonsault off the apron. Tigre pops up for a springboard corkscrew plancha to take over again. Back in and Tigre gets crotched on the top and superplexed down, allowing DJZ to get two counts on both guys.

Tigre does the overly complicated spin around Eddie into a headscissors but Edwards counters his springboard hurricanrana into a half crab. DJZ breaks that up too and sends Eddie into the post, only to get kicked in the head. Eddie misses a top rope double stomps and gets DDT’ed for two before Tigre botches a springboard hurricanrana for two on DJZ. Uno gets shoved off the top and Eddie grabs the half crab on DJZ for the tap out.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far, mainly due to it just being different. It’s still nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times or so before, but at least the right guy won and it was entertaining enough. Edwards comes off as the far better singles wrestler of the Wolves, but that could just be due to Richards coming off like a jerk most of the time.

A music video recaps the night so far.

Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a World Title shot and $50,000. It’s the Royal Rumble style with twelve entrants, two minute intervals and the final two having a singles match for the title. Edwards is in at #1 and Aries in at #2 with Eddie nursing a sore shoulder. Speaking of shoulders, a block from one is enough to put Eddie down and Aries goes for an early elimination. That goes about as well as you would expect this early on so Edwards starts busting out some chops. Neither guy can eliminate the other until it’s Kazarian in at #3.

All three fight each other and this is already going nowhere. Aries kicks Kaz in the head but Edwards tries to dump Austin instead of Kazarian. Edwards and Kazarian are on the mat and Robbie E. is in at #4. He walks around doing the money sign and they just pummel him with forearms and chops. They pair off again though with Robbie actually knocking Aries down for a breather.

Samuel Shaw is in at #5 and of course takes his sweet time to get to the ring. Robbie hides from him in the corner so Shaw reaches through the ropes to get to him. Kazarian puts Eddie in a sleeper but Aries puts a sleeper on Kazarian at the same time. Robbie does it to Aries and Shaw does it to Robbie for a five way sleeper. Tenay thinks this is original because just adding two more people to the same spot that’s been done in multi-man matches for twenty years is innovative.

Lashley comes in at #6 to clear out some bodies but everyone goes after him in a smart move. Aries’ brainbuster is easily blocked though and Lashley puts him out. Edwards quickly follows him with a big beal sending him to the floor and Kaz is the third elimination, all by Lashley. A spear is enough to dump Shaw, leaving Lashley vs. Robbie. The killing is postponed though as Abyss is in at #7.

The big guys slug it out and Lashley manages to suplex the masked one. A chokeslam stops Lashley cold but he comes back with a spear. Ethan Carter III is in at #8 as Lashley and Abyss get in a brawl near the ropes and are eliminated by Carter and E. in a big surprise. Robbie and Carter are apparently cool until Carter nails him in the face. They brawl on the mat for a bit as the fans have now died for an unprecedented 485th time tonight. Carter can’t throw him out and Gunner is in at #9.

Gunner goes right after Carter as Robbie hides in the corner again. Robbie gets up and saves Carter which he makes sure to point out to Ethan. Gunner can’t put either guy out but he can chop Carter’s chest into some pretty colors. We get the stupid “comedy” spot of Robbie landing between Carter’s legs. Carter is reeling until Jesse is in at #10. The BroMans double team Gunner as the announcers talk about the 80s. Ethan starts directing traffic until Gunner fights all of them off at once. James Storm is in at #11 but is fine with watching from the stage for awhile.

He finally comes down and says he wants Gunner for himself before choking him with the tag rope. Nothing happens for awhile as Bram is in at #12, giving us a final grouping of Jesse, Robbie, Carter, Storm, Gunner and Bram. Carter says he has an idea as the match just stops again. That goes nowhere as the BroMans dump Carter in just a few seconds. Jesse rams Gunner into the buckle so he can do that same I’M INTENSE spot again.

The BroMans accidentally collide and Gunner dumps Robbie with ease. Unfortunately he doesn’t freak out over not winning the money to pay his bills. Storm Last Calls Jesse to the floor and we’re down to three. A headbutt eliminates Bram and of course we’re down to the only rivalry in the match for the final two.

It’s a one on one match now so they stop for the big serious staredown. They slug it out with Storm clotheslining him down and dropping a leg for two. James goes outside for a beer but the bottle was used earlier. Instead he wedges a chair into the corner but of course goes face first into it, setting up the F5 to give Gunner the pin.

Rating: D. To the shock of no one and in keeping with the theme of the night, this was long and dull. The singles part lasted all of two minutes and ended with the same thing that almost every match in their feud ended with: Gunner winning without any real doubt. Unfortunately his push has died since this match was taped due to a six month feud with Samuel Shaw that has dragged Gunner through the floor.

Gunner promises to win the title before a long recap video ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. It’s not even that the shows are bad or anything as they usually have some watchable wrestling. I’d just like to see SOMETHING besides a tournament or gauntlet match to give me something fresh. I mean…can’t we just have a card of matches with a main event where some guys get to have some twenty minute matches that tear the house down? As usual these shows come and go and nothing sticks with me after about ten minutes. In other words, they’re very forgettable and that’s not the kind of show I’d drop money on.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 26: Robbie E

OH OH OH! Today is Robbie E.

Robbie started as Rob Eckos in late 2000. We’ll pick things up on Smackdown, May 5, 2005.

Rob Eckos vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan gets in Robbie’s face and tells him to run but has to deal with his stuttering. After he spends about a minute on the stupid gimmick, Morgan throws him into the corner and hits a running Umaga attack. Something like a pumphandle flip slam sets up the Hellevator to complete the squash.

Robbie got another spot on Smackdown on January 6, 2006.

Mark Henry vs. Rob Eckos/Rob Trusky/Gus Harlatcher

This is actually a gauntlet match but I don’t think it’s going to matter all that much. Henry has Melina of all people with him, which I think is fallout from Batista sleeping with Melina and then taking the Tag Team Titles anyway. Trusky gets things going and is promptly sent ribs first into the post. Henry bends the back around the post and gets a submission with a torture rack.

Gus is next and gets dropped ribs first on the top rope. A reverse chokeslam (cool move) is good for the pin. Eckos gets in a few forearms to the back (the potential!) but Henry knocks his head off with a clothesline. A Banzai Drop onto the back sets up the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. It took less than three minutes to beat all three.

We’ll jump ahead another few years to March 2009 for a match from Northeast Wrestling.

Robbie Eckos vs. Frankie Arion

Eckos is doing a pop singer character here and known as the Platinum Papa. Arion is a very short guy (his head barely clears the top rope) and a newcomer to the area. Frankie gets slapped in the face which only seems to tick him off. Eckos misses an elbow drop and they mistime what looked to be Mysterio’s sitout bulldog. A knee to the ribs slows Arion down but he comes back with a quick armbar. Back up and Arion gets pulled off the middle rope to send him outside for a breather.

They head back in and Robbie drops him ribs first across the top rope for two. Off to the abdominal stretch as we’ve got some actual psychology in this one. Arion gets free and nails a dropkick to put both guys down. Frankie loads up what looked like a bulldog but an elbow to the ribs stops him cold. Eckos’ superkick is caught and a running Bodog gets two for Frankie. The second superkick gets two for Eckos but Arion enziguris him down. He goes up top for a cross body but Eckos rolls through for the pin.

Rating: C. I was surprised by this one with the psychology pretty well. Arion looked decent but he needed to slow down by a few notches. He was trying to go too fast and it was causing problems for both guys. Eckos was smart to slow things down and even had a body part to work on other than an arm. This was a nice surprise.

Another indy match from just before Robbie debuted with TNA. From United States Wrestling on August 28, 2010.

Robbie Eckos vs. Brian Hardy

Eckos is in full on Robbie E mode now, even with the fist pump. Naturally we start with a dance off as before some hiptosses and elbow drops get two on Robbie. Eckos comes back with a YOU KIDDING ME DUDE and a clothesline to take over. We’re quickly in a chinlock on Arion but he pops up and avoids a charge in the corner. Arion loads up a Death Valley Driver but some guy comes out for a distraction, allowing Eckos to hit Eat Defeat for the pin.

Rating: D. This really didn’t work for me as the match was going much more for comedy rather than something basic like the Arion match. Hardy wasn’t bad but he was a pretty generic guy who was just kind of there rather than actually doing anything special. The comedy stuff didn’t work here and the lack of time really didn’t help things.

Eckos would debut with TNA a few weeks after this and quickly found himself in a title program. Here’s his shot at Turning Point 2010.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E

This is the match that started because of a gimmick match. Sure why not. Leave it to TNA to make an annoying heel character and to give him a taunt that gets over far more than he does. Yes I can’t imagine how having a move that the crowd is going to get behind on an annoying character could blow up in their faces.

Robbie hits the floor almost immediate to talk to Cookie. Lethal dominates early on and sends Robbie to the floor. HUGE chop has Robbie in trouble again. I have a bad feeling Robbie gets the title tonight as they try to force this down our throats. Lethal Combination is blocked and Robbie gets a hot shot to take over.

He keeps going with basic heel offense and gets his fist pump in. We get an abdominal stretch just to push how bad this is in just a little bit further. Lethal makes a comeback and hits the handspring elbow a la Tajiri for two. He gets a sunset flip but Cookie has the referee. Suicide Dive hits Robbie (I always get images of the Highlanders when I hear his name) and it’s all Lethal. Cookie interferes, Lethal gets crotched, neckbreaker gives Robbie the title.

Rating: D. Horrible opener that might as well have opened a house show. No one cares about Shore but to be fair I guess the idea is to not like him. I wish they gave us a reason to hate them rather than simply being told to him them. This wasn’t interesting in the slightest and I think everyone knew the title was changing. Weak match.

Here’s a rematch from Final Resolution 2010.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E

Cookie is supposed to be in a shark cage above the ring but doesn’t want to go in. She won’t get in so she leaves instead. Lethal jumps Robbie to start and here’s Shark Boy to get her in the cage. It’s stupid but it works for the line I guess. Lethal takes over to start with strikes and Robbie is crotched on the top rope. Cookie can scream almost as loud as Melina.

Robbie finally reverses Lethal to send him into the buckle and takes over. Taz: “It’s no surprise Shark Boy was here.” Taz: “What was Shark Boy doing out here?” I love odd commentary. Chinlock gets Robbie nowhere so he shifts to a sleeper instead. Two long drops don’t equal a third drop though as here comes Jay.

Lethal Combination gets two. How can a finisher go from being a finisher to just a transitional move? It’s still the same move. They collide and both guys are down. Robbie gets up first as Cookie throws some spray down to him. Lethal picks it off and sprays it in Robbie’s face. Like any evil face though he’s caught and there’s the DQ for Robbie to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing special in the slightest here as the X-Division continues to mean closer to nothing every day. This could have been on any TV show and would have gotten the same reaction as it did here. This division has just died this year and it’s really kind of sad. It’s not due to any one person but the lack of focus on it is awful.

Robbie would lose the title but he would stay in the title hunt, including this Ultimate X match at Destination X 2011.

Shannon Moore vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Robbie E

Ultimate X with the winner being #1 contender to the X Title. Things start out quickly of course and Robbie makes a fast run for the X. Red gets the always sweet double spin kick. Robbie looks like he’s having a seizure or something. Shelley and Red put Robbie on the floor before Shelley beats up Red a bit. Shelley climbs on Moore’s shoulders but Robbie makes the stop. Robbie is sitting in the corner and Moore is put in the Tree of Woe at the same time.

Shelley goes for the X but Red saves. Robbie clears the ring but gets caught in the ring skirt and pummeled by Moore. Moore and Shelley have a nice little sequence resulting in a moonsault off the stage by Moore to take Alex out. Red is alone in the ring but Moore gets in quickly to stop him. Shelley gets crotched and Red gets a shooting star off the shoulders of Moore in a cool spot.

Moore and Red collide so Robbie goes up now. Red saves of course and fires off some kicks to hurt Robbie. Robbie manages to throw Red over the top onto the other two guys to clear the ring other than himself again. The fans are for Red here. Robbie almost gets there but stops to fist pump, allowing Red to hit a springboard dropkick to take him down. Moore goes up above the X and on top of the truss. This is always scary. I’m terrified of heights so this is really intense for me.

Moore lowers himself onto the X as Red is almost there. Shelley is trying to catch up and Moore is down on the X now thank goodness. Shelley kicks him down and casually wins this. One of the fastest Ultimate X matches ever and I think that might not have been the planned finish. Came out of nowhere with no spark at all. Shelley looked like he was waiting on someone to stop him before he pulled it down..

Rating: C. That’s a low grade for Ultimate X, not in general. Not much here as it was really paint by numbers out there. I really think the ending didn’t happen as it was planned as things just kind of came to an end rather than with any kind of big spot. Either way, not a bad match but just kind of bland, especially with no story and having an Ultimate X match for the sake of an Ultimate X match.

He would get back in the title scene at Turning Point 2011.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Apparently losing to a reality TV star after losing your previous title shot means you get another one on PPV. There’s the locking up with the referee and the victory lap from Young before anything happens. They speed things up to start and Young sends him to the floor. They do some basic fast paced stuff and nothing is really worth writing down. Robbie hooks a chinlock and then a second one a few moments later.Nice way to fire up a crowd to open a PPV guys.

Orlando is fired up for this. I guess they were jealous from not having their show for a few weeks. Young gets up and hits a Stunner to escape and both guys are a bit dazed. Eric starts Hulking Up and takes his pants off, revealing GTW trunks. What is the appeal of this guy? I’d assume it’s that he’s not interesting or talented enough to be anything but comedy relief but I’ll be nice and assume otherwise.

Eric fights back with a forearm, dropkick and belly to belly for two. There’s a top rope elbow and he’s no Shawn Michaels. The other Rob saves the other Robbie and Eric strips again. Get this over with already. Eric dives to the floor to take them both out but Rob gets in an extra shot, allowing Robbie E to get the pin and the title at about 7:00.

Rating: D+. The only thing that matters here is that Eric Freaking Young isn’t champion anymore. This was one of those comedy matches that wasn’t funny and is there to say they had another title match. TNA fanboys like to complain about WWE being for kids, but a Jersey Shore guy just beat a guy who stripped to two pairs of underwear to win their equivalent of the Intercontinental Title. Think about that for a minute.

A rematch from Final Resolution 2011.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Eric disrobes because it’s funny I guess. A Thesz Press puts Robbie down and we go to the floor. Young hits a nice dive but has to avoid a Big Rob shot, allowing the champ to take him down with a clothesline. Robbie takes over with his pretty dull stuff and hits a middle rope elbow after some fist pumping for two.

He hooks a chinlock to waste some time. Young makes his comeback but misses coming off the top. Eric puts him down again but Big Rob chokes him out for a few seconds. Robbie is sent into Big Rob’s crotch and Young tries a DVD on both of them. And never mind as a Codebreaker keeps the title on Robbie at 7:30.

Rating: D. Ho-freaking-hum. Horribly uninteresting match again here with nothing going on at all in it. To be fair though, this is one of those matches that suffered from the automatic rematch issue: since we’ve already seen a winner and a loser here, there’s no real interest in seeing them fight again. That being said, we’ll probably get this again because of Big Rob getting involved again. Nothing to see here and the first half hour of this show has been pretty awful.

We’ll head over to Impact now, starting on July 19, 2012 with Robbie in the Bound For Glory Series.

Bound For Glory Series; Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E

Jeff says he has someone in mind to call out but Robbie E interrupts. T jumps Hardy to take over but Hardy realizes he’s Jeff Hardy and takes over with his usual stuff. T interferes again to send Jeff out to the floor. That gets two for E but Jeff comes back again and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. A plancha to the floor misses as T shoved E out of the way. Jeff fights T up the aisle and E wins by countout at 2:49.

Another match in the Series on Impact, August 23, 2012.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Van Dam and Styles throw Robbie to the floor so we can get down to the important guys. Van Dam fires off some kicks to start and a rollup gets two. It’s a standoff and Robbie is back in. he charges into a double hip toss and a suplex from Styles sends him to the outside again. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Van Dam to the floor but Robbie sneaks in and clotheslines Styles down for tow.

Van Dam is kicked to the floor before he can do anything and we take a break. Back with AJ trying to speed things up but missing a forearm in the corner. Robbie knocks Van Dam to the floor again and AJ gets put in a chinlock. Van Dam pulls Robbie to the floor and beats him up but Styles dives on both of them to put both guys down. He may have hurt his leg in the landing though.

Back in and AJ hits the fireman’s carry into the backbreaker for two. The leg seems to be ok. Robbie can’t get past the apron and Van Dam kicks AJ down. Rolling Thunder hits and Robbie takes a kick to the face as well. Standing moonsault gets two on Robbie and he gets sent to the floor. AJ botches the moonsault into the reverse DDT but gets two off of it anyway. Styles loads up a superplex on RVD but gets knocked back down. The Five Star hits but Robbie runs in and rolls up Van Dam for the pin at 12:53.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty fun match although the way the match was going, it became clear there was going to be a surprise ending. I guess they wanted to avoid Styles or RVD from getting some breathing room in the standings which isn’t a bad idea. The match was pretty good for the most part though and it was a nice surprise all things considered.

Robbie E. started a team with Robbie T. but T. got tired of E. treating him like garbage. Sounds like a cage match to me, from Lockdown 2013.

Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Robbie E wants a timeout to start and there’s a hug attempt. Robbie T doesn’t seem interested and shoves E down with ease. E does some stretches in the corner before trying a headlock. That goes very badly for E and a one handed top wristlock puts E down. A single leg takedown doesn’t work at all so T launches him up into the air. T grabs him by the throat but E slaps his way out of it. E grabs a fast armbar before hooking a sleeper. T finally breaks the hold and catches E’s cross body with ease. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends E at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was supposed to be but it doesn’t make for a good match. T has never been great but instead of being a comedy guy, he should be allowed to be a monster as he always should have been. Also thankfully this time there’s no Orlando Jordan for a stupid feud to derail any momentum he gets going.

E. would hook up with Jesse Godderz as the BroMans. They would enter a tag team turmoil match at Bound For Glory, but first up Robbie was in a fourway on Impact, October 17, 2013 for the last spot in the turmoil match.

Christopher Daniels vs. Robbie E. vs. Hernandez vs. Eric Young

The winner of this gets the final spot for his team in the gauntlet match on the preshow with the winning team getting a title shot at the PPV. Robbie and Young get us going but Young tags in Hernandez for the slingshot shoulder to E. Robbie brings in Daniels who has to escape the over the shoulder backbreaker but gets caught in the choke suplex for two. A cheap shot from Robbie takes Hernandez to the floor before he comes in legally and gets two off a middle rope elbow.

SuperMex comes back with a double clothesline to take down Daniels and Robbie, allowing for the tag off to Eric. Daniels and Robbie get in an argument (despite not being a team), allowing Hernandez to do the running clothesline from the ramp. Hernandez misses a splash in the corner and falls out to the floor before Eric suplexes Daniels down. Robbie makes a blind tag in and pins Daniels off the top rope elbow from Young at 5:18.

Rating: D+. This might as well have been a tag match until the ending which is about all you can expect out of something like this. Odds are we’re getting Chavo and Hernandez vs. Gunner/Storm because that’s the least interesting match out of the options available. Nothing match but it wasn’t too bad.

Here’s the turmoil match from the BFG 2013 preshow.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

And the title match from later in the night.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

Robbie E. and Jesse Godderz still have Mr. Olympia Phil Heath with them. The champions run the goofs over to start and send them out to the floor so Gunner can backdrop Storm over the top onto the Bro Mans. We officially start with Storm throwing Jesse around with a hiptoss before it’s off to Gunner. An elbow to the face and a slingshot suplex get two each on Jesse before Robbie gets in a shot from the apron to take over. Robbie comes in and pounds away on Gunner before getting two off a dropkick.

Gunner comes back with a jumping knee to the face but Jesse runs in to knock James off the apron. Robbie drags Gunner back into the challengers’ corner before bringing Jesse back in. Gunner comes right back with a quick fallaway slam and the hot tag brings in Storm. James cleans house and gets two on Robbie off a running neckbreaker. The Bro Mans get their act together and load up a double superplex on James, only to have Gunner pull James off into an electric chair.

Robbie is taken down by a front suplex, allowing James to drop a top rope elbow for two. Storm has a nasty cut on the side of his leg and Robbie scores with a quick Edgecution for two. Gunner loads up Robbie in the Gun Rack but Robbie makes the save, only to get caught in a powerbomb. Storm adds a Backstabber but Jesse makes the save at the last second. James hits the Last Call on Jesse but Robbie throws in a title belt for a distraction, allowing the Bro Mans to hit the Hart Attack for the pin and the titles at 11:48.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting but it’s not like it means anything long term. The tag division means nothing at all and if time has proven one thing, it’s that one team can hardly ever breathe life back into belts that a company isn’t interested in pushing. The near fall off the superkick was really good but other than that it was your basic tag match.

The new champions would defend the titles on Impact, October 31, 2013.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

The challengers jump the Bro Mans in the aisle before Gunner sends Robbie into the corner to start the official beating. A splash crushes Robbie and a slingshot suplex gets two. Off to Storm for a double back elbow and a knee drop to give James a two count. Jesse comes in and takes a big chop in the corner to mess with his blood vessels.

Back to Storm who gets two off a back elbow to the jaw followed by Storm getting the same via the Eye of the Storm. Things break down a bit with Gunner being sent out to the floor and Storm backdropping Jesse onto the back of his head. Robbie pulls his partner to the floor to avoid the Last Call before tripping up Storm on a suplex attempt and holding the foot down to give Jesse the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it’s good to have the Bro Mans get a win like this. They’re the kind of team that is going to have to cheat all the time to keep the belts and it’s just going to make the reaction even bigger when they lose the titles. I’m not wild on Storm and Gunner but they’re good enough for stuff like this.

We’ll wrap it up with another tag match from Impact on March 20, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Bro Mans are defending. Before the Wolves arrive, the champions try to get Tigre Uno and Sanada to lay down but Tigre says no and the champs are knocked to the floor. The Wolves show up and jump the Bro Mans but the other challengers hit baseball slides to the Bro Mans out as we take a break. Back with everything breaking down until it’s Davey grabbing a rollup on Sanada for two. Off to Eddie as the Wolves rapid fire kicks and chops to put Sanada against the ropes.

Tigre breaks up a double charge and Sanada is almost immediately back up with no apparent damage. Robbie tags himself in but Eddie rams him head first into Davey as the Wolves stay in control. Tigre comes in to face Robbie and walks into a clothesline as the champions take over. Jesse comes in and gorilla presses Tigre as Zema plays sound effects. Robbie gets two off a knee drop but Tigre comes back with a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog.

A double tag brings in Sanada to work over Jesse but Zema grabs the X-Division Title for a qiuck photo op. Sanada dives on Zema, leaving Tigre to climb the ropes and armdrag Davey down. A powerbomb/Backstabber combo from the Wolves gets two on Tigre but the Bro Mans make the save and hit the Bro Down on Tigre for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual insane three way but it did its job well. It’s nice to see the Bro Mans get the win after their finishing move instead of just stealing a pin. I can’t imagine the Wolves don’t get the belts for real over the summer and it looks like we might be leading towards Zema vs. Sanada.

Robbie is a talented guy who has taken a comedy character much further than I was expecting when he debuted. He has the talent to get a character like that over and has made a nice career out of what he’s done. I like his stuff as Robbie Eckos when he was getting to show off his ring skills. There’s nothing wrong with being a comedy character and he’s done quite well for himself.

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TNA One Night Only: Global Impact Japan: The Bound For Glory Preview

Global Impact Japan
Date: July 4, 2014
Location: Ry?goku Kokugikan, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is another One Night Only show with the roster heading to Japan for a show co-promoted by the Wrestle-1 promotion. Naturally, what better day to hold it on thant he Fourth of July? This show has three title matches, all of which have been spoiled on Impact in the four months since this was taped. I hope you like this, as this is very similar to what Bound For Glory is going to be this year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows a lot of the traveling as a voiceover talks about how awesome this is for TNA. Magnus is the main star featured in the video as he was the World Champion when this took place.

Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars

The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.

Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.

Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.

A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.

Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.

A humble Magnus talks about how important of a show this is for both himself and TNA. He and Joe won the GHC Tag Team Titles here about a year ago so he has history in this building. Tonight he’s defending against Kai and promises that it’s going to be a war.

Bad Influence says they’re the best team in the world. This is much more over the top in true Bad Influence style. Tanaka chases them off.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is Knockouts Champion at this point but I believe this is non-title. Rayne gets a quick rollup for two and does the mat humping for two. Tenay and Taz try to talk about some Japanese culture and wrestling history but it’s about as pitiful as you would expect. Gail gets two off a clothesline and hits the running cross body to the ribs in the corner. Madison comes back with a rolling cradle but Gail tries to cheat. The champion isn’t happy and charges into the buckle to stun herself.

Gail puts on the figure four around the post as Taz continues asking about the numbered photographers at ringside. Back up and Madison’s leg is fine as Gail rolls her up for two. A suplex gets the same for Rayne but she gets caught in something like a Death Valley Driver for two. Eat Defeat gets Gail the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. This is the exact same match these two have had about a dozen times and in this case Gail won. I really don’t know what else you want me to say about this one, as their matches have been done so many times and there’s almost nothing more to see them do in the ring.

We hear from some wrestlers who are happy to be in Japan. This looks like deleted scenes from the opening video.

Abyss vs. Yoshihiro Takayama

Takayama is described as the Japanese Abyss. Granted that’s Tenay’s opinion of him so I’d expect the second coming of Petey Williams. It’s a brawl to start of course with the blond haired Takayama being knocked out to the floor early on. Takayama slugs away but gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and they punch each other some more with Takayama nailing a pair of running knees to the chest. Abyss blocks a German suplex and they head outside again.

Four minutes into the match, Tenay casually mentions that Takayama has won the All Japan Triple Crown Title, the GHC Championship and the IWGP Championship. I don’t follow Japanese wrestling and even I know that’s a bigger deal than something you mention four minutes into a match. Abyss takes him to the ramp and pours out the thumbtacks but Takayama fights out of a chokeslam. He tries another German but gets slammed down onto the tacks. Abyss misses a splash and lands in the tacks as well before they brawl to a no contest.

Rating: C-. Take two big guys and let them fight for about seven minutes. This was a mindless but fun brawl and that’s what you would expect out of guys like these two. The tacks were a nice big spot at the end and the shorter you keep an Abyss match, the better things are going to be.

Gail Kim says she’s the best Knockout in the world and screws up the continuity of being Madison’s friend.

Masakatsu Funaki vs. Bobby Roode

Funaki is a technical guy with a very successful MMA background. Feeling out process for the first minute and a half with Roode shouting about how great he is. Bobby takes him down with a headlock but Funaki grabs a much faster headlock of his own to take control. Back up and they stare each other down before Roode tries a forearm.

A stiff kick to the chest puts him down on the floor where he asks Funaki to bring the fight. Funaki obliges and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Bobby sends him shoulder first into the post before wrapping it around the ropes. A knee drop gets two on Funaki and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Funaki fights up and fires off kicks in the corner followed by a hard one to the face.

They chop it out until Roode takes him down with a DDT on the arm. There’s the crossface (more like a crossforehead) but Funaki rolls backwards into a rollup for two. Back up and Funaki tries an ankle lock, only to get pulled back down into the crossface. That goes nowhere so Roode grabs a spinebuster for two. The Roode Bomb is countered into the ankle lock and Bobby taps out.

Rating: B. This was a nice technical match with Roode having good psychology by going after the arm for the entire match before trying the crossface. I would have liked some leg work before the ankle lock but it wasn’t completely out of nowhere. Roode looked good here and the match was fun to watch.

Joe is thrilled to get to face Great Muta tonight. He calls wrestling an international language and says TNA is ready to show what they can do to a new audience.

Keiji Mutoh/Rob Terry/Taiyo Kea vs. Masayuki Kono/Rene Dupree/Samoa Joe

Joe’s team gets the jobber treatment and Mutoh might retire if he loses. Joe and Kea get things going with Joe hammering away in the corner, only to have Kea no sell most of the shots. A big boot has little effect on Joe and an elbow to Kea’s jaw has the same result. Off to Terry vs. Dupree for a posedown before Renee dropkicks Terry’s knee out. Kono comes in to try a double suplex but Terry suplexes both of them at the same time.

Mutoh gets the tag for the power drive elbow before putting Kono in an STF. Back to Kea for chops followed by Terry for some cranking on the arm. Mutoh puts on a sleeper but Dupree gets in a cheap shot. Joe glares at his partner for the cheap shot and does the same thing to Kono, even going so far as to save Mutoh. Apparently he’s fine with backsplashing Mutoh for two and putting on the Koquina Clutch but everything breaks down.

Things settle down and Mutoh mostly misses a dropkick to Joe and the tag brings in Kea. A Russian legsweep gets two on Joe but he comes back with a powerslam. Off to Kono who gets caught in something resmbling a running DDT. Terry gets the tag and gets the crowd to clap a lot before hitting a slow motion Jackhammer. Kea rolls away and tags in Dupree who is quickly backdropped down.

Muta comes in and takes out everyone with dragon screw legwhips before putting Renee in a Figure Four. Kono makes a save so Muta hits Dupree with a Shining Wizard but everything breaks down. Members of the Desperadoes stable comes in to attack Mutoh but Joe won’t help them. He takes a chair from Dupree and headbutts him before walking out, allowing Mutoh to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin on Dupree.

Rating: D+. Well you knew Mutoh wasn’t jobbing here. This match was a big mess though with Joe wanting to do the right thing or whatever it was while all of the people interfered (and Tenay just expected us to know who they were because EVERYONE follows a year old Japanese promotion). This felt like “let’s all love Mutoh” and while he deserves respect, I don’t care for matches that turn into stuff like this. It wasn’t terrible or anything and the story made good sense, but it was messy.

The Wolves talk about how honored they are to perform in this building. They respect Team 246 but don’t think too much of the BroMans.

Tag Team Titles: BroMans vs. Wolves vs. Team 246

One fall to a finish, The Wolves are defending and Team 246 is Kaz Hayashi/Shuji Kondo. These are the TNA Tag Team Titles if that’s not clear. Three people in the ring at once so it’s Robbie, Kaz and Davey getting things going. Kaz and Davey slug it out before they both stare at Robbie, triggering a very Broish scream. Robbie Hulks Up and a single chop from Kaz sends him to the floor. Davey and Kaz get to shout at each other a lot and counter moves until Kaz kicks him down.

Eddie comes in but gets caught by a DDT from Kondo. The BroMans pull everyone to the floor until they head back inside with the Wolves. The champions low bridge the BroMans to the floor before diving onto Team 246. Robbie totally misses a dive so the Wolves hit more stereo dives to take everyone out. Back in and Davey kicks Jesse in the side of the head before an enziguri and missile dropkick put Hayashi down for two.

The BroMans shove the Wolves off the top rope and double team Hayashi. Things settle down with the Wolves staying out of the ring as Kaz gets beaten up even more. Davey finally comes back in but gets gorilla pressed by Jesse and nailed with a middle rope elbow from Robbie. Hayashi shoves the BroMans into each other but Davey kicks Kondo off the apron. Kondo comes in anyway as everything breaks down.

A spinebuster gets two on Edwards and Kondo sends the BroMans together again. Davey comes back with a handspring into a kick to Kondo’s face. Robbie DDTs Kaz down but gets laid out by the Wolves. Kondo powerslams Edwards and some double teaming from 246 gets two. Kaz gets the same off a superkick but Davey makes the save.

Richards kicks both of 246 before slugging it out with Hayashi again. A hugh kick to Kaz’s head sets up a German suplex for two for Davey and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo gets two more. The BroMans send the champions to the floor but Kondo breaks up the Bro Down. Richards kicks Kondo down but gets sent to the floor, setting up the Bro Down to Hayashi for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I still don’t see the appeal of Kaz Hayashi. He didn’t do anything for me in WCW and now he’s not doing anything for me when he has longer hair. The Wolves looked decent but I get really tired of the Japanese style of getting hit in the face a lot and just screaming in response.

Sanada training video.

The BroMans celebrate.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Sanada

Sanada is challenging. They shake hands to start before trading armbars. Now they trade headlocks until Sanada hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch. Sanada rolls him up for two and it’s another standoff. Austin takes him to the mat and rides him a bit before grabbing a few rollups for two each. Aries flips out of a wristlock before dropkicking Sanada in the head for the first real advantage. Sanada is sent to the floor but blocks a suicide dive with a forearm.

Back in and Sanada hammers away in the corner for two but Aries sends him to the floor to break up a springboard attempt. The champion hits a top rope ax handle to the floor before hitting a running elbow off the ramp for two back inside. After working on the neck for a bit, Aries hooks a leg lock to change course. A knee crusher gets two for Aries before they chop it out with Sanada taking over. Aries comes back with a discus forearm to put Sanada on the floor and now the suicide dive connects.

A missile dropkick sends Sanada across the ring but he stays on his feet. Sanada stops a charge with a boot to the face but Austin grabs a crucifix, only to be flipped up into a TKO in a sweet counter. Aries pops back up with a knee crusher into a belly to back suplex, followed by the corner dropkick.

The brainbuster is countered so Aries hits three more running dropkicks, only to have Sanada counter the brainbuster into a suplex. Sanada wins a slugout but Aries grabs him for the brainbuster and two. There’s the Last Chancery but Sanada crawls over to the rope. Aries misses the 450 and a German/dragon/tiger suplex combo gets two for Sanada. A pair of moonsaults give Sanada the title.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good match between these two and it should have been the longest match of the show. Sanada is at least getting to be in TNA longer than the cup of coffee that a lot of foreign wrestlers get in American companies. He’ll get a big match at Bound For Glory and it’s going to be interesting to see where he goes after that.

A stunned Aries rolls up the promoter before raising Sanada’s hand.

Magnus says Kai is good but not good enough.

Here’s a match from Lockdown 2014.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Austin Aries says he makes guys like Sanada raise their game.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Kai

Magnus is defending and Kai won a tournament to get this shot. Feeling out process to start as a lot of TNA guys have come out to watch the match. No one goes anywhere when they fight over a top wristlock so Magnus takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Kai nails three straight dropkicks but Magnus stops him with a forearm. They head up the ramp and fight over a suplex on the stage until the champion takes him over.

Back in and Taz keeps complaining about the referee not being up to his standards. We hit another chinlock followed by a camel clutch to Kai. Taz notices that Kai’s tights say Dress Camp and goes on a rant about summer camp. Kai fights up and sends Magnus to the floor, followed by a suicide dive to take over. Magnus fights out of a powerbomb and kicks away, only to get dropped by a clothesline.

They slug it out with Kai nailing a falcon’s arrow for two. Kai goes up but gets superplexed down, though Magnus can’t follow up. Back up and a springboard enziguri drops Magnus and a running boot to the face gets two. A powerbomb gets two more on the champion but he catches Kai in a Michinoku Driver for a near fall of his own. The top rope elbow gets the same and another Michinoku Driver followed by a second elbow retains Magnus’ title.

Rating: C. It was a pretty good main event style match, but the problem I have with this is the problem I have with almost all shows like this: who is Kai and why should I care about him? Yeah I know he won a tournament, but I have no connection to Kai, have never seen one of his matches or heard him talk. All I know about him I learned in the last fifteen minutes of hearing Tenay and Taz and watching this one match. Wrestling is about connecting with performers, be it through promos or through their matches. With nothing to go off, there’s no reason for me to care about Kai.

A two minute highlight package closes us out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was very different than the rest of the One Night Only shows as there was a completely unique feeling to the show. Now that being said, as I mentioned, I don’t care for most of these shows as I don’t care for Japanese wrestling all that much. The show wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I got excited about watching. I saw some good action but I have no connection to most of them. I don’t care to watch any more Wrestle-1, even though some of it was good stuff. Bound For Glory is going to be a HUGE gamble, but they could make it work under the right circumstances.

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