Brock Lesnar is back in WWE. Really you didn’t know that already? I would say that that line was a joke, but honestly I’m not sure if it would click or not. Lesnar’s return has been questionable to say the least with a lot of holes all throughout it. Today I’m going to take a look at Lesnar’s return and talk about what I would have done differently, what they’ve done right and wrong, and whatever else comes to my mind. Let’s get to it.

So back on April 2^nd as the Kentucky Wildcats were winning the national championship, John Cena was in the ring and the fans were chanting that they wanted Lesnar. Brock walked out and beat Cena down, returning for the company for the first time in eight years. It was announced that Lesnar had a limited amount of dates to work so he wouldn’t be there every week. Fine. So a week or so later there was a pull apart brawl with Cena being busted open from a punch by Lesnar. Cena was fired up and a match was announced. That got us to Extreme Rules. What happened there? Here’s the rating for the match:

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

In short, the match was a complete success. I’ll get to the criticisms of it later and explain why most of them are stupid. The following night on Raw, HHH showed up on Raw to face Lesnar. Lesnar had been having on air contract disputes with HHH and now we were getting the resolution. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and left the building. A few weeks later, Paul Heyman came out and said Lesnar had quit the company. A week later, a lawsuit was announced. Then at No Way Out, HHH challenged Lesnar to a match at Summerslam. It wasn’t until the 1000th episode of Raw when Lesnar came out and accepted the challenge. This would be roughly three months since the last time Lesnar had appeared on Raw. That brings us to now, with the match official for Summerslam.

Brock Lesnar returned to the WWE four months ago today and approximately three months of that has been wasted. I LOVED the portion of his time spent with Cena. The company did a masterful job of building up the idea of these two forces colliding and showing how much trouble John Cena could have been in. Now let’s take a look at the payoff to that build up.

It was in Chicago at Extreme Rules and Cena got ROCKED very fast. Lesnar ran him over and didn’t stop beating on him for almost fifteen minutes. The match was almost stopped but Cena hung in there, eventually making Lesnar miss a flying knee, hitting Brock in the head with a chain and hitting an Attitude Adjustment onto the steps for the pin. We’ll ignore the post match stuff about Cena saying he was taking a vacation because it really meant nothing overall.

The match was a huge success, drawing more buys than most Extreme Rules PPVs usually get. The criticism seems to be that Cena won. Why? Why is that such a big deal? Cena was DESTROYED for the majority of the fight then caught Lesnar in a miracle, hit a big move and won. This for some reason was determined to be the worst possible idea. Clearly these people are right because you can NEVER come back from a loss in wrestling right?

By comparison, let’s take a look at what happened in Lesnar’s UFC debut. He faced Frank Mir, a former world heavyweight champion with a career record of 10-3 coming in. Mir never lost the world title either, as he had to forfeit it due to injury after holding it over a year. This man had success in the sport of mixed martial arts and in the UFC in particular. Know what happened in their fight, which was Lesnar’s second professional fight ever? Lesnar ran Frank Mir over. He took Mir down almost immediately and pounded on him, only being taken off of him due to an illegal strike. Lesnar then took Mir down again but made a mistake and got caught in a submission after 90 seconds.

Now, since there’s no logic in having Lesnar lose in his first match back to Cena and since losses matter much more in MMA than they do in pro wrestling, it’s clear that Lesnar’s career in MMA was completely over and no one would ever want to pay to see him again right? If you can’t sense the sarcasm in my voice, I’ll spell it out for you: OF COURSE THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. Lesnar came back, beat up a guy named Heath Herring and then faced arguably the best fighter of all time for the World Heavyweight Championship. Brock dominated champion Randy Couture and won the title, which he held for nearly two years, all the while becoming one of the biggest draws in MMA history and destroying Mir in a rematch.

So now that the idiocy of saying that Cena beating Lesnar was a bad idea, let’s get to something that is a pretty bad idea: the feud with HHH. What’s the biggest problem with this you ask? My guess is that it’s a feud with HHH. Why is HHH of all people getting this feud? He wrestles 3-4 times a year, it’s pretty clear that Lesnar is gone after Mania, and we’ve spent three months of that time on HHH. HHH is barely a wrestler anymore so why does he need to feud with Brock?

In short, he doesn’t. There are probably half a dozen guys you could put out there against Brock to give a rub to/that would you get a better feud out of. It could be Brock vs. Punk, Sheamus, Cena again, Orton, Undertaker, Rock and probably more than I’m overlooking. Think about it like this: Lesnar was put with Cena because Cena needed a challenge (there’s another article on the concept that Cena had reached a level in WWE that they had to bring in The Rock and the former UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World to give him a real challenge. We’ll get to that someday). Lesnar is put with HHH because…….somebody help me out here.

It makes no sense. I don’t know what Lesnar is going to do at Summerslam but if there’s any logic in the world, the answer is WIN. Now let’s say that’s the case. The interesting question is where do we go from there? Here’s what I would do: first off you need to figure out the end goal of all of this, and by that I mean the Wrestlemania match. It’s pretty clear that Undertaker, Lesnar, Rock and Cena are going to be involved with each other at Mania in some two combinations. Any one of these is perfectly acceptable but you have different paths to get there.

To begin with, we’ll go with the least likely: Lesnar vs. Rock. There’s a backstory here of Summerslam 2002, but I can’t imagine Cena vs. Undertaker, the biggest super match WWE has left, is happening anywhere other than Wrestlemanie 30. It’s possible, but I’d be very surprised if it happened. The way to do this is have Rock win the title at the Rumble and then have Brock win the Rumble or the Chamber later in the night, but I can’t see that happening. It’s possible, but I don’t think it’s happening.

The most likely and the result I think will happen, is Brock vs. Taker. This has an interesting story to it as they could go more than one way. The less likely way is to point out that Taker has never beaten Brock, but that would mean talking about Biker Taker time which is rarely mentioned. The more likely choice is to have Brock challenging the Streak with the machine facing the MMA Cowboy of Death. That could be an excellent match with Taker always getting fired up to show off his MMA skills.

This brings us to the interesting story. It’s not going to be able to work due to the issue of Cena needing to be on PPV every month, but it gives me a chance to play fantasy booker which isn’t something I can do often. The way I would have played it (and this could still be done) is to have Lesnar injure Cena, maybe breaking his arm or a limb or something like that. Then you have Lesnar go on a path of rage and run over everyone on the roster, eventually facing Punk for the title, perhaps at the Rumble (this would be assuming Rock either doesn’t win the title at the Rumble or doesn’t get the Rumble shot). Lesnar leaves Punk a bloody mess and takes the title.

On Raw, Lesnar comes out and says he has no competition left and that he’s taking the title back to Minnesota with him and only defending it when he has to. As he’s about to leave, Cena comes to the stage and points at Lesnar, setting up Wrestlemania with Cena challenging for the title and Lesnar wanting to get his hands on Cena because he’s the one that got away. That sets up Cena vs. Lesnar II at Mania and Rock vs. Taker at Mania. Think that would draw pretty well? Another possible option, and a decent one, is to have Lesnar actually take the belt hostage and only defend it when he had to. But that couldn’t work because then you would only have the World Heavyweight Championship to main event a show and that could NEVER happen could it?

Either way, I can’t believe Lesnar isn’t victim #21 of the Streak. So now that we have the end game of it, we need something else to fill in the gap between Summerslam and Wrestlemania. This is where things are a bit less complicated. There are a ton of people that you could throw out there against him: Sheamus, Punk, or the guy I would throw out there: Orton. He’s still popular, a loss isn’t going to hurt him, and a win over him means something. There aren’t many wrong answers here, but I’d go with Orton on this one.

So anyway, overall Lesnar’s 2012 run hasn’t been a disaster, but as I look at the HHH vs. Lesnar build, the big question continues to be why HHH? He’s one of the last people I’d pick and while the match will likely be good, it really doesn’t need to happen.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2012
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the interesting show as we’re still at three hours, but now we don’t have the legends or the big stuff to fill in the card. We do however have the beginning of Punk’s heel reign and likely the announcement of his opponent (named John Cena) for Summerslam. This should be an interesting show but it’s hard to say where it’ll go. I do expect a rise in TOUTING IT OUT BABY! Let’s get to it.

We open with people still coming into the arena. Apparently there was a pyro issue before the show and a fire broke out. No one was injured but part of the Tron was on fire. No one was hurt which is the important thing.

We get a video from Raw 1000 which we’ve seen twice on WWE TV already. That’s ok though as we haven’t seen it on Raw yet and it’s a cool look back.

Here’s Punk to open the show and it sounds like a mixed reaction to me. Nope there are the boos. Punk talks about how everyone wants a Wrestlemania moment, but he had a Raw moment that was bigger than most people’s Mania moments. He’ll explain his actions in a bit but he wants to talk about how Raw 1000 went off the air. When the show was ending last week, Jerry Lawler said CM Punk has turned his back on the WWE Universe. That doesn’t sit well with Punk so he goes and sits on the announce desk in front of Lawler.

Punk talks about how he’s used to over the top commentary but he doesn’t get this one. If anything, it was Lawler who turned on CM Punk. Rock isn’t the WWE Universe but rather one person. Rock is a delusional movie star who showed the WWE Champion a lack of respect. Last week when Rock was doing his thing with Daniel Bryan, Rock completely ignored Punk which is disrespectful. Once Rock was talking to Punk, it was like Rock was lowering himself to do it. Then later in the night, Rock ran in and tried to make everything about him.

This isn’t ballet but rather the WWE and Punk is its champion. We haven’t heard from Rock in a week which is odd because during the Cena feud, you couldn’t shut Rock up. Lawler likes to spin things but Raw ended the way every show should end: with the focus on the WWE Champion. Cue Big Show of all people and Punk says he’s here to steal the spotlight. Show says Punk is right: the focus was on Punk to end the show last week but it should have been on Big Show. He cost Cena the world title, he made Cena be the first person to cash in and lose, he knocked out Cena and Punk STILL couldn’t beat Cena.

Punk would have tapped if not for Big Show, which Punk denies. Show says he’ll be the next WWE Champion which Punk scoffs at. Cena charges to the ring and goes right after Big Show while Punk looks on. Show runs to the floor and here’s AJ (officially called Lee now) in a business suit. This works for me. Tonight it’s Big Show vs. Cena for the title shot at Summerslam. You know, because Show has proven that he’s equal to Cena so many times now.

Bryan almost goes into AJ’s locker room but doesn’t.

Santino Marella vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio jumps him and takes over quickly, hitting a snap suplex and leg drop. Del Rio has gold/black boots now which work a bit better. Santino backdrops him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the arm and hitting a double stomp to the chest for no cover. Santino fires off some offense but as he does the splits, Del Rio kicks him in the head to break the momentum. Cross Armbreaker gets the tap out at 7:36.

Rating: D. Another match and another loss for Santino. For the 100^th time, I get that Del Rio is a bigger star and Santino has no business beating him, SO WHY DO YOU HAVE SANTINO FACE HIM??? You have an army of people you can throw out there so you take a champion and have him lose. That’s FREAKING STUPID.

Del Rio says everyone is beneath him and if it’s not a world title match, he won’t compete.

Bryan is still trying to knock on AJ’s door.

Post break here’s Brodus and the dancing girls, but Vickie says she’s going to show how them how to really dance. Thankfully Damien Sandow comes out to break things up. He calls himself a martyr because of what happened with DX last week and calls it a crime against humanity. Sandow jumps Brodus and takes out the knee which has been injured for how many months now? Sandow fires off the knees and Brodus is in trouble. Damien breaks the necklace Brodus wears and leaves him laying. It’s about time these guys got a feud.

We get a clip from two weeks ago with Ziggler taking the Codebreaker from Jericho. Jericho jumped Ziggler on Friday, resulting in Sheamus kicking Ziggler’s head off.

Bryan finally goes into AJ’s room and she seems calm. AJ offers a handshake but Bryan yells at her. She tells him to shut up and says she’s his boss. Last week she saw guys in white coats walking around backstage and Bryan wanted to marry her so she could have him committed. Bryan says they were his groomsmen but AJ doesn’t buy it. Tonight, Bryan gets Sheamus and it’s not even for the title.

The filler continues with a video on Lesnar vs. HHH from last week.

You can vote on the stips for Sheamus vs. Bryan: No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere or Street Fight. This filler is REALLY getting old.

Sheamus says he doesn’t care what match the fans pick but he’s glad the fans are picking. Sheamus thinks Josh is looking nervous but Josh says he’s fine. That seems to go nowhere.

We recap the fire before the show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

By my math, the poll was open about 6 minutes. Bryan wants the people to stop chanting YES because that’s his thing. Street Fight gets over 70% of the vote and the fans chant YES. This is officially a RAW ACTIVE match, because the fans got to pick it. Oh I’m not going to like these three hour shows. Bryan does the moonsault out of the corner but jumps into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (not the Irish Curse Cole!). Sheamus gets tripped into the middle buckle and Bryan takes over.

Bryan works over the arm which is apparently still injured from the car attack by Del Rio which was almost a month ago. Sheamus comes back with some punches and we head to the floor. Bryan gets sent into the barricade a few times and they head up to the stage. Bryan kicks Sheamus off the stage and the champ (this is non title) falls FEET to the floor, possibly hurting his leg. A running knee off the stage hits Sheamus in the head and we take a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm. Not the head or the leg, but the thing that was hurt four weeks ago. Back to the floor and Sheamus catches a diving Bryan, launching him into the barricade. Sheamus does the ten forearms with Bryan in the timekeeper’s area. A suplex puts Bryan back at ringside and it’s time for a chair and kendo stick. Bryan knocks both to the floor so Sheamus clotheslines him to the floor again.

As Sheamus goes for Bryan, Daniel grabs the kendo stick and beats the tar out of Sheamus with it. Bryan wedges the chair between the ropes but it allows Sheamus to get the stick and knock Bryan around with it. Bryan hits a dropkick to send Sheamus into the chair for two. We go to the floor for the fifth time and Sheamus hits a shoulder to send Bryan into the barricade. He loads up the steps but Bryan rams him into the post shoulder first. Back in and Bryan loads up the steps but Sheamus grabs him for White Noise. That gets broken up so Sheamus Brogue Kicks him for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: C+. That’s as high as I can go on this. This wasn’t a bad match but it felt like a house show main event. The biggest problems here were how repetitive it got (how many times did they go to the floor and someone got sent into the barricade?) and the psychology as Bryan couldn’t decide what part to work on. It was a decent match but it was nothing great.

Cole lies and says that Punk did his speech earlier at 8pm exactly, despite the first five minutes of the show being about the fire and recapping last week. We see a clip of Punk’s speech and that’s about it.

Post break Bryan is yelling about needing a doctor and he won’t leave the ring. Geez the filler is getting more and more obvious here. To fill time, we see ANOTHER clip of Punk’s speech. After that, Bryan is still whining for a doctor. Kofi comes out for his match anyway along with R-Truth. They tell Bryan to get out so Bryan makes fun of Little Jimmy. He then kicks Jimmy to the floor so Truth and Kofi go to the floor to check on him. The orderlies from last week come out and here’s AJ. She says Bryan needs help and that would include a psychiatric evaluation. Bryan and the orderlies go up the stage…and nothing of note happens.

Vince will name a new GM on Friday. I liked it without a GM on Friday.

Before the match, TOUT IT OUT BABY!

Kofi Kingston vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus starts with the power and catches a cross body. AW makes what sounds like a reference to Kobe Bryan’t rape case from like 8 years ago. Kofi counters a slam into a DDT but I’m trying to get over that Bryant reference. Why in the world would he say that? Kofi clotheslines him down and ruth clocks Darren. AW throws a shoe at Kofi and shouts about Kofi’s mama. That allows the Clash of the Titus to pin Kofi at 2:53.

Punk is talking to Cena in the back and says that he thinks Cena would have done the same thing when he tried to pin Cena. Actually he wouldn’t as he had the chance the week before but whatever. Punk says he respects Cena but he doesn’t care who wins tonight.

Back with an apology for what AW said. We also see what Cena and Punk did just a few seconds ago.

We recap Slater’s decimation by the new batch of legends last week.

Here’s Slater in the ring and he says he’s glad the legends have finally gone to the retirement home. He’s issuing a challenge to any current WWE Superstar to come face him.

Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton

I wrote Orton’s name before his music hit. Orton looks slimmer. During Orton’s entrance, we hear about ANOTHER technology thing you can do called Shazam, where you can get extra content or something. Slater pounds him into the corner but walks into a clothesline. Orton has a mohawk. WHY? RKO ends this at 1:15.

Time for Bryan’s psych evaluation. He answers every question with YES and starts shouting it over and over.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler

Christian and Ziggler start things off and Christian takes him to the mat quickly. Off to Miz who is taken down and punched in the head by the Canadian. The younger Canadian that is. Back to Dolph as we hear about a Tout War between Jericho and Ziggler from over the weekend. Jericho vs. Miz now with Chris getting two off an elbow drop. Back to Ziggler as things speed up a bit. Jericho hits a top rope ax handle and knocks both heels to the floor. Christian dives on both guys as we take a break.

Back with Miz holding Jericho in a chinlock. Apparently during the break a Vickie distraction changed the control. Jericho backdrops out of the hold and it’s off to Christian. Ziggler comes in and avoids the Killswitch but gets caught in the sunset flip out of the corner for two. A BIG dropkick puts Christian down but it only gets two. Back to Miz for another chinlock but Christian sends Miz to the floor to escape. Miz breaks up the hot tag though and Christian is stomped on some more. Ziggler mostly misses a Fameasser and Lawler rips into him for it.

Christian trips Ziggler up and a double tag brings in Jericho and Miz. Jericho springboard dropkicks Dolph off the rope and hits the Lionsault on Miz for two. Christian spears Ziggler in half but gets sent shoulder first into the post. Jericho tries the Walls but Miz escapes and hits a big boot to put him down. The Finale is countered but Christian pokes Miz in the eye, allowing the Codebreaker to pin Miz at 13:23.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but Miz loses a week after winning the title because someone has to in this match. This got time and was a fun match, but it means we have to go to more non-wrestling stuff which has been dreadful tonight. The match was a breath of air, but it wasn’t anything above pretty good.

Post match Ziggler hits Jericho with the briefcase.

Time for another fire recap to fill in a few moments.

We go back to the psych evaluation for ink blot tests. The blots are thrown on the table to form a goat, which Bryan freaks out over.

TOUT IT OUT AGAIN BABY!

Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd

No entrance for Tensai anymore. Tensai runs him over and the fans chant Albert. Kidd has a small cut on his forehead. Kidd escapes a nerve hold and hits a spin kick followed by a rollup for two. A kick to the head sets up a Blockbuster for Kidd but it only gets two. And never mind as the chokebomb and backsplash get the pin at 2:10.

Tensai beats him up post match and hits the other the shoulder backbreaker. The decision is reversed. Sakamoto is beaten up too. Is this supposed to make me care about him any more?

Back to the psych evaluation and the result is Bryan is a jerk and obsessed with Charlie Sheen but he’s sane. The shrink leaves and Kane comes in, says he’s Bryan’s anger management therapist, and beats Bryan up. We spent how many segments to have Kane attack Bryan?

We get the same recap of HHH vs. Lesnar from earlier.

Here’s Punk to do commentary on the main event.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Winner gets Punk for the title at Summerslam. Cena pounds away on him to start but gets punched down almost immediately. Things slow way down and Show continues to prove why he gets the reputation of a guy who is slow and dull to watch. The SHH chop misses in the corner and Cena jumps on his back. Cena tries a cross body but gets caught. That goes nowhere so we’ll go back to the choke on Show’s back.

The choke eventually gets two but Cena gets launched to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show throwing Cena around even more and shouting at Punk. Punk seems to be totally neutral so far. Show hooks a bearhug as Punk says the always stupid line of everyone is the same size on the mat. No Punk, they’re not. Cena fights out but Show falls on him in a slam attempt for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

A side slam puts Cena down but the Vader Bomb misses. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but he charges into a chokeslam for two. Cena rolls to the floor and Punk says you can’t lose out there. Show picks him up to ram Cena into the post but Cena escapes. Show gets sent into the post but Cena dives at him, only to miss and crash into Punk. Cena gets in at 9 and Punk is holding his arm. Show misses the big punch and walks into the AA but Punk breaks it up for the DQ at 16:17. He hit Show in the back.

Rating: D+. This was as slow of a Big Show match as I can remember in a long time. We get the idea already: Show is big and strong, but since he’s gone on this path of destruction, he hasn’t won a big match unless I’m overlooking it. This was really boring and way too slow for anything to come out of it.

Punk kicks Show AFTER the bell. The only question is if the triple threat announcement is this week or next. Punk says both guys are losers. I guess it’s a no contest. Punk leaves and the announcement of the triple threat is made to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show isn’t horrible, but sweet goodness is it exhausting. There is SO much filler here and that becomes the main problem: instead of doing ANYTHING different, they just took what was a two hour show and stretched it into three hours. It doesn’t make the show better; it just makes it longer. This is going to get very tiring very fast, especially with all of the social media nonsense that only WWE cares about.

As for the actual content of the show, it was nothing great. The big angle of Punk being evil didn’t seem to be followed up on here for the most part as for most of the show he was pretty much in between either side. Big Show sucks the life out of the scenes he’s in as I don’t think anyone really cares about him at all. The Bryan stuff looks like it’s trying to set up a Charlie Sheen match at Summerslam, which is going to be a VERY big risk. This was a very disappointing show and I’m not looking forward to next week.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Titus O’Neal b. Kofi Kingston – Clash of the Titus

Randy Orton b. Heath Slater – RKO

Christian/Chris Jericho b. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler – Codebreaker to Miz

Tyson Kidd b. Tensai via DQ when Tensai attacked Kidd after the match ended

John Cena vs. Big Show went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Money in the Bank 2012
Date: July 15, 2012
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s amazing how a year can change things. A year ago this was the hottest show in the world but now this is just another show. There’s nothing going on with this show that is going to overshadow what happens on the 1000th Raw. The main events tonight are the two ladder matches and the two world title matches. That’s the extent of the card so all four matches are main events. Let’s get to it.

Note that I’ll be watching this a few hours after it aired so I already know the endings. I had some issues avoiding spoilers, but the final three matches were all reviewed live.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho

Pre-show match. This is non-title for no reason whatsoever that I can tell. I get that Hunico and Camacho aren’t the number one contenders, but MAYBE THEY SHOULDN’T BE IN THIS MATCH THEN. Truth and Hunico start with Hunico running off Little Jimmy. Hunico’s music starts playing for a few seconds after the bell for some reason. Truth does his dance and works on the arm before bringing in Kofi. Kofi snaps off a rana for two and brings back Truth for a backbreaker for two.

Off to Camacho who hits a butterfly suplex for two. Hunico comes back in with a slingshot hilo for two. Truth hits the spinning forearm to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He flies around well enough to clean a few rooms but Hunico ducks the kick and takes out Kingston’s knee. Kofi goes for a springboard but Camacho kicks the ropes out to break it up and take over.

Camacho back in now and he pounds down the speedy one (Kofi) on the middle rope. Some headbutts from Camacho (he’s Tongan/Samoan so that has to be expected) puts Kofi into the corner and it’s back to Hunico. He hooks a chinlock followed by a lifting powerbomb for two. Kofi gets sent into the corner but he comes out with a gorgeous rana to send Hunico down. There’s the tag to Truth and he goes nuts. A DDT gets two on Camacho and everything breaks down. Little Jimmy (move, not person) hits Camacho for the pin at 8:22.

Rating: C-. This was a tag match and that’s about all I’ve got for it. That being said, it was a good choice for a pre-show match as it was good enough to get the crowd going thanks to Kofi’s jumping, but it wasn’t good enough that it took away from later matches. Again though, why in the world wasn’t this the tag title match? The belts don’t mean anything so why not put them here?

Time for the real show now.

No video for some reason.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

The ring nearly clears out to start and it’s Tensai in control. He cleans house and heads out to get the first ladder. Kidd is down in the corner so Tensai slingshots him into a ladder draped over the middle rope. Tensai goes after Christian so Christian and Kidd team up to squash him with some ladders. Christian decks Kidd and goes up but here’s Santino for the save. Kidd goes up as well but Sandow shoves all three over.

Cody and Ziggler come in now and Ziggler gets rammed into the ladder face first. Ziggler will have none of that and sends Cody into the ladder as well. If this was a year ago that would have gotten a much better reaction. It’s Cara’s turn to go crazy now and he snaps off a bunch of ranas. After the one to Cody, Rhodes is holding his knee. Cara goes up after Ziggler and they badly botch something with both guys falling to the mat.

Kidd vs. Cara now and Kidd gets sunset flipped down for a cover because Cara is confused. Cara slams him onto a ladder but Christian takes him down. Captain Charisma tries a frog splash but it only hits ladder. Cody pops up but gets taken down by a springboard dropkick from Kidd. With everyone down, Santino goes up but Tensai grabs him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t actually happen as Tensai falls backwards and Santino almost lands on the ladder. The botches are mounting up quickly.

Kidd sends Tensai to the floor and hits a dive to take out the Big Bald. Sandow goes up but Cara makes a save. That gets him nowhere as Cara is knocked down again and it’s Sandow going up again. Christian makes the save and gets his hand on the case, but Sandow takes him down again. Christian counters being rammed into the ladder in the corner and hits the reverse DDT to take Sandow down. He charges into a knee from Sandow, but hits the spear a few seconds later, sending Sandow into the ladder.

Christian goes up but Ziggler and Cody slams him into the ladder to make the save. They both go up and Ziggler gets rammed face first into the ladder. Tensai pulls Cody down and locks him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Kidd make the save. The Canadian is sent down and it’s Cara/Santino for the save. They get knocked down too so here’s Christian with some ladder shots to put Tensai back on the mat.

Ziggler sends Christian to the floor and it’s time for Santino to go insane. He hits his usual stuff on Ziggler and loads up the Cobra to take out Ziggler. Santino goes up but gets scared of heights. The Cobra makes him climb and takes out Sandow, but Cody dropkicks Santino, sending both him and the ladder down. Cody (whose leg appears to be fine now) throws a ladder at Santino and sets up another one in the middle of the ring.

Cody goes up and Vickie climbs the ladder to stop him. Ziggler makes a fast climb and hits the Zig Zag off the ladder to pull Cody down. Christian makes the last minute save and Sandow climbs another ladder. All three are up there so Kidd springboards in and takes Ziggler down in an awesome spot. Christian slams a ladder into Sandow’s face and they both go to the floor.

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Rating: B-. There was only so much they could do here with eight people and that’s what really brought things down here. With eight people, there aren’t enough spots to go around and it catches up to them every year. Sandow wasn’t needed here and I don’t think Cara was either. Neither guy really did much in the match but they didn’t bring it down either. The botches hurt it too, making this a pretty good match but more of a mess than anything else.

Sheamus talks about how Alberto slammed a car hood on his back. Sheamus’ dad taught him that you can tell a lot about a man by the car he drives. He isn’t much to look at, but he has it under the hood. Oh and Ricardo is a spare tire.

The Miz is back. He has very slicked back hair and talks about being gone due to filming a movie. He’s tired of being overlooked, so tonight he’s adding himself into the Raw World title MITB match.

Mick Foley winning the world title on January 4, 1999 is a Raw moment.

We recap Del Rio vs. Sheamus. The idea here is that Del Rio is finally getting his one on one shot and it’s his destiny. Sheamus has a bad shoulder and some other injuries after being attacked by Del Rio over the last few months.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

After some big match intros (complete with an old school weapons check) we’re ready to go. Sheamus knocks him to the floor and it’s time to stall. Back in and Del Rio gets knocked to the corner but he grabs the arm to take over. Scratch the taking over part as Sheamus hits an elbow to the face for two. Del Rio charges into another boot and a knee to the head gets two. Sheamus lowers his head and gets kicked in the face followed by a dropkick.

The champ still won’t have anything like that as he rams Del Rio into the buckle and suplexes him into the ring. Top rope shoulder gets two. Ricardo earns his paycheck with a distraction, allowing Del Rio to hit an enziguri to put Sheamus on the floor. There’s a shot to the shoulder and Del Rio takes over. A top rope dropkick gets two on Sheamus and it’s off to an armbar. Alberto hits a DDT on the arm for two and he slaps Sheamus in the back of the head a bit.

Del Rio cranks on the arm some more and hits a high kick for two. After a little more time in the armbar, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker to give himself a breather. It’s followed up by some ax handles to the face but Sheamus charges into the post. After a headbutt it’s time for the cross armbreaker, but Sheamus escapes. The slingshot shoulder is countered into a Codebreaker to the arm for two. The champ comes back with a knee lift and powerslam for two out of nowhere.

Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest but Del Rio drapes the arm over the top. Alberto charges right into the Irish Curse for two. Regal Roll is broken up and Sheamus charges into a boot. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two. The enziguri in the corner misses and there’s White Noise. Brogue Kick retains the title clean at 14:24.

Rating: C+. It’s no wonder this title is treated like a midcard title: there’s nothing here at all. There was almost no heat on this match and while it was ok, this felt like a TV main event instead of a PPV world title match. The feud feels thrown together and that’s not what you want for a match like this. Or maybe it’s that no one cares about Del Rio at all.

Post match Ricardo and Del Rio jump Sheamus, so here’s Ziggler with his case. After Del Rio is sent away, Sheamus kicks Dolph’s head off before the bell so there’s no match.

We get a promo from the pre-show from Bryan, who says he and AJ are soul mates.

Truth and Kofi come out to watch the next match.

Prime Time Players vs. Epico/Primo

Epico and Primo now have massive bibs with their names on them. AW is mic’d up again and it’s Primo vs. Titus to start. Titus takes over as Kofi calls Titus a horse. Off to Young as the crowd is DEAD. Primo hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner and it’s off to Epico. Primo launches himself at Young on the floor and Titus is sent out after him. Epico hits a huge dive to take out all of them.

Back in and Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two on Young. Back to Titus as AW continues to not have much to say. Oh scratch that as he wants a round of applause for his guys. Titus rams Epico into the post and works on the back in the ring. Young comes in again and dances a bit. He gets Epico on the apron and AW stops things to work on Young’s hair. Back to Titus for some backbreakers and a fallaway slam for two.

Titus stops to dance which causes Rosa to dance and get the crowd to make the first noise of this match. It also allows for the ice cold tag to Primo. He cleans house and hits a springboard chop and a springboard flip dive for two on Young. The hip attack to Young while Young is in 619 position sets up another springboard crossbody, but Primo dives into a gutbuster from Darren. Not that it matters as Primo rolls up Young for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. I get that this is filler, but what in the world are they going for with these matches? The Players are the #1 contenders but now they’re losing to the former champions. I mean, it’s not like they’re getting their title shot anytime soon, but why would we want to see that anyway? There’s been almost no interaction between the teams and we barely ever see the champs anymore.

Post match the losers and the champs have a staredown and Truth throws water on AW. No physical contact is made. Again, why would you have the Players lose here, unless you want to make a three way feud?

We recap Punk vs. Bryan. This is all about AJ, as she’s gone nuts and is guest referee here. She seemingly loves both guys and there’s no real way to know who she’s going to side with tonight. Unless you’re on the writing/booking team for WWE but that’s a small group of people indeed.

AJ says both guys have hurt her.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is now No DQ, Punk is defending and AJ is guest referee. Punk takes him to the mat and fires off some quick kicks. They head outside and Bryan gets rammed into the apron, only for Punk to get rammed into the barricade and kicked in the chest. Back in and Bryan fires off the YES kicks but gets rolled up for two. Bryan pounds away in the corner and they chop it out. That evolves into a strike off and the champion takes over.

A backbreaker looks to set up a middle rope legdrop but Bryan moves, followed by more YES kicks. They head to the floor again and Punk takes over, sending Bryan into the barricade again. Punk accidentally elbows AJ in the face, sending her out to the floor. The champ goes to check on her and Bryan uses the distraction to hit the running knee off the apron to take Punk down.

Punk gets draped over the steps on the floor and Bryan fires off more kicks. Punk comes back and sends Bryan into the timekeeper’s table. This is a back and forth match the entire time so far. The fans want tables because they’re greedy people. Punk pulls one out from under the ring but Bryan slams him down on the outside. Bryan finds a kendo stick and pounds away on the ribs of the champion. Punk rolls away and gets back inside while Bryan is still on the floor.

Back in and Punk gets the stick for a second, only for Bryan to go back to the ribs. Punk loads up a springboard but Bryan hits Punk in the ribs with the stick to take him down. Bryan fires away with stick shots to the ribs, complete with YES shouts. Those shots get two with the regular referee having taken over inside. Daniel goes up but the swan dive misses, putting both guys down.

They trade kicks and then forearms but it’s a leg lariat from Punk that takes Bryan down. Punk comes back with a running knee to the head and the snap powerslam for two. GTS and YES Lock are both countered and another GTS attempt is countered into a rana for two. Bryan kicks the champ’s head off and both guys are down. Bryan pops him in the back with a kendo stick and puts on a surfboard.

Punk manages to get to the kendo stick and beats the fire out of Bryan with it but can only get two. Punk goes up top but Bryan drills him with forearms to the head. Bryan pops up top and hits a superplex to put both guys down again. AJ is back and she sends the regular referee out to the floor. It’s time to skip! AJ pulls out a chair and Bryan crawls to her for it. Instead AJ throws the chair in the middle of the ring and it’s a scramble for it. Isn’t that how the XFL started its games?

Bryan gets in a kick to the ribs and pounds away on Punk with the chair for a close two. Bryan tries to talk to AJ calmly but it gets him rolled up for two by the champ. Daniel fires off more kicks to the chest of Punk and Punk can barely sit up in the corner. Bryan gets a running start but Punk comes out with a clothesline. Now Punk has the chair and blasts Bryan with it before wedging it between the top and middle ropes.

Punk goes to get Bryan to ram him into the chair, but AJ is standing in front of the chair. As Punk yells at her, Bryan comes up from behind and dropkicks Punk into the corner but not necessarily into the chair. Bryan goes to get the kendo stick but AJ is standing on it. She gives him a psycho stare and Bryan gives up. He walks into the high kick though and Punk slams Bryan onto the chair. The top rope elbow misses and the elbow hits the chair. Bryan throws on the YES Lock and grabs the stick at the same time to choke away.

Punk somehow bends back and blasts Bryan in the knee with the stick, followed by a GTS, but the champion can’t follow up. The GTS eventually gets two so Punk brings in a table. Punk loads up the elbow through the table but Bryan crotches Punk and hammers away. Punk slips down off the ropes and crotches Bryan at the same time. He pounds away with elbows and a belly to back superplex through the table FINALLY pins Bryan to retain the title.

Rating: A. This was GREAT at the end as I was hanging on every count of every near fall. That was a great match all the way through, but were you expecting anything else with these two having nearly half an hour? The major problem here though is the lack of AJ involvement. She basically did nothing other than blocking a weapon shot either way, and the ending was about the wrestling instead of her. That’s fine on paper, but we’ve spent two months building her up as the key to this whole thing. Still though, the match was more than enough to make up for that.

Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This was a pretty obvious pick. The “stars” have to tag here. Hawkins starts and pain follows. He gets sent to the floor and tags in Reks, who manages to take Ryback down for no count. Hawkins back in now and Ryback is actually in trouble. A double team actually gets one as Ryback is being beaten down. A gordbuster by Hawkins gets two. Reks comes in again and Ryback wakes up. The annoying fans chant Goldberg because Goldberg is the only wrestler to ever be pushed as a monster. The clothesline puts Hawkins down and Reks is Shell Shocked for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but they had to give Ryback more of a challenge eventually and that’s what happened here. Hawkins and Reks aren’t much, but they’re better than random jobbers. WWE has a huge roster, so there’s no reason to not use some of them against Ryback. At least it’s better than squash after squash.

Jericho debuting on Raw is a moment. That’s a good one for a change.

Layla/Kaitlyn/Tamina vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

When you have a seven match card and three are added the day of the show, you may be having some issues. Natayla and Tamina start us off as I guess Natalya is a heel again. Kaitlyn comes in with a cross body for two and it’s off to Beth. They trade slaps so here’s Eve, getting a slap of her own from Kaitlyn. Eve goes to the corner but comes out with a kick to the head for two. Beth comes in and chokes but it’s off to Layla. A sunset flip gets two for the champ (Layla) and everything breaks down. Tamina superkicks Beth into the Layout for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D. Why do the Divas wrestle? Honestly, I’d like an answer to that question. There are so many people you could send out there that would have something better to offer in the future, but we have to sit through this stuff instead. The girls are hot but they can’t wrestle. Cut down the roster to a few good looking ones and stop having them wrestle. Make two divisions if nothing else: models and wrestlers. It can’t be that hard.

Raw World Title Money In The Bank: John Cena vs. Kane vs. The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

Main event time. So the ideas here are that Cena has never been in one of these before, Show is “unstoppable”, Jericho is the originator of these matches, and that’s about it. Jericho, Miz and Kane go to the floor quickly and Cena clotheslines Show to the outside. Show sends Jericho into the ladder and Miz goes for the case, only to be stopped by Cena. Show clears the ring but here’s Kane to slow him down. That gets him nowhere and Miz goes down too.

Jericho comes in and grabs a quick Codebreaker to put Show down and Miz hits a DDT on him too. Kane boots Show to the floor and Cena is waiting. He hits a HUGE AA through the table and all four guys bury Show with ladders. All this has happened in the first four minutes of the match or so. Jericho is like screw this teamwork stuff and hits everyone with a ladder before going for a climb. Miz makes the save but gets put in the Walls for his efforts.

Kane breaks that up for some reason and Jericho has to fight him off. Miz goes up but Jericho makes the save after knocking Cena off the apron with a ladder shot. Jericho is going up but Cena makes the save. Now Miz goes up but Kane throws a ladder at his back to put him down. Jericho stops Kane but Miz and Jericho combine to suplex Kane onto a ladder. Cena lays both of them out with shoulders and it’s a double Shuffle.

Kane comes back in and tries a chokeslam, but Cena escapes and hits the AA onto Miz onto a ladder. Chris takes Cena down and lays out everyone else, but here comes Big Show again. Show literally snaps the braces off the middle of the ladder with his bare hands and crushes Jericho between the legs of the ladder. Kane gets a ladder thrown on him and Miz gets chopped in the chest through the ropes. Cena gets crushed behind a ladder and Show throws a second ladder over the top rope and down onto Miz. There’s a pile of about eight ladders at ringside.

Show goes to the floor and pulls out the jumbo ladder from last year. After taking forever to set it up, Show makes the slow climb up, but Kane goes up the other side. Apparently he uses his powers of mesmerizing because Show stops dead when Kane is looking at him. Kane gets chokeslammed down but here comes Cena. John gets sent down as well so here’s Jericho with a chair.

A trio of shots finally takes Show off the ladder and it’s Jericho vs. Cena on the ladder. They bat the case back and forth until Cena loads up an AA on top of the ladder. Jericho escapes and hooks a sleeper, causing Cena to climb down instead. Actually scratch that as Cena climbs back up with Jericho on his back, but he finally goes out. Miz tries to sneak up but Jericho knocks him back down. Cena gets a hand on the case but he goes down again. The hold is broken and Jericho goes up, but Miz runs up the ladder and they’re fighting for the case.

Jericho is higher up so Miz knocks him back and Jericho is dangling. Miz pulls him back to the ladder and loads up a superplex, but here’s Show again. Jericho looks terrified so Show drills him in the head. Miz takes a punch as well but Cena runs the ladder and blocks the punch with the case. He blasts Show in the head with it enough times to knock Show down and Cena wins at 20:07.

Rating: B. This was as good as you would expect with the talent in there. The ending with everyone not named Kane fighting on the ladder was very cool, with someone being on the ladder for the better part of five minutes. Blocking the punch with the case was a good idea too, and Cena is really the right choice for this as no one else would have made sense. Good stuff here and a good way to end the show.

Cena’s face when he wins is hilarious as he looks so happy.

Overall Rating: B+. The matches that needed to hit did so very well, but there were some dull parts here. When you have a seven match card and three of the matches are added the day of the show, you can tell that there’s something going wrong. That being said, the show was very entertaining and that’s what a show like this is supposed to be. It’s nowhere near what last year’s show was, but given the lower level Raw and Smackdown are at at the moment, I can’t complain here at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2009
Date: April 26, 2009
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,357
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Back with the final chronological Backlash before we jump back to 2006 to close out WWE PPVs. The main events tonight are Edge vs. Cena in a last man standing match and Legacy vs. HHH/Shane/Batista for the other world title which is one of those “whoever gets the pin gets the title” deals. I remember really liking this show so hopefully it’s still good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Wrestlemania and how this is just a replay of the main matches from there. It worked last year so hopefully it does here too. The Hardys fight again tonight too.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Christian

Christian recently returned and is getting his title match here after winning an overly complicated competition. Swagger takes him down but Christian comes back with right hands and a jumping back elbow for two. Swagger is like screw that and picks Christian up and launches him to the floor. Back inside and Swagger wraps him up on the mat. That gets shifted to a bearhug and the Canadian is in trouble.

Christian breaks it up with some forearms but Swagger gets behind him into a gutbuster for two. Back to that body vice on the mat which plays into Swagger being an All-American wrestler. The Canadian escapes and hits the pendulum kick in the corner but Swagger drills him again. Vader Bomb hits knees but Christian’s tornado DDT is countered as well. Sunset flip gets a VERY close two for the challenger.

Gutwrench powerbomb is countered but Christian’s ribs are getting really banged up now. Swagger puts him on the middle rope and this time the tornado DDT connects, getting two. Jack hits a belly to belly to put Christian down again and they head to the floor. Swagger BLASTS him with a right hand and tries a German off the apron but Christian holds the rope.

Back inside Christian goes up top but gets backdropped down. A top rope Vader Bomb gets two but an Oklahoma Stampede is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the Stampede gets two so they both take off buckle pads. Swagger goes into one first and the Unprettier gets the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was the right kind of match for an opener with Christian having to fight from behind until he caught Swagger using his own tricks. Christian would dominate ECW for the next ten months or so until it was replaced by NXT while Swagger would move over to the main shows and become world champion in a questionable move.

Christian celebrates in the back but stops to go talk to Edge. Edge says this must make Christian think he’s better than he is now because Edge doesn’t have a title. Christian wants to know what changed Edge and Edge says it was Cena. That’s why he’s not fun anymore.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat

This should be a treat. The story here is that Jericho went on an anti-legend kick in the past few months until he beat three of them (Piper, Snuka and Steamboat) at Mania. The thing is Steamboat, who might have wrestled one match in 15 years, stole the show and looked like he could still go out there and wrestle for 45 minutes and beat half the guys on the roster. He was 56-57 at this point, so he wanted one last match, one on one with Jericho.

Steamboat takes him down to the mat and Jericho has to get to the rope to escape. Ricky goes to the floor and makes Jericho miss him a few times before hitting a dive over the top and out onto the Canadian. Back in and there’s the armdrag into the armbar. The fans tell Steamboat that he still has it. Jericho gets up but walks right back into the armdrag/bar again. They slug it out and Steamboat is knocked over the top but he skins the cat, because he’s that awesome.

Jericho clotheslines him to the floor and springboard dropkicks him right back down. Off to a chinlock but Steamboat fights out and hits another armdrag. Back to the chinlock as Jericho talks trash. That’s one of the things I’ve always liked about him: he keeps things from getting completely dull during a usually dull part of the match. Back up and Steamboat shoves off the bulldog and Jericho gets caught on the ropes.

Steamboat goes all the way to the back for a belly to back suplex but the delayed cover only gets two. Some chops get another two count as does a powerslam. Jericho comes back with a running enziguri for two and the bulldog puts Steamboat down. The Lionsault is broken up but Jericho reverses the reversal into the Walls. Steamboat slips out from under them but can’t remember how to put on the figure four. That’s where the match gets kind of sad.

Jericho escapes and charges into the post, allowing the top rope crossbody to get two. Ricky goes up again but dives into the Codebreaker….for two. We get the WM 3 ending with the small package out of the slam for two, but Jericho slaps on the Walls and cranks hard for the tap. That’s one of the only times (if not the only time) I can remember Steamboat submitting.

Rating: C+. This is a really hard one to grade. Steamboat tried as hard as he could, but at the end of the day he’s nearing 60 and had wrestled two matches in almost fifteen years. Now don’t get me wrong: Steamboat DID NOT look awful out there, but he looked old. It’s sad to see him when you know what he used to be capable of, but all things considered, this was a solid performance. It’s VERY good that it was the last time too, because it would have gotten bad if he had kept going. The match was fun but it didn’t blow me away like the Mania performance did.

Steamboat gets a standing ovation post match, which he deserves.

Santino runs into Beth in the back and talks to “Santina” on the phone, who says she’s coming. Oh geez I forgot about this. Santino won’t admit he’s Santina and says Beth is the delusional one. Beth breaks up with him.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Punk won MITB and Kane isn’t happy about it. Punk holds him off with some kicks but has to stick and move against the monster. Kane charges into a boot and gets caught in an arm hold over the ropes. Punk dropkicks him to the floor but his dive is caught in a chokeslam position. He fights up to the apron and hits a clothesline down onto Kane to take over again. Kane sends Punk rib first into the post and baseball slides into them, giving him his first advantage.

Off to a bodyscissors as it occurs to me how boring matches can become when there’s no story to them. The reviews of them become boring too because there’s nothing to say here other than the play by play. I don’t like doing them like that but there’s nothing else to do as there’s no story to this at all. Punk elbows out of it but charges into a clothesline. Punk hits a backbreaker to stay on the back which is the same kind of boring match stuff that I was talking about. The wrestling is fine but it’s the same stuff we’ve seen a million times and there’s no reason to care about it because of a lack of a story.

Chokeslam is countered into a DDT on the arm and Punk follows up with kicks to the leg. Well of course he does. Punk hooks a kind of crucifix hold on the arm in the corner but the knee in the corner is countered by a kick to the face. Kane goes up for the clothesline but Punk hits a running enziguri. The GTS is countered but there’s the bulldog and knee. Scratch that, reverse it. You get the idea I’m sure. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into an uppercut. Kane gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar but he comes back with a side slam. Punk fires off the strikes but walks into a two arm chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here as they were totally going through the motions. The match wasn’t bad or anything but there was nothing interesting to it at all. This was there to fill in about fifteen minutes total of PPV time which was fine, but this was nothing you couldn’t see weekly on Smackdown. I was expecting a bit more too.

We recap the battle of the Hardys. Matt went crazy on Jeff after losing the ECW Title and was revealed to be the guy that was causing all kinds of problems for Jeff and ultimately the world title. They had a match at Mania where Matt went insane and got the pin. Then Matt won a stretcher match on Smackdown so tonight it’s an I Quit match. The problem at the end of the day was that people didn’t really want to see these two guys fight. This gets the music video treatment.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit rules remember. Jeff goes off on him in the corner and hits a seated dropkick to send Matt to the floor. Jeff hits a dive and the referee asks if they want to quit. Yeah they’ll quit a minute into the match, sure. With a running start, Jeff hits Poetry in Motion off the steps. Back in and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. A middle rope legdrop hits Matt and it’s off to a chinlock. The lack of covers is always a bit hard to get used to in these matches.

Matt rams him into the buckle to break the hold but can’t do much to follow up. Jeff goes up but gets shoved to the floor in a great crash. Matt wraps Jeff’s leg around the post and we get the first ask with the mic. Jeff says no both times so Matt bends the knee around the post. Matt puts on a figure four and Jeff still won’t quit. Jerry thinks Matt is going after the knee. You can’t buy this kind of analysis people!

Jeff escapes but gets put right back in it again. That doesn’t work so Matt hooks a seated half crab but Jeff still won’t quit. Matt puts him in the Tree of Woe and bends Jeff’s head back but Jeff won’t quit. Instead of holding him there longer, Matt rants and probably posts a YouTube video about it. He puts Jeff on top but his belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody.

Jeff hooks a standing Texas Cloverleaf and Matt taps but won’t say he quits. They botch a Twist of Fate so the second attempt works a bit better. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a table. Matt rolls to the floor but Jeff follows with the Twist to take him down again. Back in the ring now and Jeff puts him on the table.

Before he does anything though, Jeff grabs some tape from under the ring and ties Matt’s hands and feet together. Now he gets a rope and ties Matt to the table. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a ladder. Jeff climbs said ladder but Matt begs for mercy. He says Mom and Dad wouldn’t like it and that he loves Jeff. Matt quits to prevent Jeff from jumping.

Rating: C. This was a fun match but the ending hurt it badly. With all the stuff that Matt has been through over the years, he quits to avoid a legdrop through the table? The match was just ok up to that point but at the end of the day like I said earlier, I don’t think people were really that interested in seeing these guys fight. This ended the feud, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Jeff jumps on him anyway.

Orton talks about Batista and how he (Orton) wants the title. He tries to manipulate Dave into believing that HHH is using him.

Here’s Great Khali because he wants to kiss Santina. This isn’t going to end well at all. Ok so there was a battle royal at Mania for the title of Miss Wrestlemania. Santino wore a dress and said he was his own twin sister and won the battle royal. Beth said that it was Santino in drag but he wouldn’t admit it. Khali fell for Santina and wants to kiss her so Santino is in a tight spot. This is one of the dumbest stories I can remember in a very long time, so of course it went on for months.

After Singh says Khali wants Santina, here “she” comes to Billy and Chuck’s old music. Santina says she can’t kiss Khali because she’s not who she says she is. She isn’t single because she’s in love with another man. That man is…..JR. Oh give me a break. From what I can tell, this was another unplanned shot at JR. JR gets annoyed when Santina says he calls her his little slobberknocker. Khali apologizes but wants to see proof of their love in the form of a kiss.

Santina says she’s about to faint and here’s Beth to complain about how stupid this is. She challenges Santina for the crown RIGHT NOW. Khali complains about what’s going on here so Beth explains the whole cross dressing thing to him. She says all of the women in Punjab must be ugly. Either that or Khali is a big idiot. He chops her and the bell rings, giving Santina a win in three seconds. This is one of the dumbest angles I have ever seen and I had almost completely forgotten it. Khali rips Santina’s top off for no apparent reason.

We recap Legacy vs. Batista/HHH/Shane. Orton has basically declared war on the McMahons, having punted Vince and attacked/kissed Stephanie. Shane is the only one left and Batista has been brought in to help with HHH to counteract Legacy. Orton injured Batista and this is his return feud.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton/Legacy vs. Batista/HHH/Shane McMahon

Only Orton can win the title and it can be by pin, submission, countout or DQ. HHH is champion coming in. Legacy is Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes in case you’re a young’un. HHH goes right after Orton and they head to the floor. The other four are kind of staring at each other. This is all before the bell. Orton has run off somewhere as HHH comes back to clear the ring. The bell finally rings and there’s no Orton.

Batista starts with Rhodes and destroys him in the corner with the shoulder blocks. He shouts that DiBiase is next and it’s off to Shane who drops a middle rope elbow. Shane works on the arm and it’s off to the champ. HHH fires off right hands and a crotch chop in whatever order you would like to think it was in. DiBiase comes in and is clotheslined down. Shane comes in to play Bret in a Hart Attack for two.

Big Dave comes in again as does Cody. Legacy has had no offense so far at all. There’s a delayed vertical suplex to Rhodes but Cody rakes the eyes and brings in Ted. Legacy gets in some basic offense in the corner as they double team a bit. Batista shrugs that off and hits the spinebuster on DiBiase but Ted bails to the floor before the Bomb can hit. We’re over five minutes into this and Orton hasn’t been seen for any of the actual match.

DiBiase and Batista go up the aisle a bit but it’s more Ted running than anything else. They head back to the ring and here’s Orton to jump Big Dave, sending him into the post. He gets the tag (which wasn’t seen) and goes off on Batista. The fans are into the match now, probably because they knew nothing was going to happen without Randy there. Batista gets beaten down in the corner as the tag is made to Cody.

Legacy and Orton work over Batista on the floor and Orton hits the Elevated DDT for two. Back to DiBiase who hooks a Million Dollar Chinlock. Big Dave comes back with a belly to back suplex but he still can’t make the tag. This is looking like it’s going to be a long match given how early Batista is getting beaten down. Randy comes back in and things slow down again. Even JR is thinking he’s going too slowly.

Off to another chinlock which is pretty quickly broken. Batista comes out of nowhere with a freaking flying headbutt of all things. Hot tag brings in Shane who cleans house. Neckbreaker gets two on Rhodes. They head to the floor and Shane pulls the top off of the table but Cody heads back in. The top rope elbow gets two as DiBiase makes the save. Orton sends Shane into the steps and we go into heel control segment #2.

Randy is legal now but he brings Ted back in for fear of being interesting. Shane gets worked over on the floor a bit more and it’s back to Cody again. Legacy keeps tagging in quickly as it’s back to Orton who pulls Shane back into the wrong corner. He dropkicks Shane down and DiBiase comes in for some elbow drops. It’s amazing that this is the peak of DiBiase’s career to this point, especially when it was him who everyone thought he was the star of Legacy.

Cody hooks a front facelock which lasts about a full minute before Shane suplexes him out of it. Back to DiBiase who keeps Shane in the ring even longer. There’s the Million Dollar Dream but Shane escapes. There’s the double tag to Orton and HHH with the Game pounding away in the corner. Legacy gets thrown to the floor and there’s a spinebuster to Orton for two.

Everything breaks down and Cody blasts Shane with a chair. Batista gets hit in the throat with it too as the Pedigree and RKO are both countered. HHH has to take the chair away from Batista to avoid the DQ, but he walks into the RKO for two. The bell rings but it has to be waived off. The Punt gives Orton the title.

Rating: B-. This was a bit of a mess but after the mess that was the main event of Mania, it was definitely the right idea to bring in four other people. Orton would feud with Batista for awhile until Big Dave got hurt (again) before feuding with Cena to end the year. HHH would feud with Orton and Legacy for awhile before hooking up with Shawn again for another DX reunion.

HHH gets taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Edge vs. Cena, which is a rematch from the triple threat three weeks ago minus Big Show. That’s the match with the double AA to both guys in the mind blowing spot of the match. Cena took the title from Edge and tonight is Edge’s rematch in a last man standing match. The theme of the video is that Edge has had Cena’s number over the years and it’s really well made.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

The brand of the titles is pretty much a guess at this point as they were moving around a lot at this time. Cena is defending and this is last man standing in case you forgot what you read about 20 seconds ago. Cena took a Conchairto on Raw so he’s a bit messed up in the cranium. This is billed as the last match between the two. I’m sure. Edge avoids the bulldog to start and it’s a standoff.

The challenger bails to the floor but misses the spear back in. Edge takes over by pounding on him in the corner before walking into a release fisherman’s suplex. An Edge-O-Matic puts Cena down as we focus on the back of Cena’s head. Edge wins a slugout and puts Cena down with another shot to the head. A flapjack puts Cena down again and we get a logical sleeper. Edge puts him down and finally lets go but Cena is up at seven.

Cena comes back with the shoulder blocks but Edge breaks up the Shuffle. There’s a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena gets up again. Edge knocks him off the apron and into the table as we get to the more wild part of the match. That shot only gets another seven so Edge loads up the steps. The spear that Edge tries hits the steps though and Cena gets a breather. At six though Edge comes back and sends him into the steps again, putting the champ down.

Now Edge goes into the steps again as this is feeling like it’s on a loop. After another eight count Cena picks up the steps and puts them in the ring albeit with some difficulty. Edge gets in another shot to the head and Cena is down again. The Canadian crushes Cena in the corner with the steps and dropkicks them into his body but both guys are down as a result. Back up and Cena launches Edge to the floor. We’re about twelve minutes into this and it hasn’t been all that great so far.

Things pick up a bit with Cena picking up the steps and throwing them over the top rope and right onto Edge’s head. Edge is up at eight and Cena is getting fired up. Back in the ring and they slug it out some more with a double punch putting both guys down. Back up and three AA’s, an Edgecution and an Edge-O-Matic are all broken up before Edge hits a belly to back suplex to take over.

He brags too much though and Edge gets caught in the STF. He taps but it doesn’t matter. As with any submission hold, Cena lets go early (I wonder if he did that with Mickie….allegedly) and Edge is up at 8. The AA is broken up again and Edge spears him down. Edge goes up top and Cena FINALLY hits the AA off the ropes but it doesn’t finish things either. Cena goes up but dives into another spear. Now this is getting better.

The spear only gets nine and Edge is stunned. Both guys are barely able to stand at this point. Scratch that as Cena collapses and falls to the floor. Edge won’t let the referee count and tries the Edgecution on the table, but Cena counters and hits an AA into the crowd. That wouldn’t really do a ton of damage in theory but the landing would, as the fans mostly caught Edge. It gets another nine and Edge is up, although he’s leaning on the barricade. Cena is stunned.

Edge is like screw this and runs off into the crowd with Cena chasing him up the stairs. They head into the concourse and Cena catches up with him, only to head right back into the arena. They go back down some different stairs and Cena bulldogs him onto the equipment area. Edge pops up and hits Cena with something metal as they go to the stage.

An Edgecution (the inverted DDT in case you don’t remember what that move is) on the steel puts Cena down for nine. Edge goes into the back and comes back with a chair. Gee that’s kind of lame now. He gives Cena a Conchairto on the stage….for eight. Edge’s spear is caught in the AA and here’s Big Show to chokeslam Cena through an exploding spotlight, giving Edge the title.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches that really is better when you watched it live. I remember wondering what they could POSSIBLY do to end this and then Big Show came out to blow stuff up. They had to do something like that given all of the stuff they had done so far and the explosion filled that role pretty well. The first ten minutes are just ok but after that it kicks into gear in a hurry. Great match here.

Cena is taken out on a stretcher as Edge watches from the stage. People were BEGGING for Punk to cash in here but that wouldn’t be for a few more months.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with a solid main event. These Wrestlemania repeat shows are usually good despite having the same matches for a lot of the time. This one wasn’t quite as good as the previous year’s show but it was still a very solid entry with mostly satisfying matches, other than a few questionable ones here and there. Oh and the Santino stuff was freaking stupid. Other than that, good stuff though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2008
Date: April 27, 2008
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,277
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley

We begin the final set of PPV reviews here with the next to last Backlash. The main events are mostly Mania rematches, as JBL has been added to the Raw triple threat from Mania 24 and Edge faces Undertaker again. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Batista which is fallout from Shawn vs. Flair and sets up the Shawn vs. Jericho feud. Dang Shawn had a lot going on here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video says Mania was the beginning and tonight is the revenge. Or the backlash you might say.

The announcers welcome us to the show and Mick Foley is revealed as the new commentator.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This is the culmination of a feud that went on for almost eight months as Matt and MVP both got hurt so they had to keep waiting. We get a clip from five months ago where MVP attacked Matt’s leg. Matt returned last month to cost MVP the MITB match and tonight it’s FINALLY the blowoff. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. MVP goes for the knee of Hardy and Matt looks a bit ginger on it.

Hardy comes back so MVP bails to the floor. Back in and Matt takes him to the canvas with a headlock. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two but MVP gets in a shot to the back to slow Hardy down. They go to the corner with MVP’s belly to back superplex being broken up. Matt’s moonsault hits knees though and the champion takes over. He works on the back/midsection which was injured as well apparently.

Off to an abdominal stretch but Matt escapes with a hip toss. He lands on MVP, meaning MVP probably has broken ribs. The champ comes back with a belly to belly for two. A clothesline finally gets Matt a breather and allows him to hit a bulldog out of the corner for two. The Playmaker is countered into the Side Effect for two. The crowd is really getting into this.

Hardy goes up but gets crotched due to a dropkick to the ropes. They go up top and Matt hits a top rope Side Effect for no cover as both guys are down. It eventually gets two as does a backslide from the champ. Matt grabs a fast rollup for two but the Twist of Fate is countered. MVP hits the Drive By (running boot to the face) and Hardy is knocked to the floor. He barely gets back in at 8 and MVP is stunned. Another boot to the face puts Matt down but a running one in the corner hits buckle, allowing Matt to hit the Twist for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The idea here was to give the fans something to get all fired up over and that was certainly accomplished. This feud went on forever but the ending was the perfect kind, as the fans were all behind Matt and wanted to see him end the nearly year long reign that MVP was on. Good opener here and I was getting into it by the end.

Matt talks about how great this is and how hard he’s worked. It’s been worth all the injuries too. And to MVP, I am better than you.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane is defending after having won the title in 8 seconds at Mania. Chavo has his bodyguard Bam Neely. Edge attacked Kane’s knee on ECW on Tuesday so the champ is coming in injured. Chavo goes for the knee so Kane hits him in the face. The low dropkick hits Chavo’s face but it hurts the knee even more. Kane chokes Chavo over his back and hits a gorilla press to follow up. Guerrero finally takes the knee out and sends him face first into the buckle.

They head outside but Kane catches Chavo in the air and rams his back into the barricade. They head back in but Kane has his knee kicked out to give the challenger control. Neely gets in some shots and we go back in. Adamle is totally lost in calling this, getting basic things wrong and even having Tazz make fun of him. Chavo goes up but winds up on Kan’e shoulders for an electric chair drop.

Both guys are down now but Chavo kicks the knee out again. Kane is all cool with that and grabs him by the throat. That gets released so it’s a big boot to the face instead. Side slam gets two and Adamle actually called it the right name. He’s getting a little better at least. Kane goes up and hits the top rope clothesline for two. Chavo goes up as well and a missile dropkick gets two. He takes out the knee again but goes up, only to get caught in a chokeslam position. Chavo escapes but the Frog Splash is caught in the chokeslam for the pin and Kane retains.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t that bad I guess. Kane needed to get a clean win here instead of making it look like a fluke/meaningless win as it was at Mania, but at the end of the day there’s almost no way you can spin Chavo as a credible threat to someone like Kane. Not a great match but it could have been a lot worse.

Orton says he’s been through a lot lately but he’ll come out of this as world champion still.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

No real story here. They’re just fighting for the sake of fighting because they’re both massive. They stare each other down and slug it out a bit with Big Show moving much faster than Khali. Show headbutts him but it doesn’t have much effect. They trade chops and a clothesline puts Show down. Show fights back and tries a slam, only to get clotheslined to the floor.

After nothing of note happens out there they head back in with Khali chopping him down again. A big boot puts Show down and Khali hooks on, I kid you not, a Crippler Crossface. Show fights up but can’t slam Khali. Off to a nerve hold which causes a lot of screaming from Big Show. That gets broken pretty quickly but Show gets chopped down for another two count. Khali cranks on the arms as the fans think this is boring. Big Show fights up and slams Khali for two. The Punjabi Plunge is countered into the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Next. Seriously, next. This match came, it went, there’s nothing to think about here at all. Khali was big and slow and once he lost the world title, it was all downhill from there. Show may be big and slow, but at least he has some skill and a tiny bit of speed to throw in there to make his matches seem like they’re actually happening instead of a series of still photographs. Horribly dull match but given who was in there, what else were you expecting?

Cena gives country music advice to Jimmy Wang Yang when Orton comes up. Orton says Cena will lose again tonight but Cena says tonight Orton will go home broken. Cena’s hair looks a lot darker here than usual.

We recap Shawn vs. Batista. The idea here is that Shawn retired Flair at Wrestlemania and Batista isn’t happy about that. During Flair’s retirement ceremony, the camera panned over to Batista for a quick shot, which showed him being very unhappy when Shawn came out. Jericho is involved in this too, as he thinks Shawn wanted to retire Flair which Shawn doesn’t like the idea of. He thinks Batista wanted to retire Flair too, which got him beaten up by both guys. Jericho is the guest referee tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Feeling out process to start as Batista tries to figure out how to counter the strength advantage. He tries chops which get him nowhere other than into a Batista Bomb attempt. Back in now as Shawn fires away some kicks to the legs which don’t have much effect. Big Dave is like screw this and runs Shawn over to gain control. Shawn gets him down by taking out the leg again and hooks a shortarm scissors.

They actually hit the mat for a bit with Batista trying to roll out, only to get caught by some knees to the arm. Since it’s a Shawn Michaels shortarm scissors though, you know the counter that’s coming. It takes awhile but there it is, as Batista lifts him off the mat and throws Shawn over the top and out to the floor. Dave goes with him though and both guys are down on the outside.

Shawn rams the arm into the post as Batista is in trouble. Shawn is kind of wrestling heel here which is a natural fit for him if he needs it to be. Back in and he cranks on the arm, tying it up in the ropes for more leverage. Batista tries to take it to the corner but Shawn locks on a standing cross armbreaker which he bends over the ropes as well. That looked sick. Shawn goes up and drops a double ax to the shoulder as he’s totally focused on one body part.

Batista finally comes back with a Samoan Drop to put both guys down and buy himself a breather. Shawn gets sent into the corner and flips upside down, followed by a big clothesline from Batista’s good arm. The Batista Bomb is countered into a Crossface which is pretty soon after Benoit. The Animal almost gets to a rope but Shawn floats over into a cover followed by another Crossface back in the middle of the ring. That was slick.

Batista gets the rope and the fans are booing loudly. Jericho has to physically break the hold and Shawn isn’t pleased. Batista gets a side slam with the bad arm for two and we get a quick breather. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up but he walks into the spear for two. Shawn goes up and after shoving Batista down he hits the big elbow for no cover. He loads up Sweet Chin Music but Batista counters that into a spinebuster. The Bomb is escaped but Shawn’s knee gives out. Jericho checks on Shawn and it’s ok to continue. Batista walks over and gets his head kicked off, giving Shawn the pin.

Rating: B. Shawn was on fire in 2008 and this was no exception. This was getting very good when it ended but the ending was fine. It’s actually the beginning of a much bigger storyline as Jericho didn’t believe the knee was really hurt and called Shawn out on it. These two would feud until October and it was without question the top feud of the year. Good match here but the best hadn’t even started yet.

Jericho has to help Shawn to the back.

Buy the Wrestlemania DVD.

Orton comes to see HHH now and says tonight HHH won’t succeed. Orton says he’ll win but HHH says pride comes before the fall.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Layla/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Ashley/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Mickie won the title from Beth a few weeks ago in a huge upset. There is something to be said about putting 12 good looking women in a single tag match. Beth, with curly hair, starts with Michelle, who looks GOOD in black. Beth counters the speed moves and powerslams her down for two. Off to Melina who hooks a bridging front facelock with a choke. Michelle rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Melina in the face.

Off to the champ (Mickie in case you forgot) who hits a rana out of the corner but Melina tags off to Natalya who is in a black and yellow body suit. It’s her PPV debut so it’s understandable I guess. Victoria comes in and misses her shaking moonsault. Mickie hits an enziguri and the brawl breaks out on the floor. Ashley comes in for a HORRIBLE rana on Jillian, getting two. Thankfully Beth comes in to give her a beating for how bad it was. Ashley escapes the Glam Slam but can’t tag. Mickie comes in illegally and the parade of finishers begin. After everyone hits something, Beth pins Ashley with a fisherman’s buster.

Rating: D+. The match sucked, but MAN were the girls better back then. They were better in the ring and they looked a lot better too. The girls here actually looked like their outfits weren’t made by the same people which is a big upgrade. Also them having more than 90 seconds a week is a big improvement too. Screw them being role models. They exist because they look good in tight spandex that shows off their bodies. Don’t try to over complicate this stuff.

Some Baltimore Ravens are here.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. Edge tapped away the title at Mania and says he hasn’t felt right ever since. Vickie, corrupt authority figure #847, has stacked the deck against Taker by making him have hard matches while Edge has basically had a month off.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Taker actually says I’m going to hurt you to Edge during the big match intros. Edge gets thrown to the floor to start and then is run over by a shoulder block. It’s still in the feeling out period here. Taker charges into a boot and gets clotheslined down as Edge takes over for the first time. And never mind as Edge gets thrown into the corner and Taker pounds away even more. Taker cranks on the arm and sends the shoulder into the buckle.

The champ loads up Old School but Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Taker gets clotheslined to the floor and a baseball slide sends Taker into the barricade. Edge dives off the apron but is easily caught and rammed into the posts. That’s similar to what Kane did earlier so maybe it runs in the family. The champ pounds him down some more and drops the leg on the apron but it hurts Taker’s bad back.

Back in the ring a slam and legdrop get two, brother. What might have been the tombstone is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. With Taker in the corner Edge hits a spear to the back for two. Edge hooks a body scissors and Taker is getting ticked off. The Dead Man pounds away at Edge’s face to escape but Edge hits a dropkick to the back to put him down again. Another baseball slide puts Taker on the floor and we head outside for another bit.

That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a Canadian camel clutch. Taker fights out of that by standing up but Edge hooks another body scissors and right back into the camel clutch. That gets broken up exactly the same way and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Now a double big boot puts both guys down in case you’re a leg man instead of an arm man. Taker wins a slugout much to the fans’ delight and a big boot puts Edge down again.

A running corner clothesline hits Edge and it’s snake eyes into the big boot. An elbow drop gets two and Taker is getting a bit gassed. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner. That would be because he’s an idiot in case you’re wondering. Taker gets him in Last Ride position but Edge THINKS and climbs down as no one else has thought to do. Taker shoves him off and tries a top rope elbow (I’ve seen him do that live and it’s awesome) but Edge moves and gets two.

The challenger rolls to the floor and grabs the belt but Taker grabs the chokeslam. Edge counters that as well, this time into a Russian legsweep for two. Edge goes up again but gets chokeslammed down for a delayed two. The tombstone is countered as Edge grabs the ropes. He pulls on them so hard that the buckle comes off. Taker gets rammed back first into it but manages a Last Ride attempt anyway.

Curt Hawkins of the Edgeheads runs in and hits Taker with the belt but that only gets two as well. The spear is countered into a DDT for two. The chokeslam is abandoned because of Zach Ryder interference (man that would be different today) so Taker opts for the Last Ride again. Edge rolls through into a rollup but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate for the tap out to retain. Sweet finishing sequence.

Rating: B. I was digging this one as it was the kind of interference filled match that you expected at Mania but didn’t quite get. The Mania match is better due to the atmosphere and the significance of the win, but this was still a solid match with both guys showing off some solid chemistry together. Edge would eventually get the title back and it would of course be in another good match.

Taker doesn’t let go of the hold for awhile. Vickie has to come down and the horror of her running (after being in a wheelchair) makes Taker let go. Edge gets wheeled out on a stretcher.

Orton goes up to see JBL when Punk pops up. He holds up the MITB case and says good luck tonight.

Cena and HHH combine for over 80% of the four person poll of the main event.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s the triple threat (Orton defending against Cena and HHH) from Mania with JBL thrown in. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is no DQ and no countout with elimination rules. HHH gets a big pop and Cena gets a mixed yet louder reaction. Orton gets a lot of booing and no one cares that JBL is here too. Orton immediately gets knocked to the floor by HHH and looks like he’s about to throw up a frog. JBL jumps Cena but HHH says he’s mine and gets in a fight with Cena on his own. Orton is still hiding on the floor so Cena takes him down.

JBL knocks Cena off the apron and onto the announce table with a LOUD landing. Orton and JBL beat on HHH in the ring with the Game being in trouble. He comes back with a double clothesline and sends JBL to the floor. Orton’s shoulder hits the post and HHH goes to the floor. He sends JBL into the steps and loads up a Pedigree but JBL escapes. Cena hits the Throwback on Orton followed by the top rope Fameasser into the STFU. JBL comes back in and sets to break it up then realizes there’s no reason to do so and tells Orton to tap.

HHH grabs JBL and puts him in a Crossface right in front of Orton who is still in the STFU. JBL pokes Cena in the eye for some reason which breaks the STFU, allowing Orton to shout at JBL to tap in a funny bit. Cena knocks Orton into HHH and JBL, breaking the Crossface. Orton throws Cena to the floor again but JBL kicks Randy down for two. Orton comes back with a clothesline and goes up but gets crotched.

JBL loads up a superplex but JBL and Cena make it a Tower of Doom. Cena and the Game slug it out until Cena hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two. ProtoBomb takes HHH down again but the Shuffle is broken up by a spinebuster. HHH loads up the Pedigree but JBL tries the Clothesline for some reason. That results in an FU for him followed by the STFU for the tap. We’re down to three but Orton immediately punts Cena for the pin and we’re down to two.

So it’s Orton vs. HHH in a one on one match for the title. HHH throws him to the floor where Orton lands with a thud. Randy goes into the table but HHH goes into the steps, meaning advantage champion. Orton launches him into the barricade and into the crowd. A suplex brings HHH back to ringside and Orton poses a bit. Orton stomps on HHH back in the ring and poses some more before covering for two.

HHH tries a comeback but walks into the backbreaker for another near fall. We hit the chinlock for awhile but HHH fights out of it. Orton takes him down AGAIN, this time with the powerslam for two. The RKO is countered and they slug it out. HHH hits the high knee and both guys are down again. Facebuster gets two for the Game. He clotheslines Orton to the floor and throws him over the announce table.

Orton comes back by sending HHH into the barricade and loads up a piledriver on the steps but gets countered instead. Back inside and a spinebuster puts Orton down again. The Pedigree is countered as is the RKO and the referee goes down. The RKO hits out of nowhere but the slow cover only gets two. The Punt is countered into the Pedigree for the pin and the title for HHH.

Rating: B-. The match was good although you could pretty easily write out Cena and JBL and have the same thing. They added a bit but more than half of the match was the one on one stuff. That being said it’s probably the best match Orton and HHH ever had and is certainly better than the Mania main event they would have the next year. Not a classic or anything close to one, but for a B-level main event this was perfectly fine.

Overall Rating: B+. The show isn’t a masterpiece or anything but when almost all of the matches are good save for one which is relatively short, that’s a pretty solid show all around. Good stuff here but the year would go downhill a bit as the feuds would get driven into the ground with the same three guys dominating everything. Still though, this was a solid show and while it’s not a classic, it’s worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2007
Date: April 29, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Taz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the final show in this set of WWE reviews as I jump over Backlash 2006 because I’m saving it for the final review in the series. The main event here is a fourway for the belt as well as Undertaker vs. Batista II in a last man standing match. ECW is around now too and we get Vince/Umaga/Shane vs. Lashley for the ECW Title in what I’m sure will be riveting TV. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how everything began at Wrestlemania but everything continues tonight.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The Hardys are defending. We’re back to co-branded shows here so everyone is here tonight. Matt and Cade get us going. The fans are all behind the Hardys here of course, even though Cade knocks Matt down in the corner. Matt comes back with some hiptosses for both guys before taking Cade down with a headlock. Lawler makes the always stupid statement that they’re the same height on the mat.

Off to Murdoch who is quickly slammed down as well. Jeff comes in to a quick pop and things speed up. The Hardys clear the ring and Jeff hits Poetry In Motion over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Matt hits a middle rope elbow on Murdoch for two. Matt’s bulldog is countered though and the challenges take over. Cade comes in for a powerbomb attempt but gets caught in a Russian legsweep which lets Jeff get the tag.

Jeff cleans house, probably finding Cade’s drugs in the process. He misses a dropkick through the ropes though and crashes to the floor, changing the momentum again. Sitout Rock Bottom gets two for Cade. Murdoch comes in and blocks Jeff’s jawbreaker and hits a neckbreaker for two. A big boot puts Jeff down for two. Cade and Murdoch were pretty talented in the ring, but they were just boring at the end of the day. That and the lack of competition is why they’re not remembered that well at all.

The challengers keep double teaming but it’s Cade that gets caught in the jawbreaker, proving that Murdoch is more of a ring technician than his partner. Murdoch also breaks up the hot tag and hits a suplex for two. Jeff mule kicks Cade down but Murdoch breaks up the tag again. Man when that tag hits the roof is going to come off. Murdoch sets for the jump off the middle rope for the sake of jumping into boots, but he blocks the boots, bringing a smile to my face. Jeff makes the tag almost immediately thereafter and the pop isn’t as great as I was expecting.

Matt also cleans house (probably looking for drugs as well), destroying everything in sight. Cade is sent to the floor but the Twist to Murdoch is countered. Side Effect gets two instead as Cade makes the save. Murdoch hits a standing sunset flip bomb for two on Matt. Trevor’s fireman’s carry is countered into the Twist and Swanton, allowing Matt to get the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This was formula tag wrestling and it worked pretty well. The Hardy reunion didn’t do anything great but it gave both guys something to do for awhile and brought some credibility back to the belts for about ten seconds. Jeff would go on to bigger things of course, moving into the main event scene by the end of the year while Matt would move into the Smackdown midcard.

Umaga gets a pep talk from the McMahons. Shane says he’s ready. Vince says Shane should be ECW Champion but Shane says Vince should get the title instead. Vince likes the idea.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.

James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.

Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.

Edge is in the back and says he liked Cena and Michaels having an hour long match on Raw. Maria has a note asking how Edge won his first title, which he says was by cashing in MITB. Mr. Kennedy pops up as the guy that asked him. He’s also the current Mr. MITB and implies he’ll cash in tonight.

Video on The Condemned.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending here and is announced as being from Atlanta for a good reaction. These two had an impromptu match on Smackdown where MVP walked out. A quick Crossface attempt sends MVP to the floor and things slow down. Back in the ring MVP takes over with a headlock on the mat. Benoit bridges up into a backslide for two and then hits a belly to back suplex to break the hold.

The Sharpshooter goes on and MVP is in trouble. He makes the rope before sending Benoit into the corner. A boot to the back of the head takes Benoit down and it’s off to a cravate. Benoit fights out with elbows but walks into an overhead belly to belly for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans chant that MVP is a Power Ranger. Back up and MVP misses a clothesline, allowing the Canadian to hit Rolling Germans on the American.

He goes up for the Swan Dive but MVP hooks his foot before he can get up top. MVP sends him into the corner, further jarring the neck and getting two. Benoit gets a quick Crossface but MVP grabs the ropes. Back to the neck lock but MVP gets caught using the ropes. A big kick to the head puts Benoit down but he snaps off more Rolling Germans to take over. He tries the Swan Dive but it hits knees to change momentum again. MVP hooks a half crab for some reason but it’s broken pretty quickly. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a suplex into a small package to retain.

Rating: C+. The constant neck holds got repetitive but the match itself was pretty good. MVP would get the title the next month in a 2/3 falls match and would hold the title for almost a year. Benoit wouldn’t live through the end of summer of course, and it’s scary to think that he was in the ring as a champion so close to the end of his life.

Cena says nothing before Orton pops up and talks about how similar they are. He wants an alliance tonight but Cena makes gay jokes. Ron Simmons appears, next.

We recap the ECW Title match but there isn’t much to say here. Lashley beat Umaga at Wrestlemania to have Vince’s head shaved. You know this isn’t cool with Vince so tonight it’s about revenge.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.

Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.

Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.

Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.

Vince and company celebrate for awhile before heading to the back and laughing at the ECW Originals.

We recap Taker vs. Batista, which is just another rematch, but this time it’s Last Man Standing. The Mania match was good so hopefully this is too.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending here. Apparently he’s never lost a last man standing match. I wouldn’t have guessed that. He also might have a bad right arm coming into this. The chokeslam is broken up but the flying clothesline takes Batista down. Old School hits and Batista is in trouble early. Big Dave comes back with something called a powerslam for about four.

Out to the floor and Batista sends him into the barricade to take over. Scratch that as he gets sent into the steps, but Taker’s arm isn’t holding up that well. Batista has a bunch of tape on his leg so Taker has a target as well, making the arm not as much of a handicap. Taker puts him on the apron and drops the leg for a five count or so. Now Undertaker gets sent into the steps but no one can follow up.

They head back into the ring with Batista going up, only to get dropped by an uppercut. A superplex puts Batista down but Undertaker can’t get up either. Batista gets a seven count and they slug it out. A big clothesline puts Taker down for eight, followed by a slam and legdrop from Batista for about six. Taker sends him out to the floor and starts setting up the announce table. Batista avoids the pain though by sending Undertaker into the barricade.

Big Dave sets for a powerslam through the announce table but gets caught in a Russian legsweep, sending him into the barricade for about seven. Undertaker hits him in the face with the steps and Batista barely makes it to his feet. It’s table time with Batista being placed on the table as Undertaker walks the barricade for a legdrop through Batista and the table. That looked pretty awesome but it only gets nine. Something, probably the steps, busted Batista open.

They head back in and Batista hits a spear out of nowhere, getting an eight. Batista snaps and hits three spinebusters but that gets nine as well. The Bomb is countered and Undertaker hits a chokeslam to put both guys down but Batista is up at nine to keep things going. Taker channels his inner idiot and pounds away in the corner, and he deserves the Batista Bomb that he gets.

That still doesn’t end it so Batista cracks him with a chair. Taker backdrops him onto the chair, followed by the Tombstone which STILL only gets nine. The look on Taker’s face is great. They head back to the floor and Taker punches him up the ramp. Batista pounds away at him but the Bomb attempt is countered. Taker tries to throw him off the stage but Batista escapes and spears him off the stage into the electrical equipment, causing an explosion. The match ends in a draw as no one can get up in time.

Rating: B. The ending was a cop out and got booed out of the building, but the rest of it was pretty good. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything and it really became a rehash of the match at Mania, although with a counting system instead of pins or submissions. Still though it was entertaining and felt like a big time match. They would have even more matches that were good too, so this was a good second match in the series.

Cena dominates the texting poll of who will win, getting 50% of four options. Shawn got 34%, meaning that Edge and Orton combined for 16%.

Music video recaps the main event. Cena is defending against Shawn, Edge and Orton. Shawn was his opponent at Mania and Edge/Orton are here because DX is injured so they have no one to face.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton

One fall to a finish. This is coming off the one hour match between Shawn and Cena on Raw. Shawn talks trash to Cena to start and it turns into a four way argument. Rated RKO yells at the other two until the other two hammer Rated RKO to the floor. Shawn immediately chops Cena into the corner. John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex for two.

The other two come in and have a staredown of their own. They slug it out with Orton dropkicking Edge to the floor. Cena throws him back in and this time it’s Orton going to the floor, only to be beaten up by Shawn on the other side of the ring. All four head outside now and it’s only Edge on his feet. Shawn slams him down and goes into the ring for a moonsault onto all three guys. That always looks great.

Shawn and Edge get back into the ring but they clothesline each other. Cena comes back in and hits a double top rope Fameasser to take both guys down, getting two on Edge out of it. He goes to cover Shawn but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. Orton throws out the guys with long hair and hits the backbreaker on Cena for two. A knee drop gets the same and Orton sends Cena shoulder first into the post.

Cena goes to the floor and it’s Shawn taking his place. Forearm and nip up follow but Edge spin wheel kicks him down for two. Orton is mad at Edge now but they team up to put down both guys. Cena gets sent into the table and it’s 2-1 on Shawn in the ring. They both grab a leg and put on what I guess you would call a double half crab. With Shawn in trouble, Cena comes in to take out both guys and save Shawn.

Cena cleans house and hits various signature moves on various opponents. Edge takes the Protoplex and Shuffle after everyone else has been shouldered out. Shawn Orton pull Cena out to the floor and send him into the post, followed by Shawn putting Orton into the same post. Shawn loads up a piledriver onto the table to Orton but Edge cracks him with a chair to break up it. Orton gives him a thumbs up and takes a chair shot for his efforts.

Edge comes into the ring and tries to use the chair on Cena but gets caught in the STF instead. Edge makes the rope and Orton comes in to replace him in the same hold. Shawn comes back in and almost gets caught in the STF but instead it’s a small package on Cena for two. Shawn clears out the ring other than Cena who takes the top rope elbow for two. He loads up the superkick but has to dodge an Edge spear. Edge goes down and the top rope elbow hits him as well.

Orton comes in for the same move but Cena breaks it up before Shawn can jump. Cena tries an FU on Shawn off the top but gets caught in a double electric chair drop off the top with Shawn crashing even harder. Edge and John are the only ones left in the ring but all three of the FU attempts fail. Orton and Shawn come back and it’s an RKO for Michaels. That gets two as Cena saves, as does the Edgecution on Cena. Everyone but Shawn tries finishers on everyone but only Edge hits a spear on Orton. Cena FU’s Edge and gets superkicked onto Randy for the pin. That was a great finish!

Rating: B+. I was really getting into this at the end and Cena getting superkicked down into the pin was a great way to keep everyone looking strong. The ending was so fast that I gave up trying to keep up with everything that was happening. It didn’t come off as a huge main event but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to. Very good stuff here though and everyone came off looking great.

Shawn yells at Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. DANG this was a solid show. When you have six matches on the card and no filler, it means the matches all get time and are able to develop. Also when the worst match is a good one, it’s hard to call it anything but great. The ending to the main event had me glued to the screen, which is saying a lot when I already knew who was pinning who to win it. This was a great show and well worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2006
Date: April 30, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can’t believe I just typed that. Since I started these reviews I knew this would be the final PPV I would do for one simple reason: it’s the only PPV I’ve ever attended live. I graduated high school around this time so it was kind of a gift to myself. I went with a friend of mine and sat in the upper deck to watch this show and I’ll never forget it. This is actually the first time I’ve seen the show in full since the night it aired, so this is going to be an interesting experience. We’ve got Vince/Shane vs. Shawn/God tonight as well as Cena defending against HHH and Edge in the main event. For the last time on an old PPV, let’s get to it.

As a rare bonus, I’m throwing in the match from Heat.

Rob Conway vs. Goldust

This was in essence our dark match but it aired on WWE.com as well so it’s not a big deal. Conway was doing a Buff Bagwell style gimmick at this point. The announcers waste their time by trying to come up with stupid nicknames. The guys talk some trash before Goldie takes over with some rights. Goldust freaks Conway out with his usual antics and things slow down already. Conway comes back with some basic offense and gets two off a whip into the corner.

A clothesline puts Goldust down and it’s off to the chinlock. Yes a chinlock two minutes into a three and a half minute match. They hit stereo crossbodies to put both guys down for another spot you wouldn’t think was needed in a match this short. Conway wins a slugout and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. He ducks his head off a whip though and Goldie hits that uppercut of his. Goldust starts his comeback and takes him into the corner for ten punches. A powerslam gets the pin for the human Academy Award.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. No one cared about this but then again it was a match to get the crowd warmed up. Conway tried and was a big deal in OVW so he was kind of a hometown boy but his gimmick killed him. Goldust did his thing which wasn’t really intimidating anymore but no one had cared about him for the most part in years. Nothing too bad due to the length but nothing good either.

The opening video is about the two main event matches. Vince and Shane are beating up Shawn because Shawn beat him at Mania and Vince went insane. The title match is a rematch from Mania with Edge thrown in.

I would have been sitting in the upper deck opposite the cameras on the right hand side.

Chris Masters vs. Carlito

These two were partners for awhile but have since had a parting of the ways. Carlito turned on him just after Mania, hitting him with a Backstabber. He would be your face in this match. They slug it out to start with Masters taking over. It’s so weird to hear about how the Kentucky Wildcats play in this arena. I would graduate from high school in the same arena in less than a month.

Carlito comes back with right hands but gets backdropped down. The announcers talk about God’s in ring debut tonight as Masters gets two. Carlito throws on the Master Lock (you read that right) and Masters bails to the floor, where Carlito hits a good looking dive. Back in and Carlito pounds away in the corner at a very fast pace. No counting in Spanish from the Lexington crowd though so they officially suck.

Masters counters a rana into a buckle bomb and Carlito is in trouble all of a sudden. Off to a neck crank and Masters breaks up a comeback attempt by Carlito. Masters clotheslines him down and things slow down even more. Here comes the Masterlock but apparently shouting the name of the move you’re about to use is a bad idea as Carlito counters into a rollup for two.

A springboard reverse elbow puts Masters down and it’s apple time. Carlito throws it to him and dropkicks the knee out to take over even more. Masters never was the smartest guy in the world. Carlito fires off some left armed clotheslines and a dropkick for a delayed two. Masters sends him into the corner but a belly to back superplex is broken up. Carlito “hits” a moonsault press for two. Masters was halfway down before Carlito even touched him. Masterlock is countered by sending Masters’ face into the buckle and the Backstabber with feet on the ropes gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This felt like a long Raw match. Carlito wasn’t that popular but they were trying with him I guess. It’s certainly not bad but it was very dull, which is the exact opposite of what you’re looking for in an opener. I didn’t really like this one live and it didn’t work any better six years later.

Outside shot of Rupp Arena. I live five minutes away.

Maria screws up the result of the previous match and we get some fans’ opinions on the winner of the triple threat later. Lita interrupts and makes fun of the Lexington fans. Maria implies Lita is….well that she enjoys men, so Lita threatens her. Tonight after Edge wins, it’s a private sex celebration.

Umaga vs. Ric Flair

Umaga debuted less than a month before this so this is his first real match. When you need a new kid tested, call in Naitch. Flair jumps him in the aisle and that goes badly for him. We go into the ring for the bell and Flair gets pounded into the corner. Flair pokes him in the eye and hits him low a few times, only to get chopped right back down.

The running corner attack (NOT FROM RIKISHI YOU NXT ANNOUNCERS) misses and we go to the floor. Umaga misses a charge and hits the post and it’s time to go after the leg. The Figure Four is broken up and Flair is put in the Tree of Woe for a headbutt. The running hip attack sets up another headbutt which sets up the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a total squash for Umaga but the idea here was perfect: Flair made Umaga look like a monster here which is exactly the point of something like this. Umaga would be a destruction machine, not losing until January when Cena finally put him down with a rollup of all things. This was a textbook example of how to put someone over using a legend.

Vince is in the back when Shane comes in for a pep talk. Vince insists it’s a tag match and not a handicap match. Also, let him take care of God. There’s nothing God can do that Vince can’t do. To prove it, he takes Shane’s bottle of water and pours it in on the floor. He stomps on it and declares that he’s walking on water. Now he takes a well placed loaf of bread and a fish. He throws the fish away and breaks the bread and throws it away. Someone off camera throws a lot of bread at him as well as the fish. It’s a “holy mackerel.” Shane drinks the water and now it’s purple. Get it?

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish for the title. Mickie is a psycho that is obsessed with Trish. She won the title from Trish at Mania using some VERY un-PG actions. Mickie was HOT as the psycho.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

The girl I went to this was a lesbian so this was by far her favorite match of the night. Trish is in skin colored attire trimmed with Kentucky Blue. Nice touch. Actually that’s a bit lighter than Kentucky Blue but close enough. Trish grabs a quick rollup for two and blows a kiss. She Ma-Trishes out of a clothesline and fires off forearms. A HARD bicycle kick puts Mickie down and there’s a Thesz Press off the apron by Trish. That gets two back in the ring and we get a great upskirt shot of the champ.

Trish pounds away in the corner but gets dumped over the top to the floor, dislocating her shoulder in the process. You can see the bulge in her back where it’s not in place. The referee throws up a quick X and Mickie covers a bit. She chokes away for the DQ after like four minutes.

Rating: N/A. I can’t give this a fair grade as the injury derailed it maybe two minutes in. The shoulder injury was SICK live as you could see it out of joint on the big screen and the crash that hurt it was terrible looking. Trish would be out for about two months because of this which is a shame as this was one of the best Divas feuds in years. Also, as someone that has seen these girls up close, cameras do not do them justice. They are stunning in person, as are most of the Divas.

Maria corrects her mistake about Masters earlier and brings in Shawn. He says God is with him as always and he knows it’s a handicap match.

Money in the Bank Briefcase/Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

It’s winner take all with Rob holding the case and Shelton holding the title. Shelton takes him to the mat to start and rides Van Dam a bit. The fans are completely behind RVD, namely because this is during the opening part of Shelton’s heel run. Shelton backflips out of a wristlock to show that he can hang with Rob in all of the high flying stuff. RVD gets his rolling cradle for two and Shelton bails to the corner.

Shelton keeps getting frustrated and heads to the floor for a breather. Back in and Benjamin pounds him down and fires off some forearms. Rob will have none of that and kicks Shelton down. The champ (Shelton) bails to the floor again to avoid Rolling Thunder so Rob dives to the floor to take him out. Shelton runs back in and hits a sunset bomb to the floor to take over again.

Back in and Benjamin works over the back before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the spine. Rob quickly escapes that but gets caught by a knee lift for two. Back to the chinlock which might be a choke. Not that it matters as Rob makes the rope. Rob fights up and tries Rolling Thunder but Shelton catches him in a Samoan Drop in a SWEET counter. They go up and Rob knocks him off the top, but Shelton JUMPS up the corner (not runs the corner. He JUMPED from the mat to the top rope and superplexes Rob down for two.

Off to a kind of rear naked choke which is broken up again. A spin kick takes down Shelton as do some clotheslines. Van Dam kicks him down a few more times and FINALLY hits Rolling Thunder for two. See? Build it up, then pay it off. Not that hard. Split legged moonsault out of the corner gets two. Shelton counters the monkey flip but another spin kick puts him down. Five Star misses and Shelton hits a DDT for two. Actually make that six as it’s three two counts, the third having feet on the ropes.

Shelton goes to the floor for no apparent reason. Oh ok he’s grabbing the briefcase. Rob goes to the floor after him but gets knocked down quickly. Back in and Shelton hits a top rope cross body which Van Dam rolls through for two. Dragon Whip misses Van Dam and he hits a rana to take Shelton down. Shelton goes for the case and there goes the referee. Rob ducks a shot and hits a van Daminator with the case. Five Star gives Rob the title.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match and the Five Star absolutely has to be seen to be believed. He didn’t hold the title long but he would cash in the case in about a month and a half for the WWE Title at One Night Stand. Shelton never got back to the point he was at a year before this, which is a shame as he was on fire at that point. Good match here.

We recap Kane vs. Big Show. They were tag champions until Kane started hearing voices that said May 19. The reason for this would never be explained but it would be the date See No Evil came out, as well as the date that it was revealed that Undertaker lit the fire that killed his parents. It might not have been that but it was something related to it. This would result in a fake Kane in the mask feuding with real Kane without the mask. In short: it was ridiculous.

Big Show says Kane has a movie coming out on May 19^th and he needs to get over whatever issues he’s got going on. Kane attacked Big Show recently and Show’s eye is messed up, so tonight it’s an eye for an eye.

Kane vs. Big Show

Kane jumps him before the bell so Show GORILLA PRESSES him. That is SCARY power. Show charges into a boot and Kane goes for the eye. They go to the floor and as they get back in, Kane sends him into the post to take over. Some choking and a corner clothesline hit Big Show and with a loud whisper of GO DOWN, another clothesline puts Show down. Show slams him down but misses an elbow drop, allowing Kane to work on the arm.

The arm work goes on for awhile with Show on his knees. While in that position, he’s up to Kane’s shoulder. Kane goes up but jumps into a fallaway slam as Show takes over. A corner charges hits and Kane is in trouble. The chokeslam is countered into what was supposed to be a DDT but was rather an arm on Show’s back that he fell down from. A big boot that literally has four inches between itself and Kane’s face gets two.

JR is calling it an ugly match which is the code for “we know it sucks too”. Powerslam gets two for Show and he goes after the eye. Kane blocks that and kicks Show in the head, sending him out to the floor. And now we bring out the suck, as the arena goes red and Kane’s voice fills the arena, talking about May 19. Kane freaks out and has a bit of a fit on the mat. Show is concerned about him so he grabs a chair and blasts Kane in the head with it to knock him out. The match just ends.

Rating: F. There’s no other way to put it. The premise was stupid, the match SUCKED with some of the worst looking miscues I’ve seen this side of a Divas match, and the ending was ridiculous. The live crowd thought the match sucked, but MAN watching this again shows me what this match was: it wasn’t just bad. It was REALLY bad. These two can never have a good match together it seems.

Candice Michelle has a chest cold and goes to Vince to heal it because he’s God. Vince puts his hand on her chest and prays for her in a parody of a spiritual healer. Candice sounds like she’s having an orgasm. This is so stupid I can’t comprehend it. The arena hated it too. Shane comes in to take Vince away and he’s annoyed.

We recap the “tag” match. Before Mania, Shawn told Vince to get over Montreal so Vince declared war on Shawn. The idea is that Shawn is a Christian but he has to resort to levels he doesn’t want to in order beat him, which he did at Wrestlemania. Vince created his own religion: McMahonism. This resulted in some skits in a church which reached new levels of bad taste. Vince made a “tag” match between himself/Shane vs. Shawn/God. I was really worried about what they were going to do for God here.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

The Squad put the McMahons on their shoulders with the man that would become Dolph Ziggler cheering the loudest.

Cena, drawing mostly boos, says that he doesn’t have to get pinned tonight so the wins HHH has gotten over him lately don’t matter. He’s heard everything lately and the fans are divided. The silence is the voice of the people that want Edge to win the title. The cheers are for HHH, but there’s one voice that will stand tall at the end. That would be the voice of Lillian Garcia who will declare Cena still WWE Champion. I missed most of this promo the first time as I was watching what was being set up in the ring.

It’s time for Matt Striker’s Classroom because we can’t fill in a three hour PPV with just Raw matches. Striker says that there’s another miracle tonight: there’s an intelligent person in Kentucky. He talks about what Kentucky is known for: illegally recruited basketball players and fried chicken. It’s not known for its education though, but he’s here to remedy that. Striker brings out the best educated person ever from Kentucky: Eugene, who was mentally slow. Literally, that was his character. His music was very catchy though.

Striker calls Eugene proof that you shouldn’t marry your sister. Eugene may be the smartest person ever from Kentucky but Striker doesn’t think he can even spell his own name. He hands Eugene a piece of chalk and asks him to write it on the chalk board. Eugene writes that Striker enjoys human waste. Striker criticizes the grammar and punctuation, but Eugene is picking his nose. He starts to eat it but Striker stops it. I think you all know what’s coming, and there it goes into Striker’s mouth. Eugene stuns him too. This would result in a match a few weeks later on Raw which Striker won.

We recap the world title match. Cena beat HHH at Mania to retain but HHH said he wanted another title shot. Edge came out and said he earned the shot by beating Foley in their famous hardcore match. The solution is of course a triple threat match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Edge

Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. HHH is the huge crowd favorite. The girl I was with was a huge Cena fan so I was for Edge all night. Well I liked Edge so it wasn’t completely because of her. Edge tells the other two to go at it and heads to the floor. That’s cool with HHH and Cena as they slug it out, won by the champion. Some shoulders take HHH down and there’s the release fisherman’s suplex for two. Edge makes the save and bails right back to the floor.

Cena punches the Game some more but walks into the high knee which gets two and some applause. Edge makes another save and heads right back to the floor. HHH and Cena finally have enough of the Canadian and they both go after him. Cena clotheslines Edge to the floor and takes turns with HHH ramming Edge into the announce table. This is awesome as it turns into a contest to see who can do it harder. Edge goes into the table about 10 times and looks mostly dead.

All three go back in but HHH throws Cena to the floor. Cena pulls HHH off the apron and rams his face into said apron. A top rope splash gets two on Edge and Cena loads up the Shuffle, only for Lita to pull the rope down and send Cena to the floor. HHH rams Cena into the steps and goes back in for a facebuster on Edge. The knee to the face gets two as does the spinebuster.

Edge counters a suplex and hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. HHH shrugs that off and puts on a sleeper but Edge reverses into one of his own. We have a Cena chant as he gets both guys up for the FU at once. That blew my mind at the time and he didn’t even hit the move. Edge gets off the top and spears Cena down while HHH is still in the FU position, giving the Game a Samoan Drop from Cena. Cool spot.

HHH and Edge head to the floor and HHH gets catapulted into the post to bust him open. Edge DDTs HHH on the table, leaving blood everywhere when the table doesn’t break. That made me cringe in the arena. HHH is COVERED in blood. Back in and Edge dropkicks Cena for two. He spears Cena in the corner but Cena counters the regular one into the STFU. Edge is about to tap but HHH pops up and blocks the hand from coming down and hits Cena in the head with the mic to break the hold.

HHH caves Edge’s head in with a chair shot, knocking him into the crowd. He heads back inside and walks right into the STFU just like at Mania. There is blood everywhere. HHH keeps his arm up (there need to be more arm checks from the referees. I miss those) and finally makes the rope. FU is countered into a Pedigree but that’s countered back into the STFU. Edge breaks it up and there goes the referee.

Cena tries to FU Edge from the middle rope but HHH gets beneath Cena to make it a modified Tower of Doom. Everyone is down so Lita brings in a chair. She charges at HHH with it but walks into a spinebuster which got a big pop in the arena. HHH gets the chair but throws it down. Instead he pulls out the sledgehammer but Edge spears him down. Edge gets the hammer but Cena loads him into the FU. HHH breaks that up with a low blow but the Pedigree to Cena is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better from this perspective as I wasn’t all that impressed when I saw it live. This was actually an awesome match with a great blade job from HHH and almost non-stop action. Cena getting another win over HHH was another big step in his push towards the top of the company as he wasn’t quite there yet. This was a great match and it really impressed me on a second viewing.

HHH blasts them both with the hammer and leaves to King of Kings to end the show. To this day I’m not sure why they went with that ending.

Overall Rating: C+. Leave it to me to go with right in the middle to end things. This show is a strange one as it’s barely a B-level show, but there are two very good matches on it, including what you could probably call a forgotten classic of a main event. The problem with the show is that the bad parts are VERY bad and they really bring the show down. That being said, it’s still the first and to this point only PPV I’ve attended live so I have to give it the benefit of the doubt.

That’s the end of WWE/F. This has an even longer history of PPVs than the other two companies (combined actually) and maybe it’s the fanboy in me, but I say they’ve done it best. WWF (screw those panda people. I grew up calling it WWF so it’s WWF) has mastered the art of putting together a major show. That being said, they often times forget how to do it and I’m sure you can name a ton of entries where they did just that.

On the other hand, they pulled off stuff like Wrestlemania X7 and Summerslam 2002 which put just about any other company’s stuff to shame. Over time they’ve had a ton of shows and therefore they’ve had a lot more practice to pull them off. The days of the Big Four are long gone and I don’t think they’re ever going to drop down below one a month again. That being said, it’s nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be but that’s another topic.

Overall, WWF has had better luck in my eyes on PPV, but they’re far from perfect. The Brand Split shows never were that good as they flat out did not have enough talent on each show to run full three hour PPVs. I’d love to see the In Your House idea come back as a mid level PPV that was only two hours but cost less money. That’s just one of a number of possible solutions that could work, but again I’m getting off track. Just like with the other two companies (ECW only had 21 PPVs so I’m omitting them), the WWF has had its ups and downs but when they shows are good, there’s nothing better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2012
Location: Mandalay Bay Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Money in the Bank is over and Cena is Mr. MITB for Raw. Tonight is the final show before the real big match of the month in the form of the 1000th Raw. Punk is still champion so it’s pretty clear that Cena vs. Punk is either going to be next week or at Summerslam, unless they throw us an unlikely curve ball. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He talks about how he loves Vegas because it’s the same place that he dropped his first pipe bomb right up there on that stage. Last night he went through a war and kept the world title, because he’s the best in the world, which is what he said a year ago. With the 1000th Raw next week, he has to flash back to the first Raw when he wouldn’t even get a chance to be on TV.

Cue Big Show, who Punk faces tonight. Show says he was inches away from winning the MITB case last night but the handle broke to give it to Cena. If Show had the case, he’d cash it in right now. Punk says Show almost won last night, but he didn’t quite do it. Show is a guy that breaks a lot of stuff but no one respects him.

Show laughs at the idea that people respect Punk, but that’s impossible because the people don’t respect themselves. If Punk left the WWE tomorrow, it would be a week before the people moved on to the next big thing. Show calls Punk a joke so Punk says Show is a well paid shell of a man that happens to be a giant. Show says that after Punk gets knocked out tonight, he might lose the title to Cena.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players

1. Why didn’t this match happen on the PPV last night?

2. Why did they have the #1 contenders lose clean last night if they’re getting the title match tonight?

3. Why should I care?

Titus and Kofi start things off and it’s quickly off to Young. Kofi fights them off and brings in Truth as things speed up. The Players get sent to the floor and Kofi hits a flip dive to take them out as we take a break. Back with Young holding onto Truth before it’s off to Titus. Kofi finally dives over to Truth and house is a little less dirty now. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on Titus and Little Jimmy gets the pin on him at about 7:15 total.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much here. Thankfully they didn’t change the titles after the Players got beat last night, but at the same time, they would have been the right choice for the titles now. It’s clear they’re putting no thought at all into this division but who cares anyway? They’re just the tag belts.

Daniel apologizes to AJ in the back when Eve pops in. Tonight it’s AJ/Bryan vs. Eve/???. Eve insults AJ and leaves. Bryan has something to say to AJ after they win tonight and he kisses her on the cheek.

TOUT IT OUT!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zach Ryder

Alberto jumps him to start and takes out the arm with a DDT. They go to the floor and it’s more arm work followed by the cross armbreaker for the pin at 1:33.

Alberto goes after the arm even more until REY MYSTERIO comes back for the save. By save I mean waiting on the stage and doing his full entrance, during which Del Rio could have ripped Ryder’s arm off and beaten him senseless with it. Rey gets beaten down for a second but hits a spinning headscissors and the 619 sends Del Rio running.

Heath Slater vs. various legends happened on Raw. This is really one of the moments they feature.

Heath Slater vs. Rikishi

Kish looks decent. Thankfully he’s wearing a t-shirt here which is probably a telling sign for him. Slater sings a bit, takes a superkick, the Stink Face and a Samoan Spike of all things. Rump Shaker ends this at 1:11. See, THIS is how you do nostalgia. Not by having Dusty and Piper come out every three months.

In a very cool moment, the Usos (Rikishi’s sons) appear in the ring to do the Too Cool dance with their dad.

Eve Torres/??? vs. Daniel Bryan/AJ

Eve’s partner is Miz. The crowd LOUDLY chants YES with Bryan in a cool moment. The guys get us going here. Bryan fires off some HARD kicks in the corner and it’s quickly off to the girls. Eve chokes away in the corner but AJ snaps and fires off a bunch of Bryan like kicks. Miz distracts the referee so AJ kicks him to the floor and looks all loony. Eve rolls up AJ but there’s no referee. Bryan reverses it and AJ pins Eve at 2:55.

Post match Bryan says he loves AJ and says he asked for her hand in marriage last week to become WWE Champion. Tonight though, he wants nothing. He gets on one knee and pulls out a ring. AJ says yes and they kiss.

Another Raw moment is when Rock threw the Smoking Skull belt into the river.

The wedding is next week. Dang they’re packing that thing.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

That’s quite the upgrade over Hawkins and Reks. Swagger jumps Ryback before the bell and hits the gutwrench bomb. Vader Bomb keeps Ryback down and there’s the ankle lock but Ryback shrugs it off. Swagger shoulders him down but can’t put the ankle lock on again. Ryback takes Jack’s head off with a clothesline and a BIG spinebuster followed by a a triple powerbomb. Swagger bails and Ryback stands tall. The bell never rang and there was never a match. Good looking beatdown though and it’s good to see Ryback getting beaten down a bit before making these comebacks.

TOUT IT OUT BABY!

Here are Ziggler and Vickie. Ziggler talks about how great he is and how he’ll be better than Bret, Rock and Austin. Vickie makes sure to say every name after he says it…..and here’s Jericho. Ziggler cuts him off before Jericho can say anything because this isn’t about Jericho. Ziggler says he won the match last night while Jericho didn’t. When is the last time Jericho won anything? Actually Dolph doesn’t remember either, but he does remember hearing Jericho talk about how great he is.

Ziggler talks about how all Jericho does is lose, despite being given more chances than anyone else. All Jericho does is lose because he’s all hype. Ziggler thinks Jericho is losing his touch, so here’s a Codebreaker for him. I think that’s a face turn for Jericho. Jericho never said anything and leaves.

TOUT IT OUT AGAIN!

We run down the stuff for next week: Bryan/AJ’s wedding, Rock live, Brock answers HHH’s challenge and DX reunites again.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

After Brodus’ entrance we’re told that Christian will defend the IC Title next week due to a poll on WWE.com. JTG actually gets an entrance. Great to see Brodus moving up the card like he has since the Show match. Usual stuff here with JTG going after Brodus’ still bad knee. Brodus comes back and splashes JTG for the pin at 2:30.

Vince was bald on Raw once.

CM Punk vs. Big Show

Non title here. Punk tries to move away from Show and stabs with kicks to the leg of the giant. Show gets his hands on the champ and chops him in the corner before running Punk over with a shoulder. They head to the floor and Punk is in big trouble. He escapes the shoulders of Big Show and rams the bald head of the Show into the post. Back inside and here come the kicks. Punk blasts Show a bit but gets shoved right back down.

Punk gets up a boot but jumps into a bearhug and then a slam. With Show firing away shots at the ribs, Punk jumps on his back and hooks a sleeper. That gets broken up by a side slam and Punk is still in trouble. The Vader Bomb misses and Punk tries some clotheslines. They only do so much though as a backdrop puts the champ down. Show loads up the WMD but Punk ducks and hits a high kick. Another high kick staggers Show and a third one knocks him into the corner.

The knee hits in the corner as does a second one. Punk hits a third one but the bulldog is countered. Show charges but a corner splash hits the post. Punk hits the top rope elbow but Show shrugs him off at two. The springboard dropkick lands in the chokeslam but Punk gets his foot on the ropes at two. Show is all ticked off now and he sends Punk into the corner to pound away on the ribs. And there goes the referee for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one for the most part until the ending. That being said, the ending wasn’t too bad as it was all to set up the post match stuff which is coming in a minute. There’s only so much you can do here though as the beating from Show can only be shrugged off so many times. I was digging the match though and it worked well.

Post match the beating continues and here’s Cena with the case. Show leaves but Cena wants a mic. He says that he’s cashing in……but Show cuts him off before Cena can say when. Show says Cena is cashing in right now because Cena hasn’t been champion in a long time. A referee runs out as Show says Cena would be a fool to not cash in now. He says there’s never going to be an easier win for Cena than right now, but Cena says no. Cena says that Punk has one week to prepare because it’s next week. As for tonight, his announcement is a case shot to the head of Big Show. Punk and Cena stare it down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t a great show but it had a lot of good parts to it. There is some potential in some of the stuff they’re talking about, but it’s clear that everything will go down next week. The Tout stuff gets annoying quick but at least it’s short I guess. Cena and Punk are going to clash and it’s going to be awesome, so we have that to look forward to also. Things are looking up a bit and that couldn’t come fast enough for this company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show before Money in the Bank and things are pretty well set up so far. We have Bryan vs. Punk for the title on Sunday and Cena vs. Show vs. Kane vs. Jericho in the world title match. We’re also two weeks away from the 1000th show so expect a lot of hype for that as is the custom on these shows anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video from last week’s shows, focusing on AJ/Bryan/Punk. This is longer than your usual opening video.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says she’s the guest referee on Sunday and she realizes she can affect the outcome of the match. That’s an overwhelming feeling, so she needs help introducing Punk. Cue the champ who wants to know what’s going on here. AJ says Punk showed his true feelings about her last week, saying that she needed help. She says she’s in full control of her mind and starts talking much slower.

AJ says that once Punk kissed her, she knew what she had to do. She gets all psycho looking again and talks about Punk’s eyes, which are currently glaring at her. AJ says those eyes send love into her heart and fill her with desire. Quote: “They turn me on.” Punk looks very uncomfortable with this. AJ says she knows what she has to do….and she gets down on one knee and proposes.

Bryan SPRINTS down the aisle and shouts NO. He says this would be the biggest mistake of her life and he can’t allow her to do this. Bryan talks about how Punk is playing her for the match on Sunday. He says he never stopped having feelings for AJ but Punk only cares about himself. Punk says Bryan knows nothing so shut up. Bryan tells Punk to prove it by saying I Do but Punk can’t do it. Bryan says Punk sees her as a special referee but Bryan sees her as a special person.

Daniel says he came here tonight not intending to stop a proposal, but to make one of his own. He gets down on one knee and asks AJ to marry him. Punk says hang on a second and says it’s a load. If he planned this, where’s the ring? Punk says he and AJ should go to the back and talk but Bryan starts yelling too.

Cue the Anonymous Raw GM who is in power tonight. Ok that was awesome. Cole is relishing the computer being back too. Tonight it’s a mixed tag with Punk/AJ vs. Bryan/Eve. Bryan says no because AJ is his partner but the GM says get over it. AJ says this is confusing and that they all need some time to think. The match is going to be good though because everything happens for a reason. AJ has a feeling she’ll walk out of the arena tonight with her future husband. LONG promo here but it got going eventually.

We recap Del Rio attacking and injuring Sheamus on Smackdown.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title of course. Swagger rams him into the corner to start but the Vader Bomb is caught in White Noise. Brogue Kick and we’re done at 54 seconds. You can’t say Sheamus isn’t efficient.

Del Rio is in the back in his car and says that Swagger is no Del Rio. On Sunday he’ll win the title. With that he starts his engine, so Sheamus kicks Swagger again.

Santino congratulates Ryder for winning the battle royal. Word is the Anonymous GM is in the building tonight so Sherlock Marella is going to find him.

Rock is confirmed for the 1000th Raw, live.

Dolph Ziggler/Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd/Christian

No intros for anyone here. Vickie is on commentary and Ziggler starts with Kidd. It’s quickly off to Christian who takes over on Dolph. The jumping back elbow out of the corner sets up a flapjack to Ziggler but it’s quickly off to Tensai. Sakamoto grabs Christian’s leg so Tensai can splash him in the corner and hit the backsplash for the pin at 1:30.

Post match Tensai powerbombs Kidd on the apron and hits a backsplash on the floor.

Cole talks about wanting the computer to be GM while Jerry wants Teddy to run Smackdown and Foley to run Raw. Cole gets upset and throws a drink at Lawler, only to be saves by an e-mail. Michael won’t read it so Jerry says that tonight it’s himself vs. Cole. Cole freaks out so another e-mail says that there will be a poll on WWE.com to determine if the match takes place. Ok then.

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew jumps him to start and goes up, only to jump into the headbutt. Big splash and we’re done at 36 seconds.

Santino accuses Jericho of being the GM, so Jericho accuses Santino of being the GM. Santino says no and leaves. Big Show comes in to talk about the tag team match tonight against Cena/Kane. Jericho talks strategy, but Big Show yells about how much his time in Jeri-Show sucked. He says for Jericho to stay out of his way tonight.

Another Raw Moment is Stephanie faking being pregnant to get HHH back. HHH found out and snapped at the altar while they were renewing their wedding vows.

Here’s Cena for a chat before the tag match later. He talks about how the match is going to be a spectacle and about rising above everyone else, but more importantly than that, it almost guarantees you a world title. This Sunday is about more than an opportunity though, because he’s going to do two things: he’ll stop Big Show and he’ll do whatever he has to do to win the match.

John Cena/Kane vs. Chris Jericho/Big Show

Good to see Kane and Cena have made up after Kane tried to take him out a few months back. Cena and Jericho start and John destroys the Canadian as is his custom. Off to Big Show whose chokeslam is countered. Cena immediately runs off and tags Kane which looked wrong for him. The monsters pound away on each other and Big Show takes over. Things slow way down as Show knocks Kane down and brings in Jericho. Jericho walks right into an uppercut and there’s the tag to Cena. Show distracts the referee, allowing Jericho to get in a kick as we take a break.

Back with Show running over Cena and chopping him in the corner. Cena tries the FU out of nowhere but can’t hold Show up. He does however manage a suplex and it’s off to Kane, only to have him walk into a side slam for two followed by a spear for two more. Off to Jericho who stomps away in the corner and chokes on the middle rope. Kane is in trouble as Show adds in a chop and we take a second break in the same match. Back with Kane hitting a side slam and making the hot tag. Cena cleans house and hits the AA on Jericho, but Show pulls the referee out…..and that’s a DQ at 16:40. How is THAT a DQ?

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part and the ending was terrible. I like not having someone in the match or lose here, but dang man, can we get a better ending than that? This wasn’t awful and it built on the PPV match a bit, but there was nothing to the match at all over than filling in a lot of time.

Show beats up all three guys with ladders post match. Cena comes back and beats up Show with the ladder.

We recap the opening segment, as in reshow it.

Eve says AJ needs to hear the words I Do tonight or she’ll snap. Eve says Punk has been champion for seven months and he’s been second fiddle to a bunch of people. It must be emasculating doing it to AJ. Eve leaves and Punk is upset.

Santino finds a phone but it’s Khali’s, who can’t speak much English.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

This is for the Smackdown world title MITB match. Cara hits the Tajiri elbow to start but Slater pounds him down. Off to a chinlock but Cara counters with his signature wristlock out of the corner. A springboard crossbody puts Slater down and the spinning mat Slam sends Cara to the PPV at 1:42.

Slater wants any former champion to come down to face him. Cue Bob Backlund in wrestling trunks, looking about 20 years younger than he is. Slater gets in some shots but gets caught in the Crossface Chickenwing. Slater taps, even though this wasn’t a match.

The fans vote to have the match with Lawler and Cole. Cole rants about it as we go to a break.

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Josh and Booker jump in on commentary. Cole tries to run but Booker throws him back in. Lawler puts him in an airplane spin and wins at 56 seconds. They spent ALL NIGHT building to this and it’s a one move match.

And never mind as the GM changes the decision because of Booker’s interference. Cue Santino who says the only place the GM could be is under the ring. E-mail says no he isn’t. There’s no one under the ring sending e-mails, but Santino thinks that sounds like a clue. Santino goes to find out who it is and he gets pulled to the mat. Jerry helps him….and it’s Hornswoggle under the ring. Horny hits Jerry in the shin and bites Santino, but he kicks Cole too. Tell me he wasn’t the GM the whole time. Please. I need to hear that right now.

Daniel Bryan/Eve Torres vs. AJ/CM Punk

The guys start it off and Punk fires off forearms. Bryan comes back with the kicks in the corner but Punk hits a leg lariat to take him down. AJ tags herself in and that means Eve has to come in too. AJ takes Eve down but Eve comes back. A flipping splash hits AJ’s knees though and AJ pounds Eve down again, followed by a running dropkick to the head. Eve goes to tag Bryan but Bryan drops to the floor. A rollup pins Eve at 3:18.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than the always hot Eve and the psycho AJ. I’m not sure how this builds up to the PPV on Sunday but I guess that’s what the post match stuff is for. Bryan’s actions don’t make much sense but that might just be AJ rubbing off on him. This was barely enough to rate.

Bryan tries to convince AJ to leave with him but Punk says Bryan is trying to use her. Punk says that he doesn’t care what this costs him, but he isn’t going to marry her. At least he cares enough to tell her the truth. AJ looks at him and fights back tears before slapping him in the face. As you would expect, she slaps Bryan too and chants YES to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They covered a lot of stuff here, but MY GOODNESS there were some big wastes of time here, namely the GM stuff. That very well may have been the worst show long angle in the history of the show, and that’s covering a lot of ground. There was some good build to the PPV, but dang man this was hit and miss all night. Also most of the matches being short didn’t help anything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the second half of the year now with Raw again. We have four MITB contestants so far and there’s a rumor of a fifth showing up. I believe it’ll be a former champion but it’s hard to say given how this company keeps its stipulations straight. Lesnar is supposed to be here tonight too so we’ll get more of him vs. HHH. This is one of those shows that is going to be used to build towards the PPV. Let’s get to it.

After more technical difficulties, here’s Cena to open things up. He talks about how last week was his crash course in MITB because you never know when someone is going to come and break things up. He’ll win the case and the title and all the stuff you would expect him to say. Cue Bryan chanting YES. Cena: “See? Even Bryan agrees with me.” Bryan says he’ll win the title at MITB so Cena won’t be the next champion.

Cue Punk who says he disagrees with Bryan’s claim that he’ll win. He asks people if they disagree with Bryan, getting a lot of YES chants. For some reason only Cena has had theme music so far. Punk says that Bryan’s ex-girlfriend will be counting the shoulders down, and then it’s Punk vs. Cena all over again. Cue Jericho (with music) who says he’s tired of people stealing his catchphrases. Bryan cuts him off and is told to shut up as only Jericho can say it.

Jericho welcomes us to Raw Is Jericho and says that after tonight no one will evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same again. He says he’ll win MITB and dares anyone to come out and say otherwise, and of course he’s Kane. Kane says otherwise in something that made me chuckle. Cue Big Show and it’s a big brawl. Kane beats on Jericho and Cena goes after Big Show while Bryan and Punk are both going to the floor. Kane goes after Big Show but Show knocks everyone down.

David Otunga/Cody Rhodes/Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Christian/Santino Marella

Christiana nd Young start things off and a middle rope missile dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Off to Truth for his first action in months after a broken foot. Young tries a right hand but gets gyrated at instead. Off to Kofi who hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Boom Drop is broken up by Titus who pulls Darren to the floor. Kofi dives onto Titus but gets clotheslined down by Young as everything breaks down.

We take a break and come back with Cody holding Kofi in a surfboard. AW is mic’d up now for some reason. Titus comes in and slams Kofi for two. Kofi gets in a shot and it’s off to Santino vs. Otunga. Santino hits that quick suplex and a Stunner for two. Everything breaks down again and the Prime Time Players walk off. Santino hits his usual and Cody walks out on Otunga. Cue Brodus Clay of all people as Santino loads up the Cobra. Otunga keeps trying to run but gets thrown into the Cobra for the pin at 6:24. Too short to rate given what we saw but this was organized chaos at its best.

Otunga takes a bunch of finishers post match and we get a big dance party.

Teddy (in charge tonight) is dancing in the back when Alberto and Ricardo come in. Alberto earned his one on one title match and he wants it by Jorge. The Board has said that Alberto gets his title match at MITB but tonight, Alberto has a surprise opponent.

Stephanie talks about her dad getting ready for the 99 Rumble. It was basically a Rocky parody mixed with a way to show off that Vince was in great shape.

Alberto Del Rio vs. ???

Cole talks about how the car was driven here from Alberto’s home near Mexico City. That makes me wonder: how does he get these cars everywhere? Does he have a big fleet of people driving/transporting them all over the country? If so….that’s kind of awesome. The fans GO OFF on Alberto with some Spanish swearing. Here’s the opponent.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Think Cara is popular in south Texas? Cole calls Mexican wrestlers lucha libres. Mike Tenay he is not. Del Rio jumps Cara as he comes into the ring and goes insane on him. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Del Rio destroys Cara on the floor and puts him in the armbreaker so Cara taps. There was no match.

Bryan is in the back and steals a flower from a random bouquet. He comes up to AJ and apologizes, even though AJ has Punk X’s on his hands. She says that’s sweet and of course has nothing to do with the title match at the PPV. Tonight she’s going to win and run into the arms of her soul mate. She destroys the flower and leaves.

Heyman is live via satellite instead of Lesnar being here.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tomorrow on Smackdown. The winner is next week’s GM of Smackdown. Ok then.

After a recap of the Heyman/HHH challenge to Lesnar, we’re told by Heyman that Brock will deliver his answer to HHH in person at the 1000th Raw. Lesnar wants to face HHH at Summerslam but not for the reasons people thing. HHH will do it because he needs money for the lawsuit. Also, it’s his exit strategy for his career, because after this HHH will never be able to wrestle again. After Summerslam, he can be the executive that everyone says went down in a blaze of glory.

Kane vs. Big Show later on in a No DQ match. Heaven help me.

Vickie Guerrero/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/AJ

This looks odd on paper but when you think about it all of the connections are there. The guys start us off after Sheamus puts AJ on the apron. Dolph dropkicks him down but gets launched into the air soon thereafter. A running ax handle gets two for the champ but Dolph takes him down into a chinlock. Sheamus breaks that up and hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but Dolph tags Vickie before it can hit. Sheamus kicks his head off to send him to the floor and AJ comes in. Shining Wizard kills Vickie at 3:27.

Rating: C-. This was VERY short but DANG that Shining Wizard was awesome. AJ continues to be insane but it looks like we’re heading up to the payoff at MITB which is the right play. This was barely long enough to grade and I’m not sure what the point was in basically destroying Ziggler like that. Still though, that Shining Wizard was awesome.

AJ does the YES chant and heads to the back. She finds Punk who is on the phone with his sister. He missed the match and AJ is crushed.

We get a video of Slater’s destruction at the hands of old people, leading to this.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

Post match, here’s DDP to a BIG reaction and a Diamond Cutter.

Video on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting sick/injured troops.

Kane vs. Big Show

This is No DQ. Show controls to start and sends Kane to the floor. He pulls Kane up from the floor BY HIS HEAD, onlyt o knocks Kane back to the floor again. Show misses a charge into the barricade but he throws Kane into the steps to take over. They fight over a chokeslam onto the announce table but Show superkicks him down instead. Show brings a chair in but walks into a DDT for two. The top rope clothesline misses but Kane grabs the chair. Show spears him down and chokeslams Kane onto the chair for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best possible idea for them: keep things short. This wasn’t horrible but I’m not sure what the point of the stipulation was. It came out of nowhere, but to be fair it probably made the match as watchable as it was. These two have never had good chemistry together so keeping it short was probably their best option.

Teddy runs into Eve in the back and she sucks up to him. Teddy gives her a nametag in a funny bit. She rips it up and runs into AJ, telling her to leave the mind games to the big girls and telling AJ to go sit in the corner and cry. AJ wants to know who Eve is going to brown nose next. Eve will do anything to get attention, so AJ says she’ll show everyone how to do just that.

DX invading WCW was a big deal as well. This one actually was.

Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and fires off the headbutts but misses a charge. Kidd rolls him up……AND GETS THE PIN AT 20 SECONDS???? WOW.

Tensai beats up Sakamoto post match.

Jericho and Bryan debate jackets and a catchphrase duel breaks out. YES vs. EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER is hilarious.

Punk tells Cena to follow his lead out there.

Tensai destroys Kidd in the locker room.

Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Punk and Bryan start things off. They speed things up of course and Punk takes control. He sends Bryan into the corner and it’s a double tag. Cena dominates Jericho as he is known to do, knocking him off the apron as we take a break. Back with Jericho getting two on Cena and taunting him for not being able to tag Punk. The Lionsault misses but Bryan breaks up the tag again.

The corner dropkick gets two for Bryan and it’s off to Jericho again. The dueling chants begin but Jericho blocks the fisherman’s suplex. The AA is countered into a DDT but Cena fires Jericho into the corner to put both guys down. There’s the diving tag to Punk, who comes in with a springboard clothesline to take over on the fresh Bryan. Powerslam gets two and Bryan gets put in the Vice. Jericho FINALLY makes a save but Cena fights him up the aisle and into the back.

Punk and Bryan are the legal guys left, as well as the only two still in the ring. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Bryan starts firing off the kicks and a big one to the head gets two. Bryan goes up but gets superplexed down for another two. And here’s AJ to skip around the ring. No one looks at her so she gets on the apron as Bryan fires off kicks to Punk.

No one looks at her still so she gets down as the guys hit cross bodies at the same time. AJ goes under the ring and pulls out….a table? She sets it up at ringside and very slowly climbs the steps. AJ goes up top but Bryan gets in front of the table. Punk gets up on the ropes to stop her as well, so she kisses him. Then she shoves him through Bryan through the table and starts a YES chant. The match ends at we’ll say 17:30.

Rating: B. The match was great and while the ending was confusing, it’s certainly intriguing. This certainly keeps things interesting as she still hasn’t picked anyone. She’s the most interesting character in the company right now by far, because in short you don’t know what she (AJ for you idiots out there) is going to do next. Good ending to a good match.

Overall Rating: C. The first hour was similar to having a blind monk with Parkinson’s Disease brand me with an iron while Chinese torture masters ripped out my fingernails. The second hour was better, to the point where I was really getting into things before the show ended. Kidd pulling off that upset was the perfect move as it gives him even more momentum going into the PPV. In short, very good second hour, pretty bad first hour.

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