On This Day: September 17, 2006 – Unforgiven 2006: Hello Cena And Goodbye Trish

Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

For some reason this is a very requested show, so here it is. This is a two match show for the most part as Cena goes for the world title against Edge in a TLC match where Cena will be the HUGE heel. Also here we have DX vs. the McMahons and Big Show in Hell in a Cell. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that match all the way through so that’s a nice little bonus reason to watch this show. Other than that there’s just not much here, but then again 06 was only an ok year for the company. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those two matches which is exactly what you would expect it to be about.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow talk about two different career paths. I’m not sure who gyrates more: Hardy or Melina. They mention Jeff’s three year absence, which was when he was in TNA, but we can’t say that name so there you are. Long feeling out process to start which is fine if they have time to work with. Nice armdrag and then another by Hardy as we get the obligatory Ricky Steamboat reference.

Nitro plays the standard heel role by hiding on the floor when Jeff gets momentum. That’s such a basic thing and it worked very well. I don’t get why more people don’t do it. SWEET slingshot dropkick to Nitro and he hits the floor. Baseball slide takes care of him there too as it’s all Hardy. Nitro hits a dropkick to Hardy while Hardy is on top to take over though. Dang Melina can scream.

He works on Hardy’s knee which is rather smart given the style of offense he uses. Top rope twisting moonsault (Starship Pain but from the top rope and without the leg split) misses and we’re back to even. Whisper in the Wind hits very well and Nitro is in trouble. Swanton hits clean but Jeff’s leg is hurt and Nitro gets his foot on the ropes. Nitro keeps working on the knee and even gets a leg/ankle lock.

Melina gets up on the apron and down she goes thanks to Nitro which gets a rollup for Hardy for two. She can however take her boot off and apply it to the face of Hardy to make sure Nitro wins. Ross gets in a sl** jab at her which is rather amusing for some reason.

Rating: B-. Competitive but this went nearly 20 minutes which is a very long time for these two. It’s pretty good but for some reason it just never clicked. The ending is fine though as it’s basic heel stuff which never gets old. What more can you ask for in a match as far as basic face vs. basic heel stuff? Solid, Cruiserweight style stuff which is a good idea.

Marine stuff, which wasn’t a bad movie.

Matt gives Jeff a pep talk and Lita shows up and insults occur.

Kane vs. Umaga

Oh yay. It’s this match again. They claim this is Umaga’s PPV debut. That’s idiotic as he had been at Backlash, 4 months before this. I was kind of there so I think I’d know. Estrada is annoying which is the idea so he’s got that right at least. The introduction takes about 5 minutes. Who would guess that Kane would win the world title before Umaga would?

Kane punches him back into the corner to start and it’s a slugout. Big boot to the face does almost nothing and then Kane sits up after a kick from Umaga. Some Estrada interference lets Umaga take over, which sucks because I was enjoying the whole neither can do anything at all. King compares this to Godzilla vs. Mothra, because both of them resemble large butterflies.

The running flying hip smash connects and Kane is reeling. And of course such a high impact move is followed up by a thumb to the throat, which is SO DEVASTATING! It appears that all Kane can do is punch. Him vs. Rocky Balboa could be amusing. A flying thumb to the head misses from the middle rope. I do enjoy that flying clothesline from Kane. Then again I like Kane in general so there you are.

Chokeslam is started but almost blocked. More striking and then Kane hits a belly to belly (!) over the top to the floor and they head into the crowd. I think you can put the rest together for yourselves. The brawl keeps going, resulting in absolutely no conclusion at all. They brawl into the set and go through a door in it, ticking off the crowd immensely.

Rating: D+. Kane didn’t care at all at this point and can you blame him? He had no reason to as he knew he wasn’t getting elevated at all no matter what he did. He was stuck in these dead end feuds with random people that meant nothing such as this one. Umaga would go on to fight Cena for the world title in a few months while Kane just did hims thing over and over again. He’s a company man, you have to give him that.

We go to Vince in the back who is watching a tape of him hitting and then pinning HHH on Raw. He and Shane want to destroy DX which they’ve been trying to do all summer now. The idea is that Vince does nothing but gets to do the pin.

Raw Tag Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders were really funny in their vignettes and then debuted to a nice reaction. This is more or less the peak of their importance. Rory (the other is Robbie) looks like Mad Dog Vachon from a facial hair perspective. Imagine Scottish Bushwackers. That sums them up pretty well. Kenny and Mikey are the Squad members here today. All Highlanders so far.

This really isn’t much of a match as you can more or less feel the screwy ending coming soon. Robbie misses a dive and the three other guys beat up Robbie to take over. Crowd is DEAD. The top rope legdrop from Kenny misses as this needs to end like now. Rory gets the hot tag which is lacking heat and hits his finisher on Mikey. After a save Johnny kicks Rory in the head and an X Factor (by the beard no less) ends it.

Rating: D. And so what? That’s what I was thinking when this match ended: so what. Who cares that the Spirit Squad has ANOTHER win using the same stuff they’ve used every time? It’s just not an interesting dynamic for this long, and then at the end of the day Piper and Flair wound up taking the titles from them. That’s the best they could do? This division was long since dead at this point and that was very clear.

We recap the Vince vs. DX feud which went on forever and was pretty badly received. It just kept going and stupid stuff that DX was doing was “breaking” Vince. Steve Austin kidnapped Vince, destroyed his car and threatened to shoot him and Vince never broke. And yet this is enough to get us to a Cell match?

Big Show/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Degeneration X

Does anyone else have an issue with Vince and Shane and even Show being in a Cell match? Does that just not fit right with anyone besides me? Show is ECW Champion at this point. This is a different kind of cell too as it’s not as wide but taller. Maybe it is as wide. Double low blow immediately on Show and DX takes over. I have a feeling this could go on for a very long time.

Shane gets launched into the cage as HHH beats up his father in law. Shane is busted open already. Show’s balls must be throbbing since he’s still down. All DX so far as Vince gets his face grated over the cage which is a great spot as it’s painful looking and draws blood too. You can’t beat that. Show is back up and HHH does his jump over the top in the corner which always looks good.

Shawn hits a dive but it gets caught. I love power spots like that. How can you fake catching a grown man like that when he’s launching himself down at you? HHH drops a knee on Vince and it CLEARLY misses by at least 4 inches. Vince not moving an inch didn’t help things. Really bad camera shot there as it totally exposed everything. It looked fine to the live fans I guess, but terrible from a TV perspective.

Apparently HHH has a bad ear, which is a rare injury. Vince is bleeding and Shawn goes into the cage. Things have slowed down a lot here. JR calls the fence a javelin catcher. Where does he get some of this stuff? The weapons are brought in, starting with a trashcan. Coast to Coast hits HHH and DX is more or less dead.

Shawn is brought back in and Vince gets to punch on him a bit. Shane hits a slingshot on HHH to launch him into the cage. Vader Bomb to Shawn from Show. Vince picks him up though and then does it again. You imbecile. HHH comes back after a decent rest and it’s low blows for everyone. From out of nowhere Shane gets a torture rack of all things into a neckbreaker on HHH.

Everyone is down until a SICK enziguri takes out Shane again. Vince of course lowers his pants to try to get Shawn to kiss up to him. HHH makes a save but too much Big Show stops that. Shawn manages to avoid a splash with a nip up and Vince takes it. DX takes out Show with a bunch of low blows and here’s the big comeback. They do all their favorites and HHH gets some chairs from under the ring.

They Pillmanize Shane’s neck which would have killed him in kayfabe but whatever. Show comes back to stop the kick as this is going too long. Actually it isn’t as the length is helping to a degree. Chairs and steps plus chin music take Show out again. Vince is all that’s left so DX pulls down Show’s shorts. You know what’s coming. There doesn’t appear to be a thong either. You can’t say he won’t do whatever it takes for his company.

HHH busts out a sledgehammer just for fun. Superkick hits and HHH breaks the hammer over Vince. So between that and attempting to murder Shane, how many years in prison is that for them? Pin is academic. Shane is taken out on a stretcher, as is Vince, which gets cheers. I’ll give them this: that’s how you END a feud.

Rating: C+. It was entertaining, but this just didn’t feel like it belonged in a Cell. If there hadn’t been so many people it would have fit in a regular cage better. This wasn’t bad, but it just doesn’t measure up to everything else. The comedy thing hurts the whole pain part a lot. This was a good match, but after the attempted murder, cheering them is kind of hard. It’s ok but it doesn’t work if that makes sense.

The post match stuff takes like five minutes.

Mania is in Detroit.

We get a package on Trish, as her retirement match is next. It’s her hometown, so what do you really think is going to happen? If nothing else the highlight reel of her hotness is nice. The story is that Trish wasn’t going to announce the retirement but Lita told WWE.com so that Trish couldn’t have her moment, which is different if nothing else.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

If she’s going to go, this is how you do it: in your hometown against your rival for the title. Both of their theme songs freaking rock. Lita is announced from Atlanta which sounds weird. LOUD Thank You Trish chant before the music even hits. She gets the loudest pop for a Diva ever, period. This really is a cool moment and her stumbling up the steps is awesome too.

Lita gets booed out of the building and I had to grab my headphones to get the loudness out of my ears when Trish went on offense. Thesz Press off the apron to Lita and I can’t get over how hot this crowd is for this. I know it’s a big deal but DANG they’re loud for it. They changed the mat during the video package so that the blood is gone, which is nice since the stains on the mat get annoying later on.

Lita’s looks never worked that well with bangs. In a cool spot, Lita blocks the headscissors out of the corner and Trish winds up sitting on Lita’s lap in the corner as they punch each other. Never seen that before. They fight even more on the top and Trish goes to the mat. Moonsault misses and the Stratusfaction is missed too. A fan at ringside actually asks Trish to marry him as she’s down. Well he’s certainly trying.

Trish is in trouble as they actually tease her losing here. That’s rather amusing. JR mentions she’ll be in the Hall of Fame, which better be true. If she’s not they might as well close off any other Divas. They slug it out which is something these two can actually make believable, which isn’t often said of the ladies. BIG old kick to the head of Lita gets two.

Sweet move by Trish as Stratusfaction is reversed but Trish twists PERFECTLY in midair into a sunset flip. The sunset flip part isn’t great but the twist was nice. It gets two, but Trish gets the FREAKING SHARPSHOOTER and the crowd absolutely loses it. Lita almost gets the rope but Trish drags her back to the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A. This wasn’t for the match, although it was good. This was about a last moment, and I’d love to hear a way to go out that is better than this. In her hometown, using the most famous move in the history of the country, she beat her archrival and broke the record for most Women’s Championship ever. That is what you call epic. Good match too, but that’s expected from these two. Crowd was awesome too.

Everyone gives Trish an ovation, including Lillian, Jim and Jerry. Lita would retire in like 3 months, killing the division once and for all.

There’s a season premiere of Smackdown. I think that was the Friday debut.

Orton is in the back and gets a mixed reaction, even though he’s a heel here. He says no one cares about her retirement unless you’re Canadian. Orton REALLY can’t talk yet here and it shows badly. He has Carlito next. Odd interview and not in a good way.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

I still like Burn in My Light better than Voices. This is more or less the apex of Carlito’s WWE push. Standard stuff to start which is fine. Randy takes over and we get an RKO chant. I love Canadian crowds. So much for that Randy takes over aspect as Carlito hits some nice springboard splashes. Both guys have nice dropkicks also. Orton’s mouth is busted, which today would bring a match to a screeching halt.

It’s chinlock time, which was more prevalent back in the day if you can believe that. Carlito hits a Downward Spiral which is a required move in this company I think. RKO is countered into the Backcracker and is told they have two minutes left. To end it, Carlito does a double springboard into a spinning clothesline. It doesn’t hit though as Orton pulls him into the RKO in a SWEET counter. Awesome ending to a bad match.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring. It’s nothing great at all as the whole thing was about the ending. Carlito was a rather odd worker as he had such a different style but it just never clicked for more than like one match in a row. This was rather short and didn’t really ever get off the ground, but after the long celebration with Trish they’re likely short on time.

We recap Edge vs. Cena, which is happening because Cena wants the title. The idea is if Cena loses here to Edge in Edge’s hometown then he goes to Smackdown for three years. There’s also a new belt here as Edge threw the spinner belt in the water. He has a new spinner with an R on it. This gets the music video treatment. Oh and Cena’s dad got beaten up by Edge.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely a good show and the two huge matches are definitely a good way to sell the show. This has some issues with it but for the most part it’s good. Trish’s moment is probably the highlight of the show actually but the whole comedy spot in the Cell match just stopped that one dead. It’s worth seeing and is definitely entertaining but not a classic or anything. I’d consider this a good popcorn show if that makes sense.

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On This Day: August 18, 2007 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #35: How Did The Show Last This Long?

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Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

Again we’re setting up for Summerslam here which was a pretty decent show at the end of the day. Again though there’s very little effort put into this one seemingly although we do have an hour and a half here instead of an hour like last time so this should be a bit better in theory.

We’re looking for Vince’s son here which could have been great but Kennedy screwed it up and since WWE had zero patience they messed it up. Also Evander Holyfield is fighting Matt Hardy in a boxing match here. Let’s get to it so I can get to the next show quickly.

We open Coach and Vince setting up the story of the illegitimate son and saying tonight they’ll be going through most of the roster. See how that one thing tying the whole show together could help the whole show get a bit better? Coach implies he could be the son and Vince says it’s going to be a long night. You can feel like this is at least a decent show on paper as we’re in the world’s most famous arena and Vince is here. That just makes the show feel bigger.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Khali is champion here and Finlay is about to turn face in a few months. Batista would get the his shot at Summerslam while Kane and Finlay would have a fight there too that sucked. The faces beat the tar out of Finlay before we go to commercial and come back to have Khali beating up Kane. Khali puts the claw on the injured ribs. My head hurts. He’s just squeezing his side. Could he be any lazier? I mean come on now.

If you ever want a reason to know what Khali is said to be unable to wrestle, HERE IT IS! GOOD NIGHT that was a poorly worded sentence. Batista comes in and beats up Finlay. And here’s Horny who is a heel here so Batista just throws him into Kane. They get Khali tied up in the ropes and just ram Horny into him like a battering ram. That was funny actually. A double chokeslam on Khali leads to Finlay being ended with Batista’s usual stuff.

Rating: C. This could have main evented any given Smackdown if you added three minutes to it. It was fine for what it was and it came off pretty well I guess. It’s certainly not a great match but it works for an 8 minute long show on a completely thrown away show I guess.

Vince is looking in a mirror and it turns into a picture of him from the 80s. Simmons shows up to say his one line. That made NO sense.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Holyfield talks to MVP about nothing in particular.

Coach and Vince are in the ring and it’s time for another of the illegitimate son angles. These were funny at first but at the same time they more or less didn’t know who they were going with once Kennedy got suspended and it just got stupid. Coach talks about Vince’s sex life and Vince snaps at him. That made me chuckle for some reason. Coach thinks that the child could be from Kentucky. WOOT!

And it’s Eugene, which would mean that Vince screwed Bischoff’s sister. That seems a bit too stupid to believe. Vince says he slept with a woman, not his cousin. They mention Uncle Eric and apparently Eric got into wrestling for Vince nailing his sister. That’s creative if nothing else.

Good night they messed up that character to the moon and back. Coach asks Vince if he remembers the Mania 2 after party in LA (even though Vince was in the New York portion of the show but whatever) and Melina is brought out. Both seem very nervous and it’s implied they slept together. Can I get a Mackenzie Phillips joke? Coach says he has one more and Vince insists they come out.

Cue glass shattering and an eruption from the crowd. Austin wearing sneakers just doesn’t look right for some reason. They had to go here eventually and I can’t blame them. These two simply belong together. Austin looks like he’s in great shape as compared to when he was in the ring.

He says that Vince could have been a good dad and lists off some things that Vince might have been able to do with him, including talking about the birds and the bees. This is amusing if nothing else for the look on the face of Vince, and Austin is always good for a one off appearance.

The fans pop at the idea of a Stunner. Coach gets it after Vince takes two low blows “to calm down his grapefruits”. Beer is consumed and is poured on Vince’s balls. Of course Vince gets a Stunner as well. Apparently Balls Mahoney was in this segment as well but was edited out for time I guess.

Holyfield is still warming up.

John Cena vs. Carlito

These two always wind up together for some reason. They had split two matches thanks to Orton and this is match #3. Well it’s quick if nothing else. This is exactly what you would expect from these guys as they have a decent little match but there’s nothing at all to get excited about. Carlito starts in control and the comeback hits for the STFU tap out. Orton comes in and gets a belt shot in and an RKO on a chair. Wow they actually did storyline advancement. I’m in shock.

Rating: D+. This was ok at best and bad at worst. It’s also about 5 minutes long so there was just no meat here at all. This was pretty weak though. It did however close an angle and builds on Orton vs. Cena so that was a major perk. Still though, not very entertaining.

And now we replay half the match for no apparent reason.

Orton says he’s coming for Cena at Summerslam.

A bunch of the Divas are here to watch the boxing. I can’t believe they’re going through with this.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Again, this is boxing. They call Holyfield the best ever. He wasn’t even the best of the 90s. This was about contest #298 between MVP and Hardy as Hardy was supposed to fight MVP but since both guys kept getting hurt and he couldn’t beat MVP for the US Title like he was supposed to. Michael Buffer is here. Come on man you have a career man!

Oh Holyfield has a title fight for one of about 4 world titles floating around at this time. The idiocy of this astounds me. In case you don’t get why, Holyfield is one of the best boxers in the last 40 years, but apparently a guy that has never boxed in his life is supposed to stand chance against him.

There is no reason this should go past 30 seconds in any sort of reality. Holyfield has no headgear on while Hardy does. That helps a tiny bit I guess. After a video package on Hardy we’re back. The rounds are two minutes long. And Hardy is in trouble 20 seconds in. That’s better than nothing I guess.

He’s down again after a minute. He’s down again after a minute and a half. This needs to end like now. Hardy is either a heck of an actor or he got the tar knocked out of him. Oh the Divas are the ring girls. I got it. Holyfield refuses to punch him anymore. Ok that’s better than nothing if nothing else. MVP tells him to attack so he gets punched.

Rating: N/A. This was very odd but of course they gave it more time than anything else tonight. At least Holyfield completely dominated so that’s better than nothing.

Tazz comes out for commentary.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

These two both had matches at Summerslam I think. Scratch that, only the two with talent had a match. This is about as boring of a tag match as I could imagine. There’s nothing of note happening as it’s Morrison for about 90% of this as BDV is so freaking fat that he can’t move much let alone have a good match.

This is more or less all Punk and Morrison which makes sense if nothing else. It was really short if nothing else and they actually had a commercial in here. This was very boring though and nothing of note is happening. And Punk gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. I just wanted this to end at this point. There was nothing at all of note going on and they were just out there to fill in time. The match did I guess give Punk momentum going into Summerslam so I’ll give them that. Still a very poor match though.

A video highlight reel of the show ends us.

Overall Rating: D. Well there was some ok stuff here I guess. Nothing great happened here though and more or less you could have skipped this show and been fine. That’s what I did and I was fine on the next shows. Not a good show at all but it could have been far worse, like the next one. The show and concept were dead at this point though and it showed badly.

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