WWE Vault Grab Bag VIII
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Stan Lane, Rodger Kent, Superstar Billy Graham, Rod Trongard, Michael Cole

It’s time for another batch of randomness as thrown on the WWE Vault channels (and its assorted spinoffs). While I have a list of matches I’ve picked, there’s no theme here as I’m just doing them at random. You never know what you’re going to get here and that can make it a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

From East Rutherford, New Jersey, January 5, 1987.

Honky Tonk Man/Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan/Ricky Steamboat

Why yes, I’m shocked that this is from 1987 too. Jimmy Hart and Miss Elizabeth are here with the villains. Hogan and Steamboat clear the ring without much trouble to start as we’re still in the suspenders period for Honky Tonk Man. Savage throws in a chair and manages to hit the referee but he’s back up, with Steamboat taking over on Honky Tonk Man, who is sent into Hogan’s raised boot.

Savage goes up but Hogan is right there to warn Steamboat, actually being a good partner for once. Steamboat even takes Honky Tonk Man over to the corner so Savage can tag but we’ll save that for later. A less than clean crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s off to Hogan, who does make Honky Tonk Man tag out. Savage bails to the floor and is pulled right back inside for a tag back to Honky Tonk Man. Steamboat and Hogan take turns knocking Honky Tonk Man down, this time into a chinlock, as Savage keeps running around.

Honky Tonk Man gets out and actually takes over on Hogan, with some right hands connecting in the corner. It’s back to Steamboat, who grabs a sleeper as Honky Tonk Man can’t keep anything going. Steamboat hits the ropes but Savage gets in a knee to the back to cut him off. NOW Steamboat is willing to come in for some shots to the back, allowing Honky Tonk Man to get in some offense for a change.

Another Savage distraction lets Honky Tonk Man get in a slam on the floor but this time Hogan is over there to go after Savage. The fans certainly approve, even as Savage runs away again. Steamboat chops his way out of trouble and it’s back to Hogan, who knocks Savage down without even getting in the ring. That and some regular right hands are enough work from Hogan, who hands it back to Steamboat for the chops.

Honky Tonk Man shoves him off the top and gets punched on the floor for his troubles. Savage grabs the bell but gets slammed off the top, allowing Steamboat to pick it up. That’s enough for Savage to run off and the good guys beat up Hart and Honky Tonk Man. Hogan and Steamboat win via DQ at around 12:30.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t so much a great match as much as it was a blast by having two of the best villains against the two goodliest good guys of all time. They got to have an easy tag match with Honky Tonk Man getting beaten up and Savage running around all over the place. It’s no surprise that the fans went nuts throughout the whole thing because, well, why wouldn’t they?

From New York City, New York, July 12, 1986.

Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino vs. Randy Savage/Adrian Adonis

In a cage, Jimmy Hart and Elizabeth are here too, and both members of the team have to escape. The villains jump them on the way in but Sammartino avoids a belt shot to start the early comeback. Sammartino unloads on Savage in the corner as Adonis elbows Santana into the corner. Adonis is sent into the cage and immediately tries to escape, which doesn’t exactly work.

The pairs trade off and Savage goes to escape, which doesn’t work either. Adonis still can’t get out the door as Sammartino pulls Savage down for a big crash. Sammartino flips Savage upside down in the corner and stomps away but has to stop and crotch Adonis on top. Back up and Savage sends Santana into the cage, as Sammartino does with Adonis. The ax handle hits Santana, who is busted open to make this feel more serious.

Sammartino easily cuts Savage off by trying to escape so Adonis rakes Santana’s face over the cage. The big rights and lefts have Adonis rocked in the corner and Santana is back up to slug it out with Savage. Santana knocks Savage out of the air and Adonis actually breaks the steps as he tries to get outside, pulling the top off as Sammartino pulls him back inside.

It’s so 80s as you can see the nails sticking out of the things. Savage is sent into the cage and is busted open as well but catches Santana low on the way out. Adonis gets all the way to the top of the cage and dives down, only to miss (not really) Sammartino. Savage tries to escape again and gets punched down by Santana. Sammartino sends Adonis into the cage and leaves, with Santana dropping down to win at 9:52.

Rating: B+. Good grief this was a blast, as you had two teams who felt like they wanted to do nothing more than hurt the other guys. Adonis might not have looked the part all the time, but he could more than hang in there with anyone. Sammartino was old but still in better shape than most of the roster and the fans worshipped him. Awesome stuff here, as it felt like an all out fight.

From Stockton, California, March 13, 1995.

Bull Nakano/Hakushi vs. Alundra Blayze/Bob Holly

Yeah I’d call this different and Shinja is here with the villains. Monsoon: “My pal Sparky!” Nakano glares at Blayze for daring to chop her so Blayze goes with a middle rope shoulder instead. That and a standing moonsault are good for two but Nakano easily powerbombs her out of the corner. One heck of a hair toss has Blayze in more trouble and it’s off to the men for a change.

A running shoulder and hiptoss both put Hakushi down and it’s time to work on the arm. Back up and Hakushi backs him into the corner and adds a running dropkick. The chinlock goes on but Holly is back up to bring Blayze back in. A sunset flip doesn’t work as Nakano sits down on her for two, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Blayze does get in a missile dropkick and it’s back to Holly for two off a suplex.

Nakano trips Holly down though, with Monsoon saying “yeah the big fat one there, she pulled the leg” in a comment that was bad then and has aged even worse. Back in and the villains are sent into each other, leaving them crashing out to the floor. A pair of dives take them out again so Shinja offers a distraction so Hakushi and Nakano can get in some cheap shots. The men head outside again and Blayze grabs a German suplex for the pin at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Uh, yeah. This certainly was a tag match that happened and no it wasn’t very good. The men’s stuff was a bunch of dropkicks and basic stuff and pretty much nothing else. It’s certainly a unique match but that doesn’t mean it’s something that you want to see. Nakano and Blayze were doing ok, but it’s nothing that is overly memorable in any way.

Now we’re going to mix it up a bit, a collection of Hardcore Title matches to showcase the 24/7 Rule. For the sake of time/insanity, I won’t be listing the time or dates.

The Mean Street Posse attack Crash Holly in a Days Inn room, with Tim White diving onto the bed to count the pin. The Posse keeps getting in arguments over who gets the pin, with a lamp being busted over Rodney’s head, allowing Crash to escape. And then Pete Gas steals some room service.

Next up, the Posse, with referee Teddy Long, go to a laundromat to find Crash, who throws detergent in Rodney’s eyes. A broom to the head gives Abs two so Rodney starts swinging the Cheer. Pete Gas goes after Rodney for missing and Long is knocked down too. Crash escapes again and Rodney gets doused with Tide.

We’re off to the baggage claim at the Newark airport, where the posse jumps Crash again, with Pete actually getting the pin and the title. Then Crash hits him with a scale and gets the title back before running off to….do I really want to know? What I do: Crash’s music playing in the arena when he won the title before the show at an airport is great.

It’s time for a change of pace as the Headbangers track Crash (I feel like I’m playing Carmen Sandiego) to Funtime USA, an indoor game place. Crash was last seen playing laser tag but he’s actually found at a ball toss. Mosh slams him for no count as there’s no referee so Crash escapes and throws balls at him. Then he escapes down a slide, with the cameraman following him.

Thrasher is right there with a trashcan shot for two but Mosh breaks it up. They head over to the test your strength game but Crash avoids the big hammer smash. Crash runs into the ball pit, with the Headbangers sending Earl Hebner in first (Mosh: “Get him in the balls.”). The Headbangers can’t decide who goes in first and Crash gets in a clothesline off the monkey bars. A hurricanrana off the zipline lets Crash escape, with the Headbangers blaming Hebner.

Then one day Crash went to the circus, only to run into a clown and a referee, who appears to be thuggin and buggin, despite the fake nose and mustache. The clown jumps Crash and another joins in to help with the beating. Another clown shows up but Crash escapes and of course it’s the Posse, who decide to go “mess with the midgets”.

Later, Gerald Brisco goes into the APA’s office to find a sleeping Crash (Lawler: “Be very very quiet. I’m hunting wabbits.”) so of course commentary is quiet. Brisco has a referee count the pin but the referee trips over something and Crash chases Brisco out. Brisco runs into the ring and actually punches Crash down, only for Crash to grab the weapons. A broom is broken over Brisco’s back so here is Pat Patterson, with Brisco demanding a Stinkface. Crash breaks that up and the chase continues.

Yeah this was a blast and you could tell it was a bunch of guys being given a camera and told to go have fun.

From Evolution.

NXT UK Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Dakota Kai

This is a dark match from the original show and Ripley (in between the original blonde and what would become her trademark look) is defending. Ripley picks her up to start but Kai is right back with a quick double stomp to escape. That earns her a big toss, followed by a delayed vertical suplex to give Ripley two. Kai escapes another suplex but Ripley is right back with the Prism Trap. That’s broken up with a roll into the corner and Kai hits a Scorpion Kick, followed by a running boot in the corner. The circling Helluva Kick gives Kai two but she misses a top rope double stomp. Ripley hits a quick Riptide to retain at 3:57.

Rating: C. This wasn’t supposed to be a big, epic match and was just there to get some action in the ring. A the same time, you could see the star growing in Ripley, as she had those little mannerisms that made her feel like someone to watch. That’s the kind of charisma that you either have or don’t and to say Ripley would wind up having it in spades is an understatement.

From Rome, Italy, November 15, 2005.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Bob Orton Jr. is here with Randy. We’re joined in progress with Orton ducking some shots in the corner and grabbing a headlock. That doesn’t work either as Orton is knocked outside, where he looks rather shaken. We’re clipped to Undertaker stomping away in the corner and working on the arm.

We’re clipped again to Old School being broken up and Bob’s distraction lets Orton rake the eyes. That sets up the superplex and we’re clipped to Orton hitting a powerslam for two. We’re clipped again to Undertaker sending him into the post and clipped again (we get it already) to Undertaker beating up Bob. Orton breaks up the big legdrop on the apron to save his daddy and we’re clipped again to Undertaker getting pounded in the chest. As Bob dramatically puts his cowboy hat back on as Orton sends him back inside and hammers away.

We’re clipped again to Orton diving into a raised boot, sending him sprawling into the corner. Snake Eyes sets up the big boot and legdrop for two and we’re clipped again to Old School connecting. A Downward Spiral gets two more, with Bob’s near interference not pleasing Undertaker. The running knee (because Undertaker uses a running knee in this match) in the corner hits Orton again so Bob offers another distraction, earning an ejection. The running bit boot misses for Undertaker though, as we pan over to Bob still leaving.

With that out of the way, Orton gets a DDT out of the ropes (not the hanging DDT) for two before starting in on the leg. A chop block sets up a spinning toehold but we’re clipped again to the referee down and replaced by another and Undertaker sitting up. One might think that would have been a part of the match we needed to see but apparently Bob leaving was more important. The chokeslam connects and here is Bob to pull the referee. This time Bob gets in and, after the RKO is blocked, Undertaker gives him a Tombstone. Another Tombstone finishes Orton at 10:56.

Rating: B-. There was a lot of clipping here but the good thing is you can mostly tell what was going on. Granted it helps when you’re at a house show because it’s not like any of them are going to do anything out of the ordinary. The match was good enough but Orton not even hitting an RKO left it a bit lacking. Still though, Undertaker being on the card was a big enough deal and the fans were way into it.

From Glasgow, Scotland, November 1, 2017.

Shield/??? vs. Bray Wyatt/The Bar

Roman Reigns isn’t here so Seth Rollins says he and Dean Ambrose need a partner. This was a phone call he never thought he would make but he knows he always needs a Plan B. That would apparently be HHH, in Shield gear, or at least something close to it, for quite the reaction. HHH and Rollins have the big staredown until Rollins offers him a vest, which HHH accepts.

Rollins starts with Cesaro, who grabs a headlock for the traditional grinding. Back up and Rollins hits a crossbody and superkick to the ribs before it’s off to Ambrose. A basement clothesline sets up a splash from Rollins, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Cesaro over to the corner. The mohawk with Sheamus attached (that thing has to be sentient) comes in and gets crossbodied as well, with Rollins adding a top rope shot to the head. Sheamus is back up and hands it off to Wyatt, who takes over on Rollins in the corner.

The upside down stare freaks Rollins out so it’s off to HHH for the staredown. Wyatt actually wins the slugout and does the spider walk so HHH gives him a running clothesline. Ambrose comes in to stomp away, allowing his partners to double team Wyatt like good heroes should do. Wyatt gets over for the tag to Sheamus, who is quickly kneed in the ribs and kicked to the floor. An invading Wyatt has to bail from the threat of a Pedigree, leaving HHH and the Shield to load up dives.

Rollins and Ambrose dive but HHH would rather just jump from the apron and go after Wyatt, which you could see coming but it still worked. The big brawl breaks out on the floor until Sheamus blocks Dirty Deeds to take over. Cesaro grabs a chinlock and it’s back to Wyatt for a running clothesline of his own. Ambrose manages a neckbreaker so Sheamus knees him into the ropes, only to have Ambrose hit the rebound lariat. Rollins springboards in with a clothesline (popular move here) and a Blockbuster but Cesaro gets in a cheap shot from the apron (yes it was a clothesline) to take over again.

Sheamus’ middle rope ax handle sets up a chinlock and an Irish Curse gets two. Wyatt hits a gutbuster for the same and we’re off to a chinlock. A knee from the apron lets Cesaro get two and Rollins is sent outside to keep up the beatdown. Cesaro goes outside and gets chopped, only to come back with a front facelock inside. With the hold almost broken, Cesaro boots HHH off the apron and then uppercuts Rollins to give Sheamus two.

We pause for the Bar to yell at the referee….who pulls an Earl Hebner and yells right back at Sheamus. That’s enough for Rollins to chop and kick back at Sheamus, who misses a charge into the post. The jumping tag brings in HHH for the comeback, including a facebuster to Cesaro. The big knee drop gets two and HHH hits a spinebuster as everyone else gets back inside. They’re cleared out and the Neutralizer is countered, with the Pedigree getting two as Sheamus makes the save. Dirty Deeds drops Sheamus and the TripleBomb finishes Cesaro at 20:47.

Rating: B+. I wasn’t that interested coming into this one when it came up on the list but it wound up being a heck of a match. HHH didn’t do much until the end, but that’s the point of a guest star like this. The fans got to see something rather cool and it cool to see everyone putting in some hard work at a house show. Rather good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

Post match HHH joins in the Shield pose.

From Boston, Massachusetts, June 4, 1988.

Demolition/Mr. Fuji vs. Strike Force/Ultimate Warrior

Well this is certainly something. The bell rings and we pause for Fuji to throw the salt until Martel slugs away at Smash. That’s not a good idea with Smash, who pounds away to take over and tags in…Fuji, which doesn’t seem overly intelligent. Shockingly enough, Fuji is quickly beaten down and slammed, allowing Warrior and Ax to come in. They stare at each other for awhile until Ax’s running shoulder has no effect.

Ax’s forearms don’t do much as Warrior is right back with a clothesline so we’ll try Smash instead. Warrior actually takes over on the arm and it’s off to Santana for both a change and a right hand to the head. The good guys take turns working on the arm but Warrior misses a Stinger Splash (I wonder where he learned that). Demolition gets to take turns beating on Warrior and Fuji hits a falling headbutt to the ribs.

Ax charges into a raised boot in the corner though and it’s off to Martel to fire off the right hands. Santana comes in with the flying forearm and grabs the Figure Four as everything breaks down. Warrior drops a salt wielding Fuji with a clothesline and Fuji is rather out of it. The hold is broken and Fuji is taken out, leaving Strike Force to work on the leg. Ax gets in a shot to Santana though and it’s back to Smash to choke on the ropes.

The villains keep trading off, with Ax grabbing a chinlock. Smash’s neck crank does about the same but Ax misses a headbutt. Smash misses an elbow as well and a crawling Santana gets over to Martel to the hot tag. The Boston crab goes on so Ax makes the save and Warrior comes in for the save. Warrior actually gets sent outside but comes back in with a top rope ax handle to pin Ax at 16:28.

Rating: B-. This was a weird match with Fuji being injured and not really dropping much as a result. If nothing else, you don’t want to see one of the reigning Tag Team Champions take a pin, which almost had to be Fuji otherwise. It wasn’t a great match but it was certainly a unique one, which is a nice thing to see.

From Rome, Italy, November 15, 2005. I really wasn’t expecting to go to Italy twice (and the same show at that) in a single set but oh well.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Juventud Guerrera

Nunzio is challenging and gives us a quick introduction. We start with a pose down and the handheld camera running around is giving me ECW flashbacks. Guerrera takes him into the corner to start but gets knocked down, sending Guerrera bailing to the floor. Nunzio goes outside as well for a ram into the apron but misses a Sicilian Slice back inside. A basement dropkick knocks Nunzio silly and a clothesline cuts him off.

We hit the dragon sleeper for a bit, followed by an elbow, which seems to fire Nunzio up. That just earns him a dropkick for two and Guerrera is already getting frustrated. A rollup out of the corner gets two on Guerrera and Nunzio makes the clothesline comeback. Nunzio grabs a headlock of all thing and they go to the mat, which seems like a mistake of some kind. Back up and the Sicilian Slice gets a very close two as Guerrera gets the foot on the rope. The Juvy Driver plants Nunzio but Guerrera stands up, allowing Nunzio to grab a backslide for the pin and the title at 6:45 to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: C+. The match was about what you would have expected from a 2005 Cruiserweight Title match at a house show but dang the crowd was into everything they were doing. Giving Nunzio the title match was absolutely the right call in front of a crowd like that and given that he dropped it back a week later on Smackdown, this wasn’t the biggest disaster. Nice moment here, albeit in just an ok match.

Post match Nunzio celebrates in Italian.

From New York City, New York, January 23, 1989.

Rockers vs. Brainbusters

Michaels and Anderson start things off with Michaels quickly complaining about a hair pull. I mean he’s telling the truth but toughen up man. Anderson runs the ropes but gets threatened out to the floor, with Jannetty throwing him back inside. Everything breaks down and the Rockers clear the ring, with Anderson coming back in to slap Michaels in the face. Blanchard comes in and Michaels is smart enough to bail to the floor to avoid a double teaming.

Back in and Michaels armdrags Blanchard into an armbar and Jannetty drops a splash on said arm. Anderson tries to make a save and the Rockers get to trade places behind the referee’s back in a spot that always works. A double Japanese armdrag takes both Busters down and Michaels saves Jannetty from the double suplex. The double superkick sends the Busters outside and Anderson wants a timeout (a signature thing for him).

Back in and Blanchard grabs the rope to avoid Michaels’ dropkick but Michaels hurricanrana Blanchard. Everything breaks down again and the Busters are double dropkicked to the floor. Blanchard gets back inside, where Michaels escapes the slingshot suplex and follows him to the floor. That’s enough for Anderson to catch Michaels with a clothesline as the Busters finally take over.

Back in again and a suplex gets two on Michaels, setting up a chinlock. That’s broken up and Michaels tries a sunset flip, with Anderson falling into a tag to keep him in trouble. Michaels is able to get up top for a high crossbody, only for Anderson to pull him into an abdominal stretch. The Busters try to switch without a tag and get caught (playing off the earlier spot) so it’s back to Anderson for a reverse chinlock.

Michaels gets up and backslides Blanchard for two but still can’t get the tag. Anderson is back in for the “body to body suplex” (also known as an Anderson Drop and later, the spinebuster). A sitdown splash hits raised knees though and it’s FINALLY back to Jannetty so house can be cleaned. The top rope punch gets two on Blanchard with Anderson making the save. Jannetty tries a suplex but Anderson sweeps the leg from the floor and grabs the lace to give Blanchard the pin at 16:20.

Rating: B+. I for one am shocked that two of the best teams of the 80s were able to have a really good match with a lot of time in front of a crowd that appreciated the match. These teams had great chemistry and of course the Busters knew exactly how to wrestle this kind of a match with a fast paced team. Heck of a showcase here, which would be the case any time these teams got together.

Post match the brawl is still on, with the Rockers clearing the ring.

From Superstars, May 14, 2009.

Big Show vs. Hornswoggle

You know, call it a hunch but I think we might have a theme show here. This is billed as an exhibition match and Show is blowing off steam after losing to John Cena back at Wrestlemania. The bell rings and they stare at each other (one in fear) for over a minute before Show easily picks him up. A gorilla press to the floor is teased before Show puts him on top. Show actually lays down and offers to let him hit the Tadpole Splash but then moves, with Hornswoggle knowing he’s in trouble. The KO Punch is loaded up but Goldust runs in to save Hornswoggle at 3:01.

Rating: D. I mean, what am I supposed to say here? This was an angle disguised as a match and little more than a joke. You could see how far Superstars was already falling with this as the big idea and there was no point to trying anything else. At least they kept it short, which is the point, even though it felt like quite the waste of time overall.

Post match Show lays Goldust out without much trouble.

Overall Rating: B. This was the kind of mixture that I wanted to see as we had a little bit of everything. The fun part about this kind of a mixtape is that you get a little something from all over the plat. You certainly got that here, with house show matches, TV matches and the rather hilarious Hardcore Title stuff. That’s the beauty of the Vaults and it was on full display again with these picks. More to come of course.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Sunday Night Slam
Date: August 21, 1994
Location: Beeghly Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

This is a special (part of a series) of hype shows before pay per views, Summerslam 1994 in this case. I’ve seen some of them before and they’re hit and miss to say the least, but this isn’t exactly from the best time in the company’s history. This isn’t exactly looking promising but I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jim Ross and Randy Savage welcome us to the show and run down the card, which is very 1994.

Lex Luger vs. Crush

They test the power to start as commentary says they aren’t sure if Luger has sold out to Ted DiBiase or not. Luger gets an early knockdown for two but Crush hits him in the ribs to cut that off. The piledriver is blocked though and Luger hammers away, followed by a running shoulder to send Crush outside.

They get back inside and Crush goes to the back to take over, setting up the camel clutch. Crush crashes down onto the back for two and the bearhug stays on the bad back. Cue Ted DiBiase at ringside to count money and Luger fights out. That earns him a gorilla press slam though and we take a break with Luger in big trouble.

We come back with Crush still on the back until a double should gives them a double down. DiBiase seems to be cheering for Luger, who gets up for the signature clothesline comeback. A powerslam and DDT (that’s a weird one for him) give Luger two but Crush superkicks him down. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Luger but DiBiase gets up on the apron to offer Crush money. Crush swats it away (seems kind of dumb) and the distraction lets Luger hit the forearm for the win at 15:58.

Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse, which is about as high as Luger was going to get in the WWF. His offense was just so basic and generic that there was nothing to get excited about when he was in the ring. He was living off that single bodyslam and the luster has worn very thin. At some point he needed to win something (other than tying for the Royal Rumble) and that hasn’t happened yet.

Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon are in the WWF Studios and talk about the disappearance of the Undertaker. We see Undertaker rising up through the screen at the Royal Rumble, with even Paul Bearer not being sure where he is. Then a bunch of people swore they saw Undertaker, which is one of the weirdest angles to build up a match that I can remember. This led to Ted DiBiase bringing back his version of the Undertaker, who was clearly not the real thing. Bearer realized it was a fake and is swearing that the real Undertaker will be back at Summerslam. This is still dumb and the match would be even worse.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid

Ted DiBiase is here with the villains. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid around a few times to start but Kid is back with the rapid fire kicks. A missed charge in the corner lets Kid fire off even more kicks to put him on the floor, where a big slingshot flip dive connects. IRS misses a charge at Holly and crashed to the floor, where Bigelow and IRS are rammed together.

Back in and Holly’s high crossbody gets two on Bigelow and we hit the armbar. Bigelow misses a headbutt so it’s off to IRS to slow things down (shocking I know). Holly gets two off a dropkick and it’s back to Kid, who is sent crashing out to the floor. A legdrop gives IRS two and we hit the chinlock. Bigelow comes in for a front facelock and a DDT gets two, leaving Bigelow shocked.

We flash back to the 70s as IRS hits an airplane spin for two and Bigelow grabs an Argentine backbreaker, albeit with Kid spun around in an opposite direction than usual. IRS drops an elbow to the elevated Kid as Savage sings Kid’s praises. The moonsault misses for Bigelow and it’s Holly coming back in to clean house. That lasts until a high crossbody is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam to give Bigelow the pin at 10:10.

Rating: B. The first two or so minutes of this show were as hot of a start of a tag match as I have seen in a very long time. They were all over the place and the fans were wanting to see the underdogs pull off a miracle. Throw in an airplane spin being used as something other than a comedy spot for the first time in forever and this was FAR better than I would have ever expected.

Leslie Nielsen is going to be at Summerslam to find the Undertaker.

And now, the Summerslam Report, which is, shockingly, about Summerslam. We run down the card and hear from Razor Ramon, who is ready to win the Intercontinental Title and has Walter Payton with him. Payton’s voice is not exactly intimidating.

Razor Ramon vs. Todd Becker

Ramon sends him flying to start and then grabs an abdominal stretch, followed by the weird STF variation. A belly to back suplex sets up the belly to back superplex, followed by the Razor’s Edge to complete the squash at 3:38.

Rating: C. This was about what you would have expected, as Ramon destroyed the jobber in short enough order. That’s a good enough way to get him heated up before he goes after the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam and I’ll take this over a dull match with IRS. If nothing else, it’s fun to see Ramon doing his cocky stuff, which he did so well.

Leslie Nielsen orders Domino’s and doesn’t realize the Undertaker delivered it.

Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (a baseball themed character) is on strike. End of character and storyline.

Bull Nakano vs. Heidi Lee Morgan

Luna Vachon is here with Nakano. Morgan gets an early rollup for two before Morgan takes her down with a short armscissors. Nakano powers out and works on the back, with a Boston crab making it worse. What would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock has Morgan tapping but that doesn’t mean anything in 1994 WWF. Nakano throws her outside for a ram into the steps from Vachon, followed by a seated abdominal stretch back inside. Morgan fights up and hits a dropkick but gets dropped with a hard suplex. The guillotine legdrop finishes Morgan at 7:28.

Rating: C. Well that was….lengthy. Morgan was a good example of why the division wasn’t working at this point. She was certainly trying in the ring and you could see that she knew what she was doing, but she felt like a relic from 1982 as one of Moolah’s old girls (and hey, she was one of them, albeit one who debuted in 1987). That’s not going to work in there with someone like Nakano, who was throwing out all kinds of crazy stuff for the time being. Morgan was absolutely not bad, but she’s not the kind of wrestler who was going to feel important at this point.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat (from Superstars, because doing this on the regular show would be putting in too much effort). Yes Owen Hart beat him at Wrestlemania, but this time it’s different with the title on the line. The entire Hart Family is going to be there and Owen was the one who wanted it to be in a cage.

Owen got his one win at Wrestlemania and maybe Bret was a bit distracted. Sure Owen has Jim Neidhart with him, and yes Neidhart is fat, but Bret forgot to mention that Neidhart is STUPID. Bret talks about looking through the bars of Owen’s crib as a child and laughing, which is what will happen at Summerslam. I’ve heard worse, but it would have been nice to hear it here, rather than from Superstars.

We get the still awesome Go Get Em Champ Bret Hart ad.

Typhoon vs. Diesel

Diesel’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Shawn Michaels is in Diesels’ corner. Diesel hammers away in the corner but Typhoon fights back with a rather easy slam. Back up and Diesel knocks him down, setting up the neck crank. Some boot choking in the corner has Typhoon in more trouble but he fights out rather well. The legdrop misses but Typhoon goes with the basics, meaning using his rather large stomach to crush Diesel in the corner. Diesel cuts off a charge with a boot though and finishes with a running clothesline at 4:58.

Rating: C-. When I saw this match advertised, it felt like something of a sick joke. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do with Typhoon, whose lone characteristic is “he’s big”. Diesel’s offense against him worked and they did what they could, but you know what you’re getting out of a Typhoon match and it isn’t very much.

Leslie Nielsen is going around the world to find the Undertaker.

Vince and Lawler don’t have much to say in the studio.

Undertaker vs. Sonny Rogers

Ted DiBiase is with the Undertaker, who grabs him by the face and chokes to start. The Tombstone finishes at 1:22.

Leslie Nielsen isn’t sure how there can be two Undertakers and then has a fake Leslie Nielsen arrested.

Apparently Vince and Lawler will be taking live fan calls as the show continues, though there don’t appear to be any more matches. This part isn’t included on the WWE Vault version and the show just ends.

Overall Rating: C. There’s a reason that Summerslam 1994 is not among your more remembered editions. The show was built around two matches and this show featured one of them in a squash and the other was a taped promo. Other than that, the highlight was a 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly match, even though neither of them are on Summerslam. Nothing to see here, and really not much of a special.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 3, 1995
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

It’s the night after Wrestlemania XI and the big story is that Diesel retained the WWF Title over Shawn Michaels. Other than that…well there’s a reason you don’t hear about Wrestlemania XI all that much. Ted DiBiase won’t be happy that Bam Bam Bigelow lost to Lawrence Taylor in the main event though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with some stills from last night’s bigger matches.

Opening sequence.

Jim Cornette is VERY happy to be managing the Tag Team Champions.

Bob Holly vs. Hakushi

The 1-2-3 Kid and Shinja are here too. Holly starts with the dropkicks and a hiptoss, which has Hakushi down again. Back up and Hakushi knocks him into the corner and avoids a high crossbody. Cue Owen Hart and Yokozuna to watch as we take a break. We come back with Hakushi working on the arm as the Kid and Hart get in a fight on the floor. Holly fights out and hits a top rope clothesline into another dropkick for two more. Yokozuna trips Holly down though and Hakushi nails a backsplash for the pin at 6:49.

Rating: C+. Not much to see here, but Hakushi was always worth at least a bit of a look. He was a different kind of star than someone you would see in the company around this time and he’s getting a chance to showcase himself. At the same time, even though he’s a champion, there is something strange about seeing Yokozuna go from being the World Champion last year to cheating to beat Bob Holly.

Jim Ross gives us one more Wrestlemania Report, which is little more than a recap of the main event. After the match, Bigelow said that he’s going to make the New Generation a better generation. We also look at Bret Hart beating Bob Backlund and Undertaker beating King Kong Bundy.

Here is Diesel for an in-ring chat. Diesel knows Shawn Michaels deserves a rematch and thinks Sid might have cost Michaels the match at Wrestlemania. The reality is that he and Michaels have been friends and Michaels can have a rematch anytime. Also, Michaels needs to know that Sid is NOT his friend. When it comes to the rematch, leave home without it.

Allied Powers vs. Well Dunn

Well pounds on Bulldog to start but the Powers hit press slams and clotheslines to clear the ring. Luger headlocks Well but Well Dunn is back with a Beverly Bomb to slow Luger down. Back up and Luger gets in another clothesline, allowing the tag off to Bulldog. Everything breaks down and a Hart Attack (forearm version) finishes Dunn at 3:43.

Rating: D. And you wonder why Luger was gone in just a few months. He could not seem to care any less if he was trying here and while that’s not exactly stunning given the competition, dang it’s rough to watch. At least the Powers’ finisher was good, though that’s about all there was to be seen here.

The Wrestlemania celebrities had fun.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano is defending and starts fast with a dropkick into a hair toss from one corner to another. Something like an ankle lock keeps Blayze in trouble but she fights up and hits a spinwheel kick. The middle rope dropkick gives Blayze two but Nakano sits down on a sunset flip attempt for two of her own. Nakano grabs something similar to Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock before a piledriver gets another near fall.

Blayze knocks her outside for a big dive but Nakano gets in another knockdown back inside. The guillotine legdrop gives Nakano two but the bridging German suplex gives Blayze the same. Nakano shoves her outside but misses a dive, only to send Blayze into the steps. The moonsault misses though and Blayze grabs another German suplex for the pin and the title at 6:45.

Rating: C+. As has been the case far too often before, there is only so much that you can get out of a match without much time. They were going for something a bit more epic here and that didn’t work with less than seven minutes. These two worked well together and have had some far better matches, but this felt like something of an aftermath.

Post match Blayze celebrates but a mystery woman attacks her.

Men On A Mission vs. Ben Jordan/Tony Roy

This is the evil Men On A Mission and they waste no time in clearing the ring to start. And they waste no time in clearing the ring. Mo stomps away in the corner and Mabel hits a belly to belly to finish Roy at 1:47.

You could win a house at In Your House!

Here are Shawn Michaels and Sid for a chat. Michaels’ back is killing him but he knows that there is nothing more important than the WWF Title. Therefore he would love to accept Diesel’s offer of a rematch and he can live his life just fine without a bodyguard. He certainly doesn’t need a bodyguard who causes a referee to twist his ankle and cost him the WWF Title. Sid isn’t happy and goes off on Michaels as we take a break. We come back with Sid having laid Michaels out (off camera of course) and Diesel running in for the save. And that’s how Shawn Michaels turned good.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite what you would expect from a Raw After Wrestlemania, but the Shawn deal in the end was a good way to go and felt important. Other than that you had the title change, but the wrestling itself was hardly inspiring. That’s 1995 in a nutshell, as a few people are carrying the show and the other people just kind of exist.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 1994
Location: Beeghly Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We are on the way to Summerslam and that means the big stories are Bret Hart vs. Owen hart and Undertaker vs. Maybe Undertaker. One of these feuds is a bit better than the other and I’ll let you figure out which is which. Other than that, Vince McMahon’s steroids trial is FINALLY over and somehow he escaped. I wonder how much that will be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, including the ladder match from earlier this year. Diesel is facing Ramon at Summerslam, but tonight it’s Ramon vs. Shawn.

Razor and Shawn are ready for each other.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Savage welcome us to the show, with Savage making it clear that Vince is COMPLETELY exonerated. Just in case there was any doubt you see.

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Intercontinental Champion Diesel is here with Shawn and it’s almost weird to see these two having a regular match. They take turns missing each other to start until Shawn takes him down and walks over his back. That earns him a heck of a right hand and a big whip over the corner to the floor. Back in and Shawn dives into a fall away slam for two, setting up the armbar.

Shawn fights up and chokes a bit in the corner before a dropkick gets two. The chinlock goes on for a good while until Razor fights up. Another dropkick doesn’t work so well for Shawn, as Razor catches the legs and catapults him over the top and down onto Diesel (in a great visual).

We take a break and come back with Razor grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shawn goes to the eye for the escape. The big backdrop sends Shawn flying again as commentary makes fun of the Goodwill Games. Razor grabs the bearhug for a good bit until Shawn elbows his way out. Shawn’s back is still banged up though and Razor slaps it right back on. With Shawn escaping for good, they hit the pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Shawn throwing him over the top.

Diesel gets in a clothesline on the floor as we take a break. Back with Diesel throwing Shawn back inside so Shawn can hit a jumping back elbow for two more. The sleeper puts Razor down for two arm drops until the traditional belly to back suplex to escape. Back up and Razor puts him on top for the belly to back superplex, which is broken up just as fast. Shawn’s high crossbody gets two and the superkick (still not a big deal) gets the same.

With nothing else working, Shawn tries a Razor’s Edge of his own but gets backdropped without much trouble. Diesel gets up for a distraction so Shawn can grab the title, which doesn’t go right either. A second distraction, this time in the form of a big boot, does work though and Shawn grabs a rollup (with trunks of course) for the pin at 25:02.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah this worked, even though I spent most of the match looking around for the ladders. It’s another great example of letting talented wrestlers go out there and do their thing, especially when they’re motivated and showing chemistry. This is quite the hidden gem as you always hear about the ladder matches but they tore the house down with an awesome regular match instead. Check this one out if you get the chance.

Post match the beatdown is on until the referees make the save.

We get the Summerslam Report featuring Todd Pettengill. Some matches for the card are listed off, with Todd thinking Razor Ramon will need some backup for his Intercontinental Title shot against Diesel. Just a thought of course.

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Blayze’s Women’s Title isn’t on the line and Luna Vachon is here with the debuting Nakano. Blayze kicks away to start but gets taken down with one heck of a hair toss. A powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Blayze two and a spinning kick to the face drops Nakano again. As commentary make fun of Nakano’s looks, she grabs a chinlock to keep Blayze down.

A piledriver gives Nakano two as she pulls Blayze up. Nakano powerbombs her for two more as commentary isn’t sure what to make of this. Blayze gets two off a sunset flip and she gets away from the guillotine legdrop. Blayze’s German suplex gets two (Savage says no one has ever kicked out of it before) and she dropkicks Nakano off the top to the floor. One heck of a dive to the floor takes Nakano down again but she posts Blayze hard. The brawl takes them to a double countout at 5:31.

Rating: B. This was a FIGHT and one of the best women’s matches you will see in the company to date. It’s amazing what happens when you give Blayze, who was a lot better in the ring than she was given credit for being, someone who can wrestle with any of them rather than the goofy old school stuff. I got way into this one and there’s a reason why this feud is still talked about to this day.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Bob Backlund as the special guest. Hold on though, as we first have a guy propose to his girlfriend in the crowd. Lawler isn’t impressed and mocks them both, but we’ll get the answer later. Apparently later means after the break, with the woman in the ring (and the guy in the crowd). First though, Lawler has a few questions/jokes and she finally says yes.

Lawler kisses her (the guy is mad) and then she leaves so here is Backlund for his interview. Actually make that the REIGNING WWF Champion Bob Backlund, as he never lost the title. Backlund talks about how he tried to help people throughout his career and his hiatus from wrestling. People have changed in those last ten years and he is very disappointed. Savage thinks Backlund has an attitude problem as he insists that he never gave up in 1983, so he is STILL the champion.

As commentary talks over Backlund, we see….nothing different, as Lawler talks about beating Bret Hart in the middle of the ring. Backlund calls Hart part of a horrible society as we go to a clip of Backlund snapping on Hart after their match. This was all over the place, as the proposal was long and commentary wouldn’t shut up as Backlund talked.

Smoking Gunns vs. George Anderson/Tom Bennet

Joined in progress with Anderson coming in and getting kicked in the ribs by Bart. Billy drops a knee and we take a break, coming back with Billy hitting a dropkick setting up the Sidewinder for the pin at 5:24. We didn’t even see two minutes of the match but we did get more of Savage praising Vince’s legal team.

They’re off the air literally five seconds after the match is over.

Overall Rating: B+. Until the goofy Lawler stuff, this was looking to be an all time episode and certainly one of the best of this era. The first half of the show is an awesome match and the second match is very good in its own right. If you ignore it coming to a screeching halt with the proposal and the incredibly squeezed in (and nothing) tag match, it’s a classic. Check out that opener and the women’s match if it’s your thing, as they’re both worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.

We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.

On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

Everyone brawls up the aisle.

We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.

WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.

Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.

Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.

Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.

The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.

Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.

The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.

Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.

Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.

Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.

Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.

A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.

Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.

The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.

We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.

Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.

Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.

Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49^th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.

They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.

There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.

Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.

Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.

Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.

Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.

Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Well, where to begin with the changes? For one, Bret is the WWF Champion and is in the middle of his epic reign with it which would end two months later at the hands of…technically Owen Hart but Backlund got the title in one of the oddest choices ever. Your double main event here is Hart vs. Hart and Taker vs. Taker. Yeah, Taker got….he got….well he got something at the Rumble and hasn’t been seen since.
This became a comedy storyline to an extent with Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Gun movies being brought in because there had been Taker sightings. A new Undertaker had been brought in by DiBiase and of course was evil. Aside from those two matches, I remember nothing at all about this show. It’s these two matches or nothing here, so let’s get to them, and hopefully some other stuff that’s worth watching on the card as well.

Macho Man opens the show. Wait what? How long was he there anyway? I know he was at Starrcade 94 and had a bit of a build up to his appearance there, so this must have been one of his very last appearances. He uses a line from All About Eve which makes me smile. He throws it to Vince and Jerry so this was really just to get the crowd into the show.

Ah apparently this is his last WWF appearance. We’re told that there are new tag champions which I guess happened at a house show. Might help if I told you who the new champions are. It’s Shawn and Diesel. We run down the card and mention that Davey Boy is there in the crowd. Remember that as it plays a roll later one.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Headshrinkers

The Headshrinkers are the team that lost the tag belts, so I guess this was going to be a title match coming into this show? We’re getting more towards the modern look of the arena here as we have the lights in the shapes of dollar signs and the opening doors to the arena. This is part of the Million Dollar Team which is the original Cabinet but much better. Vince confirms that this was supposed to be a title match but now is non title which sucks for the heels.

I always like the Headshrinkers for some reason. When they were being built up as the top face team they worked like few others. Lou Albano is managing them now as this guy is the king of tag champions for some reason. They’re wearing crowns that look like Native American headdresses for some reason. Bigelow of course would soon be starting up the feud with LT that would just suck so heavily, making the 11th Mania perhaps the worst of all time. The Samoans are quite over here.

Fatu would of course later become known as Rikishi, the thong wearing, dancing Samoan. Bigelow would of course become IC’s porn. Faces are completely dominating for the majority of this match, which leads me to believe they’ll wind up losing. Of course as soon as I type that the Corporation takes over.

This lasts about a minute as the faces are in control again. Eventually they hit their double stroke and top rope splash move but it turns into a big fight with Afa beating up Bam Bam. It’s a DQ win for the heels (called it) and all four brawl up the aisle. Vince doesn’t understand why that’s the decision.

Rating: C+. It’s not bad, but it felt like it was in fast forward. Nothing was given time to develop which I guess is what an opener should be. This was fun I’d say, although me liking the Headshrinkers has a lot to do with that more than likely.

We go to the back where Leslie Nielsen is on the Undertaker’s Trail. There’s even a sign saying Undertaker’s Trail and an arrow. We can also hear his thoughts as he narrates. He runs into one of his co-stars who looks like Taker in the dark and they stand on a case, followed by them arguing over which of them is on the case. This is dumber than it sounds.

Razor says he’s getting the IC title back from Diesel. Walter Payton is going to be with him for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blaze vs. Bull Nakano

Ok, Blaze is more commonly known as Madusa so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as partially. Nakano is a Japanese wrestler who is apparently a big deal over there. She comes out with Luna to Orient Express’ old music. This is the original women’s title, which is one of the biggest jokes in the history of wrestling, but in a way caused the Montreal Screwjob.

The division was a flat out waste as Blaze was the only woman that ever did anything with it, mainly as she was one of the few American women that could wrestle in the company. Anyway, she was champion for just about ever until she bailed for WCW. She’s the one that dropped the belt in the trash on live TV and made Vince paranoid to the point that he was afraid Bret would do the same thing with the WWF Title.

Anyway, you know the rest and here were are with the title match that no one cared about and most won’t today. Nakano just wasn’t someone that Americans cared about and got the same treatment that Chono and Muta got in WCW: Great workers, but no one cared at all. Nakano probably weighs about 200 pounds or so. Her hair is about a foot tall. There’s a Y in Blaze but I’m sick of the red lines under it.

This match is pretty bad. The problem simply was that women’s wrestling was somehow less serious back then than it is now. Blaze would be barely above an average worker in today’s product, but back then she was Trish and Lita rolled into one.

This is just not that interesting as it’s sloppy and your stereotypical women’s match in a lot of ways, from hair throws to poor execution. It’s ok I guess, but it’s really not that great. Blaze hits some bad looking takedowns before dodging the top rope leg and hitting the German suplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It wasn’t that great but it wasn’t that terrible. The women’s division was just horrid back then and part of the reason was there wasn’t enough talent to warrant a whole division. Blaze was a pioneer for the division but there were far more talented workers later on.

Diesel and Shawn are with Todd, talking about their title win and then the IC Title match tonight. Diesel was actually quite good on the mic.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Diesel is champion here which is a very forgotten reign, especially since he’d get the world title in about three months. For some reason Shawn is introduced after Diesel is, despite him accompanying Diesel to the ring. Crowd pops like a coconut for Razor, as I still don’t get why he never got a short run with the world title. Yet again, a face befriends a local sports legend. Razor is wearing sky blue boots, which he can actually work I think.

The good thing about Razor here is that he’s a big guy so he can wrestle with big guys but he has the speed tactics here to counter Diesel, which makes this a very interesting match in my eyes. This is pretty standard yet solid fare here as Razor starts out hot and fast with Diesel eventually taking over with slower power moves which work very well for him. I still don’t get the point in Walter being there but that’s just me.

Shawn gets involved and helps beat on Razor as the football legend is still rather worthless in this match other than for moral support which is worthless of course. Shawn and Diesel combine to get the buckle exposed and ram Razor’s back into it. Jerry asks why Payton is there and is ignored. That’s a funny thing to me as even Vince has no idea but just won’t admit it. Walter has of course done nothing to counter Shawn this whole time.

We get a short comeback from Razor but it’s nothing of note really, which makes me wonder why I’m noting it here. Correction it’s a decent one as he throws those great right hands of his. After Shawn keeps getting involved and the referee keeps going after Walter, Shawn goes for the IC belt and he and Walter fight over it. Shawn loses the tug of war and goes for the kick. Of course it misses and Razor pins Diesel for the belt.

This would happen again and would result in Diesel and Shawn splitting, leading to Diesel taking the world title in November. Payton joins in celebrating despite doing jack. Diesel stalks Shawn up the ramp. Oh good grief Walter’s son is there too. Why not his old roommate while we’re at it?

Rating: B-. I’m sorry Chicago residents/Bears fans, but Payton was worthless in this. He’s an amazing running back and a great man, but there was no need to have him here. Put 1-2-3 Kid there or something, but not a football player with no connection to the match at all. Match itself was fine though as these two have that natural chemistry together. Fun match but Payton hurt things in my eyes.

We go to Macho who says nothing of note at all.

Vince recaps what we just saw, which shows Walter talking to the referee while Shawn is getting ready to kick Razor. Ok, that means one of two things. Razor slipping out was pre-planned or Walter is a freaking moron that will let his buddy get kicked. Yeah, great move there.

We go to the back with Diesel saying he’s mad at Shawn for costing him the belt and saying that Payton wasn’t even an issue. Shawn says it’s ok and he’ll get Diesel out of this.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Oh I had forgotten about this. This was actually a really well done story in my eyes. Here’s the idea: Luger and Tatanka are feuding with DiBiase’s team. Luger is constantly being offered a spot on the team for a big amount of money but he always turns it down. Things of course start looking like he took the money but never completely. Tatanka and everyone else is convinced that Luger is guilty, so the two of them are having this match here in which Luger allegedly will show that he sold out.

This was drawn out and really well built up to the point that we were believing Lex was evil now, when I think the real answer is pretty obvious. DiBiase keeps doing all kinds of things to imply that Luger has sold out including helping him win a match and DiBiase going into Luger’s locker room. Luger continues saying that DiBiase can do all kinds of things but Luger has never done anything wrong, which is very true.

Luger gets a somewhat mixed reaction, being about 70-30 for the face pop. The cheers are louder, but the booing is there. DiBiase isn’t there either, which is a point of interest I guess. He hits the corner and the boos are MUCH louder now. Bell rings and they’re arguing over whether or not he sold out. The whole point of this is waiting on DiBiase to come out and help Lex and the match is just kind of meandering along which isn’t good at all as it makes the match boring. You need a good match to go with a good story to make something really successful and this isn’t doing it. It’s ok, but just ok.

Finally DiBiase comes out with a big bag full of money. As Luger is looking at him and the money, Tatanka rolls him up for the pin. Post match, Luger goes after DiBiase and Tatanka attacks him, turning heel and legitimately surprising a lot of the fans. The heels hug and the fans are LIVID.

Tatanka beats the tar out of Lex and leaves with Ted, but turns around to beat on Lex some more. He puts the Million Dollar Dream on him to put Luger to sleep and follows with the ultimate humiliation of putting the money in his mouth. Why that is humiliating I have no idea but it looks awesome.

Rating: C-. This is a great example of the angle being far better than the match. The match was pretty bad but the angle was excellent. This was a total swerve and while it’s clear it was going to happen now, it was really well done at the time. The match sucked but the angle makes up for it.

We’ve only got three matches left, so this one is yours. Why this took place is beyond me. At the end you get a sample of the brilliant comedy that the company had going for it at the time.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is filler on the second biggest show of the year. This was a rather bad time if you didn’t get that. Well that’s not really fair as there was filler at almost any show back in the day. Vince says he’s a fan of good rap. Therefore he’s not a fan of Oscar and Mabel. Jarrett won’t shake his hand to start us off. Nice old school heel work there.

Mabel does Jarrett’s strut which isn’t bad. Basic story here as Jarrett can’t fight him at all due to the gravitational force of Mabel’s gut sucking the good out of this match. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and then Mable eats post. Jarrett just tries to get Mabel down and of course nothing works until Jarrett gets pulled out of the air when attempting a top rope double axe.

Sleeper goes on and Mabel does his stupid falling kick thing. Knuckleball Schwartz (and mine is bigger than his) is on strike. Ok then. Jarrett, like an idiot, goes after Oscar for fun and gets crushed for his troubles. Middle rope splash misses Jeff. Mabel misses a sit down drop and Jeff actually gets the pin. I’m at a loss for words to describe how much of a waste of time this was.

Rating: D-. Just a totally pointless match here as they made no secret at all of there being no need for this match. Basic big vs. little guy here as nothing of note was going on here at all. Get on to something else please.

The detectives are in the arena and Taker’s silhouette is behind them. I really hate this show.

We get a long buildup package on Bret vs. Owen which was very well done, especially the masterful jobs from Survivor Series and Mania, which was the absolute classic that was Bret vs. Owen. Owen’s heel work in this was absolutely masterful. This was built up for nearly a year and is one of the best feuds that I can ever remember. I’m enjoying looking back at this as it really was well done and you could feel the tension here.

Owen pinning Bret clean at Mania was mind blowing at the time and still is to this day. Bret’s old partner Neidhart has joined up with Owen as well which makes thing even more amazing. The beauty in having Owen win was that it made you believe he could do it for the title here tonight. That’s a great bonus and it makes matches better and more believable. Bruce, their brother, went off on him, while wearing a leather jacket.

Did Stu make his fortune as a leather tanner or something? Owen did a promo in the cage about a week before which was great. I know this is long but the recap is about 10 minutes long. Stu and Helen are interviewed at ringside which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. Helen sounds typical but Stu sounds very odd indeed. Not how I imagined it, but the man is an absolute legend and one of the few people who played a big role in shaping the business into what it is today.

I can’t think of anyone that’s trained more stars than he has. Davey says that he wouldn’t want to be in the ring with Bret tonight. Neidhart is there too and he’s an Owen supporter. This is really intricate and intense and is one heck of a story if I do say so myself. I’m hyped for this match and I’ve seen it probably 8 times.

Bret is apparently getting over strep throat. I’ve had that about 30 times and if you’ve never had it, consider yourself lucky. It’s misery. Bret says he doesn’t hate Owen but he does hate Neidhart because Jim made Owen jealous in the first place. He says this ends tonight.

WWF Title: Cage Match-Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Since I’ve explained the story pretty well, I’ll spare you another retelling of it. Owen’s heel music owned. Bret’s face music owned. Sweet goodness this match rocks in all areas. Never marked out for a Bret match before but I am on this one. In a nice touch, Owen’s name graphic doesn’t show up until he’s in the cage and Bret’s music is playing, almost like he’s a jobber. The bell rings and we’re off immediately.

For some reason we have no commentary at the beginning. Ah there it is. I’m watching this on my laptop and the audio is the kind where half is in one ear and the rest is in the other on my headphones. The referee is outside which is a good thing to me. That enziguri from Owen just never gets old. They’re starting out really slowly which is also good as they’re not going for broke immediately but rather telling a story out there.

Both go for the quick exit very early on which is a nice touch. Owen wants to beat Bret and Bret just wants to end this as the title is secondary to him. We get a really good camera shot from over the corner of the cage. That’s a unique shot that’s cool looking. Owen lands a dropkick and then a nip up before literally diving at the cage wall, desperate to get out. This is just hilarious looking but at the same time you can see how desperate Owen is to win here.

That’s yet another nice little touch. It’s the little things like that which can make a match great as they show that the workers are thinking and not just wrestling. They’ve been going about 10 minutes so far and it’s pretty even at this point. Pretty sure this is escape only which is what a cage match should be. Screw that pinning and submission nonsense.

Lawler keeps trying to play up Bulldog vs. Hart from 92 but Vince says that it means nothing, which is true as they were friendly afterwards, especially since Davey was gone for a long period of that. The good thing about this match is that it’s not about the cage but about the wrestlers and the cage is more of a prop. That’s always better. This is a ton of last second saves and close calls which keeps the fans on their toes.

They trade sharpshooters as I’m very close to the end of the match and I have nothing to make fun of here as it’s a great match. They chase each other up the cage but Owen’s leg gets tied up and Bret drops down to keep the title. Post match, Neidhart jumps the rail and beats on Bret for a bit before taking him back inside the cage and locking the door.

We then get the siege of the cage as all of the Harts try to get in before Smith goes up the cage and knocks Owen off. This takes like 4 minutes to finally accomplish which actually is kind of a cool looking sight. Finally Smith runs the heels off. They help Bret to his feet before we go to the back to talk to Owen.

Rating: A. This was a great cage match as there’s the natural chemistry and rivalry there, and if you give these two thirty plus minutes, are you expecting anything less than greatness?

Owen and Neidhart are in the back as Owen talks about how only Bret ever got cared about and how Jim was his best friend. It’s better than it sounds.

Recap of Taker vs. Taker. Short version, Taker disappeared after the Rumble to heal an injury and hadn’t been seen since. He returned but he was different, controlled by DiBiase. This was actually Brian Lee who was Chainz in the DOA in a few years. We get testimonials from regular people, making this seem like Elvis sightings. I refuse to believe that these people are wrestling fans.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

DiBiase brings out the fake one and then Fink says that his opponent is the one and only Undertaker. We get a casket rolled out as well as this entrance is just taking too long. The casket is opened and inside is a huge urn. Bearer takes it into the ring and actually opens it, revealing….a really powerful flashlight. This goes on for several minutes as I’m pretty bored. This somehow triggers Taker to appear and walk down the ramp.

When I say walk, I mean move…..kind of. Fake Taker looks to weigh about 340. While this is kind of a cool moment, Bret and Owen should have closed the show. It’s not that bad though and it could have gone over far worse. Real Taker is in purple and fake is in gray. Real even throws out a leap frog that is amazing to see when you think about it.

The crowd is still popping but so much of their emotion was taken out of them by the previous match that it’s just hard for them to get hyped here, and I can’t blame them. This is a cool idea, but it just shouldn’t have gone last. This is pretty basic for the most part. Real leads for the early part, fake takes over and dominates the majority, standard Taker comeback with three tombstones to get the emphatic win for the real Deadman.

The count is slower than the walk that got him there though which is odd. Ted is ran off as Taker poses like crazy to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we throw it to Macho to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we go to the detectives in the back who open Taker’s casket to find nothing. Then one finds a briefcase which is closed. “The case is closed!” We go off the air like that. When I was a kid I never got that joke and it’s still awful today.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but it shouldn’t have gone last. At least we got a decent moment to end on with the real Taker standing tall, or in his case kneeling moderate. The comedy thing was just a waste as they never even interact with Taker, but that’s a good thing.

Overall Rating: C-. This really is just a one match show as the rest is just pretty silly. Luger and Tatanka’s angle is great, the cage match is excellent, and that’s about it. The comedy thing with the detectives was just flat out stupid on all levels and I certainly could have done without it.

They’re on screen all of 3 minutes and they have nothing but sight gags and dumb moments. I didn’t get the point back then and I don’t now. There’s nothing much to this show other than the cage, so I’d say find a copy of that and the buildup and other than that, go watch a better show as this isn’t that good.

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Hog Wild
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the more unique shows that you’ll see as we are outside in front of a bunch of bikers. I’m sure they will be a completely acceptable crowd with no problems or distractions whatsoever. We’re also just into the NWO era and Hollywood Hogan is getting the World Title shot against the Giant. Let’s get to it.

Of note: there were EIGHT Saturday Night matches before the pay per view went on the air, so the bikers might be a little bit sick of wrestling already.

We open with a look at the Sturgis Rally, with no matches mentioned whatsoever.

Tony, Dusty and Bobby…..are dressed in biker gear with more jokes available than I can possibly fathom.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Dragon (it says Ultimate everywhere else so that’s what we’ll go with) is challenging and has Sonny Onoo with him. Tony asks Bobby where his tattoo and dew rag are and I begin to have nightmares. Thankfully Mike Tenay joins commentary to tell us that this is the first ever meeting. Dragon takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled into a leglock. Back up and Dragon gets in a shot of his own for a breather into a standoff.

A spinwheel kick drops Rey, sending Dusty into one of his funny rants about move names. Neither can hit a headscissors and we have another standoff. A spinning kick to the chest drops Rey again and there’s the handspring elbow in the corner. The running Liger Bomb doesn’t even get a cover as Dragon grabs a Figure Four of all things instead. With that broken up, Dragon hits his spinning torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker, followed by the surfboard.

Heenan makes jokes about Cesar Romero and Desi Arnaz as Rey gets out and hits a springboard dropkick out to the floor. There’s a baseball slide to knock Dragon off the platform into the dirt, with Rey hitting a HUGE springboard dive (with the camera mostly missing it) to take him down again.

Back in and a springboard hurricanrana keeps the crowd popped but another springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Rey is knocked outside so Dragon hits a slingshot dive to take him down again. They head back inside with Dragon hitting a moonsault for two but Rey catches him on top with a super hurricanrana to retain at 11:36.

Rating: B-. It’s a good opener and both of them would go on to be able to do some far better stuff, but this wasn’t exactly the blowaway match I was expecting. They did their high flying stuff but Rey didn’t really go nuts and Dragon was more about striking and grappling than high flying. What they did worked well enough though, including managing to impress a non-wrestling crowd.

Gene Okerlund, also looking like a….well what WCW thinks a biker looks like, shills the Hotline.

We talk about the rally some more.

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

They used to be partners as Fire & Ice but then split up. I like Ice Train but is there a reason his name sounds like a Mad Lib? Train also has a bad shoulder coming in to give Norton a target. Norton powers him into the corner to start and chops at the bandaged shoulder, showing that he is at least moderately intelligent. The slugout goes to Norton, who cuts him down with another shot to the shoulder. A rake to the eyes and some more shots to the face send Train outside, where the shoulder is sent into the post.

Back in and Train manages a slam with the good arm. Since it’s just a slam though, Norton chops him down again and cranks on the arm. Train gets up and actually drops Norton with some chops but Norton does it a good bit better. The armbar goes on and Norton drops a leg on the arm to make it even worse. Back up and Norton charges into a powerslam for two but he’s fine enough to hit a clothesline. A Fujiwara armbar makes Train give it up at 5:07.

Rating: D. The match made sense but it wasn’t quite the most thrilling thing in the world. Train had a bad shoulder so Norton went after it over and over. That should be an easy way to go, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chops. Not a very good match, though who was expecting much out of the battle of Fire and Ice?

We get a video from Ric Flair, talking about how serious the NWO is now that they took out Arn Anderson. That is Flair’s best friend, and WCW is his other best friend. The NWO is in trouble now because the Horsemen are involved. That should have been the easiest idea in all of WCW and they managed to screw it up.

Hey look: bikers!

You can get Hog Wild merch!

Madusa vs. Bull Nakano

This is Bike vs. Bike, with the winner getting to destroy the loser’s motorcycle. Wouldn’t that make either winner a heel for this crowd? Nakano’s manager Sonny Onoo and Madusa ride in on the motorcycles, leaving Nakano to just look scary. Nakano jumps her fast with a nunchuck and Dusty LOSES IT over the attack.

Madusa gets bent around the middle rope and a double ax handle to the back puts her down. The USA chants start up and Madusa grabs a chair takedown. Nakano is right back with what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock, followed by a hard slam. We hit the chinlock as commentary talks about how strong Nakano is.

Back up and Madusa snaps off a hurricanrana for two and a spinwheel kick to the face gets the same. Another kick misses and Nakano blasts her with a clothesline for two of her own. Madusa’s bridging German suplex gets two more and Nakano hits something similar for the same. A not great looking sunset flip gives Madusa the next near(ish) fall but Nakano grabs the belly to back suplex, with only Madusa getting her shoulder up for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. They were bringing the power game here and it was miles ahead of anything else women were doing in America at this point. The problem was the sloppiness in some points (including the ending), but given the atmosphere they were working in, there was only so much you could expect. Still though, rather hard hitting match as you would have expected.

Post match Sonny Onoo grabs the sledgehammer to go after Madusa’s bike. This goes as well as you would expect it to, as Madusa takes it away and destroys Nakano’s bike instead.

The Steiners are chatting on CompuServe. I don’t think Rick Steiner knows what he is doing.

Commentary thinks we’re going to Gene Okerlund. We’re not going to Gene Okerlund.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Jimmy Hart tries to come out with Dean Malenko, who isn’t interested. Benoit on the other hand has Woman and Elizabeth with him. They jaw with each other a bit to start until Malenko takes him down and hammers away. Benoit kicks him in the ribs to take over but Malenko gets in some boots of his own. A suplex gets two and we hit an early chinlock as Heenan goes into some weird analogy about birds. Benoit fights up and chokes on the rope as Tony has to bring commentary back to the match from their NWO discussion.

A back elbow gives Benoit a few near falls and they go to the pinfall reversal sequence. Malenko wins the battle over a backslide for two as Woman screams a lot. The short armscissors has Benoit down but he muscles Malenko up and drops him down for the break. There’s the snap suplex for two as the fans do not exactly seem thrilled. An abdominal stretch goes on but Malenko grabs the foot to escapes and flips him over.

Commentary talks about how we are coming up on a new millennium and these two could be the future. Eh kind of with one of them. Back up and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown to get a breather. Malenko goes up but gets knocked out of the air, setting up another snap suplex. The Swan Dive gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time to fight over a Tombstone until Malenko plants him for a few near falls.

Benoit charges into a boot in the corner but is fine enough to counter a Texas Cloverleaf attempt into a small package for two. They fall out to the floor in a double heap with Malenko blocking a posting by hitting one of his own and it’s time to go back inside. Benoit catches him on top with a heck of a superplex and they’re both down again. Malenko hits a release German suplex for two more as the fans (or more like people who happen to be here) just do not care.

A hard clothesline gives Malenko two as Heenan tries to figure out how many holds Malenko knows (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background taking notes). Benoit slams him down and grabs the Liontamer (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background furiously taking notes) but Malenko makes the rope. A victory roll gives Malenko two and another backslide gets another two. Benoit runs him over for two more but Malenko catches him on top for a superplex. There’s a powerbomb to Benoit but time expires at 20:00.

Actually hang on as we’re going to get a five minute overtime, which the bikers DO NOT like. Benoit jumps Malenko at the start of overtime and grabs the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring. After over a minute, Benoit lets it go, which seems rather unlike him. Malenko’s leg is done so Benoit kicks away and cranks on said leg on the mat. Some Ric Flair Cannonballs onto the leg set up another hold but Malenko reverses into a cradle as overtime expires.

We get ANOTHER five minute overtime and the bikers boo this out the non-existent building. Malenko snaps off a dragon screw legwhip but Benoit is back up with the dragon suplex for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and gets Cloverleafed, with Malenko switching it into an STF. Woman tries to help Benoit make the rope so Malenko goes after her, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup for the pin at 28:13. The replay shows him grabbing the rope for a bonus, because he is in fact a Horseman.

Rating: B+. You can go a few different ways with the thinking here. On the one hand, it’s a great match with two guys going at it for the better part of half an hour in a pretty bad spot. On the other hands, the fans didn’t care and the wrestlers failed to get over. There might be something to the latter, but consider the situation these guys were in.

These bikers didn’t pay to see a wrestling show. They’re here to see Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage and people from the WWF ten years ago. Benoit and Malenko are small guys they’ve never seen before and don’t care about having a pretty long match. You’re supposed to make the fans happy, but I’m not sure if these people qualify as fans as much as they are just people watching the matches because they’re there. This match was great though so I’ll go with the “these bikers are pinheads” and move on.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Harlem Heat, with Sheri and Colonel Parker, is defending and the fans do not seem thrilled with them. Everyone stalls for a good bit to start as commentary talks about the NWO. Scott and Booker officially start, with the latter being honked at a lot. The bikers go so nuts that Booker bails to the floor before coming back in to shove Scott for the first contact nearly two and a half minutes in.

Scott isn’t having that and hits a butterfly powerbomb, followed by a quick suplex so the Steiners can clear the ring in a hurry. Back in and Scott shoulders Booker down and a gorilla press makes it worse. The ten right hands in the corner rock Booker and he bails to the floor for another breather. This time it’s Stevie coming in to hammer on Scott, which actually works this time.

Scott runs Stevie over with ease, allowing the tag to Rick for a chinlock. Stevie gets up so Rick Steiner Lines him back down as this is totally one sided so far. A rake to the eyes into a side slam drops Scott as Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown. That is only going to get worse as Scott hits a spinning belly to belly for two more. Rick comes back in for a suplex of his own and a “SHUT UP B****” to Sherri. Stevie gets in a cheap shot from the apron to finally slow the Steiners down for a bit.

A clothesline sets up a chinlock but Rick pops up for his weird powerslam. That’s enough to bring Scott back in for an STF of all things before Rick comes back in for his own chinlock. Stevie fights up though and Booker low bridges him down to the floor to really put Rick in trouble for a change. Back in and Booker’s side kick only crotches him on top but Stevie makes the fast save. Stevie comes in to strike and choke away, followed by a big boot to put Rick down again.

It starts getting dark so the lights come on, meaning more engine revving as Booker grabs a chinlock. Rick fights up so it’s a Spinarooni into a side kick for no cover, with Dusty kind of complaining without actually saying anything negative (as Dusty tended to do). Booker misses a middle rope knee though and Rick makes the easy tag to Scott. Everything breaks down and Parker throws powder in Booker’s face by mistake. Since she seems to know Parker is a moron, Sherri is right there to throw it in Scott’s eyes as well. A cane shot to the head is enough to finish Scott at 17:53.

Rating: C. This was a longer match and that was both a good and a bad thing. The Steiners were both getting a bit slower at this point, with Scott being so muscular he looked like a cartoon. That does not make for better long form matches, though a major title match should get the extra time. It also didn’t help that the Steiners dominated for so long, but I could watch the Steiners throw people around for hours at a time, making it a rather enjoyable domination. In other words, I’m all over the place on this one and we’ll go with right in the middle.

Heenan sounds a bit, ahem, out of it on the replays. Wouldn’t surprise me actually.

Here’s a look at wrestlers on motorcycles.

Here’s a look at the rally.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is defending. They fight over a lockup into the corner until Eddie knocks him outside in a hurry. Back in and Eddie grabs a headlock but Flair belly to back suplexes him down with a weird landing, possibly hanging up Eddie’s arm. Eddie comes back in and gets dropped again, only to nip right back up. Flair’s poke to the eye and chop put Eddie down again as the sun is starting to set.

Back up and some rapid fire shots rock Flair in the corner and Eddie rains down some right hands. Flair gets tossed outside and a running clothesline puts him on the floor again. Back in and Woman offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow, allowing Heenan to make a chili joke. Eddie’s sunset flip doesn’t work so he grabs a Figure Four to put Flair in some trouble. That’s broken up so Eddie runs up the ropes into a hurricanrana for two more.

Flair goes up and comes crashing back down to give Eddie another near fall. The second sunset flip attempt (thanks to Flair’s trunks coming down and a kick from the referee) is good for two so Eddie goes up top. The frog splash connects but Eddie bangs up his knee, meaning it’s time for the regular Flair selection. Flair grabs the Figure Four and, thanks to Woman grabbing Flair’s hands, Eddie is pinned at 14:29.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to be good. Eddie was nowhere near the star he would become but you could see the abilities in the ring. You could see that Flair was giving him a lot here too in an effort to get over though, which was always one of Flair’s greatest strengths. This was one of the best things on the show so far, and it was nice to see both of them doing their thing so well.

Jimmy Hart (looking weird without glasses) and Giant are ready for Hollywood Hogan tonight. Hogan told the fans to stick it, but Giant is going to stick his hand around Hogan’s neck for a chokeslam. Giant has gotten miles better at promos in the last year.

Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger

For reasons I still don’t quite get, Sting and Luger were champs until June but lost them to Harlem Heat, who traded the titles with the Steiners and Public Enemy (winning the titles three times in just over three months) instead of just having the Outsiders take the titles from Sting and Luger here. If nothing else, it would have given them a heck of a visual to end the show and the Outsiders winning the titles was inevitable anyway.

Anyway Hall (thanks to a game of Rock Paper Scissors) and Luger start things off with Hall working on a top wristlock. That’s broken up with straight power so Hall mocks Luger a bit, as only he can. Nash comes in and, after a bit of a tease, Luger brings Sting in as well. An exchange of shots to the face has Nash rocked a bit but Sting can’t slam him. More rights and lefts stagger Nash though and a poke to the eyes allows the slam.

Since it’s just a slam, Nash is right back up with Snake Eyes to take over and Hall comes back in for the corner clothesline. Heenan continues to sound bombed as he says he doesn’t care who wins here. Hall and Nash start taking turns beating on Sting, with Hall getting in the quality taunting that he does so well. A heck of a clothesline in the corner drops Sting and Nash comes in for the boot choke. Sting starts fighting back with that unique style of striking of his but it isn’t enough to get over for the tag. Instead it’s a collision to put Nash down, allowing Sting to fall down for the low blow.

Hall cuts off the tag, earning a COME ON HALL from Heenan. Tony: “WHAT???” Even Heenan doesn’t seem to get that one, which shouldn’t be that surprising. Sting backdrops his way out of the Outsider’s Edge attempt and the hot tag brings in Luger. Everything breaks down and Sting gets the Scorpion on Nash on the floor. The torture rack attempt knocks down referee Nick Patrick, who staggers right into Luger’s knee. A fast count gives Hall the pin at 14:34.

Rating: C-. The match was a bit dull but what hurts it more than anything else is the lack of stakes. I know it’s a big match for the Outsiders to get the pin over two of the biggest names in WCW, but how much better would this have been if the Outsiders had won the Tag Team Titles here? The match wasn’t exactly bad, though it could have been a lot more all things considered.

Heenan didn’t think the count was fast, as he still isn’t all there (throw in the slurred speech and I don’t think there is much doubt about what is going on).

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Giant, with Jimmy Hart is defending, but first we need a long introduction about how amazing the bikers are, because motorcycles are cool or something. Hogan, the biggest heel in the world at the moment, gets the biggest face pop of the night. And they actually came here THREE MORE TIMES because Bischoff really, really loves motorcycles. It’s also fun to see Hogan still doing a lot of his face stuff as he doesn’t have the heel version entirely figured out yet.

Hogan hits the stall button to start and Heenan is loving the fact that he gets to rip on Hogan and have everyone admit that he’s right after all these years. Back in and Hogan hammers away in the corner to no effect so it’s time for more stalling on the floor. Hogan gets inside again and this time gets tossed right back to the floor as they’re firmly in first gear. A headlock is countered into a belly to back suplex to put Hogan on the floor again as it feels like we’ve been here before.

Giant wins a test of strength until Hogan fires off some kicks to the ribs, again earning a huge cheer from the bikers. The comeback is on and Giant gets him down to his knees as we are seven minutes into this thing. A top wristlock drives Hogan down but he grabs the hair to set up an armbar. The double arm crank goes on as it’s bizarre to see Hogan using all of these holds. Giant fights up so Hogan pulls him down by the hair. Back up again and three headbutts put Hogan on the floor.

That’s fine with Hogan, who pulls Giant outside and hammers away but Giant kicks him down back inside. A backbreaker gives Giant two but the big elbow misses. Hogan gets in some right hands…..and Giant Hulks Up, complete with shaking and the finger point. Giant hits a big boot and loads up the chokeslam but has to deal with the invading Outsiders. That’s enough for Hogan to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title at 14:53 in one of the most obvious results you’ll ever see (and that is not a bad thing).

Rating: D. Not only was the crowd all over the place (but the WCW guys got to ride motorcycles so it’s cool) but the match was a lot of Hogan stalling and very slow motion moves. Giant Hulking Up was a nice touch but that was about the only positive here. There was zero doubt about who was winning here and you absolutely had to put the title on Hogan, but it wasn’t an easy path to get there.

Post match the celebration is on, with Booty Man coming out in an NWO shirt with a birthday cake for Hogan (whose birthday was the next day but close enough). We hear about their 22 year friendship and Hogan says they have been like blood. Hogan talks about how he is going to beat Ric Flair at Clash of the Champions, mainly because Flair keeps mixing business with personal.

The NWO doesn’t do that though…..so “get him boys”. The beatdown is on and Hogan asks what he’ll do to Flair if he’ll do that to his brother. With that out of the way, we get the NWO spray painted on the title, which wound up being a pretty big deal. Of note: Giant laid there for about seven plus minutes while the NWO did their thing. Screw the legdrop, as that’s the most amazing belt shot ever.

Commentary is upset and scared of what is coming.

Roll credits, over a shot of a motorcycle of course.

Overall Rating: C+. The atmosphere was certainly unique, even if you discount the annoyance that was the bikers doing their own thing all night. The wrestling itself was pretty good for the most part and the two main event matches did enough of what they were supposed to. It’s not a great show but the post match event deal with the spray paint was certainly a big deal. Thrown in Heenan being bombed live on pay per view and there are worse options out there for a nearly three hour show. Oh and bikers, because motorcycles are the coolest things EVER. Eh Bischoff can explain it better than I can.

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 13, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

We’re crawling towards Wrestlemania and that means this is going to be NFL and Shawn Michaels heavy. On top of that we have a big match for tonight with Jerry Lawler facing Bret Hart all over again because these two have only had their great feud going for the better part of two years now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lawler vs. Hart, which started at King of the Ring 1993, then we jumped ahead about twenty months and Lawler accused Hart of being a racist with promises of proof coming tonight.

Opening sequence.

Headshrinkers vs. Blu Brothers

This isn’t even the match they had advertised in the opening video as the Headshrinkers are replacing 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly, the latter of whom wrestled on a dark match and the former of whom appeared later in the night. Odd indeed but I can’t imagine it was anything serious. Fatu and Jacob shove each other a bit to start and the twin makes the mistake of sending a Samoan into the buckle. It’s off to Sionne (Barbarian) to help on a double shoulder but it’s time to talk about clotheslines not being legal in the NFL.

Sionne gets knocked to the floor for a beating and the Blu’s tag, leaving Vince completely confused as to which is which. Back from a break with Sionne fighting out of a chinlock. A shoulder sends Eli outside and the twins switch. Not that it matters as they double team Sionne down to keep control. Sionne gets in a powerslam and the hot tag bring in Fatu to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. I’m a Headshrinkers fan but this was too long and boring. Holly and the Kid would have been a lot better here as it would have freshened up the styles a bit. You can only have power brawlers vs. power brawlers for so long and by the time you need a chinlock and a commercial, the match has probably gone on too long.

Lawrence Taylor says he’ll fight like crazed dogs.

We see some of the NFL plays that will be in Taylor’s corner. One of those players, Steve McMichael, is going to be here next week to see this Kama guy.

Bam Bam Bigelow and the Million Dollar Team are ready for Wrestlemania.

Former NFL player and wrestling legend Ernie Ladd offers his thoughts on the match, which he thinks will go to Bigelow due to Taylor going into this with too much emotion.

Barry Horowitz says he’s confident and has been talking to Razor Ramon about his match tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Barry Horowitz

Non-title. Jarrett jumps him from behind because you need an advantage over Barry Horowitz. We get an awkward sequence in the corner until Barry grabs an armdrag into an armbar. A legdrop on the arm keeps Jeff in trouble as this is already more competitive than I was expecting. We get some bad news: the President of the San Francisco 49ers can’t call in to the show. Roadie’s save attempt fails and Barry gets in a high knee but hurts himself in the process. A quick Figure Four ends Horowitz.

Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here and it helped that Barry was actually building up to a moderate push and a win at Summerslam. Jarrett wasn’t interesting but that never stopped the company (or any company for that matter) from pushing him all over the place.

We look at Jerry Lawler landing on one foot to save himself from elimination in a battle royal, only to have Bret come out and eliminate him for real.

Bret promises to get rid of Lawler tonight. Not quite buddy, though this was as fired up as I’ve seen Bret in a long time.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with the usual recaps and hyping up. The big stories are Salt N Pepa singing Taylor to the ring and the announcement of Owen Hart/??? vs. the Smoking Gunns for the Tag Team Titles. We also see Shawn hitting on Pamela Anderson, who clearly HATES this and doesn’t really try to hide it. Finally we see Men on a Mission turning heel in a turn that didn’t matter for months. This goes on for the better part of ten minutes.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Lawler brings out Japanese wrestler Bull Nakano to prove that Japan likes him better. Bret immediately punches him out to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Bob Backlund as Bret sends Lawler into the buckle over and over. Now Hakushi and his manager Shinja come out to watch as Bret is sent into the steps. We take a break and come back with Lawler getting annoyed at the BURGER KING chants. A suplex drops Bret for no cover but the top rope fist goes awry, allowing Hart to take over. They head outside again with Nakano getting involved, causing Bret to get counted out because this referee is stupid.

Rating: C. Bret vs. Lawler is one of those matches that is going to work no matter what you have them doing because it’s such an easy story with the skilled technician vs. the dirty cheater who you want to see get beaten up. The Japanese stuff certainly was a story and I know they needed something to keep this going but it was still a bit weird.

Bret beats Lawler up post match.

Jeff Jarrett has had a contract drawn up to give Barry Horowitz a rematch for the Intercontinental Title next week but Backlund steals the contract and signs up instead because that’s how contracts work.

Overall Rating: D+. If you don’t like Wrestlemania, you’re going to HATE this show and almost everything about it. The Taylor vs. Bigelow stuff was clearly a spectacle but that doesn’t mean the build is anything remotely interesting. The Bret vs. Lawler stuff really felt like a way to pad out the show and it did help somewhat but this was still a rough show to sit through.

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