Billy Graham vs. Tommy DeMarco

Ivan Koloff is Graham’s second here. Before the match Graham shows off his tye dye which is a very different thing to see at this point. Graham starts very fast and cranks on the arm before sending him to the floor. Tom comes back with a very fast series of right hands in the corner followed by a backdrop. Graham runs him over with a shoulder but walks into a dropkick and armdrag. Billy has to run outside for a breather and things slow way down. Back in and Graham cranks on the leg before wrapping it around the post. A big elbow drop is enough to pin DeMarco.

Rating: C-. WAY more entertaining than I was expecting here with DeMarco being very energetic. It was a step above a squash and that’s way better than what you would usually get on TV at this point. Speaking of TV, the production values for 1972 are AMAZING here as I could easily buy that this was from about fifteen years later.

Still in the AWA, this time in Chicago on Halloween 1973.

Wilbur Snyder vs. Billy Graham

Graham hides in the ropes to start and Gene Okerlund gets to make a rare commentary appearance. A lockup goes nowhere until Billy pulls him down by the hair into a chinlock. Snyder counters into a headlock of his own as this isn’t the fastest paced match in the world. Different time though. They trade elbows to drop each other with Wilbur getting the better of it and stomping away.

Boots are put to Graham and Snyder starts going after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes. Back up and Graham scores with some elbows to the head and rams Wilbur into the buckle. Snyder avoids a charge in the corner and ducks a right hand, sending Graham out to the floor. Graham sneaks in a right hand back inside and we’re back in the chinlock.

Snyder actually wins a power battle and cranks on an armbar, followed by a headscissors on the mat. Back up again with Graham cranking on the headlock to take Snyder back down. After that eats up way too long, Snyder sends him into the buckle and they fight to the apron for a double countout.

Rating: D+. Not the most exciting match in the world but again it’s a different era. This really was built around a lot of stuff on the mat instead of more fast paced action. That being said, this was a lot of chinlocks which can be hard to sit through. Snyder was a fairly big deal back in the AWA so this was a pretty big time match.

It’s off to New York now Graham was instantly a big deal. Here he is challenging Bruno for the World Title on October 13, 1975.

WWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

It’s a boxing match to start and Graham hides in the ropes like a good heel should. A LOUD Bruno chant starts up as Graham shoves Bruno into the corner. The champion cranks on his arm and it’s a fight over a top wristlock. After a long stretch of having Bruno overpower him, Billy pulls him down by the hair and we’re back in the top wristlock battle. Another hair pull gives Graham control again but Bruno gets all ticked off and slams him down.

We get another test of strength with Billy taking over, but Bruno won’t let it go and fights up. This keeps going for a few minutes with Graham not being able to keep Sammartino down. Bruno finally takes over but another cheap shot gives Graham a breather. Off to a chinlock on Bruno with tape around his throat until the champion fights up again. A big backdrop and some boots have Graham in trouble so he begs off in the corner.

The delay is enough to allow Graham to grab his bearhug and take Bruno down to the mat. You know the champion isn’t going to stay down like that though and he’s quickly back to his feet. As has been the case throughout the match, the hold stays on for a good while until Billy rams him into the buckle, SLAMMING Bruno’s head into the buckle. Now it’s Bruno with his own bearhug but an eyerake gets Graham out. They collide with Bruno being knocked outside for the countout in a sudden ending.

Rating: C. While the match was a lot of the same holds for a long time, they actually told a nice story with it. They played up the idea of both guys being incredibly strong and turned it into a showdown where you wanted to see which guy was going to blink first. The ending worked really well too as it sets up the rematch but keeps Bruno looking good.

Graham would continue chasing the title until April 30, 1977.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

The ring is especially wide here for some reason. They feel each other out a bit and Graham easily shoves Bruno around. Now Bruno shoves back and grabs an armbar for good measure. Graham makes the rope and heads to the floor for a bit before returning for a test of strength. Bruno goes down to his knees twice and even gets his shoulders counted a few times. The champ fights back and sends Graham to the floor to reset things a bit.

Back in and they fight over a top wristlock with Billy taking control again. Bruno fights back again and takes over with an armbar of his own. The challenger fights up and hits a knee to the ribs, sending Bruno down for some more stomping in the process. Graham goes to the throat to keep the advantage but misses a running knee in the corner. Bruno pounds away and Graham is busted open.

Billy comes back with a whip into the corner and it’s off to a bearhug on the champion. Bruno is in trouble all of a sudden but he fights up from his knees on the much taller Graham. Right hands to the head break the hold and there’s a hard whip into the corner by the champion. Now Sammartino hooks a bearhug of his own but Billy gets a rope. They fight in the corner with Bruno in full control. The referee tries to break it up though, allowing Graham to trip Bruno’s legs out from under him and roll Bruno up with his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but more importantly it showed what Graham could do in the ring. He was insanely powerful and had a flashy look as opposed to the bigger than average but still relatively normal look that dominated wrestling in the 70s. This was Bruno’s last match as champion and he went out in a pretty good way.

And now, for a rematch on August 1, 1977.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

Gorilla is the guest referee for this one and good night is he huge. He shoves Graham around for trying to jump Bruno before the bell. He has no issue with Bruno doing the same though. Gorilla is also doing the voiceover thing here and says that more or less anything goes here. For the second time he says he’s 423lbs at this point. He won’t count Graham out because he says he’s not ending a title match with a count out.

Bruno was limited in his offense but at the same time that’s all you have to do. I think this is in Toronto but I’m not sure at all. Graham gets the feet and gets something from under the ring. Ah it’s a rope. Bruno chokes him with it and Gorilla isn’t as adamant about stopping that. According to Gorilla this is in MSG also but there’s no way given how this arena looks.

The idea here is that Bruno just wants the title back and Graham is trying to find a way to escape with it as his power isn’t working this time as Bruno might be stronger and is at least just as strong. Bruno works on the knee and hooks a half crab. We get a clip again as the hold is broken. That kind of sucks the drama out of matches and I’m not a fan of it at all.

Graham throws in a low blow and Gorilla seems to be ok with it. On the commentary he claims it might have been in the thigh. Yeah the hand being up around the hips of Bruno really looks like a thigh shot Monsoon. Graham goes up top and misses a knee and Bruno is all fired up again. Ok never mind as he eats post. Billy goes out and gets the belt which Gorilla steals as well. Shame he didn’t do it before the belt hit Bruno’s cranium.

Bruno is BUSTED WIDE OPEN as I channel my inner Gorilla. Graham hits the floor to leave so Gorilla throws him back in the ring. Well you can’t say he’s not active. He says if you look hard enough in the rule book it’s in there. Graham might be busted too and now he can’t get back in the ring.

Gorilla won’t count which is kind of funny. Bruno is ALL FIRED UP and there’s the bearhug again. And there’s a shot to Gorilla but still no DQ. Now that Gorilla’s shirt is just covered in blood he has no real choice but to stop it. It’s kind of hard to question that and he points out that he didn’t have much of a choice.

Rating: B-. Another brutal fight here with all kinds of blood out there. Feuds back then were based more on what happened in the ring rather than what happened on the mic so it’s a very different kind of style. This was a pretty fun match though as Bruno just beat the living tar out of him and Graham kept trying to cheat no matter what he could do. I liked it though.

Here’s a match against another opponent from December 19, 1977 in MSG.

Billy Graham vs. Mil Mascaras

Mascaras is a Mexican legend and one of the biggest stars the country has ever produced. I’ve heard a lot about Mascaras not selling stuff so let’s see if that’s the case or not. Graham is a roided up mess here and likely had to lose the title due to health issues soon after this. The Grand Wizard, Graham’s manager, gets to stay here as he’s promised to be good. I’m not making this up. Fink actually says the words “as long as he behaves.”

And Mascaras sprints off to the back to….uh….apparently he’s getting a burrito? Ah never mind he gets Backlund which is likely to set up the next show. Mascaras goes insane to start us off and just beating the tar out of Graham. They’re going with the basic power vs. speed formula here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mascaras gets a bow and arrow hold and makes Graham dance like a chicken. You’d have to see it to get it but then again this is a book so that makes no sense. Basically graham is flapping his arms around trying to break the hold but since his arms are behind him he looks like he’s trying to fly.

Graham can’t overpower the guy that’s a lot bigger than I expected him to be. We stay in this hold for a LONG time as Graham isn’t smart enough to break it by using the ropes I guess. And of course just as I type that he’s in them. So far it’s been almost all Mascaras which says a lot given the size difference here.

Graham wins a test of strength but Mascaras just keeps out moving him. We hit a full nelson but that doesn’t work either. Graham can’t get anything to keep working at all here which I think is the point of the match. An abdominal stretch is a big deal at the time but lasts a second or two here. There are a LOT of submission holds here and they’re kind of sucking the life out of it.

Vince is also very different here as he’s not talking a mile a minute. That rarely would be the case later on in his more prominent stuff. Wizard shouts instructions to Graham and gets taken away by the POLICE. WOW they took wrestling more seriously back then. There’s the bearhug which is Graham’s finisher at the time. Just like every other hold he’s used though Mascaras counters into his own version.

Graham reaches for the ropes and looks like he’s a large man at a country fair reaching for the last slab of pie in an eating contest. He finally escapes and goes for the mask in an evil move. I say evil because we’re at two minutes and counting so far of him trying to take the mask off. Ah here we go again. Champion goes to the floor and is rammed into the post, cutting him open. Mascaras goes off on him but the ref stops the match due to the cut. Some things never change I guess. That isn’t enough for a title change though as it’s pin or submission only, which makes sense at least.

Rating: B-. It’s slower paced and kind of a clash of styles but the whole Mascaras counters everything was a decent enough story. Backlund coming out to counter the Wizard was a nice touch as it would foreshadow issues between him and the world champion in the coming months, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Graham here was looking like a modern champion in that he was barely surviving but escapes with the title to fight another day despite being outmatched.

While no longer champion, Graham would continue to be a big deal and face Dusty Rhodes on August 28, 1978 in one of the first gimmick matches in MSG history.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Billy Graham

This is a Texas Bullrope match and it’s pin or not being able to answer an 8 (yes 8) count. Jay Strongbow is referee for some reason. Graham doesn’t want to be tied up so Strongbow grabs him and ties him up anyway. Graham keeps running and Dusty keeps pulling him in. The elbow to the head puts Graham down and he tries to run again. Another elbow stuns Graham but he rakes the eyes to get a break.

Dusty gets choked by the rope but Billy misses an elbow drop. The Dream is busted open and Graham hooks his bearhug. That doesn’t last long for some reason so Billy goes up top. That’s REALLY FREAKING STUPID in a bullrope match as Dusty pulls him down to the mat. Billy is busted too and Dusty pounds away. Apparently this is the rubber match in a series. Graham comes back but Strongbow breaks it up for some reason. Dusty elbows him in the head and that’s enough for the 8 count and the win. That was a really abrupt ending.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but unfortunately that wasn’t too long. There’s something cool about letting two guys beat the stuffing out of each other and that’s what happened here. I still don’t get what Strongbow had to do with this but maybe it was Graham’s next feud. Dusty never did much in the WWF but he did enough elsewhere to make up for it.

We’ll jump to Japan for a match at some point in 1979.

Mighty Inoue vs. Billy Graham

Graham spits at him to start before getting in a shot to the throat. Inoue is sent to the floor and rammed into a chair for some choking. He tries to bring the chair into the ring so Graham throws some more in at him. Things settle down with Inoue working over Billy’s leg in the corner but getting choked by the tag rope. The choking is switched over to a chinlock until Inoue cranks on the leg to escape.

They head outside again for more choking with Graham saying to put this on television. Back in and Inoue hammers away before it turns into another battle of the chokes. A pair of dropkicks give the Mighty one control but Graham avoids a third and drives in an elbow to the back. Graham puts him over his shoulder for the backbreaker and a submission.

Rating: C. Energetic match here but the choking got really annoying. At least they kept things moving so that it wasn’t a boring match but the extended holds are getting to be a bit much to sit through. I’m not all that familiar with Inoue but he wasn’t bad at all. The constant choking took away from the match though.

We’ll jump ahead to November 25, 1982 in Philadelphia.

Chief Jay Strongbow vs. Billy Graham

Graham is now bald and a karate master, having lost a lot of weight and muscle. Jay quickly chops him down and cranks on a wristlock to eat up a good chunk of time. Graham goes to the eyes to escape and we hit the bearhug on the Chief. Jay finally escapes and gets choked with tape but it’s time to go on the warpath. Strongbow cleans house but a shot to the jaw sends him to the floor for a VERY fast countout.

Rating: D. This really didn’t work all that well. Graham as the karate guy never worked but he wasn’t going to do the Superstar stuff anymore as Vince Sr. wouldn’t let him turn face. Strongbow was a guy that was popular with the crowd but really doesn’t hold up in modern times due to how generic his offense was.

That’s enough long matches. Here’s a squash from early 1983.

Barry Hart vs. Billy Graham

Barry would later change his last name to Horowitz. Some right hands to the face have Hart in trouble and a back elbow to the jaw puts him down. Barry fights back with a knee lift but Graham quickly sends him to the floor. Back in and a karate chop to the neck is good for the pin.

Graham would head to the NWA in 1985 and appear at Starrcade 1985. I’ll include the setup to the match as well.

Now we get some good old fashioned ARM WRESTLING between Billy Graham and the Barbarian. Graham finally puts him down but Barbarian’s manager Paul Jones whacks Billy with a cane as soon as it’s over. Apparently it’s time for a match.

Barbarian vs. Billy Graham

Barbarian rips at Graham’s face and chokes away like any good monster villain would do. He even bites Billy’s forehead but doesn’t bust him open here. We get a very early bearhug from Barbarian and he slams Billy down, only to miss his top rope headbutt. Graham stomps away and puts on his own bearhug but Jones comes in and breaks it up for the DQ.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? It was barely long enough to rate and the majority of the match was spent in those bearhugs. Graham would be back in the WWF sooner than later and Barbarian would continue to be this same character for about twelve more years. Nothing to see here.

Injuries would slow Graham down but he would come back to the WWF as a monster face for a bit. The injuries would put him on the shelf again, but Graham would come back for one final run in the fall of 1987. Here’s his last match from November 14, 1987.

Butch Reed vs. Billy Graham

Reed jumps him to start and stomps away at Graham’s injured hip. A series of chair shots to the hip has Billy in big trouble and Butch goes after the leg even more. Butch goes up but jumps into a fist to the ribs. Graham has to deal with Slick, allowing the One Man Gang to come in for the DQ.

Gang splashes Graham on the floor, which was the way he was written into retirement. Don Muraco made the save.

To say Billy Graham influenced a lot of wrestlers is an understatement. If you listen to him talk you’ll hear lines used by Dusty Rhodes, Scott Steiner and Hulk Hogan among others. He was far more important on the mic and how he looked than in the ring, but to say he was a big deal is nowhere near a strong enough statement. He also held the World Title longer than any heel ever in the company. That’s quite a record to last over thirty years.

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We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.

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