Sacrifice 2014: Even The Women Have Beards

Sacrifice 2014
Date: April 27, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is one of TNA’s rare PPVs and it’s actually coming on the heels of another. That being said, there’s not a ton of interesting stuff happening in TNA at the moment. The big stories are Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Eric Young vs. Magnus II for the World Title, which isn’t doing much for me as a main event feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is narrated by Eric Young and talks about how Eric isn’t the typical champion and how he’s doing all of this for the people. Magnus says he’s above Eric and the people and was born to be a champion. TNA actually claiming this isn’t taken from Daniel Bryan makes me chuckle.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves

It’s three on two with the Bro Mans/Zema defending. They’ve cheated time after time to keep the titles using help from whichever member wasn’t in the match at the time so tonight everyone is in the match at the same time. Before the match Eddie gets on the mic and asks Christy to read something. It’s a note from MVP saying this is now No DQ.

The Wolves clean house to start and low bridge the champions to the floor before LAUNCHING Ion over the top to the floor. Stereo dives take the Bro Mans out again before the Wolves take turns mauling Zema with whatever painful looking strikes they can think of. Ion finally gets in a shot with his laptop to put Eddie down and the champions take over. Davey is dropped throat first onto the barricade as we finally get down to one on one.

Jesse gets two on Edwards off a powerslam before Robbie comes in to choke with some tape. Off to Ion who gets slapped in the face but comes back with a hard elbow to keep Eddie in trouble. Back to Robbie for a chinlock before the champions start double teaming Edwards. A nice dropkick from Jesse gets two but he gets caught in a belly to back suplex. The numbers game keeps the champions in control though as Ion pulls Richards off the apron and prevents a tag.

Back in and Eddie takes both Bro Mans down with a double hurricanrana before the hot tag brings in Richards. Davey cleans house and throws Robbie into Zema for a front facelock (as in Ion has Robbie in the hold) before dropkicking Ion down, forcing him to DDT Robbie at the same time. That was so contrived looking I can’t begin to comprehend it. The Wolves dominate the champions and hit the double double stomp on Jesse for the pin and the titles at 10:15. Tenay’s reaction is as unemotional as I have ever heard for a title change.

Rating: C. Very stupid DDT spot aside, this was a nice choice for an opener. The fans love the Wolves and reacted well enough to the title change, but the impact is kind of lost due to this being the second time they’ve won the belts. The No DQ stipulation wasn’t needed at all here and was only used for the laptop spot, which could have easily been a knee to the back.

Samuel Shaw says he’s a perfectly normal man and will send Anderson to the mental institution tonight.

We recap Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson. Basically Shaw is nuts and stalked Christy Hemme so Anderson is fighting for her. Shaw’s mom is named Christy and is straight out of a horror movie, offering everyone pie and acting like her son is perfectly normal.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

Commitment Match, meaning you have to take your opponent outside and put him in a van to win and the loser goes to a mental institution. Shaw runs away from Anderson to start and Christy is at ringside. After hiding behind Christy, Shaw is sent into the post, apron and barricade to give Anderson the early advantage. They head inside with Shaw nailing Anderson in the ribs with a shoulder but missing a charge and falling back to the floor.

Shaw grabs the standing choke on the floor and puts him out in a few moments but now has to drag him to the back. Instead he drags Christy inside and says she’s coming with him whether she likes it or not. Christy slaps him in the face but Shaw seems to like it. The distraction lets Anderson get back up and nail a clothesline and neckbreaker to send Shaw crawling up the aisle. Anderson says no no no and sends him into the barricade before kicking Samuel in the face.

A Mic Check off the stage is countered with some elbows but Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry instead. He says Shaw is going for a little ride but first it’s a chair to Shaw’s ribs and back. Anderson whips him into the barricade again and they head into the interview area.

They find JB and Anderson makes him interview Shaw while holding him in a headlock. Shaw is put on a cart and wheeled into some metal boxes as they find the van. The distraction of opening the doors lets Samuel get in a few cheap shots as Christy comes in. She distracts him before hitting Shaw low and there’s a Mic Check to send Shaw into the van for the win at 10:30.

Rating: D+. Well that….happened. I doubt this is the end of the feud because it’s TNA and things don’t end after a few gimmick matches, but there’s no reason for them to keep going. At least Christy didn’t turn on Anderson to side with Shaw like I was expecting, but there’s still time for her to do something stupid like that.

Ethan Carter says he didn’t do anything wrong by beating Kurt Angle because it was all about making a name for himself. Angle has been in the ring with a bunch of legends and won a bunch of titles, but there’s one man that Angle will never ever (repeat about 15 times) and that’s Ethan Carter. Spud doesn’t like Willow either.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Willow/Kurt Angle

Carter hides in the ropes to avoid Kurt to start before quickly tagging in Spud. Angle just stares as Spud tries to get fired up before threatening to knock Spud all the way back to England. Back to Carter as we’re over a minute and a half in with no contact. Ethan bails to the floor as the stalling continues. Back in and Angle tries an ankle lock but Carter dives over to tag Spud in. The Englishman goes outside too as we’ve had about 15 seconds of action in three minutes.

Willow gets the tag and dives onto both guys who fail to catch him, allowing Willow to crash onto the floor. He was holding the umbrella at the time so the fans chant Mary Poppins. Angle misses a charge into the steps and Willow has to take both heels down with a Whisper in the Wind back inside. Carter gets in a cheap shot though and Spud hammers away to take over. A snap suplex gets two on Willow as Angle is still down on the floor. I’d guess he’s still hurt given how much he’s been laying around.

The double teaming continues until Angle sneaks in for some rolling Germans on Carter. There’s the ankle lock but Spud tries to make the save with a sleeper. That goes about as well as you would expect and it’s an ankle lock on Spud until Carter chop blocks Kurt down. Willow breaks up a leg lock and cleans house until Spud is left alone in the ring against both good guys. Twist of Fate into the Angle Slam into the Swanton is good for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. This could have closed the first hour of any episode of Impact. Angle isn’t ready to come back full time yet after that knee injury and in that case, he needs to sit down again for awhile. It’s obvious that they’re hiding his condition and that’s fine, but it doesn’t make for interesting matches. I’m assuming Carter doesn’t lose until BFG.

Eric Young loves when the fans cheer for him and he’s not losing the title because it makes him feel too good.

Knux and his girlfriend are coming back to TNA. She says he’ll get all the rebel he can handle, which I think is her name. Knux says there will be two other people joining them: Crazy Steve and the Freak. Rebel isn’t pleased.

Video on Sanada winning the X Title and how important it is in Japan.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

This is the third match in a best of three series for the title. Feeling out process to start and they trade some near falls until it’s a standoff. A hurricanrana puts Tigre down to the floor for a breather before Sanada catches him in a rolling cradle for two. Tigre comes back with a rollup of his own and a kick gets the same. A freaky looking neck lock (think a headscissors on the mat with Tigre cranking on the arm) has Sanada in trouble but he quickly counters into a dragon sleeper.

Tigre escapes again and tries a springboard but gets dropkicked out of the air in a nice counter. Back up and a Jericho springboard dropkick sends Sanada out to the floor. A sloppy flip dive takes out Sanada again but he’s able to get his knees up to block a moonsault back inside.

Sanada hits a pair of springboard chops to the head drops Tigre but he comes back with a release suplex to send Sanada into the ropes. The challenger goes up top but gets pulled down with a top rope hurricanrana. Sanada misses his top rope moonsault and Tigre escapes the dragon suplex. A cradle DDT puts Sanada down again but he avoids a Phoenix Splash, setting up the moonsault to retain the title at 9:40.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for a few minutes. They didn’t mean anything at all and it was pretty much every single cruiserweight match ever in WCW that didn’t have Mysterio, Kidman or Guerrera. I also have no idea why this was a best of three series as it meant nothing at all.

James Storm promises to cut Gunner down to size.

We recap the I Quit match. Storm and Gunner randomly teamed up just under a year ago before turning on each other after losing the titles to the Bro Mans. This is I believe their fourth gimmick match of the feud.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Angelina Love says Madison Rayne is a charity case and tonight she’ll win her sixth Knockout Title.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

Bully Ray starts a tables chant and promises to put Bobby Roode through the wood.

We recap Ray vs. Roode, which is fallout from Lockdown where Ray turned on Roode and cost his team the main event. They’ve put each other through tables ever since, setting up this tables match.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. They slug it out to start with the Bully getting the advantage and nailing a nice backdrop. A side slam has Roode in trouble and Bobby is bleeding from the lip. The Flip Flop and Fly has Roode down again and it’s already table time. Ray takes too much time though and Roode gets in a shot to take over. Bobby knocks him off the apron but can’t drive Ray through a table.

Back in and Ray hits a dropkick of all things but takes too much time getting a table, allowing Roode to come back with a nice neckbreaker. Bobby sets up a table in the corner and they fight over a suplex with neither guy being able to pull it off. With that not working, Bobby shoves him into the corner and yells a lot before kicking Ray in the chest. He loads up Ray’s powerbomb but gets backdropped down for his efforts.

Roode snaps Ray’s throat across the top rope but Bully chops the skin off Bobby’s chest back inside. Neither guy can hit a powerbomb through the tables and there goes the referee. Of course now Ray is able to powerbomb Roode through the table with no one seeing it but the fans.

Ray goes to get another table but takes too long, allowing Roode to hit a spinebuster. The Roode Bomb through the table doesn’t work so Bobby goes up, only to dive into the cutter. Ray puts Roode on two tables at ringside before going up top, only to have Dixie Carter in a beard (seriously) appear and shove him through the tables to give Roode the win at 13:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but the ending made my head hurts. As I said earlier, we’ve seen these two put each other through tables for weeks now and seeing it happen again at a bearded Dixie Carter’s hands (I can’t get over that) doesn’t make it any more interesting. It’s just something else that happened and it’s not much to see.

Magnus says that he’ll show Eric Young what a wrestling champion is tonight. He has no backup so he can prove his biggest criticism wrong. Magnus: “You can call me Wreck-It Ralph because there’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

We recap Magnus vs. Eric Young. Eric won a gauntlet match for a shot at the title later in the night where he won the belt in a shocker. Tonight is Magnus’ rematch which is basically people’s champion vs. man destined to be a champion. This gets a music video treatment which is basically a career retrospective for Young.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Eric Young

We get the big match intros and Eric is defending. The fans of course chant USA for the Canadian champion. Magnus gets in Young’s face to start and shoves him into the corner as we get a SUPER ERIC chant. Young comes back and takes the Brit down before walking over his spine. Back up and they trade headlocks until Magnus cranks on both of Eric’s arms with a knee in the back. Eric rolls out with ease and Magnus heads outside to think about it.

The champ hits a nice plancha to take Magnus down and the fans chant EY. It’s so nice that we look at it again and the background is missing, so instead of a graphic in the back it’s the same video that is on the mini screen in the replay. Eric dives off the apron into a belly to belly (replay again and this one works) to give Magnus control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Young followed by a knee that might have been low.

Eric tries to fight back but gets caught in a drop toehold into a camel clutch. We get a light dueling “Let’s Go EY/EY Sucks” chant as Eric fights up and they both hit cross bodies. That works so well that they do it again with clotheslines and both guys are down. Eric wins a slugout and scores with a flying forearm followed by a clothesline. Magnus escapes the piledriver but gets caught in a nice belly to belly. The champion misses a moonsault and gets slammed down, setting up Magnus’ top rope elbow for two.

A wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker puts Magnus down and it’s Eric’s elbow connecting for a near fall. Young still can’t get the piledriver as Magnus counters into a Kingsland Cloverleaf. A rope is quickly grabbed though and it’s Eric putting on a horrible looking Scorpion until Magnus makes the ropes even faster than Eric did. Magnus nails him with a right hand on top and a slam down gets two more. The referee stops Magnus from bringing in a hammer, allowing Eric to connect with the piledriver for an even closer near fall. There’s a second piledriver and the elbow to retain the title at 15:44.

Rating: B-. So I guess Eric is the long term plan because…..well because they’ve tried EVERYTHING else and it hasn’t worked. This was actually far better than I was expecting as they told a decent story, though the ending didn’t really work too well. It’s the match of the night for sure though and a good way to close a show.

Overall Rating: C. This just didn’t do it for me. I see no reason for this to be a PPV and it feels like their old Russo shows: gimmicks added for no reason at all (No DQ in the opener and the van stuff with Anderson vs. Shaw), stories that just keep going (Storm vs. Gunner) and a main event that tried but just didn’t feel like a big match because of who was involved.

It’s not that the show was terrible because it did have its moments, but it’s a reflection on how unappealing TNA really is at the moment. It’s a watchable show and the main event isn’t bad, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Also, where was Abyss? As in the guy that Impact was built around last week. I’d assume he didn’t make the show because they didn’t have time to figure him in because this show had SO much thought put into it right?

Results
Wolves b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Double stomp to Godderz
Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Anderson threw Shaw into the van
Willow/Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud –
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Moonsault
Gunner b. James Storm – Storm quit after being cut with a beer bottle
Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bobby Roode b. Bully Ray – Dixie Carter shoved Ray through two tables
Eric Young b. Magnus – Top rope elbow
 

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Sacrifice 2014 Preview

So yeah, this is tomorrow.

We’ll start with the main event. I’ll take Bully Ray to beat Bobby Roode in the tables match with a powerbomb. No seriously that’s the main event. If you watch Impact, this is the match we’ve heard the most of all month long. I don’t quite get the appeal of having people put each other through tables for a month and then pay to see them put each other through one more table but that’s just me.

Eric Young keeps the title because…..well because Eric Young is World Champion in a major wrestling company and according to them it’s not a ripoff of Daniel Bryan.

I’ll take Angelina to take the Knockouts Title because it’s the easiest thing they can do to keep the division as boring as possible.

I’ll actually take Storm to win the I Quit match, presumably through the use of someone else like Gunner’s dad. Why this feud is still going is anyone’s guess as this is about the fourth match that should have blown the thing off.

Angle/Willow over Carter/Spud to give the good guys their revenge. Again there’s no real thinking in this but that’s the case for almost everything in TNA anymore.

Give me Sanada over Tigre Uno in a match that just didn’t need to be a best of three at all.

I have a feeling Shaw wins the Committed match over Anderson with Christy’s help because Russo is back on the creative team as a consultant and that’s one of his favorites.

Oh and the Wolves get the belts back which should be their first reign but we needed them to win in Japan or whatever.

As I’m sure you can tell, I REALLY do not care about this show at all. That was what went through my head the entire show on Thursday and it’s the same case here. TNA is just not very interesting right now and the majority of the show feels like something they remembered doing before and just swapped the names around. It’s not interesting for the most part and there really isn’t much I want to see on this show which doesn’t need to be a PPV in the slightest. Things can turn around, but I don’t see much good going on at the moment.

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Impact Wrestling – April 24, 2014: A Big Stew

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

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Impact Wrestling – April 17, 2014: Here He Is, Ready Or Not

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
 
There’s a big story for once in TNA as Eric Young won the World Title last week in TNA’s Daniel Bryan storyline. The problem with that is Eric is best known as a comedy character, so it’s hard to say where he’s going. In theory we’re setting up Eric vs. Magnus II at Sacrifice but there’s no telling with this company. Let’s get to it.

 
We open with the new champion who gets a quick YOU DESERVE IT chant. Young talks about how this is the culmination of several years of hard work but here’s Dixie Carter to interrupt. She says that she’s seen all of the potential in Eric Young over the years and brings up the DON’T FIRE ERIC bit from several years back. It was Dixie that allowed him to stay and she’s the one that came up with the beard. Dixie wants royalties from all of the money made off the beards at the moment.
 
Young says he thought Bully Ray packed Dixie up and sent her back to Nashville. We now have MVP to keep things going but Dixie says she has authority over the title because she’s President of the company. For better or worse, Eric is the hood ornament for the 2014 Dixie Carter Ferrari. This is of course different from being Face of the WWE. Eric hopes there are bags in the car, because being close to her for that long is going to make him sick.
 
Young says if she’s looking for a paper champion she’s looking in the wrong place. He’s going to get in the General Lee (old TV car) and run her over. Dixie asks if he’s trying to get hashtag Throwback Thursday going with that dated reference. First up though, Eric needs a makeover. Eric says no but here’s Bully Ray to interrupt anyway.
 
Ray apologizes to Eric but wants to know how many people are sick of Dixie. Young is a role model for every wrestler who has been held down by a loser boss like Dixie. He brings up last week where there was a table between the two of them and says this is their domain. Ray starts up the Goodbye Song and Dixie leaves in shame. Bully endorses Eric as World Champion as someone he respects and likes.
 
Velvet vs. Madison Rayne
 
Street fight. The villains wait on Rayne/Brittan with kendo sticks but Rayne sneaks in from behind and jumps her to get us going. They get inside and exchange some whips into the corner until Madison runs Velvet over with a shoulder. Angelina asks for a time out for her partner but uses the distraction for a double Stunner over the top rope to put Madison in trouble.
 
A trashcan lid to the back gets two for Velvet and it’s back to the floor with Angelina getting in some cheap shots. They quickly head back inside and Love hands Velvet a trashcan, only to have Madison kick it into her ribs. Angelina offers another distraction but Madison ducks underneath and hits what looked like a running punch to the ribs which mostly missed and was called a spear for the pin at 4:32.
 
Rating: D. This wasn’t much to see as TNA continues to throw out gimmick matches with no real rhyme or reason and give them five minutes so they go nowhere. The Beautiful People vs. Madison really isn’t working for me yet as much like almost every other feud in the division, we’ve seen this before. I’m not feeling this feud for the most part though.
 
Eric Young thanks Bully for his praise but Bully says he’s off to Rick’s Cabaret to spend the rest of Dixie’s money. Abyss comes in and asks Eric for a title match tonight. Eric says he can’t say no and wants to make it Monster’s Ball.
 
Spud is looking for Dixie but runs into Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan says they have a problem named Jeff Hardy. Hardy took them into a shack in the woods and they have to deal with it now. Tonight it’s a handicap match against Willow, but Ethan says they’re handicappers. Ethan handicapped Kurt Angle and tonight they’ll handicap Willow. They fire each other up and say to follow each other before going in different directions. Spud turns around and says he’ll follow Ethan.
 
MVP is in the ring in a very fast turn around. He talks about a man showing up last week after ten years and winning the World Title, so let’s have a hand for Eric Young. Lost in the big fray though was the name Samoa Joe. MVP didn’t care to hear about Joe being disgruntled and not showing up, especially when Joe has MVP’s phone number. We get an interruption but it’s the returning Austin Aries.
 
Aries says he’s as disgruntled as anyone because he’s been on the sidelines since Lockdown and no one has seemed to miss him. MVP likes to motivate people but Aries has never needed any sort of motivation. Not being called for six weeks is all the movitation he could ever want though. MVP won’t validate Aries by putting him in the ten man gauntlet last week, so now Aries wants to participate.
 
The boss says Aries didn’t respect MVP when he screwed him over a few weeks back to join Team Roode. They tease a fight but MVP says this is about the fans and not Aries or MVP. The jacket comes off but Aries raises him a shirt. They’re about to fight but Aries says next week. He won’t trade fists with a convicted felon but next week he’ll show MVP why he’s the best wrestler in the world.
 
Eric Young video.
 
Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves
 
This is the actual match after Robbie E. interfered last week. We get the Zema Ion intro to make this feel a bit bigger. The Wolves knock the champions off the apron to start and a sliding dropkick to Robbie’s head is good for two. Robbie gets double teamed to start and a jackknife cover gets two for Davey. Richards drives Robbie back first into the apron but Jesse shake the ropes to crotch him on the top.
 
Jesse throws on a chinlock before hitting a quick gorilla press on Davey. Robbie adds a middle rope elbow for two but heel miscommunication allows Richards to make the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie fires off chops in the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. The throw into the chest kick drops Jesse and the double stomps off the top crush Robbie, but Zema runs in for the DQ at 4:57.
 
Rating: C-. This would be a much better story if the Wolves hadn’t won the titles yet. It didn’t mean much, but having them finally take the belts off the Bro Mans instead of doing a quick change and then another in Japan would have worked better as a payoff. You could see the Zema interference coming as well.
 
Willow says Spud and Carter remind him of dirty sheets. He’ll rise victorious tonight.
 
We see Eric talking about how this is what a World Champion looks like and this is the face of a champion. He nearly cries in an emotional moment. This would work better if you couldn’t hear Madison Rayne’s entrance in the background.
 
Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud
 
No tagging to start but Willow cleans house and the referee puts Spud on the apron. Willow elbows Carter down and gets two off an elbow drop, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up. Carter avoids a charge in the corner and chokes away a bit before it’s off to Spud. Willow bites the ankle to escape and it’s back to Ethan for a hard slam and a chinlock. A running flip neckbreaker gets two on Willow but he quickly fights back with a Twist of Fate to Carter. Another one to Spud is enough for the pin at 4:32.
 
Rating: D+. Not much to see here as Spud isn’t working due to it just being Jeff Hardy with a loud laugh. Spud is also much better as a character than an in ring worker. It also doesn’t help that Spud and Carter have lost every single match in the feud so far, so we’re just spinning our wheels.
 
Carter goes after Willow’s knee but Kurt Angle makes the save. Post match Angle says he’ll retire on his own terms. Kurt wants a match against Carter one on one and Ethan will learn why Angle is called the Cyborg. He’ll take his time too so Carter is taken out in a body bag.
 
Bobby Roode promises to put Bully through a table at Sacrifice but tonight there’s an open challenge for a tables match.
 
Video on Sanada.
 
Kenny King is tired of being on the bench and says you don’t put an All Star on the bench. Tonight he’s doing commentary.
 
Tigre Uno vs. Sanada
 
This is the second match in the best of three series for Sanada’s X Title with Tigre Uno down 1-0. Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting the advantage. Sanada scores with a dropkick and they flip around to escape a test of strength. Tigre avoids a charge in the corner but misses a springboard splash. Sanada comes back with a springboard chop to the head and a TKO gets two. Tigre comes back by avoiding a charge and a Sabretooth Splash is enough for the pin at 3:26.
 
Rating: C. Two guys flying around before they get to the rubber match for the title. There really isn’t anything else to say here as there’s no significant backstory between them. Again, such is life in TNA. Not that it matters as King is likely going to take the title from the winner.
 
Bully gives an unseen person a pep talk before the tables match.
 
Bobby Roode vs. Gunner
 
It’s a tables match of course. A quick bulldog drops Gunner and it’s already table time. Gunner comes back with a baseball slide to stop the table before sending Roode into the steps. Gunner no sells being rammed into the corner but Bobby nails a Blockbuster. The table is set up in the ring but Rooe can’t powerbomb him through.
 
Gunner nails a running knee to the face but walks into a bad looking spinebuster. Roode escapes an F5 but gets headbutted onto the table. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle a few times, only to have James Storm make a save. It’s enough for Roode to slam Gunner onto the table befor ethe Roode Bomb is enough to break the table for the win at 6:15.
 
Rating: C-. Nothing special to see here but the gimmick matches are getting really old in a hurry, especially when it’s to set up another gimmick match at the PPV. I’m already getting numb to seeing all of these matches with different rules all over the place as they’re taking the place of regular matches.
 
Bully Ray saves Gunner from a beatdown.
 
Some wrestlers talk about Eric Young winning the title.
 
Eric looks at weapons and says this was his idea because he’s the World Champion.
 
Post break Ray suggests teaming up with Gunner against Beer Money with Gunner accepting.
 
TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Abyss
 
Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes and of course Eric is defending. Eric throws a trashcan full of weapons into the ring to start and hits fifteen right hands to the head in the corner. Abyss comes back with a quick chokeslam attempt before launching the champion over the corner and out to the floor. Young fights back and heads inside, only to dive into a trashcan to the head as we go to a break.
 
Back with Abyss wedging a chair in the corner but Eric comes back with some big right hands and a running dropkick. Abyss catapults him into the chair to take over again before bringing in the bag of tacks. Young saves himself with a cheese grater to the groin and a running forearm to put Abyss down. Abyss pulls out Janice but it gets caught in the turnbuckle to avoid a bad case of death.
 
Eric kicks him low and gets Janice out of the buckle, only to be chokeslammed down onto the tacks. It’s barbed wire board time (because you just have that under the ring in case a Monster’s Ball match is booked on the fly) but Young escapes another chokeslam attempt with a bite of the fingers. A dropkick sends Abyss onto the board and the top rope elbow retains the title at 12:02.
 
Rating: C. Nowhere near as good as the same match from a few weeks ago but it wasn’t bad. This was designed to give Young his first big match and Heaven forbid you save this for the pay per view or anything. That’s another rant for another time though as I’ve complained about TNA having no idea how to advertise more times than I can count. Fine match but it’s nothing we haven’t seen done better like a month ago.
 
Overall Rating: D+. TNA is starting to slip again as there’s just not much of interest at the moment. Tonight was basically them saying: “here’s Eric Young. Love him or hate him, we’re pushing the heck out of him.” The problem with that is a lot of fans are going to get annoyed that a guy they perceive as a comedy player is now the focal point of the show.
 
Other than that I’m getting tired of the gimmick overload. Tonight we had five matches and one was a regular match. You could say the handicap match is a gimmick match as well, but even if you don’t there were three gimmick matches tonight. That’s just overkill on a two hour show and it got old fast.
 
Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Spear
Wolves b. Bro Mans via DQ when Zema Ion interfered
Willow b. Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III – Twist of Fate to Spud
Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Roode Bomb through a table
Eric Young b. Abyss – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 10, 2014: Copying Wrestlemania Isn’t A Bad Idea

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Dixie Carter is back tonight. Let’s all just take a minute to prepare ourselves for this. You can almost feel the power struggle starting from here. Officially she still has some power in TNA as she runs the behind the scenes stuff as opposed to MVP running the on camera stuff. Tonight is all about her wrath, which means it’s time for some bad acting. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Warrior.

Dixie Carter arrives and has something planned for tonight.

There’s a ten man gauntlet tonight for the title shot at Sacrifice.

MVP says Magnus successfully defended his title against three men last week but tonight he finds out his next challenger. Samoa Joe won’t be one of the entrants because he’s “not available.”

Gauntlet Match

It’s basically a ten man Royal Rumble. James Storm is #1 and Gunner is #2 and of course the brawl is on in the aisle. They get inside with Gunner avoiding a middle rope ax handle and taking him into the corner for a stomping. Storm is in even more trouble until Bobby Roode comes in at #3 to give him a breather. Beer Money reunites for a bit but Gunner shrugs off the ten rams into the top turnbuckle. Bully Ray is #4 and cleans house as you would expect him to. A double suplex has no effect though and he clotheslines Beer Money down.

Gunner and Ray load up What’s Up to Storm but Roode makes the save Ethan Carter III comes in at #5 to give the heels an advantage. Ray shrugs everything off and chops away but Roode punches him down in the corner. No one has been eliminated yet. Carter and Roode try to toss Ray until Bobby Lashley is in at #6. The big man cleans house and hammers on all the heels until Gunner, Ray and Bobby have a three way standoff. That goes nowhere and they keep beating up the villains.

Abyss is #7 and cleans house but Ray tries to toss him. Magnus comes out for commentary as we take a break. Back with Sanada having entered and Eric Young entering at I believe #9. No eliminations yet. Everyone fights against the ropes and teases a few eliminations but no one is really close. Willow is #10 and we get a showdown with Carter. A Twisting Stunner has Carter in trouble as Spud wheelchairs down to ringside, only to pop up and pull Willow down for the elimination.

Abyss chokeslams Sanada and throws him out but walks into a spear from Lashley. Roode throws the bald Bobby out though, only to get tossed by Ray. We’re down to Ray, Gunner, Storm, Carter, Abyss and Young. Ray is about to go off on Carter but Roode trips him up, allowing Carter to throw him out and get us down to five. Storm nails a superkick to Gunner and easily throws him out.

The three heels team up on Young but he skins the cat and eliminates Carter on the way back in. Abyss lays him out again though and the double teaming continues. Eric trips both of them up though and actually hits the top rope elbow on Abyss. Storm takes him right back down with the Backstabber though, followed by an Orton Elevated DDT. The Last Call misses though and Young throws him out. Abyss hits Shock Treatment on Eric but can’t get him out. Young fights back with some right hands and an ax handle, followed by a clothesline for the win and title shot at 26:21.

Rating: D+. ERIC YOUNG? This is the guy they’re giving a title match to? Not Gunner, Ray, Joe, or ANYONE ELSE??? They have like five PPVs a year and the guy who was doing a Dr. Frankenstein gimmick earlier in the year is getting one of the main event slots? He’s more bearable when he’s serious but my goodness this matches my head hurt.

Eric calls out MVP post match. The boss comes out after a break and Eric says he does a great job. Young isn’t a doctor but since this is live TV, anything can happen. What MVP just saw was Eric earning a title shot. This is live TV though and Eric is feeling crazy. He wants his title shot TONIGHT. MVP asks if he’s sure and says it’s on. Magnus says that’s fine because everything abides by his rules. MVP says there are no Magnus Rules in effect, meaning the title changes hands on a countout or DQ and Abyss is banned from ringside. If anyone interferes, they’re fired on the spot.

Spud, in a jacket that looks like it was involved in an explosion at a paint factory, has a surprise party for Dixie. She tells him to tone it down and accuses Spud of selling her down the river. Dixie leaves but as Spud follows her out, Willow invades the room and cleans house.

Angelina Love vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim vs. Brittany

The winner gets Madison at Sacrifice for the title. It’s a brawl to start with the girls pairing off in the corners. Gail and Angelina start double teaming Brittany but get in an argument over who gets the pin. Brittany fights back and cleans house until ODB comes back in and runs everyone over. Angelina takes a Bronco Buster but Gail kicks ODB down. Brittany hits a handspring moonsault for no cover on ODB but walks into a Downward Spiral from Love. Eat Defeat doesn’t work and Velvet sprays hairspray in Gail’s eyes, setting up a Brogue Kick from Angelina for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Well that was….obvious. Angelina has been feuding with Madison for weeks now so the match at the PPV is the logical progression of the story. It wasn’t anything to see but Brittany got to show off a little bit. I’m still not wild on the Beautiful People reunion as we’ve covered just about everything they can do.

Dixie comes in to see MVP and mocks some of the stuff he’s done lately. Apparently MVP stands for Massive Violation of Power. She says all of this is because of one disgruntled wrestler and she’ll take care of him tonight. Dixie wants him in the front row for her moment tonight.

Robbie E.’s flight is canceled but MVP thinks Jesse and Zema should defend the titles against the Wolves tonight unless Robbie can make it here by bell time.

We recap Eric getting a title shot tonight.

Magnus thinks Eric is making a huge mistake.

Here’s Dixie for her big moment. She immediately calls out Bully, drawing a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Ray comes out and the fans want him to put Dixie through a table. He thanks her for being around this week but Dixie talks about Roode suckering him into an attack a few weeks ago. Dixie rubs it in that Roode put Ray through three tables last week before ranting about him costing her the company.

Ray says this is the fans’ company and the wrestlers’ company but never Dixie’s company. They talk over each other a lot until Dixie says she wants her money back for Ray not doing his job. Ray says he’s spent it on a new car and at Rick’s Cabaret in New York. “You’d like it. They’ve got a lot of wine, women and song. A lot of women actually.”

Ray loads up his catchphrase but Dixie slaps the mic out of his hand. She’s from DALLAS, TEXAS and is responsible for every check that comes out of the company. Dixie slaps him in the face but Roode jumps Ray from behind. They load up a table but Ray fights back, only to have Roode bail from a powerbomb. Ray stares Dixie down and we take a break.

Post break Magnus wants to know what Dixie is doing. She says she’s going to her hotel, having a glass of wine and going to bed. Magnus calls her a typical woman and Dixie yells about him having an insurance policy before leaving.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

The Wolves are challenging. Eddie chops Jesse to start but Davey (now with a blond mohawk on top of his regular hair) makes a blind tag and double teams Jesse down. Zema snaps Davey’s throat across the top rope to give the champions control. The Wolves send the champions outside and hit stereo suicide dives to take them down again.

Back inside and Jesse slips in a knee from the apron to stagger Eddie, only to have him catch both of them in a hurricanrana at the same time. Hot tag brings in Davey to clean house with kicks and suplexes. A missile dropkick gets two on Godderz and the toss into the kick looks to get the pin, but Robbie E. runs in for the DQ at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this time the ending was somewhat in doubt. I actually thought they might change the titles here, which would have been a bit too early with the PPV coming up in a few weeks. The Wolves are the best team in the company and having them chase the titles for a few months is a good idea.

Christy is going to shock us with something about Samuel Shaw tonight. She wants to talk to him in the ring about commitment.

Here’s Christy to the ring to invite Samuel for a chat. She insists that he’s not creepy and says this whole thing is complicated. Shaw says he’s the love of her life and she agrees. Christy asks if he trusts her and she rubs her hands over his face. She wants to know if Shaw would go anywhere she asks him to go but he just slowly rips off his glove. Christy makes some rather suggestive noises and tells him to close his eyes.

A van with the words Psychiatric Services shows up on screen and of course Anderson pops out. He comes into the arena and rubs his hands behind Shaw’s back before laying him out with a Mic Check. The fans chant funny farm and Anderson chucks him over the top. He crawls towards Christy but Anderson chucks him into the van in the back. Shaw pops out and runs away though, making this whole segment pretty worthless.

Willow blames Carter and Spud for costing him the gauntlet match and wants a handicap match next week.

Impact is coming to New York City in June.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Magnus

Eh why not. It worked at Wrestlemania XXX. Young scores with a quick dropkick and flips over the corner before strutting down the apron. Apparently Young has a bad arm coming into this to really hammer in the similarities. Magnus avoids a charge into the corner and sends Eric out to the floor with a big running knee. Back in and Eric sends Magnus to the floor, only to get nailed as he tries a suicide dive.

Magnus sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with the champion getting two off a gutwrench suplex and we hit a sleeper on Young. Eric is quickly out of the hold but gets caught in a camel clutch to work on the back as well as the bad arm. Young powers up into an electric chair and both guys are down. Back up and some forearms and a clothesline drop Magnus. The arm seems fine at the moment. Eric tries a wheelbarrow slam into a neckbreaker but mostly drops Magnus on the way down.

The top rope elbow gets two and Magnus nails the Michinoku Driver for the same. He brings the belt into the ring but the referee takes it away. Young loads up a Death Valley Driver but gets hit low for two. Magnus is livid and gets caught in a crucifix for two. Eric comes back with a piledriver for the pin and the title at 13:05.

Rating: C. Eric Young is the TNA World Champion. Yes it’s a blatant ripoff of Daniel Bryan on Sunday, but Eric Young hasn’t earned the spot like Bryan has. He’s a comedy guy that has kept a job for a long time. That doesn’t mean he should be the World Champion. I’m assuming this doesn’t make it past Sacrifice, but I’ve only been able to tolerate Young for this many years. Having him as World Champion is too far for me.

Overall Rating: C. The ending just doesn’t do it for me as I’ve already explained. The rest of the show wasn’t bad, but this is the kind of show you need to build up to. I get that they needed to do everything in one night, but let us know in advance that this is coming. The Dixie stuff didn’t do anything for me but it’s probably continuing over the next few weeks. The wrestling was ok tonight but this is a very questionable way to use a story like this.

Results

Eric Young won a gauntlet match last eliminating Abyss

Angelina Love b. Brittany, ODB and Gail Kim – Bicycle kick to Kim

Wolves b. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz via DQ when Robbie E. interfered

Eric Young b. Magnus – Piledriver

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – April 3, 2014: Filling Up The Russo Bingo Card

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s a big show this week with a fourway for the World Title as Magnus defends against Eric Young, Samoa Joe and his own employee Abyss. Other than that we also have a tag team tables match between Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode as two feuds are combined. Hardy certainly is quick to forgive Ray for that hammer to the head at last year’s Lockdown. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.

Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start with the feuding parties teaming off and the good guys taking an early advantage. Poetry in Motion crushes Roode in the corner and there’s a What’s Up for Ethan. Ray wants the tables and the fans chant for them as well. Ray throws one in but Roode takes him down with a clothesline while Ethan nails Willow with a dropkick. A double backdrop through the table doesn’t quite work as Ray makes the save, only to get forearmed down by Carter.

Hardy makes the same save from a double suplex but takes a Carter clothesline. Carter tries to ram Willow face first into the mat but gets screamed at for his efforts. A cartwheel into a splash sets up the slingshot dropkick and Willow dances a bit. The Twisting Stunner sets up a Twist of Fate but here’s Spud in a wheelchair to distract the Swanton.

Ethan is still on the table though so Ray goes up, only to have Roode shove him over the table instead. Roode goes up but Bully grabs a crotch claw of all things before throwing him into Ethan. A big double clothesline drops the heels and there’s the Flip Flop and Fly to Bobby. Roode is able to save Ethan from a powerbomb through the table though and catches Ray in a spinebuster through the table for the win at 6:14.

Rating: C. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. Willow was nowhere to be seen for the last few minutes but at least we still have the two singles matches to look forward to. Unfortunately, the Russo booking theory strikes again: a regular match between Roode and Ray is going to see lame now after all these table spots over the last few weeks.

Bobby hits the Roode Bomb to send Ray through another table but he’s still not done. A top rope splash puts Ray through another table. Did Willow get shot or something?

Kenny King shows up on a golf cart but is told he doesn’t have a match. He tips the production guy anyway.

Magnus says don’t worry about Abyss tonight.

MVP is thrilled for the viewers tonight because the card is so awesome. Kenny King comes in and asks why he doesn’t have a match but is told to come back later.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is a straitjacket match which is like a casket match but you know, with a straitjacket instead of a casket. You have to put the other guy in it to win. Before the match Shaw insists that he isn’t creepy and talks about his hands making art. The worst crime in society is to be ordinary but Anderson jump Shaw to start on the fight on the floor. Shaw is sent into the steps and Anderson walks around a lot as we go to a break.

Back with Shaw hitting Anderson with the straitjacket and nailing some right hands. Anderson’s arms go into the jacket but he fights back with shots to the face and his usual stuff, despite barely being able to use his arms. The rolling fireman’s carry puts Shaw down but he low blows his way to freedom. Anderson is taken down by the choke but fights out of another attempt at being put in the jacket. The problem with this match is quickly made obvious: it takes a LONG time to put someone in the jacket so it takes a long time for Shaw to get it on for the win at 9:16.

Rating: D. Thirty three minutes in and two gimmick matches down. This was just stupid all around with a gimmick that didn’t work at all and took forever to get anywhere. The feud has just kept going with no real advancement in weeks. Shaw is creepy and wants Christy, who you can almost bet will be sleeping with him soon.

The Beautiful People say they made Madison and they’ll break her tonight, no matter who her mystery partner is.

Eric Young says he made the monster and is scared of what he’s become.

We’re supposed to start the first match a best of three series for Sanada’s X-Division Title but we have an interruption. Before the match Kenny King comes out and says he means no disrespect to his international friends but this should be about him. He’s the Pretty Boy Pitbull and he is the X-Division. He was doing stuff that Mil Mascaras was only dreaming of when he was a toddler but MVP breaks things up after that great line. He says King can’t mess with his show, which sends King into a rant about how this isn’t MVP’s show.

King wants to be in the ring but MVP says the card is booked for tonight. He offers King a spot next week but Kenny has another idea: an exhibition match with MVP tonight. MVP says no again but King slaps him in the face. The challenge goes out again and MVP says it’s on for tonight.

Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

The match starts after a break with some very fast paced kicks and counters to kicks, including a kick sending Sanada out to the floor. Back in and Tigre cranks on both of the champion’s arms until Sanada gets to the corner and takes Uno down, only to miss a standing moonsault. Uno misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a close two count. After a quick run to the floor, Tigre comes back in with a spinwheel kick, only to springboard into a dropkick. Sanada gets crotched on the top rope but gets his knees up to block a split legged moonsault. A tiger suplex is enough to pin Tigre at 3:40.

Rating: C. Standard cruiserweight style match here with both guys flying all over the place for a few minutes. They better have Tigre at least win one match though or he looks like a loser who got beat two straight falls, albeit against a very talented guy in Sanada. It didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was still good enough while it lasted.

Magnus says he’ll tell us where Abyss has been.

The new Knockout Brittany offers to be Madison’s partner tonight in acting reminiscent of a bad Divas segment. Madison turns her down because it’s a never ending cycle with the Beautiful People. Brittany won’t take no for an answer and Madison eventually gives in.

Magnus calls Abyss to the ring and here’s the monster in a suit. The champ says Abyss looks like a winner because of who he’s associated with. They need to discuss strategy for the match tonight, which really is a handicap match instead of a four corners match. Magnus says everyone knows what is going to happen tonight because they’re a team. He brings up James Mitchell and Eric Young to scare Abyss before giving him a big hug. They go to leave but Eric Young jumps them in the aisle. This goes about as well as you would expect until Joe makes the save. Eric isn’t pleased for some reason.

Robbie E comes in to see MVP and says Jesse is injured so the Bro Mans can’t defend against the Wolves tonight. Lawsuits are threatened and the title match is off.

We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne

Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I’m not liking this Beautiful People reunion so far as it’s basically the same story we saw from them a few years back and now we’re just watching it again. What exactly can they accomplish in the division again? Getting the title back? It’s not like they haven’t been able to do that already, so why are we rehashing the same idea?

Kenny King vs. MVP

This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.

Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.

Rating: D+. So King is going to prove how entertaining he is by having a boring match? This didn’t work for me either as MVP is getting less and less interesting every week. He’s just another authority figure who is in over his head and it’s not going anywhere. Nothing match for the most part here but it looked to be setting something up for the future.

Magnus asks if Ethan has his back tonight. Carter thinks Magnus is scared of Abyss and doesn’t answer.

MVP jumps King in the back.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss

This is one fall to a finish and Magnus is defending. Abyss goes after Eric as the champion fires off forearms to Joe against the ropes. Joe comes back with the running backsplash before they head outside. Young slides through Abyss’ legs and dropkicks him to the floor before hitting a suicide dive to take out all three guys. Back in and Eric gets two on Magnus via a high cross body. Abyss splashes his boss by mistake, leaving us with Eric vs. Joe. Magnus and Abyss get back into things as we take a break.

Back with Magnus and Abyss in control as the champion directs the monster on who to attack. Abyss rips at Joe’s face as Magnus drops Eric with an elbow to the face. The slow heel dominance continues as Brian Hebner runs away from Abyss. Eric is sat on the top rope but Magnus wants to do this one himself. Young fights out of a superplex attempt and knocks Abyss back, setting up a double missile dropkick.

Magnus stops the momentum by throwing Eric out to the floor though, only to have Joe come back and take over. A powerslam gets two on Magnus but Eric makes the save. The same move gets the same result on Young with Abyss making the save. There’s a powerslam to Abyss but Joe can’t follow up. Instead he grabs the choke on Magnus but the champion grabs the referee and kicks the Samoan low.

The Black Hole Slam puts Joe down and Magnus whips him knees first into the steps. Young bites his way out of a chokeslam but walks into a Black Hole Slam of his own. Abyss doesn’t cover though as Magnus tells him no. Magnus slowly explains things to Abyss and drops the elbow on Young to retain the title at 14:13.

Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match but the angle was more important than the wrestling. I have a feeling this gives us Joe vs. Magnus again because we still haven’t had a clean fall between them. The problem is that’s not a very interesting story and it’s really starting to bring things down. Eric taking the fall makes by far the most sense though.

Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.

Overall Rating: C-. This Russo booking is already getting old again. The stories aren’t interesting and it’s gimmick overload everywhere else. Why we can’t just have some simple stories and good matches is beyond me, but the fact that it’s worked best for TNA over the years has no bearing on the current product whatsoever. The show wasn’t bad but there’s nothing I want to see going forward, and that’s not good.

Results

Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket

Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex

Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany

MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest

Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 20, 2014: What Does A Yellow Light Mean?

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 20, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The big story coming out of last week is the seemingly face Bully Ray destroying all of the former Team Roode (minus A Double). It also seems that Willow is the dark side of Jeff Hardy and will allow Hardy to get revenge on people that have hurt him in very un-Jeff like ways. As for tonight, the main story is Joe vs. Magnus II with Eric Young and Abyss chained together at ringside. Let’s get to it.

We open with Eric Young trying to fight Abyss in the back. It goes badly for the small man until ODB tries to make a save with a pipe. That also goes as well as you would expect but Eric comes back with a trashcan to the back. The brawl continues as they head further into the back and Eric is sent through some chairs. Young finds a chain and whips Abyss into the arena until they get to ringside with Abyss taking over.

Eric dives into the ring and hits a suicide dive but he can’t follow up. Abyss hammers on him again and takes Young inside where he sets up a chair. Young gets slammed face first onto the chair in a sick looking crash. Abyss goes for the chain but Young bites him in the head and hammers away but charges into a Black Hole Slam. Just hurting Young isn’t enough so Abyss wraps the chain around Young’s throat and chokes him out on the ropes.

Bobby Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

This is joined in progress after a break. Ethan has some flashier gear now with red and blue trunks and white boots. Lashley runs him over with a hard shoulder block and drops Carter with a suplex. Ethan gets pummeled in the corner but avoids a charge to put Lashley in some trouble. It’s short lived though as Lashley slams Ethan off the top.

Carter comes back with some right hands in the corner but gets run over by raw power again. Lashley loads up the spear but Carter bails to the floor. Another clothesline drops him out there but he’s able to get in the referee’s face long enough to kick Lashley low. Carter tries to walk out on the match but Willow jumps him for the DQ at 5:47.

Rating: D+. The chemistry here didn’t work but it wasn’t horrible. Lashley is a guy that could be a huge deal for TNA if he’s used right. However, being used as a guy to keep Ethan Carter III busy until Willow can attack him isn’t the right use of him. The match just kept going until we got to the ending segment, which wasn’t the most entertaining way to kill six minutes.

Jeff loads up the Pillmanizer on the ankle via the ladder but Ethan gets away. Lashley doesn’t seem to mind Willow costing him a match.

Bully Ray is outside Dixie Carter’s office in Nashville as she called him there for a meeting.

Joe comes in to see MVP and vent some frustrations. He blames MVP for the title loss at Lockdown and thinks MVP has cost him the match tonight by letting Young get taken out. MVP promises to find someone to take Eric’s place tonight.

Angelina Love thinks Velvet has had enough time to make a decision so it’s time to find out where she stands.

Ethan yells at Magnus for not having his back and terminates the Carters’ business relationship with the champ. Magnus doesn’t care because he got everything he needed out of Dixie. All he needs is Abyss and Joe will find that out tonight.

Gunner comes out and says he’s proud of what he did at Lockdown. He went to war with one of the toughest men in this company and came out on top. He’s also proud of serving this country and for all of the men and women that served with him. The Marines taught him to never give up and his dad taught him the same thing. Gunner’s dad is in the front row and Gunner thanks him for everything he’s done. They hug and here’s James Storm for an interruption.

Storm thinks he should get an introduction to Gunner’s dad but Papa Gunner doesn’t seem too enthusiastic. James goes off on Gunner for crying on the video about Gunner a few weeks back. Gunner’s grandfather must be glad that he’s dead to see his son and grandson become huge disappointments. Gunner snaps but takes the Last Call. Storm handcuffs Gunner’s arms to the ropes and goes after his dad with a beer bottle to the head.

We immediately cut to Gail Kim saying if Tapa doesn’t win tonight, she’s gone for good.

The Bro Mans and Zema talk about going to a club last night before going in to see Sanada and Tigre Uno. There’s a language barrier but Zema has wrestled in Mexico and Japan so he speaks lucha libre and strong style. Apparently Sanada and Tigre think the Bro Mans are awesome and agree to lay down in two minutes. That’s Zema’s translation at least.

Gail Kim vs. Lei’D Tapa

If Tapa loses she’s gone because Gail says so. Tapa sends Gail across the ring to start before catching her in a spinebuster. Gail counters a powerbomb into a modified dragon sleeper but Tapa powers out. Kim gets slammed face first onto the mat but gets up at two. Some kicks to the leg have Tapa in trouble and Eat Defeat is enough for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: D. Thank goodness she’s gone. Tapa just wasn’t that good and didn’t need to be around at all. I’m not a huge Gail fan but this is the better decision to be sure. The newer Knockouts like Tapa haven’t worked for the most part but Brittany seems to be a step in the right direction. Bad match, but that’s about the norm for Tapa.

Willow loudly says he has no issues in playing games with MVP over the title match, so he won’t chain himself to Abyss. Why try to change when you can embrace the confusion?

Here’s Angelina to ask Velvet for an answer. Velvet thanks Angelina for being a mentor but doesn’t like the idea of being a follower to Angelina’s leadership. Angelina says it was just because she was the veteran and praises Sky for the success she had while Angelina was gone. Love says one is a lonely number but Sky isn’t sure about trusting someone after the drama with Sabin. Then she says the team is back together and they hug.

Angelina says hang on because we need the third piece. She invites Madison Rayne to the ring but Rayne doesn’t seem too thrilled. Angelina introduces all three http://onhealthy.net/product-category/weight-loss/ names and Madison sees the problem: she doesn’t want to be the third girl that the others brought in as a favor. Love tries to get her to change her mind but Madison says she’s out.

Magnus isn’t worried about the title match tonight because he has Abyss. He may be a monster but even monsters react to money. Joe comes up and says he’ll make Magnus tap tonight. Al Snow comes in and breaks it up before things go too far.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Bro Mans are defending. Before the Wolves arrive, the champions try to get Tigre Uno and Sanada to lay down but Tigre says no and the champs are knocked to the floor. The Wolves show up and jump the Bro Mans but the other challengers hit baseball slides to the Bro Mans out as we take a break. Back with everything breaking down until it’s Davey grabbing a rollup on Sanada for two. Off to Eddie as the Wolves rapid fire kicks and chops to put Sanada against the ropes.

Tigre breaks up a double charge and Sanada is almost immediately back up with no apparent damage. Robbie tags himself in but Eddie rams him head first into Davey as the Wolves stay in control. Tigre comes in to face Robbie and walks into a clothesline as the champions take over. Jesse comes in and gorilla presses Tigre as Zema plays sound effects. Robbie gets two off a knee drop but Tigre comes back with a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog.

A double tag brings in Sanada to work over Jesse but Zema grabs the X-Division Title for a qiuck photo op. Sanada dives on Zema, leaving Tigre to climb the ropes and armdrag Davey down. A powerbomb/Backstabber combo from the Wolves gets two on Tigre but the Bro Mans make the save and hit the Bro Down on Tigre for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual insane three way but it did its job well. It’s nice to see the Bro Mans get the win after their finishing move instead of just stealing a pin. I can’t imagine the Wolves don’t get the belts for real over the summer and it looks like we might be leading towards Zema vs. Sanada.

Angelina is worried about Madison being angry. Velvet says go talk to her.

Kenny King of the Night promo.

Angelina goes to talk to Madison and talks down to her again. Madison says no again but Angelina grabs her by the hair and destroys Madison before saying she and Velvet are the real Beautiful People.

MVP will be chained to Abyss tonight.

We get a video on Knux of all people, who says he’s heard from a woman he’s been involved with before and thinks it must be serious if she’s calling him. Knux tells us about his family running a carnival and how his dad isn’t cool with Knux’s career path. To be continued.

Bully is still at Dixie’s office and we get a quickly edited video of him lecturing an off camera Dixie. She has her chair turned against the wall as Ray talks about how everyone hates her. Ray goes on about Dixie coming to New York and offering him money to screw over Team MVP but Ray didn’t respect her enough for that. He whips the chair around and of course there’s no one there. Bobby Roode jumps Ray from behind and rams Ray into a wall. Bully is stunned so Roode hits him with a poster to really knock him out.

Abyss has something planned for Joe and MVP tonight. He shows Magnus the tacks in his hand.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

MVP and Abyss are chained together at ringside and Magnus is defending. Joe sends Magnus to the floor before throwing the champion back inside for rapid fire punches and an enziguri in the corner. Back from a break with Magnus in control and putting Joe on the mat for a chinlock. Joe fights up but gets caught with a knee to the ribs.

A powerslam puts Magnus down but Joe can’t follow up. He grabs the Clutch but Magnus breaks free with a jawbreaker, knocking the referee down in the process. Abyss goes for the tacks but MVP sends Abyss into the post and throws the bag of tacks up the ramp. Abyss comes back with a chair and stops a charging Joe with a chair shot. Magnus adds a top rope elbow to retain the title at 11:43.

Rating: C. The match was just there to get to the angle at the end. I like Abyss and Magnus as a beauty and the beast pairing and Magnus’ reliance on Abyss to save him is going to set up a blowoff match down the line. That’s the good side. The bad side however is that blowoff match will be between Magnus and Abyss. This probably shifts Joe away from the Magnus feud….or it would in a regular wrestling company. Odds are we get at least three more matches between them.

Overall Rating: D+. This show felt way too Russoified to me. I know that’s the rumor at the moment but it really does seem like Russo has a hand in creative. We had two instances of handcuffs, a random guy getting a story, and a big brutal fight leading into another segment with no room to breathe.

That’s a big issue with TNA over the years: there’s no time to catch your breath. Look at the opening segment. It’s a ten minute brawl and Eric Young is hanged. They immediately cut to the next segment and act like the previous one wasn’t a big deal at all. The same was true with Gunner’s dad getting laid out. They were IMMEDIATELY on Gail Kim’s promo and there was no time to digest what we just saw.

It’s ok to let a show build on itself instead of packing 25 stories in there. Now to be fair, they only have two hours a week and they’ve cut way down on the wastes of time, but it’s still going too fast. The fans don’t need to be going through a show at a hundred miles an hour and then try to figure out what they just saw. In other words, SLOW DOWN.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Willow interfered

Gail Kim b. Lei’D Tapa – Eat Defeat

Bro Mans b. Wolves and Tigre Uno/Sanada – Bro Down to Tigre

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 13, 2014: Don’t Be A Bully, Be A Good Guy!

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 13, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the first time since October we’re coming off a pay per view and MVP is now in full control. His team won Lethal Lockdown with the help of Bully Ray swerving Dixie Carter by screwing over Team Roode this past Sunday. Other than that Abyss has been revealed as Magnus’ bodyguard/enforcer after saving the title when Samoa Joe had Magnus beaten. Tonight should be a fresh start for the company as we head towards Sacrifice at the end of next month. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Donovan Hill, who passed away at less than ten years old. I’m not sure who that is but he’s called “Our Angel.”

The Bro Mans and Ethan blame Roode for the loss but Roode says blame it on Bully Ray. A plot is hatched to take care of the Bully.

We look at some clips from Lockdown, focusing on the ends of the double main event.

Here’s a happy MVP to open the show. He’s pleased to tell us that Dixieland is officially closed for business. Just a week ago he was the minority owner but now he’s in charge and moving forward. He doesn’t know why Bully Ray did what he did but his past sins are now forgiven and he can compete like everyone else on the roster. MVP will be running this roster with the MVP Principle: Motivate, Validate, Participate. If someone has an issue, they can come deal with it, but he’s willing to give out some physical discipline if necessary.

This brings out Magnus with a rebuttal. He says this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. MVP: “More ridiculous than your title run?” Magnus talks about how Dixie is gone so now we can look at the important things like his title reign. He brings out his associate Abyss (in a new brown mask close to what Kane wore in 2002 and yellow/black trench coat) and agrees with the fans chanting YOU SOLD OUT. Magnus says he isn’t like Jim Mitchell or Eric Young because he’s going to pay Abyss to do whatever he wants.

MVP says Magnus was beaten at Lockdown until Abyss saved him. We should put this conversation on hold though, because we need Samoa Joe out here right now. Joe comes out holding his ribs but MVP says we’re not done yet. Therefore, Joe is still #1 contender and getting a match right now against Abyss.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Joe takes him down and hammers away as we take a quick break. Back with Joe in control and hammering Abyss from one corner to another. He hits the Facewash in the corner but gets caught by a right hand to the injured ribs to change control. Abyss chokes on the ropes and punches in the corner like a monster should be doing.

We hit a quick neck crank but Joe fights out of a chokeslam attempt. A running boot puts Abyss down and there’s the back splash but Joe hurts his ribs again. He’s able to powerslam the monster down but Abyss fights out of a MuscleBuster attempt. Joe jumps from the middle rope into a chokeslam so Abyss goes outside to get Janice. This brings in Eric Young to dropkick Abyss down for the DQ at 9:30.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but too much of it was in the commercial. It didn’t help that Joe was injured for such a long portion. Eric coming in makes sense but it doesn’t really have me fired up for the upcoming blowoff match. They had to get rid of Abyss vs. Joe somehow if they’re keeping Joe going after the title.

JB is in the back for an interview when Angelina Love returns and asks if he missed her.

Bully Ray is on his way but we cut over to Willow for one of his freaky promos that I can’t understand.

Brittany vs. Gail Kim

Brittany is debuting here despite being Santana Garrett on a One Night Only show. We get a quick profile on her, saying she’s a second generation wrestler and admires Madison Rayne. Gail goes off on Brittany but the newcomer comes back with a forearm. Kim takes her down with a quick backbreaker and sends her into the corner for some kicks and shoulders to the ribs. Brittany takes her down with a Russian legsweep and Tapa comes in. She accidentally splashes Gail though and Brittany grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:02.

Post match Gail goes off on Tapa but gets laid out and beaten up with ease.

Bully Ray arrives and gets jumped by Ethan, the Bro Mans and Roode. They choke him out and blast Ray in the head with a big board to leave him laying.

Bro Mans vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Non-title. Zema does the full intro to great comedic effect. We get a video of Great Muta praising Sanada and telling him to make Japan look great. Sanada gets slammed down by Jesse to start and there’s that horn. Off to Tigre who works on Robbie’s arm to the appeal of the crowd. Jesse gorilla presses the masked Tigre and pumps him over and over, only to have Sanada come in with a springboard chop to the head.

A nice double dropkick puts Robbie down and Jesse gets suplexed onto his partner. The tag champs bail to the floor and Sanada backdrops Uno onto them both in a BIG crash. Back in and double missile dropkicks put the Bro Mans down again before Sanada hits a moonsault for the pin on Robbie at 2:50.

Velvet Sky freaks out that Angelina Love is back.

Bully destroys the Bro Mans to get some revenge.

Samuel Shaw is talking to Christy and wants her out there for his rematch with Anderson. He gets annoyed when the cameraman sees him. Christy was never seen or heard in the shot.

Ethan and Spud have a tribute to Dixie up next.

Samoa Joe goes to yell at Eric Young for interfering earlier but says don’t do it again. Eric has gotten Joe a rematch next week against Magnus for the title and Eric will be chained to Abyss.

It’s time for the tribute to Dixie. The fans are glad that she’s gone but Spud is overly emotional. The fans switch to a BORING chant, but Ethan says that just makes Spud want to cry more. Spud talks about how tonight is about how Dixie made everyone feel, including supple young Ethan. Dixie picked him up like Mary lifting Jesus out of the manger and made him the man he is today.

We get a video tribute to Dixie with shots of her smiling and yelling at various people. Then one night it was all taken away in Miami Beach. MVP can take away her power, but he’ll never take her out of our hearts. Spud reads what sounds like the song Dixie until MVP breaks this up. He says Dixie is just in the back shuffling papers now. Over the last few weeks, Spud has grown on him like a fungus or a rash.

Spud and Ethan must be loyal if they put up with Dixie but now it’s time for them to back it up in the ring. Spud says he can’t wrestle because he’s small and the Chief of Staff. MVP says that’s cool because we don’t need a Chief of Staff anymore. He gives Spud a pep talk and Spud wants to fight, so tonight it’s Spud vs. Willow. The announcers just say it’s Jeff Hardy’s alter ego.

Ethan shouldn’t laugh because next week he gets to face Bobby Lashley. Bobby comes out for a staredown and MVP says he’s officially on the roster. Spud yells at Bobby so Lashley bops him with the Dixie portrait. The former Chief of Staff snuggles up to it before Ethan leaves in a huff.

JB is waiting for Ethan behind the curtain and Ethan promises to take out Lashley’s knee next week. Bully Ray jumps him and hits a HARD shot to the head. Ethan takes a hard shot with a plastic board of his own.

Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson

Street fight. Shaw was talking to the upper body of a mannequin with a red wig. Anderson does his intro but Shaw sneaks up in the darkness to jump him before the bell. Anderson comes back with some right hands and but gets whipped into the steps. Samuel drives him back first into the apron and grabs a suplex on the floor.

Anderson finally throws him into the ring and they slug it out some more until Anderson gets the swinging neckbreaker and rolling fireman’s carry. Mr. goes to the corner and grabs the mannequin’s hair, sending Shaw into a panic. He gives it a kiss and tosses it to Shaw who takes his time sitting it down, allowing the Mic Check to hit for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. Why in the world did this need to be a street fight? You could have done the exact same match with a brawl before the bell and thent he exact same finish. Shaw continues to be freaky and good in the role which is more than he could have done on his own. It was fine for a quick match but the gimmick brings it down.

Anderson shouts his name into the mannequin’s face.

Angelina says she’s back for someone special.

Video on the fan parties at house shows.

Willow stares at the camera.

Kenny King of the Night video.

Here’s Angelina for her return speech. She never thought she would hear that music again but it’s great to be back in TNA. She has grown wiser in the time since she left. Her dad told her that she’ll never miss what she has until it’s gone and that’s what happened with TNA. Friendships are more important though so she invites Velvet out here. They hug hello and Angelina says she never got to say goodbye.

Being apart for the last few years has made Angelina realize that Velvet made her who she is in this business. For years, Angel Williams (her ring name outside of TNA) wasn’t getting noticed but as Angelina Love she teamed with Velvet Sky and got noticed. Now every day she’s asked when the Beautiful People are getting back together and Angelina thinks the time is now.

The fans chant YES but Velvet isn’t sure because she’s found herself since Angelina has been gone. She even won the Knockouts Title for the first time and now she thinks she’s ready to move on. There will never be a bond as strong as the Beautiful People had and she wants to move forward. Angelina calls her dude and says there’s a ton of unfinished business for the Beautiful People. Love tries one more time but Velvet says she needs more time.

Willow vs. Rockstar Spud

We’re in early squash mode with Willow hammering away in the corner. A cartwheel splash has Sput in even more trouble and Willow dances a bit. Spud gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Willow gets his umbrella to blast Spud low for the DQ at 2:26.

Willow beats up the referee and pulls out a ladder before Pillmanizing Spud’s leg as revenge for costing Hardy the title. He stomps on it twice and hits a splash from the top of the ladder onto Spud’s chest, hurting the leg again in the process.  Bully Ray comes out as we take a break.

Ray says he can’t believe the fans are cheering for him. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. That happened to him when Anderson Mic Checked him into the coffin. He was going to give an explanation for what happened, but those four guys made this physical. If Roode had won on Sunday, he would have become just another Dixie Carter and that’s the last thing wrestling needs.

Ray wants Roode out here right now so here’s Bobby. He hits the ring and is immediately taken down so Bully can go get the tables. It takes too long though and Roode comes back with a spinebuster before setting up the table. The Roode Bomb is countered and Ray grabs a Cutter. A powerbomb through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with stories making sense and good wrestling to back it up. Ray turning face makes sense and he’s still a good talker so he can back it up. Dixie is hopefully gone and Spud should be off TV as well. That being said, they rushed through the Ray story WAY too fast. Ray getting attacked and getting revenge could be spread out for a month but they did it in two hours. There’s hope for TNA, but I don’t believe they can make it last longer than two months.

Results

Abyss b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Eric Young interfered

Brittany b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Sanada/Tigre Uno b. Bro Mans – Moonsault to Robbie

Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Mic Check

Rockstar Spud b. Willow via DQ when Willow hit Spud with an umbrella

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Wrestler of the Day – March 6: Mr. Anderson

Today’s Wrestler of the Day is Mr. Anderson.  Allow me to repeat myself.  Today’s Wrestler of the Day is Mr. Anderson.  Now laugh, because that’s funny or something.

While still in the indies, Anderson did some jobbing on the lower level WWE programs, including Velocity in August 2003.

Sean O’Haire vs. Ken Anderson

Sean slams him down to start and puts on a front facelock as the announcers talk about Ken Anderson of the Cincinnati Bengals. Anderson comes back with his double revoution spinning kick to the head but O’Haire comes back with a big clothesline. Sean kicks at the leg and hits the chinlock before kicking Anderson HARD in the back. Ken comes back with a nice dropkick but gets caught by another wicked clothesline. A gorilla press into the Widowmaker (O’Haire lifts him up for an AA but slams him back down instead of flipping him over) is enough to pin Anderson.

Rating: D+. This was just background noise while the announcers talked about the big stories in WWE at the moment. O’Haire is a guy I always liked and he had a ton of wated potential. Anderson didn’t get to do much here but his kicked looked good. The match was nothing more than a squash though.

Anderson signed with WWE in February 2005 and made his real debut on Smackdown in August 2005. After facing Eddie Guerrero in Eddie’s last match, Anderson would injure himself on a European tour and be out of action for about six months. Once back he started squashing jobbers again, eventually accepting an open challenge from Batista for Great American Bash 2006.

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

This was during the Kennedy is great and keeps beating ex-world champions but never wins the title himself because he keeps getting hurt period. This was supposed to be Mark Henry against Batista but he tore his knee or something and is out for a few months. Batista is coming back from an injury as well and it’s his first PPV match since December. Batista shows intelligence and jumps him during the Mic Drop. All Big Dave to start and they head to the floor. Kennedy goes into the steps and is busted a bit.

Ok so it’s more than a bit as there’s blood flowing down his head. He goes for a walk but tries to sneak in on Batista, only to get speared right back down. Out to the floor again and Kennedy rakes the eyes to take over. He chokes away because he really isn’t much as far as offense at this point. Batista is busted a bit.

Kennedy pounds him down in the corner and a bit more on the floor. Back in it’s time for a chinlock because those work so well right? He works on the arm which was the injury that put Batista out. For some reason he slaps Big Dave and pain is imminent. He sends Kennedy into the post three times then chokes to a DQ. Kennedy claims another former world champion.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl here with a weak ending. This is another example of where they booked themselves into a corner and the only thing they could do was have an ending like this because they couldn’t have either guy lose clean. Batista would get the title back in November while Kennedy would do the same stuff over and over again until getting hurt next year….again.

After dominating the midcard and having success in the main event for so long, Kennedy would receive a US Title shot against Finlay on September 1, 2006.

US Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Finlay is defending and Bobby Lashley is a surprise addition to make it a three way. Kennedy tries to form an alliance with Lashley but Bobby pulls him into a belly to belly suplex for his efforts. Finlay clotheslines Bobby down to take over and Kennedy comes in to help on the double teaming. Kennedy quickly turns on the champ and sends him into the post before hitting the Ken-Ton Bomb for two on Lashley.

Finlay comes right back and puts Kennedy in a Boston crab but Lashley is back to run them both over. Kennedy is sent outside and Bobby hiptosses the champion down. A big clothesline puts Finlay outside as well and Lashley rules the ring. Everyone gets back inside but Bobby quickly knocks the champion to the floor again.

Lashley hammers on Kennedy but gets rolled up by Finlay and thrown out to the floor. Kennedy kicks away at Lashley’s ribs but has to throw Finlay to the floor for about the fourth time in five minutes. Bobby heads outside as well but Kennedy kicks both of them down. Kennedy gets caught in the ring skirt though and Bobby scores with a delayed vertical suplex on Mr. Hornswoggle looks out from under the ring as we take a break.

Back with Lashley in control of Kennedy but Mr. escapes a powerslam. Finlay takes Lashley’s leg out to give Kennedy a two count and all three guys are down. Lashley gets double teamed in the corner again but the other two get in a fight over who gets to put the boots to Bobby. They get along well enough to beat on Lashley even more until Finlay clotheslines Kennedy and throws him to the floor.

Horny goes after Kennedy but Lashley gets back up and runs everyone over. A big spear drops Kennedy and there’s a backdrop for Finlay. Kennedy brings in a chair but the distraction lets Finlay grab that Irish club. Lashley spears him down though and nails a powerslam, only to have Kennedy roll Bobby up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nice match here but throwing everyone to the floor over and over again got annoying after awhile. Kennedy stealing the title made sense as he was always the guy that found a way to win after getting beaten on for long stretches in the match. Good stuff here but not a great match.

Next up in the parade of big matches was a match against the Undertaker at No Mercy 2006.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Just like his feud with Batista, Kennedy would win the first two matches against Undertaker but lose the blowoff match. Next up on his march through world champions would be ECW Champion Lashley at No Way Out 2007.

ECW Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

This is in the Kennedy is awesome and keeps beating world champions but can’t beat one in a title match period. Lashley comes out first and Kennedy tries to jump him but gets beaten down instead. Cole is almost unrecognizable at this point with his voice being so messed up. We make it into the ring with Lashley completely in control.

Back to the floor again with JBL talking about how great both guys’ futures will be. And never mind as we fight in the ring for awhile. Lashley uses pure power to destroy Kennedy for the most part as we wait for the inevitable mistake to allow Kennedy to take over. He gets a Rack, which someone needs to bring back as a finisher. Maybe Big Zeke? Kennedy rakes the eyes and then goes after the knee to take over.

Kennedy gets a reverse figure four, as in Lashley is on his stomach and Kennedy is on his back. He switches over to a half crab which is important. By switching holds like that you can still do very little but you get enough variety to keep things interesting. Lashley gets back into it but can’t use the leg.

JBL is doing the vast amount of the talking now so Cole can rest his throat a bit. Lashley can’t get a belly to belly and Kennedy counters into a DDT for a long two. Kenton Bomb misses as it eats knees and here comes the bald dude. The Boo/Yay stuff goes to Lashley and he starts throwing Kennedy around for fun.

Lashley gets the Rack again (complete with the line of “made famous by a guy that wasn’t nearly the full package like this guy is” from JBL) and drops to his knees for Shock Treatment ala Abyss. And there goes the referee. Kennedy heads to the floor and grabs a chair. Bobby gets popped by it but the referee doesn’t see it. He gets the chair to drill Kennedy which is good for a DQ win for Kennedy. Cole can’t talk like at all anymore.

Rating: C. Decent match for the most part but the ending was pretty weak. Kennedy took it to Lashley but he had no way to finish people for the most part yet which was his major downfall for the most part. He didn’t have a finisher until the Mic Check so he had to rely on rollups or quick pins which never worked for the most part. Decent match, bad ending.

Wrestlemania 23 was just over a month later and Kennedy was in Money in the Bank.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Anderson goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Anderson. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Anderson.

Anderson pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Anderson before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Later on in the year Kennedy would turn heel again and face Shawn Michaels at Armageddon 2007.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels

Kennedy says he’ll win pre match. Just a respect match here as far as I can tell. Kennedy takes over to start with a lot of basic offense focused on the back. Shawn tries to clear his head so Kennedy hammers on him a lot. Shawn is like wait a minute. I’m Shawn Michaels so let me chop you and sell like I’ve been shot and have a bad stomach ache. Due to the back work, Shawn can’t hit a suplex.

Kennedy tries a Mic Check but can’t it gets countered, injuring Kenderson’s elbow. Shawn, ever the psychologist out there, works on it. See how easy it is to do stuff that makes sense? Now why can so few people get that concept? Kennedy keeps trying to break the hold and finally sends both of them to the floor. That doesn’t go well either as his hand is slammed into the post.

Back inside and Shawn works on the hand and the arm. Shawn grabs a wristlock but Kennedy punches him through the ropes. That’s a new one. Back outside again and Shawn goes into the post. Well not really as he kind of slams against it. I don’t think there’s enough room for Shawn’s body inside the post. A running boot to a seated Shawn in the corner sets up a backbreaker for two.

In a nice bit of thinking from Kennedy, he jumps at Shawn from the middle rope but sees Shawn get his foot up so Kennedy stops his momentum and lands on his feet, avoiding the boot. He then sets for an elbow drop but Shawn rolls out of the way. Kennedy didn’t drop it right then but rather once Shawn rolled over, hitting Shawn in the bad back. Who says heels can’t be smart?

Shawn starts his comeback and chops away so he can hit the forearm and nipup. At least he’s putting a hand on his back for some selling. If he has a weakness, it’s his lack of selling injuries later in the match. There’s the top rope elbow and Shawn starts tuning up the band. I’ve never gotten how no one can hear the fans chanting along or hear Shawn stomping on the mat.

Either way he catches the kick and rolls up Shawn for two. Shawn gets a rollup of his own for the same. Kennedy hits a slingshot to send Shawn into the post and talks some trash. He punches Shawn with the left hand for no apparent reason and hurts it again, letting Sweet Chin Music (bad camera angle shows that it doesn’t hit at all, which is really good control from Shawn) end Kennedy.

Rating: B-. I liked this one as there was enough psychology peppered through it to make things work. Kennedy reinjuring his hand was a nice touch but you kind of have to wonder why he’d use his left hand for a punch. Kennedy wasn’t exactly known for his in ring abilities so this was a nice little surprise.

Soon after it was off to TNA, where Anderson would quickly get involved in a feud with Kurt Angle, leading to a big match at Lockdown.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson

This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.

Anderson accidentally leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it.

There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good. Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it.

Angle goes for the door but stops. Dang it Kurt don’t be freaking stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too. Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage.

Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it. Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check.

We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out with it in a reference to Anderson choking him out in the ladder match on Impact before walking out. GREAT match.

Rating: A+. Yeah I said it. Great match all around and the ending made sense given the way Anderson won the ladder match. This has been a great show and it needed a great match to get it over the hump. It just got that. Angle is still one of the best in the world and he can bring it.

After a very long summer angle involving THEY, Anderson would get one of the first shots at the now heel Jeff Hardy’s TNA World Title. First up though, he had to defeat Matt Morgan at Genesis 2011.

Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I really hope this has an actual ending instead of a screwjob of some point.  Morgan grabs a headlock to start after the big match intros.  There was a fifteen minute time limit announced and I have a bad feeling that’ll come into play.  All of a sudden we’re talking about Ray Lewis and what he has next to his bed.  You get multiple sports in this company I guess.

They head to the floor with Anderson in trouble.  They have a ton of time here which means they’re likely going to stretch this out as far as they can.  A main point here is that Anderson’s head might not be right which has people scared.  Anderson works on the leg for a long time.  Tazz thinks Immortal wants Anderson to win here because he has a chink in his armor.  Makes sense.

Morgan gets a swinging chokeslam off the top and a clothesline to take over completely.  They slug it out from their knees and neither guy can take over.  Carbon Footprint out of nowhere takes Anderson down for two and Morgan isn’t happy.  Since one finisher gets two the other one has to as well.  They hit heads and Anderson gets a small package for the pin.  Yep that’s it.

Rating: C. Not a bad match I guess but this is supposed to be the major selling point for the show?  The ending came out of nowhere and felt completely flat if that makes sense.  This was ok but I still don’t buy either of these guys as a main event threat.  Nothing great at all but I think it’s setting this up.

Bischoff comes out and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW!

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I have a really bad feeling the title is about to change hands.  Jeff comes to the ring smoking….a joint?  I must be seeing things.  Maybe they’re afraid of the drug charges?  Twist of Hate gets two as that move is killed more and more every match.  Another Twist of Hate gets two.  Anderson sends him to the floor by the belt as they’re making this kind of competitive.

Morgan takes Hardy’s head off with the discus clothesline out of nowhere.  He sends Hardy in for a close two.  They slug it out and Anderson takes over with a neckbreaker for two.  Jeff grabs a chair but Foley pops up to grab it away.  Here’s Flair to counteract Foley and get us our run-in quorum of the main event.  Hardy gets crotched on the top but manages to shove Anderson off.  Swanton gets two.

Anderson, of course, is bleeding from the head.  Hardy’s jeans are ripped.  He takes Anderson down and calls for Matt.  RVD runs out for the fourth run-in of the match and fights Matt off to the back.  Bischoff becomes the seventh person involved in the match by bringing in a chair but gets caught in a Mic Check.  Twist of Hate is countered into the Mic Check to give Anderson the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess of a match with all kinds of people coming in while the selling from both guys was awful.  Also, no one can ever complain about SuperCena again after that performance by Anderson.  Anderson winning the title should have been a huge moment, but instead it’s going to be something that people see when they turn on Impact Thursday.  I’d be ticked off if I cared about this company, which is waning rapidly.

 

Anderson would lose the title back to Hardy a month later before getting another shot at Sting at Slammiversary 2011.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Sting comes in and jumps Anderson during the entrance.  He’s in all red here and has that paint on his face making him look like the Joker.  All Sting so far as Anderson can’t even get his shirt off.  Into the crowd they go and Anderson goes into a wall.  There’s black/gray around Sting’s mouth for some reason.  Anderson gets a quick reversal and that gets him nowhere at all as Sting pounds on him even more.

Up the steps they go even further and this is wasting a ton of time.  To the ring finally and Sting is sent into the post.  Anderson sends Sting’s hand into the steps and then pulls the arm around the post for awhile.  More F Bombs dropped as an armbar goes on Sting.  Clothesline puts Sting down again for two.  Anderson wastes forever and does Sting’s chest pound before missing a horrible Stinger Splash.

Modified world’s strongest slam gets two.  Anderson is covering a lot here.  Back to the armbar which makes some sense here at least.  Sting starts his comeback and pounds on his chest as he is known to do at times.  Clothesline sets up a backdrop and the splash in the corner.  Scorpion is set up….and here’s Bischoff.  Another Stinger Splash misses and Anderson gets a very close two.

Sting gets a regular DDT with the bad arm for two.  He tries something close to a Banzai Drop but gets caught in the little stingers which gets two for Anderson.  Mic Check hits on the second attempt for two.  Stinger Splash and the Death Drop hit but Bischoff interferes and messes with the count so there was only a two count instead of the three.  Low blow RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE sets up the Mic Check and we have a new champion.  Wow indeed.

Rating: C. The chicanery hits again.  I really hope this doesn’t set up Anderson joining Immortal because it really seemed like it was dying there for awhile.  Bischoff is the source of drama again which is his custom.  Hopefully this sticks around so we don’t have Sting vs. Hogan for the title.  Surprising ending and it more or less locks up Angle winning tonight in the main event.

 

There wouldn’t be much else for Anderson for the rest of 2011, Anderson would spend most of 2012 chasing midcard titles. After missing most of the fall, he would join Aces and 8’s in December. He would serve as Vice President and not do much aside from not winning anything in the Bound For Glory Series. Anderson finally split from Aces and 8’s, earning himself a title shot against Bully Ray at No Surrender 2013.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Last man standing with Ray defending. Anderson jumps Ray on the ramp to start and takes Ray into the ring for a whip into the corner. The champion is sent back to the floor as this is one sided so far. Ray is sent into the announce table and barricade so he hides behind Christy, complete with Hemme’s top opening (it’s similar to Lita’s outfits in the Rated R Superstar era) but the power of tape saving her.

Bully gets in a cheap shot and sends Anderson into the steps before asking Brooke for a chair. It takes forever to get there and Anderson gets in a shot to the ribs to take the chair away. He blasts the champion in the back and pounds him back into the ring. Ray goes up but gets hit low, allowing Anderson to hit a rolling senton. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Anderson here and him telling himself to get the tables makes them cheer even louder. Even Tenay is cheering for Anderson.

Ray takes him down with a boot to the face and gets in a chair shot of his own. The table is set up in the corner as we take a break. Back with Ray yelling at Hebner but Earl yells right back at him, looking like a heart attack is imminent. Ray shoves him into the buckle to knock him out but walks into a Mic Check onto the chair to lay him out. There’s no referee though so Ray gets up and hits a Bully Cutter to lay both guys down.

Cue Bischoff, Brisco and Knux to stare at Ray before stalking Anderson. Before they touch him, Brooke comes in with a low blow. Ray bosses them around and a Shield TripleBomb lays Anderson out. Ray helps Hebner up but Anderson is up at nine. Anderson comes back with right hands but Ray drops him. Why the referee isn’t counting Anderson when he’s down is anyone’s guess. Ray knocks Anderson out with the chain, drawing blood. Anderson makes it up to his feet AGAIN but staggers in front of the table in the corner. A spear through the table is enough to retain the title at 17:30.

Rating: B. This match did something that is the best sign you can have in wrestling: they had me believing that something was possible when there was no way it was going to happen. The crowd was WAY into Anderson here and that’s a good sign for TNA. They need some fresh blood at the top and it’s been awhile since Anderson was up there. Good stuff here but the crowd carried a lot of it.

We’ll wrap it up with their rematch from Turning Point 2013, with the future of Aces and 8’s on the line.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

No DQ and it’s career vs. Aces and 8’s. Anderson is in long tights for the first time I can ever remember. The roster comes out to watch the match from the stage. Anderson jumps Ray during big match intros and hits him low while shouting his name a lot. They head to the floor with Ray ramming him into the steps but stopping to breathe a bit. Ray pulls out a table and we take our last break. Back with Anderson being suplexed into the ring and chopped loudly in the corner. There’s a table set up in the corner as well.

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Knux saves Ray from being piledriven on the concrete but gets piledriven down onto the mats for his efforts. Back inside and Anderson hits the rolling senton but Ray fights out of the Mic Check. A spear puts Anderson through the table in the corner but it’s only good for two. Tazz hands Brooke the hammer but Anderson intercepts it and blasts Ray in the head. The Mic Check ends Aces and 8’s at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here but Aces and 8’s hasn’t meant anything in months so this isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m glad they’re gone for good and it’s a good feather in the cap for Anderson, but this is hardly some huge moment that changes wrestling forever. Fun match though.

Over his entire career, I’ve seen the potential in Anderson one time: the night he interrupted William Regal’s coronation as King of the Ring. You might notice I didn’t talk about that moment here, because it wound up meaning nothing. That’s Anderson in a nutshell: wasted potential. He hasn’t really won much in his career (two TNA World Titles and the US Title. That’s it for major promotions) and keeps getting sidelined with injuries. There are far worse wrestlers out there, but Anderson really never broke through that glass ceiling he spent so many years pounding on.

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Lockdown 2014: Swerving The Swerver

Lockdown 2014
Date: March 9, 2014
Location: BankUnited Center, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s been five months since the last pay per view so this isn’t something TNA is used to anymore. We have a double main event tonight with Magnus defending the World Title against Samoa Joe and Team MVP vs. Team Dixie in Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. The Lethal Lockdown match also has Jeff Hardy returning for the first time in a few months. All of the matches tonight are in the cage so let’s get to it.

We see Magnus arriving earlier today.

The opening video talks about being alone with your greatest enemies inside the cage.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Here’s Spud to introduce Dixie as real royalty. She calls herself a real queen, unlike that stupid King James. Dixie rants about how MVP and the people have driven her to do something she’s going to regret. She built this company into the international success that it is. Earlier this week she went to New York to get a little insurance policy to ensure victory tonight. Jeff Hardy walked out on this company and therefore breached his contract. Therefore, he’s banned from the building tonight and now we can enjoy the rest of the show.

Velvet Sky and Eric Young are answering internet questions. Eric thinks everything changes after tonight.

We recap Shaw vs. Anderson. Shaw is obsessed with Christy Hemme and Anderson is protecting her from harm. Samuel thinks this means Anderson is preventing him from being with Christy and has been attacking him as a result.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is escape only. Before Anderson comes out, Shaw climbs to the top of the cage and says if Christy doesn’t come out, he’s going to professionally end it all. Before he can jump though, Anderson comes out and points out the obvious: the cage isn’t high enough to do a lot of damage. All that will do is break his ankle and make Shaw look even goofier. Anderson offers to beat Shaw up a bit and then take him somewhere really high to jump.

We’re finally ready to go with Anderson taking over for a few moments but running into a boot in the corner. Christy is at ringside now. An early Mic Check is blocked but Anderson takes him down with a gutwrench suplex. Shaw chokes Anderson in the corner but can’t quite get over the cage. Anderson goes after him but gets rammed face first into the cage a few times and knocked down to the mat. Shaw still can’t climb fast enough though and Anderson runs the corner for a belly to back superplex.

Shaw sends him face first into the cage but Anderson sends him into the cage door, knocking it open and drilling Earl Hebner in the process. There’s the Mic Check to Shaw and a second one sends him face first into the buckle. Anderson calls him a frickin weirdo and climbs the cage but Shaw reaches through a hole in the cage and pulls Christy in.

Shaw starts crawling on the mat ala Kevin Sullivan at the 1988 Great American Bash. Anderson makes it to the floor but there’s no referee. Mr. gets the key from Hebner and opens the door for the save but Shaw hits Anderson low and chokes him out before leaving for the win at 10:12.

Rating: C. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to with Shaw getting creepier and creepier every week. The longer this story goes the more likely it seems that Christy joins Shaw at some point, but it doesn’t have quite the impact since she and Anderson are just friends. Not much of a match but the story and characters are good. It’s very nice to see someone like Anderson go from one feud right into another like people did back in the day instead of just floating around and doing nothing at all.

Team Roode isn’t sure what the insurance policy is and argue about who will own what percentage of the company after they win.

We quickly look at Ethan Carter III injuring Kurt Angle, putting Kurt out of the match tonight.

Here’s Ethan who has issued an open challenge for Angle’s spot. Ethan talks about growing up wanting to be the best and to beat the best. In 1996, Kurt Angle was the best and Ethan took him out twice now. The fans say he can’t wrestle but Ethan comes back with chants of “I’m very good” and “I disagree.” By the way this is our third promo tonight and it’s getting clear that they’re stalling, despite having eight matches. He asks anyone to come out here but warns the fans not to hijack this show.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Well that’s a surprise. Ethan insists that Lashley isn’t on the roster but Bobby powerslams him down and hits a big spear. There was no bell so it wasn’t a match, meaning Ethan is still undefeated.

Kenny King’s King of the Night promo.

Magnus says he’s all alone tonight but he’s used to that. He has to battle against Joe on his own tonight and he’s fighting a lone crusade. Something doesn’t sit well with him tonight because everyone is talking about what Joe is going to do to him. No one has asked what Magnus is going to do to Joe. Tonight, Joe bows down to the reign of Magnus.

Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Pin/submission to win here. Tigre Uno is Extreme Tiger from AAA. They trade some very fast wristlocks to start before they both go for dropkicks and crash to the mat. Back up and they miss each other a few times until Tigre dropkicks Manik down. Manik comes out of the corner with a headscissors before throwing him to the top rope, only to have Tigre catch himself on the cage. A moonsault gets two on Manik but Tigre misses a charge and goes flying into the steel.

Manik gets two off a belly to back suplex and drives some knees into Tigre’s back. There’s a surfboard hold from Manik and he drops Tigre backwards for two. Manik gets two more off a dropkick and a backbreaker gets the same. Tigre comes back by jumping up to the top rope and coming down with a hurricanrana.

A spinwheel kick and running DDT drop Manik again but he can’t get a sunset bomb off the top. Instead Manik dropkicks him in the back and gets two of his own off a sitout powerbomb. They trade standing switches and Tigre tries a capture suplex, only to drop Manik down onto his head. A quick Sabretooth (moonsault into a 450) Splash is enough to give Tigre the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C+. Take two guys and let them fly around the ring for eight minutes. It worked every night in WCW and it’s going to work every single time you use it in wrestling. Tigre Uno looked good out there and will be a nice addition to the division, bringing the roster up to what, five people? Good stuff here but this show needs something that matters soon.

We recap Gunner vs. Storm. Gunner took the Feast or Fired briefcase from him and Storm was livid, eventually turning on Gunner to cost him the World Title match against Magnus. Tonight it’s last man standing.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anythin gbut I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

We look at Dixie’s promo again because that’s what we do in TNA.

Team MVP is ready for revenge but don’t like the idea of being patient. Richards wants to get Aries for injuring his shoulder but MVP tells him to keep his composure. MVP promises to unleash the Wolves and the hunt will be on.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne. They used to be best friends but titles came between them. How many times has TNA used that story for this division in recent years?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Rayne is defending. Gail quickly takes her down to start and chokes with a boot but Madison gets a quick rollup for two. Kim fakes her out on a middle rope cross body and tries to leave, only to have Madison get above her and use her legs to ram Gail’s head into the cage. Madison gets pulled off the cage and down to the mat in a crash for two but she’s still able to make a save as Gail tries to leave.

Kim bends her over a knee for a backbreaker but Rayne stretches her legs up for a kick to the head. Madison sends her face first into the cage and drops her with some forearms and a low dropkick. Both girls climb the cage but Gail brings her down with a neckbreaker in a big crash. Madison makes a save to prevent an escape but gets leveraged into the cage for two. They both climb again and Gail is sent down, setting up a top rope spear for the pin to retain Madison’s title at 8:55.

Rating: C. Madison is getting better in the ring and is of course very nice to look at so the match wasn’t all that bad. The cage added something with the collisions here but it’s still nothing that blew me away. The division is dying for some fresh stories but that’s been the case for years now.

Joe says he’s dominated the last few months to earn this shot. He once considered Magnus to be a brother but now Magnus has thrown that away for the quick and easy path to the title. Joe will make the pain tangible and bash it into Magnus’ skull over and over again.

We recap Joe vs. Magnus which was already covered in Joe’s promo. Magnus was part of the Main Event Mafia but joined Dixie Carter to become champion. Tonight it’s knockout or submission only to win.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

Magnus is defending. Joe gets in the first offense with a hard kick to the thigh but the champion takes him down with a headlock. In a unique move, Joe grabs a wristlock and headbutts Magnus’ hand before putting on a hammerlock. A hard back elbow to the jaw drops Magnus again and Joe peppers him with right hands in the corner. Joe chops him down in the corner and hits the Facewash.

Magnus avoids the running backsplash and hammers away before raking Joe’s eyes. The champion misses a charge and goes into the cage so Joe rams him face first into the steel over and over. The ramming draws blood and Joe goes right after it but misses a charge, allowing the Englishman to send him face first into the steel over and over. Now Joe is busted open and Magnus locks on the Figure Four.

Joe turns it over but Magnus immediately lets go and puts on a camel clutch. That’s powered out of as well but Magnus slaps on a sleeper. Joe picks him up into the air and drops Magnus down onto his back, putting both guys down. Magnus loses a forearm slugout but gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Samoan. Joe comes right back with a slam and the backsplash followed by a cross armbreaker.

Magnus rolls out and heads up top and shoves Joe down before dropping the big elbow. Joe gets back to his feet and wins a slugout with his hard slaps before crotching Magnus down on the top. There’s the MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch but Abyss’ hand comes up through the ring and pulls Joe through the mat. After a few seconds, a furious Joe slowly comes up through the ring and chokes Magnus in the corner. Abyss comes up through the hole and hits Joe in the stomach with Janice before a Black Hole Slam sets up the Koquina Clutch from Magnus for the win at 19:28.

Rating: B-. Well the Authority has its Kane now. I don’t think it was a big surprise that there were shenanigans at the end but the question was what would happen. Abyss being the corporate monster gives him something to do but it’s not exactly something new. Then again, this is TNA where we have to have an evil alliance on top of the company because that’s almost all they know how to do.

Post match Eric Young asks Abyss what he’s thinking but Magnus says get him out of here.

Dixie sends Spud to get the insurance policy.  Roode comes in and says he’s nervous but Dixie says there’s insurance.  They tell each other not to screw this up.

We recap Lethal Lockdown with both teams fighting for control of the company.  Aries swerved MVP to join Team Roode but MVP brought back Jeff Hardy to even things out.

Team MVP vs. Team Roode

MVP, Wolves, Jeff Hardy

Bobby Roode, Bro Mans, Austin Aries

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames and the winner gets control of TNA (Roode is fighting for Dixie and gets 10% ownership if his team wins). Two men start for five minutes followed by a member of Team Roode (due to winning a match on Impact) enters for a two minute advantage. After two minutes a member of Team MVP enters to even things out for two minutes. This alternates until all eight are in when a roof with weapons is lowered and then it’s one fall to a finish, including pins.

Aries and the hometown boy MVP get things going with MVP kicking Aries in the face. Austin comes back with a bulldog and the Last Chancery before laying on the ropes. A missile dropkick doesn’t work as MVP catches him in an exploder suplex and the Ballin Elbow but Aries takes him out before it lands. Aries hits a running dropkick but MVP slams him down and hammers away. Austin escapes an arm hold but misses an elbow drop as Robbie E comes in for the advantage after four minutes.

MVP immediately drops him on his face but Aries gets in a cheap shot and the heels take over. A top rope ax handle puts MVP down and E drops a middle rope elbow to the face. They talk trash to MVP until Eddie Edwards ties things up. Eddie cleans house as you expect a fresh man to do in a Lethal Lockdown match. DJ Zema Ion tries to interfere but gets knocked off the cage wall in a big bump. The good guys control for a bit until the clock runs out with Jesse Godderz giving Team Roode a 3-2 advantage.

The Bro Mans take over without much happening until Davey Richards and his bad arm ties things up. Davey of course gives his team the advantage again with the fast paced double team offense as the WarGames formula is firmly in place here. Stereo half crabs have the Bro Mans in trouble until Aries clotheslines the Wolves from behind. Roode and his awesome sleeveless coat makes it 4-3. The captains go face to face until Roode takes MVP down with a spinebuster.

The heels take complete control until the clock comes on and it’s Willow (Jeff Hardy’s new gimmick, which looks like a black and white Ultimo Dragon mask and really high pants) to tie things up and complete both teams. He comes in as the lights are out and dives off the top of the cage. If they don’t want us to know he’s Hardy, they might have wanted to give him a full body suit to cover the big green tattoo. Thankfully Taz and Tenay drop hints about who it is as the roof with the weapons lower…..and here’s Dixie.

She introduces the insurance policy as the special referee: Bully Ray. As in the guy that spent a year and a half trying to destroy her company. Team MVP waits for Ray at the door but Team Roode jumps them from behind. The weapons are brought in with Ray finding a table under the ring. Dixie sits in a chair on the stage to watch the carnage as it’s all Team Roode. Bobby puts Davey’s bad arm in the Crossface with Bully asking if he wants to give up and talking trash at the same time.

Team Roode all has front facelocks on their opponents but a triple backdrop breaks them free. Richards is broken out quickly and MVP makes sure to hit the Ballin Elbow on Roode. The weapons are used more extensively and Willow loads up a powerbomb on Aries but throws him face first into the cage instead. Robbie is tied up in the Tree of Woe as Ray is just standing in the corner watching. The Wolves set up a trashcan in front of Robbie’s face for an AWESOME double Van Terminator.

Aries is sat in a chair and kicked over and over until he grabs Richards for a BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE CHAIR. Willow breaks up the save but Aries puts him on a trashcan, only to have Willow move before the 450 only hits the can. A Twist of Fate and Swanton gets a very delayed two on Aries as Roode makes the save and sends Willow into the cage. The table is set up in the cage but Ray gets in the way of the Roode Bomb to MVP. Ray and Roode stare each other down until Ray gives him a Bully Bomb. MVP hits a quick Drive By on Roode for the pin at 26:53.

Rating: B+. The match started slowly but those big spots at the end were great. MVP winning is the right call and fairly obvious (I don’t believe heels have EVER won Lethal Lockdown) but at least there was some drama in there. I don’t get the point of having Hardy be Willow if they’re going to just acknowledge he’s Hardy in a costume. Good main event and a match the show needed.

Dixie and Spud go to the cage but Spud pulls her away from Ray. Bully puts Roode through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining but the ending didn’t do much for me. The New York thing was pretty obvious if you thought about it long enough and Lethal Lockdown was the same as it always was. Overall it wasn’t bad, but like everything else with TNA it didn’t feel like it made things better.

The company is still in the same place: a promotion with a not bad story but nothing all that exciting because it’s most of the same guys just being rotated into different spots with about one new guy being added to the main event every year. At least the Authority is broken (for now) and we don’t have some evil owner. Then again this is TNA so I give them until June to have Dixie back on TV and in power.

Results

Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu b. Bad Influence/Chris Sabin – Moonsault to Daniels

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw escaped the cage

Tigre Uno b. Manik – Sabretooth Splash

Gunner b. James Storm – Superplex through two chairs

Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim – Top rope spear

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Koquina Clutch

Team MVP b. Team Roode – Drive By to Roode

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