Bound For Glory 2011
Date: October 16, 2011
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the major show of the year for TNA and I can’t say I’m as excited about it as I was for last year’s. It should be good though as we have two major main events. Now that’s part of the problem: one of them is Sting vs. Hogan. They couldn’t have a good match 14 years ago so what are you expecting from them here? Other than that the rest of the show looks pretty solid. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about exactly what you would expect: a highlight package with everything leading up to the double main event.

The dark match was the tag title match with Mexican America retaining. Well at least the title didn’t change hands on a dark match. To be fair it was streamed free on the website so anyone could see it.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

I’m not sure if I’d have gone with a rematch for Kendrick so soon after Aries too the title from him. They have the garage door style lifting wall for the guys to come through. The fans are way behind Aries here. The crowd looks good here. They fight over a wristlock to start as we get a good feel for the crowd here with the loud Austin Aries chant. Tazz talks about how this crowd isn’t like most and that’s an understatement.

Things speed up a bit as they hit the mat. Aries goes to the floor so Kendrick is like PORKCHOP and dives onto him in a huge spot. Back in Kendrick gets caught in an STO and Aries loads up the Pendulum Elbow which blows the roof off the place. Kendrick counters and hammers away but the fans are all over Brian since this is the ultimate smark town. This could become a problem tonight.

They try what looks to be a rollup but Kendrick falls to the floor. Aries hits a HUGE suicide dive to fire the crowd up even more if that’s possible. Back in Aries tries the brainbuster but Kendrick knees his way out of it. They go up on the ropes but Aries talks to the crowd too much and gets caught in a top rope Sliced Bread for two as Aries grabs the ropes. They head to the apron and Kendrick tries it out there again but gets dropped onto the apron and then the floor. That and the brainbuster in the ring gives Aries the clean pin at 10:27.

Rating: B-. Can’t complain much here band this was what I was expecting for the opener. You can’t ask for much more than a cruiserweight match to start things off, but I’m hoping the show stays hot throughout the rest of the match. The right idea is to have things like this for later on in the show when you need to fire the crowd back up, but in Philly I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Keep that in mind: all rules about crowds are thrown out the window tonight.

The Knockouts are with some kids in the back and Karen comes in and she’s not happy. Oh ok they’re Kurt’s kids. The kids leave and Karen freaks out as always. Karen is refereeing the Knockouts match tonight. That means Madison wins tonight. Traci has to stay in the ring unless Karen is in danger.

We recap RVD vs. Lynn which is over Jerry being jealous or something. It’s Full Metal Mayhem which means TLC with pins. Can’t argue with putting this match on in Philly.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

They hug afterwards, meaning I guess it’s cool to cost Van Dam a title shot. I guess he doesn’t seem to mind or whatever.

We recap the triple threat which is all about getting the world title shot or something. It’s the first I’ve heard of that but they’re talking about it which is the right idea. Joe went crazy and hurt Crimson once Joe was mathematically eliminated from the BFG Series so Morgan went after him for being a bully. Hence the triple threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

New music for Crimson. I’m not digging it. Joe tries to get both guys to fight each other but they beat him up instead. Joe is wearing red and blue tights while the others are both in white. Morgan’s continue to be way too small for him. Crimson hits the floor against his wishes and Joe takes down Morgan with ease. Crimson tries to steal a pin off a Morgan side slam but just gets one.

The non-Samoans are sent to the floor so Joe tries a huge suicide elbow. Morgan steps to the side so Crimson takes all of it. As Crimson gets up and brawls with Joe, Morgan goes up and dives onto Crimson from the top. Not a good few seconds for the red one there. Back in Crimson suplexes Joe and Morgan tries to steal the pin. We’re into the triple threat formula here and that’s all fine and good.

The non-Samoans slug it out and Morgan takes him down, only for Joe to trip him up and pull him to the floor. Crimson’s leg injury is fine by the way, despite him having it on Impact. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Crimson but Morgan comes in to break it up. I’ve never gotten that. Why wouldn’t he let Joe take Crimson out? Anyway Crimson sends Morgan to the floor and Crimson hits the spear on Joe for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. Not much here and this was something you could have seen on any Impact. To be fair though, there was no real heat on this match as it was all about pride or whatever. I mean, we have to have the TV Champion fighting Scott Baio in his underwear so we can’t have the TV out there. It’s TNA though so titles mean less and less all the time other than the world title. This was probably going to be the weakest match on the card and it was certainly watchable.

Ray says he needs no introduction and talks about himself anyway. He buries Philadelphia, talking about how he’s never liked it here and he’s used the idiot fans for years to get where he is. This was really needed because Ray would have been the crowd favorite otherwise.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson charges the ring and we start fast. Remember that this is a falls count anywhere match. Anderson tries to control early but Ray kicks his head off and puts Anderson down. Is there a reason why Anderson wears his shirt in his matches anymore? Ray chops him haRD in the corner (not good enough for all caps but decent) as Anderson’s hair is uh….weird. Anderson goes to the floor and takes a sign which has to be loaded. Yep there’s a metal sign in there and Ray goes down in a heap. Dead end sign and it goes over Ray’s head again.

They fight on the floor and a fan throws a beer on Ray. Anderson gets two on the floor and they go up the ramp. Anderson is infinately more entertaining when you let him stop wrestling. Ray reverses a suplex on the stage for two. Ray grabs the mic and talks about New York but Anderson beats him down and says this is Philadelphia. They head into the back and Ray hits a piledriver onto the concrete for two. Anderson gets choked with a red chair.

Back into the arena and they’re near the Spanish announce area. That has to be a copyrighted brawling area. Anderson takes part of the railing away and slides it into the ring but Ray beats him down and sets up a table. There’s another set up on the floor as well. Ray gets backdropped onto the railing and it’s bent.

Anderson goes up and misses the swanton onto the railing, allowing Ray to hit the Bubba Bomb (why is it not the Bully Bomb?) for two. I thought that was the ending. Anderson gets in a trashcan shot and loads Ray up onto the table on the floor. He goes up and channels his inner Jeff Hardy. There’s the huge Swanton BUT THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK! FREAKING OW MAN!!! A Mic Check onto the table finally ends this at 14:28.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was fun to watch. It wasn’t technically good or anything but if you’re expecting it to be you’re totally missing the point. This was a fun weapons match, although I kind of question having two of them on the same show like they did with Lynn and Van Dam. Decent match here and rather entertaining.

Bischoff is talking to a referee and says it’s a big night. It’s implied that the referee is in Immortal’s pocket. Eric says Hogan has to win and Sting has to be taken out for good. It’s revealed that Jackson James, the referee, is the son of Bischoff. This is treated as a shock by the announcers.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Karen is referee and Winter is champion. The crowd is WAY into Velvet. Winter is in a coat of some kind and Angelina is in a pink corset. Karen looks good in her referee stuff and Madison gives her the tiara. They have to tag here and it’s Winter vs. Mickie to start. Winter controls early but Mickie snaps off the slick rana in the corner and a neckbreaker puts Winter on the floor.

Madison comes in sans tag and tries to slap Mickie or throw something in her face but it doesn’t work. They’re playing up the Karen factor a lot here as the fix is in or something like that. Mickie goes to the floor and Velvet comes in. I guess it’s lucha tag rules. Velvet hits a bulldog but Karen ties her shoes instead of counting. Velvet and Mickie have to fight but shake hands first.

Both get rollups but Karen won’t count for either of them. The fans are all over this in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit with no real purpose because Karen isn’t going to count. Winter and Madison pull them to the floor and that’s a tag in a way I guess. Madison is in there finally and make that all four are in now. The good girls take over and the fans aren’t going to stick with this much longer.

Mickie vs. Winter at the moment but Mickie won’t cover because there’s no point to it. She beats Winter down but argues with Karen, allowing Angelina to give Winter blood. It gets loaded up but Mickie ducks, sending the blood into Karen’s eyes. I typed that before it happened. There’s the jumping DDT and here’s Traci. Things totally break down and Velvet hits the double underhook X Factor to win the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. They wanted Velvet winning to be a huge moment and it just wasn’t. There was so much going on here and most of it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before so this wasn’t much to see. Winter’s second reign was about as worthless as her first but at least there’s the title reign for Velvet which has taken forever to get to. Not the big moment they were looking for though.

Kaz doesn’t know who to cheer for in the I Quit match but he hopes Daniels sees the light after it’s over.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles #4895 which is about Daniels being way too excited about beating him on a fluke and turning heel on him, setting up an I Quit match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

It sounds like new music for both guys. AJ has another new remix. This is I Quit. There’s also no pyro for anyone tonight so far. The guys have the mic here and it’s a brawl to start. Daniels is asking if it’s over about 30 seconds in with a choke on AJ. AJ hooks a bridging Indian Deathlock and Daniels says no. We’re in that place in the match where they’re trying for fast submissions but no one believes it’s happening yet.

AJ hits his leapfrog/drop/dropkick spot and we head to the floor. AJ hits a flip dive and both guys are down. They find a tool box and Daniels tries to stab AJ with a screwdriver. The maiming attempt fails and they fight to the apron where they botch some kind of a suplex move. The screwdriver is stuck in the buckle. AJ has pink on his tights for breast cancer awareness month. Nothing wrong with that.

AJ still won’t quit so Daniels busts out the BME to AJ while he’s on his knees, making it more like Shadows Over Hell (Delirious move). Off to a half crab and of course AJ doesn’t quit. A spin kick is blocked and Daniels gets a backbreaker. There’s no eyeliner on Daniels either which is a weird look. He’s in tights instead of shorts too. It’s chair time and Chris sits down on it with the bar over AJ’s throat. Styles is bleeding over the top of the head, right around his hairline.

Daniels says everything AJ has in TNA will belong to him and he never wanted to hear AJ say I qu….”oh no I’m not saying it.” The fans chant for him to shut up and Daniels lets up for some reason. He looks into the camera and talks to Wendy (AJ’s wife) and says take the kids out of the room because they shouldn’t see their father murdered. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

AJ gets fired up and hits the backflip reverse DDT. Styles Clash fails and Daniels misses the BME. He shouts DIE AJ but runs into the Pele and the Clash. So….how does this make Daniels say he quits? AJ picks up the chair but grabs the screwdriver instead. And Daniels quits to avoid the pain ala JBL vs. Cena in 05. He quit at 13:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of these matches because the ending is either the heel giving up after being hurt for a few seconds or giving up before something big happening. I wasn’t into this and the fans weren’t really either. I think they were going for a big ending and emotional moment but it never got to the level they were hoping for.

As AJ is leaving, Daniels jumps him and plants him with Angel’s Wings on the ramp, meaning this is going to continue.

We recap the final two matches on the card but here’s Jeff Jarrett.

He yells about Jeff Hardy and says no one here wants anything to do with Hardy. The fans chant for Hardy as Jarrett buries the city. He calls out Hardy and here he is with new music. They brawl with Hardy only saying a few words and it’s a brawl. This isn’t a match. Security comes out to break it up but Hardy gets free for a bit as happens in most brawls. That happens with both guys more than once. The agents come in and we get a D’lo chant. Hardy is left in the ring and poses to his music.

We recap Hogan vs. Sting. I’m shocked this isn’t the main event. The recap covers like a year and a half which is all about Hogan stealing the company from Dixie and Sting trying to get the control back for Dixie because it’s her’s.

Now the announcers talk about the match and how big it is.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

This is a “fight” remember, so Hogan is in an Impact Wrestling shirt and black tights. Dixie Carter is in the audience. If Hogan loses, Sting and Dixie get control of the company. Sting is in his Hogan shirt again. Jackson James, Bischoff’s son, is the referee. Before anything of note happens, Hogan waves out someone and it’s Flair. Dixie isn’t happy. And they lock up. We get a headlock in this “fight”.

Hogan Hulks Up and there goes the bandana. Sting throws off the Hogan shirt too. The fans sound into it so points for that. Hogan puts on a neck crank and we look at Dixie again. It’s in a rest hold so no complaints there. Hogan keeps crotch chopping. All Hogan so far with him sending Sting to the floor so Flair can pound away a bit with chops and a low blow.

All Hulk still as he hammers away on Sting on the floor. There’s some kind of object given to Hogan by Flair and Hulk pounds away with it. Sting is busted and Hogan struts and WOOs. Sting fires back and Hogan is in trouble. He keeps going to the floor to chase Flair and this time gets the object from him. Flair tries to warn Hulk but he can’t get away in time. Hulk is busted.

There’s the splash and down goes Flair. Hogan takes another splash and Hogan is down in the middle of the ring. Here’s the Scorpion and Sting gets it on full. He sits down on it and Hogan taps out right in front of the referee…..and he rings the bell for the submission at 9:49. The fans are not happy….like at all.

Rating: D+. The ending hurt it a lot but the fans were WAY into this. Tis is a fine example of a match where the match wasn’t the important part. However, there was nothing important to see here and the ending didn’t work at all for the most part. Keeping it short was good but Eric’s son wound up meaning almost nothing at all.

Immortal runs out for the beatdown with the chairs and Abyss is watching from behind the stage. Eric sets for a chair shot but his son takes the chair away. Down goes the son and Hulk is getting up. For no apparent reason Hulk turns face and beats up Immortal. Hogan and Sting clean house and Flair takes the brunt of the beating. Bischoff is cowering in the corner.

Hogan and Sting go back to back and stare each other down. They don’t shake hands but Hogan beats up Bischoff. This makes absolutely NO SENSE but the fans are more into it than anything ever in TNA. Hogan says he’s back and kicks Bischoff out of the ring. Hogan and Sting stare it down again and Sting wants Hogan to pose. They play to the crowd and that’s about it.

We recap Roode vs. Angle and I think you know the drill here.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

It’s 10:36 when the bell rings so they have about 20 minutes or so, barring them going right up to the hour. They head to the floor for a few seconds and Angle kicks him low on the way back in. Angle is coming in with a legit hamstring injury. They go to the mat and Angle works on a gutwrench. The fans are all behidn Roode. The American hits a German on the Canadian and make it three of them, getting a two count.

Kurt sets for the moonsault but Roode suplexes him off and Kurt lands on his head. The fans went SILENT after that. Kurt seems to be ok as they slug it out. Roode hits a forearm and some clotheslines to take over. Blockbuster hits for what looked to be three but they’ll call it two. Belly to belly gets two for the champ as does a DDT. Angle Slam is countered into the spinebuster (no pop at all for it) for two.

Angle does the run up the rope suplex for two. They’re really just using signature stuff here instead of a longer match. Roode grabs the Crossface out of nowhere and Kurt can’t reach a rope. Angle teases tapping but he grabs the ankle to escape the hold. Now Roode is in the submission and teases tapping but reverses right back into the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle reverses again and is put in the hold on the other arm this time. Kurt rolls through into the Slam for two.

Back to the ankle but Roode kicks him off and hits the spinebuster to still not much of a reaction. The crowd just does not care after the Hogan vs. Sting stuff. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The dueling chants start up and Kurt hooks the ankle again. Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag as the fans are starting to get into this a bit. Angle gets the referee in between them and kicks Roode low. There’s another Slam and it only gets two again.

Time for more rolling Germans but Roode reverses into the Crossface again, this time on the left arm which is the one that I think it’s been on more often than the right one. Roode’s face is really bad when he’s got these holds on. Kurt’s arm is under the ropes so the hold is broken. Spear gets two for Angle. I’m so over the move I can’t stand it anymore. Angle goes up for something but jumps into the Crossface. Kurt escapes and tries the Slam but Roode tries the Fisherman’s into another Slam and Kurt grabs the rope….for the pin at 14:20. Oh….oh no they can’t be doing this. Roode’s arm was under the ropes too.

Rating: C. The ending cripples this. It wasn’t a classic before that but the ending hurt it more than I can comprehend. The match was so based on having finishers escaped and kicked out of and all that stuff which was the vast majority of the match. Not horrible but man, that ending is actually standing and it’s over. That CRIPPLED things.

Overall Rating: B+. The ending to this show brings it way down. I mean WAY down. There isn’t a truly bad match on the whole card but there isn’t a classic either. Still, it’s a very good show and worth checking out, but the ending to the main event hurt this like nothing else. There was zero point to having Angle go over there and he was helped out by the trainer post match so maybe he was legit hurt. I’m in awe over that ending. The rest of the show was solid though and Hogan’s illogical heel turn is fun stuff. Worth seeing, but prepared to roll your eyes at the main event.

Results
Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Van Terminator
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Matt Morgan – Spear to Joe
Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check through a table
Velvet Sky b. Winter, Mickie James and Madison Rayne – Sitout facebuster to Rayne
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Daniels said he quit
Sting b. Hulk Hogan – Scorpion Deathlock
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle Slam

http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/TNA/article10021150.shtml

 

Thoughts on this?

I’d think it’s a good thing.  If nothing else it’ll cut down on the ridiculous number of turns.  Also less crazy match types and stupid stories that are way too complex and thought out for wrestling shows.  It’s not Shakespeare you know.

It’s been about six months since this show and I thought it would be interesting to look back and see how things have gone since then.

Impact
Date: October 14, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: THEY Have Arrived!!!

Well this is it. After four days of waiting we can finally get to the explanation from Jeff as to WHY he did what he did. This is something that is very important because you have the entire THEY angle riding on it. The importance of this show can’t be overblown as we begin the next chapter in TNA’s history.

The opening is likely to be about Jeff and THEY as well as set up the fairly obvious RVD vs. Jeff match, although I could see them postponing that one if need be. I’d also be interested in knowing how much actual wrestling we’ll have tonight but we’ll see. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with the recap of the ending of Bound For Glory.

Dixie’s attorney is here and as everyone thought we’re told that Dixie signed the contracts but they weren’t the ones she thought they were.

Hogan (still on crutches) and Bischoff are here to a MASSIVE pyro display. Of course Hogan is acting just like he did as a face. Tenay explains that Hogan and Bischoff now have the majority share of TNA….despite the fact that the attorney never said that.

Naturally Hogan gets a big face reaction with like two signs against him in the whole audience. Oh wait three fat chicks are booing. Well there’s a Hogan sucks chant so there’s something I suppose. Hogan wants Dixie here now. Apparently she promised him everything, much like Ted Turner did in 96. Hogan gets a text or something as he has his phone out and is messing with it.

Here we go: the explanation. It started with Abyss apparently and the Hall of Fame ring. Bischoff and Hogan knew why he randomly turned on Hogan. We bring him out and Hogan declares Abyss his son. THEY’RE HERE! Ok now that my pizzas are here we can get back. What did you think I meant by they?

None of the fans believed Abyss but they are now in control. The fans want RVD. Abyss follows them as Hogan and Bischoff’s soldier now. Hogan declares that Abyss with live forever and is now immortal. I think The Immortals might be the name. Eric brings out Jarrett. Wait was there an actual explanation in there for abyss? If there was I missed it.

Yeah this was no real surprise: he wanted control of his company back. I think that was the easiest of all to understand. And here’s FOURTUNE! Ok this just got good.

Flair talks to Hogan and says that Fourtune runs this company, not Hogan. LOUD Fourtune chant. One of them have to leave apparently. Hogan suggest him vs. Flair and it’s…..not on as they hug. Flair bows down to Hogan and it’s a massive Hogan orgy more or less. The explanation here makes sense though as Fourtune was mad at Dixie for bringing in EV. That actually makes sense. We get a reference to Flair’s five former ex wives and here comes Jeff!

No face paint here either. The fans think Jeff sold out. You can barely see the ropes with so many guys in there with him. He didn’t sell out but sold in. He blames the fans and doesn’t care about popularity. The fans drove him to this because he did everything with all those injuries for what?

And now it’s on to RVD. He’s the whole F’N reason Abyss took RVD out because RVD had to be gone for this to work. They are Immortal. Sting and Nash are watching in the back. Eric and Hogan offer them spots on the team. We go to a break 22 minutes into the show with them coming to the ring.

Security escorts Dixie….somewhere.

Nash and Sting come out and Sting is in street clothes which isn’t something you see that often. Tenay is already annoying. Eric says this is about money and all that jazz. Nash whispers to Sting and says this is perfect for him because it’s always been about money and him in his career. He’s gotten wiser though and quotes the Bible of all things, saying gray hair is a sign of wisdom. He’s passing on the money and if THEY want to run the company into the ground, they can do it without him. I’m surprised.

Sting says this isn’t what he came here for and says he’s here because he loves TNA. He’s shouting the whole time mind you. Sting points to Hogan, Bischoff and Flair (I think) and says this is a no win situation, turning them down. Allegedly both of these guys are leaving TNA with Nash being permanent and Sting possibly being permanent. Bischoff says they can come back anytime. Hogan’s music plays the segment to an end at 9:32.

We cut to the back where Sting and Nash leave but Pope isn’t happy with it. They offer him a place in the car out with them but he’s staying to fight the fight which they’re cool with. Dixie comes up to them and says they can’t leave her. Sting says what everyone thought: if she had listened this wouldn’t be happening. She says he was cryptic. Dixie, he sent crows down at the NWO to demand a title match one night. He’s a weird guy.

Hogan and Bischoff come up to Dixie and she slaps the heck out of Bischoff. She tells Hogan to look her in the eye and tell her he didn’t screw her. He says we’ll talk about this in HIS office as we go to another break.

In the office we have MORE talking. Bischoff smokes a cigar and Hogan flat out tells her that he screwed her out of the company. This is a big Hogan ego trip of course. Hogan and Bischoff both say this is their company. Hogan has had enough and so has Dixie. She tells her security guards to get rid of them but they work for Hogan too. Dixie’s husband SURGE gets knocked out and we take ANOTHER break.

Some hot chick in a BMW shows up. And we’re just not going to talk about this at all. Ok then. Ah ok it’s the Jersey Short chick.

Madison comes out with a referee as I’m guessing this is going to be about Tara. She yells about how Tara has HER title. She wants a match RIGHT NOW. Here’s Tara, looking GOOD. Madison says they had a deal and apparently we’re getting a match….at 9:50pm.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Madison Rayne

And Tara lays down so Madison can pin her. I kid you not.

Madison celebrates and here’s Mickie to talk some more. She wants a title shot RIGHT NOW but Madison sends Tara after her. Mickie sends her running and stares her down.

J-Woww from Jersey Shore comes in and talks to the Beautiful People. Apparently she’s an honorary BP tonight.

Back from break and they’re still looking for Cookie. This results in Eric Young freaking out about J-Woww. Jordan comes up and nothing of note happens.

And here’s Angle for MORE talking. No music, no intro, nothing like that. He talks about how he’s all banged up but wants to know why Hogan and Bischoff screwed him before he officially retires. Angle says what we all expected him to say: he didn’t win but he didn’t get pinned either. Cue Jarrett’s music and here he is.

Jarrett more or less calls bull on what Angle is saying. He takes a jab at Angle being an ex-husband (the real meaning being that Jarrett literally married Angle’s wife and not in kayfabe). Angle says he put TNA on the map. Uh, not quite Kurt. He says Jarrett held down everyone but couldn’t hold Angle down.

Kurt Angle, the man that held the tag titles, X-Division and World titles at the same time is talking about holding others down. Jarrett says taking Angle’s career meant more than destroying his life. Angle goes for him and the security guards take him down and handcuff him. The beatdown is on. Uh, Joe anyone?

TAZ of all people comes out of the broadcast booth and calls off Jarrett and says that he has a censored up (censored of course) neck. Old school Taz chant takes us to another break.

70 minutes in, 6 seconds of “wrestling.”

Joe talks (shocking isn’t it) about Jarrett on a tape from Monday, still in Daytona. He’s coming for Jarrett of course.

GOOD NIGHT  IT’S A MATCH! And it’s Abyss. Oh joy.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Yeah they’re officially called Immortal. Well ok then. Joe beats the heck out of him first and beats him into the corner. Chokeslam takes him down and Joe is in trouble. He goes to get a chair but Joe hits a suicide dive into the chair which more or less didn’t hit Abyss’s head at all but he stays down anyway. Sure why not? Bell to the head and we’re done in two minutes. No rating. RVD comes down for the save.

Wait, why didn’t Joe come down and massacre Jeff like 5 minutes ago?

Hey look RVD wants to talk. It’s about Hardy which makes sense. Jeff pops up on the screen and says it was an illusion as he brought RVD as close to him as he could and then destroyed him. Well ok so he told Abyss to destroy him. Hardy says he’s the Anti-Christ of wrestling. WOW.

Bischoff comes out and says if RVD wants Hardy at Turning Point he has to beat Anderson tonight, winner gets the shot.

Back from a break Tessmacher is propositioned by Bischoff for “a meeting later at his place”. He snaps on her and calls her easy. Bischoff knows about Nash and Pope apparently. She’s fired from the Knockouts authority job and can either wrestle or leave. Anderson comes up and declares Bischoff a douchebag and squeezes his hand really hard saying that Bischoff won’t win this war.

D’Angeol Dinero vs. Fourtune

Yep it’s 1 vs. 5 here. Morgan and Flair aren’t in this. Total dominance here of course but it’s better than more talking I suppose. AJ misses the Pele and kicks Kaz which Pope gets two off of. DWI hits him and Kaz gets the pin. Another short match so no grade.

Ad for Turning Point where Angle is named specifically as being there. Nice one guys.

Here’s The Shore to get on my nerves and be booed out of the building. They point out that this is on at the same time as Jersey Shore because that’s how TNA works. Cue up the Beautiful People and J-Woww. Cookie and J-Woww argue as usual and Cookie says go back to the hole you came from. You know, the same one she’s from. Catfight, Shore bails. 15k for a minute long segment and an EY joke.

We recap things to kill time so we can run over into ReAction as always.

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

No mic time for Anderson here as he’s mad. The bell rings at about 11pm as we just HAD to have a commercial as RVD made his entrance. Make that 11:01. Naturally to see the main event of Impact you have to watch ReAction. So would that mean the winner got the win on Impact or ReAction? Winner gets Hardy at the PPV mind you.

Basic stuff to start as Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron to kick Anderson in the head, which might have been how he injured his head and Impact is OVER! And now REACTION has started and we didn’t miss a thing and it serves no purpose but screw that who cares? If you want to see the Impact main event, don’t watch Impact!

After I have a psychotic episode over the stupidity of some of the things this company does, it’s still a boring match. Rolling Thunder is countered into a fireman’s carry and the split legged moonsault gets two. Five Star eats knees and both guys are down. And here’s Bischoff to screw us over. He tells the referee to come with him and here’s Hardy, holding his ribs with a chair.

Chair to RVD. Chair to Anderson. Pillmanizer on the arm of Anderson. Anderson curses a lot and rolls to the floor. That’s your ending by the way.

Rating: D+. Match was pretty weak due to the crowd knowing the ridiculous ending was coming. This match never really got off the ground or anything but it could have been worse. The guys knew the ending was coming and clearly didn’t get going until the very end as they were just going through the motions. Nothing bad really, but nothing particularly good.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a VERY subjective grade to put it mildly. This show can be looked at their get out of jail free card. It was the first show after their biggest show ever and a huge angle. The show as a stand alone show was atrocious. However, this was a show where a lot of talking was actually required.

The explanations that they gave needed to be done. I can understand that and I’m mostly ok with it. However there comes a point where you need some wrestling to get you through a show. Having the show revolve around one angle is fine and makes sense, but you really need some wrestling to go with it. As was said in the LD, even a 4 minute throw away match would have helped tremendously. One or two of those thrown in somewhere and this show goes WAY up.

As for doing what needed to be done tonight, they got a lot out of the way. Jarrett, Dixie, Hogan and Bischoff are all explained. Nash and Sting are written off TV, Pope has a new thing to do, Anderson’s loyalty is pretty clear and RVD and Joe will fight on their own. Hardy was explained but to say it felt rushed is an understatement. Abyss wasn’t explained at all but did we really need to hear about him? All you really get from that is the beginning of the story and we can live without that.

This show did explain some things and kind of got things going for the angle, but at the same time this is showing signs of turning into one massive soap opera much like the NWO angle. The problem with that is back then you had some amazing matches on the side to compliment the drama. You’re not getting that in the first week.

That being said, it’s the first week and I can understand a ton of talking here. However if this is now the status quo, there are REAL problems for this company. This was kind of a disappointment but to say it was horrible isn’t fair. They got through a lot tonight, but what scares me are the weeks to come. There has to be some wrestling out there, and I’m not seeing it here so far. I’m neither thrilled nor optimistic, but I’m also not convinced this is bad. Definitely interested in next week’s offering, but I’ll be less lenient on it to say the least.