Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 2013
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The WWE is on a roll as of late with good Smackdowns, a good Payback and a great Raw last week. Tonight’s focus will likely be on Punk vs. Lesnar as Brock laid out Punk to close the show last week. We also have Henry vs. Cena on tap for Money in the Bank which should be entertaining given the roll Henry can get on when he’s in a zone. Hopefully the show is as good as it was last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the two big stories from last week: Brock vs. Punk and Henry vs. Cena.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He says that some people have accused him of having some sort of a little man complex. To set the record straight, NO he was not an extra in the Hobbit. Over the years he’s fought toe to toe with some of the biggest people in the business including Randy Orton. The countout victory on Smackdown wasn’t enough because Bryan wants a pin or a submission in the middle of this ring. This brings out Orton to tell Bryan to shut up and fight which is exactly what Orton gets.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan jumps Orton to start but Randy takes it to the floor. He throws Daniel over the announce table and a brawl breaks out with Bryan diving at Orton against the barricade. The referee goes down and the match is thrown out at 1:20.

Bryan storms in on Vickie and Brad, DEMANDING a rematch later tonight. Brad says there isn’t time so Bryan says either he gets his match with Randy or he’s fighting Maddox later. Vince comes in to seemingly threaten Vickie and Brad but nothing comes of it.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Sheamus/Christian

Christian starts with Cody and gets two off a back elbow. They go outside with Christian being sent into the steps before Sandow gets two off the Wind-Up elbow. Cody hits a delayed front suplex but Christian fights up for a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the ten forearms to Sandow’s chest. Off to Cody who eats a Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Why is it so hard to book Sheamus? They did the same thing last year against Alberto and now we’re getting it here too. For some reason the solution for Sheamus seems to be “have the same match over and over and wonder why people stop caring after the second time.” This is a horrible feud and I don’t know of anyone who cares about it.

Punk is in the back when Vickie tells him he has a match tonight. Punk shouts at Vickie and that’s about it.

Aksana vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn pounds away to start as Kaitlyn’s own music plays. Cue AJ in a Kaitlyn costume (meaning heavily muscled) allowing Aksana to roll Kaitlyn up for two. Spear finishes Aksana at 1:25.

AJ makes fun of Kaitlyn for believing she had a secret admirer until Langston comes out. More jokes about Kaitlyn’s size are made and that’s about it.

Apparently Bray Wyatt tweets. Here’s another vignette of how creepy he is, but remember that he comes out of the swamp every now and then to tweet.

We recap Henry’s fake retirement last week. By recap I mean show half the segment.

Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is a rematch from last Friday where Del Rio won by DQ. Jericho takes over to start and chops the champion into the corner. A snapmare gets two for Chris but Del Rio gets him into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into a boot to the head and takes a middle rope dropkick for two. Del Rio is sent to the floor but jericho misses a dropkick and bangs up his knee to change momentum again.

Back with Jericho getting two each off a small package and an enziguri. Jericho goes up but gets caught by the corner enziguri to send him to the floor. Back in and Del Rio stomps away before putting on a quick chinlock. Chris chops up but misses a dropkick to put him right back down. Back to el chinlock by Alberto before Jericho is whipped chest first into the buckle. The Canadian comes back with a high cross body for two and a northern lights suplex gets the same.

Jericho avoids a charge in the corner to send Del Rio shoulder first into the post, but the champion blocks the Codebreaker. Jericho rolls into the Walls but Del Rio spins out just in time. The low superkick gets two for Alberto but Jericho counters the armbreaker into the bulldog. The Lionsault gets knees though and it’s off the armbreaker but Jericho springboards himself off the ropes and into the Walls but Ricardo comes in for the LAME DQ at 14:10.

Rating: B-. This would have been so much better had we not seen the exact same thing on Smackdown. That’s one of WWE’s biggest issues right now: there’s no space between these matches. We go from a match on Raw to the same match on Smackdown and then a third match on the next Raw. What time for a build or anything is there? The match here worked fine but the ending was painfully obvious about five minutes into the match.

Post match Ziggler runs in and hits a Zig Zag on both guys as payback for Jericho attacking him on Friday.

HHH comes in to see Brad and Vickie and apparently the WWE Universe wants to see Bryan vs. Orton tonight. However, HHH wants Vickie to over deliver. It should be a choice of what kind of match the match should have and Vickie of course agrees.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox for the debut of the new WWE video game cover. There’s also a contest where you can submit and design the back cover of the game. Vickie is booed out of the building as she tells us we can vote on the stipulation for Bryan vs. Orton. You can pick street fight, lumberjack match or falls count anywhere. Now we jump back to the game by seeing Vickie’s cover design: HHH, Vince and Stephanie looking mad. Brad shows us his cover design: Cena, Punk and Maddox. Lawler shows us the real cover: The Rock.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali shoves Ryback into the corner and chops him down but Ryback fires off some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline puts Ryback down again but he comes right back with the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:18.

Here’s Cena to talk about what it means to be WWE Champion. Only 43 men have been WWE Champion and whether they were champion for over seven years like Bruno Sammartino or for one night like Rey Mysterio, they were the WWE Champion. He’s seen people chase the title and crack under the pressure once they get it, ad last week we saw the level that someone will sink to in order to be called WWE Champion.

Last week Henry cheated the WWE Universe and disgraced his family. Cena thought Henry’s false speech disgraced people like Edge, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair who had to retire because they couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe Henry realizes that his time is coming to a close in the WWE and he has to do something to cement his legacy. This is where John Cena comes in, because in order to become a legend in this company, Henry has to go through him. It’s not Henry’s time though, because our time is now. Solid promo here from the man you call to put over a feud.

Tons of Funk vs. Usos vs. 3MB

The winners get a tag title shot, presumably at MITB. Tons of Funk have some guy who won a charity auction to come to the ring. It’s McIntyre and Mahal for 3MB here. Mahal starts with Jey who kicks Drew in the face and out to the apron. Off to Jimmy who gets run over by Tensai as everything breaks down. Brodus throws the Band out and dives off the apron to take them out. Back in the ring and Tensai gets two off the backsplash but it’s a superkick and Samoan Drop by Jey, setting up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:02.

Shield comes out to stare the Usos down post match.

Ad for The Call on DVD. David Otunga calls Halle Berry and isn’t funny. He also gave Kane her cell number.

Here’s Heyman to address the CM Punk/Brock Lesnar incident from last week. Heyman would rather do this in person though so here’s Punk for a discussion. First up, Punk thinks the fans should know why he’s a Paul Heyman guy. Back in 2005, Punk was signed to a WWE contract under VP of Talent Relations Johnny Ace. Ace thought Punk should be sent to Louisville, Kentucky to go through the developmental system.

At the time, Heyman was in charge of the developmental system, but he had been set up to fail. Punk was one of the guys designed to not succeed and a lot of the management told Heyman to cut Punk loose. Despite Heyman’s track record, WWE wouldn’t listen to him but Heyman never fired Punk. When ECW was restarted, Punk was the first draft pick (not really but whatever).

As for now though, Heyman needs to tell Brock Lesnar that Punk is coming for him. Heyman knows Punk personally and there’s no one more relentless or dangerous and Punk will do whatever it takes to bring the beast down. Now we can address the elephant in the room: what happened last week. Until last week, Heyman had never done Punk wrong. Punk wants to know if Heyman sent Brock Lesnar after him and for the first time in his life, Heyman better not lie.

Heyman says on his children, he didn’t know Brock was at Raw last week. The fans boo and Heyman says that’s exactly what the McMahons and Ace used to say when he said to keep Punk around. The moment Punk said Lesnar needed Heyman’s help, he picked a fight with Brock Lesnar. Heyman says there has always been professional jealous between them and that’s why we never saw Punk and Lesnar in the same ring together. Paul says he’s everything that Punk says he is and one day he’ll walk the aisle with Punk again when Punk is in the main event of Wrestlemania.

As uncomfortable as it is for everyone to hear, Heyman loves Punk and he’s not going to screw up his dreams because Punk needs a little time for himself. He’ll never represent anyone, including Lesnar, against Punk and that’s a problem between Heyman and Lesnar. Now everyone is telling Punk to get rid of Heyman so Heyman’s fate is in his hands. It’s Punk’s move and after a long staredown, he hugs Heyman and says he’s sorry for doubting him.

Darren Young vs. CM Punk

Young takes over to start and pounds him into the corner before whipping Punk across the ring. Darren stomps away and gets two off a suplex as this is one sided so far. The idea here is that Punk is all out of sorts because of the pre-match stuff. Off to a chinlock before Punk sends him into the corner for a running knee. Punk goes up but gets snapped throat first onto the top rope. Not that it matters as he comes back with the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into the double knee gutbuster for two but it’s the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Young was trying but this was an exercise in killing time until Punk beat him. I don’t get the appeal of Young at all when he’s in the ring as he’s just a guy in trunks doing wrestling moves. Titus is a more interesting guy and far more entertaining but I guess they need to keep Young on the roster for some reason.

Post match the Players beat down Punk but Curtis Axel makes the save.

Vickie is on the phone yelling at Brad when Stephanie comes in. She’s mad that the Raw MITB participants haven’t been announced yet but she’ll go to it herself.

Here’s Stephanie to introduce the people in the WWE Championship MITB ladder match: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Christian, Kane and Rob Van Dam.

In the back, Brad says he’s been working with Stephanie on the MITB roster when Ryback comes in to demand a title match. He wants to face Cena at the PPV but Jericho comes in and says he deserves to be in MITB. Ryback gets in Jericho’s face for whining. “I could eat you alive.” Vickie screeches and makes the match between them at MITB.

Post break Punk is annoyed at Heyman for sending Axel down for the save. Next week it’s Axel/Punk vs. the Players which makes Punk even more annoyed. He’ll do the match but he’ll prove that he can do it by himself. Then he’s going to win MITB and come after Lesnar because nothing else matters to him.

Here’s Mark Henry to address what happened last week. He brags about fooling all of us last week when people were cheering for him and holding up Henry signs. Henry saw people crying because he deserves an Academy Award. He’s had people like Steven Speilberg and Tyler Perry reaching out to him but that’s not what he wants. Last week he used his friends, family and other WWE superstars and he’s not apologizing to anyone.

For years people have been telling him how to live his life and he’s not having it anymore. People told him to stop hurting little kids and to go win at the Olympics. At Money in the Bank, a no good dirty lying Mark Henry is going to show up because the people are puppets. Last week he said he’s coming home and he is, but he’s coming home WWE Champion.

Wyatt Family promo.

The main event is a street fight with 50% of the vote.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan takes it to the corner for the kicks but Orton sends him into another corner to take over. They head to the outside with Orton sending Bryan into the steps and barricade. We go back inside but Bryan baseball slides Orton back to the floor. Bryan loads up the FLYING GOAT but charges head first into a chair as we take a break.

Back with Orton bringing in a table but the time spent with it allows Bryan to moonsault out of the corner. A running clothesline sets up the corner dropkick but Bryan’s second charge hits the chair. Another table has been set up at ringside but Bryan can’t dropkick Orton off the apron. Instead he baseball slides through Randy’s legs and powerbombs him through the table in a smart move.

That only gets two so it’s time for the kendo stick shots to Orton’s shoulder. Bryan alternates with kicks and stick shots, only to charge into a t-bone suplex through the table in the corner. Back up and they slug it out until Orton dropkicks Bryan down for no cover. Orton counters a top rope rana into a powerbomb for two but takes too long following up, allowing Bryan to hook the NO Lock.

Randy grabs the kendo stick with the free arm and beats the fire out of Bryan to escape before beating on him some more. The RKO is countered into a backslide for two and now it’s Bryan beating on Randy with the stick. Back to the NO Lock but Orton gets the stick again. This time though Bryan takes it away and uses the stick to pull on Orton’s face for the tap out at 15:46.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of win that Bryan needed. He beat the tar out of Orton here and got the win in the middle of the ring with a tap out. Daniel is on fire right now and the fans are totally buying into it which is a good sign for all the hard work that he’s put into his character over the last few months.

Post match Orton shakes Bryan’s hand and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was WAY better with the interesting angles and good promos shining through. The other stuff however, including far too much Vickie and Brad, dragged things back down to earth. Those two are so annoying and nothing ever comes of them, making all their heat worthless. We had less time spent on McMahons as well which is a huge help, but transferring their time over to other authority figures doesn’t make things any better. It’s a good show but it needs more focus on interesting stories instead of whatever the bosses are up to.

Results

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan went to a double disqualification

Sheamus/Christian b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Rhodes

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear

Chris Jericho b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Usos b. Tons of Funk and 3MB – Superfly Splash to Tensai

CM Punk b. Darren Young – Anaconda Vice

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – NO Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: June 21, 2013
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Payback now and the main story is the double turn by Ziggler and new world champion Alberto Del Rio. That’s the best outcome as Del Rio was only working to an extent as a face while Ziggler was getting over more and more as a good guy. Other than that we have Bryan vs. Orton tonight in a continuation/rematch from their stopped match on Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the results from Payback. That’s one thing I liked about WCW: other than the main events, they made sure to not tell you who won a lot of the matches until the replays were off PPV. Now you have clips of the endings to most of the matches, leaving no reason to buy the replay.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show. Until Monday, he had never had a match stopped due to injury in his entire career. The doctor asked if he could continue and he said YES, but the company line was that they were worried for his health. Realistically though, they stopped the match because they think he’s the weak link and not tough enough.

The worst person in all of this was Randy Orton and we get a clip of Orton helping Bryan up after the match. Bryan says that if Orton thought he was the strong link, he would have begged for the match to keep going. The match should have kept going, but Bryan’s YES chant is cut off by Randy Orton.

Orton comes to the ring shaking his head and mouthing the words “you’re wrong.” Randy says the match was stopped for Bryan’s well being, not because anyone thought he was weak. Bryan kept coming during the match and that made Orton respect him even more. When Orton helped him up, it was out of respect, not pity. Bryan yells that Orton is patronizing him after giving Bryan respect for beating Shield last week. Orton says fine, if Bryan wants a rematch he can have one tonight. This time though, Bryan will be carried out.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody drew the long straw to get this match tonight. Sheamus gets two off a quick suplex but Cody elbows out of the fireman’s carry roll. Cody goes to the middle rope but gets snapmared down before rolling to the floor. Rhodes sends Sheamus into the barricade before stomping away back inside. A running knee to the head gets two for Cody and it’s off to an armbar.

Sheamus fights up but misses a charge into the corner, giving Rhodes two off a rollup. The slingshot shoulder is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar but Cody just lets it go. Sheamus shrugs all of the offense off and hits a sledge to the Cody’s face. The fireman’s carry slam looks to set up White Noise but Cody rolls out, only to be pulled into the Cloverleaf for the tap out at 5:37.

Rating: D. This was bad even by this pair’s standards. The total lack of selling of the arm by Sheamus was surprising as Cody worked on it for a few minutes before Sheamus just fought back like it was nothing. The main problem here though is the same we’ve seen with every one on one match between the Scholars and Sheamus: the winner is never in doubt.

Sandow jumps Sheamus post match.

Wyatt Family promo.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Wade Barrett

The title looks good on Axel. Miz is on commentary for this rare heel vs. heel match. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Wade forearms him down for two. Curtis comes back with a good looking dropkick to take over and drops some elbows to the chest for two. Wade grabs a quick suplex for two of his own as the announcers debate if Barrett should have gotten his rematch on Monday. Barrett hits his big boot to send Axel out to the floor and another big boot hits for two back inside. Axel avoids a middle rope elbow and hits a Hennig necksnap followed by the McGillicutter to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D+. This was an 80s punch/kick for the first few minutes until Barrett turned things up a bit at the end. Axel pinning Wade clean is an important step for him as now he’s pinned the former champion without any help at all. It would appear that Miz is next but hopefully there’s more to the title after that match.

Post match Miz gets in the ring to stare down Axel but Heyman gets the champion out of the way.

Video on Mark Henry’s fake retirement and attack on Cena from Raw.

AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Non-title. Natalya immediately takes AJ down but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Instead she puts on a strange looking leglock where Natalya’s knees are between AJ’s knees and stretching them apart with both girls on their backs. AJ makes the rope and puts on a quick sleeper…..as we take a break? In this match? Back with Natalya getting two off a snap suplex and a clothesline. Natalya shouts that AJ has no respect but AJ counters a slam into the Black Widow for the pin at 2:20 shown of 4:50.

Layla and Kaitlyn are watching in the back when Aksana comes up and calls Katilyn trash. Kaitlyn snaps and beats Aksana up before pouring trash on her.

Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Jericho takes him into the corner to start and chokes Del Rio on the middle rope before getting two off a knee to the back. Del Rio gets a boot up in the corner to drop Jericho but misses a running kick and falls out to the floor. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to drop Alberto again. A Ricardo distraction lets the champion get in a cheap shot to take over as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Chris back to the floor and whipping him into the barricade. They head back inside and Alberto misses a charge into the post to shift momentum again. The top rope ax handle looks to set up the Walls but Alberto spins out and kicks Jericho in the head for two. The corner enziguri misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog and Lionsault. Jericho loads up the Walls but Del Rio counters into the cross armbreaker which is countered into the Walls but Chris has to go after Ricardo. Jericho puts Rodriguez in the Liontamer but Ziggler runs in for the DQ at 5:34 shown of 8:04.

Rating: C+. The sequence right before the ending was good but I’m not wild on the ending. It wouldn’t hurt Jericho to lose here and make Del Rio look good, even if it was by cheating. The Ziggler vs. Del Rio feud is getting good in a hurry and the match should be a solid blowoff. This was fine for a TV match though and could have been better with more time.

Del Rio runs off and Jericho gives Ziggler a Codebreaker post match. Jericho leaves and the champion comes back to pick the bones with a hard kick to Ziggler’s head. The audience sounded like they were looking at a heel turn by Jericho but I don’t think it was meant to be one.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian

Christian sends him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take Drew down. Back in and Christian tags him with an uppercut but dives into a spinning sitout Rock Bottom from McIntyre for two. Not that it matters much as Christian takes out the other Band members and hits the Killswitch for the pin at 1:50.

Post match Christian says it feels great to be back here for one more match. Cue Shield to lay Christian out with the TripleBomb.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

We recap the events of Raw with Punk splitting with Heyman and fighting Del Rio in the main event. Alberto walked out on the match and was jumped by Ziggler, only to have Lesnar come out and attack Punk.

Heyman doesn’t want to talk about the Punk issues so he turns the interview around on Renee Young, asking her a lot of personal questions about topics like her father and her ex-fiance. Heyman suggests that next time, she should talk about Curtis Axel.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan charges right at Orton and they slug it out in the corner. Orton throws him to the mat and stomps away but Bryan gets up and fires right hands. It’s rare for Bryan to throw punches and they’re better than I expected. Randy knocks him right back down but misses a knee drop to the face. Bryan kicks away and hooks a leg lock, only to have Orton counter into a headlock. Orton blocks the NO Lock and hits a backbreaker to finally give them a breather. The first few minutes of the match were continuous punching and holds.

Orton drapes Bryan ribs first onto the top rope and suplexes him over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan fighting out of a superplex and dropping Orton with a missile dropkick. Daniel fires off the kicks in the corner and hits a running dropkick for two. Bryan moonsaults over Orton out of the corner but walks into the snap powerslam for two. Orton gets caught in a backslide for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and head for a two count.

Bryan goes up again but gets crotched and superplexed down for a very close two. The Elevated DDT connects but Bryan rolls to the floor to avoid the RKO. Orton drops Bryan back first onto the barricade but Bryan shoves him into the barricade. The flying knee off the apron sets up the FLYING GOAT and Bryan beats the count back in at 10:36 shown of 13:06.

Rating: B-. This was a nice back and forth match and they did a good job of making Bryan look strong after last week’s big win over the Shield.  The idea of Bryan being able to get back in at the alst second kept both guys look strong which is a good idea for Orton going forward.

Bryan wants the match restarted but Orton just stares at him as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. This was another good show as we had some solid action and nothing bad on the entire show save for a dull Sheamus vs. Rhodes match. Bryan continues to be so over it’s unreal and the Ziggler face push is coming quickly. The WWE is starting to get on a roll which is a good sign after a very dull spring.

Results

Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Cloverleaf

Curtis Axel b. Wade Barrett – McGillicutter

AJ Lee b. Natalya – Black Widow

Alberto Del Rio b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interefered

Christian b. Drew McIntyre – Killswitch

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 17, 2013
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Payback now and moving towards July’s Money in the Bank. Cena has retained his title but we had a very interesting development: the ultra rare double turn for Del Rio and Ziggler as Alberto won the World Heavyweight Championship by doing some very bad things to Ziggler’s injured head. It should be interesting to see where things go over the summer. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual package of still photos from Payback last night, complete with the voiceover dude.

Here’s Del Rio to open things up. He asks us how his weekend was before telling us that his was excellent. Del Rio isn’t pleased that the fans were cheering for Ziggler after he won the title back last night in controversial fashion. The fans chant for Ziggler again and Del Rio yells at them for chanting USA the night before.

He says this is what America is all about: pigs and cowards. Del Rio says he’s spent the last five months fighting for us and he’s gotten nothing (other than the world title) but last night he fought for himself and won the world title. He’s willing to give the people a second chance though so we have another chance to show him the respect that he deserves.

Cue Punk to an ERUPTION. He says it’s been awhile since he beat Del Rio for the world title at Survivor Series 2011. Punk doesn’t like hearing Del Rio call himself the best so Alberto holds up the belt. Punk challenges him to a title match but Heyman says that Punk doesn’t fight for free. That’s not cool with Punk though because he wants to fight no matter what.

Yeah Punk is banged up but when Del Rio was stealing the title, Punk was stealing the show. Punk still wants a match tonight but Del Rio says Punk doesn’t want any of him. With that not being an option, Punk offers to fight Ricardo but here are Vickie and Maddox for an interruption. She says it’s Del Rio vs. Punk tonight but makes no mention of the title being on the line.

Punk says that he respects Paul Heyman but he isn’t a client. From now on, Punk doesn’t want Heyman out there for his matches. Punk respects him but he doesn’t want him there.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Wade Barrett

Before Axel’s entrance, Vickie interferes and makes it Barrett vs…….CHRISTIAN!

Wade Barrett vs. Christian

Christian takes it to the floor to start and hits a BIG dive to take out Barrett. Back in and Barrett hooks a chinlock, only to have Christian fight up and hit a tornado DDT for two. Wade kicks him in the ribs for two but Christian avoids a charge in the corner. The Killswitch ends Barrett in 3:10.

Rating: C-. That’s a nice return for Christian but the guy isn’t going to be a huge star like people think he’s going to be. Barrett’s slide continues and I’m thinking his time of mattering in WWE whatsoever is almost done. There’s just nothing here for him as he hasn’t done anything of note in forever.

You can pick No DQ, 2/3 falls or no countout for Bryan vs. Orton later on.

The Wyatt Family is coming.

Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars

For those of you not happy with Sheamus beating one of them at once, now he gets to beat both of them AT THE SAME TIME! The Scholars don’t have to tag so they manage to stomp Sheamus down and hit a double snap suplex for two. A kick to the face sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two on Sheamus. Cody slaps Sheamus in the face and the one on two beatdown begins. Rhodes is sent to the floor and Sheamus hits the Regal Roll on Sandow. The ten forearms crush Cody and White Noise crushes the crushed remains of Cody Rhodes even further. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but gets rolled up by Sandow for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D-. I love Sheamus but DEAR GOD LET THIS FREAKING FEUD END ALREADY. Scratch that. This isn’t a feud. This is Sheamus swatting away flies for an extended period of time. It’s not fun, it’s not interesting, and the matches aren’t any good. Is there NOTHING else that Sheamus could be doing at all? NOTHING?

Mark Henry might retire later tonight.

RVD is back at MITB.

HHH is in the back with Vickie and Brad. Vickie sucks up to him but HHH wants to know what the main event was going to be if Punk didn’t question him. He also wants to know why Christian has been medically cleared for a month and a half and not been back until tonight. Also, why didn’t he hear about either Brad or Vickie when he was negotiating for RVD’s return? As for Shield, if they get involved then play tough with them. HHH thinks it’s a stroke of genius to put 3MB on the show tonight as well. HHH’s questions were HILARIOUS.

Yeah I just said that. Why do you ask?

Bryan doesn’t want to hear it from Kane that he told Bryan so. Kane thinks HELL NO should reunite but Bryan only wants to think about Team DB, Team Daniel Bryan. Kane: “Well that’s good because you’re acting like a D.B.” They both say they want to win the WWE Championship and they don’t know if the team is done or not. Kane wishes him good luck tonight, which Bryan interprets as Kane saying he’s the weak link.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Before the match we hear Orton saying that Bryan is the weak link in the team and is the reason they lost the title match last night. The match is going to be No DQ with 54% of the vote. Bryan goes after the arm to start but Orton reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Daniel fights up and kicks away at the legs before hitting the double knee stomp out of the surfboard. Orton comes back to stomp Bryan down into the corner and puts Daniel down off the slingshot suplex.

Bryan counters the Thesz Press into a half crab but Orton grabs the ropes. More kicks in the corner put Orton down again but he comes back with a clothesline and a chinlock. Back up and Orton pounds away in the corner but Bryan comes back with the moonsault out of the corner and a running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner get two for Daniel but Orton avoids the FLYING GOAT. Orton pulls out a kendo stick to pound on Bryan for two back in the ring and we take a break.

Back with Bryan blocking a superplex and hitting the missile dropkick for no cover. Orton comes back with the powerslam and Bryan goes to the apron for the Elevated DDT, only to have Bryan fight out and go for the NO Lock. Orton counters into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron and a kick to the ribs puts him on the floor. It appeared to be a low blow so here’s a trainer to check on Bryan. Back in and Bryan pounds away before they head to the floor again. Orton belly to back suplexes Daniel onto the barricade so the referee checks again…..and the match at 15:00.

Rating: C+. Uh…..WHAT? That’s either the start of an angle or a legit injury when Bryan went into the barricade earlier. Bryan seemed fine but if a doctor saw something in him that we didn’t then the match should have been stopped. Either way, it was getting good until the sudden ending but never hit a high level.

Post match Orton helps Bryan up and nothing else happens, making me think it was a legit stoppage.

Here’s AJ to brag about winning the Divas Title by crushing Kaitlyn’s spirit. AJ says that she’s the hero of the story because she’s a woman that knows how to get what she wants. There isn’t a woman in the audience or locker room who is as strong, brilliant or courageous as she is. AJ issues an open challenge to the locker room and gets…….STEPHANIE MCMAHON???

Stephanie compliments AJ on her victory but thinks what AJ was saying was degrading to women. It’s time for AJ to start acting like a champion, about 23 hours since she won the title. AJ: “Instead of acting like a superstar, maybe I should marry one.” Stephanie says no one does crazy like the McMahons but AJ says she’s the younger version of Stephanie, just without a fancy pantsuit. Cue an army of Divas but Stephanie cuts off Kaitlyn, threatening her with punishment for ever interrupting her again. The fans tell Kaitlyn that she tapped off while Kaitlyn yells at AJ. The beatdown is on but Langston saves a screaming AJ.

US Title: Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

This is a rematch from last night with Dean defending. Kane hits some quick uppercuts and a powerslam for two. Apparently Bryan might have some nerve damage but is still being checked. Kane fires off some clotheslines in the corner and gets two off the side slam. Not that it matters as here’s Reigns for the DQ at 1:35.

Shield beats Kane down post match with the TripleBomb.

Mark Henry is here.

Vickie yells at Shield in the back but Vince comes in and compliments their ruthless aggression, meaning Vince vs. HHH MUST CONTINUE!!!

We’re now getting regular commercials for the WWE App. My girlfriend downloaded it the other day for fun and it’s nothing. It’s a string of videos and access to a social media thing where you can hashtag your city. There’s also a breaking news section with nothing in it that we could see.

Here’s Zeb Colter to say that he’s bringing Antonio Cesaro to his team. In other words, he’s now a jobber to the stars with a manager. Cole immediately buries the idea on commentary.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

Cesaro pounds him down and hits the gutwrench suplex as the announcers ignore the match to bicker. A delayed backdrop gets two on Regal and Cesaro hooks a swinging chinlock of all things. The Neutralizer ends Regal at 2:43.

Cesaro drapes a Don’t Treat On Me flag over Regal as Cole is literally laughing at this.

Here’s Cena for a chat. He loves being booed by the fans because they can cheer anyone they want. Some people love Punk and boo him all night and that’s perfectly fine with him. He goes to war every time he defends the title and after putting Ryback in an ambulance last night, he gets to say the champ is here. For everyone who never left his side, thank you. He can take any challenge that anyone puts in front of him and can’t wait for Money in the Bank.

Cena doesn’t care who challenges him that night because he’ll be ready. He knows he won’t have the title forever but the next person to hold it will earn it because the champ is here. The fans seemed receptive to Cena tonight….and here’s Mark Henry. He leaves a pair of boots on the stage and tells Cena he can put his guard down. Henry has watched Cena rise through the WWE and thinks Cena is doing a great job. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Henry says if you don’t remember the moment, at least you’ll remember his salmon colored coat.

Henry is proud of all of his success in the business as a former ECW Champion and World Heavyweight Champion. However, due to all of his injuries, he’s going to have to retire. The fans chant one more match and Cena hands Henry the title. Henry holds up the belt but hands it back to Cena because he never earned it. Henry talks about his family and says they’re going to get sick of them because he’s coming home. Cena shakes his hand….AND GETS A WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM? Henry shouts that he has a lot left in the tank and says that the title will be his.

Post break Henry says all the people are puppets and everyone bought it.

Heath Slater vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho pounds him down with ease but Jinder Mahal breaks up the Lionsault to give Slater two. If my memory is right, Slater beat Jericho back in the first season of NXT. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker ends Slater at 2:20. Nothing to see here.

Post match Jericho beats up the rest of the Band because he can.

Paul Heyman doesn’t want to answer any questions about CM Punk. He says that he knows when to give his friends space and thinks we should be talking about the Intercontinental Champion. New catchphrase for Axel: he was born to be better than perfect. I think I like that one.

Sin Cara vs. Curtis Axel

Miz is on commentary. This is Axel’s third match against Sin Cara in less than six months. A quick backbreaker puts Cara down and a shoulder block puts him down again. There’s a quick belly to back suplex for two but Cara comes back with a DDT. Cara’s Swanton hits knees and a spinning DDT ends Cara at 2:40. Total squash.

Vince approves Henry vs. Cena for MITB when Stephanie and HHH come in. Trips gets on Vickie for not listening to him and glares at Vince.

Heyman sucks up to Punk and says he’ll be cheering for Punk tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Non-title and Del Rio runs to the floor twice in the first minute. Punk finally goes to the floor but gets stomped down on the way back in. Del Rio kicks him in the head and pounds him to the floor, only to have Punk whip him into the barricade to take over again. Punk takes too long to shout at Ricardo on the way back in though, allowing Del Rio to snap Punk’s arm over the top rope as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio kicking Punk in the head as we hear that Bryan will be ready to go on Friday. Alberto goes up for an ax handle but gets punched in the ribs on the way down. Del Rio gets in another kick to the arm to send Punk into the ropes for the Backstabber for two. The low superkick is countered into a rollup for two and now the low superkick connects for two for the champion. The cross armbreaker is countered into the GTS but Del Rio rolls to the outside. Alberto walks out for the countout at 11:30.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but it worked well enough all things considered. This was really just a backdrop for the post match stuff which we’ll go to now because it’s more interesting than this match.

Post match Ziggler runs out and DESTROYS Del Rio to a mammoth face reaction.

Punk is still standing in the ring and LESNAR! He picks up a mic but says nothing. Instead he picks up Punk and lays him out with a massive F5 to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I was digging tonight’s show as it had a certain edge to it. Stuff was set up for Money in the Bank, we got some decent action, we had a return, and we had some humorous lines from HHH to Vickie. The main story continues to be Vince vs. HHH which is still a stupid power control angle that has been done so many times and I have no idea why they think this is the best way to go. I was digging the show tonight for the first time in a long time though which is a great sign coming off a solid PPV.

Results

Christian b. Wade Barrett – Killswitch

Rhodes Scholars b. Sheamus – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan via referee stoppage

Kane b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. William Regal – Neutralizer

Chris Jericho b. 3MB – Codebreaker

Curtis Axel b. Sin Cara – Spinning DDT

CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

This is an interesting show in that the card looks good on paper but when you think about how things have been built up it’s hard to care at all about it.  The shows leading up to it have been dominated by HHH vs. Vince vs. Axel with Axel being a pawn in the entire thing.  A challenge to you: explain in two coherent sentences what the Vince vs. HHH feud is about.  If it takes you more than ten seconds, it’s too complicated a story.  As for the rest of the show, it really pales in comparison other than the Shield stuff.  Let’s get to it.Sheamus will beat Damien Sandow because that’s what he does.  Nothing else to say.

Starting with the main event, I’ll go with Cena over Ryback.  This match is designed to have Cena go over a monster and look strong in the process.  The fact taht Ryback will have lost for the tenth straight month of PPVs in a row is an afterthought but Ryback means nothing anyway.  Cena wins the first fall, Ryback wins the second, Cena wins the third.  There’s nothing much to the match but it should be a fun garbage brawl.

Punk returns for the win to a big reaction from the hometown fans.  The interesting questions here are whether Punk shows up as well as what reaction Jericho will get.  Punk will clearly be the top star there, but can you imagine a bunch of smarks booing Chris Jericho?  The match should be awesome and Punk coming back is a big deal so this should be good.

I’ll take Shield to keep all of their titles with Orton taking the fall for the challengers.  Bryan is on fire but a tag title would be back to what he’s been doing for the better part of a year.  Kane will be a good first victim for Ambrose in his title reign.  The matches should be good and they’ve been well built up over the last few months.

Axel to win the title, which will be yet another death knell in his WWE run.  Miz continues to be nothing special in his face role, although I am glad to see the Skull Crushing Finale making a comeback.

AJ wins the title she should have won six months ago.

Ziggler retains the title as well to finally finish Del Rio.

Overall Payback should be entertaining but the numbers are going to SUCK.  No one is interested in the show because the world title has been a complete afterthought, making Punk vs. Jericho the default main event.  I don’t think anyone gives Ryback a chance but he has been doing better with his promos lately.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Payback and the main story tonight is HHH vs. Axel II, assuming the match actually happens. Last week Vince and Stephanie talked him out of it, which made for a less interesting show than it could have been otherwise. I’d look for the match to be pushed back again until Payback, where HHH likely puts Axel over….in theory. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and the McMahon’s issues from last week. As in we recap the WHOLE THING.

Curtis Axel vs. HHH

Axel is a bit hesitant to get in the ring. The bell sounds odd for some reason tonight. HHH pounds away in the corner to start and hits a quick suplex for two. Here’s Vince of all people to say that the match is over with Axel winning via DQ at about 90 seconds. This can’t end well.

Actually scratch that as HHH says restart it. The match continues for a few seconds and here’s Vince again to say HHH loses via forfeit. HHH starts it again and this time it’s a 60 minute iron man match. This time Vince takes the bell away and the match just ends. This was less than five minutes from opening to closing bell.

Ryback and Cena will be face to face tonight.

Post break Stephanie begs HHH to think of Vince because he’s old and doesn’t have much time left. HHH says he’ll talk to Vince if Stephanie goes to calm him down first.

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean pounds on him in the corner but gets caught by a big boot to the face for two. Kane takes his turn at pounding away in the corner and hits a backbreaker for no cover. It looks like Kane has a huge bald spot on the right hand side of his head. Ambrose is whipped into the ropes and hit with another backbreaker as the referee brings out the bell. Dean misses a charge and is sent to the floor where he jumps into an uppercut as we take a break.

Back with Dean kicking Kane in the ribs as we see Orton watching in the back on the WWE App. Kane comes back with a boot to the face before tossing Ambrose into the corner. Dean is slammed face first into the mat before being taken into the corner. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ambrose bails to the floor as Reigns comes in for the DQ at 11:23.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it was mainly just killing time until the DQ ending. That’s getting really annoying in the singles matches with the Shield involved but it’s the best they can do because they don’t want to job the Shield. Why they didn’t just job Kane is beyond me, especially in a non-title match.

Sheamus vs. Sandow is on the pre-show Sunday.

You can pick Rollins or Reigns to face Bryan tonight.

Rollins wins 66-33. Orton will face Reigns.

We get a clip of Bryan accidentally dropkicking Orton on Smackdown.

Orton and Bryan are arguing in the back when Kane comes in and says to chill. Apparently they have matches against Reigns and Rollins tonight. I know this because Kane helpfully explained the graphics we say a full 40 seconds ago. Vickie comes in and makes Orton/Bryan vs. Reigns/Rollins and Kane vs. Ambrose for the titles on Sunday. Kane is so happy that he hugs Vickie with a goofy grin on his face.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Barrett is on commentary as we’re told that Fandango won’t be allowed to compete in the triple threat match, meaning Barrett defends against Miz alone. Miz pounds on Rhodes to start and hits the corner clothesline for no cover. The top rope ax handle misses though and Cody goes after Miz’s knee. A front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a modified Indian deathlock on Miz. Not that it matters much as Miz counters into the Figure Four for the tap out at 2:36.

Heyman comes out before Miz and Fandango leave and announces that Axel is replacing Fandango in the triple threat. Axel says that him winning the IC Title on Sunday would be the perfect ending to the match on Sunday.

Mark Henry is coming back.

We recap the opening of the show.

Vince and Stephanie are in the back but Vince won’t look at her. She knows he’s upset and is just trying to protect Hunter, but HHH is a proud man and Vince stepped all over him out there. Vince doesn’t like this idea of him not having much time left and is mad at HHH for making Stephanie cry. He cares about business first and Stephanie agrees, but business has to come first. If Vince tries to talk to him, Stephanie will be even more upset.

Here’s Jericho for the hard sell before his match with Punk on Sunday. He talks about how the two of them came into the business with a huge chip on their shoulders and they both think they’re the best in the world. They’ll continue their awesome trilogy that was started last year and Punk will never (EVER!) forget him.

This brings out Ziggler who says that he’s making his triumphant return here to steal the show from Jericho. Dolph talks about stealing the show every night and that on Sunday he’ll prove that he’s better than Del Rio in every way. Jericho cuts him off and asks Ziggler if he wants a tuneup match tonight. Ziggler says sure…..but with Jericho facing Langston. The match is after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Big E. Langston

This is joined in progress with both guys on the floor before Jericho heads inside for a quick baseball slide to take Langston down. Big E. whips Jericho into the steps to take over and heads in for some shoulders tot he ribs. Alberto Del Rio is ranting about something on the WWE App as Langston charges shoulder first into the post, giving Jericho a two count. Langston runs him over for the same result and pounds away for good measure.

Jericho fires back with an enzguri for two but his cross body is caught in a trio of backbreakers for two. Chris comes right back with a top rope cross body for two of his own but a Ziggler distraction lets Langston run him over with ease. A Del Rio distraction breaks up the Big Ending though and it’s a Codebreaker for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. Jericho is fine for a spot like this, but the Del Rio vs. Ziggler feud has lost so much steam over the last few weeks due to Ziggler’s injury. There’s no shame for Langston to lose to someone like Jericho, but it’s a bad spot for him to be in when he could be such a huge deal with the lightest tweaking. Good enough match here but it was nothing great.

Jericho celebrates as Ziggler tells Del Rio no way.

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

Zeb Colter is at ringside, claiming that Cara snuck across our borders in the middle of the night but Cesaro is ok because he came into the country legally. So why was Colter not ok with Barrett months back? Sin Cara hooks a quick wristlock before getting slammed out of the corner for no cover. The gutwrench suplex sets up a powerslam for two before Cesaro pounds away on Cara’s face.

A double stomp gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Cara hooks his spinning headscissors and a sunset bomb for two. Cole rants about Colter making money in the foreign country of Puerto Rico as Cesaro catches a cross body in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A spinning chinlock (you read that right) sets up the Neutralizer for the pin on Sin Cara at 3:52.

Rating: C. I could live with Cesaro as Colter’s new guy, although it doesn’t fit with past continuity. If nothing else it would give Cesaro ANYTHING else to do instead of the vacuum he’s stuck in now. Sin Cara is long past being a bust and it’s kind of sad to see him lose time after time like this anymore.

Bray Wyatt and the Family are still coming.

Vickie and Brad Maddox plug the new Hardee’s burger until Vince comes in to glare at them. Vince is ticked off about Ryback and Cena going face to face tonight because it could put the PPV main event in jeopardy. Vickie’s answer is to cancel the match tonight (they have a match?) but Brad suggests to have the lumberjacks out there as security. Vince is pleased and tells Vickie to share her burger with Brad.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match here’s Daniel Bryan to be in Orton’s corner. Orton pounds away on Reigns to start and gets two off a dropkick. We get an abbreviated Orton Stomp and a knee drop to the chest for two but Randy goes after Rollins on the floor. Seth’s distraction does nothing for Roman as Orton drops him back first onto the barricade for two back inside. Orton misses another kneedrop and Roman takes over to stomp away in the corner.

Orton comes right back with the Thesz Press and some right hands in the corner to take over. Randy goes to the middle rope on the inside but a Superman punch knocks him to the floor and us to a break. Back with Roman holding a chinlock as Bryan plays cheerleader on the floor. Randy fights up but gets taken down by a running clothesline for two more. Kane is watching in the back on the WWE App! LIVE! Off to another chinlock by Reigns but Orton suplexes out of it to put both guys down.

Randy is starting to feel it and hits a bunch of clotheslines followed by the backbreaker to counter a Samoan Drop. Reigns rolls to the apron like an idiot, earning himself that Elevated DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Orton has to put Rollins in position for the Elevated DDT. Reigns makes the save but Bryan hits the suicide dive on both Shield members for the DQ at 12:30. Make that a no contest because WWE is afraid to call a DQ for some reason.

Rating: C+. Again, as we not allowed to have Shield get a finish in a one on one match? I understand the idea of not wanting to have either guy lose going into the PPV on Sunday, but maybe they shouldn’t be having the match six days before the PPV. The match was pretty good for the most part, other than one too many rest holds by Reigns.

The next match begins immediately.

Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins

Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and fires off the kicks followed by a knee to the ribs. Daniel alternates between knees, elbows and kicks with the YES chants getting louder and louder every time. Rapid fire elbows to the chest get two and hooks the double knee stop out of the surfboard. Rollins runs to the floor, only to be taken out by a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. Bryan hits the running knee off the apron for two back inside as Rollins is in big trouble early on.

Seth avoids a right hand and hooks the Downward Spiral into the middle turnbuckle for two. In a nice move, Rollins uses Bryan’s own surfboard against him but Daniel quickly escapes and fires off kicks to Seth’s leg. There’s a surfboard on Rollins but Bryan pulls his head down into a Dragon Sleeper for extra pressure. Seth elbows out and we take a break to come back with Seth holding a chinlock. A forearm to the face gets two for Seth as Cole lists off a bunch of channels the show is airing on that no one but WWE cares about.

Back to the chinlock by Rollins as JBL talks about how awesome this show is. Bryan fights up and ducks an enziguri into a half crab but Seth is quickly into the ropes. Bryan fires off some kicks in the corner followed by a pair of running dropkicks for two. Back up again and Rollins hits the enziguri for two before firing off Bryan’s own kicks against him. Daniel’s hurricanrana is countered into a buckle bomb for two as the fans are all behind Bryan.

Seth kicks away in the corner but is backdropped out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked by a forearm but Bryan hooks Douglas Williams’ Rolling Chaos Theory suplex for two. Bryan gets crotched on the top rope but escapes a superplex into a belly to back superplex which is countered into a midair cross body for no cover. Orton takes out Reigns before he can interfere, allowing Bryan to roll up Rollins for the pin at 15:30.

Rating: B+. That’s more like it! I get that you can’t have great matches all the time, but at the same time you need to have some high quality matches like this every now and then. Bryan is just MAD over right now and if they tweak his character in anything more than a minor way they’re insane. He’s ready for a main event push RIGHT NOW but I’m afraid they’ll be worried about the sagging ratings and ignore how over he is because he’s not “a draw”.

Post match Orton hits an RKO on Rollins and the fans go INSANE with YES chants and the Bryan pointing.

In case you missed it the first two times, here’s another recap of the HHH/Stephanie/Vince stuff. Oh and Curtis Axel is in there too.

WWE does stuff with the Special Olympics.

It’s time for Kaitlyn’s secret admirer to be revealed and it’s…..Big E. Langston. He hands Kaitlyn some flowers and says that this is odd because he’s such a big guy who constantly beats people up. However since he first saw Kaitlyn, she’s all he can think about. Kaitlyn looks very nervous as Langston leans in to kiss her, only to drop her on the mat instead.

Cue AJ because it was a SWERVE! She yells at Kaitlyn about feeling worthless because Kaitlyn was never there when AJ was having her heart broken. Instead of being there, Kaitlyn was off chasing the Divas Title. AJ can beat her mentally because Kaitlyn is trash and no one cares about her. The only thing Kaitlyn has of value is the title and that’s gone on Sunday. AJ says that Kaitlyn can go back to her trailer park after the match on Sunday but the brawl is on now with Kaitlyn being left glaring at the crazy chick.

Bray Wyatt quotes the Bible (what happens to a man who gains the world but loses his soul?) and says they’re coming.

Damien Sandow vs. R-Truth

This match has two purposes: hyping up Sandow as having a chance on Sunday and letting Jerry Lawler drool over a burger and shake from Sonic. Sandow quickly takes it to the floor and rams Truth back first into the apron before pounding away on the ribs. Back in and Damien stomps Truth down before hooking a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and the Silencer is good for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D. Sandow has no chance on Sunday. There’s nothing else to talk about here at all.

Post match here’s Sheamus to congratulate Sandow on his win and say that he’ll kick Sandow’s head off at the Payback kickoff.

Stephanie is in the back and sends a messenger to find Vince for a meeting in their office. She sends another to find HHH for a meeting in their office.

Video on Ryback’s path of destruction towards Cena for the Three Stages of Hell match on Sunday.

Vickie and Maddox bring out the lumberjacks (the entire roster) to protect Cena and Ryback from fighting. We take a break at 10:55 with this and the McMahons to go.

Back from break with Vince and HHH arguing in the back with Stephanie in between them. She SCREECHES at them to stop and work it out because she’s tired of it. Vince won’t apologize because he wants HHH to be more than a legend or a big deal or a champion. He wants HHH to be THE MAN. HHH wants a match with Curtis Axel and Vince likes the idea but they get in an argument over who wants to see the match. Then Stephanie comes back in and asks for a group hug. Vince says he’ll hug Stephanie and HHH can hug them both. The guys slap each others’ backs hard and that’s it. Seriously, we spent all night setting up THAT.

It’s 11:03 and here’s the world champion for the first time tonight. Ryback stands in the aisle but Cena is ticked off that this isn’t really face to face. They argue about the same things they’ve fought about for weeks: Ryback should have been champion but it’s Cena’s fault, Cena says that Ryback should take account of his own failures because THE CHAMP IS HERE. Ryback says he can see Cena and the legend ends when Ryback wins the title on Sunday in three stages. Cena wants to fight now but the lumberjacks hold him back. They get in the ring and the brawl is on, but both guys are held back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the problem with Raw in a nutshell: it’s a solid two hour show but the extra sixty minutes of filler drags it down. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s been the problem for nearly a year since the show went to three hours. There are some solid stories and interesting action on here, but the constant recaps of stuff we saw 45 minutes ago and the incessant commercials for WWE App make this a chore to sit through at three hours. I’m sure the solution is more Vince, Stephanie and HHH though, because there’s no way they’re taking it back to two hours.

Results

HHH vs. Curtis Axel went to a no contest

Kane b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four

Chris Jericho b. Big E. Langston – Codebreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Small Package

Damien Sandow b. R-Truth – Silencer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: June 7, 2013
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming up on Payback with the big story at the moment being the rise of Daniel Bryan. Since HELL NO lost the tag titles Bryan has been on a rampage to prove that he isn’t the weak link, which has provided some very entertaining moments from him in the past few weeks. Other than that we have Orton teaming up with whomever he can find to fight the Shield. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap is a video of the contract signing for Jericho vs. Punk at Payback. We also see Bryan yelling at Orton about not being the weak link.

We open the show with MizTV with guests Randy Orton and HELL NO. Bryan thanks Kane for being the best partner he could ask for and not helping him in the match against Ryback on Raw. Miz talks about Bryan cleaning house of the Shield last week and we get a loud YES chant. Bryan thinks people still look at him like a goat faced vegan troll so Orton and Kane think that Bryan’s head is a bit messed up.

Kane insists that everyone respects Bryan although Orton is getting tired of Bryan whining about respect. Bryan blames Orton for the loss to the Shield on Monday, so Orton says we’re back in crazy town. Kane tries to get Bryan out of there but Bryan yells that Kane should have his back. Kane says he always has Bryan’s back but he’s tired of Bryan not trusting him.

Bryan wants to know why he should trust Kane. That’s a good question given Kane’s history. He also wants to know why Kane doesn’t come to his aid more often and thinks Kane is only teaming with him because there’s no one better for Kane to hook up with. Kane bails and Miz thinks we just saw the breakup of HELL NO. Bryan says yeah we did but NO he is not to blame for this. Teddy Long comes out and makes Orton/Bryan vs. Shield for later. Pretty solid opening segment actually.

Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel

On the way to the ring, Heyman brags about Axel beating HHH and Cena twice with Axel saying that Jericho will learn what it means to be perfect. Paul jumps in on commentary as the guys in the ring run the ropes a bit. Jericho takes him down with a dropkick and chops away at the chest. They head to the floor with Jericho ramming Axel into the announce table before heading back inside. We take a break and come back with Axel chopping Jericho for two and hitting the Hennig Necksnap for two more.

Axel hooks the chinlock as Heyman guarantees that Punk will be in Chicago for Payback. Jericho elbows his way out of the hold and drops him with a top rope ax handle. Axel kicks out of the Walls but Jericho takes him down with a quick bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Curtis hits the McGillicutter for two.

Jericho gets up an elbow in the corner and hits a top rope cross body for two of his own. The Walls go on this time but Axel gets to the ropes before too much damage can be done. Jericho dropkicks him to the floor so Heyman shouts IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME! Punk’s music hits and the arena explodes, but it’s a ploy allowing Axel to roll Jericho up for the pin at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: C. This was fine and it’s a pinfall win for Axel which is what he’s been needing for awhile. Jericho is still perfect in his role as the king of the jobbers since he’s never going to fall down the card because of losses. It sets up the Punk match even better and we get some credibility for Axel. Even if it wasn’t an entirely clean pin, Heyman can spend a week bragging about another world champion losing to Axel.

Post match Jericho charges back into the ring and hits Axel with a Codebreaker.

Ryback comes up to Kane and brags about beating Bryan last week. A match is made for later tonight. Ryback says he rules, but Kane says he’s tombstoned a priest and buried his brother alive, so the rules don’t apply to him.

The Wyatt Family is coming.

Video from Raw on the McMahon family drama with Vince and Stephanie trying to talk HHH out of fighting anymore.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Heath Slater

Well at least it’s not Langston. All three members of the Band jump Del Rio but he fires off kicks to throw them out. There’s the armbreaker on Slater but I don’t think the bell ever rang to start the match. Del Rio and Ricardo clear the ring with Ricardo hitting a dive off the top to take out Mahal and McIntyre.

With Alberto still in the ring, Ziggler pops up on screen and says he’ll be back on Monday.

Ryback vs. Kane

Ryback shoves him into the corner to start and tells Kane to do something about it. Kane comes back with an uppercut but Ryback runs him over with a shoulder block. Kane clotheslines him down and hits the low dropkick for a quick one count. Ryback comes back with a gorilla press in a very impressive display of strength. Kane no sells a kick to the chest but can’t chokeslam him down. The side slam gets two for Kane and a clothesline puts Ryback on the floor.

They head outside with Kane being pulled into the barricade with Ryback ramming the masked head into said barricade over and over. It’s table time but Kane comes back with uppercuts to slow Ryback down. Back inside and the top rope clothesline misses but Ryback takes too long walking around and Kane hits the chokeslam for two. Now Kane gets the table but Ryback rakes him in the eye and powerbombs Kane through the table for the DQ at 5:45.

Rating: D+. This was a decent power brawl and much like Jericho, Kane doesn’t lose anything by losing the match here. Having Ryback powerbomb anyone he can find through a table is a decent enough idea to set up the 3 Stages against Cena. If nothing else they can use the people he’s attacked as the lumberjacks to get revenge on him.

Here’s Sandow to talk about the mental challenges he’s been giving Sheamus lately. Sandow insults the people of Long Island, saying that they’re a bunch of checker minded people living in a chess world. The only thing that can match Sandow’s intellect is a supercomputer, so meet Deep Blue, a computer which won a major chess match several years back. The computer tries to talk but is quickly silenced by Sandow. Damien is going to recreate the chess match against Kasparov (one of the best chess champions ever) right here for us tonight, as long as there is SILENCE!

The computer compliments Sandow for his opening move but Sheamus interrupts the game. Sheamus says he’s going to interrupt the chess match (Sandow: “That is obvious. Baby steps Sheamus, baby steps!”) and thinks he can beat Deep Blue in one move. Sheamus can’t figure out what move to make so he Brogue Kicks the computer. Damien gets in a cheap shot and actually lays Sheamus out before sending him into the computer’s table. He rams Sheamus’ head into the table over and over and stands tall. I still don’t get why they’re wasting Sheamus in this feud.

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder

Miz is on commentary. The triple threat title match is announced for Payback with Wade Barrett defending against Miz and Fandango. The place goes NUTS for Ryder who is growing his hair out for the first time in years. Fandango pounds Ryder down to start and hits a hard European uppercut. Miz says Skittles Boy needs to quit looking at him before he makes Fandango taste the rainbow of a Skull Crushing Finale. Ryder comes back with a middle rope dropkick and the Broski Boot for two. The Rough Ryder is countered into a powerbomb and the guillotine legdrop gives Fandango the pin at 2:17.

Miz and Fandango stare each other down.

Video on Ryback destroying Bryan and Cena from Raw.

Kaitlyn and Natalya are in the back. The secret admirer are going to show up on Raw but Natalya isn’t as happy as Kaitlyn thinks she should be. The meeting should be private instead of on national television because the guy could be a creep. Kaitlyn thinks if he was a creep, he would be texting Natalya instead of her.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton

Non-title again here. Daniel’s arm is taped up after the attack on Raw. Bryan starts with Rollins and fires off those hard kicks to the chest. Off to the surfboard with the double stomps to the back of Rollins’ legs to keep Seth down. Bryan cranks on the arm and drives some knees into Rollins’ ribs for extra damage. Rollins fights up and brings in Reigns to pound on Bryan in the corner. Reigns whips Rollins into Bryan for a splash and clotheslines Daniel down for two.

Roman hooks a headlock as Seth talks trash from the apron. Bryan fights up but is almost immediately stomped down in the corner to stop his momentum. Reigns misses a charge into the corner and it’s hot tag to Orton for some house cleaning. The Elevated DDT hits Rollins and Shield bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rollins taking Randy down before bringing Reigns back in for a chinlock.

Orton quickly fights up with a belly to back suplex but Rollins breaks up the tag to Bryan. Reigns is quickly back in but misses a charge into the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a double dropkick off the top before kicking both guys in the chest for two. Reigns is sent to the floor and Bryan backflips over Rollins to hit a German suplex.

Shield heads to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes them both down. Back in and the flying headbutt gets two on Seth. The RKO takes Reigns down but Bryan accidentally dropkicks Orton in the corner. There’s the NO Lock on Rollins but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 9:00 shown of 12:30.

Rating: B-. Solid tag match here which has become the norm for the Shield. Usually people would get tired of the same bit where the team gets close to getting pinned but only gets DQ’ed etc, but the Shield matches are so good that no one seems to mind. This was another solid match as you can pretty much take any two top level guys and throw them against Shield for the same result.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on Bryan, likely setting up a Payback match.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a good job of setting up Payback this week and thankfully Ziggler will be back on Monday to further the feud with Del Rio. It really is amazing how much more entertaining Smackdown can be than Raw without all the hammer fisted drama and the stupid WWE App nonsense you have to sit through. Good show this week.

Results

Curtis Axel b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Kane b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback powerbombed Kane through a table

Fandango b. Zack Ryder – Guillotine Legdrop

Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton b. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: May 31, 2013
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show of the Canadian tour and the main story tonight is of course Shield vs. whomever they can find to face tonight. Other than that we’ve got Ryback trying to get people to care about his feud with Cena and the three guys fighting for the Intercontinental Title. Right now is a pretty lame time in the WWE as they’re in a very slow mode so tonight’s show probably won’t change much about that. Let’s get to it.

We open with a list of names that Shield has taken down in the last week. Tonight Shield is in singles matches against various people.

Seth Rollins vs. Kane

Rollins pounds away on Kane to start but all the speed only gets him taken down by a shoulder. Seth jumps over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the head for two. A delayed vertical suplex gets two more for the big man and it’s off to the chinlock. The fans are really into Kane here for some reason. Rollins finally gets in a shot and goes after Kane’s knee with some solid kicks and elbow drops. Kane comes back with some right hands, only to have his knee kicked out again.

Rollins cannonballs down onto the knee but has a leg lock blocked before it can go on. Seth goes to the middle rope and kicks away a chokeslam attempt before hitting a tornado DDT for two. Back from a break with Kane slugging Rollins down and hitting the top rope clothesline. Reigns gets on the apron, only to be shoved to the floor. The distraction lets Rollins hit a dropkick, but Reigns’ distraction lets Bryan shove Rollins off the top and a chokeslam ends this at 9:22.

Rating: C-. For a nine minute match, this was pretty overdone. Rollins losing a singles match is fine because Shield is always about the team mentality. I’m not sure if they need to keep going with HELL NO vs. Shield at this point, but it’s not like there are any other teams worth fighting right now.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

This starts immediately after the previous match ends. Bryan sends Reigns into the corner and kicks away at the arm to take over early before tying his legs into Roman’s and dropping forearms to the face. The fans also love Bryan which isn’t all that surprising. He fires off more kicks in the corner before hooking a dragon screw leg whip to put Roman down again. Roman hits a hard clothesline to take over as we take a break.

Back with Bryan trying to speed things up but getting caught by another clothesline for two. Bryan gets all fired up and hits a hard set of kicks to the chest followed by a running dropkick in the corner for two of his own. Reigns drills him in the stomach to slow Bryan down but Bryan hooks the NO Lock out of nowhere. Reigns crawls over to the ropes but only gets there with Seth pushing the rope towards him. Kane goes after Rollins but hits Reigns for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was a better match than the opener, but that’s likely because the smaller guy as the face is an easier formula to work with. Bryan’s kicks get more awesome every week and it’s very wise of him to use those as his main strike. I mean, can you imagine him throwing a convincing punch given his size? Kicks are far better for a guy like him.

Post match Bryan yells at Kane for costing him the match. Bryan is completely right here but Kane walks off anyway. Bryan follows, shouting that he doesn’t need Kane’s help.

Here’s Damien Sandow with something to say. He says that last week he proved that his mental strength is superior to Sheamus’ physical strength. Apparently Canada has limited mental strength because they gave away Wayne Gretsky. When it comes to intelligence, Sandow is the real Great One. To prove his intellect, he has a simple challenge in the form of a shell game. There are three cups and a ball on a table. The idea is to put the ball under a cup and shuffle them around. It should be easy to win, but here’s Sheamus to interrupt.

Sheamus congratulates him for tricking him with the knot last week, but now Sandow is out here playing with his little balls. Sandow lets Sheamus play the game and shuffles the cups pretty slowly. Sheamus guesses wrong, thereby renewing his idiot license for another year. Sandow allows him to try again with just two cups but Sheamus gets it wrong again after a lot of thinking. Sheamus wants to see the ball under the third cup but Damien seems reluctant. Fans: “SHOW YOUR BALLS!” There’s no ball but Sandow says it was magic, earning himself a Brogue Kick. Are we really building towards a big match between these two?

Curtis Axel vs. Sin Cara

Man they drop the level of competition for Axel on Smackdown. On the way to the ring, Heyman says that he always tells the truth about his clients. In his first two weeks, no one has accomplished what Axel has done. Axel says that Cena and HHH have 26 world titles between them, but in two matches he’s made HHH refuse to continue and made Cena get himself counted out. When you’re a Paul Heyman guy, life is perfect. Cole: “That was cute.”

Axel hits a quick backbreaker and dropkick to take over before ripping at the mask a bit. After a quick chinlock Sin Cara comes back with some kicks of his own, followed by a springboard crossbody. A Tajiri elbow is countered by a forearm to the back of the head though and a PerfectPlex ends Cara at 2:00.

Big E. Langston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Langston pounds him into the corner to start and fires off some shoulders, but Del Rio comes back with a kick to the ribs. Big E. drapes him across the top rope and Del Rio is right back down. Del Rio comes back with more kicks and a running clothesline, only to walk into a belly to belly for two. The Backstabber staggers Langston and a German suplex puts him down again.

A hard kick to the face gets two more for Alberto and there’s the armbreaker but Langston picks Alberto up to escape. Langston runs him over for two but gets caught in the armbreaker over the ropes. Del Rio falls to the floor and gets posted after an AJ distraction, allowing the Big Ending to finish Albert back inside at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This match is firmly in the category of matches we don’t need to see for a good while. They’ve fought something like four times in two weeks now, which is way more than any pair should be going at it. The match was nothing special either as they didn’t have time to go anywhere with it.

We look at Cena’s challenge for a 3 Stages of Hell match from Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ryback

Kofi charges right at him and pounds away in the corner before getting two off a springboard dropkick. There’s the Boom Drop but Ryback catches trouble in Paradise in mid air. Kofi rolls through that as well and hits a middle rope cross body for two. Ryback blocks a kick in the corner though and slams Kofi down to take over. The Meat Hook sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:48. This was better than I expected, although Kofi injured his elbow somewhere in there and will be out 4-8 weeks.

Post match Ryback powerbombs Kofi through three tables.

Jericho talks about all the diseases Punk has from sleeping with dogs like Heyman.

Chris Jericho vs. Cody Rhodes

Jericho starts fast and takes Cody to the floor, only to walk into a front suplex onto the top rope for two. A boot to the face gets two more for Cody and it’s off to an armbar. Jericho comes back with a top rope ax handle but the Walls are broken up. An Alabama Slam gets two for Cody but he jumps into a right hand to the ribs. Cross Rhodes are countered into a Walls attempt which is countered into a small package for two. Now the Walls get the submission at 4:46.

Rating: C-. My goodness Cody Rhodes matches are hard to sit through anymore. It’s not that they’re bad or anything because Cody is really good at making his matches work, but there’s no reason to believe he’s got a chance. Cody hasn’t won a match of note in months now and it’s hard to care about watching him lose to anyone at all.

Wyatt Family video. These guys are awesome.

Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean takes it to the corner to start and goes Anderson by raking Orton’s eyes across the top rope. Orton comes back with right hands of his own in the corner, only to have Ambrose fire off some knees to the chest to take over again. They head to the floor with Orton dropping him on the barricade, only to be sent into it himself as we take a break. Back with Ambrose in control with knees to the back followed by stomps in the corner.

Randy comes back with a quick suplex to get himself a breather and they trade headbutts and right hands. Orton gets the advantage but has the Elevated DDT countered by Ambrose. Dean goes up but jumps into a dropkick followed by the Elevated DDT. Ambrose bails to avoid the RKO and here’s the Shield for the DQ at 11:55.

Rating: C-. Not much here but they were getting a nice flow going right at the end. The good thing about Shield is they’ve attacked so many people that you can swap in any combination and have a good match with them. Not a bad match at all and thankfully you never can tell if Shield is going to run in or not, meaning the endings aren’t obvious.

Post match HELL NO comes in for the save, with Bryan down almost all of the work himself, and Shield is sent running. A HUGE YES chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Is there any reason to watch Smackdown anymore? It’s nothing but a supplement to Raw as nothing significant happens here and all the good long matches happen on Mondays as well. The show isn’t even really bad, but rather really uninteresting. I need a little more fresh content than Sheamus playing a shell game with Damien Sandow. Shield continues to be a highlight and there’s some decent stuff in the midcard, but anything with Sandow or Rhodes in it is incredibly dull, although that can’t be blamed on them. Very uninspiring show this week.

Results

Kane b. Seth Rollins – Chokeslam

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kane interfered

Curtis Axel b. Sin Cara – PerfectPlex

Big E. Langston b. Alberto Del Rio – Big Ending

Ryback b. Kofi Kingston – Shell Shock

Randy Orton b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:

Night of Champions 2010
Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Since this PPV is all about champions, take a guess as to what it’s about. That’s right: pancakes. I prefer them with just syrup but some people actually like butter. I’m not a butter fan so I never use it. Ok the show is starting now so I’m out of jokes. I could go for some Aunt Jemima though.

One thing I wonder: what are Paper Jams? Paper related music? A jelly substitute made from trees? Wow syrup and jam already. Hopefully no one lays an egg or we’ll have a decent breakfast.  Let’s get to it.

I apologize for that joke. Even I thought it sucked beyond belief.

IntercontinentalTitle: KofiKingstonvs. DolphZiggler

If Dolph is disqualified or counted out he loses the title. Vickie does her intro but we get to look at Kaitlyn in a good looking dress so I can live with that. The music helps too. We get the two hands behind the head here which I like as a taunt for some reason. They have him in a black bowtie now too which makes my head hurt. Red tights for Kofi tonight which is a good look for him.

Feeling out period to start which is weird since they’ve had so many matches. The ring skirt has all the titles around it which is a cool look. Kaitlyn helps to get Dolph up and is yelled at of course. NICE neckbreaker by Dolph and a chinlock follows it up. The champion has half black and half white boots on which is different for him. He uses a big boot. Well of course he does.

Dolph hits a Fameasser which gets a joke from Striker. King audibly groans at it too which is the sign of a bad one. When JERRY LAWLER thinks your joke sucks, you’ve got a big problem. Lawler: Vickie used to be boy crazy. Boys would have nothing to do with her and it drove her crazy. Vickie is in leather pants which gets a lot of commentary for some reason.

And now Cole and Striker argue about who designed Vickie’s shirt. This is either really boring in ring stuff or really bad commentary. Given who is doing what, I think I’ll bet on the latter. Kofi hits a counter to get us to even again and here’s the comeback. Nice standing dropkick and he hits a Thesz Press. Wow I haven’t seen one of those in YEARS. Boom Drop hits and sets for Trouble in Paradise.

He does the stupid clapping thing where everyone cheers for him. Sleeper is blocked as Dolph uses it for a counter. SOS gets two as Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. We’re cranking it up again here as I think I know the finish that’s coming. I’ll let you know if I was right or not. We hit the floor and Kofi is dominating. He throws Ziggler back into the ring to break the count which Striker says is smart. Cole of all people points out the reality: it was stupid as he would win the title on a countout.

Sleeper out of NOWHERE (which remember must suck since it’s a transitional move or whatever. I love the IWC’s idiocy at times) and Kofi is in trouble. He gets up quickly which is at least believable. I can’t stand when someone is in a hold for like a minute and then gets out of it. Kofi gets one of his own on but Dolph reverses. Vickie goes to smack Kofi but Dolph screams at her not to. Trouble in Paradise misses and Zig Zag ends this mostly clean which is surprising. I was wrong with what popped into my head but not entirely, but I’ll spare you the details.

Rating: B. This would be standard fare on Smackdown which means it’s very solid. This was another good match between them and hopefully this ends their feud which has run its course I think. Solid here and Ziggler looked strong, dominating for the most part and countering on a mistake to win it. Solid stuff but PLEASE get rid of Vickie as he doesn’t need her anymore.

Miz does an ad for Paper Jams, which is a music thing or something.

Edge says he’ll win. Nothing at all special about this.

CMPunkvs. BigShow

Ok, Punk HAS to win this or his year is more or less a lost one. He’s called the Second City Saint here in his hometown which is a rare thing in this company. He gets the hometown reaction which Lawler is surprised by. That’s ironic as Lawler has made more of a career out of one town than anyone in history. Punk says he loves Chicago but he hates the inhabitants of it. Is he a self-hater I suppose?

He manages to get heel heat here in a smark stronghold. That’s saying a lot. Punk wants to burn the city down and rebuild it into a straightedge utopia. That’s a great line actually. Punk tops that by saying if he’s facing the Giant then he is David and his slingshot is the almighty straightedge. I already live such a lifestyle but I want to join him anyway. Punk with the headband is still weird looking.

Cole calls Show a knucklehead, and wouldn’t you know that’s the title of his upcoming film. Cole says a headbutt from Show is like taking a cinderblock and breaking it over the opponent’s head. WHY DOES HE KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE? Big chop sends Punk to the floor. PUNK USED A FREAKING BIG BOOT. He follows it up with a slingshot senton bomb over the top to the floor in a nice spot.

Punk has him down but one punch slows him down. Middle rope elbow gives Punk the advantage back. They’re pacing this differently which is working well. Punk kicks him in the head which is a nice touch. Striker asks Lawler who the biggest man he’s ever been in the ring with. Of course it’s Andre, and Cole says that no one beat Andre. I REALLY hope he said that as a generalization and not literally because who are they trying to kid otherwise?

Show more or less tackles Punk out of the air and punches him for the pin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Show hit two moves: the tackle and the punch. That’s it. That was Show’s offense. Punk DOMINATED other than that but Show hits two move to end it. I hate this company some times. How in the world can you validate giving Show that win that way after Punk killed on the mic? It makes Punk’s offense look pathetic but hey who cares? Show is BIG so of course he gets to win. Freaking joke man.

Rating: F. This was idiotic. Yes Punk is my favorite wrestler, but sweet goodness man: someone please explain to me why in the holy mother of goodness THE BIG SHOW deserves to go over him like this or in any way that doesn’t involve Gallows jumping Punk. Punk has been GOLD on the mic lately and yet his only big win recently is over Christian when Alberto interfered. This is so freaking stupid it’s unreal.

Jericho says he’ll win everything. You know the line he throws in there.

We recap Bryan vs. Miz which should be good. I’ve heard great praise for their house show matches and after Monday I’m legitimately unsure who wins here.

USTitle: TheMizvs. DanielBryan

Miz in blue here which works for him in a weird way. Riley is here with Miz of course. We’re told that Shawn trained by HBK which I don’t remember hearing before. Very well may have been though. Somehow we talk about Lou Thesz and Cole says he Googled all of his info. Can we get some talk about breakfast again? It’s far more interesting than this bickering.

Miz with a nice bow and arrow hold as the announcers keep up their whining. We get an explanation for the name LaBelle Lock, which is named after an old wrestler from the 30s. Well that’s better than nothing. Miz works the arm as Striker says he thinks Bryan is attractive. We get a shoulderbreaker and Striker gives a shout out to Double A (Arn Anderson) and says he should be in the Hall of Fame. Say it with me: AMEN!

The champ throws out a big boot as we’ve literally seen it three times tonight. Bryan with a suicide dive through the ropes to take out Miz. He SELLS THE ARM and hits a dropkick off the top for two. They slug it out and the selling continues. Let the boo/yay chanting begin! Running dropkick in the corner which always amazes me when someone hits it for some reason.

Miz kicks out again and Bryan gets a bit frustrated. We head up top and Bryan gets crotched. SWEET clothesline takes down Bryan who lands on his arm for two. All Miz here as he CRANKS on the arm and makes Bryan scream. Ropes are grabbed but Miz has til five. If he yelled that the IWC would have rioted. The Finale (not typing that name out) is countered into a rollup for two.

Riley gets on the apron but Miz punches him by mistake. Rollup by Bryan gets two and I would have bet on that being the ending. Bryan to the floor and Riley rams the post by mistake. Bryan STILL holds the arm. Miz just goes off on Bryan with punches but gets pulled into the LaBelle Lock AND IT’S OVER! Miz cries at ringside in a funny moment.

Rating: B+. This WORKED. I was way into the ending here as Bryan came off as awesome, just like Miz. I can’t wait for the IWC to complain about how Bryan carried Miz here and I can’t wait for it. Miz more than held up his half out there and looked great (just to be clear, Bryan was great here too). This was a very solid match but was held back by Riley interfering. Miz losing this way is perfect and it definitely put Bryan over. Very solid match and I was most impressed.

Hell in a Cell is in TWO WEEKS. Wow that’s dumb.

Cena is still all smiley and happy here and does a math themed promo which makes sense.

Women’sTitles: MichelleMcCoolvs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Barrett talks about the Winds of Change. I wonder if he’ll Rock You Like a Hurricane.

We hit probably the longest recap ever as we set up Kane vs. Taker. You know this one by now I’m sure and if not go read my SD reviews for the last 6 weeks or so. We get the full history here over the last 12 years, including the straight up lie that Taker took Kane’s mask away.

SmackdownWorldTitle: Kanevs. Undertaker

Surprisingly Taker comes out first. They slug it out in the aisle to start. I want to see if they can break the streak of awful that their matches have been in the past. Taker shoves him off the stage into a pillar that the set is made of. The no holds barred aspect helps here as these two are designed for a big fight rather than just a regular match. So far they’re following that idea as it’s just a major fight so far.

Taker gets sent into the steps and Kane kicks him in the head. Why must you tease me with more big boots? Kane grabs the belt and hits Taker in the ribs with it which is a shot you don’t see that often. Clothesline off the top doesn’t get a cover as Kane does a really bad looking legdrop. Cole says Kane has dissected Taker. I guess we’re ignoring the first 4 minutes of this match.

Seated running one footed dropkick (just get to the freaking big boot you freaking teases!) hits as Kane is dominating. He takes the cover off the table and just pelts Taker with it. This has been a bit better than I expected and MUCH better than their other stuff. Taker sends him into the steps and has signs of life. Or is it death with him? His character can be a bit confusing at times.

Apron legdrop by Taker and for once the word vintage is ok. We get a mini Taker Dive as he sails over the railing to take down Kane. We head into the crowd as they’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe 10 this has gone. Kane hits kind of a big boot. He hits a jumping punch as we’re back at ringside now. He punches Taker down and Taker is in trouble.

It turns into a boxing match almost with Kane throwing nothing but punches. Taker is getting DOMINATED here and it’s kind of nice to see. As long as he doesn’t make the comeback and win that is. Taker gets one punch in to a BIG old pop. He starts winning but Kane gets a knee. Jumping clothesline puts Kane down though. And now Taker throws punches.

Snake eyes and a big boot get two. We’re 5-5 in big boots tonight. Chokeslam to Kane but Taker can’t cover him. Striker calls him the weigher of souls. Could he be more over the top when talking about the zombie? Kane counters the Tombstone into one of his own and Kane wins clean!

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a great match by any means but this did what it was supposed to do. I don’t think these two can have a great match, but this is what they were supposed to do: Kane went out there and beat Taker up and then pinned him clean. That’s how this was needing to go and Kane gets the clean victory. Pretty sure we’re heading to Hell in a Cell with these two which is the next logical step. Kane needed this though and he got it.

Taker can barely get back to the locker room and almost has to crawl the last bit. I’d love Paul Bearer to come out here.

Randy says he has nothing to say. This takes nearly two minutes.

Legendary is coming to DVD already. That’s AWESOME.

We’re having a tag team turmoil match??? Hokey smoke. Someone made a thread about this and I didn’t think it would happen but here we go. The idea is there are five teams with two random ones starting. They have a match and then the winners advance to face the next team. Last team standing wins. It’s kind of like the weird cousin of the gauntlet match.

TagTeamTurmoil

We open with Hart Dynasty vs. Usos. Yeah because we haven’t seen this enough. Striker mentions playing a game called Six Degrees of the Hart Dungeon, which sounds AWESOME to a wrestling geek like me. DAVID HITS A BIG BOOT IN THE CORNER! Kidd hits a big Asai moonsault to the floor. Kidd gets the Sharpshooter but the other Uso hits a BIG BOOT to end him, guaranteeing new champions.

Kozlov/Santino vs. Usos now. This lasts about a minute as Santino sets for the cobra but Tamina distracts him, allowing a Samoan Drop (shocking right?) to end him.

Bourne/Henry in next. This shows how sad the tag division is. It truly does. Henry comes in and cleans house with the World’s Strongest Slam. Air Bourne ends it.

Final team is Drew/Cody. Ok we HAVE to have the heels win it here for the sake of sanity. Also so we can hear either awesome theme song. Drew is in those sexy white tights too so I’m happy. The heels dominate for awhile as Bourne plays Ricky Morton for awhile. They say Cody was a tag team champion but never say with who. I don’t get why though.

Big gutbuster by Drew as Bourne is in trouble, hence the Morton thing I guess. Drew CRANKS on a chinlock which looks awesome. Bourne gets out of a suplex using the ultimate counter: kicking his feet. Hot tag to Henry and Cody trips coming through the ropes. They go for the Super Shooting Star which takes forever so Cross Roads takes out Bourne (illegal man) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. These are hard to grade but given who was in this the booking more or less was terrible. No Gatecrashers or Dudebusters or Nexus but Bourne and Henry? Really? The one good thing here is that they beat the champions clean the other night. That’s a major plus for them so there’s no argument that they didn’t beat the champions. Not wild AT ALL on having another randon team thrown together but that’s the nature of the beast in modern tag wrestling I guess. Pretty bad though and definitely the worst of the night so far.

Random Alberto Del Rio promo montage.

Build up video for the elimination match and I think you get the idea of it.

Sheamus says his usual stuff.

RawWorldTitle: Sheamusvs. JohnCenavs. Edgevs. WadeBarrettvs. RandyOrtonvs. ChrisJericho

Pin or submission only for eliminations. MONSTER reaction for Edge. The trenchcoat is back too. Face pop for Jericho but not as big as Edge’s. Barrett is in his second PPV main event less than five months after making the main roster. Not bad. Elimination rules here. Orton is out last and gets a nice reaction but still pales in comparison to Edge. Striker asks Lawler for strategy here. Lawler says avoid elimination, which sounds really simplistic but Lawler follows it up by saying you’re going to have a better chance with three or four opponents than with five so if you can hang on your odds improve. Sometimes the simplest answer is best.

Tornado rules here too which is nice. We get a Hulk reference kind of as Cole lists off champions. Cena and Jericho stare each other down which makes me think Jericho is a jobber by comparison. RKO maybe 90 seconds in ends Jericho. WHAT THE HECK? He makes the big sad exit and everyone, myself included, is shocked. Y2J chant picks up of course as I’d love a face run from him.

Everyone surrounds Barrett and the beatdown is on! Orton and Cena have an eventual staredown but Barrett breaks it up. Striker calls Edge, Sheamus and Barrett rulebreakers. CENA THROWS A DROPKICK! The superpowers fight it out but Barrett saves Cena for some reason. Sheamus kicks Barrett in the face. He dominates for awhile and goes around kicking everyone in sight.

High knees to Cena which I can’t think of a Too Many Lies joke for. Cena blocks the High Cross as everyone else has apparently died. Edge comes back in and stops the top rope Fameasser. Double suplex off the top to take Cena down for two. Edge and Sheamus work together which tells me he eliminates the Irishman.

Orton pops up for like two seconds and Sheamus takes him down almost immediately. Spear misses and the Irish Curse takes Edge down. Brogue Kick misses but Edge gets the spear. Orton takes one too but Edge takes a very nice FU to get rid of him and we have four left. Barrett takes down Cena and stomps the tar out of him.

He and Cena fight it out for awhile until Cena makes his comeback. 5 Knuckle Shuffle but Sheamus accidentally hits Barrett. Cole keeps calling the FU the A.A. now. Sheamus is in the STF FOREVER and has one of the best teases of getting there I’ve ever seen. He manages to do it and you can feel the crowd just stop. Nexus comes out and the distraction allows Barrett to hit Wasteland on Cena and ELIMINATE HIM!

Nexus beats down Orton and since there are no disqualifications this is all gravy baby. Nexus tries to run in again but Cena KILLS one of them with a chair. Orton gets the backbreaker on Barrett and an RKO gets us down to Sheamus vs. Orton. Brogue Kick KILLS Orton but it only gets two and a big old pop. High Cross is countered and the RKO gives Orton his seventh title!

Rating: C+. This was ok. It wasn’t the mess I thought it would be and getting rid of two people relatively early, especially Jericho, made this run a lot more smoothly. It’s an ok match but really nothing worth going out of your way to see. They went with the usual multi-man formula here which I’m not a fan of at all. Barrett pinning Cena clean is a good thing but it’s probably going to lead to a Hell in a Cell match which I don’t think anyone wants to see at this point. Fairly good match, but not a great one at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was definitely ok but it’s not a great show. The title changes are usually pretty cool and some of these were, but I can’t really bring myself to care about Orton winning his 7th world title. You get some good stuff like Miz vs. Bryan and Kane vs. Taker, but other than that this show really isn’t anything special. It’s entertaining enough for three hours and if you watch it you won’t be bored, but you certainly won’t be blown away. Not a bad show but not really good either.

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Smackdown
Date: May 10, 2013
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Mathews

With only two Smackdowns left until Extreme Rules, the biggest question is obvious: will more furniture be destroyed here tonight? Oh wait this is Smackdown, meaning Lesnar and HHH will never appear here. Anyway tonight we’re likely to get more build up towards the triple threat, meaning some combination of the people are likely to fight each other so that one can look weaker than another. Let’s get to it.

We open with the voiceover and a video on the triple threat stuff from Raw, with Swagger destroying Ziggler and Del Rio with the ladder. It’s Swagger vs. Langston tonight, as well as Ambrose vs. Bryan.

Jericho is in the ring for the Highlight Reel. His guest tonight is Ryback so we see some clips from Raw with Ryback beating Cena down. Jericho says he sees where Ryback is coming from but Ryback doesn’t really care. It’s Jericho’s show though so he gets to talk about what he wants to. Jericho knows about all the times Shield has beaten Ryback down and all the times he’s lost the WWE Championship. He says he’s been WWE Champion six times so he understands what Ryback is going through. That’s a bit confusing as he only held that title once. He’s held six world titles but only one WWE Title.

Anyway Jericho wants to know what Ryback’s Rules are. Jericho has gone through a period with people gunning for him because he had a chip on his shoulder the size of the big show. Ryback doesn’t care so Jericho talks about how the Jericholics are judging Ryback. The fans understand the difference between beating Rock and Austin in one night and beating a one legged Cena in one night.

Jericho tells Ryback to be careful what he wishes for, because no one will respect him if he wins the title. Ryback says Jericho talks to much and threatens to drop him right now. Jericho says he doesn’t think Ryback will do a thing, so here’s Teddy to make this the main event. Does Booker do anything on Smackdown anymore? Ryback lays out Jericho with a right hand.

Mark Henry is going to try to pull two tractor trailers tonight to break a world record.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title of course. Cody trips him down but gets caught in a flip over armdrag as Kofi speeds things up. Rhodes gets in an elbow to the face and hits a knee to Kofi’s thigh followed by the front suplex for two. Off to an armbar on the champion but Kofi easily escapes and chops Cody down. A rollup gets two on Rhodes but he rolls through Kofi’s spinning crossbody for two. Both finishers miss but as Cody loads up the Disaster Kick he jumps into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: C. This was fine given the time constraints. I’m not wild on Cody losing again but he’s way past the point of being a threat on Smackdown. Kofi is still his same old self, having decent to good matches but never rising above the midcard at all. In other words, this was exactly what you would expect from these two.

We look at Lesnar destroying HHH’s office on Raw. Calling it frightening and a workplace invasion over and over again doesn’t make it suck any less than it already did. I don’t know about you, but I have a problem getting upset that Lesnar destroyed a bunch of furniture and a TV that the company probably paid for. Oh wait he also broke a replica belt and some photos. How ever will HHH replace those things?

Colter talks about how Swagger is going to climb the ladder like an AMERICAN, one step at a time.

Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger

Del Rio is on commentary. Before the match, he slides in a ladder but Swagger kicks Dolph in the face before he can do anything with it. Langston is knocked to the floor but Ziggler dropkicks the ladder into Swagger’s face. Del Rio comes in and hits the low superkick to Dolph’s face and rams the ladder into his head. Swagger has the ladder thrown at him and Del Rio stands tall atop the ladder. Somewhere in there Ziggler got a concussion and as of this writing, his status is still in doubt for the PPV. No match of course.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

They slug it out in the corner to start until Bryan hits a running knee to the ribs to take over. Some hard kicks to the back have Ambrose in trouble but he comes back by sending Bryan face first into the buckle. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and hits a clothesline to set up kicks to Ambrose’s chest. Dean rolls to the floor and there’s the big suicide dive to take both guys out.

We take a break and come back with Ambrose dropping elbows on Bryan before putting on a cross arm choke. Ambrose transitions into a nerve hold and neck crank, giving him the rest hold trifecta. Bryan fights up but gets kneed in the ribs to stop his comeback cold. A running dropkick gets two for Dean and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Ambrose misses a charge in the corner, slamming his shoulder into the post.

Bryan fires off the kicks in the corner before putting Dean in the Tree of Woe for even more kicks. A running dropkick to Ambrose’s ribs gets two but he comes back with a quick backslide for two. Bryan kicks Dean down again and goes up top for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Shield. The delay makes him switch over to a missile dropkick for two instead.

Dean comes back with a forward belly to back suplex (he picked Bryan up for a belly to back and snapped him forward onto the mat instead) for two. Ambrose is starting to snap and fires off knees to Bryan’s face. Bryan grabs the NO Lock out of nowhere but Reigns comes in for the save while the referee is watching Kane and Rollins fight. Dean loads up the bulldog driver but Kofi Kingston runs in for the DQ at 9:21 shown of 12:51.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Ambrose continues to look good in the ring. I like the Kofi run in as it’s pretty clearly setting up Ambrose challenging him for the US Title either at Extreme Rules or soon thereafter. The match here worked well as both guys got to look strong and the ending saves both guys from losing while also setting up future stuff. That’s how I like my run in finishes: efficient.

Shield is cleared out post match.

We recap the Highlight Reel, because we can’t remember something that happened 50 minutes ago.

We see a clip from earlier today with Mark Henry attached to a semi truck and pulling it down the road. Apparently that’s a warmup and next he’ll pull TWO of them, which combine to weigh over 110,000lbs.

Clip from Raw of Sheamus getting taken down by Henry and whipped with a belt. The photos of the welts on his body are rather disturbing. The match at Extreme Rules is a strap match, where you have to touch all four buckles.

We go live to the parking lot where Henry is attached to two semi trucks. Before he starts he promises to destroy Sheamus at the PPV. Henry can’t pull it at first but after Striker asks him some annoying questions, Henry gets all fired up and finally pulls them forward. That’s rather impressive looking, whether it was rigged or not. Henry is spent….and Sheamus doesn’t appear. That’s kind of surprising.

The Raw ReBound recounts all of the Ryback/Cena stuff from Raw.

Randy Orton looks at a clip of Big Show knocking him out on Monday. He says that vouching for Big Show got him knocked out twice, which has only made him more venomous.

Big Show vs. Tensai

Tensai pounds away at Big Show and knocks him into the corner with right hands. Not that it matters as Show hits a single right hand and wins in 50 seconds.

Brodus gets speared down by Big Show but before Show can load up the WMD, Orton runs in with an RKO for the giant.

AJ runs into Kaitlyn as she gets another text from her secret admirer. Kaitlyn suggests that it’s Dolph and they get into a catty argument until Natalya comes up to scare AJ off. Khali pops up in a Mysterio mask which is his undercover attire. He takes off the mask to reveal that it’s actually not Mysterio before leaving. Kaitlyn says the mask isn’t really needed and he just needs to keep his ears open. Natalya tells Khali he doesn’t have to dress like Rhodes, as he now has a mustache on.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

Ryback shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught by a dropkick to put him down. Jericho is thrown to the floor as Ryback shrugs off whatever Chris throws at him. Back in and Ryback pounds Jericho down as the fans chant for the Canadian. Off to a chinlock by Ryback but Jericho fights up and elbows Ryback to the apron for the springboard dropkick. Ryback starts getting fired up but that might be too interesting for a heel so he stops to think instead as we take a break.

Back with Ryback stomping on Jericho in the corner before working over the leg a little bit. Now it’s off to a body vice as Ryback can’t seem to pick a body part. Jericho fights up but gets caught in a big spinebuster for two as JBL gets annoyed with Josh being an idiot on commentary. Josh: “Ryback will be in the ring with John Cena in ten days.” JBL: “WELL DUH!” Off to a neck crank on Jericho as Ryback mocks the fans chanting for him. Back up and Jericho is sent over the top, only to hold on and go up top for an ax handle to the head.

Ryback slams him down again but misses a splash, allowing Jericho to hit a Lionsault to Ryback’s back for two. As usual, the announcers are surprised that the Lionsault only got two. The Codebreaker is countered into another spinebuster and there’s a jackknife powerbomb to keep the Canadian down. Someone needs to use the powerbomb as a finisher again. It’s been far too long. Josh is totally behind Ryback in this match and criticizes Cole for hanging on to Cena, complete with comparing Cole’s love of Cena to JR’s love of Austin. That’s very odd to hear coming from Matthews.

Jericho makes a quick comeback and tries the Walls but Ryback is just too strong. He kicks Jericho away before catching a cross body in a fallaway slam for no cover. The Meathook connects but Chris rolls through Shell Shock into the Walls of Jericho but Ryback easily gets the ropes. Now the Codebreaker hits but Ryback falls out to the floor. Jericho follows him out but gets thrown into the barricade and crotched against the post…..for a DQ at 11:00 shown of 14:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the ending was kind of lame. I guess the idea was to show that Ryback will be able to do whatever he wants to do at the PPV, but it really fell flat here. Instead the ending could have been beating Jericho down and counting to ten, but again that might make Ryback look too intense and he might be effective as a heel. Also what was with Josh being a Ryback fanboy here?

Post match Ryback knocks Jericho over the announce table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it felt like nothing happened at all. There were four matches and two of them didn’t even make it to three and a half minutes. The Henry thing, which impressive, didn’t do much for anyone, Ryback continues to flounder as a heel because everything that got him over as a face has been taken away because it might make him too interesting. The world title stuff is the same schtick we’ve seen them do for months now. The show definitely isn’t bad but it continues to have Smackdown’s main problem: there’s no need for it to exist.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise

Dean Ambrose b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered

Big Show b. Tensai – WMD

Chris Jericho b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Jericho into the post

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

I’m cheating with this one as this show was taped on the 8th. I couldn’t find anything else from that date though.

Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2012
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’ve got two shows before Over the Limit and after Raw we have a fatal fourway main event instead of just Sheamus vs. Del Rio which should be a big upgrade over the singles match. Other than that we have very little set up for the PPV on the blue side. The show is going to be a filler show so it doesn’t really need to be that set up. I’m sure we’ll get Show vs. Rhodes again too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the Raw tag match and the post match brawl/announcement in the back.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

No car for Del Rio this time. Orton and Jericho get things going. Randy takes him down with a shoulder block and slaps Sheamus on the shoulder to tag him in. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho down and brings Randy back in with a hearty slap on the arm. Off to Del Rio who gets taken down but the knee drop misses. Alberto goes for the arm and drops some knees on it.

Randy gets in a boot as the announcers say there’s no point in trying to predict the fourway. Tag to Sheamus who hits the Regal Roll for two. Jericho low bridges Sheamus to send him to the floor and gets in a shot to the injured shoulder. Jericho comes in legally and puts on a modified Fujiwara armbar.

To give you an idea of the commentary I have to listen to here, this exchange happens: Josh: “I know you can’t predict a winner in the fatal fourway but will Sheamus retain?” Michael: “I don’t think so because it’s almost mathematically impossible. He only has a 25% chance.” After that butchering of both logic and math, Sheamus hits Jericho with the ax handle and tags in Orton. RKO is countered but a dropkick gets two for Orton. Everything breaks down and the referee calls for the bell after about four seconds for the double DQ at 5:19.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t really a match but rather just a backdrop for the double DQ ending. That’s probably a good thing too as there’s no need to have anyone look better or weaker before the PPV. It was just a basic main event style tag match until then and at least we didn’t have to wait long before it got thrown out.

Post break we’re told that it’s Del Rio vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Jericho later.

AJ vs. Kaitlyn

AJ takes her down immediately and then does it again. She dropkicks the knee and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at 35 seconds.

Post match AJ goes after Kaitlyn again but here’s Daniel Bryan. He says he’s impressed by her ruthlessness and AJ looks like a little lost puppy. Bryan sees her in a new light and is willing to move past all the angst they’ve had. After he becomes WWE Champion at Over the Limit he’s looking forward to moving on. AJ looks at him and Bryan nods, but Bryan says he’s looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn. AJ looks completely psychotic and leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Show corners him and chops the chest. Bryan goes for the knee but it doesn’t do much good. Show chops him again but Bryan manages to take him down with a middle rope dropkick. He hooks the YES Lock….and there’s the bell at 1:28. Ace pops up at the timekeeper’s table and says Bryan wins by submission.

Ace makes Show apologize again and Show is humiliated again. Ace says that on Monday Show better give him a real apology. Way to emasculate the good guys WWE! As Ace is leaving he says that at Extreme Rules, Lesnar destroyed Cena and revolutionized the WWE. In nine nights, he’s going to beat Cena and shake the WWE to its foundation.

Heath Slater is in the ring and says that his opponent looks like a caveman with a pea sized brain. The guy he’s facing tonight hasn’t beaten anyone like the One Man Southern Rock Band. Again, WHAT DOES THAT NAME MEAN???

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Slater actually gets in some offense but before I can make an NXT joke, it’s powerslam, clothesline and MuscleBuster at 1:15 for Ryback’s latest win.

Teddy Long is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alex Riley

Teddy has to run off a long list of names for Cesaro such as the Swiss Sensation, His Opponent’s Plight and Aksana’s Delight. Cesaro hits a big boot in the corner and a gutwrench suplex. Riley gets in some jobber offense but the spinebuster is broken up. The European Uppercut sets up that Gotch whatever move for the pin at 2:23.

Post match Aksana reminds Teddy they were just friends but Cesaro is her lover. They kiss and Teddy wants to cry.

Video on Cena’s work with Make-A-Wish, which he wrote an article for USA Today about. Love him or hate him, that’s awesome stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

The entrances are cut for some reason. Del Rio controls to start but Orton comes back and hits the slingshot into the bottom rope for two. Alberto drapes the arm over the top rope to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Orton gets up and powerslams Alberto but the elevated DDT is countered. He sends Orton to the apron and hits an enziguri for two.

Orton comes back again with the backbreaker but Del Rio kicks him in the arm. Codebreaker to the arm puts Orton down and he loads up the armbreaker, but Orton kicks him off. Elevated DDT from the top rope hits but Ricardo is on the top rope. He jumps right into an RKO which is good for the DQ at 5:22.

Rating: C. I liked this. The story of Orton using his usual stuff to counteract all of the arm work was working for me and even though there was no way Orton would ever tap to the hold, it was interesting watching him counter all that stuff. Then again I’m an Orton fan so that probably has a lot to do with it. Also anyone jumping into an RKO is cool to see.

Del Rio puts Orton’s shoulder into the post and hooks the armbreaker post match.

R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

This is due to the tag title match that was set up for the PPV. Truth quickly takes over and hits a dancing legdrop for one. AW and company are watching in the back. Mason Ryan is with them now. Swagger comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. He hits Truth’s back a few times but Truth comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Swagger tries another wheelbarrow suplex but Truth rolls him up for two. Dolph trips up Truth and gets punched and kicked by the champions. Swagger jumps Truth on the floor but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise. That lets the Little Jimmy get the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Another short match in an annoying series of them tonight. This is your usual formula to set up a tag team title match and I still have yet to find anyone that cares about this match and feud at all. This match was just ok at best but again, with only three and a half minutes to work with, there’s only so much they could do.

We get a piece of the Cena sitdown interview from Monday.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Ryder doesn’t even get an entrance anymore. Titus runs Santino over to start and slams him down. Off to Young who hits a neckbreaker and belly to back suplex. Titus suplexes Young onto Santino and it’s off to a Darren chinlock. Santino escapes and tags in Ryder who speeds things up. He hits his usual stuff and the Broski Boot gets two on Darren. Rough Ryder is broken up by Titus and Santino gets clotheslined down while he loads up the Cobra. Young knocks Ryder off the ropes and the Demolition Decapitator (called the Ghetto Blaster) gets the pin at 2:59.

Titus makes Lillian announce the winners again. They say they’ll be the new champions and make millions.

Damien Sandow says he knows his message is going over everyone’s heads but they have no one to look up to. He’ll be the sword of taste and decency, which concludes the interview. You’re welcome.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Hunico and Camacho jump Brodus before the bell. Camacho is thrown out and Brodus starts smiling. There’s the bell and the beating begins. Suplex and splash end this at 54 seconds.

Post match it’s time to dance.

Video on HHH being attacked by Lesnar and Heyman returning to announce Brock quitting on Monday.

Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes him into the corner to start and uses the power to control. Jericho misses a charge into the corner and Sheamus knocks him off the apron into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the slingshot shoulder block for two. Out to the apron and Sheamus tries to suplex him to the floor, but Jericho drapes the arm over the top rope to take over.

Sheamus’ arm goes into the post and Jericho puts on an armbar back in the ring. The champ fights up but Jericho dropkicks him down. That gets him nowhere as Sheamus makes his comeback. That gets countered also but the Walls are countered. Irish Curse is broken up as is the Regal Roll. The Walls go on but Sheamus is too close to the ropes. He sends Jericho to the floor where Del Rio pops in and sends Jericho into the steps for the DQ at 5:45 shown of 9:15.

Rating: C. Just like last time this was a pretty decent match for the most part as the two of them had chemistry, but I’d like to talk for a minute about psychology. Sheamus has a bad arm, Jericho worked on the arm all match, and then he tried a back hold. I get that it’s his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the move that makes sense instead of the finisher.

Post match Del Rio puts Sheamus in the armbreaker but Orton comes out for the save. Del Rio takes all three finishers and Orton stares at Sheamus to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a great job at playing up the fourway with only Del Rio looking weak, which more or less guarantees that he’ll be walking out with the title. The short matches were annoying, but they got TEN matches on one show which has to be way up there on the lists of two hour shows. Not a terrible show but it was more for building up later shows than this one, which is annoying but understandable.

Results
Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio went to a double DQ
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Running Knee
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – YES Lock
Ryback b. Heath Slater – MuscleBuster
Antonio Cesaro b. Alex Riley – Gotch Style Neutralizer
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Little Jimmy
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Demolition Decapitator to Ryder
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Splash
Chris Jericho b. Sheamus via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at: