Impact Wrestling – January 24, 2013: Aces And 8’s Looks Strong. You Read That Right.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 24, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

We open with a long recap from last week.

Jesse hypes up Tara while bragging about himself.

Video on Daniels being around since the dawn of TNA.

Daniels says this is a turning point for his career tonight.

Tazz is back on commentary.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Velvet Sky

Open Fight Night is back next week.

Sting has something to say later on.

Zema Ion/Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam/Christian York

York and Ion start things off as Tazz talks about which of these guys would be a good addition to the team. Off to Van Dam who goes after King on the apron and gets in trouble for his efforts. King comes in legally and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Back to Ion for his usual lame stuff as we hear about Bellator for the 100th time in two weeks.

Ion misses a 450 and everything breaks down. Rob loads up the split legged moonsault on Zema but King crotches him, only to get elbowed back down. Rob gets kicked off the top and Ion tags himself in. A tornado DDT is countered but King hits a springboard Blockbuster to give Ion the pin at 5:09.

Tazz leaves to take a phone call.

Bully and Brooke arrive and will do their talking in the ring.

We recap the wedding. Again.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

Post break Anderson is panicking over the cage match but D-Von says drink beer and calm down. He has a plan apparently.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels

Post match Tazz distracts Hardy and a masked biker hits Jeff in the knee with a hammer to end the show.

Results

Tara b. Velvet Sky – Tara pinned Sky after Jesse tripped her

Zema Ion/Kenny King b. Rob Van Dam/Christian York – Ion pinned York after a springboard Blockbuster from King

Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Bulldog

Jeff Hardy b. Christopher Daniels – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013: We Got A Wedding And A New Member Of Aces And 8’s.

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Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence

The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.

Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.

Christian York vs. Kenny King

Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.

We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.

Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.

We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.

We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.

Results

James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian

Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Genesis 2013: Aces and 8’s Are Inept, Hardy Is Champion, Everything Keeps Going Along

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Date: January 13, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

The opening video is about a new beginning. How original guys.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house with Three Amigos on Ryan. Everything breaks down and Chavo staggers Morgan with a missile dropkick. The champs hit a double dropkick to send Morgan staggering over Ryan before Hernandez hits a SICK (and mostly botched) sitout powerbomb on Joey. The Frog Splash retains the titles at 11:30.

Morgan glares at Ryan post match.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe

Christian York vs. Kenny King

York hits a leg lariat and a knee to the face for two but gets sent to the floor. King misses a corkscrew plancha attempt though and gets caught in a headscissors to take him down. Back in and York tries a tornado DDT but gets sent out to the floor instead. Back in and King shows off a bit before hooking a chinlock. A spin kick is caught in a kind of suplex by York and both guys are down. York grabs a cravate and hooks a Russian legsweep for no cover but a running kick to the face gets two.

They fight to the apron and York hits a cartwheel kick to knock Kenny to the floor. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but walks into a jumping spinning side kick followed by a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Christian goes up for a cross body but Kenny rolls through into a cover. His cheating is caught and York suplexes him down again. A running roll into the corner misses King and a pair of knees to the ribs gets two. King pulls the hair again to take over and tries la majistral, but York lays down on him for the pin at 10:15.

King lays out York with a reverse AA as Van Dam comes out.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian York

They tussle back and forth until Van Dam hits a springboard kick from the middle rope for two. York gets two off a surprise rollup but gets kicked in the face again. The Five Star misses and another rollup gets two. Rob puts him on the top rope for a jumping kick to the face followed by the Five Star for the pin at 5:33.

Van Dam applauds York post match.

D-Von vs. Joseph Park

D-Von blasts Park with the belt post match.

Knockouts Gauntlet Match

Mickie James is in next and she takes Gail down quickly, only to get caught by a running shoulder in the corner. A neckbreaker puts Gail down as do an enziguri and a flapjack. We head to the floor for a headscissors from James before heading inside where Gail molests the referee. A rollup on Mickie with another handful of tights gets another pin.

Daniels and Kaz make fun of James Storm and drink an appletini. Storm apparently has permission to worship them now.

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels

The arm gets sent into the buckle and Daniels gyrates his pelvis a bit. Daniels pounds away on the arm but Storm punches back with his good arm. More cranking on the arm slows James right down again and Daniels grabs an armbar. By that I mean he holds the thing for like two minutes before Storm fights up and hooks a Russian legsweep. A backdrop puts Daniels down again and a top rope elbow gets two for the Cowboy.

We recap the proposal from Impact because you knew we were going to get to this at some point tonight.

We recap Doc vs. Sting, which is the result of a beatdown on Sting from a few weeks ago.

Sting vs. Doc

Post match Ray runs out to save Sting from the bikers who surround the ring.

Roode says he and Aries are going to work together to eliminate Hardy and the spotlight can shine where it should.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

Roode gets sent to the floor and kicked into the railing by Hardy but Austin kicks Jeff to the outside as well. Aries accidentally (I think?) crushes Roode against the barricade with the suicide dive before Hardy hits the Poetry in Motion to Aries against the barricade. The crowd is finally waking up here. Jeff loads up the Swanton on Roode but Aries breaks it up, only to get suplexed from the apron back inside onto Roode. A splash gets two on Bobby and Aries escapes the Twist.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan – Frog Splash to Ryan

Mr. Anderson b. Samoa Joe – Mic Check

Christian York b. Kenny King – Cradle

Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash

D-Von b. Joseph Park – Rollup

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim, Mickie James, ODB and Miss Tessmacher – In Yo Face to Kim

Christopher Daniels b. James Storm – STO

Sting b. Doc – Scorpion Death Drop

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode – Swanton to Aries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – January 10, 2013: My Head Just Exploded

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Date: January 10, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Zema Ion vs. Kenny King

The winner of this faces Christian York at Genesis with the winner getting a title shot at Van Dam later in the night. King sends him to the floor but misses a dive, followed immediately by Ion sliding back in and hitting a flip dive of his own. Back in and King gets two off a spinwheel kick as we talk about the new PPV system. Ion guillotines King on the top rope and gets two off a DDT. King tries the Royal Flush but gets taken down instead. Ion loads up a 450 but misses, and by misses I mean hits King as King rolls away. King pops up and hits the Royal Flush to advance to Genesis at 3:05.

Robbie E tries to get Tessmacher into a mixed tag later but she wants to tag with Robbie T. Tessmacher to E: “You disgust me!” E: “Why does every girl say that to me???”

Tara/Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher

T and Tessmacher dance post match and Robbie E LOSES IT. They kiss and E is about to have a heart attack. WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG FOR THEM TO BE THIS FUNNY???

Brian Cage talks about Gut Check.

Gut Check: Brian Cage vs. Jay Bradley

Aries and Roode talk about how awesome their shirts are and argue about what to wear to the ring. An argument over who is better and deserves to be the champion follows. If I heard Aries right, he calls them a wet dream team. Now they argue over who gets to go to the ring first. Funny stuff here.

Video on the guys in the triple threat on Sunday.

Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy/James Storm

So again, the bikers and their matches on Sunday of Sting vs. Doc and Park vs. likely Knox takes precedent over the world title. Roode and Hardy start things off with both guys getting in some quick shots, leading to a stalemate. Off to Aries via an aggressive tag so he can show off some lighter trunks. Aries takes hardy to the mat and rides him around to show off a bit. Hardy comes back with a headscissors and the good guys double team their villains for a bit. Aries gets hung upside down from the ropes by his feet before arguing with Roode for not pulling him down.

Roode goes up but jumps into a boot, which combined with a mule kick by Jeff brings in Storm off the hot tag. Storm cleans house to big reactions from the crowd. An Alabama Slam puts Aries down as does a neckbreaker to Roode. Closing Time (Codebreaker) sends Aries to the floor but Daniels and Kaz run in to distract Storm and prevent the Last Call. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner on Roode but Aries blasts Jeff in the back with the belt for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C+. This was perfectly fine for what it was supposed to be: a basic main event style tag match to set up a triple threat as well as a singles match on Sunday. The idea of two challengers being in an argument over the title on Sunday and allowing Hardy to overcome the odds to retain is a good idea.

Roode and Aries fight over the belt post match.

Brooke tells Mark not to come here tonight but asks him to come pick her up. Ok then.

Hardy monologues about Sunday.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting comes out and wants Knox RIGHT NOW. Well after a break that is of course.

Sting vs. Mike Knox

Results

Kenny King b. Zema Ion – Royal Flush

Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Jesse Godderz – Powerbomb to Godderz

Jay Bradley b. Brian King – Boomstick

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries via DQ when Aries hit Hardy with a belt

Sting b. Mike Knox – Scorpion Death Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – January 3, 2013: Just What Aces and 8’s Needs

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Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz

The opening recap kills some time.

We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.

Kazarian vs. James Storm

Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.

Brooke has no comment on her dad.

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.

Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez

Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?

We see the Knockouts stretching.

We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.

Post break we recap what we just saw.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher

ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.

We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing

Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – November 1, 2012: Has Interesting Wrestling Been Outlawed And No One Told Me?

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Date: November 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash, Todd Kennely

Jesse is annoyed at having to fight ODB tonight but Tara says she has his back. Jesse makes her sterilize him. This guy is still annoying.

TV Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Post break Joe rants about wanting to fight Magnus with No DQ.

We recap Aries attacking Hardy after the title defense against Angle and stealing the belt.

Hardy is putting his paint on and we get those inner thoughts of his again.

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Willie Urbina/Hector Guerrero

We get the Christian York Gut Check video from last week.

ODB wants Eric here and wants her fried chicken. For the love of goodness GET ANOTHER JOKE.

ODB vs. Jessie Godderz

Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E

We run down the Turning Point card.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Van Dam

D-Von vs. Bully Ray

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus hit Joe with a wrench

Zema Ion b. Christian York – Submission Impossible

Jeff Hardy b. Robbie E – Swanton

Joey Ryan b. Rob Van Dam – Side Roll

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – October 25, 2012: TNA Has The Opposite Problem Of WWE

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Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Todd Kenely, Mike Tenay, Taz

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

As Van Dam celebrates, Matt Morgan takes his head off with the Carbon Footprint. Joey Ryan has the X Title and poses with it. Morgan says this is what Hogan wanted.

TV Title: Robbie T vs. Samoa Joe

Mr. Anderson vs. Austin Aries

Tenay and Taz take over in what is supposed to be a big deal I think. We recap the show up to this point.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Post match more making out occurs until Brooke comes out to shake her head. Apparently ODB is calling out Jesse next week on Open Fight Night.

Ryan says he wants the X Title and Morgan says Hogan started this.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

The Angle Slam gets two so Jeff hits two straight Twists and the Swanton for just two. Jeff charges at Kurt and gets backdropped to the floor. Angle is spitting up blood. There go the straps as Hardy is thrown back in. Another Slam is countered into a rollup for the pin at 14:29 to keep the belt on Hardy.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion – Five Star Frog Splash

Samoa Joe b. Robbie T – Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Last Chancery

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




D-Von Was Behind Aces And 8’s

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Impact Wrestling – September 20, 2012: They’re Running Out Of Places To Go With This Story

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Date: September 20, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. AJ Styles/Kurt Angle

Hogan comes out (quoting Jay Z of all people) and makes the triple threat for the PPV.

Hogan is on the phone with somebody who is apparently Joseph Park. Park is five cars back but will be here with the evidence tonight.

Samoa Joe talks about BFG 08 and diving out of the sky box onto Sting.

Evan Markopolis (screw trying to spell that one right) talks about wrestling since he was 13.

Gut Check: Evan Markopolis vs. Douglas Williams

We recap the latest issues with Roode vs. Storm, these being from No Surrender.

They head to the ring and we actually get a bell.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

They keep fighting up to the set again and then into the back. Storm rams him into various objects and they head out the door.

Brooke Hogan promises consequences for Tara next week.

RVD talks about his BFG matches against Jerry Lynn and Abyss at BFG.

The TV Title is decided next week. No word on who is in the match.

Video on Hardy and how much BFG means to him.

Austin Aries vs. Bully Ray

Post match Ray hugs Hebner in a funny bit. Ray holds up the title and goes to clock Aries with it but Hardy makes the save. Hardy holds up the title, causing Aries to freak out on him to end the show.

Results

AJ Styles/Kurt Angle vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez went to a no contest when Daniels and Kazarian interfered

Douglas Williams b. Evan Markopolis – Arm Trap Headlock

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest

Bully Ray b. Austin Aries – Pin after a shot with a chain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – September 13, 2012: We’ve Got Ourselves A Mole

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Date: September 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We open with a recap of the PPV with the voiceover guy.

Aries congratulates Hardy for winning the Series, especially given how much he went through on Sunday. Hardy is a man of few words, but the fans love him. The fans cheer for Aries as well, and at Bound For Glory, it seems like Aries has something Hardy wants. Aries sees it as Hardy has something Aries wants.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Sonjay Dutt

We recap Roode and Storm from Sunday.

We get a clip from BFG 09 where AJ beat Sting to retain the title. The tagline of Memories Are Waiting is great.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

Christopher Daniels vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Feeling out process to start with Guerrero hooking a headlock and an over the shoulder backbreaker for two. Daniels heads to the floor and avoids a kick but gets taken out by a running flip attack off the apron. Back in and Daniels takes over and works on the ribs of Chavo a bit. A backbreaker puts Chavo down but he pops back up and starts his comeback. Daniels gets hiptossed to the floor and grabs his belt but the swing with it misses. Chavo rolls some suplexes and the Frog Splash gets the pin at 6:30.

Aaron Markopoulis is the next Gut Check guy.

Gail Kim talks about winning the first Knockouts Title.

Another video from Sunday and the main event.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets the shot at BFG. Ray jumps Hardy during his posing on the ropes to get us on fast. Hardy sends him to the floor and hits a plancha as we take a break. Back with Ray dropping an elbow for two and backdropping Hardy. A splash gets two as well but Jeff tries the Twist. Bully shoves him shoulder first into the post and Jeff is in trouble. Hardy rolls in to break the count but it ticks Ray off even more and he drops a forearm on the back from the apron.

Back in and Ray goes for the chops in the corner. Dang those are loud considering Jeff has a top on. A corner splash from Ray hits but Jeff counters the second and hits Whisper in the Wind. They slug it out from their knees with Jeff taking over with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs to set up the basement dropkick for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a Bubba Bomb for two

Results

Zema Ion b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Styles Clash

Chavo Guerrero b. Christopher Daniels – Frog Splash

Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews