Monday Night Raw
Date: April 29, 2013
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re back stateside now and the big story is that Cena has an injured Achilles. Based on the fact that he kept wrestling while in Europe, odds are the injury isn’t that bad. Other than that we’re likely about to get more of the Extreme Rules card filled in now. It’s interesting that other than the cage match, I don’t think any of the matches have any gimmick attached unless you count a triple threat as EXTREME. Let’s get to it.

Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Zeb Colter vs. Big E. Langston

The winner of this gets to pick the stipulation for the triple threat at Extreme Rules. Colter immediately heads to the apron to leave Langston vs. Ricardo. I don’t think you have to tag here but it’s not entirely clear. Langston of course runs over Ricardo like he’s not even there and toys with him in the corner for a bit. Ricardo jumps over a charging Big E. in the corner and fires off some shots of his own. Colter comes in to pound away as well but Langston is mainly just annoyed.

Ricardo goes after Colter and the fans chant USA. Langston takes Ricardo’s head off with a clothesline but Zeb shoves him away like an idiot. Colter gets stared down and claims a knee injury, allowing Ricardo to hit Big E. in the back with the bucket. This has no effect whatsoever, much like a shot to the head. Langston suplexes Ricardo down as Swagger, Del Rio and Ziggler all run in. All three and Langston fall to the floor and Colter tries a quick cover on Ricardo. AJ makes the save and Ricardo rolls up Colter for the pin at 5:00. Alberto gets to pick the stipulations at Extreme Rules.

Rating: D+. How do you rate something like this? The whole point was to give us a mess and have Langston not win at the end. Either way, I don’t think any stipulation is going to make that much of a deal given how much they’ve devalued all three guys in the past few weeks. I can’t say this was bad because it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than this. At least Langston didn’t get pinned.

We talk about Cena’s injury for a bit. He’s here tonight.

Today is World Wish Day and we see Cena granting another Make-A-Wish on the Today Show. Love him or hate him, this is always cool to see.

Cena comes out with the kids for World Wish Day. That’s awesome.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Rhodes gets the jobber treatment by just being at ringside when Orton comes out. Orton shoves Cody around to start and throws him over the top, only to have Cody skin the cat. Randy is fine with that and dropkicks Cody down twice for two. Cody finally gets in a shot and stomps away in the corner as Cole continues to list off stats about everyone. All of the announcers have been doing it for the entire match. Orton comes back with a suplex for two and the fans want the RKO, only to have Cody dropkick Orton to the floor instead. Randy clotheslines Rhodes down on the floor and heads back inside as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cody into the post on the floor before getting kicked off the apron by the Disaster Kick. That gets a few near falls back inside before Cody just goes nuts on Orton and stomps away. Off to a chinlock on Orton before Cody uppercuts him down for no cover. Back up and Cody drops an elbow on the back of the head for two, only to go up again and get crotched down. Orton superplexes him down for two and loads up the RKO, only to be countered into the Cross Rhodes for two. Cody loads up the Disaster Kick again but jumps into the RKO for the pin at 16:08.

Rating: C+. I wanted to hate this match but the near fall off Cross Rhodes helped it a lot. The problem at the end of the day is that Cody has been crushed so far over the last 18 months that it’s impossible to take him as a serious threat to anyone anymore. This got better after some time but it was more long than good.

Post match Orton says he’s more focused than ever and catches a sneaky Cody in another RKO for good measure.

The Bellas plug the E! show and brag about how good they look.

We get a look at the Divas show.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

Naomi does all of her jumping and flipping to start before knocking Brie to the floor. The Bellas switch and Nikki rolls up Naomi for the pin at 1:15.

Oh wait Cameron complains to the referee and gets the decision switched to a DQ. The Funkadactyls get beaten up post match.

Here’s the Shield without even getting to hear the beginning of their entrance. They talk about beating everyone from Ryback to Rock to Sheamus to Cena and now Undertaker. We get some clips of all the attacks and Ambrose starts talking about their match with Cena/Ryback tonight, only to be cut off by 3MB. They say they’re going to rock Shield’s party tonight and the fight is on. The Band is of course beaten up and here’s HELL NO for the save. Shield runs from the two of them so the champs beat up 3MB.

Cena is getting his ankle taped when Ryback comes in. Ryback talks some trash but Cena says he’s hurt and not injured. Ryback says he can’t take any chances tonight.

Back and the announcers talk about a Dominos pizza tracker and say the King’s pizza will be here in 40 minutes.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title of course. Kofi takes him down to start and hits a hard kick to the head followed by a spinning springboard splash for two. Ziggler comes back with a headlock to slow things down but Kofi hits a jumping back elbow to put the world champ down. Kofi heads to the apron for some kind of springboard, only to be dropkicked off the apron as we take a break. Back with Dolph holding a reverse chinlock followed by a clothesline in the corner to put Kingston down again.

After a neckbreaker from Dolph, Kofi moves out of the way of a splash in the corner to put both guys down. Kofi fights out of the corner and hits his elbows to the face and the Boom Drop, only to have Dolph duck Trouble in Paradise and DDT Kofi down for two. The SOS gets two for Kingston and there’s Trouble in Paradise, but AJ puts Dolph’s foot on the ropes. Langston tries to revive Ziggler but Kofi takes them both out with a dive.

Back in and the top rope cross body gets two on Dolph, drawing AJ in for a distraction. Zigger gets two off a rollup as does Kofi, but Dolph’s dropkick is caught in a slingshot into the corner. A springboard spinning splash misses Ziggler and the Zig Zag is good for the pin on Kofi at 12:18.

Rating: B. Good match here from these two as is their custom. They’ve fought each other so many times that their chemistry has had a great chance to grow, making for some great matches. The interference didn’t help Ziggler any, but at least he won with a clean pin off his finisher for a change.

Post match Langston hits two Big Endings on Kofi.

AJ and Kaitlyn have a staredown in the back. Kaitlyn gets a present and has a secret admirer.

Video on HHH vs. Lesnar.

Ryback comes in to see Vickie and Brad because Cena is out of the handicap match tonight. Vickie offers to make it a six man tag with HELL NO but Ryback declines.

King’s pizza is delivered to fans by mistake.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder shows us a clip from earlier tonight with Colter losing to Ricardo. Swagger runs over Ryder to start and puts on a fast armbar. A powerslam gets two for Jack and there’s a DDT on the leg. Two Vader Bombs crush Zack’s ribs as Swagger can’t pick a body part to work on. A third is countered by Zack raising his feet up and there’s a backdrop to put Swagger on the floor. Ryder hits a baseball slide to take Jack down again but back inside it’s the gutwrench powerbomb and the Patriot Lock for the submission at 3:06.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see a guy who works as hard as Ryder get to show off a bit. I’m still annoyed at WWE for what they did to him last year but at least he’s still got a job. The match was a glorified squash at first but Ryder made it entertaining enough. Swagger’s character is rapidly dying but at least his in ring work is picking WAY up.

Post match Colter hits a right hand on Ryder.

During the break Ryback left the building.

Here’s Mark Henry who says he’s going to prove how strong he is. He has a big rope with him and there’s a red line in the ring. Apparently it’s a tug of war against Tensai. Henry wins with ease so now he’s going to do the same thing with Brodus Clay. Cole: “If you drop your elbow below your knee it’s a foul.” Jerry: “WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Henry wins with ease but here’s Sheamus with a challenge. They start the tug of war and Sheamus actually moves him a bit but Henry easily takes over. Sheamus lets go and Henry goes down, followed by a Brogue Kick to lay Henry out.

We look at the Make-A-Wish stuff from earlier.

HELL NO is in a handicap match with the Shield but Vickie tells Brad she needs him to do one more thing.

Post match Brad Maddox comes in to see Cena (“Hey Braden Walker”) but John says he’s in the main event as HELL NO’s partner.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio

As the match starts we hear, I kid you not, yodeling trivia. Cesaro suplexes him down but gets caught with a running kick to the arm in the corner. Alberto goes after the arm and hooks an armbar. Cesaro comes back with some forearms to the back of the head, only to walk into a hurricanrana. Alberto sends him into the corner and hits the forearms to the back and the Backstabber has Cesaro in trouble. The armbreaker is loaded up but Cesaro rolls to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro holding Del Rio in a chinlock before getting two off the gutwrench suplex. The running European uppercut gets the same in the corner and it’s back to the chinlock. A suplex puts Alberto down again but Alberto fires off some clotheslines to come back. Del Rio goes up but dives into another uppercut. Cesaro charges into the post though, allowing Alberto to hit the low superkick for a close two. The armbreaker is countered into a rollup which is countered into the armbreaker for the tap out at 13:27.

Rating: B-. Another good match in a series of them for the three guys in the world title match tonight. Alberto continues to be solid in the ring although the crowd is only kind of into him. They were chanting OLE for him tonight though which is as good as anything else to get the fans into his match so maybe there’s hope for him.

Post match Alberto announces that it’s a ladder match for the title at the PPV.

It’s time for a dance off between Fandango and Great Khali. Khali says he’s a better ballroom dancer than Chris Jericho and gets to show off with Natalya. After what I think was a tango, Fandango says Jericho was clumsy on Dancing with the Stars. His chick is named Summer Rae and their dance is far better. Piped in noise give the win to Khali and Natalya. Fandango lays out Khali post contest.

Shield vs. HELL NO/John Cena

Shield comes in to fight before the bell but gets sent to the floor with ease. It’s Kane vs. Ambrose to officially start things off with Dean getting beaten down. Off to Reigns who gets thrown around by the big fried freak, only to be taken into the Shield corner and double teamed into trouble. Kane kicks Rollins down and it’s off to Cena but his bad ankle acts up in a hurry, meaning it’s off to Bryan instead.

Daniel fires off some kicks before it’s off to Ambrose vs. Kane again. Bryan comes back in and fires off a bunch of kicks to Ambrose before hooking a surfboard. Kane comes in for a dropkick but the top rope clothesline misses. Off to Rollins for a double suplex and now it’s Kane in trouble for a change as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose working over Bryan before it’s off to Rollins for a kick to the chest and a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. A hard kick to the back of Bryan’s head gets two as Cena plays cheerleader. Reigns hits a Samoan Drop for two but Bryan sends him to the floor, allowing for a hot tag to Kane. Rollins is sent to the floor and there’s the top rope clothesline to Ambrose.

Kane sends Dean to the floor before loading up the announce table. A Rollins distraction lets Ambrose hit a quick DDT to take Kane down but he makes it back in at nine. Ambrose goes nuts on him with knees to the head but gets caught in a quick chokeslam. The hot tag brings in Cena who initiates his finishing sequence on Reigns, only to catch Rollins in the AA. The ankle gives out though and Reigns spears down Cena for the pin at 15:24.

Rating: B. ANOTHER very good match tonight and ANOTHER major rub for Shield. That’s John Cena that they just pinned clean in the middle of the ring. Not Ryback, not Sheamus, but Cena. If you didn’t believe in the Shield before, I’m not sure what it’s going to take for you to do so now. Good main event here and a HUGE moment for Shield.

Ryback is still here. I’m shocked too.

Overall Rating: A. I liked this show WAY better than I have most recently. The main thing here was that they were trying some new ideas. Between the triple threat, the mystery admirer and the tug of war, stories were advanced tonight without using the same old worn out ideas. Couple that with some good wrestling and build for a PPV and I’m rather pleased with the show.

On the other hand, there’s the ridiculous commentary dragging things down. It was like a trivia night from Cole with factoids ranging from tug of war fouls to yodeling trivia. Is that supposed to interest me? Am I supposed to want to buy Extreme Rules more because I hear that stuff? It’s more of a distraction than anything else and was REALLY annoying tonight. Other than that though, very good show.

Results

Ricardo Rodriguez b. Zeb Colter and Big E. Langston – Rollup to Colter

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Naomi b. Brie Bella via DQ when Nikki Bella interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Shield b. John Cena/HELL NO – Spear to Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Word on the street is that Cena injured his Achilles during a match with Ryback.  No word yet on his out time or anything else.  This might be nothing but Achilles injuries can be devastating.

Extreme Rules 2010
Date: April 25, 2010
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 12,278
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.

Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.

Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus

WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.

And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.

Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .

Tag Team Gauntlet

R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.

Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.

Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.

Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.

Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.

Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.

It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the fraeking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!

Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.

Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar

It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.

Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.

Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring as all goodness here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.

HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.

Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.

And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.

Edge is getting ready.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.

Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?

Ad for the Mania DVD.

Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.

No recap actually.

Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights come down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.

Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.

Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.

We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.

He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?

Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just fraeking idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.

However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.

Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.

Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2013
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a taped episode from England, which usually makes for a less interesting show. The main event tonight is HELL NO/Undertaker vs. Shield in a very rare appearance by the Dead Man on the red show. Other than that we’ve got some issues with the roster as there’s a house show in Wales at the same time this was taped, so a lot of people aren’t here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with recaps of the issues between Shield and HELL NO/Undertaker and Ryback and Cena.

Here’s Heyman in the ring who says that he’s acting as advocate for Brock Lesnar tonight. Everyone is wondering about what Brock did to 3MB last week but they’re also wondering about Brock’s challenge to HHH. Tonight we’re going to get HHH’s answer…..via e-mail as he’s not here tonight. Heyman talks about how HHH is a coward….and here’s HHH in the arena. Heyman says he got the e-mail but HHH says he was lying about not being here tonight. He says he accepts and there’s a Pedigree to Heyman.

Jericho vs. Ziggler tonight.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cole shouts WHAT’S UP and kind of dances during the entrance. Cesaro yodels as his humiliating depush continues. Cesaro takes over to start with a forearm to the back of the head and a hard clothesline. The fans start an OLE chant as Cesaro hits a double stomp for two. Truth blocks a kick to the ribs and gets two off a front suplex. Little Jimmy hits a second later for the pin on Antonio at 2:19.

Shield arrives via helicopter. That’s rather awesome.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

Sandow takes Brodus to the corner as the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Brodus comes back with a slam and an elbow drop for two but Sandow hits a kind of Edge-O-Matic and the Wind-Up Elbow for two of his own. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Brodus fights up and hits a corner splash and the t-bone suplex. A Cody distraction lets Sandow roll up Brodus for the pin with a handful of trunks at 3:23.

Rating: D. This was a nothing match as they just went back and forth for a few minutes until we got to the lame ending. That’s likely because the feud and story between these groups is over but it’s continuing because there’s nothing at all to do with any of the guys and they’re locked into these tag teams because the writers can’t think of anything else.

We look at Dolph winning the title again before we see him hitting on the title in the back (I said that correctly). AJ comes up and they make fun of Kaitlyn before sending Langston away so they can make out. Vickie and Brad show up to interrupt and say that if Dolph loses tonight, Jericho is in the title match at the PPV, making it a fatal fourway.

We look at Punk walking out last week.

Shield is here and talks about how no one has made them rest in peace yet but now they’re the judge, jury and executioner.

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here. Jericho gets a quick rollup for two and puts on a headlock. Ziggler comes back with a headscissors on the mat but Jericho fights up and hits a quick dropkick. Dolph slides to the floor for a kiss from AJ but Jericho hits a suicide dive to take Ziggler out as we go to a break. Back with Jericho missing a charge into the corner and hitting his head on the post before falling to the floor.

Back in and Ziggler dances around a bit before gyrating his hips. Jericho reverses a neckbreaker into a backslide but gets clotheslined down almost immediately. Off to a reverse chinlock by Ziggler which transitions into a sleeper, only to have Jericho escape and speed things up. A top rope ax handle “connects” but Ziggler avoids the bulldog.

The Walls can’t go on but an enziguri gets two for Jericho. Chris loads up the Lionsault but Big E. pops him in the head, giving Ziggler a near fall. Back to the sleeper by Dolph followed by a jumping DDT for two on Jericho. The fans of course do the Wave because they’re apparently bored by the match. Jericho gets up first and hits a back elbow before getting in on the Wave as well.

The Lionsault hits knees though and the Fameasser gets two on Jericho. Ziggler sends him into the corner and goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed down for two. The Codebreaker connects for a VERY delayed two as Dolph gets a foot on the rope. Jericho dropkicks Langston down and puts the Liontamer on Ziggler….but here’s Fandango. Well at least his entrance as the fans go NUTS. The distraction lets Dolph hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 16:46.

Rating: B-. Good long match here and it’s nice to see Ziggler get a win over a big name, but not having Fandango show up was a mistake. I know he was on another show tonight, but so was Shield and they’re here. Anyway, not bad for the most part but it’s nothing memorable and they’ve done far better before.

We look at the end of Raw last week with Shield beating down Cena as Ryback watched. Ryback vs. Cena is official for the PPV.

Mick Foley is here and says that it’s human nature for people to look in the mirror and blame someone else, much like Ryback is doing.

Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes

Tensai throws Cody around to start and drops him with a right hand to the face. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two for Tensai but Cody comes back with a neckbreaker and a front facelock. The Disaster Kick gets two and it’s back to the front facelock for a bit. Tensai fights back and pounds away before hitting the rolling cannonball attack in the corner. Sandow gets on the apron for a distraction but gets crushed by Brodus. A Baldo Bomb puts Cody down and the running backsplash gets the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. This just kept going and going with nothing interesting at all. Again, the feud was over weeks ago but it’s an England show tonight so we need to have the same guys fight even though no one is really interested in seeing it anymore. This is one of those matches that could be cut to get this show down to two hours again.

Bryan is freaking out because Undertaker isn’t here yet and wants Kane to call him. Kane: “He’s not the kind of guy to carry a cell phone.” Bryan wants a hug and to show Undertaker diagrams. Kane: “Whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO GIVE HIM A HUG!” As they’re talking someone jumps them but we only see one pair of boots.

We look at the main event of Smackdown with Big Show/Henry beating Orton/Sheamus when Show chokeslammed Orton.

Ryback asks Cena how it felt to be jumped by the Shield. Maybe he and Foley should have a discussion in the ring tonight.

Big E. Langston vs. Zack Ryder

This is exactly what you would expect: Ryder gets in a few shots but gets run over with a clothesline. The Big Ending ends this at 1:43.

Undertaker/HELL NO vs. Shield

Surprisingly enough Undertaker comes out first. Shield surrounds him and the fight is on, only to have HELL NO come out for the save. The brawl is on and we take a break before the bell. Bryan and Ambrose start with Dean getting his arm cranked on over and over. Kane comes in and does the same before it’s off to Undertaker to a big pop. Taker works on the arm as well with some driving shoulders before having Old School broken up. Ambrose charges into a boot in the corner and now Old School connects for two more.

Back to Bryan who gets to fight Reigns. After a hard kick in the corner by Daniel it’s off to Kane for an elbow drop for two. Shield finally uses the numbers game to get Kane down in the corner and pound away on him with everyone getting in a shot. Rollins comes in and goes up top, only to jump into an uppercut from Kane. Hot tag brings in Bryan who immediately speeds things up and moonsaults out of the corner.

A clothesline puts Rollins on his knees and there are the NO kicks to the chest and a big one to the head. Rollins is sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive to take him down. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Rollins into the corner but a running dropkick from Bryan misses. Back with Bryan being hit in the throat by Reigns for two. Off to Rollins as Bryan is in big trouble.

Rollins talks trash so Taker does the throat slit and has a bit of a fit on the apron. Bryan finally gets in a shot on Ambrose and it’s hot tag to Taker. Ambrose gets the Snake Eyes into the big boot and legdrop (brother!) for two. Taker loads up the double chokeslam on Ambrose and Rollins but Reigns spears Taker down for two. Off to Kane for a chokeslam to Ambrose and there’s another hot tag to Bryan. Daniel goes up but gets crotched by Reigns. Bryan still manages to launch the Swan Dive but only hits mat, allowing Ambrose to pin him at 18:58.

Rating: B. Again this was good but it didn’t reach the level that they were shooting for. This was a great moment for Shield though as they get a win over Undertaker which is a big name to add to their list. Odds are they take the tag belts off HELL NO at Extreme Rules, which puts the company in a bind unless they do a triple threat to get the belts off Shield. Anyway, good match here.

Foley is with Cena and says he’s going out there tonight to confront Ryback. Cena gives him a chair to take with him just in case.

Fandango vs. William Regal

BIG ovation for both guys here. Regal signals for the dancing girl to call him. We start with a dance off and Regal takes over with some hard forearms to the face. They trade right hands but Fandango hits a quick Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:43. The dancing girl might be Summer Rae from NXT.

Post match Jericho jumps Fandango and dances with the girl.

Divas Battle Royal

AJ vs. Aksana vs. Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka vs. Layla

Kaitlyn is at ringside and the winner of this gets a title shot. The Bellas have been disqualified from this because of the Twin Magic last week. Tamina immediately superkicks AJ dow and she’s out cold. Naomi and Layla clean house as AJ lays on the mat. Aksana is eliminated and Naomi hits a Rear View on Tamina. Snuka eliminates Naomi from the apron but Layla dropkicks her to the floor. It’s Layla and AJ left but AJ is still out cold. Layla tries to lift the dead weight that is AJ but she pops up and kicks Layla out to win at 3:19.

Rating: N. As in next, because I don’t care about this at all and neither did the audience.

Trailer for No One Lives, which is the latest WE Film staring Brodus Clay. By starring they likely mean featuring for about 18 seconds.

Here’s Foley to call out Ryback. After the cheap pop here’s the monster, now with a skull cap which makes him edgy I guess. Foley talks about how it used to be him standing against every monster and getting back up, but now he can’t do that anymore. Foley shows Ryback the Shield beatdown of Cena last week in case he didn’t see it in any of the three other times it’s aired tonight. Ryback says he loved it so Foley wants to know what happened to the Ryback that debuted last year.

Foley says that it’s inevitable that Ryback is going to be WWE Champion someday and he doesn’t want it to be on a technicality. Ryback goes off on Foley for coming out here year after year and sticking his nose in everyone else’s business when no one wants to hear it. Ryback knows what he’s doing and he doesn’t care about anyone anymore and only wants the title.

Foley pulls the chair back and Ryback slaps him before throwing the chair out. Cena runs out for the save…..and here’s Shield. Cena immediately gets on the apron and Shield goes after Ryback, but Cena makes the save with a chair. They stare each other down and Cena hits the AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The two feature matches delivered so that’s more than enough to give it a good grade, but, say it with me, the extra hour drags it down. The stuff like the Divas battle royal and the Tons of Funk/Rhodes Scholars stuff just dragged the show down because they were clearly there just to fill in five minutes each.

That’s the problem with Raw and WWE in general anymore: there’s good stuff in there, but by the time you get to it you’re so exhausted by the other stuff that it loses its appeal. The lack of the extra guys helped a lot though as they didn’t have to pack in so much stuff tonight, meaning stuff got more time. In other words, the Brand Split would have helped this show a lot.

Results

R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro – Little Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Tensai b. Cody Rhodes – Backsplash

Big E. Langston b. Zack Ryder – Big Ending

Shield b. Undertaker/HELL NO – Ambrose pinned Bryan after a missed flying headbutt

Fandango b. William Regal – Downward Spiral

AJ won a battle royal by last eliminating Layla

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2008
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5:

Monday Night Raw\
Date: April 15, 2013
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s bizarre show with the most interesting crowd in years, we’re now in a far different kind of city in front of a far different kind of people. The main story is that Ryback turned on Cena last week to presumably set up a match for the title at Extreme Rules. Other than that we have Ziggler as the new world champion and Sheamus appearing to feud with Mark Henry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ryback turning on Cena from last week. Punk is also here tonight.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Big Show

Sheamus starts and is immediately sent back into the corner. He tries to fight out of it but his headlock is countered by a belly to back suplex from Big Show. A hard chop sends Sheamus to the apron but he comes back with some shoulders to the ribs and the forearms to the chest. A top rope shoulder gets two for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is easily blocked and Sheamus is sent to the floor. Back in and Show chops Sheamus’ chest half to death before getting two off the Final Cut.

Off to a quick nerve hold but Sheamus fights up, only to be caught in a side slam for two. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but Sheamus counters in an impressive looking electric chair. There’s the hot tag to Orton who pounds away with everything he’s got. A nice dropkick sends Show to the apron for the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered but Sheamus breaks up the chokeslam with a Brogue Kick. RKO finishes Show at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously I don’t know what else there is to say here. Big Show was at a disadvantage and got beat relatively cleanly. You would think that there was a feud for months between these guys but Orton and Sheamus had no animosity here and Big Show lost like it was no big deal, so I guess we’re just moving on.

We look at 3MB interrupting HHH but getting beaten up by Shield.

3MB says they’re calling out Shield.

Here’s 3MB to do just that but instead of Shield, they get Brock Lesnar for a big old beating of the band. Slater gets two nasty F5’s onto the barricade until Heyman comes out to call off the monster. Heyman says that Lesnar is ready for a fight and wants one with Triple H. At Wrestlemania, HHH knocked out Brock Lesnar which proves that HHH is a real man. Brock however doesn’t see things that way. Now the rivalry is 1-1, so we need a third match at Extreme Rules. Since it’s going to be extreme, we’ll make it an old fashioned steel cage match.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro gets a mic and yodels all the way to the ring. Kofi gets a quick rollup and backslide for two each but misses a splash into the corner. A hard clothesline puts Kofi down and there’s the gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro hooks a quick chinlock but Kofi comes back with some strikes of his own. The Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise is ducked, allowing Cesaro to hit the big European uppercut for two. We take a break and come back with Cesaro pounding away with headbutts and punches in the corner.

Kofi comes back with the SOS for two and Trouble in Paradise sends Antonio to the floor. Back inside and Kofi gets two before going up top. His cross body is caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a VERY close two but Cesaro charges into a boot in the corner. Kofi tries a springboard cross body but gets caught in the Neutralizer position. They trade some VERY fast near falls until Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin and the title at 9:25.

Rating: B-. The early part was dull stuff but that pinfall reversal sequence was awesome. The problem here is simple though: we’ve seen this like five times now from Kofi. Kingston is good in the ring and will give you a solid performance every night, but he’s not going to do anything special with the belt, primarily because he’s not going to be given the opportunity to do so. Either way, decent match here.

Kofi says he brought the US Title back home.

We look at Ziggler cashing in last week to win the title. By that I mean they show us the entire match.

Here are Ziggler and company with something to say. Ziggler talks about how great a moment his win was last week but now he needs to top himself. He’s going to start by being better than anyone else ever and not caring about the fans booing him. You show off when you’re better than everyone else, but he backs it up every single night. Ziggler talks about the perks that come with being champion but here’s Del Rio to interrupt.

Del Rio says he’ll get his title back because he wants his rematch right now. Vickie comes out and says the match is starting RIGHT NOW. Alberto is barely able to walk here.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Before the bell rings, here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter says that it was because of Swagger that Ziggler won the title, so it should be Swagger getting the title show. Alberto decks Swagger but as he turns around to face Ziggler. Jack pulls Alberto to the floor and wraps the leg around the post. The Patriot Lock messes up the ankle even more so no match.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Next week it’s Bryan/Kane/Taker vs. Shield from London. Bryan and Titus start things off with the hard kicks to O’Neal’s chest for two. Young comes in and has some better luck, allowing him to take over on Bryan. Back to Titus for a fall away slam before it’s back to Young for a chinlock. Bryan fights up for the hot tag to Kane who cleans house and gets two off a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two so it’s the chokeslam to set up the top rope headbutt for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that I never need to see again. We get it: the champions can beat up the Players and can beat them in about four minutes no matter what disadvantage they may be at. I know this because I’ve seen it happen about eight times now. Nothing to see here other than the champions on TV as usual.

Ryback (not even in the arena) talks about how Wrestlemania was the greatest night of Cena’s career and the worst night of his own. Cena could only go down and Ryback could only go up. We get a clip of the beatdown last week and Ryback says he wasn’t going to wait at the bottom of the ladder anymore after everything he had been through. Ryback talks about Cena giving Ryback his title shot when he was injured.

It made Ryback feel like he belonged but a promise of friendship from Cena is just a guarantee to sit in the backseat. Ryback talks about how Cena left him alone as we see clips of Shield destroying him over the last few months. We see Cena eliminating Ryback to win the Rumble and then Cena leaving Ryback alone to fight Shield and give up the pinfall because Cena had his title shot at Wrestlemania already. Last week Ryback waited for Cena to mention him but it never came, so it’s time for Ryback to step out of Cena’s shadow.

R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title here. Barrett pounds away to start but Truth comes back with a side kick to the face. Barrett shrugs it off and puts Truth on the top rope before pounding away on the chest. Off to a seated abdominal stretch before Truth fights up and hits some clotheslines. The ax kick misses but Little Jimmy hits for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D. Not that this means anything because there’s a battle royal on Main Event for the #1 contendership. It also doesn’t help that one of Barrett’s finishing moves is basically the same thing as taking a Little Jimmy, so the ending was kind of confusing. Also, is there a point to Barrett having the title anymore? He’s lost twice in 8 days as champion now.

Teddy Long comes in to see Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero and suggests Swagger vs. Ziggler tonight. Apparently it’s happening later.

Great Khali/Santino Marella vs. Rhodes Scholars

The Scholars talk about being dwarfs on the shoulders of giants on the way to the ring. Sandow and Khali start things off with the giant hitting a loud chop in the corner. Off to Cody who wants and gets Santino. Rhodes takes over and pounds away before bringing in Damien for more of the same. There’s the Wind-Up Elbow for two but Santino makes his comeback with the usual. The Cobra takes down Sandow but Cody bails to the floor. Hornswoggle hits him in the ribs with a mini Cobra to no effect so Khali steps in for the save. During the distraction, Sandow rolls up Marella for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. Just a quick little tag match here as we try to give the Scholars some credibility after losing for so many months on end. If nothing else their characters are still almost perfect, which is more than you can say about most people in the company today. Also, it’s REALLY nice to see some random teams like Santino and Khali. WWE has such a huge roster so it’s nice to see them use it once in awhile.

Jerry is in the ring and shows us a video of people Fandangoing around the world over the last week. This actually has become a popular trend at the moment. Fandango and his chick come out and dance for a bit before cutting Jerry off during the interview attempt. Fandango asks how Lawler’s hips feel.

He asks if some fans want to go Fandangoing but since this is South Carolina, most fans don’t seem interested. Before they can do it though, the fans have to pronounce his name correctly. He leads them in a pronunciation and the fans sing the song again. Fandango decides they can’t say his name so they can go Fandango themselves.

Cena says he’ll be in the ring if Ryback wants to come see him tonight.

Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Swagger pounds him into the corner to start so the champion slaps him. Dolph runs to the floor and jumps Swagger as he comes back in. A big boot puts Dolph down though and some knees in the corner have him in trouble. Dolph gets an elbow up in the corner and takes Swagger down with a neckbreaker for no cover. The Patriot Lock is escaped but Jack manages to crotch Ziggler on the top rope as we take a break.

Back with Swagger going shoulder first into the post and a small package getting two for Dolph. The running Vader Bomb hits the champion’s feet and Ziggler makes his comeback. A dropkick and the jumping DDT get two but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb position. Swagger drops Ziggler back onto the top rope and gets the quick pin at 9:57.

Rating: C. This match wasn’t half bad until the STUPID ending. I can’t stand this concept of making the champion lose to get someone into the title hunt. You know an easier way to do this? Have Swagger in control and have Del Rio come out for the DQ. Ziggler doesn’t get pinned, Swagger can claim he had the match won, and we get the same result. But hey, why do that when we can just job the champion who has the stigma of being a glorified jobber already?

Post match Alberto pops up and beats up Swagger, putting him in the armbreaker over the stage.

Mark Henry attacks Sheamus again in the back.

Here’s Punk with something to say. The fans chant for Punk in one of the few reactions of the night. Punk doesn’t say anything for a bit before saying he couldn’t enjoy his 434 days as champion because he was always looking around the corner. He wanted that next challenge and found it in the Rock. After that he went after the one that that could be bigger than the title he loved by going after the Streak at Wrestlemania. We get dueling Undertaker/CM Punk chants from the crowd as Punk looks sad. Punk hugs Heyman and walks away beneath the Titantron.

Booker is annoyed at Teddy in the back and makes Ziggler vs. Del Rio vs. Swagger in a triple threat,, presumably at Extreme Rules.

Kaitlyn vs. Nikki Bella

Kaitlyn shoves her around to start and then out to the floor. A baseball slide puts both Bellas down but Kaitlyn is sent into the apron a few times. Back in and Nikki stands on Kaitlyn’s hair as Jerry talks about one Bella being larger than the other. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Kaitlyn fights back with some shoulder blocks. The gutbuster hits but we get Twin Magic, allowing Brie to send Kaitlyn into the ropes for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: D-. The Bellas looked hot and that’s about it. The Twin Magic thing has been done so many times already, but now that one has a double D cup and the other is maybe ¼ of that makes it REALLY difficult to buy as a finish. Then again this is the same company that said Ax and Smash were impossible to tell apart so this is easier to believe.

Sheamus/Orton vs. Big Show/Henry on Smackdown. Should be good.

Here’s Cena to call out Ryback. The monster comes out a few seconds later and Cena says he isn’t shaking in his boots. He says he issued an open challenge last week to any WWE Superstar but instead of coming at him like a man, Ryback waited to come at him when his back was turned. For some reason we cut to the Shield in the back as Cena talks. Production glitch I’m assuming.

Anyway, Cena says that earlier tonight Ryback made us sit through a highlight reel of excuses. There shouldn’t be any excuses though because Ryback should be standing on his own feet. The things Ryback is lacking is something between his ears and something between his legs, not help from Cena. The champion gets ready to fight and they get in each others’ faces, but Ryback walks away. With Cena alone in the ring, here’s Shield. The announcers keep saying it’s 3-2 but Shield only goes after Cena. Ryback just watches as Cena is beaten down and hit with the TripleBomb. Shield stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Let’s see: World, Intercontinental and Divas Champions all get pinned, Fandango is WASTED, and we’re getting HHH vs. Lesnar III when no one even wanted to see a second one. This was one of those shows where there’s good stuff but the bad stuff makes you shake your head so much that you don’t even remember the good. I don’t know if this was some kind of bizarre punishment for last week or what, but it’s REALLY stupid on a lot of counts.

Results

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show – RKO

Kofi Kingston b. Antonio Cesaro – Trouble in Paradise

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Headbutt to Young

R-Truth b. Wade Barrett – Little Jimmy

Rhodes Scholars b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Rollup to Marella

Jack Swagger b. Dolph Ziggler – Powerbomb into a jackknife

Nikki Bella b. Kaitlyn – Clothesline into the middle rope

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Here’s another odd list.

1. Bruno Sammartino
2. Hulk Hogan
3. Steve Austin
4. John Cena
5. Sting
6. Bret Hart
7. Dusty Rhodes
8. The Rock
9. Ricky Steamboat
10. Rey Mysterio
11. The Von Erichs
12. Undertaker
13. Junkyard Dog
14. Rock and Roll Express
15. Andre the Giant
16. Jeff Hardy
17. Ultimate Warrior
18. Magnum TA
19. Randy Savage
20. Mankind
21. Goldberg
22. Jimmy Snuka
23. The Crusher and the Bruiser
24. Shawn Michaels
25. Bobo Brazil
26. Road Warriors
27. Mil Mascaras
28. Bob Backlund
29. Jim Duggan
30. Jack Brisco
31. Chief Jay Strongbow
32. Rob Van Dam
33. Verne Gagne
34. Tito Santana
35. Jerry Lawler
36. Mr. Wrestling II
37. Antonino Rocca
38. Eddie Guerrero
39. Wahoo McDaniel
40. Lex Luger
41. Tommy Rich
42. Ivan Putski
43. Kofi Kingston
44. Pedro Morales
45. Tommy Dreamer
46. Danny Hodge
47. Trish Stratus
48. Bob Armstrong
49. Rocky Johnson
50. Diamond Dallas Page

Jim Duggan should be WAY higher.  Also I’m not sure you can call the Road Warriors good in the most traditional definition of the word.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena at Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Tonight we’ll likely begin the build to Extreme Rules. We didn’t have much time last week as the focus was on Mania fallout and of course next year’s Wrestlemania main event being set up. It should be interesting to see what Cena does to fill the next 50+ weeks. No matches on the Raw side have been announced for the PPV so we should get something tonight. Let’s get to it.

On Tough Enough there was a teaser that Edge says his career might be over. That came out of left field.

Cole gets a special introduction as the only undefeated superstar in the WWE. “What’s up Jerry?”

Here’s Cena to open the show properly. He talks about how this is a great time to be in the WWE Universe because last week there was an announcement made that turned WWE upside down. Cena talks about the announcement that was so big it takes a year to digest. The match can’t just be a match though, so that match needs to be for the WWE Championship. Therefore Cena needs to win the WWE Championship, so he issues a challenge for right now.

Instead he gets Randy Orton. Orton says that Cena may want a title shot but he had his already and lost. Orton says Cena should step aside and let someone that won their match at Wrestlemania get a shot. Cena gets ready to reply but here’s John Morrison. He says we’ve seen this show (referring to Cena vs. Orton) before but now it’s better because John Morrison is involved.

Before that though here come Vickie and Dolph. Vickie says she should get the shot because she pinned Morrison. But if not her then Dolph. Ziggler says he isn’t here on Raw to waste his time on Cena. He’s never faced Miz for the title so the line starts with him. Don’t worry though because everyone will get title shots when he’s champion.

We’re not done yet because here’s R-Truth. He says that the gospel truth is that he’s never had a WWE Championship match. I think there’s a reason for that Truth. An e-mail says that there’s a new cobncept match. It’s a 5 man gauntlet match. Tonight (presumably) there will be two starting and another enters at a preset interval. You can’t get a win until all five are in and the winner meets Miz at Extreme Rules. I think those are the rules at least. It was a bit hard to keep track of.

Lawler vs. Swagger later. If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole.

There’s a video of a baby doll with its head taken off. You can see the person holding it, clearly the soon to be debuting Awesome Kong. She laughs crazily.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella

Brie allegedly won a Divas battle royal to win this shot. Wasn’t that weeks ago and she got the shot already? Eve brings a marker to have an X put on Nikki’s hand so we know she’s on the floor. That’s rather intelligent. Brie takes her down to start but Eve makes her comeback with a dropkick and the standing moonsault for two. Eve gets her in the Tree of Woe and when she’s being taken off there’s a switch. While Nikki is being taken out Brie sneaks up on her and an X-Factor gives Brie the title at 2:20. Weak match but all the girls looked good from a looks perspective at least.

Sin Cara debuts next.

Back with Eve being all upset about losing and Gail comes in to say she knows how it feels. Eve says all the Divas are the same. Natalya gets the same response. Tamina walks up to get something and just keeps walking. Ok then.

Sin Cara vs. Primo

The fans cheer for Sin Cara as Primo hammers away. He tries to toss Cara into the air so Sin Cara lands on his shoulders and backflips off. Out to the floor and a slingshot rana sends Primo flying. Primo is thrown back in but gets a baseball slide to send Cara back out. We hit a modified chinlock as Primo is getting way too much offense in here.

Cara chops away and gets another rana to get the crowd going a bit more. Powerbomb is countered into a very fast and hard sunset flip. Primo goes up but gets kicked in the head. They stand on the top rope and Primo falls, sending Cara to the floor. A C4 2000 (Downward Spiral with a backflip off the top) ends Primo at 4:30.

Rating: D+. I haven’t seen this big of a blown debut in a long time. Primo controlled the majority of the match and whenever Cara got something going, Primo would hit something to slow him down. You couple that with the botch at the end and this was a glorified train wreck. At least the ending was good.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Corre running in. During the live chat on NXT last week Howard Finkel said that was very stupid of them to do. When the Fink comes down on someone, that’s not a good sign.

Corre is in the ring and Barrett says he used to see them as equals, but if they can’t hold up their end of the bargain then there’s no point in continuing. Gabriel takes offense to it and says the 450 has taken out more people and he’s a 3 time tag champion. Slater says WE are three time tag champions. Jackson says he made Corre legit. He gets cut off by Santino’s music though.

Here are Santino, Henry, Bryan and Bourne. Santino says if they’re the Corre then they’re the A.P.P.L.E.: Allied People Powered (by) Loathing Everything (you stand for). This fight is for Kozlov so APPLE POWERS UNITE! And yes Santino really said that.

Corre vs. Apple

This is joined in progress as we come back. The Apple name is hilarious if nothing else. Corre is in control hammering away on Daniel Bryan. I wonder if he regrets leaving being the king of the indies yet. Gabriel gets a hilo for two. After a nice long beating it’s the hot tag to Santino who cleans house. Cole makes apple jokes the whole time. Everything breaks down and Bryan throws out a suicide dive to take out Barrett. Cobra is loaded up and a reverse DDT ends Santino at 3:37.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here other than to show that Corre is mostly united at least. Bryan sells very well so the match was about as good as it was going to get given what they had to work with. Not a terrible match but all things considered it was just ok. At least the right team won.

We talk about Lawler vs. Swagger and here’s JR to be in Lawler’s corner. Cole makes fun of Ross so JR tries to break into the Cole Mine. When that fails he hits Cole with his hat. Jerry gets up to take out Swagger and we go to a break.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole at Extreme Rules and gets to pick the stipulations. If Swagger wins then Cole never has to face Lawler again. Cole and Ross are at ringside and are on microphones. Swagger controls with basic stuff to start, namely hammering on Jerry. Cole keeps talking trash as Jerry makes a brief comeback, including taking a brief victory lap around the ring.

Headlock by Swagger is reversed by a belly to back suplex. Ankle lock goes on and Jerry does as Ross says by getting to the ropes. Cole shouts MOMMY at Jerry during the hold. Josh isn’t talking during the match. Swagger grabs an armbar and cranks on it a bit. Ross: “Your guy had you in an ankle lock and now has a wrist lock. Show’s how stupid he is!”

Cole calls Swagger Jackie as he rams Jerry into the buckle. Lawler Lawlers Up and hammers away. Cole keeps running his mouth so JR finally blasts him. The distraction allows Jerry to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:18. Swagger’s face after it is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C-. A lot of that is for the commentary/talking alone. JR’s line is one of the most obvious yet brilliant lines I’ve heard in a long time and shows the basic lack of psychology that is present in wrestling today. Not a great match or anything but given who was in there, this was solid. And no, I’m not saying this was better than the previous two matches. They’re not on the same scale and shouldn’t be.

Cole rips into Swagger post match, blaming him for everything and saying he paid good money for his help. It was all Swagger’s fault that he lost. Then he slaps Swagger and runs. Jerry grabs the mic and says we need to talk about Extreme Rules. He picks the obvious tag match: JR/Lawler vs. Swagger/Cole. Smart thinking actually. Jerry reminds Swagger that Cole just slapped him in the face. Cole panics as Swagger looks like he’s about to eat him.

We get a video package of wrestlers both past and present talking about how great Undertaker vs. HHH was.

Edge is talking to Cena and will be heading to the ring next.

Here’s Edge as JR, King and Matthews are doing commentary now. Please, I beg of you, pick a team and stick with it. This rotating lineup in the middle of the show is getting annoying. Anyway Edge says he’s going to ramble a lot in this. He says a lot of people thinks WWE doesn’t hurt and he wishes that wasn’t true. 8 years ago he had a neck injury and had spinal fusion surgery to correct it.

He knew he was wrestling on borrowed time but recently he’s been losing the feeling in his arms. He’s taken some tests and managed to make it through Wrestlemania, but the tests tell him he has to retire. The doctors have said he has no choice but thankfully they’ve found out now and he’s not going to be in a wheelchair.

Edge breaks down into tears as I’m thinking this isn’t a storyline at all. The fans chant thank you Edge and he says thank you guys. Edge talked to Christian who has been his best friend for 27 years. Edge was mad at himself but he’s still a fan of the WWE. He talks about going to Maple Leaf Gardens with Christian and seeing guys like Demolition, the LOD and Hogan.

Then he went to Wrestlemania 6 and saw Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior and said he’d be doing that. Fast forward 18 years and it was him in there against the Undertaker. Now he’s won more titles than anyone in WWE history and had his last match in a main event at Wrestlemania and gets to retire as World Heavyweight Champion.

Edge has been in this business for 19 years and he grew up in front of these people. He runs through his career from running through the streets of New York to doing posing for the benefits of those with flash photography to a live sex celebration (“luckily with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero”) and he hopes that he’s earned the fans’ respect.

He’s going to miss this and tomorrow he doesn’t have to wear tights and now he gets to eat ice cream. He says he’d do it again, even getting hired by JR. He drops the mic and gets a standing ovation. No Alberto, no interruptions, nothing else. If this was a work, give this man an Emmy right now. He does his pose on the stage and his music plays him out. Heavy stuff man.

We’re back and everyone, faces and heels, is applauding Edge. Even Vickie, Dolph, Corre, everyone. Dustin Rhodes is there in a shirt and tie. Still no Alberto or Christian. No word on the title situation yet but I’d assume Christian will take his place in the ladder match for the vacant title.

Cue Miz to a nice pop actually. He’s on commentary here.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Two will start and then it’s a standard gauntlet match, last man standing wins. Ziggler locks on a chinlock after some back and forth stuff. Lawler asks Miz who he’d prefer to face and Miz says he can’t hear him over his awesomeness. Josh is reading something and not seeming to pay attention.

Orton fires off some offense and looks down at Miz. Ziggler hides in the ropes to avoid the RKO. He can’t avoid the elevated DDT though and Orton sets for the RKO. The Nexus returns though and distracts Orton, allowing him to be pinned at 2:43. Well I didn’t see that one coming. Orton has to fights off the Nexus but Ryan takes him out. Orton is left laying as we take a break.

Back with Truth vs. Ziggler. Miz runs down Truth, wondering which version of him would come up. Lawler asks who Miz would rather face and Miz says he’ll face either of them. Chinlock goes on by Ziggler as Miz talks about not getting respect. If Cena wanted icon vs. icon he should have challenged Miz. Miz says he’s not a talker. Lawler responds with a facepalm.

The in ring stuff is rather boring, mainly because everyone knows Truth doesn’t have a chance here of winning the whole thing. Truth hammers away with right hands and gets a sitout gordbuster for two. Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. Out of nowhere Truth gets a jumping downward spiral to put eliminate Ziggler after 4:00 (all times other than the final are of the two in the ring, not overall time).

Morrison is next and will face Truth after the break. They exchange a bunch of pinfalls to start us off until Morrison hits a breakdancing legdrop and throws on a chinlock. Miz keeps bashing everyone and is sounding like a less insulting version of Mystery Science Theater. They hit the floor and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Both guys slide back in at nine and we keep going.

Morrison gets all angry and takes down Truth with some running offense, including a leg lariat. Truth reverses into a suplex/Stunner. He picks Morrison up for a suplex but shifts him to the side and catches him in a Stunner. Cool looking move. Morrison gets up and hits his kick off the middle rope but misses Starship Pain. The jumping Downward Spiral sends Truth to the final two at 4:51.

Cue Cena as it’s him vs. Truth for the shot at Miz. I didn’t see this one coming. We’re going to start this up after a break. During the break we’re told Edge will surrender the title on Friday. This looks more real every second. Back and we’re ready to go. Miz comments on the dueling chants and Cena hits a dropkick to the champ’s shock. Cena hammers away and hits a new move: a combination powerslam/side slam for two.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two and Cena goes up top. Top rope Fameasser gets two and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as easy as it seemed. Truth makes the comeback and “hits” (read as it misses by about 8 inches) his spinning forearm for two. The downward spiral (that needs a name) can’t hit and Cena initiates his ending sequence. Cena sets for the FU but Miz and Riley run in and hit both guys at the same time for a double DQ I guess. The last pairing ran 5:36 and overall counting commercials it ran 30:40.

Rating: C+. The grade is for the whole thing rather than any individual segment. Hard to really grade this as there isn’t much of a precedent for it and the whole match was choppy. Luckily this had a lot of time as the matches where people are eliminated in about a minute are rather annoying as they’re ridiculous any other time of the year. Not bad, but hard to grade. Ending was good though.

Miz says there’s no #1 contender and we get an E-Mail. There are now 2 #1 contenders: Cena and R-Truth, and there will be a triple threat match at the PPV. Odd choice but ok then. Cena and Truth have a weird bromance moment for a bit as they slap each other on the back rather fiercely and Truth glares at Cena as he leaves.

Overall Rating: B. Well it can’t be said nothing happened here. We have a new stable (and yes I know it’s a joke), a new #1 contender, a new champion and one of the biggest stars of all time retired. The wrestling here clearly wasn’t the point and for a show with this much going on that’s more than understandable.

Results

Brie Bella b. Eve Torres – Sitout Facebuster

Sin Cara b. Primo – C4 2000

Corre b. Apple – Slater pinned Marella after a reverse DDT

Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison went to a double disqualification when Alex Riley and the Miz interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Since we’re now about four days removed from Wrestlemania and three from Raw, I figured I’d take another quick look at the two shows since a lot of their impacts were probably lost during the live reviews.Wrestlemania

The more I think about it, the worse the show looks.  To begin with, how in the world can you have a nine match card running FOUR HOURS and have to cut a match due to time constraints?  There were no backstage segments, the Hall of Fame stuff was quick, five matches didn’t even make it to eleven minutes, and the longest match was 24:01.  But somehow we had to cut a match for time?  Let’s see.  Could it have been:

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Announcers play with WWE action figures – 1 minute

Package on the Special Olympics – 3 minutes

John Cena Make-A-Wish video – 2 minutes

Video on the Pre-Show – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Diddy Intro – 2 minutes

Diddy Concert – 8 minutes

Video on Slim Jims – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Gee, could it be the TWENTY FOUR MINUTES spent either hyping up stuff we ALREADY BOUGHT or WWE patting themselves on the back for how great they are?  Yeah instead of having Ryder and 3MB in the back doing something amusing, we need to hear about how awesome it is that WWE has sent Slim Jims to soldiers.

Moving on, there’s the major problem with this show: it wasn’t that good.  The best match was either Undertaker vs. Punk or HHH vs. Lesnar and neither of them are anything resembling a classic.  They’re both good but I want a bit more when I think of two of the biggest matches of the year.  Both were more than fine for second and third biggest matches on Wrestlemania though.

This brings us to the main event which just wasn’t very good.  It was exactly what we were expecting and while there were some good spots in there, the majority of the match did nothing for me.  I’m very tired of the idea of using five finishers a match as the only offense as they stop being finishers and are just moves at that point.  Cena winning was the right move, but the problem at the end of the day was that Rock winning the title didn’t do much.  It wasn’t a good title reign and he was really just there to pass the title along to Cena.

As for the other major matches, let’s take a quick look at a few.

Swagger vs. Del Rio: meh.  This feud stopped being interesting about two weeks in and Swagger not even getting an intro showed how lame it was in the eyes of the company.  The match was nothing of note (again clipped because of time, because WE NEED DIDDY!) and Swagger looks like the jobber he’s been for years.

Lesnar vs. HHH. While the opening part ran long, the match was very physical and brutal.  Now that being said, why in the world am I supposed to look at Brock as a serious threat again?  The match vs. Cena made Brock look like a BEAST and Cena looked like he was trying to survive rather than win the match.  That made for a great showcase and a great match.  The matches with HHH on the other hand were ALL about HHH.  Think about it: Brock was a guy there for HHH to get beaten down by and then make the Superman comeback against months later.  Lesnar was just a guy for HHH to beat and nothing more.  This is Brock Lesnar, not Khali or Henry, but he’s being treated like a regular monster.

Overall Wrestlemania was entirely forgettable.  Nothing on the show was incredibly fun or interesting, so it came off as very lame.  Out of the 29 shows in the series, it’s probably not even in the top 20.  That’s not a good sign coming off last year’s incredible show.

Now on to Raw, which was very interesting for a lot of different reasons.

Let’s get the big one out of the way right now: Raw sucked this week.  Here are the matches:

Squash

Rematch from Mania’s pre-show with a stupid booking decision

VERY boring handicap match

MITB cash-in

6 man tag to get people not on Wrestlemania on TV

The bizarre match

90 second Fandango match ending in a run-in

Mania match on Raw because WWE LOVES SLIM JIMS!

3 minute match to set up the show ending angle

Other stupid stuff on Raw:

Booker not letting us just have Henry vs. Cena for the title (which would have been a better booking move given the ending)

Colter and Swagger trying to get a heel reaction by asking the fans to chant USA

Ziggler being world champion

The Twitter Poll being canceled after the results were shown on screen

Now we get to the big deal of the show: the crowd.  Let me get this out of the way: that crowd was not a good thing.  It was entertaining for a bit, but eventually they decided to take over the show and make it all about them, because those 12,000 or so people are more important than the fans at home or the people in the ring.  Were they amusing for a bit?  Yes they were, but as soon as they made the entire show about them, it was too much.  It was annoying in ECW and it was annoying here, along with being disrespectful to the people who are working hard in the ring.

Raw sucked on Monday and they’re not going to have a crowd like that to take the focus off that in the future.  That’s a very bad sign for them going forward.

I saw this in a column and it got me to thinking.Back in 2007, Cena injured his pectoral muscle and said he would be out at least past Wrestlemania.  Cut to MSG at the 2008 Royal Rumble.  #30 is on the way and it’s……John Cena.  The crowd LOSES IT and it’s one of the most genuine surprises in wrestling history.  This fooled marks, smarks and everyone in between.  What was the great solution to this?

Cena lied.  He had been posting on Twitter about how he was going to be gone for months and wanted to be in the Rumble…..and then he was.  Why isn’t this tactic used more often?  Why do so many stories and angles have to be based on what’s really going on?  Lie to us WWE.  You would be amazed how much stronger people will react when they’re genuinely surprised.