Rebellion 2023
Date: April 16, 2023
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s back to regular pay per view around here and that should make for a good show. The injury bug has struck Impact hard though as a new World and Knockouts Champion have to be crowned tonight. Other than that we have a Hardcore War, because we just needed more Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Heath/Rhino vs. Champagne Singh/Shera

Singh offers Heath money to throw the match but Heath throws the money instead. Heath works on the arm to take over before it’s off to Rhino vs. Shera. Rhino gets taken into the corner and Shera hammers away, setting up some choking on the ropes. Rhino gets in a clothesline but Shera is back up to knock Heath into the barricade. The belly to belly gets Rhino out of trouble for good though as the tag brings Heath in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Singh rolls Heath up, with Shera holding the feet for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C. Very basic match to open things up here and that’s all it needed to be. They kept things moving and while I’m not sure about the logic of having Shera and Singh win, well anything really, it wasn’t long enough to get bad and the fans are going to cheer for Rhino and Heath. Just don’t expect me to care about Singh and we’ll be fine.

Post match Rhino Gores Singh.

Pre-Show: Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz are challenging and it’s Rosemary and Wilde both tagging out to start. It’s way too early for the Sick Driver so Jessicka clotheslines her to the floor instead. Back in and King is sent into the corner for a running splash from Rosemary. King manages to get over for the tag to Wilde, who quickly takes over on Rosemary. A running shoulder in the corner connects and Wilde runs her over again for a bonus.

Rosemary slugs at Wilde, who gets caught with a Codebreaker to cut her right back off. An exploder to Wilde gets Rosemary out of trouble though and there’s the double tag so Jessicka can clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s quickly back to Rosemary, who gets to bite King. The spear gives Rosemary two but Wilde makes a blind tag. Rosemary hits a second spear for no count, as instead she walks into a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker to give Wilde the pin to retain at 9:39.

Rating: C. Slightly longer match than the opener here but it didn’t make that much of a difference. The Knockouts Tag Team Titles are certainly better than either Women’s Tag Team Title in WWE but that isn’t the biggest hurdle to clear. The division needs some more teams, but the Coven still feels fresh enough to make them last for a while to come.

The opening video focuses on the World and Knockouts Titles being vacated and how we need new champions.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club

The Club is defending in Ultimate X. It’s a brawl to start with Sabin getting knocked down but Shelley back off, allowing Sabin to try for the belts. With that not working, the Guns are sent outside for stereo dives from the Club. Back in and the Guns take over on, with Austin’s arm getting banged up.

Austin and Sabin climb up at the same time with the bad arm being rammed into the structure. Sabin ties up both of the Guns and Shelley goes up but gets pulled back down fast. Bey’s knee is banged up but he’s fine enough to grab a quick DDT and give everyone a much needed breather.

With everyone else on the floor, Austin busts out the big flip dive to take out both Guns. Back in and everyone gets knocked down again before all four go up for a climb at once. They all come crashing down and it’s the Art of Finesse to drop Shelley, allowing Bey to pull down the titles and retain at 13:07.

Rating: B. Hot opener as expected but there wasn’t much in the way of climbing, which made it kind of a regular match until the ending. The good thing is the people involved are able to do just about anything and make it work so this went well. I did like the lack of climbing and insanity though, as it was more about the people rather than the big crashes and spots. You don’t get that kind of thing in a match like this very often and it was nice for a change.

Commentary runs down the card as the audio quality goes down.

Steve Maclin is upset over the situation because he wanted to win the title from Josh Alexander. He spent years in a war zone and now he is ready to tag em and bag em. Oh and beat Kushida.

We recap Callihan trying to join the Design in maybe the dumbest story going in wrestling today.

Design/Callihan vs. Dirty Dango/Santino Marella/Joe Hendry

Before the match, Hendry mocks Callihan and the Design because the fans believe in him. He introduces Santino and….I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting. Is he really that kind of Canadian hero? Dango suplexes Angels to start and brings in Santino to wrestle Angels down. The threat of the Cobra sends Angels into the corner for the tag off to Callihan.

Santino gets taken into the corner corner so the beating can begin. A quick escape allows the tag off to Hendry though and Kon is pulled out of the air. Deaner gets suplexed and the tag brings Dango in to take over on Callihan. The Dirtbag Shuffle hits Callihan but a Kon distraction lets the villains get in a cheap shot. Dango gets beaten down in the corner but he manages to knock Angels down, allowing the hot tag off to Santino.

Everything breaks down and Hendry hits a double fall away slam, only to get caught with the Cactus Special 97. Deaner’s discus lariat hits Santino but he wants Callihan to finish him off. Callihan is handed the baseball bat….and he hits Deaner with it (thank goodness). Callihan gives him the thumbs down and walks out, leaving Santino to hit the Cobra for the pin on Deaner at 10:40.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic six man with the focus being on Santino and Callihan. That isn’t the most thrilling match but the fans being into it helped things a lot. At the very least, we’re done with the idiotic Seven Deadly Whatevers for Callihan, meaning we can finally move on to ANYTHING else. Not a great match but the fans liked it enough so it could have been a lot worse.

Tommy Dreamer is sad about his mother’s health but wants to be here anyway to fight in her honor. Dreamer is leaving a bit after tonight, but he’s ready to fight with the people he loves.

We recap PCO vs. Eddie Edwards. Eddie turned on PCO during the Honor No More days, sending PCO into a quest for revenge. For some reason Eddie has tried to bury PCO multiple times, which has been as bad of an idea as it has sounded. Now PCO wants to end Eddie for good in a Last Rites match.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

Last Rites (casket) match with Alisha Edwards in Eddie’s corner. PCO wastes no time in diving onto Edwards and the fight is on outside. Edwards gets in a shot though and hits his own dive to take over. They get inside for the first time, where PCO hits a running corner clothesline and a DDT.

The middle rope legdrop hits Edwards again and the Deanimator makes it worse. Back in and a chokeshove sends Edwards right back to the floor but it’s too early for the casket. Edwards gets in a shot to the arm and yep that’s dislocated. A German suplex and superkick don’t make things better for PCO so he goes outside…and slams the shoulder into the post to pop it back in.

They chop it out (with PCO opening his vest to make it easier) and Edwards is in trouble again. The PCOsault connects and Edwards gets chokeslammed onto the apron for another painful crash. Edwards gets in a shot of his own and smashes a kendo stick over PCO’s head. The Boston Knee Party connects but PCO pops back up. Cue Alisha with a shovel to the back for no avail, leaving PCO to chokeslam Eddie into the casket for the win at 13:46.

Rating: B-. PCO is not an overly complicated idea and sometimes that is what you need. In his case, you have a monster who is going to hurt people and is nearly unstoppable, which is exactly what you had here. I’m not sure what is next for PCO, but Edwards needs to go away for the time being while PCO moves off to something else. Good brawl here though, with PCO’s monster offense being great.

Trey Miguel’s promo….cannot be heard as there is no sound.

We recap Trey Miguel defending the X-Division Title against Mike Bailey and Jonathan Gresham. In short, two challengers, stupid champion, interference, triple threat results.

X-Division Title: Jonathan Gresham vs. Mike Bailey vs. Trey Miguel

Miguel is defending in an elimination match. They go with some three way grappling to start and that’s good for a three way standoff. Gresham and Bailey double hiptoss Miguel for a double two before Miguel is smart enough to bail to the ramp. The other two get to fight a bit until Miguel comes back in with an enziguri to Gresham.

Bailey is back up with a missile dropkick to Gresham and the standing shooting star gets two on Miguel. Bailey Indian Deathlocks Gresham and suplexes Miguel at the same time to crank on the leg even harder. Miguel gets dropped again and the challengers get to slug it out. Bailey poisonranas Gresham and crashes outside with Miguel in a big heap. Gresham dives onto Miguel but Bailey dives onto both of them to take over again.

Miguel cutters Bailey down and hits a big running version over the top for two on Gresham inside. Gresham is fine enough to Figure Four Bailey (that won’t work) but Miguel breaks it up with a top rope Meteora to eliminate Gresham at 9:45. Miguel figures Bailey’s four and they chop it out with the hold still on.

Bailey finally breaks out and wins a chop off until he kicks Miguel in the face. A standing flipping slam gives Bailey two and there’s the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon misses so Bailey sends him outside for the standing moonsault knees. Back in and the Ultimate Weapon only hits mat, allowing Miguel to roll him up with trunks to retain at 13:53.

Rating: B. Good, fast paced match here which shouldn’t be a surprise, much like holding Bailey in a pair of Figure Fours for two minutes straight making him do more flips and kicks. That is just something you know is coming from Bailey but at least now we get to move on to more of Miguel as champion. His time as champion is getting to be impressive as he is getting into the all time ranks and that can make for some very fun times.

We recap Team Bully vs. Team Dreamer. This is all about Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer, which has been going on for about six months now. Ray pretended to be good, Dreamer wasn’t sure, Ray revealed he was evil, it’s time for a big fight with friends because they used to be around each other in ECW.

Team Bully vs. Team Dreamer

Bully Ray, Moose, Brian Myers, Masha Slamovich, Kenny King
Tommy Dreamer, Killer Kelly, Yuya Uemura, Frankie Kazarian, Bhupinder Gujjar

It’s basically WarGames without the cage, with the first two entrants in for three minutes. Then Team Bully (thanks to winning a match on Impact) gets an advantage for ninety seconds. All ten have to get in and then it’s first pin or submission, anything goes. Moose starts for Team Bully and Frankie Kazarian starts for Team Dreamer.

Kazarian starts fast by throwing a trashcan at Moose’s head and we’re ready to go. Moose fires back with a chop and they head outside, where Kazarian sets up a table. We’ll save that for later though as they head back inside, with Kazarian sending him into the corner. Brian Myers is in to give Ray the advantage and he sets up another table next to the first.

Bhupinder Gujjar evens things up and goes after Myers to give Kazarian a breather. The cheese grater to the head has Myers busted open (good thing he is in a white shirt) and Moose gets trashcan lidded down. Kenny King is in to uneven things again and house is quickly cleaned. Moose hits Gujjar in the head with a bottle of water and Killer Kelly makes it 3-3. That means a staple gun to Myers’ head and another shot between Moose’s legs. Then Kelly staples her own head and it’s Masha Slamovich in to give the villains control again.

Everyone else is knocked down and it’s Myers alone to face Yuya Uemura as things are evened up. The good guys clear the ring again and it’s Bully Ray to complete his own team. Ray is smart enough to take his time so the rest of his team can get back up and jump Team Dreamer. Kelly is held down but it’s Dreamer to even things up with the kendo stick. Dreamer goes after the leg….and everyone else gets involved for a ten person chain submission for quite the visual.

Kelly and Slamovich have a chair duel until Ray shoves Kelly off the top. Moose spears Ray by mistake and Uemura hits Moose with a high crossbody. The Killer Klutch has King in trouble but Slamovich breaks it up and Snow Plows Kelly. Dreamer piledrives Slamovich but here are the Good Hands to jump him.

Kazarian breaks that up and let’s bring in a ladder. The Good Hands come back in to go after Kelly, who beats them up like the goons they are. Kazarian cutters Skyler through the tables at ringside but Ray low blows Dreamer inside. Another table is set up….and here are a bunch of referees to beat Ray up for revenge from the last few weeks. Dreamer drops Ray and, with the referees holding the ladder, goes up to splash Ray through said table for the win at 25:07.

Rating: C. What is there to say here? You have a bunch of other people there to keep everyone else warm for the sake of Ray vs. Dreamer. This is a feud that has been going on for months for reasons I still don’t quite get, but hopefully this should wrap it up. The hardcore stuff was kind of there but it was all basic stuff with only a few spots of note. It was fine enough and far better than Ray vs. Dreamer on their own, but it has been a story that wasn’t interesting for months and wasn’t much better here in the blowoff.

We recap the World title match. Josh Alexander had to vacate the title after about a year long reign, setting up #1 contender Steve Maclin vs. Kushida, the best remaining option. There isn’t much heat on the match, but it is a case where they didn’t have another choice and are doing the best they can.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Kushida vs. Steve Maclin

For the vacant title and former World Champion Nick Aldis is here as a surprise guest commentator. Aldis says he is officially back in Impact, which is better than nothing for him. Kushida goes right at him to start fast but it’s way too early for the Hoverboard Lock. Back up and Kushida rides him into a headlock without much trouble as Maclin can’t get anything going here.

Kushida can’t hit the basement dropkick so he takes it over into a wristlock instead. The Hoverboard Lock is blocked again and this time Maclin sends him throat first into the top rope to take over. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and Kushida’s back is sent into the post. They head outside with Maclin grabbing a suplex and dropping an elbow off the apron, though he might have banged up his knee in the process.

We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kushida’s back as Maclin certainly has a target. An Angle Slam is blocked though and Kushida hits a running kick to the arm. A discus forearm sets up the small package driver to give Kushida two but Maclin is fine enough to crotch him on top. They go to the ramp where Kushida hits a running shot to the arm but said arm is fine enough for a German suplex back inside.

A buckle bomb into a sitout powerbomb gives Maclin two and he puts Kushida on top. That is hardly the best idea as Kushida pulls him down into a cross armbreaker. Maclin gets over to the rope for the break and they crash out to the floor again. Back in and Maclin’s spear in the corner sets up the KIA for two, leaving Maclin frustrated.

Maclin goes up top but dives into the Hoverboard Lock, only to break it up with some forearms to the head. Another Hoverboard Lock goes on but Maclin reverses into a Death Valley Driver into the corner. Kushida gets the Hoverboard Lock AGAIN, only to have Maclin reverse into another KIA for the pin and the title at 18:27.

Rating: B. That was about the only way they could go as Kushida was a filler opponent for Maclin. That isn’t something they could really get around given the circumstances and it wound up being a rather good match anyway. Maclin has been built up to be champion for months now and it was the only conclusion they had here. Kushida going for the arm time after time but having Maclin escape it at every turn worked well. They were limited in what they could do and made it work as well as possible.

Post match Maclin insists that Scott D’Amore come out and hand him the title. D’Amore does so and gets hit in the face with the belt. Nick Aldis gets in and glares Maclin off. Aldis works just fine for a first challenger, as Maclin has already run through a lot of the other options.

Here are some upcoming major events. Multiverse United 2 is on August 20.

We recap the Knockouts Title match. Again the champion, Mickie James in this case, was forced to vacate the title due to injury so we have the #1 contender and a former champion fighting for the title.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jordynne Grace

For the vacant title. They shake hands to start and Grace grinds away on a headlock. Purrazzo cranks away on the arm and has Grace in some early pain. Some armdrags into a running hurricanrana has Grace in more trouble but she sends Purrazzo outside. That means a dropkick through the ropes and a Jackhammer on the floor as Purrazzo is rocked.

A rather stalled suplex gives Grace a slightly delayed two but she has to roll out of a Fujiwara armbar. The Queen’s Gambit on the ramp is broken up so Purrazzo settles for a moonsault to the floor instead. Back in and the Queen’s Gambit is broken up again but Purrazzo is able to grab a Koji Clutch.

Grace powers out and drops her hard with a Vertebreaker for all things for two. The Grace Driver is blocked and she pulls Purrazzo into a rear naked choke. They trade some strikes but Purrazzo pulls her into the Fujiwara armbar. Make that the Venus De Milo but a foot on the rope is good for the break. Back up and Grace’s spinebuster gets two, followed by a Grace Driver for the same (as Rehwoldt is getting into these near falls). Purrazzo counters a superplex into a sunset bomb, setting up the Queen’s Gambit for the pin and the title at 17:06.

Rating: B. This is an interesting way to go as I would have expected Grace to win but Purrazzo is a completely acceptable choice as well. Grace had held the title for a long time until James took it off of her but it has been a bit since Purrazzo. They could go quite an interesting direction with Purrazzo fighting off some challengers and hurting some arms, so this was certainly a smart idea. It was a good match as well, similar to Kushida vs. Maclin actually, but with the submission holds having more success until Purrazzo managed to pull it off.

They hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. They were in a rough place here as the two biggest matches had stories thrown together over the last two weeks. That left the main story of Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer with four friends each. Given what they had, they had put on a rather strong show, which has been the case for their bigger events in recent memory. Good show here, and worth some extra praise all things considered.

Results
Champagne Singh/Shera b. Heath/Rhino – Rollup to Heath
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker to Rosemary
Bullet Club b. Motor City Machine Guns – Bey pulled down the titles
Santino Marella/Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry b. The Design/Callihan – Cobra to Deaner
PCO b. Eddie Edwards – Chokeslam into the casket
Trey Miguel b. Jonathan Gresham and Mike Bailey – Rollup with trunks to Bailey
Team Dreamer b. Team Bully – Splash through a table to Ray
Steve Maclin b. Kushida – KIA
Deonna Purrazzo b. Jordynne Grace – Queen’s Gambit

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and that means we are on the way to Rebellion. However, this time we are going to have to stop for the sake of Josh Alexander vacating the World Title due to injury. There is a new main event of Kushida vs. Steve Maclin for the vacant title at Rebellion, which should be good but won’t feel as special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Multiverse United if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Josh Alexander’s World Title reign and his injury, which may have been exacerbated by Kushida’s Hoverboard Lock in a recent match.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. TMDK

That would be Shane Haste/Bad Dude Tito for TMDK. Everything breaks down fast and the Guns send them to the floor, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Skull & Bones is broken up, allowing Hates to take over on Shelley. Tito comes in to chop away for two and it’s right back to Haste for the neck crank.

A Downward Spiral into the corner gets Shelley out of trouble and Sabin comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Guns take over, including a dive and a bunch of kicks. Back in and a toss Blue Thunder Bomb is broken up and it’s the Dream Sequence to Tito. A crucifix from Shelley into a rollup from Sabin finishes Haste at 7:46.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Guns can work with just about anyone. Haste and Tito have been around a little bit more frequently and what I’ve seen has worked. That being said, it’s a rather little bit so they have a ways to go before they really get anywhere.

Post match the Guns go to the back where they run into the Bullet Club, who can work their way up to another title shot. The Guns say they’ve already got a title match at Rebellion so let’s make it an Ultimate X match. If the Guns can make it happen, the Club is in.

Eddie Edwards makes sure Kenny King has his back against PCO tonight. King wants to know where Edwards was when he was fighting PCO, so no he doesn’t have Edwards’ back. He also makes it clear that he wasn’t the one driving the car that ran over PCO.

Tommy Dreamer comes up to see Scott D’Amore about being on his team at Rebellion. Dreamer sucks up to him but D’Amore says his job is back here.

Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham

The winner gets a shot at X-Division Champion Trey Miguel, on commentary, at Rebellion. They stare each other down to start and we get a handshake. They fight over a wristlock with neither getting very far. Instead Bailey backs him into the corner before a double collision puts them both down. We take a break and come back with Bailey missing a running shooting star press, setting up a pinfall reversal sequence. They go head to head and then chop it out until Gresham knocks him to the floor.

Back in and Gresham rolls him up for two but a flipping slam gives Bailey two more. Gresham grabs a not great looking Figure Four and they roll around until they fall under the bottom rope to break it up. After being in a Figure Four for over a minute, Bailey is fine enough to hit a top rope springboard moonsault to the floor. Bailey yells at Miguel, which is enough to draw him in for a springboard double dropkick for the double DQ at 13:09.

Rating: B-. Miguel came in just before Bailey could go insane with the no selling of the leg and that is fine enough. You can pencil in the triple threat for Rebellion from here and that isn’t the worst idea. Gresham and Bailey have had a rivalry going on and there is no reason to have one of them go over the other for a title shot. If nothing else, we continue the tradition of a champion not getting the problem of a double DQ in a #1 contenders match, so at least something is consistent.

Post match Miguel indicates he’s smart. I’m sure.

Deaner is impressed Callihan has made it this far and talks about Callihan doing well in step six. Then Callihan cost them a match against Time Machine, which Callihan finds ridiculous. It’s time for step seven, which involves getting rid of all other authority in Callihan’s life except for the Design. He can figure out how to do that. This remains one of the worst things in wrestling today.

Santino Marella makes the triple threat match for the X-Division Title at Rebellion. We’ll even make it elimination style.

Jody Threat vs. Tara Rising

The fact that Rising has hair ala mid 1990s HHH is just a coincidence I assure you. Threat grabs a headlock to start as we see Santino Marella down in the back. A running clothesline and uppercut stagger Rising before some standing clotheslines rock Rising again. Some more clotheslines set up the double knees to the back and a German suplex drops Rising again. An F5 (the F416, the local area code) finishes Rising at 3:08.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well as Threat wasn’t exactly impressive. She felt like almost anyone who would fit in with almost any low level indy promotion who needs a stereotypical intense woman. Maybe this was just a tryout or something but Threat didn’t really stand out in any good way here.

In the back, Scott D’Amore checks on Santino Marella, with Dirty Dango saying the Design did this. Dango thinks that since Marella is out of action (as he sits there wide awake), he should be in charge. Instead, D’Amore says that Dango and Joe Hendry should face the Design. Marella says this is a chance to show his son how to stand up for himself, so he’ll fight the Design at Rebellion. Because of course he will.

Gisele Shaw, Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans interrupt Tasha Steelz. Shaw isn’t happy with Steelz interrupting her and a match is set for next week.

Bully Ray/Good Hands vs. Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura/Darren McCarty

McCarty is a former NHL player who got in a fight with Ray at Sacrifice. Skyler slugs away at Dreamer to start to no avail, so Uemura comes in for a double hiptoss. The jumping elbow drop gives Uemura two before it’s off to Hotch, who gets armbarred down. A cheap shot takes Dreamer down though and the double villain choking ensues. Dreamer finally DDTs his way out of trouble and it’s McCarty coming in to clean house. McCarty clears the ring before hitting a Stunner on Hotch for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but rather a way to have McCarty in there for something a bit special. That’s all it needed to be and McCarty didn’t take up too much time. If nothing else, it meant we didn’t have to hear Dreamer and Ray talk again for a week so I’ll call that one a success.

Post match Kenny King runs in to go after Dreamer, drawing in Frankie Kazarian, Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly in a row. Dreamer, Kelly, Uemura and Kazarian clear the ring as we seem to have a Team Dreamer for Rebellion.

Video on Josh Alexander’s World Title reign.

Jordynne Grace did well in a bodybuilding competition.

We look at Deonna Purrazzo qualifying for the Knockouts Title match at Rebellion.

Purrazzo talks about how rough of a time she has had in the last year but now she has a chance to get back to the top.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

PCO puts him on the top rope to start and snaps off a super hurricanrana as we take a break. Back with Edwards not being able to hit a tiger driver on the floor but settling for a superplex instead. A chop out goes to PCO and he choke shoves Edwards to the floor. The suicide cannonball plants Edwards again and a chokeslam onto the apron sends us to another break.

Back again with PCO hitting the Deanimator but Edwards pulls the referee in front of a charge. PCO goes up top but here is Alisha Edwards to beg him no on the PCOsault. Then she kendo sticks him in the head so Eddie can hit a buckle bomb. The Boston Knee Party finishes PCO at 16:45.

Rating: C+. PCO can still do some crazy things in the ring but at least the ending seems to explain who was driving the car. If nothing else, this ties up the on again/off again deal with Alisha and Eddie, which does at least offer something different for Eddie. You know there’s going to be some wacky match at Rebellion and that could at least be a lot of fun.

Post match PCO gives chase but Edwards and Edwards escape in their car.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Scott D’Amore, with Kushida and Steve Maclin here as well, to accept Josh Alexander’s World Title. D’Amore talks about how great Alexander has been as champion and hypes up a new champion being crowned at Rebellion. Here’s Alexander, with his wife and son, to talk about opportunities. He toiled on the Canadian independent scene to get a chance and then D’Amore offered him a contract.

Alexander has worked so hard in and out of the ring to pay people like D’Amore back. His work ethic has brought him this far and he stands here the longest reigning World Champion in Impact’s history. At Rebellion, there will be a new champion crowned and we’ll find out if Maclin has what it takes. Alexander promises to get the title back and goes to hand it over….and then his son takes the title.

After a NEW CHAMP chant, the title is handed over to D’Amore but Maclin says just hand it to him because he was going to win it at Rebellion. D’Amore goes off on Maclin for going after an injured Alexander, because if Maclin was a real man, he would have accepted the open challenge like Mike Bailey did. Maclin isn’t a real man and a few weeks ago, Kushida made him tap out. Maclin calls out Kushida, who pulls him into the Hoverboard Lock and sends him running before holding up the title. Kushida hands the title back to D’Amore to end the show. They did what they could with what they had here so this could have been worse.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another standard Impact show with enough good action and building towards the future. The Alexander segment was doing as well as could be expected given some horrible circumstances that aren’t Impact’s fault so I’ll take what I can get. Other than that, they’re getting Rebellion ready and we might even be seeing less from Santino Marella week to week. I’ll call that a win so it’s another nice week around here.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. TMDK – Rollup to Haste
Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham went to a double DQ when Trey Miguel interfered
Jody Threat b. Tara Rising – F416
Darren McCarty/Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura b. Bully Ray/Good Hands – Stunner to Hotch
Eddie Edwards b. PCO – Boston Knee Party

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2023
Location: Sam’s town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Sacrifice is next week and the card, while is looking a bit stacked, is coming together. That means we are likely to get some more build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray this week, as that is likely headlining the show. Otherwise, the six man tag featuring Time Machine should see some more setup as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

In the desert, PCO screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Opening sequence.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. Decay

Steve has to bail to the ropes to escape Gresham to start but a bite of the hand has Gresham in trouble. Bailey comes in and is sent outside just as fast, leaving Decay to double team Gresham down in the corner. Gresham gets sent into the corner but forearms/dropkicks his way to freedom. Bailey comes in to backflip a bit and kicks Steve down. There’s the running shooting star for two on Steve…who bites on Bailey’s boot.

The boot is fine enough for the bouncing kicks but Steve hits a clothesline for the double knockdown. Taurus comes in for his huge backbreaker into a pop up Samoan drop for two on Bailey. Everything breaks down and Gresham sends Steve outside, leaving Bailey to kick Taurus in the head for one. Steve and Gresham fight on the floor as Bailey hits the spinning kick, setting up the Ultimate Weapon for the pin on Taurus at 6:19.

Rating: C+. This was shorter than I was expecting but Bailey didn’t managed to no sell a bad knee so he is doing better than usual. Other than that, it was the partners who don’t quite like each other teaming together to beat a midcard team, which isn’t a horrible stretch. Bailey is a popular enough star to carry the opener, and the Ultimate Weapon does look painful so had a nice start here.

Post match Gresham and Bailey seem a bit testy with each other but respect is shown.

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian and Rich Swann are ready for the Bullet Club tonight. They’ve been successful on their own and now it’s time to succeed together. They trust each other, but here is Steve Maclin to interrupt, with Swann not seeming pleased.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t lost last week and blames Deonna Purrazzo. Revenge is coming at Sacrifice. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in and suggest Swinger faces….interviewer Gia Miller? Instead, he’ll face Jai Vidal.

Steve Maclin vs. Heath

Heath starts fast with some running forearms but gets sent into the corner to cut him off. Maclin runs him over with a good shot to the face until a backdrop sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Maclin beating him up at ringside and choking on the rope. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Heath fights out and slugs away, including the jumping knee and powerslam for two. Maclin cuts off a bulldog though and ties him in the Tree of Woe, setting up the spear. KIA finishes Heath at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m still kind of amazed at what Heath has been doing in Impact as he has turned into a rather reliable in-ring star without doing much of the comedy. Granted he never really got the chance to show what he could do so maybe this has been there all along. That being said, this was all about getting Maclin another win on his path to the World Title shot and that went well.

The Death Dollz are ready to retain the Knockout Tag Team Titles but Taya says Jessika might be too much of a liability. Taya and Rosemary can handle this themselves, which (after Jessika leaves), seems to be because they think Jessika could be swayed.

PCO has walked from the desert to Las Vegas, shouting or Eddie on the way.

Jonathan Gresham calls Mike Bailey his sidekick but Bailey says he isn’t forgetting Gresham beating him. They’ll run it back at Sacrifice.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jai Vidal

Zicky Dice, Savannah and Gisele Shaw are all here too. Swinger doesn’t think much of Vidal to start and his offer of a test of strength is answered with a dropkick. Vidal drops an elbow to send Swinger into the corner but a charge misses. Dice grabs Vidal’s leg and gets ejected, with the distraction letting Swinger choke on the rope. Evans breaks up the camel clutch and gets ejected, along with Shaw. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to jump Shaw, leaving Vidal to hit a running dropkick to finish Swinger at 3:22.

Rating: C. Total comedy match here and yeah it worked well, as does almost everything that Swinger does. Having him lose over and over is a funny idea, as he is still trying to find someone he can beat. Vidal was fine enough in the ring, but this was all about Swinger (and Purrazzo in the end) and he delivered.

Deaner talks about Callihan’s sixth step when Callihan storms in to yell about last week. Callihan’s sixth step is about taking punishment, which he’ll do. Deaner seems to have an idea. Here’s an idea: WRAP THIS STORY UP ALREADY!

PCO arrives at the arena, still screaming for Eddie Edwards.

Mickie James comes up to Tommy Dreamer, who has requested that they have a mixed tag against Bully Ray and Masha Slamovich next week. Jordynne Grace comes in to say this is a bad idea and promises that she’s still coming for the title.

Here is Eddie Edwards for a chat. He has been thinking a lot and is ready to let the past be in the past. Everything that has happened before is over and it is time for him to focus on himself and his future in Impact. We look at someone in a car saving Eddie from PCO last week and…here is PCO. Before he can make it to the ring though, Kenny King comes up from behind and hits him with a shovel, allowing Edwards to come up for the double team.

Commentary speculates that King was driving Edwards’ getaway car last week before PCO sits up on the ramp. The brawl is on and PCO gets crushed between the steps and post. That’s broken up and PCO (bleeding from the back of the head) cleans house, only to have King grab a Blockbuster. The chair is put over PCO’s head and Edwards crushes it with a kendo stick. This isn’t going to end well for them is it?

Santino Marella is in the back with….Vladimir Kozlov of all people. They’re happy to be back together and then Kozlov leaves. Dirty Dango comes in and can’t say Kozlov’s name. That’s enough for SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS, so here is Joe Hendry, who wants Brian Myers. Santino makes the match so Dango can gush over what a Hendry fan he is. It’s such a big deal that Santino makes Hendry and Dango against Myers and Moose.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz (Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are defending and Jessika is here with them. Taya crossbodies King down to start and hands it off to Rosemary for a suplex. Wilde comes in to slug away, earning a bite to the hear from Rosemary. Everything breaks down and the Coven is clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Wilde chokes in the corner but Rosemary manages a quick Upside Down. King is knocked away and the hot tag brings in Taya to clean house. The running hip attack and running knees in the corner hit King for two but Wilde hits a Fameasser over the ropes. Everything breaks down but King breaks up the Road To Valhalla. Instead Wilde hits a kick to the head and King’s pumphandle flipping faceplant connects for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Taya appearing on this week’s Dynamite didn’t exactly help with the result but well done on trying to make some new stars out of nowhere. Wilde has been trying to find her way back to prominent since her return and King has only been around for a few weeks. Nice match too, without Jessika playing into the finish as they seemed to telegraph.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bullet Club

Kazarian flips out of Bey’s wristlock to start but Bey kicks him into the corner. There’s a running chop and it’s Austin coming in. That’s fine with Kazarian, who sends Bey outside and grabs Austin’s arm. Swann comes in and is quickly dropped with a springboard dropkick, allowing Austin to grab a headlock (as is the customary followup to a springboard missile dropkick). That’s broken up as well and it’s off to Kenta vs. Alexander, which has the fans’ approval. They slowly slug it out until everything breaks down, with Bullet Club being sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bey kicking Swann in the head and motioning that Swann is asleep. Austin and Bey use some precision kicks to put Swann down for two but Bey misses a legdrop. Kenta isn’t having any of this tagging stuff though and kicks Swann right back down. Swann manages a kick though and it’s Kazarian coming back in to really clean house.

Everything breaks down and Alexander comes in to strike on Bey. The hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb on Bey and Swann adds the middle rope 450. Austin makes the save and it’s time for the exchange of kicks to the head. Swann flips off the apron onto Swann but gets taken down by Bey.

The slingshot dive is loaded up but Kazarian pulls bey out of the air into a cutter onto the pile (that was great). Back in and Swann hits an ax kick to Bey and Kazarian adds the slingshot DDT to Austin. Kenta knees Swann down but gets dropped by Alexander. Cue Steve Maclin for a distraction though and Alexander gets kicked down. The Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Swann at 17:57.

Rating: B. This was rolling by the end and the Maclin distraction was about all they could have done to get out of this without something rather screwy. You don’t want the new champs winning and Kenta probably isn’t getting pinned, so having Maclin there was the best way out. Rather good match too, with talented wrestlers getting time to do what they can.

Overall Rating: B-. Impact is somehow managing to build towards three shows (granted one of them is in name only for the most part) at once and thankfully they didn’t bother with that much about Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That feud doesn’t need any more time and hopefully they can have their match and move on (yeah I know there’s no way that’s it). Other than that, you had some build towards Sacrifice, which is looking rather strong. Good show this week, as we should be in for a nice few weeks coming up.

Results
Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham b. Decay – Ultimate Weapon to Black Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Heath – KIA
Jai Vidal b. Johnny Swinger – Running dropkick
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Pumphandle flipping faceplant to Valkyrie
Bullet Club b. Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Fold to Swann

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for No Surrender and the card is set up. There is one thing though that we need to cover, which involves who gets to talk first in a live edition of Busted Open Radio. Therefore, we have a Beat The Clock Challenge between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Non-title and Gresham takes Shelley down by the leg to start. Bailey comes in and kicks away at said leg, with Gresham and Bailey taking turns on it. Shelley manages to knock Bailey outside though and it’s the Guns taking over for a change. Back in and the limping Shelley strikes away at Bailey, who comes right back with the bouncing kicks to Sabin.

Gresham and Sabin slug it out until Gresham does one of those stupid looking deals where he sends the Guns together and kicks Sabin, making him dragon screw legwhip Shelley. The Guns are back up with a Death Valley Driver/neckbreaker combination, followed by a Magic Killer for two on Gresham. Gresham suplexes Sabin and brings Bailey back in for the kicks, plus an Indian Deathlock to Shelley.

With that broken up, Shelley escapes Skull And Bones, leaving Gresham to Figure Four Shelley. That’s broken up as well and the Guns are sent outside for the double dive. Back in and Gresham gets the Figure Four again, with Bailey hitting the moonsault knees to Sabin. Bailey gets knocked down though and Sabin powerbombs him onto Gresham for the save. Gresham hits Bailey by mistake and the Guns strike away (gee Shelley’s knee healed up fast), setting up the Dirt Bomb for the pin on Gresham at 12:56.

Rating: B. This was the fast paced and all action match, though Bailey’s horrendous selling issues were spreading around here. The Guns did their thing and won as they should have, with Gresham and Bailey continuing to have their issues. It was the kind of fast paced match that you should open a show with, but my goodness sell the leg already.

Video on Rich Swann vs. Josh Alexander, with Swann wanting to get back to the top of the mountain. Alexander isn’t so sure, but does want Swann to get a title shot.

We look at Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal getting chilied by Deonna Purrazzo on Before The Impact.

Deonna Purrazzo mocks Gisele Shaw for being bad luck and promises to break her arm at No Surrender. B****.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Tommy Dreamer vs. Jason Hotch

John Skyler is here with Hotch and promises that Dreamer is going down to one good hand. Dreamer misses a charge into the corner to start and a neckbreaker gives Hotch two. Hotch goes up top but gets caught in a super Death Valley Driver for the pin at 1:15. Well that was quick.

Joe Hendry had a meet and greet earlier today and the fans are behind him against Moose at No Surrender.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Allysin Kay

Jessika, Rosemary and Marti Belle are here too. They fight into the corner to start with Valkyrie getting the better of things and grabbing something like a reverse Koji Clutch on the mat. With that broken up, Valkyrie hits a spear for two as Kay can’t get much going so far. Kay gets kicked down in the corner to set up the running knees for two.

We take a break and come back with Kay whipping Valkyrie into the corner for a change, only to miss a charge. Valkyrie hits her hip attack, earning herself one heck of a right hand. A not so great blue Thunder Bomb gives Valkyrie two and we hit something like an STF. The rope gets Kay out of trouble and she reverses a sunset flip into a sunset driver for two. Belle offers a distraction so Kay can nail a kick to the head. With Rosemary dealing with Belle, the AK47 finishes Valkyrie at 10:34.

Rating: C. It’s good to give Kay, who is already a former Knockouts Champion, a reheating as she hasn’t been around in a long time. You need to have her built back up to make the Hex a reasonable threat to the Death Dollz and they made that work here. Valkyrie was working here and dominated most of the match too, making Kay look better in the process.

Santino Marella emcees a contract signing between Josh Alexander and Rich Swann. Alexander says Swann doesn’t have it in him, sending Swann into a speech about how he was hurt before but came back through all of his injuries. He’ll win the title tomorrow, but here is Steve Maclin to say he’s getting it anyway. Referees break up the ensuing fight.

Deaner/Callihan vs. Yuya Uemura/Frankie Kazarian

The rest of the Design is here too. Deaner has Callihan start with Kazarian and tells him to do the right thing. Callihan decks Kazarian to start so now Deaner is willing to fight for himself. Kazarian strikes his way out of trouble and brings Uemura in for an armbar. Callihan comes back in and Deaner gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. With the chinlock broken up, Kon pulls Kazarian off the apron to prevent the tag but Deaner misses a Swan Dive.

That’s enough for the tag to Kazarian as the pace picks way up. The springboard spinning legdrop hits Deaner but Callihan is back in with a suplex. Kazarian rolls between them and brings Uemura back in as everything breaks down. With Deaner down in the corner, Callihan tags himself back in and sends Uemura outside. A spinebuster drops Kazarian but Deaner tells Callihan to stop the Cactus Driver. The distraction lets Kazarian grab the chickenwing for the win at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Fast paced match here but egads the Callihan/Design stuff is falling flat. It feels like something we have seen so many times and there is no reason to care about whatever they do. Callihan still feels like something of a star, but the Design is as much of a dollar store version of the evil cult as you can get. Just get on with Callihan turning on them and move on already.

Video on Mickie James defending against Masha Slamovich at No Surrender, with Jordynne Grace looming over the whole thing.

Callihan wants to know how that was Deaner’s step #5, with Deaner saying it was about loyalty. Callihan is still in this, and tomorrow night, he can prove himself at No Surrender. Just remember: the Design chooses him, not the other way around.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Bully Ray vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

The clock is set at 1:15 and Ray hasn’t even bothered to put his knee pads on properly. The Good Hands immediately come in for a distraction so Ray can hit Gujjar with a chain for the pin at 30 seconds to win the challenge. I’ll take something short from Ray and Dreamer as this sets up the two of them talking at No Surrender.

Post break Tommy Dreamer gives Gujjar a pep talk.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Crazzy Steve

Steve, with Black Taurus, is challenging in Monster’s Ball and they’ve both been held without food, water or light for twenty four hours. There are weapons at ringside because we need to ramp up the violence. Steve chops away to start and takes him to the floor for the hard right hands.

We take a break less than a minute in (as that has now swept through wrestling) and come back with Steve being sent face first into some chairs on the floor. A big chair shot only hits post though and Steve sends him into the chairs instead. Back in and Miguel hits a fast running dropkick to take over again, meaning it’s time for a chain. More weapons are thrown in but Steve staple guns Miguel low for a breather. Steve Cannonballs into Miguel, in a trashcan, in the corner as we take another break.

Back again with Miguel grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for a breather of his own. A fork (yes a fork) to Steve’s face is blocked but Steve is busted open anyway. It’s time for the bag of tacks (of course) but Steve blocks the Lightning Spiral. The Black Hole Slam onto the tacks gets two on Miguel, with Steve pulling him up at two. That takes too long though and Miguel kicks away, setting up a stomp to the back to send Steve into the tacks.

It’s table time (because of course) but instead a double clothesline puts them both into the tacks again. With nothing else working, Miguel pulls out a metal spike, only for Steve to pull out Janice (a 2×4 with nails sticking out). With Miguel terrified, Steve Death Valley Drivers him through the table in the corner for two.

Steve gets caught on top though and a chair to the head puts him in more trouble. A quick Canadian Destroyer onto the tacks rocks Miguel again though and a delayed cover gets two. Janice to the forehead busts Miguel open even more but he gets in a low blow. A Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table (with Miguel hitting back first) knocks Steve silly and retains the title at 22:31.

Rating: B. Your taste in hardcore/violent wrestling is going to determine everything here. There wasn’t much of anything new here but they did beat each other up and it felt like the big finish to the feud. Miguel gets to prove he can go in a different direction and looks stronger as champion as a result. The ending left a good bit to be desired, but they had a very violent match on the way there.

Overall Rating: B. The middle left a good bit to be desired, but with a pair of solid matches, Dreamer vs. Ray being kept under two minutes combined and a nice push towards No Surrender, this was another very nice use of two hours. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore, but Impact is rapidly approaching being the best weekly wrestling show. They have put in the work and made their show that much better, so well done on all sides with another quality show this week.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Dirt Bomb to Gresham
Tommy Dreamer b. Jason Hotch – Super Death Valley Driver
Allysin Kay b. Taya Valkyrie – AK47
Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura b. Callihan/Deaner – Chickenwing to Callihan
Bully Ray b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Right hand with a chain
Trey Miguel b. Crazy Steve – Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

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