Criteria here: I’m not including Divas matches, most of the Knockout matches, anything that’s really short (under 3 minutes or so) or whatever Sting and Jeff Hardy did at Victory Road.I’m going to go with Cena vs. Miz in the main event of Wrestlemania.  Not only was the match itself boring, but the ending was atrocious.  I said this in my review and in the Live Discussion of the show: They booked a Dusty Finish in the main event of Wrestlemania.  That isn’t acceptable to me.  This is Wrestlemania, not any other show of the year.  I hold it to a higher standard than a double countout and Rock suddenly having the power to make matches throughout the night.  This didn’t work for me at all and I remember thinking to myself “that’s how they ended it?” after the match and show ended.

Your picks?

Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We’re still stateside for this and it’s probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don’t mean anything and that’s fine. This is about the people in the audience and that’s fine. This was taped Sunday night so don’t expect any references to last night. Let’s get to it.

We’re in an arena this year.

The President gives his usual message about this show.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here’s the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be a lot lighter on the ratings tonight because the winning and losing isn’t the point. This is about the fans having a good time and they couldn’t have one guy go over cleanly here. They didn’t have a lot of options so there’s nothing wrong with what they did here. Decent match too.

Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There’s an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.

Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she’s beautiful.

Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.

Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.

Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.

A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn’t going to last long. There’s the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Slaughter being brought in was the right idea. He’s a character that it’s impossible to not like a little bit and for a patriotic show, you really can’t go wrong with him. This was short and there’s not much wrong with that. Although I’d question an AMERICAN character being a heel here.

Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.

Hugh Jackman loves the troops.

The Bellas visit West Point.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.

Celine Dion loves the troops.

George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.

Video on Nash vs. HHH.

Booker joins in on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan’s ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Intense match while it lasted and it sets up Booker vs. Cody even better for Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that match which really surprises me. I don’t think Booker will win the title but it should be an entertaining match at least as Booker is almost always watchable. This was just for the ending and that’s fine.

Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there’s a Spinarooni

Carson Daly loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs.

Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.

Robin Williams loves the troops.

The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They’re videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn’t have a video in this.

Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.

Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico

Rosa is with the non-champions and she’s still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there’s a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.

Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.

Nickelback performs again. This time it’s a new song called When We Stand Together.

Christina Aguliera loves the troops.

Here’s Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He’s in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can’t get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he’s Sheamus and he’s fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.

Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.

Regis Philbin loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs again.

Bradley Cooper loves the troops.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show

Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn’t legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I’ve ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here’s the big showdown.

Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.

Punk fights off Henry and here’s your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the standard finish for this show and that’s just fine. This is about giving the troops something cool to end things and they did that just fine. Cena, the military themed guy, ending things with a huge power move is perfectly acceptable. This was about exactly what you would have expected and that’s all it needed to be. Fine ending.

Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C+. I didn’t get into this one as much as I have in previous years. It just didn’t feel the same as it does when it’s outdoors. This felt more like a big commercial for TLC, which is understandable, but it didn’t quite click like most of the shows usually do. Still though, it’s fine for what it was and it’s not supposed to be anything serious. Not bad, but they’ve done it better.

Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix – Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry – AA to Henry

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What do you think about this?

I’m not sure how to take this yet.  Kane is one of my favorites, but I’m really not sure what the point is in having him (seemingly) come back as a heel.  It’s too early to tell obviously but this could be kind of stupid.  It gives Cena something else to do until probably the Rumble, but after that I’m not sure.

As for the mask…..why?  He had his greatest run without it and his second best run with the original.  This one now is like the one he had in 02-03, when he had his worst results (no world title).  Also, WE KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.  There’s my mystery to it at this point.

As for the talk of Kane vs. Taker III at Mania…..no.  ANYTHING but that.

Your thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

I’m a huge Star Wars fan. I love the characters, I love the stories, I love the themes, I love everything about it. When I was a kid I went to my uncle’s house one day and he was watching Empire Strikes Back. This was my first introduction to the series and I was immediately wanting more. It turned out that the reason the movie was on TV that day was because the films were being re-released into theaters. I was very lucky because the first time I saw the original three movies was on the big screen.

Then a few years passed and I heard about the Star Wars prequels. These would be three movies set before the original trilogy that told how we reached the events of the first three movies. My friends that were Star Wars fans were so excited they could barely contain themselves. My immediate reaction: why would I want to see a bunch of movies when I already know what happens after them?

That’s the problem I have with any prequel movie: we know that Anakin Skywalker goes to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader. We know that he’s the father of Luke and Leia. We know that Yoda goes into hiding. We know that eventually Vader turns back to good. In other words, we know the endings, so why in the world am I supposed to get interested in what else happens? At the end of the third prequel there’s a huge duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin. I know neither of them is going to die, because they’re in the next movies. Yeah the scene is really cool and it’s a great fight, but I’m not going to be on the edge of my seat, because I know no one dies.

Now what does this have to do with John Cena vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania 28? The answer is simple: why should I care about what happens to John Cena from the night the match is made until the bell rings at Wrestlemania 28? His ending is already set in stone. We know where his road leads and no matter what happens to him, he’s going to be in the main event in Miami on April 1, 2012. Why should I as a fan care about all these lesser matches and feuds that he’s in?

Now don’t get me wrong: his feud with Punk was very entertaining and I got into it big time. But at the end of the day, it’s really just giving Cena stuff to fill his time for the next year. This matches his matches really uninteresting unless you get something special like his feud with Punk. Cena could lose every match he’s in and he’s still going to be in the main event. There’s no way that’s going to change barring Cena having every bone ripped out of his body, burning the flesh and muscle that remains, and feeding the charred pieces to a little boy in Idaho.

There are other ramifications to this as well and we’ll start with CM Punk. Ignoring the fact that ratings haven’t done jack with Punk on top (it’s reality. Get over it internet fanboys), what incentive does Punk have to work hard this year? He’s not going to be in the main event of Wrestlemania, which is the point of any wrestler lacing up a pair of boots. There’s no point to having a big angle wasted on him, because he’s going to be playing probably fourth fiddle to Rock, Taker, and whatever Orton is doing. Want proof this is reality?

Back in the 80s and 90s WCW held their TV tapings about three months in advance. You would have shows taped passed the next PPV in the can on a regular basis. There were at least two instances that I know of where a title change was already booked before the champions that were taped losing the titles won them in the first place. Let’s say you’re one of those teams. What incentive is there for you to put on good matches and work on your craft if you’re destined to lose the titles on so and so date no matter what happens?

Another possible outcome of doing things this far in advance: what if something major happens that you have no control over? Again, look to the WCW tapings. The main event of Starrcade 93 was to be Sid vs. Vader for the title with Sid winning the belt. They taped weeks of stuff in advance of Sid with the title (yes they gave away the ending to the biggest show of the year months in advance. And people wonder why they went out of business), but a funny thing happened on the way to Charlotte: Sid never won the title.

Instead he took a pair of scissors and stabbed Arn Anderson with them, getting himself fired and basically thrown out of any major company for about two and a half years. That’s why Flair was thrown into the main event at the last minute. All of the material shot with Sid as champion was officially worthless so they had to just throw it away and start over, eating all of the costs. See how this could become a problem?

Imagine if the unthinkable happens and Cena or Rock is injured. After we pull Vince off every rooftop in the country, they would have to call in order, Austin, Shawn and HHH to come in and fill in the spot. All of those would be huge, but they wouldn’t be in the same league as Rock vs. Cena. That match has been built up for over a year by the time Mania rolls around and while it would be big, it would feel like a letdown. That brings me to my next point: guys like Austin.

People keep wanting to see Austin have one more match and they want it to be at Mania 28 against Punk or whomever. People that say this can keep dreaming, because there’s no way that he’s going to have his one last (yeah right) match on the same night that Rock makes his big epic return to face the biggest star of this generation in a showdown almost 15 months in the making. Austin is a smart man, and he’s too smart to try something like that.

The same goes for HHH. Do you think he’s going to have a big marquee match at Mania? Do you think it was a coincidence that he was gone for almost the entire build to Survivor Series? HHH is still viewed as a special attraction and he’s not going to go out there and waste one of the handful of big matches he has left when Rock is going to get 10,000% of the attention? Again, HHH is a smart man and he’s too smart to try something like that.

In summation, I’d think it was a bad idea to build up Rock vs. Cena for a year in advance. It’s going to draw a hue buyrate for Mania, but it would have done that anyway. It’s not like Rock has been around every week for the buildup or anything like that, so I really think that all the negatives I listed above outweigh the good things that a build like this brings with it.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two shows left before TLC and one of them is the Slammies so this is going to be a normal show by comparison. Last week’s show rocked so let’s hope this one can do the same. For some reason they’re trying to push the idea that all of a sudden Cena is having so many issues with the fans after saying for years that its their right. As usual, WWE doesn’t get that some people have no idea what they’re talking about. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to kick things off. He talks about last week with Piper and how the fans have a mixed reaction to him. He says that he knows the fans aren’t all in love with him, but without them, there’s no show. Without the fans, there’s no work. Therefore, every fan has earned the right to think whatever they want about him.

However, the thing that mattered last week was the slap to the face of Cena. He kind of drops that though and starts talking about CM Punk. He says that the only thing bigger than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania is Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. That brings out Del Rio. Oh geez not a #1 contender match between these two. Del Rio brings up the “If Punk gets disqualified he loses the title” thing from last week and shows the clip of the GTS to the exposed buckle last week.

That brings out Vickie with Ziggler. She says it should be Dolph that should get the title shot. I can’t really argue with that one. Dolph says he’ll be a dual champion and blah blah blah. Cena says Dolph is the Show Off now (because he heard Cole say it 25 times last week) but it should be Jerk Off. Ziggler says if the two of you want to have a #1 contender match for the US Title, go ahead. Cena says that the US Title shot belongs to Zack Ryder.

After Ziggler talks about how that’s a dead horse, here’s Miz because we don’t have enough people out there yet. We get some clips of Miz beating up Morrison and Truth, along with an announcement that Morrison has been released. Miz says that the Slammies are next week and he’ll be superstar of the year.

As he’s talking, here’s Johnny Ace who says he’s not boring. I had to rewind things because I dozed off there. Tonight there are going to be four matches, each pitting one of these guys against a Smackdown guy. The winners will ALL go to the WWE Title match at TLC. Oh wait not Cena because he’s in a special match called a “social experiment” which Ace will tell him about later. Miz’s match is right now against this man.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Basic start with neither guy really being able to take over. Orton tries to speed things up but Miz takes over with a Garvin Stomp and a running shot for two. Time for the chinlock and now we’re off to Twitterville. Orton makes his comeback and hits the powerslam. They head to the floor and Orton slams him again. Cue Barrett for the distraction at a count of eight and Orton goes after him. Miz wins via countout at 4:32.

Rating: D. Nothing match here which was only around to get Miz into the title match and have more development with Barrett vs. Orton. Once that match finally happens they have to have Barrett win to keep up his momentum. The match SUCKED though and was painfully boring overall. Nothing to see here.

Video on WWE Network. It’s coming in 2012.

Ryder wants to talk to Ryder about the petition and says it doesn’t matter. Cue Cena in Ryder gear who goes on a rant about the match that Ace has planned for him. He even makes a Back to the Future reference for some reason. The Social Experiment is a match with Ryder. Uh….ok? If Ryder wins, he gets a US Title match. If Cena wins, he’s in the title match at TLC.

Otunga says that it’s Nash vs. HHH in a ladder match. Why? Apparently there’s going to be a sledgehammer above the ring and whoever gets it first gets to use it. Nash is cool with that. Nash starts to leave and Otunga says Nash has a match. He doesn’t care who it is.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is all taped up from the cage match on Tuesday. Del Rio works over the ribs to start (psychology as always), even draping him over the top rope. And then the cross armbreaker ends this at 1:48. That’s pretty much a squash, but at least Bryan was injured coming in.

Tribute to the Troops is next week.

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix

If I didn’t write reviews for these shows, I’d be off to find a hot pretzel. We get a message from the heels but we get interrupted by a second coming video. He arrives on January 2, 2012. Ok then. And then announcers ignore it. Beth starts with Kelly and Kelly gets beaten down….and then Kelly hooks a small package for the pin at 1:10.

John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

This feels like a big match. Think about that for a second. Both guys are tentative to start. They fight over a long headlock and the fans are split as usual. Hip toss gets two for Cena. Notice something here: Cena is respecting Ryder and that’s the biggest rub Ryder can get. Ryder grabs a spinning neckbreaker for two. This is very slow.

A tornado DDT gets two for Ryder and he loads up the Rough Ryder. Cena ducks and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is countered and Ryder puts him in the corner. Broski Boot looks to set up another Rough Ryder but Cena catches him in mid air and the AA is enough for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C. The match was boring, but the important part is that they made Ryder look solid here. They needed to make sure that he saved face here and that’s what they did. Cena had to win here because Ryder would have been way over his head. Still though, dull match and i’m not sure why they did it.

Ryder is mad post match and Cena says hang on a second before running to the back.

Cena comes up to Ace and Otunag in the back. He shouts Otunga out and tells Ace to listen to the people and make Ryder #1 contender to Ziggler. Ace says no because Ryder blew it. Cena gets in his face and says be creative. Ace says Cena has to give up his title match at TLC. Cena isn’t sure of course but says he’s a ten time champion because he got opportunities along the way. Cena drops out and Ryder has to face….someone still. Ok then.

Kane is still coming again. That’s different than the Jan 2 thing. This video shows pictures of big named stars and Kane punching through a piece of glass. He puts the mask back on and opens his eye…then drops the mask which is on fire. It says his name this time. No date is given.

Otunga tells Robers to make this in essence a street fight.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry

I think I smell interference. Henry has a bad ankle/leg here. Ryder gets beaten down like a chump to start which to be fair, he’s in over his head. Ryder gets him down for a second and rams the leg into the post. Cue Cena who hits the AA on Henry and throws Ryder on top for the pin at 2:20.

Vickie says she can’t get the decision reversed. Oh and Ziggler has to fight Sheamus later.

Kevin Nash vs. Santino Marella

Nash hits a side slam to start. Cole: “One, two, kick out by Santino…for some reason.” Powerbomb ends this at 1:03.

Post match Nash picks up the hammer but doesn’t hit Marella with it.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Feeling out process to start until Ziggler hits a GREAT dropkick for two. Sheamus is like “Irish story!” and hammers away with the forearms to the chest. Ziggler hooks a chinlock and a Fameasser gets two. Ziggler chokes again but Sheamus fights back, hitting a forearm in the corner. He loads up the High Cross but Ziggler escapes and Sheamus hits the post. Here’s Ryder for the distraction so that the Brogue Kick can keep Ziggler out of the world title match at 4:32.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was nothing all that great. Still though, they didn’t really have a ton of time to work with out there. Ryder interfering was fine because it gives Ziggler a reason to want to beat him up at the PPV. This was more about a storyline than a match and that’s fine.

Rough Ryder to Ziggler post match.

Del Rio and Miz are in the ring and here’s Ace as well. He mentions Clay debuting but it hasn’t happened yet. Henry vs. Cena next week. Here’s Punk for the contract signing. Punk pulls the table back to him and says this is the biggest WWE staple cliché there is. They always end in a brawl (which he’d love to have trending on Twitter) and since there’s no such thing as creativity by Ace, he figured we’d have the first peaceful one of these since Mania III.

Punk tells Ace to play Jack Tunney so we can sign this and get to brawling. Ace makes it a TLC match at the PPV and Punk is cool with that. Punk runs both guys down and Miz says that he took Truth and Morrison out. Punk: “Like on a date? I bet it was to that new Twilight movie. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!” Funnier in delivery. Ace looks right at the camera and wishes Morrison the best in his future endeavors.

Miz says he’s a must see start, Punk says he doesn’t care. He’s not about TMZ but about being the best wrestler in the world. Alberto jumps in and says they’re crying too much. He says his usual stuff and Punk cuts him off, saying if Del Rio talks about destiny again then he’ll start drinking. Del Rio says just sign it and Punk wants to know if they can fight after that. Punk signs and I must have missed the heels signing.

Ace wishes them all luck and asks a WWE.com photographer in for a photo op. Punk: “EVEN YOUR CONTRACT SIGNINGS ARE BORING!” With that he blasts Miz and the brawl finally gets going. Ricardo is loaded into the GTS so Del Rio hits Punk low. Del Rio stops to move furniture around but Miz runs in and tries the Finale on Del Rio. Punk breaks that up and hits the bulldog out of the corner to Del Rio through the table. A GTS to Miz and Punk stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked the show tonight as it advanced the two title matches for the PPV. That really needed to happen and they got it done which is really all you can ask for from a show. The wrestling was kind of weak but they certainly pushed stuff tonight and the storylines are a bit more interesting now. Good stuff for the second week in a row from Raw. When’s the last time you heard that?

Results
The Miz b. Randy Orton via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
John Cena b. Zack Ryder – AA
Zack Ryder b. Mark Henry – Pin after an AA from John Cena
Kevin Nash b. Santino Marella – Jackknife Powerbomb
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

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The Bash 2009
Date: June 28, 2009
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot to say on this one. The main event is HHH vs. Randy Orton in a 3 Stages of Hell match for the title. This got a lot of ranting because it was more of the same two guys for like the 5th PPV in a row. We also have Punk vs. Hardy for the title and something I’m most interested in as Cena fights Miz. Miz had come to Raw in the draft and started imitating Cena in some hilarious stuff. Cena ignored him but is finally accepting the challenge here tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the main matches including Jericho vs. Mysterio in a mask vs. title match which I forgot to mention. Of course the most is about HHH vs. Orton but that’s expected I guess.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

Cena/Vince razor commercial. Be careful: cutting hair off your face could be un-PG.

Edge comes to see Teddy Long and complains about not being on the card. Somehow this takes like two minutes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

And if Rey loses he has to unmask forever….again. Does anyone else think some of Rey’s masks look like Klansmen hoods? This feud more or less brought the title back to life as it was the wrestler’s title again instead of just a stupid prop for guys like Santino. We’re told Rey has never wrestled a match without his mask and then are told he had to earn it after he started wrestling. I love continuity issues in WWE.

Jericho goes straight for the mask which is a very nice touch as instead of just trying to beat him he’s being pure evil and trying to humiliate and end Rey. I love that. Jericho does that slingshot into the bottom rope which is a nice move. All Jericho so far. He hooks a crossface chickenwing of all things which is a nice throwback.

You can tell these two have a lot of chemistry as they’re flowing very well. It’s odd hearing Ross clearly getting ticked off so easily as it’s clear he’s not liking having to more or less mentor Grisham when he thinks he should be the top guy. Jericho shouts at the referee to ASK HIM. Nicely done. Aww that’s so cute: they still think Rey won the Rumble and the world title. It never ceases to amaze me how they can’t tell him apart from Eddie. They look nothing alike.

Rey hits a seated senton to the floor but might have hurt his knee. He’s finally on offense though as he’d been dominated for about 6 minutes or so. Jericho catches a springboard into a powerslam. It’s always cool when wrestlers use something different than their usual stuff. You’re allowed to mix it up at times and it makes things better when you do so. Allegedly Rey has always been the smaller guy in every match he’s ever had. That’s not surprisingly actually.

Jericho gets the Walls, more or less guaranteeing a lack of a submission. When’s the last time he won a match with that? And shockingly enough Rey gets to the ropes. That move has less heat than Vickie’s vagina. 619 misses and Jericho takes his head off with a clothesline. He then blocks a rana into a powerbomb.

Rey has gotten blocked every single time here and it’s been great. Lionsault misses and I mean actually misses instead of him landing on his feet. Codebreaker gets two as the crowd is WAY into this and for good reason. Jericho and Rey go up top and Jericho just kind of falls backwards. Uh, ok? 619 hits but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Walls again. And of course they don’t work as we get a pinfall reversal sequence.

In a GREAT ending that throws back to the Extreme Rules match, Jericho rips the mask off again but Rey has ANOTHER mask on underneath so while Jericho is expecting him to stop dead he keeps going to hit the 619 and springboard splash for the IC Title. THAT is what I mean when I say great storytelling and psychology.

Rating: A+. This was a VERY well booked match that I’d bet a large sum of money on Jericho and Rey planning the majority of. The ending there was downright inspired and showed Rey outsmarting Jericho and capitalizing on it. The match being awesome helped a lot too as these two just can go out there and nail it every time with this being no exception. Screw it this is an A+.

We recap Trump buying Raw and having the commercial free Raw and tricking Vince into paying into giving him back his original money back doubled. That’s a great deal. This also started the guest host concept.

HHH is getting ready.

Jericho wants his rematch RIGHT NOW. Long says in a month it’ll be five years as GM. That’s insane when you think about how many GMs Raw has had and how Bischoff is the longest reigning one.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Great Khali, which more or less is Ziggler trying to get noticed and continuously hurting Khali with a chair or winning by countout or something like that.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a street fight for all intents and purposes. I love Runjin Singh. His sideburns have powers I think. Ziggler’s music is perfect. Actually make that perfection. Also he’s apparently moved from Hollywood, Florida to Hollywood, California. His look is great until his hair gets all puffy and then he looks like Curt Hennig which is a compliment.

Of course Ziggler gets beaten down early, including taking the chop that pinned Cena back in 07 or so but since Khali is a jobber to the stars now it’s just a regular move. Khali is just scary huge. I’ve seen him live and he’s absolutely massive. And then he chops the post to get himself in trouble. Dolph grabs a chair which is fine here and he wisely goes for the knee. At least he’s thinking.

We get the bowling shoe analogy about Khali and I roll my eyes. He’s 7’4 and 450lbs. What the heck are you expecting him to do? And here comes Kane for no adequately explained reason. Ziggler beats the heck out of Khali’s knee as Kane is coming and then Kane goes semi-Austin at Mania 17 on Khali. And then Ziggler gets the pin. This went nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard David vs. Goliath here and that’s all it was supposed to be. The key thing here is that Ziggler has a huge win by pinfall that in this match is perfectly legal. He’s never really gotten a big push, but he started feuding with Rey just after this so that’s something I guess.

Vince comes in to talk to Teddy and says he’s done nothing as GM. Apparently even Adamle was a better GM. The thing about Long is that he’s the only GM other than maybe Bischoff that seems like an actual bureaucrat which is what a GM is supposed to be. He’s an authority figure, not a fighter. I like him but that’s just me.

12 Rounds is coming to DVD.

Unified Tag Titles: Colons vs. Legacy

There’s something VERY sexy about the way Lillian says Carlito. The Colons are faces here and we’re on Legacy’s 9th theme song this month I believe, although they would wind up keeping this one permanently I believe. And here’s Teddy Long. He makes it a triple threat match, adding in the new team of Chris Jericho and Edge.

Unified Tag Titles: Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Colons vs. Legacy

The original two teams won’t let Jericho and Edge in to start which is a nice bit of thinking. Carlito and Ted start and Carlito does a gorgeous moonsault off the top. The team that speaks Spanish has the belts here. They’re trying to keep Edge and Jericho out of the ring, I’m assuming betting they’ll win if they get in, which is kind of odd for faces to be all scared like that. I think the fans are chanting for Christian of all people.

This is similar to the Horsemen/Dungeon of Doom match from Bash at the Beach 96 where Benoit and Anderson knew the Giant would destroy them if he came in so they wouldn’t let him in. It made sense and this does as well. Primo gets a nice rollup on Rhodes for two. It’s so strange hearing Orton talked about as being so hated a mere year ago and 9 months before he was the hottest thing in the world. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special that looks awesome.

The fans love Edge here which is rather odd indeed. Jericho takes Primo out with a Codebreaker and we have Edge vs. fired guy. Carlito misses it though and Rhodes gets a backstabber. A spear gives the Canadians the belts after being in the match all of 20 seconds combined. As I type that, Lawler says it. At least I wasn’t imagining it.

Rating: B. While the wrestling wasn’t anything spectacular, the thought process here was perfect. They planned this one out very well and it made perfect sense which is a great thing in my eyes. They knew they couldn’t stop Edge or Jericho so they kept them out as long as they could. That’s smart booking and it worked just fine.

Ad for Night of Champions, which we’ve already done.

Orton yells at Legacy for losing the title match but says the important thing is keeping the WWE Title. DiBiase gets on Orton for not caring about them.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded very painful indeed. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this.

Do not try this at home. Try it at the Supermarket.

We recap Punk vs. Hardy, which I did like 3 days ago so go find the Extreme Rules review so I don’t have to type it again. Punk used MITB to steal the belt. There you go you freaking SLACKERS. Punk’s reasoning really was great: I did this before and you cheered. Now you boo. I love that.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Jeff is paintless. Well sweet goodness. Punk starts by doing one of the worst spot calls I’ve ever seen. He has a headlock on and leans over to Hardy’s head and can be heard whispering. Wow. Well at least you couldn’t hear him, unlike at the 99 Rumble where HHH was heard shouting IF I THROW YOU OVER CAN YOU HOLD ON?

Jeff has to start his own chant. That’s rather funny but it dies before I laugh. Oh great: poker analogies. That’s exactly what I want to hear. GTS is reversed as you would expect it to. Punk is dominating here and puts on a figure four headlock. That’s not one you see every day. Or night which is the time most wrestling shows occur. The Whisper in the Wind is freaking pretty. It truly is.

This turns into a striking match which of course Punk dominates but the “Twist of Fate” ends that. Swanton misses though as Punk sits up. Why he doesn’t just lay on him is anyone’s guess. I’ve never liked that hitch in this guy’s count. It’s very annoying. Jeff sets for the Swanton, which is clear because he shouts SWANTON, and it gets the pin. Shame Punk’s foot was under the rope so they have to wave it off.

Punk goes for GTS and Hardy elbows out of it, but Punk takes one in the eye. And the referee checks it, so Punk kicks the referee to get the DQ. Hardy’s look is great as he just looks completely crushed and looks as if he’s thinking are you freaking kidding me? Or maybe he’s wondering where his crack pipe is. It’s hard to tell with him. Post match Hardy yells at Punk that he did it on purpose and here they go again.

Rating: B. Good match here but it was all to set up the angle at the end which began his heel turn which made him into what he is today. This was a good match though as these two had solid chemistry together and they made things work well for the ending. I liked it, but then again I’m a huge Punk fan.

The Colons are ticked at Teddy over the title thing, which of course makes sense. This is pointless.

Orton is on the phone and is trying to get hold of Cody.

We get clips of Rev Theory doing a concert for the fans today. That’s kind of cool.

We recap Miz vs. Cena, which was a great setup for a feud with Miz constantly claiming he was winning matches when Cena didn’t show up to answer his challenges. The key thing here was Miz never once came off as cowardly here. He called out the top dog and never once looked back. That’s all you can ask for and people actually wanted to see this match. I certainly did.

The Miz vs. John Cena

This is Miz’s first major singles feud as he and Morrison had just recently split so he really did start at the top. The fans are rather split here which is a nice sign. Cena is just doing very basic stuff here and it’s working quite well. Cena goes for a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. He snaps up and shakes his head. Sure why not.

Miz works on the neck which is still hurt from Batista apparently. Miz gets some control in actually which is the best thing he can do. And the Cena fights back and the usual stuff ends it. It was short and not terribly painful.

Rating: D. That’s just for the wrestling mind you as it was more or less a Raw match and nothing more. Now when this first happened, I hated it. However since then I’ve cooled down on it a good bit. This wasn’t what I wanted, but it was fine. Remember that this was Miz’s coming out party so he needed to look good. This wasn’t as bad as it came off as back then, but that could be because Miz has done very well since then. Bad match, but Miz came off pretty well as far as credible goes.

We recap HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other and it’s about the McMahons. Yeah that’s all there is to it more or less. It was such a boring feud as no one cared for the most part as they were looking for these epic matches but they never came off as such. That and three Last Man Standing matches are about as much overkill as you could possibly have. Ok we’re at three minutes for this stupid video package now. WE GET IT! We also get Vince announcing the match for the fourth time.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is champion. First fall is regular, second is falls count anywhere, third is a stretcher match which is stupid but whatever. Cole thinks this is more or less a 2/3 falls match. WHAT ANALYSIS! They tried forever to get this feud to work and it just never really worked. They of course start all physical and such because they HATE EACH OTHER. Yeah even I can’t take this match seriously at all.

Stephanie is going to be out of a job soon with how hard the announcers are sucking HHH”s balls. The first fall here really does mean nothing because it’s not going to end the match. That’s the problem with 2/3 falls matches in general: rarely do they not go three falls so you don’t have to pay attention to the opening part. It’s the same thing with an iron man match. And HHH cracks Orton in the head with a chair for the DQ then hammers him with it like Austin on Rock.

Pay no attention to the fact that it’s falls count anywhere and not a street fight so that should be another DQ but the timing doesn’t fit that. Cole is JUST figuring out HHH’s strategy which is about as obvious as birds like to fly. A Pedigree on the floor ties us up as HHH gets praised for brilliance. Dude Scott Steiner did that before. How smart can it be?

So now it’s a stretcher match for the title. Just end it now as you can smell Legacy from here. So since this is about a stretcher we’re fighting in the crowd since it’s barely 10:30 and we’re in the final fall. They break apart the barrier and just keep fighting at ringside. They’ve been doing this for almost 5 minutes now but there’s no drama obviously and no one seems to care.

Hey let’s go in the ring now to kill some more time. They use the steps a lot and nothing of note is happening at all. Why is it not of note? Because they haven’t been trying for the stretcher. They finally do something and of course it doesn’t work. I’m just wanting this to end at this point. Orton does the elevated DDT off the stretcher to the floor. That would look good if I cared about this match. The punt misses and apparently Orton kicked the stretcher.

HHH gets the advantage on top of the stage and has him inches away and here’s Cody. HHH beats him up. Here’s DiBiase who he was mad at earlier, beating HHH up for no apparent reason and throwing away the earlier thing. Shawn is on hiatus here so HHH is all alone. He had a sledgehammer hidden….somewhere on the stage and blasts Legacy with it.

Orton just takes part of the stage and blasts HHH with it for the win. AWFUL main event. Orton poses, HHH hits him with the sledgehammer, guaranteeing us ANOTHER PPV match from these two.

Rating: F+. So the stretcher match part was just them beating each other up for about 15 minutes so that Legacy could run in. Again, these two just cannot have a good match. Period. They simply can’t do it, and yet they kept being shoved down our throats time after time and the people were SICK of it. This was just awful as the stretcher thing was idiotic. This isn’t Memphis. A feud doesn’t need to go on this long.

Overall Rating: C+. That grade took awhile to arrive at. The problem is that the main event and the last nearly 30 minutes just suck the freaking life out of this thing. HHH vs. Orton was one of the worst feuds you could ever imagine as it was just so painfully boring.

The matches weren’t always awful, but they were just not interesting in the slightest. Other than that though, the show is rather good. Rey vs. Jericho is must see and there are other good matches throughout. Check this show out, but don’t watch the main event. It will haunt you.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 28, 2011
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Things are a little bit different tonight and I’m not sure where they’re going to go tonight. Truth has been wellnessed away for the next month so I’m not sure what Miz is going to do. The main event tonight is Alberto vs. CM II so maybe we’re going to get Miz vs. Punk next? It’ll be nice to get through Del Rio’s title push though as he’s not interesting at all as the champion, given how much they’ve crippled him over the last five months. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

We open things up with Piper’s Pit. He talks about how the fans have made him what he is today with their energy and all that jazz. Piper was never the biggest, the strongest, the best etc, but the fans made him what he was with their energy. Tonight his guest is someone who doesn’t care as much about the fans’ energy: John Cena.

Cena isn’t sure what he means about the fans not mattering to him. The Hot Scot plays a word association game with the fans where he says a legend’s name and the fans cheer for him. Then he says Cena….and the fans cheer for him. Cena says that’s the fans’ choice and that’s fine. Piper keeps trying to force this because Cena has to tell the fans what he thinks of them instead of just taking it because if he doesn’t, he’ll lose at Mania.

Cena says you’re going overboard with this. He talks about all of the big shows and matches he’s been on where he was booed out of the building, like Mania 22 and MITB and the TLC match in Toronto and One Night Stand (no opponent listed) which made MITB look like a bunch of schoolgirls. Cena says MSG was just New Yorkers being New Yorkers. Piper keeps pushing it and Cena points to some kids in the front row in his gear, saying that they’re having the time of their lives. He had three Make-A-Wish meetings today and they’re all here.

He tells Piper to read his shirt (Rise Above Hate) and says that’s why he’s going to be ok at Mania because he’s going to be himself as he’s always been, even with the fans booing. Piper talks about how his generation gave the torch to Cena’s generation and Cena’s generation raised it. However, that isn’t going to be enough because Piper says Cena is going to be in denial and hands him the Hall of Fame ring. Cena says he’s in a good place so Piper slaps him. Cena walks off and is mad. That came off as forced for the most part, because Cena was rational about the whole thing.

John Morrison vs. The Miz

This is falls count anywhere. Miz comes out with a ball bat or a pipe or something and jumps Morrison with it during Morrison’s entrance. He hits Morrison’s leg with it about 15 times and Morrison is down. I guess this is how Morrison leaves us. Morrison is being carried out but says he’s going back. He hobbles to the ring and they ring the bell. Morrison takes him down but Miz gets a shot in to the knee and wraps it around the post. R-Truth will be out a few weeks according to Cole.

Miz pulls out a kendo stick for a shot to the knee but somehow Morrison fires off a clothesline. Morrison picks up the stick and wears Miz out with it as they head to the floor. Miz tries to crawl up the ramp and Morrison uses the cane for a cane. That’s smart. Miz sends him face first into the big WWE logo though and Morrison is down. There’s the Skull Crushing Finale on the stage and the referee calls the match off at 3:24 with Morrison out cold.

Rating: C+. I enjoyed this one as Miz looked like a killer out there. His in ring stuff has always been the weakest part of his game so keeping him like a killer like this on his own is the right thing to do. I liked the match too as the history and emotion in it carried it to a better match than it should have been. Also this is a better and more definitive way to send Morrison off as it lets Miz get a push too. Good stuff.

Morrison goes out on a stretcher as Miz has a mic in the ring. He says this week it was John Morrison, last week it was R-Truth and next week, who knows? He’s the only superstar that can make this kind of impact. His face is completely stoic as he says this. Miz says he can do this because he’s awesome. I’m digging this.

Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly vs. Bella Twins

They do the whole second coming thing on the Twitter graphic here. Beth and Nattie come out to th ringside and job around the ring. Then they leave. Ok then. Everything breaks down and Alicia gets a legdrop on a Bella for the pin at 1:45.

Video on Sheamus being all awesome.

Johnny Ace is on the phone and you guessed it: Brodus debuts NEXT week. Otunga comes in and wants to know why Ace is holding off Brodus’ debut for so long because he’s going to be mad. Ace says it’s to make Brodus mad. Alberto comes in and says he’s ready. Ace is worried about sponsors with Punk as champion. Speaking of the champion, he comes in and calls Ace spineless, Del Rio boring, and Otunga something about Jennifer Hudson. Punk leaves and it’s announced that if Punk gets intentionally disqualified, he loses the title.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Barrett is on commentary. An inset Ziggler interview says he’ll win and show off. These two almost always have good chemistry so the match should be good. Ziggler grabs a quick rollup for two but Randy drills him with a clothesline to send him outside. Orton stomps away and Cole says vintage. He’s a lot less annoying tonight. Ziggler pounds him down and takes over as we head to the floor.

We get our first (I think) Twitter Trending line of the night and King talks about the WWE Social thing. Ziggler goes up but gets caught in a superplex from the top. That gets two and we take a break. Back with Orton hammering away and there’s the elevated DDT. He loads up the RKO so Ziggler RUNS, like an intelligent guy. Barrett gets up on the apron and Orton dropkicks him down, allowing Ziggler to run in with the Zig Zag AND HE GETS THE PIN AT 11:43!!! It’s about time!

Rating: B. Fun match but most important of all: ORTON JOBBED (ALMOST) CLEAN!!! Guys like him and Cena don’t need to win every time and having Orton put over Ziggler is great. It makes Ziggler look legit and it furthers Orton vs. Barrett. Good stuff here as was expected with this match. Ziggler could be HUGE is pushed right.

Ziggler does a handstand post match which is hilarious.

Here’s Daniel Bryan in the ring with Cole. Bryan says he earned the spot in the title match tomorrow while Cole calls Bryan a hypocrite. Bryan calls Cole the worst announcer in WWE. Cole brings up Bryan promising to cash in at Mania and then trying to do it early. We look at the video from Smackdown where Bryan tried to cash in and laughed in Cole’s face about it. Cole says he would have suspended Bryan for conduct unbecoming of a WWE Superstar. Bryan says the case guarantees him nothing so he took the opportunity he had. Tomorrow he has another opportunity in a cage with Henry.

Here’s the champ, limping but off crutches. Henry says he’s injured and isn’t completely ready to compete, which is Teddy Long’s fault. Bryan comes up the ramp with the case and says he can beat him. Bryan kicks him in the leg and says we’ll see tomorrow night. Henry is limping it off.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Ryder needs a clean win so that’s fine. Ryder tries to speed things up but walks into a belly to belly for two. Swagger beates him down for awhile but Ryder grabs a neckbreaker for two. Powerbomb is blocked and Ryder goes up. He jumps into a backbreaker and there’s the Vader Bomb but Swagger trips on Ryder’s body. The second attempt hits feet and the Rough Ryder ends this clean at 3:23.

Rating: C. This is the kind of win he needs: he got a clean win over a guy who isn’t going to be hurt by a loss at all. Ryder needs to win the US Title soon though, hopefully at the PPV. Still though, not much of a match, but I can’t complain as it gets the popular guy on TV and gets him a win. What more can you ask for?

Kane is still coming back with the mask.

We go back to earlier in the night and Piper’s Pit.

Here’s Santa Foley to plug Smackdown tomorrow. He gives us a poem and gets a cheap pop.

Punk swears a bit.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Del Rio goes for the arm immediately so Punk fires off a monkey flip. Alberto takes him down again and fish hooks the mouth a bit because he’s that evil. Out to the floor where Punk hits a suicide dive to take over and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the arm again as you would expect him to do. Alberto goes up and hits kind of a shoulder block off the top to the arm for two.

Punk tries a top rope cross body but lands on the arm again. This is a pretty uninteresting match so far. Even Lawler points out how dead the crowd is. Backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he works on the arm again. A top rope double axe gets two. The fans want ice cream because they’re annoying. A big boot puts Punk down but the third attempt at coming off the top fails for Del Rio as he jumps into a kick for two.

The trade strikes and Punk starts his comeback with a neckbreaker for two. Punk sells the arm and hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered into a Codebreaker to the arm for two. The Mexican hits a German to the American for two. GTS is countered into a DDT for two. Del Rio goes for the turnbuckle and the distraction lets Ricardo throw in a chair. Del Rio throws it to him and starts to fall but Punk throws it back first and falls himself. FREAKING BRILLIANT!!! The referee goes to DQ Del Rio but Punk rolls him up for a VERY close two. They actually take the buckle off this time and a GTS onto it ends this at 15:26.

Rating: C+. The match itself was pretty boring, but the ending to it was absolutely brilliant. There was some solid psychology here and everything worked well I think. Also, thank goodness Del Rio loses and we can hopefully move on to something else now instead of his stupid destiny nonsense. Boring match, very hot ending.

Ricardo takes a GTS post match.

Overall Rating: A-. I was DIGGING this show almost all night. Cole toned it way down tonight and it made the show a lot more bearable. They kept things fast paced tonight and instead of focusing on a single story all night, they fired a bunch of stuff at us but most of it was solid stuff. When you have a lot of stuff going on and almost all of it is good, there isn’t much complaining to be found. Great show.

Results
The Miz b. John Morrison via referee stoppage
Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins – Legdrop to Brie Bella
Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Zig Zag
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – GTS onto the turnbuckle

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill

We’re past Survivor Series and it’s officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that’s 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there’s that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There’s a guest host here tonight I think. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they’re saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.

Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he’s not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.

He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let’s get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.

Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They’re FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it’s Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it’s Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That’s not a good idea or innovative. That’s stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he’s coming for Ace himself.

Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don’t get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they’ve come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I’ve been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but it was a nice win for old pasty. Swagger is the walking definition of jobber to the stars at this point and that’s a good role for him since they’re not going to give the guy a new gimmick and the All American thing is done as done can be, so having guys beat him like this is fine.

Nash is up next.

Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he’s the survivor of the group.

Here’s Cody, who says he’s unbeatable and he’s unrepentent. This brings out….oh give me a break it brings out Santino.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there’s the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I’ve heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.

Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He’s the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk

They head to the mat to start and there isn’t much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they’re going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it’s countered into the sleeper. Again it’s the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn’t work since Punk is a face and here’s comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?

Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there’s the elbow. It only gets two because it’s a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but I didn’t get into it like I did with Cena and Ziggler or Orton and Ziggler. Punk gets a good win here but he’s right: this wasn’t interesting or innovative, but it’s all we’re getting tonight because this could be interesting and not involve Rock, and since we want Punk to not have much to work with, we’re stuck with this. Decent match though.

Here’s Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.

The Divas do the same stuff but it’s about WWE 12 this time. Next.

Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here’s Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they’re actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.

Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Better match than I expected here and it’s awesome to see Barrett getting such a strong push. Also having Orton set up as Barrett’s next feud is a good thing and hopefully we see Barrett get the pin at the PPV, which is a feud win that he needs. Good stuff here but Kofi having a chance would have helped. Not their fault though.

Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.

Here’s Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he’s still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.

This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn’t want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.

Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others’ faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let’s go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn’t hit) ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show for the most part. The wrestling wasn’t bad but other than the main stuff, the rest was just there. It felt far more like a commercial for WWE 12 but that’s just a one night thing I believe since it comes out tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad show, but I have no idea what’s coming next and I don’t really see myself caring, which is a bad thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

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Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Here we are with Rock’s first match in seven years. He’s teaming with Cena to face Awesome Truth, who have looked like the most thrown on heels that I can think of in a very long time. We also have Punk vs. Del Rio and Show vs. Henry for the world titles. The elimination match (Team Orton vs. Team Barrett) has been built up very well indeed and I’m looking forward to it more than any other match. Let’s get to it.

Johnny Ace opens the show. No real point to this but he’s here anyway.

United States Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans want Ryder. I mean they REALLY want Ryder. Ziggler takes over to start but a charge in the corner misses to give Johnny NoChance the advantage. They do the always cool slingshot spot, channeling their inner Hennigs. Out to the floor where Morrison hits a huge dive. The fans still want Ryder. Why in the world they’re going with Morrison here I have no idea but they’re doing it and that’s their decision and when Ryder’s pop doesn’t mean as much, it’ll be his fault right?

Vickie time gives Ziggler control back and he cheats like a hashtag heel. Morrison tries to fight back but walks into a reverse suplex for two. Sleeper hold is countered but an O’Connor Roll gets two for Dolph. Flying Chuck gets two. Why is it called that anyway? Sleeper by Dolph is countered into a sleeper by Morrison which draws a LOUD boo from the crowd. Vickie breaks up a cover off a tornado DDT, drawing an ejection for her.

Fameasser gets two for the champ but Morrison starts his comeback. Ah John. If only you actually had a chance of winning this match at all. I mean, it’s pretty clear you’re going but they want to squeeze every drop out of you that they can, even though Ryder is clearly the people’s choice. Starship Pain eats knees and Zig Zag keeps Dolph’s title at 10:40.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener, but the constant Ryder chants (not the fans’ fault) took away from it. That and the fact that Morrison was as much of a lame duck as you could ask for. Nothing too bad here and it was fine for an opener, but there wasn’t enough here to make it a great match. Now get the belt on Ryder already.

Vickie comes out and says that Dolph is awesome. Dolph says he is awesome and no one would want to follow that. The fans want Ryder but Dolph says he isn’t here. Cue Ryder who hits a Rough Ryder to blow the roof off the place.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

This is a lumberjill match for no reason whatsoever. Eve jumps into a slam to start but takes over quickly, sending Beth to the floor. Back in a neckbreaker and the standing moonsault get two. We get into the normal set of circumstances with Beth locking in a hold as Eve is in trouble. Eve starts her comeback as this couldn’t be more of a beer break match if they put a freaking stamp on it.

Eve hooks this wicked looking choke which shifts into a triangle choke but it doesn’t work as it’s a new submission hold that looked good so it can’t be the winner early. They exchange rollups for two each and this is still going nowhere. Eve takes her down and sets for the moonsault but Beth goes up top and they fight on the top rope. Beth counters into the Glam Slam off the top for the pin at 4:42.

Rating: C. Better than average Divas match here with a pretty solid ending. That being said, I have zero reason to care about this story at all as it just keeps going with nothing really developing at all in it. The heels are still evil and proclaim dominance but they run from any staredown, which defeats the purpose of being dominant. In short, I don’t care at all.

Punk is warming up when Otunga comes up and says that Punk should apologize to Cole before he competes tonight, on the orders of Johnny Ace. Punk says he’ll think about it after he wins the title.

Rock has a mic and talks about being here when he was 5 years old and hanging out with Andre the Giant (which he repeats) while he watches his dad defend his WWCensored tag titles. He debuted here in November of 96 with the worst haircut ever and a stupid outfit but they chanted his name. That was the beginning of an odyssey and he went through the company, winning everything in sight. He talks about Awesome Truth a bit and this is going WAY too long at about five minutes now. Now Rock starts a song number, asking the fans to sing New York with him. WAY too long here but the fans were into it.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Mason Ryan, Sheamus

This is the match that I’ve wanted to see more than any other. Ziggler vs. Kofi starts us off after an eternity of entrances. Cara is in white and Rhodes has knee pads. Off to Orton and the RKO ends Ziggler in about 4 seconds. Team Barrett huddles up but Orton jumps them and picks Barrett to beat up. Everything breaks down and Team Orton stands tall. Kofi and Cara try stereo dives but Cara hooks his leg on the ropes and is holding his knee. Great. The fans, again, want Ryder. Cara is eliminated and we’re down to 4-4. I’m not so sure how planned that was, but it looked like he grabbed the rope so maybe it was planned.

Rhodes vs. Orton now and make that Ryan vs. Hunico. I don’t expect these two to be in there that long. Hey I’m right as it’s off to Kofi very quickly. Kofi runs into a slingshot move and goes crotch first into the buckle for two. Wade in now and it’s time for a chinlock. Back to Ryan vs. Hunico and Wales beats up Mexico a bit. Hunico makes a blind tag to Cody who hits the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the pin and a pop plus a chant.

Off to Sheamus vs. Rhodes and Sheamus powers him into the ropes for the pounding forearms which gets counted along with. Get the fans involved in a match, even with something like that, and they’ll love you forever. The referee breaks things up and Cody is able to bring in Barrett who takes over. Off to Hunico and we hear that Sin Cara is trending worldwide. This has been talked about all night by the way but I didn’t feel like bringing it up as it makes my head hurt.

Hot tag brings in Kofi who beats up the Brit because that’s what people do. Boom Drop hits as Cole says he’s emulating Shawn Michaels. Booker: “I never saw Shawn do a Boom Drop.” Barret avoids the kick but walks into a Pendulum Kick, as does Swagger. Wade drops him dead with a big boot though and Wasteland makes it 4-2. Orton comes in but is sent to the floor quickly. Hunico hits a suicide dive and takes over. Could he be more RKO fodder if he tried?

Off to Swags who hasn’t done much in this so far. Rhodes comes in to work on the arm and gets a near fall. Orton manages to throw Rhodes off and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and one to Swagger as well. The paler one goes up and hits the top rope shoulder. Hunico is sent outside and there’s an Irish Curse for Jack. Barrett breaks the Cross up but is knocked to the floor. Sheamus goes after Swagger and it’s a LAME DQ to make it 4-1. Did I mention they made it a big deal that Orton is a 4 time sole survivor?

Sheamus kicks Swagger in the head before leaving and Orton gets the easy pin to make it 3-1. It’s Hunico, Cody and Barrett left if you’ve lost count. Rhodes comes in to pound him down but Orton fires back with the clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT hits and he loads up the RKO. Barrett distracts as Hunico makes a blind tag. Springboard, RKO, 2-1. Barrett comes in and gets taken down but there’s an RKO to Rhodes. Randy gets too distracted though and Wasteland ends this at 22:18 with Barrett and Rhodes being the sole survivors. Cara has a ruptured patella tendon.

Rating: B-. This was fun but the botch brought things to a complete halt which hurt it a lot. The right guys survived too as they’ve been very hot on Smackdown lately. Randy laying down clean is the right thing to do and he did that here. I have no issues with him pinning Swagger and Hunico, but it’s good that they kept the top heels strong. Fun match, but it wasn’t as good as it was hyped up.

The Bellas hit on Del Rio when Ace comes in. There’s a LOUD Cody chant for this as Ace talks about Del Rio needing to take this seriously. Del Rio says this is the first defense of many in MSG for him.

Don’t be a bully.

We get a long video on Show vs. Henry and the ring breaking last month.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

The ring has been reinforced. Show shoves him around to start as I think the fans want Bryan. Show busts out a waistlock and armdrag of all things. Henry goes after the knee which is smart strategy since he can take it down with his power game. If Cara is out like he thinks he’ll be, it’s six months recovery. He lays on the knee of Show to waste some time. If they keep this a simple power vs. power match, it should be ok. The fans think this is boring and I can’t say I disagree.

The fans chant for Bryan now and Cole says he’s not here tonight due to the attack Friday. Show fights back with a DDT and calls for the chokeslam but Henry picks him up with the Slam for two. Splash gets two as well. An elbow drop gets two. Fire Henry chant starts up as does an Undertaker chant. Out to the floor and Henry rams him through the barricade and please don’t let it be a lame double countout.

Thankfully they’re both back in and Henry is ticked off. Henry headbutts him on the apron and they load up the superplex. Show breaks it up and hits a superkick of all things to put Henry down. That draws the required HBK chant. And with that, Show goes up to the top rope. He looks SCARED. After about a minute, LUCHA SHOW HITS AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP!!! It only gets two and even the MSG fans are into this now. That draws a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the punch but Henry ducks and kicks him low for the ULTRA LAME DQ at 13:22.

Rating: B-. Man, this was some insane stuff. The elbow was NUTS and the crowd chanting was better than anything you’ll ever hear in TNA. The ending CRIPPLED this though as it was a fun battle of the big men until then, but that ending just sucked. Let it end by a double countout after the elbow or something, but not like that. It was horrible looking all around.

Post match Henry loads up the Pillmanization but Show moves at the last minute. Now Show sets to Pillmanize Henry’s ankle and drops a leg on it for the injury. Uh, Bryan anyone? No? Well of course not. That would pop the crowd huge and we don’t want that. Legit we don’t want that. It’s the Rock’s show.

Barrett says nothing of note when Awesome Truth interupts him. Barrett makes a Charlie Sheen reference. Oh good grief. Truth and Miz talk about Rock/Cena and Truth talks about seeing pigeons looking at a picture of Rock/Cena. “You know what they said to me? Nothing! They’re pigeons! They can’t talk!” Awesome.

The New York National Guard is here and get recognized. Think that draws a USA chant?

We recap Alberto vs. Punk, which King thinks started at Survivor Series. Del Rio cashed in then won it again at HIAC, so this is Punk’s rematch.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk has his own ring announcer: The Fink. Punk goes old school ROH with the hoodie. The fans want ice cream. CM grabs a headlock to call some spots and gets two off a shoulder black. Both guys work on the arm with Punk in control at the moment. Del Rio heads to the floor as we hear even more about Twitter. Del Rio heads to the floor twice so Punk hits a suicide dive to take care of him.

Del Rio takes over and Ricardo gets in a shot as well. Punk chases after him but runs into an Alberto kick. Del Rio works the arm which is psychology baby! GTS is countered so Del Rio hits a single arm DDT for two. More arm work and Alberto goes up for another shot to the arm, getting two. He misses a charge and lands on the floor with a thud. Punk takes him down again (while shaking the arm) and they slug it out.

Punk takes over with a springboard clothesline for two. He calls for the GTS and Ricardo has a towel for some reason. The GTS is countered and Del Rio gets a Backstabber for two. The knee in the corner misses and the Del Rio enziguri gets two. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two. They go up and Punk gets crotched so that Del Rio can kick the arm again. He misses a charge though and Del Rio’s arm hits the post. The Macho Elbow hits for two.

GTS and armbreaker are countered but the second armbreaker works to put Punk in real trouble. Punk finally gets his feet on the ropes for the break and sets for the GTS, but he only has one arm. Ricardo interferes but gets kicked down. A big kick sets up the Vice and Punk is champion at 17:03.

Rating: C+. The psychology was pretty solid but Del Rio is such a boring character that I didn’t care in the slightest. Punk winning is a good thing as he was the hottest thing going on Raw for a very long time. Not a classic or anything but it puts the title on the right guy, which is what we needed badly on Raw for the past few weeks.

Fink does the NEW WWE Champion thing post match which brings a legit smile to my face.

We recap Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth which starts as a big love letter to Rock. The main event was set for Mania a year ago (essay coming soon) but Awesome Truth wasn’t happy. This is far more about Rock and Cena, as it should be.

John Cena/The Rock vs. Awesome Truth

Gee, who do you think is going to get the most boos? Rock looks great, more muscular that I ever remember seeing him. He starts with Miz as the bell ringer messes up a bit. Cena gives his shirt and a kiss on the cheek to Arnold Skaaland’s widow. Rock cleans house with arm drags and La Majistral for two on Miz. Truth wants him so Rock goes Owen with the wristlock counter.

Rock cleans house again and busts out a fisherman’s suplex to Truth but Cena is fighting Miz so there’s no count. Miz comes in and wants Cena. The fans think Cena can’t wrestle, so they stand around forever. Cena fires off a monkey flip and a dropkick but fans: “You still suck! You still suck! You still suck!” Cena loads up You Can’t See Me but goes to look at Rock instead. Rock sees Truth coming to jump Cena and does nothing at all.

So it’s Cena as Ricky Morton here as he gets beaten down, going into the post. Both heels take turns on him and we head to the floor. Fan: “Tell those pigeons who’s boss Truth!” Miz hits the low DDT for two. There’s the corner clothesline and the fans are either saying he’s awesome or awful. Truth pops Cena and Miz gets two off of it. Booker talks about Rock being selfish and we hear about the summer of 2001 when Rock beat Booker time after time.

Awesome Truth beats down Cena even more as Truth hits a dancing legdrop for two. Hulk Hogan he’s not. He goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an FU attempt. Truth rolls through that and gets two. Cena gets in the shot that he needs and hits an AA out of nowhere on Truth. Miz comes in and takes Rock out though so the heels keep the advantage.

Another dancing legdrop misses and it’s hot tag Rock. He cleans house, hitting the Rock Bottom on Truth and the Sharpshooter is put on Miz. Truth comes in with the Little Jimmy to break it up so Cena spears him down. Great, another guy with the spear. Miz takes over but of course runs his mouth and gets caught by the spinebuster and People’s Elbow for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B Fine main event tag match here and Rock looked great. That’s the biggest thing here as there was no doubt who was winning here. Now at Mania….I’m not so sure, but that’s another review for another time. Good stuff here and it was exactly what was advertised, which is the right idea here. Not that it means anything, but Rock has been in the ring which is the right thing.

Cena goes to leave but Rock calls him back.  They have a pose off and Rock of course is cheered longer and louder.  Cena goes to leave but Rock grabs him in a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s hard to say this show wasn’t good, but it could have been a lot more. They were intentionally keeping the crowd at a lower key until the very end to pop big for Rock, which is ok, but it makes the rest of the show pretty uninteresting. Some bad finishes really hurt things, but Punk winning the title is great and Rock looked awesome so it’s hard to complain. Good show, but it could have been more.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison – Zig Zag
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam from the top rope
Team Barrett b. Team Orton last eliminating Randy Orton
Big Show b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry kicked Big Show low
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – Anaconda Vice
The Rock/John Cena b. Awesome Truth – People’s Elbow to Miz

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