Impact Wrestling
Date: February 14, 2013
Location: Wembly Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re in London for the next two weeks and we’re getting really close to Lockdown, which apparently won’t be all cage matches. We do however need a main event so odds are things are going to be announced tonight. The crowds have been hot lately so hopefully they’ll be able to keep that streak going tonight. Let’s get to it.

After the LONG recap, here’s Hogan to open the show. He announces a tournament of four matches tonight for the title shot against Hardy. The matches are Storm vs. RVD, Joe vs. Angle, Magnus vs. Daniels and Aries vs. Roode. Instead of brackets though, it’s whoever the fans like best getting the shot. This brings him to Aces and 8’s, who apparently want a war. Gee they’ve been terrorizing the place for 7 months so now you’ve finally figured that out Hulk? Anyway Sting is apparently the captain and he says that he’ll be looking for teammates tonight.

Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus

The obvious crowd favorite takes over with a fast shoulder block but Daniels rams him into the corner to slow him down. A suplex keeps the pressure on Daniels but Kaz interferes, allowing Daniels to hit an STO to take Magnus down. Off to a neck crank by Daniels and the release Rock Bottom puts Magnus down. The BME attempt misses though and a big boot puts Daniels down. Kaz interferes and gets ejected, firing up the crowd. Back in and a clothesline puts Chris down and a falcon’s arrow does the same. A top rope elbow is enough to end Daniels at 5:06.

Rating: C. Magnus continues to impress while he’s actually out there, but unfortunately since we’re out of England after next week, the odds are that he leaves the main show too. Daniels and Kaz didn’t get to do anything funny tonight which is their main strength at the moment. Decent match here but not bad.

Brooke tries to make Bully feel better about being hurt and not being in the title shot. They plan a date.

Magnus makes a plea to Hogan to get the title match.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start but Joe pounds him into the corner. A snapmare sets up the chop to the back and a running knee drop for two. Angle comes back with a fast belly to belly overhead as we hear about the history between these two. Angle hits a back elbow to put both guys down again as we take a break. Back with Joe hitting the running elbow through the ropes to take over again. Back in and the backsplash gets two for the fat man, but Kurt rolls the Germans to take over.

Angle charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner but as Joe puts Kurt on the top rope, Angle hits a missile dropkick for two. Joe pops right back up though and puts on the Clutch, only to have Angle reverse into the ankle lock. That gets reversed too and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Not that it matters though as Aces and 8’s come in for the no contest at 11:33.

Rating: C+. These two have good matches with each other in their sleep (or drug induced haze in Angle’s case) so the match was going to be good here no matter what. The ending sucks but I’m guessing these four (Bischoff and Brisco interfered) are having a tag match at Lockdown. Other than that, nothing to see here.

Angle and Joe clear the ring post match.

Dixie talks to the British Boot Camp losers.

Blossom Twins/Party Marty vs. Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz

The guys start things off and Jesse takes over early. Marty kind of misses a moonsault out of the corner and we take a break. Back from the break and it’s off to one of the Blossoms vs. Tara. A dropkick gets two for the rookie (apparently Hannah rather than Holly) but it’s a double sideslam for two on the champ. Gail comes in to pull on let’s say Holly’s hair and the heels take over. Tara throws around I think Holly as get into a really long and dull beatdown segment on the Blossom.

Tara beats on her, Gail beats on her, Tara comes back in and the moonsault hits knees, allowing for the hot tag to Hannah. The Blossoms beat up the other girls and hit a nice double team splash onto Tara. Jesse comes in to be a bully but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Marty BADLY misses a dive to the floor, but I think it was more on Jesse than Marty. Hannah walks into Eat Defeat from Gail for the pin at approximately 11:00.

Rating: D. I’m not a fan of women’s wrestling and this was pretty lame even by Knockout standards. It went on WAY too long and we here in America have almost no idea who these rookies are. Why in the world would I care about a guy named Party Marty? The match was watchable due to the Blossoms’ looks, but other than that there wasn’t much going on.

Gail wants the title so here’s Brooke to make Velvet vs. Tara vs. Gail vs. Tessmacher next week for the title.

We recap Dixie saying the show is going on the word permanently.

We recap Jeff’s knee injury. He’ll be back in two weeks.

James Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

James starts with a fast kick to the head but RVD kicks him right back down and hits the Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same but Storm hits a fast DDT to take RVD down. A punch to Rob’s face does little damage but an Alabama Slam out of the corner gets two for James. Closing Time hits but Van Dam blocks the Last Call with that stepover kick to the jaw. The Five Star is broken up but Van Dam kicks Storm into the other corner. There’s the freaking Van Terminator but it only hits ropes, allowing Storm to knock him out cold with the Last Call for the pin at 5:38.

Rating: C+. Good back and forth match here that was needing more time. Thankfully Storm seems to be at least getting a chance in the title scene again. If nothing else it’s better than fighting Godderz over and over again. Van Dam losing here is fine as it’s not like the division exists anymore.

Joseph Park learns a lesson in politicking. Hogan says it’s a rib, which Park has to find out the definition of.

Brooke badgers Hulk to give Bully the title shot.

We recap Austin Aries and Robert Roode’s history together.

Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries

Before the match Roode says Hogan’s attempts at wedging the tag champions apart won’t work. They say ring the bell and an argument breaks out over who should lay down for the other. Aries tries to steal a pin and we take a break. Back with the champions slugging it out before Roode misses a charge into the corner. Aries comes back with a sunset flip for two and argues with the referee about the count.

We get another slugout with Aries hitting the discus forearm, only to walk into the spinebuster for two. Aries is placed on the top rope but fights out of a superplex attempt. They slug it out on top with Austin knocking him down to the mat, only to miss the 450. Roode’s spear is countered into the Last Chancery but Roode rakes the eyes to escape. There’s the Crossface from Bobby but Aries fight out as well.

The referee is bumped (duh) and Bobby grabs a chair. We get the Eddie Guerrero spot with Roode pretending to have been hit with the chair, but Aries tries the same thing. That’s brilliant! Chavo and Hernandez come out for a distraction and as the champions go after them, we get a double countout at approximately 10:00.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this and the mirroring Guerrero spots were brilliant. These two work incredibly well together but for the love of goodness I do not want to see them fight Chavo and Hernandez again. The ending was annoying but they had to do that in order to avoid a “who’s the best” angle.

Sting tells Hogan to choose wisely.

Here’s Hogan to choose the winner, but Aces and 8’s surround the ring. Cue a limping Bully Ray with a chain, and of course Aces and 8’s won’t fight an old man and a limping fat guy. Sting comes out with three ball bats for the real save. No announcement is made.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show. I can’t imagine any of these guys getting the shot as no one really stood out, so odds are it’s going to be Ray so he can screw over TNA. The matches were decent here tonight which is all you can ask for out of a free TV show. Too much Hogan tonight though, which is a major problem this show has anymore.

Results

Magnus b. Christopher Daniels – Top Rope Elbow

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle went to a no contest when Aces and 8’s interfered

Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz b. Blossom Twins/Party Marty

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 24, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

So the wedding was last week and as most weddings do, it drew a good audience. The main surprise from last week’s events though was that Tazz was introduced as the newest member of Aces and 8’s. While shocking, it doesn’t address the main issues the team has. Kennedy is their biggest star I guess, but that doesn’t really make them intimidating. This stable is almost eight months old. Don’t you think it’s time we got a bit more out of them? Oh and Hardy defends against Daniels tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap from last week.

Keneley and Tenay are disturbed by Tazz’s actions.

There’s kind of an opening sequence now.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open things up with Tazz leading the way. Tazz immediately gives us more about the team than we’ve gotten in the time they’ve been around: they’re out for revenge and redemption and they have a higher power. Last week was the wedding and there was a chance to step on the Hogans’ faces. They were just another victim and nothing more. As for Dixie Carter, Tazz signed a contract that says if anyone puts a hand on him that says he’ll make a fortune. Fast promo here.

Jesse hypes up Tara while bragging about himself.

Video on Daniels being around since the dawn of TNA.

Daniels says this is a turning point for his career tonight.

Tazz is back on commentary.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is back in the classic outfit instead of the catsuit which is a downgrade for me. Tara poses as the bell rings so Velvet grabs a quick rollup for two. Tara fights her back but stops to pose again and gets kicked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Tara in control as Tazz won’t answer questions about why he turned because it’s club business. Translation: it isn’t important enough/the writers haven’t figured out the answer yet.

The shaky moonsault gets two for Tara but she goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down accordingly. Velvet comes back with a headscissors and a spinning faceplant but Jesse has the referee’s attention. Tara knocks Jesse down and a rollup gets two for Velvet. Sky loads up a suplex but Jesse hooks her foot ala Bobby Heenan and Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 5 to give Tara the win at 9:42.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible but the first part of the match was pretty sloppy. The division is at a standstill at this point as nothing has really changed for awhile. It’s the same set of girls having the same matches that we’ve seen for years now. Velvet’s big return basically means nothing at this point and hasn’t changed anything. Also, can more than two Knockouts appear on screen at once or is that against the rules?

Open Fight Night is back next week.

Sting has something to say later on.

Kenny King talks to himself in the mirror when Zema Ion comes up to talk strategy. Tension is teased and I can’t bring myself to be interested.

Here’s Joseph Park to say that his place is here on Impact instead of in the courtroom. He never got that win though, or that W as the boys call it. He’s here to be the best he can be and holds up a passport, saying he’ll be here next week in Manchester to compete in Open Fight Night. He doesn’t know who he’s facing but he’s going to spend the week watching film. Next week he’ll deliver his verdict and then hold his own court and get that W.

Zema Ion/Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam/Christian York

York and Ion start things off as Tazz talks about which of these guys would be a good addition to the team. Off to Van Dam who goes after King on the apron and gets in trouble for his efforts. King comes in legally and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Back to Ion for his usual lame stuff as we hear about Bellator for the 100^th time in two weeks.

Ion misses a 450 and everything breaks down. Rob loads up the split legged moonsault on Zema but King crotches him, only to get elbowed back down. Rob gets kicked off the top and Ion tags himself in. A tornado DDT is countered but King hits a springboard Blockbuster to give Ion the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C. I’m trying to care about Ion and it’s just not working at all. The guy just isn’t that good but he of all the people that have been brought in to the division over the last few years, they pick HIM to stick around and push? York and King looked fine here while Van Dam was Van Dam. I’m hoping King wins the title soon as it would shake the division up a bit while also being logical progression.

Tazz leaves to take a phone call.

Bully and Brooke arrive and will do their talking in the ring.

Joe tells Garrett and Wes that they can’t suck up to him like they do to Angle. Kurt pops up and says he’s still hurt but he can fight.

We recap the wedding. Again.

Here are Bully and Brooke to the ring. Bully says that he expected this from D-Von but not Tazz. Last week Aces and 8’s hurt Sting who is the only person that has trusted Ray. They also hurt Hogan who it took forever to get to accept Ray, but more importantly they hurt Brooke. Ray tells Aces and 8’s to sleep with their eyes open until he takes care of all of them. However he needs the absent Hulk to lift his suspension to do that. Cue Sting who begs Hulk to take this all the way like he does with everything else. He believes that Hogan will do the right thing next week in Manchester.

Aries and Roode praise each other to try to get out of a match with Hernandez. Aries: “You were the longest reigning champion ever.” Roode: “Then you beat me.” Aries: “Well yeah but…” Eventually Roode is tricked into taking the match because he’s the power guy and Aries should clean up. Roode is confused but Aries leaves before Bobby can complain.

Video on Hardy before Hardy says (out loud!) that he’ll win.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

Roode tries to pound away a bit but gets backdropped for his efforts. Tenay thinks Roode is a better singles wrestler than Hernandez. The PROFESSOR ladies and gentlemen. There’s the delayed vertical suplex to Roode but he immediately comes back with a guillotine on the top rope. Tazz says he could see either of these guys joining Aces and 8’s in the future. Roode hooks a chinlock but SuperMex fights out of it and hits the slingshot shoulder to take over.

There’s the corner splash and the over the shoulder backbreaker for no cover. Roode comes back with a chop but gets sent to the floor. Hernandez loads up a dive but Aries runs out for the save. He and Chavo get in a fight on the floor as Roode hits a bulldog on Hernandez for the clean pin at 5:41.

Rating: C-. A bulldog is enough for a pin? The problem here is that Hernandez is completely uninteresting and Chavo doesn’t help much. They’re very dull champions as they don’t really do anything other than hold the titles and have decent matches. Roode and Aries are hilarious but I don’t really care to see them as tag champions. The match was ok at best.

Here’s Angle to say that next week he’s calling out Anderson on Open Fight Night. Cue Anderson in full Aces and 8’s gear to say that he wants to fight right now. After the brawl erupts, Angle clears the ring and says that it’s going to be in a cage next week.

Post break Anderson is panicking over the cage match but D-Von says drink beer and calm down. He has a plan apparently.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is challenging here and literally dances to the ring. Tazz predicts that Hardy is going to have trouble in the year 2013. Feeling out process to start with Hardy taking over, only to miss a charge in the corner and fall to the floor. Kaz comes in to celebrate and we take a break. Back with Daniels hitting a clothesline and choking away on Hardy for a bit. A modified neckbreaker hits for two on Hardy and it’s off to the chinlock.

Hardy comes back with a clothesline and speeds things way up before getting two off the mule kick. A middle rope splash gets two but Hardy jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels busts out the Koji Clutch which we haven’t seen in years and that no one seems to know the name of. Christopher loads up something like a superplex but gets caught in the front suplex from the top for two. The Twist is countered into the Angel’s Wings for two but the BME and Swanton both miss, the latter of which gives Hardy two. Hardy counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and it’s double Twist and Swanton to retain at 14:10.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys looking great. Daniels is SO much more fun to watch when he’s not against AJ all the time and his latest run has been all kinds of entertaining. The promos are way better than the matches, which is saying a lot as the match here was solid stuff. Hardy winning was pretty clear but that’s not always a bad thing. Good main event here.

Post match Tazz distracts Hardy and a masked biker hits Jeff in the knee with a hammer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was ok but not much better than that. At the end of the day not a lot was really explained that we didn’t know already and there wasn’t much followup at all to the wedding stuff from last week. The main event was solid and the post match stuff is likely due to Hardy not being able to appear in the UK due to his legal issues over the years. Pretty decent stuff here but the wrestling wasn’t all that great save for one match.

Results

Tara b. Velvet Sky – Tara pinned Sky after Jesse tripped her

Zema Ion/Kenny King b. Rob Van Dam/Christian York – Ion pinned York after a springboard Blockbuster from King

Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Bulldog

Jeff Hardy b. Christopher Daniels – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven’t followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we’re not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.

Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they’re his groomsmen.

Some Knockouts are Brooke’s bridesmaids. It’s not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.

Here’s Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he’ll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels’ title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can’t figure out what this sets up, go read something else.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence

Actually it starts right now. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it’s quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I’m really not feeling that name and it’s barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we’re waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.

Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy’s eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Really basic tag match here which didn’t do anything of note. The smart thing to do here would be to have Daniels pin Hardy via cheating of some kind but instead they just had things go like usual. The Twist at the end was pretty sloppy too which didn’t help anything. I’m also not sure what Storm is getting out of this but maybe it’s too early to say.

Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel’s Wings on the belt.

The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.

Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.

Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that’s Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he’s earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I’m not sure.

Christian York vs. Kenny King

This is fallout from King’s attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King’s face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King’s offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.

Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he’ll try.

Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn’t in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they’re crashing the wedding.

Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.

Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he’s here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.

Taz comes in to Bully’s room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he’s marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.

We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.

Here’s Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn’t trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he’ll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he’ll do the right thing. Brother.

Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.

We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Winner gets a title shot at some point. I’m digging Velvet’s new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we’re not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can’t hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.

Rating: D+. I don’t care. I’ve tried for months now and I just do not care about the Knockouts at all. They’re mostly gorgeous, they have good outfits on, and I do not care anything at all past that. The same girls have been having the same matches and feuds for years now and I do not care at all. The match was the usual stuff.

Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.

It’s 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it’s time for the wedding???

We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.

Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn’t be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals….ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That’s WAY better.

Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can’t.

It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.

Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face

Overall Rating: C-. The question coming into this show wasn’t would there be a swerve in the wedding but rather what would the swerve be. As for what we got…..eh. It’s still someone else that doesn’t really change anything, so who cares? Other than that though, there wasn’t much here. They did a good job of hyping up the world title match next week, but other than that there wasn’t much going on here. This was ALL about the wedding, which is ok, but if you’re not into that storyline, go watch something else. TNA has run into that problem before and while it isn’t as bad as it’s been in the past, they’re getting close to it.

Results

James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian

Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 10, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

It’s both the go home show for Genesis and the return of Gut Check, although in a tweeked format. This time it’s going to be TWO guys fighting for a contract, although there’s no word on whether or not a win guarantees a contract. Other than that we’re getting ready for Genesis, which isn’t exactly a show I’m thrilled about watching. Let’s get to it.

After the opening recap, here are Sting, Joe and Angle to the ring. Sting says it’s good to be back and on Sunday he’s coming for Doc. As for tonight, he’s here with some friends like the big black bat, Shooter and Killer. He invites the bikers to come get some and Joe says the same. Kurt gets a HUGE chant and says that he wants to know where Mr. Anderson stands.

Here’s Anderson who says that these guys were nowhere to be seen months ago when Aces and 8’s beat him down. After that Sting had a new partner (he’s talking about the BFG match) and now they’re questioning why he would turn his back on TNA. Angle says you’re either with us or we’re going to fight. Anderson gets in the ring and says he doesn’t have to answer to Angle and the fight is on.

One of the Gut Check guys is Jay Bradley, who odds are you don’t remember from WWECW as Ryan Braddock.

Brooke Hogan gets a phone call from Mark, which is Bully Ray’s first name.

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Zema Ion vs. Kenny King

The winner of this faces Christian York at Genesis with the winner getting a title shot at Van Dam later in the night. King sends him to the floor but misses a dive, followed immediately by Ion sliding back in and hitting a flip dive of his own. Back in and King gets two off a spinwheel kick as we talk about the new PPV system. Ion guillotines King on the top rope and gets two off a DDT. King tries the Royal Flush but gets taken down instead. Ion loads up a 450 but misses, and by misses I mean hits King as King rolls away. King pops up and hits the Royal Flush to advance to Genesis at 3:05.

Rating: C. Take two guys, put them in the ring and have them fly around the ring all over the place. Nothing special here but King looks much better than Ion. Then again I’ve seen festering blisters that don’t look as bad as Ion. Also wasn’t King a heel until a few weeks ago? He certainly didn’t act like one here.

King says he’ll win on Sunday.

Robbie E tries to get Tessmacher into a mixed tag later but she wants to tag with Robbie T. Tessmacher to E: “You disgust me!” E: “Why does every girl say that to me???”

Joseph Park is back and is ready to be a wrestler. He then walks into a door and can’t get inside.

Tara/Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher

If nothing else, we get a clip of the Bro Off and Robbie E’s hilarious face. Jesse tries to jump Rob from behind because he’s an idiot and earns a slam. Off to the girls with Tessmacher taking over and hitting an X Factor out of the corner. There’s a Stinkface because that’s what you get on a wrestling show. T LAUNCHES Jesse into the corner and hits a BIG old powerbomb for the pin at 1:46.

T and Tessmacher dance post match and Robbie E LOSES IT. They kiss and E is about to have a heart attack. WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG FOR THEM TO BE THIS FUNNY???

Brian Cage talks about Gut Check.

Gut Check: Brian Cage vs. Jay Bradley

They’re both rookies and next week only one of them gets a contract. I have no idea which is which here. I know Bradley is from OVW but I’m not familiar with Cage. Bradley takes over with a slam and loads up his clothesline finisher but gets dropkicked tot he apron instead. Cage gets on the middle rope to suplex Bradley back inside and gets two off a spinning top rope elbow. Bradley pops back up and hits his running clothesline (the Boomstick) for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. This was fine but at the end of the day, this doesn’t really address the main problems with Gut Check: we never see these guys again, they’re still just guys in trunks fighting, and they all have the same story. Bradley was fine and will get the contract and no one will care, because we haven’t been given a reason to care.

Anderson yells at Aces and 8’s telling them to get serious. The girls are thrown out. The bikers go to a meeting and yell at Knox for losing his mask.

Joseph Park is in the ring and is glad to be back from camp. He asks Hulk to come out and here’s the big bald himself. Hulk says he’s got important things to deal with right no and Park needs more time than just a few weeks in camp. Park wants one of the Aces and 8’s so Hulk gives him any match he wants to shut him up.

Park leaves so here’s Brooke to pop up on screen and say she’s coming to the ring right now….thanks for the warning I guess?

Post break here’s Brooke to whine about being ignored. She has an important question and it’s going to determine their relationship for a long time. The question is will he reinstate Mark and Hulk says no. Well that was quick.

Aries and Roode talk about how awesome their shirts are and argue about what to wear to the ring. An argument over who is better and deserves to be the champion follows. If I heard Aries right, he calls them a wet dream team. Now they argue over who gets to go to the ring first. Funny stuff here.

Video on the guys in the triple threat on Sunday.

Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy/James Storm

So again, the bikers and their matches on Sunday of Sting vs. Doc and Park vs. likely Knox takes precedent over the world title. Roode and Hardy start things off with both guys getting in some quick shots, leading to a stalemate. Off to Aries via an aggressive tag so he can show off some lighter trunks. Aries takes hardy to the mat and rides him around to show off a bit. Hardy comes back with a headscissors and the good guys double team their villains for a bit. Aries gets hung upside down from the ropes by his feet before arguing with Roode for not pulling him down.

We take a break and come back with Roode charging into an elbow in the corner. Hardy goes up to dive onto the floor onto Roode but gets shaken down and crotched. Aries tags himself in by slapping Roode hard on the back before going after Jeff’s leg. Back to Roode who gets caught in a sunset flip for a delayed two due to the referee arguing with Aries. Back to Austin who takes turns with Roode in trying to one up the other. Roode suplexes Hardy down for no cover and drops a knee for the same.

Roode goes up but jumps into a boot, which combined with a mule kick by Jeff brings in Storm off the hot tag. Storm cleans house to big reactions from the crowd. An Alabama Slam puts Aries down as does a neckbreaker to Roode. Closing Time (Codebreaker) sends Aries to the floor but Daniels and Kaz run in to distract Storm and prevent the Last Call. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner on Roode but Aries blasts Jeff in the back with the belt for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C+. This was perfectly fine for what it was supposed to be: a basic main event style tag match to set up a triple threat as well as a singles match on Sunday. The idea of two challengers being in an argument over the title on Sunday and allowing Hardy to overcome the odds to retain is a good idea.

Roode and Aries fight over the belt post match.

Brooke tells Mark not to come here tonight but asks him to come pick her up. Ok then.

The tag champs attack Morgan and Ryan inside a trailer. Still don’t care about this.

We run down the Genesis card. There’s a Knockouts gauntlet match for a title shot at a date to be determined. Park gets to fight D-Von on Sunday presumably meaning that Knox doesn’t have a match on Sunday.

Hardy monologues about Sunday.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Anderson comes out from the regular entrance and to his own music. He does his entrance as usual and I can’t say I missed it that much. Well I could but I would be lying. Anderson bails to the floor to hide and Angle tells him to get in here for a fight. Anderson stalls some more and here’s Knox with the hammer to beat Angle down. No match. Brisco and Bischoff and Joe run out for the save.

Angle gets taken out on a stretcher. I’m guessing he needs time off.

Sting comes out and wants Knox RIGHT NOW. Well after a break that is of course.

Post break and it’s bat vs. hammer in what I think is going to be a match in a bit. Yep we get a bell after Knox gets hit with a bat.

Sting vs. Mike Knox

Hit with a bat? Why would that stop someone? Knox pounds Sting down to start as the fans chant for Sting. We head to the floor with Sting sending Knox into the steps a few times which still isn’t a DQ. Sting puts him against the barricade and ACTUALLY HITS THE SPLASH. That might be the second time I’ve ever seen him hit that. Back in and the Deathlock is countered but Sting no sells Knox’s offense. The Splash sets up the Death Drop for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D. I’m seriously laughing at this match. Knox, the newest member of the team, is already losing his matches just like a good member of the team. They’ve completely lost the chances of making people take them seriously at this point, which defeats the purpose of a monster heel stable in the first place. Nothing to see here at all.

Post match Sting hits Knox in the hand with a hammer but D-Von pops up with possession of Brooke. He promises to make this their year and here’s Ray with his chain for the save. Brooke gets away from Aces and 8’s after being in their grip for all of 18 seconds. Hogan comes out with his arms crossed and glares.

Post break Hogan blames Ray for all these problems and says Ray isn’t the man for his daughter. Ray goes into his “I love this business” schtick and that he didn’t think he could love anything more than wrestling….until he met Brooke. She was apologizing for Hogan being a jerk. Hulk drops his mic and Ray keeps talking about how fast this is happening. He says screw this and puts Brooke between the two of them. Bully says he cares about Brooke a lot and gets on his knee to propose to her. She says yes and Ray wants it to happen next week on Impact. Sure why not.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t bad but it certainly wasn’t good either. It had it’s moments of comedy, but unfortunately only half of them were meant to be funny. Aces and 8’s are rapidly approaching unintentional comedy area which may be entertaining, but certainly not in the way TNA was shooting for. The world title stuff was good and nothing on the show was horrible, but it didn’t do much for making me want to see Genesis.

Results

Kenny King b. Zema Ion – Royal Flush

Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Jesse Godderz – Powerbomb to Godderz

Jay Bradley b. Brian King – Boomstick

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries via DQ when Aries hit Hardy with a belt

Sting b. Mike Knox – Scorpion Death Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz

We open the new year with the return (yes another one) of Sting. Rather than let us be surprised by who wins, TNA has decided to throw the name out there ahead of time. The other issue is that Anderson may or may not be joining Aces and 8’s. That would help their star power but somehow make them more boring at the same time. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap kills some time.

We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.

When Roode was champion, NOTHING was more important to him than the title. He made history and set records when he was champion but here’s Aries to argue that HE should be the winner because he averaged over four stars per PPV match. Hardy calms things down and says he’ll defend against both of them at Genesis, which I think is the first match announced. Aries jumps him but gets in an argument with Roode over who gets to beat Hardy up. Aries tries to hit Jeff with the trophy but blasts Roode instead, bending the gold part on top. Hardy takes out Aries and leaves.

Storm is disappointed but Bad Influence comes in and makes fun of a country song to show how sad Storm is in a hilarious bit. Storm says he’ll be back and he’ll kick Daniels in his Twitter and knock Kaz’s Facebook off. Kaz: “You forgot MySpace!”

Kazarian vs. James Storm

Daniels faked Storm out to start and Kaz got in a cheap shot to really start. That’s some nice chicanery there. Storm pounds away in the ring before we head to the floor where Daniels can cheat yet again. Back in and Storm comes back with Closing Time (Codebreaker) for no cover, instead opting for a Russian Leg Sweep and a top rope elbow for two. For the third time a Daniels distraction lets Kaz take over, this time with a TKO for two. Storm hits another Codebreaker out of nowhere and after taking out Daniels, hits the Last Call to a jumping Kaz for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Storm continues to be kept away from the main event but it’s nice to see him overcoming the odds for a week and getting a clean pin. Also, it’s VERY nice to see Bad Influence fighting anyone other than AJ for all of eternity. Other than that though, the match was relatively dull with Storm just doing his thing and hitting his signature moves.

Anderson is told to make a decision by Aces and 8’s and after some prodding from Doc, he finally agrees. However, D-Von’s bat is missing.

Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.

Quick highlight package on Sting and Aces and 8’s.

Here’s Doc to say that Sting needs to get out here so he can cripple Sting once and for all. A ball bat falls from the ceiling and Doc FREAKS, shouting that he isn’t afraid and demanding that Sting get out here as we take a break.

Brooke has no comment on her dad.

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York

Kash jumps him to start and takes it to thef loor very quickly, only to get caught by a dropkick and a kick to the head from the apron. Kash pounds away a bit but York comes back with a botched handspring into a kick for two. A running low downward spiral gets two for Christian and he counters a backslide into the Mood Swing (Eve’s swinging neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see at all here as Kash continues to just be a warm body in the division. York isn’t much better and I’m not wild on these mini tournaments, especially when the finals and the title match are at the same show (Genesis obviously), it gets a little dull. Nothing to see here though.

Hernandez and Chavo aren’t scared of Morgan and Ryan.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.

Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez

Hernandez pounds away to start and Morgan’s arm appears to be fine. He comes in and hits a discus lariat on Hernandez for the DQ at 1:00.

Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?

Angle thanks Brisco and Bischoff for having his back. Tonight it’s a cage match so they can hang back here. Joe yells at them for no apparent reason but Angle smooths things over.

We see the Knockouts stretching.

We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.

Here’s Hulk to apologize for being gone last week. He saw his daughter and Ray making out in the parking lot and he needed a breather. Hulk asks Brooke and Ray to come out here right now so here they are side by side and nearly arm in arm. Hulk wants an explanation right now and Ray says it was all on him. Papa Hogan GOES OFF on Ray, saying that he knew all along that Ray was a bad man. Apparently Ray broke some kind of code and he gets thrown out of the ring, just like Brooke. Ray is suspended as well. Is there a point to this coming ANYTIME soon?

Post break we recap what we just saw.

Back to OVW for more Joseph Park matches. He’s been watching a lot of tape and Danny Davis is starting to get the appeal of him. I think Park graduates.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher

Tess is in all blue tonight which is a nice change of pace. She and Gail start but it’s quickly off to Tara. I do enjoy the camera closeups we get of the Knockouts unlike the Divas. Mickie comes in off a blind tag to clear the ring as Jesse consoles Tara. Back in for Tara vs. Mickie as we take a break. Back with Tessmacher getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Tara gets knocked to the floor where Jesse wipes her face, allowing Kim to deck Tessmacher from behind. Back to Kim legally for an over the shoulder back/rib breaker for two.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor but she still manages to block the hot tag. Tara comes in with the slingshot somersault legdrop for two and it’s off to a quick bow and arrow hold. Tessmacher slams Tara face first into the mat and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker on Kim gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher dives on Jesse and Tara on the floor. Gail misses the same charge in the corner again and Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin at 13:04.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here for the same four chicks we’ve seen fight for months. Is Velvet gone again, because we haven’t seen her in the ring for two weeks now. It still seems to be setting up Mickie to take the title off Tara, which makes Sky’s return worthless. Not a bad match here but there was no need for this to be over seven minutes, let alone thirteen.

Aces and 8’s say they have to stay masked.

ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.

We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.

Hulk makes it a three way elimination in a segment that doesn’t need to exist. Next week it’s the two of them against Hardy and whoever Hardy can get.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man

In a cage for absolutely no apparent reason. Doc slams the door on Angle as he gets in the ring, making it a handicap match to start. Joe beats on both guys in the ring as Doc keeps beating up Angle on the outside. D-Von charges into his partner in the corner so Joe can divide and conquer a bit. The numbers finally catch up to Joe and his comeback attempt is quickly stopped. Thankfully there’s no tagging in this. I can’t stand the idea of law and order in a cage match.

D-Von kicks the door into Angle’s head again as the beating continues. We take a break and come back with Joe still fighting both guys off on his own. To be fair it’s not like (presumably) Mike Knox and D-Von would be a huge challenge for a guy like Joe. Angle fights off Doc and gets the key to unlock the cage. Kurt cleans house but can’t get the mask off due to Doc making ANOTHER save. Angle is busted open now but he avoids D-Von’s headbutt. It’s time to roll some Germans on both bikers and the Angle Slam pins the masked man at 11:43.

Rating: C-. Again, why am I supposed to be surprised here? Joe and Angle are two of the biggest stars in TNA history and they’re beating up two guys with barely any singles success ever? This is supposed to be interesting? Nothing to see here for the most part and the cage is just there to try to add some drama I suppose.

Post match more bikers run in to beat down Angle and Joe as Anderson watches from the floor. Sting comes in with the bat to clean house with little fanfare. Aces and 8’s bail, but the masked man from the match is left alone. He gets triple teamed and the mask is pulled off to reveal Mike Knox, shocking ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Gee, just what Aces and 8’s needs: ANOTHER FREAKING CAREER NOTHING. Tenay says Sting just took the power away from Aces and 8’s. Mike, go watch some CMLL or something. It’ll do you a lot of good.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it certainly wasn’t all that great either. At the end of the day, this show has become almost all about drama as we wait to get to next checkpoint in the Aces and 8’s story and any kind of a point at all in Hogan vs. Ray. Hulk is looking like a jerk in this whole thing which doesn’t really do much for Ray at all. Aces and 8’s are still Aces and 8’s as well, but now with two big guys with no career accomplishments. Nothing to see here but at least we FINALLY have some stuff set for Genesis.

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing

Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews