IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 2005
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than two weeks away from Unforgiven and that means things should be starting to pick up. I’m not sure what that is going to mean around here but it could cover a lot of ground. Kurt Angle vs. John Cena is starting to look like a solid main event and hopefully it lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Angle suplexes him down to start and stomps away in a hurry, which fits him rather well at the moment. The announcers talk about how Eugene might not know what he’s gotten himself into, which was never mentioned when they did this match several times before in the last month or so. Angle gets two more off another suplex and we hit the reverse chinlock. Some forearms to the face get two but Eugene fires up and tries a Jim Duggan three point stance, only to have his knee sent into the post. The ankle lock gives Angle the win.

Rating: D. There was nothing to the match which was just a squash but the important thing is they weren’t even hinting at the idea of Eugene being a threat to Angle. It was one thing in the three minute time limit matches where Eugene just had to survive but this should have been Angle massacring him, which is what we got.

Post match Angle keeps the hold and puts on the grapevine, drawing out John Cena for the save. Cena wins the brawl but Tyson Tomko runs in to boot Cena in the face. Angle throws in a You Can’t See Me because he’s awesome.

Post break Angle and Eric Bischoff are very happy. Tomko comes in and Bischoff gives him a match with Cena tonight.

Heart Throbs vs. Viscera/Val Venis

Romeo punches Val into the corner to start so Venis comes back with the usual clotheslines. A Russian legsweep gets two but the full nelson isn’t happening. Instead Venis hits a reverse suplex and brings in Viscera, who misses a splash. Viscera runs Thomas over but Romeo blocks Val from coming in with the Money Shot. That means it’s time for Val to get taken down so the Throbs can work on his knee as we get into the meat of things. Val kicks Romeo into Thomas though and the hot tag brings in Viscera for the house cleaning. The double running splash is blocked but a Samoan drop is enough to finish Romeo.

Rating: D+. This was an odd little match as neither team is likely to go anywhere but I guess you have to fill in the two hours somehow. It’s not a good match or anything but the fans are digging Viscera and Venis works as well as anyone else is going to as his partner. There are worse things to use for the show and if they can get a small reaction out of Viscera, it’s better than a short time of people sitting on their hands.

We get some Masterlock Challenge highlights. It’s a full nelson. How many highlights can you have?

Linda McMahon asks for donations to help with Hurricane Katrina. Nothing wrong with that.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with special guest Ashley Massaro. Carlito: “Well hello A**ley!” He says she should use her big check to get a makeover but Ashley calls him out for complaining about hair. Carlito doesn’t like people coming on his show and insulting him, even if it’s Ric Flair. That was a big mistake, so Carlito jumped Flair last week and he’ll make it worse at Unforgiven.

Back to Ashley, we see Victoria destroying her last week. Ashley is ready for Torrie Wilson tonight but Carlito loads up the apple. Cue Flair, who is way too smiley for someone with bandages on his head. Flair goes with the testicular claw (several of them actually) and the beatdown is on. Carlito bails before Flair can throw a barrel of apples at him. Flair wants to know where Carlito is going, because he’s going to school at Unforgiven. That’s cool, and you know what else is? WOO!

More Masterlock Challenge highlights. He’s still putting people in full nelsons.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch debut tonight. Cade has to keep Murdoch from dropping his pants.

Video on last week’s Matt Hardy vs. Edge street fight.

Bischoff gives Matt a cage match with Edge at Unforgiven, but he also has to face Snitsky next.

Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky

Edge and Lita come out to have a seat on the commentary table for a chat. Snitsky jumps the distracted Matt to start and hammers away but Matt gets in a Side Effect. Matt goes after Edge and Lita though and Snitsky blasts him. A spinning sitout Rock Bottom gives Snitsky the fast pin.

Post match Snitsky loads up the bell again but Big Show comes out….rather slowly, allowing Snitsky to hit Matt with the bell and run in time.

Tyson Tomko vs. John Cena

Non-title. Cena is all fired up to start and slugs away in the corner, setting up some running clotheslines. A suplex gives Cena two but Tomko is right back with a spinebuster and a powerslam for the same. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on so Cena powers out (as he is known to do), earning himself a heck of a clothesline. The big boot is cut off though and Cena starts the comeback. Cena finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Rating: D+. There’s nothing wrong with setting up the monster of the week and having Cena fight through some adversity and overcome the odds. It’s something that has worked forever and it made him break a small sweat before he gets ready for the real challenge in Angle. The match wasn’t much, but it wasn’t supposed to be and that’s ok.

Post match Angle runs in and beats the heck out of Cena, including throwing him face first into the set. The Angle Slam on the stage leaves Cena laying. Angle holding up the title and Cena reaching for it is a great visual.

Post break, Todd Grisham asks Angle if attacking Cena three weeks in a row is a pattern. Angle ignores that stupid question and goes into an intense rant about how intense and real he is. Fair enough.

Torrie Wilson vs. Ashley Massaro

Victoria and Candice Michelle are here with Torrie. Victoria trips Ashley at the bell and the beating is on in a hurry. Ashley fights up and completely messes up a sunset flip so Torrie stands on her hair. A spear works a bit better and it turns into a catfight but even more cheating lets Victoria low bridge Ashley to the floor. She even drops Ashley face first onto the apron so Torrie can win with an X Factor. It took three women, including Victoria, to beat Ashley? Get new careers.

We get a THIRD Masterlock highlight package.

Another plea for Katrina funds. Now that’s a repeat that makes sense.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Conway

The bell rings and here’s Kerwin White in the golf cart and dancing a bit to that snazzy theme song. Lawler compares the name change to Cassius Clay/Muhammad Ali as Conway jumps Benjamin to start. The beating is on until Shelton hits a Samoan drop for two. They’re outside in a hurry with Conway sending him into the apron and then planting him on the floor for two back inside.

A neckbreaker gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Shelton fights up and makes the short form comeback with clotheslines, including the big one from the top for another near fall. An O’Connor roll gets the same but Shelton trips Shelton with the golf club, allowing Conway to get a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great but again, at least they’re trying to push someone new. Ok so it’s Conway and White, but Conway is slowly getting a little better and White….well Conway is slowly getting better. That being said, and I know I ask this a lot, WHAT HAPPENED TO SHELTON? It’s like they threw him overboard with a rock attached to him and I haven’t seen anything like it in forever. I can’t even remember the last time he won a singles match and six months ago, he was looking like a sure thing. That’s another level of dropping someone.

Mick Foley has a new book called Scooter. I liked that well enough.

Hurricane/Rosey vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and it’s Cade/Murdoch’s debut. Rosey slams Murdoch a few times to start and gets two off a running headbutt. Cade comes in for a double flapjack, elbow and clothesline, followed by a double suplex for two. The double teaming continues with Murdoch shouting a lot and handing it back to Cade in a hurry. Rosey finally powers out and brings in Hurricane to clean house. A headscissors puts Murdoch down and a crossbody gets two. Rosey and Cade fight to the floor, leaving Murdoch to hit a jawbreaker. The top rope bulldog finishes Hurricane.

Rating: D+. So Rosey and Hurricane are the biggest losers to ever hold the titles right? They’re making the Bodydonnas look intimidating at this point. Just put them on Cade and Murdoch already because maybe they can do something with them. Or at least not be complete disasters. It isn’t even Hurricane and Rosey’s fault either. If they are rarely on TV and regularly lose when they’re around, what’s the point in the titles?

Masterlock highlights part four. Austin and Rock didn’t do that much at Wrestlemania.

Unforgiven rundown.

Masters brags about the Masterlock.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge with Shawn Michaels. Shawn sits in the chair and waits for Masters to grab a towel. The hold goes on and Shawn starts flailing, even sending Masters into the corner a few times. That doesn’t work so Shawn climbs the corner and bounces back onto Masters but still can’t break it. More rams into the corner fail but Shawn eventually breaks the grip, only to have Masters hit him down. A chair to the head busts Michaels open and one more Masterlock ends it.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was a rough string of matches but it didn’t feel like a terrible show at the end. I’m trying to dislike the Masterlock deal (though it got WAY too much attention with the ridiculous amount of highlights) but it’s a gimmick that has been done before and works well enough. It’s what Masters is known for and if he can evolve a bit more, he’ll be fine given his looks. Not a very good show, but they set up Unforgiven well enough, even if it’s the definition of a B pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re coming up on Unforgiven and the best thing that could happen went down next week as Kurt Angle jumped John Cena, being named as the #1 contender to the World Title. The other interesting point here is that Chris Jericho is really gone, meaning we might be in for someone getting a promotion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jericho being fired and Angle jumping Cena in a good segment to end last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s an annoyed Carlito to open the show with Carlito’s Cabana. He’s happy that Chris Jericho is gone because it means there’s no more Highlight Reel. We’re done with that though because here’s Shawn Michaels as his guest. Carlito praises Shawn, who agrees that there is a lot to admire about him. It’s true that things Shawn has done have paved the way for guys like Carlito and now Shawn is a guest on Carlito’s show.

Now Shawn looks up to Carlito, though Shawn isn’t interested in more ego. He congratulates Carlito on the title but doesn’t remember how long it has been since Carlito won the title. The fans chant for Hogan but Shawn says he’s not coming back until he needs another payday. No one is talking about Carlito’s matches because they’re too busy talking about Shawn’s matches from ten years ago.

Carlito doesn’t like being asked about recent title defenses but it’s because no one is brave enough to face them, including Ric Flair. We hear about the ladder around here, with Shawn being a lot lower than Carlito. The apple is loaded up but Shawn tells him to not even try it. Carlito brings out his other guest in Chris Masters so Shawn’s jacket comes off. Shawn: “You know, after twenty one years of doing this, you would think I’d be smart enough not to get in these situations.” The fight is on with Shawn getting beaten down until Flair makes the save to a ROAR. I’m sure the tag match tonight will be fine.

Post break, Eric Bischoff makes the tag match. Shawn being in the Masterlock Challenge (previously announced) is postponed to next week. How are they unable to keep things scheduled just a week in advance?

Big Show vs. Steve Madison/Buck Quartermain

The beating is on with Show throwing them into the corner for the early chops. A forearm to the back puts Madison down and Show shrugs about how easy this is. Show pulls them up from the floor by their heads but they get in a neck snap across the top. That means the strap comes down so the comeback (?) is on. Double chokeslam is good for the double pin.

Post match Snitsky comes in and, after knocking a cameraman over for the wacky camera shot, hits Show in the head with the bell a few times.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle for a chat. They made their debut last week and weren’t that nice to Ashley Massaro. Therefore, they would like her to come out here for an apology. Ashley comes out and is stupid enough to accept. They have a match set up for her so she can get her career started in the right way.

Ashley Massaro vs. Victoria

Widow’s Peak in about thirty seconds.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are coming and they want the Tag Team Titles. If they can find the champs, so be it.

Edge is being serenaded by Alter Bridge when Tod Grisham interrupts him. He’s ready to beat up Matt Hardy again tonight so Matt can go back to his website and independent wrestling shows.

Lita comes up to Matt Hardy to call him pathetic. She takes off her jacket to reveal….well very little really, but he’ll never experience anything like this again. Matt isn’t interested because he’s ready to beat up Edge.

Flair has been attacked and left very bloody.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Street fight and Edge is in street clothes. They go straight to slugging it out with Matt taking it into the crowd in a hurry. Matt hits him with a trashcan lid and pulls out a ladder as we take a break. Back with Matt hammering away and cutting off a charging Edge with a trashcan lid shot. Matt whips him into the ladder in the corner and drops the big leg off the ladder for two.

Edge is right back with a kendo stick shot to the head but the Conchairto is blocked with a legsweep. Some big trashcan lid shots to Matt’s head put him down again and Matt can barely stand. They go outside and Matt slugs back, this time hitting a DDT onto the steps. They brawl against the barricade with Matt getting the better of things and hitting Edge in the head with the ladder back inside. Edge is right back up and trashcans Matt down on the floor. They fight up the ramp with Edge being sent into the set, followed by the Side Effect into the tech area for the explosion and the no contest.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as Matt has already lost some interest and it was a lot of weapon shots and walking around. The feud has been done for a good while now and I’m not sure what the point is in continuing here other than going to one more match. It had some good shots but it’s hardly some great brawl.

Post match we get the big serious moment as the two of them are taken out on stretchers and we get a bunch of replays.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He rants about how everything is going bad lately, including a bad haircut and high gas prices, but the good news is that he just saved a bunch of money on car insurance (timely commercial reference). What matters most though is the champ is still here! If Kurt Angle wants to fight, come get some. Cue Angle, who must have hurt Cena more than he thought he did. We see a clip of Angle beating him down last week so he’s not coming down there right now and risking getting hurt. Angle: “I’m not Chris Jericho.”

Angle is a great wrestler and he is on the top of his game. Cena is a punk, but he accuses Angle of drinking haterade. Hang on though: if Kurt is a gold medal winner, Cena is in over his head and Angle is the baddest man alive. Oh well because Cena is calling him out anyway. The fight is teased but Angle walks away, leaving Cena to make a gay joke and turn around so Angle can jump him. Now the fight is on and Cena kicks away from the ankle lock until referees break it up.

Rosey vs. Tyson Tomko

Tomko takes him down for some knees to the head and kicks a diving Rosey out of the air….for the knockout in about a minute. That’s a champion people.

Post match Tomko knocks out Hurricane for a bonus.

Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Handicap match as Flair was taken out earlier tonight. Carlito starts for the team and Shawn is smart enough to bail out of the corner before Masters can interfere. They trade hammerlocks with Shawn having to avoid going into the wrong corner again. Shawn knocks Carlito into the corner so Masters comes in for the first time. Masters is strong enough to take him into the corner and it’s time to take over on Shawn.

Carlito’s elbow gets two and a Masters distraction lets Carlito get in some choking behind the referee’s back. The sleeper goes on but Shawn slips out and hits a neckbreaker. Masters gets knocked off the apron and Carlito is sent outside with Shawn hitting a dive as we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of the corner and hitting the flying forearm (Flying Burrito according to JR) to keep the comeback going.

Sweet Chin Music is broken up though as Masters pulls Shawn to the floor and blasts him with a clothesline. That’s only good for two back inside so Masters starts in on the back with some elbows. The backbreaker has Shawn bent over Masters’ knee but Shawn of course fights up and hits a DDT. Cue Flair, with the big, bloody bandage around his head so he can get the hot tag and clean house. Carlito gets in the blow blow to cut him off though and the Masterlock is good for the win.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match and I do like the lack of a swerve with Flair apparently not having attacked himself (so far). The match was longer than I was expecting too and that was a good thing in this case as it felt like a serious main event rather than just throwing Masters and Carlito out there for something quick. They’re trying something with the two of them so maybe we can get somewhere.

Overall Rating: C. This felt a little different, though I’m not sure how much better it was. The big story here was having two longer matches, both of which had some elements of violence involved, and quick things in between. The show felt big, but nothing on it was overly good and I had forgotten some of the stuff shortly after it happened. It’s a bit of a transitional phase at the moment but the stuff on top should be enough to carry them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2005
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Summerslam and the big stories around here are Hulk Hogan defeating Shawn Michaels and John Cena retaining the WWE Championship over Chris Jericho. With that out of the way, it’s time to get ready for Unforgiven, which could need something fresh instead of a bunch of Summerslam rematches. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last night’s Raw matches. Hogan and Shawn shaking hands so soon was still a little much.

Here’s Shawn to get things going. Shawn doesn’t like admitting it, but Hogan was the better man last night. Hogan was catlike last night and there was too much athletic prowess for Shawn to figure out. With that out of the way, it is time to get back to reality, which is Hogan has flown back to Florida until the fans pay to get him back. Shawn is here tonight though and he’ll be giving the fans what they want.

That would be the Showstopper, but here’s Chris Masters to interrupt, leaving Shawn confused. Masters talks about admiring Shawn since he was a little, little kid because Shawn is old. I’ll give Shawn this: he knows how to play the “who me?” look really well. People like Shawn and Hogan don’t know how to pass the torch but being grouped too far is hitting below the belt BROTHER. Shawn is ready to give him a few lessons because Masters isn’t ready to steal the spotlight. See, kids today don’t know enough to know that they don’t know.

There’s a ladder around here with people like Shawn at the top and people like Masters down at the bottom. It can get a little hard to breathe up here, but Masters makes fun of Shawn’s hair being thinner than the air. Shawn: “It hurts because it’s true!” Shawn slaps him in the face and the fight is on with Shawn forearming him out to the floor. That’s quite the demotion for Shawn but if they want to see what they have with Masters, Shawn is as good of a choice as they can have.

Chris Jericho is upset about last night but is ready to face John Cena tonight. Eric Bischoff makes it even bigger: it’s a YOU’RE FIRED match with the title on the line.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kurt Angle

Nice mini reunion here. Shelton suplexes him down to start but a waistlock is countered into a wristlock. They go to the ropes so Angle kicks him in the ribs and puts on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up as well with Shelton getting to his feet and springboard into a roll to escape. Shelton’s armbar is broken up with an armdrag as neither can get that much of an advantage going.

A low bridge puts Angle on the floor and we take a break with the fans waking up in a hurry. Back with Angle putting on something like an STF before switching to a regular chinlock. The comeback is cut off with some stomping and choking, followed by a bodyscissors to mix things up a bit. Back up and Shelton sends him hard into the post, setting up a spinebuster to put them both down.

A Samoan drop gives Shelton two more and the Dragon Whip rocks Angle again. Shelton goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the super belly to belly. The Angle Slam is countered into a heck of a DDT (JR: “The fat lady’s not singing! She’s eating a doughnut!”) for two more and things slow down a bit. Shelton goes for the exploder but Angle reverses into the ankle lock with a grapevine for the tap.

Rating: B-. Shelton loses, again, and I’m not even surprised anymore. I’m not sure why WWE has decided to let him free fall like this but it’s quite the waste of someone they built up for a long time. Angle seems ready to go up in the world though, which could mean a shot at John Cena.

Post match Angle insists on being awarded the medal again.

Kerwin White is backstage in his golf cart and brags about being the spokesman of middle class America. He just saw Shelton Benjamin lose to polite applause and that’s because racism exists in America. Shelton may be a great athlete but he’s never going to be one of us. White: “Shelton Benjamin is not WHITE! If it’s not white, it’s not right.” Of note: his theme song, talking about how he never thought his life could be this good plays in the background. That’s about the only good thing about this whole thing.

Maria adjusts her shoe but Snitsky comes in to play with her toes. He thinks they look tasty, but here’s Big Show to say that’s a little weird. With Snitsky gone, Maria asks Show what a pervert is. This may be the dumbest back to back pair of angles I have seen in years.

Rob Conway vs. Matt Hardy

Rating: D. Yeah Matt is already done, even if he winds up winning a rematch against Edge. The problem is that the heat he had coming in is all gone and the losses are only going to make it worse. It started great and then went straight off a cliff as the losses pile up. Just like Shelton, as this company enjoys making popular wrestlers lose.

Post match Edge comes down for the brawl and kicks Matt’s head into the steps to leave him laying again.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and Carlito gets straight to the guest: Ric Flair. Carlito welcomes him to the Cabana but Flair welcomes him to Flair Country. A WOO off seems ready to break out but Carlito says wooing is NOT cool. Carlito remembers his father battling Flair over the years and his father said Flair was great. Now Carlito can see it for himself but being a sixteen time World Champion means Flair has lost it sixteen times.

On the other hand, Carlito is a one time Intercontinental Champion, which is a title Flair has never won. That’s because Flair isn’t cool. Flair says he’s not cool, because he’s the NATURE BOY. Carlito’s father called him the King of the Caribbean and the women know he can go all night long. Carlito spits the apple at him (Flair’s look at Carlito, saying “kid, you’ve got a lot to learn”, is great.) and the fight is on with the fans going coconuts over Flair all over again.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Snitsky tries to beg off but throws some right hands, only to get chopped hard. Show does it a few more times and they head outside where Show posts himself by mistake. Back in and Snitsky knocks him down but gets suplexed for his efforts. A clothesline puts Snitsky on the floor and he walks out.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time this is. Not only is Snitsky’s new gimmick that he likes feet but now he gets in a match and walks out on it after about three and a half minutes. It’s never a good sign when the best thing you can say about a match is short but….well do you have anything else here?

Bischoff runs into Cena and threatens him with being fired tonight. Cena has headphones in though and doesn’t notice.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade like beer and wrestling. Yeah it’s lame but I do like “hi, we’re *insert names here* and we’re coming to WWE” style promos.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle, who have been traded to Raw. Candace demonstrates the Go Daddy dance and they bring out Ashley Massaro for her first full night as a Raw Diva. They don’t like her getting here so easily and the beatdown is on. It takes a special level of bad to make good looking women a waste of time.

Video on Summerslam.

We look back at the Shawn/Masters segment. Next week: Shawn takes the Masterlock Challenge.

Jericho is ready to get rid of Cena.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending, the loser gets fired and Bischoff is at ringside. They go nose to nose to start with Cena driving him into the corner, only to have Bischoff grab the ankle. Jericho gets in a few cheap shots and suplexes Cena down to set up a basement dropkick. The stomping in the corner (and obvious spot calling) are on, allowing Cena to send him into the post.

That means a trip to the floor but Cena goes after Bischoff, earning himself a low blow. Back from a break with Cena suplexing his way out of a chinlock but Jericho hammers him in the corner. Cena gets in a few right hands though and throws him off the top, only to miss a high crossbody. Jericho has to escape the FU and grabs the Walls, but the drama isn’t quite as strong as last night.

The rope is….not grabbed actually as Bischoff pulls it away so Jericho can pull Cena back to the middle. This time Cena makes the other rope (How hard can it be to know which rope to pull?) and manages the FU for the double knockdown. With the referee checking on Cena, Bischoff hands Jericho some brass knuckles (JR: “HOW CAN THAT BE CONDONED????”). Jericho’s right hand gets two and that kickout gets the big crowd reaction. Cena catapults Jericho into Bischoff and muscles Jericho up for the FU and the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Good match here without a ton of the drama as it wasn’t exactly shocking to see Jericho lose and go away. The Cena feud was a boost but it hasn’t been the best time for him as of late so maybe some time away is the best thing. Cena gets his first big feud win on Raw and now it’s time to go on to someone else. I wonder who that could be.

Post match Bischoff yells at Jericho and fires him. Jericho goes after Bischoff but security drags him away. Bischoff isn’t done with Cena though as here’s Kurt Angle to wear Cena out. Oh and he’s the new #1 contender.

Overall Rating: D+. Some good things keep this one from being a disaster but egads some of the character stuff is horrible. Between the nonsense of Snitsky’s foot fetish, Kerwin White and racism and the new Diva welcoming committee, there were a lot of parts of this show that made it into one of the hardest to watch in a long time. Cena, Angle and Shawn are very good on the top, but there’s a limit to what they can make work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need one final push to get everywhere we need to go. This includes a dream match between Kurt Angle and Hulk Hogan, which wasn’t much of a dream when they did it in 2002 but maybe it’s better three years later. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Shawn Michaels to get things going and the fans have not forgotten why they hate him around here. Therefore, Shawn is willing to try and smooth things over a bit by belting out his own version of O Canada, with lyrics about how much he hates this place. With that out of the way, Shawn starts talking about memories of Survivor Series 1997 and the fans get even worse. On that day, he handed Bret Hart his most miserable defeat so we get a WE WANT BRET chant. Shawn: “You’re not getting Bret because I screwed Bret!”

Shawn says if Bret had any guts and walked down that ramp tonight, he’d screw Bret again because Bret…..and then Bret’s music plays and Shawn panics. The fans go coconuts as the music keeps playing, only to be cut off with Shawn saying he got their hopes up just a little bit. Now that’s some high quality trolling because the fans bought the possibility of the huge return. Shawn talks about how he is everything the fans wish they could be. He uses his live microphone to do whatever he wants to do.

That’s what Hulk Hogan doesn’t like about him either: he’s unlike anyone Hogan has ever faced. Now it’s Hogan’s music playing and Shawn freaks out again, this time taking off his jacket and dropping to his knees. Then he keels over in laughter, talking about how funny it was to torture the fans like this when he had the production team ready to play the songs. Sure it would be great for one of them to come out here and give him what for. See, Hogan isn’t even here yet because his limo doesn’t get him here until late.

That triggers the Goodbye Song so Shawn has a seat in the ring until the chants die down. Shawn says the people know who runs the show now so he can continue. He can’t wait for Summerslam so he can prove he’s the better man because what he says is real while Hogan doesn’t have a sincere bone in his body. The fans tell him to shut the f*** up so Shawn asks if they teach their kids to speak that way. Hogan can try his one move on Sunday but he’ll find out what happens. Just ask Bret Hart.

This was AMAZING as Shawn took a crowd that didn’t like him and made them want to kill him several times over. Then he made Bret and Hogan look like fools to really hammer things home. It was a perfect example of how to torture the fans and take them wherever you wanted to go while building up more heat for yourself than any writer could ever put together. Incredible stuff here and some of the best heat I’ve seen from a heel promo in years.

Big Show vs. Heart Throbs

I don’t think this will have the same amount of heat. Show shoves them down to start and laughs off their efforts. Both Throbs are shoved around again and their various forearms don’t do much. Some loud chops put both of them down but a gorilla press is cut off with a chop block. The attacks in the corner don’t work either and Show splashes both of them. A double backdrop and a double chokeslam give Show the win.

Rating: D. They did something to get Show back on track but I’m not sure what is next for him. It’s the same trouble that he always has: you know what you’re going to get with him and there is very little that can be done to really heat him up past a certain point. There was nothing to the match of course, but that’s kind of the point.

Here are Eugene and Christy Hemme with Eugene struggling through some French. He issues the Gold Medal challenge and here we go.

Eugene vs. Rene Dupree

Kurt Angle runs in for the DQ at about ten seconds.

Post match Angle destroys Eugene and rants about how much he’s going to do to him to take back the medal on Sunday.

We look back at Carlito and Chris Jericho beating up referee Chad Patton last week until John Cena made the save.

It’s time for part one (!) of the Diva Search finale. We hear about their paths to the final and it’s Elizabeth being eliminated to get us down to Ashley vs. Leyla.

Long video on Matt Hardy vs. Edge. It’s a heck of a story and the match should be intense, but I’m worried about living up to the expectations.

Carlito and Chris Jericho are looking forward to their handicap match with John Cena. Eric Bischoff has an idea to take away Cena’s fan support though: tonight, the three of them are all going to be Canadians. Jericho seems rather confused but tells Carlito to call himself Carlito Canadian Cool. They wrap the Maple Leaf around themselves and it’s all smiles. Carlito: “That’s cool eh?”

Carlito/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Bischoff is here as the Canadian flag bearer. Jericho starts for the team but tags out before anything happens. Carlito comes in and gets headlocked for his efforts, followed by a headbutt to the afro. Jericho offers a distraction though and Carlito gets in a few cheap shots, only to walk into the flying shoulder. This time Jericho comes in without a tag so Cena cleans house and puts them both on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Cena in trouble as Jericho kicks him in the ribs. Some right hands from Jericho and some left hands from Carlito keep Cena down but he gets in a suplex for a breather. JR is LOSING IT over the unfairness here, saying that if he loses clean on Sunday then Boomer Sooner to Jericho. Carlito hits a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock.

A spinebuster gets two on Cena and Jericho’s missile dropkick makes it even worse. The apple is spat into Cena’s face and Carlito DDTs him for two. Jericho chokes away in the corner and Carlito wipes himself with the flag, which seems to be enough to fire Cena up again. An enziguri into the Walls have Cena in trouble but he kicks Jericho into Carlito, which apparently counts as a tag. The real comeback is on as Bischoff is nearly breaking the flag at ringside. Cena sends Jericho to the apron and hits the FU on Carlito for the pin because the Intercontinental Champion needs to lose AGAIN.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great here but the storytelling makes Cena look very strong going into Summerslam. It might have been a better idea to have Cena lose (via cheating of course), because it’s a little hard to get behind Jericho beating Cena on his own when he couldn’t with the help of the Intercontinental Champion. The match was good enough, but I’m not wild on the booking.

Post match Jericho chairs Cena in the face in a scary shot.

It’s time to wrap up the Diva Search. First though, we need a long video on how they got here, because they need to try and make it more important. And Ashley wins, meaning she shouts about how great the fans are.

Edge vs. Val Venis

Lita is here with Edge in the battle of Canadians, meaning Val gets the strongest reaction he’s had in years. Edge pounds him into the corner to start but Val is back with running clotheslines and the knees to the ribs. The gyrating is on for a bit and Val knocks him up the aisle for a bonus. Edge drives him back first into the apron though and Edge puts on a bow and arrow to crank on it even more. Val gets in the comeback until an Edge-O-Matic cuts him right back down. The spear sets up the Edgecator to make Venis tap.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash but Venis is always someone who has worked hard in the ring, which was the case this time as well. I guess the submission is to throw a curve at Matt, though the feud has cooled off pretty badly since Matt was officially rehired. It might be good in a way, but it’s nothing compared to what it could have been.

Hurricane and Rob Conway argue over Stacy Keibler.

Hurricane vs. Rob Conway

At what point is your career worse because you’re a Tag Team Champion? Conway suplexes him down into a quickly broken chinlock so he knees Hurricane outside. Back in and a running neckbreaker gets two but Hurricane fights out of a neck crank. It’s too early for the Shining Wizard though and Conway grabs the Ego Trip. The top rope elbow finishes Hurricane.

Rating: D. Conway is trying to do something with this and it is far from a failure of any kind. It wasn’t a good place for this match to take place though as it came after an Edge match and right before Hogan wrestles. It wouldn’t matter what Conway did here because the fans would have forgotten the whole thing. You know, because Hurricane losing is memorable.

Summerslam rundown. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse.

Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

The posing goes on for a long time before the bell and Hogan even catches Angle’s attempted cheap shot. For a bonus, Hogan puts the bandanna and glasses on Angle before punching him again. They head outside with Angle being sent into various steel objects but he’s back with the stomping as they get back inside. The chinlock goes on to keep Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops for the classic Hogan spot. Angle knees him in the back and hits the Angle Slam, only to trigger the Hulk up. The big boot looks to set up the legdrop but Shawn runs in for the quick DQ.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? Hogan can barely move and hasn’t been a regular wrestler in a long time so Angle wasn’t about to suplex him all over the place. The ending was a good touch to things as well as they found a way out without having either of them take a fall. Just….get a bit better wrestling.

Post match Shawn loads up Sweet Chin Music but instead puts on the Sharpshooter to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Shawn’s classic promo did what it could here but they were running with an anchor. The problem feels like you have the haves and the have nots at the moment, as anyone who isn’t on Summerslam has nothing to do. It doesn’t help that the Intercontinental Champion is just a helper in the boss’ feud with the World Champion and that the Diva Search winner is treated as a bigger star than the Tag Team Champions. It’s going to be nice to get past Summerslam, but I’m worried about what’s next for them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than three weeks away from Summerslam and this week has a big title rematch. Last week Chris Jericho helped Carlito defeat John Cena to earn the title match this week, even though it’s pretty clear that we’re coming up on Cena defending against Jericho. Other than that, we have more on the Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho to get things going. He and Eric Bischoff have been working on a BRILLIANT plan to get the WWE Championship off of John Cena. First of all, we saw Cena’s exposure as a fake rapper and then as a fake champion after Carlito beat Cena with a completely fair referee. After a quick clip of Carlito winning thanks to a low blow, Jericho gets serious to promise Cena some pain at Summerslam. Cue a charging Cena and the fight is on, with Bischoff sending security out a few seconds later. With the fight broken up, Bischoff makes Jericho guest referee for Carlito’s title shot. Cena looks crushed, as expected.

Big Show/Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky/Chris Masters

Fallout from last week. It’s a brawl before the bell with Show throwing Shelton inside and pulling Snitsky outside. We settle down to Shelton shouldering Masters and bringing in Show for some headbutting. The huge chop lets Show mock Snitsky’s pain but Masters’ attempt at a cheap shot completely fails. Show tosses him over the top for the big crash onto Snitsky and we take a break.

Back with Shelton hammering on Snitsky some more but having to deal with Masters again, allowing Snitsky to block the Stinger Splash. Masters hits some backbreakers for two, followed by the bearhug. A powerslam gives Masters two and it’s back to Snitsky for the chinlock. Shelton finally gets two off a rollup to Masters but a backslide is countered with a heck of a clothesline. Back up and Shelton finally gets in a neckbreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag to Big Show. House is cleaned with splashes and running shoulders but Snitsky kicks Show in the face. Not that it matters as Show chokeslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was VERY long and dull but I’ll take whatever gets Shelton going again. I don’t expect it to last at the moment, but at least he finally got something back. I don’t know what kind of a future Masters and Snitsky have, though it’s not like there is anyone else doing anything at the moment in the tag division (including the champions).

Here’s Eugene, now with Christy Hemme as his literal cheerleader, for the Eugene Invitational. The hometown hero is….Kurt Angle, with Eugene demanding to know where his name is and where he is from. Angle gets so annoyed that he admits he isn’t from Connecticut so there’s no match. Sure Eugene said he was from Cleveland last week but that was pretending and this is real! Angle brings up that this is an Indian casino and asks who could really be from here. And now, for your random cameo of the week.

Eugene vs. Tatanka

Eugene is rather pleased that Tatanka can drive him back into the corner so Tatanka shoulders him down for two. They fight over the arm with a minute gone and Lawler talking about Christy’s pom poms. A chop puts Eugene down and Tatanka tries the warpath to a non-existent reaction. The top rope chop to the head gets two on Eugene with just under a minute left. Eugene hits an Angle Slam and pulls down the non-existent straps. The ankle lock goes on and Angle comes in for the DQ. Tatanka can’t take a loss here? Really?

Post match Eugene and Tatanka clear the ring. That’s a bad tag team at a legends of wrestling event if I’ve ever seen one.

Post break a furious Angle promises to get his medal back next week in Pittsburgh. Next week, he’s making Eugene REALLY special.

We look at Kane losing the stretcher match and kidnapping Lita to blow off some steam.

Carlito and Jericho rant about Cena and nearly come to blows. Bischoff comes in to calm things down, saying Jericho’s job is to make Carlito WWE Champion. Now go come up with a plan. Jericho thinks a fast count is in order.

Vince McMahon arrives.

Here’s Vince in the ring for a major announcement. This is the 636^th episode of Raw, putting the show past all other original shows for total episodes. The classy thing to do would be to thank the fans, but Vince thanks himself instead. He has a history of making good business decisions, like bringing back people or concepts that make him money. That’s what he’s doing again tonight as he brings back a former WWE superstar. This man has been wrecking havoc backstage and now he will be facing Edge at Summerslam: MATT HARDY.

We see Matt walking through the back before hitting the arena for a big reaction. Matt says he should thank Vince but it was the people who brought him back to Raw. Unlike Vince, Matt is willing to thank the fans for getting him back here. Matt recaps the entire love triangle with Edge and Lita, including real names and breaking kayfabe by talking about how the marriage to Kane was just on TV.

The story came out and the fans let Edge and Lita know how they felt. Then he heard 20,000 people chanting WE WANT MATT in Madison Square Garden so now Matt is back to destroy Edge’s life. Matt promises to hurt Edge at Summerslam and he WILL NOT DIE. It’s a big moment, but after Matt popped up a few times, it was hardly some game changer.

Vince is in the back and runs into Kerwin White, but he’s been rich for so long that he’s forgotten what it’s like to be middle class. Vince leaves and Kerwin longs for some polo.

Rob Conway vs. Val Venis

Conway debuts his “Just Look At Me” song and wrestles in sunglasses because he’s now something like Buff Bagwell. From now on, he’s doing things the Con-Way. JR is incredulous over the sunglasses as Conway starts with a headlock. Venis runs him over and the glasses fall off, sending Conway over the edge. Conway is so mad that he gets wristlocked and hammerlocked, though he does get in an elbow to the jaw. An exchange of forearms on the floor doesn’t last long but Conway snaps him throat first across the rope.

The beating against the barricade keeps Val down and it’s time to crank on the neck back inside. Venis spins out into a Blue Thunder Bomb as the announcers make porn jokes about Venis to fill in some time. A reverse Figure Four sends Conway over to the ropes as we get a loud THIS MATCH SUCKS chant. I’d go more with it’s not that interesting but it doesn’t suck. The Money Shot is broken up and a hanging swinging neckbreaker (the Ego Trip) finishes Venis.

Rating: D. Conway feels like someone who belongs in another era, as you could see him being a star in something closer to the territory days. On Raw in 2005 though? This really didn’t click, though part of that is due to the match being Conway vs. Venis. Who is going to look at this and see something they might want to watch? Conway could be fine in the midcard, but don’t expect to see me care about him with a heel character that isn’t exactly groundbreaking.

And now, Shawn Michaels imitates Hulk Hogan on a fake Larry King Show, getting in every old joke that he can think of and talking about how different he is outside of the ring. With about five BROTHER’s per sentence, Shawn takes a call from Battle Creek, Michigan, where he’ll never go again because Hulk only makes the big towns brother. We get a long and good Shawn highlight video, capped off by the superkick to Hogan.

Shawn, in Hogan pose: “…..brother….”. Before the match, “Hulk” has a lot of politicking to do with Vince. We hear about how Shawn failed when Hogan bailed on the company for more money because Shawn would rather work as hard in Battle Creek, Michigan than he would in Madison Square Garden. It won’t matter though because (“You know something Mean Gene!” Larry: “It’s Larry King!” Hulk: “It doesn’t matter brother. I’m selling tickets!”) he’ll prove himself at Summerslam.

Hulk gets a bad cramp but he’s fine enough to superkick Larry and rip off the wig. Hogan has a reality show, but at Summerslam, reality is kicking him in the face, just like Shawn kicks the camera. Shawn is great at this stuff and even though it’s pretty easy to mock Hogan, you can tell Shawn is in this one hard. That being said, you can imagine how Hogan is going to take this because he’s a little serious about himself. Shawn at least feels like he’s saying something though and it’s coming across even with the comedy stuff. That’s more than Hogan has done, as he’s just promised to beat Shawn up. More of Shawn’s stuff please.

It’s Diva Search time and Summer is cut. Yes another good looking blonde is out, leaving the rest to try Queen of the Mountain (the duel with big sticks). Hold on though as here’s Rob Schneider of all people to promote Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. Schneider: “As you battle, do not be distracted by my boner.” The four do their tournament, Schneider isn’t funny, Schneider gets physical on the big inflatable mat, Elizabeth wins. So much for them not spending as much time on this stuff.

We recap Carlito vs. Cena from last week.

Raw World Title: Carlito vs. John Cena

Bischoff is at ringside, Cena is defending, Carlito’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Jericho is guest referee. Jericho gets in a distraction to start so Carlito can hammer away at the bell. Cena’s early comeback is cut off by Jericho and a crazy fast count gets two. Jericho helps Carlito send him shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with Carlito hitting a running neckbreaker for a fast two and the handicap match continues.

Cena tries a suplex but Jericho breaks it up so Carlito can hit a DDT for two, despite Cena being all over the ropes. A flying shoulder drops Carlito and Cena spears Jericho, only to get taken down from behind again. We hit the chinlock again but Cena powers out, meaning it’s time for another cheap shot from Jericho.

They head outside with Jericho pulling the pad off of the barricade. Even Jericho gets in a ram but Cena comes back with the shots to the face. The usual looks to finish but Jericho won’t count, meaning Cena goes after him again. Jericho breaks up the FU, only to hit Bischoff by mistake. Cena clotheslines Jericho to the floor and hits the FU to get the retaining pin from another referee.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one. They didn’t waste time hiding what they were doing here but there was no chance that they were going to change the title with a Summerslam main event ready for them. The idea is there, but was there NO ONE but the Intercontinental Champion for this spot? Throw Snitsky in there or something but find a better way to protect the title.

Post match Jericho hits Cena low and busts him open with a TV camera. The Walls go on and Bischoff slaps Cena a few times, sending JR over the edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Matt coming back was cool (yet it would have been better had he just gotten into the fight with Edge some other way), Shawn’s deal was funny and that’s it for your positives on this show. A fifteen minute Masters/Snitsky match? The same main event we had last week? ROB SCHNEIDER AND TATANKA??? They had a few ideas here (Conway is at least a genuine attempt to push someone new and I can go for that) but the bad stuff really cripples anything good the show could have had. It’s not a failure, but they need to get rid of the awful stuff in a hurry because it’s killing what good things they have.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are officially on the road to Summerslam and that means it’s time to crank things up. Now granted that doesn’t mean much of a change around here as a lot of the matches have already been set up or at least made clear. Tonight we’re getting a Diva Search segment plus a battle of the bands between Chris Jericho and John Cena, because we’re just lucky that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s nightmare of a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Kurt Angle Invitational but he isn’t in the mood to waste time. Therefore, get the opponent out here right now. This brings out….Christy Hemme? Angle is rather confused but likes the idea, suggesting they start in the referee’s position. Christy says don’t flatter yourself because she has another opponent in mind, and he happens to be from Cleveland.

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

It’s Eugene’s first match since January due to the knee injury. Angle doesn’t get it as Eugene isn’t from Cleveland. That means Eugene takes off his jacket to reveal a Cleveland Browns jersey, but Kurt isn’t convinced. A Duck Season/Rabbit Season bit doesn’t work either but Kurt says Eugene is making him mentally challenged too. Angle jumps him from behind and we start fast with Angle ripping off the jersey. Wouldn’t that be an improvement?

Anyway, Kurt chokes with the jersey and hits him with crossface shots to the jaw as the dominance is on in a hurry. The fans get on Angle as he unloads in the corner but a ram into the buckle wakes Eugene up. The comeback is on as we only have thirty seconds left. Angle blocks the Stunner and there’s the Angle Slam but the ankle lock is rolled through, sending Kurt outside and Eugene beats the clock.

Rating: D+. What do you say to this? It’s a squash until Angle slips on a banana peel to lose to a returning comedy guy. Christy being in Eugene’s corner doesn’t fix a lot of his problems, like the fact that he’s still Eugene. It was nice to get a payoff though, even if it might not be the best idea in the world.

There’s a mini Viscera. What else do I need to say to that?

John Cena comes in to see Eric Bischoff and talks about thinking he was Scott Baio for a while. Now though, he knows he’s the WWE Champion. Bischoff wants a more down to earth champion though and calls Cena white trash. Cena: “Ooooh.” Bischoff calls all rappers scum and slime and turns around as the camera zooms in on him. We wait for it to zoom out for the big surprise, so after promising to make Cena miserable, we pan over to see….that Cena has left.

Viscera/Cloacas vs. Antonio/Pocket Rocket

Yes it’s a mixed tag and Pocket Rocket is a mini Heartthrob. Rocket takes over to start and gets in the dancing as Coach and Lawler get in the jokes you would expect. The beating keeps going for a few minutes until the cheating fails, allowing Viscera to come in off the hot tag. Viscera beats up both Heartthrobs, stares at Rocket for punching him, tosses Rocket to the floor and lets Cloacas hit a splash on Antonio to set up the pin.

Rating: F. Nope.

The ambulance arrives, because we need Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match.

We get a tribute to Lord Alfred Hayes, who passed away earlier in the week. It’s almost strange to see him as a wrestler.

Bischoff puts Shelton Benjamin in a handicap match instead of the No DQ/No Countout match he wanted against Carlito. Shelton has to face Gene Snitsky and Chris Masters, which he says is like Bischoff’s breath: it stinks.

Maria thinks Chris Jericho is here with Fozzie Bear and wants to know if the other Muppets are going to be here. Jericho isn’t pleased and asks what a limp biscuit is and rips on Cleveland. He’s ready for the battle of the bands.

It’s time for the battle of the bands with Cena, accompanied by Trademarc and Bumpy Knuckles, performing Bad Bad Man live.

Post performance, here’s Jericho to say that was awful. This isn’t the crowd for Fozzy to perform in front of though, because this crowd is biased against him. Therefore, Cena wins by default but he’ll lose at Summerslam. Jericho leaves and Cena and company perform My Time Is Now. This is in no way shape or form an excuse to see the Diva Search girls dancing in swimsuits in the back.

Shawn Michaels sees himself in a mirror and screams for makeup.

Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito. If Carlito can beat Cena tonight, he can have a title shot next week. Carlito finds this cool, especially since Jericho can be referee

Here’s Shawn, in the heelish suit, for a chat. Shawn promotes Hogan Knows Best to silence (Shawn: “Then you’ve seen it.”) but doesn’t want a reality show. He doesn’t want to be a rapper or a rock star or an actor. No he’d rather be the best in-ring performer the WWE has ever seen. Hogan is living off a reputation he created twenty years ago but Shawn is out there every night proving himself all over again. Hogan lives in a million dollar home built off the sweat of every fan at home.

After all that though, the best Hogan can give you is some posing, which Shawn demonstrates. Shawn says this building is quiet because the people in the back are freaking out. He’s shooting you see, but you can’t fire him because he’s the Summerslam main event. If you wanted the old HBK, you’ve got him. Years from now, people are going to remember him as the icon. So whatcha gonna do when Shawn rolls over you at Summerslam?

We look at Eugene winning again. Next week: the Eugene Invitational.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Snitsky jumps Shelton during Masters’ entrance but gets clotheslined to the floor in a hurry. That means the big flip dive from Benjamin and both villains are taken down. Back in and Snitsky pounds Shelton down in the corner so Masters can grab a front facelock. Shelton finally kicks him away so Snitsky gets in a cheap shot. Snitsky demands the Masterlock so on it goes….and Shelton is out.

Rating: D. Remember about a month and a half ago when Shelton looked ready to jump up to the next level? I’m not sure if he’s gotten a pin since then and it doesn’t look to be anything better going forward. At least he’s getting a feud away from Carlito, but Masters might not be the brightest future.

Post match the beating continues so Big Show makes the save.

It’s Diva Search time and Cameron is out. This week’s contest is a hot dog eating contest and it takes them the full minute to finish a single hot dog. Since there is a tie, Leyla has to win a thirty second eat off for immunity. I can only hope, but this felt like they knew they needed to pull the plug and didn’t give it much time this week. Please let that be the case because I can’t take much more on this show.

Kane vs. Edge

Stretcher match with Kane jumping him from behind during the entrances. The beating starts around the ring with Kane ramming him into various things, including the barricade and the steps. It’s too early to get Edge across the line though so Kane throws him down the ramp instead.

Back from a break with Kane in trouble for a change but the Edgecution is broken up. Kane hits the top rope clothesline but Lita takes a chair away from him. That means the spear to cut Kane down, only for Edge to realize it’s not that simple. Kane gets back up so Lita kendo sticks him in the knee.

Edge’s hard stick shot to the head puts him back down and gives us the smallest….well it’s not a trickle…..we’ll say dot of blood I can ever remember. Kane sits up to block the Pillmanizing and chairs Edge off the top. A chokeslam drops Edge onto the stretcher but Lita is right there with the briefcase to Kane’s back. Edge saves Lita from the chokeslam onto/off of the stage and a briefcase to the head is enough to give Edge the win.

Rating: D+. This was another example of the same thing that they’ve done a few times now and I don’t need to see it again. It’s beyond clear that this is heading for Matt Hardy vs. Edge but we can’t do that because Kane vs. Edge can’t end already. Just let it end already because it’s completely done at this point.

Post match Kane pops up and Tombstones Lita on the stage. As luck would have it, we have a stretcher right there. As Edge panics, Matt runs down for a few shots but security breaks it up.

Post break Lita is being loaded into the ambulance but Kane pops in again, punches out a cop, and steals the ambulance. Coach: “When is enough enough?” I’d love to hear WWE answer that.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Bischoff is watching from the stage. Cena knows he’s in trouble here but backdrops Carlito anyway. Carlito gets in a shot to the face to put Cena on the floor Jericho is willing to count and even takes away Carlito’s chair. The distraction lets Cena hit his clothesline for a fairly slow one count.

Another shot lets Carlito take over in the corner and an elbow gives him two, with the same speed from Jericho. Carlito hits a flapjack for two and the chinlock goes on. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but Cena is back with the fisherman’s suplex. Carlito runs him down again and we’re in another chinlock. The knee to the ribs gets two but Cena fights up. The FU is loaded up but Jericho kicks Cena low and hits the Lionsault to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. The idea here was that Jericho was calling the match down the line and for some reason JR bought it. Jericho yells at Cena as usual earlier in the night, referees fairly with the evil boss watching for eight minutes and then the turn (Was it a turn?) is shocking? I can go with the idea of throwing in the mini feud with Carlito to give them a bridge to Summerslam, but the shock and awe at Jericho being himself is a little much.

Overall Rating: D-. This was a rough one with nothing good in the ring, a bunch of stuff that felt like it was there because no one else was watching, and whatever that Viscera stuff was. Some of the matches could have been worse but with nothing good all night and a bunch of stuff that made my head hurt, the show is as close to a failure as you can get without going all the way over the line.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2005
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re getting closer to Summerslam and that means things are picking up with some of the bigger stories. You can guess a lot of the Raw matches from here and that means they have a clear directive going forward. Now the question is how well they can make those goals work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Lilian Garcia announces an Intercontinental Title match but here’s Eric Bischoff to cut her off. We see a clip of John Cena giving him an FU last week and that’s not cool with Bischoff. He’s thought about firing Cena but instead he has some better punishment. Tonight, it’s Cena vs. Gene Snitsky in a lumberjack match. Sounds like punishment to me.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and the title can change hands via countout. Carlito knocks him into the corner for some stomping to start but Shelton nails a running clothesline and the Stinger Splash. The springboard shoulder puts Carlito on the floor so he considers leaving, only to pause so Shelton can hit the clothesline off the apron. Shelton gets caught on top though and Carlito stomps away in the Tree of Woe. We hit the waistlock to stay on the ribs but Shelton fights back up and hits the Dragon Whip. That’s fine with Carlito, who hits him low for the DQ, because we need to do this AGAIN next week.

Rating: C-. I’m completely over seeing these two fight and now they’ve set up another rematch. Shelton should have come off his huge Intercontinental Title reign and moved up to the main event scene but instead he’s stuck coming up short to Carlito over and over. The match wasn’t even good and you could guess the ending as soon as they mentioned the countout stipulation.

We look at Shawn Michaels’ explanation and superkick to Roddy Piper from last week.

It’s Kurt Angle Invitational time but first, Kurt talks about how he gave us some drama last week. He was never in any danger of losing to Matt Striker but let the clock get down to a second left to make the fans believe they could see a miracle. Like the Eagles winning the Super Bowl! Anyway get the opponent out here. Cue Matt Striker again, who calls himself Matt Martel again, this time claiming to be from Philadelphia. The fans cheer for him because HE SAID THE CITY’S NAME! Angle explains the whole thing and calls out the lies so there’s no match. Or maybe we can, with Angle jumping him from behind.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker

Angle hits an uppercut but Striker pulls a choke out of nowhere to put Angle down. That stays on for about a minute and a half until Angle throws him off. The Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Striker at 2:35. I have no idea why they needed to do the exact same deal again but with less drama.

It’s Diva Search time, but before we get to the elimination, we need thirty seconds each to hear who they would vote off.

Ashley: Cameron, because she would be better off on a runway in Paris.

Leyla: Simona, because she doesn’t have what it takes to be a Diva.

Summer: Simona, because she belongs on the cover of Vogue instead of being a Diva.

Kristal: Elizabeth, because she’s too talented of a dancer and actress to be here.

The BORING chants began right around here in case you were wondering.

Elizabeth: Kristal, because she is a great painter and should explore that instead.

Simona: Summer, because she would make a great lingerie model instead.

Cameron: Ashley, because she’s tough and hardcore and would be better as a street fighter.

Simona is voted off as at least these things are getting a little shorter each week.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Kerwin White, with his golf club, is in Bischoff’s office. Eric suggests that White try Scottsdale, Arizona for all of its golf courses. White: “That’s a little too close to the border.” Chris Jericho comes in so White leaves, allowing Bischoff to thank Jericho for standing up to him last week. Jericho has an idea of how to stick it to Cena: a BATTLE OF THE BANDS next week! So we’re getting concerts and the Divas in one week? And this is their BEST idea of how to draw an audience?

Shawn Michaels isn’t worried about Hulk Hogan being here tonight. He gave the fans what they wanted by having Hogan wrestle one more match so now let’s see what Hogan has.

Masterlock Challenge for $20,000, Rosey accepts and loses, Masters says it doesn’t matter how big you are, Big Show comes out, Masters turns it down, takes about seven minutes total.

Edge isn’t worried about facing Kane in a cage tonight but it’s going to keep all of the other psychotic losers out. He has spent the last six months listening to geeks on keyboards telling them how to live their lives and that’s CENSORED. Of note: Edge refers to Lita as his girlfriend, meaning the whole engagement deal is over. So much for trying the wedding again.

Here is Hulk Hogan to respond to Shawn Michaels’ challenge from last week. We pause for the long form Hogan chants before Hogan can thank the fans for making Hogan Knows Best the highest rated premiere ever on VH1. Last week, Shawn Michaels superkicked him to get his attention. Well now Shawn has it, but if he wants an answer to his challenge, come see him face to face.

Cue Shawn to apologize for stealing just a bit of Hulk’s thunder, but that’s what he’s all about. He would get in the ring to join Hulk but if he did, we would have to wait another two weeks for Hogan to wake up from some more Sweet Chin Music. Shawn has heard people promising to end Hulkamania for years but it has never happened.

So what makes Shawn different? Then it hit him: he has never faced someone with the unbridled passion that Shawn possesses. No one has taken Hogan to that other level because everyone falls prey to the myth of Hulkamania. Shawn doesn’t see it though and thinks if Hogan accepts the challenge, he’s going in there with the main event, the icon and the showstopper.

Hogan talks about paying the price in this business WAY before Shawn started wrestling. When Shawn was graduating high school, Hogan was selling out the Philadelphia Spectrum. The challenge is accepted for Summerslam and Hogan hits the catchphrases. This wasn’t very good, as Hogan vs. Michaels isn’t exactly a match that needs a big, epic story. It kinds of sells itself and they would have been better going in that direction.

Jericho gives the lumberjacks a pep talk, encouraging them to get a little physical with Cena if they’re given the chance.

Kane vs. Edge

In a cage with Lita at ringside. Hold on though as Matt Hardy jumps the barricade before the match and tries to get at Edge but security takes him down. Edge even gets in a kick to the ribs and a lot of beeping ensues. We’re joined in progress with Kane cutting off an escape attempt but getting taken down with the Edgecution. This time it’s only good for two as Kane is right back up with the uppercut and side slam.

Edge is back up to catch Kane on top and they slug it out until Edge hits a spear against the cage. A splash against the cage makes it worse but Edge still has time for a quick kiss from Lita. Kane is busted open a bit but he’s fine enough to throw Edge face first into the cage. There’s another side slam and the top rope clothesline connects, giving us a very bloody smile. Edge tries to get out over the top, earning himself a crotching on the rope.

A running big boot sends Edge head first into the cage again but a low blow breaks up a chokeslam attempt. Another attempt at a climb is countered with a hard powerbomb for two but Edge sends him into the cage again. The spear gets two so Edge crawls to the door, only to get pulled right back in. Lita slips him the briefcase but it’s a chokeslam to put them both down. Kane goes up, leaving his back open for some briefcase shots. A big briefcase shot to the head lets Edge climb out for the win.

Rating: C. They hit each other a lot, they did their signature stuff, and there was no reason to believe that Kane was ever going to win. As soon as Matt Hardy showed up again, Kane became obsolete in this feud, which isn’t much of a fall as he was hardly a big deal for Edge over the last few weeks. Just get on to Matt so Kane can do something else.

Smackdown Rebound.

Maria asks John Cena if he’s worried about fallen trees in his lumberjack match. Cena makes penis references and asks Maria to go get his flannel shirt. Maria leaves and after a confused face from Cena, he makes some gay jokes about Bischoff and Jericho and promises to be violent.

Next week: a Battle of the Bands and Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match. Why? Well what else are they going to do?

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title lumberjack match. Snitsky gets smart (I’m surprised too) by sending Cena outside for the short form beating. Cena sends him outside for a change and it’s exactly what you would expect. Back in and Cena hits a backdrop, only to be sent outside again for a second beating. Cena is so annoyed that he dives outside again and tries his luck but gets sent into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Cena in a cobra clutch after another beating during the commercial. A spinebuster puts Cena down again but he starts the comeback, only to get pulled outside by Jericho. That means some rams into various things so Snitsky can hit another cobra clutch. Cena comes back again but has to deal with Jericho, meaning it’s a heck of a clothesline to give Snitsky two.

The chinlock goes on so Cena comes back AGAIN, this time with Kurt Angle running in to break it up while the referee is distracted. The lumberjacks beat Cena up again to give Snitsky two so Cena grabs a DDT. Cue Shelton Benjamin and Big Show to lead the charge of some good guys to go after the lumberjacks. With everyone else gone, Cena FU’s Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: D-. They could have shaved off ten minutes or so from this and done almost the same thing. Cena was trying as hard as he could here but Snitsky’s peak ring time is about four minutes. I’m not sure how many times they did the same sequences (lumberjack beatdown, rest hold, Cena gets cut off by interferences) but they had me running out of patience in a hurry. Really boring match that felt even longer than it was.

Jericho is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a really weak effort as they seemed to be repeating almost everything (Carlito vs. Shelton, Striker vs. Angle, the Diva Search, Kane vs. Edge) and nothing was worth seeing. It was almost like they took the week off here and the last half was really hard to sit through. This was one of the weakest shows they’ve had in a long time and I don’t particularly want to see how bad next week is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2005
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week removed from the earth shattering split of Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan, whose friendship dated back all of two months (with about six weeks off in the middle). Tonight we start the build towards what is almost guaranteed to be a big time Summerslam match, but there is one more important thing to deal with: one of the interchangeable women in the Diva Search is going home! Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn superkicking Hogan last week. It may not be the best angle but that really is a dream match and a battle of the generations.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to start things off with Carlito’s Cabana. Everyone is talking about Carlito and his show and last week, his guest was Hulk Hogan himself. Carlito knows that the fans want answers so here is his guest this week: Shawn Michaels. Well that would be the case if Shawn had turned Canadian, started wearing sunglasses and become Chris Jericho. Carlito isn’t sure what is going on but offers to let Jericho sit back and have an apple.

Jericho isn’t having that because he’s on a roll right now and therefore should be running this show. It’s time to clear things up a bit, meaning Jericho wants the Jeritron 5000 down here so it can be the Highlight Reel. Jericho tries to bring out Shawn instead, but Carlito cuts it off and says Jericho is too fat to be the host of this show. Love handles are NOT cool you see. Jericho calls him gordo and dubs himself Chris Canadian Cool. He refers to Carlito as Sideshow Bob and knows Shawn doesn’t want to be on an amateur talk show like this one. Shawn would want to be on Johnny Carson’s show, not Carson Daly’s.

Jericho tells Shawn to get out here right now but it’s RODDY PIPER instead. Roddy takes us further into the past by calling Carlito Buckwheat before saying that tonight, Shawn is in Piper’s Pit. So we just spent nearly fifteen minutes arguing which talk show someone is going to be on. Shouldn’t the bigger issue be why we have so many talk shows?

Video on the Asian tour.

Chris Masters vs. Tajiri

Fallout from Tajiri misting him two weeks ago. Masters jumps him at the bell to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Tajiri kicks his way out of trouble and the handspring kick to the face puts Masters on the floor. The ECW chants start up as Tajiri kicks him down for two more. A tornado DDT is blocked so Tajiri kicks him in the head for another two instead. The Tarantula is countered into a faceplant and the Masterlock finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D+. Tajiri’s kicks are always worth a look/listen but what else were you looking for here? Masters is just so boring and there is no way around it. It isn’t helping that he has been around here for months now and his big win is over Tajiri. They haven’t done him any favors and it’s getting less interesting every week.

Gene Snitsky comes in to see Edge and Lita as they are watching their wedding video. After a few highlights, Edge asks Snitsky some help with Kane tonight. In exchange, Snitsky can have Lita’s…..feet. He tries to suck her toes as a preview but that’s too far for Edge and Lita. Snitsky has to complete his mission first and then they’re all his. I REALLY don’t want to know who came up with this but I do want whoever it was to stay far away from the writing room.

We see HHH being taken out of the Cell two weeks ago.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Carlito is defending after having beaten Shelton in back to back title matches. Shelton punches him down to start and a suplex gets two. The dropkick is good for the same but Carlito is back with his own dropkick. Shelton is right back up though, meaning it’s time for Carlito to take a breather.

Back from a break with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock so Carlito sends him outside in a heap. The LET’S GO SHELTON chants get on Carlito’s nerves so he stomps away and grabs another chinlock. With that broken up, Carlito chokes away on the ropes for a good bit instead. The third chinlock goes on, which really shouldn’t be the case in a match that has been going for ten minutes.

Rating: D+. Too many chinlocks in a short match can hut things a good bit, as can just walking out to retain the title. That being said, it does fit Carlito so it doesn’t come out of nowhere. I’m not sure how this warranted a trilogy either, but odds are we’re going to see it again soon and that isn’t exactly appealing.

John Cena and Eric Bischoff are arguing in the back.

Here is Cena for a chat so we’ll start with the sucking up to the crowd. He’s glad to be here but hang on because we need some cheer soaking. Now though, Cena needs to worry about Y2 Cheap, who was talking about beating Cena up last week. That’s not how Cena remembers it though because Jericho believes he can take the title anytime.

Cue Bischoff, who doesn’t seem happy about….well anything really. Bischoff shrugs off the fans and says Cena will defend the title whenever Bischoff says so. Cena really doesn’t like that tone and thinks he’s being provoked but here’s Jericho to interrupt. Bischoff calms things down in a hurry and gives Jericho the Summerslam title shot. As you might expect, Jericho is rather pleased and calls Cena a thug.

That’s too far for Cena, as tends to be the case for him. Jericho cuts him off and says that he’ll be the biggest star in WWE and sell EVEN MORE RECORDS. Cena knows Jericho is looking forward to living off the cheap sauce in cheap land but he’d rather fight right now. That’s a no, but Jericho does promise to win the title. With Jericho gone, Cena gives Bischoff the AA to blow off some steam (Bischoff holding the mic and begging until he hit the ground was great). It was a good exchange, though Jericho doesn’t exactly come off like a major challenge to the title here.

It’s time for the first Diva Search elimination. That would be Alexis, who is actually a pretty blonde if you can believe that. With that out of the way, it’s time for a talent competition and egads take me now.

Ashley has been training to wrestle so she monkey flips Christy Hemme.

Leyla has to wait for the referee who prevented her wardrobe malfunction last week because she wants to dance for him. As expected, it ends in a low blow.

Summer backflips into the splits, and then does it again because it took about five seconds out of sixty.

Krystal, who is dressed as a French painter, including a mustache, pulls off her clothes to reveal a swimsuit and then pours paint over herself so she can roll around on some paper.

Elizabeth dances, albeit with a police theme so she handcuffs Christy to the ropes and spanks her.

Simona pulls out a sword and gyrates in front of Coach.

Cameron gives Christy a lap dance. Christy: “I think she’s done that a few times.” Coach: “Christy I think you’ve done that a few times.”

Every time I think that they’ve hit the all time low point of wasting time, we get something like this. Sweet goodness this was AWFUL as they continue to manage to make good looking women in little clothing feel worthless.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the debut of the Kurt Angle Invitational on Raw. He explains the rules (three minute time limit, the opponent only has to survive to win the gold medal) and brings out this week’s opponent: Matt Striker, a former teacher who called in sick to be able to go wrestle. Angle has already beaten him once in Philadelphia (in February), though Striker says he’s from New York here. Angle: “Man you lie a lot!”

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker

Feeling out process to start until Angle takes him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Angle uppercuts him in the corner and hits a hard belly to back suplex as we hit the halfway point. Striker gets in some right hands but walks into an overhead belly to belly. The straps come down but Striker sends him shoulder first into the post with less than a minute to go. Angle gets back in with about twenty seconds left so Striker hammers away in the corner. A low blow has Angle in trouble but he picks the ankle and makes Striker tap with a second left. I knew the ending and they had me wondering how they were going to pull it off. That takes talent.

Kane laughs at the idea of getting to face Edge.

Edge and Lita are on the way to the ring when MATT HARDY runs in from behind him and gets in a few shots. The fans take a second to realize who it is but then go nuts when they figure it out. Lita screams at Matt, who stares back at her but then runs out the door when security shows up. This was a heck of an angle and one of the best bits of shock value I’ve seen from them in months.

The Boogeyman is coming as the generation’s cast continues to grow.

Kane vs. Edge

The fans start chanting for Hardy as Kane hammers away in the corner. Edge manages to send him outside for some forearms to the back but Kane gets in an uppercut. The fans are still gung ho for Matt, even as Kane hits the good looking side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline but Kane goes after Lita, drawing in Snitsky for the DQ.

Kane and Snitsky brawl into the crowd and it’s Matt running in from the other side to go after Edge. They brawl a bit until referees break it up with Matt heading to the floor. Matt calls Edge a b****** and Lita a w**** before saying something about Ring of Honor until security takes him down. I’m not sure I would have done both segments in one night but DANG this worked and felt like the first must see angle in a long time.

We look at Shawn turning on Hogan again.

Here’s Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit to wrap things up. He doesn’t waste any time with wacky references before bringing Shawn out for the explanation. Piper asks why Shawn did it last week and hands him the mic for the explanation (alas without a congratulation because turning on Hogan would be a very Piper thing). Shawn talks about spending twenty years trying to give the fans something to remember. No one has left them with more Wrestlemania memories than him or had a bigger impact on the direction of this industry than he has.

Back at the Hall of Fame, Shawn heard the ONE MORE MATCH chants so he knew what he had to do. Shawn sacrificed himself to give the fans what they want. Now he knows Hogan will have one more match and…..pause for the HOGAN chants….that Hogan will be immortal, but Shawn sees it differently. In this instance, perception is not reality because at Summerslam, it’s Shawn vs. Hogan. At Summerslam, Shawn will prove that immortality has a price.

Piper still wants to know WHY though because Shawn can’t fool him. It was the fans who made him a four time World Champion. Piper remembers Shawn asking him for advice when he was coming up and Piper told him how to make the main event because Shawn was worth it.

Now though, Piper is ashamed of him and wants to know why Shawn threw everything away. Shawn says he’s given his answer and is ready to go but Piper says get back in here. Piper says Shawn is a coward so there’s the superkick, allowing Shawn to go into serious mode. The slow walk up the ramp ends the show. This didn’t give a very detailed explanation but I’ll take something like this over “I don’t owe you a thing” every day.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a show where the angles carried things but there was only so much they could do to get around Snitsky’s foot fetish, the Diva Search thing and a bunch of matches that felt like nothing more than filler material. The angles kept things going well enough, but they need to fix up the rest of the show if they really want things to work. The Hardy thing was outstanding though and exactly what they were looking for, as well as something the show needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2005
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’ll start the second half of the year with this one and that could mean a few things. We’re likely in for a bigger show due to the holiday, but I’m not sure how much effort there is going to be for a show where they know no one is watching. The Draft is over as well so this is your roster for the time being. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tonight: Carlito’s Cabana with Hulk Hogan.

Opening sequence.

Cue Kurt Angle to say he doesn’t approve of fans praising Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair (in a recent poll) more than him. He made Shawn tap at Wrestlemania, just like he made Hogan tap the last time they faced each other. Now he wants to make Brooke tap, meaning he gets punched as well. The double teaming is on but Shawn runs in for the save. A tag match seems imminent.

Post break, Shawn is in Eric Bischoff’s office to yell about what just happened.

Edge/Snitsky vs. Kane/Big Show

Kane throws Edge into the corner and hammers away to start so it’s off to Snitsky, with Edge getting in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts all of a half second as Show comes in and whips Snitsky all over the place. The threat of a chokeslam sends Edge bailing to the floor and Kane chases Lita to the back as we take a break.

Back with Snitsky working on Show’s leg until the other leg to the face breaks it up in a hurry. It’s not enough for a tag though as Edge gets in another shot to the leg, allowing Snitsky to yell a lot. A double middle rope shoulder gets two on Show with Edge’s eyes bugging out. Show is right back with a double suplex and the hot tag brings in Kane. House is cleaned with the side slam on Snitsky and Edge headbutting Edge from the apron. Back to back corner splashes set up the chokeslam to Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match here with Lita being taken away so Edge couldn’t cheat to win as easily. Show probably should have gotten the pin to establish himself a bit more here but it’s not like it matters all that much. Snitsky’s push has come to a grinding halt, but it’s not like it was any secret that it was coming sooner rather than later.

Shawn comes out of Bischoff’s office and the tag match is official for later.

Here are the Heart Throbs to hit on Lilian, who needs some comfort after Viscera dumped her at Vengeance. They’ll make Viscera scream no no no and if Lilian likes what she sees, she can scream low low low.

Viscera vs. Heart Throbs

Lilian cries through Viscera’s entrance. The Throbs get thrown into the corner to start but mange a double shoulder to put Viscera down. Stomping in the corner sets up a crotching against the post….and that’s a DQ to give Viscera the pin.

There has been an eleven person trade between Raw and Smackdown. Chavo Guerrero is now on Raw, who is now bald and has a sweater wrapped around his shoulders. He hasn’t been all that successful and it’s because he’s Hispanic. Therefore, he has renounced his Hispanic heritage and is now Kerwin….White. Oh and Maria is stupid.

Here is the trade:

To Raw

Mark Jindrak

Rene Dupree

Danny Basham

Kenzo Suzuki

Hiroko

Chavo Guerrero

To Smackdown

William Regal

Candice Michelle

Sylvain Grenier

Simon Dean

Steven Richards

The Hurricane, Rosey and Stacy demonstrate how to put out sparklers with Rosey being lit on fire.

John Cena tells Maria to not worry about what someone named Kerwin thinks about her. Cena hits on her a bit and Maria smiles a lot.

Here’s Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He wanted to have a special guest just like Carlito so he has a big music star of his own. That would be John Cena himself and he is very happy to be here. Jericho: “JOHN JOHN JOHN!” Cena: “CHRIS CHRIS CHRIS!” Cena is on a roll right now as WWE Champion and he even has a concert coming up in Philadelphia. Jericho on the other hand was the first Undisputed Champion and has played hundreds of concerts, including at the Download Festival in England. And yes, he does have a clip!

Cena isn’t impressed, so Jericho lists off the bands he played with at the festival. That’s still not enough, so Jericho gets in his face to talk about his legendary status. Jericho says he could take the title from Cena whenever he wanted so Cena gets fired up. The people aren’t stupid because everyone remembers when Raw Was Jericho. Now though, Jericho Is Cheap. Jericho has taken everything he’s done and covered it in cheap sauce. The fight is on with Cena getting the better of it until referees break it up. Cena was showing the fire here and you can see it in his eyes more and more every week.

With the good stuff out of the way, it’s time for Sgt. Slaughter’s Bikini Boot Camp obstacle course for the Diva Search girls. Coach and Christy Hemme are the hosts and bring out Slaughter, followed by the women. We go over the course, which includes jumping jacks, a potato sack, a jump rope and more. The winner gets immunity from being eliminated. Coach demonstrates and gets a time of 48 seconds. The women all go, Leyla falls out of her top and is disqualified, JR and King list off factoids about each, and Elizabeth wins. This ate up over fifteen minutes.

We recap the opening segment.

And now we’re back to the women to see how to vote for them.

Rene Dupree vs. Val Venis

Dupree is announced as part of the BLOCKBUSTER TRADE and promises to prove that he is the greatest specimen to ever set foot in the ring. Venis starts fast with the running knees to the ribs but Dupree pounds him down. A knee lift and backdrop have Dupree in some trouble, only to have him come back with a rollup with feet on the ropes for a fast pin. This was nothing.

Smackdown Rebound.

Angle and Carlito think it would be cool to hurt Shawn and Hogan.

Carlito/Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels

Hogan shoves Carlito away to start so Angle comes in and gets shoved down as well. It’s off to Shawn to work on the arm with an ax handle into an armdrag. The villains switch off again and it’s Shawn armbarring Carlito for a change. Angle comes in again and gets chopped in the corner and everything breaks down for a bit. Shawn and Hogan clear the ring and even dust off their hands as we take a break.

Back with Carlito kneeing Shawn in the back so Angle can hit the overhead belly to belly. Another suplex gives Angle two but Shawn fights out of the chinlock. The dropkick misses but Shawn is fine enough to counter the Angle Slam into a DDT. That’s enough for the hot tag to Hogan and the big boot drops Carlito. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor and it’s the legdrop for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally standard Hogan tag match here and there’s nothing wrong with going that way. It’s the best thing he could do at this point and he still does it well enough. That being said, it was a rather standard and uninteresting match, though Hogan’s comeback will never not work for me. I’m split on Carlito taking the fall as he’s the Intercontinental Champion, but he’s also by far the weakest of the people involved.

Post match a lot of posing ensues….until Shawn superkicks Hogan. The place goes QUIET on that one before some Hogan chants pop up. Shawn stares down at Hogan and the fans aren’t sure what to do as Shawn leaves to end the show. So that worked, and you can pick a few different motivations for Shawn.

Overall Rating: C-. The Cena vs. Jericho and Shawn turn stuff was awesome but the rest of the show was a mixture of bad wrestling and the eternally long Diva Search nonsense. It got more time than any match and while I get the point, it is one of the most annoying things I can ever remember WWE doing. The two big things carried it, but the rest of the show is pretty terrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 16, 2005
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s both a fallout show and one of the last shows before the next pay per view as we are stuck between One Night Stand and Vengeance. Normally Vengeance would not mean anything, but the Draft has shaken things up to the point where some people on this show might be on Vengeance anyway. That makes for an interesting time, as does the lack of a World Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chris Benoit being announced as the first Draft pick last week.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham

Benoit starts with the chops and there’s a hard whip into the corner to make it worse. Basham knees him in the ribs and starts hammering away, including a suplex to set up some posing. The chinlock goes on, followed by a neckbreaker to keep Benoit down. Another neckbreaker is cut off and Benoit baseball slides the leg out. The rolling German suplexes rock Doug but he catches Benoit on top with a superplex. Basham tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Bashams are fine enough in their role and that is all they should be doing. It isn’t supposed to be some big competitive match as Benoit is one of the best in the company and needs to be established on Smackdown. The match was fine enough, but it was something that came and went as it should have. This would actually be the last match we would see from either of the Bashams and they were fine for what they were, but they were so wasted during the whole Shaniqua deal that their careers were dead in the water for a long time. I’m not sure how much better they could have been, but that was awful.

Post match the Cabinet beats Benoit down but Undertaker makes the save. Theodore Long comes out to make JBL vs. Undertaker in a No DQ match tonight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Paul London

Non-title. London charges to the ring and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Some right hands get London out of trouble but a powerbomb puts him right back in. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the chinlock for a few moments. London fights up again and hits a leg lariat, only to get crotched on top. Eddie grabs a brainbuster (and nearly drops him) and puts on a Texas Cloverleaf (with a maniacal look) to make London tap.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here, because a champion is the kind of person you squash. They couldn’t have had this be against Akio or have put someone other than London in the same spot last week but that’s what the Cruiserweight Title is for anymore. I’m not sure why they keep it around if this is what it means but that has been the case for years.

Post match Rey Mysterio comes out for the save and uses a chair to get rid of Eddie.

Post break Eddie and Rey are fighting in the garage area, including into a trailer. They slug it out and the door closes with Eddie diving through the door to escape and trap Rey inside.

JBL won’t give Orlando Jordan any help in his US Title match tonight. Jordan points out that he is the only champion in the Cabinet but JBL makes it clear that they work for him. He can’t remember who is Danny and who is Doug though and the Bashams quit.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with no Matt Morgan as he is getting ready for his match against Big Show. That’s for later though, so here are this week’s guests: Booker T. and Sharmell. Booker isn’t happy with Kurt Angle having been sent to Raw because they like beating him up. Carlito likes that idea but would rather talk about something romantic between Booker and Sharmell. Then he mentions Angle going after Sharmell and suggests that she could be sent to Raw without Booker. Sharmell doesn’t like the sound of that and Booker beats him up. They even throw apples at Carlito, which is rather wasteful.

Post break Carlito yells at Morgan, who has to go fight Big Show.

Matt Morgan vs. Big Show

Show wastes no time in taking him into the corner for the big overhand chops. An elbow gives Show two as Carlito comes out. The distraction lets Morgan get in a big boot to put Show on the floor and it’s off to the chinlock. That’s reversed into a suplex and some headbutts put Morgan outside. Show gets sent into the steps and Morgan loads up the announcers’ table but Show is back up. The chokeslam is loaded up but it’s a chair shot from Carlito to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Carlito continues to be quite the nuisance but at least the match was better than dealing with the stutter again. It’s so sad to see Morgan wasted like that but maybe the partnership with Carlito is coming to an end. The wrestling was barely a thing here as it was all about setting up the ending.

Post match Show shrugs it off and hits the chokeslam to put Morgan through the table. Show stalks Carlito away.

We recap the Undertaker’s return from earlier.

US Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Orlando Jordan

Holly is challenging as I try to figure out the criteria for getting a title shot. Jordan gets stomped into the corner to start as Tazz talks about championship opportunities being few and far between. What is this, Holly’s fourth or so in about a month? Jordan gets in an elbow to the face and a suplex is good for two. A hurricanrana and some clotheslines drop Jordan and a top rope clothesline does it again. The Alabama Slam is broken up so Holly tries a sunset flip but Jordan grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: D. What in the world do they see in Jordan? I don’t remember the last time I saw him do anything memorable and the matches are getting less and less interesting. Holly isn’t exactly thrilling but he completely outshined Jordan here. That being said, it isn’t like it’s all that difficult to do.

Eddie vs. Rey next week.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No DQ. Jordan is here with JBL but cue Benoit to take care of him before the bell. Cue the gong and JBL is in trouble. JBL gets aggressive to start and pounds away in the corner….which goes as well as you would expect. An exchange of big boots goes to Undertaker and it’s time to pull on JBL’s arm. Old School connects and the Downward Spiral gets two.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker whipping him into the steps but getting reversed into them on a second attempt. Serves him right for being so mean. Undertaker gets crotched on the barricade and we take a break. Back with JBL hitting a flying shoulder (always looks good) for two and getting the same off a swinging neckbreaker. Undertaker gets in a shot to the face to start the slugout so JBL goes to the eyes.

That doesn’t seem to do much as Undertaker boots him in the face and hits the apron legdrop for a bonus. Back in and JBL gets crotched on top and superplexed for two more and they’re both down. Snake Eyes into another big boot gets another two, followed by the chokeslam for the latest near fall.

A low blow gets JBL out of the Tombstone attempt though and the Clothesline From JBL gives him his own two. JBL gets in some right hands in the corner and poses as an idiot. The Last Ride out of the corner is only good for two in a move you don’t see getting kicked out of too often. The Tombstone is loaded up but here’s Randy Orton, as the new Smackdown Draft pick, for the RKO to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C. I know he gets a lot of flack (though I’m not sure how much of it is earned) but JBL can do some perfectly competent brawling and that was the case here. There were a few too many near falls but they didn’t go nuts with the weapons and had a nice enough match. The stipulation was to allow the brawling and the ending so all in all, this wasn’t too bad and the time went by quickly.

Post match Orton says Undertaker got RKOed and he better get used to it because Orton is now on Smackdown. Orton does his pose for a great shot as the shadow goes over the metal set.

Overall Rating: D+. The Draft couldn’t come at a better time because this show has some real weak spots. Look at the middle part of the show: stuttering Matt Morgan (again: bad gimmick), Orlando Jordan vs. Hardcore Holly in a title match, and the Cruiserweight Champion jobbing clean (yes it was to Eddie but they could have put in any cruiserweight and told the same story). That’s quite a run of bad in a row, meaning that it took the Undertaker to get Match Of The Night off of a departing Doug Basham. The ending was good, but dang that midcard needs an overhaul.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6