Saturday Night’s Main Event #33
Date: July 15, 2006
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another special, which is really code for a commercial for the Great American Bash and ultimately Summerslam. These shows don’t mean much in the days of Raw and Smackdown, but there is something about that name that makes it feel special. It helps that the card is fairly stacked so hopefully it works out. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Hulk Hogan and his daughter Brooke (Lawler approves) to open things up. Brooke says it has always been her dream to be here with her dad. Hulk says thank goodness she looks like her mom and talks about being on the first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event. Cue Randy, with a rose, to interrupt. He says Hulk is the biggest legend anywhere and says Brooke is beautiful, even presenting her with the rose. Randy is a Hulkamaniac as well, so he would like to respectively challenge Hulk to a match at Summerslam. Hulk respectively accepts, but doesn’t seem to like how Randy is looking at Brooke. Short and to the point.

Video on Batista.

King Booker/Finlay/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Batista

Lashley sends Finlay into the corner to start and it’s a six man standoff as we take an early break. Back with Finlay slapping a chinlock on Rey before it’s quickly off to Booker. Various things start breaking down, allowing the Leprechaun to slip Finlay the shillelagh to deck Rey for two. Rey is fine enough to kick Henry down (oh dear) but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag to Batista. Booker comes in but Rey dives between their legs and NOW the hot tag brings in Batista. House is cleaned and it’s a 619 to Booker, setting up the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be Henry’s last televised match for about ten months as Henry completely destroyed his knee (the patella was split completely in two) so forget about Batista’s big revenge. The injury shook things up a lot as you can only get so much out of the good guys being up 3-2, but they did what they could. They did what they could, and it could have been a lot worse.

Vince McMahon gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk but DX takes over the audio, turning it into Vince giving the team spanking instructions.

We see highlights of the first round of Diva Bull Riding from earlier today. Victoria and Michelle McCool made the finals.

Melina/Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

The men start but Nitro tags Melina in, meaning Trish has to do the same (come in, not tag Melina). Nitro trips Trish down early on and Melina adds a thumb to the eye (JR: “You wouldn’t see Meredith Vieira doing something like that.”), setting up a double hair takedown. That bangs up Melina as well so it’s a double tag to the men as everything breaks down. The women fight to the floor and the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin. This was really rushed so it didn’t have the chance to go anywhere.

Earlier today, Kevin Von Erich got to make a quick appearance. Nothing wrong with the local legend.

Spirit Squad vs. D-Generation X

Non-title elimination tag and there is a cell on either side of the ring for eliminated members. Shawn says the following thrashing of five male cheerleaders is brought to you by DX, and if you’re not down with that, catchphrase. Shawn gets taken into the corner to start but he manages to grab the megaphone and clean some house. The Squad bails to the floor for a huddle, which HHH breaks up with an air horn. Back in and Shawn superkicks Mitch for the first elimination.

Back from a break with HHH getting rid of Johnny with a spinebuster. Shawn chases Kenny up to the stage, where Vince gets in a chair shot to put Shawn in trouble. They head back to the ring where Shawn suplexes his way out of a sleeper. It’s off to HHH to clean house, including another spinebuster. A double clothesline sets up the Pedigree to get rid of Nicky and it’s 2-2. The superkick gets rid of Mikey and it’s a top rope elbow, followed by Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree to complete the shutout.

Rating: D. You could say this about any match involving these two sides, but what were you expecting? It’s a pair of the best of all time against five goons. It’s almost a miracle that the Squad lasted this long and it isn’t hard to believe that Shawn and HHH could dispatch them this fast. There was no reason to believe this would be a competitive match and it wasn’t but it also wasn’t anything more than a DX workout session.

Post match Vince tries to unlock the cage but Shawn superkicks him inside with the rest of the Squad.

Video on Sabu.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari for a chat. Daivari talks about how awesome Khali is….and here are Big Show and Paul Heyman to interrupt. Show lists off his size and resume and says one day they’ll have to see who the real giant is. That’s for later though, as he wants to put Khali over tonight. He brings up the Punjabi Prison match but here’s Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker goes after Khali and clotheslines him to the floor before going after Show. Khali gets back in and a double chokeslam leaves Undertaker laying.

Post break, Big Show says Undertaker can come face him on ECW if he has the guts.

Stevie Richards vs. Sabu

Extreme Rules. Sabu wastes no time in throwing a chair at Richards, setting up the Triple Jump Moonsault for two. Richards misses a charge in the corner and gets laid on a table, setting up the….flying something with a chair kind of in the same area to drive Richards through an already broken table for the pin. This was vintage WWECW: take away any story, feud, reason for these two for fighting and the character that made Richards work and have a match with weapons for the sake of having weapons, because that’s all ECW was about.

We get Brooke Hogan’s About Us music video.

Randy Orton is talking to Brooke Hogan in the parking lot but Hulk comes in to break that up. The Hogans go to leave but Orton runs back in with an RKO onto the trunk to leave Hulk laying.

Michelle McCool wins the Diva Bull Riding contest. Much like the Diva Search, it’s an excuse to have the Divas in various outfits doing various things that involve a lot of shaking.

Video on John Cena losing the Raw World Title to Rob Van Dam, who lost it to Edge, setting up tonight’s title match (which isn’t a triple threat for Van Dam’s title because Van Dam screwed up).

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Edge is defending and has Lita with him. We get the Big Match Intros and Edge drops straight to the floor, only to have Cena cut him off in a hurry. Edge low bridges him to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Edge hammering away in the corner and loading up a superplex, only to slip off the ropes and crash down hard. The referee makes sure they’re both alive and Edge gets two off a big boot. Cena pops up and initiates the finishing sequence but Lita pulls the referee out. The referee is down and Edge misses a spear, setting up the STFU. Lita slaps the referee to send him back inside to call the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing with barely five minutes factoring out the commercial. The biggest problem was the time, which only gave them a chance for one memorable deal, which wound up being Edge nearly killing both of them (it was just a slip). They’re destined for the real match at Summerslam so for now, this worked out fine for the “we’re out of time but here’s what we promised” main event.

Cena celebrates but thankfully understands what the word DISQUALIFICATION means and immediately knows he didn’t win the title. That’s not cool with Cena, who hits a pretty good looking FU off the steps and through the announcers’ table.

Overall Rating: D. Completely skippable show here and you can see how unimportant this series has become. There is no need for some big special when you have the same thing done every Monday and Friday night. The wrestling wasn’t important, the Undertaker appearance was to set up a guest star spot on ECW and there was a bull riding contest for obvious reasons. Nothing to see here, and thankfully WWE/NBC seemed to understand that, as the next one wasn’t for almost a year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 27, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

Hey it’s Open Fight Night, BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A FREAKING GIMMICK SHOW LAST WEEK! Pay no attention to the fact that these shows never accomplish anything and the ratings keep going down, because clearly these stupid gimmicks are the only thing holding them up as high as they go. The show will likely be fine but man alive I don’t care about this Open Fight thing. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening recap, here’s Bully Ray with something to say. He realizes he and Hogan can’t get along because Hogan won’t trust him. Tonight, he’s calling Hulk out for a talk rather than a fight. The music plays but there’s no Hulk. Instead we get Brooke who says Hulk isn’t here. We get the melodramatic promo from Brooke about how someone had a camera or something because Hulk knows. DOES NO ONE WATCH THEIR OWN TV SHOWS ANYMORE??? Ray denies anything exists and leaves with Brooke trying to talk sense into him.

Here’s Aries who doesn’t care what the fans think of him. He’ll win the title back soon but tonight, he’s going to be in the main event against Roode for costing him the title last week.

Samoa Joe calls out the hammer guy from Aces and 8’s and promises to take his mask.

Samoa Joe vs. Masked Man

Joe pounds away to start but gets beaten down in the corner. The masked guy (I believe Mike Knox) hits the running crotch attack in 619 position but misses a charge in the corner. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but gets kicked away. There’s the Clutch instead and the masked guy is out at 2:56.

Joe goes for the mask but the rest of the bikers come in for the save. Of course they do.

Robbie E and Jesse have a Dude/Bro off. I’m strangely intrigued by this. The challenge is for a Bro Off later rather than a match of course.

Kenny King tells Christian York to watch tonight and maybe he’ll get an X Title match.

It’s time for the Bro Off, which has three rules: every bro for himself, you have to end everything in bro….and the third rule isn’t listed. Apparently this is a dance off. Scratch that as Robbie dances and Jesse poses. Jesse presses Tara over his head but apparently it’s Bros and not Hoes, so Robbie wins by DQ. Robbie T says that’s not it because he’s in this too. He poses as well before pressing Robbie E over his head. T also fist pumps, backflips, does one handed pushups and humps the mat. The look on E and Jesse’s faces are HILARIOUS. T wins apparently.

Van Dam, looking higher than I’ve ever seen him, calls out Christian York instead of Kenny King.

Christian York vs. Rob Van Dam

Feeling out process to start with both guys missing some strikes. York hits a half nelson suplex to take over and a kick to Van Dam’s back to follow up. A rana sends Van Dam to the outside and a missile dropkick back inside for no cover. The Mood Swing (Eve’s rolling neckbreaker) gets two as does a kick out of the corner from York. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but misses a charge in the corner. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault for two and Rolling Thunder for no cover. Five Star gets the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C. Nice spot fest here but literally that’s it. There was nothing between these moves which gets really annoying really fast. York is a guy who they’re at least making look competent, which is all you can ask for with a new guy like him. Also at least there’s something to look at, unlike the other Gut Check people who never show up again.

D-Von talks about getting someone new to join the club. Doc is with some girls and approves of the plan.

We get a package on Joseph Park in OVW. Park: “I’m setting the bar for training.” Danny Davis: “He’s dumber than a box of rocks.” We get the clip of Park morphing into Abyss which was the potential that Davis was looking for.

Bad Influence goes to make sure they don’t have any merchandise on sale. They have a post-Christmas present for everyone.

Remember to vote for Superstar of the Year.

Roode says he’s winning tonight and getting the title back at Genesis.

Sting is still going to be back on 1-3-13.

Daniels dances out to the ring and says greetings and salutations to all you ham sandwiches. He’s the reason AJ hasn’t been around anymore so why not do it one more time? He calls out AJ and naturally it’s Kaz in the AJ gear. Kaz cuts a promo in a GREAT AJ impersonation and says how great Daniels is. Kaz: “I’m not going to wrestle you. I’m going to go find Clair Lynch and….” Daniels: “NO! NOBODY WANTS THAT!”

The tag champions come out and challenge Bad Influence for right now.

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence

Fast paced start with Daniels getting thrown around by Chavo. Off to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly overhead suplex. The champions pound away on Daniels before slamming Kaz onto Daniels for no cover. Daniels begs away from Hernandez and we take a break. Back with Hernandez doing his delayed vertical suplex on Daniels. I’m not sure if any time has actually passed since we left. Things break down and Daniels takes over on SuperMex.

The non-champions hit back to back slingshot strikes on Hernandez to take over. The match drags on and gets very boring in a hurry with the heels in control. After about 8 hours, the lukewarm tag brings in Chavo who hits Three Amigos on Kaz. Bad Influence hits a Hart Attack for two but Hernandez sends them to the floor. The champs hit a double dive to the floor before throwing Kaz back in for the Frog Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but OH MY GOODNESS Chavo and Hernandez are boring. You have Bad Influence getting some of the funniest lines in this company in years and they get to job time after time to this generic Latino tag team. Seriously, that’s the ONLY thing about the champs that sets them apart from any two other guys. They’re the champions and they’re going to have them for a long time, because there is no tag division in TNA.

Hardy has little to say.

Video on Aces and 8’s attacking people with the hammer.

We see the guy that Aces and 8’s wants to join….and it’s Mr. Anderson. He’s offered women to help them out and apparently they’re good enough to sway him into considering it.

Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

You know, for those people who wanted this feud to be picked up again. Tessmacher takes over to start and does the Stinkface thing in the corner. Gail gets knocked to the floor but takes over back inside. Kim loads up a super rana but Tessmacher blocks it, sending Gail down onto her head. FREAKING OW MAN! A dragon sleeper in the corner doesn’t do much for Tessmacher so Gail takes over again. The sloppiness continues but Tessmacher can’t hit that Tesshocker thing of hers. A top rope elbow misses Gail and Eat Defeat ends this at 5:24.

Rating: D. I can’t stand the Knockouts anymore and these two sucking the charisma out of things that don’t even have charisma in the first place are a good reason for that. Nothing to see here at all and I barely have enough to say to fill in the four lines of space that I try to have for each rating.

Next week it’s Aces and 8’s vs. Angle/Joe in a cage. Sure why not.

Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries

Feeling out process to start until Aries sends Roode to the floor. He loads up the suicide dive but stops cold when Roode is waiting on him. We take a break (complete with a Hardy voiceover) and come back to see them hammering on each other before Aries is sat on top. They ring each others’ ears and trade pokes to the eyes. Aries knocks Roode down and tries what looks like an elbow, only to roll through when Roode moves.

Bobby loads up a spear but gets caught in the Last Chancery. Roode pokes the eyes to escape and puts on the Crossface which I guess is his secondary finisher. Aries goes to the eyes as well to escape, showing some nice storytelling here. Roode begs off in the corner but trips Aries up for two with his feet on the ropes.

Aries tries a rollup with trunks for two of his own but walks into the spinebuster for two. Hebner disarms Roode of the chair he picked up, allowing Aries to hit a discus elbow for two. Now Austin brings in the chair but Henber will still have none of it. Hebner goes off on both guys so they both deck him and toss him to the floor, throwing the match out at about 13:00.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this and I’m glad neither guy won. There was no reason to have one guy go over the other and the stereo cheating was a great touch. It’s clear they’re setting up a threeway and that’s probably the right move to go with until we set up Aries vs. Hardy whatever at Lockdown. Good stuff here.

Post match they both go for the chair but Hardy runs out and takes both guys out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The first hour was pretty good but after that this show fell off a cliff. I’m not sure what it was but I think the tag match had something to do with it. The problem with TNA is when something is bad, it’s REALLY bad and that’s what happened here. We’re two weeks away from Genesis and as usual, we have NOTHING scheduled yet. The three way is pretty obvious, but other than that the card could go in a lot of directions. By this point though, we should have hit some stops as we head in a direction.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch

Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian

Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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The more I think about this the less I like it.  Yeah the guy is injured and will likely never wrestle again, but are you telling me there isn’t some job for him in the company?  You can’t even have the guy answer the phones?  Now obviously if he asked for his release or is being given a backstage job (which I believe he already had) that’s a different story, but the guy had his neck broken working for you all.  If you can afford Brooke Hogan and Garrett Bischoff, you can afford this guy.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 20, 2013
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is the start of the BFG Series which will run for the next three months heading into the biggest show of the year in October. Perhaps more interesting though is Sting reforming the Main Event Mafia tonight to aid him in his war against Aces and 8’s. It’s also the return of Open Fight Night as the summer begins for TNA. Let’s get to it.

Sting arrives to open the show, dressed to the nines in a suit and sunglasses sans paint.

We open in the arena with every BFG Series member other than Hardy and Roode. Hogan comes out to hype up Open Fight Night before calling out the two missing competitors. Everyone in the Series will get to have a match tonight and it’s Hardy who gets the first pick due to winning a fan vote. Before he can make his pick though, Austin Aries cuts him off.

Austin says he’d love to be the man that gets to face Hardy first but Jeff is too scared to do that. Christopher Daniels warns Hardy not to pick either he or Kazarian unless Jeffery wants to suffer the most demoralizing defeat of his career to start the Series. Hardy finally gets to talk and picks Bobby Roode in a not very surprising announcement. Jeff tells the Creatures to mount up and everyone brawls as we go to a break.

For clarity’s sake, every match in the Series tonight comes with a callout beforehand. I won’t bother recapping them as it’s just guys saying who they want to fight. The person listed first is the person who got to call the second person out.

Here’s how the scoring works for the Series:

10 – Submission
7 – Pinfall
5 – Countout
2 – DQ Victory
2 – Draw
-10 – DQ Loss

Also each match has a 15 minute time limit.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Joseph Park

Anderson takes him to the mat with a headlock to start before slapping Park in the back of the head. He lets Park grab his own headlock, only to counter just as easily. A legsweep takes Park down and Anderson is making this look easy. Park grabs his own headlock out of nowhere and wrestles Anderson down before slapping him in the back of the head in a cute bit. Anderson is ticked off and kicks Park’s knee out before pounding him down in the corner. Park avoids a splash in the corner and gets two off a quick rollup as things pick up a bit.

A neckbreaker puts Park down and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Park’s comeback is cut short by a pull of the hair but Anderson misses a Swanton. Joseph makes a quick comeback but misses a splash in the corner, allowing Anderson to hit the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Park pulls Anderson’s legs out for a Boston crab but here’s Doc for a distraction to break it up. Park slams Anderson down but Doc shoves him off the middle rope while Anderson has the referee, allowing Anderson to hit the Mic Check for the pin and seven points at 5:06.

Rating: C-. This was fine and Park being the fall guy at first isn’t a bad idea. You can push him as getting more experience as the competition goes on and making a hard charge at the end, perhaps with some assistance from his brother. The match wasn’t anything great but Anderson winning could make for some interesting situations down the line.

Post break Anderson and Doc argue over who is going to be the next VP of the club. Ray says we’ll put it to a vote because tonight he has to deal with his wife Brooke.

Bound For Glory Series: Jay Bradley vs. Austin Aries

Aries takes it to the floor almost immediately and hits a big plancha off the top rope. Back in and Aries hits the slingshot elbow drop but can’t hook the Last Chancery. Austin goes up again and gets kicked down to the floor before a knee drop to the chest gets a near fall for Bradley. Some fast elbow drops get two for Jay but he misses a running boot into the corner, getting himself caught on the top rope.

Aries fires off kicks to the leg and gets two off a missile dropkick. Bradley kicks Aries out of the air as he tries the corner dropkick but Austin blocks the Boomstick with a discus forearm. Another Boomstick is ducked and Aries grabs a quick powerbomb followed by the corner dropkick. The brainbuster to Bradley is good for the pin and seven points at 3:39.

Rating: C. The more I see of Bradley the more I like him. He has a ring presence to him which is something you can’t teach anyone to have. He’s here to be the fall guy in the Series but I see some decent potential in him in years to come. Decent little match here with the exactly right result.

We look at Sting announcing the Main Event Mafia’s reformation last week.

Sting says the Mafia grows tonight.

Post break Sting asks someone if they’re in the Mafia. The unseen guy shakes his hand and apparently Sting has a deal.

Chavo gives Hernandez a pep talk for his match.

Bound For Glory Series: Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels goes right at him to start but gets caught in the overhead belly to belly from Hernandez. Chris takes the eyes to take over but Hernandez powers out and slugs Daniels down. The running dive from the apron takes Daniels down as Hernandez is bleeding from the mouth. Daniels dives into what appeared to be an Alpha Bomb (slam into a powerbomb) but slips away and hits a low blow to put SuperMex down. The BME pins Hernandez at 2:19 to give Daniels seven points.

Bound For Glory Series: Kazarian vs. Magnus

Magnus knocks him to the floor to start but Kaz comes back in with a forearm to the face and a cravate. Kaz’s spinning crossbody is countered into a very modified powerslam/suplex for two as the crowd is into Magnus. The Brit no sells a missile dropkick (Kaz was supposed to miss but connected anyway), allowing Magnus to hook a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:54 for ten points. That’s a good move that someone needs to bring back.

Hulk is on the phone and saying things feel perfect when Bully Ray comes up to him holding a hammer. Hogan grabs him by the throat and wants to fight right now. Hulk says Ray and Brooke are done tonight but Ray asks him why Brooke stopped the shot to the head with the hammer a few weeks back.

Here’s Brooke Hogan for the state of the Knockouts division address. Eric Young and ODB have the KO Tag Title belts again. Dang it all. Mickie gets her own special entrance and thinks she’s the one giving the speech tonight. She brags about being so awesome and says it’s easier for her to carry the title on her shoulder than it is on Velvet’s bad knee.

Brooke cuts her off and wants to start with Eric Young. She reminds him of a chat they had a year and a half ago and Eric says that technically he isn’t a woman. He hands Brooke the KO tag belts and says that it’s National Kissing Day. Eric kisses ODB and they run off to the back. As for Velvet, she gets her rematch next week because her knee is fine. Gail Kim wants her own rematch which she’ll get in Las Vegas….against Taryn, in a ladder match.

After a quick talk from the announcers, Hulk sends Brooke home for the night due to fear of Ray.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

No callout here as these are the last two guys left (Tenay: “You can tell by process of elimination.” Or the graphic we saw before the break) but AJ has something to say. With all the lights dark, AJ says that this isn’t about Aces and 8’s, TNA, the fame, the glory or the money. It’s about not needing a hero because he’s tired of doing things for everyone else. Joe pounds him into the corner to start but AJ grabs a headlock to slow him down.

After a good while in the hold, Joe fights up but misses a running boot into the ropes. AJ pounds away in the corner and drops Joe with a clothesline. Joe misses a charge in the corner but catches AJ with the enziguri to put him on the floor. The Samoan tries a charge but has to land on his feet as AJ slides back in. AJ’s dive lands on the apron but Joe kicks his leg out to ram AJ face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Joe elbowing AJ in the face and pounding in some headbutts. AJ hits a quick dropkick to send Joe to the floor where a baseball slide puts Joe into the announce table. We’re told there are five minutes left which tells me TNA has a fast clock. Back in and AJ hits the springboard forearm but can’t suplex the plump Samoan. Instead AJ charges into a snap powerslam but he rolls out of a cross armbreaker attempt.

Joe looks for a superplex but AJ falls on top of him in a kind of crossbody for no cover instead. Back up and AJ pounds away but Joe punches him into the corner and fires off knee lifts. AJ rolls him into the Calf Killer but Joe sits up into the Koquina Clutch. AJ rolls out of that into a cradle for two as we have a minute left. They slug it out with thirty seconds left and head to the mat but the clock runs out at 13:40 for a time limit draw, good for two points each.

Rating: C+. These two are always worth seeing and this was no exception. You can’t have AJ tap out here as it would make him look pretty lame, but you also don’t want to have Joe lose this early in the Series. This was a solid TV match but as soon as you hear the time limit being announced you could smell the draw.

Ray is on the phone with Brooke and talks her into coming back tonight. He sends D-Von, Doc and Knux out to get her here safely.

Hulk talks to Sabin, Suicide and Kenny King about their match next week and how the winner can trade in the title for a shot at Ray in July.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

The brawl starts on the ramp with Hardy taking over as they get to the ring. Roode takes him straight down into the Crossface but Jeff makes a rope before too much damage is done. Bobby catapults him throat first into the bottom rope before stomping away on the downed enigma. A vertical suplex sets up a knee drop for two and Roode keeps pounding on Jeff.

Hardy gets up a boot in the corner and hits a middle rope splash for two as momentum swings. An atomic drop sets up the low dropkick for two on Bobby but he grabs a quick spinebuster for two of his own. Jeff counters the fisherman’s suplex into the Twisting Stunner, but Roode rolls away from the Swanton. Bobby throws the Crossface back on but Hardy rolls through into a cradle for two. Another Twist hits for the pin on Roode and seven points at 6:15.

Rating: C+. This was the short version of the good match these two are capable of. You know Hardy is going to make a deep run in the Series so seeing him win early on isn’t a big surprise. Roode will do fine in this as well as you need a strong heel later on in the competition. Good start here for both guys.

Sting says we have some Family business to tend to tonight.

Here’s Ray to close the show. He talks to the three X Division guys who think they’re going to take the title from him in July. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep the title, but he has more important things to talk about tonight. Ray calls out Brooke but gets Sting with the Main Event Mafia music instead. Sting says he went back to his family because he can’t wrestle for the title again. That doesn’t mean he can’t get retribution on Ray tonight though.

Sting takes off his jacket and gets ready to fight before taking off his shirt. Ray calls out for the bikers but we see all of them down in the back. Sting goes after Ray and chases him up the ramp, only to have Kurt Angle, rocking a suit, take Ray down and put him in the ankle lock as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C+. The matches weren’t great tonight, but there was a clear direction here that we haven’t seen since Lockdown. The entire spring was spent building up to a filler show at Slammiversary, so having something to build up to with BFG is a very nice breath of fresh air. Sting and Angle as the Main Event Mafia is interesting but it’s something we’ve seen before: TNA’s old guys against the Aces and 8’s. It still should be entertaining though. Good show tonight.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Joseph Park – Mic Check

Austin Aries b. Jay Bradley – Brainbuster

Christopher Daniels b. Hernandez – BME

Magnus b. Kazarian – Texas Cloverleaf

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe went to a time limit draw

Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Twist of Fate

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

We’re live again tonight and in the new location of Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the big live show that is more or less the PPV special of the month, featuring the Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match between Hardy and Ray for the title, AJ vs. Storm and a few other major matches. This show was hyped up very well over the last few weeks and it should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ’s dilemma of which side he should pick in the war between TNA and Aces and 8’s. We also look at the other matches tonight, including Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell and Aries/Roode vs. Guerrero/Hernandez for the tag titles.

Hogan greets hardy.

We get an intro sequence which looks like opening credits.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending and if they win, Chavo and Hernandez can never team again. This is also 2/3 falls. The challengers have a boxing legend whose name I couldn’t catch here with them, carrying a Texas flag. The champions jump the challengers as they get the boxer a seat and the brawl is on fast. Roode sends Aries into the corner to dropkick Chavo, who stumbles into a a Roode spinebuster for the first fall at 35 seconds.

Aries immediately tries a Frog Splash on Chavo but only hits mat, letting Chavo hit a quick rollup to tie things up at 1:38. Aries pounds away on Chavo but it’s Roode hitting a big slam for two. A slingshot hilo by Aries keeps Chavo in trouble and a Ted DiBiase fist drop gets two. Back to Roode who escapes a tornado DDT but gets caught by a Chavo dropkick. Hernandez is nowhere to be seen though as he was sent into the steps in the pre-match attack.

Actually scratch that as he’s back up and gets the tag to clean house. A gorilla press puts Aries down and there’s the big running charge down the ramp to jump back into the ring for a double clothesline to take the champions down. We take a break and come back with Aries diving off the top onto Hernandez for two. We get a long shot of the Spanish announcers as Roode hooks a quick chinlock followed by a necksnap, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back of Hernandez’s neck by Aries.

Hernandez finally comes back with a double clothesline to put the champions down and there’s the hot tag to Chavo. He comes in with a slingshot hilo to Roode and a headscissors sends Bobby to the outside. Chavo hits a big dive onto Aries and Roode for a near fall back inside. There are two Amigos to Aries and three of them for Roode. Aries breaks up the Frog Splash and Roode gets a rollup for two. Off to the Crossface on Chavo but Hernandez breaks it up. Hernandez tries another dive but takes out Chavo by mistake.

Roode only gets two from the mistake but there’s a HARD dropkick in the corner from Aries. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT but Austin makes another save at two. Aries loads up a superplex but Hernandez pulls him off into Border Toss position. The champions have a double suplex countered and Chavo hits the Frog Splash onto Roode for the pin and the titles at 15:13.

Rating: B. As is the case with every match the new champions have, it was entertaining but it does nothing for me because they’re so ridiculously uninteresting. I was hoping for the titles to stay on Roode/Aries here, but we have to appease the Texas crowd right, because Texas is AWESOME.

Brooke Hogan shrugs off some sexual harassment from Joey Ryan and tells him he has a match tonight.

Aces and 8’s arrive and they’re actually on motorcycles for once.

Here’s Joseph Park to discuss some business. He has issues with Aces and 8’s and Bully Ray in particular. What Aces and 8’s have been doing to TNA is nothing short of felonious and just mean, so it’s time for justice to be served by Jeff Hardy tonight. Once Hardy wins the title though, it’s not over. Park is a divorce lawyer and he has drawn up a writ of annulment for Brooke and Bully which will be filed soon.

Cue D-Von who takes the paper and rips it up. If Park has a problem with Ray, he has a problem with D-Von, so stay out of family business. D-Von goes to leave but sneaks up on Park and lays him out with a chain shot to the ribs.

We get a video package on Terrell vs. Kim.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

ODB is guest referee. Taryn starts fast with a suplex for two and a monkey flip puts Gail down. Kim pulls her off the middle rope and stomps away before dropping Taryn with a forearm. Gail chokes awayo n the ropes but stops to get in ODB’s face. A rollup gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the tights. During the argument between Gail and ODB, Taryn gets a rollup of her own for the pin at 2:30.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week.

Magno gets the shot in the ring.

We look at AJ’s issues and him walking out on TNA.

Hogan says he’s nervous about getting the world title back but first up, it’s AJ’s time on the clock.

AJ has nothing to say to a TNA cameraman. Anderson brings him another vest.

Video on Hardy vs. Ray tonight.

Here’s Hogan to call out AJ Styles for his decision. AJ comes out and Hulk gives him an ultimatum. Styles isn’t pleased and says he doesn’t react well to demands, but here’s Storm to interrupt. James says he isn’t here to deliver ultimatums or even to drink beer. Instead it’s for a fight and they lock eyes, but here’s Bad Influence. Kaz says they’re here to mend fences and not throw fists. They see through everything going on here because they’re both sexual and intellectual.

Thunderlips (Hogan) is trying to get AJ to join TNA, which is a good idea because Aces and 8’s are destroying his company. Aces and 8’s are smart to try to recruit TNA’s best soldier of the last eleven years. Daniels says it’s a bad idea for AJ to join either, because they’ll just chew AJ up and spit him out. Therefore, AJ should join up with Bad Influence.

Daniels brings up Hogan and Dixie turning their backs on AJ and brags about all the world titles “they” won together. AJ gets annoyed and shakes a bit, but Storm gets in his face. Styles leaves the ring and looks at Bad Influence before walking away. Hogan begs again and makes Styles vs. Storm next week.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry

Joey is scared to death and is immediately run over with chops and shoulder blocks. Two boots in the corner from Joey are easily blocked and it’s a powerslam to plant him down. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends Ryan at 2:30. Total squash.

Brooke tells Hulk she has to be at ringside for the main event. Matt Morgan pops up and says that it’s another Hogan mistake, like not making him #1 conteder at Lockdown. Morgan says that those mistakes will keep happening and then they’ll all come crashing down on him.

It’s time for Gut Check. Danny Davis isn’t sure but eventually says no. Magno cuts a promo that is barely understandable as English isn’t his first language. Pritchard says Magno isn’t ready yet so it’s no, which ends this.

Bully Ray makes Aces and 8’s promise not to interfere tonight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Full Metal Mayhem which is TNA’s version of TLC, as in you have to climb a ladder and pull the belt down. Brooke Hogan is at ringside as well. Ray yells at his wife before the bell and Brooke looks irritated. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner and Poetry in Motion to start and Ray is in early trouble. The challenger brings in a chair and cracks Ray over the back with it before bringing in the first ladder of the match. Jeff makes an early try for the belt but Ray tips the ladder over.

A mule kick staggers Ray but Bully backdrops Jeff onto the ramp to take over. Ray whips him in the back with the chain but Hardy still pops up to slug it out on top of the ladder. Hardy gets suplexed down off the ladder as we take a break. Back with Hardy getting off a table and blasting Ray on the ropes with a chair. Hardy turns a ladder upside down but can’t superplex Ray onto it due to high levels of fat.

Instead Ray comes back with a front suplex to crush Hardy’s ribs against the steel. Some chair shots to the legs keep Hardy in trouble and Ray brings in another ladder. The table is still set up in the ring. Ray shouts about beating up Hardy and then keeping the title then slapping Brooke around, but the distraction lets Jeff get in some shots of his own. Ray takes Hardy back down but goes to the floor to yell at Brooke for a LONG time. Brooke finally slaps him and here comes Hardy.

Jeff slams Ray into the steps and puts him on a table….which immediately breaks. Hardy goes all the way to the entrance of the arena to get a table but a Twist of Fate keeps Ray down. Jeff puts Ray on the table for a BIG Swanton to the floor and both guys are down. Hardy goes up the ladder in the ring but Taz hands Ray a hammer. Ray goes up the ladder but hits Hardy with his fist instead of the hammer. Jeff gets his hand on the belt but a hammer to the head knocks him off and through the table. Ray retains the title at 17:10.

Rating: B. Solid match here and that Swanton was great. It wasn’t as great as most of the TLC matches but at the same time, we’ve seen these guys do this so often over the years that it’s kind of hard to get new stuff out there over and over again. That being said, it was entertaining which is exactly what it needed to be.

Aces and 8’s come in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This did indeed feel like a PPV quality show. It does drag in the middle and we didn’t get anything with AJ other than Bad Influence being interested in him, but other than that we got everything we were supposed to get. The main event delivered and it was still a hard hitting back and forth match with some close calls by Hardy. Good, solid show overall as TNA continues to do very well with the new style.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Frog Splash to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Joey Ryan – Fireman’s carry into a spinebuster

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Ray pulled down the title belt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 4, 2013
Location: ASU Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley

We’re still in Arkansas as we’re heading towards Corpus Christi and the PPV level TV show next week. The main issues tonight will be Hogan and Sting continuing their bickering along with Gut Check featuring luchador Magno and former NWA World Champion Adam Pearce in what should be an interesting match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of Brooke being tormented by Bully, Sting and Hogan’s issues, and AJ walking away from Storm. Jeff Hardy won a #1 contender match as well and picked Full Metal Mayhem for next week.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open the show. Anderson gets the mic and says he has a special package here. He talks about AJ and how the company had his back when he needed them. Then once they stopped needing Styles, TNA turned its back on him. They have a vest for him anytime he’s ready. D-Von has an envelope which will give a new meaning to Bully and Brooke’s relationship. D’Lo has a gift as well: his termination from TNA’s front offices. That’s not enough for him as he thinks he should have gotten a phone call or a meeting. Brown wants someone to come out here and fire him to his face.

Instead he gets Kurt Angle who says he’ll say something to Brown’s face. Kurt gets in the ring with D’Lo, D’Von and Anderson and goes right for Brown. Aces and 8’s come in and the brawl is on. Cue the TNA cavalry for the save and the bikers bail to the floor. Apparently there’s a ten man tag later tonight.

Joey Ryan comes up to Brooke in the back but Brooke isn’t interested. Sex jokes are made and Joey wants to be the Knockouts referee. Brooke says ok to get rid of him. No touching the Knockouts though.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/Taryn Terrell

Joey Ryan is referee and spanks Velvet to get things going. It’s Sky vs. Tara to start things off and with Velvet holding a headlock, Joey massages her shoulders. Off to Taryn who sends Gail out for a tag. Taryn keeps rolling Tara up but Joey keeps getting good looks instead of counting. Velvet and Taryn hit a double elbow on Tara but Joey looks up Velvet’s skirt and rubs his chest. Since the joke has been done once, we’ll repeat it another twenty times in three minutes.

Tara’s boyfriend Jesse gets jealous but Tara calls him off. Joey gets shoved away when looking at the shaky moonsault, allowing Velvet to move. Hot tag brings in Taryn to beat up Gail with a nice top rope cross body. Everything breaks down and Gail clears the ring, allowing for some more of the EXACT SAME THING Joey has done all match. Gail plays with his mustache but gets rolled up….as Joey is stripping. Gail reverses the rollup into one of her own and Joey fast counts the pin on Taryn at 5:28.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of comedy I can’t stand: the kind where you’re beaten over the head with the joke over and over again because apparently the fans are too dense to get it the first time. I have no idea what the appeal of Ryan is because he’s nothing in the ring and the fact that he’s horny isn’t exactly an in depth character. Lots of good visuals here, but the wrestling was nothing of note.

Post match Velvet hits Joey low.

Aries/Roode and Chavo/Hernandez are in the ring for the contract signing for the title match next week. Aries calls himself and Roode a team of world champions instead of the world tag team champions. Roode asks both challengers if they’ve ever been a world champion and Aries answers for them. Chavo says he’s a Guerrero so he’s awesome. Oh and Hernandez is really strong.

Aries says that they should up the ante a bit: the winners should get more money, a fruit basket, and green M&Ms. Chavo says something we can’t hear and the champions huddle. Austin wants one more clause….which we also don’t see. Apparently the match is 2/3 falls and if Chavo/Hernandez lose, they can never team up again. Everyone signs and we have a match.

We get a video on Adam Pearce who has been a professional for 17 years. He’s been a four time world champion and this might be his last chance. Pearce has been in the ring with some of TNA’s top talent before and he can beat them, so he’s more ready than any other Gut Check contestant.

Magno talks about training for fifteen years for this chance. Watch him because he’s going to do something no one else ever has done.

Gut Check: Magno vs. Adam Pearce

Magno is pretty tall for a luchador. Feeling out process to start with Adam trying to take it to the mat, only to be flipped away with a wristlock and armdrag. Pearce takes it into the corner but charges into some boots, only to come back with a backdrop for two. Magno comes back with a springboard moonsault but lands square on his head. He seems to be fine but that looked BAD.

Pearce counters another springboard into a hard spinebuster for two Magno flips over to the apron and comes back with some clotheslines and an enziguri in the corner. Pearce goes to the floor and Magno (partially) hits a moonsault press to take Adam down. Back in and Pearce trips Magno up for a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D+. Neither guy was very impressive here as Pearce was pretty generic and Magno wasn’t much better. That botch was scary looking and neither guy was anything special out there. Pearce is probably the better prospect but I’d bet it goes to Magno because of the finish. Not much here overall though.

Aces and 8’s give AJ a vest but he doesn’t seem thrilled. He doesn’t give it back though.

We recap the Sting/Hogan fiasco over Bully Ray.

Hogan says Sting is in a gray area and not here tonight.

Angle and Park fire each other up for the ten man tag.

Here’s Hulk to talk about gut feelings and wanting to talk to people. He wants to talk to AJ Styles and here’s the Phenomenal One, still carrying the biker vest. Hogan talks to AJ about holding up under pressure but then last year he started to slip. AJ started to change, but TNA is still his family. Hogan says TNA needs AJ Styles but instead he gets James Storm with something to say. Storm says he was the guy who beat AJ last, but everyone loses big matches.

What bothers Storm was AJ walking away when Storm was beaten down by Aces and 8’s. James has been here since day one just like AJ and he’s been here for the people every night. AJ isn’t the same guy who was at the Fairgrounds in the old days of TNA. Storm says Styles needs to leave before he gets knocked out, so AJ walks away, looking down at the vest in his hands.

Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Mason Andrews

Winner gets a title shot, presumably next week. Everyone starts with fast near falls until Andrews has to back away from a potential double team. A quick dropkick gets two on Williams for Dutt but Petey comes back with a suicide dive to take out Andrews. Dutt joins them on the floor and it’s Andrews taking over. Back inside and a backbreaker gets two on Williams but Andrews has to knock Dutt off the apron. A middle rope elbow gets two on Williams but Dutt is back in as well with an octopus hold on Petey.

Andrews breaks that up but can’t hit something out of a fireman’s carry on Williams. Dutt comes back in with a springboard dropkick to both guys at once. A kick in the corner puts Andrews on the ropes and there’s a springboard legdrop to the back of his head, followed by a springboard splash for two.

Petey is back in and decks Andrews but hits a Russian legsweep and short range Downward Spiral on Dutt. The Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) is broken up and Andrews hits a quick top rope rana on Williams. Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bred on Andrews but a top rope double stomp misses. The Destroyer hits Andrews to give Williams the shot at 5:19.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was fun, but this is the exact same thing we see from the X-Division every time: no story, the same stealing pin attempts, the same fast finishes. Yeah they’re flashy, but it gets really monotonous after awhile. But hey, EVERY MATCH IS A THREE WAY, so it has to be interesting right? I mean, why put effort into it when you can put a one size fits all sticker on there?

Ray fires up the bikers for the ten man tag later. He’s looking forward to talking to Brooke too.

We run down the card for next week’s big episode.

Aces and 8’s vs. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Joseph Park/Magnus/Eric Young

None of the bikers want to start with Angle so he pulls in Brisco for the beatdown. Angle punches Wes into the corner until he gets bored and brings in Garrett. Bischoff gets the same beating in the corner and now it’s off to Magnus for a slam into a suplex for no cover. Off to Joe vs. D-Von and the corner enziguri has the TV Champion (D-Von) stggered. A knee drop gets two for Joe but it’s off to Knux.

Joe hits a running knee to the face to put him down and here’s Eric to drop an ax handle on the arm. Knux pounds away on Eric but gets sent to the floor where Eric hits a big slingshot dive to take him out again as we take a break. Back with Knux in control of Young and throwing him over the top and out to the floor. It’s off to Doc for some power stuff before D-Von comes in for all of his usual stuff: punches, shoulder block, nerve hold, Spinarooni etc.

Doc comes back in and breaks up a hot tag bid, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Park who cleans house and is very excited about doing so. A splash gets two on Brisco as everything breaks down. We finally get down to D-Von, Joe and Park in the ring but Joe dives through the ropes to take out Knux. D-Von hits a spinebuster on Park but misses the flying headbutt. Park has to deal with the other bikers and gets caught by a low blow from Doc for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: C. Just a big tag match here which didn’t do much for me. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s still aren’t intimidating and still aren’t interesting outside of Bully. This angle is rapidly becoming just another generic monster stable which has been done so many times before that it stops being interesting in a hurry. The match was ok but nothing to see here for the most part.

Brooke tells Hulk not to worry about her. She’ll have protection for her meeting with Bully tonight. No more drama.

Here’s Bully to talk about the Full Metal Mayhem match next week against Hardy. Why would Hardy pick a match like that against Ray? For right now though, Ray wants Brooke to come out here so here’s that stupid theme song of hers as she’s flanked by security. Ray wants to know where her ring is. He also wants to know what’s with the security guards. At Lockdown she was panicking when she should have been excited for her husband to win the world title.

As for the envelope, it’s a pair of front row tickets for next week so that Brooke can be there when Ray retains the title. Oh and she needs to look better because Ray thinks she’s been letting herself go. Brooke slaps him in the face but Ray says he’s in her head, just like he’s been in her since day one. Cue Hardy for the brawl to set up the main event next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but again the live shows are just better. The ending segment was fine but would have been better had it not been for Brooke. I can’t bring myself to care about her problems when she’s here because of her rich daddy and nothing more. Ray continues to be awesome, but the rest of the bikers are just lame overall. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t bad but it was nothing memorable. It appears that Brooke goes Aces and 8’s next week.

Results

Gail Kim/Tara b. Taryn Terrell/Velvet Sky – Rollup to Terrell

Adam Pearce b. Magno – Rollup

Petey Williams b. Mason Andrews and Sonjay Dutt – Canadian Destroyer to Andrews

Aces and 8’s b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Eric Young/Magnus/Joseph Park – Low blow to Park

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

This was a big story last night and deserves a bit more attention.First and foremost, I did like the end result of last night’s show.  Having Ray be revealed as the President of Aces and 8’s was the right move and was one of the few places they could go to extend the life of the whole stupid angle.  Ray screwing over the Hogans for the sake of winning the world title with it being a plan all along was perfectly logical as it’s Ray’s nature to be a self serving jerk.  The lines of “I used you and I screwed you” and “D-Von let her cry” were straight MONEY.  Also, IT ISN’T BISCHOFF.

However this doesn’t solve everything.  At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s have still been the most inept stable of the last like…..ever.  They never win anything of note and they lost again last night in their other big match.  Also, Ray is now basically the leader of the Eight Stooges.  They’re still a bunch of losers and you can’t use the logic of “now that they have a leader” because Ray has clearly been the leader for months.  Oh and one more thing: why did Ray give Hardy a chain?  I know he had everything in hand, but it was still an unneeded risk.

As for where this is going now, it appears that we’re headed for either Hogan or Sting vs. Ray at Slammiversary before we get to presumably AJ or Storm taking the title at Bound For Glory.  If we have to get one of those matches, Sting is BY FAR the better option, as he can at least, you know, move.  There are some other downsides to this development also.

Above all else, it means Brooke talking.  The story continues to be mainly about them rather than ANYONE else and Brooke just isn’t interesting at all.  She’s annoying, she’s whiny, she’s not talented, and she’s on TV more than any other female in the company.  Also I don’t really want to spend the next few months hearing about how Aces and 8’s are taking over and all that jazz.  The last thing we need is another corporate takeover angle.  Having them be the dominant faction is fine, but we don’t need another takeover.  It’s been done WAY too many times.

Overall, it’s good but it doesn’t solve all of Aces and 8’s problems, nor does it make up for the months and months of terrible stuff.