Well it’s the end of the year and it’s time for someone else to do their awards results. I’ve used a combination of the PWI Awards, the WON Awards and the WrestleZone Awards while leaving a few out. I’ll be listing the winner and another that came to my mind when I was thinking about the winner. To explain it to you schmucks who have to complain about everything I do, THE WINNER IS LISTED FIRST AND THE OTHER PICK IS LISTED SECOND. Let’s get to it.

1. Wrestler of the Year

Winner: CM Punk. The guy was world champion all year long and there’s nothing else you can say to top that. No questions asked here.

Other: John Cena. Love him or hate him, he’s the biggest thing in wrestling and has been for years. He was in the main event of Wrestlemania and had the match of the year with Brock Lesnar. Unfortunately that’s about all he did this year, but no one tops him aside from Punk. Bryan was great too, but Cena fought Brock Lesnar and the Rock. That alone trumps anything Bryan did in the ring.

2. Tag Team of the Year

Winner: HELL NO. This is another layup here as you had two guys who you would NEVER (you have to shout a lot with this team) picture working well together having some of the best comedic chemistry since probably the Outlaws or Edge and Christian. Absolutely the right choice here and I don’t see any real argument for someone topping these guys.

Other: The Shield. These guys burst onto the scene and took over the company near the end of the year. They had one of the best debut matches EVER, taking a war to Ryback and HELL NO. These guys have a ton of potential and they have a chance to be huge in the next year, but this is for team of the Year, not November and December.

3. Match of the Year

Tie: Undertaker vs. HHH (Wrestlemania 28)/Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Extreme Rules)

I did this one already and I still can’t come up with a reason for either to be higher than the other. If you’ve got a favorite between the two then rock on man, but I can’t pick here.

4. Worst Match of the Year

Winner: John Cena vs. John Laurinitis (Over the Limit). I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the best kind of a match is the kind where you can’t figure out who is going to win. This was the polar opposite of that idea, with EVERYTHING happening exactly as we expected it to, down to the not shocking heel turn by Big Show at the end. Why would I want to see this on PPV for 20+ minutes?

Other: Wes Brisco vs. Garrett Bischoff (Impact). I have no desire to ever see either of these guys again, and now we’re going to see these two as major players in Aces and 8’s. This was probably a plot point to introduce them on camera, thereby making this match an unholy abomination.

5. Feud of the Year

Winner: James Storm vs. Robert Roode. They feuded forever and the two matches were both great. If Storm had won the title during this, it would have been perfect, but for some reason TNA decided that the perfect build up didn’t deserve the perfect pay off. Then again, that probably has something to do with them never being able to crack a 1.4 TV rating. Anyway, great feud here and great matches throughout.

Other: John Cena vs. The Rock. It’s John Cena vs. The Rock. That’s my explanation.

6. Most Improved Wrestler of the Year

Winner: Daniel Bryan. Bryan wasn’t much last year, having won the world title about a week before the new year began. Then he got the world title and became a heel, which allowed for him to show some character. On top of that, he then went to war with the fans with a mere two words. On top of THAT, he then got together with Kane of all people to form one of the funniest tag teams in years. Great stuff here and a great surprise.

Other: Big Show. Who would have pictured Big Show ending the year as World Champion, having won the match in a dark horse candidate for the match of the year? He’s doing well with what he’s got, which is a surprise as it’s basically the same stuff he’s always done.

7. Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year

Winner: Jerry Lawler. The man had a heart attack live on Raw and was back two months later. There was no other option here and there shouldn’t be.

8. Rookie of the Year

Winner: Ryback. This of course depends on what your definition of a rookie is. In the WWE sense of the word, it’s hard to say anyone had a better first year than this guy. He went from squashing jobbers to what would have been three world title matches in a row on PPV. He had me believing something could happen….and then they screwed it up because Rock had to have his title match announced six months in advance but whatever. Anyway, Ryback had an awesome year, but I don’t see much brightness in his near future.

Other: Antonio Cesaro. This is for you traditionalists out there. Cesaro was the only newcomer who didn’t have experience in WWE (remember that Sandow was on Smackdown for a few months back in like 2006/7). He went from debuting to screwing Aksana to US Champion to getting to be the main villain on Tribute to the Troops. For a guy who debuted back in April, that’s quite a year.

9. PPV of the Year

Winner: Wrestlemania. It had three of the ten best matches of the year and almost nothing bad going on at all. We also set up a bunch of stuff throughout the rest of the year, had some great matches, and had a match that was literally built up over a year. I had an absolute blast watching this and it still holds up today. Oh and it made more money than any pay per view ever. Wrestlemania wins.

Other: Extreme Rules. Yeah they were mainly rematches, but DANG they were some good rematches. This show is almost always fun as we redo Wrestlemania but with gimmicks instead. Throw in Brock vs. Cena in a WAR and it’s hard not to like this show a lot. Things went downhill from here, but they were pretty high up before they started going the other way.

10. Worst PPV of the Year

Winner: Survivor Series. Nothing happened, the main event was thrown together after announcing a different one the week before, and none of the matches were particularly great. Oh and it’s one of the worst drawing shows ever.

Other: Final Resolution. This is basically the TNA version of Survivor Series as it was more or less a house show with nothing significant happening. At the end of the year it felt like both companies were just trying to get to January, and that makes for some BAD PPVs.

11. Surprise of the Year

Winner: Brodus Clay is the Funkasaurus. Let’s think back to this for a minute. For weeks and weeks, we had been told that Brodus Clay was coming. We knew what Brodus looked like and we knew that he was a monster. Then we heard Lillian say “From Planet Funk”, and everyone collectively said “HUH?” Clay then danced out in a freaking track suit, complete with hot dancing girls, dancing to Ernest Miller’s old theme music. I’ve seen a lot of things in my time watching wrestling, but I NEVER would have guessed that was coming. That’s what I call a surprise.

Other: 18 Seconds. It’s the world title at Wrestlemania. You expect that to break 30 seconds don’t you?

12. Best Angle of the Year

Winner: Daniel Bryan and Kane go to Anger Management. I’ve talked about this one a lot, but man alive is it funny stuff. When I first heard this was coming, I rolled my eyes and thought it sounded awful. Then Kane launched Josh Matthews through the air looking for Bryan, and things got great. The promo by Kane where he lists off his history is still hilarious and these two never stop being funny together. Also, for probably the only time I can remember in years, WWE timed this PERFECTLY, giving them the tag titles almost immediately instead of waiting three months when the angle would have slowed down.

Other: Joseph Park and the Search For Abyss. This one works for me because of Park’s acting. Honestly, if I didn’t know that it was the same guy, I don’t know how long they could have gone before I figured it out. That’s how good Park is in this role of Joseph. The comedy has been great, the matches have been entertaining, but above all else, Park’s acting has been outstanding. The stuff he does in the ring where he looks like he has no idea what he’s doing is amazing, because there’s so much stuff in wrestling you can’t unlearn. This is one of the bright spots for TNA this year.

13. Worst Angle of the Year

Winner: Cena and AJ Sitting in a Tree. This is #1 for one reason: it came after Clair Lynch. There’s no arguing that this was a straight copy of Clair Lynch’s story in TNA, which means that someone thought that story was actually GOOD ENOUGH TO BE RIPPED OFF. I’ll give TNA points for trying something and having it fail, but in this case WWE ripped off a terrible idea and somehow made it even more boring by having it go on as long as it did.

Other: Clair Lynch/AJ Styles. It was stupid, it went on too long, the woman who it was centered on left because apparently she couldn’t handle people not liking her and wasn’t a fan of being on a wrestling show. I’ll hold myself back from going on a rant about how pathetic I find that and go with this story SUCKED, but at least it came first.

14. Promo of the Year

Winner: Bully Ray (Destined For Greatness – No Surrender). This one works for a few reasons, but the number one of all is that it was done by Bully Ray. I mean….BULLY RAY? Really? The promo is right before the finals of the Bound for Glory Series, where Ray has the chance to go to the main event of the biggest show of the year for the first time in his career. He said that the other participants may be bound for glory, but he was destined for greatness. This promo alone basically turned him face and he’s been on a roll ever since. You know what? I’m reversing these two. Ray deserves it more.

Other: Daniel Bryan/Kane (Anger Management – Raw). This is the kind of promo that we need to see in wrestling more often. This was a promo from outside of the arena, which is where great comedy can come from. It gives you a reminded of how absolutely insane wrestling is when you really stop to think about it. Kane listing off the history of his character is some of the funniest stuff you’ll ever hear, and the reactions from “non-wrestlers” are great.

15. Moment of the Year

Winner: HHH/Undertaker/Shawn Michaels embrace after HIAC (Wrestlemania 28). You don’t often get to say this, but this moment was four years in the making. This was the culmination of four excellent (ok so the WM 27 match wasn’t excellent but it sounds better than three excellent matches and one very good match) matches between three guys who time has passed. The match was the perfect ending and the hug at the end summed up the years amazingly well.

Other: Brock Lesnar Returns (Raw after Wrestlemania). This is ruined by one thing: the fans knew he was coming. The fans started chanting WE WANT LESNAR and then here he is. If I remember right this was spoiled earlier in the day which holds back the surprise. You can’t factor in the stuff that came after it, but just having Lesnar back even for a little while was absolutely shocking and made you realize we were in for a big summer.

So that’s it. If you want my take on anything else, ask in the comments.

Merry Christmas,

KB

Might make my match of the year list.  And yes that’s coming within this coming week.  Check this match out as soon as you get a chance.  It’s well worth it.

NXT
Date: November 28, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, Jim Ross, Tom Phillips

Back to the Florida guys this week as we approach the title match between Rollins and Mahal. We’re also getting towards the point where this show will catch up to WWE and we’ll see Mahal as a leather clad rocker and potentially Rollins as a guy in a police themed gimmick. Other than that we’ve still got Langston vs. Vickie’s guys for the bounty. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bryan, saying that he’s coming back to the place where it all started for him. Since he was here, he became world champion, started a successful line of t-shirts and now HE IS THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Tonight he demands that no one say YES and that no one call him a goatface. He also says that Kane, who is standing next to him, must stay out of his way. Kane says HE is the tag team champions and for Bryan to stay out of his way. You know where this is going. Bryan lets out the biggest NO ever but Kane says yes to counter.

Theme song.

Trent Barreta vs. Leo Kruger

Trent has banged up ribs due to the presumed attack by Kruger last week. He takes Kruger down with some running shots to the head to start, but the ribs keep him from being able to follow up. Leo sends the ribs into the corner and rips off the tape. A knee drop keeps Trent down and Kruger goes after the ribs. Off to an abdominal stretch as the tape is rapidly disappearing from Barreta’s ribs.

Kruger goes up to the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick for two. Trent keeps hitting moves but he has to stop to breathe after every single one. The running elbow in the corner staggers Kruger but a release flapjack stops the momentum cold. The Kruger End (neckbreaker into a cutter) gets the pin on Trent at 4:39.

Rating: C-. The match makes sense from a logic and psychology standpoint which I like, but it wasn’t exactly an interesting match due to all of the slowing down. Trent is a guy who will go out there and give you a good match most of the time, but he wasn’t able to be himself here. Odds are we’ll get another match soon when Trent is healthy.

Xavier Woods vs. Memo Montenegro

Woods is billed as being from Angel Grove, California. Isn’t that where the Power Rangers were from in the first few seasons? Woods likes to dance apparently and also is good in hip hop kido. JR doesn’t care for whatever that is but likes headlocks. The voice Ross uses when saying that was hilarious. Woods continues to control with the headlock as JR continues to sound like he cannot stand Woods’ gimmick. Memo misses a clothesline and a dropkick puts him down. In a stupid/AWESOME ending, Woods shouts that IT’S MORPHING TIME (awesome) and hits a rolling clothesline for the pin at 2:14.

Wait a second. During the match, Dawson said that Woods was trained by Zack Taylor in Hip Hop Kido. A quick Wikipedia search shows that Taylor was the name of the original Black Power Ranger and his fighting style was in fact Hop Hop Kido. I take what I said earlier back. Woods is AWESOME!

Audrey Marie vs. Emma

Emma is from Australia and Audrey is officially a cowgirl. A dropkick puts Emma down quickly and Audrey hooks a “unique submission” according to Tom. JR: “It’s called a bodyscissors Tom.” That gets a few rollups for two on Emma and it’s off to a move I’ve heard called a Tumbleweed for more twos. JR continues to be funny because he’s annoyed and/or bored, saying that he feels sorry for these girls because neither has a last name. Tom calls a cross body a giant play to annoy JR even more. After a backslide gets two for Emma, Audrey finishes her with a Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) at 2:40.

Roman Reigns has issued a press release, saying that he doesn’t want to give an interview right now. He has meetings with his “team” to determine various endorsements because he’s a blue chipper, but he’ll participate in this interview at a later date. Ok that’s pretty awesome.

Here’s Michael Cole to moderate a face to face meeting between Rollins and Mahal. Cole’s music sounds like it’s being sung by a bad Frank Sinatra impersonator and is called Never Thought My Life Could Be This Good. It sounds like it’s describing a scene from Leave It To Beaver, talking about having a mowed lawn and a picket fence. It’s kind of catchy actually.

Anyway he brings out Rollins and Mahal for the face to face confrontation. Mahal says what he did last week wasn’t an attack. Rollins says it was the action of a desperate man, because Mahal knows he can’t beat Rollins one on one. Mahal talks about how it’s his birthright (his destiny if you will) to be a champion. Rollins talks about being a man of the people and sharing a mind and a spirit. Rollins says he’s better than Mahal because he has the heart of a champion. Mahal goes on a rant about prejudice and attacks Rollins, putting him in the camel clutch.

Tag Titles: Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis vs. HELL NO

Curtis is already dancing and is apparently a stripper now. Oh joy. Apparently THIS is Johnny’s cash in for winning NXT Season 4. Wow they actually remembered that. Points for continuity! Bryan and Kane argue before the match, which starts with McGillicutty vs. Bryan. Michael takes him down to start and Bryan pretends to tag Kane, just to tease him a bit. Now be nice to that monster.

Kane tags himself in and clotheslines McGillicutty to the floor, only to have Bryan tag himself back in. The challengers take over with some double teaming and Goatface plays Ricky Morton. Curtis puts on a bow and arrow submission hold before it’s back to McGillicutty for some shots to the ribs. Johnny hooks a chinlock for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Kane and house is cleaned. Bryan tags himself in again and the champions argue. McGillicutty gets two off a rollup as everything breaks down. A chokeslam puts Curtis down as the NO Lock submits McGillicutty at 7:05.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the whole match was just killing time until McGillicutty and Curtis realized they were McGillicutty and Curtis. Why in the world Curtis is getting repackaged and put on the main roster instead of McGillicutty is beyond me, but it might be because Michael is talented and might get over, and we wouldn’t want that.

The champs hug it out to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show. The Power Rangers thing is a great geek out moment, but the rest of this show doesn’t work for me. The main guys other than Rollins weren’t here and they were clearly missed. I can’t complain about seeing Audrey Marie on my screen, but JR being belligerent is sad to hear. He just doesn’t care anymore and that’s very clear. Not a terrible show, but their worst in months.

Results

Leo Kruger b. Trent Barreta – Kruger End

Xavier Woods b. Memo Montenegro – Rolling Clothesline

Audrey Marie b. Emma – Spinning Rock Bottom

HELL NO b. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis – NO Lock to McGillicutty

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is something I’ve said for years but it was very true last night:Sometimes the solution to all of the problems with your stories and your angles and everything else that is going wrong is to just have a good wrestling match.  Last night everything was going bad, the stories weren’t clicking and I was just not caring at all about the show.  Then Bryan vs. Ziggler happened and I had a new spirit for the show.  Granted after that it was quickly crushed again, but it helped a lot for awhile and it can help almost every time.

When all else fails, have a good wrestling match.  It’ll help.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2012
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

It’s the week before HIAC and the main event of Ryback vs. Punk for the title is finally set. There’s still a chance Cena will be thrown into the match but I’d really prefer if that wasn’t the case. Cena would overshadow Ryback which is one of the last things Ryback needs. The more I think about it, the less likely I think Ryback winning the title is, even though that might be the right move. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Rhodes Scholars

We immediately start with this. That’s a nice change of pace. Apparently AJ has been called to an emergency meeting with the WWE Board. Well it has only been a month or so since the Board last weighed in so it must be time for that to happen again. Cara and Rhodes start things off but it’s quickly off to Rey for some double teaming. It’s off to Sandow who gets caught in 619 position but Damien bails to the floor. Cara takes Cody out with a suicide dive as Rey takes out Sandow with the seated senton to the floor.

Cara hits a sweet springboard moonsault for two on Damien but a top rope cross body misses to give the Scholars the advantage. Both Damien and Cody take turns hammering on Cara but an enziguri takes Cody down as we take a break. Back with Cody holding Sin Cara by the arm and slamming him down. A knee drop keeps Cara down and it’s off to Sandow. After the windup elbow it’s back to Cody who is caught in a tornado DDT.

Hot tag brigns in Rey who spins Cody around a few times and drop toeholds him into the corner for a split legged moonsault for two. A double 619 hits the Scholars and the top rope splash hits Cody, but Sandow dives under the referee’s arm. Now that’s an innovative way to do it. Cara pulls Damien to the floor but Cody hits the Cross Rhodes on Rey for the pin and the title shot at 11:18.

Rating: C+. I’ll give them one thing: for a match that was pretty obvious given what happened on Smackdown, that was a solid false finish off the top rope splash. The Scholars were the best option here as you need a heel team for HELL NO to face. WWE has done a good job making the tournament feel like a big deal and the match should be fine. Good opener here.

HELL NO says HELL NO the Scholars won’t win the tag titles. Kane pulls Bryan away by the beard and does the corner fire thing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty

Non-title here and Miz is on commentary. I wonder if we’ll hear about these two being paired on NXT. McGillicutty takes control to start with a headlock as Miz talks about how great he is. It’s Miz vs. Ryback tonight apparently. With nothing happening in the match, Kofi kicks Michael’s head off for the pin at 2:28. There wasn’t much else to say in there, but man is it nice to see them using the huge roster they’ve got for situations like this instead of having guys that are currently being used job away.

Recap of the end of last week’s show.

Some New York Giants are here.

Here’s Cena to the usual New York/New Jersey welcome. He talks about how this Sunday isn’t a normal show because on Sunday we see change. Change is 6’3 and 291lbs and all it hears in his head is FEED ME MORE. Cue Punk who talks about how the Giants suck but the Giants in San Francisco are awesome. He says that he’s the best in the world and the current count is at 337 days.

Punk says he’ll retain the title in the Cell but now he changes his focus to Cena. The champ says that Cena has finally realized that he can’t beat Punk. Cena says that he wasn’t allowed to beat Punk. What does that even mean? Cena is now officially medically cleared and wants to fight Punk right now. Cena takes his shirt off and looks to have lost some muscle mass. Like A LOT of muscle mass. Punk goes to the ring and Heyman says no because he’s got Ryback on Sunday. This really made me want to see the Punk vs. Cena match on Sunday. Wait, Cena isn’t fighting Punk on Sunday? You could have fooled me.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

This was good last week so hopefully it is again here. Cesaro gets the mic before the match and says something in a language other than English. I think he’s saying he’s the US Champion. Gabriel uses the distraction to dive over the top to take the champ (non-title here) down. Cesaro hits a quick hot shot to take over as JR reminds us that Cesaro says no American can beat him. JR: “Well he didn’t say anything about a South American.” We’ll ignore the fact that by the definition of the term, a South American would still be an American and focus on the fact that Gabriel is from South AFRICA, not South America.

Cesaro hooks a cravate before dropping Gabriel onto the buckle to take him down. Gabriel backflips out of the corner and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street for no cover. He loads up the 450 but gets crotched and Cesaro goes up. They slug it out on the top rope with Justin chopping him down. Cesaro charges back with another forearm shot but Justin kicks him in the head. There’s the 450 and it gets the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This started slow but it got a lot better in the end. I guess this sets up a rubber match on Sunday, but I wish it could have been through something else than a clean pin. At least the matches were both competitive and I wouldn’t mind seeing a third of these. On another note, Cole also screws up and says Gabriel missed the 450 last week. The move hit but Cesaro got a rope. I usually don’t notice commentary errors but those were glaring ones from both guys.

Vince is here and has AJ with him.

Vince and AJ are in the ring and apparently the Board has made a decision about AJ’s tenure as GM. AJ says that due to allegations of fraternizing with another superstar, she’s resigning as GM of Raw. She says the allegations are false and she could have been fired a long time ago, but some people just like crazy chicks. AJ talks about being raised near here and living in her car to being the boss of Raw. She thanks Vince….and here’s Heyman.

He says he was unaware of her life story and praises her for rising above everything including being a Jersey girl. Heyman lobbies for the job because someone has to take over immediately. Vince: “No.” Vince brings out someone who is not the GM but rather the managing supervisor of Raw. So they’re the GM. It’s Vickie Freaking Guerrero.

Heyman wants Vickie to give Punk the option of who he gets to face at HIAC. She says no and it’s Champion vs. Champion tonight. But wait, it’s a LUMBERJACK match. Good lord this is making me want to switch over to the debate. Heyman freaks out and Vickie yells at AJ for having an affair. Vickie throws AJ out so AJ goes psycho and attacks her, sending Vickie running away.

While we’re on a commercial, let me make this clear: I get that Vickie gets a lot of boos because of her catchphrase and she draws a good bit of heat. She’s a good choice as heel GM. That being said, I don’t want a GM. We flat out do not need one, or at least we don’t need one on TV five times a week making the same matches we get every week. You could save so much time by just having Cole say “I’m getting word from our GM that the main event tonight is so and so.” It saves time and you’ve got a match made. Freaking tweet it if nothing else. I can’t stand the GM concept and there’s no need for it to exist anymore.

Oh and anyone that says this is different than a GM or wants to correct me that it’s a managing supervisor or whatever it is, kindly shut up. It’s the same thing.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Be A Star!

Eve is on the phone and lists off everyone AJ has been involved with. Kaitlyn comes up and accuses Eve being behind her attack at NOC. Kaitlyn shows her the picture of Eve’s iPad she took on Smackdown which freaks Eve out. Eve slaps the tar out of Kaitlyn’s mouth and they brawl until Layla comes in to break it up, then gets involved as well.

Sheamus is looking forward to the matches tonight and Sunday. Show comes in and hits Sheamus’ Brawling Buddy (a talking doll just like the old Wrestling Buddies. Those things were AWESOME!). This was nothing, as usual.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

They go back and forth to start as I wonder which guy they seemingly want to push is going to lose here tonight. Ziggler tries to speed things up to start but gets caught in a leg trip and a surfboard with a handful of face by Bryan. Well that’s certainly effective. Bryan gets kicked into the corner but he rolls to the mat, and in something I’ve never seen before, puts on a Figure Four from his back. That was awesome.

Ziggler grabs a rope and heads to the apron where he suplexes Bryan to the floor. Daniel is holding his knee…and here’s Kane to look after his little buddy. We take a break and come back with Bryan speeding things up and moonsaulting out of the corner before hitting a corner dropkick for two. The NO Lock is escaped and a DDT gets two for Dolph. Vickie apparently has a surprise for HELL NO. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and some part of him hits something hard with a THUD. There’s a suicide dive by Bryan and we head back inside.

Bryan goes up top but Ziggler runs the corner and brings him down with an X-Factor off the top for two. This is getting awesome in a hurry. Bryan comes back with a HARD NO Kick to the face. Kane tries to get the crowd to chant YES but Bryan hates it, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag out of the corner for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. This was getting awesome after the break as these two were trading bombs and it became about who could hold on longer than the other. That’s a great idea and it worked very well here. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not but at least it’s something that fits their characters. These two could have some awesome matches together and it’s nice to see Dolph get a win.

Bryan and Kane argue but Striker comes out and says Vickie has announced a game show for them tonight, which is apparently similar to the Newlywed Game. They’ll be playing the Scholars in it after the break. Before the game though, let’s recap the AJ/Vickie stuff from earlier.

It’s time for the game which is apparently called the Newly Tagged Game. Both champions introduce themselves with Bryan getting madder and madder with everything he says. Kane says he’s a Scorpio, he enjoys long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies. Striker: “Is that true?” Kane: “HELL NO!” They argue again and here are the Scholars.

Sandow thinks this is stupid and won’t play. Cody agrees (“What he said”) and HELL NO wins by forfeit. Bryan goes nuts in celebration but Kane stands up, turns over his chair, and chases Striker off. Striker says he doesn’t wish the champs luck Sunday….and he backs into Big Show who throws him across the stage. I seem to remember hearing about Striker having some heat on him and there may be some truth to that.

Big Show vs. Kane

Joined in progress after a break with Show in control and things going slowly. A chop in the corner misses and Kane fires off some clotheslines to stagger Show. There’s a spear to put Kane down and Show headbutts him a few times. An elbow drop gets two and it’s off to a bearhug. Kane can’t slam him as this continues to go slowly. A running DDT gets two for Kane as does the top rope clothesline. The Scholars come out and the distraction lets Show KO Kane for the pin at 5:38.

Rating: D. Of all the slow and very boring Kane vs. Big Show matches I’ve seen, this is the most recent. These two have been fighting for thirteen years now and it’s the same matches every time: they’re slow, they’re boring, they’re not entertaining. Also, nice job of having both champions lose to guys they’re not fighting on Sunday. That really makes me care about that match.

The Scholars beat up the champs post match.

Santino is talking to AJ when Cena comes up. He says if AJ needs anything, let him know. AJ is mad about the affair allegation. Cena offers to go find who it was and hear them out. AJ says it was Cena and she resigned to not drag Cena into it. Apparently they had a business dinner. AJ thinks Vickie is behind this somehow. Cena promises to take care of this and hugs her.

Post break Cena goes to see Vince and asks about Vickie and the whole AJ deal. Vince says not now but Cena wants an answer. Vince says there was incriminating evidence. AJ was on probation so it was just a matter of time anyway. Vince says Vickie is an interim thing and “She’s a managing supervisor. I don’t even know what that means.” At least they’re admitting it now.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Picture a squash with an upper midcarder against a jobber to the stars. It ends with the armbreaker in 2:45. The only different move than you would expect here is a superkick from Alberto. Fill in the details yourself.

Post match the hold goes on again and Alberto shouting TAP RANDY TAP!

Cena comes in to see Vickie, she says respect me, Cena says it’s nothing, Vickie says Cena asked her out and they went to dinner so it’s Cena’s fault AJ is fired. Holy sweet merciful Christmas WHO DO THEY THINK CARES ABOUT THIS???

Ziggler says AJ deserved to be fired. Cena is to be blamed for all this.

Video on Ryback.

Punk is watching the video and Heyman says don’t let it get to you. It gets to Punk.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

This is the LARGEST lumberjack match in history. Picture any lumberjack match you’ve ever seen. This is even more worthless than any of those you’ve see before. Both guys are sent to the floor early and only Punk is thrown back in by the lumberjacks. Punk gets taken down as the crowd is silent. Given the show they’ve sat through, I can’t say I blame them. Punk gets clotheslined to the floor and nothing happens.

A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and there are some forearms to the chest, but Punk guillotines him down. A top rope clothesline gets two for Punk before Sheamus is sent to the floor and stomped. We take a break and come back with Punk working on the arm. Punk goes up top for a pair of ax handles but the third is blocked by a shot to the ribs. Punk comes back and in a great heel move, Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow but when it gets a face pop, he hops down and drops a regular one.

Off to a chinlock again but Sheamus fights up and hits the ax handles to take over. There’s the Regal Roll and Punk goes to the apron for his ten forearms. A suplex gets two for Sheamus but Punk comes back with a kick to the face that didn’t appear to hit at all. Punk charges into White Noise but Punk rolls through. The Cloverleaf is countered as well and there’s the running knee in the corner for two.

Sheamus superplexes him down for two but the Irish Curse is broken up. GTS is countered but Sheamus is sent face first into the middle buckle for two. That’s the exact same finish (other than the buckle not being exposed) from their match at Main Event. Nice touch. The Macho Elbow misses and there’s the Irish Curse for two. The Cloverleaf is broken up again and Sheamus is sent to the floor one more time. Back in Sheamus hits White Noise but Cesaro comes in and takes the Brogue Kick. Show chokeslams Sheamus but somehow isn’t seen, giving Punk the pin at 18:13.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but this show has just killed me dead all night long. I don’t care about this match and I don’t think anyone else does either, especially considering we just saw it three weeks ago on Main Event. But hey, that was a completely different match because there were lumberjacks here right?

Ryback immediately comes out and destroys Punk with power moves. Punk keeps trying to run but the lumberjacks keep stopping him. Ryback throws Punk at the lumberjacks and Punk gets in the fetal position to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Before I start on this, let me say that Bryan vs. Ziggler was a very good match which I enjoyed a lot. Gabriel vs. Cesaro was fine too as was the opener. Those matches are exempt from what I’m going to say. This show sucked away every bit of interest I had last week. Things tonight were all about Cena, AJ and Vickie. That’s it. That’s what this show was about. Oh and HELL NO also. Yeah they were here too.

The problem is Vickie Guerrero and some semi-love angle with Cena and AJ does nothing for me. When Vickie’s name was announced, it was like getting punched in the stomach. Vickie being the boss is pretty much the most counter productive thing they could do right now. I know it’s not likely going to last long, but we’ve done so many corrupt boss angles lately that it just doesn’t matter. Who is this story supposed to appeal to? I honestly can’t figure that out. Who is this supposed to draw in and how does it make me want to buy the PPV? If you can answer those questions, you’re smarter than I am.

Results

Rhodes Scholars b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes to Mysterio

Kofi Kingston b. Michael McGillicutty – Trouble in Paradise

Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro – 450 Splash

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Albeto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker

CM Punk b. Sheamus – Pin after a chokeslam from Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2012
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Back to the blue show after things have taken a fresh turn on Raw. We’re closing in on the Cell where apparently Show vs. Sheamus isn’t in the Cell, likely leaving them open for a rematch next month. I’m enjoying this story way better than I likely should but having a clash of two titans like this is always fun. Hopefully things pick up a bit on here. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a barn that my uncle fell off yesterday.

Here’s the now non-Intercontinental Champion Miz for MizTV. He has a NASTY looking gash above his eye from where Kofi kicked him on Monday. He’s cashing in his rematch clause and he’ll prove why he’s must see. No date is given but presumably it’s at the PPV. His guests tonight are HELL NO. Yeah the match is officially at the PPV. Miz says if they were a real tag team, they would come out together. Bryan offers to separate Miz’s teeth from his mouth. Miz makes fun of the Goat Face and says the lack of continuity is going to cost them the championships.

Kane says that he’s won tag titles with giants, psychopaths with multiple personalities and a dead man so Bryan is no problem. Bryan says that he’s the reason they’ll keep the titles because he’s the world’s toughest vegan. Kane says that’s like being the world’s tallest dwarf, but Bryan has that covered too. Miz: “Can I say something here?” Kane and Bryan: “NO!”

The champions argue again with Bryan mentioning the MITB cash in over Big Show, drawing out the big man for a rebuttal. Show says he has no issue with Kane (even though they’re fighting on Monday) but he has one with Bryan. He doesn’t want to hear about Bryan beating him in 45 seconds again or he’s going to knock Bryan out. He says he’ll knock Bryan out now but Kane gets in Show’s way, saying they don’t have to wait for Monday. This brings out….Dolph Ziggler?

Ziggler talks about how talking about Bryan and MITB is so last year and he should be the focus because he’s cashing in on either Sheamus or Big Show. Ziggler says if Bryan can do it to Big Show, how hard can it be? An argument breaks out and Booker comes out but Miz says that Booker can save his time because he knows what’s coming. Instead Booker makes HELL NO vs. Show/Ziggler and Miz vs. a surprise. When they have this huge tag division all of a sudden, do we need to have these one night only tag teams to fight them? Here’s Miz’s surprise.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is looking a bit more like he did in 2004. I think it’s the not being orange and having a bit more hair. This is joined in progress after a break with Randy clotheslining Miz down and stomping away. Del Rio and Ricardo are watching from a sky box. Miz pounds away in the corner but Orton comes right back and pounds away as well. A belly to back suplex gets two for Orton but Miz comes back and knocks Randy off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton in a chinlock which Miz follows up with a Reality Check for two. Striker is in the sky box to talk to Ricardo and Alberto. For all we know, right now Miz and Orton are doing the Charleston. Del Rio says he’s the new Apex Predator in the WWE and that’s about it. Back in the ring Miz hits the corner clothesline but Orton crotches him on the top. Orton superplexes Miz down for two and a clothesline puts Miz on the floor.

Back in and Orton glares at Del Rio before dropkicking Miz down for two. Miz comes back with the short DDT for two of his own. Orton comes back with a quick elevated DDT before going insane and loading up the RKO. Miz avoids it and tries the Finale but Orton rolls away and hits the RKO for the pin at 7:30 shown of 11:00.

Rating: C. Well at least Miz isn’t a champion anymore. The match wasn’t anything great but these two have never had the best chemistry. Miz seems to be the latest victim of of writers being bored syndrome as he came back, got a quick push, and then the push just stopped for the sake of someone else getting a push. It’s stuff like that which causes no one to be over or credible anymore.

Del Rio says they’re going to do this on his terms at HIAC.

Sheamus runs into Teddy in the back and the champ wants Barrett tonight. Teddy says he’ll talk to Booker about it and he’ll try to make it a lumberjack match. Sheamus: “I feel you playa.” Eve is lurking in the background.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Gabriel and Cody start but it’s off to Tyson very fast with a kick to the back for two. Cody and Sandow head to the floor with Gabriel taking Damien out with a dive. Cody gets in a cheap shot and we head back into the ring for some heel beating. Sandow takes him down and drops the windup elbow for two. Gabriel gets in a kick to the face to take Rhodes down and it’s off to Kidd. He cleans a few rooms of the house with a dropkick to the side of Sandow’s head but as he puts Damien in the Sharpshooter, Cody gets a blind tag and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here as it’s just another Rhodes Scholars squash to set up the tournament final on Raw. This was a squash but it was nothing interesting. Also, we have another case of the back and forth booking as Kidd and Gabriel had good competitive matches with Cesaro but here’s they’re jobbers for a tag team. Either push the guys as good, tough opponents or make them full on jobbers.

Eve is sucking up to Booker in the back when Teddy comes in to pitch the lumberjack match idea to Booker. Eve says she’s been talking about that for weeks and Teddy stole his idea. Since apparently Booker doesn’t watch the show and no one with a brain in wrestling ever WATCHES THE TAPE FROM EARLIER WHICH THEY KNOW EXISTS BECAUSE THERE WAS A CAMERA RIGHT THERE, Teddy has no defense. Instead he looks at an iPad after the other two leave.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show

No entrances for either team. Bryan and Ziggler start things off with Bryan being taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. A dropkick puts Daniel down and it’s off to Big Show. The other monster gets the tag and they slug it out with Show spearing Kane down. Show pounds away in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Kane to bring in Bryan for the NO kicks. The big kick to the head is blocked though and Show gorilla presses Bryan to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler ramming Bryan’s face into Show’s boot for one. Off to Show but Bryan avoids the chop in the corner. He tries to dive for Kane but Show easily throws him down. The chokeslam is countered into the DDT but Ziggler breaks up another tag with a neckbreaker on Bryan. Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows including a jumping version which gets two. Back to Show who punches Bryan in the ribs and puts on a stomach claw.

Off to Ziggler but he misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and there’s the hot tag to Kane. The Fameasser misses Kane but a big boot gets two on Ziggler. Bryan tags himself in of course, and hits a running clothesline on Dolph, followed by a running dropkick in the corner. Bryan dives at Big Show and gets shoved down as everything breaks down. Kane takes Show down and the NO Lock submits Ziggler at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: C. Dolph tapping out was the only way they could go here. I mean, he didn’t get beaten on Monday and by law he absolutely must job once a week so that his cash in will be as shocking as possible, and by shocking I mean really freaking obvious. Also I could go without having these random teams facing HELL NO every week.

The champs argue on the stage when Rhodes Scholars jump them. They’re not even pretending that the tournament is up for grabs anymore.

We recap the end of Barrett vs. Sheamus from Raw.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Ted DiBiase

Before the match we get a vignette of Cesaro at Sun Studio (where Elvis recorded a lot of his stuff) and criticizing country music. These kind of things are way better than seeing the people in the back all the time. Ted starts with a dropkick but gets sent to the floor almost immediately. Antonio drops Ted face first on the apron and we’re entering squash mode. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex and puts on a cravate. DiBiase makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and sitout spinebuster, but he jumps into the uppercut to stop him cold. There’s the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:39.

Raw ReBound is about the end of the show with the contract signing and Ryback killing Punk.

Heath Slater vs. Brodus Clay

The Band continues to look hilariously stupid. Slater jumps Brodus in the corner to start but the big man will have none of that. A suplex puts Slater down but Brodus charges into a boot in the corner. A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Clay but Slater gets killed by the overhead suplex. Clay has to chase off the Band and Slater hits that falling cutter of his for the pin at 1:55. It was nice looking at your girls Brodus. Sorry you had to die this badly.

Barrett isn’t sure Sheamus is a tough guy but he’s certainly stupid. Why fight Barrett tonight when you have to defend against Big Show? Wade hopes that Show remembers the beatdown tonight and wants the favor repaid once Show wins the title.

Layla vs. Natalya

They head to the mat and then the floor almost immediately with Nattie taking over. Eve continues to talk about the attack on Kaitlyn because that’s still a thing for some reason. Natalya hooks a modified abdominal stretch which is quickly escapes and a kick to the face gets Layla the pin at 1:55. It’s really hard to take Layla seriously when her song is about not being able to get enough sex and her video is of her dancing.

Teddy is with Kaitlyn and the iPad apparently belongs to Eve. Apparently there’s information on there that proves Eve is evil and needs to be stopped. Gee, who would have seen that coming? Kaitlyn takes a picture of the iPad screen. She says keep this quiet for now. You know, BECAUSE DOING THIS IN FRONT OF A CAMERA ON NATIONAL TELEVISION IS GOING TO KEEP THIS A SECRET!

Here are the lumberjacks for the main event.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

Non-title of course and Show is a lumberjack. Barrett pounds away in the corner but the champion slugs right back. Barrett comes back with a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two. Sheamus gets sat on the ropes for the big boot, knocking the champion to the outside. Back in that gets two as Big Show is just standing there watching. Sheamus is sent chest first into the buckle as the dominance continues. Matthews says it’s a stalemate. I’d hate to see a beating then.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus making a comeback and hitting a Regal Roll for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes followed by White Noise. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but the 3MB pulls Barret to the floor. The champ dives on all of them to take them out but Barrett hits a running back elbow and a big boot for two back inside.

Wasteland is escaped and the Brogue Kick misses too. Barrett clotheslines Sheamus to the floor and it’s time for the big lumberjack brawl. Back in and Wade charges into the Irish Curse….and here’s HELL NO to get the Rhodes Scholars. Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 7:24 shown of 10:54.

Rating: C+. I usually love the brawls these two have but this was the short and not that great version. The focus was on the lumberjacks and while Sheamus got beaten up, it never felt like he was in any real danger. That made the main event more about waiting for the ending rather than being an interesting match. That’s not good but the match still wasn’t bad.

Post match Ziggler knocks Sheamus down and tries to cash in but Big Show knocks Ziggler out cold with the punch. Show says he’s taking the title at the PPV.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do anything for me. Aside from how uninteresting the Eve stuff is, now it’s just getting stupid as they have the evidence they need to prove she’s lying on tape and they won’t use it, and then they do something in front of a camera and say keep this secret. On top of that, the tournament final on Monday looks like a waste of time given what we saw here. Smackdown is just worthless at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Rhodes Scholars b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Disaster Kick to Kidd

HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show – NO Lock to Ziggler

Antonio Cesaro b. Ted DiBiase – Neutralizer

Heath Slater b. Brodus Clay – Falling Cutter

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2012
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve got three shows left before HIAC and things are starting to shape up. The main thing is that tonight Orton is going to be here, likely confronting Del Rio. Other than that we’ll likely see more from Sheamus vs. Big Show. The calendar says it’s time to lock them in a cage so the story better be ready for it, no matter how big of a jump it may be. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a house guest at the moment.

No Cole tonight? Ok then.

Tonight there’s a KO Punch vs. Brogue Kick Challenge which starts right now. Here’s Booker to explain what’s going on. He talks about how everyone is wondering about which is stronger and we have the power of the punch machine from long ago on NXT. Both guys come out and Show thinks this is stupid. He won’t go first and says if you want to know how strong his punch is, ask everyone he’s knocked out. The fans boo which ticks Show off. Sheamus says he’ll go first if Show won’t.

Sheamus didn’t hit it perfectly but gets a score of 1322 pounds per square inch. Show thinks shenanigans are afoot and won’t do it. He rants some more and Sheamus asks if he needs a hug. Is it that Show is afraid of losing? It can’t be more embarrassing than Show’s last time as world champion. That’s enough to tick Show off and he gets 1809 pounds per square inch to destroy Sheamus’ score.

Sheamus says that’s impressive but the machine is standing still. Tensai jumps Sheamus but Booker sends him to the back.

Sheamus vs. Tensai

This is after a break. Tensai does a full entrance while Sheamus is still in the ring. They start brawling in the aisle with Sheamus pounding away on the bald one. Sheamus blocks a shot into the post and sends Tensai into it instead. They get inside for the bell and Sheamus charges into the corner and starts pounding away. Tensai gets in an elbow to the face but Sheamus takes out the knee for two.

A clothesline puts the champion down and we’re told that Tensai means destruction. Why did it take that long to tell us? It could be because no one cares. Sheamus hits his ax handles and a powerslam for two. Tensai clotheslines him down again but the backsplash misses. White Noise sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 3:36.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash which is about all Tensai is good for anymore. I’d be stunned if he still had a job around Wrestlemania time. Sheamus and Big Show should have an entertaining brawl and they’ve done a good job of not letting either of the finishers hit, which is the main point of the feud. That’s a good idea for the feud and it’s got me interested in seeing the match.

We get a video from two weeks ago after Smackdown with Orton getting beaten down by Del Rio.

Ricardo and Del Rio are in the back and Ricardo is nervous about Orton finding them. Alberto says it’s cool and sends Ricardo to find Orton.

Ricardo is looking for Orton in the back and he hears something hissing. He finds the Cobra with a Santino attached. Santino warns Ricardo of the Viper being somewhere around here and Ricardo storms off.

Heath Slater/Jinder Mahal vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

Slater, Mahal and McIntyre declare themselves The Band and proceed to play air guitar together. This is as dumb as it sounds. Also they come out to “I’m a one man band” for their theme music. JBL freaks out over the idea of Rock Paper Scissors picking if Ryder or Santino start. It’s Ryder vs. Mahal to start with the guy from Long Island taking over. Off to Santino who comes in off the bottom rope to go after Mahal’s arm. The saluting headbutt misses and it’s off to Slater.

Heath and Jinder pound away on Marella in the corner but Santino rolls away and dives for a tag….but he comes up short. That’s a nice twist. The second attempt works though and Ryder hits the knees in the corner and a middle rope dropkick. Broski Boot gets one and everything breaks down. Ryder has to take out McIntyre and the distraction lets Slater hit a falling forward cutter (can we outlaw new variations of that move already? There must be six people between WWE and NXT using some form of a cutter or some form of a neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Well assuming they’re going for a low level comedy act for The Band, they’re hitting it perfectly. Slater is much better suited for the comedy putz role than as the leader of a faction, and the air guitar thing is dumb, but I think that’s the point. They’re fine for stuff like this and for getting destroyed by a guy like Ryback or Brodus too.

We get a clip from Raw of HELL NO surviving somehow against Del Rio and Ziggler. Ziggler has touted a challenge to a match with Kane tonight.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right at him but Kane throws him down into the corner. Dolph keeps charging at Kane in the corner but he gets shoved back every time. Kane sends him over the ropes but Ziggler skins the cat. That goes badly for him as Kane kicks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane getting guillotined on the top but Ziggler jumps into a choke. The chokeslam is countered into a Fameasser for two and Dolph takes over.

A swinging neckbreaker gets one on Kane and Ziggler stomps away for a bit. A series of elbows gets two and Josh talks about Ziggler being champion for five days. Wasn’t it more like an hour? Kane comes back with a clothesline for two and a low dropkick for the same. Kane hits a side slam and goes up for the clothesline, only to get crotched by Dolph. Ziggler gets knocked off the top but grabs the briefcase to knock Kane out of the air, drawing the DQ at 6:03 shown of 9:33.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but Ziggler was wrestling like a face for the first half of the match and it was working. He’s a guy that could be something similar to Shelton Benjamin from back in 2005 who was more athletic and talented than almost anyone else on the roster, but with some charisma unlike the vacuum that Benjamin was.

Bryan comes in for the save and Striker comes in to talk to the arguing champions. It’s a NO Lock and a chokeslam for the annoying interviewer.

Ricardo is still looking for Orton. He walks past a door and hears an electronic version of Orton’s voice. It’s Hornswoggle playing with a Brawling Buddy. Ricardo steals it and beats it up.

We get a clip from the Larry King segment on Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show

Miz is on commentary. Kofi charges into the corner which goes about as well as a small guy charging at Show in the corner can be expected to. Miz runs down his long resume and Show chops Kofi down. JBL talks about hazing Miz when Miz started in hopes of making Miz get better. JBL: “Josh when I haze you it’s because I hope you quit.” Kofi gets in a kick in the corner and actually drops Show. Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise is easily blocked. WMD gets the pin at 2:12.

Miz comes in to talk some trash to Kofi post match. No attack though.

Ricardo is with Del Rio again when Bryan comes in again. Trash is talked and they have a match later.

Layla and Kaitlyn are with Booker and they’ve found a blonde wig in Eve’s bag. Apparently Aksana found the wig. Eve comes in and says she found a blonde wig in Teddy’s bag. Booker, Layla and Kaitlyn leave and Eve and Teddy don’t like each other. This is so stupid.

Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

Cara fires away with kicks to start and there’s the spinning armdrag out of the corner. We head to the corner with Sandow coming out with a Russian legsweeo and wind up elbow. Cara armdrags and ranas Sandow to the apron and enziguris Sandow to the floor. A big dive from the top takes Cody down as he tries to help Damien. Back inside there’s another enziguri to Damien and Cody gets ejected for being attacked. Damien yells at the referee, allowing Cara to hit a West Coast Pop for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: C. Nothing great here but it sets up the tournament final on Raw a little bit better which was the point here. Sandow has a lot of potential but I’m not liking him in the tag team. It’s taking the focus off of him which is something he doesn’t need when he’s still pretty hot at the moment. The match was just ok.

Bryan tells Kane not to come help him no matter what.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

JBL goes on a rant about how stupid it is to try to manage anger in wrestling. Both guys go after the shoulder to start with Del Rio taking over by pounding Bryan down into the corner. Bryan changes his strategy and kicks out the knee for two. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and hits a clothesline as the crowd is getting fired up. There are the YES kicks but Del Rio comes back with a kick of his own in the corner.

Bryan sends Del Rio to the floor but misses the running knee strike. Alberto sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Bryan charging into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Del Rio works on the arm but can’t hook the cross armbreaker. Bryan counters into the NO Lock but Ricardo has the referee. Alberto crawls from the middle of the ring all the way to the rope for the break. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker while they’re still in the ropes and sends the arm of Bryan into the post. The armbreaker goes on in the middle of the ring and Bryan taps completely clean at 6:54 shown of 10:24.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it’s nice to see the armbreaker actually get a win. That’s one of Del Rio’s (numerous) problems: his finisher rarely wins anything so it’s hard to take it seriously. I’m not sure what this does or why Ziggler and Del Rio are feuding with the tag champions in the first place other than to give the champions something to do, but I really don’t see the point in having Bryan lose to a member of a team that won’t even be number one contenders after Monday.

Alberto says that he doesn’t think Orton is here (even though multiple people told Ricardo they had seen him) and we see clips of the attack from a few weeks ago and of Show beating on Orton on Main Event. Del Rio says that Orton is just a garden snake and that Randy is smart to hide. Alberto mocks Orton’s pose and mocks the twist into the RKO position, only to find himself face to face on the mat with Orton. That was pretty cool. Orton destroys Alberto and sends him into the steps. Ricardo breaks up the Elevated DDT off the table as Del Rio runs. Orton RKOs Rodriguez onto the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a somewhat awkward show. There’s enough stuff on it to advance the feuds we’ve got going on, but the main angle didn’t quite work for me. The main idea of this show was that Orton is back. Ok, that’s fine but it would have been a lot better if Orton hadn’t been in a match two days before this (which he lost) on Main Event. That’s the big problem with having so many shows: it makes things you see elsewhere seem a lot less important. We’ve reached the point where a lot of HIAC is set so there wasn’t much new added tonight, and that’s ok. Decent show this week.

Results

Sheamus b. Tensai – Brogue Kick

The Band b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Falling Cutter to Ryder

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used the MITB Briefcase

Big Show b. Kofi Kingston – WMD

Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – West Coast Pop

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2012
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After last week’s lowest rating in fifteen years, Vince is back tonight for a State of the WWE address. Love him or hate him, when he’s on TV the fans pay attention. Granted having a lower level Monday Night Football game isn’t going to hurt anything either. Other than that, we’re likely to have another legend, maybe Vince himself, tell Punk that he needs to fight Cena in the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open things up. He asks if the people missed him and the fans cheer, which surprises both him and me. Cena talks about how he’s been gone awhile (it’s been two weeks) and he’s gotten to experience things for two weeks. He goes through the basics of various storylines and asks AJ out on a date. Maybe to In and Out (California staple) for a Double Double?

Also Vince is here tonight and Arnold Schwarzennegger is the social media ambassador tonight (seriously) and we’ve got a one armed man in the ring tonight. He talks about the fans losing their voice and the WWE Title losing its voice as well. Cena sums up Punk’s reign in a nutshell: if no one wants to watch, it doesn’t matter how many days he holds the belt. He tells Punk to be a man and define his legacy by facing him in the Cell.

As Cena is leaving, here’s Ryback. Apparently it’s just for a match as Cena walks past him.

Ryback vs. Primo/Epico

I’m not going to bother doing commentary on these matches anymore. The cousins get in some offense, Ryback kills them both, double Shell Shock at 2:33.

Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth

It’s a regular hat for Brodus this week. Now this is an interesting match. Before the match, Truth says they can’t fight because Little Jimmy is going through puberty and wants to dance. It turns into a dance party, and by that I mean the other four stand there and watch Little Jimmy dance.

Thankfully Vince pops up on screen and says dance up the ramp because it’s time for the State of the WWE Address.

Here’s Vince to criticize what we just saw. He says there’s room for that here, along with leprechauns, goat faced vegans, masked luchadors and more. We have drama, action, romance and comedy, but above all else, we have action. Here you want to see the best against the best….and here’s Punk, in a bright yellow shirt. But I guess since it’s Punk it’s much more ok than the ones Cena wears right?

Vince immediately says the shirt is ugly and yells at Punk for interrupting. Punk wanted his name mentioned and thinks it was a shot at him for not being mentioned and not getting inside the Cell with Cena. Punk blames the fans for his issues and doesn’t like the fans that ironically chant his name as well. He asks if Vince respects him and Vince respects Punk being champion for 323 days. However, he doesn’t respect Punk being a Paul Heyman guy. Vince isn’t a CM Punk guy which sets Punk off.

Punk goes into a tirade about how a year and a half ago he talked about being a spoke on the wheel and now he is the wheel. He’s the best thing WWE has today and he isn’t appreciated. Where’s his appreciation night? Punk threatens to leave again and this time he wouldn’t come back, even though he’s the reason Vince has any money left. If not him, then who makes this place go around? Vince says the fans make this place successful and right now all the fans want someone to shut Punk’s mouth.

Vince says Punk isn’t one of the all time greats like Andre or Bret or Shawn or Steve Austin. The Austin mention makes Punk go into a rant about Austin running away and being scared of people. Austin’s greatest accomplishment was beating up a clueless millionaire. Punk goes on ANOTHER rant about how the company and Vince have slapped him in the face for years, so Punk slaps Vince across the face, causing Vince to fall down faster than he does from a Stunner. Vince wants to fire him but that’s too good for him. Tonight it’s Vince vs. Punk or Punk is fired. Heyman really doesn’t like this idea but Punk loves it.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Young start things off with Cara starting to speed things up very quickly. The twisting armdrag out of the corner puts Young down as does a rana. Off to Rey who low bridges Young and hits a seated senton off the apron. Titus misses a charge and Cara takes him out as we head to a break. Back with Titus hitting a backbreaker on Cara before bringing in Young for a bearhug.

Cara slams Young down as the camera freaks out. It looks like it’s shaking or something. Anyway it’s off to Rey who speeds things up and gets two on Young. Cara kicks O’Neal in the head and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take him down. Young hits the release gutbuster on Cara but Cara isn’t legal. The gutbuster doesn’t work on Rey and it’s a 619 and top rope splash for the pin on Young at 7:25.

Rating: C. This was a good speed vs. power match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the classic formula and when you have guys in there that know how to do it, things work very well. Good stuff here as Rey and Cara fit the role of the local luchadores perfectly. One thing though: STOP WITH COMMERCIALS IN SEVEN MINUTE MATCHES.

Heyman still isn’t sure on this and wants Punk to lose so that Vince doesn’t go insane on them. Punk laughs it off.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

My mind will be boggled if there’s a conclusive ending. They fight over a headlock and here’s Big Show 15 seconds in. He doesn’t do anything but walk around ringside and Barrett gets jumped. Sheamus takes over with a headlock and hits a slingshot shoulder before hooking another headlock. Wade fires off some elbows in the corner but Sheamus fires off one of his own. A suplex gets two for the champ but he can’t hit a Regal Roll. Instead it’s a knee lift to send Barrett to the floor but Barrett trips him on the apron and pulls Sheamus to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus breaking a hold and sending Barrett out to the floor. An uppercut sends Barrett up the stage a bit but Wade comes back and kicks the steps into Sheamus’ knees. Back in and it’s another chinlock which doesn’t last long. Barrett sits him in the ropes (not on them) and kicks Sheamus’ head off for a delayed two. A top rope elbow misses for Barrett and Sheamus comes back with a clothesline. Barrett tries the elbow but Sheamus steps to the side and gets the ten forearms in the ropes. We get a Dusty Rhodes reference and freaking Tensai comes in for the DQ at 12:34.

Rating: B-. Tihs was getting good until the ending. To be fair, this is happening because Sheamus jumped Tensai on Smackdown to cost Show a match so it makes sense. Why they had these guys who could have a PPV title match one day go twelve minutes on Raw is beyond me, but at least there wasn’t a winner. These two have great chemistry together.

Tensai and Barrett beat Sheamus down but Tensai gets kicked in the face and Barrett is sent to the floor. Show gets in and blocks the Brogue Kick before shoving Sheamus to the floor with a SICK thud.

JR goes to talk some sense into McMahon.

Punk comes in to see AJ and she accuses him of being afraid of fighting both Cena and Vince. Punk says whatever happens is on her head. This seemed pointless.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd

Before the match we see Cesaro at an American restaurant complaining about how fattening American food is. Non-title here and man alive Cena was right about Cesaro’s nipples. I think I left that out earlier but there were comments about said nipples. They fight over arm control with some nifty moves before Kidd gets a victory roll for two. That gets him nowhere though as Cesaro kicks his head off to take over.

Cesaro puts on the cravate and guillotines Kidd on the top rope to send him to the floor. Kidd speeds things up and hits a hard kick to the chest followed by another one through the ropes. A slingshot cradle gets two as does a slingshot legdrop to the back of the head. Kidd misses a springboard elbow though and the big uppercut takes Kidd’s head off. Neutralizer ends this at 4:25.

Rating: C+. I really liked this one as they had Cesaro looking very strong out there. Kidd is always fun to watch as the guy is just talented all around. The Neutralizer looks good for a finisher too and he can hit it on almost anyone. This was nowhere near a squash either which helped things a lot. Good stuff.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again here. The champs argue over who starts and the crowd explodes. It’s Bryan vs. Ziggy with Bryan taking over on the arm. Off to Kane and Del Rio with Kane intentionally short arming a tag attempt. Ziggler charges in and gets an uppercut to the face. Cole and JBL get in an argument over Mil Mascaras as Ziggler is thrown to the floor. Bryan tags himself in and hits a big running knee off the apron to take over.

We take a break and come back with Bryan kicking Dolph’s head off and getting into another argument with the crowd. Del Rio comes back in and puts on a chinlock, followed by a hip swiveling neckbreaker from Dolph for two. Alberto and Bryan trade rapid fire kicks in the corner but Bryan misses a running kick in the corner. We get into some standard tag stuff with Bryan being cut off from Kane by both bad guys. Well, both bad guys not named Bryan as he’s still a heel. Alberto hooks a chinlock followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

Back to Ziggler who prevents another tag despite taking a shot to the face. Del Rio comes back in with a kick to the face for another two. Another chinlock goes on as this match is DRAGGING. Bryan avoids a charging Del Rio, sending the shoulder into the post. There’s the tag to Kane and the big fried freak takes over with some clotheslines.

A double chokeslam is broken up and a Fameasser gets a VERY close two on Kane. Kane hits a sidewalk slam on Dolph and goes up, but Bryan tags himself in and hits a top rope dropkick for two on Dolph. Del Rio misses a charge and hits the floor. Vickie is up on the apron, giving Dolph a rollup for two. A Buzzsaw kick to Ziggler sets up a chokeslam from Kane for the pin at 16:00.

Rating: C+. Cut three minutes out of this and it goes WAY up. Kane and Bryan work well together and the fans are still into them, but we need some more of their segments to get their fire back. Until then they’re just a dysfunctional tag team and we’ve had a lot of them over the years. Not bad here though as they picked up a lot at the end.

JR finds Vince in the back and talks about the JR Appreciation segment from after Raw went off the air last week. Vince called JR a friend and as a friend, JR says don’t do this, because “remember what happened to the King after he fought CM Punk.” JR goes into JR mode and says what he’ll say if Vince wins.

Now, I kid you not, here’s LARRY KING in the arena for a sitdown interview with The Miz. Apparently it’s Miz’s birthday and he wants King and King’s wife to sing Happy Birthday. King has another guest: Kofi Kingston. Kofi plays to the crowd and Miz freaks out. Miz goes off on King’s history of divorces and calls Kofi and Larry amateurs. Larry’s wife throws water on Miz. Miz starts taking his jacket off but Kofi jumps him and throws Miz off the stage.

We look at Austin vs. McMahon in WWE 13. Next.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Rhodes Scholars vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

The Scholars think this is a mismatch. The winners of this get Rey and Cara. Gee I wonder who is going to win here. Cody and Ryder start things off with the heel in control. Off to Sandow who misses his wind-up elbow, allowing for the tag to Santino. The Cobra is loaded up but the Disaster Kick ends Santino at 3:07.

Rating: D. It was short and the ending was almost never in doubt. What else are you expecting from something like this? Sandow getting pushed like this is a good thing and the more Cody on my screen the better my show becomes. At least the match didn’t last long, which is all you can ask in something like this.

As the Scholars leave, Encore comes down and beats up Santino and Ryder.

Heyman comes to see Vince in the back and begs for McMahon’s mercy on Punk tonight. Vince goes off on Heyman for poisoning Punk’s mind but Heyman says he’s here for Vince’s sake. Heyman invokes HHH’s name to shake Vince up a bit.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary as she always is anymore. Apparently she gets the winner of this. Eve is champion coming in just in case it’s like 2031 or something. Kaitlyn takes over to start and suplexes Eve down a few times followed by a fireman’s carry into a kind of Torture Rack. Eve rakes the eyes and kicks out the bad ankle to take over. Kaitlyn hits a backbreaker but it hurts her ankle again. Eve goes after the ankle by standing on it before putting on a heel hook for the tap at 2:54. This wasn’t terrible at all.

Layla makes the save and Eve becomes all nice and sweet again.

Alberto is in the back with Ricardo when Josh comes in with a Tweet for him to read. Del Rio isn’t interested but it’s from Randy Orton. Orton says he’ll be at Smackdown on Friday. Del Rio isn’t happy.

Larry King and his wife are leaving when Bryan comes up to him. Bryan wants advice on being called a goatface and hits on King’s wife. She says no and Kane comes up to say he carries the team. The usual argument ensues. When I said more segments, I didn’t mean with Larry King. Larry and his wife leave. Kane: “That was Larry King? I thought it was Skellator.” Eh not bad but it’s no “my name is Gerald.”

Heyman thinks the way out of this is for Punk to beat Vince so badly that Vince can’t make another decision ever again.

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT. Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock.

Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

Overall Rating: B-. This is another example of an episode of Raw that would have been AWESOME at two hours but the third hour brings it down. The pacing was fine this week which is the major issue the show had last week. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was WAY better than what we’ve been getting lately. They actually did some stuff here instead of just chasing themselves around in circles. Also, look what happens with FAR less backstage GM nonsense.

Results

Ryback b. Epico/Primo – Shell Shock

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Prime Time Players – Top rope splash to Young

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Tensai interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. Tyson Kidd – Neutralizer

HELL NO b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam to Ziggler

Rhodes Scholars b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Disaster Kick to Marella

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Heel Hook

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

For some reason wrestling fans expect wrestlers to be able to do everything. I’m not sure where this comes from but I think it has something to do with the theory that wrestling is based around being able to do a lot of moves. This is another of those ideas that needs to be crushed and needs to be crushed quickly. Today I’m going to be talking about wrestlers using the moves that they’re supposed to use and why the amount of moves someone uses is completely irrelevant to their talent level. Let’s get to it.

Back in 1997, Shawn Michaels had a “knee injury” and couldn’t wrestle at Wrestlemania 13, so instead he did commentary on the world title match. That night, Sid defended the world title against the Undertaker. During the match, Sid was in control and Shawn said something like “Sid doesn’t deviate from his game plan that much, because that power takes him everywhere he needs to go.”

That right there is a lesson that a large amount of wrestling fans need to learn. Today, you hear people talking about guys like Punk and Bryan and using the words Best in the World to describe them. Their justification for this seems to be that Punk and Bryan put on long and entertaining matches with a wide variety of moves. These same fans tend to criticize guys like Hogan and Cena for using a much smaller moveset.

Think about it: how many times have you heard someone criticize Cena because “he only knows five moves”? If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it way too many times. This is a stupid thing to say for a number of reasons which we’ll cover today. Not only is this stupid to say about Cena, but it’s a stupid thing to say about anyone.

Let’s take a look at the greatest wrestler of all time: Hulk Hogan. Love him, hate him, whatever you think about him, there is zero denying that since 1980, no one has had a bigger influence on professional wrestling. No one has been a bigger star than Hogan and few have become a bigger household name (which is another article for another time as well). In short, he’s the biggest star ever in wrestling and there isn’t much to argue about that.

Now that being said, I don’t think anyone would call Hogan a ring general, in the sense that he wrestled a lot of matches the exact same way. Hogan had a formula to his matches and he rarely shifted from that formula. There isn’t much denying of that, nor is there really any denying that Hogan used probably less than ten different moves (punch, big boot, legdrop, high knee, choke, back rake, suplex, ax bomber and that’s about all that jumps to mind) in his entire career.

Here’s the big secret though: there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hogan wrestled a very basic style and found something that worked (aside: how many botches can you think of from Hogan when he was in the red and yellow? I’d be impressed if you could come up with more than five. The guy was a very safe worker which he never gets credit for) so he never really shifted from it.

Why did Hogan never change or mix it up? Well why should he have done so? Hogan got some of the biggest reactions for well over 20 years doing the exact same stuff, and it never stopped working. Hogan got to the top of the wrestling world using the same formula and it never stopped at all. Somehow being the biggest star ever made him into the worst wrestler ever.

Another subject that often gets the same reaction is the current biggest star in the world, John Cena. I’ve never been what you would call a Cena hater. I’ve never come close to one and I likely never will be one. I’m not a huge Cena fan either, but I respect the guy. One of the biggest knocks on Cena is that he doesn’t have as wide ranging of a moveset as Bryan or Punk. This is another criticism that has a true premise (Bryan and Punk likely do have more variety in their offense) but an untrue conclusion (this makes them better wrestlers).

Cena’s offense (which has more than five moves: shoulder block, AA, STF, Shuffle, top rope legdrop, spinout slam. There, idea proven wrong) is one based around firing up the crowd at the right times. Look at his matches with Punk. I don’t think anyone would suggest that they’re boring and I don’t think anyone would suggest they’re bad. Cena and Hogan both are masters at making comebacks and working a crowd, just like guys like Bret and Shawn were.

This is what makes Hogan and Cena great: they know how to work a crowd. Look at the biggest names in the history of wrestling (in no order): Hogan, Cena, Rock, Austin. What do these four have in common? Among many other things, they play to the crowd. That’s what makes them great. They get the fans to care about them and get the crowd to care about them. The true test of the greatness of a wrestler is the amount of a reaction they can draw from an audience.

Think of it like this: when is the last time you remember Cena coming out to no reaction? Ask the same question about Rock, Austin or Hogan. The people respond to them and care about them. How many wrestlers have you seen come out and no one moves? How many times have you seen a tag match with the hot tag without a reaction from the crowd? The match may be fine from a technical standpoint, but no one cares at all. I can’t count how many indy matches I’ve watched with a lot of flips and high flying moves and ten minutes after the match I can’t remember the people in it. That’s not a good sign.

Let’s take a look at another side of this. Another criticism of guys like Cena or Hogan is that they don’t know how to perform moves like Punk and Bryan do. Is this honestly believed? Do you think Cena couldn’t do a hurricanrana if he tried to and practiced it? Let’s take a look at this from the other perspective: what do you think would happen if Punk tried to AA the Big Show? Even with months if not years of physical training, do you think he could pull it off on that frame? Cena uses his physical abilities in the right way. Here’s another example of that which might make a little more sense.

When the names of worst wrestlers in the world are brought up, one that is often mentioned is The Great Khali. Usually when people say this, I roll my eyes because it’s clear these people have little idea what they’re talking about. Khali is legitimately over 7’0 and weighs probably 400lbs or so. He has physical attributes that only a handful of people on the planet have. In other words, almost no one in the wrestling world are built like Khali.

SO WHY WOULD PEOPLE WANT HIM TO WRESTLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE??? Khali doesn’t run the ropes or use armbars and wristlocks because it would be REALLY stupid for him to do so. He’s a freaking giant, meaning that everything he does is enhanced. Khali using a simple move like a chop isn’t the same as say Michael McGillicutty using a chop. You’re talking about a guy’s arm probably being ten feet off the ground and coming down with 400lbs of weight powering it. His size alone makes it look painful.

No, Khali can’t get down on the mat like a Bret Hart or fly through the air like a Kofi Kingston, but Bret Hart can’t make power moves look as devastating as Khali and Kofi can’t realistically use a chokebomb as a finisher. It would make no sense for them to try because that’s not their natural strength. Complaining because Khali can’t perform basic wrestling moves is ridiculous because he doesn’t need to perform them to be effective.

In short, the idea that a wrestler’s ability is tied to the amount of moves that he uses is ridiculous. To say that for example Daniel Bryan is a better wrestler than Cena because he uses a ton of submissions makes no sense. If that’s what determined who the best wrestlers in the world were, William Regal vs. Dean Malenko would have headlined about seven Wrestlemanias in a row. Wrestling is a performance first, not an athletic event first. It’s about using what works, not using everything there is.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2012
Location: Chesepeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma|
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in Oklahoma tonight which means a few things. First of all, it’s JR Appreciation Night but that might only be for the post show stuff. Also I believe we’re in the arena where Punk first cashed in the MITB case and won his first world title, which will likely be mentioned. We’re also likely to see what Ryback staring Punk down last week will mean, and on the Blue side, we’re getting…..wait for it….a debate between Big Show and Sheamus. Yet they wonder why no one watches Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of Punk’s antics last week, including the great promo with Foley and turning around to see Ryback at the end of the show.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. During the entrance the Appreciation Night is mentioned. Punk complains about the attack last week and says in Chicago that’s called weakness. Punk was looking for a doctor at the end of the show when he low blowed Foley. He didn’t like the lack of respect that Foley was showing him and thinks Foley never would have talked like that to Cena or Rock or Austin. Punk doesn’t like the lack of respect this crowd is showing him either. Tonight, Punk is here to announce that it’s still not going to be Punk vs. Cena inside the Cell.

Punk whispers something to Heyman and Paul takes the mic. Heyman would like to move on to something else and that would be the proposal to AJ. This seems to bring out AJ but they cut her music after about half a second. Must be a production miscue. Heyman points out that while AJ didn’t say no, she did violate an ordinance from the board of directors, that if AJ strikes someone, she’s in trouble. Heyman calls for her removal from power and wants her job.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph with Vickie demanding that AJ be fired also and we get a clip of AJ beating her up a few months back. Heyman wants to know when this became about Vickie. Vickie cuts him off and says she represents the future World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman makes the obvious point that he’s with the CURRENT WWE Champion. Ziggler suggests Heyman and Vickie being co-GMs.

This brings out AJ to a surprisingly big reaction. AJ says she’s officially on probation which means we can drag this story out for a few more weeks. Apparently even Heyman doesn’t count as an exception so she has an executive coach to help with her development as a GM. And it’s Daniel Bryan. Bryan snaps on the crowd and yells NO a lot, saying he’s just here to apologize.

Bryan thinks AJ has gone insane because of being dumped by the man with the amazing beard. Now he’s the tag team champions, and you know who this brings out. Kane points out that AJ is a phenomenal kisser. Everything else that Bryan said was true, but he (Kane) is the tag team champions. Ziggler and Punk get in an argument of their own over who is better until AJ freaks out and reaches octaves even Vickie is jealous of. She makes the tag match you would expect her to make with the four guys in the ring. Total time for the opening segment: 21 minutes.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Epico/Primo vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Epico start with Cara hitting a Tajiri Elbow for two. Off to Primo who doesn’t do any better. Cara and Rey have inverted matching attire now. Rey comes in and the cousins are sent to the floor, but the masked guys stop before diving Epico and Primo move. Here are the Prime Time Players to sit on the stage as we take a break.

Back with Rey tagging out to Cara who comes in with a big springboard cross body. Cara kind of botches a springboard armdrag but it’s not too bad. Epico dropkicks him out of the air for two as the cousins take over. A quick sunset flip gets two on Primo for Cara and it’s back to Epico. Cara spins Epico around and slams him into the mat to get some separation and there’s the tag to Rey.

A big kick to the head takes Primo down and a seated senton does the same. A spinning reverse DDT gets two and here’s Cara with a springboard missile dropkick. There’s a kick to Primo’s head and it’s a double 619. Both masked guys go up top and Cara dives on Epico as the top rope splash from Rey pins Primo at 9:27.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw four high fliers out there and have them jump a lot. It worked for years in WCW and it worked here too. The Players didn’t do much here, but what did do something here was the commercial. It’s annoying when you have one like a minute into a match and the post break stuff has to act like a full match for all intents and purposes.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here and no entrance for Brodus. There was no entrance for either tag team earlier so maybe they’re trying to hurry things up. It’s an easy way to add a lot of time to the show actually. Brodus takes him into the corner to start and suplexes him down. A headbutt to the chest does the same but the t-bone suplex is blocked. Clay misses a splash and a springboard uppercut (you read that right) gets two and the Neutralizer pins Clay in 1:06. I guess it’s time for Brodus to be a jobber.

AJ comes up to Kaitlyn and introduces her to the coach, Christopher J. Stevenson, a guy in a suit. Kaitlyn will be ready to go again next week, even though she’s in her ring gear tonight. AJ wants to talk about their relationship and is all serious before going into an insane laugh. She isn’t really sorry at all and skips away. The coach says nothing at all.

Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Miz takes him down with a shoulder block and a pair of boots to the head for two. Ryder makes a comeback and hits the Broski boot for two as we hear about Larry King as the social media ambassador. The Rough Ryder is countered into a buckle bomb and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the pin at 2:39.

Here are Booker, Show and Sheamus for the debate. Show gets to make an opening statement but Show says this is stupid. He’s going to knock Sheamus out and Sheamus can’t even kick that high, so the Brogue Kick means nothing. Sheamus asks Show not to rip his leg off because he needs it to kick Show’s teeth in. All of the questions come from fans and the first question is what do you find the most challenging about your opponent. Sheamus is looking forward to the fight and the biggest issue is the match lasting more than 45 seconds. Sheamus has something between his eyes that looks like a bruise.

Show defends his hygiene in response to something Sheamus said and the second question is who has the most devastating finisher (Booker, reading the questions off the screen, gets Show’s finisher’s name wrong). Sheamus mentions the 45 second loss again and Show gets mad again. FINALLY he breaks his podium and we go to the last question.

Sheamus wants it to be from his cousin’s Tout. It’s from Rey Mysterio Sullivan, which is clearly Sheamus holding a mask to his face. Show complains about this not being serious again so Sheamus asks how it feels to lose the title in 45 seconds. Show takes off his jacket and Sheamus takes off his shirt. Show is dripping sweat and he walks away. This was REALLY worthless and it doesn’t make me want to see them fight at all. It does however make me want to know what is on Sheamus’ nose.

Ryback vs. Tensai

For those of you that were fascinated by the two minute match these two had on Smackdown I guess. Tensai runs him over to start but Ryback pops up and smiles. They slug it out and Ryback powerslams him down with ease. A belly to belly is broken up by Tensai so Ryback clotheslines him down with ease. Ryback can’t Shell Shock him on the first two attempts so he clotheslines him again for the pin at 1:49.

The Rhodes Scholars love their name and make fun of the debate. Sandow wasn’t pleased with the lack of formal wear from Sheamus. They think Sheamus is a neanderthal. And that’s it.

More cancer stuff.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match Eve talks about how awesome the Divas are. Beth tentatively shakes her hand and blocks the surprise attack from Eve. This is non-title by the way. Beth misses a charge and hits the post so Eve goes to the floor to pound on the bad arm. Beth gets rammed onto the floor and into the barricade which draws a nine count. Back inside Eve is upset so Beth runs her over. Eve hides in the ropes and comes out with her neckbreaker for the pin at 2:35.

AJ runs into Barrett in the back and my goodness Barrett is tall. Barrett says AJ needs the coach because Barrett doesn’t even have a match tonight. He says AJ has done a horrible job with her emotional outbursts and letting her personal relationships get in the way of her job. Barrett leaves and AJ thinks the coach is intimidated.

We hear about JBL climbing mountains to raise money for poor kids. Nothing wrong with charity work.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Apparently the One Man Band now has two people with him in the forms of Mahal and McIntyre. After a quick dance off they trade shoulder blocks and Slater elbows him in the face to take over. Slater’s group is called Encore apparently. He slams Santino down and jumps into the boot and Santino uses his usual stuff. The Cobra hits and Mahal/McIntyre run in for the DQ at 2:51.

Encore destroys Santino post match. All three of them say their nicknames and that’s about it. Slater’s theme song starting with “I’m just one man” is really stupid now.

Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus

Sandow hides to start so Sheamus grabs him by the beard and pounds away. Damien hides on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sandow hitting the floor again, drawing huge boos. Sheamus chases him into the crowd and catches Cody trying to interfere. The distraction lets Sandow clothesline Sheamus down and he takes over back in the ring. After some basic shots to the upper body, Sandow puts on a chinlock. Sandow fires off knees to the chest and hits a Russian legsweep and the windup elbow for two.

Damien pounds away some more and gets two off an elbow to the face. Back to the chinlock as Sandow’s offense is pretty much exhausted at this point. With Sheamus in 619 position, Sandow hits a charging hip shot to the back for two. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Sandow knocks him off the top with a good right hand. A boot to the head gets one for the non-champion and it’s off to a front facelock again.

Sheamus gets knocked to the floor as Sandow is still dominating which is pretty surprising. Back in and Damien gets another two and then another two and then chinlock #3 assuming you don’t count the variations of the move he’s already used. Sheamus comes back with a suplex to escape the hold and hits a knee lift and Regal Roll.

Sandow escapes a powerslam and hits a flipping neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets the feet up in the corner and a top rope battering ram gets two. Sandow escapes White Noise but gets caught in the ten forearms. Sheamus catches Cody coming and sends him into the ring as well. A single Brogue Kick takes out both guys and pins Sandow at 15:45.

Rating: C+. Sandow looked better than usual here but man alive does he need to expand his offense a bit. Five chinlock variations in a fifteen minute match is hard to get past. It’s very good to see Sandow get a rub like this though, as he looked credible against a guy who is way out of his league. Not a great match or anything but a good stepping stone for Damien.

It’s time for Jim Ross Appreciation Night and Cole sucks up to JR now because the scripts calls for it. Before JR can say anything, here are Punk and Heyman. Punk tells Cole to go sit down and asks the fans to make some noise. He says the fans don’t know the first thing about respect and says JR is going to make the fans believe it, by saying Punk is the best in the world.

JR calls Punk a jackass instead and Punk is mad. He wants to know what JR is going to do if Punk gets physical. Will Ross scream for Austin to help, because Austin isn’t here. Today is the 316^th day Punk has been champion which means that number now belongs to Punk. JR belongs to Punk right now too and JR is going to say it, no matter what. Ross says no because he’s called some of the best matches of all time with the best in the world in them and those people have earned the right. Punk needs to walk into the Cell and beat Cena, and then JR will say he’s the best in the world.

Punk takes his jacket off and steals JR’s hat which he stomps on. Them are fighting words in Oklahoma. JR looks like he’s about to cry and Punk talks about all the time he’s beaten Cena and makes fun of the Thunder for losing in the NBA Finals. Punk gives JR a chance to run or he’s going to get knocked out. JR goes to leave but Punk stops him, saying there’s no more commentary for JR for the rest of the night. Punk makes him take the walk of shame and berates him as he leaves.

Cue Ryback and JR immediately turns back towards the ring. Ryback stares Punk down with JR behind him. Punk doesn’t back down at first and the fans are chanting FEED ME MORE. Now Punk backs down, which is something he said he never does in his promo a few moments before.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Post Smackdown Del Rio attacked the already down Orton to put Orton off TV to film the movie I’d assume. Ricardo is going to do commentary here. This should be good. Del Rio immediately takes Kofi down to start but Kofi speeds things up as you would expect. Kofi knocks Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Alberto holding an abdominal stretch with Ricardo complaining that it’s 3-1 with Little Jimmy and R-Truth out there. Kofi escapes and hits an elbow and clothesline. A nice dropkick puts Del Rio down followed by the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise misses but the springboard cross body does as well. Armbreaker and we’re done at 6:10. Most of that was during the break so no rating, but this was nothing of note.

The coach talks to AJ in the back about putting aside her personal issues. AJ wants something special to happen tonight, like making the coach the guest referee for the main event. This is only made interesting by hearing JR talking about doing a reveal in something we weren’t supposed to hear. That’s production gaffe #3 tonight. For those of you counting, I only mentioned one of them. An incorrect graphic was put up earlier as well as AJ’s music playing too early.

Hell No vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title and AJ’s coach is referee for some reason. Scratch that as after the break before the match, AJ comes out as referee. Well I’m assuming she looks better in the outfit if nothing else. Kane and Ziggler start things off with Kane shoving him around a lot. Ziggler tries to get on Kane’s back but gets clotheslined to the floor. Bryan tags himself in as we take ANOTHER break.

Back with Ziggler holding Kane in the sleeper which means nothing anymore. A dropkick puts Kane down for two but the monster comes back with the low dropkick for two. A jumping DDT takes Kane down again and there’s the tag to Punk for the corner clothesline. Say it with me: the bulldog is countered. A side slam gets two on Punk as we still haven’t seen Bryan yet.

Kane hits the clothesline but as usual, Bryan tags in while Kane sets for the chokeslam. Punk kicks Bryan out of the air but Bryan moonsaults out of the corner. A clothesline from Daniel sets up the kicks and he takes Ziggler down as well, only to walk into the high kick for two. Dolph comes in and dropkicks Bryan to the floor. Bryan gets thrown into the barricade which gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Punk who goes up and gets crotched by Bryan. A butterfly superplex sets up the NO Lock on Punk but Punk (with Heyman’s help) makes the rope. AJ ejects both Heyman and Vickie, which makes Ziggler leave as well. Punk walks into the chokeslam and kane gets the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but it felt more like an angle than the match itself. Bryan and Kane have more or less been turned face now which is the best thing for both of them. They also weren’t featured as much tonight which is another good thing for them, as the company was bordering on overkill with them. Not a great match but it did its job….whatever that was.

Overall Rating: D+. This one felt flat to me. The biggest problem of all was that in the first two hours or so, everything felt really short, making it hard to get into anything. I’m wondering what the point was in squashing Clay, but more importantly we have Ryback getting face to face with Punk in the ring and the place going NUTS. That’s a really good sign for Ryback and hopefully it means something for the future. Not a good show tonight as it felt really flat, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Epico/Primo – Top Rope Splash to Primo

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Tensai – Clothesline

Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Spinning Neckbreaker

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater via DQ when Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal interfered

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Hell No b. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk – Chokeslam to Punk

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