Monday Night Raw
Date: August 28, 2006
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re well on the way to Unforgiven and last week John Cena threw Edge into the rather contaminated water. Odds are that is going to set up something for the pay per view, which is in Edge’s hometown of Toronto this time around. Other than that, we’ll be seeing more of the McMahons vs. DX because eight months isn’t enough of that feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This was on the Sci Fi Channel for a special edition.

We open with a recap of DX tormenting Vince McMahon over and over.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane says DX has gone too far this time because they have endangered his father’s sanity. After last week, Vince McMahon just laid on the couch saying DX over and over. Therefore, Shane has recommended that Vince take the night off so he is in charge. That’s why tonight, DX is going to be in tag team action for the first time since their reunion and they will find out who they are facing later.

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge demanding that Shane do something about John Cena. We see a clip of Cena throwing Edge into the Long Island Sound last week so Edge wants Cena fired tonight. Cue Cena, who says that if he is fired, the last thing Edge will remember is being thrown in the water. That’s not a happy ending and…..yeah you can imagine the jokes on that one.

Edge wants Cena gone, so Cena has an offer. He pulls out a three year Smackdown contract and all it is going to take is Edge beating him in one more title match. Edge agrees, but he gets to pick where the match takes place and what kind of a match it is. That’s fine with Cena, who goes to leave, but Shane says Cena has a match first. That’s cool with Cena too, so here’s his opponent.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

This is Masters’ first match back in about three months and he looks a bit leaner. We’re joined in progress with Cena suplexing him for two and then suplexing him for two. Masters nails a running clothesline and starts hammering away, followed by a powerslam for two of his own. We hit the reverse chinlock but Cena is back up with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The FU is countered though and Masters grabs a reverse DDT. The Masterlock is countered into the STFU but here’s Edge with a chair to Cena for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the bigger problem is we didn’t see Masters all year and I don’t think I realized he was gone. Masters isn’t someone who has made any kind of an impact and it didn’t exactly showcase him well here. The match wasn’t going to matter in the first place, but Masters’ future isn’t exactly looking bright.

Post match Edge hits Cena with a ladder and throws him through a table in the corner. That’s because at Unforgiven, it’s a TLC match for the title.

Charlie Haas/Viscera and Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch offer their services to Shane against DX but he has it covered. With the teams gone, Shane calls Vince, who is having a great time at the hotel suite. Room service arrives…..and it’s a bunch of roosters, because this joke is continuing and DX has a chicken farm when they’re out of the ring.

Carlito is with Trish Stratus and wants to know when she is going to tell him she’s retiring at Unforgiven. She isn’t happy with Lita apparently leaking the story but he calms her down and kisses her. Cue Randy Orton to jump Carlito and knocks Trish down in the process.

We look at Umaga putting Kane on the shelf.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Back To School paddle on a pole match so they’re schoolgirls this week. They fight over going for the paddle as Lawler is having all the fun you would expect. Candice rips off her top and Torrie rips off her skirt but the Stink Face is broken up with a bite. Candice grabs the paddle to win.

Spanking ensues post match.

This Week In Wrestling History: the main event Summerslam 1992. What a pop on that pin.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title after Kane was hurt last week. Orton jumps him at the bell and hammers away in the corner but Jeff does the same. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Jeff hits a springboard corkscrew dive. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock and sending Orton outside for a suicide dive.

Back in and a belly to back suplex drops Orton to put both of them down, setting up the legdrop between Orton’s legs. The middle rope dropkick gives Jeff two (JR: “This referee has been slower than government aid to New Orleans.”) but Orton is back with the backbreaker. Hardy goes up but gets dropkicked out of the air. A neckbreaker drops Orton again though he’s fine enough to roll away before the Swanton. Cue Carlito to send Orton back in and spit the apple in his eye, setting up the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C. Hardy winning the title shot makes sense as you need to establish him as a big deal again. Carlito vs. Orton isn’t exactly thrilling, though is anything involving Carlito all that interesting? Hardy and Orton always have good chemistry so the match being fine was hardly a surprise.

Shane McMahon and the cops come in to see DX with Shane ordering them to stop the pranks. HHH makes choking the chicken jokes and points out various horrible things Vince has done over the years (with Shane giving a nod to each because they are some rather awful moments). One of these is having an I Quit match with his daughter before she married a man with the world’s largest….and let’s cut that off for a McMahon DVD plug.

Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Eugene vs. Spirit Squad

The Squad is defending and the Highlanders are on commentary. Eugene atomic drops Mikey to the floor to start, where the Squad gets into a fight with the Highlanders. That’s enough for the rest of the Squad and the Highlanders to be ejected but the remaining Squad is fine enough to suplex Eugene. Some stomping in the corner doesn’t last long as Eugene fights up and brings in Duggan to clean house. Mikey sends him into the exposed buckle though (because the buckle was exposed somewhere in there) and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? The Highlanders are going to be fine for some one off challengers but that’s all they were ever going to be. It’s not like Eugene and Duggan were serious threats to the titles here so getting them in and out was the right way to go when the champs aren’t exactly fascinating in the first place.

Post match here’s Umaga (JR: “We might have a Katrina like tragedy here!”) to lay out Eugene and Duggan. Armando Alejandro Estrada laughs at Kane’s injury from last week.

We look at Mick Foley being humiliated and fired last week.

Here are Johnny Nitro and Melina for a press conference. They’re here to talk about Melina turning on Foley last week and….what else did you expect her to do? Look at who she is standing next to. Nitro says everyone wants to be him for one night because he goes home, gets freaky with Melina, and cuddles his Intercontinental Title. That kills Mick Foley, because he wants to do what Nitro does every night.

The last person that Melina would ever associate with is a quitter like Foley. Melina talks about how Foley wanted to be her friend, but she knows better than that. To make it clear, she NEVER let Foley touch her. Ugh, he drives a minivan! There is no way she would ever leave Nitro for a smelly one eared Muppet like Foley! Nitro tells Foley to enjoy his 19^th retirement and write his blog while he does things Foley never could do. No further questions. It’s nice that they explained Melina’s side, but the story still feels weird.

JR and King talk about Kurt Angle’s release, which felt like quite the surprise.

Post break, JR and King talk about Lita leaking the news that Trish Stratus was leaving after Unforgiven. We see the Trish/Carlito/Randy Orton segment from earlier.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending after taking the title from James two weeks ago. JR: “Mickie James makes Lindsay Lohan look somewhat sane.” They go to the floor to start with Lita ramming her into the apron and taking it back inside to bend the knee around the rope. An enziguri gives Mickie two and a bridging northern lights gets the same. Lita goes for the title but gets kicked away, allowing Mickie to get two more off a rollup. With nothing else working, Lita grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: D. This was nothing as Lita wasn’t exactly on fire in the ring at this point. The match didn’t get any time and it was about half spent on rollups, including the finish. The deal with Lita leaking Trish’s retirement should tell you where things are going but this wasn’t quite the best way to make Lita look more interesting.

We look back at Edge attacking John Cena.

D-Generation X vs. ???

After DX’s signature material and a joke about Vince McMahon and a chicken, Shane comes out to introduce the opponents.

D-Generation X vs. Mr. Kennedy/William Regal/Finlay

Joined in progress with Shawn fighting out of Regal’s chinlock but getting sent to the floor for a clothesline from Finlay. Cue the Leprechaun, and JBL being gone takes so much away from the moment. Back in and the villains take turns stomping away, followed by Finlay’s clothesline giving Regal two. Shawn manages to send Finlay shoulder first into the post though and the hot tag bring in HHH to clean house. Kennedy knocks HHH down but misses the Swanton, allowing DX to put Kennedy on the floor. Regal hits Finlay in the face with a chair by mistake and the Pedigree is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here and that’s all it needed to be, as DX continues to run through everyone save for the McMahons themselves. The ending wasn’t clean so it isn’t like it hurts Regal and Finlay in any serious way. The McMahons aren’t going to be done with them yet so this was a step towards a bigger match in the future.

Post match Shane sends out the Big Show and the other villains get up to beat DX down. Cue Vince McMahon with a lead pipe to bust HHH open. Shawn gets the same and Vince chokes with a cable cord. Vince grabs the mic and says they’re getting back in the ring with DX again. This time though, the Big Show is joining them inside the Cell. Maniacal glaring and a lot of bleeding end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much on this show itself, but they set up a lot of things for the future and that is one of the best things that could be done. Unforgiven is coming up in just a few weeks and they go the two big matches set up tonight. That’s a nice way to build up Unforgiven in a hurry and if they can put together a few more matches that come close to that level, the show could wind up going very well.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,401
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are back to normal this week as HHH is back from the hospital after Stephanie McMahon gave birth. We’re on the road to Summerslam with about three weeks left and that means it’s time to start setting up some of the card. You can probably guess some of it from here but we still need some official announcements. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Shane McMahon to open things up. Vince says you can’t get the smiles off of their faces because his baby girl had a baby girl. His granddaughter is already more wealthy than anyone here and the celebration will keep going through Summerslam. That’s because the two of them will be facing D-Generation X at Summerslam. DX’s music starts….and then shuts off almost immediately. Shane mentions Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga tonight….and the music starts again, only to cut off even faster.

Then it plays for real as DX comes out, with Shawn giving Vince and Shane some Jewish greetings. HHH: “Uh, we’re not Jewish.” With that out of the way, Shawn talks about HHH being in the hospital room with Stephanie last week and he has the entire McMahon family photo album. First up is the first known photo of Vince, but please forgive the photography because these pre-Civil War photos don’t hold up well. It’s baby Vince (with the adult face) and an I HEART ROOSTERS shirt.

Shane’s first photo features a silver spoon in his mouth, with Shawn saying Shane jumped on the doctor’s table and started dancing with his umbilical cord. There’s one more, and that is of course a photo of the newest member of the McMahon Family. It’s HHH, with Shawn not being able to put his finger on who it is. Shane: “At Summerslam, we’re going to be changing your diapers.” HHH: “Did you just say you’re going to change our diapers?” HHH has some advice for Vince’s granddaughter’s nutritional health: SUCK IT.

We hear from the Diva Search girls, as they say who they want to send home. They’re going one at a time throughout the night, because we’re just that lucky.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Carlito breaks up Nitro’s rather lengthy entrance but Benjamin takes the two of them down and we go to an early break. Back with Nitro missing a running shooting star press, allowing Carlito to sunset flip Benjamin for two. Nitro gets knocked down so Carlito hammers away on Benjamin. There’s a hurricanrana to send Benjamin outside but he comes back in with a DDT to Carlito. Melina puts the foot on the ropes for the save so Shelton yells at her, allowing Nitro to roll Carlito up with tights to retain.

Rating: C. The action was good while it lasted but they only had so much time given the commercial. Nitro escaping with the title works well enough as Melina is a great way to keep the title on him. Carlito looked fired up here too, which isn’t something you get to see all that often.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He has had a big career, and that includes his own reality show: Orton Knows Best. Orton brings out the rest of the cast: Nick, Brooke, Linda and Hulk himself, all of whom are a bit over the top with the parodies. Nick wants to be a wrestler like his old man, so Orton says he’ll have to get used to this, with Orton sending him to the floor.

Orton hits on Brooke so Hulk hits the catchphrases and posing. Orton knows he’s the over protective father and says he can kiss his career goodbye at Summerslam. For now though, he has another kiss in mind and kisses Brooke. The RKO lays Hulk out but Orton isn’t done, as he heads to the floor to slap Jerry Lawler for helping Hogan last week.

Armando Alejandro Estrada offers Vince and Shane a congratulatory cigar and has more boxes in his car. He’s off to get them, with Vince and Shane approving.

Lawler isn’t happy with what Orton did and wants to face him next week in Memphis, Tennessee. Just don’t expect a wrestling match.

Trish Stratus/Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James/Victoria

Torrie Wilson is guest referee. Victoria knocks Candice down to start but Candice cranks on her arm. That just earns her a knee to the face as JR talks about fishing. Mickie comes in for an exchange of forearms and a lot of shouting as Lawler is too busy talking about Orton to make horrible comments. Victoria gets crotched on top and the hot tag brings in Trish to clean house. A kick to the chest sends Victoria to the floor and Trish powerbombs Mickie to counter a hurricanrana out of the corner. Stratusfaction hits Mickie and Candice dropkicks Victoria to the floor as Trish gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Run of the mill women’s tag here with Torrie only there for the sake of promoting her appearance in FHM. It was rather striking how much easier this was to watch without Lawler’s usual antics though and that’s a rather nice change of pace. Not their worst effort either, with some of the better in-ring women out there this time.

Mick Foley congratulates Johnny Nitro and Melina on their win. Foley is a little anxious about being on the show for the first time in six weeks, so he asks Melina to come to the ring with him.

Melina introduces Foley, who says he is going to give the fans what they want: Foley and Ric Flair in the ring tonight…..going after the Tag Team Titles! Ok so that’s ridiculous, but they do have some similarities. They both like to take young wrestlers under their wing. Flair did it with Randy Orton in Evolution and Foley did the same thing with Melina. They both have famous friends too. Flair is a personal friend of the President of the United States while Foley is a personal friend of adult film star Christy Canyon. One of their friends made it to the top by screwing a lot of people, and the other is in adult films.

Foley has been on the front page of USA Today twice and has been interviewed by Katie Couric twice. Flair makes headlines for road rage incidents. Cue Flair, who says Foley needs to keep his mouth shut. Flair says the two of them are ready to go and this isn’t about Foley’s book. They’re booing Alex Rodriguez in New York and the people here are booing Foley because he’s lazy. Foley has been talking about the “imaginary bada****” that Flair has faced, sending Flair into a rant about Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen and Harley Race, who would walk over Foley on their way to the bathroom.

Flair wants Foley with thumbtacks, ladders and barbed wire because he wants Foley’s blood. Flair rolls across the ring and says he wants whatever Cactus Jack has. Then you have Foley talking about his wife and kids while he’s running around with Melina. She’s the kind of woman who would be Space Mountainized fifteen years ago. Foley says Flair sees Melina as a conquest but he sees kindness in her eyes. And no, Foley isn’t going to take family advice from someone who has been married three times.

Foley talks about a fourteen hour flight with Flair from Manila where they talked about family. Flair called all four of his kids because you never know when you might not get to talk to them again. That’s a great relationship, but Foley will never have to tell his kids that he has been arrested. Flair punches him in the face but here’s Jonathan Coachman to say Vince McMahon has made the match for Summerslam.

Foley says not so fast, because his contract says he wrestles when he wants, where he wants, and he isn’t wasting one of his remaining matches on Flair. This was rather intense with Flair reaching levels he hasn’t touched in a long time and Foley doing his mind games and personal insults perfectly. The Melina addition is a little weird, but you could feel the personal animosity here.

Edge vs. John Cena is confirmed for Summerslam and if Edge gets disqualified, he loses the title.

John Cena vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker says Cena damages the English language by calling his fans homies. Edge and Lita come out to join commentary as the STFU finishes in about a minute.

Rory McCallister vs. Johnny

Everyone else is at ringside. Rory grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away, with Mitch throwing in the megaphone. The referee takes it away from Johnny and uses it to eject the Spirit Squad in a cute moment. Rory hammers away but gets slammed head first into the mat for his efforts. The headlock doesn’t last long on Rory, who slugs away and hits some ax handles to the chest. Johnny kicks him down but Rory grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. So the Squad loses the title match the previous week and then they start building up the team? I could go for a rematch after the first one had a screwy ending, but at least they seem to have a little something going. It’s not like the Squad has anyone coming after the titles outside of the Highlanders.

Here are the Diva Search girls so Rebecca can be eliminated.

We look at the Wrestlemania XXIII press conference.

DX is in their locker room when some investigators come in to say they have a reason to believe HHH has some illegal substances. They find the Cuban cigars and he’ll have to go downtown. Vince and Shane find this rather amusing.

Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Shawn slugs away to start and hammers away in the corner to little avail. Umaga gets annoyed so Shawn slides between his legs to the floor as the McMahons come out. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a running headbutt, followed by a kick to the face to put Shawn on the floor. Back in and Umaga stomps away in the corner before hitting the neck crank.

Shawn fights up as expected and chops away until the running forearm puts Umaga down. There’s the nip up so Estrada gets on the apron, only to be knocked down by Umaga. The pop up Samoan drop crushes Shawn though and Vince gets on the apron for some motivation. That’s enough for Shawn to hit a low blow but Vince grabs the leg to break up Sweet Chin Music. Shawn takes out Shane but the distraction lets Umaga hit the Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Shawn can have this kind of match in his sleep and knows exactly how to face off with a monster like Umaga. The match was full of shenanigans of course and Shawn doesn’t lose much by getting pinned, but Umaga got a lot out of the win and that’s what matters. They’re building him up and if that’s what DX is good for in this run, so be it.

Post match the McMahons beat Shawn down, including a superkick to send a chair into his face. Vince makes HHH vs. Umaga for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where the wrestling wasn’t the focus as they built some things up for the future in a hurry. The McMahons having Umaga as their ace in the hole is the best thing that has happened to the story in a long time and we have the top part of the Summerslam card set. That’s a pretty efficient show and I could go for more of them like this in the future.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 24, 2006
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and that means it’s time to start cranking up the build towards the show. You can guess where a lot of the card is going but they still need to hammer home some of the details. That can be quite the tricky situation but hopefully they can figure it out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn Michaels (and only Shawn, as Stephanie McMahon went into labor earlier in the day so the McMahons and HHH are a little busy) to get things going. A few weeks ago, he and HHH said that Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor and that was a lie. After a quick chat with God, Shawn says that life imitates art because Stephanie is currently in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth. As good family, Vince and Shane are at her side but HHH is at the hospital as well. Now between you and me, Shawn thinks HHH knows who the father is.

Cue Jonathan Coachman, on the phone with Vince, to interrupt. Vince has decided that Shawn won’t be running amuck tonight because the Coach is in charge. Shawn takes the phone and has Cleveland give Shawn two words. Shawn: “No sir they didn’t say that. They said hi!”

Shawn gives Vince some Lamaze lessons and then hands the phone to Coach because Vince is rather annoyed. Coach hangs up and Shawn asks if Vince asked about him. It turns out that Vince has made a match tonight with Shawn vs…..Coach himself. Shawn pauses and then bursts out laughing needing Coach to hold him up. A pause sets up more laughter and Shawn falls to the mat in hysterics. They had to throw this together at the last minute so this was as good of a plan as they could think of.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking Hulk Hogan at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Lilian Garcia is back so we look at Viscera attacking her two weeks ago.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders are challenging. Kenny sends Rory (not Robbie JR/Lawler) into the buckle and it goes rather badly. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Highlanders getting in some right hands in the corner. Rory is sent outside and it’s Robbie in trouble until he neckbreakers his way to freedom. It’s off to Rory to clean house but a distraction lets the rest of the team break up the Scot Drop. Kenny Rolls the Dice to finish Rory and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well that was necessary. They bring the Highlanders in, give them some nothing wins, and then have the Squad beat them in about three minutes. It might not be the end of the team, but were they that bad that you needed to have them lose so soon? Nothing match due to the time, but man that’s a fast defeat after bringing them in.

Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and can’t believe that Ric Flair called him “fat boy” last week. It hurt then and it hurt thirty years ago when Foley’s brother used it on him. Flair uses a fourth grade insult because he has nothing left and is nothing but a second rate circus sideshow. What has become of Flair? Now all he is doing is attacking innocent women, one of whom happens to be a friend of Foley’s. He’ll see Flair next Monday.

This week in wrestling history: Great American Bash 1989. Yep that works.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. Flair talks about the clip we just saw, which featured him beating up Foley’s mentor Terry Funk. Now all Flair wants is Foley in a match in any arena in this country. Cue Edge and Lita to say that Edge is the man now….and here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Flair from behind. The double teaming is on but John Cena runs in for the save.

Carlito hits on Trish Stratus and they’ll be hanging out after the match.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon to try and get out of the match but Edge and Lita come in to rant about what just happened. Vince has a solution: Edge/Nitro vs. Cena/Flair tonight.

We get an official announcement that Stephanie has given birth to a girl named Aurora Rose.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title, which Carlito beat Shelton for last week. Carlito grabs some early rollups for near falls to start and a quick dropkick gets two. Benjamin is sent to the apron but pulls Carlito over the top by the arm to take over. Back in and a DDT on the arm sets up an armbar to stay on the shoulder.

Carlito fights up and hits a hurricanrana to head up top, only to dive into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope gives Carlito the break and he counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two. The Backstabber connects for two as Shelton gets his foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Carlito takes the turnbuckle pad off so the referee goes to yell. Shelton uses the distraction to get in a low blow for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. They had a little more time here though this would seem to be setting up a triple threat for the title at Summerslam. If that’s the case, I’ve heard of far worse ideas than putting these two with Nitro on a big stage for a title. It could work out well for all three and WWE could benefit from pushing younger stars for the Intercontinental Title.

We look at the Diva Dance Off from Smackdown.

Here’s Hulk Hogan (the greatest sports entertainment attraction of all time according to JR) and the ovation takes a rather good while, with the song starting over. Hulk talks about how crazy these Cleveland fans are but he knows that Randy Orton is crazy too. This wouldn’t even be the first time that he has dealt with the Orton family. Back in the 80s, Hogan dealt with Randy’s dad Bob.

When the blood was shed, there was respect on both sides. Now Hogan has to deal with Randy, who comes out to cut Hogan off. Randy is here to talk about Brooke Hogan and yes there was chemistry there. You could see it, even with Hulk’s fading eyesight. He and Brooke talked for at least five or ten minutes before Hulk showed up.

Brooke told him how handsome he was and how she loved the color of his eyes. The only bad thing is that Brooke is going to have to see her father’s legend killed. Hulk is ready to fight right now so Orton heads to ringside but takes his time. Hogan knocks him off the apron and into Jerry Lawler, who throws Orton inside for some right hands. Orton bails from the threat of the big boot. Nice little tease of the match here.

Mickie James vs. Candice Michelle

Non-title. Mickie kicks away for an early two and the chinlock goes on. Lawler makes his usual jokes as Mickie gets in the shoulders to the ribs. Candice is back with the figure four neck lock over the ropes, only to have Mickie roll through a high crossbody and grab trunks (or something close to them) for the fast pin.

Jerry Lawler threw out the first pitch at an Indians game.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jonathan Coachman

Shawn’s pyro is missing so he blames Coach. The bell rings so hang on a second as Shawn rolls outside to grab a skullcap. Coach nearly loses his pants and there’s the forearm into a nip up. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow….and here’s most of the Spirit Squad. Shawn dispatches them in a hurry so Sweet Chin Music drops the coach. Cue Umaga to jump Shawn for the DQ. This was an angle instead of a match but it worked fine.

Post match Umaga hits Shawn with the Samoan Spike to leave him laying as DX might have to sweat a bit for the first time in a few months.

John Cena thinks Maria is a little confused. Yes she’s beautiful, but sometimes he thinks she ate paint chips when she was a kid. Then sometimes he looks at her and thinks about things he only see in Penthouse Forum and….where was he going with this again? Anyway the show is being run by a phone tonight because Stephanie had a baby (Cena: “And HHH might have an inside track on knowing who the father is. He knows somebody or something.”). Then you have Edge, who is really rated PG-13 and Lita is rated NC-17 (Cena: “No Cold Sores In 17 Days!”).

Then there is Johnny Nitro, who is named after a natural gas and I’ll let you figure out the jokes yourself. Then you have the Legend Killer trying to put the moves on the legend’s daughter (Cena: “And I can’t blame him.”) but remember: Hogan Knows Best. Cena runs down the rest of the midcard and says that the big point is so clear even Maria can understand it: his partner is Ric Flair and they get to beat up Edge. Cena tells Maria to call him to wrap up a rather all over the place promo. Again though: the show was rewritten in a hurry so maybe he was told to just go fill time.

It’s time for the Diva Search elimination with Maryse being eliminated. I’m sure we’ll never see her again. This Friday: it’s musical chairs, with Miz nearly cracking up at the idea.

John Cena/Ric Flair vs. Edge/Johnny Nitro

Flair and Nitro lock up to start with Nitro getting smart by going to the eye. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the villains being cleared out as we take a break. Back with Cena getting beaten down with Edge getting in a little dance. Cena fights out and gets over to Flair for the tag as the pace picks up. The Figure Four goes on Nitro but Edge makes the save and hits the spear.

Nitro grabs a neckbreaker to send Flair outside but he’s back in with the chops. A clothesline takes Flair down though and he is knocked outside again to keep up the beating. Back in and Edge gets chopped out of the air, allowing the hot tag to Cena so house can be cleaned. Lita offers a distraction though so a chair to the back can give Nitro two. Cena is fine enough to grab the STFU to make Nitro tap.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill main event tag here and that’s fine. I know the Intercontinental Champion had to tap out but it’s not like Nitro is anywhere near Cena’s level at this point. They’re still teasing Cena FINALLY getting his hands on Edge and I think you know where this whole thing is going. Not a great match or anything, but for a one off main event, it worked well.

Cena and Edge yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much to offer here but it worked out well enough all things considered. Again though, how much can you really complain about when the show is thrown out of wack due to Stephanie having a baby? There is still time to set up Summerslam and it’s not like you can’t see the card from here anyway. Not a very good show, but it didn’t need to be this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 11, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially into a new era around here as Rob Van Dam has lost the ECW World Title to Big Show thanks to a screwy finish/the need to get the title off of him due to his arrest. Big Show already has his first challenger lined up too, as Ric Flair is this week’s guest star. This could go in a lot of ways so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Big Show winning the title last week when Paul Heyman turned on Rob Van Dam.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Heyman for an opening chat. Last week he made sure Van Dam lost the title and it’s all the fans’ fault. The people here are the reason he is no longer the champion and the reason why Van Dam has been suspended for thirty days. Heyman tried to convince Van Dam to calm down a bit and not defend the title so much, but the RVD chants drove him even further.

That drove Heyman to end it all and now he is a martyr. He sacrificed his friendship with Van Dam for these people and he will be your messiah. Heyman will lead his children to the promised land and you’re all coming with him. This felt rather forced, probably because that’s exactly what it was.

Post break, Tommy Dreamer runs into Heyman, now with armed riot guards. Heyman has no time to explain, because Dreamer’s match is next, despite the fact that he is in street clothes.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Test

Dreamer slugs away to start and it’s a Cactus Clothesline to take them to the floor. Back in and Test hits a running clothesline in the corner as the cockiness starts early. Dreamer gets the knee up in the corner though and grabs a neckbreaker. The DDT is countered into a full nelson slam but Test misses the top rope elbow. Dreamer manages to get him up in the Death Valley Driver but Test slips down and grabs a rollup (plus the rope) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I got what they were going for here but having Test win via rollup wasn’t exactly making Dreamer look like he was in serious trouble. Granted it’s Test so he isn’t the best choice to go with something even slightly complicated, but how hard is it to have Dreamer get in a little offense and then get squashed? Fine idea and poor execution, which could apply to a lot of things around here.

Candice Michelle gets dressed when Kelly comes in. Candice promises to take the dancing to the extreme and gets very close to Kelly’s face.

Ariel the Tarot Card Reader says the future holds blood and spits blood at the camera.

Kelly and Candice Michelle have their expose and of course here’s Mike Knox with the towel. This time Sandman pops up to cane Knox off the stage.

CM Punk says his tattoos tell a story, like DRUG FREE and HONOR. He’s fighting against the system.

Sabu vs. Justin Credible

This is under normal rules for reasons of general stupidity. Sabu takes him down to start so Justin heads outside to grab a table. That earns him a big running flip dive so Sabu sets up the (partially broken) table at ringside. Credible comes outside and is promptly put on the table for the Arabian Facebuster and the DQ. Well that was pointless.

Balls Mahoney says he’s always ready to fight.

Ric Flair says he’s coming for his 17^th World Title tonight but he also needs to talk about Mick Foley. If Foley wants to be a man, he can face Flair in a match of Foley’s choice. As for Show, Flair is coming for the title and will take advantage of any mistake Show makes.

Shannon Moore, now with spiked hair, tattoos and piercings, is coming.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Ric Flair

Show is defending and this is under Extreme Rules. They circle each other a bit until Show sends him into the corner with the straight power. Flair bails to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Flair being gorilla pressed and headbutted as the dominance is on early. Flair is already busted open and another headbutt makes it even worse. Show tosses him outside so it’s time to bring in the weapons but Show sends Flair back inside before they can be used.

A suplex drops Flair, who tells Show to bring it on anyway. That means another headbutt into a powerslam but Flair scores with some low blows. Some low kicks have Show down again and now it’s time for the weapons. Flair doesn’t waste time in going with the barbed wire baseball bat to gouge Show’s head open. Some trashcan and chair shots put Show down….for two, as he launches Flair off on the kickout. Now it’s thumbtacks time and some chair shots to the head knock Show into said tacks. That just angers Show, who hits a chokeslam and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this one as people remember it as Flair being this big pin cushion, but that’s really just a quick burst. The match runs about thirteen and a half minutes and the violence doesn’t come into play until about eight or nine minutes in. Yeah Flair bleeds like a pig at the start but he does that when he goes to the grocery store. The barbed wire bat and tacks are a bit much, but they’re really not that big of a part of the match.

That being said, the match isn’t all that good as it’s Show squashing him, Flair getting in a few weapons shots, and then Show finishing him off. Bad match, but not as bad as people remember, especially when it ties into Flair wanting to go extreme with Foley, and perhaps finding out that he’s in over his head.

Post match Show throws him into the tacks. Flair is helped out and we get a THANK YOU FLAIR chant to end the show. This part, with Flair barely able to walk and being rather bloody is probably the reason this match is somewhat infamous, as he looks pretty bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This series is reaching the point of dead on arrival, as any spark that it had is long gone, with “Ric Flair Goes EXTREME” not being much of a calling card. The first problem is the main event stuff, which would be the upper midcard on Raw at its very best. That doesn’t exactly make me want to stick around, but it’s certainly better than EVERYTHING else, which feels as worthless as you can get. Test beating Tommy Dreamer, a vampire, and Sabu in a regular match. If that’s as good as they have here, they have more troubles than they can solve.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 12, 2006
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after One Night Stand and that means we have a new WWE/ECW Champion in the form of Rob Van Dam. Sure it was a screwy finish, but that’s one of the places where ECW shines. That’s a big story in its own right, but we also need to get ready for Vengeance later this month. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

In Memory Of John Tenta.

Paul Heyman says that even though he isn’t an official official, Rob Van Dam is still the new WWE Champion. Tomorrow night on the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi, the WWE Championship will officially be rechristened the ECW Championship. Since Edge is the #1 contender, Van Dam will defend the title against him at Vengeance. Therefore, Edge, Lita, and all of you are invited to the debut show. Van Dam comes in to spin the title, which still says John Cena.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

So Orton is now on Raw. Orton gets in a right hand in the corner and manages to stomp Kane down in the corner. JR: “Kane was devastating in See No Evil. Maybe we can have a sequel here called Silence of the Slams.” A dropkick puts Orton down but Kane sits up and hits the big boot. The running clothesline into a side slam sets up the top rope clothesline but Orton blocks the chokeslam. Kane kicks him outside and they fight up the ramp for the quick double countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it feels more like a means to set something else up in the near future. What we got here didn’t last very long and that’s probably a good thing given that this was a cold match with Orton just debuting on Raw. At least the See No Evil lighting seems to be over for no at least.

Post match they fight up to the stage until the Costume Kane shows up for the brawl with the real one. Costume Kane knocks the real one out to the floor for a crash.

Here’s Charlie Haas to talk about accidentally knocking Lilian Garcia off the apron last week. Lilian has a sprained wrist and Charlie is truly sorry, but here’s Viscera to interrupt. Viscera says that was very sweet and Lilian may accept the apology, but he doesn’t. The beatdown is on, including the big splash. Lilian isn’t sure what to think about this.

We recap Vince McMahon trying to get HHH to join his Club but HHH outsmarted the McMahons and by not drinking the drugged water, meaning Vince and Shane were left laying instead.

Jonathan Coachman is trying to make sure everything is perfect for Vince McMahon’s State Of The WWE Address tonight. The cameramen aren’t even in the right place!

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts tomorrow.

Jerry Lawler complains about Joey Styles costing him the match against Tazz. Then to make it even worse, Sandman attacked poor innocent Eugene.

Eugene is worried about Jim Duggan facing Umaga tonight. Duggan: “WAS BABE RUTH WORRIED WHEN HE FOUGHT GODZILLA ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING??? Trust me, THAT HAPPENED!” He’s ready to fight tonight.

It’s time for the State of WWE, which means it’s time to talk about the return of ECW. In addition, Vince is not pleased with what happened between himself, HHH and Shane McMahon last week. The last person to cross the boss was Shawn Michaels, who isn’t in action anymore thanks to the Spirit Squad. Therefore, tonight HHH gets to face the Spirit Squad in a gauntlet match. After tonight, HHH will join Michaels on the highway to H***. Wasn’t that back in 1998?

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s a Wet N Wild match, meaning there are various water based implements in the ring and the winner is on the cover of the WWE Summer Special magazine. Naturally they’re both in white in case you didn’t get the idea here. They go back to back to start and start with the water guns before Candice throws her face first down onto the water balloons. Candice hits a backbreaker and puts some water balloons down Torrie’s clothes for a Vader Bomb.

That’s good for two and Lawler is way too happy about the kickout. Candice throws a bucket of water but stops for the Go Daddy Dance. A splash in the corner sets up another bucket of water being poured onto Candice, setting up the Stink Face. They go outside with Lawler being sprayed with the water gun and JR rather enjoying the visuals, calling it better than the Oklahoma State Fair. Back in and Torrie hits a facebuster for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t think this really qualifies as a wrestling match for the most (Moist?) part and that’s fine. They weren’t trying to do anything here other than the obvious and in that regard, it worked rather well. They kept it short and in this case, Lawler’s commentary was as it was supposed to be. Not good of course, but looking for quality here is missing the point.

Trish Stratus hosted the inductions into the Canadian Walk Of Fame and kissed Pamela Anderson. This isn’t on the Network.

Commentary explains the various things required for Rob Van Dam to beat John Cena last week.

Video on Van Dam winning the title.

The Spirit Squad says it’s GAME OVER for HHH. I really hope that isn’t supposed to pass for clever at this point.

Spirit Squad vs. HHH

Gauntlet match. Actually hang on as here’s Vince McMahon to say we don’t need a referee right now. Instead we see what happened to Shawn Michaels when the Spirit Squad got their hands on him. Mikey starts for the team and gets clotheslined before the bell. The knee drop into the jumping knee to the face make it worse so Vince sends out Kenny. HHH beats up both of them with a neckbreaker and a spinebuster so it’s Johnny coming in as well.

The fans chant for DX as Nicky is here as well, making it 4-1. HHH is whipped into the steps and it’s time to wrap a chair around his knee. Vince: “Not on the knee. Break his d*** neck!” Mitch is called out to join the fray….but he comes sprawling out of the entrance because Shawn Michaels is back. Sweet Chin Music hits Mitch and Shawn goes to the ring to clean house. The Pedigree connects as well and DX is back, complete with stereo crotch chops. HHH even drops his trunks to make Vince’s eyes bug out as a bonus.

Rating: D+. There was a bell so this was an official match, but the wrestling wasn’t quite the point (again). It worked out well in getting Shawn back though, which was the point of the whole thing. Vince is going to need more than the Spirit Squad to give these two a challenge, but they’ll work fine for the first boss. The reunion was good as well, as that felt like a special moment.

Back from a break and Vince makes the Spirit Squad vs. DX at Vengeance.

Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Eugene and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here as well. Duggan jumps him at the bell and hammers away but is quickly tied in the Tree of Woe. Eugene hands Duggan the board but Umaga kicks him in the head anyway. Umaga breaks the board over his own head and finishes in a hurry with the Samoan Spike.

Post match Eugene gets tied in the ropes and has to watch Umaga hit the running hip attack in the corner on Duggan.

See No Evil video.

Here’s Mick Foley, who has some good news: his eye and multiple lacerations suffered putting on the show of a lifetime will be fine soon. What matters is that the cuddly Mick Foley is back, right here at the University of Pennsylvania (wrong school). All he can think about is…being interrupted by Ric Flair. Foley says he only let Flair have his entrance because of who he is. Now what is Flair doing here?

Flair says he has been wanting to talk to Foley for three years and doesn’t care about One Night Stand. He wants to talk about the two of them, because Flair has heard what Foley has said about Flair’s comments on his wrestling career. The only person on Flair’s status around here is Joe Paterno so he is standing up for WWE against this ECW stuff.

For years, people like Flair, HHH, Shawn Michaels, Rock, Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle have wrestled their way to greatness. But then people say the greatest thing they ever saw was Foley going off the Cell and through a table. Flair: “We wrestle our way to greatness. You fall off a Cell and you’re great? That’s bulls***.” Foley says no one here cares about Flair vs. Race, Steamboat or Funk because that’s too old for them.

To Foley’s WWE fans, Flair’s thousand dollar suits will never match up to the Santa’s Village t-shirt and ripped flannel. Foley slept on a roof as WWF Champion to save a few bucks and what really bothers Flair is he can do nothing about it. This glorified stuntman could rip Flair apart so Flair takes the jacket off and backs Foley into the corner, but Foley cites his eye injuries from last night. Foley: “My eyes are so screwed up I might mistake you for Joe Paterno and start slapping the wrong old guy around!”

Foley leaves so Flair offers thumbtacks and a ladder if that’s what it takes to get Foley in the ring. That won’t work for Foley, but he’ll challenge Flair to a match at Vengeance, 2/3 falls. Flair can’t accept fast enough. I remember never liking this feud before so maybe watching it with fresh eyes will work better. This worked well and laid out the issues in the intense way you knew you would get from these two.

Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Melina is here with Nitro and Shelton Benjamin is on commentary, as he will be defending the Intercontinental Title in a triple threat against these two at Vengeance. Carlito grabs an armdrag and a hiptoss to start but goes outside when Melina steals his apple. Nitro uses the distraction to hammer away, with Melina getting in a headscissors from the floor. Carlito fights back up with a springboard elbow and a clothesline but Melina offers a distraction. That’s enough for Shelton to help block the Backstabber, setting up a standing shooting star press to give Nitro the pin.

Rating: C-. Very short by the book match here which worked fine as a way to set up the title match at Vengeance. It wasn’t about having a competitive match but Shelton screwing Carlito over makes sense. It’s nice to see Nitro added into the mix as well, though it makes his early struggles on Raw a little more confusing in hindsight.

Mickie James is rather amused by Beth Phoenix getting hurt last week. It’s amazing how many people get hurt for getting on her bad side. Ashley broke her leg and is on Smackdown, Trish Stratus has a bad shoulder and now Beth has to eat through a straw. Mickie and Beth grew up together but then Beth got really, really mean. Randy Orton of all people pops up to talk about the huge upset when Kurt Angle beat him. That was in ECW though so Angle should want a rematch at Vengeance under WWE rules. Spread the word.

The Highlanders are coming and raid the trash in Times Square.

We look back at the DX reunion.

Vengeance rundown.

Lita takes over interviewing duties for Maria and brings in Edge. He changed the face of wrestling last night by beating three ECW has beens and then costing John Cena the WWE Championship. Tomorrow night, the two of them will be at ECW but as for tonight, he’s facing Cena, who will never be WWE Champion again.

Stevie Richards, Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney are here to sit in the front row.

Edge vs. John Cena

Cena is serious tonight and double legs Edge down to start the fight in a hurry. They go outside with Edge going into the steps so Lita jumps on Cena for the DQ in less than a minute.

Post match the ECW guys jump the barricade so Cena cleans house with a chair. Cena says he got an awakening in ECW last night and since anyone can show up and do whatever they want, he’s going to be showing up on ECW tomorrow night as well. He likes this feeling and he’s going to have an extremely good time tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was almost nothing here but this show did a good job of making me want to see tomorrow’s ECW show. That’s exactly what they were going for here and Vengeance is starting to look good as well. That’s a nice use of time tonight and I’m curious to see how they pull off both shows. Now that being said, the Raw stuff was actually pretty weak and the wrestling was just a step above awful, but I’m liking where things are going. Find a nice mixture of all that stuff and the show could be back on its roll in a hurry. For now though, nice job of building things up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 27, 2006
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and I’ve been digging the heck out of the last few shows. Tonight features a match which would be a much bigger deal at a different time but for now it’ll do well enough: John Cena vs. Vince McMahon. Other than that it is time to build things up for Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

A rather enthusiastic Vince McMahon is in his office to welcome us to the show and hypes up his match with John Cena. Just to be fair though, his Wrestlemania opponent Shawn Michaels will be in action tonight too, against HHH.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mick Foley, with wet hair and carrying a red box. He is ready to face Edge in a hardcore match on Sunday but it does not give him the right to stick his fingers down Lita’s throat. That is why he has brought an apology gift for Lita: a bouquet of roses from inside the box. There is another box for Edge on the stage, so Foley invites Edge and Lita to join him. Edge and Lita come out but Edge doesn’t want to hear it because the present could be a trap.

Foley says it is something Edge can use at Wrestlemania, so Edge says that Foley could use a win at Wrestlemania. All Foley does anymore is dip into his legacy in the name of a paycheck and one day the account is going to run dry. Foley cuts him off to say that it’s all about the Wrestlemania Moment and he has something in mind. He pictures Edge bleeding all over and begging for mercy but since Foley has lost his ear, he can’t hear any of it.

Foley wants Edge to hear the pitter patter of blood drops and then Foley being announced as the winner. Now Edge needs to open the box and he finds…a baseball bat. Edge comes to the ring with it so Foley reaches down into the box and pulls out a barbed wire baseball bat and Edge bails from the threat of pain and suffering. Good promo, but I think they were as ready as they were going to be last week.

We see the trailer for Edge vs. Foley and come back to Foley cradling the barbed wire bat as the Cactus Jack theme plays.

Kane vs. Carlito

Carlito jumps him for an early two and that’s about it for his offense at the moment as the left hands have no effect. The sleeper doesn’t work either as Kane uppercuts him down and hammers away in the corner. The running clotheslines set up the side slam to drop Carlito again but he kicks the knee out. A DDT gives Carlito two but Kane is right back up with a hand around Carlito’s throat. Carlito grabs the referee for the fast DQ.

Post break Kane chases Carlito into the back where Chris Masters, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch all jump him. They throw him in a closet and put a forklift in front of it but Big Show comes in for the save. There is no key though and Kane is trapped.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge for Big Show but he is still in the back, trying to shove the forklift. Kane pops up behind him though and Show is stunned. Show: “How did you get out???” Kane: “There’s another door.” That’s one of the funnier things I’ve seen WWE do in this era. So we go to the ring where Kane chases Carlito off. Masters can’t get the hold on so he jumps Show and gets chokeslammed. So much for that.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child will be singing America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

Long and well done video on John Cena’s training in the gym and road to the top of WWE. None of his friends are betting against him, but Cena knows what it means if he loses. He has made a living out of proving people wrong though.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame: Tony Atlas.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

The slugout is on to start with Shawn hammering away in the corner and doing the same on the mat. HHH gets knocked to the floor and then over the announcers’ table. Shawn posts him and they head into the crowd with a backdrop sending HHH right back to ringside. Back in and HHH grabs the facebuster but the Pedigree attempt is backdropped to the floor. Cue Vince to menacingly point though and we take a break.

Back with HHH hitting a nice spinebuster and a knee to the back of the head for a bonus. Some right hands to the head and an elbow to the jaw put Shawn on the floor, meaning HHH can send him into the steps. Back in and Shawn gets in the forearm into the nipup and the crowd is rather pleased.

Vince grabs the foot and gets on the apron though, only to have Shawn catapult HHH into him. The top rope elbow hits HHH but Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music. That earns him a right hand but HHH uses the distraction to grab the Pedigree. Vince comes in and holds Shawn so HHH can pull out the sledgehammer. Cue Cena for the save and the ring is cleared for the no contest.

Rating: C+. These two can have a good match with each other in the right circumstances and this one was close enough. They did what they could do here given how much there was going on elsewhere and that worked out well enough. I want to see both Wrestlemania matches and they can only have so many things to help set the two of them up at this point.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: the first Money in the Bank match.

During the break, Vince said that Shawn can be in Cena’s corner because HHH will be in his.

Here’s Ric Flair, with a ladder in the ring, to talk about losing the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania VIII. People thought that was it for him but he has won the title again since. He has one more title run in him so he can finish his career with seventeen, and he is starting with that briefcase. Flair starts climbing the ladder but here’s Shelton Benjamin to tell him to shut up.

Shelton thinks he needs to shut up because Wrestlemania is his night. The fight is on and Shelton goes up but here’s Rob Van Dam to pull him down. Rolling Thunder onto Shelton onto the ladder lets Van Dam say Sunday is every man for himself. Flair pokes him in the eye and gets in a ladder shot to leave them both laying.

Spirit Squad vs. Val Venis/Viscera/Eugene

Kenny, Johnny and Mikey for the Squad here and it’s Viscera with a swinging Boss Man Slam to plant Mikey early. Eugene comes in to ride Mikey like a horse so Johnny comes in to send Eugene into the corner. That means some Michael Jackson dancing, allowing Kenny to come in for an elbow. Eugene gets over for the hot tag to Venis so commentary can make some innuendo jokes. Kenny uses the trampoline to jump up and break up the Money Shot though, allowing Johnny to steal the pin.

Rating: D+. You’re only going to get so much out of a team of jobbers who sound like they are the kind of people who would walk into a bar. The Squad needs to actually win some matches for the sake of actually having a point around here other than cheering so this worked as well as anything else. They kept it short too, as they should.

Post match the beatdown stays on, including the quintuple slam to Eugene. The Squad throws in a bonus cheer on the stage. On a minor note, Venis seemed to hurt his shoulder here, which was an excuse for him to go away for three months for elbow surgery. Why WWE felt the need to write off Val Venis isn’t clear but well done on the attention to detail.

We get a video on HHH, talking about how he is the top star in WWE and how no one can do it like him. This includes his Wrestlemania training, with him working to get in the best shape of his career. He even went to Brazil to train with a special trainer. That’s some dedication.

William Perry is going into the Hall of Fame as well. Makes sense for Chicago.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Earlier tonight, Mickie James, surrounded by candles, was sitting in a shrine to Trish Stratus (there are a bunch of magazine clips and a sign saying LIAR). Mickie says her obsession is Trish’s destruction.

Trish is disturbed but Torrie Wilson, and her dog, are here for the tag match.

Trish Stratus/Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle/Victoria

Torrie wants to start with Candice so Victoria knocks her down for suggesting that she can intimidate anyone. Candice comes in to drop Torrie again and hit the Go Daddy dance. Victoria comes in but misses a charge into the corner, where Candice is sitting on the top. The hot tag brings in Trish to clean house, including the spinning anklescissors to Victoria. Candice and Torrie get in the catfight on the floor as Trish escapes the Widow’s Peak and hits Stratusfaction for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah I’m not sure what else you were expecting as Trish is FINALLY getting on to someone else who can give her a good match other than Victoria. It’s a little strange to see Trish and her serious story mixed with the goofy Playboy stuff but waiting for Trish vs. Mickie was as good as you were going to get at this point.

Video on Mickie’s obsession with Trish.

Vince McMahon vs. John Cena

HHH and Shawn Michaels are the seconds. Actually hang on as Vince insists that Shawn and HHH are handcuffed to the ropes to make sure that it’s one on one. Vince dodges to the side to start because he needs to pull on the ropes a bit. They lock up and go nowhere as the fans are behind Cena (shocking). There’s a head/throat lock from Vince but Cena powers out with a top wristlock. Back up and Vince calls for and receives a test of strength. This goes as you would expect with Vince in some serious pain, so he kicks Cena low for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t exactly a normal match and that’s a good idea. You don’t want to risk Cena getting hurt six days before Wrestlemania and Vince is only going to be good for a garbage brawl anyway so this was as good as you were going to get. It’s more of an historical curiosity if nothing else and that’s fine enough for the circumstances.

Post match Vince uncuffs HHH, who grabs the sledgehammer. A shot to Cena’s head busts him open and a rib shot to Shawn lets Vince get in a chair shot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s kind of a weird show as they had me wanting to see Wrestlemania on the way in and while they set things into stone a bit more, I’m not sure if I want to see the show all that much more. The wrestling wasn’t all that great of course, but this was the show designed to keep people safe, with only Shawn and HHH having a match with any substance and that included a lot of brawling. Not terrible, but this show is always a little weird.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Saturday Night’s Main Event #32
Date: March 18, 2006
Location: Cobo Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

And then there’s this, as we need a two hour commercial for Wrestlemania. The main event is a handicap match between the John Cena/HHH (the Raw main event) and Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle/Randy Orton (the Smackdown main event), though it could wind up at any part of the show. There’s also Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon in a street fight, which could have some strong potential. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon promise to destroy Shawn Michaels tonight.

Shawn Michaels says if he’s going down, Shane is coming with him.

HHH is going to be champion again at Wrestlemania when he beats John Cena. Cue Cena to say HHH is tagging with the champ tonight.

JBL admits that it was a bad idea to challenge Steve Austin to a beer drinking contest but he’ll teach Austin something tonight.

The Boogeyman is coming to get us.

I miss these fifteen second promos. Why don’t we get these things more often today?

Opening sequence.

HHH/John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Kurt Angle/Rey Mysterio

Cena and Orton slug it out to start but Angle tags himself in and suplexes Cena down. There’s another suplex but it’s too early for the Angle Slam. Instead Cena hits a spinebuster as the arena is rather full of smoke from the pyro. HHH comes in so Angle suplexes him for a change. There’s the tag to Rey for a few near falls on HHH until he pokes him in the eye. Cena shoulders Rey down but a headscissors takes HHH over for a change. HHH pulls Cena out of the way of the 619 and blasts Rey with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with HHH sending Rey hard into the barricade, much to Cena’s annoyance. Cena won’t tag in but Angle does come in to break up a cover off a spinebuster. The sleeper cuts off the EDDIE chants but Rey is out in a hurry. Rey knocks HHH off the top though and hits the moonsault. A dropkick is enough for the hot tag to Orton, who gets beaten up by Cena in a hurry.

The FU hits Orton but HHH Pedigrees Cena and walks out. Actually hold on as HHH comes back and puts Orton on top…and Mysterio breaks up the cover. HHH Pedigrees Mysterio but gets taken out by Angle. There’s an RKO to Angle but Cena counters another RKO into a rollup to finish Orton.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but it was a good idea to have the pin be a fluke. It also made sense to have such complete insanity for most of the ending, as it fit everything that was going on. None of these people wanted to team together and it wasn’t like this was anything more than a spectacle. They didn’t treat it as anything such either and that was the right idea here.

Cena and HHH pose at each other.

Here’s who is going into the Hall of Fame.

Booker T. has a bad knee and can’t face Boogeyman tonight. Teddy Long cancels the match and Booker limps out of the trainer’s room with Sharmell. They both break into big smiles.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge, complete with a table covered in weapons. Tonight’s guest is Mick Foley, who is so pathetic that all he can do is say a city’s name and put a sock on his hand. That isn’t exactly cutting edge, so Edge wants him out here right now for the Wrestlemania beating.

Cue Foley, with Edge lighting the table on fire. Foley turns it over and beats Edge up before pouring out the thumbtacks. Lita gets in a cheap shot though and Edge knocks Foley onto the tacks. Foley gets up, smiles, and chases Edge up the ramp for a neckbreaker. He even gets extra violent with a Conchairto. Once Edge started talking, this whole thing was only about six minutes long.

Long recap on Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels. They’ve done a very good job of making me want to see Shawn superkick his head off so well done on the build.

Sharmell and Booker have gotten changed and dance in happiness. Cue Boogeyman from the ceiling and they run off screaming through the hall.

It’s time for the beer drinking contest between Steve Austin and JBL, who Texas Two Steps out of the limo. After another opening sequence for the second hour (or second hour and ten minutes or so), JBL talks about how happy NBC is to have him on the show. JBL gets in the insults to Detroit, including the jokes about the carmakers, the labor unions, the mayor, and of course the sports teams. He’ll win the US Title at Wrestlemania and make everything better, but here’s Austin in the truck to cut him off.

Austin says it’s good to be on this show and back in Detroit, but he’s thirsty. He doesn’t understand why JBL challenged him to the contest and thinks JBL is about 6’1 and 205lbs. JBL tries to correct him and talks about drinking a case of beer for breakfast and fifteen pitchers for lunch. That sends JBL into a rant about how Austin tries to buck the system but here are the rules for the contest. Austin: “All right.”

JBL has Canadian beer and they each have 25 beers with a minute to drink each. He insists that they go back to back, with JBL insisting that he isn’t Brokeback Mountain. Austin: “No comment.” JBL mentions the one minute time limit and Austin asks if he’s a one minute man. JBL: “You been talking to my wife?” They start, with JBL pouring his beer out instead of drinking it. Austin calls him out so JBL throws a beer at him and runs. Cue Chris Benoit to throw JBL back in for more beer dousing and the Stunner to complete the extended cameo.

Candice Michelle and Victoria admire Candice’s Playboy cover.

Candice Michelle/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Mickie James

JR: “Mickie James is a little psycho.” We get a recap of Mickie’s obsession with Trish and we’re ready to go. Trish and Candice start things off, so of course we get the Go Daddy dance. Candice chokes away both with hands and rope, allowing Victoria to get in a kick to the face. The slingshot flipping legdrop gives Victoria two and we hit the front facelock. The fans are rather pleased with Mickie bouncing on the bottom rope to cheer Trish on and Trish throws Victoria off. Victoria is smart enough to knock Mickie off the ropes, only to walk into Stratusfaction for the fast pin.

Post match Mickie says this is goodbye, but she wants to say it the right way. She tries to kiss Trish but only gets the cheek, allowing Mickie to hit the Chick Kick and scream a lot. Mickie even hits the Stratusfaction, with Lawler saying she doesn’t get even but she gets odd.

During the break, Mickie says she loved Trish and shouts if Trish loves her now.

Wrestlemania rundown, including Booker T. vs. Boogeyman.

Here are Mark Henry and Daivari for a chat. After a video on Henry attacking Undertaker and the casket match being set up as a result and a break, Daivari rants about how Henry isn’t scared of anything, including Undertaker. Henry says Undertaker is afraid of him and he will shove Undertaker into the coffin.

There’s the gong and the druids bring out the casket, followed by Undertaker himself. After the long entrance, the slugout is on with Henry running him over. They head outside with Undertaker whipping him into the steps and then chokeslamming Daivari onto the casket. A Tombstone puts him onto the casket as well as Henry is gone.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

Street fight and Vince is here with Shane. Shawn runs up the ramp to jump Shane and we start in a hurry. A chair goes over Shane’s back and Shawn loads up an early table. Vince gets in a cheap shot from behind to put Shawn down though and Shane throws in a ladder. Shawn goes back first into the post twice in a row and Shane climbs the ladder. Shawn doesn’t stay on the table long though and superplexes Shane from the ladder (in the ring) through the tables (on the floor) for the huge crash to send us to a break.

Back with Shawn knocking Shane down again and loading up the ladder in the corner. Shawn climbs said ladder but Vince gets in a few kendo stick shots to the back to knock him back down. Shane drops the ladder onto Shawn’s back and Vince is rather pleased. It works so well that Shane does it again for two and there’s the running ladder shot to the face for the same. We hit the double arm crank for a breather but Shawn is up with a DDT. Shane is fine enough to chair him in the face but Coast To Coast misses, with Shawn pulling Vince in the way of the trashcan.

There’s the flying forearm into the nipup and the comeback is on. The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music does the same, only to have Vince pull the referee out. Shawn goes after Vince but Shane gets in a low blow, setting up the Sharpshooter. Vince immediately calls for the bell to give Shane the win. JR: “Michaels has been castrated of his dignity!” JR never was one to let things feel small.

Rating: B-. They beat each other up well, but that big superplex spot was a weird thing to put in the first half of the match. It worked out well enough though and the anger continues to build in Shawn, to the point where he should be ready to annihilate Vince at Wrestlemania. It was a story building match, but it was entertaining at the same time.

Overall Rating: C. This was nothing but a big commercial for Wrestlemania and in that sense it worked out well enough. Nothing on here is overly bad and the show really did seem to fly by. It isn’t a show you need to see, but it also isn’t anything that you would regret watching. The energy was there and for a one off special to set up a big show, it was perfectly fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 6, 2006
Location: Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We have less than a month to go before Wrestlemania and that means we need to get in some more build between HHH and John Cena. That being said, the bigger story going on is Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels, which is likely to get a lot more time tonight. That and maybe some more Money in the Bank setup. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Marty Jannetty trying to get a job last week, leading to Shawn Michaels having to save him from Chris Masters. Shane McMahon got involved as well and forced Shawn into Vince McMahon’s Club instead.

Here are Vince and Shane, flanked by a bunch of security, to open things up. With the camera pointed at the ramp for a weird visual, Vince talks about the Oscars last night and seeing three hours of a** kissing. That was weird to see, but it was nothing close to what we saw last week. Of course we have visuals on the screen, but Vince has some people to thank, complete with music playing behind him.

He thanks the Spirit Squad and Chris Masters, the latter of whom was so helpful that he and Carlito are now receiving a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania. Then there is Marty Jannetty, who will not be here tonight and will never be in the ring again. The fans deserve some thanks as well because they are willing do do anything to keep their jobs. Finally there is Shane, who humiliated Shawn, which is why Vince loves him so much.

That brings us to Wrestlemania, where Shawn is facing a 60 year old man on the cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine. Shawn’s music hits so security runs to the floor, because they’re really stupid. Shawn runs in through the crowd and jumps Vince until security pulls him off. Vince and Shane escape, with Vince saying Shawn faces Shane at Saturday Night’s Main Event in a street fight. Tonight though, Shawn is facing…..Shane!

Post break Shane doesn’t get it but Vince says he is going to ruin Shawn’s life.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is defending and has Mama Benjamin in his corner. Flair goes after him to start but walks into an early Samoan drop for two. A delayed suplex gets the same but Flair slugs his way out of the corner. Shelton even reaches out for his Mama as Flair keeps hammering away. It’s too much for Shelton so he pokes the referee in the eye. Flair grabs the Figure Four to make Shelton tap but the referee calls for the DQ instead.

Post match Flair is livid and beats Shelton up with Mama’s oxygen tank.

During the break, Teddy Long announced that Money in the Bank was now inter-promotional, with qualifying matches continuing this week on Smackdown. Rob Van Dam was there too. Yeah it’s quite the unnecessary cameo.

HHH vs. Kane

Wrestlemania XV rematch. HHH circles around a bit to start and gets in a poke to the eye, earning himself a beating in the corner. Kane goes up top but gets crotched back down, leaving HHH to not be able to hit a suplex. It’s too early for the Pedigree as Kane backdrops his way to freedom and hits a delayed side slam. Now the top rope clothesline connects but Chris Masters runs in for the distraction. HHH clotheslines Kane outside so Kane grabs his feet and HHH grabs the referee. That’s enough for Carlito to run out and spit apple in Kane’s face and post him, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. You wouldn’t usually expect a match in 2006 to be about as overbooked as the original version booked by Vince Russo. At least there was nothing that left you scratching your head this time and the Tag Team Champions finally have someone to face for the titles. HHH getting a win on the road to Wrestlemania helps, even if it took a distracted referee and two people interfering.

Victoria and Torrie Wilson are ready to unveil Candice Michelle’s Playboy cover. Torrie is upset over Candice being mad at her but Victoria says Torrie messed up and Candice is under a lot of pressure. Torrie implies Candice might be disrobed in the ring tonight.

Stephanie McMahon comes in to see Shawn and tries to apologize for Vince and Shane, plus everything she has ever done. She goes to leave but has some pregnancy issues. Shawn goes to get her a water and Stephanie spikes his water.

Video on Candice Michelle’s Playboy shoot.

Victoria and Torrie are in the ring and unveil the Playboy cover. The cover rises up and Candice herself is inside for the Go Daddy dance. She says she is hotter than Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler (Candice: “Congratulations on finishing third by the way Stace.”) and has the hottest Playboy cover of all time. Right Torrie? That’s a little too far for Torrie but Candice keeps pushing until Torrie calls her a b****. Candice backs off and they hug, with Candice winking at Victoria, who jumps Torrie from behind. Victoria and Candice even have a quick kiss as they leave.

Shawn isn’t feeling right but drinks more water.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

Vince McMahon is here too. Shawn charges in and slugs away with the chase being on. Shane gets in a cheap shot though and Shawn looks a little shaky. Some right hands in the corner have Shawn in more trouble but he comes back with a right hand. He can’t follow up though and the chops have little effect. There’s the nip up but Shawn can’t get all the way to his feet. Shane punches him down again and here are the doctors but Vince won’t let them come to the ring. Shane dances around as Shawn can’t even stand up. Shawn finally collapses and Shane gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t the point of course, but the McMahons really need to work on their poisoning skills as Stephanie did the whole thing on worldwide TV. The point here was the angle advancement as we continue to get ready for Shawn to destroy Vince once and for….well probably at least a day or so.

Post match Shane tells Lilian Garcia that Shawn has another match right now.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Vince covers him for the pin in about five seconds.

Post match the McMahons do the big celebration until the Spirit Squad comes out and puts the McMahons on their shoulders.

Eugene vs. Kenny

Hold on though as we need a quick dance off and then a game of hide the air horn. Kenny uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot and the beating is on in a hurry. A jumping elbow to the face and another to the chest give Kenny two and we hit the chinlock. Kenny hits a basement dropkick for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Some forearms to the head get two more and the chinlock goes on again.

That doesn’t last long though and Eugene is sent into the buckle, meaning it’s time to get fired up. The airplane spin into a bulldog gives Eugene two and a bridging O’Connor roll is good for the same. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom but a distraction lets Johnny come in for a kick to the head. Kenny adds the top rope legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. You do need to have the Spirit Squad get in the ring at some point as they are just glorified background characters otherwise. That being said, it is rather amazing to see that they have turned so many OVW stars, including Eugene, into this stuff. It is good to have them on the show and that is the point for all of them, but how long were they expecting these characters to last?

Video on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Lita vs. Maria

Lita is out for revenge from a few weeks back when Lita pinned her in a mixed tag. Edge is here too and Maria is looking a little nervous. A clothesline and some knees have Maria in early trouble and Edge mocks her from ringside. We stop for a quick kiss from Edge, allowing Maria to grab a rollup for two. The cockiness continues with Lita talking trash but the fans are right there with the Jim Duggan catchphrases. Lita finally plants her with the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. Another match built around the story more than anything else and that’s fine. They made it very clear that Lita is a Women’s Champion and Maria is there because of the Diva Search. It didn’t make for the most exciting match but it was what they should have done here from a logic perspective.

Post match Edge loads up the spear on Maria but Mick Foley comes in for the save. Lita offers a distraction though and Edge spears Foley. The Conchairto follows and Edge accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania.

Sherri Martel is going into the Hall of Fame. That’s a good choice.

Mickie James is very happy with Sherri being inducted when Trish Stratus comes up. Trish says they need to talk and finally cuts Mickie off, saying she’s going too far and they need to be apart. Trish leaves and Mickie is devastated.

Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Non-title Wrestlemania XX rematch. Show shoves him down to start and Cena isn’t sure what to do here. The big shots knock Cena into the corner and there’s a beal back out of it. Cena gets slammed as Show stays on his back and a side slam cuts him off for two. We hit the required bearhug but Cena fights out and low bridges Show to the floor. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer and we take a break.

Back with Cena hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two with Cena getting his foot on the ropes. Another slam gets another two but Cena gets the boots up in the corner. A middle rope crossbody is pulled out of the air though and Cena is down again. Cue Carlito and Masters but Kane jumps them from behind.

That lets Cena catch Show on the middle rope with a suplex (with the camera cutting to a shot of HHH, though they show the full thing on the replay). Cena stares at HHH though and gets shouldered down, only to counter the chokeslam into a DDT. Another chokeslam attempt is escaped and it’s the FU for the pin, much to HHH’s shock.

Rating: C. This was another match where it was all about the angle advancement with HHH vs. Cena and there’s nothing wrong with that. They took a step here with HHH realizing he might be up against something special with Cena and that could bring out the bigger, more evil HHH. Granted that might not be the best thing in the world, but at least they have a reason for going there.

The big staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We are firmly to the point where the wrestling does not matter and that was the case right here. The wrestling was mostly bad tonight but that is far from important whatsoever at the moment. They advanced some stories here and that is one of the best things that they can do with less than four weeks to go before Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We pause to go overseas for Tribute to the Troops, which felt a lot more special when they actually went to the troops. None of the storyline stuff here is going to matter whatsoever and that’s not the point of the show. This is going to be a bunch of fast paced stuff and thanking the troops. There’s nothing wrong with that so the quality of the wrestling isn’t what matters this week. Let’s get to it.

The troops rush into the makeshift arena.

We get a video on the history of entertaining the troops and how special this show is.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up (Lawler: “He’s like our five star general.”) and he’s got a big promise: Santa Claus himself is making a special trip here, but he’s not sure what to get everyone for Christmas. Santa doesn’t know what to tell the negative media types back home who have forgotten about the soldiers here. That story is one with a happy ending because the armed forces get the job done. He has an idea of what they should do though and brings out military brat Lilian Garcia to sing the National Anthem (and certainly admires the barely existing outfit).

WWE had to stop at a base in Germany on the way here and met some troops at a medical hospital.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Carlito hides to start but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope. Some left hands don’t do much and it’s the chokeslam to finish Carlito in just over a minute.

Post match Show celebrates with the troops. Just assume that takes place after every match.

We look at the troops having to be worried about mines, some of which had to be destroyed with C4 (Spanish Fly, same thing).

Jonathan Coachman is in the ring and introduces Santa Claus, who isn’t fat and is in military gear instead of the red suit. He also seems to be John Bradshaw Layfield, who talks about knowing Vince since he was a little evil boy. Vince is wrong about the world forgetting about their troops, because the reality is no one cares. If this place was any better, it would suck. There was NO Dom Perignon for his reindeer and it might as well be called Rehabistan.

As a result, Santa is skipping Afghanistan next year and is canceling Cinco de Mayo, Oktoberfest, Arbor, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day and everything else. Oh and no leave for the troops! He’s going back home to cold beer….but we’ve got another Santa, who is rather large and in the red and white. This one says he’ll be delivering presents RIGHT HERE in Afghanistan but the other one says the only ho-ho-hos around here are the Divas. The red Santa wants a No Ho-Ho-Holds Barred match to settle this once and for all.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Bad Santa hammers away to start so Good Santa hits him with the sack of toys. The pillow comes out of Good Santa’s shirt (that’s a relief as even Mick isn’t that big) but since it’s a pillow, it doesn’t do much damage. A big boot drops Good Santa instead but the Clothesline From Bad Santa misses and it’s the double arm DDT. The Mandible Claw is good for the fast pin.

John Cena and Trish Stratus had a quick press conference and met some troops.

MSNBC was here too and interviewed some troops. They’re still looking for Osama Bin Laden.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him in the face to start and knocks him down without much effort. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Shelton slugs away and hits a running forearm. The top rope clothesline connects but the Stinger Splash hits the buckle. A big boot gives Snitsky the pin. Shelton can’t even win HERE?

We look at a hut that has been turned into a makeshift coffee bar.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about the great strides democracy has been making in Afghanistan. Masters runs him over with a shoulder but Cena is right back with a front facelock. Back up and Masters pounds him down with a front facelock of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t quite work and Masters’ middle rope fist drop misses. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and it’s the Shuffle into the AA for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine as Cena gets to beat up a muscleheaded heel. It’s not like Masters loses anything by getting beaten by the champ here as the show exists in its own continuity. That and it’s not like anyone believed he had a real chance to win the title in the Chamber anyway. I’m not entirely sure why it was non-title but it doesn’t really matter.

More clips of wrestlers meeting the troops.

Coach brings out Ric Flair, who is rather well received. Coach calls this Flair’s farewell tour because HHH beat him down at Survivor Series. Even Coach could beat him right now so let’s do it for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Jonathan Coachman vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and takes Coach into the corner without much effort to start. A back elbow staggers Flair and Coach gets to take off the shirt (King: “Oh no, he’s exposing his body!”). Flair comes back with the chops and a low blow, followed by the Figure Four to retain in a hurry.

More clips of the troops, including an explanation from future United States Senator Martha McSally, and the wrestlers talking about how awesome this is.

Candice Michelle to keep Maria from going into an area that hasn’t been cleared for mines.

Candice Michelle/Maria vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The women are attired as you would expect them to be. Ashley and Maria start things off with Maria celebrating an early takedown. Candice comes in and wants Trish but it’s already time for the stalling on the floor. Actually make that body surfing and then the Go Daddy dance. Trish shoves her to the floor and lays on the ropes before accidentally headscissoring the referee. Maria is too busy posing on the apron to take the tag so Trish headscissors Candice this time. Ashley comes back in for a double elbow but Candice rolls her up and grabs….whatever you call what Ashley is wearing for the pin.

Rating: D+. There might have been something other than the wrestling here and that’s fine given the situation. The women were there for one purpose here and it worked well enough. The soldiers liked it and that’s all they were going for here. Again though, kind of weird to have the heels win but it doesn’t exactly matter.

More troops tell stories.

We look at the arena being built.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Boot Camp match, meaning military themed street fight. Shawn is in fatigues to add some flavor. HHH runs him over to start so Shawn armdrags him into an armbar. A backslide gives Shawn two and it’s the armbar going on again. HHH shoulders him to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Shawn getting knocked outside again so they fight up to the entrance.

The Pedigree on the stage is broken up so Shawn hits him with a sandbag. HHH comes back with a gas can to the head and they head back inside. This time HHH gets whipped over the corner and they fall outside, with Shawn hitting him with a mop. That earns Shawn a posting but the referee gets bumped. There’s no one to count after a DDT so here’s a second referee for the delayed two.

The second referee points to the Army patch on his arm, earning him a salute….and a right hand. HHH dives onto a raised boot though and the comeback is on, including the forearm into the nipup. There’s the elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered. So is the Pedigree though and it’s a catapult into the corner into the superkick for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the only match that was treated seriously all night and that’s easy to understand. These two know each other so well that they could have a competent match without trying and that’s probably what they did here. You can imagine how many times they probably did something like this at a house show so doing it here with a bit of a theme is a good way to go out.

One more big video ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. These shows are similar to Year In Review shows as I never know how to rate them. The wrestling is completely not the point and it’s a bunch of clips of the wrestlers interacting with the troops. That being said, it’s an easy show to watch and a lot of the footage is cool so it’s not something that deserves any real complaints. If nothing else, it’s nice to see WWE putting in this much effort. While they get a lot of good publicity, they do something to earn it and that makes it better. Fine show, as usual in the old days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 28, 2005
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re done with Survivor Series and unless Raw is doing something at Armageddon, we’re building towards New Year’s Revolution. John Cena retained the World Title on Sunday and needs a new challenger now that Kurt Angle is out of the way. I’m not sure who that is going to be though and that could be a problem. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

An annoyed Eric Bischoff is in the ring to start things off. He’s about to call every Raw wrestler out here because he needs to give them a piece of his mind. Last night, Raw let him down and failures like that will not be tolerated. Bischoff demands everyone out here right now so he can fire the first person he sees.….so here’s Vince McMahon. Vince: “How do you do? I’m Vince McMahon, the Chairman of the Board.” Vince talks about Bischoff failing at everything he promised to do last night. Bischoff tries to explain himself but is told to shut up.

Vince: “YOUR RECORD SUCKS! If Monday Night Raw is a failure, they’re going to perceive ME as a failure!” Bischoff has one job tonight: set a goal of any kind and accomplish it, or Vince can look for his replacement. That’s fine with Bischoff, who doesn’t think Vince can find much of a replacement. Almost on cue, here’s the returning Shane McMahon and Bischoff looks like he just ate a bad chimichanga. Shane says he’s never liked Bischoff and is looking forward to seeing him go. In case you’re not that bright, Shane clarifies that he will be the replacement if Bischoff fails.

Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito

Carlito is out to prove that he should have been the captain of Team Raw. The apple goes into Shawn’s face to start and Carlito knocks him to the floor. Shawn chops away but gets knocked down again, setting up the headlock on the mat. Back up and Shawn tries to skin the cat but gets knocked outside, setting up a slingshot dive to the floor. Shawn is right back up for a chop off in the corner, followed by a middle rope crossbody for two on Carlito.

The forearm into the nipup doesn’t quite work as Shawn’s knee gives out and we take a break. Back with Carlito staying on the knee until he fights out of the corner. The moonsault press takes too long to set up though and Carlito crotches him down. That earns Carlito some elbows to the face and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music is countered into a DDT for two but Shawn escapes a Roll of the Dice. Now the superkick can put Carlito away.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better Carlito matches I can remember, though a match with Shawn might not be the best measuring stick of Carlito’s abilities. Maybe he was fired up for some reason but it was a stronger performance than usual from him. Granted when your normal isn’t very good, any improvement is a nice thing to see.

Kurt Angle storms in to Bischoff’s office and says last night was the biggest screwjob in the history of Survivor Series. Daivari comes in to rant as well. Angle wants the World Title tonight.

Clips from last night’s main event.

Video on HHH beating Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match.

Maria comes in to ask Bischoff, who is rubbing his head, if he thinks he’ll be fired tonight. Bischoff wants to know why she came in here and it was Shane’s idea. Tonight, Maria is making her in-ring debut…against Kurt Angle. Bischoff’s goal for tonight is to make sure she never asks another question.

Kurt Angle vs. Maria

Daivari is referee and yells at Maria, so the regular referee pulls him off. The referee hits Daivari in the mouth so Daivari stomps him down and puts on the camel clutch. Angle comes out and hugs Maria….followed by the Angle Slam. John Cena runs in for the save as this feud must continue.

Post match (the bell rang), Chris Masters runs in for a Masterlock on Cena so Angle can hammer away. Bischoff comes out and has a main event: an anything goes triple threat submission match for the World Title. Angle gives Cena an Angle Slam for a bonus.

Post break, we look at what we just saw.

Trish Stratus/Mickie James/Ashley Massaro vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle/Torrie Wilson

Mickie sends Torrie into the buckle to start and it’s off to Ashley for an ax handle to the arm. Torrie pulls her into the corner though and Victoria comes in for a wishbone. A snap suplex gives Victoria two and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long and Victoria misses the slingshot flip legdrop so Mickie can get the hot tag. Mickie cleans house and there’s a hurricanrana out of the corner to drop Victoria. Trish takes Torrie down and Mickie hits Stratusfaction to finish Victoria off.

Rating: D+. What are you expecting here? They made no secrets about the fact that the women are in there to look good and the wrestling is secondary. It does help that Trish vs. Mickie is turning into a story, though we could be a long way off from them getting to the point. That’s the only real opponent on the horizon for Trish at the moment and that’s not a good sign.

Shane comes in to see Bischoff, who is confident that he’ll accomplish his goal. Shane didn’t think much of the Maria deal so Bischoff calls him a member of the Lucky Sperm Club (that family has some weird clubs). Bischoff winds up against the wall and the threat seems to make its intended point.

Daivari assures Angle that he’s ringing the bell the first time that Angle grabs a hammerlock. Masters comes in and says he knew something was up. That’s why he’s gone to Vince and they’ll be having an impartial referee tonight.

Video on the European tour.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him to the floor in a hurry and hits a big clothesline off the top. Back in and the Stinger Splash misses so Murdoch can stomp away. The Dragon Whip gives Shelton two but he misses another top rope clothesline. A Downward Spiral gives Murdoch two but Shelton is back with the Stinger Splash from behind. Murdoch sends him face first into the middle buckle though and a rollup with trunks finishes Benjamin.

Rating: D+. That’s not something you expect to see and I still can’t get what they’re doing this for. The losing streak is something that has been done for years but who looked at Shelton and thought it was the right move for him? Shelton’s momentum has been gone for months now and I have no idea why they’re giving him this story.

Here’s HHH for a chat. HHH knows that some people don’t think he’s compassionate but he took care of Ric Flair. He made sure Flair is in a nice hospital room with a plasma TV on the wall and the USA Network included. His advice to Flair is easy: stay down, because he’s done. There is nothing left for Flair to do after back to back pay per view matches with HHH. There’s no shame in losing to the best, so Flair needs to go home after this is over. The fans don’t like that but HHH says that’s what separates them from him: they knew something needed to be done about Flair but HHH did it.

There is no one alive who will look him in the eye and say something to his face, so here’s Big Show to interrupt. Show has known him for a long time but now HHH needs to hear it to his face: he is a piece of s***. The fist is held up next to HHH’s face so does he have the guts to fight Show now? HHH tries to say something and the mic is knocked out of his hand. That’s going to be it for HHH, who bails in a hurry.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Snitsky/Tyson Tomko

Snitsky and Tomko are challenging and we’re joined in progress with Tomko hammering Kane down for two. It’s off to Snitsky to choke on the ropes until Kane sends him face first into the mat. Show comes in with the big side slam as everything breaks down. Kane hits the top rope clothesline to Snitsky and Show chokeslams Tomko to retain in a hurry.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and it’s submission only. Cena charges straight at Angle but the numbers have him in trouble early. Masters and Angle take turns dropping elbows on him but Angle sends Masters to the floor. That leaves Angle to slip out of an FU attempt and grab the ankle lock until Masters makes the save with the Masterlock to Angle. That’s broken up by Cena so Masters Masterlocks him.

Angle makes a very delayed save and hammers away, while managing to tell Masters that he sucks. The ankle lock has Masters in trouble so Cena hits a top rope ax handle for another save. Cena unloads on Angle until Masters breaks up the Shuffle. The straps come down and Angle grabs the chair, which is kicked straight back into his face. Cena smashes the chair on Masters’ leg and grabs an STF to retain. Coach: “WHERE DID CENA LEARN THE STF???” Make your own jokes.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one but I remember watching it live and being very surprised by the STF. It was a good surprise and while I know Cena’s version doesn’t have the best reputation, it was a great debut for the hold. That came out of nowhere and gives Cena a new weapon to use. The FU is good but now he can switch things up a bit, which is a smart idea.

We cut to Vince, who says that next week, the trash is taken out.

Overall Rating: C. They got out of Survivor Series mode here and that’s what they needed to do. There’s only so much that you can do when you have the one big story going on for so many weeks and it was time to move on. Now we have some fresh feuds and hopefully some of them can pick up the pace around here. I liked this well enough and maybe things can improve a bit as they hit December.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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