Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2005
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re on our way to Judgment Day and that means we should be in for Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Most of the time you have to worry about how the big match is going to go but how bad can a Mysterio vs. Guerrero match go? Other than that, we continue the build to John Cena vs. JBL II. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey vs. Eddie, with the latter attacking Rey again last week. Chavo Guerrero seems to be causing all of this, which adds another layer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, on foot and debuting Can You Feel The Heat as his new theme music. He grabs a chair and has a seat, plus a spotlight for a bonus. Everyone has been asking why he took Rey out last week and it’s simple: he was giving Rey what he wanted. He pulls out Rey’s mask and shouts DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY??? It’s Rey’s fault and what else could he have expected Eddie to do?

Rey drove him to this, plus all of these people. The fans have been living off of his Latino Heat but he got it all back last week. Eddie likes feeling like this and grabs the camera, demanding that it listen to him. He tells Rey to think about his son and daughter, because Eddie is about to hurt their papa. Rey has been talking about returning at Judgment Day, but Eddie advises against it. Right now, Eddie has his blood on his hands and if Rey comes back, Eddie will have his life.

This was GREAT and one of the best things WWE has done in a long time. It’s an excellent example of things only making sense to the heel, who is the only one that needs to understand what is going on. Eddie sees things differently and has been driven to everything he’s done by his jealousy. Yeah it was an extreme response, but it was everyone else’s fault because he hadn’t done anything wrong. Eddie sold the heck out of it too and looked crazed and angry, which is a rather dangerous combination. Excellent stuff here.

Heidenreich vs. Spike Dudley

This however is not likely to be excellent. Before the match, Heidenreich talks about asking Spike to be his friend but Spike said no. Heidenreich knows he can find a friend here and picks a kid out of the crowd. The kid, Jordan, would like to hear one of Heidenreich’s Disasterpieces, which is about looking for friends before he fights. Jordan gets to be in Heidenreich’s corner as Spike beats Heidenreich up in another corner.

Spike even comes outside to yell at Jordan so Heidenreich makes the save and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich still isn’t any good but if you have him as something goofy like this, he’s a lot less annoying. This is the last Spike match we’ll be seeing and he would be pretty much out of the mainstream wrestling scene in about two years. For someone his size, he had quite a nice career and that’s pretty impressive.

Sharmell comes in to see Booker, who gives her a kiss and a spank. They wind up on a couch and laughter ensues.

Chavo talks to MNM about Eddie being so vicious lately. There’s a six man tag later and Paul London is looking for partners. Chavo approves of this new partnership.

We look back at Kurt Angle chasing Sharmell last week and nearly putting her in the ankle lock.

Angle says that Sharmell started it by slapping him first. He wouldn’t have done anything to her because he doesn’t hurt women. No, Angle makes them feel very good. Everyone has vices and his happens to be “gutter sl***s like Booker T.’s wife.” Angle knows he probably has some psychological disorder but he needs to say something.

Angle: “Booker, I want to have sex with your wife. And I’m not just talking any kind of sex with your wife. I’m talking, you know, that kind of bestiality sex with your wife. That kind of perverted sex.” The fans rightfully boo this out of the building because WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? I mean I know it’s Vince (or maybe Angle) but what could have been a good feud just went flying off a cliff and bounced all the way down.

MNM/Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London/Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

London works on Nitro’s arm to start and it’s quickly off to Charlie to stay on said arm. A shoulder breaker and a middle rope knee to the shoulder keeps Nitro down as everything breaks down for a bit. Mercury gets in a cheap shot to take over on Haas and Chavo comes in for a belly to back suplex. Haas fights up without too much trouble and dives over for the hot tag off to Holly. London comes in with a double high crossbody and a hurricanrana to Chavo as everything breaks down again. Chavo can’t get the Gory Bomb on London but he can get a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and that’s all you could expect in something like this. The Cruiserweight Title is rather worthless but that has to be expected. Chavo is a good choice for a heel but he has been around the thing for a long time now and we need something fresh. It isn’t a good combination for a not great match and a boring story and that’s what we had here.

John Cena had an autograph signing for his CD.

Here is JBL for a chat. He plugs the re-release of his financial book, which is receiving the best reviews since the Bible. You can find it in bookstores and online, but you won’t see it with a parental advisory, which Cena’s CD has. Cena is a bad example and role model, along with being a bad champion. JBL talks about everything he’s been through in the last years but he has never quit. Those words never came across his mind and at Judgment Day, he is busting Cena open and making him quit.

JBL will find out that Cena is who he says he is and that is a wrestling god. Throughout the world, the fans will be chanting his name….and here’s Cena to interrupt. The fight is on but the Cabinet comes in to take Cena apart. Of all people, Funaki, Nunzio and Shannon Moore come out for the save. With that being his best hope, Cena fights up himself as the locker room comes out to keep them apart. The fight breaks out again and gets broken up just as fast as Cena is rather pleased with the whole thing.

Post break, here’s everything you just saw.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Another one of those future names who means nothing at the moment. Eddie kicks away and elbows him in the face to start but stops to yell at Mysterio’s mask on the post. He even puts the mask on Jacobs and hammers away before tossing him outside as the dominance continues. Back in and Eddie grabs a chair, thinks about it with a crazed look on his face, and hits Jacobs with a brainbuster onto the chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the wrestling but rather just showing how crazy Eddie has gone over the last few weeks. The hyper intense Eddie is a very fresh twist for him and it’s making things more interesting. It helps when you have someone who can perform at this kind of a level. Not a good match, but very good character stuff.

Post match Eddie yells at the mask, saying Rey better not show up.

Judgment Day rundown.

Cole and Tazz talk about Cena’s music video.

And now, Cena’s music video.

Matt Morgan vs. Funaki

Before the match, Morgan talks about how people make fun of the way Funaki talks while stuttering heavily. SEE, IT’S FUNNY! A big boot knocks Funaki silly and another shot to the head knocks him out. The suplex into the Rock Bottom finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Raw Rebound.

Booker tells Sharmell to stay in the back tonight. That does not bode well.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and his guest this week is the Big Show. Carlito gets straight to the point: he wants Show to be his bodyguard. Show: “You want me to play second banana to you?” Carlito: “No…..we don’t do bananas here…..we do apples.” Carlito shows us some stills of Big Show in the sumo match at Wrestlemania, which was embarrassing. They could be unstoppable together, but Show says he needs Carlito as much as he needs a bigger shoe size.

Carlito grabs the apple but Show grabs him by the throat and eats the apple. Before the chokeslam goes through, Show hunches over and grabs his stomach. He can’t get up and Carlito says that it can only take one bad apple to spoil the bunch and Show just ate that apple. Carlito pours the apples over him and leaves Show laying. That’s some very lucky foresight from Carlito, though I don’t know how much we can expect from the match.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

No Sharmell and Booker is rightfully ticked. Booker wastes no time in hammering Angle down and stomping away in the corner. Angle’s right hands don’t work very well so Booker heads outside for a chair. When the referee cuts that off, Booker gets sent into the steps and it’s time for some American stomping back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Booker is right back with the side kick and right hands to the head. Angle manages to pull the trunks to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s the Angle Slam. With Booker down, Angle runs off to the back. Booker follows and the match is a double countout somewhere in there.

Rating: C-. Much like the Eddie match, the wrestling wasn’t the point here as the match was just a means to an end. The Angle/Sharmell stuff is much more creepy than anything else and while I can get the idea behind it, there comes a point where it isn’t a good story anymore as much as it is disturbing. That promo earlier took it to the latter and that’s not a good thing.

In the back, Angle goes into Sharmell’s locker room and shuts the door as screaming is heard. Booker runs in and gets jumped by Angle as Sharmell keeps screaming. Angle: “Come on Booker. You want some? Cause I want your wife!”Angle rams him head first into a locker and leaves as Sharmell screams even more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the angles were a lot more important than the show and that’s not a bad thing. Most of the stories were good enough with Eddie being outstanding, JBL vs. Cena being quite good and Angle vs. Booker….well Eddie was great. The wrestling didn’t play a big part here but we can do that once we get to the pay per view. Not a good shot, but check out that Eddie stuff as it’s getting to be a major treat.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2005
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means this show is going to be more about John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, which is almost all that matters from Smackdown. Odds are we’ll get some more on the interpromotional matches but John vs. John is the only exclusive Smackdown match that has gotten any focus so far. Maybe that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at last week with JBL and the Cabinet costing Cena the US Title to Orlando Jordan in a smart and logical next step.

Here’s the Cabinet to open things up, complete with security, which hopefully coordinated with the Bashams. JBL talks about how they’ve done something cool every week and this week it’s time to honor someone who values respect. That would be Jordan, who won the US Title last week all by himself. The CENA chants begin and JBL tells them to stop cheering for the loser.

We hear a bit about Jordan’s past, growing up with several brothers and sisters in the inner cities. Jordan did the right thing: he turned his back on his family and here he is as the US Champion and the people in the seats watching him. JBL is a wrestling god and can show these people how great everything can be. Common people can never stand here with championships and….what is Jordan holding? JBL looks disturbed by the spinner title (well yeah) because common people like Cena put things like that on their cars instead of investing in education. That’s why we need to do what we’ll be seeing next.

A trashcan is brought in and, after a rant about what Cena has ruined about the title, JBL puts it in the can and lights the belt on fire (with the can exploding in something Kane would fine excessive). JBL presents the traditional US Title to Jordan and we get some solid heel posing. They kept this short and the segment and promo both worked. Thank goodness it wasn’t on Raw as HHH would have made it ten minutes longer.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No DQ because WWE wants us to suffer. Heidenreich slugs Booker into the corner to start in the only thing he does remotely well. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Heidenreich slowly stomps away in the corner. In a smart move, Booker kicks him low because he can get away with it here, sending the announcers into near hysterics over the pain.

Heidenreich seems fine as he sends Booker face first into the announcers’ table and then the post for a bonus. Back in and Heidenreich punches even more, followed by a hard clothesline for two. Heidenreich brings the chair in but takes too long crawling around, allowing Booker to ax kick him onto said chair. A scary chair shot to the head knocks Heidenreich cold for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was a conclusion to a story that didn’t warrant a second part, let alone a third, but it was an emphatic way to end things. However, it also (again) showed just how useless Heidenreich was in the ring. Most of his offense was punching and he looked incapable of doing anything beyond entry level stuff. Booker, as well as everyone else involved, deserves better than that.

We look back at Randy Orton challenging Undertaker for Wrestlemania.

Theodore Long isn’t sure what is going to happen when Cena gets here tonight. Carlito comes in and Long has a job for him: find out Undertaker’s response to Orton’s challenge. Do it or be fired.

Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero admire their Tag Team Titles when Chavo Guerrero comes in to wish them luck tonight. See, tonight JBL and Jordan have a Tag Team Title shot and Chavo wouldn’t want to be the only Guerrero with a title. Eddie: “No one’s grandma would be happy with that!” Chavo leaves and Eddie says it’s not his fault that Chavo is his nephew.

Carlito goes looking for Undertaker, because the only place he could be is in the bottom of the building. The lights go out and Carlito lets out a high pitched scream. A maintenance worker apologizes for turning them out because he didn’t know anyone was in there. That was kind of funny.

Mark Jindrak vs. Luther Reigns

Jindrak jumps him during the entrance but gets beaten down because Jindrak isn’t very good. They get inside with Reigns powering him down in the corner and pulling on the arm. Back up and Jindrak makes his comeback with every basic bit of offense you can imagine. A high crossbody gets two so Jindrak knocks him out with a left hand for the pin. Can these two be done already?

A ticked off Cena arrives, pipe in hand, and doesn’t want to be asked questions. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Josh Matthews.

Back from a break with Cena in the arena (makes sense because there would be no reason for him to wait in the back until after the commercial and wanting the noise killed. He and JBL both like to break things, but he likes to break faces instead of titles. So the Cabinet can get out here right now so we can handle this. No one comes out so Cena demands that they get out here so we can deal with this right now. Instead it’s Long coming out, saying he knows that Cena is a little razzle dazzled. Cena: “Razzle dazzled?”

Tonight Jordan and JBL have a Tag Team Title shot but Long has another idea: Cena can have his rematch for the US Title tonight. Cena would rather take all of them apart, but Long says we can’t have the Wrestlemania main event destroyed. That’s not cool with Cena, who thinks Long is sounding like JBL. Since that makes him part of the problem, Cena lays Long out with an FU. That didn’t quite fit with the rest of what Cena was saying, which was one of his first really serious main event promos, where Cena can excel.

Post break, Cena has been removed from the building.

It’s time for the Kurt Angle Invitational but this time around, the medal is above the ring. During Angle’s entrance, we see a clip from last week with a spot shadow on Shawn Michaels unmasking as a cameraman. Just in case you thought it was one of the people standing still and now revealing themselves to be a famous wrestler.

Angle talks about working hard to become an Olympic champion in 1994 but he kept hearing about this. We see a clip of the Wrestlemania ladder match, with Angle talking about how revered the match is. Angle knows he could put Shawn’s performance to shame, so tonight it’s a ladder match for the medal. Get an opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mike Haywood

Angle forearms him in the face to start and chokes with a knee in the back. The Angle Slam and an ankle lock let Kurt win probably the shortest ladder match in history.

Post match Angle sits on the ladder and says that wasn’t hard. He didn’t even use the ladder as a weapon. Now let’s jump to 1989, when Shawn made his Wrestlemania debut. We see a clip of the Rockers’ entrance before Angle says he’s arranged a match with Marty Jannetty next week. Shawn better be watching so he can learn what it’s like to tap out to Kurt.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund are found with Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Bobby begging not to let them drag him back in is hilarious.

Big Show accepts Akebono’s challenge to a sumo match at Wrestlemania. Something I had forgotten: Big Show getting together with Joy is a bit more interesting when you remember she was mentioned as a wife and mother during the Diva Search.

Wrestlemania rundown. There is still just one Smackdown vs. Smackdown match.

Carlito is looking for Undertaker but Torrie Wilson scares him out of his wits. Since he can’t find Undertaker, he’ll have to call him out in the ring. That was a rather worthless waste of time.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy shoot.

Here’s Carlito to call out Undertaker. He’s tired of this wild goose chase and now he needs an answer before he gets fired from Smackdown. Going to Raw is that out of the question for him? Anyway, it would be cool if Undertaker could give him an answer so there’s the gong. Undertaker does the full entrance, leaving Carlito to sheepishly ask about Orton’s challenge. Undertaker says that many have come at Wrestlemania, and like the rest of them, Orton will fall. The Tombstone leaves Carlito laying.

JBL tells the security to guard the hallway in case Cena comes back.

Hall of Fame video.

Next week: Orton and Undertaker sign the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

Mysterio and Guerrero are defending and the Bashams are out here too. Eddie and JBL start things off with Eddie suckering him in with a slap to the face. Thankfully commentary doesn’t waste time getting to a discussion of JBL taking the title from him here in Virginia last year. Some armdrags send JBL outside so Jordan comes in and holds his arms up. Eddie isn’t impressed and pokes him in the eye as casually as you can.

Rey comes in for a sliding dropkick to the knee and some kicks to the head. Again commentary does well as they explain that Jordan hurt his leg at a show over the weekend (that would explain the half trunks/half shorts). A shoulder lets JBL come in and he has to lean rather far down to say something to Rey. The powerbomb attempt is countered with some right hands and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo for two.

Eddie draws Jordan in so Rey can snap JBL’s throat across the rope and it’s more choking with the tag rope for a bonus. It’s back to Jordan, who actually has more success with punches and stomps in the corner. Rey’s comeback is cut off by a Bashams distraction and a big boot from JBL.

The Bashams are ejected for their efforts and we take a break. Back with JBL sending Rey outside with the fall away slam so Jordan can send him back first into the apron. The logical bearhug follows from JBL and Jordan gets in one of his own. Rey gets in a tornado DDT and brings Eddie back in as everything breaks down. The 619 is loaded up but JBL hits Rey in the knees with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were making sense for the most part though it was nothing more than a main event tag where we were waiting around for whatever Cena is going to do end the show. It was also clear that JBL and Jordan weren’t getting the other titles so close to Wrestlemania so while the wrestling was good, it was more about waiting around until the ending.

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Cena to clean house, including the FU to Jordan as JBL bails into the crowd. A lot of glaring ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The JBL vs. Cena stuff has been very well put together as JBL is feeling the promos, but it’s incredible how little else Smackdown is offering Wrestlemania. Yeah there are the two big interpromotional matches and they’ve gotten some time on these shows, but hearing about Big Show in a sumo challenge isn’t quite the same as the introduction of Money in the Bank. Wrestlemania really is a two match show at its core, but Orton vs. Undertaker and Michaels vs. Angle are doing a lot of good to prop up the rest of the show. Throw in Money in the Bank and we’re looking at a pretty stacked card.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

It’s still an awkward period for the company as there isn’t much going on and they’re sort of just going through the motions. The big things tonight are the rise of Randy Orton and the return of HHH to face King Booker in the Game’s first match since December. Other than that there’s nothing noteworthy on the show. It’s just such a dull time for the company and it shows in their major events. Let’s get to it.

The opening video comes off like a long TV show intro. Mysterio is back tonight and Batista gets another world title shot. The main event is covered a bit as well and they get ready to throw it to the arena but the video is hijacked by a $6 Million Man bit about rebuilding HHH. He’s already hijacking things.

Kane vs. Finlay

Kane has banged up ribs due to a recent attack by Finlay. Apparently Finlay knocked some coffee onto Kane and didn’t apologize. I’ve heard worse reasons for a brawl. Kane starts fast and uppercuts Finlay down in the corner and drops him with a back elbow to the jaw. The ribs are already bothering the big bald but he pops Finlay in the chin with more uppercuts. Finlay gets a boot up in the corner but Kane pops him with a right hand so hard it sends him to the floor.

Back in and Finlay gets in a shot to the bad ribs to knock Kane to the outside. A backsplash to the bad ribs is good for two and Finlay puts on a half crab. This has been very physical so far. Kane finally powers up and hits an enziguri to escape. A big boot drops Finlay and some clotheslines in the corner stagger him. Kane hits a one armed side slam which is a bit of a stretch given the rib injuries. JBL is doing a great job on commentary here, talking about how a rib injury affects how you move in the ring.

The top rope clothesline connects but he can’t follow up. Kane misses a charge in the corner and gets dropped by a clothesline. Cue Hornswoggle who runs from Kane, allowing the big man to hit a big boot on Finlay. Horny is thrown back inside but shoved down. Kane tries the chokeslam on Finlay but the ribs give out, allowing Finlay to hit a DDT for two. In a classic heel move, Finlay goes to unhook the buckle and uses the distraction to go for his club but the referee catches him. Horny throws in another club but Kane kicks out at two. Finlay misses a charge into the corner and the chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but I was really liking this match. It was a good choice for an opener with both guys working hard and pounding on each other with some solid force. The fans were into it too and popped quite well for almost everything in there. Kane sold the ribs well and the fans liked his comeback. Nice choice for an opener here.

All the GM’s are in the back at a party when Vince comes in and wants to know why there are no women here. That’s a good question actually. Vince says the mother of his illegitimate son will be here tonight. Santino comes in and suggests he’s the illegitimate son but Regal yells him away. MVP comes in as well to complain about Teddy Long and issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for anything other than a wrestling match. He leaves and Regal suggests that he himself is the son. Now Regal leaves and Coach suggests it might be Regal, but Vince apparently doesn’t like English women.

Rey Mysterio is coming back! Tonight! Why did we need a promo for this?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

No real story here other than Umaga is defending and these two are at the Intercontinental level. Kennedy tries to negotiate and gets punched in the face by Umaga. Carlito loads up the apple but gets punched as well, giving the champion complete control so far. The challengers fall out to the floor and finally start going after Umaga at the same time, though it has the same result. Carlito gets in a cheap shot from behind to send Umaga to the floor and Kennedy rams the champion into the steps.

Back in and Carlito gets two off a rollup but gets caught using the ropes. Everyone in this is either a heel or close enough to call them one. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow to the jaw for two on Kennedy but gets caught in a Stroke for no cover. Instead Kennedy goes after Umaga but gets pulled to the floor instead of getting in a cheap shot. Umaga hits a middle rope headbutt on Carlito but Kennedy saves Carlito from a charging Samoan.

Carlito knocks Kennedy to the floor and gets two on the champion before asking for an alliance with Kennedy. The champion won’t be double suplexed but easily hits one on the other guys. Umaga is back up first to clean house and a spinning Rock Bottom gets two on Kennedy. A superkick puts Carlito in the corner and a running hip attack crushes him again. Kennedy sends Umaga to the floor and hits a rolling senton on Carlito, only to have Umaga come back in with the Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. Umaga was fine for a monster and would soon be slain by Jeff Hardy. Kennedy was supposed to be in a huge story coming up but a Wellness violation derailed those plans. As for Carlito…..there’s just nothing interesting to say about him. He exists and that’s about it.

Undertaker is coming back. Again. Seriously there’s at least a five hour DVD of just his returns.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero. This time it’s a more standard story: Chavo is jealous of Rey’s success and injured Rey’s knee, setting up this match for revenge. Chavo even dressed up as Rey and wrestled a match to destroy a jobber’s knee.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

For some reason Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint. The fans are all over Chavo to start as you would expect. The heel goes right after the knee of course but Rey slips away before the damage can be done. They do the gymnastics routine out of a test of strength as the fans chant for Eddie. Rey’s paint is already coming off, making him look really stupid. Chavo tries to bend the knee around the ropes but is sent to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio.

Back in and Rey goes up but gets caught in the Tree of Woe which is similar to what hurt his knee in the first place. Guerrero goes right for the knee and asks him if he quits. Off to the Brock Lock (Chavo bends the knee around his neck) but Rey counters into a headscissors. Chavo stays on him though and hooks another leg lock until Rey FINALLY gets out with a kick to the head.

He tries for 619 but the leg gives out, allowing Chavo to put on a half crab. Mysterio finally gets to the ropes but the knee is still too hurt to follow up. This time it’s Chavo going up but getting pulled down into the Tree of Woe so Rey can go after the knee. The paint is entirely off Rey’s chest now, making it look like he’s been fixing up his house.

Rey hits a seated senton off the apron before hitting a hard kick to the head for two. Chavo catches a springboard moonsault press but gets countered into a tornado DDT for two. Chavo comes right back with a Gory Bomb for two followed by two of the Three Amigos. Rey spins out of the third and takes Chavo into the ropes for the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day there was no doubt that Rey was winning at all. It wasn’t boring but I liked last year’s action more. The story this year was better, but the paint and the obvious ending didn’t do it any favors. Chavo doesn’t work that well as a heel whatsoever.

King Booker says he’ll beat HHH tonight. That’s hilarious.

Divas Battle Royal

Beth Phoeix, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Jillian Hall, Melina, Maria

The winner gets a title shot at Candace Michelle at some point in the future and you don’t have to go over the top rope. It’s a Divas battle royal so you know this is going to come down to about three people as potential winners. It’s a huge brawl to start with Brooke (Miss Tessmacher) being sent out early. Jillian Hall eliminates Maria and those great little shorts of hers. Layla, who looks much better with curly hair, is out and the loud screaming continues.

Kristal actually knocks Victoria out and Michelle puts Kristal out a few seconds later. Kelly is thrown out and Mickie helps Michelle eliminate Jillian. Melina dumps Mickie and we’re down to Torrie, Melina, McCool and Phoenix. Melina screams a lot and takes Torrie down but gets clotheslined out by Michelle. Torrie and McCool go after Beth but Wilson is quickly tossed. Beth easily tosses for the win.

Rating: D. There’s just NOTHING to talk about in these things. It’s all about the girls looking good and while that worked, it doesn’t make for an interesting eight minutes of “action.” Beth would go on to dominate the division for several years as the wrestling was phased out in favor of models who MIGHT wrestle a match here or there. Then they brought in a second belt for some reason that didn’t work. Less than nothing of value here, other than looks.

Here’s MVP for his challenge to Matt Hardy as Beth’s music is still playing. He says no one bought a ticket to see the girls (likely true) so here’s the US Champion to entertain you. MVP talks about growing up drinking beer but now he drinks the finer beverages. Tonight though, he’s lowering himself to challenge Matt to a beer drinking contest. This was the latest in a LONG series of challenges before these guys actually had a match. It went on for over six months before Matt actually won the title at Backlash. They would even win the Smackdown Tag Titles in a few days.

Anyway Matt comes out for the contest and sounds drunk before the first can is opened. Matt says MVP isn’t better than anyone and is proud to be a common man. He knows he can out drink MVP, but tonight he isn’t going to try. A few weeks back MVP brought in a substitute for a boxing match against Hardy: former world champion Evander Holyfield.

The fans immediately get what’s going on and here’s Austin to drink for Matt instead. Gee good thing he was in the building and Matt knew it would be a beer drinking contest. Cole says this is fair. JBL: “THIS IS NOT FAIR! EVANDER HOLYFIELD IS JUST EVANDER HOLYFIELD!!! THAT IS FREAKING STONE COLD!” Austin does warmups before the contest and Stuns MVP before they drink the first beer. It’s hard to argue with these nostalgia moments as the fans went NUTS for Austin.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

Cryme Tyme comes in to see the GM’s and Vince and suggest they might be Vince’s son. They start talking about that money money yeah yeah and since this is WWE, it turns into a dance off with Regal stealing the show as always. Cue Ron Simmons for the obvious punchline.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Morrison is defending, having taken the title from Punk at Vengeance in what was supposed to be Benoit winning the title. John is freshly changed over from Johnny Nitro so he’s still rocking the poetry. Punk takes him down by the legs to start but John has him in a chinlock a few seconds later. They trade hiptosses until Punk slams him down to take over. Punk dropkicks Morrison down onto the apron but John blocks a suplex back in with a neckbreaker onto the apron.

Morrison pounds away at Punk and puts on something vaguely resembling a Tazmission. A knee to the ribs gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Punk misses the backfist but gets two off a rolling sunset flip out of the corner. A spinning cross body out of the corner gets the same and there’s the running knee I the corner. The bulldog, of course, doesn’t work but a powerslam gets another near fall for Punk.

Morrison comes right back with a backbreaker and neckbreaker for two but CM counters the flip neckbreaker (Morrison’s finisher) into a clothesline. A moonsault of all things gets two for Punk and he crotches John on the top rope. Punk clotheslines him down for two and a high kick has Morrison in trouble, but he manages to block a middle rope hurricanrana and put his feet on the ropes to retain.

Rating: C. Again this match could have been on any given episode of ECW on Sci-Fi, which is exactly where it was when Punk won the title nine days later. Why they didn’t just do that here is anyone’s guess, but I don’t think anyone really gave much thought to what was going on with ECW anyway. The match was pretty good but it needed more than seven minutes.

We recap HHH vs. Booker, which doesn’t have much of a story to it. King Booker was going after Lawler and Ross for not respecting him enough and HHH, noted defender of the little guy, is coming back to defend their honor. The hook is King vs. King but in other words, HHH is returning from injury and we need to feed him someone with some credibility.

HHH vs. King Booker

HHH’s return is of course over the top and not as good as the one in 2002. Booker gets in a cheap shot to start but HHH comes back with right hands. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor and a second clothesline does the same. Back in and Booker gets in some forearms but walks into the facebuster for two. Queen Sharmell finally helps her man out and Booker goes after the injured leg.

HHH counters a slam and takes out Booker’s leg before putting on a Figure Four. Sharmell interferes again to break the hold and a quick kick to the face gets two for Booker. Back up and they slug it out with HHH taking over by sending Booker to the floor. HHH whips Booker into the steps and gets caught in a spinebuster back inside for two. The Pedigree is escaped and the Book End gets two. The Houston Hangover misses though and the Pedigree is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. One former world champion squashed, dozens to go. HHH is back and the match was never in doubt at all. The match wasn’t even eight minutes long and yet again Booker looks like a goon against HHH, albeit with roles reversed from Wrestlemania XIX. Nothing to see here and HHH didn’t look like anything great.

We recap Batista vs. Khali but there isn’t much to say. Khali won the title in a battle royal due to Edge being injured. Batista challenged him to try to slay the beast. Khali is using a vice grip around this time.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Khali immediately takes him into the corner and chops him down. Some elbows to the head put Batista down again and there’s a hard clothesline for good measure. All champion so far. Batista falls down to the floor and gets back in for the big chop for two. Big Dave is sent shoulder first into the corner and there’s a nerve hold to really keep up the suck. The hold stays on for over a minute and a half, drawing a boring chant.

Batista finally hits a jawbreaker but Khali chops him down for two. Cole even acknowledges the boring chant. Batista blocks the vice grip to finally wake the crowd up a bit before hitting a spinebuster. The champion escapes the Batista Bomb and catches him coming off the middle rope in the Punjabi Plunge for two. Then to really screw over the fans, Khali’s manager sends in a chair and Khali whacks Batista for the DQ.

Rating: F. Oh come on. They’ve GOT to be screwing with us right? This wasn’t even seven minutes long and over a minute and a half of that was in a nerve hold. The fans were absolutely right in booing the match but the worse sign is they cheered for the comeback. It was clear they cared about Batista and wanted to see him win but the solution is to make them wait so Batista could win the title next month in a stupid three way.

Batista destroys Khali with the chair post match. Even JBL rips into Khali for such a lame ending.

Vince and Coach are wondering where the aforementioned woman is when Regal pops in to say she’s here. Say it with me: here are Mae and Moolah. Apparently Mae wants to give Vince another illegitimate son and you know what’s coming: Mae nearly molests Vince to death until Regal and Coach drag her off. Vince seems to like it. COMEDY!

We recap the main event. Cena has been champion for eleven months and Orton has been rising up the card as the legend killer. He was named #1 contender on Raw and spent the next several weeks RKOing Cena.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

They lock up to start with Cena taking over via a headlock. A hard shoulder puts Orton down and the fans aren’t pleased at all. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Orton fights up quickly. Back up and Orton hits a shoulder and headlock takeover of his own to take over. The fans hate Cena as he tries to grab the STFU but Orton makes it to the rope and pops Cena in the face to a big reaction. Orton was a mega heel coming into this match so the fans cheering him is very bizarre.

Orton pounds away even more but Cena comes back with a bulldog for two. A forearm to the back of John’s head puts him right back down for two though and momentum shifts again. Cena tries a leapfrog but Orton stops on a dime and blasts him in the head instead. Randy knocks him from the apron onto the announce table as the head trauma continues. Back in and Orton takes Cena down with a chinlock as the champion is in trouble.

Randy even lays on his back to crank even more but Cena fights up again, countering with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back up and Cena misses a charge, going head first into the buckle to shake up the head again. Orton stomps away on Cena including a hard shot to the back of the champ’s head. A knee drop misses Cena’s head but Orton takes him down with a powerslam for two.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Orton snaps off a gorgeous dropkick for two. We hit chinlock #3 but this time the suplex is countered into a headlock takeover to keep Orton in control. Orton hooks a bodyscissors to go with the chinlock but John fights to his feet and powers out of the hold before initiating his finishing sequence. The ProtoBomb puts Orton down but the Shuffle is countered by Orton’s over the back backbreaker. Orton’s Elevated DDT (Cena’s feet hanging on the middle rope) gets a very close two count and Randy is getting a look in his eyes.

Orton’s RKO (jumping cutter) is countered but Cena charges at Randy, only to go sailing over the top and out to the floor. Randy rams him into the steps and Cena is in big trouble. Back in and Cena gets in a quick shot to stagger Orton but gets crotched as he goes up. A superplex is blocked though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser, but Orton blocks the FU. A shot to the head puts Cena down again but his running punt to the head misses. There’s the STFU but Randy grabs the rope. Back up and the RKO takes Cena down for two. They get up again and the FU hits to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B-. While this wasn’t the epic showdown they were hoping for, it definitely was a good fight. Orton going after Cena’s head and not worrying about the consequences for the sake of winning the title made him seem ruthless but Cena never giving up was exactly what you would expect from him. Good stuff here but not great.

Overall Rating: D+. The show isn’t bad but I’m looking for more out of Summerslam than this. Orton vs. Cena was the match of the night and that’s just ok. That’s the best way to sum up most of these matches: just ok. Only two matches crack nine minutes here and that’s just not enough time for a lot of them. The show isn’t worth seeing, but brighter days were ahead.

Ratings Comparison

Kane vs. Finlay

Original: C

Redo: B-

Carlito vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Divas Battle Royal

Original: F

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Original: B+

Redo: C

HHH vs. King Booker

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Great Khali vs. Batista

Original: D-

Redo: F

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

DANG I liked this way too much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/10/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2007-hhh-is-back-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 26, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, JBL, Joey Styles

Well, it’s somewhat different this year but not by a lot. For one thing, Cena is the undisputed top guy in the company now, even surpassing HHH and Batista. HHH has been out of action since the Fall after tearing his quad again, and tonight is his epic return facing Booker T for no apparent reason other than he’s a big name for HHH to beat on. Your main event is Cena vs. Orton for the title, so you can really see how much difference two years makes.

I mean seriously, Cena was champion two years ago, so it’s not like they’re doing the same thing this year or anything. This was at the beginning of Orton’s rise to being one of the top dogs in the company as he is at the moment. He’d go on to win the title in about two months.On the Smackdown side, we have Batista vs. Khali. I don’t even need to make fun of that yet. Finally, the ECW Title has become much closer to what it is today, as we have Morrison vs. Punk for the belt. Also, this is about two months after the Benoit tragedy, and I’m going to leave it at that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2004
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with Survivor Series and unlike Raw, there isn’t much to go on at this point. Team Guerrero won the big match on Sunday and World Champion John Bradshaw Layfield retained the title by cheating to beat Booker T. There is one big match set up for this week though, as United States Champion Carlito defends against John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s a serious John Cena to get things going. Cena says the champ is back and talks about Carlito thinking he’s man enough to steal a chain. Carlito tried to have him taken out in a nightclub to take everything away from him. That’s why tonight we’ll see if Carlito is man enough to go face to face and handle his business. With the serious part out of the way, Cena starts rhyming about being on fire and how Carlito needs to retire. It’s time for the tides to switch and everyone knows that payback is a censored (their censoring, not mine). As usual, serious Cena brings the goods.

And now, Tough Enough. At least they didn’t open the show with them for a change. Chris Nawrocki still won’t quit. This week’s elimination: Chris Nawrocki. With that out of the way, the remaining five head to the ring where Snow introduces them again and it’s time for a challenge. This week there’s a flag set up in a corner and you have to get by the Basham Brothers to capture it. Al Snow reads off a bunch of rules, basically saying it’s grappling and strength instead of fighting.

Everyone has thirty seconds and it’s Mike Mizanin starting things off. He’s taken down with ease and the Bashams lay on him until a rope break lets Mizanin get up. The remaining nine seconds don’t work either and time is up.

Ryan Reeves goes next and powers into them, which works better but he still can’t get past the middle of the ring. He certainly got closer than Mizanin.

Daniel Rodimer is third and uses the size to get close but they have to stop the clock at nine seconds because they’re in the ropes. Why they didn’t stop it when Reeves was in the ropes isn’t clear but the Bashams take him down again and time expires.

Justice Smith goes fourth and tries a straight ahead approach, which gets him the closest so far, though still not that close.

Daniel Puder goes last and gets a foot or two away before being pulled back by the numbers game.

Snow says the Bashams win the contest.

Rey Mysterio walks in on Michelle McCool and Rob Van Dam stretching. This is in no way an excuse to have Michelle stretching in limited clothing or to have Van Dam bridging up from his back and managing to do the finger point anyway.

We look at Carlito’s debut where he won the US Title.

Carlito and Jesus come in to see Theodore Long with Carlito claiming a shoulder injury to keep himself out of the match. Even the doctor’s note and the x-rays aren’t enough to sway Long, because Cena was stabbed six weeks ago and is wrestling anyway. Carlito yells in Spanish but Long only understands Ebonics. Oh and swallow that apple.

Paul Heyman straps Heidenreich into the straitjacket and tells him that the match against Undertaker was a moral victory. Heidenreich is Undertaker’s own personal demon and Heyman has never seen Undertaker look at anyone that way. For tonight though, Heidenreich needs to focus on Charlie Haas. Heidenreich says let’s get this over with (amen brother), sounding more solemn than ever.

Heidenreich vs. Charlie Haas

Haas is ready to fight but Heidenreich needs to fold up his straitjacket so Heyman can hold it. Charlie jumps him from behind, knocking Heyman and the straitjacket to the floor. Heidenreich snaps and hits a shoulder breaker but doesn’t cover. Instead he slaps the mat and bails to the floor, shouting about how he didn’t fail until it’s a countout.

Post match Heidenreich goes into the crowd, lays on the ground, and shouts about how he can’t fail.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Non-title. Kenzo kicks Van Dam to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Rob picks Rey up and hits a double legdrop with Cole describing them as supple tonight. Uh, yeah. Kenzo starts in on Rey’s knee and Rene trips him to the floor like a true villain. With Rob making the save, Rey is fine enough to hit a top rope dropkick on Suzuki. Back from a break with Rey still in trouble and Kenzo possibly having a broken nose.

A top rope hurricanrana sends Dupree flying but Kenzo is right back in to whip Rey into the corner. The chinlock goes on as Cole talks about Kenzo being part of the Japanese national rugby team. Tazz finds this to be the most amazing thing ever and goes into a rant about Japanese baseball players for reasons I don’t think I want to understand.

Kenzo drops a knee for two and it’s off to an armbar. The sitout bulldog plants Kenzo and it’s off to Van Dam for the stepover kick and a top rope kick to the face to put Dupree outside. Rey’s springboard seated senton sends Kenzo into a sunset flip from Van Dam for two. The 619 into the Five Star finishes Suzuki.

Rating: D+. Imagine that: Suzuki and Dupree are enough to bring down two of the best performers in the company. This was another lame performance from the champs as they desperately need to drop the belts already. They’re a bad evil foreigner team and at the moment, Mysterio and Van Dam are the only viable option to take the titles.

We look at Carlito taking the US Title from Cena via shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. He’s the most giving superstar on the roster and to prove it, he’s introducing the Kurt Angle Invitational. Every week, a hometown star can get in the ring with him because he’s here to prove that no one can beat him. If by some miracle he loses though, the winner will receive his gold medal.

Kurt Angle vs. Dean Visk

Visk wrestled in OVW for awhile. Angle wrestles him to the mat for some slaps to the back of the head as the confidence is already high. Dean takes him down as well but Angle’s offer of a handshake is a ruse for a poke to the eye. It’s a belly to belly into the Angle Slam into the ankle lock to make Dean tap.

Orlando Jordan meets JBL’s new image consultant Amy Weber.

We look at Carlito denying being involved in John Cena’s attack.

Here are JBL and Orlando Jordan for the Survivor Series victory speech. It is morning in American and the swing state of Ohio is coming up JBL. Every few years, someone comes up head and shoulders above the rest. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Dominique Wilkins were great but then came Michael Jordan. Eddie Guerrero, Booker T. and the Undertaker have been cornerstones of this company but they came along in the JBL Era.

The fans here will remember this night forever and it’s all because of JBL. Since JBL has been champion, the economy is up, unemployment is down and there has not been a major terrorist attack on American soil. He is the symbol of America but here’s Booker T. to interrupt. Booker calls Orlando a house boy who slid the title in to save JBL’s championship. He wants a rematch right here tonight but here’s Eddie Guerrero.

Eddie isn’t here to disrespect Booker but he’s never forgetting what JBL did to his family. It’s time for Eddie to get the title back. Booker says this is his night…and there’s the gong. Undertaker comes to the ring and motions that he wants the title, sending JBL and Jordan running. JBL says he can say it in Spanish, hip hop and monster: none of the three of them are getting a shot. Theodore Long, four way, Armageddon.

Here are the Tough Enough guys. Each one gets a chance to get you to vote for him, with each of them saying it’s their dream to get in this business. Go vote.

Joy Giovanni works on Carlito’s shoulder because the Diva Search women are now just working in various jobs in WWE.

We look at Cena chasing Carlito out of Survivor Series.

US Title: Carlito vs. John Cena

Carlito is defending and has a bad shoulder. Cena beats up Jesus and throws Carlito into the barricade for some right hands to the head. A chair show crushes the shoulder and we get the opening bell. We also get the FU to give Cena the title back in less than thirty seconds.

Post match Cena goes to get the chain back but Jesus jumps him from behind, going after the bad kidney. A chain to the kidney has Cena down and the medics run in to check on him. Even Tazz is in there as Cena does a stretcher job to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling show with three matches too short to rate and a fourth that was rather boring. Cena winning the title back but going on the shelf again with the kidney deal is just about the same situation that we had before, albeit with Cena holding the title instead of Carlito. Other than that, it was a lot of talking to set things up for later, which doesn’t make for a good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2004
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first ever Smackdown in England and we’re coming off a big surprise last week when the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool won the US Title from John Cena. That wasn’t it though as Cena was attacked in a nightclub after the show, meaning he probably won’t be here tonight. However, we do get Hardcore Holly vs. JBL in a hardcore match for the World Title. That’s WWE’s gift to England: a Hardcore Holly title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Teddy Long addresses the roster, including Rey Mysterio in a black suit, about Cena’s condition. Apparently he wanted this to be kept quiet, which makes me wonder why it was mentioned on Raw. Cena was stabbed in the kidney and it’s not clear when he will be back. The show must go on and now we need a #1 contender to the US Title. Therefore, it’s a battle royal later tonight for a shot later tonight. The roster is happy and leaves with Carlito coming in to say what happened to Cena was bound to happen sooner or later.

Opening sequence.

The color seems a bit more washed out for some reason. Must be a British thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree rants in French, which somehow gets Kenzo Suzuki ejected. I’m not sure I get the connection there. Van Dam starts fast and monkey flips Dupree out to the floor but misses a suicide dive. The chinlock doesn’t last long for Dupree as he switches to the French Tickler, earning himself a SCARY release German suplex with Van Dam dropping him on the back of the head. Thankfully Dupree can still walk and even knocks Rob down before going outside for a chair. Rob kicks him in the face though and hits the Five Star for a fast pin.

The announcers get serious to talk about Heidenreich going into the crowd and attacking fans last week. The only thing we see is a kid crying for an effective visual.

Theodore Long yells at Paul Heyman for Heidenreich’s actions and rants about being responsible for the fans’ safety. They’re just lucky that they didn’t get sued. Tonight, Heyman and Heidenreich are going to apologize and they better be sincere. If Undertaker comes out there, they can deal with it.

Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman

Haas has a bad knee and no Jackie due to a neck injury, both suffered at Kidman’s hands. Charlie chokes away in the corner to start so Kidman gets smart and kicks at the knee like any intelligent villain. The knee gets wrapped around the post so here’s Dawn Marie to check on Charlie. Kidman doesn’t mind and hits the shooting star onto the knee for the pin. Using that as a weapon is an interesting way to go and Kidman has gotten a lot better in short order.

Post match Charlie gets put on a stretcher as Dawn screams a lot.

Luther Reigns rubs oil on himself and hits on the Page 3 girls. If they’re lucky, they’ll see him in action after the show too. They’re already seeing someone tonight though and of course that’s Eddie Guerrero. Reigns calls that a mistake and isn’t happy. Oh and he lied: they’re not that hot.

JBL is annoyed at what Undertaker did to him at No Mercy and now he has to face Hardcore Holly tonight. He’s a technical wrestler like Mil Mascaras or Bret Hart instead of a brawler. Now he has to come over here and defend the title in front of these barbaric fans. No one cares about England anyway but if the country was getting an enema, he would start it right here in Manchester. I’m sure Bret loved the comparison and stolen line in the same promo.

We look back at Cena losing the US Title last week.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Nunzio, Johnny Stamboli, Orlando Jordan, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Spike Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Rico, Scotty 2 Hotty, Rob Van Dam, Eddie Guerrero, Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, Funaki

The winner gets a US Title shot later tonight and I think I’ve got everyone. The fans are behind Eddie as everyone starts punching to start. Eddie backdrops Jordan out for the first elimination and Funaki follows him out thanks to Angle. Dupree and Suzuki throw Nunzio out but Dupree dumps Suzuki immediately thereafter. Stamboli and Spike go out next as the ring is cleared out a bit.

The remaining Dudleys get rid of Van Dam (pretty early elimination for him) as the fans are still behind Eddie. Rey gets rid of Bubba and D-Von at the same time and Rob runs back in to dive onto Bubba as we take a break. Back with no more eliminations and Eddie raking Reigns’ eyes to get out of a gorilla press attempt. Scotty hits the Worm on Kidman, which seems a good bit excessive and indeed, Angle uses the distraction to toss Scotty without much effort.

Rico slugs away at Dupree and then kisses him, sending Rene over the top to eliminate himself. Rey headscissors Kidman out and Jindrak tosses Rico. We’re down to Mysterio, Guerrero, Angle, Jindrak and Reigns for a solid handicap match. Eddie hurricanranas Jindrak out in a hurry but gets knocked out as well to leave us with three. Eddie isn’t done though and distracts Reigns, allowing Rey to dropkick him out. Angle slams him down hard but it’s too early to throw him out.

A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble but the ankle lock over the rope makes it even worse. Angle grabs a suplex and throws him over the ropes again but still can’t stomp him out. A springboard dropkick staggers Angle and there’s a tornado DDT for good measure. They fight up top with Rey crotching Angle but only being able to knock him to the apron. The 619 is blocked and the straps come down but Rey hurricanranas him to the apron. This time the 619 to the back is enough to give Rey the win and the title shot.

Rating: B-. They had a lot of potential with the final five but went straight to the final two instead. The good thing is those two worked very well together and the last stretch was good. Rey as the first challenger to Carlito is a nice choice and the match advanced some feuds at the same time. It was long but didn’t feel long, which is about as good as you can get for a match like this.

Post break Rey is proud of his win but Carlito comes up to interrupt. He wants the title match tonight (which I thought was already established), as long as Rey doesn’t mind wrestling twice in one night. Rey says it’s on and turns away like a moron, allowing Carlito to deck him and spit the apple.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

JBL is defending in a hardcore match and comes out in a Rolls-Royce. Holly goes with the dropkick to start and clotheslines the champ outside as it’s already time for the weapons. He takes a bit too long looking at them though and gets sent into the steps, leaving JBL to look at them too long as well. That means a street sign to the head over and over before sending JBL into the announcers’ table.

A monitor to the head doesn’t do much to Holly as he comes back with a cricket bat. For the third time so far, Holly takes too long to swing something and gets kicked in the face. The fans want tables but have to settle for Holly backdropping out of a piledriver attempt and trashcaning JBL in the head. The steps take too long though and a nasty chair to the head retains JBL’s title.

Rating: C+. These two have chemistry together and they were smart to keep this short. Holly isn’t going to be taken seriously as a challenger so they were smart to get in and get out with the hard weapons shots being the focus. It’s not like this was anything more than a way to kill time before JBL’s next challenger emerges but at least we got some far better than expected matches.

We see Heidenreich making the kid cry again.

British fans are glad to have Smackdown.

Here are Heyman and Heidenreich to apologize. Heyman gives a simple one and makes Heidenreich read one off a paper. That’s not it though as Heidenreich says he’s sorry for what happened last week, but not what he did to Undertaker at No Mercy. That was done with malice and intent and now, he wants Undertaker to bring the fight to him. With no Undertaker appearing, Heidenreich heads outside and threatens some people, including Heyman, before letting it go.

We look back at Eddie Guerrero cheating to beat Luther Reigns at No Mercy.

Chavo Guerrero is back next week.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is banged up and challenging. Feeling out process to start until Rey gets sent to the apron for a quick springboard seated senton. Carlito is back up with a shot to the ribs but gets knocked off the apron for a heck of a dive from Mysterio. Back from a break with Rey in an armbar (better than a chinlock) before being thrown face first out to the floor. The armbar goes on again but this time Rey fights up and hits a dropkick for his second escape.

Something close to la majistral gives Rey two and a tornado DDT is good for the same. Carlito gets back up and just throws Rey into the air for a crash before getting two off a flying armbar. A hammerlock slam stays on the arm but Carlito decides to go up for the rather obvious dive into raised boots. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop, which is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Rey finally makes a rope so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked this way better than the Cena match last week as it had more of a focus and wasn’t just Carlito getting destroyed until he stole a win. The arm work was fine and Carlito cheating when he couldn’t win through normal means worked well. A win over Mysterio will help solidify Carlito, who needs to establish himself so soon out of the gate.

More Tough Enough contestants.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Eddie rides in with the Page 3 girls. Reigns isn’t happy and goes after him to start but gets dropkicked down for his efforts. That earns him a crotching and a belly to back suplex as Reigns is mad enough that he throws Eddie’s shirt to the floor. A few backbreakers keep Eddie in trouble with Reigns bending the back over his knee for some extra pain. Eddie dances up though and slugs away but the Third Amigo is blocked. Reigns’ swinging neckbreaker is countered as Eddie walks the ropes into something like a Sliced Bread #2 but an invading Jindrak breaks up the frog splash. Reigns throws him into the steps for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not enough time here as they only had a few minutes before a DQ ending. That being said, Reigns is FAR better in the short form matches as he’s really not able to do much aside from the basics. Jindrak interfering to mess with Eddie is fine, though there’s still not much to care about with Jindrak so far. Has he actually won a match yet?

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Angle with the clippers. Big Show makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a well paced show as they kept things moving and nothing felt like it was longer than it needed to be. They advanced some of the stories as well and while it’s a long way before we get to Survivor Series, there’s at least enough to keep me interested going forward. More than anything else, I’m surprised at how tolerable JBL has been as champion. Maybe the bad comes later, but so far it’s been acceptable. Granted that might change over time, but I can’t complain much about the recent months. Good show here, and one of the better ones in a few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2004
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and there isn’t much to say. Undertaker is now dealing with Heidenreich, JBL retained the title and John Cena got the US Title back. The next major show is Survivor Series and at least we aren’t likely to hear the wrestlers burying the show before we get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Last Ride match with (stop me if you’ve heard this before) JBL taking a horrible beating and surviving as champion.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown boy John Cena to open things up because the champ is home. After bragging about how the Red Sox and Patriots are winning (like that’s going to last), Cena actually gives some respect to Booker and the fans aren’t sure about that one. Cena: “Ok now back to making fun of people.” That brings him to Cole, who is ugly, sucks, and talks very slowly. We’re doing something different tonight so he’s going to have a fan come in here and insult Cole with him.

Cue the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool to say that US Title is cool. The Red Sox jersey isn’t though because those guys never win and that makes Cena a punk. He loads up the apple but Cena makes baseball jokes (fair enough in this town) and threatens to make Carlito swallow instead of spit. Carlito laughs it off and says Cena took five matches to win the US Title but he can do it in one. The challenge is sent out but Carlito wants to do it later tonight so he doesn’t mess up his clothes. Cena extends a hand but gets caught with a DDT, plus some apple spit. This was a bit rushed, though I’ve never been a Carlito fan.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rob Van Dam is here with Rey. Mysterio’s music cuts off Rene Dupree’s entrance and likely singing. Rey speeds things up to start and kicks the leg but gets kicked in his face to slow things back down. A chop to a seated Mysterio sets up an armbar, which doesn’t last long because it’s just an armbar. Back up and Suzuki grabs a double underhook shoulder breaker but Rey shrugs it off and hits a seated senton. A springboard corkscrew splash gets two and Rene’s distraction earns himself the 619. Another one hits Kenzo and the claw legsweep (still an awful move) is easily countered into a rollup to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C-. It looks like Mysterio and Van Dam are next in line for another title shot and that’s perfectly fine. The tag division is barely a thing at the moment so having the two of them put together into a makeshift team is as good an idea as anything else. Whoever gets the title off of Kenzo is fine with me as he’s somehow getting even less interesting as time goes on.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

JBL brags about retaining the title and says he didn’t know Heidenreich would be there to help him. He’s still the WWE Champion and doesn’t like the idea of having to face Hardcore Holly again. The fans love him though and they can start those JBL chants right now.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Holly wastes no time in going after JBL’s bandaged head and pounds away with right hands. You can’t fault his logic. The gut is busted open in a hurry and Holly has no problem kicking him in the head with the blood getting on his boot. JBL manages a fall away slam to send Holly outside where he goes head first into the announcers’ table.

Holly sends him into the steps and the blood is flowing very well, including as a suplex gets two on JBL. Cue Orlando Jordan, who is totally fine after last week’s crucifixion. Holly’s dropkick gets two and a top rope elbow gets the same. The Alabama Slam looks to finish but a Jordan distraction lets JBL get outside. Jordan grabs the leg again and JBL takes the countout.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match from these two though they’re really not doing themselves any favors with JBL. I know he’s not the greatest champion in the world, but having him mostly get beaten up by career jobber to the stars Hardcore Holly is making JBL even harder to take seriously. At least WWE isn’t treating Holly as a threat to the title again though, as I’m still not entirely over that.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is coming back in two weeks. That’s not the biggest deal in the world but given the injury, it’s a nice little story.

Theodore Long tells Paul Heyman that Heidenreich stepped over the line and nothing like that is happening again here. It took the jaws of life to get Undertaker out of the hearse but the Undertaker was gone. Since laws don’t exist in WWE unless the script calls for them, Long isn’t punishing Heidenreich because Undertaker will deal with it himself. Heyman stammers that it doesn’t matter to Heidenreich, who will recite poetry tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kurt Angle explains that he was sick at No Mercy and had to face Big Show anyway. He’s ready to take on Big Show tonight but his doctors won’t let him. Mark Jindrak can do it instead and Angle will be at ringside.

Next week: JBL vs. Holly in a hardcore match for the title.

Mark Jindrak vs. Big Show

Luther Reigns is at ringside and Angle is on commentary but he stares straight at Show without saying a word. Show throws Jindrak over the top to start and then stands on his chest in the corner (without grabbing the rope) as the beating is on in a hurry. The beating bores Show, who goes outside to yell at Angle (still hasn’t said anything) but gets dropkicked off the apron.

There’s a whip into the steps for two back inside and it’s time to start on Show’s arm. It’s kind of hard to whip a giant into the post though and Show sends him to the floor with one arm. Luther Reigns tries to get in but Eddie Guerrero comes down to cut him off. Angle’s interference fails and Show chokeslams Jindrak for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s not likely to last long but at least Show is getting to look good for the time being. He’s seemed more focused and aggressive of late and that’s working for him. Jindrak has a lot of the tools to get over, though being a lackey isn’t the best way to go about it. Then again he never had much of a spark so you can only expect so much from him.

Carlito says he didn’t disrespect Cena because it was the other way around. He commands respect and tonight, everyone will learn the definition of cool when he becomes the US Champion. Carlito’s graphic comes up, which you don’t see very often after a promo.

We look back at Billy Kidman injuring Paul London at No Mercy and blaming the fans.

Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas

Jackie Gayda is in Haas’ corner. Charlie works on the arm to start, including an armdrag into a rollup for two. A hotshot cuts Haas off and let’s talk about the Undertaker out of nowhere. The chinlock stays on the general throat area until Haas fights up with a t-bone suplex. A spinning top rope crossbody gets two but Haas charges into raised boots in the corner.

The shooting star press is loaded up but Jackie climbs onto Charlie to protect him. Kidman kicks Haas to the floor and BK Bombs Jackie before heading up again. There’s no shooting star though as Kidman says he doesn’t think so and climbs down as Rico comes in to take care of Jackie. No contest.

Rating: D+. I’m liking this Kidman story more and more every week, though I’m expecting it to come to an end with Chavo beating him. He’s doing some interesting stuff as you don’t often get into the mental side of a wrestler and it’s an interesting place to go. They’ve gone somewhere and while I get that it’s going to end, it’s kind of a shame as Kidman has gotten a nice rub from this.

Jordan bumps into Booker T. and asks to hear the SUCKA. Booker doesn’t want anything to do with him because Jordan is just an errand boy. And I guess Booker is just a face again, even though there are already as many if not more top faces than top heels.

Another look back at the Last Ride match and the end of No Mercy.

We see some more potential Tough Enough finalists, including Marty Wright (Boogeyman).

Here’s Heidenreich for poetry time with Heyman handling the introduction while also panicking over Undertaker not being in the hearse. Heidenreich says no one, including Undertaker, better interrupt him as he recites his masterpiece. Therefore the fans boo him and keep cutting him off because they don’t understand that they’re just extending their own agony. Heidenreich actually goes into the crowd and beats up some fans, all of whom happen to have some good camera presence.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Carlito runs scared to start. You can only run so far though as Cena blasts him with a clothesline and whips him into the steps for a bonus. Another whip into the corner has Cena looking confident, which is never a good sign. A delayed vertical suplex, complete with squats, has Carlito in even more trouble. Cena shows off again with a one armed side slam.

It’s kind of strange to see Cena being this cocky but it’s making him look like a bigger star. Carlito gets whipped into the steps but manages to low bridge Cena to the floor. Cena is fine enough to catapult him into the crowd and the posing in the ring takes us to a break. Back with Carlito ducking a crossbody and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two. A slingshot elbow gets the same and we hit the chinlock.

Cena powers out with a backdrop and the comeback is on with the usual. The Shuffle gets two and Cena throws him outside but the referee won’t let Cena follow. That means Carlito can pick up the title, which Cena takes away. The referee takes it next, allowing Carlito to use the chain on Cena for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one with Cena dominating for the most part until Carlito got in the cheating shot to win the title. It’s certainly a strong way to debut someone and makes Carlito look like a pesky thief that deserves a beating, though it doesn’t help the fact that it’s still Carlito and he still looks like he’s a seventeen year old with a bad static electricity shock.

Carlito steals the chain to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it’s the comparison to Raw, but this is the kind of show that makes it clear how much better Smackdown is at the moment. There was a point to almost everything on the show and they set things up throughout the night. On top of that, it doesn’t feel nearly as repetitive and there were no insults from the wrestlers about the upcoming pay per view. Raw is becoming harder and harder to watch while this show is enjoyable, despite having nowhere near as top level stars. I don’t know if it’s going to keep lasting this way, but it’s nice at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

This is another request and I’m assuming it’s due to a certain grudge match. We’re eight days removed from Summerslam 2005, which means we’re dealing with WWE Champion John Cena (shocking I know) vs. evil boss Eric Bischoff. Cena is on a hot streak though, having vanquished Chris Jericho last week, sending Jericho off to fired land. Let’s get to it.

We recap Jericho’s loss last week, which is one thing WWE is great about: they get you up to date on the top story so no one comes in confused or lost. Anyway, after getting rid of Jericho, Bischoff brought out the fired up Kurt Angle as the next boss battle.

Opening sequence.

We’ll open up with Carlito’s (Intercontinental Champion) Cabana, which will be replacing the Highlight Reel. Carlito gets right to the point and brings out his guest Shawn Michaels, who is in a suit for some reason. We hear about how much Carlito respects Shawn, who isn’t sure if there’s that much to admire about him. Carlito looked up to Shawn and now Shawn can look up to him. Shawn: “EASY THERE!”

After everything he’s been through in the last month (dealing with Hulk Hogan), he can’t deal with any more ego. A HOGAN chant starts up but Shawn says “until he needs another payoff, he ain’t coming back.” I know he lost the match but score one for Shawn. As for Carlito, the reason people are still talking about Shawn’s matches is because Carlito hasn’t had any great ones. The man makes the title so when is the last time Carlito even defended the belt?

Carlito doesn’t want to hear it and talks about a pecking order around here with him way at the top and Shawn all the way at the bottom. Shawn gives a funny reaction as Carlito loads up the apple. Actually never mind as Carlito brings out Chris Masters for the Master Lock Challenge. Cue Masters as Shawn says he should know better than to get himself into these messes after twenty four years. Carlito grabs a DDT but here’s Ric Flair for the save.

Post break Bischoff postpones the Master Lock Challenge until next week and replaces it with a tag match.

Big Show vs. Buck Quartermain/Steve Madison

Show tosses them around, does the chops in the corner, throws them into the air a bit, suplexes both guys at once and finishes with a double chokeslam. This was what it was.

Post match Snitsky comes in and lays Show out with the bell.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle as full on eye candy. Last week they initiated Ashley Massaro so tonight they want to apologize to her. Cue Ashley, who is labeled a tomboy for some reason, and gets to hear Michelle’s amazing acting abilities. Ashley, the rookie and therefore stupid, accepts the apologies and gets a match as a reward.

Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro

Widow’s Peak, thirty seconds.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are coming. They were the best team in another horrible stretch for the tag division. If nothing else, I miss these vignettes. They’re in a bar and Murdoch is angry, which Cade says is him having a good day. This took less than a minute and told you quite a bit about the characters: Cade is a smooth talker with Texas charm and Murdoch is a bar fighting redneck. You immediately know what you’re getting and have a bit of a connection to the guys when they debut instead of learning about them on the fly. Why can’t we get more of these, which have no budget and are really effective?

Edge is listening to Alter Bridge (sitting around him) when Todd Grisham interrupts. When asked about Lita’s whereabouts, Edge says she’s running an errand. Edge is ready to finish Matt Hardy in a street fight.

Matt is getting ready when Lita comes up and hits on him. She’s spent a long time warming Edge up and unzips the jacket to reveal basically a scarf covering her chest. Lita asks Matt how it feels to know he’ll never experience this again. Matt really doesn’t seem to care and promises to destroy Edge tonight. If that means he goes down too, so be it. Matt looked REALLY intense here and this worked.

Someone has attacked Flair (he’s COVERED in blood for a great visual) and he’s likely out of tonight’s main event. Shawn thinks it was Masters and Carlito and, believe it or not, this DIDN’T lead to Flair turning heel, but rather him beating Carlito for the Intercontinental Title.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Street fight as they continue the VERY hot feud based on Lita leaving Matt for Edge in real life, which set up one heck of a story when Matt returned to go after him. Edge is in jeans and Lita is in….well not much actually. They lock up to start and thankfully that’s the end of the wrestling as they fight out to the floor and into the crowd. Matt blasts him in the head with a trashcan lid as Lawler suggests that Lita is called the previously enjoyed companion.

Back from a break with Matt unloading with right hands and blocking a spear with a trashcan lid. The big legdrop (minus the required yodeling) off the ladder gets two but Edge is up (way too fast) with a kendo stick to the ribs and a flapjack into a ladder. Now it’s Edge’s turn to hammer away until Matt grabs a DDT onto the steps.

Lita finally offers a distraction so Edge can jump him from the back, only to have Hardy win another slugout. The moonsault hits ladder though and Edge hits him in the head over and over. They fight up the ramp with Matt taking over but not being able to powerbomb Lita off the stage. Instead it’s a Side Effect to Edge into the electrical equipment, meaning the big sparks display gives us a no contest.

Rating: B. It was a physical brawl but the ending hurts it a bit as we’re stuck waiting on the other big match between these two. The hard hitting helped a lot it’s pretty clear that Matt isn’t on Edge’s level for the long term and he needs to get in what he can while this lasts. It’s an entertaining fight but the ending really didn’t do either of them any favors. Instead of this really meaning anything, it’s just something they did for about twenty minutes before they have their next match. If you have this kind of a brawl, it should probably advance the story a bit instead of feeling like a pit stop.

And now we get all serious with Lawler and Coach going up to help on them as the medical stuff goes through a break. JR doing his Owen Hart voice doesn’t help either. We hit a bunch of recaps while Edge looks terrified about how injured he might be.

After another break, here’s Cena for a chat. Everything’s been going crazy with 50 Cent swearing at the VMA’s and then last week he got attacked by a red white and blue Tasmanian devil. That’s the bad news. The good news though is he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance. Even Lawler admits that was a funny joke.

All that matters now though is that THE CHAMP IS HERE. Angle might be the #1 contender but Cena has never backed down from a fight in his life. This brings out Angle to say Cena doesn’t want any of him. We see a clip of last week’s attack but Angle says he’s not risking his title shot. Angle lists off his amateur credentials and says he wants the title more than anything else. He doesn’t care about anyone and tells Cena to shut up.

Cena starts to think he’s in over his head because Angle might be the baddest man alive. Eh screw it though because he’s still calling Angle out. Kurt won’t go so Cena brings up Angle attacking from behind. Therefore, Cena is willing to turn his back on Angle to get his hands on him and the fight is on. A quick ankle lock is broken up and Angle bails from a VERY fired up Cena.

Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey

Tomko’s big boot has been destroying jobbers on Heat. Rosey is one half of the Tag Team Champions….and gets knocked out by the big boot in less than a minute.

Hurricane is knocked out as well because WWE is really stupid about their champions. And no, Tomko wasn’t part of the team that took the belts from them.

We look back at Carlito’s Cabana and Flair being assaulted.

Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Officially a handicap match. Carlito gets things going and the threat of a drive into the corner sends Shawn running. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind fighting them both as he chops away and punches Carlito out to the floor. Back in and Carlito gets in some left hands to the jaw as they’re still firmly in first gear.

The double teaming takes over on Shawn, who makes things even worse by missing a charge into the post. A swinging neckbreaker puts Carlito down for a bit and Masters is backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Shawn hitting the flying forearm (flying burrito according to JR) on Carlito and nipping up as only he can.

Masters breaks up the superkick though and the heels take over again. This is certainly getting some time, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Carlito whips him into the corner for two (A cover off an Irish whip? Really?) and it’s off to Masters for a long form backbreaker.

Shawn’s arm actually falls twice with his back bent over Masters’ knee until he punches his way out. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Shawn grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Cue a bloody Flair to take the tag (because this is a tag match again) and house is cleaned until Carlito hits Ric low. The Masterlock finishes the bloody Flair.

Rating: C+. Not terrible actually but Ross treating this like some major, game changing win for Masters and Carlito doesn’t quite fit. It’s a big win but this isn’t going to turn them into the best heels in the world or anything. Is there a reason they’re not the Tag Team Champions? They’re beating Flair and Shawn while the champs are getting squashed by Tomko. That should be a layup idea but for some reason WWE doesn’t get it.

Overall Rating: D+. There were five matches on this show and three of them were too short to rate. The stories are starting to have some potential and I’d be curious to see what they have for Unforgiven but this was only a short step on the way there. Edge vs. Hardy is more flashy than good and while Lita is always a blast at this point, it’s still not enough to make this a great show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as it’s just after Chris Benoit’s death but now the real story has come out and WWE looks kind of bad after Monday’s tribute show. I mean, of course they should have immediately assumed a man snapped and murdered his family because that’s the natural line of thought. It’s back to storylines tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon talking about how they’ve found out what happened with Benoit and how there will be no mention of his name save for these comments. Instead, tonight is dedicated to the memories of everyone affected by this incident. And that’s the last you’ll hear of Benoit on WWE TV. It’s also edited off the Network but that has to be expected.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

This is a mostly if not all interpromotional show as they were planning another Benoit tribute and then everything changed. Flair used to mentor Carlito but Carlito felt he was entitled to whatever he wanted. Chops and right hands have Carlito in trouble but he gets in an awkward looking dropkick in the corner. A better dropkick gets two and they head to the corner for more kicks and chops.

Carlito starts in on Flair’s damaged ribs and JBL actually talks about what it means to not be able to breathe in the ring. Six left hands in the corner (not ten for no apparent reason) give Carlito two and it’s off to a bodyscissors as the crowd is trying to stay in this one. Ric comes back with chops and JBL is already bowing down as much as he can. The Figure Four makes Carlito tap without too much effort.

Rating: C-. Just a match here with Carlito working on the injured body part to keep Flair in trouble but losing to the better man at the end. I never got the appeal of Carlito and Flair didn’t do much for me around this time but at least the was entertaining enough while it lasted. Above all else though it made sense and that’s arguably more important.

Lance Cade vs. Matt Hardy

Their teams are feuding over Cade’s (and Trevor Murdoch’s) Tag Team Titles. Feeling out process to start with Cade getting in an early dropkick before starting in on the arm. The announcers talk about how Cade is similar to JBL and how Matt has matured in the last year (pick which one you want to make fun of more) as Matt gets in a few shots to take over. A sitout spinebuster plants Matt though and gives the rather dull Cade two.

We hit an abdominal stretch (Cade: “ASK HIM!” No wonder Jericho mentored him later.) for a bit before Cade just BLASTS HIM with a clothesline. JBL says he won a World Title with a clothesline, which makes me believe that his title reign was so boring that even he doesn’t remember how he won the belt. Cade gets two more off a superplex but gets caught in a very quick Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin.

Rating: D+. It felt like they were ready to push Matt if they could find the right spot but it just never came together for a variety of reasons. He was about to start in on the US Title feud with MVP but it took WAY too long to get to the payoff. Hardy gave Cade a lot here though and that should be good for Lance going forward.

We look at Judgment Day 2007 with Edge beating Batista to retain the Smackdown World Title.

Michelle McCool likes frolicking on the beach in a bikini. She got SO much better as part of Laycool.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

Chavo is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Noble and Funaki are just kind of hanging around at this point but Jamie is more serious than usual for an upgrade. Jamie gets sent into the corner to start but pops back up to kick Funaki in the face. The slow pace picks up a bit with Chavo sunset flipping Jamie who sends Funaki flying with a release German suplex. Jamie and Chavo are sent outside for a big dive from Funaki, followed by a bulldog on Jamie for good measure. Not that it matters as Chavo comes back in and grabs the Gory Bomb to retain.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but the match had no heat and was just kind of there for the sake of getting one of Benoit’s friends on the show (nothing wrong with that). Funaki and Jamie were WAY past their peaks as title contenders at this point though to be fair, WWE didn’t exactly try to hide it.

Edge storms into Vickie Guerrero’s (acting for Teddy Long, who is getting ready to get married) office looking for Teddy. He doesn’t want to face Batista tonight but calms down a bit when he finds out it’s non-title. Edge will compete under protest tonight. Vickie really hadn’t found her stride yet.

Jesse and Festus are happy to be coming to Smackdown.

Deuce N Domino vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title and interpromotional again. Domino and JTG start things off with the latter scoring off a middle rope leg lariat. Shad slams JTG onto Domino (now with a very bloody nose) for two and it’s off to Deuce to take over. A cobra clutch goes nowhere so it’s back to Shad for the power displays. Cherry (Deuce’s cousin) offers a distraction though and Shad gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D. I liked Deuce N Domino but this was a really boring match with nothing interesting going on. There’s nothing to see here (save for Cherry) and that’s one of the major issues with this show: matches with no stories and no reason for them to be fighting isn’t the most intriguing stuff in the world.

Cryme Tyme is way too smiley after losing like that.

Post break Deuce N Domino are in the ring so Cryme Tyme steals their car and promises to take it to a chop shop.

MVP vs. Kane

Non-title (MVP is US Champion) again. Kane easily powers him out of the ring and you can see the fear on MVP’s face. Back in and MVP thinks better of it before bailing outside again. MVP goes for the arm and actually has some success before going after the leg. According to commentary, Kane’s entire career is built around the big boot. That’s one of those lines that makes so little sense that I don’t even want to try to figure it out. Kane makes his comeback with a running clothesline and the side slam, followed by the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam gives Kane the clean pin.

Rating: D. Not only was it boring, but Kane didn’t even use a big boot to win! I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE! Nothing to see here, but that’s not the biggest surprise in the world here given that they only had a few minutes and the champion lost clean. Kane wouldn’t win the title so it’s not like this meant anything.

Video on Vengeance, which is a completely forgotten show for all the wrong reasons.

Eugene is glad to be on Smackdown but his debut match is against Great Khali.

Victoria and new Smackdown talent Mickie James get in an argument over who is wilder. To prove her wildness, Victoria promises to kiss whomever comes out of a door next. It’s Howard Finkel so we’ll skip him and move on to…..Jim Duggan. Jim leaves before any kissing can ensue so Mickie takes Victoria’s place. She ignores Big Dick Johnson until Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. That was one of the dumbest segments I’ve ever seen, which covers a lot of ground.

Mickie James vs. Victoria

Mickie looks GREAT here. It’s a wrestling sequence to start until Mickie gets in a crossbody for the first major offense. Victoria crotches her on top though and ties Mickie up in the Tree of Woe for some hair pulling. The torture rack into the spinning side slam gets two but Mickie gets a hurricanrana out of the corner. Victoria breaks up the MickieDT but misses a moonsault. A quick rollup gives Mickie the pin in what felt like an audible.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing what happens when you have two talented women who are working hard, even in a short match. The Smackdown women were basically left alone and allowed to actually wrestle instead of all the nonsense going on over on Raw. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fun while it lasted, even with the odd ending.

Great Khali vs. Eugene

Tree slam for the pin in less than forty five seconds.

Batista says that he’ll settle for punishing Edge if he can’t have a title shot.

Edge vs. Batista

Non-title. Edge hides in the ropes for the first minute or so until he starts kicking at the knee. Batista switches things up with a single leg takedown of all things before throwing on a Brock Lock. A knee crusher sets up a half crab on the champ as Batista has an interesting definition of punishment. Edge tries a low blow but Batista grabs the hand so we keep going. Batista’s running forearm knocks Edge into the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Edge getting in a shot to the back and snapping the neck across the top rope. We hit the cravate as the announcers bicker about Edge never pinning Batista…..except for that one time, which makes Cole sound even dumber than usual. Batista comes back with a spear and side slam as we’re just waiting on what’s likely to be a clean fall over the champ. A spinebuster counters Edge’s spear and the Batista Bomb gives Batista (in case that wasn’t clear) the pin.

Rating: C+. As soon as this was announced as a non-title match, you pretty much knew the ending from there. Edge is the kind of guy who can bounce back with a promo or doing something sleazy so it’s not the biggest problem in the world, though it’s still rather annoying. Either that or he’ll just get hurt again and vacate the title, which wound up happening less than a month after this.

Overall Rating: D+. Totally nothing show here but that’s the case with something like this. There isn’t a really good match on the card and certainly nothing worth going out of your way to see. The real problem here is the lack of storylines (and the two singles champions losing clean) as that’s just not enough to carry a show. Skip this one as it’s not even worth the (incredibly limited) historical value.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6