Lucha Underground
Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

As the first Lucha Underground Champion, it was only a matter of time before Prince Puma found his first challenger. In this case it’s the monster non-luchador Cage, which is a great choice for a monster for Puma to slay before he moves on to his next opponent and likely the first major feud. Let’s get to it.

We look back at Cuerno vs. Drago last week and tonight it’s last man standing.

Cortez Castro/Cisco vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Mascarita Sagrada

Escarlata dances a lot and the referee isn’t sure what to do. The Crew starts double teaming Escarlata but he comes back with a wristdrag/headscissors combination to take over as Big Ryck is shown scowling in the crowd. Cisco misses a running dropkick in the corner but Castro sneaks in a kick to the head, allowing Cisco to hit a running shot to take over.

A senton backsplash gets two for Cisco and it’s back to Castro for two of his own off a suplex. It’s off to Sagrada (who I watched on a Raw from 1997 earlier today so he’s got to be up there in years) for a top rope hurricanrana but Cisco kicks him in the face. Well the mask but close enough. Sagrada hits a big dive to the floor to take out Bael and Escarlta kisses Cisco to the floor because he’s a comedy character you see. A huge dive takes the Crew down but they pop back up again for a 3D into a Codebreaker to pin Sagrada.

Rating: D. Well at least they’re keeping the comedy guys together instead of letting them go all over the show. The Crew has taken a major step backwards in the last few weeks and I was kind of liking them not being around any longer. I don’t know why I’m supposed to care about any of them as they’re interchangeable lackeys for Big Ryck.

The snarling Ryck gets in the ring after the match and hands Cisco his cigar. He wants everyone to hear this: someday he’s coming after the gold and doesn’t care who is carrying it, because everyone must appear before the judgment of Big Ryck. The Crew jumps him from behind and destroys Ryck before putting his cigar in his eye. They all leave and are shown going into Cueto’s office.

After a break, Cueto pays off the Crew for taking care of Ryck. So we have some hired goons, which makes more sense for them as they’re really not interesting because they don’t have characters, so make them guns for hire.

We get a sitdown interview with Cage, who doesn’t care if people like him or not. He’s here to make money and win titles. I love how this company is built around making money. That’s little more than a plot point occasionally but here it’s one of the major reasons for everything happening. I like that bit of realism every now and then and it’s working well. Vampiro nearly gets in Cage’s face during the interview but Cage’s intensity convinces Vampiro that he’s the real deal. He’s good as a monster for Puma to conquer before probably dropping down to the midcard or leaving and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Super Fly vs. Pentagon Jr.

Time for the standard high flying lucha match of the week. Pentagon runs him over to start but eats a superkick as Striker says Pentagon builds his entire career off being different from Octagon. I thought he did it by being the second person to use the Pentagon character but that’s just me. Super Fly superkicks him down but takes one of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard to send him outside.

Something like an AA on the floor has Super Fly in even more trouble but a double clothesline back inside puts both guys down. A Tajiri handspring into a wristdrag puts Pentagon down and Super Fly hits a cartwheel into a moonsault over the top for a big crash. Back in after about two seconds and Pentagon kicks him in the face for two as the selling still isn’t a strong suit around here. A package piledriver of all things is enough to knock Super Fly out cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent match here but the lack of selling is starting to get on my nerves. You could at least stay on the mat for a few seconds after a big spot but it doesn’t see to be something done in lucha libre. That being said, it’s certainly more exciting this way and more of a roller coster ride to the end, which is the style they seem to be going for.

Post match Pentaon Jr. says he was misled by Chavo and is going to bring in the one man that he knows he can trust to help him out. As is the case in wrestling, no name is given.

El Mariachi Loco vs. Sexy Star

Loco’s character is actually funny as he was a cook in a Mexican restaurant and just showed up one day. Feeling out process to start with Star hooking a big headscissors and Loco bails to the floor. Back in and a bicycle kick stuns Loco but he drop toeholds her down. A hard chop in the corner has Star in trouble until she low bridges him to the floor. Striker: “How stupid is that guy?” Star hits a huge cross body from the top to the floor but Loco drops her throat first across the top rope. Loco misses a Swanton though and gets small packaged for the pin.

Rating: D. So wait, is Star supposed to be someone in way over her head or the chick that can wrestle with anyone? Loco is a guy that passes a hat around for tips after a match and used to work in a restaurant but Star can’t hit a big move on him for a pin? That’s not quite what I expected from someone they’re pushing like her, but it could have been a lot worse.

King Cuerno vs. Drago

Last man standing. Cuerno charges into an enziguri to start and Drago dropkicks him out to the floor. A high flip dive takes him down for six before Drago hits something like an Orton DDT from the top rope for six, sending Cuerno rolling back to the floor. Drago loads up a dive but gets caught in a Bubba Bomb but Cuerno throws him back inside instead of letting the count go up.

Two German suplexes into a brainbuster get eight on Dragon and Cuerno just kicks him in the head to stagger him again. Back up and Drago hits something like a running Blockbuster before having the referee drop down as a launch pad for a hurricanrana. Another hurricanrana sends both guys to the floor with Drago getting up first. Back in and Cuerno just kicks Drago’s head off to put him down again. A legdrop gets six or seven before Cuerno throws him outside and loads up a table.

Drago fights back with some rapid fire strikes but gets rammed head first into the post four times in a row to slow him right back down. Cuerno loads him onto the table but Drago pops up and kicks Cuerno down for a break. Not that it matters as the King slugs him down and hits the Thril of the Hunt off the apron through the table for…..eight? Cuerno is livid so he hits a running dropkick to a seated Drago in the corner. Instead of letting the referee count, Cuerno ties Drago to the ropes for the ten count to win.

Rating: B-. It’s a good and violent match but I’m not wild on Cuerno winning like that. Much like Sexy Star, they don’t seem to know what kind of a character they want him to be. He’s been vicious and violent but is now getting cheap victories like this one. Then again, Cuerno is one of my favorites in Lucha Underground and I want to see him move on to something fresh.

Cuerno puts the deer head on Drago to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Again they’re doing a nice job of mixing things up instead of just having the same characters out there every week. It’s a good lesson that only NXT and Lucha Underground seem to understand, which is one of the best things they could do. Good, fun show here which flies by just like it does every week.

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Rebellion 2001
Date: November 3, 2001
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,612
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I continue my war on Europe here with the next to last European PPV, Rebellion 2001. This is at the very tail end of the Alliance era so the main event is Austin vs. Rock for the title. Well you can’t say they’re giving us a weak main event. This card actually looks great on paper, but I’ve been fooled by stuff like that before. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Austin vs. Rock. Could it be about anything else? A lot of the audio clips are from the Mania buildup also which is fine. Ross doesn’t exactly seem huge on being here tonight. There’s a WCW Title match tonight with Angle, who just joined the Alliance, challenging Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

This is in a cage. Well you can’t say they’re starting slowly here. Christian is European Champion here and Edge is IC Champion. Christian won his title the Tuesday before this in America. In other words, the Canadian won the European Title in America but isn’t defending the European Title in Europe against a Canadian but will when he gets back to America. Well it was the WORLD Wrestling Federation.

They’re still brothers at this point. Christian tries to run early on which gets him nowhere. Why couldn’t this be on that Inside the Steel Cage thing I watched recently? Edge misses a spear and his shoulder hits the post. It’s pin, submission or escape here. Back breaker gets two for Christian. It’s weird seeing him in the shirt and with long hair still.

Ross says Edge has spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt. The match has been going on less than five minutes and he’s already busting out the metaphors. Christian almost gets out but Edge makes the DIVING, yes DIVING I say, save. Almost all Christian here. And of course as I say that Edge gets a release Gordbuster from the middle rope and a cross body for two.

And we hit the chinlock for awhile now. Ross: we would never be argumentative. Paul: I disagree with that. Funny stuff. Another good one: Ross: you never praised Christian this much before he joined the Alliance. Paul: we weren’t paying him then. These two are awesome together. Edge gets a spear out of NOWHERE to put Christian down but he can’t capitalize.

Edgecution gets two. I still like that better as a finisher than the Spear. Edge-O-Matic gets less than three as well. They slug it out and Christian eats cage. Christian gets one leg over the top and that’s about it. In a very fun ending, Christian gets most of the way out as in he needs to drop to get out.

Edge grabs his boots and crotches him against the cage. He takes the tape off his wrists and ties Christian’s boots together and climbs out to win it. That was a nice little ending and it worked much better than most of the other generic endings you usually get. Also nice to see an escape rather than a stupid pin or something.

Rating: C. Pretty basic stuff here but the crowd was into it and things went pretty well here, especially considering it’s not like this is anything special outside of a big house show. The ending really helped it out a lot. A good ending like that can work wonders for something like this and it certainly did here.

We recap Angle joining the Alliance which wound up being a ploy by Vince to make the WWF Team win at Survivor Series.

Chavo is interviewing the Divas tonight. Bill DeMott comes up and says that HE is doing that tonight. These two were fired from the Alliance and were doing some weird fired angle that went nowhere. They’ll do the interviews tonight apparently. Trish has no shirt on and they get all nervous. She suggests they talk to Lita. More on this later I guess. Great.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Hurricane

Heyman’s intro for Hurricane is great stuff. Basic stuff to start so far with nothing really going on early on. Hurricane (Gregory/Shane Helms) is in the Alliance here. This is just going nowhere at all. The bulldog to set up the Worm is blocked. Crowd is more or less dead here. Helms gets a Blockbuster for two.

We get what’s called a Ne-Han in No Mercy from the Hurricane. You cross the other guy’s arms in an X shape and pull back on them like a camel clutch. And then Hurricane lets it go to put on his cape. And so much for that as Scotty gets a DDT and both guys are down. and both guys are down. Kick by Scotty gets two.

Hurricane does a Worm of his own which doesn’t work. Chokeslam gets two. A rollup with ropes gets two. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked into the bulldog and there’s the Worm. I hate that move. Since it’s a chop to the neck after the other guy has forever to get better, it gets the in.

Rating: D. This match sucked. It was just boring on all accounts and the fans could tell. This should have been a dark match so of course they let it go on the actual show. Scotty was over for absolutely no apparent reason. This went nowhere at all and was boring beyond belief. Also, the freaking Worm got the pin. Get on to something else.

Trish tries to get the fired dudes the interview with Lita. She’s in her underwear and looks VERY good in her yellow thong. She throws them out.

DDP is the way too happy guy at this point. He thinks England is way too depressed. Sweet goodness Vince never got this guy at all.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Big Show

Make this quick. The only good thing about their match at Starrcade was the ending. It has to be better here right? Also get Page his Nirvana knockoff song. Show is in the one piece swimsuit here. Show goes straight at him and Page is in trouble. Heyman wants to know why Show doesn’t pick on someone his own size. That would be because there is no one his own size according to JR.

Ross talks about Show’s weight in stones. Heyman says at least as much as Richards and Jagger combined. The commentary has been awesome tonight. DDP goes for the leg to take him down for a change. He gets kind of a jumping fist off the top which is supposed to be a clothesline. Figure four is blocked by Show. Chokeslam is blocked into the Diamond Cutter for no cover because Page is down but eventually gets two. Chokeslam ends it soon thereafter.

Rating: N/A. Boring match that was more or less a squash. When the Diamond Cutter gets two, you know DDP is dead. This went nowhere at all for the most part and at least it was short.

Post match Page says that wasn’t a bad thing but rather a good thing because now he gets to leave England.

The fired dudes go in and Molly has no mask but is in her superhero outfit. She’s mad that they saw her without her cape. These segments suck and hard.

Shane is talking to Austin, Angle and Debra. They shouldn’t be worried about Survivor Series bur rather tonight. The table they’re at is round and you know the lines Angle is going to use. Shane is Merlin. When Angle got way into stuff he was hilarious.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

The Dudleyz have the belts here. And remember, D-Von is the weak one. This is under elimination rules. No Stacy here with the Dudleys which is a shame as she looked awesome in those camo shorts. The Hardys were on the verge of having some problems. Bubba vs. Matt starts us off. Ok so there is more or less ZERO reason for the APA to tag in to start right?

Bubba looks odd for some reason. I think it’s the lack of wrist tape. Bradshaw in now vs. Matt. The fans boo which they claim is due to Matt getting beaten down but I’m not so sure on that one. Are you sure it’s not due to the show kind of sucking? The APA beats up Jeff as the fans want tables. It should be noted that one of the six guys here ever wrestled in WCW and he’s also the one that has most recently appeared on WWE Television.

They’re just killing time here to get one of the teams, likely the APA, out. Fallaway Slam to D-Von from the middle rope gets no cover. The Hardys go to the floor for a bit leaving Farooq in trouble. They run in just in time to hit a Twist of Fate on Farrooq to end him and get us down to the predictable tag match.

D-Von gets out some tables to a huge face pop. Jeff gets a nice baseball slide to take him out as the table is driven into his face. It turns into the basic match between these two which while ok isn’t anything special. They talk about Lennox Lewis fighting D-Von or something like that. Heyman really likes talking about the Dudleys and their resume.

Now we’ll talk about Angle vs. Jericho as there is nothing that hasn’t been said about these teams already I suppose. Jeff crotches Bubba on the top and gets a rana for two. D-Von and Matt both come in with Matt naturally taking control. Poetry in Motion to Bubba and then to D-Von. The Swanton misses D-Von though and Matt walks into a bad 3D to retain.

Rating: D+. And so what? I mean seriously, who cares at this point? These teams feuded for so long and so many times that it got boring beyond belief to watch them fight again and again. I think the Dudleys beat them in a cage match at Survivor Series which was the final match between them. APA had no business being there so they were there anyway. Nothing special here at all.

Don’t try this at home. Try it away from home though.

Heyman is in Dudley glasses.

We see some stuff of Jericho accidentally hitting Rock which cost them a tag match. It’s not like this match is happening anytime soon or that they’re fighting tonight. We’re just trying to waste some time.

Vince is talking to Jericho and Rock is apparently on the other side of him. He wants them to bury the hatchet so they can beat the Alliance. They need to get along tonight. Why do they need to get along tonight? Who cares I guess, but Vince orders it so be it. They shake hands and Jericho says try not to lose another big one. Rock says he has something Jericho can take to the ring with him and drills him before a bunch of suits break it up.

Tajiri vs. William Regal

Before we get started Regal says he’s their role model. He makes fun of David Beckham and Man U. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion at this point. DANG Tajiri could throw some kicks. Regal gets into a grappling match where of course he’s going to dominate. This isn’t much more than a midcard match but at least they had been feuding recently so this makes sense. Regal gets a modified Tazmission more or less on Tajiri who comes back anyway.

Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Tajiri gets crotched on the top rope as Regal keeps control. He chops the living heck  out of Regal as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. Missile dropkick gets two. Handspring elbow hits to pop the crowd a bit. Tarantula hooks Regal and Tajiri goes up for the moonsault and crashes. Regal Stretch ends it immediately afterwards.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here with Tajiri having maybe a minute of offense total. This was more filler which they’ve been spacing apart pretty badly so far tonight. This went nowhere as did the feud due to the whole Alliance thing dying off soon after this. They were better as a comedy tag team.

Tajiri spits mist in his face post match.

Angle runs down British fans and makes fun of the name Y2J. This involves singing the Mickey Mouse Club song.

WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle

Well this should be awesome. That big old WCW belt looks great on Jericho. Angle is the US Champion apparently. It’s still the old belt design which I actually like less than the current one which isn’t typical for me. They hit the mat almost immediately with Jericho throwing punches and forearms, making this almost like an MMA fight, at least in spirit.

Spinwheel kick takes down Angle for no cover. Three Amigos hit before they have a name. Walls can’t hook on so Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send Angle to the floor. Jericho follows and chops the heck out of Angle. Back in the ring and Angle almost gets the ankle lock. Angle’s shoulder eats post. Well not really as there’s no opening there or anything but you get the concept.

Angle gets the momentum and starts busting out the suplexes. He goes for the Walls as we begin the countdown to Jericho hooking the ankle lock on him. Angle can’t get it anyway so it’s not like it really matters. We hit the chinlock as the fans are WAY behind Jericho here. How un-American they are indeed. Jericho gets a rolling cradle for two.

And then back to the chinlock as they’re kind of wasting time here. Enziguri counters the ankle lock and everyone other than the referee is down. Jericho cranks it up a bit and gets a rana for two. Yep I was right. Jericho rolls through a victory roll and grabs the ankle lock. A rope is grabbed shortly thereafter anyway so it’s not like it meant anything. Rolling Germans have Jericho in trouble.

There’s the real ankle lock but Jericho counters into the Walls. Lionsault eats knees though and it’s Angle Slam time. So much for that though as Angle gets rolled up for the pin and Jericho retains. How often do you see a clean finish between these two? I can’t think of one with about as limited thinking as possible.

Rating: B-. Nothing that special here but it was ok for the most part. These two always work well together for the most part and they had a decent match here. I still don’t like the way it sounds when they say this was for the WCW Title as that always sounded really odd. Decent match but they’ve had better.

Angle beats up Jericho after the match.

Cole asks how Rock can focus on Jericho. Rock calls him a great journalists. Thank goodness he doesn’t remember that line. And so much for that as Rock implies that Cole is gay. To be fair he says it doesn’t matter. Solid Rock promo here as always and dare I say, vintage?

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold in an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Post match Trish hits Stacy with a horrible bulldog.

We recap Rock vs. Austin which is more or less billed as a Mania rematch which isn’t true but whatever. It’s more Alliance vs. WWF stuff in short. One thing I never got: Austin says he’s leaving the WWF to find better competition. If he’s fighting WWF guys isn’t he fighting the same competition he’s always been fighting? They clip a good portion of this from the Mania package.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Not a bad main event I wouldn’t think. Austin jumps Rock as he’s posing on the ropes. You don’t interrupt the Rock’s posing! Rock chops away and hits a swinging neckbreaker before the vest comes off the champion. Rock Bottom doesn’t hit as Austin goes over the top. On the floor now and water is spit into Austin’s face.

They fight up the ramp and you can’t see a freaking thing. Ah there’s a spotlight. Much better. Rock reverses a suplex on the stage and Austin bounces off the steel. Austin wants a Piledriver but he winds up bouncing off the stage again. Back towards the ring now and it’s still mostly Rock. That is until he takes a slingshot and bounces head first off the post.

Austin flips off the crowd and almost gets caught in a rollup. It only gets two though and right back onto offense for Austin. They head to the floor even more and onto the announce table. Rock blocks another Piledriver and gets off. WHAT IS THE FREAKING DEAL WITH THE AIRHORNS? Do you British people think those are cool or something? Knock it off!

They’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe ten. Austin chokes him with the cables and then they chop it out. He drops Rock on the table again and might have hurt his knee. Back in the ring for a change and Austin lands the Thesz Press. The screw you elbow gets two as there’s a good deal of time left in this. Austin wastes time by yelling at the crowd and Rock comes back with some of Austin’s stuff, including the elbow for two.

We get a sleeper by the bald one. Doesn’t it amaze you that the rear naked choke takes like a few seconds to get a submission but a sleeper can last like a minute and the guy is fine? Naturally Rock’s arm goes up at the third drop like the hero that he is. Naturally Rock gets a sleeper on Austin because that’s just how things work. Also just how things work, his lasts like four seconds.

Austin gets a Boston Crab for no apparent reason. It’s more like a Liontamer than anything else which makes it more awesome. The look on Austin’s face is downright creepy looking. Rock gets about his 9th wind and takes over again with a belly to belly for two. And there goes the referee of course. Stunner is blocked and Austin walks into a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter which doesn’t make Austin tap but there’s no referee.

Austin puts Rock in the Sharpshooter on Rock and it’s somehow better than Rock’s. Ok scratch that it sucks. And now Rock has it on Austin until Angle runs down and pops Rock with the chair. Cue Jericho who I’ll bet is going to hit Rock with the chair. Jericho gets Angle out and Rock sees him with the chair, thinking it was him that popped him with it. And there they go.

Rock Bottom hits Austin and there’s still no referee. Angle is back in now and takes care of Rock again. Dang that referee can stay down through a lot. That didn’t last long as another spinebuster takes Austin down again. Angle breaks up the elbow with a belt shot though and a Stunner keeps the title on Austin.

Rating: B. These two have great matches time after time and this wasn’t their best but still was solid. This felt like a major match like it was supposed to be and that’s really all you can ask for at a show like this. Pretty good match and long with over twenty minutes. This was solid enough stuff but the ton of run-ins and the long ref bump kind of hurt it. Solid main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This was better than most of these shows but still nothing great. There is some solid stuff here but the problem is that it’s all been done before and been done far better than it was here. I’m not a fan of these shows at all as they never are much of anything but this was better than the majority of them. Nothing really worth seeing specifically but I’ve seen far worse shows. This was ok.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 21
Date: May 27, 1989
Location: Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

This is actually kind of a famous show if nothing else for one match. It’s the first big show after Mania 5 so Hogan is world champion once again, I believe for only the second time actually. He’s defending the title against Boss Man in a cage match that I’m sure a lot of you have seen. It’s famous for one big bump and not much else. This should be fun though as we’re in a transitional period around this time with Hogan being champion but Warrior on the rise. It’s a new beginning really so let’s get to it.

We open with a promo from Hogan inside a cage. Generic but fine. Pretty sure there’s only one cage wall there and he’s in front of a green screen.

Cue theme song.

Who would have believed that at the end of the day, Vince McMahon would win more WWF titles than Jesse? That’s just amusing. We run down what sounds like a decent card.

We get a clip of Mania where Rude won the IC Title from Warrior with the famous finish of Heenan holding the leg. Heenan says win at any cost. This is his first title? Really?

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Jim Duggan

Oh and Duggan is now King. It’s by far the least remembered of the reigns with that, including King Haku. The belt looks extra shiny here. Duggan with the crown looks hilarious. It’s Memorial Day Weekend if nothing else so there’s a point to the patriotic gimmick if nothing else. He comes out to what would become Lawler’s music. I always loved the jobbers carrying the throne to the ring.

It’s like “do your job people before I squash you.” Jesse mentions that he used to be a Navy SEAL. That’s just awesome. Duggan uses the robe as a bull cape which is kind of funny I guess. Duggan takes over early as you would expect him to. Rude gets a boot up to stop though and we go into something a bit more traditional. The tights Rude wore were completely awesome. Duggan is RIDICULOUSLY over.

We get a false finish as Duggan gets the pin but Rude’s foot is on the rope. Here’s Haku who Duggan beat for the crown. Rude makes a comeback but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle which of course doesn’t work at all. Duggan gets a normal comeback for him but a hot crowd is helping a lot. The clothesline hits and Duggan wins by countout. His music changes when he wins for some reason.

Rating: C-. Not terrible for what it was. This definitely got the crowd into things to say the least. It was a TV match and that’s all it was supposed to be. On Memorial Day, this is perfectly acceptable. Not great, but it was certainly watchable.

Jim Neidhart is with Gene. He has….RANDY SAVAGE tonight? HUH? Anvil vs. Savage? Why? According to Neidhart to get to Hogan, Savage has to go through Anvil. WHAT?

Vince thinks Anvil will win. I want some of the cocaine he’s on to say that.

Savage says he’s looking to the future and wants Hogan again. Sherri is his new manager too. That went on for about two years which is far longer than I would have thought.

Jim Neidhart vs. Randy Savage

Ok seriously, who is Savage fighting tonight? This joke has gone on long enough. Who is Savage really fighting? Nothing against Anvil as he’s fine, but dude, this is RANDY SAVAGE and it’s less than 2 months since his year long title reign ended at Wrestlemania. Why is Anvil out there for this? It just doesn’t make anything resembling sense at all.

They’re making this out to be Savage vs. Bret circa 1992. When did Anvil and Hogan become buddies? Sherri grabs the leg of course and it does nothing of note. Neidhart hooks a bearhug as I’m not even sure what I’m watching. Again, it’s not bad. It’s just odd. We get a great piece of insight from Vince: Sherri is a different human being than Liz.

You mean, they don’t just put different wigs and outfits on them and hope we don’t notice? THANK YOU OWNER OF THE STUPID COMPANY! Sweet goodness she’s freaky looking. Anvil gets a BIG kick out, likely throwing Savage high enough in the air that he could have hit the top rope. That’s borderline Yokozuna levels. Anvil gets a slingshot shoulder block which would freaking HURT.

Notice the cameras always getting shots of Sherri’s back. It’s clear Vince was running the company back then given what we know now. This is more or less ALL Anvil here. Sherri unhooks Anvil when his arms are tied up and it lets Savage reset the universe to its natural order as he takes over. Wow that was a long sentence. The elbow finishes soon after.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. I don’t think anyone was idiotic enough to think that Anvil was going to win, but still it was nice to see him get in such a long stretch of offense and have time being in control. This was a decent enough match and it got Sherri over as a threat to Savage’s opponents, which was the point here. Not bad at all.

Slick and Boss Man say they’re ready for Hogan. Slick is Jesse’s height. That’s very odd indeed. Boss Man is just pure fat here. In 90-91 he would drop about 90 pounds and become freaking lethal. Slick says there’s a surprise for Hogan.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Boss Man

This is in a cage remember. Slick says that the surprise is Zeus. He stands on the steps and slams the cage door, blocking Hogan’s entrance. Dang it I was hoping I was done with this guy. Ok here’s the concept of Zeus. Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred.

The main villain in that movie was named Tom Lister, playing the character of Zeus, a monster fighter that was a crazed wrestler. Hogan played a character that more or less was himself named Rip. At the end of the movie, Rip beats Zeus as you would expect him to. So what this would be is Zeus the character coming after the actor that played the character Rip.

In other words, a character played by an actor is coming after a character played by a character played by Terry Bollea. Now here’s the big problem: LISTER CANNOT WRESTLE. Vince of course contemplated putting him vs. Hogan in SkyDome at Mania 6 for the title. Yeah around this time WWF was in REAL financial trouble until Mania saved the freaking company. Anyway, this is Zeus’ debut.

Remember, this is a movie character going after an actor that played a character that beat his character up. Yeah it was idiotic but oddly enough few got the problem, mainly because most kids were so freaked out by Zeus, including me, that they didn’t get how stupid this was. Oh and remember Hogan hasn’t even come to the arena yet.

We get a clip of No Holds Barred, showing Zeus beating up a street fighter. That movie needs to be on DVD. It just does. Hogan comes out and can’t get in. Zeus beats Hogan down as you would expect. Remember, this would be like Christian Bale claiming to be Batman beating up Liam Neeson. Not Ra’s-as-Ghul, but Liam Neeson. Boss Man dominates early but here comes the champion as you would expect.

See here, the fans are cheering and money was coming in. BIG difference to today. He hits what would be called a spinebuster on Hogan but doesn’t have a name other than “look at that maneuver!” Boss Man gets over the top of the cage but since Boss Man can’t climb down with any kind of speed, Hogan gets there in time. We then get the mega spot of the match, which really isn’t much by today’s standards.

With Boss Man on the top of the cage and Hogan on the top rope, Hogan suplexes Boss Man to the mat. I think it’s because of the size and era that this is considered such a great bump. They’re up about 45 seconds later and everything is fine. Boss Man has handcuffs which don’t work of course. Ah never mind it’s just a chain. Both guys get rammed into the cage and they’re both down.

This time it’s just for a few seconds though. Boss Man is bleeding a bit. The usual stuff ends it as Hogan goes over the top to get to the floor. For those of you that don’t remember, Slick is more or less Pope minus wrestling. I forgot to mention that Slick runs in and there’s a mix up, causing Boss Man to get cuffed to the rope. Hogan beats Slick up afterwards.

Rating: B-. It’s a Hogan cage match. That’s all there is to it. The bump is nice, but other than that there just isn’t much here. Hogan vs. a monster was where he was at his best and this came off just fine. It’s no classic or anything, but for a TV match this was quite good.

Jesse is with the Brainbusters and Heenan who says he’s getting the tag belts tonight. The wrestlers, shockingly enough, agree. Seeing Anderson in a WWF ring is always just weird to see.

Demolition say their usual awesome stuff.

Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition

Dang that Demolition music is awesome. The red tongues were always a nice touch too. Tully and Smash start. I wonder if Darsow as Krusher Khrushchev ever fought the Horsemen. I wouldn’t think so. Arn gets the tar beaten out of him. Jesse talks about how often Demolition tags in and out. THAT is what an analyst is supposed to do. So far this has been a total squash.

In what I think was a mistake, Tully gets knocked over the top and lands on Bobby. I think that was a mistake. Ah there we are as the Busters take over for once. Tully is a master of getting people riled up. Smash is the…..whatever the heck you call Demolition, in peril here as we hit the double knockdown.

In a very unique move, Tully sneaks to the floor and pulls Axe down so Smash can’t make the tag. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. Smash throws the referee across the ring for the DQ. There would be a rematch on the next SNME.

Rating: C. Formula stuff and it worked just fine. The ending was weak though, although it set up a rematch so I can’t complain there. This wasn’t a classic or anything, but it came off pretty well. Me liking both teams likely has something to do with it though.

Savage says he wants Hogan.

Boris Zhukov vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is your run of the mill “we’ve got like 4 minutes left and no one major other than Hogan hasn’t been interviewed yet so here’s a worthless match for you” match to close the show. The splash ends this in MAYBE a minute.

Rating: N/A. The description of the match I wrote sums this up perfectly.

Hogan yells about Zeus and every word he says makes this whole angle seem all the more stupid. Vince is listed as the Executive Producer in the credits. How did we never catch onto that?

Overall Rating: B+. That’s higher than any of the matches, but this was a VERY good show. There’s nothing bad on here and everything came off really well. For a free TV show, this was freaking great. Three title matches, a better than it should have been Savage match and a squash with a cool finishers makes this great. Loved it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Since just having a wrestling match is out of the question, it’s going to bean ambulance match at Payback.  Can I go to the hospital instead of watching?

Lockdown 2005
Date: April 24, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the first in the series and has my favorite TNA match ever on it. This is a show I’ve tried to find for a long time so this is a good treat. This was a show that was really weird when you first heard about it as every match is in the cage which was unthinkable when it was first announced. There are 8 matches here and one gets less than 14 minutes so this is a wrestling packed show. The company is still in its infancy here so the angles and a lot of the guys are going to be odd. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a creepy version of Ring Around the Rosey which is supposed to be about the cage. Wouldn’t that be Rosey Around the Ring in this case? The narrator talks about what the cage would say if it could talk. Apparently it’s more or less a haunted house.

West and Tenay tell us about all the different kind of matches we’re having. Yes, we’re actually having a TAG TEAM match in a cage. SHOCKING!

We see Nash sitting in the back and having a staff infection which means he’s out tonight.

Apollo/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Candido/Lance Hoyt

Hoyt is Vance Archer. Tenay tries to tell us that all of these matches are going to be main event matches because they’re all in the cage. This isn’t a main event match anywhere in the country as Gorilla would not say I guess you would say. Apollo and Siaki are teaming together because they had a match together and are friends now or something. Sounds like a bromance to me.

Candido has been pretending to be hurt lately so no one can trust him. Or they can’t trust him because he’s a heel. That’s always a possibility. Apollo and Hoyt chop it out as the two big guys in this. Apollo gets a jumping back elbow to take him down. The fans chant shut the door for some reason. Candido is helped out of the cage. He had a broken leg and would be dead in four days due to a blood clot. He was 33.

So now it’s a handicap match with Hoyt hitting a moonsault for two. That was rather impressive actually. Siaki had a good look. I’m not sure why he never really did anything outside of this company. Siaki does the running Angle suplex on Hoyt as he’s in big trouble with the faces just picking him apart now. He misses a clothesline and kind of falls down. A TKO from Apollo sets up a top rope splash from Siaki for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was weak but at the same time it’s very hard to grade it fairly given the change they had to make maybe two minutes in. It really was a shame about Candido as he did nothing wrong and still died. I know often times we use the word tragedy loosely but this actually was as it was a pure accident. Anyway, the match isn’t very good but given what they had to work with it was ok.

Post match the Naturals, Candido’s team, comes out to yell at Hoyt who hurts them for a bit before the numbers catch up with him. I’d assume this is to fill in time due to the match likely having to be cut short. This goes on for a very long time.

Dusty is with Traci and Trinity which is a thing that was always disturbing. Apparently AMW and Team Canada got into a fight before the show started and nothing of note happens from that. We get the drawing for the first guys from both (three man) teams in Lethal Lockdown and it’s Jarrett vs. Waltman to start us off.

Dustin Rhodes talks about his match with Bobby (Robert) Roode which is about Texas vs. Canada. Yes, we get it, Texas has a lot of wrestlers and they’re all cowboys. Why are they fighting other than that? Who cares, as it’s a 2/3 Falls Prince of Darkness Death Match. The part that should shock no one is that the Prince of Darkness aspect means nothing at all. Roode was the henchman of Team Canada actually which is surprising.

Bobby Roode vs. Dustin Rhodes

That rock version of O Canada is kind of awesome. Oh ok apparently if we go to the third fall it’s a blindfold match. Why? Who care apparently as we have a gimmick! Roode gets a very fast pin. Or at least we think he did as there’s no signal from the referee, no bell, no announcement or anything like that. Thanks for letting us know that guys.

Dustin wants to do Shattered Dreams but is threatened with a DQ. He does it anyway and apparently that’s just fine. Perhaps it’s because this is a cage match? Top rope suplex to Roode which is saying a lot due to how tall Dustin is. Big powerslam gets two as it’s all Dustin at this point. Dustin gets another low blow but the bulldog is blocked and here comes Roode.

Roode does the multiple covers for two and we hit the chinlock. He shifts it into the rear naked choke. How is this really different than what Joe does where it’s lethal? It’s so weird hearing Roode being talked about as the muscle of the group. Ah apparently it’s not a choke but a camel clutch style grip. That explains a few things. Dustin counters with an electric chair and both guys are down.

Dustin sends him into the door and it pops open and knocks out the cameraman. That’s rather awesome. Set for the Final Curtain or whatever it’s called but Dustin stands around for about 45 seconds which is amazingly enough enough time for Roode to counter into his clothesline to the back of Dustin’s head which gets two because his foot is on the rope. Yes you can get out of a pin in a cage match with your foot on the rope. I give up.

Roode goes for a German off the top but he’s no Kurt Angle so Dustin rams his head into the cage and hits the bulldog to tie it up. I hate that move. And now we put on hoods for absolutely no reason at all. Is there ANY explanation for this being added in? Yep this is stupid as they stumble around trying to find each other and they’ve got nothing.

They finally back into each other so Dustin grabs a headlock but Roode shoves him off. Then they take out the referee as I look for a noose to attach to my neck. D’Amore throws in a chair and then climbs in himself. Roode doesn’t get who is there so he cracks his coach with a chair. Dustin gets the chair and cracks Roode with it for the pin. Sweet goodness this was stupid.

Rating: D-. This was stupid before the hoods and then ridiculous once they went on. What in the world was the point to that? Also we get to hear Dustin’s stupid banjo/country song twice now. Someone explain the point to this gimmick to me? Can anyone do that? I can’t find any explanation for it. Ah Russo was in charge at this point. There’s your answer.

Christopher Daniels runs down XXX and Skipper, his partner in that team. Skipper comes up to yell at him and says the time is right. That match is later of course.

Xscape Match: Matt Bentley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Shocker

I miss the HAIL SABIN thing. The idea here is you have to get rid of two guys by traditional means and then get out of the cage once it’s one on one. This isn’t for anything apparently. Shocker is a luchador. Sweet goodness they have to tag in this. Does anyone think these things through? Sabin and Dutt give us a gymnastic routine to start which gets a well rounded golf clap.

Dutt was insane to watch. He wasn’t particularly good but he was fun to watch. Tenay tries to tell us that this is the tallest cage in wrestling. They’ve never been to an OVW cage match. That this is taller than the Cell. Dutt and Shocker double team Bentley. He never was very good but he’s Shawn Michaels cousin so there you go. Dutt is bleeding from the elbow. Bentley beats him up for a bit. Thankfully the Bentley Bounce isn’t part of this match.

More gymnastics from Dutt who brings in Sabin again. This is a spotfest if I’ve ever seen one. There’s no flow or anything to it as they just move from spot to spot. Not saying it’s bad mind you, but it’s just kind of all over the place. West: the wall of the steel cage is like a wall of steel. Somehow he’s still better than Tazz. Shocker comes back in and gets a cradle on Bentley for two.

Bentley gets a reverse Tarantula on Shocker, as in his legs are wrapped around Shocker’s head and he’s grabbing Shocker’s feet while their backs are facing each other. Dutt comes in to put a chinlock on Bentley so Sabin comes in to put a Boston Crab on Dutt. Cool looking spot but it’s not like it gets us anywhere as they break it in a few seconds.

Sabin hits a BIG running powerbomb on Dutt but Shocker saves for no apparent reason. Bentley sends Dutt into the cage but Shocker cleans house and hits a corkscrew elbow to get rid of Dutt. Shocker vs. Bentley now with Shocker going up but getting hit by a Northern Lights Suplex off the top for two.

Trinity, the chick there with Bentley, comes up to help him so Traci comes out to stop her. And so much for that as she gets shoved off and hurts her ankle. Trinity goes to the top of the cage and hits a BIG moonsault off the top to take out all three guys. Traci comes in again and AGAIN gets shoved out. Sabin gets Cradle Shock on Bentley to get us down to one on one.

Ok so now it’s an escape match. They both get crotched on the top rope and we’re both down. And then they both climb at the same time and fight on top of the cage before both drop down but Shocker hits first. I’d love someone to just jump off the top and run through the door instead of climbing down like that one time. Kind of a weak ending.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here but the ending and the tagging hurt it a good deal. That moonsault from Trinity was pretty freaking awesome though and I’m surprised it’s not on more highlight reels. It’s a shame this wasn’t like, for something other than bragging rights I guess. Not bad and I’ve never gotten why Shocker just kind of left as he was pretty good.

We’re told Candido’s leg was broken and we see clips of it. Naturally no one knew what would come of this so it’s not like they were exploiting it.

We recap Hardy vs. Raven which the idea was Raven wanted to hook up with Hardy or something and Hardy said no because he wrestled for his fans (who never got him anything but three WWE Titles and his job in TNA once he left WWE). Raven didn’t like him saying no so he hit him with a garbage can. That sounds like a recipe for a tables match if I’ve ever heard one.

Jeff Hardy vs. Raven

Tables match here because it needed a gimmick clearly. Hardy doesn’t get that apparently and comes out with chairs. TNA supplied the tables I guess since there’s at least one in there when we start. Hardy has been reborn apparently. Wow that happens to him a lot. I love that hole in the cage that TNA uses as it’s a really unique look for cage matches. Raven in control here with pretty basic stuff.

Hardy has some red/pink paint on his skin so it looks like he’s covered in blood. Raven gets the DDT and puts Hardy against a table in the corner. He misses his shoulder into it though so Jeff hasn’t won yet. At least they covered that earlier on. This is getting rather boring rather quickly. Raven is bleeding and it’s pretty bad after a bit. Raven goes up for what looks like the Stroke off the top but they just pretty much jump off the top with no contact at all.

Some New York Mets are here. Twist of Fate by Hardy and now it’s table time again. He’s a rock and roll star now too apparently. Raven is put on the table and Jeff goes all the way up to the top of the cage and takes forever to get there, meaning Raven of course gets out of the way for the big bump. Trinity’s was better. We waste a bit of time with Raven taking control and then Jeff fighting back.

Hardy tries to open Raven up a bit more and then hits him in the back. And there’s a low blow to take care of that offensive streak. Something TNA didn’t get back in the day: long matches don’t mean good matches. Jeff does Raven’s drop toehold to Raven which he isn’t the best at selling. He climbs out for no apparent reason and Raven shoves the door open to crotch Jeff on it.

Apparently when Jeff gets bored he climbs out of cages. It makes as much sense as anything else I suppose. Jeff jumps off as apparently drugs make your balls invulnerable and jumps into a boot. There are pieces of at least four tables in there. Think that’s enough? Actually make that six plus two chairs. Raven sets up two double stacks of tables and then climbs up like an idiot. Jeff knocks him onto them and hits a leg drop off the top to “drive” Raven through them but the lack of room and the high amount of tables made it look like it was in slow motion.

Rating: D. Did ANYONE want to see Raven vs. Jeff in a 15 minute tables match in a cage? Have you ever seen a one fall fifteen minute tables match? Just WAY too long here with Raven being boring for the most part and Jeff just wanting to jump off high things and no sell metal pipes hitting his balls. I fail to see the point here for the most part and this just didn’t do it for me in the slightest. What reason was there for this to be a tables match? Someone explain that to me please. I’d like a reason.

We recap the tag title match which is AMW vs. Team Canada. AMW is the original great tag team in TNA and basically this feud has been going on forever because Team Canada wants the titles.

We recap the Hardy vs. Raven match a bit first because they have to clear the ring.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada

This is a strap match and Team Canada is Petey Williams and Eric Young. AMW made this a strap match earlier today so no one got to hear about it. I wonder if that was intentional. Young is just a generic heel here that was only a bit nuts but not quite. More eccentric than anything else. AMW is James Storm and Chris “Braden Walker” Harris. They were awesome and I want one of their trench coats.

AMW are cage veterans after the EPIC cage match they had with XXX which I’ll have to get to soon. Harris and Williams fight on the floor while Young tries to get out but Storm beats the tar out of him up on top. They crotch Young on top and ram his legs into the cage. A-1, the Canadian muscle dude, hits Harris with the belt so he’s stuck on the floor. He gets Storm with it too so the champions are in trouble.

With Harris outside the idiot security guard locks the cage. Does no one pay attention in this company? A-1 keeps beating up Harris on the floor which is fine apparently. Young is a daredevil apparently. He’s still annoying. The Canadians beat up Storm in the ring as we’re just waiting on Harris to make the Superman comeback and get in. Storm is bleeding.

About three fans try to get a let’s go cowboy (Storm’s nickname at the time) chant going and it’s just sad. A-1, back COVERED in acne, sends Harris into the table. Williams and Young get the American flag off the top of the cage and use it to choke Storm before the referee gets it away. Well that was pointless. Storm makes a brief comeback as Harris knocks A-1 into the railing. And so much for that as Young knocks Harris down off the cage and into the railing.

Storm just goes OFF on Young with the strap but walks into a tornado DDT from Williams for two. There’s a you f’d up chant about something but it’s not really clear what. Harris takes A-1 down again before trying to get in for like the 7th time. FINALLY he gets in and takes out Team Canada with a double clothesline that doesn’t hit Young at all but who cares?

This is an actual 2-2 match about ten minutes in. We get it to even or so before the fans chant TURKEY LEGS at something. Williams goes for a Sharpshooter as Young adds an elbow off the top which breaks up the Sharpshooter but only gets two. Young broke up Williams’ Sharpshooter if you missed that as it was a bit odd. Canadian Destroyer is broken up by a Harris spear for two.

Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) misses and A-1 slips the flag/hockey stick in through the camera hole and a shot from that to Harris gets two. When that doesn’t work A-1 slips some powder to Williams but it’s kicked back into his face. He can’t see so he low blows Young and hits the Destroyer on him. A Death Sentence to Williams ends this seconds later.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here with AMW being on defense for the vast majority of the time but eventually winning when they, the champions, were united. Also the whole cheating backfiring thing worked very well too with the evil Canadians trying one time too many to cheat and it catching up with them. AMW was awesome but they had no competition which is what caught up with them eventually.

We recap Skipper vs. Daniels. They lost a match at Turning Point (which the video package gets wrong, saying it was in 2002 when it was 2004) meaning they couldn’t team together again. This led to a fatal fourway at Destination X where Daniels turned on Skipper and pinning him to get the title, setting this up. The voiceover guy is way too upbeat.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Elix Skipper

Let’s see if Daniels can have a match that doesn’t bore me to death. I know he’s like the king of the Indies or whatever but he just bores me to death for the most part other than when he’s fighting Joe or AJ. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Both finishers are blocked early with a lot of takedowns and nice mat work, especially by Skipper who I’ve always liked a bit.

Can we do something other than a gymnastics competition? There were four attempts at leapfrogs which no one went under so they were just running and jumping. Daniels chops away but walks into a butterfly suplex to give Skipper something of an advantage. Daniels sends him into the cage to reverse that though as we’re almost five minutes in and it’s still little more than feeling out.

This works actually as they were talking about how they knew each other so well before the match so the counters and no one being able to get an extended advantage works. Skipper’s arm is hurt after going into the cage and we have some psychology coming into play. This goes on for a good while as Daniels pounds on it with basic moves for a good while.

An armdrag from the middle rope takes down Skipper again and more arm work follows. By that I mean about five minutes straight at this point. A one arm spinebuster gets Skipper some relief. The announcers are talking about Skipper’s cage walk being listed as the #1 cage match moment in TNA history. Yes apparently there’s a list of cage match moments for a company less than three years old.

Skipper hits a guillotine leg drop off the top to get two. He goes for something that looked like Orton’s backbreaker but the shoulder gives out. Best Moonsault Ever gets two so he goes all the way to the top for I’d assume another one but Skipper gets up to crotch him. He teases the cage walk again but Daniels gets down. Skipper is like screw it and jumps off the top to hit Daniels but takes out the referee too for just a bit. He goes for Sudden Death but his shoulder gives out and Angels Wings (a lifting sitout Pedigree) ends it.

Rating: B. Fun stuff here again with basically a mat based and technical match that happened to be in a cage. This of course begs the question of why was this in a cage. There was no point to having this in there as it would have been more or less the same match without it. Then again why am I looking for logic in a company like this? The match was good though with the psychology playing in throughout the whole match which is the best it’s going to get.

Dusty lets us know the next guy in the Lethal Lockdown match. There are six total so there won’t be a coin toss apparently. In third is….censored, but if you can read lips you can see he says The Outlaw.

We recap Lethal Lockdown which is WarGames light at this point. It’s only three on three here with the main feud being DDP vs. Jarrett who is world champion here. They keep censoring the word Outlaw on this which might be a DVD thing or something. We know who he is already so it’s kind of odd. Maybe a copyright thing. The other guys are Sean Waltman (X-Pac) and Nash (injured remember) with Page and Outlaw (censored) and Monty Brown. Outlaw’s name is censored again and it’s blurred out on the graphic but his face is shown. Very odd indeed.

Lethal Lockdown: Team Page vs. Team Jarrett

You can bring your own weapons and it’s five minutes to start. Waltman vs. Jarrett to start. Waltman is in street clothes and brings a trash can. I guess he brought his home with him and sold his gear for crack. Jarrett is in street clothes too. Please do not call this a bunkhouse match. He has his own trash can full of weapons too. They fight in the aisle to start.

They’re in the crowd now as the cage sits empty. That’s rather unfair to it. I bet it’s lonely. They fight in the crowd and there’s no camera so we can’t see anything. This is already making my head hurt. And now they separate for awhile as the clock for the five minutes continues to count down. On the announce table now with Jarrett getting destroyed. Dang it there’s a bullrope and cowbell. WHAT IS WRESTLING’S OBSESSION WITH THOSE STUPID THINGS???

A chair shot misses Jarrett and after three minutes we’re finally in the cage. Basic cage offense follows with Waltman in control. Bronco Buster misses and both guys are down with forty seconds left. Waltman takes him down as Kip James (not called Outlaw here) is in third. He’s on Team Jarrett and they have a two minute advantage now. What is with the street clothes here?

They spend the vast majority of these two minutes walking around with the occasional stomp coming. DDP comes in and pulls the Singapore cane out like Leonardo pulling out a sword, thereby making him awesome. Things pick up a bit but we’re just killing time here. Monty Brown comes in with DDP controlling for the most part. That’s the last heel to come in.

Brown has a bat and of course a shot to the back of Page doesn’t injure him severely. Jarrett breaks the cane over the back of Page which he still gets up from. The cameraman decides a shot of Jarrett’s legs is more important than whatever the other guys are doing. The final guy is BG James (Road Dogg, who is part of a rap stable with Konnan and R-Truth at this point).

BG hits the referee and we get the showdown between the Outlaws (censored) and it goes nowhere. Bronco Buster to Jarrett. Brown Pounces everyone but Page breaks up the pin. This is more or less just a glorified six man hardcore match. Diamond Cutter to Jarrett gets two as he makes sure to shift over so that Kip can break it up. Waltman and Brown do an awful looking sequence so then they do it again so that Waltman can get the pin.

Rating: D+. Just ok at best here with nothing of note going on. Page’s team wins and the feud more or less went nowhere after this. This was more or less absolutely nothing with too few people, nothing special in terms of violence and just dull overall. Waltman won on a victory roll of all things. A violent match won with a victory roll. Let that sink in a bit.

A bit more brawling goes on afterwards and the Outlaws stare at each other a bit.

We recap the main event. Basically Abyss had been a monster jerk and AJ stood up to him. The match is for the #1 contendership and gets Jarrett at Hard Justice. One of the earliest memories I have of TNA is this brawl they had on Impact where Abyss destroyed him.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the tar out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells it perfectly too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked freaking good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens them up too! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Overall Rating: B. If you cut off about an hour of this show (as in three of the first four matches or so) this is an awesome show. The first two matches were pretty bad, the third was decent, Hardy vs. Raven got fifteen minutes which was just ridiculous and then the rest other than maybe Lethal Lockdown was very good. The early days of this company’s PPV era were very hit or miss and this one was a hit for the most part but for the most part this worked. Fun show but VERY dragging so I’d recommend a fast forward button here.

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Clash of the Champions 10: Texas Shootout
Date: February 6, 1990
Location: Memorial Coliseum, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

We’re getting ready for the WrestleWar PPV and there’s one moment on this show that totally altered that PPV as well as arguably the next three and a half years of WCW as well as a legend’s career but we’ll get to that later. Also on this show….uh…..oh you get to see Foley at 24 years old against Mil Mascaras in a match he talks about in his book. Oh and Undertaker is on this show about 8 months before he became Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like a bad arcade game where you have what appear to be cardboard cutouts of wrestlers being shot in windows of a saloon. It’s going to be one of those shows isn’t it? Cornette gets two talk for two and a half hours so he couldn’t be happier.

Terry Funk has a live mic in Texas to do interviews at ringside. This cannot be good under any circumstances.

Gordon Solie is doing backstage interviews and has the Road Warriors here, about four months before they bailed to WWF. They don’t like the Skyscrapers.

Oliver Humperdink does the intro for Samoan Savage (Tama from the Islanders). He comes out to something like the Halloween theme. These interviews are very, and I mean EXACTLY like ones you would see on a SNME.

Steve Williams puts a dummy in an ambulance and says to the hospital while Bad to the Bone plays in the background. This is going to be a LONG night isn’t it?

Samoan Savage vs. Steve Williams

Oliver Humperdink is listed as the Big Kahuna here. Are you serious? Williams goes right at him in the corner and the brawl is on. The Samoan runs away which is probably the right thing for him to do at this point. Williams fires off right hands and slams that fat man. How did he used to be pretty slim just a few years prior to this? He finally drills a clothesline to take Williams down and get a breath of air.

Humperdink does some weak choking as Williams has been sent to the floor. There’s a house band for no apparent reason called the Tough Guys. Woman is here for no apparent reason again. That sounds like a running theme for tonight. Nitron, Woman’s usual muscle, isn’t here tonight for some reason that the announcers don’t know either.

Time for the chinlock to go on because we have to do that. Cornette makes Mexican jokes as he has been known to do once or twice a minute. Williams fights up with no real trouble but walks into a powerslam for two. That’s almost too interesting though so it’s back to the nerve hold. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Dr. Death but hitting him in the head doesn’t work for Savage. Back to the chinlock as Cornette thinks there should be a Samoan contingent to balance things out.

Williams is sent to the floor and Humperdink gets in a shot which stuns him a bit. So let me get this straight. A right from Humperdink can sent Williams reeling a bit but at the same time a straight downward shot by the Samoan has no effect? Why is Humperdink the manager again? Anyway a top rope splash misses for the Savage so Williams walks around with him in a slam for awhile. Williams gets a backslide of all things and we’re done.

Rating: C-. For a battle of power men there it was just ok. This would be Williams’ last match actually as he was supposed to beat Luger for the US Title at WrestleWar but something happened to change that and he left for Japan as a result. Not much of a match but it’s an opener with Tama as a competitor. What were you expecting?

The Tough Guys play for a bit for no apparent reason.

Terry Funk is here to talk to the Horsemen (faces at this point) who he says will be hard to stop in 1990. In this case it’s Flair (world champion, shocking I know), Arn, Ole and Sting. Yes that Sting. Ole gets in Funk’s face for talking too much. Well no one ever accused Ole of being all that smart. Flair says they’re going to make a statement through their spokesman Ole.

Ole, the great spokesman, has his back to the camera. This is about Sting apparently, because he’s fired. Ole and Arn have been brought back by Flair to get rid of Sting, who is in trouble for wanting the world title. Sting wasn’t taken out yet because Sting saved Flair. Ole offers him a chance to live if he turns down the title shot and has two hours to do that. Sting says not a chance so Ole says the same thing. Sting finally gets a chance to say something but it’s a classic Horsemen beatdown. This isn’t the big moment that I was referring to.

Mod Squad vs. Brian Pillman/Tom Zenk

The Mod Squad is a weak heel tag team made of Basher and Spike. Pillman and Spike (I think) start us off. He’s the skinnier one if nothing else. Pillman can throw a great dropkick. Off to Zenk and the arm work begins. Basher comes in and that goes about as well. Cornette and Ross really don’t seem all that interested in this match and I can’t say I blame them.

Brian beats on Basher for awhile and Zenk adds an enziguri for two. Double teaming doesn’t work on Zenk as Pillman gets a double slingshot clothesline to take both Mods down. Apparently the Midnight Express want to reelect Marian Berry. Ok then. Spike gets a face jam to Pillman to take over as Cornette makes various jokes.

We talk about Sting and Flair some more because the match is rather boring. Double teaming by the Squad as Pillman doesn’t even have the Bengal tights here. Off to a chinlock and then another one by the other Mod dude. This match is taking far too long as there hasn’t been anything of note. Cornette disputes the idea that he loves the fans as Pillman gets an elbow to Basher but can’t tag out. Crucifix gets two for Brian but Spike misses a top rope elbow, hot tag Zenk, house is cleaned, cross body ends Basher.

Rating: D. How in the world was this a ten minute match? It should have been something like three but we had to fill in time I guess. Z-Man and Pillman would win the US Tag Titles less than a week after this so there was no way they were going to lose here. Just WAY too long for what they had going on here.

Cactus Jack Manson vs. Mil Mascaras

It’s Foley before he meant anything at all. Nice heat on his introduction though. Foley BLASTED Mascaras in his book over this match so let’s see how bad it is. Cornette says Mascaras is most popular in Japan for some reason. We get to a bow and arrow almost immediately as Mascaras makes Foley look like an idiot, which to be fair is fine because Foley is a far smaller deal at this point.

Test of strength goes to Mascaras and headscissors a go-go. Cactus gets sent to the floor and falls over a chair, landing on his back. JR: “A breakfast room at a honeymoon hotel isn’t as empty as Cactus Jack’s head.” Jack hammers away and Mascaras ignores it, hooking what can only be called a Liontamer for a bit.

Here’s a great example of the no selling complaints. As you know, one of Foley’s signature moves is the elbow off the apron. He hits a backbreaker on the floor and Mascaras never actually goes all the way to the ground. Foley sets for the elbow but there’s no Mascaras, as instead he’s snuck into the ring and dropkicks Foley to the floor where he bangs his head on the concrete. That was one of his signature moves for a long time, and people wonder why he can barely move. Anyway a top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Match was weak, but I totally see Foley’s point with the no selling thing. I mean dude, shake your head a little bit after a punch at least. You’re in the midcard for a one off appearance. You’re not quite Hulk Hogan here. The backbreaker thing was pitiful too. Jack took awhile to set up the elbow which I’d guess was supposed to be the spot for the plunge, but at the same time you can’t even hit the ground? Foley isn’t the only one to complain about this, so it’s not just a personal grudge.

Missy Hyatt hypes that she’s the new co-host of the Main Event.

The Tough Guys perform and Cactus Jack beats them up. That’s a perk. He and the drummer, an AWA guy named JT Southern, get into it a bit and that went nowhere.

Norman the Lunatic, more famous as Bastian Booger, is a crazy man here. As in he was in a straightjacket most of the time. Here he wants hot dogs or something and is told it’s falls count anywhere against Kevin Sullivan.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Kevin Sullivan

Before the match we get a video of Norman at a zoo, petting pigs. In the arena he’s in a cowboy outfit and hands out valentines to the fans. This was one of those concept characters if you get the idea. Sullivan jumps him and we go to the floor almost immediately. Back at this point, companies could sponsor parts of the ring, meaning Sullivan is sent into the Roos’ post.

Norman does that seated splash of his for no cover. A middle rope splash misses though and we’re back to the floor again. Sullivan actually SLAMS Norman in an impressive and surprising spot. There goes Norman’s shirt which means we have to see something rather unpleasant. A “belly to back suplex” (looked like a Russian leg sweep) gets two. Cornette: “This Norman is so stupid that mind readers only charge him half price.”

Sullivan dominates him for a good while and there’s nothing of note. I guess they’re afraid of trying to let Sullivan work a regular match which I can’t blame them for. Back in for you guessed it, more brawling/pounding by Sullivan. Norman makes a comeback and knocks Sullivan through the ropes to the outside. Up the aisle they go and the ramps is huge. Backdrop gets two for Sullivan. Into the back and they go into the women’s restroom where sound effects are used sans video. Sullivan is knocked out of the room as Norman has a toilet seat in hand. Apparently the pin happened off camera. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was junk of course and the ending hurts it even worse. No word on why they were fighting but I’d assume it was some kind of bully thing as that has infected even the past. Better go found a charity to help fight it. How do those work anyway? Do you accept donations to pay bullies off? Norman would stick around for awhile and do nothing of note before he became a trucker for some reason.

Funk is here for his talk show segment known as Funk’s Grill with Luger as his guest. They like each other and Luger says Sting should turn down the shot because Luger would get the shot otherwise. The fans want Sting but Luger says you have the Total Package right now. This goes absolutely nowhere.

Road Warriors vs. Skyscrapers

Skyscrapers are Mean Mark (Undertaker) Callous and Dangerous Dan (Spivey) Spivey and have Teddy Long with them. Spivey beats on Hawk a bit but Hawk runs him over because he’s….uh Hawk I guess. Animal and Callous comes in. I’ll do what I can to not call him Taker but it’s not easy. He’s 6’9, has red hair and is 24 here. Animal no sells his offense but that’s typical for Animal.

Callous MOVES out there, missing a cross body of all things but it’s off to Spivey and Hawk again. Hawk charges but hits the post and the beating is on. We get what would become known as Old School to Hawk. It’s so weird to think that Taker and Foley were 8 years away from having one of the most brutal matches of all time. Taker counters a clothesline into a Fujiwara armbar which only lasts a few seconds.

Old School doesn’t work a second time and it’s off to Animal and Spivey. Everything breaks down and the Skyscrapers double team Animal for a bit until he backflips out of a double suplex. Hawk comes back in and it’s Doomsday Device for Spivey. Callous comes off the top with a chair and everything breaks down and it’s finally thrown out as Hawk takes a spike Piledriver. The Road Warriors get a big beatdown laid on them.

Rating: C-. For Taker being this young guy out there it’s very cool to see. Other than that it’s just a brawl which is ok but they’ve had it a few times already tonight which is a bit of an issue. Either way it’s not a terrible match but at the same time it got a bit annoying throughout. Eh it’s TV so I can’t complain that much.

Back from a break and they replay the Warriors getting beaten down.

Gordon Solie still can’t get an interview with Sting. He does have Brian Pillman though, who says Sting is losing his mind.

Doom say they’re going to win the tag titles.

Tag Titles: Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

This is masks vs. titles despite everyone knowing who Doom is. It’s Butch Reed and Ron Simmons, as in two of the three black wrestlers in the whole company. Sounds bad but it’s true. Reed rants for a bit before Simmons starts with Scott. It’s power vs. power here and the voice of Ron Simmons is unmistakable. Scott makes Simmons look like an idiot and it’s off to Reed (Doom #2).

Doom is sent to the floor as this is all Scott so far. Scott wants the mask already but Reed gets out just in case. The fans chant for Sting as Rick comes in. The basic idea of this match is Doom gets mad, a Steiner runs them around the ring a bit, suplex takes the Doom guy down, start over. Back off to the far bigger Simmons who pounds Scotty down a bit. Scott plays Ricky Morton for a bit as the beating is on.

People didn’t go for as many covers back in the day. Very interesting change in the times indeed. BIG spinebuster gets two for Reed but he picks him up. Scott grabs a backslide for two and a Piledriver gets the same. Sunset flip gets two on Reed but Scott can’t make the tag. There’s a Frankensteiner out of nowhere and it’s off to Rick. He manages to rip the mask off and it’s Butch Reed. Rick rolls up Reed a second later to end it.

Rating: D+. Yeah amazingly enough, this was boring. This whole show has been that way because the matches have been going far longer than they should have. The masks were pretty pointless here so it’s not like the titles were ever in any real jeopardy. Weak match in a running theme for tonight.

Apparently if Simmons doesn’t unmask he’s suspended. If his identity is supposed to be a secret, how could they suspend him? Either way he unmasks and Ross’ reaction of “It’s Ron Simmons” is almost funny it’s so anti-climactic.

We see Sting getting destroyed again.

The Horsemen are like yeah we’re awesome.

Ric Flair/Ole Anderson/Arn Anderson vs. Dragonmaster/Great Muta/Buzz Sawyer

The ones you haven’t heard of other than Muta is called the J-Tex Corporation and had been feuding with the Horsemen. They’re heel now though so this is heel vs. heel in a cage. Dragonmaster is a guy that was known as Kendo Nagasaki who you’ll hear of every once in awhile. There are more than one of him though so it might be a bit confusing.

Sawyer (that guy was NUTS) stars with Anderson. The fans are cheering for J-Tex, which would be like cheering for Vickie Guerrero today. The Horsemen hammer on Sawyer with Flair and he exchanging shots. Off to Ole as Cornette rants about Sting a lot. Dragonmaster hammers away and is cheered loudly. Muta comes in and the place pops HARD. He and Arn go at it and it’s handspring elbow time. And here’s Sting.

Sting charges the cage and the roof is blown off the place. He climbs up the side of it and hammers on Flair over the cage wall but is dragged down by security and other wrestlers. He gets up the aisle but charges again, this time not being able to get at Flair. Sting hops down as the match is more or less forgotten about. Sawyer misses a splash off the top of the cage and Sting appears to have hurt his leg. What wasn’t known at the time is that Sting had ripped some ligaments apart and wouldn’t wrestle for six months, meaning the title match was off. As for the match, everything breaks down and Arn pins Dragonmaster with a DDT.

Rating: D. Match sucked but it wasn’t the point at all. As I’d assume you figured out, Sting’s injury was the big deal here, as it completely changed the company and took all of the heat away from him because it was Luger that got the title shot and Flair held the title another six months instead of giving it to the young lion known as Sting. Either way, weak match to end a bad show.

Flair and Sting “fight” (remember Sting has one leg) in the aisle to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Well Sting vs. Flair is made, but at the same time that match fell apart completely due to Flair’s egging him on for the second time there. Anyway, not a good show in the slightest but at the same time….yeah this was terrible. There’s no other way around it. The matches went on WAY too long and at the same time they weren’t that good. Weak show to put it mildly and I’m glad it’s over.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Slammiversary 2006
Date: June 18, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the anniversary show again with the main event therefore being the King of the Mountain match. It’s Christian defending this year and since Jeff Jarrett is in it, I think you know what’s going down here. Tonight we also have the debut of the new face of TNA management in the form of Jim Cornette. Other than that there isn’t much else to talk about so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the King of the Mountain match which is almost always at least interesting. We hear from all five people in the match tonight, all of whom say that they’re going to win and that it’s their time. Jarrett thinks Sting and Christian are going to explode and he’ll be able to step in and take the title.

Team 3D vs. James Gang

This is called a Bingo Hall Brawl. There aren’t intros or anything like that as they’re fighting in the tunnel before we have time for any. This is an open challenge of some kind but the story isn’t really explained. Billy and Ray have a chair duel, resulting in BG James interfering and letting Billy crack Ray with the chair for two. D-Von makes the save and the Dudleys hit the reverse neckbreaker for two.

They brawl into the crowd and over into the LAX area which causes LAX to beat up both teams for some reason. Ray sets up a piece of barricade across a pair of chairs at ringside. BG dives off the steps and over the rail to take out D-Von but Ray blasts him in the head for his efforts. They all go into the crowd and Billy blasts both Dudleys with a trashcan lid. Ray is back at ringside and throws in a trashcan full of weapons.

Everyone is in the ring now and Ray finds….a bra? He chokes Kip (Billy) with it before pulling out the cheese grater. That goes over Kip’s head and we’ve got blood. D-Von and BG hit each other with trashcans and everyone goes down. Team 3D loads up What’s Up but BG gets up a trashcan lid to block the head. Billy hits a Fameasser to Ray onto a trashcan for two.

The fans think this awesome and while that might be a stretch, it’s certainly not that bad. Billy goes for some punches in the corner but he gets caught in a Doomsday Device for two as BG makes the save. Now the fans want tables which of course get loaded up. The fans want fire too but that’s a bit too much to ask apparently. Instead they have to settle for a 3D for Kip through the table for the pin.

Rating: C+. Solid opener here as the fans were way into the violence here, which is what the point of an opener is. The fans think it was awesome and again I think that’s too much of a stretch, but the match was certainly good for what it was supposed to be. Naturally it was because of something WWE was doing at the time (restarting ECW) but that goes with the territory.

Post match Ray rips the WWE, saying that’s how it’s done.

We run down the rest of the card which is something I’ve never gotten.

Jeff Jarrett talks about overcoming the eyes time after time in his life and how that’s what he’s going to do tonight as well, just like Joe Montana or Reggie Jackson or Michael Jordan. Jarrett lists off everyone else in the match and talks about how he’s going to overcome them as well. Larry Z pops up and says Jarrett won’t like who the new face of TNA management is going to be.

We recap Rhyno vs. the Canadians. This is fallout from Abyss beating Rhyno because of the Canadians. Rhyno challenges Bobby Roode and any member of Team Canada that he chose. Naturally he picked Coach D’Amore. For some reason this gets the music video treatment.

Scott D’Amore/Bobby Roode vs. Rhyno

D’Amore runs his mouth about being better than Rhyno pre-match. He tells Roode to stand back and let D’Amore do all of the work here. Uh….k? Here’s Rhyno and D’Amore runs up the other ramp which is funny for some reason. Roode runs as well so we can stall before we start. D’Amore is already blown up after running that far so Roode has to start. The Canadians have to tag here.

Rhyno chases Roode to the floor but gets distracted by D’Amore, allowing Roode to clothesline him in the back of the head to take over. Back in and D’Amore does jumping jacks. Rhyno gets up but Roode hits him again before Rhyno can kill the Coach. Off to Roode who rams him into the buckle for two. D’Amore gets in some more cheap shots but almost gets caught in a piledriver. Roode makes I think the third save in five minutes and comes in legally.

Scratch that as the Coach comes back in to drop a leg. This has been pretty boring so far and I don’t see it getting any better by the end of the match. Roode comes in again to continue the wide array of stomping we’ve got going on. Rhyno snaps off a belly to belly but gets put right back down for more stomping. D’Amore takes off his shirt and goes up for the moonsault but Rhyno moves. Roode comes off the top but jumps into a punch. D’Amore hits Rhyno with the hockey stick but for some reason he tries to put him in a Death Valley Driver. A spinebuster and the Gore pin D’Amore.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Nothing happened here and the offense by the Canadians was terribly uninteresting. The Gore to the fat guy (who wasn’t that fat really) was kind of cool to see but other than that, there was nothing at all to see here. Rhyno was in a limbo at this point and would be that way for a few more months.

Samoa Joe isn’t worried about Scott Steiner tonight.

Senshi vs. Shark Boy vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Jay Lethal

Elimination rules and the winner gets a title match this week on Impact. In what is probably a good thing, people have to tag here so there are only two people in the ring at once. Shark Boy and Petey get us going with Sharky grabbing the arm to start. Petey escapes and tries the Tree of Woe O Canada deal but Shark Boy bites his way out of it. They head out to the floor where nothing happens so Shark Boy tags in Lethal. This is before he’s Black Machismo so he’s just a 20 year old guy who is talented.

Jay works on the back and things speed up a bit. Petey hits a knee to the ribs and dropkicks the knee out. Off to Senshi who chops away, only to get chopped right back. A dropkick gets one for Lethal. Senshi comes back with the kicks before tagging in Shelley to a good reaction. He hooks a necktie choke and bends Lethal over the his knees. Lethal backflips out of it but Shelley backflips out of that and hits a kind of Backstabber to put Jay back down.

Jay gets in a low dropkick and it’s off to Dutt to start the flips. A standing swanton followed by a standing moonsault gets two. Dutt goes up top, only to get crotched by Shelley, who follows that up by dragging the crotch along the top rope for some rope burns. Alex stays on Dutt but taunts Sharky. This draws everyone in and it’s a triple suplex in a fairly cool looking spot. We get down to Dutt vs. Shark Boy with the masked man hitting a slingshot splash for two.

The Dead Sea drop is countered so he hits a regular neckbreaker instead. Shark Boy tries a top rope elbow but crashes, allowing Dutt to hit a standing shooting star to eliminate Shark Boy. Shelley vs. Dutt now and it’s a loud enziguri to Dutt. Dutt no sells that and hits a neckbreaker to put Shelley down. Dutt goes up but gets launched onto the middle rope, where Lethal tags himself in.

Lethal comes in with a springboard dropkick to Alex but Shelley comes back very quickly. A brainbuster looks to set up a swanton bomb but Jay avoids it and eliminates Shelley with a dragon suplex. Everyone comes in now and Senshi is sent to the floor. Petey hits a slingshot rana to the outside so Lethal dives onto the Canadian. Dutt hits a huge moonsault press onto all three to put all four down.

It’s Lethal vs. Petey in the ring with Jay kicking Petey’s head off. Petey shrugs that off and kills Lethal with the Destroyer to get us down to three. Dutt comes back in as it’s him, Senshi and Petey to go. Senshi and Williams team up on Dutt for a bit but Williams accidentally drills the bald guy in the face. An enziguri gets two for Dutt on Williams as Petey is in trouble. Senshi comes in and clotheslines Williams down because he’s not a nice guy.

Senshi goes up but Petey stops him, starting a fight on the top. Williams tries the Destroyer off the top but Senshi hangs on. Dutt takes Williams down and the Warrior’s Way gets us down to Senshi vs. Dutt. Both guys go up again and Dutt hits a rana to take Senshi down. A low dropkick gets two as does a floatover DDT. Senshi takes him down and hits a standing Warrior’s Way (double stomp) for two. Dutt trips him down and goes up top but his 450 hits knees. A HUGE running dropkick puts Dutt down and Senshi puts him in the Tree of Woe. The Warrior’s Way from that position is more than enough for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual mindless X-Division match and that’s fine. This ate up almost half an hour and it was certainly entertaining. Senshi was the new hot thing in the division so putting him over like this was certainly the right idea. There isn’t much to say here as this was exactly what you would expect from this kind of a match, but it was pretty good.

Shelley is with Nash and apologizes for the loss, but he thinks there were knives and guns involved. Nash isn’t worried about his X-Division match tonight with Sabin. Today is Father’s Day and he talks some trash about Sabin’s papa.

We recap Nash vs. Sabin which is part of the Paparazzi Productions feud, which I still don’t think anyone involved could actually explain to you. Nash talked about how he was going to take over the X-Division, making Sabin stand up for its defense. This feud didn’t make a ton of sense but it was pretty funny.

Kevin Nash vs. Chris Sabin

Nash hits a hard knee to the ribs and Sabin goes flying. A pair of elbows miss and Sabin goes for the knees. So this is your basic small guy vs. giant match isn’t it? Sabin comes back with some fast strikes and Nash bails to the floor. He calls out Shelley for backup and we continue the stalling. Nash takes over again and pounds Sabin down into the corner, allowing Shelley to take the turnbuckle off. Sabin goes up for a middle rope dropkick, getting two.

He tries the Cradle Shock and you can join me in rolling your eyes if you like. That injures Sabin’s back so Nash bends Chris over his knee. The Jackknife is countered into a seated senton for two. Sabin loads up Cradle Shock again but this time Shelley grabs Nash’s foot to break it up. That ticks Sabin off so he dives onto Shelley for good guy revenge. Back in and a dropkick gets two on the big guy as does a guillotine legdrop. After another distraction by Shelley, Nash gets up, hits the big boot and Jackknifes Sabin for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another dull match that didn’t really accomplish anything. Sabin was more of an annoyance to Nash rather than a credible opponent, which doesn’t help the division at all. That being said, it lets Nash brag some more which is the right idea at the end of the day. I still do wish the story made any kind of sense though.

AMW says they’re not worried about Daniels and Styles tonight. They laugh off the notion that they’re disrespecting the titles because they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to the titles. Storm says sorry about your luck.

We recap the tag title match. Daniels and Styles have had the titles won time after time but AMW cheated to win the title each time. Tonight it’s the last chance and the challengers say they have a way to keep Gail out of things.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. America’s Most Wanted

AMW has the titles of course. Gail is looking great in all white tonight. Storm hides something behind the steps before the match starts. Styles and Storm start us off, which is a potential PPV main event today. Storm takes him down with a shoulder block so Styles starts jumping around to take over. There’s the dropdown dropkick and Storm is in trouble. The challengers start tagging in and out quickly as they work over Storm’s arm.

It’s off to Harris vs. Daniels for a battle of arm control. Daniels gets him down and steps on the head of Harris just to be evil, although in a friendly way of course. Storm comes in and we get some homosexually suggestive positions as a result. AMW gets sent to the floor and Styles hits a huge flip dive over the top to take them both down. Daniels brings Storm back in for a slingshot elbow drop for a delayed two.

Back to Styles and the perfect double teaming begins. Styles slides through Harris’ legs to ram his face into the apron. Styles goes back in to face the legal Storm but everything breaks down on the floor. Gail gets involved out there and AMW takes over again. AJ tries to use the barricade as a launch pad but Storm takes the legs out and sends AJ’s chest into the steel.

Back in and it’s Storm vs. Styles before a quick tag brings Harris back in. With Harris doing nothing he brings Storm back in for some kicks to the head for two. Back to the Wildcat who chokes away. I’m starting to get why Storm was the successful one after the team broke up. AJ gets spun around and almost makes a tag out of it, only to get caught in a spinning mat slam by Storm.

Styles counters the reverse tornado DDT and hits the Pele to put both guys down. There’s the double tag and Daniels speeds things up. The slingshot moonsault gets two on Harris as Storm messes up his save. A Blue Thunder Bomb puts Harris down but Gail makes the save. Sirelda, a Chyna wannabe, makes her debut and lays out Gail.

Back to the match, AMW tries a double team move off the top but AJ makes the save, allowing Daniels to hook a victory roll for two. Storm throws in a chair for Harris to blast Daniels to two. Hot tag brings in AJ with the springboard forearm followed by a pumphandle gutbuster. Spinal Tap misses and Harris blasts AJ in the face with the brass knuckles.

Daniels makes the save and AJ hits a slingshot splash for two. Back to Daniels but Angel’s Wings is broken up. The Last Call is blocked by a low blow and Angel’s Wings hits the second time but Harris elbows the referee. Storm brings in the beer bottle but it hits Harris in the head. A frog splash from AJ followed by the BME gives the Dream Team the titles.

Rating: B-. Another good match here and it would start a pretty solid reign for the new champions. AMW would slowly slip into a funk and be broken up by the end of the year. AJ and Daniels were a solid team though and they had some awesome matches against LAX, which was the whole idea of putting them together in the first place.

Sting says he’s been around for awhile and he knows how to multitask. If he has the chance to get the title, he’ll take it but more importantly, he wants to keep the title away from Jarrett.

Tenay is in the ring and we get a video of the first four years of TNA. Tenay brings out the new face of TNA management: Jim Cornette. Cornette praises TNA and says how great the tag title match was. He’s here for Panda Energy and to protect their investment and won’t back down. Somehow that took almost ten minutes.

Scott Steiner isn’t worried about Joe.

We recap Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner. This isn’t the time with the machete either. Joe is undefeated here and Steiner wants to break the “half breed’s” streak. Joe debuted a year ago at Slammiversary and he’ll be undefeated for a year after tonight. This is the Joe that had an attitude and a chip on his shoulder and you knew he was going to run over anyone that he faced.

Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is the X Champion here if that means anything. Steiner grabs the arm to start and easily flips Joe over. They go to the mat but Joe pulls guard (I’ve been watching some MMA lately) and Steiner lets him up. Steiner hiptosses him over and poses so Joe spits in his face. Joe gets all fired up and lays in the chops and kicks to take over. Scott snaps off a release belly to belly and takes over again.

Joe takes him down into the corner and we get the Facewash. Steiner thinks he can hide on the floor but the suicide elbow sends him into the barricade. Back in and Steiner clotheslines him down and we get the push-up elbow. Another belly to belly puts Joe down, followed by a powerbomb but Joe grabs a triangle choke. He can’t keep it on all the way though due to the suplex and powerbomb hurting his neck.

Joe snaps off right hands in the corner but charges into a release Rock Bottom, which is one of Joe’s moves. They go to the floor and up towards the stage with Steiner picking up a chair. Naturally that winds up going upside his own head but Steiner shrugs it off and puts Joe against the post and cracks his head with the chair. The referee says they have a ten count to get in for some reason. Steiner cracks him with the chair again and gets nine.

Back in and Joe fires off the palm strikes to take over. An atomic drop sets up the running big boot followed by the senton backsplash for no cover. Now Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom. A slam attempt by Steiner is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Steiner comes back with some clotheslines but gets caught in the Clutch. Steiner fights up and breaks the hold then does it again, the second time with a low blow. A half nelson suplex puts Joe down. The Recliner is countered into an electric chair position and Steiner charges into a powerslam for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty good power match as Joe gets another win over a big enough name. That’s all you need to do at times and it was another good building block for him. He wouldn’t really do anything for way too long which is where they screwed up with him, but it was TNA so they weren’t going to be considered geniuses back then.

Christian, the world champion, says that he’ll be the first champion to retain in the King of the Mountain match. If he had a dime for every time someone said he would lose, he’d have at least 51 dimes. The NWA World Title is like a drug and tonight he’s going to keep it from Jarrett.

We recap the world title match, which is really just based on qualifying matches.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting vs. Abyss

King of the Mountain, which has some complicated rules. It’s a reverse ladder match, meaning you have to hang the title above the ring to win it. However to be eligible to do that, you have to gain a fall over someone else. If you pin or submit someone, they go to the penalty box for two minutes. After the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Big brawl to start with only Truth and Jarrett left in the ring. Christian gets back in and dances with Truth for some reason, getting himself punched in the face for his efforts. It’s Christian vs. Jarrett in the ring at the moment but they quickly go to the floor with the Canadian diving onto Jeff. The other three go into the ring and Abyss’ double chokeslam attempt is broken up.

Truth knocks Abyss to the floor and hits a huge dive to take everyone down. Sting goes tot he top of the penalty box and dives on all of them because he’s just that awesome. Sting vs. Jarrett in the ring now and Jarrett gets hit with the splash, followed by a missile dropkick from Truth, who gets the pin. Sting stood back and let him get the pin. Truth is now eligible and Jarrett is in the box for two minutes.

There are two tables set up next to the box. Truth tries to bring in a ladder but Christian launches it into his face for a two count. Abyss gets into the ring and sets for a gorilla press on Christian but Cage slips down the back and rolls Abyss up to become eligible as well. Jarrett gets out about two seconds after Abyss goes in so we’ve got four active people now with Christian and Truth both eligible.

Truth gets slammed by Sting and Jarrett crushes Christian with the ladder on the floor. Something that might have been the Death Drop on Truth gets two and Abyss is freed. He throws Christian into the barricade and now there are four tables in a 2×2 stack on the floor. Everyone but Christian is in the ring now with the good guys taking over. Sting and Abyss knock each other to the floor and Jarrett Strokes Truth off the apron into the barricade for the pin to become eligible.

The four people left fight into the crowd and Sting cracks Abyss with a chair to the head and then does it again. Christian tries to throw Jeff over the end of the balcony but Jeff fights back to prevent death. Sting throws Abyss into a wall as Christian and Jeff are back at ringside. Abyss throws Sting into the same wall as earlier and Truth is out of the box. There’s no one near him so…let’s look at the crowd.

Killings grabs the ladder and goes up but he takes forever but Abyss makes the save. Everyone is in the ring now and Jarrett/Abyss beat on everyone else with a ladder. Truth gets launched to the floor but Sting and Christian dropkick the ladder into the evil ones. Christian crushes Jarrett between the ladder but Abyss makes the save, sending both guys out to the floor in the process.

Truth goes up again but Abyss shoves him off again. The ladder swings back and falls on Hebner so there’s no referee. Jarrett goes for the title but Abyss objects and hits the Black Hole Slam. A second referee comes out to count the pin, meaning only Sting isn’t eligible. In a TERRIBLY contrived spot, Abyss sets the ladder next to the ropes, only for Sting to shove him through the four tables.

Christian and Sting stare each other down and they slug it out. A Stinger Splash hits and he puts on the Scorpion but Jarrett comes out of the box early. He hits Sting with the belt and loads up the guitar shot, only for Christian to steal the guitar. The Death Drop puts Jarrett down and he puts the Scorpion on Jarrett, telling Sting to go up. Larry Z hits Christian low and gets drilled by Sting.

Another Death Drop puts Jarrett back down but there’s no referee to count. Sting does the Austin thing and slaps the mat three times with Hebner’s hand. Sting goes up but Christian stops him. EARL HEBNER shoves the ladder over as Jarrett goes up and hangs the belt (he never went into the box) to win in a Montreal angle. Larry even gets Earl out of there to complete the stupidity.

Rating: B. Other than the STUPID ending, I liked it. Montreal is easily the most controversial moment in wrestling history and is probably the most famous ending to a show ever. I personally hate it because we’re nearly FIFTEEN YEARS LATER and I still have to sit through reenactments of it. The match was pretty fun, but Jarrett winning was just a way to set up Sting vs. Jarrett again.

Post match another referee steals the belt from Jarrett and gives it to Cornette to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show worked for the most part, although there were some weak matches in there as well. There’s more good than bad though which is all that matters at the end of the day. This was a hit or miss time for TNA but you could see the great elements they could have in there with guys like AJ and Daniels and Joe, but that usually goes without saying. Good show here though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Final Resolution 2006
Date: January 15, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is another of those shows where not a ton happens but it’s supposed to be a big deal. Sting is back tonight and it’s in the form of a tag match. This didn’t work when Rock came back at Survivor Series and it’s not likely to work for me here. Other than that there isn’t much here because the main event guys are all in the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Sting is coming. Jarrett and Brown say it’s 2006 so it doesn’t mean as much as it used to. There had been signs that he was coming back and he finally did at the beginning of the year. The main event is Sting/Christian vs. Jarrett/Brown.

Alex Shelley/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

Recipe for this match: take six fast paced guys and give them ten minutes to pop the crowd. Sabin and Shelley get things going. Chris is freshly blonde here and things speed up to start. Sabin takes him to the mat and hits a pair of kicks to the back. Dutt comes in and Sabin powerbombs him down onto Alex for two. Shelley bites Dutt’s thumb to escape and it’s off to Strong.

I’ve always been a fan of Strong but the more I see of him the less interesting he comes off as. That’s saying a lot as he never was anything of note in the first place, but there’s just NOTHING there. Dutt spins around a lot and it’s off to Bentley to work on the arm. Traci is looking very bouncy tonight which is never a bad thing. Aries comes in and gets suplexed right down for two.

Dutt tries his rope walk but Aries crotches him as the heels take over. The heels hit a sick triple team top rope double stomp (only Shelley stomped) on Dutt as Dave Hebner is here watching things. Aries comes in and hits a springboard knee to the back for two. Dutt is sent to the floor as Jerry Lynn is also here watching. He’s an agent at this point but he inspired a lot of these guys.

Shelley comes in and hooks a Rings of Saturn with a leg trap. That’s not normal human bending by Dutt. Back to Strong who slugs Dutt down but Sonjay hooks a tornado DDT for the tag to Sabin. A standing rana takes down the freshly tagged in Shelley. We go to the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits a pair of dropkicks. Sabin takes down all three guys at once but Shelley escapes Cradle Shock.

Bentley drops a top rope elbow on Alex as everything breaks down. Strong hits an Irish Curse on Bentley but Sonjay takes him down. Aries breaks up the Hindu Press but he goes to the floor where Sabin dives onto him. Strong breaks up Bentley’s superkick and Traci gets on the apron. Bentley superkicks Strong down but it allows Shelley to roll Matt up for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t their best match but it was fine with the dives and such. There was nothing of note here though as we had seen most of this stuff before. All six guys were moving well out there and the dives were good, but the ending was pretty weak with no big move or spot for it. Still though, nothing wrong with this and it was fine for what they were going for.

We recap the split of 4 Live Kru and the fallout after that. Konnan is the one that went insane because of Kip James having to force his way in because Kip has nothing to do without BG James. It’s almost like he’s a guy that got over in a tag team but had no ability to get over on his own. Konnan beat up BG’s dad because he’s a bit nuts.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. James Gang

It’s Elix Skipper/David Young and this is the return match for the James Gang. BG and Skipper start things off. Skipper shoves him down and it’s a very slow start. Skipper suplexes BG over and works on the arm for a second. BG comes back with the dancing punches and shaking knee drop for two. David and Kip come in for a few collisions that go nowhere.

The Diamonds try some double teaming but get caught in a double Japanese armdrag by Kip. They get sent to the floor and the Gang beats on them on the floor. The fans chant for the Outlaws but BG walks into a spinebuster from Young for no cover. There’s a reason the guy lost like 86 matches in a row. Skipper pounds on BG for a bit before it’s back to Young who covers, only to have Kip distract the referee. David misses a moonsault and it’s hot tag to Kip. Skipper clotheslines him down and everything breaks down. Young breaks up the pumphandle slam but Kip hits the cobra clutch slam for the pin on Elix.

Rating: D. You know there’s a running theme with these New Age Outlaws matches: they’re not that good. These guys were never known for their in ring work and it’s pretty clear why. The matches just aren’t any good with the action being generic the whole way through. There was nothing to this and it was a horrible return for the James Gang or whatever they’re called this month.

Daniels says Joe hasn’t gotten to him yet and tonight it’s about what they both believe in. Joe believes no one in the X-Division can stand up to him. Daniels believes there’s a big difference between unbeatable and unbeaten.

AJ Styles vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi

This is a match for the sake of a match. Tanahashi is basically the superman of NJPW at the moment (2012) and he’s a rising star at this point (2006). AJ is Mr. TNA for 2005. Remember that as it’ll come into play later. Feeling out process to start as they head to the mat. That goes nowhere so the fans chant for both guys. AJ gets armdragged down as Tenay talks about the history of Japanese guys in America.

They trade armdrags and Tanahashi takes over with an armbar. AJ is like screw that and dropkicks him to the floor. He sets for a dive but Tanahashi moves. AJ catches himself on the apron and we stop for some staring. Back in and Styles drops a knee for two. Tanahashi hits a release German for the same. Off to an abdominal stretch so Tenay can list off Tanahashi’s wins so we can have a reason to think something of him.

Styles gets caught in a sleeper and then its dragon cousin. A dragon sleeper swing gets two. That looked awesome. A middle rope elbow misses and Styles hits an enziguri to put both guys down. Tanahashi escapes a brainbuster but for some reason he puts AJ on the apron. There’s the springboard forearm for two. Hiroshi gets a knee up in the corner and hits a full nelson slam for two.

AJ misses a spin kick and Tanahashi takes him down with an enziguri. Tanahashi tries a belly to back superplex but AJ counters into a crossbody while in mid-air. Shannon Moore runs in with AJ’s plaque but it hits Tanahashi by mistake. AJ Pele’s him down and hits the Styles Clash on Tanahashi for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending holds it down a lot. Moore was doing his punk thing at this point and they put him with Styles for a few weeks until everyone realized that no one cared about Shannon Moore. The match was going really well as Tanahashi really is good, but again there’s no story to the match so it’s hard to care about it at all.

Moore steals the plaque again.

We recap Raven vs. Larry Z which went on forever. Raven won the world title but then he got screwed out of the title at a house show in Canada. Larry refused to grant him a rematch so Larry kept trying to make Raven retire. Raven has a mystery opponent tonight.

Raven says that Larry is an idiot and says he wants the title back. Someone is getting hurt tonight and Larry better pray that it’s Raven.

Sean Waltman vs. Raven

This is Raven’s Rules and if Raven loses he’s fired, but if he wins he gets a title match. Raven shoves his shopping cart into Waltman’s ribs and chases after Larry. They head into the ring and Waltman gets in a kendo stick shot as Larry watches from the floor. They hit each other with trashcan parts at the same time to put both guys down. Raven is busted open but goes after Larry again. Larry’s security holds Bird Boy back so Waltman can dive on him to take over again.

Sean rams the cart into Raven a few times and they go up the ramp. Raven grabs a trashcan lid to blast Waltman in the head to take over. Waltman gets put in the shopping cart and shoved off the stage in a big crash. Back to ringside and Raven pulls out a table. There’s a ladder in there too but the referee goes down. Raven hits the DDT but there’s no referee to count the pin. Larry comes in for a very slow two.

Waltman gets a belt from somewhere and pops Raven with it to take over. Bronco Buster on the ladder misses and Raven gets two. Raven sets up the table and the ladder for a DDT off the ladder. Well at least that’s what he was planning but Larry grabs his foot. Pac hits an X-Factor off the ladder through the table for the pin. Raven had his foot on the rope but Larry counted anyway despite seeing it.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here but it had some fun brawling spots. The ending looked good and it got Raven off of TV, which I believe was due to a legit medical condition he had. The shopping cart stuff was good and Raven sold like a madman as usual, so I can’t complain much here. Just like the six man though, there’s nothing new here which is what holds it back.

Larry gloats post match. Raven leaves very sadly.

Ron Killings says he has two of the fastest wins ever over Bobby Roode and he’s going to do it again tonight. Konnan comes up and wants to know why Killings won’t call him back. Killings isn’t happy with him but Konnan says think about it.

Raven leaves the building and Larry gives him his bag. Jackie Gayda comes up and SWEET GOODNESS those things are huge. She implies Larry screwed her over too but won’t say over what.

Bobby Roode vs. Ron Killings

Killings beat Roode twice in about 40 seconds so Roode jumped him and won the third match. This is the fourth in the series. Truth grabs a very fast rollup for two which scares Roode to death. He tries it again and gets another two so Roode heads to the floor. Back in and Roode hooks a hammerlock which is quickly broken up. Roode bridges into a backslide for one followed by a pinfall reversal sequence which results in a standoff.

Roode goes to the floor again so Truth dives on him to speed things up a bit. Truth goes after D’Amore and gets rammed into the post for his troubles. Back into the ring and there’s an abdominal stretch by the Canadian. D’Amore does what any good manager would do and offers a hockey stick to help with the hold. The hold is broken so Killings grabs another rollup for two. Roode hits a running knee lift and then a reverse bearhug on the mat. Killings escapes and hits a top rope missile dropkick to put both guys down.

Truth comes back again with his dancing punches and a spinning forearm for two. The splits into the side kick gets another two. Roode breaks up a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for two. Killings may have a bad arm. Konnan comes out for no apparent reason and the distraction lets Roode hit the Northern Lariat for the pin.

Rating: D+. When your whole match is based around the idea that one of the guys might get a rollup for a pin and that’s the majority of his offense, you’re going to have to pull off something special to have a good match. This didn’t do that at all really and it felt like something that belonged on Impact. That was one of the major issues with TNA back in the day: they weren’t quite ready to have full three hour PPVs due to only having an hour a week of TV, so a lot of the matches on the PPVs didn’t have a ton of story to them, such as this one.

Konnan (in a Boston Bruins jersey for some reason) says to listen to him instead of the people. Cue BG James but Homicide runs in to help Konnan beat him down. Killings walks away. Kip comes out to clear the ring before he can do their hair.

Mitchell says Sting arriving means that the war begins tonight. Rhyno will be going into battle with Abyss but he’s too distracted to beat the monster. There was something going on with Rhyno’s daughter at this point but it isn’t really made clear here.

We recap Rhyno vs. Abyss. Basically Rhyno was feuding with Team Canada when D’Amore made a deal with Mitchell for Abyss’ protection. I’d assume it was in exchange for money but it was never specifically said.

Rhyno vs. Abyss

Rhyno goes right after him on the floor and the fight starts fast. They head inside, only for Abyss to get clotheslined back to the floor. Rhyno slingshots out onto Abyss but Abyss shrugs it off and pounds him down. Abyss hits him with a chair a few times and wedges the chair in the ropes back inside. To my great shock, Abyss doesn’t wind up going into it, thus violating a wrestling law. A quick neck crank gets Abyss nowhere but a big boot gets him two. So the big boot is better than a neck crank. Got it.

Back to the crank as the match slows WAY down. Rhyno fights out of it and hits a bad TKO to escape. A few chair shots to the head stagger Abyss and another one puts him down. Mitchell hooks the leg to avoid the Gore and Abyss clocks Rhyno with the chain for two. Black Hole Slam is countered into a spinebuster for two. Rhyno tries the Rhyno Driver (middle rope piledriver) but Mitchell interferes again. A chokeslam is broken up but the Black Hole Slam onto the chair gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here as this felt like it was about five minutes instead of the nearly ten that it got. This wasn’t a No DQ match or anything like that, but for some reason the referee didn’t seem to mind. Rhyno had absolutely nothing to do after he got out of the title picture so let’s just let him do hardcore stuff I guess.

Shane talks about how the Dudleys went through the fires of various companies, in case you forgot they were there. Bubba lists off various teams that are great, all of whom have held the NWA tag titles I believe. D-Von says don’t screw with us.

We recap AMW vs. Team 3D. In short, the Dudleys have held all tag titles but the NWA versions, so they’re here to get them. AMW gave Team 3D a huge beatdown a few weeks ago so this is also about revenge.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Team 3D

We get big match intros and we’re ready to go. D-Von and Storm get things going in what would be a very different match today. Storm takes him down to the mat with a headlock but gets hiptossed and dropkicked down. Harris jumps D-Von from behind and the champs take over. Scratch that as D-Von hits a double clothesline to take over again. Off to Ray as things speed up. One thing you can never say about Ray is that he’s dull. The guy knows how to keep people fired up.

Harris clotheslines Ray down for two and it’s a standoff. They go to the corner and Ray fires off his chops. The middle rope backsplash misses (duh) and it’s back to Storm. Ray is like screw that and cleans house before bringing D-Von back in. A spinebuster gets two on Storm, and What’s Up Cowboy? The Dudleys go for a table because disqualifications mean jack in this company, but AMW dropkicks it into their faces.

Harris takes D-Von down with some tape to the throat and it’s off to Storm for a chinlock. Back to Harris but he gets sent into the post shoulder first. Hot tag brings in Ray and house is cleaned. Side slam gets two on Harris and heel miscommunication lets Ray hit a DDT for two on Wildcat. Everything breaks down and AMW hits a modified Hart Attack for two o Ray. They loads up the Death Sentence but D-Von makes the save.

Ray returns the favor by breaking up a superplex and the Doomsday Device gets two as well. Harris makes the save and gets two on Ray off a big boot. Storm grabs a chair but accidentally clocks Harris into the reverse 3D for two. Bubba shoves Storm off the top through a table and a rollup gets a VERY close two on Harris. Gail hands (not slips, hands while in the ring) Harris powder but Ray knocks it into the referee’s eyes. 3D gets the pin and the titles, but remember that the referee is blind.

Rating: B. This was getting good at the end, but that powder looks like Instant Dusty to me. TNA did a good job at pushing its tag teams at this point and making them seem to be like something that actually mattered. This was a good example of that as the fans were wanting to see the title change here, and that’s what they got.

Oh of course it isn’t, as the Canadians come in, beat up the Dudleys and put Harris on top of Ray as the referee gets his vision back, calling the win for AMW. I’m sure ALL FOUR CANADIANS DESTROYING THE DUDLEYS didn’t shake the ring or anything at all either right? Dusty Finish as you likely saw coming.

Jarrett and Brown say that they’ll win tonight because Christian and Sting both think they’re going to be the savior of TNA. Brown says the time is up on Sting and he has to come to the Serengeti. Brown was way more engaging here.

We recap Daniels vs. Joe. Joe came in and took over the X-Division and destroyed Daniels, badly injuring him. Tonight Daniels wants respect, revenge and the title. See how easy it can be?

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

Joe is champion if that doesn’t come through some how. Daniels has to use speed here and Joe misses a charge. He flies around as fast as he can and takes Joe down with a pair of ranas. A dropkick misses though and Joe gets him in the corner. Daniels tries a side roll but Joe hooks a freaky Rings of Saturn kind of hold on Daniels. Christopher makes the rope but Joe walks out of the way of a Lionsault press. I’ve always loved when Joe did that.

Joe drops a knee for two which is a lot more when you’re his size. Daniels gets an elbow up in the corner but walks into a powerslam to put him right back down. A Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Joe down, followed by an STO and the slingshot moonsault for two. A Death Valley Driver (good one too) out of the corner gets two. Joe powerbombs him half to death for two, followed by a triangle choke into an STF.

Daniels escapes so Joe pounds him on the head in the corner. Daniels tries to powerbomb him out but Joe ranas him and kills Daniels with a clothesline for two. Joe is getting frustrated and charges into a release Rock Bottom and the BME for two. Joe goes to the floor and Daniels BLASTS him in the face with a kick. A slingshot elbow to the floor hits Joe but it hurts Daniels too. Daniels throws Joe back in but gets kicked right back out.

The champ sets up a chair on the floor and it’s the Ole Kick. Remember that Daniels had a bad concussion a few weeks before that. Daniels is busted open now and Joe stomps away at the bad head. Here’s AJ to play cheerleader but it just makes Joe hammer away even more in the corner. Daniels comes back with palm shots and forearms but Daniels can’t stay on his feet.

A running enziguri gives Joe control again and he follows it up with a Punk knee in the corner. There’s the MuscleBuster and the Clutch but Daniels gets his foot on the rope to stun Joe. Joe brings in the chair and hits another MuscleBuster on the chair. The fans want him to do it again, because they’re evil people. Joe hits two punt style kicks to the head and then drives in knees. AJ finally throws in a towel to end this.

Rating: B+. This was more about story than the match but the match itself was good too. There was a poster for Summerslam 1993 with a picture of Yokozuna and the tagline: “Somebody has to stop him.” That’s what TNA had here with Joe as no one could beat him and the question became who was going to finally be able to beat him. That wouldn’t be for nearly another year but dang it was awesome at the time. Good stuff here as I was getting into the beating at the end.

We recap the main event. The idea is that Jarrett is evil and Sting/Christian want to stop him. This would go on for like 10 months so tonight is the first step.

Christian says he’s someone you can trust and you can call his brother or Chris Jericho and ask them if you don’t believe him. “On second thought, that’s a bad idea.” He says he’ll win the world title soon, which is true.

Monty Brown/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Christian Cage

Sting has different music here and it’s not working nearly as well. Brown and Christian start things out as the fans chant for….Christian instead of Sting. Ok then. A quick rollup gets two for the Canadian and it’s quickly off to Jarrett. Christian makes fun of the strut and Jarrett makes sure to block a tag. Christian gets one anyway and Jarrett stalls. They lock up and do some very basic stuff before Sting dropkicks him to the floor.

Back in and Sting blocks a ram into the buckle and bulldogs Jarrett down. Brown gets one of his own and Christian tags himself in. A Gail distraction lets Jarrett hit Christian low and toss him to the floor. Gail adds a rana on the floor so that Monty can drop Christian on the rail. Back in and Christian is in trouble as we get to the main part of the match. Jarrett and Brown take turns on him for a bit until Jarrett puts on a front facelock.

We get the classic “referee misses the tag” and it’s back to Brown for some two counts. Brown sends him to the apron but Christian bites his way out of a superplex. There’s the frog splash but Christian can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Jarrett breaks up the tag and Sting has to chase him away. The heels bring in chairs but their Conchairto misses and Christian hits a double DDT to take them both down.

There’s the hot tag to Sting and he cleans house. Stinger Splash hits Jarrett but Brown takes out the referee with a missed clothesline. The Deathlock goes on Jarrett and he taps but there’s no referee. In a cool counter, Brown hits a fallaway slam on Christian into Sting to break it up.

Sting and Christian almost get in a fight due to the title belt but they make up in about 8 seconds and clean house. Team Canada runs in but Sting and Christian hit Death Drops to take them out. Christian jumps Brown as Jarrett hits a belt shot on Sting for two. Sting Hulks Up but both he and Christian miss Stinger Splashes. Sting crushes the guitar with the bat and the Death Drop pins Jarrett.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the ending was a little more overdone than it needed to be. It did need to be overbooked but not that much I wouldn’t think. This would be the start of a VERY long story with Sting leaving immediately after this until he came back as Steve Borden for one night and then back as Sting on a full time basis. He would go after Jarrett and things would go from there until Angle arrived. This was fine for what it was though.

Christian leaves Sting alone in the ring with the bat so he can have the spotlight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t one of their best shows ever. For some reason the main event and Sting returning was the #1 moment in TNA’s first ten years which is baffling. At the end of the day, it’s just nothing that great. I get that Sting coming back to wrestling is a big deal…..but he had been in TNA before. He had four matches in 2003, so this wasn’t all that big of a deal. As for the rest of the show, it’s just ok. It’s not bad, it’s not great, but it was ok so we’ll go with right in the middle.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 700th show and since I’m trying to find this, #600 and #800, there’s no way of telling which order I’ll be doing these in. As for this show, the main event is Edge vs. Cena in a cage for the title with Johnny Boy defending. This is the go home show for No Mercy 2006, and believe it or not I haven’t done that one so there’s no link to it at the bottom. I’m not sure if that’s ever happened before. Let’s get to it.

We open with the cage around the ring.

Here’s DX to open the show. This has been the summer of their reunion and the eternally long feud with Vince and Shane. We get some clips of Unforgiven and the Cell match which was more or less the final destruction of Vince and Shane. The cage is up now. Before they can say much else, Coach comes out to yell at them. He makes a match on behalf of the McMahons.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders/Viscera/Charlie Haas

This is under Texas Tornado rules. Everyone rushes the ring and are pretty easily dispatched. This is exactly what you would expect: DX dominates and barely breaks a sweat. Top rope elbow hits Charlie, Chin Music, Pedigree, done in about two and a half minutes.

Coach says this isn’t over yet. HHH says they’re throwing him out and taking over.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Nitro is defending. JR gives us a factoid about Melina: she likes three way sex. Well you can’t say he beats around the…..never mind. Nitro controls to start but Jeff comes back with a quick Twist attempt. Melina tries to distract Jeff but only gets him to dive on Johnny as we take a break. Back with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock. During the break the slingshot dropkick from Hardy missed to give the champion control.

Jeff fights up but misses the Whisper in the Wind. Nitro stomps away in the corner and Jeff hits the post. Dang Melina can scream. Off to a surfboard submission and Jeff is in trouble. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and then a second one as Nitro is in some trouble very quickly. Whisper in the Wind gets two and Nitro heads to the floor. A baseball slide sets up the railing run and Melina gets taken out too. They both go up, resulting in Jeff backdropping him off the top and hitting the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here as both guys were still young and fast. It was clear that Jeff was going to be the bigger deal than his brother and that Nitro was going to be a decent sized star himself and this was a good example of that. Nothing great here but a title change is always cool to see.

Speaking of title changes, here’s a clip of the initial MITB cash-in to pump up the main event tonight.

DX harasses Coach through his locker room door.

Next week is the Raw Family Reunion.

Maria is with Jeff who says everyone is gunning for him. This turns into a discussion of Extreme Strip Poker on ECW. Melina comes in and screams for awhile until Jeff covers her mouth for a big pop.

Coach is on the phone with Vince who wants Coach to go to the ring. He opens his door really carefully and this is coming off like a BAD horror movie. Coach walks for awhile but stops when he sees HHH in front of him. He goes back the way he came and Shawn is waiting on him. I kid you not: a knockoff version of the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly comes on, A FREAKING TUMBLEWEED ROLLS BY, and Coach runs into the women’s locker room. DX goes in with HHH being excited and Shawn covering his eyes.

HHH stops to flirt but Shawn pulls him through a door. Coach runs through another door and finds Big Dick Johnson dancing. Coach runs out and trips over a mop bucket, allowing DX to catch up to him. They stalk him out the door and ram his head into the production truck, because that’s how nice they are. They put him in a rolling trash bin and have a janitor throw garbage on him. This ate up like 6 minutes and was either really funny or REALLY stupid, depending on your tastes.

Clip of Cena winning the title back at the Rumble.

DX comes in to talk to the Spirit Squad and there’s a new dress code in effect, according to HHH, “by the orders of Mr. John Laurinitis,” complete with an imitation of him. They have new outfits for the Squad.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

This is when Umaga is still an unstoppable monster. He has a loser leaves Raw match next week with Kane. Power brawl to start with Snitsky getting a jumping shoulder block, but falling prey to a Samoan Drop. The running hip attack in the corner (IT’S UMAGA’S MOVE JOSH, NOT RIKISHI’S!!!) sets up the Spike for the quick pin. Squash. Umaga wouldn’t lose until January when Cena beat him.

Orton isn’t worried about Carlito. That takes him a minute or two to say.

Video on The Marine. That movie sucked but the girl looked great. Cena did his own stunts apparently.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

This is a rematch from Unforgiven where Carlito tried a double springboard dive but Orton caught him in an RKO to end it. Carlito was in one of the biggest pushes of his career at this point but it was dying quickly. Orton starts off fast and sends Carlito into the post and out to the floor. Back in he does it again and Carlito is in trouble. Carlito comes back with a rana but Orton hits a single arm DDT for two. The arm work keeps going so Carlito comes back with a jumping back elbow. A springboard spinning senton gets two. Another springboard cross body is rolled through with Orton pulling the tights for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really boring with the arm work going on for awhile but not meaning anything at all. Carlito’s push was more or less done after this as Orton would team up with Edge in two weeks to form Rated RKO. Not the worst match ever, but did anyone care about Carlito? As in like EVER?

Edge cost Cena the world title at One Night Stand.

The Spirit Squad doesn’t want to wear the outfits. DX threatens to strip them of the tag titles because DX has that authority now. HHH: “Those guys are so gay.”

Cryme Tyme video on a cop having a doughnut. JTG slaps the coffee into his face. We get a chase around a fence so it’s agility training. Uh…yeah.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Nicky is more famous as Nick Nemeth, who is more famous as Dolph Ziggler. The Squad is in female cheerleader outfits. One of them has skid marks. Can we get this over with already? Why is Sarge in this? Sarge makes fun of them and the beating begins. He hooks the Cobra Clutch and spanks Nicky. A gutbuster gets two.

Sarge pounds on him in the corner but Nicky whips him in and SARGE DOES HIS OVER THE CORNER BUMP!!! HE’S 58 YEARS OLD HERE!!! That was insane!!! Nicky hooks a sleeper back inside which gets him nowhere. A modified Codebreaker gets two and Nicky works on the arm. DX pops up for a distraction and Sarge rolls him up for the pin. Too short to rate but DANG that bump was impressive.

Edge won the title back on an episode of Raw.

The Marine is premiering at a Marine base.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Mickie James vs. Victoria

DX says they have to fight in lingerie. I’m not complaining. Trish retired as champion so we need a new champion. They slug it out in the corner with Victoria taking over. Mickie comes back with right hands and a rana attempt but it gets countered into a Boston Crab. That doesn’t get anywhere so they tumble to the floor. Back in Mickie wins with a sunset flip. This went nowhere.

Cena and Edge fought again on SNME with Lita cheating to keep the belt on Edge.

We get some clips from an interview with Eric Bischoff about his book.

Bischoff and Masters are in the back when DX pops up for a book plug. Their words, not mine. He says DX was an NWO ripoff and that’s that. Eric leaves and HHH asks Masters if he wants to write a book. Masters says he’s thinking about it and HHH says “What are you going to call it? How To Lose 50 Pounds In Four Weeks?” That’s a steroids reference in case you didn’t get it. They laugh afterwards.

Cena and Edge also had a match at Summerslam. You may be noticing a pattern here. Edge won with brass knuckles.

The cage is lowered.

Then Cena won the title in a TLC match at Unforgiven, which gets us here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

In a cage. Just in case the videos they’ve given you all week haven’t been enough of a build, Edge also caused Cena to get beaten up by Booker and his crew. This gets big match intros which is certainly should. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Cena has a bad arm so Edge gets in what he can on it. That doesn’t work at all so Cena suplexes him for two. Edge goes back to the arm but walks into a belly to back suplex for two.

Cena whips Edge into the corner where he tries to climb out but Cena slams him off for two. FU is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Off to an armbar which is quickly broken. Cena takes him down and goes up but Edge hits the arm again to knock him off the rope. A spear puts Cena into the cage but Edge can’t follow up. They both go up and Cena bulldogs him off the top as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on the arm but walking into a belly to belly suplex for two. A Canadian spinwheel kick takes Cena down but he can’t follow up. A delayed cover gets two. Edge goes for the door but Cena saves, only to get kicked in his arm. Now the arm goes into the cage and Edge goes for a climb. Cena goes after him and they slug it out while sitting on the top of the cage. John drops to the top rope and pulls Edge back in by the leg.

Edge suplexes Cena off the top rope and they’re both down again. The challenger covers for two and Cena starts his comeback with one arm. He loads up the FU but Edge grabs the cage to counter and rams Cena’s head into it. Cena tries it again and they go up the ropes, only for Edge to drop down and hit an electric chair drop for two. Edge goes for the door but Cena saves him.

Lita throws a chair in through the door to Edge before the cage is shut and gets ejected for it. Time for a slugout, resulting in Edge clotheslining the referee. Edge gets the chair and misses a shot to Cena’s head that would have killed him. Cena responds by killing Edge with an even bigger chair shot. There’s the STFU but there’s no referee. Cade and Murdoch run in for no apparent reason other than for DX to come in for the save. They take Cena out and drag him to the door but yep, here’s DX for the save. Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door, which rams into Edge’s head. FU keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B. This was a TV match and that makes the rating go up. The ending is really stupid because it’s all about DX again. Other than that, this was solid enough for a supershow main event. Cena vs. Edge was one of the most played out feuds in forever though and it got pretty dull over time, especially when it was clear Edge was never going to get the clean win over John. Still good though.

Overall Rating: B. Like I said, this was the supershow since there was a two month gap between Raw PPVs. The main event is solid and we got to see the IC Title change hands which is always cool. Not the best supershow they’ve ever done, but it’s certainly a fun Raw and bigger than most of their shows. DX was in full overkill here but thankfully Rated RKO would form soon to give them something to do.

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