Smackdown – November 5, 2021: Recalibrating

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2021
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re just over two weeks away from Survivor Series and it might be time to start talking about the show. Since it absolutely has to be Raw vs. Smackdown, it shouldn’t be that hard to get things going. The show almost has to be better than last week’s so at least they have a clear bar to clear. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Roman Reigns talks about taking last week off after smashing Brock Lesnar, but now he’s back so this tiny little no name town can acknowledge him. He was on a private island running around sans clothes last week (his wife loved it), but not everyone had a good time. Brock Lesnar got fined a million bucks, but there was one more thing.

Reigns asks Paul Heyman what happened to the Usos, with Heyman talking about how it was a non-title match. When flat out asked though, Heyman has to admit that the New Day won the match. Reigns likes the New Day, even though the Bloodline is better. He wants to know what happened, with both Usos blaming the other for taking the pin. Eventually it’s Jimmy who admits he lost, so Reigns wants to know how he’s going to fix it.

Jimmy promises to make everyone acknowledge the head of the title and the Universal Champion, but here is New Day to interrupt. Woods thinks the King is supposed to be at the head of the table, but Reigns hasn’t stopped talking about sitting there for a long time now. Kofi thinks the table has been forgotten on Reigns’ island of relevancy. As for tonight, Woods has an idea: Woods vs. Jimmy, and when Jey loses, he has to bend the knee to the King. Jimmy says the Bloodline bows to no one but Reigns accepts for him, with Woods having to bend the knee if he loses.

We look at Sonya Deville cheating Naomi out of a match with Shayna Baszler last week.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

In the back, Sonya Deville insists that it has been tough love on Naomi. They start fast with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and then kicking Baszler in the face. Baszler snaps off a German suplex though and they fight outside, with Naomi sending her into the apron. Back in and a good high crossbody gets two on Baszler but she drops Naomi onto the apron.

We take a break and come back with Naomi hitting a Heatseeker onto the apron. A sunset flip gets two but Baszler switches into the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s broken up with a rope break so Naomi grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:33. Hold on though because here’s Sonya Deville to say that should have been a rope break, so restart the match. Cole: “WHERE’S JACK TUNNEY???” The Kirifuda Clutch finishes Naomi at 7:30.

Rating: C-. Yeah we know. It’s the kind of story that we have seen over and over again: a corrupt authority figure does something to mess with a wrestler. The good thing here though is that it could bring Sonya back into the ring and that is certainly a positive. It has been a while since we’ve seen this so it’s far from the worst thing, but they might as well have had a big NOPE sign as soon as Naomi got the pin.

Roman Reigns is ranting to the Usos about what happened last week, saying he took a week off and this place is almost as bad as Raw. Jimmy laughs so Reigns gets in his face, saying they don’t lose.

Remember how Xia Li was coming? She still is.

Ridge Holland is here to meet his idol, Sheamus, because he would fight right in back home. He and his friends were all big fans and everything he knows he learned from watching Sheamus. That is bad news for everyone around here. Quite the interesting backstory.

We look back at Shotzi attacking Sasha Banks.

Shotzi talks about how she has lost everything, from matches to the support of the WWE Universe. That was her breaking point and she is going to run over everyone, even without the tank. This was a good example of someone writing a promo for a wrestler, even if it is not something that fits with their personality. Someone like Shotzi would never say “the support of the WWE Universe” but that’s how WWE people talk so here we are.

Los Lotharios vs. Mansoor/Cesaro

Mansoor takes Garza down by the arm to start but gets caught in a spinebuster as we get an inset interview from some bragging Lotharios. Carrillo comes in to punch Mansoor into the corner and a backdrop allows Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS. The half crab goes on but Mansoor escapes and brings in Cesaro to start cleaning house. The springboard corkscrew elbow sets up the Swing but Carrillo makes the save. Mansoor breaks up the near fall and Cesaro gets knocked into Mansoor. Something like a Muta Lock from Carrillo sets up a basement dropkick from Garza (The Cero de la Silla?) for the pin at 4:59.

Rating: C. You can always use a team like Los Lotharios and they were doing their thing well enough here. The tag divisions have been dying for new talent so this is a perfectly fine addition. Now just let them win some matches and go somewhere with it and they might be on to something.

Aliyah hits on Jeff Hardy but leaves so Jeff can have his interview. Hold on though as Jeff goes over to Aliyah, who runs into Sami Zayn. Sami wants to help her out, so he has one suggestion: pants suit.

Here’s Drew McIntyre for this week’s open challenge.

Drew McIntyre vs. Ricochet

Ricochet says Drew needs to watch his mouth or someone is going to come out here and slap him in the face. That’s what Ricochet does so Drew starts fast, including a heck of an overhead belly to belly. Drew is knocked outside but he catches a running hurricanrana and drops Ricochet onto the apron. Back in and another belly to belly has Ricochet sprawling into the corner.

We cut to Mustafa Ali, who seems interested because he and Ricochet have a lot in common. Back to full screen with Ricochet dropkicking McIntyre out of the air. A standing shooting star press is blocked though and a brainbuster gives Drew two. Ricochet hits some superkicks but a middle rope moonsault press is Claymored out of the air (DANG) for the pin at 3:41.

Rating: B-. WWE is getting the hang of these awesome short matches as of late, as they packed in so much stuff that I thought they had gone twice as long. I’m glad to see Ricochet on the show again and that finish looked great. Then there’s the Ali stuff and while I’m still nervous, they might have shifted away from what it seemed to be in the first place.

New Day is ready for the main event and dancing ensues.

Mustafa Ali comes up tor Ricochet and proposes a team. Ricochet turns him down though, because Ali complains all the time, was mean to his last partner, and is just a jerk. Ali isn’t pleased.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss laughing about how they have no competition. That brings them to their guests this week, the Viking Raiders, who seem to impress McAfee. The Raiders say they aren’t here to be guests but to raid this corny show. Corbin laughs at the idea of two guys in their Halloween costumes. Moss tells them a joke about how bad vikings smell so the set is wrecked.

Viking Raiders vs. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

Erik powers Corbin around to start so it’s off to Ivar to work on Moss’ arm. A Corbin distraction lets Moss come back with a spinebuster to Erik though and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Ivar has to make a save of his own but Moss shoves him through the ropes for something you don’t see very often.

Deep Six gets two on Erik but he knocks Corbin away and brings in Ivar to start breaking people. A crossbody hits Moss for two and there’s the seated senton in the corner. Ivar cartwheels away from Corbin (McAfee: “A VIKING DID A CARTWHEEL!”) and drives Erik into the corner. Corbin is sent outside and Erik powerbombs Moss (after almost dropping him at first) but Corbin pulls Moss to the floor. The threat of an Ivar dive sends Moss and Corbin away for the countout at 5:41.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have much time to go anywhere but they followed the formula so it wasn’t that bad. The Raiders getting pushed again is a good idea and I could go for seeing them face the Usos for the titles. Corbin and Moss are more likely to get the push though, which isn’t surprising and also not the most exciting. Odds are the rematch is next week and a Nakamura/Boogs cameo wouldn’t surprise me.

Raw Rebound.

Hit Row runs into Sami Zayn, who is giving them some advice as the locker room leader. Zayn thought their entrance a few weeks ago sucked, but with some work, they could be stars. Top Dolla asks him to demonstrate a big entrance and the team is rather excited to see this.

Here is Sami Zayn, who is rather fired up during his entrance. With that out of the way, here is Hit Row, who seems to get a bit of a more positive reaction, to send Sami away in some shame.

The Usos ask if Roman Reigns is coming to the ring with them. Reigns asks how many of their mistakes does he have to fix.

King Woods vs. Jimmy Uso

Kofi Kingston and Jey Uso are here too and the loser has to bend the knee. Woods starts fast by knocking Jimmy outside to start. Back in and Woods dropkicks him out of the air for two but Jimmy drops him on the top. We take a break and come back with Jimmy stomping away in the corner before grabbing the chinlock.

Woods fights back up and knocks Jimmy down for a change, setting up a heck of a top rope legdrop for two. Jey offers a distraction though and it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jimmy his own near fall. The Superfly Splash hits raised boots so Jey offers a hand but the referee catches the cheating. Woods grabs a rollup (and pants) for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this one by the end and they had me on a few of the near falls. Woods winning is the right call as he is getting some energy out of the crown, so you don’t want him losing so soon. The match was good action with solid drama and that’s not bad for a total midcard main event.

Post match Jimmy reluctantly starts to bend the knee but here is Roman Reigns to jump Woods and set up the beatdown. Woods’ leg gets taken out and Reigns promises violence next week. New Day is going to need some backup, perhaps in the form of the WWE Champion, who is probably going to be facing Reigns at Survivor Series later this month anyway. That’s some amazing timing.

Overall Rating: C+. Yeah last week was a one off as this was definitely a return to course after last week’s near train wreck. This week had better matches and some good story advancement, so well done on getting things closer to Survivor Series. I want to see what happens when a serious Big E. comes after Reigns and Naomi get to beat up Sonya, plus wherever they are going with Drew McIntyre’s open challenges. Good show here, and that’s nice to see again.

Results
Shayna Baszler b. Naomi – Kirifuda Clutch
Los Lotharios b. Cesaro/Mansoor – Assisted basement dropkick to Cesaro
Drew McIntyre b. Ricochet – Claymore
Viking Raiders b. Madcap Moss/Happy Corbin via countout
Xavier Woods b. Jimmy Uso – Rollup with a handful of pants

 

 

 

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Smackdown – October 8, 2021: Tournaments Aren’t That Awesome But They’re Acceptable Enough

Smackdown
Date: October 8, 2021
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re done with the Draft, though we still have a few weeks before we switch over to the new roster. Until then we have Crown Jewel in less than two weeks, which is likely to get a lot of the focus tonight. Since it’s WWE, we also have a contract signing to deal with tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the contract signing, with Bianca Belair in the ring, Sasha Banks on the announcers’ table and Becky Lynch at her own table in the aisle. Becky doesn’t think much of Belair, who she beat in 26 seconds and Banks, who looks like a disco ball. Banks thinks Becky is jealous because she’s a bigger star than the two of them.

Belair doesn’t want to hear it and just wants to get the contract signed. Becky gets her attention so Banks runs in to jump Belair, meaning the brawl is on. That just lets Belair put them both in the KOD but she can’t flip them over. Instead she puts Banks onto the table and puts Becky through Banks and the table. The contract wasn’t signed in all of the melee. Of every contract signing, at least this one was short.

Rey Mysterio says being King of the Ring is the second best thing in WWE (after being Universal Champion), but it would make him sick to see Sami Zayn as king.

King of the Ring Tournament First Round: Rey Mysterio vs. Sami Zayn

Before the match, Sami tells Dominik Mysterio that Dominik is better than his dad. Sami misses a Helluva Kick to start but Sami grabs a powerbomb for two instead as Cole talks about how important the tournament is. Rey is right back by sending Sami outside and the flipping hurricanrana takes him down again. There’s the top rope splash for two on Zayn, who is right back with a shoulder first whip into the post.

We take a break and come back with Dominik at ringside as Sami suplexes Rey into the corner. The Helluva Kick is countered though and Rey gets two off Code Red. A springboard hurricanrana gets the same but the 619 misses. Another Blue Thunder Bomb gets another two on Rey so Sami goes to pull off the turnbuckle pad. Dominik goes to put it back but Rey is sent into him, allowing Sami to grab a rollup for the pin at 9:47.

Rating: C+. There was an energy here that I wasn’t expecting as both guys were working hard to make this better. Rey hasn’t moved that well in a good while and Zayn did his thing as well. Good match, while also advancing their story and the tournament. That’s a rather nifty use of about ten minutes.

Here are the brackets:

Sami Zayn

Cesaro
Finn Balor

Kofi Kingston
Jinder Mahal

Xavier Woods
Ricochet

Hit Row is coming.

Commentary is excited about the changes from the changes from the Draft.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Edge’s house last week and messing with his stuff as Edge freaked out.

Rollins doesn’t know why everyone is freaking out about what he did last week. He managed to beat Edge in Madison Square Garden without any cheating and then he went to Edge’s home as promised. That being said, Rolling still hasn’t gotten an answer to his challenge so he’s going to find someone who can make it happen.

Queen’s Crown Tournament First Round: Zelina Vega vs. Toni Storm

First match in the history of the tournament. Storm goes with the power to start but Vega is back with the Thesz press and a bunch of right hands. The modified dragon sleeper has Vega in trouble but Storm fights up and cranks on the arm. There’s a running hip attack in the corner to keep Vega down but she is back up to crotch Storm on top. Storm tries a backslide but gets reversed into a Code Red to give Vega the fast pin at 2:12.

Here are the brackets:

Zelina Vega

Liv Morgan
Carmella

Doudrop
Natalya

Dana Brooke
Shayna Baszler

We look back at Roman Reigns’ rough night last week, with Reigns being the #1 overall pick but having to deal with Brock Lesnar as well. Lesnar then announced that he was a free agent, much to Reigns’ annoyance as he believe Paul Heyman is behind it.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. Reigns likes being acknowledged but he wants to get to the point: did Paul Heyman set up Lesnar’s free agent status? Heyman goes into a nearly begging rant about how he has nothing but loyalty Reigns. He may have been accused of a lot of things over the years, but never of being stupid. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stretch this out until Crown Jewel and set up Reigns’ strategy and then tell Lesnar about it? Heyman talks about how Reigns will conquer the Conqueror at Crown Jewel, but Reigns wants Heyman to tell Lesnar himself.

That means Heyman has to look into the camera and tell Lesnar what is going to happen. Heyman, with some more seriousness in his voice, talks about how Lesnar conquered the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, but now he has met his match. Reigns will retain the title, and that is a spoiler. Heyman drops to his knees before Reigns, who seems pleased. This was more awesome stuff from the best thing going in wrestling today.

Seth Rollins comes in to see Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville because he wants to know if Edge is going to be here tonight. Either way, Rollins will be in the ring at the end of the show for an answer. If the two of them see Edge first though, he asks them to return this photo of Edge and Beth Phoenix from their house.

Queen’s Crown Tournament First Round: Carmella vs. Liv Morgan

Carmella puts on her mask but Morgan takes her down and hammers away. The Code of Silence has Morgan in trouble so she grabs the mask to escape. An enziguri sets up Oblivion for two with Carmella putting her foot on the rope for the escape. Back up and Carmella superkicks her down for the pin at 1:46. As much as I don’t want to say it, I think it’s time to give up on believing it’s ever going to happen for Morgan. If you’re losing to Carmella in less than two minutes, what kind of future do you have?

Mace says he isn’t coming here to compete because that implies there is competition. All he sees is prey.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk. Before they can get too far, here is a ticked off Kevin Owens. Moss gets beaten up in the aisle and Owens goes inside to jump Corbin but the numbers game takes him down. Owens gets laid out again.

Naomi comes in to see the bosses and wants to know why she wasn’t in the Queen’s Crown Tournament but Sonya Deville cuts her off. Next week, Naomi is in the ring against….Sonya herself.

King of the Ring Tournament First Round: Cesaro vs. Finn Balor

Cesaro grabs a headscissors on the mat to start but Balor is right back up. That just earns him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to give Cesaro two and there’s a hard whip into the corner. Balor manages a quick double stomp to the chest though and Cesaro is tossed over the top. The big dive is countered into Swiss Death to give Cesaro two and we take a break.

Back with Balor knocking Cesaro down again and stomping away. Cesaro manages to start the uppercut train but Balor Sling Blades him back down. The Coup de Grace is cut off though and Cesaro adds a headbutt on top. The superplex gives Cesaro a delayed two and a Crossface has Balor in more trouble. Balor rolls him up to escape and the Swing is countered into a cradle for two more. Cesaro misses a charge into the post and there’s the big flip dive to the floor. Back in and the shotgun dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace for the pin on Cesaro at 9:43.

Rating: B-. I don’t think it’s any surprise that these two were going to have a good match. It helps that they got some time, just like Mysterio vs. Zayn. That’s a bit better than the two women’s matches tonight, which got about four minutes combined. It shows just how much of a difference that detail makes, but I don’t think WWE cares that much these days.

We look back at the contract signing, which did not include any contracts being signed.

Becky Lynch goes on a rant about how she isn’t respected around here but Sonya Deville says prove it by signing the contract. Becky signs to get us a third of the way to the match, though she throws the contract at Adam Pearce, hitting him low.

Here is Seth Rollins to call Edge out. Rollins says they can have any match Edge wants, anywhere they want. They can even have it Edge’s living room with his wife and kids cheering him on. Rollins says Edge is disappointing everyone, from his fans to his family. He can’t imagine how much this hurts Edge’s daughters’ hearts….and Edge arrives in the back (cutting it close with two minutes left in the show). Cue Edge to start the fight in a hurry and break the bar off of the chair. The Crossface is teased but Rollins elbows him to escape. Edge: “YOU! ME! HELL IN A CELL!” Rollins’ jaw drops to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I love a show that is quick and to the point and that’s what we got here. They didn’t bother trying to do anything more than hit the tournament stuff and advance or set up things for Crown Jewel. That’s how you run an efficient show and it feels like to have a night that has such a focus. Good show here, though the women’s matches left a good bit to be desired. Would it really hurt to give them five minutes each?

Results
Sami Zayn b. Rey Mysterio – Rollup
Zelina Vega b. Toni Storm – Code Red
Carmella b. Liv Morgan – Superkick
Finn Balor b. Cesaro – Coup de Grace

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – September 3, 2021: The Garden Awaits

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2021
Location: VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s a title show this week as Finn Balor gets a shot at Roman Reigns and the Universal Title. That sounds like something that could headline Extreme Rules so we may be in for some shenanigans. Other than that, we need to get some things going for the pay per view, which is in just over three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap/hype video for Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor.

Here are the Usos for their Championship Contenders match against the Street Profits. Before we get started, the Usos talks about how the Profits disrespected them last week so come get them because they are the ones.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title. Hold on though as the Street Profits want to know how the Usos are in the ring without their permission slips. Ford admits the Usos are spitting facts and they are the ones. As in the ones about to take a beating. The Usos take the Profits down to start but Jimmy takes too long talking trash and gets caught with a dropkick from Dawkins. Ford comes in for a dropkick of his own, plus one to Jey. A quick shot from the cup sets up Ford’s dive off the apron, which is pulled out of the air for a drop onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Ford fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding a charge to send Jimmy shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Dawkins but Jey catches him with a Samoan drop for two. Both Usos take Dawkins up top but he fights his way to freedom and gets over for the tag to Ford. The Anointment sets up the Cash Out for two with Jey making the save. Jey sends Ford into the post twice in a row and that’s a DQ at 7:56.

Rating: C+. I will absolutely take that over the champs getting pinned to set up a title match at Extreme Rules. The ending even gives them a reason to have a hardcore match of some kind and that’s a good thing. Mix this stuff up a bit and the matches are that much better. See how easy it is?

Post match the Usos come after them again and take Dawkins outside. That’s fine with Ford, who hits a SCARY dive over the top, nearly landing on his head and scaring commentary. Thankfully he’s fine enough to get onto the announcers’ table for the posing.

Roman Reigns is watching in the back and sends Paul Heyman to do something.

Heyman is walking when Kayla Braxton scares him. He suggests she enjoy the moment but Heyman’s phone rings…with Brock Lesnar’s theme as the ring tone. Heyman says there comes a time….and it rings again. He answers and tries to say this is a bad time but gets cut off by someone presumably yelling on the other end. Heyman says he’ll do it and gets hung up on. Braxton says she is definitely enjoying this moment, as Heyman told her to. Heyman goes to a janitor and says if he wants to take out the trash, start with Braxton. It’s Big E., who laughs maniacally as Heyman looks like he wants to cry. Heyman was great here.

Here is Becky Lynch for a chat to a heck of a reaction. After a recap of Bianca Belair becoming #1 contender to the Smackdown Women’s Title, Becky talks about knowing how everyone wants to rub elbows with her. Bianca Belair isn’t happy about Becky winning the title at Summerslam but it isn’t Becky’s fault that “ESTher” wasn’t ready. Belair can do all of her flips, but it took one flick of Becky’s fist to become Smackdown Women’s Champion again.

Cue Belair to say she never complained about losing, but last week she proved she is the EST around here when she won the four way. Roman Reigns is defending his title tonight so Becky can do the same. Becky doesn’t care what Reigns does because the match isn’t happening tonight.

Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Toni Storm and offers her a front row seat…in his corner. Storm says he’s great but she is rooting for Rick Boogs tonight.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rick Boogs

Boogs starts fast with a big gorilla press and Ziggler isn’t sure what to do. The pumphandle slam is cut off but Boogs grabs him again, setting up the pumphandle slam for the pin at 1:28.

Becky Lynch tells Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville that the match isn’t happening tonight. That’s fine with the two of them, as the match can take place at Extreme Rules. Next week, it’s the contract signing at Madison Square Garden.

Seth Rollins talks about how he has watched his match with Edge so many times now and it is time to renew himself like a fine wine.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

Cesaro starts fast by sending him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Rollins hits a quick dropkick into an Impaler DDT (ala Edge) for two as we take an early break. We come back with Cesaro hitting an uppercut but getting countered into the Buckle Bomb for two. Cesaro fights back again so Rollins grabs the Edge O Matic for two more.

The Stomp is countered into a powerbomb to give Cesaro a breather and he’s back up with a discus lariat for his own near fall. There’s the Swing into the Sharpshooter but Seth is right next to the ropes. They head outside with Cesaro loading up the running uppercut but Rollins grabs a chair for the DQ at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Rollins being obsessed with Edge is an interesting way to go and odds are we’ll be seeing a rematch, maybe as soon as Extreme Rules. It’s a good idea for Rollins, who has been needing something that wasn’t the Friday Night Messiah or anything close to it for awhile now. As for Cesaro…yeah you had to know this kind of thing was coming.

Post match Rollins snaps and puts Cesaro in the Crossface with the chair bar over the mouth ala Edge. The Stomp leaves Cesaro laying. Rollins loads up the Conchairto but Edge runs in for the save.

Roman Reigns tells the Usos to stick to the game plan. They leave so Paul Heyman says they have a problem. Reigns isn’t worried but Heyman says they have a problem with Brock Lesnar. Reigns: “No, YOU have a problem with Brock Lesnar.” Heyman says Lesnar is going to be in Madison Square Garden next week on Smackdown. Lesnar called him earlier for the first time in a year and is watching the show because FOX is really big in Saskatchewan. Reigns wants to now how Heyman knows where Lesnar is, because Lesnar might be here tonight. Heyman seems to panic.

Happy Corbin arrives and thinks the interviewer is the valet.

Edge thinks Seth Rollins has lost it but he would probably do the same. This has to stop though and Edge wants Rollins next week. This doesn’t end well (Edge’s words).

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, with Owens being happy about wearing a tie. Speaking of Happy, here is Happy Corbin as this week’s guest. As expected, Corbin is very happy to be here and says Owens not helping him is what made Corbin so happy in the first place. Owens wants no part of this but Corbin says he has his own special guest: Logan Paul.

Owens isn’t impressed as Corbin talks about how they’re friends now. They watched Logan’s brother Jake beat Tyron Woodley and then hung out together, which Owens thinks sounds horrible. Owens calls Paul trash so Logan offers him $100. That’s not going to work for Owens, who wants Paul out of WWE. They shove each other and Owens goes after him but gets dropped by a mic shot from Corbin. The beatdown is on as I wonder how it took this long to make Paul an obnoxious heel.

We get a notification that Carmella….exists I guess. Liv Morgan is standing nearby and says “really”.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Sami Zayn

Dominik starts fast with the top rope armdrag but Zayn blasts him with a clothesline. There’s a running hurricanrana to send Zayn into the ropes but it’s too early for the 619. Zayn goes to leave but here’s Rey to cut him off in a hurry. Cue Rey Mysterio to keep Zayn from leaving and Dominik hits the big flip dive. Dominik wants Rey to leave and the distraction lets Zayn hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 2:04. The frustrations continue.

Naomi comes up to Sonya Deville to find out what she’s doing tonight. Sonya is on the phone though and tells Naomi to get with her next week. Maybe try asking before an hour and a half into the show?

Finn Balor wants to know what would have happened if he had not gotten hurt the night he won the Universal Title. Tonight, he gets to find out.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns

Balor is challenging, but here are the Usos to jump him before the bell. The big beatdown is on and Balor is left laying until the Street Profits come in to chase the Usos off. Reigns comes out for the match and we take a break. Back with Balor saying he can go so we get the Big Match Intros. Reigns is smart enough to throw Balor down onto the bad ribs to start as the ribs are banged up again. Balor tries to fight back but charges into an uppercut. A spinebuster plants him again and we take a break.

Back with Reigns missing the Superman Punch, allowing Balor to hit a Pele for a breather. Balor starts the comeback but gets sent outside to cut him off again. Reigns gets pulled down into the ring skirt though and Balor hammers away, including the big flip dive. They head back inside where the Coup de Grace misses, allowing Reigns to hit the Superman Punch for two. Balor is back up with 1916 for two of his own and the Coup de Grace connects for a VERY close two. The kickout includes a low blow and Reigns hammers away on the downed Balor, setting up the guillotine choke to retain at 10:31.

Rating: B-. There wasn’t the most drama here but the Coup de Grace near fall was quite good. They have an out for Balor with the Usos’ attack and that could set up the rematch. What we got here was good though and it felt like a main event, which is what they were shooting for with this one. Balor isn’t going to be hurt off a loss to Reigns, so it isn’t some career stopper for him either.

Post match Reigns and Heyman go to leave, but the lights flicker a bit. Reigns isn’t sure what that was to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another rather good Smackdown, though there were some problems throughout. The character stuff in Belair vs. Lynch is still pretty all over the place and they still didn’t set up anything for Extreme Rules. That being said, the action was good and the two hours flew by with a good main event. That’s about all you can ask for out of this show and it went pretty well.

Results
Street Profits b. Usos via DQ when Jey sent Ford into the post
Rick Boogs b. Dolph Ziggler – Pumphandle slam
Cesaro b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Rollins used a chair
Sami Zayn b. Dominik Mysterio – Helluva Kick
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor – Guillotine choke

 

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Smackdown – August 27, 2021: Then Everything Else

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2021
Location: Simmons Bank Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Kevin Owens

It’s the fallout from Summerslam and in this case we have a pair of huge returns to television with Becky Lynch and Brock Lesnar coming back to Smackdown. I don’t think there is much of a secret of where the two of them are going but I’m curious to see where they are going in both cases. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Becky Lynch’s return, where she beat Bianca Belair to win the Smackdown Women’s Title in less than thirty seconds.

Here is Becky Lynch, with a jacket that makes her look like a matador, to say she is back on top. A year and a half ago, she had to give up her Raw Women’s Title in a hard moment. It was giving up her identity but she has been working every day since to get back here. Now we get to Summerslam, and the fans don’t seem to like that. She knows there have been some people unhappy with her, but she is sorry…..FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! The fans like that and Becky talks about how she needs to be prepared around here.

Cue Bianca Belair, who the fans seem to like as well. She isn’t about to make excuses because that isn’t who she is, but she isn’t cool with what happened at Summerslam. Belair issues the challenge for tonight but here is Zelina Vega to interrupt. She thinks it’s funny that Belair has fallen this far down and thinks she should get the title shot. Now it’s Carmella coming out to say she should face Lynch tonight. She didn’t have time to be prepared at Summerslam and didn’t even have her nails done.

Cue Liv Morgan (to a rather strong reaction) to ask why Carmella and Zelina should get title shots when they lose over and over. Carmella laughs at her for sitting in catering all the time but Belair isn’t having this. Belair: “All three of y’all done lost your d*** minds.” She challenges Becky again but gets a “nah, not tonight”. Lynch might be a heel, but no one seems to care. The brawl is on between the other four and I think you know where this is going.

Carmella vs. Zelina Vega vs. Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan

Joined in progress, elimination rules and the winner gets a future shot at Lynch. Belair shoulders Carmella in the ribs and then gorilla presses Vega, who doesn’t seem thrilled with going up. Vega avoids Morgan’s charge in the corner and hits a rolling kick to the face, only to get rolled up by Carmella for two. Belair comes back in and KOD’s Vega for the pin and the elimination at 3:02. Since Carmella and Morgan are both down on the floor, Belair has to throw Morgan back in, allowing Carmella to get in a cheap shot. That allows Morgan to hit Oblivion for the pin on Carmella at 3:57.

So we’re down to Belair vs. Morgan and we take a break. Back with Belair hitting the running shoulder in the corner but Morgan drop toeholds her into the corner. A spinebuster gives Belair two and she counters Oblivion into a delayed suplex….which is countered into a Codebreaker for Morgan’s two. The KOD is blocked so Belair drops her onto the turnbuckle. Now the KOD can finish Morgan off at 11:56.

Rating: C+. This was two matches rolled into one as the Carmella and Vega stuff was completely useless but it got a lot better when we got to the one on one part. They needed Morgan in there as beating Vega and Carmella means nothing for Belair, who needed the rebound win after Summerslam. Now they can build towards Extreme Rules and we should be in for a good road there.

Paul Heyman is asked where he stands, which would of course be behind, and just to the side of, Roman Reigns. Now he and Reigns have some preparing to do….but Heyman is locked out of Reigns’ dressing room.

We look back at Roman Reigns defeating John Cena but having to face Brock Lesnar to end the show. Paul Heyman dropping to his knees was great.

Heyman still can’t get into the locker room, and asks if Kayla Braxton has ANYWHERE else to be right now. Kayla says no, but the Usos open the locker room. Roman Reigns isn’t here yet, but they ask if he knew if Brock Lesnar was going to be at Summerslam. Heyman looks nervous but says no. Why would he tear down everything the team has built up? The Usos ask why they were sent to the back before the bell, though Heyman reminds them that it was Reigns’ decision. There is something going on here and I want to see where it’s going.

Chad Gable vs. Cesaro

Otis is here with Gable, who has to avoid an early Swing attempt. Gable takes him down and scores with the moonsault for two. The cross armbreaker over the ropes puts Cesaro in trouble but he’s right back up with a super hurricanrana. The Swing goes on but Otis runs in for the DQ at 2:14.

Post match Otis crushes Cesaro with the middle rope splash.

Baron Corbin, now in a new suit and a hat, drives up in a nice car and says you can now call him Happy Corbin.

Here’s Corbin in the arena, now with a slow machine themed Titantron video (it says WINNER) and he dances to the ring, where the red ropes are waiting on him. He was ready to file for bankruptcy on Monday and everything was over. Now though, everything is back and he looks incredible. We see a series of videos of Corbin gambling in Las Vegas and making a ton of money. Corbin: “I was the mayor of Jackpot City!” Owens: “…..the what???” His wife even welcomed his back with Wagyu beef (not Ragu, as I was scolded for not understanding a few weeks ago), but now he needs to talk to Big E.

Corbin appreciates Big E. for coming out and Big E. is glad Corbin doesn’t smell bad anymore. Corbin is so happy that he offers to buy the briefcase for $20,000. That’s a no, but Corbin just wants Big E. to be happy, because losing the briefcase will devastate you. Corbin bumps the offer up to $100k, but that’s a no, despite Big E.’s kids needing braces. Instead, Big E. offers to sell him half of a sandwich, a pencil or an ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS PLUSHIE!!! Big E. tells him to hit the bricks and Corbin does so, complete with that awesome song. This Corbin stuff keeps getting better and better.

We look at Edge beating Seth Rollins at Summerslam.

Edge is happy with his win, even though he paid for the victory. He didn’t like the place he had to go to to win, but now he is on to bigger things.

Seth Rollins isn’t happy with the loss, even in a great match. Edge won his respect and Rollins admires him, so maybe he should be more like Edge to get back to the Universal Title.

Roman Reigns arrives and Paul Heyman looks nervous, not even opening the door for him. Heyman refers to him as “my Tribal Chief” twice in a row to make up for it.

Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rick Boogs/King Nakamura

Boogs takes Ziggler to the mat to start and we get some guitar playing on the leg. Roode comes in to hammer Boogs down and we get an inset promo from Apollo Crews about how bad the Intercontinental Title is under Nakamura. Boogs fights up and brings in Nakamura but Kinshasa is countered into a rollup to give Roode two.

Nakamura is sent outside for a Zig Zag from Ziggler and we take a break. Back with Roode hitting a spinebuster on Nakamura but a kick to the face allows the hot tag to Boogs. Everything breaks down and Nakamura knocks Roode outside, leaving Boogs to hit the pumphandle slam to pin Ziggler at 9:03.

Rating: C. They have a little something with this Boogs/Nakamura pairing and it is the best thing that Nakamura has done for years now. Sometimes you need a fresh coat of paint to see what you can find and that seems to be what we are getting here. If nothing else, it was nice to not see the two of them against Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez, as they went with something fresh instead. Nicely done, and the guitar playing made it even better.

Naomi comes in to see Sonya Deville, who had no idea she was coming. Sonya has nothing for her to do, but they’ll do something next week. Naomi isn’t happy.

Rey Mysterio thinks it is time for Dominik Mysterio to wrestle on his own, so he has gotten Dominik a singles match against….well Rey isn’t sure.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Sami Zayn

Sami drives him into the corner to start but Dominik hits a quick backdrop. The springboard armdrag out of the corner sets up a dropkick to rock Sami again but the 619 misses. Dominik crashes down to the floor so Rey comes out to check on him as we take a break. Back with Dominik blocking the Blue Thunder Bomb and elbowing the heck out of Sami’s head. Now the 619 connects but Dominik rolls away from the frog splash. An exploder suplex into the corner rocks Dominik again and the Helluva Kick finishes for Sami at 7:47.

Rating: C-. Remember how Dominik has been doing his same thing for about a year now? This is the latest example, as Dominik still just isn’t that interesting. There is only so much that can be done with a guy whose whole deal is that he is the son of a famous wrestler and we are still getting to see it every week. The match was watchable, but Dominik has never really gone beyond that and that is a problem.

Post match Rey goes to help Dominik up but Dominik doesn’t want it and walks off, ignoring Rey’s pep talk.

The Bloodline is on their way to the ring and Paul Heyman tries to hand him the title. Reigns says Heyman is coming with them because he is family and Reigns loves him.

Here is the Bloodline for the big family celebration. Roman Reigns takes his time listening to the fans booing him so Paul Heyman says the people have the chance to acknowledge him. In addition, you may cheer for the Usos as well! Heyman says we have seen enough of John Cena, who was beaten by Roman Reigns at Summerslam. Cue Finn Balor to say that a lot of people are talking about the Universal Title, but he was wanting to challenge for the title himself.

Balor doesn’t trust anyone around here though and he isn’t waiting around. Instead, he wants his title shot next week on Smackdown. There is no answer but Balor charges at the three of them to start the brawl. Cue the Street Profits to go after the Usos, setting up a bunch of house show matches around the horn. Balor hits the Coup de Grace on Jey as an annoyed Reigns watches from the stage to end the show. The challenge didn’t get an answer.

Overall Rating: C+. This was all about the Summerslam fallout and it did well enough in that regard. They covered a bunch of stuff and you can see where a lot of things are going. Balor getting his title shot next week leaves them open for a likely fatal four way at Extreme Rules and then Lesnar vs. Reigns in Saudi Arabia, which is the most likely destination for everyone. The rest of the show was mostly talking based, but they hit the big stories well enough to make the show work.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Carmella, Zelina Vega and Liv Morgan last eliminating Morgan
Cesaro b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Pumphandle slam to Ziggler
Sami Zayn b. Dominik Mysterio – Helluva Kick

 

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2017 (Original): Hoss Fight Summer

Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s finally time for one of the biggest shows of the year as WWE takes over New York City all over again. This time around the big main event is a four way for the Universal Title with Brock Lesnar defending against Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman and Samoa Joe. The rest of the card is too deep to break down in short order so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan vs. Miz/Miztourage

The idea here is that Miz wants to be defending his Intercontinental Title against Jason Jordan but is stuck in this for reasons that aren’t clear. The section opposite the hard camera is MAYBE ten percent full because we’re about an hour and a half away from the start of the pay per view.

Jeff takes Axel into the corner to start and hands it off to Jordan to work on the arm. Dallas comes in and gets the same treatment, sending the Miztourage outside for a breather as we take a break (with empty sections of seats being shown on camera). Back with Jeff in trouble with Miz hammering away and working on the arm.

Matt comes in and throws some right hands but the Twist of Fate (with Matt shouting TWIST OF FATE) is broken up. Miz gets in some YES Kicks but gets sent into the corner, setting up the hot tag to Jordan. The suplexes send the Miztourage flying as everything breaks down. Jordan hits the running shoulder in the corner to Axel but Miz makes a blind tag, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to put Jordan away at 10:31.

Rating: C-. Ridiculous looking non-crowd aside, not much of a match here. In theory you would have Miz lose the fall to Jordan here to set up the title match but it wouldn’t shock me if they had Miz beat him and then set it up anyway. This match didn’t need to happen and only served as a way to have some of these names on the card.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is defending after winning the title on Monday. The crowd is looking far better already with the section opposite the hard camera now mostly full. Neville, in white trunks for a change, gets knocked outside so Tozawa can do his shouting. Tozawa follows him out but gets sent into the LED apron as we take a break.

Back with Neville throwing on a chinlock until Tozawa throws him outside for a suicide dive. A hard belly to back suplex drops Neville and an Octopus Hold has him in even more trouble. Neville makes the ropes and cuts off a charge with an enziguri, only to get kicked down as well to put them back to even. Back up and Tozawa rocks Neville with a right hand but it’s still too early for the backsplash. The superplex is broken up but the backsplash hits raised knees. The Red Arrow gives Neville the title back at 11:47.

Rating: C. And that would makes them 2-2 in 50/50 booking on the Kickoff Show so far. Neville lost the title on Monday and gets it back on Monday for whatever reason, despite having no one left to defend the thing against. I’m sure this is going to thrill the fans so far, now that they’re at least in the arena.

Here’s Elias to sing two songs, one of which insults Brooklyn in general and the other of which insults local singers. No match or anything but this is a thing that happened.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending with Big E. and Woods in the ring. Before the match, Kofi (in Red Lantern inspired gear) talks about New Day’s history in Brooklyn, which is the first place they sang to the crowd and the birthplace of Francesca. Woods forearms Jimmy down to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner. A raised boot cuts him off though and we take a break.

Back with Woods fighting out of a chinlock before coming up with a dropkick to Jey. Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron though and it’s a Death Valley Driver into the corner for two. A modified Demolition Decapitator gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up with Woods getting in a faceplant for the tag off to Big E. as house is cleaned in a hurry. The Warrior Splash hits Jimmy and Big E. powerbombs Woods onto him for good measure.

In a real twist, Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders for a splash. JBL: “That’s what you’ve come to expect from the New Day!” A move they’ve never done before? Jey comes in off a hot tag and a double spinebuster gets two on Big E. It’s back to Woods who sends Jimmy into Big E. for a Rock Bottom/Backstabber combination and a near fall. Everything breaks down with the twins being sent outside for a dive from Woods, only to have Big E.’s stopped by a superkick.

The Superfly Splash gets two on Xavier but he’s back up with a Koji Clutch on Jey. A Shining Wizard gets two more and the Midnight Hour plants Jey with Jimmy diving in at the last second for the save. Woods charges at Jey, who launches him over the top into a Samoan drop on the floor. Big E. spears Jey through the ropes, only to have the Big Ending broken up by a blind tag. Five superkicks and a double Superfly Splash gives us new champions at 19:09.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here as the three people/teams who won during the week go to 0-3 on the Kickoff Show. I have no idea what the point is in putting the titles back on the Usos as they cleaned out the “division” in recent months, pretty much leaving New Day alone as a good face team. Breezango barely wrestles anymore and we’ve done the two of them vs. the Usos, but that’s never stopped WWE before.

We get a KFC ad featuring various people auditioning to be the next Colonel Sanders. This cuts to the arena where Shawn Michaels comes out in a sleeveless Sanders outfit, dances around, slides over the announcers’ table, and nothing else. This is one of the most random things I’ve ever seen.

The opening video looks at every match under the slogan Go Big.

No pyro again, but let me introduce you to the ridiculous amount of commentary teams and all their equipment to broadcast live in various languages.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Cena cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in on Monday. For a change of pace, Cena slides to the floor and grabs JBL’s hat while saying Corbin is shaken up. Back in and Cena’s headlock is broken up with some knees to the ribs. Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline gets two and it’s time to yell at the referee.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two and triggers a WHERE’S YOUR BRIEFCASE chant. That earns Cena a chokebreaker as this is mostly one sided so far. Cena fights out of a superplex with a tornado DDT but the AA is broken up. Deep Six gives Corbin two but Cena comes right back with the Attitude Adjustment for the fast pin at 10:18.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I said this about a Cena match but this sucked. This was Cena getting beaten up for eight minutes and then coming back with a single AA for the pin (which NEVER happens). I don’t know if Corbin ran over Vince’s dog or something but he’s been crushed in the last week for no apparent reason. This was really odd and a big letdown, at least partially due to time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Natalya is challenging after winning an elimination match last month. Naomi starts fast and knocks her outside, meaning it’s time to shout a lot. Back in and the champ’s leg gets snapped over the top rope and then over the turnbuckle for good measure. A suplex gives Natalya two, followed by a small package to give Naomi the same.

Back up and Natalya blasts her with a clothesline, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two more. The discus clothesline drops Naomi again but she comes back with a Russian legsweep. Naomi declares it GLOW TIME and does her dancing kicks (the ones that make almost no contact) but Natalya pulls her down to the mat instead. Back up and the reverse Rings of Saturn is reversed into the Sharpshooter for the surprise tap out at 10:49.

Rating: C-. Natalya looked far better out there but sweet goodness this division is getting less and less interesting all the time. The longer we wait for Charlotte and Becky Lynch to be in the title picture, the worse this division seems, mainly because it feels like a big waste of time. This match should have been on the Kickoff Show or not on the show whatsoever, but that might mean someone doesn’t make the card and that would just be unforgivable.

There’s no Carmella appearance.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass turned on Enzo Amore for running his mouth too much (gee I’m stunned) so Enzo brought in Show to help deal with him. Tonight Enzo is locked in a shark cage and Show’s hand is broken due to an attack by Cass.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Enzo runs his mouth before the match and sucks up to Brooklyn, furthering his status as my least favorite person in the company. I don’t think I need to explain to you why Enzo is really annoying but he’s been even more so lately. Show slugs away with his left hand as Enzo runs his mouth about how we’re going to work tonight while dancing in the cage, causing it to rattle loudly. Show hurts his hand on a missed Vader Bomb as Enzo is now jumping up and down.

Cass hammers on the hand and grabs an armbar for some psychology. The fans think this is boring as Show fights up with a left handed chokeslam for two. Cass knocks him down again and Enzo is taking his pants off. He pulls out some hidden oil and covers himself with it, allowing him to slip through the bars. Enzo gets down so Cass kicks him in the head but the big boot only gets two on Show. A second big boot sets up the Empire Elbow for the pin on Show at 10:28.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t stand someone as much as I can’t stand Enzo. Stephanie maybe? Cass winning helps a lot here and hopefully he can now move on to ANYTHING else. He looked good in his win and now he can move on to a fresh feud. Show is actually really acceptable in this role as he’s just putting people over on the big stage and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Daniel Bryan comes in to see Kurt Angle to say he thinks Smackdown will steam the show. Bryan: “It’s true, it’s true.” Angle thinks Raw will be better and starts a YES chant. This turns into one heck of a YES/NO battle until both guys get winded.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Not much of a story here as Rusev wanted competition and Orton answered him. Rusev jumps Orton during the entrance and beats the heck out of him before the bell. Orton says he can go and it’s an RKO for the pin at 9 seconds.

That right there is the perfect example of why I can’t stand these huge cards. This is obviously, and I do mean obviously, a case of cutting something for time. Why is it being cut for time? It’s so we could have a Cruiserweight Title rematch and a six man rematch on the Kickoff Show. Neither match was good and both matches pretty much advanced nothing (the Cruiserweight Title match actually took us back in time) but they ate up time that could have gone to this match, which could have been interesting. Instead Rusev looks like an idiot and the match barely exists. Just don’t put someone on the card. They’ll be ok.

Sasha Banks is coming to the ring when she runs into Bayley, who gets booed while wishing Bayley good luck.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging as a replacement for an injured Bayley. They brawl into the corner with the fans booing the heck out of Sasha. Bliss hits the hardest right hand she’s ever thrown but gets caught with a crossbody for two. Banks gets caught in the corner and faceplanted down to the mat. The New York fans are of course pleased with the woman from Boston getting beaten up, including having Bliss stand on her hair.

Alexa chokes in the corner and hits some double knees to the back. Some more choking ensues but Banks flips her out of the corner for a breather. Sasha makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a dropkick. Bliss tries a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Sasha flip her backwards and head first into the buckles.

The Bank Statement goes on but it’s way too close to the ropes. Bliss takes her outside and sends her hard into the barricade, possibly injuring Sasha’s shoulder. Banks is back in at nine so Bliss is right on the arm, followed by Twisted Bliss for two. Some shots to the shoulder break up another Bank Statement, only to have Banks grab it again for the tap and the title at 13:17.

Rating: B-. Bliss did most of the work in the match and looked far better than I ever would have believed just a few months ago. This run has turned her into a completely acceptable worker, which isn’t what you would have expected. Banks winning is the right call long term, but they did a pretty lame job of building the match towards the finish. Still though, best thing on the show by a few miles so far.

We see the Shawn Michaels KFC bit again.

Long recap of Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray seemed to think that Balor was a false idol and promised to destroy him. Wyatt beat him this past Monday and then poured “blood” over him for some extra effect. Balor then said that Bray had his demons, but he did too. I think you know what that means.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

After Bray’s full entrance, a voice starts singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. That means the Demon King returns for the first time since last Summerslam to easily the reaction of the night. Finn crawls around and Bray takes an early breather on the still smoky floor. Back in and Balor hammers away, kicking Bray right back to the floor. Balor jumps over him in the corner so Bray leans over backwards for a scary look of his own.

That’s fine with Finn who sends him outside for a flip dive but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. A suplex onto the floor knocks Balor silly though and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Balor pops back up and knocks him outside for a kick from the apron, followed by a Sling Blade back inside. Bray boots him in the face for two and declares that he has him. Balor gets in the shotgun dropkick against the barricade and throws him back inside for a quick Coup de Grace at 9:42 in another weak finish.

Rating: C+. As has been the case all night (and ever for the most part), it’s such a waste of a match to do it once on Monday and then again on Sunday. Why should I care that Balor won here when Bray already beat him earlier in the week? Either way, this was hardly a great return for Balor, who was the most obvious winner in the world here. Bray loses on the big stage, again, and it’s time to start his cycle all over again.

We recap Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins, which has very little to do with Cesaro/Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins were tired of getting double teamed and teased getting back together for weeks. It FINALLY happened earlier this week and they were granted an immediate shot at the Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending. Ambrose headlocks Sheamus to start and it’s a blind tag from Rollins to set up a knee drop. A dropkick staggers Cesaro and the champs are knocked to the floor without too much effort. Sheamus pulls Dean outside for a Brogue Kick though and Seth gets slammed on the floor for good measure.

Seth grabs a Blockbuster for a breather but hang on a second as Cesaro is running into the crowd. He grabs a beach ball that a fan was batting around and rips it to shreds, drawing a heck of a YES chant. I certainly love him a lot more now. Cesaro suplexes Seth down for two but seems to have tweaked his knee.

Rollins gets taken outside for a double beating, only to have Ambrose come off the top with the elbow to put everyone down. Back in and the champs are clotheslined over the top, setting up the double suicide dives. A Hart Attack with a Sling Blade (not a Blockbuster Cole) gets two on Cesaro and the rebound lariat puts him down again. Sheamus gets caught on top for a superplex with Rollins tagging himself in for a frog splash and a near fall with Cesaro making the save.

Cesaro breaks up the double bomb out of the corner and Dirty Deeds is countered into the Sharpshooter. Dean is almost in the ropes but Cesaro switches to a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Since that’s not going to work, it’s a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two instead. White Noise is loaded up but Seth hurricanranas Cesaro off the top into Sheamus for the crazy save. A jumping knee to the face knocks Sheamus into Dirty Deeds for the pin and the titles at 18:35.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the ending looking great. That ending was a great touch as the Shield guys worked so well together. I’m not usually a fan of having two guys put together to become champions but it helps to have such a strong history between them. Now all they need is Roman as a surprise and things should be great all over again.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles for the US Title. They’ve traded the title in recent months but Owens blames his recent loss on bad refereeing. This meant Shane McMahon was appointed as guest referee, so Owens started bringing up Shane’s history as a crooked referee and his issues with AJ. The question is will Shane screw someone over and who will it be.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending with Shane McMahon as guest referee. Owens jumps him at the bell and hammers away with AJ’s comeback being cut off without much effort. The Cannonball gets two and Owens yells at Shane. A chinlock and backbreaker get two more on the champ but AJ says bring it. Styles wins a slugout and hits a belly to back faceplant for two but can’t follow up.

Back up and AJ manages the Phenomenal Forearm, only to hit Shane by mistake. That means there’s no one to count the Pop Up Powerbomb so Owens yells at Shane. As you might expect, AJ gets back up and knocks Shane to the floor by mistake. The Calf Crusher goes on and Owens taps to no avail.

Everyone gets back in and AJ forearms Owens down, only to get caught in the spinning superplex for two. AJ comes right back with the Styles Clash for a close two. Owens grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin but AJ’s foot was on the ropes and Shane calls it off. That means an argument and Shane shoves Owens into a rollup for two. The Pele sets up the Phenomenal Forearm and a second Styles Clash retains the title at 17:25.

Rating: B. This was too much about Shane and they’re not exactly being subtle about the upcoming Owens vs. McMahon match. AJ retaining is the right call here as there’s no need to put it back on Owens if he’s going to be feuding with Shane in the coming weeks. It wasn’t quite the blow away match I was expecting but it was a good, back and forth fight and a definitive ending, which is the most important thing.

Some fans won a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Jinder Mahal won the title in May in a huge upset and has continued to defy his critics ever since. Shinsuke Nakamura became #1 contender by pinning John Cena clean. There’s also no Baron Corbin to cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase any longer.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder is defending and Nakamura is played to the ring by a live violinist. The threat of some kicks brings Mahal close enough to grab a wristlock, only to have Nakamura spin out and send Mahal outside. Nakamura says bring it on so Mahal gets back inside, only to get caught with Good Vibrations. Shinsuke is getting a little too comfortable so the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Mahal to pound him down and grab a chinlock.

Back up and Nakamura gets in a spinning kick to the jaw and a cross armbreaker but Jinder makes the ropes. Some hard kicks to the front and back of the head have Mahal reeling but here are the Singh Brothers for another distraction. This time it allows the Khallas to end Nakamura at 11:25.

Rating: D+. And Mahal retains to bore another day. I have no idea what’s supposed to interest me about Mahal but it’s really missing. Nakamura might not have been ready to win the title but the Singh Brothers distraction into a Khallas is about as lame of a finish as there is in WWE right now. If he had a great finisher or something it would make a big difference, but sweet goodness this let the air out of the place.

We recap the Universal Title match and simply put, this is going to be chaos. Brock Lesnar is defending against Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns with basically a guarantee of pure anarchy. I don’t think you need much more of an explanation.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending, anything goes, and he leaves WWE if he loses. Naturally Paul Heyman handles Lesnar’s Big Match Intro and we’re ready to go. Joe goes after Lesnar while Strowman and Reigns head outside. The first suplex sends Joe outside but Reigns posts Strowman to set up the first showdown. The first German suplex drops Reigns and Joe comes in to take the second. NOW it’s the real showdown though with Strowman vs. Lesnar and the fans are way into this one.

Joe and Reigns cut it off though and we’re forced to wait a bit more. The wait is only a few seconds though as Reigns and Joe are knocked outside and it’s Strowman LAUNCHING Lesnar into the corner and clotheslining him hard to the floor. Reigns comes back in and clotheslines Strowman, who calmly shoves Reigns away. Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch on Lesnar but sidesteps a spear, sending Lesnar HARD through the barricade.

Joe Rock Bottoms Reigns onto the announcers’ table but Strowman runs Joe over, leaving him as the last man standing. Strowman goes to load up the table as Graves hopes he uses Saxton as a weapon. A running powerslam drives Brock through a table but Reigns dropkicks Strowman down. Joe’s suicide elbow drops Reigns so Strowman throws a commentator’s chair at both of them.

Lesnar is getting back up so Strowman powerslams him through the second announcers’ table. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Strowman obliges by turning the last table over on top of Lesnar, drawing a bunch of referees and agents to save the champ. Heyman: “NOOOOO!” We get a stretcher for Brock as Heyman is absolutely losing his mind. Lesnar is taken out and Strowman wants to know where the Beast is now.

Strowman picks up some steps and decks both guys but Reigns slows him down with a few shots. A shot with the steps has Strowman reeling and a third sends him outside, only to have Joe come in with a rollup for two on Reigns. Roman gets two off the Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch. Strowman is right back in though and a double chokeslam gets two.

The Undertaker chants start up and here’s Brock again. Strowman gets taken down and a running forearm knocks him to the floor. It’s Suplex City time with both Samoans being sent flying. Strowman, with a bloody ear, breaks out of a suplex attempt so Brock goes with the Kimura.

Reigns makes the save with a Superman Punch, followed by another one to both guys. A weird looking spear (Lesnar didn’t really go backwards) gets two on Brock but Reigns gets caught in the Koquina Clutch. That’s broken up by a Strowman dropkick (Cole: “Is there anything he can’t do?”) for two on Joe. The Pop Up Superman Punch gets two more on Strowman and Reigns is almost scared by the kickout.

Braun gets two more off the powerslam with Lesnar making a save. Lesnar can’t F5 Braun but Reigns spears Braun out to the floor, leaving him alone with Brock. Joe is back in with the Clutch on Lesnar but Brock reverses into the F5 for two with Reigns making the save for his only positive reaction of the night. Three straight Superman Punches drop Brock but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain the title at 21:01.

Rating: A. I need a breather. You can tell they’re setting up something special for Strowman here as he didn’t take the pin, nor did he have anyone really get the better of him all match. Lesnar vs. Strowman is REALLY tempting right now and I’d love to see it happen at some big match. Like at Survivor Series or so.

That being said, WOW what a fight. These guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time and Lesnar looked incredibly vulnerable at times. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when he’s not the unstoppable machine and it looks like WWE is starting to learn that. It was great stuff here and Strowman looked like a monster, which is all he needed to be here. The fallout from this is going to be interesting and Reigns taking the fall hopefully means a bit of a downgrade for him.

Lesnar looks like he just fell out of a building to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The first hour of this show was awful and came as close as you can get to sinking what was an otherwise very good show. For once it helps when you have that much more time after the first hour to save things, but hopefully this shows WWE (it won’t) that four hours is too long for a regular show. If you cut out some of the bad stuff, this is a classic. As it is, it’s just a very good show with a great main event. In other words, good, but WWE gets in its own way again.

That being said, I really liked parts of this with the main event obviously blowing away everything else on the show. They have some serious options going forward, assuming they can manage to get Lesnar to show up more than once every few months. Strowman looks like the star of stars at this point and if they don’t do him vs. Lesnar before the end of Wrestlemania XXXIV, they’ve lost their freaking minds. Good show, but it needs an hour or so shaved off to bring it to that next level.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2016 (Original): The First Of One

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second biggest night of the year but there’s a real case to be made that this show is much bigger than Wrestlemania. There are five potential main events with the likely headliner of Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton. Based on the matches alone there’s almost no way this isn’t great so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Rematch from Smackdown. Gable takes Breeze to the mat to start and works on the arm before it’s off to Jey. English comes in and gets his arm cranked by Rawley. Ryder comes in with a middle rope dropkick and everything breaks down with Alpha taking down Ascension with a top rope clothesline. Everyone is on the floor as we take a break. Back with Gotch cranking on Ryder’s arm before Viktor comes in with a chinlock.

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. This was a much longer version of what we got on Smackdown but at least they’re actually setting up the first major feud. Now that being said, I don’t buy the idea of Alpha winning the titles outright as it seems smarter to have them get really close but let another team steal the belts. That allows Alpha to chase them for a bit and build up the rest of the division in the process. Or they could just give us Alpha vs. the Usos and then wonder why everything after that is a letdown.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

The Dudleys have been having some issues as of late. Neville and D-Von start as Cole confirms that Orton vs. Lesnar is the main event. The good guys take turns on D-Von’s arm until Neville uses Sami’s back as a launchpad for a corkscrew moonsault. Bubba gets in a shot from behind to take over as the fans want tables. D-Von cranks on Neville’s neck and we take a break.

Back with Bubba hitting a neckbreaker out of the corner and telling D-Von to work on that neck. It’s back to Bubba, who shouts at the “English boy” to fight back. The middle rope splash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Sami gets caught in the reverse 3D. Bubba clotheslines D-Von again, setting up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C. Remember the last few weeks where Bubba and D-Von can’t win basic matches? Well this was an extended version of that. Sami and Neville are fine for a tag team, though you would think Sami would have been much better suited getting a singles run off that big win over Owens. But nah, we need Cesaro vs. Sheamus in at least six matches instead of giving Sami some kind of a push.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #1 in a best of seven series to establish dominance, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. Cesaro has a tear away tuxedo tonight. Cole: “Cesaro set to take on Cesaro tonight.” Apparently these two have been going back and forth. Now normally that would imply that they had both won a match but winning matches is so blasé anymore.

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the uppercuts to set up the lifting superplex for two. That’s not enough for the Neutralizer though as Sheamus grabs White Noise to escape. A middle rope Regal Roll gets two more for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is blocked, followed by a very hard clothesline from Cesaro.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: yes this was a hard hitting, entertaining match but these two aren’t exactly the kind of wrestlers who vary their offense too much. How many different things are they going to be able to do to keep this presumably long series fresh? At least the first match was good and they went with the only option as you can’t have Sheamus lose three times in a row.

The opening video focuses on New York City because Heaven forbid we don’t tell New Yorkers how amazing their city is every chance we get. A good highlight package for most of the matches plays over the narration.

There’s an especially big Titantron to give the show a unique look.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Enzo and Cass suck up to the fans (makes sense) and sing a song I’m not familiar with. That leads to a talk about Frank Sinatra and Cass singing a little New York, New York. Now it’s time to talk about Big E. Smalls because they’re another problem for Jeri-KO. The Canadians jump Cass to start and double team Enzo for some good strategy. The fans chant STUPID IDIOT until Enzo punches Jericho in the face and tags in Cass.

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Jericho cuts off a hot tag attempt and there’s the springboard dropkick to take Cass off the apron. Owens adds the frog splash for a near fall as you can hear the fans being very much into this. The Cannonball misses and that’s enough for the hot tag to Cass. The Bada Boom Shakalacka is broken up (and that’s a shame), allowing Owens to Cannonball Cass against the barricade. Back in and Owens launches Enzo into a Codebreaker for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Fun opener but the ending is a bit of a headscratcher, assuming this ends the feud. That ending was certainly dominance establishing if anything ever has been but that doesn’t mean enough to end a feud anymore. Notice that they’re still protecting Cass, which is a really good idea. I don’t think he’s actually been pinned yet in WWE and that could mean something special for his future.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan run into Mick Foley for the standard “my show is better”. They run into Jon Stewart, who freaks out about Foley working with Stephanie…..who is right behind Stewart. Stephanie teases abusing her power when New Day cuts them off. Foley steals some cereal as New Day asks if they can borrow Stewart. Stephanie says she’s misunderstood.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Women’s Title, which Banks won from Charlotte just under a month ago. The big deal is that Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, despite Banks winning after Dana was ejected in the first match.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and gets right in Charlotte’s face before we can even get the Big Match Intros. Cole again gets the dominance concept in as Charlotte uses her “physical dominance” to put Sasha in the corner. The champ comes right back with an early Bank Statement attempt to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte puts her on the top rope for a choke with her boot before trying a backbreaker onto the top, only to have Sasha crash onto the ropes for two instead.

Charlotte stays on the back with a Gory Special and an STO backbreaker for another near fall. A hurricanrana gets Sasha out of trouble for a bit but Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. In the move that has to be countered to avoid death, Charlotte’s super Razor’s Edge is countered with another hurricanrana to put both of them down. They slug it out with Sasha slapping away to take over before putting on a Boston crab in the corner.

The double knees to the back get two before Sasha knocks her to the floor for the double knees to the chest. She’s lucky that didn’t crush Charlotte’s head. The Bank Statement doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte escape again. Now Natural Selection connects for a string of two counts before Sasha grabs another Bank Statement. Charlotte is in trouble until she grabs the leg and rolls Sasha up for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. Remember when Sasha won the title and it was a big deal and felt like a change of pace? Yeah forget all that because we’re likely heading for a gimmick match at Clash of the Champions as the title is hot potatoed again. This is another good example of the booking being suited for whatever they have coming up instead of what makes sense, especially when you could do the same thing to set up a third match later on. Not a fan of the booking but the match was the usual good stuff from these two.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging after winning a triple threat. These two have had almost no contact to build this up and it’s a pretty forgotten match coming in. Speaking of forgotten, Maryse’s outfit (basically a one piece swimsuit) is likely going to cause a lot of people to forget that there’s a match going on. Crews gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a DDT. Miz gets dropkicked out of the air and Crews slams him hard for two. An overhead belly to belly sets up the standing moonsault (from Crews if that’s not clear) and a rollup gets two. Crews misses a charge into the corner though and the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:40.

Rating: C. Just a Smackdown match here with the Intercontinental Title still not doing much at Summerslam. Crews losing here is fine as it’s not like he’s done anything worthy of being champion yet. That being said, it would be nice if the fans were given something to cheer for on this very long night.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. AJ beat him (with the help of the Club) at Money in the Bank and they’ve actually held off on the rematch since. The idea is an old standard as AJ thinks it’s his time but Cena wants to stand up for what he believes in and isn’t ready to go yet. The promos have more than carried it though and that’s what really matters, especially when the match itself will be great.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

AJ’s strike rush has Cena in trouble but he comes back again with the running shoulders. Styles gets right up and hits the Pele to set up the first Styles Clash for the first kicking out of a finisher. Since this is a Cena pay per view match, an AA hits immediately after for two more. I knew that was coming before they were even off the mat.

A torture rack powerbomb gets two more for AJ before something like a Big Ending of all things gets the same for Cena. The AA backbreaker drops Cena for two more but AJ misses a springboard 450. Cena can’t follow up though and AJ gets two off a belly to back into a facebuster. There’s the STF but Styles reverses into a not great Crossface. Cena powers out but gets pulled down into the Calf Crusher.

That’s reversed into the STF which is escaped for an enziguri from AJ. They’re just trading big moves here. The tornado DDT and top rope Fameasser get two each for Cena so AJ uses his turn for a super hurricanrana. The Phenomenal Forearm gets two more so Cena uses that big clothesline that he uses for a comeback. Cena grabs the super AA for two in a very rare failure for that move. John looks at him in awe and charges into another Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for the completely clean pin at 23:17.

Rating: A. That’s going to set the bar very high for the match of the weekend. AJ winning clean here is a HUGE deal for him and makes him the pretty much undisputed #1 contender for the Smackdown World Title. It’s really nice to see the trend of “Cena loses, Cena wins, Cena wins again” broken and the fact that it was in such a great match helped a lot. Oh and very good move to have AJ kick out of the super AA and then win. It would have been such a waste otherwise. This was great stuff and the ending made it even better so I’m much happier than I was coming in.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Here’s Jon Stewart to say that was a great match because no one interfered and hit one of them with a chair. Yes he did that last year and he learned that you never take an AA without tucking your shirt in. He’s been asked by New Day to join with them for one night and puts on a unicorn horn. Stewart starts Big E.’s intro but the crowd does the rest for him.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Anderson offers a quick distraction so Kofi can get beaten down for a bit, only to have Woods get the tag a few moments later. A big elbow from the top (as in the middle of the rope, not the corner) gets two on Anderson as everything breaks down. There’s the Magic Killer but Stewart comes in to yell. Anderson and Gallows go to beat him up, allow Stewart to tuck in his shirt, and go to crotch him against the post. Cue Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to keep the titles on New Day for a year as they’ll likely drop them to Anderson and Gallows at Clash of the Champions. The match was nothing special of course as again this felt like a Raw match to fill in time on a pay per view instead of something that actually mattered. Not bad or anything but just there.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

Dean swivels his hips a bit (so he’s ripped off Shawn Michaels, Dolph Ziggler, Dude Love and Rick Rude so far) before they fall out to the floor. Ziggler hits a quick superkick before the Zig Zag gets two back inside. The sleeper doesn’t get Ziggler very far as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two more. Ziggler takes him up for a super faceplant but gets shoved down and caught in Dirty Deeds for the clean pin (and silence from the crowd) at 15:22.

Rating: B-. That was a good midcard title match disguised as a World Title match for reasons that I don’t even want to try to comprehend. Ziggler losing clean like that was rather stupid but you had to expect something close to it. People just don’t buy him as a big deal and it’s really hard to after all these losses. It’s probably the best move though because either of these guys is just keeping the title warm for Styles.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Eva Marie gets her full entrance but apparently she’s suffering from exhaustion and anxiety brought on by mean WWE fans. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

Becky and Natalya start things off before it’s off to Naomi for a springboard sunset flip for two. The splits legdrop gets two more and it’s off to Carmella to send Natalya into a raised boot. Natalya takes over and it’s back to Nikki to a shockingly strong pop. A spinebuster gets two on Carmella before Bliss comes in for her moonsault knees to the ribs for two. Carmella finally crawls over and makes the tag off to Becky as things speed up but the crowd stays quiet.

Becky fires off the kicks in the corner and the Bexploder drops Natalya. A hard enziguri hits Natalya again and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. The split legged moonsault misses though and we get Carmella vs. Nikki as everything breaks down. Nikki hits her big forearm and a TKO puts Carmella away at 11:04. Ranallo: “Nikki Bella victorious in her return to WWE!”

Rating: C. Well there’s your first Smackdown Women’s Champion and to be fair, it’s not the worst idea. The only real options they had for realistic potential champions were Becky (fine) and Natalya (save me) as Naomi isn’t interesting and the other three aren’t ready for the title scene. Nikki is a good addition, but egads I was liking not having to hear about how inspirational they are and how much we should admire them.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

Maria Menunos of all people interviews Rusev and Lana, who say the title isn’t going anywhere.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in. We see the belt for the first time and it’s the same as the Smackdown World Title but with a red strap and a UNIVERSAL CHAMPION plate on the bottom. Balor does the full on Demon entrance (complete with something like a Papa Shango paint design) and the fans are VERY pleased. This has to be won via pin or submission so it’s essentially a street fight.

Balor hits a quick dropkick and loads up the Coup de Grace but Rollins gets to the floor. Finn follows him out and starts going after the leg before diving off the barricade. Back in and Balor works on the leg, only to be taken outside for a powerbomb into the barricade. Rollins chokes away in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock. Things stay slow as Seth works on the back (too common of a target tonight) before ripping at Finn’s face.

The good looking frog splash gets two on Balor but he reverses a clothesline (looked like a Rainmaker, which is still just a clothesline) into a DDT. A knee to the face sends Rollins outside and a Sling Blade knocks him silly inside. 1916 gets two for Finn but the Coup de Grace misses and Seth grabs a triangle choke of all things. Finn gets his foot on the ropes but that’s not a break because there’s no DQ. Uh….that’s not really the same as rope breaks not counting but I get the idea.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb sets up the low superkick for two. A small package driver (fisherman’s driver into a fast small package) gets two more but Balor kicks him down, only to miss the Coup de Grace. The Pedigree only gets two and the fans aren’t even responding to the near falls anymore. Seth rolls through a Phoenix Splash (geez) but runs to the top for a superplex into a Pedigree attempt, only to have Balor dropkick him into the corner. The Coup de Grace makes Balor champion at 19:16.

Rating: B+. This was the only option as they had to pull the trigger on Balor (or someone) after the ratings have been such a disaster. Balor might not be a great champion but they’ve made him feel like a big deal and that’s what they need on this show. Rollins can take the title back whenever if necessary but at least the match was great and Rollins put him over clean.

Cole says Balor is the first person to win a World Title in his first match on a pay per view. No Cole, he’s not.

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

It’s 10:26pm and we’ve got two matches left, so here’s a video of Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz in a chicken suit. No this isn’t some fever dream from watching too much wrestling lately. This is really happening and you’re supposed to be entertained by it.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Rusev is being helped off and Reigns runs back out for the spear. Ok Reigns is the heel now. Let’s see: he showed up to the wedding celebration uninvited, ruined Lana’s dress and then attacked an injured man. Rusev on the other hand was standing up for his wife and defending her honor. Why does that make him a heel here?

Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, the same one from the last few weeks on TV. They were put together to give Lesnar a big match and they’ve traded finishers since.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

They circle each other to start until Lesnar takes him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. A way too early RKO attempt is countered and we get three German suplexes in the first two minutes. Lesnar hits three more before sending Orton outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. A throw off the barricade sends Orton through the table as this has been one sided so far. JBL talks about the OVW class these two came out of and says Brock has beaten everyone out of that class save for Orton. Again, no JBL, he hasn’t (never beat Batista on TV, beat Orton in a nothing match).

Lesnar goes to the other table but gets caught in a quick RKO. The DDT off the barricade knocks him even sillier but Orton spends too much time loading up the Punt and gets caught in an F5 for two. Lesnar takes the gloves off and hammers away with punches and elbows. Brock finally gets up and Orton is GUSHING blood. The doctor comes in but Lesnar shoves him away and keeps pounding away as the fans chant for Goldberg. They actually call the match at 12:42 and we’re done.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to grade this one. If this ended due to a legit injury and they couldn’t stop the blood then that’s perfectly fine and I completely get it. If this was the planned ending, my goodness what are they thinking? After a show this long, you don’t give us a thirteen minute main event with Lesnar winning AGAIN, especially in such dominant fashion. It’s just stupid booking and serves no one but people who think Lesnar is interesting for reasons I’ll never understand.

Post match Lesnar stays at it until Shane McMahon comes out…..and takes an F5 to end the show. They can’t possibly be setting this up for Wrestlemania, right? Like, there’s no way they’re that stupid. SOMEONE TELL ME THEY’RE REALLY NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID!

Overall Rating: B. So as you might not know, I write up a lot of the overall rating before the show ends for the sake of time and occasionally adjust it accordingly. In this case, the show dropped all the way from an A- to a B on that ending angle alone. We’ve spent HOW LONG watching Brock tear through people and be the most dominant thing ever to set up a match against SHANE FREAKING MCMAHON of all people? And for what? To continue this Raw vs. Smackdown feud?

I was thrilled when Shane came back because he was full of energy and all that jazz, but then he gets to have a thirty minute match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania where he kicked out of multiple finishers and now he might get TO FIGHT BROCK LESNAR??? Are you serious? At what point does Shane become more annoying than Stephanie with all this catering to him because he’s a McMahon? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we passed it months ago.

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

I’d like to point out that they had three matches on a two hour pre-show, nine matches on a four hour pay per view, cut a match out and STILL ran over. At what point do you look at a show and realize that you need to trim things down a bit? Apparently not here but at least it’s better than what they did at Wrestlemania.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like a Wrestlemania card than this year’s Wrestlemania did. There was a great match, a return, new champions and less questionable booking (It should be noted that during the show, news broke that Sasha was injured which completely explains the loss. Oh and save for LESNAR VS. SHANE AGAIN) than the biggest show of the year. If this was trimmed down by about half an hour to an hour, it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just very good and that’s a great sign for them going forward.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2015 (Original): He Actually Did It

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2014 (Original): NO WAY!

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and much like last year, the main event seems to pretty much set in stone. Brock Lesnar is challenging John Cena for the World Title and I can’t see any real reason for Cena to keep the title. There’s always the chance of Rollins cashing in but it doesn’t seem like something that happens. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Rob takes him into the corner to start but gets thrown into the corner himself with pure power. Cesaro charges into a boot though and they head outside with Van Dam hitting a quick Rolling Thunder. Back in and Cesaro just throws Van Dam down as we take a break. We come back with Van Dam caught in a chinlock. A knee drop to Rob’s back gets two but Rob comes back with some clotheslines.

Rob gets two off the split legged moonsault before kicking Cesaro to the floor for an apron moonsault. Back in and the Five Star is broken up by a running uppercut but Rob breaks up a superplex. Another uppercut breaks up another Five Star attempt but once again Rob shoves him off. They do the sequence a third time until Rob finally gets off a cross body, only to jump into another uppercut. The Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop but Cesaro lands on his feet and levels Van Dam with a big boot for two. Not that it matters though as Rob kicks him in the face, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 7:56.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it’s good to see Rob get a win to reestablish his credibility. I guess they can rebuild Cesaro at some point in the future, though I feel like I’ve been saying that for months now. How in the world did he win a big match at Wrestlemania and fall all the way down here?

The show opens with Hulk Hogan coming out to hype up the WWE Network once again, talking about all the shows you can get for just $9.99. Nothing wrong with Hogan opening a show.

The opening video is played like a movie trailer (from Authority Pictures and Follow the Buzzard Films), playing up everyone’s nickname in a nice idea.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and talks about all the movies coming out on his way to the ring. He isn’t a talking turtle or robot, but even Drax the Destroyer would be intimidated by him. Tonight he’s going to turn Dolph Ziggler from a star to the WWE’s version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler easily taking over on the champion, only to miss a charge in the corner.

A kick to the head gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle so he nails a big boot to quiet them down a bit. There’s the running clothesline in the corner but Dolph blocks a top rope ax handle. A facebuster gets two for Ziggler but Miz avoids the Fameasser and tries to send Dolph outside. Ziggler skins the cat and fakes Miz out on a superkick into a small package for two. The Figure Four is easily countered and a superkick nails Miz in the face for another near fall.

Miz heads outside but gets sent into the barricade, only to slap on the Figure Four back inside. The hold stays on for a good while but Dolph finally makes it to the ropes. Ziggler gets back up and hits the Fameasser out of nowhere but it hurts the knee again, allowing Miz to hit a quick Skull Crushing Finale for two. Miz is stunned, allowing Dolph to hit a Zig Zag out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 8:00.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but I like the ending coming out of nowhere like that. You could see that the title was going to change as soon as Miz’s finishers didn’t work, but it was still a nice finish. Ziggler getting the title is a good thing as he’s needed a boost for a long time now. Granted he’ll probably lose while holding it over and over, though it’s still better than nothing.

We recap Brie vs. Stephanie/Megan on Raw.

Brie talks about being incarcerated on Monday and thinking about all the times Stephanie has insulted Bryan over the years or tortured Nikki week after week. She says Megan is lying and Brie isn’t going to let this chance slip through her fingers. Tonight she’s going to let the beast out.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Paige is challenging and these two have traded the title since the night after Wrestlemania. Paige recently turned heel and injured AJ so tonight is her chance for revenge. AJ won’t shake Paige’s hand to start but bites the fingers instead. She pulls at Paige’s hair, sending the British chick out to the floor. Back in and a ticked off Paige chokes on the ropes but AJ kicks her in the face.

Both girls head outside with Paige dropping her face first onto the barricade. Paige takes her back inside and drops I believe a piece of her own hair on AJ’s face. We hit the chinlock on the champion before AJ sends her out to the floor. A BIG top rope clothesline drops Paige again before a bad looking Shining Wizard gets two back inside. Paige kicks her in the face but AJ counters the Paige Turner into the Black Widow. Again Paige counters into Rampaige (fisherman’s DDT) for the clean pin and the title at 5:00.

Rating: B-. This is the physical match that the Divas have been looking for and it was worth the wait. These girls beat the tar out of each other and almost nothing missed the entire time. That Rampaige is a great looking finisher and gives Paige a third finishing move if she keeps the Paige Turner around. Good stuff as this solid rivalry continues.

Sting WWE2K15 video.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

This is a Flag Match, meaning a regular match with the winner’s flag being displayed after the match. Lana talks about how unrealistic Hollywood is, because there will be no happy ending. Swagger comes out with a military escort and a presentation of the American flag. Rusev jumps Swagger before the bell so Swagger puts on the Patriot Lock. They’re finally separated but Lana says Rusev is too injured to wrestle. The referee says ring the bell and Swagger goes after him in the corner.

Rusev is sent outside but Swagger takes him back inside and hammers away. The Russian keeps running so Swagger runs him over with a clothesline on the floor. All Swagger so far. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered with a kick to Jack’s bad ribs. Rusev fires off some shoulders in the corner and puts on a bearhug. Jack can’t belly to belly suplex him and Rusev cannonballs down onto his back again.

Swagger fights back with a running clothesline and a big boot followed by the Vader Bomb for two. The superkick is countered into the Patriot Lock but Rusev quickly rolls out. A hard kick to the ribs has Rusev in trouble and a kick to the face sets up the Accolade. Rusev can’t stand on the bad ankle though so it’s a one legged Accolade instead. Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock but Rusev rolls over and kicks at the ribs. A spinwheel kick to the shoulder drops Jack again and there’s a Warrior Splash, setting up the Accolade and Swagger is out at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Good match here with both guys bringing their harder games. Swagger looks good by not tapping out and the right guy wins. This should end the feud between the two though and hopefully sends Rusev after Sheamus and the US Title. Does anything else really make sense at this point?

Rusev nails Colter like a true villain would post match. The Russian national anthem is played and the flag is raised.

We recap Rollins vs. Ambrose. They were members of the Shield but Rollins turned on Ambrose and joined HHH. They were scheduled to fight last month, only to have a fight breaking out in the back beforehand. Therefore, Ambrose wanted a lumberjack match.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

It’s a brawl to start with Dean getting the better of it. He stomps Rollins down in the corner and sends Seth outside. The lumberjacks do their job but Dean punches a few of them when he’s thrown outside. Back in and Ambrose is sent face first into the middle buckle and now the lumberjacks give him a beating. Rollins drops a knee for two but runs into a boot in the corner. Seth is able to tie him into the Tree of Woe before sending him to the apron.

Dean suplexes Rollins onto the lumberjacks, including sending Seth face first onto the announcers’ table. The lumberjacks have to break up the brawl on the floor until Dean backdrops Seth over the barricade and into the crowd. Dean dives onto a bunch of lumberjacks and then runs the announcers’ table to get at Seth, even taking out some more lumberjacks at the same time.

They brawl into the crowd as Kane comes out to yell at the lumberjacks for not doing their job. Dean tries to suplex Rollins over a barricade but they’re finally dragged back to the ring by the lumberjacks. Rollins beats up Sin Cara for no apparent reason and tries to leave, but an army is waiting for him at the entrance. They literally carry him back to the ring with Dean diving off the top to take everyone out in a big pile.

Dirty Deeds is countered into an enziguri, but it knocks Dean into the ropes for the Rebound Clothesline. Dean Curb Stomps Rollins (you read that right) but Kane comes in to break up the pin. Goldust of all people gets in Kane’s face and it breaks down into a huge brawl. The referee hasn’t called for the bell so the match is still going. Everyone is cleared out and Rollins hits Dean with the briefcase for the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B. It was awesome while it lasted but I could have gone for another seven or eight minutes. They kept this going very well and the lumberjacks were an interesting idea. There’s no way this is over and there’s a good chance this sets up a rematch for the briefcase, probably at Night of Champions.

We recap Wyatt vs. Jericho. Chris returned a few months back but was targeted by the Wyatts for reasons not entirely clear. Jericho won last month at Battleground but the feud isn’t over, setting up this rematch tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is barred from ringside. Jericho takes over with elbows and chops to start, followed by a springboard forearm to put Bray on the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two for the Canadian but Bray sends him out to the floor. Bray drives in knees to the ribs before taking Jericho inside again for some solid shots to the head. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the posts and throat first into the ropes for good measure.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jericho scores with an enziguri. Bray runs him over with ease though and hits the backsplash for two. A dropkick takes Bray down again but he comes back with heavy right hands. Jericho, sporting a nasty bruise on his thigh, takes Bray down into the Walls but Bray is right next to the ropes. Wyatt rolls to the apron and is able to DDT Jericho onto the apron for two.

Now it’s Bray going up top but Jericho counters with a hurricanrana for two. Jericho dropskicks him down again but Bray spiders up. He shouts that he’s already dead but there’s the Codebreaker for two. Bray avoids a baseball slide and sends Jericho into the barricade with Sister Abigail. Back in and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 12:18.

Rating: C. Another pretty good match here with the right ending for a change. Bray getting the pin without the Family interfering is a good sign for him and hopefully the start of something new. It wasn’t a great match or anything but it’s very refreshing to see Bray get a pin on pay per view for a change.

Bray says Jericho learned what it means to follow the buzzards. Singing ensues.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon. This is a complicated story but it boils down to Stephanie being mad at Brie for embarrassing her when she was trying to get Daniel Bryan to forfeit the title. Brie quit instead and ruined Stephanie’s plans. Then Brie got her job back by threatening to sue Stephanie for slapping her and set up this match. Stephanie brought up something about Bryan cheating on Brie and the whole thing is WAY more complicated than it needs to be.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Stephanie is almost in a black superhero outfit. They slowly shove each other to start until Stephanie stomps away in the corner. Brie comes back with a YES Lock attempt to send Stephanie running outside, but she blocks Brie’s suicide dive with a forearm. Back in and a Hennig necksnap gets two on Brie as the announcers talk about how awesome Stephanie is. She stomps on Brie’s head and cranks on the arms as Brie looks mildly annoyed.

Brie finally kicks her in the face so Stephanie turns on the EVIL FACE, only to get caught by a Thesz Press. Some kicks in the ribs have Stephanie in trouble and a hair drag does the same. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two on McMahon and there are some HORRIBLE looking right hands.

Cue HHH for a distraction but Brie counters Stephanie’s Pedigree attempt into the YES Lock, but HHH pulls the referee to the floor. Brie kicks HHH down and starts a YES chant as Nikki is at ringside as well. Nikki comes in and stops Stephanie from leaving before turning on Brie as almost everyone expected her to. Nikki helps Stephanie up and a Pedigree gives her the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. Well you knew she wasn’t going to job. It’s on a bit of an adjusted scale but the match was shockingly good. That being said, it was NOWHERE near enough to justify the push its been receiving. All this to set up the Bellas fighting each other? They really think this is something people are going to be interested in? Dear goodness imagine the promos we’re going to have to sit through. The girls all looked good though.

JBL sums up the entire story: Nikki was fed up with having to deal with the problems Brie caused her. Unfortunately that doesn’t make a lot of sense as the people she joined were the ones beating her up the whole time, but that’s WWE for you.

Package on some guy that won a contest and got to go to the Performance Center and create a character: Mama’s Boy.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton is mad at Roman for costing him the chance to be #1 contender. Roman pops him in the jaw to start and follows up with a headbutt. Orton is sent to the floor and into the barricade but he reverses Reigns hard into the steps. Back in and Orton slams him head first onto the mat before stomping on Reigns’ hand. A big superplex gets two for Randy and we hit the chinlock.

Roman fights up into a chinlock of his own but Orton falls back to break it up. Reigns grabs it again and squeezes very hard, only to get caught in a side slam for two. Back up and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Some running clotheslines have Orton in trouble and there’s the apron kick. Reigns is reversed into the post and barricade for two though and the fight goes back outside.

Randy throws him over the announcers’ table but gets caught by a Stunner over the ropes. Orton fights out of a superplex attempt but Roman muscles him up into a top rope Samoan drop for two. There’s the Superman Punch but the spear is countered into a very fast powerslam for a near fall. The RKO is countered but Reigns dives into a second attempt, only to kick out at a VERY close two. I bought that as a finish for a second there. Orton misses the Punt and walks into the spear for the pin at 16:41.

Rating: C. The match was good but not really good if that makes sense. The fact that Reigns was the obvious winner didn’t help, but at least the match was good on the way to the ending. Reigns kicking out of the RKO is a big moment for him as his rise to the top of the company continues. This was by far his biggest win to date.

Summerslam is in New Jersey next year.

We recap Lesnar vs. Cena. There isn’t much to say about this one. Cena beat Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2012 but Brock came back by conquering the Streak. Tonight is Lesnar’s chance at the title.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

Cena is defending and charges right at Lesnar, only to get taken to the mat and pounded. Lesnar fights up and hits an F5 for two in less than thirty seconds. Brock: “THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE JOHN!” A wicked release German suplex sends Cena flying as this is starting like the first Cena vs. Lesnar match. Another one sends Cena across the ring and John is coughing. Brock hammers on him even more and just stares at Cena.

John drives him into the corner and hammers away but a single knee to the ribs puts him back down. Lesnar cranks on a chinlock and slams him head first into the mat as this is totally one sided. He stands on Cena’s hand before throwing him around with more German suplexes. The referee is looking at Cena like he wants to stop it but Cena waves him off. Lesnar hits his fifth or so German as Cena is looking like a ragdoll. The referee keeps checking so Brock suplexes Cena again.

Brock loads up another but Cena fights out with elbows and some clotheslines, only to charge into the F5. Cena escapes and hits a quick AA for two. Brock is down though and Cena has a chance to get a breather. Cena can’t follow up so Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up and smiles at Cena. He even dances a bit and tells Cena to bring it on. Cena gets up and charges at him but gets pounded on the mat UFC style. The referee tells Brock to get off and Cena can barely move. Now it’s rolling Germans and Cena isn’t moving.

Lesnar lets him get back to his senses before rolling even more Germans. This is probably about fifteen total now. Charles Robinson won’t call it off as some idiot fans say this is boring. Brock yells at the referee but Cena trips the leg and puts on the STF. There’s no strength though and Brock just unloads on him. Another F5 gives Brock the Title at 16:07.

Rating: A-. This was a squash. Lesnar demolished Cena and that’s exactly how the announcers are playing it up. This is the killer that Lesnar is supposed to be and the match was total dominance. I have no idea who beats Lesnar but whoever it is will get the rub of a lifetime. Awesome match though not quite as great as the 2012 version.

Overall Rating: A. It never ceases to amaze me how WWE TV can be so horribly dull at times but their PPVs have been on fire this year. Off the top of my head there might have been one show this year that wasn’t somewhere between good and great. This one is on the high end though as nothing was bad and the main event was a sight to behold. Totally awesome show with everyone looking great and setting a really good standard for the coming months. Excellent show.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 30, 2021: It’s Moving Day

Smackdown
Date: July 30, 2021
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re less than a month away from Summerslam and things have been getting interesting around here again. Last week, John Cena challenged Roman Reigns for Summerslam. That was a no, but Finn Balor issued his own challenge and got a yes. There is no word on when that takes place, but it should be pretty soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. We look at a recap of last week with Reigns, Cena and Balor, complete with Reigns’ missionary position line. Cena: “If you can find someone who can keep missionary position interesting for two decades, keep them in your life. It’s going to be worth it, I promise.” Cena talks about how he isn’t going to change anything and it wouldn’t make sense. Steve Austin wouldn’t come back as Sasquatch Steve Houston, or the Rock wouldn’t come back as Too Small Johnson.

Cena: “Roman Reigns has to change every two years because if he doesn’t, people stop caring about him.” Reigns is a guy named Joe, who gets by on every gimmick and is too scared to fail. He refused to fight Cena because of how Cena looks, but it’s really because of how Cena makes him look.

Cue Baron Corbin, but Cena doesn’t even recognize him. Cena: “DUDE! YOU LOOK….” Corbin: “Horrible, I know.” Corbin talks about everything that has gone wrong with him, and now he has had his identity stolen. On top of that, he has suffered an injury to a personal area and can’t perform. His wife took the kids and left, but maybe Cena can help him.

Cena asks the fans if he should help him, and Cena hands him some cash. Corbin: “THAT’S IT???” Corbin asks for a part in the Suicide Squad, but Cena says it’s already wrapped. Cena: “It come out next Friday. Make sure you go see it!” Corbin begs some more so Cena gives him the AA. Cena was feeling it here with the mixture of comedy and bombs on Reigns. The Corbin stuff is still great too, though how much more can happen to him?

We look at the Usos taking the Tag Team Titles from the Mysterios.

Dominik Mysterio tells Rey Mysterio he’ll have his back tonight. Rey says keep an eye on him and another eye on the Usos. They have to step it up to get the titles back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jimmy Uso

Dominik and Jey Uso are here too. Rey sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, setting up the bulldog for two. Jimmy is sent outside but avoids the dive, setting up the superkick to drop Rey. We take a break and come back with Rey kicking Jimmy in the head for a breather. Rey gets sent to the apron and an enziguri drops him again. Back up and Jimmy is sent outside, setting up the slingshot corkscrew dive to take out both Usos. Rey tries the 619 but Jimmy catches him in the fireman’s carry. That’s reversed into a crucifix, with Dominik adding the assist for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C-. Quick match here to get the Mysterios some momentum to get them ready for their next title match. It makes sense to have Dominik do something like that at the end too, as you can only have him doing the same stuff for so long. It wasn’t a great match or even close to one, but it did what it was supposed to do.

We look back at Bianca Belair retaining the Women’s Title over Carmella at the Rolling Loud festival last week. Even McAfee has to acknowledge how the fans didn’t care.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

Video on Reginald winning the 24/7 Title.

Reginald talks about doing whatever he needs to do to retain the title. He has been looking everywhere for someone coming after him, even getting a camera on his shopping cart. The title is on the line tonight and while he doesn’t know who is challenging him, they should expect the unexpected.

24/7 Title: Reginald vs. Chad Gable

Gable, with Otis, is challenging and Otis jumps Reginald before the bell. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Reginald but he bounces around to avoid the chops. Instead, Gable tiger suplexes him for two but Reginald flips out of a German superplex. Gable is set into the corner to set up the running flipping seated senton, drawing Otis in for the DQ at 1:38.

Post match Reginald is thrown outside but sticks the landing to escape.

Sonya Deville announces Carmella/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair for tonight.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

Post break, Paul Heyman asks what Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are going to do about Summerslam because that contract situation doesn’t work. They look at the contract, which says Summerslam and has Reigns and Cena’s signatures. That’s good enough for them, so the match is on.

Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro vs. Apollo Crews/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Rick Boogs handles the intro and McAfee dances as usual. Crews sends Big E. outside in a hurry and it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to send us to an early break. Back with Big E. getting over for the hot tag to Cesaro, who Swings Ziggler in a hurry. The Sharpshooter is broken up so Nakamura comes in to kick Ziggler down for two.

Kinshasa is countered with a Sling Blade but Ziggler can’t cover. He can however bring in Crews for a standing moonsault to Nakamura. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Azeez tries to interfere but Boogs distracts him with the guitar. The distraction is enough for Nakamura to Kinshasa Crwes for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was a bunch of people not getting a ton of time, but it probably sets up (at least one of) Crews’ next challenger for the title. A big multiman match of some sort wouldn’t surprise me, and at least in this case they have set part of it up. At least they got to the point here without wasting a lot of time, so this could have been a lot worse.

We look at Edge brawling with Seth Rollins last week.

Here is Edge for a chat….but it’s Rollins in the ring when we come back from a break. Rollins attacked Edge during the break, including a camera shot to the face. Rollins rants about how he had to do that and throws us to a video on his history with Edge. He should be the Universal Champion, but if he can’t be, neither can Edge.

We recap the contract signing.

Next week: Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was ok for the most part but the angles were what mattered here. You have Cena vs. Reigns made official, Edge vs. Rollins all but official, and Banks returning to set up her rematch. This was the heavy lifting show that Summerslam has been needing and now we should have most of the Smackdown half set. The matches look good too, so hopefully they can live up to the hype.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Jimmy Uso – Crucifix with assist from Dominik Mysterio
Reginald b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews – Kinshasa to Crews
Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair b. Carmella/Zelina Vega – Bank Statement to Carmella

 

 

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Smackdown – July 23, 2021: This Was A Fine Wrestling Show

Smackdown
Date: July 23, 2021
Location: Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, Cleveland, Ohio/Rolling Loud Festival, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re into the second week of having fans back and this time the big story is John Cena returning to Smackdown to see Roman Reigns. You can see Summerslam from here but we still need to make it official. Other than that, Carmella is getting another shot at Bianca Belair for no particular reason. Let’s get to it.

Here is Money in the Bank if you need a recap.

We start fast this week with John Cena starting us off in a hurry. He talks about how hyped up the fans are here and knows that Roman Reigns is coming. There is some sports news coming out of Cleveland today, which is why he has changed his middle name to Guardians (as did Cleveland’s baseball team). He has to protect the little respect that WWE has left because Roman Reigns is terrible as Universal Champion. We’re back live and that means we are on the way to Summerslam, which is a place for the fans to show what they believe in. Whose team are you on?

That gives us a loud CENA chant, so he asks if you’re on Team Jorts or Team Cargo Pants? Team Hustle, Loyalty and Respect or on a team no one respects? Cena wants to know where Reigns is, because at Summerslam, Reigns can’t see him. Let’s get Reigns out here, but here is Paul Heyman (McAfee: “Legend.”) instead. Heyman says Reigns isn’t coming out here, but Cena will get an answer tonight. Then, Cena will know that the Tribal Chief is here. Heyman then does You Can’t See Me and sings (I guess?) the tune of Cena’s song in something you have to see to appreciate/believe. Both guys were amazing here.

Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn

Commentary makes a special point of going over the titles and accomplishments of these two, which is a good idea that could happen more often. Sami takes him down with an armbar and then rakes Balor’s eyes over the ropes. Balor gets sent outside and Sami hammers away, only to have Balor do the same back inside. This time it’s Sami being sent outside for the big running flip dive from Balor.

We take a break and come back with Sami grabbing a chinlock. Sami cuts off a comeback attempt with a DDT but Balor is right back up with a Sling Blade. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more on Balor, who pulls Sami right back down for a double stomp. The shotgun dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace to give Balor the pin at 8:51.

Rating: C. This was about getting Balor back in the ring to show that he can still win around here. Sami is the perfect choice for that as he can lose and lose while still bouncing right back. I’m not sure what Balor is going to be doing around here but going after Apollo Crews and dealing with Commander Azeez could be interesting.

Baron Corbin managed to lose money with his Corbin Fund Me because the guy who set up the website stole his identity. He has no credit now and had to ride the bus here. Corbin: “What’s happened to me?”

Here is Mr. Money In The Bank Big E. for a chat. After some YOU DESERVE IT chants, Big E. talks about how he did some crazy things on Sunday (Big E.: “I don’t have any business jumping off ladders!”) but here is Apollo Crews to interrupts. Crews mocks him for only having a contract but here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode to interrupt as well.

Ziggler says you better be talking about the two of them if you’re talking about the Intercontinental Title (which we weren’t) but here is Rick Boogs to interrupt. Before he can say anything, it’s Cesaro interrupting as well. The brawl is on and Crews gets a quick Swing. There were a lot of people here and they were talking about the same thing, but the briefcase was completely moved to the side.

We go down to the Rolling Loud Festival where Wale leads the fans in a WE WANT THE SMOKE chant and introduces the Street Profits.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Chad Gable

The set is really weird here as the ring is on the stage, with a really long ramp extending out from the ring. There are a TON of people here too, as in several thousands at minimum. Montez Ford and Otis are here too as commentary talks about the other acts performing at the festival.

Gable pulls Dawkins into the triangle choke over the ropes to damage the shoulder again and a top rope clothesline gets two. A suplex gives Gable two more and a German suplex is good for the same. Dawkins avoids a moonsault though and sends Gable outside, only to get caught with a Liger Kick back inside. Gable grabs a backslide for two but Dawkins hits the Anointment for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: C. They were smart to keep this short and sweet as you do not want the people to lose interest. The Profits were here for the big entrance and that worked out well enough, as the feud continues towards a pretty big tag match. Not exactly a great match, but that wasn’t the point of something like this.

Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Bianca Belair

Carmella is challenging for the second week in a row. Belair rolls her up for an early two but Carmella is back with a flying headscissors. The fans want something else as Belair fights up and snaps off a fall away slam. The handspring moonsault gets two as the fans are saying they want….something. A jawbreaker staggers Belair and an X Factor gets two more. Back up and Belair misses a big boot, which means nothing as she grabs the KOD to retain at 4:47.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this was about getting in and out before anyone overstayed their welcome. Carmella was absolutely not a threat to the title here and while the second title match was a little much, it was over and done with in a hurry. Now just find someone new for Belair to face (maybe a debuting Toni Storm) and we should be in for some good stuff.

Back in Cleveland, Shotzi and Nox are having trouble with their tank. Kevin Owens suggests hitting it with a hammer, which is all he can think of doing. Owens runs into Baron Corbin, who apologizes for treating him badly last week. That is how Corbin has been for years now and he asks Owens for forgiveness. Corbin is even wearing the same shirt as last week (complete with stain) so Owens actually gives him $20. Owens leaves and NOW the tank works, hitting Corbin rather low. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come in to steal the money so Owens chases them off with a chair.

Here is Edge for a chat. Those reactions do something for him and he is so happy to be back. If you saw Money in the Bank, you know he should be Universal Champion but Seth Rollins kept that from happening. Edge thought he had all of his bases covered with the Mysterios, but this was bigger than that. This goes back to when they met in 2014 and Rollins thought Edge would never be back. Well not only is he back, but he is in Rollins’ way. Edge talks about being in the Brood and in the Ministry of Darkness but here is Rollins to interrupt.

Rollins greets Grandpa Edge, who keeps talking about the man he used to be. Edge: “Shut up.” Edge invites him to the ring for a man to man talk but Rollins says Edge knows what can happen to him. As Edge sighs, Rollins comes to the ring and talks about how John Cena and Edge are jumping the line, but the more he thinks about it, the more thrilled he is. Rollins wants the people to give it up for Grandpa Edge because he loves how much Edge wants to talk about him.

If Edge keeps talking about him, the only thing people will say about Edge is how Rollins ended him. Rollins isn’t going to hesitate to pull the trigger the next time he has his boot on Edge’s neck. Edge says he lied about not putting his hands on Rollins so the beatdown is on, including the Impaler. Rollins bails from the threat of the spear, though he does leave his jacket in the ring. This was fine as a way to keep the build going for a match you know is coming.

Toni Storm vs. Zelina Vega

This is Storm’s full time debut. Vega is knocked outside to start but Vega sends her into the announcers’ table. Back in and a headbutt rocks Storm as commentary explains that she is stuck in the 80s. A sunset flip gives Vega two and she rips off Storm’s belt. That is too far as Storm grabs Storm One (starts off like Randy Orton’s backbreaker but flipped over into a cutter) for the pin at 2:34. Vega get in a lot here but Storm felt like a star, which is all that matters.

Jimmy Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

Jey Uso and Rey Mysterio are here too. Jimmy decks him to start and a hard whip into the corner has Dominik in more trouble. An enziguri cuts off Dominik’s comeback and Jimmy does not seem impressed. Dominik gets in a quick drop toehold to load up the 619 but Jimmy bails to the floor. Rey deals with Jey and Dominik hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Jimmy kicking him down again as Rey gets knocked down. Dominik tries a springboard rollup but they get into completely different pages and seem rather lost. Jimmy finally stacks Dominik up with Jey giving an assist for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. The ending really hurt things as it looked terrible and they couldn’t figure out what to do. Thankfully the seemed to improvise enough to get to the finish but it isn’t likely to help Dominik’s already limited reputation. I’m sure we’ll get a title rematch out of this somehow, if nothing else due to the lack of other challengers for the Usos.

Here is Roman Reigns to answer John Cena’s challenge. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him but he demands to be acknowledged. Cena acknowledged him at Money in the Bank but Reigns did not expect to see it. Reigns was expecting a new Cena but it was the same music, the same run to the ring, the same catchphrases and the same everything, just like it was 2005. Reigns: “It’s like missionary position. The same thing every day!”

That’s not how we do it at the head of the table and that’s not what we’re doing at Summerslam. The answer is no (makes sense, as Bobby Lashley said the same thing to Goldberg this week), but here is Finn Balor of all people to interrupt. Reigns wants Balor to acknowledge him, but that’s not why Balor is here. If Reigns says no to Cena’s challenge, how about Balor instead? Fans: “ROMAN’S SCARED!” Reigns: “Challenge accepted.”

Overall Rating: C+. This was a fine wrestling show, which is some pretty high praise after Raw. There were some good parts and there were some weaker parts, but above all else, there was nothing stupid on here and that made so much of a difference. It wasn’t about doing things that made little sense or seemingly sending some kind of message, but rather about setting things up and getting them done. I liked this show, and while it had some issues, that is a nice feeling to have again.

Results
Finn Balor b. Sami Zayn – Coup de Grace
Angelo Dawkins b. Chad Gable – Anointment
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
Toni Storm b. Zelina Vega – Storm One
Jimmy Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Rollup with a push from Jey Uso

 

 

 

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