Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches.  The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways.  It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

 

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things.  I’m really not sure who to predict in this.  I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else.  Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them.  Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain.  Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already.  Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit.  Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already.  Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed.  Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center.  Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald.  Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down.  Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one.  Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline.  Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same.  Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one.  He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down.  Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring.  Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter.  They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post.  For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus.  Not a good night for the Mexican dude.  Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him.  BIG pop for Sheamus for that one.  Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder.  Scratch that as all three go to the floor.  Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now.  The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership.  Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher.  Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in.  Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead.  Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later.  Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down.  Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder.  Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save.  Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time.  Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan.  Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now.  Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think.  The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people.  Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe.  Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder.  That would be awesome.  Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him.  Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves.  Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing.  Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top.  That was cool.  Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb.  Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it.  Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT.  Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him.  Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him.  He goes onto it but doesn’t break it.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible.  That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down.  Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot.  Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit.  Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge.  Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE!  Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing.  He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end.  The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot.  I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened.  GREAT match though.

Vince is here.  Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

 

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat.  Is his memory failing or something?  No idea what you want me to say here.  They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw.  Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now.  It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd.  Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here.  Crowd is dead here.  K2 ends this at like four minutes.  Total filler and it knows it.

 

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here?  This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure.  The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time.  Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really.  It served its purpose though I guess.

 

Summerslam ad.  It’s in the summer you know.  Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show.  They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people.  Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

 

Henry is in blue here.  They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down.  Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up.  Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control.  Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in.  Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two.  Half crab goes on which makes sense for once.  Henry?  Psychology?  What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking?  Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool.  Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such.  Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three.  Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up.  World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two.  Dang I would have thought that was the ending.  Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short.  That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall.  Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed.  He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract.  Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

 

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair.  If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

 

After some big match intros we’re ready to go.  Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap.  The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease.  The crowd is totally behind Christian here.  Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside.  These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control.  Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor.  Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO.  Jackknife cover gets two for Randy.  There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased.  Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match.  Top rope headbutt gets two.  Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999.  Even the crowd is into this now.  Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead.  Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two.  He sets for the Punt but Christian moves.  Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble.  Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him.  He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ.  Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ!  CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!!  THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

 

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff.  I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before.  Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is.  Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot.  Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena.  If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot.  Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot.  This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too.  If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

 

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music.  He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in.  Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down.  Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him.  The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible.  From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all.  Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there.  Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed.  Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype.  Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show.  Loved it.

 

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

I’ll get used to putting these up eventually.

Anyway we have four major matches tomorrow night:

Raw MITB

SD MITB

Christian vs. Orton

Punk vs. Cena

Your thoughts?

As for mine:

I’m going to go with Cena retaining by pin, Rey as a total in the dark pick, Orton to retain and I guess Cody to win MITB.  I have very little confidence there though so that is what it is.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here.  It’s probably going to be either Punk’s last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great.  With Vince being around now there’s a chance he might pop up too.  Also we’ll get some build for the MITB match itself.  The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they’re likely going to be tired from the flight.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show with a bullhorn.  He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we can’t here.  Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention now.  He says recapping is in order in case you didn’t watch, which he didn’t because he wasn’t on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago.  Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.

He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off.  The fans are totally behind him here and there’s a loud CM PUNK chant.  He says he’s here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE.  Oddly enough all he’s ever wanted is a microphone.  I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude.  Punk says he’s been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.

That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned).  Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story.  Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay.  If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldn’t be so much ammo built up for him to use.  Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punk’s version of Vince’s old kissing club.

Cue Cena who says cut the music.  Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didn’t even want.  He says he’s going to change the look of the title when he wins it because it’s been far too ugly for far too long.  Punk points out that Cena isn’t going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week.  Cena: “You done?”  Punk: “Probably not but would you like to say something?”

Cena says that Punk has been talking about how he’s walking out of Chicago with the title and there’s nothing that can stop him.  Cena is no pushover though and now let’s talk about the word wrestler.  People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great.  Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle.  We’ll see how great they both are on Sunday.  A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.

John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

 

Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break.  Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga.  STF attempt doesn’t work and it’s off to Otunga.  The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is.  You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.

Cena takes Otunga down and it’s off to McGillicutty who gets dominated.  You Can’t See Me and there’s the Shuffle.  AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two.  Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and there’s the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again.  Well at least it hasn’t been total Cena dominance.  And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but then again the Nexus are very boring to put it mildly.  I really don’t mind the champions losing again because it’s not like they’ve been built up in the slightest anyway.  Not sure why the GM would give Cena a seemingly hard match like that but maybe Punk will get one too.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.

Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight.  The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired.  Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him.  Dolph makes fun of “Vince” and they all make fun of his breath.  Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop).  Tonight they’ll be in a handicap match against Big Show.  They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people.  He doesn’t want to talk to the people right now.

Kelly Kelly vs. Melina

 

The Bellas are on commentary.  Jerry gets on Cole for saying there’s a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesn’t exist.  Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45.  Total nothing match.

Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup.  They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save.  The Bellas leave her laying.

Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.

Here’s Miz and there are ladders everywhere.  He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case.  He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion.  He’s taken that path before and since he’s the future, he’ll do it again.  Miz says he’s used to being above everyone else because he’s the best.  Cue Swagger who points out that he’s won the case and the title before.  Miz: “If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?”

Cue Bourne who says he’s tired of hearing about what they’ve done so he’s going to talk about what he’ll do Sunday.  Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands.  Here’s Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say.  He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that.  Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently.  He’s afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he’s afraid of them too.  If he opens that case and there’s a spider, the grits will hit the pan.

Here’s Riley because six promos about one match isn’t enough.  He comes out at a spring and Miz runs.  Here’s Alberto in a Mercedes.  He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again.  Oh and something about destiny.  An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.

The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston

 

No Alberto or Rey here.  Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger.  Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is.  Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment.  Bourne gets a knee to the face and it’s hot tag to Kofi.  He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place.  Boom Drop to Truth.  He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.

There’s the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves.  Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz.  Off to Truth who gets a two count.  Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison.  He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can.  Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.

Rating: C. Just an average match here with nothing of note going on.  You get almost the same match every year and it’s really not all that interesting.  Not a bad match or anything but really just kind of there.  They need to go with six people in the match instead of 8 as there are just too many of them that way.  Not bad, but the same stuff we always see out of these.

Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Miz’s arm.  Bourne was holding his ankle too.

We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk.   If Cena loses at the PPV he’s fired.

McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show

 

Show is all mad here.  Ziggler starts and looks at Show.  He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up.  Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides.  Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show.  McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and it’s a countout at 2:00.

Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage.  Henry goes flying also.  Drew just kind of disappears.

Henry doesn’t want help to the back.

We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.

We run down the card for the PPV.

Punk and Vince are up next.

Vince comes out three times because the reaction isn’t strong enough for him.  No handshake for Cole.  He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky.  There’s a table and a red carpet in the ring.  He doesn’t want to negotiate in person but he’ll do it here.  He wants to get this over with so get out here.  Punk imitates Vince’s walk as is required by WWE law.

Vince’s chair falls down as he sits in it.  The contract has the provision for a Punk collector’s cup in it apparently.  Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena.  Vince says he couldn’t live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday.  He actually calls Punk Phil.  Punk doesn’t like the contract that’s made up so he had his lawyers make a new one.  Punk has already signed this one.

One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince.  Apparently Punk wants respect or he’s leaving with the title.  Apparently that wasn’t a provision.  The first is that he wants a jet.  As in a new one, not Vince’s because that one smells.  Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything.  HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!!  Punk is officially better than everyone.  That actually gets a HUGE reaction.

He wants CM Punk The Movie.  You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful.  Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever he’s against.  The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite.  As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met.  The fans are eating up every word Punk says.

Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired.  Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana.  Vince doesn’t want to apologize so Punk throws the table over.  The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling.  Vince doesn’t care what the people want and Punk says that’s the point.

The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says he’s sorry.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it.  Here’s Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday.  Cena calls him a terrorist and says they’re both like kids.  Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.

Now we get to the awesome stuff.  Cena tells Punk that he’s lost sight of what got him here.  Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cena’s car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him.  Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates.  Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees.  Cena drills him and Punk bails.  Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cena’s dad.

Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave.  He’s tired of all this and he’s leaving on Sunday.  Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk.  He tears up the contract and does You Can’t See Me to end this.  The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty awful but the show got pushed very hard tonight.  The Raw side is built on two matches and those were pushed very hard indeed.  Anything else that happens at the PPV will be bonus material so it’s hard to complain about the lack of wrestling.  Ok no it isn’t but it’s more forgivable here.  Not a great show but for a go home show for this particular PPV, this was fine.

Results

John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – AA to McGillicutty

Kelly Kelly b. Melina – K2

Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger – Inverted DDT to Swagger

Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re still in Vegas as this show was taped last week.  It’s the 4^th of July so expect a lot of Vince’s patriotism to shine through.  We have the Punk promo that everyone has been talking about to get through tonight which should definitely be interesting.  Vince himself might bere here too so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week which is the same as the Raw ReBound from Smackdown.

There’s a triple threat match for the #1 contender spot: R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio.

Riley vs. Miz tonight….again.

Here’s Cena to open the show and he’s very serious it seems.  He talks about how Punk has said some stuff that has ticked off WWE management.  Due to those comments he’s been suspended indefinitely and loses his title shot.  There’s a triple threat match tonight and we’re just supposed to forget Punk existed.  Cena thinks that sucks.  The two of them have never seen eye to eye but Punk has been suspended for speaking his mind.

Cena says it’s unfair that someone has had his freedom of speech taken away.  He references the Bryan tie choking incident and the removal of various signs.  If the WWE Universe is silenced and Punk is silenced, what’s next?  The fans chant 1^st Amendment and Cena agrees.  If they can sweep Punk under the rug, what’s next?  He wants answers and he wants them from Vince himself.  Vince is on the way and Cena will get his answers tonight.  Solid opening.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

 

All of the girls looking good of course.  Eve starts with we’ll call that Brie.  Eve dominates to start and makes fun of the Bellas.  She gets tossed over the top though and might have hurt her shoulder.  Off to Nikki who works over the arm.  Eve finally escapes for the hot tag to Kelly who cleans house.  She hits the headscissors and the Stink Face.  Bulldog gets two.  K2 ends this clean at 3:14.

Rating: C. The arm work here was actually pretty good and showed some rare psychology in a Divas’ match.  Not bad actually as the whole thing worked pretty well.  Having the girls look good in their tiny outfits is always a nice perk.  I know the Divas aren’t going to amount to much anytime soon but it’s nice to see a decent little match like this every now and then.

Video on Andy Levine of Tough Enough.  It’s a bunch of trainers and him talking about Silent Rage and how they need to get him to let it out more often.

Truth is on the phone with what sounds like an insurance company.  Scott Sanford comes up to ask him about the triple threat.  Truth says he’s happy because he just saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.  Oh and he’ll win as Alberto comes up.  “First Little Jimmy, now Senor Jimmy?”  Alberto says it’s about destiny and Truth isn’t that impressed.

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

 

Apparently Mason Ryan is hurt.  Santino and Otunga start us off with Otunga in control briefly.  Santino tries the Cobra but David bails.  Off to McGillicutty who doesn’t do that well either.  Kozlov comes in and manhandles McGillicutty a little bit.  Double teaming by the champions takes Kozlov down and work their basic offense on the Russian.  He blocks a double suplex and brings in Santino.  Marella takes down everyone and loads up the Cobra, but McGillicutty manages to get a boot to the ribs and the McGillicutter ends this at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak tag match here.  No idea why the titles weren’t on the line as they never deliver them anyway.  There really aren’t any teams on Raw to defend against anyway so I’d like to see them head to Smackdown once in awhile.  Nothing of note here and really pretty boring.

Post match, Zack Ryder comes out and says Woo Woo Woo You Know It and that’s it.  Literally, he came out, said the catchphrase and smiled at the ring.

Miz is in the back and says there’s a golden opportunity to get a shot at Cena but because of Alex Riley, Miz doesn’t get a chance to get the shot.  Tonight he’s taking Riley out for good.

Evan Bourne is in the back with Sergeant Slaughter.  He’s going to lead the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Swagger comes up and says that he should get to do it.  We even get a reference to the Gulf War angle back in 91.  Slaughter says everyone makes mistakes, like Swagger’s parents when they didn’t use birth control.  A match is made for later.

Vince’s plane arrived earlier.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

 

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

Post match Sarge gets put in the ankle lock and Evan Bourne makes the save.  Sarge gets to do the Pledge of Allegiance.

We get a clip of the pretty cool destruction of the cage last week by Henry.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

No entrance for Del Rio.  Whoever wins this is replaced by someone else in MITB.  Alberto takes over to start and a kick to the back of the head gets two on Rey.  Del Rip misses a charge and heads to the floor as Truth comes back in.  The spinning forearm gets two.  Everyone is on the floor now with Truth in control.  He sends both guys into the railing and gets two on Rey back in the ring.

After beating Rey down a bit more he hits a dive to keep Del Rio down.  Spinning side slam gets two on Rey as Del Rio is back in.  Truth hammers on Rey some more but Del Rio gets Truth onto his shoulders as we get a modified Doomsday Device with Truth taking the majority of the blow.  We take a break with everyone down.

Back with Del Rio choking Rey on the ropes and Truth nowhere to be seen.  Rey tries to fight back but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.  Del Rio sets for an O’Connor Roll but Truth pops up to hit Alberto in the face.  In a cool spot, Truth hits a sunset flip on Del Rio who still has his hands on Rey, meaning Rey takes a German suplex.  Backstabber to Truth for two.  Axe kick gets two but Del Rio breaks it up.  Alberto is sent to the floor as Rey hits the top rope splash to Truth.  Alberto runs back in and throws on the cross armbreaker for the tap from Rey at 13:07.

Rating: C. Just another triple threat match for a title shot.  I’m really getting tired of matches like these determining title shots rather than angles setting up matches, meaning they’re set up on emotion and hatred.  Still though that’s the modern method of doing things so it’s what we get.  Anyway, this was nothing special but the sunset flip/German suplex spot was cool.

Back with a recap video of the first MITB match and cash-in.

There’s a party setup in the ring and the cake says Happy Birthday Dolph.  Oh ok it’s because he’s US Champion and this is the birthday of the US.  Vickie sings Happy Birthday to Dolph.  Ziggler says there will never be another him and he’s awesome.  Forget Punk and Cena and the WWE Title because as long as he’s US Champion, it’s the only title that matters.

Here’s Kofi because we haven’t seen them fight enough.  Kofi says he should have been invited to the party.  He also says that Dolph can’t beat him without Vickie.  His eyes are very bloodshot.  Dolph says beat it so Kofi shoves him into Vickie who goes into the cake.  They brawl a bit and Vickie is knocked into it again.

Video on Miz’s MITB stuff last year.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

We get a quick video about Riley during his entrance.  Riley gets all aggressive and takes over but messes up an attempt to throw Miz over the top.  He takes him out there anyway and keeps hammering.  Miz catches him coming back in though and takes over.  Off to a cravate and then a short DDT for two.  Vince is on his way to the arena.  Riley gets in some punches but walks into a flapjack for two.

Miz keeps hammering away and gets a reverse DDT for two as we take a break.  Back with Riley ramming Miz’s head into the mat to take over.  He gets all fired up and hits a spinebuster for two.  Inverted DDT is countered by a northern lights suplex though and hits the corner clothesline.  Miz tries the Reality Check but gets caught in a backslide for the pin at 9:10.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it’s good to see Riley keep getting pushed, but eventually they have to let Miz get a win over someone.  I can’t think of the last time he won something.  Anyway, not bad here and probably about equal to their match at the PPV, which is a good sign for Riley.

Post match Miz snaps and beats Riley down, including Riley having his head rammed into the steps while Miz yells at him.  A running boot puts Riley over the announce table.

We see the same video from the beginning of the show.

Here’s Vince to talk about Punk.  Vince says that Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  He has a story about Punk.  Punk’s contract is expiring very soon and Punk wanted to have limos, first class flights, to be on DVDs etc.  Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  Punk is just that: a punk.  Vince goes to leave and here’s Cena to say not so fast my friend.

Cena says that’s not enough for Punk and says Punk was using his freedom of speech.  Vince is very pro-freedom of speech right?  “That’s why your microphone is still working pal.”  Cena remembers that when Vince used to walk down the aisle every week (required Vince walk impression included) and took on whatever was in front of him.  Vince took down Turner but he just suspended Punk for talking about him.

Cena wonders if the grapefruits are gone.  He still wants to fight Punk and if Vince doesn’t want to fight, maybe he should hang it up “old man”.  Vince says he really suspended Punk out of fear.  He’s afraid that Cena can’t beat him and Punk takes the title away with him wherever he goes.  Cena says he wants the match and so do the people.  God forbid we risk embarrassing Vince.

To Cena this is the biggest PPV of the year because of everything up against him.  We get a reference to Punk riding on Cena’s car at Mania 22 in Chicago.  However, Vince won’t let it happen because Vince didn’t like what Punk said.  Would Vince ever do that to Cena?  Vince says we don’t do this in public.  “Don’t be Hogan.”  Vince says it’s his company, not Cena’s, so does it really matter?

Cena says that’s not what he signed up for.  He gets that everyone is replaceable and that he shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Cena hands the title to Vince and walks away.  Vince freaks out and more or less begs Cena to come back.  Vince says wait a minute and takes the belt with him up the ramp to Cena.  Vince hates this but the match is back on and Punk is reinstated.  However, if Punk walks out of Chicago with the title, Cena is fired.  Cena’s stunned look at Vince ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The problem here is a very obvious one: this show revolved around two promos and other than them, not a single thing on this show mattered.  The triple threat is proven to be completely inconsequential given the announcement at the end of the show.  The lack of it being live and the crowd being burned out after four hours of Raw didn’t help anything.  This was a very bad episode of Raw and one of their weakest in a long time.  The featured promos keep it from being a failure though.

Results

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins – K2 to Brie Bella

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – McGillicutter to Marella

Jack Swagger b. Sgt. Slaughter – Corner pump splash

Alberto Del Rip b. Rey Mysterio and R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker to Mysterio

Alex Riley b. Miz – Backslide

I can’t believe I didn’t put something up on this sooner.

As I’m sure you’ve all seen by now, Punk had an awesome promo on Monday that was at least somewhat shoot.  What are your thought on where he’s going and what he’ll be doing in the future?

At the moment, I’m thinking he’s going away, at least for awhile and that Cena gets the clean win.  I think we’re probably building this up too highly, because the whole thing ends with a single fall.  I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t think it can end any other way.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Raw Roulette tonight, meaning Spin the Wheel Make the Deal for you old school WCW fans.  In short it’s a lot of gimmick matches, determined by a likely rigged wheel.  We’re building towards Punk vs. Cena at the PPV and also towards the MITB ladder match which is likely to see some qualifying matches tonight.  Also Shawn Michaels is here tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Booker T is operating the wheel.

Here’s Shawn to open things up.  He says he promised he’d stay away but he can’t quite leave all this.  He did it for 20 years and you can’t just stop cold turkey.  Shawn is still the headline, the showstopper, the main event, Mr. Wrestlemania and now Mr. Hall of Fame.  He insists he’s not the guest host but is just a guy that’s here.  The last thing he’s going to do is tell you about a new show he has on the Outdoor Network which debuts tomorrow night at 11:30 PM.  He’s not going to point out his Twitter which is listed on the screen.

Shawn is interrupted by Punk and Nexus minus Ryan who apparently was hurt over the weekend.  Punk talks about how Shawn has an addictive personality and can’t stay away.  He reminds us that he’s leaving on the 17^th.  He says he’s going to leave a winner, which Shawn says you might want to ask Cena about.  After some more insults, Shawn gets a great line in by saying that the people cheer him because they know he’s better than Punk.  Punk wants to know if that’s a challenge.  Shawn says they’re not alike even though they have similarities.  Shawn says they both have their own styles and Otunga’s head is kicked off.

An E-Mail says Punk has the first match tonight so let’s spin the wheel.  Booker lists off some possible matches: on a pole, guest referee, cage, submission, pillow fight etc.  We spin the wheel and it lands on a question mark.  That means he has a mystery opponent, in the form of Kane who just happens to be standing next to the wheel.  Shawn gets Sweet Shoulder Music to McGillicutty and here’s Kane.

Kane vs. CM Punk

 

The bell is after the break.  Before we come back there’s a video about Mark Henry and then Henry putting Kane through the table last week is mentioned.  I wonder if that’s hinting at what’s coming.  They hit the floor with Kane totally dominating.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Punk manages to guillotine him on the top rope and a high kick puts Kane down.

Punk hammers away and tries to kick at the leg a bit, only for Kane to grab a chokeslam attempt.  Punk escapes but Kane takes him down anyway.  Top rope clothesline is broken up so Punk tries a superplex.  That doesn’t work but Punk rolls to the floor to avoid the clothesline.  Punk walks out for the countout at 4:16, saying that he doesn’t care which makes sense for him.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here at all as it was mainly just to play up the whole Punk is leaving so he doesn’t care at all.  That makes sense and could prove interesting over the next few weeks.  The match itself meant nothing and wasn’t very interesting as a result, which gets annoying quickly.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

 

This is the make up match from last week when they screwed up the voting thing.  It’s also a roulette match with the stipulation of….something that is going to be determined after they get confused.  They ring the bell with Justin Roberts still in the ring and before the wheel is spin.  Even in some Daisy Dukes is with Booker and it’s no countout.  They start on the mat until Cara speeds things up with his insane flying stuff.

They head to the floor and then roll back in almost at the same time.  Bourne gets his double stomp to the chest for two.  Handspring elbow misses and Bourne misses a jumping kick.  Rana sends Bourne to the floor and Cara hits a HUGE suicide dive.  The crowd is into this also.  Bourne counters a spinning something into a headscissors to take over and we go back inside.

Cara avoids a dropkick and gets a rollup for two.  La Magistral gets two for Cara.  A spinning crossbody which wound up with Cara landing with his back on Bourne’s chest for two.  Standing moonsault gets two for Evan.  Shooting Star misses and Cara gets his spinning mat slam for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. Cara is getting better with fewer botches, even though it seemed like Bourne was shaken up on the ending.  They did the right thing here and let them go, but a few more dives would have made it far better.  Still though, there was enough there to make it fun and the fans were way into it which is the whole point.

Kofi gets to spin the wheel to determine what kind of match he has with Ziggler next.  Vickie comes in to spin it for him and it’s Player’s Choice, meaning Kofi gets to pick the match.  He goes with Vickie is barred from ringside.

Instead of qualifying matches we’re just going to be told who the participants in MITB are going to be.  For Raw:

Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne. Alberto Del Rio, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Alex Riley, The Miz.  No Dolph?  Interesting.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie tries to come out and is sent to the back.  WWE really needs to find something else for these two to do.  Dolph hits the floor almost immediately and tries to walk out like Punk did, only for Kofi to stop him and bring him back towards the ring.  Dolph sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding a chinlock.  Fameasser gets two.  Kofi reverses a half nelson slam into a small package for two.  Slugout is won by Kingston but Ziggler gets a big boot up.   He throws Kofi into the ropes but Kofi bounces off the top and a sweet Trouble in Paradise ends this at 7:35.

Rating: C. Match was mostly in the commercial but that kick to end it was pretty sweet.  I guess we’re going to get another match between these two later on because we haven’t seen it enough yet.  These two desperately need something new to do and they have for a very long time.  Not bad here but nothing memorable at all.

Booker recaps the first hour with Maryse next to him.  Alberto comes in and complains about having to face Show again.  Alberto hits on Maryse, asking her to spin it for luck.  The match is a steel cage match which gets a big reaction from the crowd.  Maryse leaves when she sees that.  “Tell me she didn’t just spin that.”

We get a clip of Henry slamming Show through the table at Capitol Punishment.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

Pin, submission or escape here.  Alberto runs for the wall almost immediately and that doesn’t work at all.  Alberto gets a boot in but can’t really follow up.  He gets a shot in to the knee and works it over which is the best strategy against Show here.  And yeah there’s Henry.  Show starts his comeback and chops away.  Chokeslam is loaded up but Alberto kicks the knee out again.

Show goes down after some more kicks but as Del Rio tries to escape he gets chopped again.  They go up on the corner and a superplex nearly breaks the ring.  And here’s Henry to try to rip the door off.  Thankfully it didn’t take as long as it did when he did it on Smackdown a few years ago.  Henry comes in and beats up Big Show, allowing Del Rio to escape at 5:23.

Rating: D. Just…no.  A cage match that lasts 5:23 and has outside interference completely misses the point of the thing.  Henry stays intimidating and interesting for about five minutes and then once he loses he goes back to being a bunch of nothing again.  One of the worst cage matches I’ve seen in a very long time.

Henry rams the door into Show who is against the wall of the cage, making it break and fall to the floor.  Show gets laid out and Henry yells a lot.  The cage breaking was cool.

We recap Kelly winning the title last week.

Nikki Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Brie vs. Kelly at MITB.  It’s a submission match.  Oh sweet mercy help up.  Nikki goes after the arm and grabs a Fujiwara Armbar.  And never mind as Kelly reverses into a Boston Crab for the tap at 1:18.  They beat Kelly down post match and Eve makes the save.

Video on Andy Levine winning Tough Enough.  He talks about getting slapped and taking the Stunner after being hired.  We see various people talking about how Andy is promising and all that jazz.

The wheel is spun for Rey’s match and it’s a tornado match.  It’s him and Riley vs. Miz/Swagger with no tagging.  Rey leaves and of all people Diamond Dallas Page pops up to push his WCW DVD.  Drew McIntyre comes up and says the old guys are taking up his TV time.  He says they have ten minutes to leave and walks into Sweet Chin Music.  Shawn wants the DVD because he never watched WCW.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio/Alex Riley

 

No tagging remember.  Rey vs. Swagger and Miz vs. Riley are the pairings to start us off.  Mysterio and Swagger stay in the ring and Riley gets beaten down.  Miz and Swagger set up for a Doomsday Device but Miz gets crotched.  Seated senton from the apron takes down Swagger and Riley gets a hiptoss from the top for two on Miz as we go to a break.

Back with Miz and Swagger beating down Riley as Rey is already down.  Riley comes back and gets a rollup for two on Miz.  Rey tries a springboard but jumps into a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster on Miz’s knee.  Swagger and Riley fight to the floor and Miz tries s superplex but is knocked back to the mat.  Seated senton hits and the returning Swagger is sent into Miz.

Riley pulls the ropes down to send Swagger to the floor.  Big kick to Miz gets two for Rey.  Another kick sets up the 619 but Swagger breaks it up.  Riley gets a spinebuster to Swagger for what looked like three but Miz saved just in time.  Reverse DDT gets two for Miz.  Cactus Clothesline sends Riley and Miz to the floor as Swagger hits a big boot to Rey for a close two.

Gutwrench bomb is countered into the 619 which is countered into the ankle lock.  They’re in the ropes but that doesn’t matter I guess.  Riley makes the save and there’s the 619 position.  Riley drills Swagger and then the 619 hits.  Inverted (kind of) DDT sets up the top rope splash for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. This got a lot better as the match kept going.  Riley keeps getting pushed harder and harder which is a good sign for him.  The tornado aspect helped a lot here as it kept things from getting boring.  They let the guys do all of their stuff and the false finishes were pretty awesome too.  Pretty awesome for a TV match.

Rey might have hurt his knee.

Quick video on Shawn’s new show.

Truth spins the wheel after checking for a conspiracy.  Truth vs. Cena will be a tables match.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

 

Tables match here.  Truth gets a right hand to start but walks into a suplex to give Cena the advantage.  Table is loaded up but Truth beats Cena to it.  Surfboard hold goes on by Truth as the fans are split on Cena again.  Dropkick puts Truth down.  AA is blocked into the suplex into a Stunner by Truth.

Truth sets up a table in the corner as Cena is getting up.  A suplex into it is reversed though and both guys are down.  Truth charges at Cena but goes over the top and they both hit the floor.  Cena puts him into the steps and takes a table from the aisle to put in the ring.  Apparently the one that was already in there isn’t to his liking.  AA is loaded up but Punk comes out to move the table.  Cena and Punk brawl and Truth manages to hit a shoulder block/spear to put Cena through the table to end it at 5:08.  Punk is wearing an Austin shirt or a great imitation of one.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match due to the time limit but overall these two don’t have much chemistry for the most part.  Punk was the main thing here and that’s fine.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with this because it could go anywhere for the most part, namely due to the uncertainty of whether or not Punk is leaving.  Match was worthless though.

Post match Punk sits on the stage and says he doesn’t hate Cena.  He even likes him more than most people in the back.  Cena isn’t the best though, at least not in the ring.  Punk says that Cena is only the best at kissing up to Cena.  He’s even better than Hulk Hogan was at it.  He’s not as good as Dwayne though but he’s close.  Punk says he’s the best wrestler here and has been since day one when Paul Heyman saw something in him.  He’s a Heyman guy, just like Brock Lesnar was and he left too.  There are some named you never hear anymore.

Punk talks about how he’s tired about not being on souvenir cups or on the front of the program or in movies or on a show on USA or on Conan or Fallon even though he should be.  He’s not even in the opening video of the WWE shows.  Some fans are cheering and Punk says that’s a big problem with him leaving because they’re sipping out of the cups he’s not on.  He’s winning the title and might defend it in New Japan or Ring of Honor.  “Hi Colt Cabana.”  Vince is a millionaire and not a billionaire because of the idiots he surrounds himself with.

Punk says that the company might be better off when Vince is dead because then the company is going to his idiot daughter and worthless son-in-law.  He has a personal story about the bullying campaign and his mic is cut off, ticking him off before they cut the cameras and end the show.  This was mind blowing stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was right in the middle but some of the matches are good enough for the show to work.  I’m not a fan of the gimmick shows for the most part, especially three in a row.  The tornado tag was rather good and hopefully sets up Miz vs. Rey which is a feud we haven’t seen before.  Thankfully next week we get back to the regular stuff which I’ve missed over the past month.  Not bad show here but there were definitely bad parts to it.  Punk’s promo pushed this up from a C+.

Results

Kane b. CM Punk via countout

Sin Cara b. Evan Bourne – Headscissors into a mat slam

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Del Rio escaped the cage

Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Boston Crab

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 2011
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s another three hour Raw coming off a rather weak PPV last night in the form of Capitol Punishment.  It’s Power to the People tonight which more or less means Viewer’s Choice, as the fans are going to pick the matches and the participants in them.  This was rather interesting last year so maybe we’ve got a winner on our hands.  Let’s get to it.

 

You’re going to get three options and you text in your selection of A, B or C.

Here’s Punk to open the show.  Last night he promised the most honest act in WWE history.  He sits down in the middle of the ring and says that he wouldn’t trust the people with the content of this show.  After all, they choose to live in Baltimore, Maryland.  Punk says they can’t pick what he’s going to do tonight.  He’s the best wrestler (his word) in the world and he’s beaten Cena and Mysterio within the last week.

Wins and losses still mean something and they mean he’s the #1 contender.  It’s not a debate or argument.  Based on what he’s done, it’s fact.  He wants the GM to send an E-Mail and make it official.  He’s not going anywhere until he’s named #1 contender to the WWE Championship of the World (spoken like Road Dogg used to say it).  The GM says he’ll take the demands under consideration but right now Punk needs to leave the ring.

Punk seems annoyed and there’s another E-Mail, with the GM saying it more emphatically this time.  Punk says no and makes snow angels minus the snow.  Another E-Mail says he was going to be named #1 contender later but since Punk disrespected him it’s Punk vs. Alberto for the spot later.  Punk says he’s used to people making bad decisions but Alberto has one big win which was last night.  Another E-Mail makes it a triple threat with Rey added in.  Punk is limping as he leaves.

First vote: Who does Brie Bella defend the title against?

Eve

Kelly Kelly

Beth Phoenix

Back with the results:

Eve: 11%

Kelly Kelly: 53%

Beth Phoenix: 36%

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Cole mistakenly says Kelly is a former champion.  Brie runs early on and Nikki teases interference, allowing Brie to get in a shot and take over.  Off to the chinlock with Kelly in trouble.  Kelly starts her comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two.  Kelly tries a victory roll out of the corner but Brie reverses ala Owen Hart.  That gets reversed as well though into another victory roll position and Kelly wins the title at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well this was only about three years too late but she finally won it I guess.  She’s gotten a bit better in the ring but this isn’t much of note.  Not a horrible match but this was incredibly generic.  The Bellas were more or less done as champions though so there’s not many reasons to not make this switch.

Lawler does a quick interview post match and Kelly starts crying as she says power to the people.

Video on Bourne who can jump a lot.

Second Vote: Who does Evan Bourne face?

Jack Swagger

Mason Ryan

Sin Cara

Results say:

Jack Swagger: 19%

Mason Ryan: 51%

Sin Cara: 30%

Evan Bourne vs. Mason Ryan

 

Kind of surprised by that actually.  Ryan stalks him to start but Bourne can’t get a single thing going.  The fans chant something that sounds like Batista as he uses a lot of offense like Big Dave.  Bourne gets a dropkick in and Ryan shrugs it off.  A pair of backbreakers set up a fallaway slam and have Bourne barely able to fight back at all.

Ryan puts him on the apron where Evan is able to get some kicks in.  Jumping knee in the corner has Ryan in trouble…and never mind as he gets an easy gorilla press slam to take over again.  And then Ryan screws up by putting Bourne on the top rope in Shooting Star position.  That misses and Bourne gets an ugly small package for two.  Bourne goes up again but jumps into a Side Effect for the pin at 4:06.

Rating: C. Not bad here in what might have been Ryan’s longest singles match to date.  Bourne was kind of handicapped here but he was trying at least.  Ryan is getting better very slowly but it’s coming.  With his look and power it’s not like he has to do that much in the ring, and they’re playing to that.

Third vote: Pick Kane vs. Mark Henry’s stipulation.

Body Slam Challenge

Arm Wrestling

Over the Top Challenge

Raw Roulette is back next week.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

Pre match Henry says when people mess with him, they get punished, just like Big Show last night.  There are two differences between Show and Henry.  When Show walks the Earth, the Earth shakes.  When Henry walks the Earth, the people shake.  Isn’t that one difference?  Bigger isn’t better in this case.  The results are up next.

The people say:

Body Slam Challenge: 13%

Arm Wrestling: 52%

Over the Top Challenge: 35%

Uh….ok then.  If you’ve ever seen an arm wrestling match on a wrestling show, you know what’s going on here.  After a bunch of stalling we get going.  Henry drills Kane once he was in trouble for the DQ.  They brawl a bit and Henry hits him with the table.  Henry takes him to the floor and hits the World’s Strongest Slam through the table like he did to Big Show last night.

Truth is up next.

Here’s R-Truth to complain about how the conspiracy is still going strong.  He says that it wasn’t the computer that got him last night.  It was Little Jimmy.  And the Big Jimmy too.  He got got by Little Jimmy!  Cue Christian of all people who goes on his usual thing about how the people made him face Orton five days after winning the title.  The setbacks are due to the people, not him.

Last night though it was due to the bad refereeing.  We get a shot from last night with Christian having his foot under the ropes.  He actually does have a point in that one.  Christian demands that justice be served.  He only needs one more shot.  Truth asks how many chances he’s had.  That’s not the point though.  At least Christian has been champion.  Last night Truth got got by Little Jimmy!  Christian: “Who is Little Jimmy?”  Truth goes into his “the Little Jimmys want me to be a good R-Truth” thing but here’s Miz to interrupt again.

Miz says that he’s the only one that has a chance to complain because there was a partisan referee last night.  Christian makes fun of Miz because he was the only one not in a title match.  This turns into a bizarre three way yelling match of them shouting REALLY, RANDY, RILEY and ultimately JIMMY at each other back and forth.  This was hilarious in the weird way.  Teddy Long breaks it up and says that tonight it’s a six man main event with these three against Cena, Orton and Riley with the people picking the stipulations.

Fourth vote: Pick the stipulations for Kingston vs. Ziggler for the US Title.

2/3 falls

Vickie barred from ringside

Submission

The results say:

2/3 falls: 51%

Vickie barred from ringside: 31%

Submission: 18%

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

2/3 falls here then.  Kofi is rather aggressive to start us off, taking over with relative ease.  He kicks Dolph to the floor and then stays all aggressive on him with punches and chokes.  Kofi misses a dive though and it’s time for a break.  Back and it’s 1-0 Dolph who got the fall using the Zig Zag during the break.  Dolph uses chinlocks and an armbar to keep his advantage.  Nice dropkick by the champion.

Fameasser gets two.  Dolph keeps hammering away but Kofi gets the SOS out of nowhere to make it 1-1.  Neckbreaker takes over for Dolph again and it’s back to the chinlock.  Kofi hits a slingshot to send Dolph into the post ala Hennig and takes over with strikes.  Double stomp gets two.  Dolph grabs a rollup with tights for two.  Kofi goes up and hits something similar to Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell for two.

Dolph hits the floor and grabs the belt but it misses Kofi.  Trouble in Paradise hits but they’re on the floor.  Back in that gets two as Dolph puts his fingers on the rope.  They kind of messed it up as Dolph grabbed the rope a half second late but it was called anyway.  Dolph tries to run again and this time gets a shot with the microphone for the DQ at 12:35.

Rating: C+. The third fall was better but the first two were kind of weak.  The problem for these two is that they’ve fought so many times that it’s kind of getting old.  The matches are still pretty good but we can only see them go at it so many times.  They need something else to do.

Cole rants about the people having the power tonight due to Austin and we get a clip of that being decided last week.  The computer being destroyed was kind of funny.

Fifth Vote: Pick the stipulations for the triple threat.

No DQ

Falls Count Anywhere

Submission

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Alberto says that what happened to Show and Ricardo was destiny, not bad luck.  Him winning tonight is also destiny.  The results and the other entrances are next.

No DQ: 23%

Falls Count Anywhere: 66%

Submission: 11%

Rey grabs rollups on both guys to start us off.  Standard triple threat style here with one guy being down while the other two do their thing.  We head to the floor with Punk hitting a powerbomb for two on Alberto.  Seated senton off the apron gets two on Punk.  Back and Rey takes over on Punk getting some covers off a headscissors.  Alberto takes Rey down and it’s heel vs. heel for awhile.

GTS doesn’t work but Alberto gets his Codebreaker to the arm for two.  Rey comes back in and gets a rana on Alberto to set up the 619.  Punk is put in the same position but he catches Rey in the GTS.  Alberto breaks that up and Punk kicks him in the head for two.  Tower of Doom spot sees Alberto powerbomb Punk who suplexes Rey.  Covers get two on both guys.

Del Rio takes over but misses a charge, ramming his shoulder into the post.  Rey sets for a dive on him but Punk breaks it up.  A charging Punk eats feet and Rey hits something like a Swanton before immediately popping up and hitting a suicide dive to take Alberto out.  Rey gets a seated senton for two.  They go to the corner and Rey is knocked into the cross armbreaker.  Punk drops a leg on Alberto to break it up and get two.  Rey takes Alberto down and hits the springboard splash.  Punk pops back in and sends Rey into the post so he can steal the pin on Alberto at 11:35.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with them doing a lot of the usual stuff that you would expect them to in a triple threat.  Not bad here and Punk winning is right, but I kind of fail to see the point in having Rey out there.  If Punk already beat him once, why would he be in this match?  Either way, not bad.

Punk talks about his honesty thing.  He’ll win the title on July 17 at Money in the Bank.  That day is also significant due to it being the day his contract expires.  He’s leaving after it and he’s taking the title with him.  That’s a new one.

Sixth vote: Pick the stipulation for Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan.

Paper Bag Match

No Count Out

Collegiate Rules Match

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

 

Paper Bag Match: 43%

No Count Out: 51%

Collegiate Rules Match: 6%

Not exactly the best set of options here.  Bryan kicks him to the floor almost immediately and gets a suplex onto the ramp.  It’s just no count out, not hardcore/falls count anywhere mind you.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gets two.  Cody gets a sick looking Beautiful Disaster kick for two.  Bryan almost gets the LeBell Lock but gets caught in a slingshot instead.  Small package gets two but Bryan reverses into one of his own for the pin at 2:40.  Nothing of note here but it wasn’t bad.

LeBell Lock goes on Cody post match but DiBiase comes in for the double beatdown.  There’s an Alabama Slam to Bryan and Cross Rhodes followed by the bagging.

Seventh vote: Vickie Guerrero will have a dance contest with who?

Michael Cole

Jerry Lawler

Booker T

Before the results we recap the show so far.

Vickie says she’ll win, talking about how she used to have a bunch of dancing experience, including exotic with the stage name of peaches.  She even quotes Sable with the men who came to see me line.  Striker has to dance with her for some reason.  She kisses him and I think he liked it.  Or maybe hated it.  Leaning more towards hated it.

Here are the results of the poll.

Michael Cole: 47%

Jerry Lawler: 39%

Booker T: 14%

Well sure why not.  Cole has way too much fun doing this, even throwing in the Worm (kind of) and the Spinarooni (about as good as you would expect).  Oddly enough Cole gets a better reaction and wins the thing.  Vickie slaps the taste out of his mouth post match.

Eighth vote: The stipulations for the main event.

One Fall to A Finish

20 Minute Time Limit

Elimination Match

Gee I wonder which it’ll be.

Christian/R-Truth/The Miz vs. John Cena/Randy Orton/Alex Riley

 

One Fall to A Finish: 15%

20 Minute Time Limit: 6%

Elimination Match: 79%

The bell is after the break.  Miz vs. Cena start us off which goes nowhere for the most part.  Off to Orton and Christian as we keep our brand representation balanced.  They keep hammering on Orton’s head to play up the concussion aspect.  Truth throws on a chinlock and Randy can’t make a rope for a good while.  A suplex gets him out of it though but Christian blocks the tag.

Killswitch and RKO both are countered and a reverse DDT gets two.  Spear is caught in a powerslam and it’s hot tag to Riley.  Riley actually cleans some house on all three guys and escapes the Killswitch.  He almost gets the inverted DDT on Miz and Christian but gets caught in a double team.  Cena comes in and the distraction allows Miz to get the Skull Crushing Finale to go up 3-2 and we take a break.

Back with Orton being covered for two by Miz off a move we didn’t see.  Orton gets a shot in and it’s off to Cena.  Here’s the finishing sequence on Miz but the AA is blocked.  Neckbreaker gets two for Miz.  Running clothesline in the corner hits and Miz goes up.  He misses a double axe but jumps into the STF.  Truth makes the save though and everything breaks down for a bit.

Everyone gets a shot or two in on Cena until it’s off to Truth.  Sitout gordbuster gets two.  Cena gets a fisherman’s suplex to break the momentum and it seems like they mess something up as Cena lays there like a foot from Orton for about ten seconds but he never makes it.  Off to Miz who walks into the AA to make it 2-2.  Truth comes in and throws on a chinlock for a bit.

Off to Christian who misses a top rope splash/headbutt to put both guys down.  Double tags bring in Truth and Orton.  Powerslam to the nutjob and Orton goes all psycho.  Elevated DDT hits.  Christian breaks up the RKO and Truth misses an axe kick.  RKO gets us down to the Super Best Friends vs. Christian.  Orton walks into a spear and Christian pins him.  He walks into the AA but grabs the rope to escape.  The sore loser known as Randy Orton hits an RKO, allowing the STF to end Christian at 20:00.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here but just kind of there as a main event six man.  The twist to it helped a bit but at the same time it didn’t really mean much.  As always WWE more or less burns a week off after a PPV which is really annoying but it’s the way things work anymore.  Wasn’t impressed here and this was just ok at best.

Overall Rating: D. Did not like this at all for the most part.  The choices were ok for awhile and then they got into the standard pattern of two options that suck and one good one which is more or less a guaranteed pick.  Other than Punk vs. Cena being set up, there wasn’t much that actually happened tonight and for the second three hour Raw in a row, that’s not a good thing.  Really not a fan here and the whole thing fell pretty flat.

Results

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Victory Roll

Mason Ryan b. Evan Bourne – Sit Out Rock Bottom

Kane b. Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match via DQ when Henry punched Kane

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Kingston won the third fall by DQ when Ziggler hit him with the microphone

Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package

Randy Orton/John Cena/Alex Riley b. R-Truth/Christian/The Miz – STF to Christian

Capitol Punishment 2011
Date: June 19, 2011
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Time for another B show PPV.  The main events are Orton vs. Christian III and Cena vs. Truth for the titles.  This has a bit of a better feel to it than Over the Limit, but I’m not sure if that’s going to be enough to carry them to a better result.  At least the main event is fresh and the other one has been well built.  Can’t ask for much more than that.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Truth and his alleged conspiracy complete with videos of various other scandals and conspiracies in Washington DC, such as Clinton and Nixon.

The set is pretty cool looking as it looks like the Capitol Building.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

The red white and blue ropes are a nice touch.  These two have had so many matches that it’s hard for them to not have a decent match.  Kofi goes into his usual controlled frenzy (coming soon to a t-shirt near you) but the kick misses.  Dolph takes over with his basic stuff.  Dropkick takes Kofi down as we make Vickie is fat jokes.  We hear about Dolph at Kent State because we haven’t heard about that in a few minutes.  Kofi gets a cradle for a quick two and that’s about it for this run on offense.

Off to an armbar by Dolph and there’s the sleeper but Kofi gets out of it rather quickly.  Kofi starts his series of strikes and takes over.  He hits a cross body to the back which is kind of weird but whatever.  Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise which misses, but he does grab the SOS for two.  Both guys get rollups for two and the Zig Zag doesn’t work.  Kofi gets something like a double stomp for two.

Up to the corner they go with Dolph trying a superplex.  Kofi knocks him off and hits the huge cross body which always looks awesome but it only gets two here.  Another SOS is countered into the Sleeper which is countered again.  Trouble in Paradise and the Zig Zag miss but Vickie rakes the eyes of Kofi and there’s the Sleeper in the middle of the ring.  Dolph kicks off the ropes to get them back into the middle of the ring and somehow that’s all cool and Dolph is champion.  Well of course not as that would mean consistency in the rules.  Dolph Ziggler is a freaking Triple Crown Champion.

Rating: B-. The ending was a bit confusing as they took too long to announce the winner.  Also the ropes aspect was pretty stupid since Dolph touched them which is usually grounds for a break, but here it’s not because that goes against the planned finish.  Good match though as these two know each other so well so it was a big match of counters and avoiding finishers, which is always fun.

Truth arrives with the title and says that he’s going to a party and Josh is invited.  They walk around and Truth runs into Eve who says she doesn’t know him anymore.  He goes all psycho and dedicates the upcoming win to all the little Jimmys and Jennys.

Miz is tired of hearing about Riley.  He won the world title and he won in the main event of Wrestlemania while Riley was carrying the briefcase.  There’s a line between them and tonight he’s going to prove that.  Serious but good stuff here.

We recap Miz vs. Riley.  It’s the classic mentor/mentee feud with them being all cool until Miz lost the title, which made him blame Riley when things started going downhill.  Riley technically cost Miz the title twice and Riley snapped and massacred Miz a few times on Raw, setting up this match.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

Miz has the case with him now and actually comes out first.  The balloons saying AWESOME are back which are a nice touch.  Riley is the hometown boy so he’s pretty well received.  Cole goes into full on Miz is AWESOME mode, cheering for everything he says and bashing Riley completely.  Miz talks trash and Riley hammers away.  Riley chases him for a bit but charges into a big boot to give Miz the advantage.

The beating begins and Riley is in trouble.  Miz keeps backing away from the punches Riley tries to throw and keeps the advantage.  Low DDT gets two.  Miz likes to throw boots.  Other than that quick opening Riley has gotten beaten pretty badly here.  Riley gets a shoulder into the corner but a second hits the post.  About the 10^th big boot of the match puts Riley down outside.

Miz more or less stalks him and lets Riley miss punch after punch.  One of them finally hits and here’s the comeback.  And scratch that as Miz grabs a chinlock and brings Riley right back down.  Corner clothesline by Miz as Riley is in big trouble.  Double axe off the top by Miz hits which is a pretty rare sight.  Riley goes into the Tree of Woe as King praises him for his ability to punch.

Booker keeps calling for the match to be stopped but Riley gets out of the way of a charging Miz to send Miz’s balls into the post ala Curt Hennig.  Riley hits a spear and takes over.  I’m so over that move it’s unreal.  Spinebuster gets two.  Miz sends him to the floor, only for Riley to get in another shot for two.

Out to the floor we go as Cole runs his mouth even more.  Riley finally has had enough of him and there goes Cole.  Miz gets all ticked off and gets the briefcase which of course doesn’t get him anymore.  Riley grabs an inverted DDT (Edgecution) and gets the clean pin on the Miz.  Never would have seen that one coming at all.

Rating: C+. Rather surprised here as Miz would have seemed to be the pick to win this one.  Either way you can’t say that they’re not trying to push someone else.  I can’t imagine this is the end of the feud and I hope it isn’t, as Miz and Riley have an actual feud between them which helps a lot.

Sgt. Slaughter is in the back with….oh let’s just get it over with.  It’s a bad Obama impersonator and he makes Obamacare jokes and Vickie comes up to him and sings Happy Father’s Day before the Secret Service guys take him away.  This was idiotic.  At least get a guy that looks like him.

We recap Big Show vs. Alberto.  It’s more or less the same video we’ve seen a dozen times now with Show being run over (yet somehow being fine three weeks later) and then going insane on everyone in sight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

 

Show jumps Alberto during his entrance and the beating begins.  After a few seconds of that, here’s Mark Henry to jump Show, sending him onto the announce table and hitting the World’s Strongest Slam through it.  I don’t think the bell ever rang.  Henry comes back and works on the knee of Show for like a second, apparently reinjuring his knee.  The referee starts the count.  HOW IS THIS NOT A FREAKING DISQUALIFICATION???  Unbelievable.  They’re actually letting this go on because the bell never rang.

Show gets in at like 8 and we’re going to do this.  The bell rings once Show is already in the ring after an 8 as there had to be a rule broken in there somewhere.  Del Rio goes after the knee and gets Show down but his cover completely fails.  Show gets a wicked chokeslam to send Del Rio to the floor.  Show’s leg is done though so he can’t follow up.  Del Rio goes up top but jumps into another chokeslam attempt.

Del Rio gets a kick to the knee again though and tries the Cross Armbreaker.  You know, because he’s worked on the arm so much.  Can’t stand idiotic thought like that.  Show easily counters but takes another shot to the leg and Del Rio throws on a Cross Legbreaker to put Show in trouble.  Show gets out of the hold and fights up.  Actually he tries to but keeps falling down and they stop it.  What a freaking mess.

Rating: D-. What a freaking mess this was.  So somehow the referee is all cool with Henry destroying Show like that and just lets the match go on before stopping it due to Show not being able to stand up?  Just a huge mess the entire time and it came off like a total trainwreck.  This is the flaw in Show: you have to do stupid stuff like this to make him seem even remotely beatable and it gets a bit annoying.

Truth rants a bit more about name plates on the belt or something.

Wade Barrett does the always cool walking promo, talking about how he doesn’t like being in DC.  Insert Anthony Weiner joke here.  He makes fun of America and the national debt, saying all of us will be speaking Chinese in about twenty years.  Oh and we need a king of queen.  America is a hollow shell, just like Jackson.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

 

There’s the required USA chant from the idiot fans.  Jackson almost gets the Rack about a minute in but Barrett hits the floor to hide.  Barrett gets a big boot in the corner to take over for two.  Boss Man Slam gets two also.  Pumphandle slam works on the second attempt and Barrett keeps his dominance going.  A running big boot misses though and Jackson starts his comeback.

Another charge misses for Barrett but he blocks the slams.  Wasteland hits and it only gets two.  Barrett’s face is great as he is SHOCKED.  There’s the USA chant again to waste some intelligence.  Here come the slams and Jackson is all fired up.  Torture Rack goes on and we have a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not much here as Jackson did what he needed to but it was still pretty boring.  Not sure where he goes with it either but he needed to win a title to validate himself I guess.  Barrett has already proven himself so the title doesn’t mean much to him anymore.  Not bad but kind of dull overall.

Lawler goes to ask Jackson how it feels to win and he talks about declaring independence or something like that.

More stupid Obama stuff with Beth, Kelly and Santino meeting the bad impersonator.  Santino teaches him the Cobra and the Secret Service panics, taking down Santino.

Punk talks about how DC is corrupt and everyone lies.  He’s not a liar though and makes fun of the term sports entertainer.  Rey isn’t a hero and is just trying to get rich, like everyone else.  Punk is different because he tells you he’s using you.  After he beats Rey, he’s going to do the most honest thing the WWE Universe has ever seen.  Interesting.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

 

Loud Punk chant by the smark crowd.  Basic back and forth stuff to start as Cole talks about how all of Punk’s tattoos have meaning.  He doesn’t say what those meanings are but they have meanings.  They trade strikes until Rey sends him to the floor and hits a baseball slide.  A seated senton off the ropes is countered into a hot shot into the barrier by Punk who takes over.

Surfboard goes on by Punk as I smile because Rey is screaming.  Rey tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up that body scissors that Punk uses rather often.  Rey gets him into the 619 position, only to have his head taken off by a Punk clothesline.  Abdominal stretch goes on and Punk has to lean WAY down to get that hold on.  Drop toehold sends Punk’s nose into the buckle, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.  Little masked freak deserves it.

Rey sends him to the floor and a big old Asai Moonsault takes Punk down.  Punk is shaking his hand like he lost some feeling in it for a bit.  Back in and Mysterio gets something resembling a top rope shoulder block for two.  Punk rotates through the spinning cross body for two.  They speed things up and it turns into a kick off.  Swinging kick to the head gets two for Rey.

Belly to back off the top gets two for Punk who is still shaking his arm and hand a bit.  Rey goes up but a splash eats knees which gets two for Punk.  CM calls for the GTS and fires off some knees but the GTS is countered into a hurricanrana.  A kick to the head gets two for Punk as the crowd is finally getting into this.  Another GTS is countered into the 619 but Punk grabs that into the GTS for the pin, his second on PPV since he beat Taker via submission and both have been over Rey.

Rating: B+. Good match here as these two definitely have chemistry together.  Punk’s speech pre-match is rather interesting as I’m curious as to what the most honest thing in the WWE is and given Punk, that could be a lot.  Maybe a feud with Cena?  As in a proper one minus Nexus?  One can only hope.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which I’m sure you know the story to by now.  Christian won the title and had to defend it five days later against Orton who won it.  Christian slowly went nuts, claiming that it was unfair and then turned heel, bashing Randy with the title.  This is match #3 in their series.  Christian’s heel turn speech is still awesome because it made perfect sense and showed him as a totally insecure guy that wasn’t as confident as he made himself up to be which is the most common criticism of him: he’s overrated.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

 

Orton comes out first here which is kind of surprising.  We get big match intros and they actually check for weapons.  There’s an old school move for you.  First two matches in this series were great so hopefully they can keep that up here.  Orton takes over to start with a bunch of punches and his back arching Thesz Press.  They speed things up and Orton gets two off a shoulder block.

Orton keeps avoiding Christian’s stuff including swatting away a dropkick and casually moving away to let Christian crash to the floor on a dive.  Back in the ring and Orton hits nine punches in the corner.  Always something odd about him I guess.  Booker tries to play up the idea that Orton is shaky due to his recent concussion.  Christian puts Orton head first into the steps and his eyes are starting to mess up.

Christian takes over and works on the neck/head, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Spinebuster gets two.  Orton’s head is all messed up now but he manages to whip Christian into the corner to buy himself a few seconds.  Backdrop puts Christian down and Orton pounds away on the chest.  Christian keeps fighting back with shots to the head and heads to the floor.

That doesn’t last long as Orton pulls him back to the apron and then hits a superplex for two.  RKO and Killswitch are both broken up and Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker that he hasn’t used in years but is still an awesome looking move for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work again so they head to the corner where Orton blocks a good deal of stuff and hits the elevated DDT for two.

Orton goes into his zone but the RKO is countered into a reverse DDT for two.  I love how they keep playing up the history they have with all of these counters to signature moves because they’re so familiar with each other.  Spear misses and Orton tries another RKO but Christian reverses that for the third time and hits the spear for a close two.  Orton pops up with a dropkick to send Christian back into the corner but he walks into the pendulum kick but there’s the RKO out of nowhere and we’re done.  Totally abrupt ending.  Christian’s foot was under the ropes.

Rating: B. Good match but not as good as last month at Over the Limit.  The ending hurt it a bit but I really liked the storytelling they were doing here with the head injury and the counters that went with it.  Good stuff here and they have good chemistry together.  The foot under the ropes might lead to something else but I doubt it.

Christian protests post match but gets decked with the belt anyway.

It’s 10:02 and there’s one match left.  They almost have to throw something out there to fill in time.  They stay in the ring for a LONG time, probably trying to kill off some time.  We see the replay about three times and the foot is clearly under the ropes which Booker and Jerry say is too close to call.

Ad for Money in the Bank which is set up like a fairy tale read by Big Show to Horny who says again after it’s over.  A bit more creative I guess.  The theme song is Shane’s old theme.

Here are the Bellas with some guy named Keith Stone who apparently is a mild celebrity due to something about beer.  They don’t talk or do anything so that’s it.

Recap of Cena vs. Truth.  Truth says that the fans are lied to by Cena and that there’s a big conspiracy going on against Truth.  Everyone else says Truth is nuts, which might be true.  This seems to be the same video from the opening video.

Ah ok there’s a bonus match.  This will help a lot.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

 

The fans want Ryder again.  Let it go already people.  Basic power vs. speed here with no one caring but it’s hard to complain about free wrestling.  Bourne does his speed moves to fly around everywhere and confuse Swagger but Jack catches him and works on the ribs.  We hit the reverse chinlock as the Bellas are in the front row with the beer dude.

Swagger does the pushup on the chest of Bourne which apparently ticks the small man off.  A back body drop of all things gets two for Jack.  Vader Bomb gets two.  Bourne starts his comeback with his usual kicks and basic offense.  He loads up the Shooting Star but has to jump off due to Swagger being up.  Big boot gets two.

Spinning DDT gets two and Bourne busts out the kicks.  Pretty awesome finishing sequence as Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but lands on his feet.  Swagger gets a sweet running charge into the gutwrench powerbomb which is countered into a sunset flip into the ankle lock which Bourne rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. I liked this quite a bit actually but I’m a fan of power vs. speed.  This was just a bonus match and it ate up about ten minutes, making the main event far more realistic with about twenty minutes instead of closer to thirty or thirty five.  That finishing sequence was rather good and the whole thing worked rather well, especially when it’s just a bonus.  Can’t complain about free wrestling, especially when it’s pretty good.

And now let’s end this interesting stuff as we have Obama impersonator come out for Vince’s amusement.  The SNL guy looks more like Obama than this one does.  He has the speech pattern down but he doesn’t sound anything like Obama.  He isn’t the GM because there would be more JR.  “I love that fat bastard.”    He wishes Cena luck and the booing is unreal.

He tries to leave but Booker calls him into the ring, calling him a homey.  The guy gets in the ring and just get the Spinarooni out of the way already.  Yep there it is.  It isn’t funny, no one cares, and this wastes more time.

We recap Cena vs. Truth again in case you forgot about it.  This video is different at least.

Raw World Title: R-Truth vs. John Cena

 

Truth has the belt but Cena is champion.  As scary as it is, I could see Truth getting the title here.  Big match intros set up a mixed reaction for Cena as always.  Feeling out process to start but Truth gets in a shot to take over.  Cena sends him to the floor and we stall a bit.  AA doesn’t work and Truth hits a sitout gordbuster to get two.  The dueling chants keep going as Truth gets a kick in for two.

Truth does a You Can’t See Me knockoff which ended in a legdrop for two.  Spinning forearm gets two.  Cena pulls himself up using Truth’s body.  Truth says Cena can’t see him.  This is kind of a slow paced match as Truth’s offense isn’t all that great.  Big hip toss gets two.  Lawler thinks Cena hasn’t taken Truth seriously enough.  Cena gets up but can’t get the STF, only to get kicked down again by Truth.

Suplex gets two.  This is a pretty dull match actually.  Cena starts his comeback with the shoulder blocks.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits but Truth escapes the AA and hits the suplex into the Stunner “which we’ve NEVER seen before!”  Truth talks to himself a lot but misses a charge in the corner and there’s the STF.  Truth grabs the rope rather quickly though and the axe kick hits out of nowhere for two.  Cena was out fast.

Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA attempt.  Truth counters that into the jumping Downward Spiral for two.  Cena hits the floor which would seem to set up something fishy.  Truth goes out to the other side and is looking all crazy.  He steals a hat from a Cena fan and gets a drink of water.  The fan throws the water in Truth’s face!  The distraction is enough for Cena to pull him in and hit the AA to retain!

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here overall and I wasn’t into it for the most part.  It’s not horrible but it’s just not interesting.  The water going into his face is kind of a nice touch given that Truth did that to a kid on Raw a few weeks ago but at the same time it really wasn’t anything interesting.  Total B show PPV match here and I can’t imagine it’ll go any further, not after Cena beat him clean.

Cena brings the kid into the ring post match and celebrates with the National Guard to end the show.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty weak show overall.  It’s not bad to be sure but overall it feels kind of like it just came and went.  I know I say this a lot but this is a show that would be perfect for the In Your House model.  It’s a B show PPV and that might be being generous.  Cena vs. Truth is a match that’s had a few weeks of build and for the most part, I can’t imagine it continuing after this.  This didn’t feel like an important show at all and while it was ok, it was nothing I’ll ever want to watch again.  That happens far too often in WWE anymore and it’s not good.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Sleeper

Alex Riley b. The Miz – Inverted DDT

Albert Del Rio b. Big Show – Referee Stoppage

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett – Torture Rack

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – GTS

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

John Cena b. R-Truth – Attitude Adjustment

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a three hour show and billed as WWE All-Stars.  The guest GM for the night is Steve Austin so expect some extra fans to be brought in because of him.  It’s also the final show before Capitol Punishment so the final push towards that should happen tonight.  Cena and Truth will probably interact a good deal tonight which should be entertaining.  Let’s get to it.

Cena vs. Punk in the main event.  Oh joy.  The graphics are from the All-Stars game.

Here’s Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual.  Miz says he’s the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week.  Then again you would have to be a moron to know that.  You know, like Alex Riley.  The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001.  No it wasn’t but we’ll let that slide.

Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up there’s Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight.  Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is.  Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things.  The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.

Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil.  Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say.  Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that he’s got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday.  Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no.  Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling.  Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.

Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows what’s good for him he’ll get out of here right now.  Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that it’s not Miz’s time to be a hero.  Miz finally leaves to solid heat.  Here’s Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again.  Del Rio does his usual intro and says it’s time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.

He talks about destiny of course and Austin isn’t all that impressed.  He says he’s not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future.  Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rio’s skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.

Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

The bell is after the break.  Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two.  Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm.  Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands.  Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but can’t hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope.  Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50.  Not much at all here.

Alberto still won’t let go and here’s Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto.  Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo.  Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go.  Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.

Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.

Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan

 

They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start.  Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes.  The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus.  Cole keeps ignoring Lawler’s jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved.  Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan.  Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.

Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me.  They’re so basic but they look good and convincing.  Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save.  Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them.  Jackson takes Barrett down again and here’s Cara.  Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45.  Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.

Rating: C. Pretty basic here and they kept Cara out of the ring on a live show which more or less can’t be a bad thing at all.  He needs an actual story rather than just going out there and doing random high spots.  Either way, this was fine for what it was, which was just a way to get the Smackdown midcard on the show.

Back and here’s Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon.  And here’s R-Truth to end that.  They’re all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently.  He wants to try but he’s going to become the new champion on Sunday.  Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesn’t work.  Truth grabs him and….hugs him.  Ok then.  Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Awesome!  Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and here’s Austin on the big screen.  Truth has a match later with John Morrison!  He’s back!  Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves.  Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

 

The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy.  Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner.  Not that any of them hit but he’s trying at least.  Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two.  Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.

Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline.  High Cross doesn’t work and he loads up the Cobra.  Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra!  Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50.  Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.

Orton is up next.

We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.

Here’s Orton to a fairly tame reaction.  And Orton’s mic doesn’t work.  He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk.  He won’t punt him or try an RKO.  All he wants to do is talk.  Orton says don’t make him come back there.  He might go to the papers otherwise.

Christian pops up on the screen and says he’s earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him.  He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here.  The fans cheer, so of course he’s not coming.  Orton says Edge isn’t here which is a shame.  Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.

That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt.  Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp.  Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save.  There’s an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently.  He won’t wrestle tonight so the GM says go home.  If Orton doesn’t chill he’s stripped of the title.  Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves.  It wasn’t a big charge so it’s ok I guess.  Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Booker jumps in on commentary here.  Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday.  Haven’t we seen that a lot recently?  I guess that’s the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense.  Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors.  And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over.  Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long.  Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up.  Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey….and it’s a DQ?  The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that?  I’d bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all.  Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk.  Rey dives on him instead and here’s Nexus.  Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down.  619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker.  Killswitch leaves Rey laying.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because the majority of it was in the commercial.  I’d bet on this being a mistake.  Either that or this was really stupid booking.  It felt so completely random and the post match stuff seemed like they were trying to fill in time.  I don’t get this at all but it wasn’t that bad.  I guess they want to protect both guys which makes sense at least.

Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up.  She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday.  Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate.  Dolph doesn’t want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him.  Austin says he’s just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises.  So are they split up or not?

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

 

We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth.  And there’s no Morrison.  The music plays again and there’s no Morrison.  Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself.  Truth says he’ll bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back.  To the back we go and someone is out cold.  SHAZAM!  It’s Morrison, still down and holding his neck.  Maybe he’s not back yet.  Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match.  Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case.  Truth has the funniest psycho face you’ll ever see as we go to break.

Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston

 

No pyro for Swagger’s pushups.  Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess they’re still together.  Dolph and Kofi start us off.  Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow it’s Dolph getting the cover.  Odd indeed.  Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two.  Vader Bomb misses though and it’s off to Bourne.

Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but there’s the ankle lock.  Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot.  Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger.  Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55.  Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.

Back and it’s time for Piper’s Pit.  Yep, Piper is drunk.  Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring.  Here’s Miz to say really.  Miz says he’s the next Piper, Piper says there’s never going to be another Roddy Piper.  Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least he’s been WWE Champion.  He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live.  Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World.  Piper says let’s talk about the future, like this Sunday.  Here’s Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend.  Piper says that gave him self respect.  Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.

Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first?  Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about.  “Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS!”  That was great.  Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME.  Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now.  Miz says he’ll put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now.  Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000?  Austin pops up and says do it.  Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee.  Hilarious as well as good segment here.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

 

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

 

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned.  Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately.  Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25.  Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night.  They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks.  This was totally pointless.

We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him.  Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer.  Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy.  Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer.  They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol.  Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer.  Punk: “Can you say the alphabet backwards?”  Austin: “I can whip you backwards.”  Huge pop for that.  No Nexus at ringside tonight.

Here’s Austin for a major announcement.  He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail.  Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it.  Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end.  The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw.  Austin’s watch says there’s some time left so as of right now he’s still the GM.

Next week Austin won’t be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week it’s all about the power of the people.  They’ll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewer’s Choice from when Bret was GM last year.  The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off.  DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER!  He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving.  Oh wait he’s back to have some beers.

Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing.  This one is Smackdown themed.  The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

 

There’s a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time.  Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance.  This is the first time we’ve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but it’s mainly booing.  The dueling chants are going strong quickly.  Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere.  Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and it’s a stalemate.  Cena tries the fisherman’s suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a break.

Back with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch.  Oh and Cole is back on commentary.  Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe.  Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he can’t make it last as Punk gets the rope.  Leg lariat gets two for Punk.

Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner.  Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence.  He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor.  Why don’t more people get that?  Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down.  Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but here’s Truth to annoy a fan.  He offers a sip of water for the fan’s hat.  The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. Good match here for the most part with Punk finally getting the pin that he’s never gotten (I don’t think at least) over Cena.  His reaction post match helped it a lot as he looked like he was a kid on Christmas morning.  Good stuff here between two guys that definitely have chemistry together.

Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t great to say the least but it wasn’t too bad.  It certainly drags at times and I really don’t get the point of the All-Stars aspect, but they needed something to fill in the Draft show that they were probably scheduled to have here.  Not horrible but at the same time there really was no need to make this a three hour show.  I’ve seen worse though, and they pushed the PPV a lot.  Not terrible, but really nothing all that great.

Results

Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes – Springboard Crossbody to Barrett

Sheamus b. Santino Marella – Texas Cloverleaf

Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Air Bourne to Swagger

Roddy Piper b. The Miz – Schoolboy

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina – K2 to Mendes

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Things are a little different tonight as it’s not only Raw but also the Tough Enough finale which is going to delay the start of the main show just a bit.  It’s time for more build to Capitol Punishment as we’ll likely get fallout from last week’s Cena vs. Truth match, probably building to a rematch at the PPV.  Other than that there isn’t much known already.  Let’s get to it.

After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs you’ll ever see we’re ready to go.

The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, here’s Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in.  We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan.  He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.

Truth doesn’t like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didn’t do anything right other than seceding from the Union.  Tonight he’s seceding from the WWE, but he’s keeping the title shot.  He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it.  Vince asks if Truth’s real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours.  Is this college all of a sudden?

Here’s Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot.  Riley comes out and doesn’t say much before Cena comes out also.  Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind.  Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot.  We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that it’s Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee.  Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.

Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty

 

Neither guy gets an intro here.  McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop.  Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline.  He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign.  Cobra doesn’t work and McGillicutty takes over a bit.  Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again.  Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses.  Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.

Rating: D+. This was a bit awkward and didn’t work all that well.  I’m not sure why this was on Raw but I guess it was to give us something a bit weaker after that very high powered opening.  Santino is still rather popular with his same old stuff but if it’s working why change it?  Not much here though as the wrestling was a bit off but maybe that’s why these two are in tag teams.

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins

 

Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials?  When do you EVER see this?  Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas’ entrances.  Nice idea though.  After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant.  Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas’ Twitter.  Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.

Off to the bow and arrow hold.  Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies.  I really don’t want to think about Lawler’s cookies.  Off to Beth who cleans house on let’s say Brie.  We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two.  Everything breaks down and there’s the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26.  Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.

Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni.  He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker.  He says cool and it’s on for tonight.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Didn’t we see this last week?  Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong.  The match starts next.  Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start.  Doesn’t actually connect but it looked good.  Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist.  Rey speeds things up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll.  Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.

Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two.  Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top.  He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe.  Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two.  Belly to back gets two and it’s off to a body scissors by Punk.  Rey is sent spine first into the post and it’s time for a superplex.  Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down.  He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.

Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two.  A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two.  Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time.  Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.

Rating: B-. These two have undeniable chemistry in the ring and it showed again here.  They almost always have a solid match and while this wasn’t quite as good of a match as they’ve had before, it was certainly fine for about a 9 minute match on Raw.  Good stuff here, as expected from these two.

New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane.  When you can almost save one of these things, that’s a great sign.

Cena warns Riley to not cross him.

3 hour Raw next week and it’s WWE All Star Night.

Here’s Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce.  The word for Alberto right now is slander.  People have been saying he’s a hit and run coward.  It was an accident though and here’s the video to prove it.  We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize.  Here he comes….and it’s Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches.  There’s food being eaten and a catcher’s mitt for a hand.  Well they have the small bits down.

Alberto says he’s pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car.  All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl.  Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him.  He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.

Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot.  He’s up next.

Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder

 

Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesn’t even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary.  Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder “Zack Ziggler”.  Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face.  Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two.  The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner.  Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds.  Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as there’s Trouble in Paradise and we’re done at 2:44.  Just a quick match here and nothing of note.

Booker is up next.

Miz vs. Riley at the PPV.

Booker T vs. Jack Swagger

 

Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere.  He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl.  Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over.  Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again.  And that’s it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to get Booker on TV, surprisingly enough not for a plug for the Nitro DVD.  It makes sense to not have Swagger lose clean here as Booker probably isn’t going to be a regular wrestler.  Not much at all but nothing really bad here.  It’s hard to complain about a match that barely broke the threshold for a rating.

Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press.  There’s a double Spinarooni as well.

Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth

 

Austin is referee remember.  We get all four entrances but the bell is next.  Back and it’s Miz vs. Cena to start.  Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth.  Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena.  Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so it’s back to Cena vs. Miz again.  Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.

Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break.  Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Riley.  DDT gets two for Miz.  Miz gets in Austin’s face and then misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the corner.  Truth breaks up the tag and it’s off to the chinlock again.  Truth does the always stupid looking jump off the middle rope into the boot of the other guy and it’s off to Cena.

John hits his usual stuff on Miz and sends Truth to the floor.  There’s the STF but Miz doesn’t tap.  Truth brings in a chair, only to get dropkicked down almost immediately.  Double clothesline and Cena and Miz are both down.  Riley pops up behind Cena with the briefcase but pops Miz with it.  A Stunner sets up the AA to end Miz at 10:43.

Rating: C-. Didn’t really like this here as Riley needed to get some ring time and really wasn’t much of a factor here.  It was far too similar to the main event from I think two weeks ago where Bret was referee.  Not awful but I wasn’t all that into it and the match kind of dragged a bit.

Post match the GM says Austin has overstepped his authority so we’re going to reverse the decision.  Another E-Mail makes Austin guest GM next week.  Cole gets covered in beer and takes a Stunner and AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Energetic show here but the wrestling held it back a bit.  They seem to have completely changed directions in the past few weeks and I think it’s working ok for the most part but not great.  Some of the feuds are interesting but seem shaky at the same time.  Capitol Punishment is more or less set on Raw and that’s a good thing.  Not a great show but overall I think it worked.

Results

Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty – Cobra

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix b. Bella Twins – Glam Slam to Nikki Bella

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk – Top rope splash

Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder – Trouble in Paradise

Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout

R-Truth/The Miz b. Alex Riley/John Cena via disqualification when Austin stunned Miz