Border Brawl 2025
Date: May 25, 2025
Location: Niagara Falls Convention Center, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

So this is a Canada vs. the USA show and…yeah that’s about it. TNA advertised it a few times but didn’t go into detail about what to expect. I’m not sure what that is going to mean but it’s one of those concepts that should work no matter what. It’s on a weekend that is chock full of wrestling but maybe something here stands out. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the concept and talks about wanting to be the best. Not much to see here.

We look at Niagara Falls, Canada, which is a beautiful scene.

We look at Niagara Falls, USA, which is full of trash. The bias is strong with this one.

We get both National Anthems.

We meet Team USA: Tommy Dreamer, Nic Nemeth, Matt Hardy, The System, Tessa Blanchard, Victoria Crawford, Sami Callihan and coach….Barbie Blank, better known as Kelly Kelly.

We meet Team Canada: Channing Decker, Jacques Rougeau, Courtney Rush, Cody Deaner, Champagne Singh, Northern Armory, Personal Concierge, Santino Marella, William Trudeau, Jody Threat and coach Allie. Note that these do not seem to be the full teams, or at least not everyone who comes to the ring is listed.

The unnamed host brings the coaches in to introduce the captains: Jacques Rougeau (Canada) and…no one for the Americans. Allie promises to make a statement and Blank mocks Canadian cuisine. Rougeau, and yes he is dressed as the Mountie, promises that Canada will get their man.

Since “the team with the most wins” wins is too simple, we have a points system:

Standard Victory (pin/submission/countout/DQ) – 1 point
Quick Victory (less than five minutes) – 2 points
Lightning Victory (less than 1 minute) – 3 points
Double DQ/Double Countout/Draw – 0 points

We run down the card.

The Personal Concierge, apparently Canadian, mocks America for its treatment of the elderly and praises Canadian’s use of maple syrup. We hear about the greatness of Justin Trudeau and meet his “nephew”, William Trudeau!

William Trudeau (Canada) vs. Sami Callihan (USA)

Trudeau (who looks like a slightly smaller Big Bill) jumps Callihan to start but he grabs the paper. The Concierge offers a distraction and Callihan gets to cut Trudeau’s fingers. Callihan goes after the Concierge’s fingers as well but gets cut off, leaving the Concierge to work on Callihan’s arm. It works so well that he does it again (without looking, and I think you know where this is going) but tries a third time, allowing Callihan to reverse. The Concierge attacks Trudeau’s arm by mistake and gets yelled at, allowing Callihan to hit a Stunner for the win at 3:04.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have time to do much here but that’s kind of the point of the scoring system. Callihan gets a win and starts things off fast, while Trudeau is likely a local guy who has a good look and an easy gimmick. It’s not much of an opener, but hopefully things can pick up a bit.

USA – 1
Canada – 0

Wait what? I have no idea why that isn’t higher due to the Quick Victory but that’s the official score.

Post match the Concierge gets the Stunner as well.

Commentary talks about the difference between American and Canadian alcohol. And how much difference does it make that the USA is OLDER? Is it me, or do they have absolutely nothing to talk about here and they’re just filling time?

Barbie Blank mocks Allie and Rougeau, the latter of whom tells Blank to not fall out of her shoes. Blank promises American dominance.

Callihan’s victory is descried as Standard, with no explanation of why it wasn’t a Quick Victory despite the under five minute time limit.

Victoria Crawford (USA) vs. Courtney Rush (Canada)

Allie is on commentary. They talk a lot of trash at each other to start and Rush wants a dance off. Rush dances and then Crawford dances, with Crawford knocking her down to take over. The northern lights suplex gives Crawford two but Rush hits a spear for the pin at 2:18.

USA – 1
Canada – 2

Was something clipped from the opener? Or am I going nuts here? I even went back and checked the scoring that they put up, plus the time of the opener, and it doesn’t make sense.

Channing Decker and Jesse Bieber are ready to take out the System for Canada. The System comes in, with JDC promising to make them pay some tariffs.

The System (USA) vs. Channing Decker/Jesse Bieber (Canada)

Barbie Blank is on commentary. JDC works on Decker’s arm to start but Decker flips away out of the corner. A spinning legdrop grazes JDC’s hands and it’s off to Bieber, with Blank being rather energetic on commentary. Bieber dances and elbows JDC in the head before the System gets tied in the Trees of Woe.

The Canadians sing O CANADA ala Petey Williams but Moose fights up and takes over. Moose chokes with his shirt and Decker gets taken down into the wrong corner. JDC grabs the chinlock for a bit before putting Decker in the Tree Of Woe. Moore gets on the mic and the System gives the Pledge of Allegiance, allowing Decker to high crossbody both of them down.

Bieber comes back in with a slingshot double spear but a dive is cut off. JDC goes up top and gets brought back down with a Tower Of Doom. Moose misses the spear and gets taken down but JDC hits an Air Raid Crash. Back up and Moose hits a spear for the pin on Decker at 10:39.

Rating: C. Well at least it got some time. The System are about as good of a choice as you have for a heel spot like this as they can go out there and be put in almost any combination for the same result. Moose is still one of the biggest and most dominant stars in TNA today and having him smash through Decker for the win was a fine way to go.

USA – 2
Canada – 2

Brutus Beefcake of all people talks about bleeding red, white and blue. What in the world is this show?

Champagne Singh (Canada) vs. Tommy Dreamer (USA)

Hardcore. Dreamer does a quick tribute to Sabu but Singh isn’t interested. Singh tries to slug away and gets hiptossed out to the floor for his efforts. Dreamer follows and spits beer in Singh’s face, then knocks beer out of Singh’s mouth in a nice sequence. It’s time to bring in some weapons, including a trashcan lid to the head.

Dreamer busts out some bagged milk but can’t hit a piledriver, as Singh backdrops his way to freedom. Some choking with a chain keeps Dreamer in trouble and it’s time for a chair. Dreamer is sent face first into said chair Singh starts getting rather cocky, allowing Dreamer to move the chair so Singh crotches himself.

Dreamer brings in a hockey stick and gets in a shot of his own, setting up a cutter for two. An STO onto a chair gives Singh two and Dreamer’s DDT gets the same. Dreamer pours the milk over himself and calls over….some either actors or musicians, who help load up a table. Said table is loaded up in the corner and a Death Valley Driver puts Singh through it for the pin at 11:07.

Rating: C. This feels like a match that Dreamer has done about 3,485 times over the course of his career so it was almost muscle memory at this point. It doesn’t help that Singh returned at Under Siege as Raj Singh rather than Champagne, suggesting that this show was taped in advance. Or they just didn’t pay a bit of attention to what they were doing with him.

USA – 3
Canada – 2

Frankie Kazarian (USA) vs. Cody Deaner (Canada)

Before the match, Kazarian insults most of the Canadians he knows how horrible they are. Kazarian is not a normal person, because he is a king. This year alone, he has already claimed 50 kingdoms, and tonight he claims his 51st kingdom over someone who is recently unemployed. Deaner comes out to talk about his love of Canadians and most Americans, but there is one American he doesn’t like. That would be the hoser known as Kazarian. Rather than gaining his 51st kingdom, he could punch Kazarian in the face fifty one times!

The bell rings and Kazarian bails from the threat of a right hand as Rehwoldt annexes the Great Lakes. Back in and Kazarian hammers away but Deaner takes him into the corner for some right hands of his own (with the fans counting along to keep up the bit). More right hands keep up the counting, with Deaner getting all the way to 31.

Kazarian fights back and hits a springboard spinning legdrop for two. Deaner is back up to hammer away some more but Kazarian knees him in the ribs. The cravate goes on but Deaner fights up and hits even more right hands. That gets him to fifty total but Deaner tries a big fifty first, allowing Kazarian to roll him up for the quick pin at 4:49.

Rating: C-. And this is a good example of what is wrong with this whole show: this entire match was built around the “Canada could be the 51st state” deal and that gets old fast. It’s one of several “Haha America is better than Canada” bits throughout the show and it feels like it was written with the least effort possible. The match itself wasn’t much better, but that’s not much of a surprise with Deaner involved.

USA – 4
Canada – 2

Post match Deaner does get in that 51st right hand.

Matt Hardy has been attacked in the back.

The System (USA) vs. Northern Armory

Before the match, Alisha Edwards insults Canada and then Eddie and Brian Myers get to do the same. In other words, even more stalling as they try to fill in time. The Northern Armory doesn’t like the besmirchment and promise to raise their elbows and break the System. The fight is on fast with the System getting tied in the ropes for some quick chops. Williams chokes Myers but he fights out and grabs an armbar. Myers tries to hand the arm off to Eddie, who doesn’t notice the reversal and works on Myers’ arm by mistake (twice in about an hour if you’re keeping track).

Icarus comes in and the Armory take the System out with stereo dives. Alisha offers a distraction and Myers’ superkick gets two on Williams. The chinlock goes on but Williams fights up and brings Icarus back in. Everything breaks down and Myers hits a spear for two, followed by a double butterfly powerbomb. The System Overload only gets two so the System loads up another. This time Williams breaks it up and Icarus gets a rollup for the pin on Eddie at 7:37.

Rating: C. Kind of weird to see back to back matches end with a rollup but oh well. As was the case earlier, you can throw any combination of the System out there for a match like this and get about the same result so there was only so much bad to be found. The Armory winning for Canada was a good way to go and the fans approved, which is even more impressive as Eddie and Myers have been a successful team.

USA – 4
Canada – 3

Post match the beatdown is on but Eric Young runs in with a chair to make the save.

Tessa Blanchard (USA) vs. Jody Threat (Canada)

Vipress and Victoria Crawford are here with Blanchard…who can’t wrestle due to an injury. Instead, Vipress will be taking her place, with the fans seeming rather happy with Blanchard being hurt.

Vipress (USA) vs. Jody Threat (Canada)

Threat grabs a headlock takeover to start before taking her into the corner for some rapid fire clotheslines. Some forearms put Vipress in the ropes and a running dropkick sends her to the floor in a big crash. Blanchard offers a distraction though and Vipress snaps Threat throat first across the middle rope. They seem to have a bit of miscommunication so Threat faceplants her, only to get caught in something like a reverse powerbomb for two.

The chinlock goes on to slow things down (and possibly get back on the same page) but Threat is right back up. Threat makes the clothesline comeback but charges into a boot against the ropes. Threat’s spinebuster gets two so Blanchard offers a distraction. Crawford gets in a kick to the head and Vipress rolls her up (with tights) for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: C-. Hey look, another rollup. Vipress means nothing around here so it’s an upset pin, though it doesn’t seem likely that Blanchard would have had a different result. There wasn’t much to this one, which isn’t a surprise as this hasn’t exactly been a show focused on what is happening in the ring. I have never seen much out of Threat and that was on full display again here.

USA – 5
Canada – 3

Santino Marella has been attacked as well.

Eric Young (Canada) vs. Matt Hardy (USA)

Hardy seems perfectly fine after being attacked earlier and the Northern Armory is here too. A headlock doesn’t get Hardy very far as Young bails to the floor, followed by an exchange of wristlocks back inside. Hardy puts him down but comes up favoring his knee, which I guess counts as fallout from the attack. Young goes after the knee and the Armory gets in a few cheap shots of their own from the floor.

Back in and Young stays on the leg but Hardy fights up and rams him into the buckle over and over. A neckbreaker gives Young two but he misses a moonsault. The Twist of Fate…doesn’t exactly work so the Armory offers a distraction. Young rolls him up with feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: C. Oh come on already. You can’t have Young, a multiple time World Champion, hit a finisher to beat Hardy? It’s not like they’re on totally different levels around here or anything, but we needed a fourth straight rollup for the pin. Nothing special in the ring, but that shouldn’t be much of a surprise at this point in the show.

USA – 5
Canada – 4

Hardy looks like he’s about to cry.

Allie and Barbie Blank argue.

Santino Marella doesn’t know who jumped him but Canada is a place where people can come to fulfill their dreams. It is about opportunity and a quality of life and it’s time for him to stand up for his country. He Can-a-da. Marella: “Get it?”

Commentary recaps the night and what Marella needs to do to win. Basically…he needs to win for a tie but if he wins really fast, Canada wins the whole thing.

Santino Marella (Canada) vs. Nic Nemeth (USA)

Flag, as in capture the, match and Nemeth, with Barbie Blank, doesn’t even wear his Tag Team Title. Marella on the other hand has Jacques Rougeau and Allie to even (I guess?) things out. Commentary goes over Marella’s rather complicated nationality history and we officially hit a minute, so the Lightning Victory is off the table. Nemeth takes him down as commentary promises a victory and a salute to gun racks.

Marella knocks him to the floor as the slow pace continues. The test of strength goes on, with commentary making it clear that this is NOT the same as a Five knuckle Shuffle. Nemeth rakes the eyes over the top and knocks him down, which should allow him to get the flag but instead he poses. The first attempt for the flag doesn’t work for Nemeth as we cross five minutes, meaning Marella can only tie with a win.

Marella tries a sunset flip and Nemeth finally goes down, meaning they can realize that a sunset flip means nothing in this match. Nemeth sends him outside, where Marella goes over to the celebrities from earlier. The celebrities get in an argument of their own, allowing Marella to go for the flag.

That doesn’t work either so Nemeth poses a lot and crotches himself in the corner. Hannifan: “His Ryan Nemeths just got scrambled.” Marella loads up the Cobra but walks into a superkick. Nemeth goes for the flag but Rougeau gives Marella the shock stick to cut him off. The Cobra hits Nemeth (Rehwoldt: “COBRAS ARE NOT EVEN NATIVE TO CANADA’S ECOSYSTEM!”) and Marella gets the flag to win at 9:46.

Rating: D+. If nothing else, points for the line about cobras at the end but my goodness they could only do so much with this one. You need to have Marella win to tie things up here and the gimmick let him beat Nemeth without beating Nemeth. Other than that though, another lame match where it felt like they forgot the rules a few times in between.

USA – 5
Canada – 5

That means it’s a tie so this match will continue under sudden death rules. How in the world do you have a SUDDEN DEATH FLAG match? As we ponder that, cue the System, complete with people in Donald Trump and Mark Carney masks/costumes. Anyway the System says they were behind the attacks because they hate America and Canada. They jump Trump/Carney so here are Matt Hardy, Tommy Dreamer, Jody Threat and Cody Deaner for the save. Hardy says it’s time for the countries to unite to take out the System. Well of course it is.

The System vs. Matt Hardy/Cody Deaner/Santino Marella/Tommy Dreamer/Jody Threat

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Deaner beating on JDC as we officially get going. Moose cuts that off but gets sent into the corner to crush JDC. Deaner works on Moose’s arm and it’s off to Hardy for the same. Marella comes off the top…er, middle, rope to hit Moose’s arm, followed by Threat doing the same. Dreamer goes up top (weight jokes abound) for an ax handle to said arm as Rehwoldt wants a Rocky to Moose’s Bullwinkle for all of the things that are being Dudley Do-Wronged.

Moose finally goes to the eye to escape and brings Myers in so the villains can start taking turns on Deaner. Even Alisha gets in a chop, which just wakes Deaner up. The comeback is quickly cut off and Moose rakes Deaner’s back to bring up the pain. That’s broken up and it’s back to Hardy to ram Eddie into the corner over and over. Moose and Alisha get the same treatment as everything breaks down again. JDC is left alone for the shots to the head, setting up the Cobra and a Twist Of Fate for the pin at 8:44.

Rating: C-. And that’s how it ends, with some big deal about coming together to fight a common enemy. That’s a fine way to go, but it’s kind of cut off when commentary spent the entire show mocking Canada. As usual, beating the System is fine and mocking Dreamer’s weight is a tried and true method of operations in wrestling, but sweet goodness this was a lame way to wrap it up.

A bunch of wrestlers come out to celebrate but hang on because this show will not end. A big brawl breaks out including a masked man apparently named Captain Canada is in the middle of everything. The fighting just continues to end the show, with Hannifan promising that the Border Brawl will continue FOREVER.

Overall Rating: D. Where do I even begin? This was something out of the old One Night Only shows where it felt like they needed some random gimmick to tie the show together and put all of no thought into it. In this case though, you had the lack of anything resembling an overly good match, a draw in the whole contest, a big brawl that undermined the entire point of the main event to end the show. And that’s before you get to the most random BRUTUS BEEFCAKE cameo I can imagine.

Terribly weird show here, and I wonder how much TNA had to do with putting it together. TNA is better than this and I would hope this is a one off, because it was more boring than insane and that is not a good thing. Maybe it was something of a cross promotional deal where TNA just handled the talent, because otherwise, I’m somewhat scared for the future of the promotion.

Results
Sami Callihan b. William Trudeau – Stunner
Courtney Rush b. Victoria Crawford – Spear
The System b. Channing Decker/Jessie Bieber – Spear to Decker
Tommy Dreamer b. Champagne Singh – Death Valley Driver through a table
Frankie Kazarian b. Cody Deaner – Rollup
Northern Armory b. The System – Rollup to Edwards
Vipress b. Jody Threat – Rollup with trunks
Eric Young b. Matt Hardy – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Santino Marella b. Nic Nemeth – Marella grabbed the flag
Matt Hardy/Cody Deaner/Santino Marella/Tommy Dreamer/Jody Threat b. The System – Twist of Fate to JDC

 

 

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New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

So here it is. This right here is considered the show that is the be all and end all of Russo’s insanity. This show is so full of ridiculousness and twists and turns and swerves that you need a scorecard to keep up with it. The main event is a rematch of Jarrett vs. Booker. We also have an ROTC (Rip off the Camouflage), a Canadian Rules match and Judy Bagwell on a Forklift. Let’s get this over with.

The opening video is about Jarrett vs. Booker and Booker becoming more and more like the Rock by the week. Goldberg is a heel here too and is in a three way with Steiner and Nash. Madden says it’s going to be a trainwreck and he’s right.

Some “fans” say who they think will win the triple threat. No mention of the main event at all from them.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

The Filthy Animals (Disco, Mysterio, Konnan, Juvy and Tygress) want to referee the tag title match, which already has 8 people in it. They stole the belts and will give them back in exchange for a title shot TOMORROW night on Nitro. Keep that in mind.

Great Muta vs. Ernest Miller

Yeah because this is worth paying to see. Muta of course has generic Asian music. The Filthy Animals guarantee Cat will win this which means interference of course. We’ve had interference in the first match already so why not go two for two? Muta works on the arm while Tony talks about how this isn’t about wrestling but about winning. I wonder how much of that line was real and how much was scripted.

Muta was one of those guys that came back every now and then and we were supposed to be impressed for no apparent reason. He never had a storyline of note other than he’s Great Muta so you should like him. And here comes Tygress for no apparent reason. Cat does nothing but kick and is dominating Muta. The far more talented guy gets an ankle hold and takes over.

The Moonsault misses though and Cat takes the mist. Tygress gets a chair shot to Muta for two. Fans are dead for this mind you. Cat kicks Muta a lot and then a spin kick ends it. This was totally pointless.

Rating: D. Tygress looked good. That’s about all this has going for it otherwise. Cat was a guy that they wanted to make into something but I have no idea why. Muta was a special attraction so they have him go down like this. It makes perfect sense right? This was just a way to kill time and it was just bad.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Kanyon

Yep it’s Judy Bagwell on a pole. Kanyon is still imitating DDP here which must make Madden cringe. Bagwell isn’t even on a pole but rather a forklift. Do you win by pin I suppose? Kanyon is POSITIVELY Kanyon here (Page’s book was Positively Page) and if he wins then Judy has to be his Kimberly. The fans chant USA in Canada. I guess WCW managed to lower intelligences that fast.

There isn’t a pole that they could get to hold up Judy. They start by fighting next to the forklift and we’re already in the audience. I don’t think the match has actually started yet. Kanyon does his usual good stuff as no one cares about this. Seriously there’s a woman on a forklift match. I can’t believe I’m watching this. Kanyon gets the turnbuckle pad off and the referee is just fine with it.

Kanyon could do some solid stuff in the ring if nothing else. He really was innovative. Madden gets on DDP of course. Does he owe Madden money or something? Kanyon works on the neck of Bagwell which was broken like a year ago. Bagwell gets a hot shot onto the exposed buckle for two. Kanyon Kutter gets two and here comes the real DDP…never mind it’s David Arquette.

He hits Bagwell in the back with a construction hat for two. Buff hits a double Blockbuster, which is a front flip neckbreaker off the middle rope on both guys, with Arquette just getting smashed in the face by a forearm instead of a neckbreaker. This ends it and Judy is saved off the forklift. Oh and this is sports entertainment, not wrestling. Kanyon hits the Kutter on Arquette after the match, getting cheered despite being a heel.

Rating: D+. As idiotic as this was, the wrestling was watchable I suppose. At this point you couldn’t treat WCW as realistic from a wrestling standpoint so this was about as good as the midcard stuff would get. For the rating I’m factoring out the whole insanity because it meant nothing anyway. I can’t believe they brought Arquette back AGAIN. This was somehow watchable and I don’t know why.

Lance Storm is here, getting a huge limo to bring him.

Goldberg might not be here because of a motorcycle accident. You can start writing the swerve now.

Tag Titles: Misfits and Action vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Perfect Event vs. Kronik

The Filthy Animals are all referees here so we have four referees and 8 wrestlers, plus Konnan on commentary. Rey and Juvy have the tag title belts here. Perfect Event is Stasiak and Palumbo. Kronik are the actual champions coming into this. Something tells me this is going to be horrible. MIA is Hugh Morrus and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). Disco grabs a mic and says he’s the in ring referee and the other guys and Tygress are enforces. If they touch Disco or any of the others they’ll be suspended I guess.

The referees were added like 30 minutes ago so it’s not like this was advertised. I think I know why. One fall to a finish here. Adams and Palumbo start us off. Konnan at least is funny. Stasiak goes to the floor and the “referees” beat him up. Leroux vs. Jimdrak at the moment as Konnan makes incest jokes. The wrestling is ok but at the same time there are FAR too many people in there at once. The fans chant ECW for some reason.

O’Haire kicks the heck out of Clark’s head and it looks great. He was talented for sure. The referees do Bronco Busters on Morrus. End this NOW. This match is such a joke that it’s painful to watch. What’s annoying is that if you made this a regular tag match it could have been pretty decent. Disco counts slowly for Cajun. He does the same for Stasiak. It’s weird to think that three of these guys worked for WrestleZone for awhile.

Everybody, including the referees beat up on Morrus. Stasiak hits a NICE jumping back elbow. This is just a total mess again as we get a Tommy Young reference. Sean hits a PERFECT Swanton. Palumbo is set in High Time but Muta and Vampiro run out to give us FOURTEEN PEOPLE in this thing.

Apparently everyone else got bored as it’s just Kronik and Palumbo in the ring. Disco won’t count the three off a pumphandle slam. Chavo Guerrero runs down and steals the referee’s shirt and counts the pin as the sixteenth person involved in this match (8 wrestlers, 5 filthy animals, Chavo, Vampiro, Muta). Konnan is ticked that they have to fight Kronik the next night.

Rating: F. A tournament has 16 people, not a single match. I don’t think anything else needs to be said here. Also, why did Chavo count the pin for Kronik when members of his own stable are in this match?

Jarrett, in a lime green shirt, says he wants to know if Pamela Paulshock (freaking HOT) is there because Gene is worn out from last night. This was pointless.

Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman

This is a strap match. Naturally we talk about the three way dance off the Jarrett interview. Torrie is with Shane here so I’d bet on a swerve. Yes Shane Douglas was getting pushed in 2000. There was allegedly a Kidman/Torrie sex tape which set this up. This is just pinfall so there’s some sanity here. Shane had issues with performance if you get what I mean. Torrie turned on Kidman at BATB, the previous PPV.

Neither guy is in wrestling attire here and why should they be? This isn’t wrestling according to Tony so that explains everything. The guys try to insinuate Torrie is fat. They can’t even get basic vision right. Torrie keeps distracting Kidman and it I can’t say I blame him. She’s the most interesting thing going on in this. Shane does a very dangerous move and with Kidman on his stomach he gets a running start and grabs Kidman’s head and snaps his neck back. Freaking OW man.

We’re in a strap match and Shane is working on the arm. Kidman hits a nice rana and the strap is completely pointless here. The strap is WAY too long and they really can’t do that much. Shane gets his balls strapped. Torrie blasts Shane in the head with her shoe for a two. Is there a point to foreign objects if they don’t get a pin? Torrie just walks into the ring to turn over a small package which means nothing. Kidman hits an Unprettier for the pin.

Torrie gets a spanking post match. Shane hangs Kidman for it and Vito makes the save. Now why couldn’t they get fired for this like Danielson did? Reno comes down and beats down Vito. He never meant much but I think they wound up being partners. Vito beats him up.

Rating: F+. Not bad I guess, but for a strap match this was horrible. If this had been a regular match it would have been ok but when you throw something like this in for the sake of having a stipulation it doesn’t work at all. This is one of those instances and the hanging thing is just stupid to top it off.

Booker is here, an hour and 15 minutes into the show. Jarrett jumps him and slams his knee in the car door a bunch of times. His knee was already hurt.

Major Guns vs. Ms. Hancock

This is the ROTC match. Oh and there’s a mud pit. Guns’ music starts when she’s already in the ring. Stacey in a one piece camouflage dress with her hair pulled back…WOW. She was 20 at this point so brand new. They do some painfully bad stuff here and Guns kicks her in the stomach. Remember that. In a Rip off the Camouflage match, there are covers. Guns gets her top ripped off and Stacey (It’s Stacey Keibler in case that wasn’t sinking in. She’s Ms. Hancock) gets two.

This is mainly about how many upskirt shots can we get. Stacey gets her shorts ripped off and has more camo underneath it. Stacey shakes her hips and hits a horrible cross body from the middle rope. She does a nice nip up but gets kicked in the stomach again. The selling of these people is a far cry from Willy Lowman. Stacey misses another cross body and holds her stomach.

Guns gets her shorts ripped off to reveal more camouflage. Same thing happens to Stacey’s top. And they’re in the mud. Doesn’t that make it harder to see? Stacey starts holding her stomach and gets pinned. David Flair, Stacey’s fiancé, runs out and is worried about her. We get a stretcher and you can see it from here.

Rating: F. Yeah the girls were hot. The ending makes this all the stupider, and we’ll get to that in a bit. This was a freaking joke. When Debra is having better “matches” than you are, there’s a big problem.

The Dark Carnival (Vampiro, Muta and the KISS Demon) say they’ll finish Sting tonight.

Tony “breaks character” and insists this isn’t part of the show and is completely real. Of course they have a camera on her which would likely be a violation of privacy rights of some sort. And yes, they imply she was pregnant like I was afraid of. Yeah, I’m sure that THIS shoot is real among all the other fake shoots.

The Demon vs. Sting

I believe I ran through the Demon character last time, but in short he was supposed to be part of a cross-promotional thing with KISS and that went nowhere so they just made him into the Demon instead of the KISS Demon. Sting repels from the ceiling and is back on PPV, despite being on the previous PPV. Quick brawl in the aisle, quick brawl around ring side, Stinger Splash and Death Drop ends this in less than a minute.

Vampiro and Muta come out to beat up Sting and try to hang him. Two hangings in one night. That’s not bad. Kronik makes the save and they beat the Dark Carnival in the ring as the fans boo the heck out of this. Sting just leaves without even thanking the saviors. Brian Adams (Crush) gets on the mic and challenges Muta and Vampiro to a tag title match while being the champions. Just hand the Carnival guys the belts now.

Booker gets his knee looked at and throws the camera out.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Let’s see here. This is in Canada so Storm is the hero. He’s the US, Hardcore and Cruiserweight Champion at this point but would give away two of them soon. Now the cool entrance is about the end of the cool aspects of this match. The US Title is the Canadian Title, the Hardcore Title is the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title (Get it?) and the 100kg and Under Title.

Storm cuts a short promo and might as well be the second coming. Both of these guys left ECW earlier this year. Storm got this, Awesome got the gimmick of That 70s Guy and the Fat Chick Thriller and never won a title in WCW. Storm was just absolutely awesome at this point and this is his big reward for it.

Part of the gimmick Storm had his own rule book and had his own rules. He invokes one of them and says there’s going to be a special referee. We immediately eliminate the chance of it being Bret Hart since a HUGE Bret chant breaks out. It’s Jacques Rougeau, as in The Mountie. We get the Canadian National Anthem and Storm could more or less murder a thousand babies and still get cheered at this point.

There’s a Juggalo here for no apparent reason. Rougeau is the outside referee and there are two titles held up. Pay no attention to whatever the other one is as it’s not mentioned. Awesome dominates early on, hitting a leg drop as a tribute to his far more famous uncle, Hulk Hogan (How many of you knew that one? Awesome’s aunt is married to Hogan’s brother so they’re like step uncle and step nephew or whatever but screw all the technicalities).

We hit the floor and it’s table time. Well they are from ECW to be fair. Madden: “This isn’t wrestling!” Tony: “Of course it’s not!” I still want to know how much annoyance there was in Tony’s statement there. Awesome goes up top and just slips off. Well it happens to everyone I guess. Awesome hits a SWEET Liger Bomb to more or less end Storm.

Then I’m not sure what happens as there’s a three count but Storm gets his arm up at more or less the exact same time. I’m legit not sure if Storm was supposed to kick out there and just didn’t get up in time or if this was part of the upcoming angle. Given the idiocy of this show and the skill of Storm, we’ll say it was intentional. Johnson raises Awesome’s hand to have the crowd on the verge of rioting.

HOWEVER, according to Canadian Rules, you have to get a 5 count to win a title. Awesome gets an Alabama Slam for three and then hooks a Dragon Sleeper. Storm taps out to lose the title again. Oh you know what’s coming. This time it’s you can’t win by submission. Storm gets two off a suplex as we start one more time. The crowd has gone from white hot to DEAD by the way as they’ve seen Storm get pinned and tap in like 6 minutes.

Awesome gets a five count off a Frog Splash and I can’t believe what I’m watching. Storm has a ten count to get up after the original five count. So the US Champion has now lost three times in about ten minutes perfectly clean and they’ve killed one of the hottest crowds I can remember in WCW’s history. The table is in the ring and Awesome clearly slips on the same corner (maybe they should be cleaned guys?) and they both crash through a table.

Rougeau says first man up gets the title and he punches Awesome in the jaw to make sure Storm looks inept. The crowd pops fairly well and just to absolutely cap off the idiocy, BRET HART IS HERE. You know, the guy the crowd was BEGGING for? So let me get this straight.

WCW was too STUPID to get that in Canada, where Bret is pretty much the biggest athlete that isn’t a hockey player in the history of the country (apparently there was a poll done in 2004 where the Greatest Canadians, as in any Canadian ever and not just athletes were ranked. Bret was #39) and where they had him under contract, that instead of using HIM, they paid the Mountie to come in and get the paycheck for the refereeing job while the fans chanted for BRET. This company deserved to go out of business. The Canadians all hug.

Rating: F-. Seriously, was this supposed to be good or something? Am I supposed to be entertained here? I know Russo doesn’t like titles, but if you’re going to kill them at least do it in America where you go more than once. This was just completely idiotic and one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Nash says he expected Goldberg to not be here. And yes, another shoot angle is upon us.

Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.

Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.

Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.

Booker says his catchphrase.

We recap Nash vs. Steiner vs. Goldberg. Goldberg and Nash are together. Well they were at the PPV. They’ve since split up since then.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash

This is for the #1 contender spot. They keep using the term go over. Oh dear. There’s no Goldberg to start us off and I’ll explain later on. They keep dropping hints about Steiner won’t do the planned finish and all that nonsense. More shoot comments from the guys. Steiner not being professional? Say it isn’t so! Goldberg’s music plays twice and he isn’t here.

We start one on one and Tony suggest we watch this match. Sadly, that might drive up viewership. And here’s Goldberg with his ribs taped up. He beats on Nash and gets blasted in the back of the head by Steiner. Nash stays on the floor and Goldberg beats up Steiner. Nash gets up and trips over the top rope. This has stopped being funny a LONG time ago so that gets nothing out of me.

Hudson: “Starrcade 98. Nash gets on the booking committee two weeks before the show. He goes over.” I hate this company at times. Not even Heyman got this stupid. In a moment that does make me laugh, Steiner covers Nash and yells at the referee to count and when he’s told it’s just two, he snaps off YOU SUCK to the referee. That’s just funny. Nash stands tall for a bit and the fans aren’t sure if this is good or not.

The straps go down, Nash sets Goldberg for the powerbomb, he shoves him off, Nash calls him a very bad name, Goldberg walks out, Russo meets Goldberg in the aisle, Goldberg asks what the heck are you going to do about it and he leaves. And here we go. The commentators start talking about how this wasn’t the planned finish and how Nash was professional like always and that Steiner and Nash will have to plan a new finish.

Tony suggests they might have to, and I wish I was making this up, IMPROVISE. Yes, Tony Schiavone has just admitted on international TV that every single match that he has hyped over the years as being this big showdown has had a planned ending that everyone in the match knew about beforehand.

Where in the world do I start?

Now for those of you in the 99% of the fans that have no clue what the idea was here, in Goldberg’s last match which had been 13 days earlier on Nitro, he lost to Steiner. The idea here is that Goldberg, as in the “real guy” and not the character (as in the real guy playing the character Goldberg, not the REAL Goldberg. In other words, we have Bill Goldberg playing Bill Goldberg playing a wrestler. Does that make sense?), thought it would be detrimental to his character to lose twice in a row so he’s walking out of the match for what would likely be called creative differences.

Basically, Vince Russo just tried to kill kayfabe. Forever in wrestling, the idea has been everyone knows it’s fake but you’re not supposed to tell anyone. In the book The Death of WCW (well worth checking out if this kind of stuff interests you), one of the authors puts it something like this (paraphrased): it’s like going to a movie. You know that nothing on the screen is real, but you get sucked into it if it’s good. For some reason, Russo thought that it was a GREAT idea to have everyone in the movie acknowledge that they’re in a movie. See what’s going on here?

Naturally, just like Bash at the Beach, this BOMBED. Why did it bomb you ask? Two reasons. First of all, NO ONE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON. Second, even fewer people cared about it. They were told they were going to see Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Steiner. Ok so not a lot of people really wanted to see it, but that was the advertised match.

What Russo never got was that there were actually people out there that WANTED TO WATCH WRESTLING. Would the match have been good? Not likely. Would many people have bought the PPV to see it? Not likely. But the thing is, the ones that DID pay to see it got ripped off because they didn’t get what they paid to see.

This is why I get annoyed when PPV matches are put on TV like the next week after a PPV: there were fans out there that paid to see a match, hence the term PAY per VIEW. You want to see this match? Give us the price we ask and you can see it. You give them the money, you see the match and the people that didn’t pay don’t get to see it.

Then it’s aired on free TV. It’s a massive SCREW YOU to the people that bought the show. If I buy a PPV to see Cena vs. Orton and then the next night Cena vs. Orton is on Raw, why should I pay for the next PPV? I got to see the main event for free the next day. Why should I pay for some I can get for free if I wait a little bit?

That’s what Russo kept doing: screwing the fans over and they just gave up. The few fans WCW actually had just stopped watching and Russo blamed them for not getting what he was doing. I had to use a book to get a lot of what was really going on here, so apparently I’m too stupid to get it too.

Oh yeah we have a match to finish here. Midajah has come down to low blow Nash, which at least makes sense given that Nash beat her up recently. Nash uses a DDT of all things. Hokey smoke. We’re reminded that this is all on the fly. Nash hits the big boot and the powerbomb as we’re told about how professional Steiner was there. Get me away from this. Goldberg would be back the next night of course.

Rating: N/A. There isn’t a rating low enough for this and what Russo just HAD to do so I won’t try to give it one. This would have been damaging to pro wrestling if anyone had actually watched this show.

Tony hypes up the world tag team title match as we go to a video on Jarrett vs. Booker.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

This actually has the potential to be good, which is what was most frustrating about WCW at this time: given what they had, they could have been a decent show most of the time. Madden says Booker needs to take a walk down Slap Nuts Boulevard. Well at least they’re not hiding the ripping off anymore. Hudson forgets the number of title runs Jarrett has had, going from 3 to 4 while he’s still in the aisle.

And remember: this match is REAL, not scripted like the previous one. Yeah we’re just supposed to forget that whole thing. Tony suggests that Booker go for a quick win. I guess he wants to get out of here too. Booker’s knee which was bad coming into the show and injured earlier, seems just fine here. Ok he started limping a bit. That’s acceptable.

Booker crotches him on the post twice but misses the Missile Dropkick to let Jarrett take over. Now did he really miss or was that scripted? Hudson suggests it’s against the rules to go for the bad knee. Jarrett goes after the knee and cracks it with a chair. They more or less had gotten rid of DQs at this point. Jarrett switches legs which is bearable I guess as it’s still hurting Booker.

This is a very basically booked match and it’s working very well. Ok maybe very well is a stretch but it’s a good match. What a shock: let two talented guys have an uninterrupted match with a simple storyline like the champion has a bad leg and it’s good. The Axe Kick hits and down goes the referee. Jarrett goes for the guitar but Booker goes for the side kick. They meet in the middle and the guitar slams over his knee.

The figure four goes on (TO THE CORRECT LEG TOO!) and Booker is in trouble. The referee just doesn’t see the pieces of the guitar all over the ring I guess. After being in the hold over a minute and a half he gets the bottom rope and my goodness we’re having an entertaining match! The referee goes down again and Booker hits the Book End through a table. By the I mean he more or less chokeslams him and doesn’t go down with him but the thought is there.

Jarrett gets a low blow and down goes the second referee to a chair shot. Booker takes the Stroke onto the open chair. It’s a third referee that has no problem with what’s been going on or maybe he wasn’t watching like most people. Booker gets what was supposed to be a swinging neckbreaker on the chair but it’s more like a Twist of Fate. Booker’s knee is better apparently and hits the Book End to win it. The fans throw garbage into the ring and I can’t blame them a bit.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t terrible I guess. This was a pretty decent main event match but it just doesn’t have a big spark to it at all. It’s easily the second best match tonight though after the good opener, but this wasn’t anything great. The problem these guys had was that the crowd would have been unimpressed by Flair vs. Steamboat at this point. It may not be fair but it’s reality and while the match was good it wasn’t well received. Still certainly watchable though.

Overall Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? There are two decent matches on here. Other than that, this show is an abomination. See, today we have the benefit of time to look back on this. Put yourself in the place of fans from back then. This was the monthly PPV offering from one of the major PPV companies. You had to pay 30 dollars to see this show.

Can you imagine if TNA or WWE aired something like this today? The buyrates and ratings fell through the floor around this time. The fans simply did not want to see what WCW was offering, but WCW kept right on doing it, which is why they’re not around today. Granted Rock vs. HHH having the feud of a lifetime and Taker and Austin both returning didn’t help them that much. Anyway, this is the epitome of Russo’s awfulness, but it’s worth watching for the comedy value as long as you don’t take it seriously.

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