Impact Wrestling – June 22, 2023: Please Don’t Do This

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 22, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Things took a turn last week when #1 contender Nick Aldis laid out World Champion Alex Shelley. This adds quite the wrinkle to their upcoming Slammiversary title match and I’m curious to see how all of that goes. Other than that, Scott D’Amore is ready to get his hands on Bully Ray next month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Good Hands/Brian Myers

Before the match, Skyler says OVE stands for Ohio vs. Everything. Well he’ll take everything from tooth decay to an IRS audit over Ohio. Crist kicks Skyler down to start and hands it off to Callihan for a double spinebuster. Fulton comes in for a double chokeslam/World’s Strongest Slam combination (that was cool) to take the villains down.

A Myers distraction takes Crist down though and the Good Hands drop a double elbow for two. Myers comes in with a suplex for one and we hit the chinlock. Crist fights up so Skyler comes back in for a slam to cut it off again. A forearm finally gives Crist a breather and he nips up for the tag off to Callihan. Cue Moose to crotch Crist on top so Callihan and Fulton go after him. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C+. Rather formula based match here and the ending helps establish Moose and Myers as a team who could be something down the line. OVE feels almost like a blast from the past but they’re good enough for a spot like this. As long as they’re away from the Design, it’s kind of hard to complain that much.

Eddie Edwards comes up to talk to Frankie Kazarian and says Frankie can trust him tonight in their tag match. Kazarian doesn’t quite buy that so Eddie asks what he has to do. Eddie doesn’t need to worry about it but he swears on the grave of Killer Kowalski that he won’t do anything to Kazarian. That’s enough for Frankie, but he doesn’t seem completely convinced.

Sami Callihan is livid when Rich Swann comes up to him in the back. Callihan wants to know where Swann was and Swann says he was busy at Against All Odds. From now on, Swann has his back as his top priority. Callihan approves.

Here is Dirty Dango for a chat. Dango: “Man do I hate professional wrestling.” And that’s it before his match.

Dirty Dango vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

Dango shoulders him over to start and dances a bit, allowing Gujjar to come back up with a shoulder. Some dropkicks put Dango on the floor for a slingshot dive but the Gargoyle spear misses back inside. Dango hits a layout reverse DDT for the pin at 2:00.

Post match Dango grabs a phone and says something we can’t hear. Cue Santino Marella, with Gujjar sending Dango inside for the Cobra.

The Death Dollz run into the returning Nevaeh and aren’t sure if they should trust her. They don’t have much of a choice though, and it’s time to learn the parts of the story they don’t know. Courtney Rush loves an origin story….so the Dollz runs off without her.

Zicky Dice passes his test to become an official referee. The referee giving him his test treats it as a serious deal but Johnny Swinger gets rid of him. Swinger flat out says this is so he can cheat to get his fifty wins.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. The Design

Gresham comes in off a very early blind tag to dropkick Angels in the back, allowing Bailey to kick him in the face. Kon comes in to wreck both of them though and Angels adds a half and half suplex. We take a break and come back with Gresham getting away to bring Bailey back in for the kicks to Kon. The bouncing kicks set up the kick to the head and a missile dropkick puts Kon down instead.

Kon is fine enough to muscle Bailey up from the mat for a slam though and the Design takes right back over. That doesn’t last long as Gresham comes in for the save, allowing Bailey to armbreaker Angels. With that broken up, Bailey moonsaults onto Kon on the floor. Back in and Bailey gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, but Deaner stops to yell at Angels. The distraction causes Angels to miss his frog splash, allowing Bailey to hit the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon finishes Angels at 9:28.

Rating: C+. This match did one important thing and that is getting us closer to the destruction of the Design. The team has LONG outlived its usefulness (which wasn’t much in the first place) and now they finally seem to be going away. Gresham and Bailey were good enough as a team, but I don’t need them becoming the next dream team to go after the titles.

Flashback Moment Of The Week: Magnus (Nick Aldis) beats Jeff Hardy in the Dixieland match to win the World Title on December 18, 2013.

Gisele Shaw and Gail Kim are going to be on the Amazing Race: Canada. We don’t have any clips or anything similar to hype it up, but it’s true.

Trinity isn’t happy with Gisele Shaw getting a Knockouts Title shot on the upcoming Australian tour but she’s fine with the Slammiversary match being a triple threat if it has to be. For now though, she’ll beat up Jai Vidal next week instead.

Nick Aldis has sent in a statement saying he won’t be here tonight due to fear of his own safety. Alex Shelley comes in and doesn’t buy it, saying he wants Aldis here. Aldis will be here next week so Shelley leaves, only to come back with a superkick when interviewer Jimmy Jacobs runs his mouth too much.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

Feeling out process to start and Kelly seems pleased with the thought of violence. A shot to the throat and a pump kick give Kelly two and a running kick to the chest drops Wilde again. King low bridges Kelly to the floor though and Wilde gets to kick away back inside. The surfboard goes on but is broken up just as fast, allowing Kelly to suplex her into the corner. They fight over a rollup for two each until Kelly pulls her into the Killer Klutch. That’s broken up as well so Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth match with Kelly getting a win for a change. I could go for her getting a stronger push as she has felt like someone who could go a lot higher rather quickly. For now at least she is getting a win and if she can find a partner, we could have some fresh challengers for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They certainly could use some new challengers so that’s certainly an idea.

Post match the beatdown is on but Masha Slamovich comes in to save Kelly. The villains bail and Kelly seems to approve.

We recap Scott D’Amore attacking Bully Ray last week, setting up the tag match with PCO and Steve Maclin at Slammiversary.

D’Amore says he is no longer the president so he takes off the fancy stuff before saying he isn’t what he once was. His prime, if he had one, wasn’t as good as Ray or Maclin, but he coached a lot of people over the years and is a five time Canadian Heavyweight Champion. He’ll break any rule or cross any line, and since he brought Ray into this company, it’s time he took him out. The sleeves are rolled up and now he’s ready for war. Good promo here, as D’Amore sounds like a man who has to do something.

Here is Joe Hendry to say….extraterrestrials have made contact with Earth. It makes sense to do it now because he is Digital Media Champion. Those aliens are trying to say the two most important words: WE BELIEVE.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura

Hendry is defending and here are Kenny King and Sheldon Jean to interrupt. The former sits in on commentary as Hendry works on a headlock. Some armdrags have Hendry down, causing him to bow in respect. We take a break and come back with the camera on King before looking at Uemura fighting out of a chinlock. A belly to back suplex gives Uemura two but Hendry is back up to strike it out. Hendry rolls through a high crossbody and it’s the Standing Ovation to retain the title at 9:07.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far as the break and then the camera sitting on King didn’t do it any favors. King vs. Hendry is fine for a likely title feud and it wouldn’t shock me to see King get the title. At some point he has to win something new and the Digital Media Title would work well. As for Uemura, he continues to be a completely fine hand in the ring, though he needs to actually win a few matches at some point before the impact fades.

Slammiversary and Australian shows rundown.

Bully Ray/Steve Maclin vs. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards

Alisha Edwards is here with Kazarian/Eddie. Maclin and Eddie start things off with Maclin dropping him off a running elbow. Eddie is fine enough to pull him over for a slingshot legdrop from Kazarian. Maclin sends him into the corner where Ray crotches Kazarian against the post and we take a break.

Back with Kazarian being knocked into the corner again as the slow being is on. A suplex gives Maclin two and we hit the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Eddie comes back in to chop away and a double suplex drops Ray. Eddie’s suicide dive hits Ray and Kazarian’s slingshot hurricanrana takes Maclin down on the floor. Back in and Maclin knocks Eddie to the floor where Ray grabs a chair. Instead Ray chases Alisha off and it’s Maclin chinlocking Eddie again.

An Irish Curse gives Maclin two and Ray comes back in to punch him down. Eddie gets up and crossbodies Maclin for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Kazarian to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. Kazarian drops Maclin for two as Eddie and Ray come in (sans tags) to rake each others’ eyes. Ray shoves Eddie into Kazarian, who is right back with the chickenwing. Eddie is back up and accidentally superkicks Kazarian, allowing Maclin and Ray to hit a belly to back neckbreaker for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: B-. Nice enough main event here, and I kind of like having the teams who don’t like each other not being able to win their first match against each a team of former World Champions. Eddie vs. Kazarian should be a fun match at Slammiversary assuming that is the way they go. Other than that, we had a back and forth match with the action doing well, though it never quite got to that next level.

The winners are happy and the losers aren’t to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped but this show wasn’t quite up to the standards of the usual stuff they do around here. Slammiversary is about three weeks away and you can see a lot of the card from here, though that doesn’t make it the most interesting. The lack of Aldis after last week’s big turn didn’t help either and it wasn’t the most interesting offering as a result. It’s not bad, but more of a skippable show than usual this week.

Results
Brian Myers/Good Hands b. OVE – Roster Cut to Crist
Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Layout reverse DDT
Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey b. The Design – Ultimate Weapon to Angels
Killer Kelly b. Taylor Wilde – Rollup
Joe Hendry b. Yuya Uemura – Standing Ovation
Bully Ray/Steve Maclin b. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards – Belly to back neckbreaker to Kazarian

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2023: They Talk A Lot

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 15, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Against All Odds and my goodness things went nuts. First of all, Alex Shelley actually won the World Title from Steve Maclin in a heck of a surprise. If that’s not enough for the Motor City Machine Guns, Chris Sabin won the X-Division Title from Trey Miguel, cementing them as maybe the best tag team Impact has ever had. Nick Aldis is waiting for Shelley at Slammiversary so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Against All Odds.

Here are the Motor City Machine Guns to a heck of a reception. Chris Sabin talks about how he had a dream that the two of them went into Against All Odds and came out with the gold. Not tag team gold as you might expect, but instead he won the X-Division Title and Alex Shelley won the World Title. Then Sabin realized that it was a dream come true. Shelley: “Yup.” Shelley talks about how he ugly cried when he won the title because he was finally good enough to win the big one.

When he mentors someone, they become World Champions, like Kazuchika Okada, Trey Miguel, Kushida, the Young Bucks, Seth Rollins or Jay White. At some point though, it needed to be his turn and he had to prove it to himself. Now he can say he is a World Champion and he did it because of the fans, everyone in the locker room, everyone in New Japan, everyone in Ring Of Honor and people like Sabin. Shelley: “Ask me if I’m a World Champion.” Sabin: “My friend, my brother, are you a World Champion?” Shelley: “Yup.”

This is the Machine Gun Era, but here is Nick Aldis to interrupt. Aldis says the two of them did it at Against All Odds and he was one of those people who was there cheering for Shelley when it was his night. He’s proud of Shelley and yes, Shelley deserves the title. When Aldis first got here, he was drowning and was going to be on a list of “remember that guy” names. Then Shelley pulled him up, so you can add his name to the list of World Champions that Shelley mentored.

Aldis kept climbing though, and now it’s the two of them for the World Title, and no matter who wins, there will be a World Champion that this company will be proud of. As Shelley’s friend though, Aldis is going to do everything he can to make sure it’s him. Cue Trey Miguel to interrupt because he isn’t happy with the lack of respect. Sabin invites him in to say this to his face, but Miguel turns him down.

Cue Kenny King and Sheldon Jean, with King saying Miguel is the only one out here telling any truth. King accuses the three guys in the ring of jumping the line and getting a bunch of shots, so Sabin invites the other three in to see what happens. The villains come towards the ring but cue Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Jai Vidal of all people to interrupt. Shaw says the spotlight should be on her and asks Shelley if he deserves all of this. Shelley: “Yup.” He thinks her problem is with Trinity so here is Trinity to interrupt.

Vidal threatens Trinity, who threatens him right back, so here id Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt. Purrazzo says she now has over 500 days as Knockouts Champions so she should be in the World Champion discussion. Trinity: “Until Slammiversary.” Cue Santino Marella to make the big ten person tag match for later tonight. This took about twenty minutes and it’s been happening more recently around here. Please don’t be the new norm, because it’s way too WWE instead of Impact.

Steve Maclin is livid about his loss and shouts that he should still be the World Champion. He shoves the camera away.

We look at Sami Callihan hitting Deaner in the face with a baseball bat and piledriving him onto a barbed wire board to beat him at Against All Odds.

Deaner wants to know who should be blamed for the Design’s loss. That would be Angels, who doesn’t like being bossed around this much. He has done everything Deaner has asked, and then Deaner (accidentally) hit him in the face with a baseball bat at Against All Odds. It was Deaner’s fault that they lost so the argument is on. Kon says this is exactly what Callihan wants so they need to get it together. Cool. Just do it on another show.

Moose vs. Rich Swann

Swann tries to move around to start but gets sent into the corner a few times. Some dropkicks stagger Moose a bit and a middle rope version staggers him even more. The low bridge sends Moose outside but he pulls a dive out of the air and powerbombs Swann onto the apron. Moose doesn’t let him go though and sends him into the barricade, followed by a toss powerbomb into the ropes.

We take a break and come back with Moose chopping away in the corner. Moose’s release Rock Bottom gets two and they head outside, where Swann ducks a chop that only hits post instead. Back in and Moose charges into a boot to the face, setting up a DDT to leave them both down.

Swann goes up top but gets superplex back down for a huge crash. We take another break and come back with Moose running the corner, only to dive into a cutter in some great timing. Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two but the middle rope 450 misses. The powerbomb gives Moose two but another spear is countered into a jackknife cover for the pin at 17:32.

Rating: B. These two were going back and forth and as usual, power vs. speed works well. It also helps to have this much extra time, allowing them to get things going more than usual. At the same time, it is a little strange to see Moose getting pinned clean, though I could go with more of Swann getting a singles push, as he is one of those recently untapped resources that Impact has.

On BTI, Heath took out Champagne Singh and Shera.

Heath talks about how he came here and then got hurt for 11 months. Then he had to save his best friend from a cult. Then Rhino got hurt, but then he came back and they won the Tag Team Titles. Now though, Rhino is hurt again, so he has to figure out what is next for him. Everyone is getting a wake up call.

Moose is annoyed when he runs into Brian Myers, who brings up Moose’s recent losses. Moose doesn’t want to hear this, but Myers offers to reform their team, which has Moose thinking.

Here is Bully Ray for a chat, complete with a piece of paper in his hand. Ray says he is a victim of the atrocious management around here, along with a victim of unnecessary violence at Against All Odds at the hands of Scott D’Amore. He is a victim of the system around here, and now he demands justice.

Cue D’Amore, with Ray demanding answers. D’Amore says when you’re a jerk to everyone, someone is going to be a jerk back. D’Amore mocks him for having a letter of complaint but reveals that he went before the board. They told him he was unbecoming of a president, which has Ray looking near stunned. Now all Ray wants is him to apologize, but D’Amore apparently has to take a leave of absence as president.

That’s music to his ears, with Ray saying D’Amore’s bosses screwed D’Amore over. Then D’Amore takes him down for some not so great right hands, which draws out Steve Maclin for the save. The beatdown is on, with Ray choking with a chair. The lights go out though and the lightning means it’s PCO time. A punch knocks the chair into Ray’s face and Maclin is knocked outside as well. Hold on though, as D’Amore has made one more match: a tag match between the four of them at Slammiversary.

Post break Maclin yells at Ray, who tells him to act like a Marine. Ray says that PCO (or maybe D’Amore) is just a man, but Frankie Kazarian pops up to say he’s a man who just beat them both up. Eddie Edwards (with Alisha Edwards) comes in to get between them and a match seems to be teased. With Ray and Maclin gone, Kazarian wants to know what is up with that. Eddie says they don’t like each other, but they’ll always have a bond, so they’re good. Kazarian (and Alisha) is confused but they’re at peace.

Decay vs. Bullet Club

Non-title. Austin gets taken into the corner for a kick to the head from Taurus and Steve gets in some hair pulling of his own. A kick gets Austin out of trouble but Taurus comes in sans tag and headbutts him down. Steve bites both champs but gets kicked out of the air for his trouble. Bey comes in and it’s the Art of Finesse into the Fold to finish Steve at 3:08.

Rating: C. I could have gone for more of this but that is the case with most of the matches the Club has these days. They really have gone into the area of being a great team, which is more than I was expecting when they were put together. This was shorter than it should have been, as Decay can put on a good match when they are given the chance, which isn’t the case in a match that barely breaks three minutes.

Post match the Club goes to the back and runs into the Motor City Machine Guns, with a showdown teased.

We get a preview of an upcoming documentary on Bhupinder Gujjar.

Gujjar is excited when Dirty Dango comes in to say no one would want to watch that. He’s assuming that Gujjar will sit around and hope that someone makes him a star. Gujjar calls him a bitter a****** and leaves. Dango: “I thought the backstage interview girls were supposed to be hot. No?”

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Trinity/Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Gisele Shaw

Purrazzo and Shaw go to the mat to start and come up to a standoff with some trash talk. Shaw runs into an elbow to the face and Trinity comes in to unload with forearms. Shaw drives her into the corner though and it’s Evans coming in for some slams. Trinity breaks that up and Purrazzo comes back in for a Fujiwara armbar. Shaw’s save is cut off by Trinity with Starstruck but Miguel makes a save.

We take a break and come back with Aldis fighting out of King’s headlock. Sabin comes in to forearm Miguel and twists Jean’s knee across the middle rope for a bonus. Miguel sends Sabin into the corner and Jean’s knee is fine enough to come in for some elbows to the chest. Sabin is sent outside for a big group stomping, with Sabin’s partners being held back by the referee.

Back in and King stays on Sabin’s arm, allowing Miguel to come in for a front facelock. King cuts off a comeback attempt but a middle rope tornado DDT plants King for a breather. Shelley gets the hot tag and picks up the pace, including an overhead belly to belly to Miguel. A super atomic drop has Miguel gyrating quite a bit so Shelley pulls him into the Border City Stretch. Everything breaks down and King kicks Shelton by mistake. Aldis gives King a Michinoku Driver and Shell Shock finishes Jean at 18:38.

Rating: B-. This was a long match and at the end of the day, all that mattered was getting Shelley a win. Shelley got his big moment earlier in the night and he gets a pin as champion here. The Trinity vs. Purrazzo match is already set, though adding Shaw in wouldn’t be a crazy idea given what they have been doing. At the same time, another Miguel vs. Sabin match, maybe in something like Ultimate X, would fit in nicely at Slammiversary as well. All in all, there was a lot going on here, but it could all be setting up things for later.

Post match Aldis holds the title up to Shelley….and then blasts him with it to turn heel and end the show. That’s going to be better for him, as the respectable former champion was only so good.

Overall Rating: C+. They went in a rather different direction here with some LONG talking segments and only three matches. There was a lot of television time given to the matches and there were ten people in the main event, but it was like bunching several things together in some big lumps. I’m hoping that this isn’t the new norm as it’s not bad, but it’s not as good as it was before. Go with more acting and less talking, as it suits Impact a lot better. The Machine Guns era is off to an ok start, but they might be going in a shaky direction.

Results
Rich Swann b. Moose – Jackknife rollup
Bullet Club b. Decay – Fold to Steve
Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo b. Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Kenny King/Sheldon Jean – Shell Shock to Jean

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2023

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow this is the go home show for Against All Odds, despite being less than two weeks removed from Under Siege. The main event of tomorrow’s show will see Steve Maclin defending the World Title against Alex Shelley, so odds are the hard push is on tonight. Other than that, Bully Ray is still the big bad and needs someone to come after him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Jason Hotch

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and John Skyler are here too. Before the match, Myers and Skyler promise that after Against All Odds, the Tag Team Titles will be in good hands. Hotch tries a rollup to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. Bey chops away in the corner but a springboard is countered with a shove over the top to the floor. Back in and Bey hits a backdrop before kicking him in the head. The Art of Finesse is countered into a heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Hotch two. Bey is back with a kick to the face but Hotch tries la majistral. That’s fine with Bey, who stacks him up for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: B-. The word I think of when I see a Bey match is “smooth”. He can make anything he does in the ring look good and that was the case again here, as he and Hotch got to go out there and do their thing for a bit with nothing looking bad. The title match should be good as well and I could go for more of any combination of these guys.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the champs being left laying.

Heath is back and ready for the 8-4-1 match. Tonight, he’ll take out Champagne Singh to get ready for tomorrow.

Dirty Dango talks about how he has money now and doesn’t need to be the dancing clown again. He doesn’t like wrestlers texting him but he’ll happily take money to not show up. The idea of shaking hands with sweaty awkward 18-35 year old men in some armory somewhere sounds like ALL KINDS of fun. A 5X Dirty Dango shirt won’t cover up the smell so take a shower ok? He doesn’t care about winning the Digital Media Title. If he wins it, he’ll list it on eBay and use the proceeds to go to Hawaii. With a girl. This stuff is glorious.

Champagne Singh vs. Heath

Shera is here with Singh. Heath takes him into the corner for some forearms to start but Shera offers a distraction. That lets Singh snapmare him into the ropes to start banging up the ribs, giving Singh a target. Heath slips out of a powerbomb and hits a powerslam, setting up the Wake Up Call for the pin at 2:51.

The Design promises war with Sami Callihan, Jake Crist and whomever else they can find. Yeah yeah blood and violence and carnage and all that good stuff.

Here is Joe Hendry to say he’s ready to face the man who broke his nose, Sheldon Jean. That would be the reality star under the tutelage of another reality star, Kenny King. It isn’t that simple for Jean, especially because we believe.

Joe Hendry vs. Sheldon Jean

Non-title and King is here with Jean. Hendry takes Jean down fast to start but a King distraction lets Jean get in a kick to the face. We take a break and come back with Hendry powering out of a guillotine choke and hitting a suplex. The fall away slam looks to set up the Standing Ovation but King offers a distraction. Not that it matters as a powerbomb sets up the Standing Ovation finishes Jean off at 7:32.

Rating: C. Jean meets the description of a good hand and that should be enough to keep him on the roster for a long while to come. Eventually he’ll get a win or two and that is all he needs to make him a bit of a star. Hendry on the other hand has so much charisma and now he is backing up up with a better look and the ability in the ring.

Post match Hendry calls out Dirty Dango, who appears to say that he hates pro wrestling. He’ll pass on the fighting (it’s his day off), but Hendry has a new video about Dango, who seems to have lost his mind. Hendry plans to figure out what happened to make Dango nuts, sending us into a hilarious history of Dango’s career (he started by pinning Chris Jericho 1-2-3, then he was impersonating a cop with Breeze, then he couldn’t get laid on Total Divas). With the song over, Jean and King jump Hendry but Santino Marella comes out to make the save with the Cobra to Jean. Those songs are AMAZING and this was great again.

Gisele Shaw and company brag about taking out Jordynne Grace and think it should be a warning to Trinity. This is her house, and rent is due. Revenge is sworn at Against All Odds.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Wilde can’t do much with Jessicka to start so it’s off to Rush, who yells at King during the staredown. Rush takes her down but gets sent into the corner so King can take over. A swinging suplex gives King two but Rush gets over for the tag to Jessicka. That’s fine with Wilde, who sends her into the corner to take over as well as the Dollz can’t keep anything going here. Jessicka clotheslines her way to freedom and brings Rush back in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and King gets in a cheap shot to Rush, setting up a big boot/spinebuster to retain at 6:25.

Rating: C. As usual, the lack of depth in the division causes problems around here, as it’s hard to get around the fact that the division is the champs and whomever they are defending against at the moment. This should get rid of the Dollz for the time being, but who is there left for the Coven to face? I’m sure some wrestlers will be thrown together, but that doesn’t help the underlying problem.

Video on Alex Shelley becoming #1 contender and finally getting his World Title shot last August. Now he knows what it takes to come up short and that was a learning experience. We hear about the wrestlers that Shelley has mentored or influenced over the years but when is it about him? It doesn’t need to be this week, but Shelley almost has to win the title, just based off of how it has been built up.

Steve Maclin talks about all of the wrestlers who want the title but Bully Ray interrupts. Ray says he likes Maclin, who just won’t listen. Don’t worry though, because he won’t come for Maclin’s title until Slammiversary.

Killer Kelly vs. Masha Slamovich in a Dog Collar match is set for Against All Odds.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Gujjar takes him down to start but Miguel hits a kick to the face. With Miguel on the floor, Gujjar loads up a dive, which is knocked out of the air. Back in and a slingshot splash sets up a Lionsault to give Miguel one. Gujjar knocks him down again but misses a frog splashes, allowing Miguel to kick him down. Miguel misses what looked to be a top rope double stomp but comes right back with the Lightning Spiral for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. This was just a quick “Trey Miguel is great” win before he defends the title again tomorrow. Miguel is getting pretty high up there with some of the records and it’s pretty awesome to see him doing so well. If nothing else, having someone with a consistent track record holding a title is a good thing, and I’d like to see Miguel move up a bit after losing the title.

Post match Miguel says he doesn’t respect Chris Sabin and declares himself the a different kind of champion. He promises that tomorrow, he’ll win again and there will be no “yeah but’s” this time around.

Johnny Swinger brags about how great he is in the ring and talks about his daddy, Donny Swinger, telling him “Swing Sonny”, sometimes it’s time to pass the heat onto someone else. Like Russo! Either way, he blames “crooked referees paid off by Gene Simmons and Bob Seger”. That’s why he’s going to have Zicky Dice become a referee, and then he’ll have a strap around his waist. This man is a genius.

Trinity and Deonna Purrazzo are ready to fight at Slammiversary, but they’re ready to fight Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans tomorrow night too. It’s too bad that Jordynne Grace is out of action indefinitely, but this is a dangerous business.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis

Swann and Gresham start things off with Swann kicking him in the face. Aldis comes in and gets caught with a headscissors but ducks an enziguri. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is blocked though and it’s Moose coming in. Moose misses a charge and gets punched in the face before Aldis grabs an armbar.

We take a break and come back with Gresham hitting Moose in the ribs, allowing Gresham and Aldis to start working on the arm. Moose powers Gresham away though and it’s Swann coming back in for a rolling splash. It’s back to Moose for a heck of a whip into the corner to leave Gresham grabbing his chest, followed by a near chop to tag Swann back in.

A quick taunt of Aldis is enough for Gresham to be pulled back into the wrong corner. He slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb though and the diving tag brings in Aldis to pick up the pace. Moose gets dropped so Aldis’ top rope elbow can get two but it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Everything breaks down and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two on Gresham. It’s back to Moose off a blind tag though and a powerbomb finishes Gresham at 13:31.

Rating: B-. This was a nice preview of the 8-4-1 match and that’s all it needed to be. We could be in for some interesting combinations in the match so throwing together a random tag match like this is what makes sense. Aldis continues to look good in his comeback and Swann/Gresham are both capable of doing whatever they need. Moose hasn’t been featured as much recently so this was a nice return to form.

Post match the brawl is on again, with Heath running in to help take Moose out. Aldis and Heath brawl to the floor so Swann loads up a dive, only to get caught by Bully Ray. PCO runs in for the slugout and hits the big dive through the ropes, allowing him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact was in a really weird spot this week as they had two regular shows to build up the next monthly special. That isn’t a ton of time and they more or less opted to just go as fast as they could without going too in-depth with much of anything. Instead they had two good matches and some other stuff in the middle that worked out well enough. Tomorrow’s card has potential and I could go for seeing what they have in store. Things can get back to normal next week, and if the last few weeks are any indication, we should be in for a very nice build to Slammiversary.

Results
Chris Bey b. Jason Hotch – Rollup
Heath b. Champagne Singh – Wake Up Call
Joe Hendry b. Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Big boot/spinebuster combination to Rush
Trey Miguel b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Lightning Spiral
Moose/Rich Swann b. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis – Powerbomb to Gresham

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 1, 2023: I Don’t Know If I Can Say That Anymore

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 1, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the first show after Under Siege and a lot of things took place at the show. First and foremost, Steve Maclin retained the World Title by defending PCO but Bully Ray attacked Scott D’Amore to end the show, even putting him through a flaming table. Other than that, we have a new #1 contender in the form of Alex Shelley, who will get a World Title shot at Against All Odds. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Under Siege recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going and no one is happy to see him. He has been putting people through tables throughout his career and no one is better at it in wrestling history. We hear about some of the people who he has put through them over the years, but the really bad ones are the people he puts through flaming tables. That’s what he did to Scott D’Amore and there is no one here to stop him.

Now it is on to Against All Odds, where he can become #1 contender and then to Slammiversary to win the World Title. Cue World Champion Steve Maclin to interrupt to say he liked what happened to D’Amore. What Bully needs to understand though is Maclin allowed Ray to hurt D’Amore like that. Ray tells him to shut up and says no one tells him what he can do….but then backtracks and says Maclin is the World Champion and can do what he wants. Maclin proposes a partnership, but he’s also cool with the idea of beating Ray at Slammiversary if he has to.

Cue the Motor City Machine Guns to interrupt, with Alex Shelley saying he’s leaving Against All Odds with the World Title. Ray says that usually he would rip Shelley apart on the might but the reality is that Shelley is one of the best in the world. He has seen wrestlers in the locker room watching Shelley matches, but Shelley must be bothered by never winning the big one.

Chris Sabin brings up beating Ray for the World Title but Maclin cuts him off to yell at Shelley for the lack of respect. Shelley says “yep” when asked if he thinks he can win the title but Maclin asks why it will be different this time. Shelley says it’s because Maclin is no Josh Alexander, which makes Ray laugh. That doesn’t make sense to Shelley, because Alexander beat Ray too. We finally get the challenge for the tag match tonight and Ray likes the idea….but not tonight.

Cue Subculture (Mark Andrews/Flash Morgan Webster/Dani Luna, formerly of NXT UK) as this segment is somehow still going. Subculture wants to face the Guns tonight and that match is on. This was nearly twenty minutes long and felt WAY out of place on an Impact show, especially when the only match made was from people who popped up at the end. I know they don’t have much time before Against All Odds but please don’t let this WWE style segment become normal around here.

Nick Aldis feels dangerous when he is in a nice suit like this but he feels all the more dangerous when he has momentum behind him. He praises Kenny King for a great match at Under Siege and King will be even more ready whenever they face off again. As for Against All Odds, Aldis is ready for the 8-4-1 match (starts off as an eight man tag, with the winning team immediately having a four way to crown a new #1 contender) because he’ll have to adapt, which is what he does best. Then he’s winning the World Title.

Eddie Edwards vs. Yuya Uemura

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie. Feeling out process to start with Uemura grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and Eddie takes him into the corner for some chops, only to have a forearm knock Eddie outside. The slingshot dive drops Eddie again though and we take a break. Back with Uemura fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken right back down.

This time Uemura fights up with a running clothesline and a belly to back suplex gets two. Edwards tries a double underhook but gets backdropped away, only to have Alisha distract Uemura on the top. That means a superplex can bring Uemura back down but Uemura cuts off the Boston Knee Party with a dropkick. The swinging Rock Bottom sets up a high crossbody, which is kneed out of the air. The tiger driver gives Edwards two and the Boston Knee Party finally finishes Uemura at 13:30.

Rating: B. They had a good match here as Uemura continues to get better and better every week. Commentary is right when they say that he needs a big win, but I’m not sure how much longer he is going to be here on excursion in the first place. If that’s the case, just how far does Impact want to push him? For now, I guess they’ll have to settle for a good hand who can work well with anyone.

Post match Eddie teases respect but pulls away from the handshake. Cue Frankie Kazarian to say that isn’t how we do this around here and the fight is on, with Eddie being dropped. Alisha tries to jump on Frankie and is dropped as well, allowing Kazarian to leave.

Decay vs. Sami Callihan/Jake Crist

Crist bites Steve to start and hands it off to Callihan, only to have Taurus come in and clear the ring. That’s not enough for Taurus, who throws Steve over the top onto both of them. Back in and Crist starts firing off superkicks for a breather, followed by putting Steve on Taurus’ shoulders. Callihan puts Crist on his own shoulders for a cutter to Steve and the pin at 1:35. Cool finisher and dang that went fast.

Post match here is the Design to lay out Crist and Callihan. Rich Swann makes the save.

Post break, Swann, Crist and Callihan are ready for Against All Odds….but Swann already has a spot in the 8-4-1 match. Callihan and Crist understand so they can find someone else. Callihan says the doctor is going to have to call the fox.

Trinity vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal and Gisele Shaw are here with Evans. Trinity grabs a waistlock to start and gets backed into the corner for her efforts. A headlock takeover doesn’t work for Trinity so she forearms away in the corner. Evans plants her with a powerbomb for two and Trinity is in trouble. Back in and Trinity gets smart by hitting a springboard kick to the face to put Evans down. A side slam cuts Trinity off but she pulls Evans into the reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap at 4:33.

Rating: C+. Evans continues to work as a monster but that is only going to have so much impact if she keeps losing all the time. Trinity is someone who is probably going to wind up being near the top of the division sooner rather than later so her winning here makes all of the sense. They went back and forth here for a few minutes but ultimately, Trinity winning was the only option.

Post match Trinity gets the mic and says she wants the Knockouts Title. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to say ask her to her face. Trinity issues the challenge for Slammiversary and Purrazzo is in. Shaw, Evans and Vidal are up for the beatdown though, only to have Jordynne Grace come in for the save. That doesn’t exactly work though as she is beaten down as well, setting up a pair of knees from Shaw.

Dani Luna vs. Jody Threat

Dani Luna is part of Subculture, who are here with her. Threat headlocks her over to start but Luna does the exact same. Luna powers her into the corner but gets sunset flipped for two. Threat knocks her back down and scores with a heck of a Cactus Clothesline. Threat’s running flip dive off the apron, followed by the running knee to the back. Luna has had it with this and hits a powerbomb for two and a hard lariat gets the same. Threat snaps off a German suplex and hits a reverse F5 (the F Bomb) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: B-. This was a hard hitting fight and it worked well with what they were doing. Impact has done a nice job of turning Threat into…well, a threat, and that’s what they need to do every so often. Threat is someone who feels like she has been built from the ground up and could become something around here. On the other hand you have Luna, who could do well as a powerhouse with a unique look.

Santino Marella and Joe Hendry are talking about Dirty Dango when Sheldon Jean and Kenny King come in. King thinks Jean should get a match with Hendry, so Santino makes it for next week. As for Against All Odds, Hendry can defend his Digital Media Title against Dango. Works for Hendry.

We look at Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich brawling at Under Siege. A chain was involved.

Kelly wants a dog collar match with Slamovich. Her talk about giving in to your natural instinct is designed to make various suggestions.

Here is what’s coming on various shows.

Subculture vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley and Andrews get things going with Shelley’s armdrag not getting him very far. Sabin comes in to headlock Webster to little avail as Webster grabs an armdrag of his own. Everything breaks down and the Guns send Andrews outside to kick Webster down. Back in and Andrews gets kicked down as well, allowing Shelley to grab a cross arm choke on Webster.

Back up and Webster gets Shelley into the corner for a quick dropkick to the leg. Subculture hits back to back flips onto Sabin to send him outside as well, setting up the stereo suicide dives. Back in and the Guns hit some clotheslines to take over and we take a break. We come back with Andrews being caught in a surfboard for a bulldog from Sabin. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Andrews fights up, allowing the tag off to Webster. Everything breaks down again and Webster hits a springboard moonsault to drop both Guns.

Webster hits a big dive onto Sabin and a double Falcon Arrow (that’s a new one) gets two back inside. Shelley comes back in for the save and house is cleaned, including a Death Valley Driver/running neckbreaker combination (that’s a new one too). A Magic Killer (that’s not a new one) gets two on Andrews but he pops up off a Doomsday dropkick.

Shelley is knocked outside, leaving Sabin to clothesline both of them inside out. Cradle Shock is countered into a Stundog Millionaire (sweet) but Webster misses a 450. Sabin grabs a cutter on Webster and the Dream Sequence hits Andrews. The Dirt Bomb finishes Webster off at 16:13.

Rating: B+. There are certain matches that are designed to have talented stars letting it all hang out and hitting one big move after another until someone finally gets pinned. That is what you had here and this was an awesome TV main event. The Guns can still hang with anyone and if Subculture wants a job in Impact, there is a good chance that they got one here. Great stuff here and worth a look if you have time.

Overall Rating: B. I find myself looking forward to Impact more and more each week and that was the case again here. The opener and main event (especially the latter) are both rather awesome TV matches and the rapid fire build to Against All Odds wasn’t bad at all. Cut down on the way too long opening segment and this show is probably the best TV show of the week. Awesome stuff here, as I’m starting to wonder if it’s still fair to say Impact is on a roll, as this has been going on for a long time now.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Yuya Uemura – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Jake Crist b. Decay – Elevated cutter to Steve
Trinity b. Savannah Evans – Reverse Rings of Saturn
Jody Threat b. Dani Luna – F Bomb
Motor City Machine Guns b. Subculture – Dirt Bomb to Webster

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 6, 2023: It’s The Best They Can Do

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and that means we are on the way to Rebellion. However, this time we are going to have to stop for the sake of Josh Alexander vacating the World Title due to injury. There is a new main event of Kushida vs. Steve Maclin for the vacant title at Rebellion, which should be good but won’t feel as special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Multiverse United if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Josh Alexander’s World Title reign and his injury, which may have been exacerbated by Kushida’s Hoverboard Lock in a recent match.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. TMDK

That would be Shane Haste/Bad Dude Tito for TMDK. Everything breaks down fast and the Guns send them to the floor, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Skull & Bones is broken up, allowing Hates to take over on Shelley. Tito comes in to chop away for two and it’s right back to Haste for the neck crank.

A Downward Spiral into the corner gets Shelley out of trouble and Sabin comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Guns take over, including a dive and a bunch of kicks. Back in and a toss Blue Thunder Bomb is broken up and it’s the Dream Sequence to Tito. A crucifix from Shelley into a rollup from Sabin finishes Haste at 7:46.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Guns can work with just about anyone. Haste and Tito have been around a little bit more frequently and what I’ve seen has worked. That being said, it’s a rather little bit so they have a ways to go before they really get anywhere.

Post match the Guns go to the back where they run into the Bullet Club, who can work their way up to another title shot. The Guns say they’ve already got a title match at Rebellion so let’s make it an Ultimate X match. If the Guns can make it happen, the Club is in.

Eddie Edwards makes sure Kenny King has his back against PCO tonight. King wants to know where Edwards was when he was fighting PCO, so no he doesn’t have Edwards’ back. He also makes it clear that he wasn’t the one driving the car that ran over PCO.

Tommy Dreamer comes up to see Scott D’Amore about being on his team at Rebellion. Dreamer sucks up to him but D’Amore says his job is back here.

Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham

The winner gets a shot at X-Division Champion Trey Miguel, on commentary, at Rebellion. They stare each other down to start and we get a handshake. They fight over a wristlock with neither getting very far. Instead Bailey backs him into the corner before a double collision puts them both down. We take a break and come back with Bailey missing a running shooting star press, setting up a pinfall reversal sequence. They go head to head and then chop it out until Gresham knocks him to the floor.

Back in and Gresham rolls him up for two but a flipping slam gives Bailey two more. Gresham grabs a not great looking Figure Four and they roll around until they fall under the bottom rope to break it up. After being in a Figure Four for over a minute, Bailey is fine enough to hit a top rope springboard moonsault to the floor. Bailey yells at Miguel, which is enough to draw him in for a springboard double dropkick for the double DQ at 13:09.

Rating: B-. Miguel came in just before Bailey could go insane with the no selling of the leg and that is fine enough. You can pencil in the triple threat for Rebellion from here and that isn’t the worst idea. Gresham and Bailey have had a rivalry going on and there is no reason to have one of them go over the other for a title shot. If nothing else, we continue the tradition of a champion not getting the problem of a double DQ in a #1 contenders match, so at least something is consistent.

Post match Miguel indicates he’s smart. I’m sure.

Deaner is impressed Callihan has made it this far and talks about Callihan doing well in step six. Then Callihan cost them a match against Time Machine, which Callihan finds ridiculous. It’s time for step seven, which involves getting rid of all other authority in Callihan’s life except for the Design. He can figure out how to do that. This remains one of the worst things in wrestling today.

Santino Marella makes the triple threat match for the X-Division Title at Rebellion. We’ll even make it elimination style.

Jody Threat vs. Tara Rising

The fact that Rising has hair ala mid 1990s HHH is just a coincidence I assure you. Threat grabs a headlock to start as we see Santino Marella down in the back. A running clothesline and uppercut stagger Rising before some standing clotheslines rock Rising again. Some more clotheslines set up the double knees to the back and a German suplex drops Rising again. An F5 (the F416, the local area code) finishes Rising at 3:08.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well as Threat wasn’t exactly impressive. She felt like almost anyone who would fit in with almost any low level indy promotion who needs a stereotypical intense woman. Maybe this was just a tryout or something but Threat didn’t really stand out in any good way here.

In the back, Scott D’Amore checks on Santino Marella, with Dirty Dango saying the Design did this. Dango thinks that since Marella is out of action (as he sits there wide awake), he should be in charge. Instead, D’Amore says that Dango and Joe Hendry should face the Design. Marella says this is a chance to show his son how to stand up for himself, so he’ll fight the Design at Rebellion. Because of course he will.

Gisele Shaw, Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans interrupt Tasha Steelz. Shaw isn’t happy with Steelz interrupting her and a match is set for next week.

Bully Ray/Good Hands vs. Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura/Darren McCarty

McCarty is a former NHL player who got in a fight with Ray at Sacrifice. Skyler slugs away at Dreamer to start to no avail, so Uemura comes in for a double hiptoss. The jumping elbow drop gives Uemura two before it’s off to Hotch, who gets armbarred down. A cheap shot takes Dreamer down though and the double villain choking ensues. Dreamer finally DDTs his way out of trouble and it’s McCarty coming in to clean house. McCarty clears the ring before hitting a Stunner on Hotch for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but rather a way to have McCarty in there for something a bit special. That’s all it needed to be and McCarty didn’t take up too much time. If nothing else, it meant we didn’t have to hear Dreamer and Ray talk again for a week so I’ll call that one a success.

Post match Kenny King runs in to go after Dreamer, drawing in Frankie Kazarian, Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly in a row. Dreamer, Kelly, Uemura and Kazarian clear the ring as we seem to have a Team Dreamer for Rebellion.

Video on Josh Alexander’s World Title reign.

Jordynne Grace did well in a bodybuilding competition.

We look at Deonna Purrazzo qualifying for the Knockouts Title match at Rebellion.

Purrazzo talks about how rough of a time she has had in the last year but now she has a chance to get back to the top.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

PCO puts him on the top rope to start and snaps off a super hurricanrana as we take a break. Back with Edwards not being able to hit a tiger driver on the floor but settling for a superplex instead. A chop out goes to PCO and he choke shoves Edwards to the floor. The suicide cannonball plants Edwards again and a chokeslam onto the apron sends us to another break.

Back again with PCO hitting the Deanimator but Edwards pulls the referee in front of a charge. PCO goes up top but here is Alisha Edwards to beg him no on the PCOsault. Then she kendo sticks him in the head so Eddie can hit a buckle bomb. The Boston Knee Party finishes PCO at 16:45.

Rating: C+. PCO can still do some crazy things in the ring but at least the ending seems to explain who was driving the car. If nothing else, this ties up the on again/off again deal with Alisha and Eddie, which does at least offer something different for Eddie. You know there’s going to be some wacky match at Rebellion and that could at least be a lot of fun.

Post match PCO gives chase but Edwards and Edwards escape in their car.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Scott D’Amore, with Kushida and Steve Maclin here as well, to accept Josh Alexander’s World Title. D’Amore talks about how great Alexander has been as champion and hypes up a new champion being crowned at Rebellion. Here’s Alexander, with his wife and son, to talk about opportunities. He toiled on the Canadian independent scene to get a chance and then D’Amore offered him a contract.

Alexander has worked so hard in and out of the ring to pay people like D’Amore back. His work ethic has brought him this far and he stands here the longest reigning World Champion in Impact’s history. At Rebellion, there will be a new champion crowned and we’ll find out if Maclin has what it takes. Alexander promises to get the title back and goes to hand it over….and then his son takes the title.

After a NEW CHAMP chant, the title is handed over to D’Amore but Maclin says just hand it to him because he was going to win it at Rebellion. D’Amore goes off on Maclin for going after an injured Alexander, because if Maclin was a real man, he would have accepted the open challenge like Mike Bailey did. Maclin isn’t a real man and a few weeks ago, Kushida made him tap out. Maclin calls out Kushida, who pulls him into the Hoverboard Lock and sends him running before holding up the title. Kushida hands the title back to D’Amore to end the show. They did what they could with what they had here so this could have been worse.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another standard Impact show with enough good action and building towards the future. The Alexander segment was doing as well as could be expected given some horrible circumstances that aren’t Impact’s fault so I’ll take what I can get. Other than that, they’re getting Rebellion ready and we might even be seeing less from Santino Marella week to week. I’ll call that a win so it’s another nice week around here.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. TMDK – Rollup to Haste
Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham went to a double DQ when Trey Miguel interfered
Jody Threat b. Tara Rising – F416
Darren McCarty/Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura b. Bully Ray/Good Hands – Stunner to Hotch
Eddie Edwards b. PCO – Boston Knee Party

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2023: Leave The Memories Alone

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It is the night before Sacrifice and we are eight days away from Multiverse United. That means it is time to build up both shows at the last minute, as there is still some work that needs to be done. The good thing is that both shows already have quite a bit set and now the final touches can be applied. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Steve Maclin vs. Josh Alexander, including Maclin costing Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian a six man tag last week.

Opening sequence.

The Design vs. Time Machine

Callihan is here with the Design. Kushida squares up to Kon to start but Sabin comes in as well, allowing Kon to clothesline both of them down. Deaner comes in and gets struck down by the Guns, only to take Sabin into the wrong corner. It’s off to Angels to trade chops with Sabin before a leg lariat puts Sabin down. Sabin ties Angels up though and Kushida/Shelley kick Angels’ arms out to take over.

There’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner to hit Angels again and Shelley stays on the bad arm. Kushida snaps the arm across the top and it’s off to a double arm crank. Sabin comes back in but gets taken into the wrong corner so Angels can choke a bit. A sunset flip gets two on Deaner and Sabin dives over to Kushida for the tag. House is quickly cleaned and everything breaks down, with Kushida and Shelley taking over on Deaner’s arm for a change.

The handspring kick knocks Kon off the apron and Kushida hits a big dive to the floor to take out a variety of people. We take a break and come back with Angels (favoring his arm) and Kushida trading their forearms. Deaner kicks Kushida in the head and Kon’s spinebuster sets up Angel’s frog splash for two. A double clothesline Doomsday Device gets two on Kushida as Shelley makes the save.

Everything breaks down again and Angels is left alone, setting up a triple Dream Sequence. A triple kick in the head looks to set up Skull And Bones but Deaner makes the save. Hold on though as Callihan gets in to protect Deaner, leaving Callihan to get taken down as well. Angel’s dive is loaded up but he gets pulled into the Hoverboard Lock. Sabin kicks the arm away from the ropes and Angels taps at 18:50.

Rating: C+. Well that was….long. I’m not sure why anyone thinks there is a need for a Design match to go nearly twenty minutes but thankfully Time Machine was there to balance things out a bit. The action was fine but I can’t understand what is supposed to be interesting about the Design. It would be great to finally get to whatever they’re setting up with Callihan, because there has been almost nothing interesting so far and I have no reason to believe that is going to change.

The Coven is happy to be the new Knockouts Tag Team Champions and like magic.

Raj Singh and Shera are rich and like it in Las Vegas. The former is so rich that he’s now Champagne Singh as we just keep up the stereotypes.

Eddie Edwards is in the back with Kenny King and talks about how he has to get rid of PCO. That’s why he has brought in help, with King talking about how they realized they needed each other at Jay Briscoe’s mama’s house. PCO was never family like them, so King is going to take PCO out at Sacrifice.

Savannah Evans vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal are here with Evans. Purrazzo slugs away to start but gets shoved down without much effort. There’s a running splash to crush Purrazzo in the corner and Evans throws her right back out. Purrazzo manages to snap off a running hurricanrana though and Evans crashes out to the floor. The baseball slide drops Evans again but a Shaw distraction lets Evans send Purrazzo into various things.

We take a break and come back with Purrazzo still in trouble as Shaw is rather pleased. A running shoulder in the corner sets up a butterfly suplex as Purrazzo is getting crushed here. The chinlock goes on as Shaw’s slapping the mat over and over again sounds like someone knocking on a door.

Purrazzo fights up and gets a boot up in the corner before going after the arm. That doesn’t work so Purrazzo hits a running knee into a Russian legsweep. Now the Fujiwara armbar can go on, with Evans making it over to the rope. Back up and Evans snaps off a suplex but gets kicked in the head. Evans is sent to the apron but the distractions are on. Evans accidentally kicks Vidal down and Purrazzo gets rid of Shaw, setting up a crucifix to pin Evans at 13:51.

Rating: C. This was another long match and mostly a squash until Purrazzo beat up two people at once to beat Evans. Purrazzo is geared up for her match with Shaw at Sacrifice and now we should be in for a showdown tomorrow night. Evans continues to look like a monster for most of her matches but then comes up short in the end, which could go somewhere in the future.

Post match Evans lays Purrazzo out and Shaw helps out with the beating. This goes on for a bit and no one saves Purrazzo.

Flashback Moment Of The Week (They still do these?): The Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D and Beer Money at Sacrifice 2010.

The Death Dollz are mad at losing the Knockouts Tag Team Titles with Taya Valkyrie trying to calm the other two down. They need a new plan! Jessika isn’t having that and goes after the Coven right now, only to find….a casket. Jessika opens it up and finds….well we’re not sure as Taya slams it shut. A hand reaches out of the casket and pulls Taya in. Where to you ask? AEW.

Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich vs. Tommy Dreamer/Mickie James

For those of you who needed a preview of Dreamer vs. Ray. The men start things off with Ray going after Mickie instead. Ray wants Mickie to come in and she does exactly that after about a minute of staring. Slamovich comes in for the slugout about two minutes in but Mickie plants her with a flapjack. It’s off to Dreamer for some arm cranking before Mickie comes back in, only to have Ray pull her down by the hair.

Ray comes in for a slam as commentary is quiet for a lot of long stretches. Mickie slips away though and hands it back to Dreamer for right hands in the corner. A cutter gives Dreamer two with Slamovich making the save. The top rope seated senton drops Slamovich and Mickie plays D-Von with a WHAT’S UP (ax handle version). Everything breaks down and Ray loads up a table as Mickie dives onto Slamovich. The distraction lets Ray hit Dreamer low, setting up a piledriver for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. This worked when Mickie and Masha were in there, with Ray being ok enough. I’m completely with caring about anything Dreamer does, but at least his stuff was kept short. What mattered here was having the two matches set up, as strange as it is that seeing Ray pin Dreamer before they have a first blood match. Then again having them in what is very possibly the main event of a show in 2023 is strange enough.

Post match Ray loads up a powerbomb on James but here is Jordynne Grace to break it up. Grace and Ray stare each other down and Grace spears….Mickie by mistake as Ray moves.

Rich Swann and Frankie Kazarian are in the back with Swann being upset about last week. Kazarian wants him to go find Josh Alexander and settle this now. Post break Swann goes into Alexander’s locker room and finds Steve Maclin. Swann yells, with Maclin saying maybe Alexander wanted him here. Swann is confused.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry vs. Moose/Brian Myers

Before the match, Dango insists that we believe in Hendry and the fans seem pleased. Hendry headlocks Myers to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. A delayed suplex drops Myers and Dango comes in as Myers rolls into the corner. Moose comes in and takes Dango into the corner but Hendry comes in to clear the ring. Hendry and Dango have two words for us….but Dango has to be reminded that they aren’t SUCK IT.

We take a break and come back with Moose sending Dango into the corner and knocking Hendry off the apron. Myers drops Dango as the alternating beatdowns continue. Moose charges into a boot in the corner though and a middle rope corkscrew uppercut gives Dango a breather. The tag brings in Hendry to clean house and a pop up powerbomb gets two on Myers. Everything breaks down and Moose spears Hendry down. Myers’ Roster Cut finishes Hendry at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here which set up the title match on Friday. Hendry continues to feel like a star and someone who could be a big deal if he is given the chance at some point down the line. Seeing him get pinned in a tag match is kind of a big deal as Hendry has been such a star, but he’ll be fine if he retains the title at Sacrifice.

Josh Alexander goes into his locker room and finds Rich Swann, who wants to know why Steve Maclin was here. Alexander, who is remarkably calm about two people apparently having been in his locker room, is off to find out what is going on here.

Here is Josh Alexander to talk about Steve Maclin. Alexander has seen Maclin leave a trail of bodies around here and he can respect that. What he can’t respect is the allegation that he is ducking Maclin. All that makes Maclin is someone complaining and a…..forgotten son. Cue Maclin to say that yes he is afraid to fail because he doesn’t want to go all the way back to the bottom.

He is obsessed with winning the Impact World Title and we see clips of Maclin watching Alexander’s matches from the shadows during his title reign. Alexander says he respects Maclin so bring it on right now. Maclin says nah, because he’s going to do it in Alexander’s hometown at Rebellion.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but it did a nice enough job of building up Sacrifice. That is trickier than it seems though, as the show isn’t the biggest in the world. The main event very well may be Dreamer vs. Ray, as the only other real option is Mickie vs. Grace. Once that is out of the way though, we’re on to Rebellion and that should work well.

So……you might need to forget a good bit of this show, as both Josh Alexander (torn tricep) and Mickie James (undisclosed) are injured and have been forced to vacate their titles. The Knockouts Title will be determined at Sacrifice and the World Title at Rebellion, with Steve Maclin facing Kushida. No word on what happens to the Multiverse United card. Egads that’s horrible, as they might have just lost their two top stars at once.

Results
Time Machine b. The Design – Hoverboard Lock to Angels
Deonna Purrazzo b. Savannah Evans – Crucifix
Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich b. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver to Dreamer
Moose/Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry – Roster Cut to Hendry

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2023: Dang They’re Good

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for No Surrender and the card is set up. There is one thing though that we need to cover, which involves who gets to talk first in a live edition of Busted Open Radio. Therefore, we have a Beat The Clock Challenge between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Non-title and Gresham takes Shelley down by the leg to start. Bailey comes in and kicks away at said leg, with Gresham and Bailey taking turns on it. Shelley manages to knock Bailey outside though and it’s the Guns taking over for a change. Back in and the limping Shelley strikes away at Bailey, who comes right back with the bouncing kicks to Sabin.

Gresham and Sabin slug it out until Gresham does one of those stupid looking deals where he sends the Guns together and kicks Sabin, making him dragon screw legwhip Shelley. The Guns are back up with a Death Valley Driver/neckbreaker combination, followed by a Magic Killer for two on Gresham. Gresham suplexes Sabin and brings Bailey back in for the kicks, plus an Indian Deathlock to Shelley.

With that broken up, Shelley escapes Skull And Bones, leaving Gresham to Figure Four Shelley. That’s broken up as well and the Guns are sent outside for the double dive. Back in and Gresham gets the Figure Four again, with Bailey hitting the moonsault knees to Sabin. Bailey gets knocked down though and Sabin powerbombs him onto Gresham for the save. Gresham hits Bailey by mistake and the Guns strike away (gee Shelley’s knee healed up fast), setting up the Dirt Bomb for the pin on Gresham at 12:56.

Rating: B. This was the fast paced and all action match, though Bailey’s horrendous selling issues were spreading around here. The Guns did their thing and won as they should have, with Gresham and Bailey continuing to have their issues. It was the kind of fast paced match that you should open a show with, but my goodness sell the leg already.

Video on Rich Swann vs. Josh Alexander, with Swann wanting to get back to the top of the mountain. Alexander isn’t so sure, but does want Swann to get a title shot.

We look at Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal getting chilied by Deonna Purrazzo on Before The Impact.

Deonna Purrazzo mocks Gisele Shaw for being bad luck and promises to break her arm at No Surrender. B****.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Tommy Dreamer vs. Jason Hotch

John Skyler is here with Hotch and promises that Dreamer is going down to one good hand. Dreamer misses a charge into the corner to start and a neckbreaker gives Hotch two. Hotch goes up top but gets caught in a super Death Valley Driver for the pin at 1:15. Well that was quick.

Joe Hendry had a meet and greet earlier today and the fans are behind him against Moose at No Surrender.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Allysin Kay

Jessika, Rosemary and Marti Belle are here too. They fight into the corner to start with Valkyrie getting the better of things and grabbing something like a reverse Koji Clutch on the mat. With that broken up, Valkyrie hits a spear for two as Kay can’t get much going so far. Kay gets kicked down in the corner to set up the running knees for two.

We take a break and come back with Kay whipping Valkyrie into the corner for a change, only to miss a charge. Valkyrie hits her hip attack, earning herself one heck of a right hand. A not so great blue Thunder Bomb gives Valkyrie two and we hit something like an STF. The rope gets Kay out of trouble and she reverses a sunset flip into a sunset driver for two. Belle offers a distraction so Kay can nail a kick to the head. With Rosemary dealing with Belle, the AK47 finishes Valkyrie at 10:34.

Rating: C. It’s good to give Kay, who is already a former Knockouts Champion, a reheating as she hasn’t been around in a long time. You need to have her built back up to make the Hex a reasonable threat to the Death Dollz and they made that work here. Valkyrie was working here and dominated most of the match too, making Kay look better in the process.

Santino Marella emcees a contract signing between Josh Alexander and Rich Swann. Alexander says Swann doesn’t have it in him, sending Swann into a speech about how he was hurt before but came back through all of his injuries. He’ll win the title tomorrow, but here is Steve Maclin to say he’s getting it anyway. Referees break up the ensuing fight.

Deaner/Callihan vs. Yuya Uemura/Frankie Kazarian

The rest of the Design is here too. Deaner has Callihan start with Kazarian and tells him to do the right thing. Callihan decks Kazarian to start so now Deaner is willing to fight for himself. Kazarian strikes his way out of trouble and brings Uemura in for an armbar. Callihan comes back in and Deaner gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. With the chinlock broken up, Kon pulls Kazarian off the apron to prevent the tag but Deaner misses a Swan Dive.

That’s enough for the tag to Kazarian as the pace picks way up. The springboard spinning legdrop hits Deaner but Callihan is back in with a suplex. Kazarian rolls between them and brings Uemura back in as everything breaks down. With Deaner down in the corner, Callihan tags himself back in and sends Uemura outside. A spinebuster drops Kazarian but Deaner tells Callihan to stop the Cactus Driver. The distraction lets Kazarian grab the chickenwing for the win at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Fast paced match here but egads the Callihan/Design stuff is falling flat. It feels like something we have seen so many times and there is no reason to care about whatever they do. Callihan still feels like something of a star, but the Design is as much of a dollar store version of the evil cult as you can get. Just get on with Callihan turning on them and move on already.

Video on Mickie James defending against Masha Slamovich at No Surrender, with Jordynne Grace looming over the whole thing.

Callihan wants to know how that was Deaner’s step #5, with Deaner saying it was about loyalty. Callihan is still in this, and tomorrow night, he can prove himself at No Surrender. Just remember: the Design chooses him, not the other way around.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Bully Ray vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

The clock is set at 1:15 and Ray hasn’t even bothered to put his knee pads on properly. The Good Hands immediately come in for a distraction so Ray can hit Gujjar with a chain for the pin at 30 seconds to win the challenge. I’ll take something short from Ray and Dreamer as this sets up the two of them talking at No Surrender.

Post break Tommy Dreamer gives Gujjar a pep talk.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Crazzy Steve

Steve, with Black Taurus, is challenging in Monster’s Ball and they’ve both been held without food, water or light for twenty four hours. There are weapons at ringside because we need to ramp up the violence. Steve chops away to start and takes him to the floor for the hard right hands.

We take a break less than a minute in (as that has now swept through wrestling) and come back with Steve being sent face first into some chairs on the floor. A big chair shot only hits post though and Steve sends him into the chairs instead. Back in and Miguel hits a fast running dropkick to take over again, meaning it’s time for a chain. More weapons are thrown in but Steve staple guns Miguel low for a breather. Steve Cannonballs into Miguel, in a trashcan, in the corner as we take another break.

Back again with Miguel grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for a breather of his own. A fork (yes a fork) to Steve’s face is blocked but Steve is busted open anyway. It’s time for the bag of tacks (of course) but Steve blocks the Lightning Spiral. The Black Hole Slam onto the tacks gets two on Miguel, with Steve pulling him up at two. That takes too long though and Miguel kicks away, setting up a stomp to the back to send Steve into the tacks.

It’s table time (because of course) but instead a double clothesline puts them both into the tacks again. With nothing else working, Miguel pulls out a metal spike, only for Steve to pull out Janice (a 2×4 with nails sticking out). With Miguel terrified, Steve Death Valley Drivers him through the table in the corner for two.

Steve gets caught on top though and a chair to the head puts him in more trouble. A quick Canadian Destroyer onto the tacks rocks Miguel again though and a delayed cover gets two. Janice to the forehead busts Miguel open even more but he gets in a low blow. A Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table (with Miguel hitting back first) knocks Steve silly and retains the title at 22:31.

Rating: B. Your taste in hardcore/violent wrestling is going to determine everything here. There wasn’t much of anything new here but they did beat each other up and it felt like the big finish to the feud. Miguel gets to prove he can go in a different direction and looks stronger as champion as a result. The ending left a good bit to be desired, but they had a very violent match on the way there.

Overall Rating: B. The middle left a good bit to be desired, but with a pair of solid matches, Dreamer vs. Ray being kept under two minutes combined and a nice push towards No Surrender, this was another very nice use of two hours. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore, but Impact is rapidly approaching being the best weekly wrestling show. They have put in the work and made their show that much better, so well done on all sides with another quality show this week.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Dirt Bomb to Gresham
Tommy Dreamer b. Jason Hotch – Super Death Valley Driver
Allysin Kay b. Taya Valkyrie – AK47
Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura b. Callihan/Deaner – Chickenwing to Callihan
Bully Ray b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Right hand with a chain
Trey Miguel b. Crazy Steve – Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2023: It Took Long Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are some amount of days away from No Surrender and that means it is time for some other qualifying match for the #1 contenders match. Other than that, hopefully we get more build towards Josh Alexander defending the World Title against Rich Swann. Also hopefully, we get less build towards the eventual Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jerry Jarrett.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Kushida

Yeah this works and Ace Austin/the Motor City Machine Guns are the seconds. Kushida takes him down without much trouble to start with Bey having to bail to the ropes. Bey picks up the speed and sweeps out the leg before hitting a kick to the head. They head outside with Kushida getting sent into the apron, only to kick the arm out on the way back inside.

The arm is slammed into the mat and Kushida twists it around for a bonus. Bey heads outside and manages something like an apron 619. A double clothesline puts them both down and it’s a double dive back in at nine. Kushida goes after the arm again but Bey manages a torture rack neckbreaker for two.

A front flip double kick to the face sends Bey outside and the BIG flip dive drops him again. Back in and Kushida kicks at the bad arm but Bey gets in a quick knockdown. The Art of Finesse is broken up and Kushida gets a cross armbreaker, only to get reversed into a cradle for two. Kushida grabs an arm trap into a small package for the pin at 11:42.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be really good. Kushida can still go with anyone and Bey looked great even in defeat. It was the kind of back and forth match that you need every so often, with Kushida’s submission stuff against Bey’s athleticism and quickness. Heck of an opener here and every bit of what I was expecting.

Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray have a sitdown with Santino Marella. The solution is a live Busted Open Radio segment at No Surrender with their fellow host Dave Lagreca moderating. They argue over gets to go first with Santino making a Beat The Clock Challenge next week with the winner getting to go first. When they talk.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin elbows him in the face a few times but Rhino takes it to the corner for some chops. Rhino gets the better of the battle over a suplex but it’s too early for the Gore. They go outside with Rhino being sent shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Maclin getting two off a clothesline and then choking on the ropes for a bonus. A bunch of stomps set up the chinlock, followed by Maclin missing a middle rope headbutt. Rhino’s belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster follows. The Gore is loaded up but Maclin spears him down for two, setting up Heath’s Wake Up Call to give Maclin the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C+. The ending was little more than a formality as Maclin gets to run over someone else on his way to the likely World Title shot at Rebellion. Rhino got in his usual stuff before falling, which is the only way this should have gone. Decent match too as Maclin continues to shine in pretty much whatever he does.

Masha Slamovich doesn’t think Mickie James is taking her seriously enough so she’ll prove herself tonight against Alisha.

Here is Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice saying he has found one opponent with a record worse than theirs.

Johnny Swinger vs. Barry Horowitz

Swinger goes after the leg to start but misses a charge. Horowitz hammers away and rakes the chest, meaning it’s time for a good old pat on the back. Cue the Demon of all people as Horowitz grabs an abdominal stretch into a rollup for the pin at 2:08. This story is hilarious.

Moose, with a baseball bat, promises revenge on Joe Hendry.

Post break Moose goes after Hendry’s car but finds out that it’s Santino Marella’s. As a result, Marella gives Moose…..a Digital Media Title shot in a Dot Combat match at No Surrender. This would be the latest “sure why not” booking around here.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Heath vs. Eddie Edwards

Edwards hits a shoulder to start but Heath sends him into the corner for a splash. With Edwards bailing to the floor, Heath hits the flip dive off the apron. Back in and Edwards hits his own dive, meaning it’s time to choke back inside. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Heath is back up with a powerslam for two. A spinebuster gets the same but Edwards catches him up top. The superplex into the tiger driver gets two so Edwards loads up the Diehard Driver. Cue the thunder though and the distraction lets Heath hit the Wake Up Call for the pin at 7:32.

Rating: C. More serious Heath continues to be fine and it’s cool to put him in a #1 contenders match. He even has a reason to go after Maclin for using the Wake Up Call earlier this week. On the other hand you have Edwards and…well yeah PCO is going to actually kill him at some point so enjoy him while you can.

Post match PCO chases Eddie Edwards off.

Deaner says he and Sami Callihan are facing Yuya Uemura and Frankie Kazarian next week. It’s Sami’s fifth step out of seven.

James Mitchell and the Hex are ready to destroy the Death Dollz and win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Masha Slamovich vs. Alisha

Mickie James is on commentary. Slamovich starts fast and runs Alisha over with the Snow Plow finishing at 1:34. Exactly what it should have been.

Post match Slamovich stays on Alisha so Mickie goes in, only to get choked out.

Crazzy Steve says Trey Miguel’s TM logo now means That Moment when Steve took over his mind. Steve wants a shot at the X-Division Title in Monster’s Ball.

Santino Marella makes Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham at No Surrender. Dirty Dango says that next week, the two of them can team up to face the Motor City Machine Guns. With the two of them gone, Barry Horowitz comes in and says he wants the same deal as Johnny Swinger: win fifty matches and get a World Title shot. That works for Santino, who gives Horowitz Rhino next week. Actually, Horowitz will just leave 1-0 instead.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Rich Swann

King punches him down to start but Swann manages a kick to the apron. That means the running flip dive to take King down again as things settle a bit. Swann’s splash is cut off though and King drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. King grabs a backbreaker for two but Swann manages a DDT to send us to a break.

Back with Swann hitting a rolling clothesline into a running kick to the head for two. King hits a spinebuster for two of his own, followed by a powerslam for the same. The poisonrana gets Swann out of trouble and they’re both down for a bit. Swann’s big kick to the head is countered into a half crab to make Swann scream a bit. With that broken up, they trade kicks to the head for two until Swann misses a 450. King grabs a tiger driver for two but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Swann the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Another completely acceptable and at times good match between two talented wrestlers. The ending wasn’t in real doubt as the #1 contender isn’t going to lose, but King can wrestle a fine match with just about anyone. Swann continues to build momentum to being the challenger of the month, but doing something notable with Josh Alexander sounds like a better idea.

Post match King stays on Swann and grabs a chair but Josh Alexander runs in for the save. Swann grabs the chair and swings at King but hits Alexander by mistake to end the show. That’s something for them at least as that match has felt almost forgotten so far.

Overall Rating: B-. This show did a nice job of building up No Surrender, as we FINALLY got something with the World Title match. Other than that, the rest of the show got a boost as well, including Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer. That thing is getting dragged all the way to Rebellion so it could take some time to really do much. I liked this show, with the Horowitz stuff being a great surprise. Impact continues to roll with another good one and I’m having more fun with the show almost week after week.

Results
Kushida b. Chris Bey – Small package
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Wake Up Call
Barry Horowitz b. Johnny Swinger – Abdominal stretch rollup
Heath b. Eddie Edwards – Wake Up Call
Masha Slamovich b. Alisha – Snow Plow
Rich Swann b. Kenny King – Small package

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2023: Who Does That Help?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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