WrestleReunion VI
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: The Westin Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

I’m not completely sure on the name of this show as I’ve seen it as both WrestleReunion VI and Pro Wrestling Superstars: Los Angeles but I’ll take the one with Roman numerals. As you can probably guess, it’s a big time indy reunion show featuring a bunch of wrestlers from years past, which can make for some interesting matchups but often some lackluster performances. Let’s get to it.

Here are Mick Foley and Mike Tyson to open things up so there is certainly some star power. Foley talks about his history with Tyson and mentions being a guest referee tonight. Now usually he promises to call a match right down the line and tonight he’s refereeing the New Age Outlaws vs. the Steiner Brothers. This time though Foley needs our help “because Rick Steiner has never liked me and Scotty is out of his f****** mind.” I’ve been watching Mick Foley for about thirty years and I don’t think I can remember three times I’ve heard him use an F bomb. I mean he’s right, but it’s rare.

Usually he’s going to get physically involved, but tonight he isn’t crazy enough to do that. This time though, he has Mike Tyson watching his back so he’s safe to head to St. Louis for the Royal Rumble (that gets a heck of a pop). Tyson takes the mic and talks about various wrestlers he likes, including Billy Graham and Sid Vicious. I really can’t make out most of what he’s saying, but that’s Tyson for you.

We get our first commentary and…..well actually Excalibur is quite good at this kind of show so it should be fine.

Arik Royal vs. Adam Page

This is one of the things I love about watching old shows because Page is 21 years old here and absolutely nothing. Excalibur tells DeRosa to calm down a bit and save some energy, which makes me chuckle for reasons of the future. The bigger Royal goes after the arm to start as commentary actually talks about something interesting, with a discussion of the pressure of having to follow Foley and Tyson.

Royal hits a headscissors into an armdrag but misses the backsplash, allowing Page to miss a standing shooting star. We get a standoff for a bit until Royal nails a spinwheel kick. Royal goes up but dives into a dropkick to the floor. Page tries a running shooting star off the apron and hits Royal’s chest with his head for a nearly terrifying landing. Page takes his necklace back and goes inside…..but we’ve got VADER. I think we’ll call this a no contest at about 4:00 as this is going to be a massacre.

Rating: C-. The ratings are going to be a little bit lighter this time around as this is a one off legends show and not about the match quality. I’ve seen Royal before and he did fine in both matches so he seems to have a little something going for him. Then there’s Page, who would go on to become a huge star on national television. That’s one of the things I love about watching a show like this: seeing someone who is nothing here but would go on to bigger things. Not much of a match of course, but VADER, so we’re fine.

Royal jumps Page post match….and then decides to go after Vader. Well maybe that’s why Page became a bigger star. Vader runs him over so Page tries to come in for a German suplex. Excalibur: “ARE YOU ANTONIO INOKI PAGE???” Destruction ensues but Royal gets up to help double team Vader in the corner.

A double suplex isn’t happening though and Vader mauls Royal again. Royal manages to trap Vader’s arms so Page can go up….but then Vader breaks free and hits Royal in the head. Page gets caught on top and it’s there’s a Vader Bomb. Royal gets chokeslammed and Page gets powerbombed as the Vader stuff went on a good bit longer than the match itself.

New Age Outlaws vs. Steiner Brothers

The only meeting ever here, with Mick Foley (“The hardcore legend and friend of Mike Tyson!”) as guest referee. Road Dogg does his usual stuff and hands it off to Billy Gunn to take it home. Gunn: “IF YA SMELL……” Hang on because that’s not right. Gunn knows he screwed up so let’s try it again. Gunn: “AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM….” No again, but he gets it right on the third time. You can tell he’s serious here too because he’s in the Kip James trunks. Then we get very serious because Scott Steiner grabs the mic and drops his first homophobic slur of the night.

We get a few F bombs to the fans and it’s time to go. Actually hang on because Foley realizes that he’s in over his head here and says he’ll be cowering in the corner. Billy and Scott finally get things going with Scott unloading in the corner. Well at least hitting some slow knees to the ribs. Billy fights out of the corner by punching Scott in the face and it’s off to Dogg. Rick comes in with a double clothesline though and we get the old Steiner Brothers pose.

The Outlaws bail to the floor (Wouldn’t you?) until we settle down to Rick biting Dogg’s pants in the corner. That’s enough to send Dogg outside to ring the bell because he isn’t standing for Rick’s tongue going…..uh, somewhere. Dogg: “I’m not saying we can’t have a drink later and talk about it, but in here, I’m not standing for it!” Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mick Foley has just informed me that he is authorizing tongue in the a** for this match!”

We settle back to Rick backing Billy into the corner, with Gunn’s trunks coming down a good bit in the process. Gunn gets in a right hand but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rick to bite him right in the middle of the back of the trunks. That sends Gunn over to grab Dogg around the waist, giving us the expected reaction. It’s off to Dogg, who wants Scott for no logical reason. He has to stay with Rick, who he drives into the Steiner corner so Scott can come in for some shots to the ribs. Well he got what he wanted.

Dogg’s bouncing punches manage to put Scott down for two, with the fans saying YOU STILL GOT IT. I’ll let you figure out which one they’re talking about. Scott is back with a spinning belly to belly suplex and Rick gets in some choking from the apron. Foley: “MIKE TYSON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOU???” Scott suplexes Dogg and goes into the pushups, earning a cheer despite not being so nice earlier in the night.

Rick slaps on the crossface of all things as Marty gets his Mike Tyson history wrong (by saying that Mike Tyson called Steve Austin “Cold Stone” on Raw when it was at the Royal Rumble). Dogg fights up and gets the hot tag off to Gunn for some house cleaning. The belly to belly cuts that off and it’s time for Scott to get in Foley’s face. That means Mr. Socko…..who goes flying after a single Scott glare. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser for a pretty fast three at 11:32.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not half bad whatsoever. They were actually working a bit and while of course it wasn’t great (they’re old and mainly retired), they did some goofy stuff to bridge the gap. The Foley being scared stuff helped a lot and I liked it well enough. For a one off dream match, I’ve seen far, far worse.

Post match Rick finds Socko and has some Alex flashbacks (look it up).

Colt Cabana vs. Fit Finlay

Under World Of Sport (British) rules and a fan who won an auction gets to handle the introductions. There are three five minute rounds and you can win by pin, submission or knockout. There are no closed fists allowed either, which probably won’t make that much of a difference but it’s certainly a rule. Another fan gets to be Cabana’s corner man but Cabana says we’re about two minutes away. The referee goes over the rules, with Cabana asking if a kick low is legal (Cabana: “WHAT ABOUT A KICK TO THE D***?”).

We get the bell to start the first round, as commentary still hasn’t actually explained the rules here. Finlay grabs Cabana’s leg so Cabana bails into the corner in a hurry as commentary explains the idea of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. A shot to the face rocks Cabana again and the corner man has to check on his face.

That seems to be ok so Finlay takes him down into a toehold. Finlay grabs a nerve hold and ribs at Cabana’s face because he’s kind of an awesome villain. Back up and Finlay starts in on the arm, with commentary almost calling Finlay a grizzled young veteran (like that would ever work for a UK wrestler). Cabana finally comes back with a headlock takeover and one fan calls it boring. Round one ends but Cabana doesn’t want to let go of the headlock that he worked so hard to get in the first place.

After the corner man gives Cabana some water and towels him down, we’re ready to go with round two. Some uppercuts rock Cabana as Excalibur says he suffers from knowitallism. Finlay stomps on the fingers and kicks him in the face before sending Cabana outside for a needed breather. The corner man adds some slaps (despite NOT being in the corner) and we get some Cabana sneering. Finlay heads outside to yell at a fan so Cabana tells the corner man to slap Finlay in the face.

Thankfully that isn’t going to happen so Finlay doesn’t get to do something so horrible that I can’t come up with a good metaphor for the level of violence. Back in and Finlay hits some elbows to send him outside, setting up a whip into the barricade. They get back inside for some arm cranking/stomping into a keylock to keep Cabana down. The round ends with Finlay evening things up by not letting go of the arm either, which does not seem good for Cabana either.

Finlay goes extra evil by jumping Cabana during his meeting with the corner man. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to start the third round but Cabana fights up. That earns him an arm first whip into the corner and it’s back to the armbar with a knee in the shoulder. A Jake Roberts short arm clothesline sets up the running seated senton but Cabana reverses into a sunset flip for a creative counter. The Flying Apple (which might not have been named yet) connects but it’s too early for the Billy Goat’s Curse. Finlay kicks him shoulder first into the post and then does it again for a bonus. The Celtic Cross finishes Cabana at 15:16.

Rating: C. This didn’t really feel like some kind of special British match as it was really just Finlay working the arm and the a regular finish. The rounds didn’t change much either and I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing. It was fine as a regular match, but they seemed to be going for something special here and it just wasn’t there.

7OH!4 vs. Unholy Alliance

7OH!4 is Caleb Konley/Cedric Alexander, with commentary saying they are the next CM Punk/Colt Cabana or Motor City Machine Guns. Eh they were names but hold on a second there. The Alliance is Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck, former ECW Tag Team Champions but unfortunately minus James Mitchell/Sinister Minister. Konley grabs a wristlock on Mikey to start but he’s right back with a hiptoss into a headscissors despite not being the size of a guy you would expect to use a headscissors.

We hear about some rookie named Zack Ryder to come out of Mikey’s school as Tajiri comes in to a rather big reaction. Tajiri misses a swinging kick to Alexander’s face so it’s a hammerlock to take Alexander down instead. Back up and Alexander’s headlock doesn’t work and Tajiri starts firing off the kicks to the arm. Mikey comes in to pick Alexander up so Tajiri can nail a dropkick to the face. There’s a double gutbuster to Konley and stereo kicks to the head have him on the floor as the fans are rather pleased.

Mikey’s slingshot dive takes out both of them and the referee begins a rather slow count. Tajiri however won’t dive so Mikey comes back in and gets enziguried into a Downward Spiral for two (with Excalibur getting in the beta version of combiNATION, because I can’t escape the thing). Konley grabs the cravate to hold Mikey down for a bit, followed by the basement clothesline to give Alexander two. Tajiri spits at Alexander (with commentary thinking it’s Konley) and it’s a double Russian legsweep to drop Mikey for two.

Hold on though as Tajiri comes in to….pull Mikey’s pants up and then head back to the apron. Well at least he’s polite. Embracing the power of raised pants, Mikey superkicks Alexander (THE PANTS WORKED!) and it’s back to Tajiri to clean house. Everything breaks down and Tajiri’s superkick gets tow on Konley. Mikey snaps off a pretty nice Frankensteiner on Alexander and a low makes it worse. The referee checks on Alexander and Tajiri mists Konley, setting up the Whippersnapper for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I know Mikey and Tajiri were a big deal in the dying days of ECW but they were a rather nice team who still looked good here. You don’t get something like that very often and it was fun to see them working so well. Alexander and Konley were still really young here so losing to a team with some credibility, even if it was twelve years old at this point, was fine. Pretty good match here too so well done on a little surprise.

Demus 3:16 vs. Mascarita Dorado

Minis match and Dorado is better known as El Torito. Demus is a good bit bigger and is probably about Rey Mysterio size. A wristdrag takes Demus down to start and frustration is already setting in. Demus knocks him down without much effort so Dorado starts rolling around as we hear about the WWF Light Heavyweight division. Dorado pulls him into the cross armbreaker but Demus powers him up with ease because the size difference is a bit much here.

Back up and a rather spinning headscissors sends Demus outside, setting up the big suicide dive. Dorado manages to throw him back inside for a fireman’s carry, which is a little more impressive than you might think. A fireman’s carry slam sets up a moonsault but the second moonsault only hits raised boots. Demus grabs a tilt-a-whirl into a Dominator (cool) and there’s a giant swing to send Dorado down again. They head outside with Dorado being dropped onto the timekeeper’s table and Demus takes him back in for a pop up powerslam.

There’s a heck of a toss as Excalibur talks about Wolverine debuting back in the 1960s. Dorado bounces up out of the corner with a double springboard headbutt, followed by a crazy spinning (as in he spins around Demus about ten times) into a headscissors to the floor. That earns the HOLY S*** chant, setting up the top rope hurricanrana to take Demus down again. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana, with Dorado landing on his feet because, sets up another very spinning hurricanrana into a small package for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Yeah this was fun and Dorado is one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. He can do all kinds of stuff out there and makes it look easy, which is about as cool as you can get. Demus was a good target for Dorado as he is so much bigger, allowing Dorado to do all of his spots out there. Throw in getting in and out fairly fast and this was a lot of fun. Not great, but it was the kind of match that fit in perfectly on a show like this.

Dorado having a salsa version of the Mission Impossible theme makes it even better. The fans throw in the money so Dorado slaps him in the face with a dollar. That might seem rude, but Demus picks the dollar up and, ahem, cleans himself with it so Dorado is better….I guess?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Steen

Street fight and for you younger people, Steen is better known as Kevin Owens. The fans seem split here and it’s an exchange of hammerlocks to start. Dreamer’s shoulder bounces off of Steen (Steen: “IN YOUR DREAMS!”) and it’s time to hammer on Dreamer for a bit. Steen drop toeholds him down and hits the flipping legdrop to the back of Dreamer’s head. Back up and Dreamer kicks him low in the corner to send Steen outside, setting up the running flip dive off the apron.

A bottle of water to the head rocks Steen again but Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade because Dreamer spends too much time pointing at the crowd (as Dreamer tends to do). They brawl through the crowd and Steen hits him over the back with a well stolen crutch. Dreamer gets taken up onto a camera table and gets knocked down onto (not through) another table in a big crash. Back into the crowd with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a Steen DVD.

Dreamer sends him into the barricade and then heads backstage to grab the usual assortment of weapons. A hockey stick to the back rocks Steen again and there’s….something made of wood over Steen’s head. Dreamer gets sent into a plastic tray in the corner and Steen hits him in the knee with a stick. The Sharpshooter goes on (because Steen is Canadian) but is broken up in a hurry. Dreamer misses a charge into the post so Steen puts a stop sign over him to set up the Cannonball, which is not the brightest move in the world.

That lets Steen tie him in the Tree of Woe and this isn’t going to end well. Indeed, as Steen hits a running dropkick to a chair in the face. Commentary starts making Steven Segal references as Dreamer catches him on top with a superplex. Dreamer wins the big slugout so Steen goes low in a smart move. The Even Flow gets two but Dreamer catches him on top to break up a moonsault.

Now it’s Steen in the Tree of Woe so Dreamer can hit him low with a stick. There’s the running basement dropkick to drive a stop sign into Steen’s face and now it’s time to grab a piece of barricade. That takes too long though and Steen superkicks him off the apron. The fans want to see someone use a hammer but they settle for Dreamer kicking a rope for a low blow. With nothing else working, one of the fans gives Dreamer a HUGE hammer, which he uses to crush the bell between Steen’s legs. Steen is fine enough to shove Dreamer onto the piece of barricade inside and a Swanton finishes Dreamer at 19:24.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty hard hitting street fight, though it did run a good bit longer than it should have. What mattered here was the idea of the old hardcore legend vs. the new breed and that worked out rather well. I’m not wild on these matches most of the time but this one was pretty fun, which is about all you can hope for in this kind of a situation.

Post match Steen is ready to say something to Dreamer but Raven runs in to hit Steen low and DDT Dreamer for old times’ sake. Steen to Raven: “You’re a f****** a**hole!” Steen to Dreamer: “Thank you.”

Intermission, which is cut from the video.

Roderick Strong vs. Jake Manning

Manning is an adult Manscout and comes out to a John Cougar Mellencamp song, which I believe was used in the Waterboy. After Manning gives the referee some lessons on how to properly call a match, he takes Strong down to the mat for a headscissors. They grapple on the mat for a bit with Strong getting the better of things but that is broken up in a hurry. Manning takes him back down by the arm as commentary talks about how it might be difficult to find footage on Manning, who rarely leaves the southeast.

Strong is back up with a shot to the face and unloads with the chops in the corner. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock on Manning but he’s right back up with a kick to the face. Manning drops an elbow for two and drives Strong into the corner for the choking. They head outside with Manning sending him into the apron for two, setting up the next chinlock. That’s broken up as well and they go with a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls each. Strong is back up with a dropkick and they’re both down for a breather.

It’s Strong up first with a bunch of running forearms into a belly to back suplex for two more. Manning comes back with an (oddly appropriate for reasons that I can’t figure out) airplane spin. Strong isn’t having that and hammers away but Manning is right back with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral for three. Only two of them count though due to the foot being on the rope though, meaning Strong can come back with an enziguri. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s the backbreaker into the Sick Kick to finish Manning at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I like to see on a show like this, as Strong is a much bigger name than Manning but they went back and forth well enough here to make you believe that Manning could pull it off. The match worked well as Strong can have a good match against anyone and Manning held up his end despite being known for little more than his gimmick. Good stuff here, with a nice battle of the generations.

Davey Richards vs. Harry Smith

That would be Davey Boy Smith Jr., freshly released from WWE, and this could be interesting. They go with the technical exchange to start (shocking I know) with Richards getting him down into a modified surfboard and rolling him up for two. That’s broken up for a standoff and they lock up, with Smith absolutely towering over Richards. It’s back to the mat with Smith grabbing a short armscissors and rolling him around a bit.

That’s reversed into something like an Indian Deathlock from Richards to crank on the leg. Make that a Muta Lock with commentary thinking Richards would do well at Subway. Smith slips out and cranks him down by the arm, setting up a full nelson. That’s broken up as well as Richards rolls out with an armdrag, only to get pulled into a spinning belly to belly for two. More arm cranking has Richards down again but he sends Smith to the floor. There’s the running kick to the chest from the apron, setting up the suicide dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick sends Smith into the corner. It’s time to start working on the leg, with Davey kicking away and grabbing a Trailer Hitch. Richards stomps on both knees at once and it’s a dragon screw legwhip into a half crab. Now it’s an STF as the fans start shouting various things. Smith fights up and kicks him into the corner, setting up a powerslam for two.

Smith crotches him on top and grabs a delayed superplex for a slightly delayed near fall. A superkick and a powerbomb give Smith two more each but Richards kicks him down again. The top rope double stomp gets two and we hit the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a roll into the post, allowing Smith to grab a cross armbreaker. Richards rolls into another ankle lock, which Smith reverses into one of his own.

The grapevined version is countered into a Sharpshooter, which Smith reverses into his own Sharpshooter. Smith grabs a small package for two but Richards BLASTS him with a knee for the same. Back up and Smith tries a powerbomb but Richards reverses into a sunset flip. Smith sits down on it ala his dad against Bret Hart, only to have Richards slip out into a cradle for the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B. It was good action throughout and Smith looked good in defeat, but egads I had forgotten how hard it is to get invested in a Richards match. He is so ultra serious all the time, though at least he wasn’t doing his “get kicked in the head and scream a lot without selling anything” and writing it off as strong style. This got the crowd going and I certainly didn’t hate it though, which is some high praise for a Richards match.

Post match Richards says he can’t believe the people up north let Smith go. Richards talks about the similarities between the two of them, including idolizing the same people growing up. Respect is shown and Smith says it’s better to hear these fans chant his name instead of Michael Cole every Monday night. Wrestling will always be #1 for him, even if he jumps into MMA (which he didn’t).

El Generico/Great Sasuke vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are actually young here and come out to MMMBop, which is rather frustrating. Matt does the Randy Savage finger spin and Nick parodies the Spinarooni (there’s your 90s reference). The fans go NUTS for Generico and it’s a shame that he retired so soon after this. You know Excalibur is right there with all of the Sasuke history because this is his thing.

Generico reveals a half Generico/Sasuke mask and takes Nick down to start. An exchange of wristlocks goes nowhere so Nick drives him into the corner and starts in on the arm again. We hear about how completely and utterly amazing the Bucks are as Sasuke comes in to headlock Nick. Some kicks to the ribs have little effect on Sasuke (the only time Sasuke and Rick Rude will be compared), who elbows Nick in the head. Generico comes back in and gets taken into the corner so Matt can talk a lot of trash.

A few quick armdrags have Matt in trouble as we hear about Sasuke making a documentary about mouthwash (or something). Generico hammers away on Matt in the corner and fires off chops against the ropes for a bonus. Matt is back with the headscissors to hold Generico in place, allowing Nick to kick him in the mask and into the barricade. Back in and Matt laughs at Generico, setting up the slow motion stomping.

We hit the front facelock until Nick comes back in for some shots in the corner. A handspring rake to the back sets up a slingshot hilo as Excalibur talks about how the Young Bucks have a supernatural feel for the DMZ on the thirty third parallel in the ring. Generico rakes the Bucks’ chests to escape but it’s still too early for the tag. Matt’s waistlock keeps Generico in trouble but he manages the exploder suplex into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Sasuke to clean house as everything breaks down. Sasuke dropkicks Nick through the ropes and Generico hits the big running flip dive to crush Matt. Back in and a Blockbuster gets two on Matt and Sasuke takes a LONG time to go up for a Ram Jam (from The Wrestler), allowing Matt to roll away. The Bucks take turns kicking Sasuke in the back of the trunks but it’s back to Generico for the Blue Thunder Bomb to Nick.

The Helluva Kick is broken up but Nick kicks Matt in the head but mistake. Sasuke crushes Nick with a springboard missile dropkick, only to have Nick low bridge him to the floor. A wheelbarrow faceplant gives Matt two on Generico and Risky Business gets the same. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a half and half suplex and Sasuke is back with a powerbomb to Nick. Matt superkicks Sasuke though and everyone is down again.

Nick comes back in to knee Sasuke off the apron but Generico sends Nick’s kick into Matt’s head. You know the Bucks aren’t selling that though and it’s a double superkick into the assisted Tombstone for two on Generico with Sasuke making another save. Nick misses a moonsault and Sasuke hits a big flip dive onto Matt on the floor. That gets the fans back into it and Generico’s Swanton gets two on Nick. Now the Helluva Kick can connect to set up the brainbuster onto the buckle to finish Nick at 21:12.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting and it was nice to see the Bucks actually lose for a change. You don’t usually see the dream team beating the regular partners so this was quite the surprise. It really is a shame that Generico retired, as he is quite the star. You can see how influential he was too, as a lot of people would copy his style, almost down to the move at times.

Wrestle Royal

20 man Royal Rumble and Ken Shamrock is a ringside enforcer. Matt Classic (I hear Colt Cabana is a big fan) is in at #1 and Lanny Poffo is in at #2 for one of the most unique matches I can remember seeing in a long time. Commentary makes it clear that entrants will be STRICTLY timed, after an apparent issue last year. Classic slowly hammers away at the back and grabs a claw but misses the bottom rope splash. Poffo actually manages the moonsault (not bad for 57) and goes for the mask.

Rock Riddle (the original Mr. Wonderful, who I’ve never actually seen wrestle) is in at #3 as we seem to have 90 second intervals. Riddle doesn’t actually get in the ring as Classic and Poffo continue their slow motion fighting. The timing is already a bit off as Carlos Colon (The Youngster!) is in at #4. Colon gets to hit both guys in the head as commentary continues its running joke of Classic feuding with every old wrestler ever. Riddle finally comes in (I wasn’t betting on the flower print gear) for a few shots of his own as Gangrel is in at #5.

Brawling continues as Gangrel (getting a rather strong reception) bites Poffo in the corner. The clock is even further all over the place as Jesse Hernandez is in at #6. Classic gets beaten up some more but gets choked in the corner by Gangrel. Mando Guerrero is in at #7 and gets quite the reception as he beats on Classic. They finally start teasing some eliminations (and no you cannot expect any kind of serious quality out of this) until Kevin Sullivan is in at #8.

Stick shots abound until Colon headbutts the stick out of Sullivan’s hands. Colon stabs Sullivan in the stomach with said stick and then beats Gangrel in the back. Piloto Suicida (still active today) is in at #9 as the ring is really getting full. The rapid fire entrances (now barely at a minute) continue as Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 (OF COURSE Dreamer is working twice) to hammer on Gangrel as commentary talks about how these two are some of the youngest in the match. Everyone is still in as Dreamer beats on Classic, apparently as payback for all of those boring Madison Square Garden main events.

Robbie E., the reigning TNA TV Champion, is in at #11 and promises to become the youngest ever winner of this match. Then Dreamer tosses him in a hurry for a funny bit. Virgil (to Ted DiBiase’s music) is in at #12 as Poffo, Colon and Guerrero were all put out somewhere. Greg Valentine, coming out to Sharp Dressed Man of all things, is in at #13. Classic is doing Hindu squats as Sullivan hits Suicida with the bell. Valentine has Dreamer in the Figure Four as Gangrel drops elbows.

Konnan is in at #14 to go after Sullivan, with commentary (thankfully) bringing up the Dungeon of Doom. Dan Severn is in at #15 and this could be interesting. Gangrel goes after Severn in a hurry as the ring is too full again. Jimmy Hart, with a lot of padding, of all people is in at #16 and wisely walks around the ring for a bit.

Godfather, with his ladies, is in at #17 and Gangrel eliminates himself to join in. Hart was eliminated off screen and Brutus Beefcake is in at #18 (dang I miss that theme) and goes after Valentine to ruin the Dream Team reunion. Bradley Ray Schreak (an auction winner) is in at #19 as Sullivan is out. Beefcake grabs the sleeper on Schreak as Suicida is out. Schreak gets a haircut, including with the big scissors, as Severn gets rid of Virgil. The match completely stops for the haircut until Schreak wakes up and panics over his hair being gone.

That’s enough for an elimination and it’s Raven in at #20 (with Dreamer waiting on him) to complete the field. The final grouping is Classic, Dreamer, Valentine, Konnan, Severn, Godfather, Beefcake and Raven. Hang on though as Raven doesn’t want to get in, only to have Kevin Steen come out and jump him from behind. Steen throws Raven in for a DDT from Dreamer, who tosses Raven without much trouble. Dreamer, ever the genius, jumps out to beat on Raven some more and beats him to the back with Steen. Classic is eliminated and there goes Konnan.

We’re down to Severn, Valentine, Beefcake and Godfather (I love indy wrestling) but Shamrock distracts Severn, allowing Valentine to toss him. Severn pulls Valentine out and we’re down to two. The Ho Train misses Godfather but he low bridges Beefcake out for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C. Fun. What other word is there to describe something like this? They weren’t trying to do anything serious here and it was all about having people get a quick payoff and come out to a pop. It worked at the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001 and it works at any show like this. I had a good time with it and that’s the entire point of this kind of match. It’s a lot of fun, and well done on doing what they should have.

The women come in to dance with Godfather, who hits his catchphrase (while clearly having a blast) to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve seen a good number of these reunion style shows and this was one of the better ones, with a nice mixture of old vs. new and some legends matches thrown in there as well. They had some big names included and while they might have had a better option as the main event (though it did fit the reunion theme), this was a lot of fun. It’s longer than it needs to be (at nearly three and a half hours, not counting intermission), but I had a good time with it and that is entirely the goal with something like this.

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Stan Hansen vs. Ivan Putski

Hansen is one of the most famous gaijin (foreigner) in Japanese wrestling history. Here he is against one of the other most famous ones at an All Japan show in 1982.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Off to the WWC at some point in 1984 with Hansen teaming with his most famous partner against a surprising combination.

Abdullah the Butcher/Carlos Colon vs. Bruiser Brody/Stan Hansen

This is a lumberjack match. Apparently Colon knew he was in big trouble against these guys so he got his archrival to help him out. They double team Brody to start but Hansen comes in with a cheap shot to take over. Butcher gets stomped down by the monsters but drives Hansen into the corner for a headbutt from Colon for two. Stan hammers away on him as well and Carlos is busted open. The monsters start double teaming again but Colon crawls over to make the hot tag to Butcher. Everything breaks down but the lumberjacks come in for the quick no contest.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen would win the title from Martel soon after this and defended it at WrestleRock 1986.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

AWA Title: Stan Hansen vs. Jerry Blackwell

This is from about a month prior and it’s the night before Hansen forfeited the title and it was handed to Bockwinkle. Why are they showing this? I don’t know. They point out everything I just told you, but whatever. This is from Oakland in case you’re wondering. I guess this is from an old TV taping or something? Blackwell weighs about 500 pounds so Hansen is in by far better shape…somehow.

Hansen doesn’t have his vest off yet. Blackwell has a bad ankle apparently. Hansen is busted open. Yeah this is from June 28, but they’re airing it on July 22. Sure, why not? Hansen can’t slam him of course. Blackwell is your standard big fat man that can’t really do much of anything due to his excessive fatness. Hansen is in a bearhug and he’s totally no selling it for the most part.

The referee goes down as Blackwell hits the splash. A boot to the back of the head of Blackwell and he’s down. Another boot shot and he’s getting up. Yeah the more you hit him the more he gets up. Why does this make no sense? Blackwell is bleeding as we’re at about 15 shots with the boot. The new referee comes in and does the incredibly stupid thing and tackles Hansen. After getting his head kicked in, Blackwell gets up after about 20 boot shots and beats up Hansen. What a mess at the end.

Rating: D+. This was a brawl and not a very interesting one. For whatever reason Blackwell was WAY over and that’s about it here. The ending was a mess as this flt like something from a house show or something like that. Nothing good at all here but it was an ok brawl I suppose.

Back to Japan for the AJPW/WWF Wrestling Summit on April 13, 1990 with Hansen in the main event.

Stan Hansen vs. Hulk Hogan

Like I said this was supposed to be Gordy, but that didn’t happen. HOLY CRAP Hansen is freaking nuts! He runs the announcer over, literally. It’s saying a lot when a guy is named after his finishing move. Hogan gets an epic pop for the song called Real American from a Tokyo audience. That’s impressive in its own right.

Anyone that says he’s not the biggest international star ever is freaking NUTS. Austin had a hotter period, but no one has Hogan’s longevity at that spot. Granted his refusal to leave said spot killed WCW, but whatever. Crowd is NUTS for this. This is easily the most into a match they’ve been all night. It’s very rare when Hogan might be the more technically sound of the two.

This is where the Cena knows five moves argument falls apart as Hogan is wrestling a very technical style, hitting his second drop toehold in two minutes, adding in a three quarter nelson. This turns into a brawl, which makes sense as it’s what both men do best. Hogan is dominating, which is very odd indeed. He throws in what would today be called an Angle Slam for good measure. Hansen has done almost nothing at all here.

They hit the crowd for a bit and Hansen is slammed onto a table. Note that it was onto a table and not through it. We’ve been going about 6 minutes here and it has been ALL Hogan. Hansen is busted. He gets a boot in the corner to a MASSIVE pop. Out in the crowd again he gets a chair to Hogan’s head and the big bald man is bleeding. The announcers are having another orgasm as their balls must be aching from having so many here.

Hansen is dominating now and he gets a few shots with the bull rope to Hogan. He calls for the Lariat to a huge pop but Hogan hits a forearm to block. Leg drop misses and Hansen gets two off of that. HOGAN THROWS A FREAKING CROSS BODY! AND IT WAS DECENT!!! After a big boot for a block, Hogan hits a big clothesline for the pin. That came from out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. It was shorter than I would have liked, but to have Hogan dominate the majority of the match and then hit something other than the leg drop for the pin. It was a very nice change of pace. Hogan’s offense wasn’t nearly as great as it’s made out to be, but it’s certainly different and a nice break from what we’re used to. For a main event it was fine, but a few more minutes would have helped it a lot.

It was back to America later in the year with Hansen appearing in WCW at Clash of the Champions XII.

Z-Man vs. Stan Hansen

Off to Halloween Havoc 1990 for a US Title shot.

US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger

Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.

Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.

And a rematch at Starrcade 1990.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen

Back in and Luger starts dragging Hansen around but Stan holds back after the third buckle. Lex finally pulls away and gets the fourth buckle but the referee goes down at the same time. Another referee comes out as Hansen starts touching buckles with Luger tied around the throat again. Hansen gets a third buckle as the original referee is waking up. Stan knocks Luger out and touches the fourth buckle to retain the title.

One more WCW match at WrestleWar 1991.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

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WWC Anniversary Show 1988: Hot Night In Bayamon
Date: September 10, 1988
Location: Bayamon Stadium, Bayamon, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 23,000
Commentator: Hugo Savinovich, Brad Batten, Bert Batten

This is the first full Puerto Rico show I’ve ever done and it’s from the World Wrestling Council. Hot Night in Bayamon is their anniversary show for the year but I’m pretty sure this isn’t a complete version. Odds are it’s a trimmed down home video which is about as good as you can expect for something like this. I’ll be lost most of the time for this so bear with me. Let’s get to it.

Savinovich and a tag team called Double Trouble welcome us to the show and run down the card. Their commentary was recorded after the event.

Jimmy Valiant/Rufus R. Jones vs. Wild Samoans

Thank goodness there are English announcers. The Samoans in question here are Afa and Sika. From what I can tell this is the third match on the card but the first two might have been dark matches. We finally get a bell after a lot of standing around. Jimmy goes after Afa while Rufus knocks Sika (father of one Roman Reigns) out to the floor.

Things settle down again until it’s Afa vs. Valiant. Jimmy teases dancing with Afa before dropping down to hit him low. Sika takes a right hand off the apron as we’re still waiting for this to get going. The Samoans’ heads are rammed together before Rufus comes in and elbows away. More dancing ensues and Sika is getting annoyed. Sika grabs a headlock but Jones dances his way to freedom.

Back to Afa who doesn’t mind the chops in the corner but a low blow finally puts him down. They botch a spot where Afa was supposed to hit Sika when Rufus moved but Afa stopped his punch. The hot tag brings in Jimmy who clean house before Rufus hits a dancing low blow of his own. Jones gets double teamed in the corner but he basically shrugs it off and crawls over for the tag off to Jimmy. The referee keeps Rufus out as the Samoans throw Jimmy over the top for the DQ.

Rating: D. Oh man this wasn’t very good. Valient was ALL look and having fun with the crowd and was absolutely horrible in the ring. The Samoans were just doing the basics here but the live crowd seemed to like it a little bit. Jones and his dancing schtick got really annoying and I’ll never get why low blows are fine but something like going over the top is a DQ. Yeah that’s a standard rule, but priorities people. This was more about star power than anything else as all four were known names in America.

Assuming the Wikipedia page for this show is accurate, the show is going out of order now as there was another match (airing later) that took place between the tag match and the following match.

Puerto Rico Heavyweight Title: Mr. Pogo vs. Ricky Santana

Santana is defending and this is apparently a very big feud. The champion jumps Pogo to start and is all fired up. A middle rope forearm sends Pogo out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Pogo takes him into the corner to hammer the champion down to take over. They head back outside where Pogo holds up the title like a true villain would. Santana trips him up and wraps Pogo’s leg around the post.

A slam puts Pogo down on the floor and things slow down again. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for the champ but a manager distraction lets Pogo get in a cheap shot to take over. Pogo slams Ricky’s head into the mat and pounds away before we hit the nerve hold. Santana finally fights back and is all fired up again, hammering away at Pogo’s head.

He makes the mistake of going after the manager again though and Pogo takes over, only to miss a middle rope splash. Ricky misses the top rope version though and Pogo tries a cobra clutch. Santana fights out of it but runs into a big right hand. Pogo sends him out to the floor and knocks him off the apron with a football tackle. Ricky comes right back with a sunset flip for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. WAY better match here though it could have been about two minutes shorter. Santana was young and in good shape, making him seem almost like a pretty boy with some fire in him. Pogo was a decent monster heel who probably did a lot more with run ins and segments than in the ring.

Pogo and the manager beat Santana up and put him in the Cobra Clutch, making him foam at the mouth.

Tag Team Titles: Batten Twins vs. Sheepherders

The Twins (Brad and Bart) are defending and I believe they’re the commentators called Double Trouble. The Sheepherders are better known as the Bushwhackers. This match was much later on the card, going on second to last. The stalling immediately begins with the champions heading outside and posing a bit. Back in with the champions doing the do see do bit into a double dropkick to send the champions outside.

Bart shoves Luke into the corner to start as it’s really strange to hear commentators talk about a match they’re participating in. Luke comes back with a hard clothesline to take over. Butch comes in without a tag but Bart dropkicks both guys down and rams the Sheepherders’ heads together to send them back outside. Off to Brad vs. Luke for an awkward segment culminating in Brad dropkicking him down for two.

Luke comes back with a knee to the ribs but misses a middle rope headbutt. Brad dropkicks Luke tot he floor again and for some reason there’s no hot tag. Luke quickly comes back in and the twins switch behind the referee’s back. It’s not really clear if the twins are heels or faces based on their actions. More switching behind the referee’s back has Luke in trouble until Butch trips let’s say Brad up to take over.

A belt shot to the back gets two and Bart tries to help, only allowing Luke to throw Brad over the top and out to the floor. Butch rams him into various hard objects outside but he’s able to sunset flip Luke for two back inside. It’s off to Butch legally for a change and a forearm to the chest gets two. Luke hooks a chinlock as Savinovich talks about how complicated it is to have the commentators being in the match.

Luke misses a middle rope headbutt and the hot tag brings in Bart. He hooks a quick sleeper on Luke and everything breaks down. Luke is whipped into Brad but it’s Butch being knocked to the floor. Brad hits a top rope cross body on Luke but the referee goes down, allowing Butch to hit Brad in the head with a flagpole, giving the Sheepherders the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a pretty solid tag match with a basic brawler vs. high flier(ish) formula. The screwjob ending would have had the fans near a riot so the reaction was exactly what they were shooting for. The twins reminded me of someone like the Killer Bees so they would have fit in really well for something like this.

Another referee comes out and tells the first referee what happened so the Battens get the belts back.

Wahoo McDaniel vs. Danny Spivey

Two more guys here for name value. They stall to start as the announcers talk about some rivalry from when these guys played football. Danny tries to work on the arm but gets chopped back into the corner. Spivey kicks him in the ribs to take over and bites Wahoo’s forehead open. He drives some elbows into the cut and we’re already in the chinlock. The hold stays on for a good while before Danny kicks him in the head for two. Wahoo comes back with a low blow but charges into a boot to the jaw in the corner. The referee pulls Danny’s feet off the ropes, allowing McDaniel to grab a really bad rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Spivey wasn’t bad but Wahoo was just big and old at this point. The match wasn’t anything to see and like I said was just there because both guys are known names. McDaniel would somehow stick around another EIGHT YEARS doing this kind of stuff, which is good for him but rather annoying for the fans that had to sit through his matches. He was very entertaining back in the day but not so much by about 1985.

Chicky Starr vs. Invader #3

The card continues to be all over the place as this and the previous match have swapped places. There’s actually a story here as Starr had invited a guy named the Super Medic to be on his interview segment but Medic was really Invader #3 in a fake mask. Starr’s man Manny Fernandez had put Invader out recently and it’s time for revenge. We see Starr get his head shaved so stitches can be put in to kill some time. Starr vs. Invader #1 was a feud that ran over TWENTY YEARS. Let that sink in for a minute before you complain about Cena vs. Orton again.

Invader #3 attacks Starr before the bell and the fight is on fast. He punches Starr out to the floor with ease and Chicky is in really early trouble. Chicky is already busted open so Invader sends him into the post for good measure. Back in and Invader bites at the cut to bust him open even further. Starr finally hits him low to get a breather and atomic drop has about the same effect.

They slug it out with Invader taking over off a headbutt. Starr begs off but gets kicked in the ribs to put him right back down. More biting of the forehead ensues and a big right hand to the head sends Chicky outside. Starr comes back with a kick to the side of the head but Invader just punches him down again. Invader chokes against the ropes but Chicky hits him low to take over again.

The announcers continue to praise Starr as they’ve gone full heel on commentary after starting the night as standard good guys. That’s interesting but I’ve never seen anything else on the twins. Invader gets two off a spinning cross body but Starr rolls it over into a two of his own. Starr blocks a monkey flip and drops an elbow for the VERY sudden pin. There didn’t seem to be any cheating in there eiither.

Rating: C. This was a blood feud but I’m not sure why you don’t have Chicky cheat to win there. I like the idea of the story and it works well enough, though this was about two months after Invader #1 was accused of killing Bruiser Brody so I’m assuming #3 was there to fill in. Starr seemed like an interesting character.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Iron Sheik

This is the match they skipped earlier in the night and it seems like more name recognition. Sheik jumps him to start as the announcers talk about how they’re both former World Champions though for different organizations. Sheik chokes away with his head gear but Garvin comes back by raking the back and pulling down the trunks on a rollup attempt.

Sheik comes back with a poke to the eye and a chinlock but Garvin fights up with a top wristlock. Garvin comes back with a BIG chop before they ram heads. Sheik crawls over for two and puts on the camel clutch but Garvin quickly escapes. He crotches Sheik against the post over and over before putting on the sleeper. Sheik escapes as well but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Garvin follows for some brawling and only Ronnie beats the count back in.

Rating: D+. Pretty standard match here and the brawling wasn’t bad. That being said, I have no desire to watch either of these guys in late 1988 and I don’t think many American fans would either. Garvin winning was the better call after the Starr match and thankfully it went by fairly quickly.

Huracan Castillo/Miguel Perez Jr. vs. Bobby Jaggers/Dan Kroffat

This is hair vs. hair and based on the commentary, Jaggers is one of the top heels in the promotion. You might know Kroffat better under the name Phillip LaFon. Jaggers and Kroffat hold the now defunct Carribbean Tag Team Titles. Castillo and Perez, later part of Los Boricuas in the WWF, are a regular team sometimes called the Puerto Rican Express. It’s a brawl to start with Perez and Castillo sending the heels out to the floor.

They head over to the scaffolding with Jaggers getting nailed in the head with a chair. The fight continues around the stadium with Miguel slamming Jaggers down and stomping away but slipping and falling on his face. Things settle down and actually get back in the ring with Jaggers taking Perez into the corner but quickly tagging out to Kroffat. The good guys hiptoss Kroffat down and a double dropkick has Dan reeling.

Kroffat is cornered but comes back with a low blow to Perez. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as the tag brings in Castillo for a vertical suplex to Dan for two. Back to Miguel who gets driven back into the corner and nailed by Jaggers’ whip. Perez reverses a charge into a German suplex for two on Kroffat but Jaggers throws Miguel to the floor.

Kroffat powerbombs Miguel for two and it’s off to Jaggers for some forearms. Bobby allows the hot tag to Castillo and everything breaks down. Miguel is sent to the floor but gets back in just in time to break up a cover off a Hart Attack. Castillo backdrops Kroffat to the floor and into the mud but Kroffat nails him with a spinwheel kick. Everything breaks down again and Castillo falls on top of a monkey flip for the pin on Kroffat.

Rating: C+. This was a bit slow at times and could have used a minute or two trimmed off but it was entertaining enough. This was the basic formula of bullies vs. young speed and it’s going to work almost every time. It felt like another match that would have been a lot better had I gotten to see the buildup.

The losers get their hair cut post match.

The announcers hype up the main event.

Hercules Ayala vs. Carlos Colon

This is a fire match, meaning there are a bunch of what look like socks strung outside the ring and lit on fire. They’re not on the ropes, meaning there are two sets of ropes around the ring. It’s an awesome visual. They slug it out to start as the announcers actually explain the story: Colon was named Wrestler of the Year but Ayala beat Colon up and shoved his wife at the acceptance speech.

Ayala knocks him down and hits Colon with what looks like a can. Carlos stupidly touches the fire but makes a comeback with right hands and a headbutt. Another low blow puts Hercules down and Ayala’s face is shoved into the fire. Oddly enough it doesn’t seem to cause much damage. The fires start going out and the match becomes a lot less interesting in a hurry. Colon misses a middle rope legdrop and Ayala slowly kicks him around the ring. Carlos avoids a knee drop and puts on the Figure Four for the submission.

Rating: D. Well that happened. The backstory was good but man alive did it start looking stupid when the flames went down. At that point it’s just a boring match that only lasted a few minutes. Colon is beloved in Puerto Rico though so the fans went nuts over this. It really didn’t work though.

Carlos puts the hold on again to get some revenge.

The announcers wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D+. There was some decent stuff here but it feels dated and came off like a bunch of names being brought in because they’re names. That doesn’t work without the stories to back it up and really doesn’t work when you would have had the Mega Powers about to explode at this point. It’s not a terrible show but without the stories, it was a bunch of not great wrestling with some decent stories. I’ve seen worse though.

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Time for some ECW today with Balls Mahoney.

Mahoney got his start in the World Wrestling Council down in Puerto Rico. Here he is in his first gimmick against Carlos Colon on March 11, 1989.

Universal Heavyweight Title: Carlos Colon vs. Abbuda Dein

Dein is Palestinian and the Puerto Rico Heavyweight Champion, putting this between late February and mid May. They slug it out before heading outside to trade chops. Colon nails him in the head with the bell before hammering away at the forehead. An atomic drop nearly knocks Dein into a fan before Colon slams him on a stack of wood. Back in and a bloody Dein gets two off a backbreaker and a DDT gets the same.

A few foreign object shots puts Colon down followed by a legdrop for two more. Dein nails a swinging neckbreaker but still can’t get the pin. Colon blocks a Vader Bomb with two knees to the chest before kicking Dein low. He bites Dein’s open cut in a disturbing visual but runs into a boot, setting up Dein’s camel clutch. That goes nowhere as Colon quickly escapes and grabs a backslide for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a bad brawl here but Dein wasn’t the most interesting heel in the world. I’ll give him this though: it took me a few looks at him to see that it was Balls Mahoney. The match was nothing special but it was good for a fairly big time title defense and the fans seemed to love Colon.

After a few years on the independent circuit, Mahoney got a few WWF jobbing spots, including this one on Superstars, December 26, 1992.

Virgil vs. John Rechner

They trade arm holds to start as Jerry Lawler wants to know why he isn’t in the Royal Rumble. Virgil grabs a quick backdrop and an atomic drop. A middle rope clothesline sets up a Russian legsweep to give Virgil the pin.

After a few years in SMW (which is really hard to find individual matches from), Mahoney would appear at In Your House 5 as Xanta Claus, Santa’s evil brother from the South Pole who stole presents from children. He sold out to Ted DiBiase, proving that even SANTA CLAUS had a price. Here’s one of his only matches from some point in December 1995.

Xanta Claus vs. Scott Taylor

DiBiase talks about finding his Million Dollar Champion, who would wind up being Steve Austin. Xanta runs Taylor over to start and chokes a lot before nailing a sambo suplex. The camel clutch ends Scott in a hurry.

Mahoney would finally head to ECW where he achieved his greatest fame. Here’s one of his earlier matches at Cyberslam 1997.

Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards

Mahoney likes leather it seems. Uh…yeah. Use your imagination here people. It’s BWO Stevie here. A little trivia here is that Rob Feinstein, as in the RF in RF Video and a former owner of ROH is playing the Syxx (X-Pac) parody of 7-11 here. Balls has short hair here. He must trim them. The fans aren’t sure who they like here but it seems to be Stevie. I think the BWO is face here but it’s kind of hard to tell in the ECW Arena.

Stevie uses speed to take over, likely just offering Balls some to get him down. Off to an armbar now as the arena flashes his chest to the fans. Oh dear. Fujiwara Armbar now by Stevie (named after Mr. Fuji if you’ve been curious as to that for some odd reason). Balls pounds away for a bit and then it’s right back to Stevie’s armbar. Ten punches in the corner and then Stevie climbs the ropes backwards and rubs his tights in Balls’ face. So he wants Balls around his….never mind.

Another clothesline by Balls gets two. Balls has next to no offense outside of clotheslines and punches. He tries a spinwheel kick with Richards on the apron and yet he hits the floor before Richards. As in like 5 seconds before Richards. Stevie chills on the floor for a minute or so until Balls drags him back in. Middle rope elbow has Stevie in trouble.

This is boring if you couldn’t tell as we’re at about 8:30 so far. Yes, these two get eight and a half minutes. Balls gets a modified atomic drop (more like an elevated punch to the balls, thereby making Stevie’s voice elevated) and makes fun of the BWO. Top rope leg drop misses and it’s a Stunner by Stevie to give him control for all of half a second. Powerbomb and a superkick miss so Stevie kicks him in the balls and then the chin to end this.

Rating: D-. See, this is where the problems came from for ECW. In short, the matches aren’t that good. The characters are ok and the stories are more developed, but at the end of the day the wrestling just wasn’t there for the most part. They had some good talent, but a lot of the time it was a guy that punched a lot and had a finisher and that’s about it. They knew no basic stuff and it was glaringly obvious at times. Also, this getting nearly 13 minutes is a bit much.

And another early one from Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest, which was co-promoted by WWF and ECW.

Balls Mahoney vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

MAJOR miscommunication in there somewhere as this is originally announced Sandman vs. Balls. Bubba runs out instead during Sandman’s entrance and is introduced as Mahoney. Whatever. Sandman’s entrance of course takes forever. Joey takes shots at the announcer and he’s exactly right.

Sandman takes some cane shots from Bubba and here’s Balls. Injury I’m guessing. The announcer is told point blank that this is no contest. Naturally he says no disqualification. This guy is AWFUL. Bubba tries to leave and Balls calls out Bubba and that’s how the match starts. Bubba says no way and Balls threatens the referee to start the match or get a chair shot.

Naturally this is No DQ. So I think the miscommunication earlier is just that the announcer sucks. Bubba dancing is funny stuff. We’re on the floor now with Bubba in control. There’s not much to say here as it’s pretty bad. Bret and Foley are going to have to save this thing.

Bubba takes a beer to the face. Sandman slips Balls a chair. I’ve heard of tripping balls but slipping balls? Sandman looks WASTED. I mean he is gone. Balls ducks a chair and hits two bad cane shots and then one good one for a pin that looked like two. Sandman takes him out instead.

Rating: F+. Just a total mess here and the announcing threw everyone off beyond belief. This was bad anyway as no one wanted to see just Bubba. The Dudleys at this time were a unit and just like today when you took one apart they fell apart completely. This was by far the best of the night.

Next up, Cyberslam 1998 in one of Balls’ many tag matches against the Dudley Boys.

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman

Rotten and Mahoney come out in like a minute. Sandman’s should take roughly four….except he’s coming through the entrance like a normal wrestler. I’m not sure what to make of that. Somehow the entrance still takes nearly five minutes. Bubba is still a country hick and he talks down to Sandman a bit. He wants to wrestle so he gets caned in the head.

The brawl begins of course and Big Dick (the third Dudley) can’t be hurt by kendo stick shots. Instead he hits a chokeslam to Sandman and pounds away a bit. This is one of those matches where it’s just a wild brawl with no real coherence or anything like that. The Dudleys are in control here other than D-Von who is having issues with Axl. Balls hammers on Bubba as well as Sandman crashes to the floor. Oh that was an “elbow drop”. Got it.

Bubba vs. Balls in the ring at the moment. Superkick puts the future Bully down but Bubba manages a superplex of all things. We’ve got a cheese grater to the head of Rotten and he’s busted now. D-Von is beating on him now. There’s no tagging or semblance of order if for some reason you’re confused and were expecting some.

Mahoney is thrown into the crowd for a bit. All three Dudleys put him on a table while his partners are in the ring and down. Bubba goes up on some stage to dive off…and here’s New Jack. He clocks Bubba with a chair and dives onto Balls instead. Spike Dudley and Kronus are in the ring now and it’s a 9 man triple threat tag team match now. Sure, why not?

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman vs. Spike Dudley/John Kronus/New Jack

New Jack’s song plays throughout the match even though Spike and Sandman are the only guys in the ring. Spike gets a bunch of two counts off various small person offense. Sandman goes to the floor but Spike misses a baseball slide. Kronus is busted. Balls is busted. You can make your own jokes there. A standing version of the move that would become known as What’s Up hits New Jack.

The most famous combination of the Dudley Boys sets for the 3D on New Jack but Jack falls down. The big brawl is still going here but it’s far slower. Granted they’ve been fighting for over ten minutes, but why are the new guys so tired? Kronus and Sandman both work on Big Dick. Lucky. It’s table time but it’s not set up. Pretty much just random punches with an occasional weapon being used.

Mahoney gets a belly to back suplex on Spike and sets for a moonsault through the table. Spike pops up and gets something like a tornado DDT through the table to Balls. Axl hits a REALLY inverted reverse DDT to eliminate Spike’s team. Yes this is elimination now. Bubba calls for the 3D on Sandman but the partners interfere. Something resembling a Stun Gun onto a chair is enough for Sandman to pin Bubba and end this.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like these things but at the same time this wasn’t as bad as some of these got. The biggest issue of all is the time, as this ran nearly 20 minutes. Far too long but they kept it mostly entertaining. The extra three guys coming in helped as it energized things a bit. Not horrible but nothing we haven’t seen a few million times already.

Mahoney would form his most successful tag team with Axl Rotten, collectively known as the Hardcore Chair Swinging Fraks. Here’s one of their tries at the titles from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Lance Storm/Chris Candido

Candido and Storm still hate each other. Before the match Candido goes to the back and comes back out to his own music so he can strut along the apron. They get in an argument over whose name is listed first in their entrances. Chris insists on some big match intros before starting with Rotten. Some armdrags put Axl down but he comes back with a takedown. Off to Storm who gets his arm cranked on by both Freaks but Balls misses a splash in the corner.

Back to Axl who drops an elbow on an elevated Storm for two. Storm comes back with a spinwheel kick but Candido tags himself back in, much to Lance’s annoyance. An armdrag quickly takes Chris down and it’s back to Mahoney for an elbow drop. Some left hands in the corner have Candido in more trouble and what was supposed to be a dropkick put Chris down. Mahoney misses a charge and falls to the floor, but he catches Candido’s dive in mid air. Storm goes out to help but Axl dives onto all three guys to put them all on the floor.

Candido slaps his partner on the back and throws him to the floor for a tag but the referee won’t let Storm do the same thing. A suplex puts Axl down but Chris hurts his back and has to tag in Lance. Storm superkicks Axl down for two and Candido puts on a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Candido takes him down with a super hurricanrana for two. Axl fights back and tries a Boston crab but gets kicked off, only to have Rotten bounce off the corner and fall face first down into a low blow on Chris.

A double DDT puts the champions down and the hot tag brings in Mahoney. Candido gets caught in the corner but Sunny comes out for a distraction. Storm has to save her from Mahoney and it starts another argument with the champions. Lance dives onto Axl on the floor but Mahoney hits the Nutcracker Suite. Instead of covering though, he goes over and gets a chair. Storm hits a springboard dropkick to drive the chair into the face for a cover, but Candido breaks up the pin and steals it for himself.

Rating: C-. That’s probably high but I liked this far more than all of the other tag team messes I’ve had to sit through at the last few shows. There was at least an idea here and the stories throughout made sense, even though we didn’t need the Sunny stuff in the middle. Just have her come out with the team to start.

With Rotten injured, Balls would hook up with Masato Tanaka to challenge for the belts at November to Remember 1998.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Masato Tanaka/Balls Mahoney

The Dudleys are defending. Bubba calls the Dudleys the most technically sound wrestlers in the world. He knows there’s no one in the back that can take the titles from them either. Joel says he’s got more game than Parker Brothers. The entrance is significantly shorter than usual this time. Axl Rotten is with the challengers and tells the referee to just get out of the way. The Louisiana State Athletic Commission has said no chairs, but ECW wrestlers don’t listen to commissions so let’s have a Bourbon Street Brawl.

It’s a regular tag match to start with Bubba hammering on Tanaka in the corner. It’s off to D-Von who chops away in the corner and nails a jumping back elbow to the jaw. The Dudleys make sure to go after Tanaka’s injured head before D-Von puts on a quickly broken nerve hold. Bubba comes back in with some shoulder blocks to the ribs followed by a neckbreaker for two. D-Von hammers away but Tanaka hits him low. The effect is minimal though as D-Von hits a reverse inverted DDT to take over again.

D-Von tries a People’s Elbow but stops at the last second and turns it into a headbutt. It only hits mat though and the tag brings in Mahoney. The parody was fine once from Meanie but twice in one show doesn’t hold up very well. Bubba is sent to the floor and the challengers throw D-Von on top of him. Tanaka takes both of them down with a big dive but Balls slips off the top before diving onto everybody.

Bubba heads back inside and dives down to take out the other three people. Back in and Tanaka fires off some elbows to Bubba but gets caught in a rack neckbreaker from Big Dick. Axl nails Big Dick with a chair a few times but gets hit by a wooden sign from Sign Guy. That earns him a Nutcracker Suite from from Mahoney but Gertner has a chair. He nails Mahoney in the head and does a dance but Balls is just standing there. Joey: “Gertner is going to die.” Balls misses his big swing but now all four people in the match are in the ring with chairs.

The challengers get nailed in the head three times in a row before they finally drop. They’re quickly back up though and nail stereo Roaring Elbows to drive the chairs into the Dudleys’ face. Jeff Jones won’t count the pin and pulls out a Japanese to English dictionary to explain what happened to Tanaka. Rotten caves his head in with a chair to cut out the language lesson. Big Dick low bridges Balls to the floor and 3D connects on Tanaka for two. That’s one of the only times, as in one maybe three times ever, that anyone ever kicked out of that move.

Bubba and D-Von argue over whose fault it is, earning them both chair shots to the head for two. Axl has handcuffed Big Dick to the post as a Nutcracker Suite and tornado DDT onto chairs get another double two count. D-Von piledrives Mahoney on a chair and Bubba powerbombs Tanaka onto one as well. It’s table time with both Dudleys loading one up but Van Dam and Sabu run out to drive the Dudleys through the wood. Mahoney and Tanaka come in for the pin to give us new champions.

Rating: D-. The only reason this isn’t a failure is how big of a surprise it was to see someone kick out of a 3D. This was so ridiculously overdone and taken beyond the suspension of disbelief that it stopped being fun at all. What was the point in saying Tanaka and Mahoney were so injured if they just absorb all those shots to the head? The match didn’t even wind up meaning anything as the Dudleys got the titles back five days later.

Here’s a rare singles match from Living Dangerously 1999.

Steve Corino, a young guy whose gimmick was that he was old school and wanted to do things the old fashioned way, talks about how he doesn’t need steroids and doesn’t need to wrestle around the world to hone his craft. He issues an open challenge and the fans want Sid. They get someone else instead.

Steve Corino vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney starts fast but misses a spinwheel kick and falls to the floor. Corino celebrates and the fans chant BORING. Steve loads up a dive but opts not to do it. He tries a few seconds later but gets caught in the air. Axl Rotten gets in a clothesline and Balls hits a frog splash for two back inside. Corino avoids another splash and hits a superkick before going for a chair. He teases nailing Mahoney but instead sits down for a chinlock. Joey: “BOO!” Mahoney won’t have that and superkicks Steve down before leveling him with the chair for an easy pin.

Rating: D. Not much to this but the anti-hardcore gimmick is one that is always going to work in ECW. Corino would get a lot better (and WAY more violent) in the coming months but this was a good national debut for the character. Mahoney is a perfect opposite for him as well, so this was actually time well spent.

When all else fails, give Spike Dudley a random partner and have him fight the Dudleys. From Heat Wave 1999.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney

Something tells me this is going to take awhile to start. Bubba talks about how these are the only belts that mean anything. That explains them jumping in less than 5 months. Gertner is still selling the injuries from the missed fireball. Joey says he looks like the Invisible Man. Joey, you fail. This is a fairly infamous promo as Bubba more or less has the crowd on the verge of rioting with how much heat they have on them.

This is where he says there’s a *insert gay slur here* in the front row and a mother who taught her daughter to suck. The Dudleys say that if the fans won’t come to them, the Dudleys will come to the fans. This is intense stuff if nothing else as a woman spits on Bubba. Now it’s time for Gertner to talk. He makes sex jokes based on the names of movies in theaters at the time to really date the show.

They’ve been talking for ten minutes now. Ok, we get it already. FINALLY Balls’ music kicks on. And now Balls talks. He says it’s a street fight with falls count anywhere. Wow I’m stunned. Naturally it’s a huge mess.

Seriously did you expect anything else? We get the cheese grater and I already hate this match. Seriously, what does this have to do with tag team wrestling? You never see more than two people on screen at once. D-Von and Spike are in the crowd doing whatever. Since there’s no referee with them, it’s rather pointless to follow them isn’t it? It’s just a big brawl with blood and random strikes. Spike dives off the balcony. Yeah I don’t care either.

Now I’m stunned as all four guys are in the ring at once. Holy goodness. The fans chant for flaming tables. Being put through one of those sounds pretty good right now. D-Von just goes off on Mahoney in the corner with punches. Ok that was kind of cool. The faces hit their finishers at the same time and of course the Dudleys kick out. And it worked so well the first time that we should just do that all over again!

So of course the four finishers don’t do it so they win with a schoolboy. Wow that’s riveting. The Dudleys do the beatdown afterwards and the table is lit up. Make that two tables. What a waste of fake wood. The powerbomb on Balls is botched. Yeah there’s nothing unsafe about that. Spike goes through. And since this was an idiotic match, here’s New Jack to really cram it home. As I’ve said, he is the epitome of everything wrong with ECW. This celebrating goes on forever as we kill more time.

Rating: F. The camera work sucked, there was zero wrestling, the ending was idiotic, it’s the same match as last month and the same feud for four months and New Jack was involved afterwards. What do you think I’m going to give this? It’s another sign that Heyman’s creativity was falling apart.

Tanaka and Mahoney were on again off again partners. Here they are off again, at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

The Balls song sounds a bit different. I think it’s a cover. Ah yes it is. I know this because it plays for about three and a half minutes with Balls just playing to the crowd. This is a long running rivalry that never really went anywhere for no apparent reason. Also, Tanaka can give Awesome every bit he can handle, but has trouble with Balls Mahoney?

Does that just not make sense for anyone else? Cyrus comes out and says the Network is taking over, despite not being on the network for this show. Ah he’s mad about Gertner being there on commentary. Yeah this isn’t bringing the show to a halt at all. Cyrus says Gertner’s fat body is a ratings killer. Strange I thought that was the booking, the look of the show, the wrestling, the language, the stories and the lack of new talent being pushed other than the same old guys.

Joel threatens Cyrus and W*ING Kanemura chokes him out from behind. Masato and Balls are just standing in the ring during all this and Cyrus takes over on commentary. Now they get the big intros, which to be fair was a tradition in ECW. Tanaka’s tights look like Too Much’s when they were heels (Too Cool later on). Mahoney actually does amateur stuff of all things and it works. This has been ALL Mahoney so far which is just weird.

Dang Balls is horrible at selling anything. Tanaka hits his running chair shot and the tornado DDT on the ramp. I guess Doug Williams stole it from Tanaka. Balls finds a chair and the fans pop. They both have them and let the duel begin. Tanaka continues his weird thing of no selling chairs. How does that even work? The crowd is white hot here, so at least it’s typical for ECW.

There are like 5 chairs in the ring now. Balls takes a tornado DDT onto the pile of them for two. The lack of pins after these ridiculous moves gets a bit tiring at times. Sweet goodness I love Diamond Dust. Balls hits the Nutcracker Sweet on Tanaka as we’re approaching the Awesome/Tanaka levels of insanity. Roaring Elbow (which sounds like a reject from World of Warcraft) gets two. A top rope chair shot and roaring elbow ends it though.

Rating: B-. Better than I expected, but it got completely ridiculous at the end. Tanaka is a different kind of character though as he goes to such ridiculous lengths of kicking out at times but it still works fine I think as it’s supposed to be over the top, which this certainly was.

Eh why not. Flaming tables from November to Remember 2000.

Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy vs. Da Baldies

This is a flaming tables match. It’s a tables match but the table has to be on fire for it to count. Yeah that’s not overkill at all. Honestly, who thought Chilly Willy was a good name? It sounds like a name for a frozen drink that a 4 year old would drink. There’s a table in the ring already so we head to the floor. We hear the whole Balls used to be a big deal in high school wrestling. Is he the Al Bundy of wrestling or something?

We’re in the crowd and you can’t see a thing just to make it really feel like ECW all over again. They’re in a balcony as we continue to wait for something to happen. Lots of beers are being slammed onto people’s heads. It’s one of those brawls where each punch gets a cheer but they come every minute or so. They brawl in the aisle to fill in some time.

Willy gets powerbombed through two chairs on the floor. FREAKING OW MAN. Hey we’re actually in the ring now. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. The lighters finally get brought into play with bottle after bottle of fluid. DeVito goes through the table and it’s finally over.

Rating: F+. This was TWELVE MINUTES LONG. Yes, this, is the longest match of the night so far. It’s the freakshow match of the night I guess but that doesn’t mean it was any good. Da Baldies go from being what was supposed to be a semi-big heel stable to jobbing to Chilly Willy. That’s ECW for you.

Since ECW had stuff like flaming tables, their last pay per view was coming soon. Balls competed at Guilty As Charged 2001.

Simon Diamond/Swinger vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy

What kind of a name is Swinger? In WCW he was Johnny Swinger and here he’s just Swinger. That never made sense. Swinger talks about not getting any from Dawn Marie while Simon has, so he’s gone out and gotten Jasmine St. Clair. She and Blue Boy come out and apparently Blue Boy is his new manager. Oh look: another pointless midcard faction. After about a minute of brawling, Rhyno comes in and gores everyone including the women. Well there’s five minutes filled. Jasmine takes a piledriver off the middle rope.

Mahoney would hit the indies like many people who worked for ECW. Here he is in a short term run in TNA, from Weekly PPV #78 on January 21, 2004.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Sandman/Balls Mahoney

Mahoney is the latest partner that Sandman has brought in to fight the Gathering. Sandman gets beaten down to start but Mahoney makes the save with a bunch of punches. It’s time to drink but Punk and Dinero nail superkick to knock the beer out of their mouth. Sandman nails a hurricanrana on Punk and Mahoney follows it up with a frog splash. Dinero superkicks both guys down but Sandman drapes him over the top rope. Punk and Mahoney fight to the floor before bringing a chair back in. Both members of the Gathering drive the chair into Balls’ face before a side slam/middle rope elbow combo onto the chair pins Mahoney.

Rating: D. Total mess that felt like a bad ECW match. To be fair though Punk was still just your usual indy guy at this point, meaning it was a lot of strikes and not a ton of selling. The match wasn’t any good, but what are you expecting from a team of Balls Mahoney and the Sandman?

Mahoney would appear at One Night Stand 2006 against an old friend/rival.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

With ECW being brought back as a full time show, Mahoney had a match on June 19, 2006’s Raw.

John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney

They slug it out to start with Cena getting two off a fisherman’s suplex. The fans are all over Cena here and Mahoney pokes him in the eye to take over. A hard superkick gets two on Cena but John comes back with right hands and the ending sequence. Heyman sends in a chair but Cena grabs a drop toehold and puts on the STF for the submission.

Here’s a match from the revised ECW on August 7, 2007.

The Miz vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Expose is at ringside for no apparent reason. Miz gets punched in the face to start but is able to send Mahoney face first into the middle buckle. Mahoney comes back with punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two but the Reality Check gets Miz a fast pin.

We’ll wrap it up with the mess that was Hardcore Justice 2010.

Cajones/Axl Rotten vs. ???/???

Cajones is of course Balls Mahoney. He issues an open challenge and it’s JOEL GERTNER. Ok this is at least an improvement. I think I smell Team 3D. Yep I’m right and they’re in tye-dye. Thankfully Joel does a poem which is funny. He looks…bad. Like even worse than before. It’s a South Philadelphia Street Fight in Orlando according to Ray.

They go split screen here for the sake of torturing us even better. Ray shouts at him and calls him Balls because that’s ok I guess. We go into the crowd for fun. This is “hardcore” I guess with mainly just punching and random shots with weak weapons. We bring in some more traditional weapons back in the ring. The announcers are of course cracking up over everything here instead of selling it like a hardcore match.

Frying pan to the head of Balls. And Mahoney breaks out a freaking toy lightsaber. And so does Bubba. I hate this show. I truly do. Axl botches a reverse DDT on Bubba and Nutcracker Suite to D-Von gets two. The fans want flaming tables. They get a chair duel instead. The referee tries a double clothesline on the team that isn’t the Dudleys. It fails, much like this match. The Dudleys bring in a table and Gertner has lighter fluid. Balls goes through it, ending this mess.

Rating: D-. Flaming table is all that keeps this from failing. This whole show is a joke and that’s being kind.

There isn’t much to say about Balls Mahoney, but he wasn’t as bad as people remember him being. Yeah he was part of a team called the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks, but he had a decent career outside of ECW as well. There are far worse guys out there (like Axl Rotten for example) but he’s not terrible.

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