IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out but the big story tonight is going to focus on something for Wrestlemania. Batista is here to deal with JBL, who tried to run him down on Raw. We’re still not sure who Batista is going to face at Wrestlemania but things are getting interesting. In another Wrestlemania story, tonight we’re getting John Cena vs. Booker T. in a semifinal match in the #1 contenders tournament. Oh and there are currently three matches announced for No Way Out so we need to get some stuff set up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH shoving Batista out of the way of the limo on Monday and Batista saying he was coming here alone tonight.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham is here with Doug. Before the match, Rey calls out the Bashams for tearing up Rob Van Dam’s knee. Don’t worry though because he has a new partner and they’re coming for the titles on Sunday. Since Rey is bad at keeping secrets, he announces Eddie Guerrero has his new partner, meaning here’s Eddie to even things up. Danny runs him over with some shoulders to start so it’s a springboard armdrag to put Danny down as well.

A chase lets Rey try a 619 to send Danny outside but an argument with Eddie lets Doug get in some cheap shots. Rey’s sitout bulldog is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s off to a chinlock. Rey pops up and hits the springboard moonsault press for two, drawing Doug up to the apron. Eddie returns the cheating from earlier by tripping Danny, allowing Rey to hit the 619. Dropping the Dime is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up Sunday’s title match because they don’t have time to give it much attention. That being said, it helps to have a match ready like this with Eddie being inserted in for what was likely a Van Dam/Mysterio rematch. Rey winning was fine and it was very nice to not have it be a tag loss for the champs here, as tends to be the case far too often.

JBL asks Theodore Long what he’s going to do about Batista but Long says it’s not his fault. That makes JBL think Long was behind the attack on Monday to get the title off of him. Long still doesn’t care because Batista is going to be at No Way Out and then on Monday, Long is going to sign him to Smackdown. JBL threatens lawsuits.

We look at the No Way Out press conference with Long promising that this will be the biggest pay per view in the history of Pittsburgh. I don’t quite buy that but it’s a nice line. There are going to be some Divas competitions, which are destined to make my head hurt.

Chavo Guerrero/Spike Dudley/Akio vs. Funaki/Paul London/Shannon Moore

Preview of a six man elimination match for the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday. Shannon and Akio start things off with Akio grabbing a hammerlock and slapping him in the back of the head. That earns him a spinwheel kick to the face and a double suplex with London helping Moore. Chavo comes in and gets headlocked straight down but Akio’s distraction lets Chavo knock London outside. And hang on as here are the four women in the competition on Sunday with signs to campaign for themselves.

After that completely unnecessary cameo, it’s Akio hammering away on London as the previously scheduled match continues. London fights up and brings in Funaki for a high crossbody to start the house cleaning. Everything breaks down with everyone hitting something until Chavo breaks up Funaki’s tornado DDT. London and Moore hit stereo running flip dives to take out Chavo and Akio, leaving Funaki to superkick Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. If you ignore the Diva cameos, this was a nice enough six man with a fast pace and energized ending. Funaki losing all but guarantees that he’s losing the title on Sunday. That’s fine as he hasn’t been the most thrilling champion, though he has certainly been trying and that’s always nice to see.

Wrestlemania ad, this time featuring Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero as Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta from Pulp Fiction. Booker can be quite the intimidating presence, though adding in CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKA at the end of the Ezekiel verse is a bit questionable. Then they accidentally shoot the guy they’re sent to scare because they’re not very good at their jobs.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Invitational. Before we get an opponent out here though, he wishes Booker T. and Cena good luck for Sunday. There’s won’t be any rapping, but there will be some tapping. Angle: “Now can you dig that suckers?” Now get the opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Danny Gimondo

I believe that’s Danny Inferno, who wrestled in OVW as a stereotypical guy from New Jersey but says he’s from Cleveland here. Angle goes after the leg to start but gets kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt as it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the easy win.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: John Cena vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Cena and Angle have a staredown in the ramp to preview Sunday. Cena in a Cleveland Indians jersey is a very welcome sight. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting a shoulder and a hiptoss for two. Some right hands in the corner and an elbow to the face give Cena two more, followed by the armbar. Cena’s big clothesline cuts off the comeback and we hit the front facelock.

It’s way too early for the FU though and a standoff takes us to a break. Back with Cena getting two off a snapmare (A snapmare?) and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Booker hits a heck of a superkick to take over. A spinning kick to the face puts Cena down again but he’s right back up with a flapjack. Booker sends him outside and Tazz wants to talk about Cena’s kidney.

Cena walks into a scoop powerslam for two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up again and Cena hits a flying shoulder to get a breather. The spinebuster takes Cena right back down but the ax kick is countered into the AA. Booker grabs the rope and Booker hits the side kick for two but the Book End is blocked. Cena gets elbowed in the face, which only fires him up enough to hit the AA and advance to No Way Out.

Rating: C+. This story has turned into basically the same thing that happens on Raw: it’s clear that Cena is going on to the World Title match at Wrestlemania so there isn’t much drama to anything Cena, or Batista on Raw, is going to do. That’s not the worst thing in the world either though as Cena is racking up one win after another, which is going to help validate him as the top star on the show. It’s a long road, but it’s a road with the right ending.

Video on last week’s Japan show.

JBL talks to the Cabinet about Batista and mentions that he has fired Amy Weber.

Big Show doesn’t care about Batista showing up because he wants to win the title on Sunday. A barbed wire cage match is unlike anything he’s ever seen but he’s ready to take care of JBL. He doesn’t care if Batista shows up because he’s not getting in. JBL isn’t getting out though, because there is no way out.

Booker runs into Heidenreich, who laughs at him while writing a poem. Booker makes fun of him for being scared of caskets and heavy breathing ensues. There’s your third match announced for No Way Out.

Hall of Fame video, now featuring Roddy Piper.

Nunzio vs. Luther Reigns

Reigns doesn’t waste any time and hits some backbreakers to put Nunzio on the floor early on. A kick to the head rocks Nunzio again and the faceplant neckbreaker completes the squash for Reigns.

Post match Reigns says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker because Undertaker isn’t throwing him off his game. It’s his yard now and if Undertaker wants it back, come take it back.

Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak

The threat of a big boot scares Reigns off so Jindrak tries to get in a cheap shot, earning himself a toss into the corner. Hang on though as Undertaker needs to go outside and beat Reigns up again, only to miss the big boot on Jindrak. That lets Jindrak take him down into the corner for some choking as I wouldn’t bet on the offense lasting long. A dropkick sets up a chinlock, with Undertaker fighting up without much effort. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and there’s the chokeslam. The Tombstone is good for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s almost weird seeing Undertaker in such a short match but it’s not strange to see Jindrak lose again. I don’t remember the last time he won a match and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Reigns is little more than a muscular monster for Undertaker to face before he can do something bigger at Wrestlemania, which is par for the course in February.

Post match, and before the bell is even done ringing, Reigns hits Undertaker in the back of the head with a camera. He’s sitting up before Reigns can even get up the ramp so Reigns knows he’s done on Sunday.

Carlito comes in to see Long, who is not happy to see him. The decision on Long’s future is coming next week, which doesn’t sit well with Carlito. Long doesn’t care because he’s working on signing Batista this Monday. A staredown of two very different looking heads ensues.

No Way Out rundown, now featuring a six match card.

John Cena accuses Josh Matthews of liking boy bands when Angle comes up. They talk about Cena’s first match in the WWE where Angle beat him. Cena is tired of hearing about not belonging here (Angle: “You don’t.”) or not being good enough (Angle: “You’re not.”) or being a punk kid (Angle: “You are.”). Cena knows that he almost had Angle in his debut and on Sunday, Angle is looking at a hungry son of a b**** who is going to Wrestlemania.

JBL and the Cabinet are ready for Batista.

Here are JBL and the Cabinet to address the Batista situation. JBL isn’t someone to try and attack Batista with a car because he’ll face Batista like he has everyone else. If Batista wants some, come get it right now. Oh and Big Show needs to watch if he can put down the pizza. Batista arrives in the parking lot and takes a look at JBL’s limo. He’s not done though and pulls a baseball bat out of his own very nice car.

The limo windows are promptly destroyed and Batista breaks the longhorns with his bare hands. After making sure he looks ok in the side mirror, Batista gets back in his car as the Cabinet runs up the ramp. Batista drives away so here’s Big Show to go after JBL. The Cabinet runs out but here’s Batista again for the save. JBL and the Cabinet bail with a lot of yelling ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a great show as a lot of stuff feels like it doesn’t matter on the way to Wrestlemania. The top two title matches have been known for a long time now but there is only so much that you can do to fill time before you start the actual build to those matches. The rest of the show wasn’t the most thrilling in the world, but the Booker vs. Cena match wasn’t bad and Batista continues to look incredible, even on another show. Then again, none of this matters as next week starts the real build and even though everyone knows what’s coming, the interest goes up because of the big matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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We’re down to the final two and this is one of the harder ones to get through. Over the years, wrestling tries all kinds of things to get their wrestlers over. In this case, we’re going to be looking at the worst angles of the year. Which stories that WWE put effort behind wound up going nowhere and doing more harm than good for everyone involved? As usual, these are in no particular order.

1. Cesaro and Sheamus’ Excellent Adventure

Over the course of the end of the summer and a good chunk of the fall, Sheamus and Cesaro engaged in a best of seven series for a future championship opportunity. While the matches were entertaining enough, the fans really seemed to get tired of the same match over and over again. I was one of them and, knowing WWE, I had a bad feeling they would somehow have the series end in a draw and give Sheamus and Cesaro a Tag Team Title match instead.

AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DID! No matter how much people were sick of seeing them fight, now it was time to see them as a tag team who still fought each other despite going after a title. They actually wound up winning the titles off New Day but that doesn’t really make up for everything we had to sit through on the way there.

This was a good example of having to put up with what WWE wanted whether we were interested in seeing it or not. While the end result wasn’t the worst, it was the equivalent of going to the dentist, having a tooth pulled, and then hearing your condescending dad say “oh come on it wasn’t THAT bad”. Yeah, actually it was that bad and in this case it took the better part of four months to finally get to the point.

2. Emmalina Debuts. Eventually.

Injuries are horrible things in any sport and wrestling in particular as there’s no off season to eat up some of the down time. In this case, Emma was put down with a horrible back injury that has left her off TV for several months. While she’s been working house shows as a special guest referee for some of the women’s six man tags, she hasn’t been seen on WWE TV in a long time.

Well not live at least. Instead we’ve been getting vignettes for the Makeover of Emmalina, which really seems to just be Emma in various swimsuits. During her time on the main roster, Emma hasn’t exactly been one of the women to turn up the sex appeal but that’s what we’re getting here for some reason. These vignettes have been going on for months now and there’s no indication that they’ll be ending anytime soon.

The worst case scenario is that this is the female version of Brodus Clay. You might remember that idea: over the course of several months, we were teased with the unveiling of Clay as a monster (which we had seen before). What we wound up with was Clay as a dancer in bright red and called the Funkasaurus. I liked the surprise, but I have a bad feeling about what WWE might find funny.

3. Anderson and Gallows Aren’t Funny

Speaking of comedy, we have this gem. Over the course of the year, Anderson and Gallows chased New Day for the Tag Team Titles, just like several other teams. Anderson and Gallows came close to defeating them a few times but could never actually get their hands on the belts. They could however do one thing over and over: put on some of the worst, most unfunny vignettes you’ll ever see.

The big problem with them was they tried to use the WWE brand of “comedy”, which is to beat you over the head with the same joke until your head hurts from getting the same idea over and over again. These were such brilliant ideas as “New Day is old and we work at a retirement home” or “we’re doctors and want to crush New Day’s testicles”. That’s really the best thing they can do to sell a title match on a pay per view?

Overall it just wasn’t a good idea and I don’t know of anyone who actually enjoyed the vignettes. They weren’t funny and they didn’t advance the story to any special degree. Anderson and Gallows might be able to get in a few little chuckles here and there but they’re not the kind of people who are going to get somewhere by just saying “Hey, here are jokes! LAUGH WITH US!”

4. Roman Reigns vs. Lana

I really don’t even know where to start with this one. So back in the fall, Reigns started feuding with Rusev over the United States Championship. Around the same time, Rusev and Lana were married and spent a lot of time bragging about how amazing their wedding was. One of these nights included a party, which of course had a cake. As you might expect, Reigns came out and crashed the party which included shoving Lana’s face into the cake.

Let me make that a little bit more clear: Rusev and Lana were celebrating the fact that they were married and Reigns shoved Lana’s face into a cake for no real reason other than they were considered bad guys. How in the world is this supposed to make me want to cheer for Reigns in the situation? In what way is he the good guy in this whole story?

I know WWE is obsessed with the idea of making Reigns into the king of all things good and wholesome about wrestling. Somehow though, I don’t think this is the best way to go about the whole thing. People aren’t going to look at Reigns and think he did anything great. Well in theory at least, but I’m not sure I’d want those people to be supporting my product in the first place. This is just a horrible idea that doesn’t make a bit of sense, unless you’re in some weird WWE style mindset.

5. Naked Enzo Amore

It wasn’t a good year for Lana and these stupid stories. One night on “Monday Night Raw”, Big Cass locked Amore out of their dressing room and, because it’s a wrestling show, Amore was missing his clothes. If that’s not bad enough, he then ran into Lana. This turned into an awkward flirting session with Lana seemingly getting into the idea. Rusev wasn’t cool with it though and wound up destroying Amore as a result.

This continued the following week as Rusev and Lana seemingly had a fight, which led to Amore offering a shoulder to cry on. As a result, Lana invited Amore to her hotel room for some, ahem, entertainment. Since Amore isn’t the smartest guy in the world, he accepted and wound up getting one heck of a beating from Rusev, who was of course waiting on them in a trap.

What in the world was the point of something like this? I know it gets us to Cass vs. Rusev but did we really have to sit through Amore hitting on a married woman while standing around without any clothes on? It was awkward, it felt really out of place and while funny, it really wasn’t the best way for them to go.

6. James Ellsworth

Now this is a case where your individual miles may vary. Ellsworth debuted in WWE back in July in a match where he was completely destroyed by Braun Strowman. While being off TV for a bit, Ellsworth would be brought back as a mystery partner for AJ Styles, which resulted in several weeks worth of appearances, including a series of victories over Styles in non-title matches, one of which gained Ellsworth a contract.

Those losses are where a lot of people gave up on the story. Ellsworth wasn’t around long and he was defeating the Smackdown World Champion. I mean, Ambrose was helping him but that doesn’t make it the best idea in the world. It was all about setting up something between Ambrose and Styles and the title was never in any real danger but the champion still lost three times in a row.

That being said, Ellsworth being around was still very tiresome for a lot of people. He overstayed his welcome in the main event and even influenced the ending of the main event at “Tables Ladders and Chairs 2016”. It also doesn’t help that Ellsworth didn’t really gain anything as a result. He’s still the comedy goof that was fun to cheer for over a few weeks but then was just kind of there as the story wouldn’t end.

7. Shane McMahon’s Lock Box

If the Lana stories were just stupid, this one is something that was so confusing that a lot of the audience just gave up trying to figure out what was going on. The problem here was very simple: we never actually got an explanation for what was going on. Shane returned and got into an argument with his father Vince over who would get to run “Monday Night Raw”.

Shane brought up something about a lock box that contained evidence of Vince doing…..something so Shane agreed to put up its contents against running the show. The match wound up being against the Undertaker at “Wrestlemania XXXII” and Shane lost (thankfully). Depending on who you believe, Shane was originally going to win but Undertaker put his foot down.

This brings us to the second problem. After the match with Undertaker was over, Vince just gave Shane control of “Monday Night Raw” anyway, making the whole thing a big waste of time. It was a fun idea when Shane returned but the whole thing wound up being a huge mess over something that was never made clear in the first place. And what did this wind up being? More McMahon drama, because that’s all any of the big stories around WWE would become.

8. Triple H Likes ME Better!

Oh boy this one. Do you remember “Clash of the Champions 2016” with its main event of Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens for the Universal Title? The match itself was fine but do you remember why it was happening? Allegedly it was over the title but I’m talking about the real reason. What were most of the promos about and what did Rollins say his end goal was?

Well that would be proving to Triple H and Stephanie McMahon that HE should have been the chosen one that was receiving the Authority’s backing instead of Owens. That’s right: this was all about Owens and Rollins trying to impress the McMahon and Triple H, the latter of whom had handed Owens the title in a four way elimination match. Think about that for a minute: this match was about people trying to impress their boss, as in the top heel of the company who was never there.

And people wonder why the match and feud was so poorly received. This whole thing was a complete mess and made both guys look like someone who had no idea what they were doing and had no business being anywhere near the main event. When your whole story is about who should have been Triple’s protege and featured star. Not a title, not a personal feud and not even fighting over the profits from a lemonade stand. No, this was all about the Authority and how they were really more important than anything else on the show.

9. The Cabinet

How can I put this? Ah yes: the Cabinet WAS NOT FUNNY. I know everyone went election crazy in 2016 and almost every wrestling promotion tried to do something with it (such as making Darren Young great again) but Ring of Honor decided that they needed a full on election committee.

Comprised of Kenny King, Rhett Titus and Caprice Coleman (all with rather stupid nicknames such as the Secretary of Shoulders), the group wanted to make wrestling great again. It was beating you over the head with an idea and it just wasn’t funny. Everyone knew the story was dead after the election was over and that’s what happened. The team wasn’t done though and then it got even worse.

Now the team is called the Rebellion. Yes the Rebellion, which is just below the Revolution on the list of REALLY STUPID TEAM NAMES THAT EVERY PROMOTION HAS HAD SOME VERSION OF OVER THE YEARS. This was really low intelligence and uninspired booking, which isn’t something that should be happening in Ring of Honor. Be creative with it somehow because this was a disaster.

As tempted as I am to go with Rollins and Owens, I’ve got to go with Cesaro and Sheamus. This was a situation where we knew what they were going to do and then we had to sit through it for months on end with only one ending in sight. I have no idea why WWE wanted to do this one storyline so much or why they kept shoving it down our throats but this is what we were getting, whether we liked it or not. Most people didn’t and WWE did it anyway, which is why it’s the worst angle of the year.

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Ring of Honor
Date: November 2, 2016
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Steve Corino, Kevin Kelly

We’re still in Lowell and things are slowly starting to get ready for Final Battle. Kyle O’Reilly is probably on his way through the Bullet Club to get to Adam Cole and that’s likely going to include a tag match with Cole and Adam Page against ReDRagon, which has the potential to be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of ReDRagon vs. the Adam’s.

Opening sequence.

Donovan Dijak vs. Danny Miles

The fans know this is going to hurt. Dijak kicks the handshake away and mauls Miles into the corner with forearms. The chokebreaker and back to back to back Feast Your Eyes wrap this up at 2:17.

Prince Nana says Dijak will never quit.

We look at the Motor City Machine Guns brawling with the Bullet Club after last week’s show went off the air.

The Briscoes are ready for the Addiction.

Briscoe Brothers vs. Addiction

Actually hang on a second as the Addiction is in street clothes. Frankie says they’re too banged up from Ladder War to compete here before going into the Briscoes’ legacy here in ROH. When Kazarian thinks about legacies, he thinks about Christopher Daniels, who has given everything he has to Ring of Honor and it’s Kazarian’s privilege to stand beside him and fight the wars with him. The Addiction leaves as I wonder what has lit a fire under them with these promos lately. I’m not a big Daniels fan but I’d love to see these speeches go somewhere.

The Briscoes say they didn’t lace their boots up for nothing so let’s get the Young Bucks out here right now for a World Tag Team Title shot.

Adam Page/Adam Cole vs. Briscoe Brothers

The Adam’s are here because the Bucks are still banged up. The Briscoes fight off an early ambush and it’s Page vs. Mark to start, only to have Cole jump Mark from behind. It’s Page sending Mark into the corner as the villains take over early on. The announcers use the stomping time to talk about Cole’s long list of challengers, which is one of the better uses of such time that you’re going to see.

We come back from a break with Mark having to fight off the double teaming with an enziguri to Cole. The hot tag brings in Jay (who is oddly booed) for a hard clot and neckbreaker on Page. Jay loads up the Jay Driller on the champ but takes a World Title shot to the head for the DQ at 7:30.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but I’m digging Page getting a push. He showed he can go in the feud with Jay Briscoe and it’s not like you can ever have too much talent. The Briscoes are one of those teams who can be fine no matter how many times they lose and I’m sure they’ll get another Tag Team Title feud soon enough.

ReDRagon makes the save despite Fish barely being able to move due to bad ribs.

Matt Taven says the Kingdom debuts next week.

Jay Lethal thinks he’ll get the World Title back in London.

We recap the Six Man Tag Team Title tournament so far.

Caprice Coleman says the Cabinet is ready to win the belts.

Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: The Cabinet vs. ACH/Jay White/Kushida

This is for a spot in the finals, despite the other half of the bracket not even starting yet. The Cabinet does their protest of the handshake but jump the good guys, meaning it’s time to stomp on White. We come back from a way too early break with White still in trouble until he kicks Coleman and Titus off the apron.

It’s off to ACH (now Super ACH apparently, which I actually kind of dig) and everything speeds up in a hurry. The announcers talk about how this is more traditional in Japan, which is as close of an admittance to “we’re doing it because New Japan did” as you’re going to get. The Hoverboard Lock sends Coleman to the ropes for a hilarious “GET HIM OFF ME!” in a high pitched voice.

Coleman’s arm gets worked on with a variety of wristlocks. King low bridges ACH to the floor as everything breaks down again. We come back from another break with King suplexing ACH for two as Corino thinks he and Kelly can get Nigel McGuinness to come out of retirement and win the belts.

ACH sends Coleman and Titus together and brings in Kushida to clean house. Everything breaks down and Titus gets triple teamed until Coleman and King have to save a pin. The Sky Splitter gets two on White and Kushida kicks King and Titus to the floor. A Rock Bottom plants Coleman and the Midnight Star gives ACH the pin at 21:07.

Rating: B-. I really can’t stand this tournament, though the Cabinet being eliminated helps a lot. They’re really not hiding the fact that these titles exist because New Japan has them and that doesn’t do much for me as a fan. You have three guys thrown together against a team with a stupid gimmick and if you win three matches in a row you get titles? These things just exist and I need more than that to care.

Overall Rating: C. This show was kind of all over the place with the tournament eating up a bunch of time, a quick squash and a long segment involving the Briscoes. It’s certainly not a bad episode but it basically comes down to your stance on the tournament. If you like that, you’ll like this show. If you’ve grown sick of all things New Japan like I have solely because of ROH, this probably isn’t your favorite show.

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Ring of Honor
Date: October 19, 2016
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Steve Corino, Kevin Kelly

It’s FINALLY back to the main storylines which are…..actually I can barely remember. That’s the problem with this company: it’s been multiple weeks since All-Star Extravaganza and I really don’t remember most of what happened last time. I know we’re gearing up for Final Battle and that means Kyle O’Reilly vs. Adam Cole for the ROH World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of Ladder War with the Young Bucks winning the Tag Team Titles. As much as I can’t stand them, it makes sense to put the titles on them.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Bullet Club en masse for an opening chat. Matt says All-Star Extravaganza was a FIVE STAR Extravaganza and Nick says they’re the best team in the world. Adam Cole declares STORY TIME, which means it’s time to hear about how great the Club is. They’re going to get the newly created Trios Titles as well and the Club is going to be stronger than ever. Really not much to this one but I’d much rather have a short opening promo than something needlessly filling time.

We see a clip of Silas Young winning the Honor Rumble.

Jay Lethal is ready for Young tonight and promises to get the World Title back.

Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine

War Machine dives through the ropes to take out Taylor and Lee as we start fast. Rowe is slammed onto Lee as the announcers acknowledge a lack of countouts or disqualifications here. Hanson beats on Taylor as we’re still waiting on the first count. They head inside for the first time, only to have Lee backdrop Rowe onto both partners. A big cannonball from the apron has Lee crushing everyone as we take a break.

Back with the brawling continues and all four guys actually in the ring. Rowe tosses Taylor with an exploder suplex but Lee POUNCES ROWE ACROSS THE RING. A double chokeslam plants Hanson for two and he’s busted open off something in there. Now it’s Lee left alone but Taylor trips Hanson from the floor. An AA powerslam gets two on Hanson and THEY ACTUALLY BOTHER WITH A TAG. Like, why?

Hanson takes Taylor out with a Whoopee Cushion (sure why not) out of the corner and brings Rowe back in. Fallout gets two on Lee and Taylor’s sitout powerbomb gets the same on Rowe. Hanson misses a top rope splash as there’s nothing between these big moves. For some reason Lee tries a moonsault, only to have Rowe roll out of the way, setting up a Canadian Destroyer for the pin on Lee at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was out of the Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome playbook: take some big, strong guys and have them beat on each other for an extended periods of time. I’m not sure if there’s any need for them to fight again and it’s good that War Machine got the win here after losing so many times.

Taylor and Lee wipe War Machine out post match.

Caprice Coleman says the Cabinet is ready to win the election for the Six Man Titles.

We finally get a bracket for the tournament.

ACH/Kushida/Jay White

Jason Kincaid/Leon St. Giovanni/Shaheem Ali

The Cabinet

Addiction/Kamaitachi

Team CMLL

The Kingdom

Bullet Club

So yeah: this REALLY doesn’t need to exist but Japan has them and that makes it awesome.

Six Man Tag Team Titles Tournament First Round: Jason Kincaid/Leon St. Giovanni/Shaheem Ali vs. The Cabinet

The introduction says this is Block A. Please, PLEASE tell me that this is just an eight team tournament and not double that. Maybe Block A is another attempt to make this sound like a Japanese tournament. It’s still stupid but it would make me feel better. Oh wait we can’t start yet because, I kid you not, the Cabinet needs to take a knee during the Code of Honor. Ali and King miss a variety of kicks against each other and it’s time for more kneeling in protest.

The Kingdom triple teams Ali and poses AGAIN (we’re less than three minutes in and that’s three times they’ve done the same bit), this time earning themselves dropkicks to the back. The makeshift team does some big, complicated triple team leg stretch spot on Coleman but Kincaid gets distracted off the top.

Back from a break with King missing another kick and allowing the hot tag to Shaheem. Everything breaks down with Leon coming in to spin into clotheslines. The former All Night Express cleans house until Kincaid slingshots in with a spinning cutter. A coast to coast dropkick gets two on Titus, who also blocks Leon’s Phoenix splash. The Sky Splitter ends Leon at 9:50.

Rating: C. At least the Cabinet is finally doing something other than getting on my nerves with their stupid promos. This wasn’t bad and did something to keep the tournament going but the kneeling continues to get on my nerves. I’ve never been a fan of current events characters and this made the Cabinet even worse than they were in the first place.

Jay Lethal vs. Silas Young

Feeling out process to start with Young flipping out of a wristlock and grabbing a rollup for two. A quick springboard dropkick knocks Young out to the floor and hits the back to back suicide dives because WE HAVE TO HAVE A SUICIDE DIVE. Lethal even hits a third because we need to kill a few more minutes. Adam Cole comes out to commentary and we take a break.

Back with Young driving a knee into Jay’s back and slapping on a chinlock. It’s too early for Misery though and a kick sends Silas sprawling across the ring. The Lethal Combination sets up Hail to the King but Jay tries one too many finishers, meaning the Lethal Injection is broken up. A cutter gets two for Young and it’s time for Cole to head down to ringside. That means Kyle O’Reilly needs to do his regular run-in to cut the champ off but he gets on the apron to distract Young by mistake. A quick rollup gives Lethal the pin at 11:07.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than I was expecting to but the ending was messier than it needed to be. It’s a good move to start elevating some fresh names into the main event and Young hasn’t exactly been doing anything else lately. I’d assume we’re getting a fourway at a house show at some point and that’s fine as a way to bridge us to Cole vs. O’Reilly.

Kyle brainbusts Cole to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Good wrestling, interesting stories and no need for the New Japan guys. Ring of Honor is a fun promotion that can do a lot of things when they act like themselves for more than five minutes and that’s what we got here. That main event scene has me intrigued and it’s nice to have the focus be back on the stuff that ROH does well.

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Ring of Honor
Date: August 31, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Matt Taven, Kevin Kelly

This is another show that’s only kind of related to the main stories but there’s a chance that we might get some new stuff this week. If nothing else there is a title match this week as the Addiction defends the Tag Team Titles against the Young Bucks. Last week’s stand alone show was good so hopefully they can continue that trend here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine

Grudge match between two big teams. Kelly finally explains the story as Ray Rowe trained Taylor but Taylor turned on him and decided he was ready to be part of the better team. That’s a story that is going to work every single time and it’s fine here. Thankfully they don’t even bother wrestling here as it’s a huge brawl with Hanson dives onto Taylor, only to have Lee land on his feet to counter a monkey flip. The brawl heads outside with Lee and Hanson both being sent into barricades. War Machine starts getting the better of it with Rowe slamming Hanson onto Lee for a good looking crash.

Back in and Taylor slugs it out with Hanson, only to have Lee come over to really take over for the first time. We take a break and come back with Hanson on offense, only to get caught in something like a double chokeslam. A blind tag brings in Rowe and a springboard clothesline into a German suplex gets two on Lee. Rowe gets caught in an AA into a Jackhammer (that was SWEET) for two with Hanson making the save. Lee somehow kicks out of a sitout powerbomb and a suplex into a sitout powerbomb puts Hanson away at 11:28.

Rating: B. This was the PERFECT way to book this match and I liked it more than I was expecting to. There was no reason to waste time with the regular tag stuff so they just had two teams beat the heck out of each other with one big power move after another. Sometimes you need to switch up the booking and go with what makes sense and that’s exactly what we got here.

David Starr vs. Cheeseburger vs. Joey Daddiego vs. Tim Hughes

Bob Evans is on commentary and here’s BJ Whitmer to sit in on commentary. The four guys in the ring do nothing interesting as we hear about BJ going around the world and eating a positive cookie. Starr dives onto Hughes and Evans and Daddiego throws Cheeseburger onto them as well. Hughes takes forever to give Cheeseburger a side slam as Whitmer keeps saying it’s almost time.

The lights go out and we’re told that the new Purple Haze is coming. Back in the ring and……PUNISHER MARTINEZ IS BACK! House is cleaned for the no contest at 4:12 though we didn’t see enough to rate. To be fair it was just background noise so Whitmer could bring out Martinez. I’m really happy with this guy being back but PLEASE don’t let this be about Kevin Sullivan.

The Young Bucks promises a superkick party and kick the camera down.

Dalton Castle/The Boys vs. Cabinet

Coleman throws the Boys around so it’s off to Castle for a chest thrust-off. Dalton sends him outside and then launches the Boys over the top onto the Cabinet, hopefully breaking some of the doors and handle off the thing so it goes away for a long time. Back from a break with Boy #1 (the announcers’ words) getting triple teamed. King snaps #1’s throat across the top and it’s time for some twin magic, despite the Boys having different hair styles. The hot tag brings in Castle and of course everything breaks down. King kicks a lot and superplexes #2 to set up a guillotine legdrop/frog splash combo for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: D. The Cabinet couldn’t be less interesting if their lives depended on it. They don’t even have characters for the most part and it’s just a single idea that is tied into pop culture. You would expect that from WWE instead of a “smarter” company like Ring of Honor. The wrestling was watchable enough but I have no reason to care about the Cabinet and the live fans didn’t seem impressed either.

Adam Cole is sick of Kyle O’Reilly and knows he’s better because of the two World Title reigns.

Tag Team Titles: Addiction vs. Young Bucks

Veda Scott is on commentary. Addiction is defending and wait for the Bucks in the aisle. Therefore, since the Bucks are the best team ever, they sneak up on the Addiction, apparently just knowing the champs would be doing that. Daniels gets dropkicked in the face as we’re waiting on the opening bell. Some tables are set up at ringside and it’s Kazarian clotheslining the Bucks down to get a breather. A ladder is brought in as Veda suggests she could represent Taven on commentary if he gets even more injured.

Back from a break and I guess the bell rang while we were gone. Daniels breaks up More Bang For Your Buck by sending Nick off the top and through a table, followed by Matt slingshotting into a cutter for a near fall. Veda talks about the Bucks never beating the Addiction and that horrible voice makes it clear why she’s rarely allowed to talk.

Daniels and Kazarian hit back to back to back to back Lionsaults and spinning legdrops for no cover as the heel champions wrestle like heels and the “heels” wrestle like the faces they really are. Matt finally flips off the top into a cutter of his own as the Bucks take over again. Nick’s Swanton hits knees (feet but close enough) but Matt springboards into a DDT onto the apron to knock Kazarian silly. Hey, did you know that’s the hardest part of the ring?

Daniels comes right back with a suicide dive but Angel’s Wings is broken up with, you guessed it, a superkick. Cue Kamaitachi for a distraction but the Motor City Machine Guns come out (WAY too fast) for the save, only to have Nick dive onto the Guns. In the melee, Sabin accidentally hits Matt with the chair to give Daniels the pin at 9:15.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of either team but it’s not like the tag division exactly has a lot of options at the moment anyway. The match was a bit more reined in than most Bucks match and I’m glad that they’re not going with the Bullet Club holding all of the titles at once, at least not so soon. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Kamaitachi other than he has something to do with New Japan and they’re amazing or something.

Kevin Kelly calls this a travesty after talking about how the Bucks break the rules all the time. I’m not even going to bother complaining about it this time as you’ve heard it before.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the opener and the booking of the main event was a nice plus so we can kind of overlook the boring Cabinet match. It also helps that the expectations are a bit lower because it’s not a regular show with major storyline development, leaving us with just the wrestling to carry things. Good enough show here as ROH is getting a lot more steady, which is a really important step.

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