Impact Wrestling – June 13, 2024: Birthday Edition

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 13, 2024
Location: MegaCorp Pavilion, Newport, Kentucky
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and that means the show is mostly done. At the same time, it means that we are ready for more of the Matt Hardy situation, which could see the Broken Universe return. That isn’t exactly the most thrilling prospect but Joe Hendry could be on the horizon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Zachary Wentz vs. Mike Santana

Trey Miguel is here with Wentz. Santana strikes away in the corner to start and hits a backdrop, meaning it’s time for an early breather on the floor. A Miguel distraction lets Wentz score with a moonsault to take over and it’s a running shooting star press for two back inside. The armbar goes on to keep Santana down and a kick to the back makes it worse.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Santana fights up and sends him outside. Back in and Santana hits a Death Valley Driver for two but misses Spin The Block. Instead Wentz him down and drops a Swanton Bomb for two of his own. They trade kicks to the head until Wentz hits a headlock DDT. Miguel loads up a shot of his own but cue Steve Maclin to cut him off. Spin The Block finishes for Santana at 7:48.

Rating: C+. As usual, it was a singles match between halves of a tag team, though at least in this case Maclin and Santana aren’t a regular team. Santana is still establishing himself as a singles wrestler and a win like this is a good thing to see. I could go for more from Santana, which is a good sign for his current run.

We get a sitdown interview with Mustafa Ali, who avoids tough questions and cites good things he’s done for the X-Division Title to ignore allegations of cheating. Questions about Mike Bailey have Ali annoyed but Champagne Singh calms him down to end the interview.

The System is going to the Hardy Compound but Alisha and Eddie Edwards aren’t sure about this. Masha Slamovich comes in to talk to Alisha, who doesn’t have time for this. The Hex comes in to mock the champs for not getting along.

Masha Slamovich vs. Marti Belle

Alisha Edwards and Allysin Kay are here too. Feeling out process to start with Belle knocking her down, followed by a hard forearm. Belle takes too long posing though and gets clotheslines, only for Kay to get in a cheap shot from the floor. Belle’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets caught but one with an assist from Kay is enough for the pin at 4:34.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Belle stealing a pin, likely setting up the Knockouts Tag Team Title match either at Against All Odds or later. That isn’t the most thrilling prospect, especially when it is the second match of the night with this setup, but also because the champs are already not on the same match. This wasn’t very good and I’m not exactly interested in what they’re doing.

Steph de Lander is going to tell PCO something tomorrow night but First Class pops in to steal her black rose.

Here is First Class for a chat. They brag about their success with the Digital Media Title but PCO pops in to clean house and take the black rose back.

Tasha Steelz vs. Dani Luna

Jody Threat and Lars Fredericksen are here too. Luna powers her into the corner to start but Steelz gets in a kick to the ribs. A basement clothesline and falcon arrow give Luna two each but Steelz breaks up a superplex attempt. We take a break and come back with an exchange of forearms to the face.

Back up and they trade running boots to leave them both down. Luna hits another running dropkick and a quick powerbomb gets two. Steelz knocks her back down and grabs the Rings of Saturn, with Luna having to make the rope. A quick Blue Thunder Bob gives Luna two but the Luna Landing is blocked. Steelz tries a cutter, which is countered into the Luna Landing to give Luna the pin at 11:56.

Rating: C. I haven’t gotten much out of Spitfire either as a team or on their own and that was pretty much the case again here. Luna continues to get some momentum going and odds are Spitfire gets another Tag Team Title shot down the line. They’re perfectly fine as a team, but the match here was just more run of the mill stuff that didn’t really stand out.

Joe Hendry got beaten down last week but now he has enlisted Ace Steele to help him. Frankie Kazarian comes in to say he put on a clinic last week. Hendry: “If that was a clinic, the patient died.” A match is made between the two of them at Against All Odds.

The System looks for a way into the Hardy Compound. Post break, they find their way to the back, where Matt Hardy meets them from a balcony. His family, including Senior Benjamin, are waiting for him. Moose walks into a trap, which sets off a bunch of fireworks, while Brian Myers is confused by a Curt Hawkins figure. He goes into Matt’s arcade and finds more figures, as planed by one of Matt’s sons. Then Myers is scared by moments from his past, including a pair of Edge tights and discussions of his losing streaks.

We cut over to Eddie Edwards being stalked by another of Matt’s sons and then turning into the American Wolf (as in a werewolf). We cut to Alisha Edwards slowly walking through the house as Reby Hardy plays piano. Then Reby’s daughter uses magic to send things flying at Alisha.

We cut to another of Matt’s kids guiding Moose to Matt. This includes a stop at Senor Benjamin’s house, where he watches previous Broken Matt exploits. Matt pops up and attacks Moose, including putting him in a wheelchair. We cut to Reby seemingly beheading Alisha with a guillotine and then cut back to Matt sending Moose into the Lake Of Reincarnation. Moose comes out in football gear but Vanguard 1 shows up for a distraction, allowing Matt to hit a Twist of Fate. The System bails while still making threats.

This stuff was funny at one point but then it became the same jokes over and over again, as the Hardys are weird and their kids are creepy. It really feels like Matt is the only one who wants to do this and that doesn’t make for a good show over and over. This just kept going and was more about references from other promotions, which don’t make me want to see the matches on Friday, but rather just getting rid of Hardy in general. Not good here, though I’m sure it still has something of an audience.

Ash By Elegance vs. Jada Stone

Rosemary is watching from the rafters as they have a feeling out process to start. Stone dropkicks her to the floor, where Ash gets in a cheap shot and a suplex. Ash hammers away and hits the handspring elbow in the corner. Stone gets in a shot of her own but the moonsault hits raised knees. A clothesline into Rarefied Air finishes for Ash at 3:53.

Rating: C. Not quite a squash here but Ash continues her rise before a likely title win down the line. It’s hard to imagine she isn’t getting the title shot at Slammiversary and the belt at some point. There is nothing wrong with giving her a quick win like this between the important stuff so no complaints here.

Jonathan Gresham, in the mask, says Sami Callihan makes him laugh. So why would Callihan want to fight him again? At Against All Odds, it’s Gresham vs. Callihan’s immune system. Wow that was a terrible line and yet somehow, this story is continuing.

Jordynne Grace is disappointed at losing to Roxanne Perez at Battleground but wants to return the favor. It’s an open challenge for a Knockouts Title shot at Against All Odds for anyone from any promotion.

Against All Odds rundown.

ABC vs. Nic Nemeth/Ryan Nemeth

Ryan and Bey both miss takedown attempts to start before Ryan’s headlock doesn’t get him very far. Nic comes in to roll Bey up for two but Bey takes him down for a change and throws in a hip swivel. It’s off to Austin for two off la majistral but Nic gets in a backdrop. That’s fine with Bey, who is right there with a double stomp to the back to cut him off again.

We take a break and come back with Nic still in trouble, including a double suplex to put him down again. Austin drops him with a belly to back suplex and grabs a headscissors choke to keep things slow. Bey’s crossbody gets two but Nic finally avoids a charge and bring Ryan in to clean house. It’s quickly back to Nic for the Fameasser and a near fall on Bey before Ryan comes back in for the forearm exchange.

A double knockdown allows the tags off to Nic and Austin as the pace picks up. Austin hits a middle rope spinning kick to the face for two as everything breaks down. We hit the parade of secondary finishers and everyone is down again. Bey and Ryan go to the floor so Austin stomps Nic down. The 1-2-Sweet is broken up though and the Danger Zone gives Nic the pin on Bey at 20:49.

Rating: B-. This might as well have been Nic and Nic Jr fighting ABC and again, that doesn’t make me want to see them getting a Tag Team Title shot. The Nemeths are fine in the ring, but Ryan has never been a star and that is the case for a reason. Best match of the night here, though that isn’t saying much.

Overall Rating: C. You really can feel the decline in TNA in recent months and that is hitting hard as we get to Against All Odds. The main event was good and there were a few other ok moments (the opener was completely acceptable) but between the Hardys and the weird obsession with tag wrestlers in singles matches, there is very little I want to see at Against All Odds. I’m holding out hope for Joe Hendry, but I’m not sure if he is going to be able to save enough of this company with the way things are going.

Results
Mike Santana b. Zachary Wentz – Spin The Block
Marti Belle b. Masha Slamovich – Rollup with assist from Allysin Kay
Dani Luna b. Tasha Steelz – Luna Landing
Ash By Elegance b. Jada Stone – Rarefied Air
Ryan Nemeth/Nic Nemeth b. ABC – Danger Zone to Bey

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 6, 2024: They Need To Get Through This

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2024
Location: MegaCorp Pavilion, Newport, Kentucky
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re on the way to Against All Odds and that means most of the card is already set. While Moose is set to defend the World Title against Matt Hardy on that show, we have another title match on this show. This week will see Laredo Kid defending the Digital Media Title against AJ Francis, which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Apparently this is the 20 year anniversary of the show. That’s really impressive.

Kon vs. Jake Something

Kon blocks a neck snap to start so Something hammers away in the corner and hits a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Kon is knocked outside again, this time managing to post Something to take over. Kon cranks away at the neck back inside before Something fights up and slugs away for the knockdown. An elbow misses for Kon and Something punches him down for one. Something fights out of another neck snap and Into The Void finishes Kon at 5:27.

Rating: C+. Nice win for Something here as his star continues its up and down status. It’s nice to see him win like this but at some point he needs to win something of value. Beating a monster like Kon is a good sign though and once he gets away from Deaner, maybe we can see him get a proper push.

Post match Kon jumps him but Eric Young runs in for the save. Young talks about how this show is twenty years old today and he’s celebrating with the fans.

We look at Moose injuring Matt Hardy last week.

Frankie Kazarian is fighting on behalf of the System this week. The System comes in to say if he takes out Nic Nemeth tonight, he gets a World Title shot, right? Works for Moose, though Kazarian isn’t sure if Moose is getting by Matt Hardy.

We recap PCO’s attempts to woo Steph de Lander, who seems interested.

De Lander thinks PCO has a crush on him and opens the love letter, which says “PCO: Oui or Non”. Xia Brookside comes in to tell her to give it some time before she makes her decision. De Lander says she’ll give it a week, which has Brookside rather giddy.

Gisele Shaw vs. Shazza McKenzie

Shaw knocks her into the corner to start and hits a running elbow. McKenzie is back with a neck snap over the ropes and a kick to the face for two. Back up and Shaw hits her in the face for two, setting up a Cody Cutter and a running knee for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C. Shaw looked crisp here (and in new gear to make her feel different) which is a good sign when you’re fresh back after a lengthy layoff. Shaw’s in that same category of “she needs to actually win the title” after so many close losses and maybe this is her time. The setup is definitely looking better this time at least.

Rosemary blames herself for the losses of her loved once and says it is because of sins.

Steve Maclin asks Mike Santana for an alliance against the Rascalz, but Santana is done with tag wrestling. Maclin asks again and Santana seems to be in.

Mustafa Ali/Champagne Singh vs. Speedball Mountain

Seven starts but Ali hands it off to Singh instead. Seven’s headlock allows Bailey to come in and strike away, including a dropkick into the corner. Ali comes in for a cheap shot on Bailey to take over, making sure to taunt Seven in the process. Some choking on the ropes keeps Bailey in trouble and we take a break. Back with Bailey and Singh trading rollups for two each, with Bailey making it over for the tag to Seven. The swinging slam connects but the Birminghammer is broken up and it’s back to Ali.

Bop and Bang gives Seven two on Ali, with Singh making the save. Ali is right back with the rolling clothesline but the 450 misses. Instead Seen hits the Seven Star Lariat and we get the double down. Bailey comes back in with a missile dropkick to Singh, followed by the moonsault double knees. A rather lengthy double team is broken up though and Ali uses a Secret Service distraction to DDT Bailey on the floor. Not that it matters as the Birminghammer finishes Singh at 13:30.

Rating: B-. That’s booking 101 as you have Seven looking dominant against Ali’s lackey on his way to a title shot against Ali himself. I don’t quite buy Seven as a major threat to win the title but at least they’re building him up well. At the same time, Speedball Mountain gets another win, as this thrown together team continues t have some legs.

The Personal Concierge brings back the healed up Ash By Elegance following her life saving minor surgery.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Allysin Kan

Grace is defending and Marti Belle is here with Kay. Grace charges at her to start and unloads in the corner but Belle offers a distraction to break it up. Kay strikes away until Grace skins the cat and runs her over. A Saito suplex cuts Grace off but she avoids a charge in the corner. The MuscleBuster gets two on Kay before Grace beats up Belle for trying to interfere. Kay’s kneeling piledriver gets two but Grace powerbombs her into the Juggernaut Driver to retain at 6:10.

Rating: C+. Kay is another former champion who was brought back in to make Grace look good in a victory. Grace is on her way to probably the biggest match of her life this weekend and that means she needs a boost like this one. They had a back and forth enough match too, as Grace had to put in some effort to retain here. Nice match.

We get Sami Callihan’s Death Machine TV, where he doesn’t like how Jonathan Gresham thinks he’s an octopus. The showdown seems to be set for Against All Odds.

Digital Media Title: Laredo Kid vs. AJ Francis

Kid is defending and Rich Swann is here with Francis. They start fast with Kid sticking and moving until a dropkick puts Francis on the floor. The dive is pulled out of the air though and Kid is slammed into the apron. A running knee in the corner rocks Kid but he fights up and hits a missile dropkick. Kid flip dives off the top onto Swann on the floor but the distraction lets Francis hit the Down Payment (chokeslam) for the pin and the title at 4:58.

Rating: C. Sure why not. Francis at least feels like a bigger star around here and it isn’t like Kid has lit the world on fire with his rather brief title reign. If TNA wants Francis to feel like a big star then he needed to win something. Giving him the low level TV Title would in fact count as something, as Francis gets a prize. Maybe he can even do something with it.

Nic Nemeth vs. Frankie Kazarian

They fight over a lockup to start until Nemeth takes him down for the armbar. Kazarian fights up and knocks him down but Nemeth scores with that dropkick. A backdrop sends Nemeth outside though, followed by a snap suplex back inside. We hit the chinlock, meaning Ziggler has to fight up rather quickly. Kazarian runs him over again and we take an early break.

Back with Nemeth fighting out of a chickenwing attempt and hitting the rapid fire elbows. Kazarian reverses one of them into the chickenwing, with Nemeth eventually grabbing the rope. Nemeth’s superkick gets two but the Danger Zone is blocked. Instead Kazarian grabs a slingshot cutter for two and frustration is setting in. Nemeth gets two off a sunset flip before the Danger Zone connects for the win at 14:35.

Rating: B-. This was the TNA “These Guys Are Good At Wrestling” match of the week and that is always going to work. It was the longest match on the show and it had two veterans getting to go out there and do their thing. That is something we see pretty much weekly around here and this time it happened to be in the main event.

Post match the System runs in to beat Nemeth down. Ryan Nemeth runs in for the save but Moose comes in to break up the break up. The villains get in the beatdown but Joe Hendry runs in for the real save…until Moose spears him down as well. The real beatdown is on and the System poses but we cut to Matt Hardy. You cannot break what is already Broken so he invites the System to the Hardy Compound next week. An Addams Family snap ends the show. As long as it’s a one off, just let them get it out of their system and move on.

Overall Rating: B-. TNA is in a rough place right now as their most important story is taking place in NXT this weekend, leaving everything else to be set up for a middle of the road (at best) show next week. Matt Hardy isn’t feeling like a top level challenger but rather someone who is getting to do his Broken stuff because he’s a star who gets to do what he wants. I’m still holding out hope for Joe Hendry to get the big World Title win, but by the time he gets there, it might be too late. Good enough show here, though Against All Odds is not feeling interesting whatsoever.

Results
Jake Something b. Kon – Into The Void
Gisele Shaw b. Shazza McKenzie – Running knee
Speedball Mountain b. Champagne Singh/Mustafa Ali – Birminghammer to Singh
Jordynne Grace b. Allysin Kay – Juggernaut Driver
AJ Francis b. Laredo Kid – Down Payment
Nic Nemeth b. Frankie Kazarian – Danger Zone

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 30, 2024: Ok That’s Better

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 30, 2024
Location: MegaCorp Pavilion, Newport, Kentucky
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

With Against All Odds on the horizon, we are going to need the card to get firmed up before the show. That’s all well and good, but then things got a lot more interesting as Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace was named as the next challenger to NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez. That makes me wonder who else might show up elsewhere so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Ace Austin

As they try to get their aggression out on each other. They fight over a lockup to start with Bey backing him into the corner for a clean break. Austin grabs a headlock takeover and cranks away until Bey is back up with a basement shoulder. Back up and Austin starts in on the arm until Bey snaps off an armdrag into an anklescissors. A backdrop puts Bey down and Austin’s snap suplex gets one.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Bey jawbreaks his way to freedom. Austin sends him outside though and hits the superkick on the floor, only for Bey to grab a spinebuster for two. Austin’s dropkick doesn’t get him very far as Bey kicks him in the head. Not to be outdone, Austin hits a springboard spinning kick to the face for two but misses the Fold. The Art Of Finesse misses as well and Austin rolls him up, only to be reversed into a cradle to give Bey the pin at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of match you would expect from the two of them and that’s what it needed to be. They didn’t have the time to turn it into the always odd looking match where they mirror everything the other is doing. That made for a better match and there is a good chance that we will be seeing something more from them going forward.

Post match Austin hugs him and teases a turn but everything is ok.

Xia Brookside vs. Steph de Lander

The much bigger de Lander powers her down to start before managing to stay on her feet when Brookside tries a hurricanrana. A fall away slam gives de Lander two but now the headscissors works. The threat of Brookside’s running knees sends de Lander running to the floor, where she tries to grab a chair…which has PCO attached. PCO cuts off Brookside’s dive and has de Lander get back inside. De Lander’s yelling at him lets Brookside get the rollup pin at 4:50.

Rating: C. As you might have guessed, this was about the storyline advancing more than anything else, as PCO is already getting on de Lander’s nerves. That could go in a few directions and there is a good chance that de Lander is going to need some help dealing with him. Brookside needed a win after losing to Ash By Elegance and this works as well as anything else.

Post match de Lander yells at PCO, who tells her to stop because he has something for her. He pulls out what looks like a card, complete with STEPH written inside of a heart. She takes the card and puts it in her top, which makes PCO happy.

We look at Jordynne Grace appearing on NXT, setting up her NXT Women’s Title shot at Battleground on June 9. Grace will also face Stevie Turner next week on NXT. As usual, this is so bizarre to see.

First Class interrupts Laredo Kid and reveal that AJ Francis is getting a Digital Media Title shot next week. Francis decks him.

Big Kon runs into Jake Something and a match is quickly made for next week. Kon tells him to not listen to Deaner because it won’t go well. Something tells Deaner to stay out of it next week.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Sami Callihan

Callihan takes him into the corner to start and rakes the eyes to block a bite attempt. Gresham goes for the biting again but an annoyed Callihan sends him outside instead. Some yelling into the camera distracts Callihan enough that Gresham can choke him to a break. Back with Callihan’s chop hitting the post but elbowing his way out of a German suplex from the apron.

Callihan drops him onto the apron instead but Gresham pops up in a somewhat creepy bit. They strike it out, with Callihan offering him some free shots to the face. Callihan runs him over and hits a Death Valley Driver for two but Gresham starts in on the knee. The black good is loaded up but Callihan blocks it, only for Gresham to hit him low and grab a sunset flip for the pin at 12:38.

Rating: C. It was nice to have some bigger names involved and the match went well enough, but egads the goo stuff is total death. It’s the kind of goofy stuff that feels totally over the top and out of place when Gresham just being more aggressive with the mask would work just fine. Beating Callihan should be a nice boost for him, but not the best presentation to say the least.

Gail Kim has a sitdown interview with Giselle Shaw, who has been out of action to recharge and heal some injuries. It feels like she is starting from scratch and Kim asks why she’s back. Kim says do this as a knockout and start next week.

The System isn’t worried about tonight because Against All Odds is coming up. The team leaves and Frankie Kazarian comes in, demanding to be called The King Of TNA.

Mike Santana vs. Steve Maclin

They fight over wrist control to start with Maclin elbowing him in the face for two. An exchange of shoulders goes to Santana with Maclin bailing to the floor. Santana follows and gets dropped face first onto the apron, setting up a Cactus elbow for two. An Irish Curse gives Maclin two more and we hit the chinlock.

Santana fights out and grabs a cutter for a breather, followed by a sitout F5 for two. Spin The Block misses and Maclin hits Mayhem For All for two of his own. Maclin’s top rope superplex is broken up and a frog splash gives Santana two more. There’s a superkick to send Maclin outside and the big flip dive connects. Maclin pops back up with the Scud….and the Rascalz come in to jump Maclin for the DQ at 7:45.

Rating: B-. These two have chemistry together and it was nice to see the interference instead of having either of them take a fall. I’m still expecting Santana and Maclin to team up out of respect and while I’ve heard worse, I’m digging Santana on his own after so many years in a team. For now though, I’ll settle for Maclin getting a nice resurgence and Santana having a rather nice start to his singles run.

Post match the Rascalz beats both of them down.

Lars Frederiksen and Dani Luna tell Jody Threat to get her head on straight.

Mustafa Ali vs. Leon Slater

Non-title and Champagne Singh is here with Ali. Feeling out process to start as they run the ropes until Slater hits a handspring elbow to the face. Ali knocks him onto the ramp but Slater sends him to the floor for a dive from the stage. We take a break and come back with Slater hitting a high crossbody for two but Ali kicks him in the head.

The rolling neckbreaker gives Ali two, only for Slater to grab a rolling cutter. The Blue Thunder Bomb is countered and Ali snaps off a German suplex. Ali’s satellite DDT is countered into a neckbreaker for two but he manages to post Slater. The 450 finishes Slater at 11:57.

Rating: B-. Ali continues to be one of the smoothest stars in the world today and it’s always fun to see him getting in the ring. At the same time, Slater is one of those young stars who has already made something of a mark and that could be a good foot in the door. I could have gone for more of this and it was a rather nice showcase for Slater with Ali getting a good win at the same time.

Moose is hunting for Matt Hardy.

Rehwoldt and Hannifan are in the ring to run down the Against All Odds card.

Eddie Edwards vs. Joe Hendry

Alisha Edwards and Brian Myers are here with Eddie. Before the match, Hendry says the only system he is worried about his his digestive system, because Eddie’s hair is so stupid. Cue the Nemeths to even things out (or actually uneven them) and we’re ready to go. Hendry starts fast with a running elbow and hits a rather delayed suplex for an early two.

We take a break and come back with Hendry fighting up until a chop takes him down again. Another chop is blocked and Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam. Hendry slowly hammers away but gets elbowed to cut him right back down. Eddie tries to go up but gets super fall away slammed back down. Hendry goes up this time, only to get caught in a top rope superplex, followed by a tiger driver for two. Eddie kicks him down and loads up the Boston Knee Party but runs into the Standing Ovation for the pin at 12:01.

Rating: B-. The more I see of this ind of thing, the more it seems like we are going to be seeing Hendry getting a major title shot somewhere in the near future. Giving Hendry the title is far from the worst idea and I could go for seeing whatever he could do as the champion. If nothing else he would be a fresh direction for the company and that is definitely something they need.

Moose finds Matt Hardy and the brawl is on, with Moose wrapping a chair around Matt’s head and hitting him with another chair to end the show. Well that was abrupt.

Overall Rating: B. The action was good for the most part and they gave me more hope about a possible big time Hendry push. Other than that, Ace vs. Bey was good enough and PCO/de Lander are taking steps forward. I like enough of where things are going around here and this was quite the upgrade after last week’s not so great effort. Solid show here and I’m hoping that we get to see some of these things paying off.

Results
Chris Bey b. Ace Austin – Rollup
Xia Brookside b. Steph de Lander – Rollup
Jonathan Gresham b. Sami Callihan – Sunset flip
Steve Maclin b. Mike Santana via DQ when the Rascalz interfered
Mustafa Ali b. Leon Slater – 450
Joe Hendry b. Eddie Edwards – Standing Ovation

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 23, 2023: Goofy Laziness

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 23, 2023
Hosts: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

This is another special show, in this case because of Thanksgiving. Impact has a history of looking back at some, ahem, classic Thanksgiving moments of the years and that is likely going to involve a bunch of Turkey Suit matches. There are worse traditions out there and it’s just goofy fun. Let’s get to it.

The hosts welcome us to the show and we are indeed looking at great Thanksgiving moments over the years.

From 2008.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhino vs. Alex Shelley

Bashir is X-Division Champion and helps Shelley for a double team on Rhino. That goes nowhere as Rhyno easily slugs both of them away and scores with a belly to belly for two on Bashir. Clipped to Rhino getting double teamed again but the others keep getting in an argument over scoring the pin (and a $25,000 prize). Bashir rolls Shelley up for two but gets caught in a super atomic drop. Rhino uses the distraction to Gore Shelley for the pin at 2:48 shown.

Post match, Mick Foley tells Shelley he has to put the suit on but Shelley doesn’t want to. See, the women won’t be happy and that would hurt the ratings. That’s cool with Foley, but Shelley is fired if he doesn’t do it. Shelley finally puts it on and Foley makes gibblet jokes. Foley: “Is that a gizzard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The suit goes on and more jokes are made. If this is the case, I can go with it more than holding a regular show on Thanksgiving.

We do have some 2023 material as well.

Good Hands/Champagne Singh/Jai Vidal vs. PCO/Johnny Swinger/Jake Something/Mike Bailey

Gravy Train Turkey Trot, meaning whomever loses the fall has to wear the turkey suit. Skyler shoulders Bailey down to start before handing it off to Hotch, who gets kicked in the head over and over. Swinger comes in but gets cheap shotted by Skyler, who gets rolled up for a fast two. It’s off to Singh to beat on Swinger as the villains keep tagging out to avoid the threat of the turkey suit.

Something comes in so Vidal….maybe flirts with him, earning a right hand to the face. Something cleans house and powerbombs Vidal over the top onto a pile on the floor. The big Something dive drops them again but the Good Hands and Singh manage to knock PCO down. That lasts all of two seconds as it’s a chokeslam into the PCOsault to finish Vidal at 5:14.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note of course but this is one of the few traditions that Impact has which does feel like a fun idea. It’s completely goofy fun and they don’t present it as anything else. Vidal can play a fine enough post match goof and he got pinned by a monster like PCO. Nothing wrong with this and it’s once a year.

Post match Vidal won’t do it so Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans force him to wear the suit for the sake of keeping the team together.

From 2016.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues.

From 2013.

Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they’re thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn’t here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.

Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: “I’m not sure about that.” Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.

It’s time to eat but here’s Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here’s his backup. Fernum and Barnes are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.

From 2017.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice
Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

From 2007.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

This is the finals of the Turkey Bowl, with the winner getting $25,000 and the loser wearing the turkey suit. Joe and Sabin double team Styles to start and knock him to the floor. That leaves Sabin to take Joe down but a kick misses, giving us a staredown. Styles gets knocked to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Sabin charging into a hot shot but Joe comes back in to punch Styles in the face. Styles breaks up the suicide elbow to Sabin though, meaning Joe punches him in the face some more. The drop down into a dropkick hits Joe and we take a break. Back again with Joe countering the springboard moonsault into an Air Raid Crash with Sabin having to make a save.

We take another break and come back again with Sabin hitting a springboard DDT to drop Joe. That earns Sabin a trip to the floor but Styles Peles Joe. The charge into the corner only hits kick to the face though, allowing Joe to hit the Muscle Buster for the pin at 9:33 shown (of the nearly thirty minute match).

Rating: B-. Well it seemed to be a good match, at least from what we saw of the thing. Joe was on another planet at this point and Styles was in his weird phase as Angle’s wacky goon, but it isn’t like he was going to be awful in the ring. Throw in a very talented Sabin and of course this was going to work, even if we missed almost twenty minutes.

Post match we cut to a livid Kurt Angle (AJ’s boss), storming out of his own Thanksgiving dinner. Back in the arena, AJ won’t put the suit on so here is Jim Cornette to order him to do it. After some coaxing, Styles (very slowly) puts the suit on so Tomko and Kurt come out to yell. Samoa Joe and the Outsiders come out to laugh at Angle and pals, meaning the brawl is on. The bad guys are cleared out, with Eric Young coming in to add a turkey leg to Angle to wrap things up. Then Hall got fired and Joe was given a live mic at the pay per view where he went on an all time rant against a lot of people.

Overall Rating: D+. Normally I have a good time with this show, as it’s the definition of goofy harmless fun. Then I went to pull some of the matches from previous reviews and realized that three out of the five matches on this show were on last year’s show, including the exact same main event and post match segment to end the show. They’ve been doing this for over fifteen years and they had to recycle that much in a year? Come on already and put in some more effort than that.

Results
PCO/Johnny Swinger/Jake Something/Mike Bailey b. Good Hands/Jai Vidal/Champagne Singh – PCOsault to Vidal

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 12, 2023: That Gets A Yowza

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 12, 2023
Location: Graceland Live, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re just over a week away from Bound For Glory and that means we should be in for some more of the build towards the show. This week will include a five way match to decide the first and last entrants in the Call Your Shot gauntlet match. Some of the other matches need some build to them as well though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Tag Team Titles: Rascalz vs. Sami Callihan/Rich Swann

Callihan and Swann are challenging. Swann kicks Miguel into the corner to start and Callihan comes in to crank on his legs. A leglock sends Miguel over to the ropes so it’s back to Swann for a kick to the ribs. The rolling splash gives Swann two and he hands it off to Callihan, who gets cheap shotted from the floor. The champs start taking turns on Callihan in the corner, followed by Miguel hammering away with right hands.

Callihan avoids what looks like a top rope double stomp and nails a clothesline, allowing the tag back to Swann. House is quickly cleaned and the Rascalz are sent outside for the flip dive off the apron. Back in and Wentz superplexes Swann for two, complete with a double bicep cover.

We take a break and come back with Miguel grabbing a chinlock on Swann to keep things slow. Something like an Octopus hold on the mat fires Swann up again so Miguel goes back to the regular chinlock. It’s back to Wentz who gives up the tag to Callihan so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and a double clothesline/double bulldog combination leaves all four down.

Callihan gets superkicked to the floor, leaving Swann to get caught with a powerbomb/Blockbuster combination for two. Miguel loads up the spray paint but hits Wentz by mistake, allowing Swann to kick Miguel to the floor. A spike piledriver gets two on Wentz so they load it up again, only for Swann to get crotched on top. Callihan gets hit low and the Hot Fire Flame retains the titles at 18:25.

Rating: B. This got a good deal of time and it felt like a big time match. The Rascalz cheating over and over is their thing and it made for a very nice opener. This could have been on Bound For Glory but now we’re going to be in for an even bigger showdown with ABC at the pay per view.

We look at Heath and Kenny King brawling two weeks ago.

Kenny King says Santino Marella and Scott D’Amore are running from him but Sheldon Jean doesn’t get it. King says it doesn’t matter because he’s coming for Heath.

KiLynn King doesn’t like Jody Threat after all of the violence Threat has done, including an attack with a tire iron. Cue Santino Marella to say there was no way to know it was a tire iron, which leaves King to confess to being the one to attack Taylor Wilde. Long Live The King.

Eric Young vs. Dirty Dango vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Jake Something vs. Champagne Singh

The winner is the #20 entrant in the Call Your Shot gauntlet while the person to take the fall is #1. Alpha Bravo is here with Dango, whose catchphrase is cut off by Something’s entrance. We’re joined in progress after a break with Singh and Dango stomping on Something and Young but Grace comes back in to slug away at the villains. She spends too much time posing though, allowing Singh and Dango to take her down.

We pause for Singh and Dango to have a pose off before Singh chokes Grace in the corner. Young comes back in but gets sent outside, leaving Singh and Dango to beat Grace up some more. A double elbow puts Grace down again but Something comes back in to drop Singh. Back up and the double teaming continues on Grace, at least until Singh crotches Dango on top. Grace uses the distraction to German suplex Dango and kind of Jackhammer Singh for two.

Something is back in again with a powerbomb to Dango but Singh steals the cover for two more. Singh catches something on top but Grace is back in to make it a Tower Of Doom. The cover is broken up by Dango’s Last Dance but Young, who is actually in this match believe it or not, cuts Dango off. The top rope elbow hits Dango but Bravo makes the save. Bravo shines a flashlight on Young, who drops him with a right hand. Singh decks Young…..and cue Oleg Prudius (Vladimir Kozlov) to wreck some people, including a headbutt to Something. Dango hits the Dead Ant to pin Something at 9:00.

Rating: C-. This match tried to get better near the end but Young was active for about a minute and a half of the thing and a good stretch was spent as a glorified handicap match. Dango stealing the win fits him perfectly and it makes logical sense for him to win it this way. I could go for Something getting a strong run in Call Your Shot, as he could certainly use the push. Grace and Singh are both just going to be kind of there, while Young will probably be a favorite in the thing. Finally, Prudius is an interesting pick as an enforcer, as he still looks great and can probably be enough of a monster.

Crazzy Steve is still singing about wanting to hurt Tommy Dreamer. He stabbed Dreamer before Dreamer could stab him because he is Dreamer’s angel of death. Steve is ready to show Dreamer about pain.

Mike Bailey understands Jonathan Gresham’s frustrations but he’s focused on Will Ospreay at Bound For Glory. For next week though, the open challenge is on.

Courtney Rush vs. Tasha Steelz

Jessicka and Deonna Purrazzo are here too. They trade arm control to start before fighting over a waistlock. The grappling goes to the mat with Rush slipping out of a headscissors but not being able to grab what looked to be a Sharpshooter. A t-bone suplex drops Steelz again but Purrazzo’s distraction lets Steelz avoid a high crossbody. Steelz kicks her to the floor where Purrazzo gets in a cheap shot like a villain should.

Back in and a double clothesline puts Rush and Steelz down, followed by Rush hitting something close to Flip Flop and Fly. The Sharpshooter goes on this time but Steelz makes the rope for the break. Rush tries to pull her away from the ropes but Steelz pulls her into a Codebreaker for two (that was a sweet counter). Back up and Rush’s spear hits the buckle, allowing Steelz to hit a cutter for the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and what matters is Steelz gets a win to boost her towards the Knockouts Tag Team Title match at Bound For Glory. That tends to be the traditional way to set up such a match, despite it having nothing to do with a tag match. For now though, Steelz gets a boost while Rush loses again. I’m sure something wacky will happen to her in the future though, as that tends to be her norm.

Video on Josh Alexander being forced to vacate the World Title earlier this year and his path back to the title match against Alex Shelley at Bound For Glory.

We look at Josh Alexander and Alex Shelley teaming up in a losing effort in New Japan, where Alexander accidentally hit Shelley.

Bully Ray didn’t like what Steve Maclin has said about him recently but Maclin stands up to him. Ray says cool and walks off.

Bound For Glory/next week rundown.

Frankie Kazarian vs. Eddie Edwards

This is a Killer Impact match, meaning the first fall is pinfall only, the second fall is submission only and the third fall, if necessary, is Last Man Standing. Eddie knocks him to the apron to start but Kazarian hits a quick slingshot Fameasser over the middle rope. A slingshot rollup gives Kazarian two but Eddie pokes him in the eye and grabs a belly to back suplex. Eddie chokes on the ropes but Kazarian comes back with some shots of his own. The springboard spinning legdrop misses though and the Boston Knee Party gives Edwards the first fall at 3:26.

Kazarian takes his time getting up for the second fall and Edwards is right there to suplex him back down. Some shots in the corner have Kazarian down again and a belly to back suplex sends us to a break. Back with Eddie chopping him down but Kazarian slaps him in the face. The chickenwing is broken up so Kazarian goes with an elbow to the face. That’s fine with Eddie, who belly to back suplexes him out to the floor in a nasty crash. More chops have Kazarian’s chest bleeding (geez) and even more have him staggering around ringside.

Back in and Kazarian manages to slug away, setting up a hard clothesline to put Eddie down for a change. Kazarian ties up Eddie’s leg and pulls on his arm for a weird submission (as the blood is FLOWING down his chest). Eddie kicks his way to freedom and grabs a half crab. That’s broken up as well but Eddie is right back with the Backpack Stunner…only to pose enough for Kazarian to grab the chickenwing to tie it up at 17:59 total.

Kazarian shoves Eddie off the top for a crash out to the floor and the slingshot hurricanrana makes it worse. We take a break and come back with Kazarian unloading with a trashcan, which winds up being rather destroyed. Kazarian misses a charge and gets sent hard into a production worker at ringside for an eight count. Eddie suplexes him right back down and then does it again, with Kazarian barely beating the count.

They get back inside where Kazarian grabs a slingshot cutter for a seven count before Kazarian falls out to the floor. Since we need one, Kazarian loads up a table, though he is smart enough to stop and blast Edwards with a cookie sheet. Eddie is fine enough to suplex him onto the steps and we get another near count. Kazarian grabs an Unprettier onto the steps but that’s still not quite enough.

Eddie is laid on the table so Kazarian goes up, only to have Alisha Edwards run in with a kendo stick for the save. Some chairs are piled up in the ring and a top rope superplex drops Kazarian onto them for the big crash. They both get back up and head outside again, with Eddie setting up another table (because you need two). A low blow gets Kazarian out of trouble and a Styles Clash on the stage drops Eddie again.

For some reason Kazarian goes back to ringside, where Alisha’s tornado DDT is pulled out of the air. Kazarian drives them through a table (with Kazarian taking most of the impact) but Eddie is back to jump Kazarian again. They fight on the apron until Kazarian hits Fade to Black through the table at ringside for the win at 33:26 total.

Rating: A-. Yowza that was a heck of a fight and that’s what it was supposed to be. This felt like two people beating the living daylights out of each other until one of them couldn’t get up again. It made Kazarian look like a conqueror and the better man at the end of a feud. The first two falls were very good and then the third fall turned into the brutal fight that it was supposed to be. Heck of a match and one of the best things Impact has done in a rather long time.

Overall Rating: B+. The opener was quite good and the main event was great, with those two matches taking up almost half of the show. That more than makes up for the two middle of the road matches in between and I had a great time with this. That main event is worth seeing if you have time but the opener is more than good enough. This was the wrestling show, which makes sense as they clear some things out on the way to Bound For Glory. Awesome main event on a pretty great show.

Results
Rascalz b. Sami Callihan/Rich Swann – Hot Fire Flame to Callihan
Dirty Dango b. Eric Young, Jordynne Grace, Champagne Singh and Jake Something – Dead Ant to Something
Tasha Steelz b. Courtney Rush – Cutter
Frankie Kazarian b. Eddie Edwards 2-1

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 5, 2023: They Have A Target

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2023
Location: Graceland Live, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

The road to Bound for Glory continues as we have a main event of Alex Shelley defending the World Title against Josh Alexander all set. This week, Alexander has a long term warmup match this week against Kon, which isn’t what what I would expect for someone set for the biggest match of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz vs. Killer Kelly

Kelly has Masha Slamovich in her corner. Kelly crawls at Steelz to start and licks her boot, which has Steelz a little weirded out. Steelz knocks her into the corner with some chops but Kelly is back with knees to the face. A hard kick puts Steelz on the floor but she’s right back in to take over. The chinlock doesn’t long long for Steelz as Kelly elbows her way out and smiles a lot. Steelz sends her outside and baseball slides into Slamovich, allowing Kelly to get two off a rollup.

The camel clutch goes on, with Steelz quickly switching it to a crossface. With that broken up, Steelz tries Stratusfaction but gets blocked, allowing Kelly to make the clothesline comeback. A butterfly suplex into the corner rocks Steelz again and there’s a running corner dropkick for two. Steelz tries to fight up but gets pulled into the Killer Klutch. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to pull the referee out but she didn’t see who did it. The distraction lets Steelz hit the Black Out for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. This was designed to set up Steelz and Purrazzo for a Knockouts Tag Team Title match, as the way to get a Tag Team Title match is to win a singles match. The match was a good showcase for Kelly, but the ending was the usual distraction into a pin. It did its job, but it could have been a bit more interesting.

We look at Savannah Evans beating Jessicka on BTI.

John Skyler arrives and runs into Savannah Evans. Skyler asks for Evans to be his partner in Fans’ Revenge tonight. Gisele Shaw knows that Skyler has been asking everyone to be his partner, so she gives him Jai Vidal instead.

Jonathan Gresham says his cheating last week was to prove how bad the referees are. Mike Bailey comes in to call him out on that but Gresham walks away.

Here is Tommy Dreamer for a chat. Dreamer wants and receives Crazzy Steve’s presence, so he can talk about their history together. They were partners and yes it’s true that Steve is really blind. He can see shadows and avoid people by listening. That is an inspiration to Dreamer, because his father was blind too. Dreamer even taught Steve how to drive, which was the first time Steve ever felt normal.

This is about entertaining people and being an inspiration, which is why Dreamer and these people care about him. Steve can have the Digital Media Title shot anywhere and anytime he wants, which gives us a STEVE chant. They hug, and then Steve stabs him in the back with a fork. People come out to check on Dreamer as Steve sings about how the angel of death came to Tommy’s room as we hopefully ignore Dreamer randomly wearing a jacket and the small lump on his back.

Post break we see what we saw pre break.

Dirty Dango/Champagne Singh/Jake Something/Eric Young/Jordynne Grace vs. Brian Myers/Shera/KiLynn King/Jody Threat/Bully Ray

The winning team will face off in a five way for the #1 and #20 shot in the Call Your Shot Gauntlet Match at Bound For Glory. Threat knocks Dango down to start and it’s King coming in, offering a free shot. Shera and Singh come in and try to tag out, with Shera finally bringing Threat in instead. We take a break and come back with Grace suplexing her way out of trouble and wanting Ray. Grace’s suplex to Ray doesn’t work as he easily picks her up for a slam.

The Hogan hand to the ear (he is former family) sets up a missed elbow, allowing Young to come in for a slam of his own. Young hits a dropkick and brings Grace back in for a slugout with Threat. Grace hits a spinebuster but King comes in to deck her from behind. King tosses Threat and kicks Grace in the head but a Neutralizer is blocked. Something gets to come in and clean house, including slamming Ray off the top and then beating up his own partners. Into The Void gives Something the pin on Shera at 10:12.

Rating: C+. The match was mostly just basic wrestling until everything went nuts at the end. It makes sense that the partners are going to fight at some point but giving Something the win is a good sign for his future. Impact seems intent on pushing him and there are worse options out there. I’m not sure if he wins Call Your Shot, but he’s racking up wins rather quickly.

Josh Alexander wanted Kon tonight to test himself before Bound For Glory. Alex Shelley comes in to say he wants to prove himself against the best, so he’ll be Alexander’s insurance policy for one night only.

Video on Mickie James vacating the Knockouts Title before Rebellion earlier this year. Trinity won the title and now Mickie wants her title back at Bound For Glory.

Trinity has seen Mickie James eyeing her title, but it makes sense as Mickie never lost the title. Mickie is one of Trinity’s friends and they can have the match, but Trinity is leaving as champion.

ABC vs. John Skyler/Jai Vidal

Fans’ Revenge, meaning there are fans serving as lumberjacks with straps and Vidal is substituting for an absent Jason Hotch. Skyler insults most of the fans, but the fans around the ring are downright nifty. Skyler shoves Bey against the ropes to start but gets sent outside for some whipping. Bey on the other hand is sent outside and the fans take pictures with him. Vidal tries to break it up and gets whipped as well, sending Rehwoldt into a heck of a rant about how unfair this is.

Back in and Skyler gets beaten up again, meaning it’s out to the floor with him again. This time Skyler stops a fan from whipping him, allowing the rest of the fans to whip him instead. Skyler chops Vidal for a tag and ABC takes him down without much effort. Bey heads outside for some Too Sweeting with the fans, leaving Austin to strike away at Vidal. Another toss to the floor means another whipping but Vidal actually takes over on Austin back inside. Skyler gets to stomp away inside so Bey comes in, meaning Austin’s rollup doesn’t get a count.

Austin is sent outside and doesn’t get whipped, only to have Skyler be sent outside as well for the opposite treatment. Back in and Austin hits a springboard spinning kick to the head, allowing the tag off to Bey. A low bridge sends Skyler outside for the whipping, with Skyler walking around the ring so the pain continues. Skyler finally gets a whip away but Bey nails a flip dive. Back in and Vidal gets kicked in the face, setting up the 1-2-Sweet to pin Skyler at 8:20.

Rating: C. This was a one joke match and they went with that joke over and over. I’m not sure if they needed to keep doing it over and over again, but at least it was something unique for everyone involved. At the same time though, this wasn’t quite the big revenge match as Hotch wasn’t there, but being with your newborn child is a bit more important than any wrestling feud.

Video on Frankie Kazarian vs. Eddie Edwards, who are ready to end their rivalry.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Moose

Brian Myers is here with Moose. Gujjar gets powered around to start but Moose misses a spear attempt. Moose avoids a knee though and hits a discus lariat. A powerbomb sets up the spear to pin Gujjar at 2:55.

Post match here is Steve Maclin and post break he says that briefcase is his. He’s the one who climbed up and pulled the briefcase down but then Rhino cost him the case. Maclin wants the briefcase, which has Moose laughing. Moose says it’s two on one with Brian Myers at his side, and since Bully Ray isn’t here, Maclin doesn’t have any help. Violence is threatened but the lights go out and we get some lightning. Cue PCO to clear the ring without much effort but cue Rhino to Gore Maclin.

The Rascalz spray paint the Tag Team Titles, which doesn’t work for Santino Marella. ABC comes in to say they’ll get the titles back at Bound For Glory. Sami Callihan and Rich Swann come in, saying they wants the titles. Santino makes Callihan/Swann vs. Rascalz for the titles next week, with ABC getting the winners at Bound For Glory. Works for everyone but the champs.

Chris Sabin is ready for Kenta, and talks about how similar they really are.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander vs. Kon

Alex Shelley is on commentary and Deaner is here with Kon. Alexander’s early takedown doesn’t work so Kon sends him into the corner and then out to the apron. A top rope shoulder works better for Alexander and we take an early break. Back with Alexander chopping away but getting run over with straight power.

Kon drops an elbow and then adds a big running one for two. Alexander’s abdominal stretch attempt is broken up in all of two seconds as Kon whips him into the ropes for the break. The nerve hold goes on so Alexander gets in his own fast break. A German suplex drops Kon and Alexander strikes away for two.

Alexander misses a moonsault though and Kon hits a running splash in the corner. Kon’s chokebomb gets two but the referee gets bumped. Alexander hits a running crossbody to the back so Deaner grabs a chair. That leaves Alexander to swing, only to hit an interfering Alex Shelley by mistake. Back in and Alexander ankle locks Kon, who powers out. The C4 Spike finishes Kon at 12:49.

Rating: C+. Alexander being in the match makes things feel a bit bigger, even if Kon is the definition of the run of the mill big monster. The deal with Shelley will add in some extra tension to their title match as they’re making me want to see them fight. Just get rid of the Design stuff and it’ll be that much better.

Post match Shelley comes in to give Alexander Shell Shock.

Overall Rating: C+. They are in full on build towards Bound or Glory mode and they either set up matches or advanced some things that were already set up. That means the show was able to stay focused most of the night, but it didn’t make for the most exciting two hours. When you know what you’re getting, it takes away some of the feeling that anything can happen, but they did a good job of building up towards the biggest show of the year.

Results
Tasha Steelz b. Killer Kelly – Black Out
Dirty Dango/Champagne Singh/Jake Something/Jordynne Grace/Eric Young b. Bully Ray/Shera/Brian Myers/KiLynn King/Jody Threat – Into The Void to Shera
ABC b. Jai Vidal/John Skyler – 1-2-Sweet to Skyler
Moose b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Spear
Josh Alexander b. Kon – C4 Spike

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 7, 2023: Getting Ready X2

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 7, 2023
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for Victory Road, but perhaps more important, we’re a week away from Impact 1000, which has the potential to be something special. I could go for seeing a lot of the legends back for one more run, but we have a more modern special to set up first. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Dani Luna

Luna works on a headlock to start before they go into some standing switches. Luna gets two off a clothesline but Purrazzo snaps off Two Amigos. They head to the apron with Purrazzo snapping Luna’s arm down hard. Back in and a Backstabber drops Luna but she comes back with some forearms to the face. Purrazzo has had enough though and it’s a Russian legsweep into the Fujiwara armbar to finish Luna at 6:05.

Rating: C+. I liked this one well enough as we rarely see Luna in the ring on this show. She isn’t the most complex wrestler in the world but she does well with the power game. Purrazzo seems ready to move back into something bigger, though that needs to be something other than facing Trinity after her latest loss.

Crazzy Steve insists that he is not crazy, including when he attacked Black Taurus last week. He saw what used to be rage and now Taurus is going to do the exact same thing that everyone has done to him: leave him abandoned and forgotten. Now it’s time to decimate.

Tommy Dreamer is ready to put his career on the line against Kenny King. He talks about going to his first show in 1980 and it became the love of his life. His parents and children have been everywhere for his major events but he had to say goodbye to his mother recently. Everyone has second guessed him but here is Heath to interrupt. Heath tries to talk him out of putting his career on the line because everyone respects him. Dreamer says he’s writing one final chapter.

Joe Hendry/Yuya Uemura vs. Champagne Singh/Shera

Joe and Yuya have quite the coordinated entrance as they are dubbed JoYa. Yuya armdrags Singh a few times to start but Singh snaps off a hot shot. Shera comes in for a slam but Yuya forearms away at Singh. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Hendry, who suplexes Shera down. Everything breaks down and it’s an airplane spin tossed into Yuya’s cutter to finish Singh at 4:27.

Rating: C. This was almost all about the entrance, which is of course incredibly catchy, as tends to be the case with any Hendry music. It’s a clever team and they got off on the right foot here. I like Hendry moving up a step and he and Yuya have had some good chemistry together in their limited interactions.

Steve Maclin and Bully Ray are ready for PCO and Josh Alexander. Well part of it at least as Ray is terrified of PCO. He wants Carl Ouellet rather than PCO, who seems indestructible. Ray has lit PCO on fire but he keeps coming back so Ray wants Maclin to follow his lead. Maclin isn’t overly impressed.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong.

Video on Will Ospreay.

Josh Alexander is ready for Steve Maclin at Victory Road and for tonight’s tag match.

Subculture vs. Rich Swann/Sami Callihan

Andrews and Swann fight over wrist control to start and miss stereo dropkicks for a standoff. Callihan comes in to chop at Webster but Swann misses a springboard kick to the head. Subculture dropkicks Swann to the floor and a big dive takes him down as we take a break. Back with Swann fighting out of a seated abdominal stretch but getting dropkicked down again.

Andrews misses a charge into the post and Swann kicks his way to freedom, allowing the tag off to Callihan. House is cleaned and Callihan breaks up a double team attempt, only to get caught with Stundog Millionaire. Morgan misses the 450 though and it’s back to Swann to pick up the pace. A running cutter on the ramp drops Webster and a kick to the head sets up a middle rope 450 to finish Webster at 12:38.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here but that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Subculture have shown they can work with anyone and Swann/Callihan have done some good things together. What matters here is it feels like they are actually building a division and that is a nice flashback to days of Impact past. It can be done, and this was a nice way to boost a team that needed the help.

We look at Gisele Shaw and company getting rid of MK Ultra in last week’s battle royal.

Shaw and company are coming for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

The Rascalz brag about winning the Tag Team Titles when the Good Hands come in. They seem to imply they want their payment, in the form of a title shot, for helping the Rascalz win the belts in the first place. The Rascalz don’t seem interested.

Lio Rush vs. Kevin Knight

Non-title. Knight counters Rush’s rapid fire head fakes to start and knocks him to the floor, meaning Rush is ready to walk. That doesn’t work for Knight so he sends Rush back inside and takes him down for two. Rush bails outside again and gets chopped into the barricade as Knight is on a roll to start. Back in and they trade chops in the corner with Rush getting the better of things. That’s broken up as well and Knight kicks away but gets caught with a shot in the corner we take a break.

We come back with Knight missing a charge in the corner and getting dropped with a hard clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock and then an armbar until Knight powers up for some rams into the corner. Knight snaps off a middle rope hurricanrana (that looked good) and they’re both down. Back up and Knight hits a splash in the corner, followed by a clothesline for two. A high dropkick knocks Rush silly but a springboard spinning crossbody misses. Rush kicks him in the head and hits the Final Hour for the pin at 10:21.

Rating: B-. The more I see of Knight, the more I like him. He’s very athletic and can work the fast paced style, which offered a rare challenge for Rush. There was no need to have Knight get the win here, but having him hang in there with name after name is a rather smart way to go. Give him some wins and you might have something with him. Rush already has Kushida coming up though and this was the kind of boost he needed before the title defense.

Post match Rush grabs a Hoverboard Lock but Kushida runs in for the save.

Dirty Dango and Alpha Bravo aren’t looking forward to Impact 1000, with Dango bringing up names from the very early days of the company. Dango: “We’re doing it Dixie!” He mocks Jake Something defending pro wrestling and isn’t worried about beating him at Impact 1000.

Here is Santino Marella to run the contract signing for the Victory Road Knockouts Title match. Cue Alisha Edwards, with Eddie Edwards (and alcohol), and Trinity, with Santino hyping up the match as well as he can. Alisha mocks his accent and talks about how glad she is that she changed like Eddie did. She promises to win the title and signs without incident.

Trinity signs without saying a word and Alisha is a bit offended. It turns out Trinity can’t understand Alisha’s accent (the fans approve), but in reality she respects what Alisha has accomplished. Alisha accuses Trinity of being given a pass to the top, with Trinity suggesting Eddie helped Alisha get here.

Eddie rants about how they’ve been here longer than anyone but Trinity brings up Eddie turning his back on the company. Alisha spits the alcohol into Trinity’s face but then stops to talk trash. That’s enough for Trinity to kick her in the head and the brawl is on. Trinity loads up a powerbomb through the table but Eddie breaks it up and puts her through the table instead. Frankie Kazarian makes a late save. Not a great contract signing, as Alisha isn’t the most interesting challenger.

Victory Road rundown.

The Motor City Machine Guns are ready to get their Tag Team Titles back.

Bully Ray/Steve Maclin vs. Josh Alexander/PCO

Alexander and Maclin start things off, with the threat of an ankle lock sending Maclin running away in a hurry. Ray comes in and looks scared at the thought of a tag to PCO. That’s exactly what he gets though and naturally Maclin comes in as well. PCO hits a quick clothesline and stomps away in the corner as we take a break.

Back with Alexander chopping away at Maclin in the corner and handing it back to PCO. That doesn’t go so well as Maclin takes over in the corner (where Ray isn’t having any of this tagging in stuff) but PCO fights out with relative ease. Alexander comes back in but gets taken into the wrong corner, allowing Ray to come in and stomp away. The middle rope dropkick hits Ray but he sends Alexander outside, where Alexander comes up favoring his recently repaired arm.

Back in and Maclin stomps away before grabbing a chinlock with a knee between Alexander’s shoulders. An Irish Curse gives Maclin two and it’s back to Ray for some clotheslines. Alexander manages to suplex his way out of trouble though and it’s PCO coming back in to clean house. Maclin knocks Alexander off the apron but gets caught with a Backstabber by PCP. The middle rope legdrop sends Maclin outside and there’s the big dive to send him into the barricade. Ray tries to talk his way out of trouble but it takes a Maclin distraction so Ray can get in a low blow. The rollup finishes PCO at 14:55.

Rating: B-. The match was good but this was never about the wrestling itself. This was about getting two of the big matches at Victory Road in the ring together and that is something that works almost every time. Ray didn’t so much beat PCO here as much s he caught him, and that is going to mean pain tomorrow night.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a nice way to get me ready for Victory Road and that’s what the show was supposed to do. There was nothing bad on the show and I’ll take that over a two hour stretch. While there were some parts that weren’t so interesting, there was enough here to make it worth a look, especially if you’re watching Victory Road.

Results
Deonna Purrazzo b. Dani Luna – Fujiwara armbar
Joe Hendry/Yuya Uemura b. Champagne Singh/Shera – Toss cutter to Singh
Rich Swann/Sami Callihan b. Subculture – Middle rope 450 to Webster
Lio Rush b. Kevin Knight – Final Hour
Bully Ray/Steve Maclin b. PCO/Josh Alexander – Rollup to PCO

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 6, 2023: That’s A Hot One

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 6, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are just over a week away from Slammiversary and the card is all but set. Oddly enough, one of the better built matches has been Scott D’Amore/PCO vs. Bully Ray/Steve Maclin, as the videos on D’Amore have been great. On top of that, there is also a new alliance in the form of Nick Aldis and Lio Rush, who are going after the Motor City Machine Guns. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie and shouts at Kazarian, even as he suplexes Eddie into a neckbreaker to start. A fisherman’s suplex gives Kazarian two but Eddie manages to send him outside, where Alisha gets in a tornado DDT. Back in and Eddie rakes the eyes and chops in the corner, allowing Alisha to choke away.

Kazarian is sent to the apron where Alisha gets in another cheap shot, allowing Eddie to hit a clothesline. A slingshot DDT plants Eddie on the apron though and it’s a double down on the floor. Back in and Kazarian counters the Blue Thunder Bomb into a failed chickenwing so it’s an Unprettier for two on Eddie instead.

Another chickenwing attempt is blocked and Eddie grabs the tiger driver for two of his own. The chickenwing finally goes on but Alisha offers a distraction, allowing Eddie to drive it into the corner, with the referee getting bumped in the process. Alisha kendo sticks Kazarian from behind though and the Boston Knee Party finishes for Eddie at 10:46.

Rating: B-. Well yeah of course this was good. They’re both talented wrestlers and they have a story going. Giving them some time to put a match together is going to work and it went well here. You can probably pencil in some kind of a mixed tag for Slammiversary and that opens up more than a few options.

We look back at Nick Aldis and Lio Rush laying out the Motor City Machine Guns. That’s your main event tonight.

Chris Sabin is ready to face Rush for the X-Division Title at Slammiversary.

Rush says he’s here to win titles instead of making friends. Nick Aldis comes in to say he’s here to make history, and they can accomplish these things together. As long as Rush stays out of Aldis’ way.

Frankie Kazarian congratulates Eddie Edwards on the win, even if that’s not how Killer Kowalski taught them. They’re 1-1 so let’s have the rubber match at Slammiversary, with Kazarian offering to bring his wife, Traci Brooks, to even things up.

Champagne Singh/Shera vs. Rich Swann/Sami Callihan

Swann get double teamed down to start and Singh drops him with a Downward Spiral for some trash talk. Swann trips him down though and it’s back to Callihan to pick up the pace. This includes the always stupid throw a team together and make someone DDT his partner spot. Swann comes back in for a double superkick to Singh, meaning it’s the Cactus Driver to finish Singh at 3:16.

Rating: C. Not much beyond a squash here but it’s good to have Callihan and Swann look like a solid team on the way towards Slammiversary. They’re long established as friends and have teamed together, but rarely as a two on two team. Beating up Singh and Shera is always fun too, and it worked well here.

Moose and Brian Myers are ready to give Callihan and Swann real competition.

We look at Santino Marella yelling at Dirty Dango, allowing Heath to jump Dango from behind.

Dirty Dango talks about how he loved wrestling in the 90s (Juventud Guerrera, Villano IV, Villano VII, people like that) but then he realized that things change when you get into the arena. Go back to school instead of wrestling. As for Santino Marella, Dango has grown up while Santino is still stuck in 2010. Dango: “It’s like going to a Yoko Ono concert where she just yodels the whole time.” As for Heath…..maybe try being a fork lift driver?

Angels vs. Jonathan Gresham

The Design is here with Angels, who is quickly sent outside. Deaner yells at Angels to do what he says so he goes back in and suplexes Gresham. A running dropkick sends Angels outside though and we take a break. Back with Gresham dropping him again for two and they fight over a suplex. A half and half suplex sends Gresham into the corner so Angels can hammer away, which doesn’t seem to be following Deaner’s plan. They fight over some rollups for two each until Gresham pulls him into the Octopus for the tap at 10:27.

Rating: C+. The idea here was Angels trying to pay attention to Deaner and do his own thing with neither exactly working. Beating Gresham is hard enough on its own and he did his whole technical wrestling master deal. If nothing else, it’s better than the same stuff the Design was doing with Sami Callihan for months, so hopefully this leads to the team falling apart and going away for good.

Post match Gresham offers a handshake but Deaner doesn’t want Angels to do it. Angels teases leaving but goes back in, with Deaner breaking up the handshake attempt. Deaner pokes him in the chest so Angels grabs his hand and then shakes Gresham’s hand.

The Bullet Club is ready to defend the titles against anyone, including three teams at Slammiversary. The Rascalz come in and want to be in he match, but Chris Bey says they haven’t won anything around here. Wentz suggests a match with Bey, and if Wentz wins, they’re in the title match. Seems to be a deal.

Video on the Australia shows. Good for them for getting to go somewhere else, as they’ve turned things around so much in the last few years.

We recap the issues between Deonna Purrazzo, Trinity and Gisele Shaw.

Trinity thanks Purrazzo for having her back last week. Purrazzo says she wants Trinity 100% when she beats her at Slammiversary and that’s not cool with Trinity. Purrazzo is willing to put out the open challenge next week to show Trinity who she’s facing at Slammiversary.

PCO vs. Good Hands

Scott D’Amore joins commentary. Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how PCO is about to feel these good hands. PCO beats them to the floor to start and hits the big running flip dive. The Deanimator hits Hotch and a reverse DDT plants Skyler back inside. The PCOsault finishes Skyler at 1:56.

Post match Hotch goes after D’Amore and gets beaten up for his efforts, including a Sky High. The Canadian Destroyer is loaded up but here is Bully Ray to interrupt. Steve Maclin sneaks in from behind though and the villains wreck PCO and D’Amore with a chair. D’Amore gets handcuffed to the rope and PCO gets destroyed even worse, including being put through a chair.

PCO gets thrown down a ramp into the backstage area. After yelling at D’Amore some more, they follow PCO outside and pour…..battery acid into PCO’s mouth. Then they add lighter fluid and light him on fire. This went on for a LONG time and while the ending looked cool, it was hard to keep interest all the way there.

Post break, we look back at what we just saw.

Scott D’Amore is looking at PCO, who doesn’t know how the Slammiversary match is affected and really doesn’t care.

Gisele Shaw vs. Courtney Rush

Jai Vidal, Savannah Evans and Jessicka are here too. Shaw runs her over to start so Rush grabs a top wristlock. Rush sends her outside for a breather, followed by a reverse DDT for two back inside. Vidal offers a distraction though and Shaw gets in a kick to the head to start the comeback. A suplex gives Shaw two and frustration is setting in. Rush knocks her away but Evans offers a distraction. Jessicka slugs her down but gets sent into the steps. Vidal gets on the apron as well and that’s enough of a distraction for Shaw to grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: C. Shaw gets another win as the numbers game is too much for Rush and Jessicka. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Shaw accept Deonna Purrazzo’s challenge next week, though adding her to the title match at Slammiversary at this point doesn’t feel likely. So far the new Death Dollz haven’t been doing so well but their whole huge story has had so many twists and turns that something is going to come from all of it.

Kenny King and Sheldon Jean are interrupted by a random fan who has no business being backstage. She tries to put money in King’s pants, and another woman does the same. Then Joe Hendry pops up and produces Yuya Uemura to prevent a 2-1 beatdown. The villains leave.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lio Rush/Nick Aldis

Sabin wants Rush to start but gets Aldis instead. Aldis easily wins an exchange of shoulders and elbows Sabin in the face for a bonus. Rush comes in and starts the dodging, setting up a jumping kick to the head. We hit the rear naked choke but Sabin slips out and slides outside to trip Aldis. Shelley uses the distraction to jump Rush from behind and Sabin gets two off a double stomp.

The abdominal stretch keeps Rush in trouble and Shelley knocks him outside. This time Aldis gets in a cheap shot on Shelley and we take a break. Back with Aldis clotheslining Shelley and stomping away a bit more. Aldis starts in on the leg and Rush comes in for some right hands of his own. Rush chokes in the corner and the bodyscissors goes on. It’s back to Aldis for a chinlock but Shelley fights up with a Downward Spiral into the corner.

The tag brings in Sabin to clean house, including a middle rope missile dropkick to Rush. Everything breaks down and a Magic Killer of all things gets two on Rush. Aldis is taken down with a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes, with Rush taking one of his own. The Guns go after Aldis, allowing Rush to hit a big running flip dive to take everyone out. Aldis adds a top rope elbow for two but Rush misses the final Hour.

There’s the Dream Sequence to Rush and a cutter drops Aldis. The powerbomb/sliding cutter hits Rush for two with Aldis making the save. Aldis gets the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf on Shelley, with Sabin making the save. Rush hits Sabin low and kicks him in the head, setting up the Final Hour for the pin at 17:54.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but eventually picked up well. What mattered here was setting up the King vs. Sabin title match at Slammiversary and they covered that well. Aldis vs. Shelley is more or less set up in advance, so this was a good way to make both title matches feel more interesting at the same time.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as Slammiversary has come together rather well and I’m wanting to see the show. The PCO thing was quite over the top but it does kind of fit with how intense the feud has been. In addition to that, the title matches got some nice boosts and nothing is feeling overly weak. Next week is set up for the big go home show and now I’m curious to see what they’re going to do for the big finale. God stuff here, which might as well be the official subtitle as of late.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Frankie Kazarian – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Champagne Singh/Shera – Cactus Driver to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Angels – Octopus
PCO b. Good Hands – PCOsault to Skyler
Gisele Shaw b. Courtney Rush – Rollup with feet on the ropes

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2023

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow this is the go home show for Against All Odds, despite being less than two weeks removed from Under Siege. The main event of tomorrow’s show will see Steve Maclin defending the World Title against Alex Shelley, so odds are the hard push is on tonight. Other than that, Bully Ray is still the big bad and needs someone to come after him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Jason Hotch

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and John Skyler are here too. Before the match, Myers and Skyler promise that after Against All Odds, the Tag Team Titles will be in good hands. Hotch tries a rollup to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. Bey chops away in the corner but a springboard is countered with a shove over the top to the floor. Back in and Bey hits a backdrop before kicking him in the head. The Art of Finesse is countered into a heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Hotch two. Bey is back with a kick to the face but Hotch tries la majistral. That’s fine with Bey, who stacks him up for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: B-. The word I think of when I see a Bey match is “smooth”. He can make anything he does in the ring look good and that was the case again here, as he and Hotch got to go out there and do their thing for a bit with nothing looking bad. The title match should be good as well and I could go for more of any combination of these guys.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the champs being left laying.

Heath is back and ready for the 8-4-1 match. Tonight, he’ll take out Champagne Singh to get ready for tomorrow.

Dirty Dango talks about how he has money now and doesn’t need to be the dancing clown again. He doesn’t like wrestlers texting him but he’ll happily take money to not show up. The idea of shaking hands with sweaty awkward 18-35 year old men in some armory somewhere sounds like ALL KINDS of fun. A 5X Dirty Dango shirt won’t cover up the smell so take a shower ok? He doesn’t care about winning the Digital Media Title. If he wins it, he’ll list it on eBay and use the proceeds to go to Hawaii. With a girl. This stuff is glorious.

Champagne Singh vs. Heath

Shera is here with Singh. Heath takes him into the corner for some forearms to start but Shera offers a distraction. That lets Singh snapmare him into the ropes to start banging up the ribs, giving Singh a target. Heath slips out of a powerbomb and hits a powerslam, setting up the Wake Up Call for the pin at 2:51.

The Design promises war with Sami Callihan, Jake Crist and whomever else they can find. Yeah yeah blood and violence and carnage and all that good stuff.

Here is Joe Hendry to say he’s ready to face the man who broke his nose, Sheldon Jean. That would be the reality star under the tutelage of another reality star, Kenny King. It isn’t that simple for Jean, especially because we believe.

Joe Hendry vs. Sheldon Jean

Non-title and King is here with Jean. Hendry takes Jean down fast to start but a King distraction lets Jean get in a kick to the face. We take a break and come back with Hendry powering out of a guillotine choke and hitting a suplex. The fall away slam looks to set up the Standing Ovation but King offers a distraction. Not that it matters as a powerbomb sets up the Standing Ovation finishes Jean off at 7:32.

Rating: C. Jean meets the description of a good hand and that should be enough to keep him on the roster for a long while to come. Eventually he’ll get a win or two and that is all he needs to make him a bit of a star. Hendry on the other hand has so much charisma and now he is backing up up with a better look and the ability in the ring.

Post match Hendry calls out Dirty Dango, who appears to say that he hates pro wrestling. He’ll pass on the fighting (it’s his day off), but Hendry has a new video about Dango, who seems to have lost his mind. Hendry plans to figure out what happened to make Dango nuts, sending us into a hilarious history of Dango’s career (he started by pinning Chris Jericho 1-2-3, then he was impersonating a cop with Breeze, then he couldn’t get laid on Total Divas). With the song over, Jean and King jump Hendry but Santino Marella comes out to make the save with the Cobra to Jean. Those songs are AMAZING and this was great again.

Gisele Shaw and company brag about taking out Jordynne Grace and think it should be a warning to Trinity. This is her house, and rent is due. Revenge is sworn at Against All Odds.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Wilde can’t do much with Jessicka to start so it’s off to Rush, who yells at King during the staredown. Rush takes her down but gets sent into the corner so King can take over. A swinging suplex gives King two but Rush gets over for the tag to Jessicka. That’s fine with Wilde, who sends her into the corner to take over as well as the Dollz can’t keep anything going here. Jessicka clotheslines her way to freedom and brings Rush back in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and King gets in a cheap shot to Rush, setting up a big boot/spinebuster to retain at 6:25.

Rating: C. As usual, the lack of depth in the division causes problems around here, as it’s hard to get around the fact that the division is the champs and whomever they are defending against at the moment. This should get rid of the Dollz for the time being, but who is there left for the Coven to face? I’m sure some wrestlers will be thrown together, but that doesn’t help the underlying problem.

Video on Alex Shelley becoming #1 contender and finally getting his World Title shot last August. Now he knows what it takes to come up short and that was a learning experience. We hear about the wrestlers that Shelley has mentored or influenced over the years but when is it about him? It doesn’t need to be this week, but Shelley almost has to win the title, just based off of how it has been built up.

Steve Maclin talks about all of the wrestlers who want the title but Bully Ray interrupts. Ray says he likes Maclin, who just won’t listen. Don’t worry though, because he won’t come for Maclin’s title until Slammiversary.

Killer Kelly vs. Masha Slamovich in a Dog Collar match is set for Against All Odds.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Gujjar takes him down to start but Miguel hits a kick to the face. With Miguel on the floor, Gujjar loads up a dive, which is knocked out of the air. Back in and a slingshot splash sets up a Lionsault to give Miguel one. Gujjar knocks him down again but misses a frog splashes, allowing Miguel to kick him down. Miguel misses what looked to be a top rope double stomp but comes right back with the Lightning Spiral for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. This was just a quick “Trey Miguel is great” win before he defends the title again tomorrow. Miguel is getting pretty high up there with some of the records and it’s pretty awesome to see him doing so well. If nothing else, having someone with a consistent track record holding a title is a good thing, and I’d like to see Miguel move up a bit after losing the title.

Post match Miguel says he doesn’t respect Chris Sabin and declares himself the a different kind of champion. He promises that tomorrow, he’ll win again and there will be no “yeah but’s” this time around.

Johnny Swinger brags about how great he is in the ring and talks about his daddy, Donny Swinger, telling him “Swing Sonny”, sometimes it’s time to pass the heat onto someone else. Like Russo! Either way, he blames “crooked referees paid off by Gene Simmons and Bob Seger”. That’s why he’s going to have Zicky Dice become a referee, and then he’ll have a strap around his waist. This man is a genius.

Trinity and Deonna Purrazzo are ready to fight at Slammiversary, but they’re ready to fight Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans tomorrow night too. It’s too bad that Jordynne Grace is out of action indefinitely, but this is a dangerous business.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis

Swann and Gresham start things off with Swann kicking him in the face. Aldis comes in and gets caught with a headscissors but ducks an enziguri. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is blocked though and it’s Moose coming in. Moose misses a charge and gets punched in the face before Aldis grabs an armbar.

We take a break and come back with Gresham hitting Moose in the ribs, allowing Gresham and Aldis to start working on the arm. Moose powers Gresham away though and it’s Swann coming back in for a rolling splash. It’s back to Moose for a heck of a whip into the corner to leave Gresham grabbing his chest, followed by a near chop to tag Swann back in.

A quick taunt of Aldis is enough for Gresham to be pulled back into the wrong corner. He slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb though and the diving tag brings in Aldis to pick up the pace. Moose gets dropped so Aldis’ top rope elbow can get two but it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Everything breaks down and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two on Gresham. It’s back to Moose off a blind tag though and a powerbomb finishes Gresham at 13:31.

Rating: B-. This was a nice preview of the 8-4-1 match and that’s all it needed to be. We could be in for some interesting combinations in the match so throwing together a random tag match like this is what makes sense. Aldis continues to look good in his comeback and Swann/Gresham are both capable of doing whatever they need. Moose hasn’t been featured as much recently so this was a nice return to form.

Post match the brawl is on again, with Heath running in to help take Moose out. Aldis and Heath brawl to the floor so Swann loads up a dive, only to get caught by Bully Ray. PCO runs in for the slugout and hits the big dive through the ropes, allowing him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact was in a really weird spot this week as they had two regular shows to build up the next monthly special. That isn’t a ton of time and they more or less opted to just go as fast as they could without going too in-depth with much of anything. Instead they had two good matches and some other stuff in the middle that worked out well enough. Tomorrow’s card has potential and I could go for seeing what they have in store. Things can get back to normal next week, and if the last few weeks are any indication, we should be in for a very nice build to Slammiversary.

Results
Chris Bey b. Jason Hotch – Rollup
Heath b. Champagne Singh – Wake Up Call
Joe Hendry b. Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Big boot/spinebuster combination to Rush
Trey Miguel b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Lightning Spiral
Moose/Rich Swann b. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis – Powerbomb to Gresham

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 25, 2023: Siege Works

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 25, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for Under Siege and the card is mostly set. There is still some tightening up that could be done for most of the show and that is where this week can come into play. Other than that, it might be time to start setting things up for the next big show after Under Siege so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Sabin vs. Mike Bailey

Sabin blocks the kick to start but Bailey jumps over him, allowing Sabin to elbow him in the back. There’s the apron kick to the chest and Bailey is in trouble early. Back in and Sabin takes him down into a double underhook crank on the mat. That’s broken up and Bailey kicks him in the face to take over. More kicks put Sabin down and there’s the running shooting star press for two.

Sabin kicks the arm out and hits a missile dropkick but Bailey is back with more kicks. The standing moonsault knees to Sabin’s chest look to set up the tornado kick but Sabin kicks him back down. Back up and Bailey kicks him to the floor, setting up a kick to the head and a top rope Asai moonsault to drop Sabin again. Bailey kicks him in the head back inside but the Ultimate Weapon takes too long.

Instead Sabin sends him to the apron for a sunset bomb out to the floor (ouch). Back in and Sabin catches him on top again, this time with a release German superplex to send Bailey face first down. A heck of a clothesline sets up the Cradle Shock but Bailey reverses into a cradle for two. Bailey kicks him down hard for two more and now the tornado kick connects. The Ultimate Weapon doesn’t though and Sabin goes classic with a MuscleBuster. The Cradle Shock finishes Bailey at 12:25.

Rating: B+. This was another rather awesome X-Division opener and Bailey almost had me on that reverse of the Cradle Shock. These guys were trading one big move after another and they had a heck of a match as a result. Sabin can get in there against almost anyone and beating Bailey means a lot around here. This was rather awesome stuff and Bailey didn’t get get that annoying. I’m as shocked as you are, but great opener.

Video on Trinity debuting, feeling the love from the crowd, and accepting a match with Gisele Shaw at Under Siege.

Video on PCO vs. Steve Maclin.

Maclin says he has taken out PCO, so PCO won’t get a title shot at Under Siege. He’ll name his own replacement tonight.

Sheldon Jean/Kenny King vs. Decay

Nick Aldis is on commentary. Steve takes Jean down by the neck to start so Jean hands it off to King. That’s fine with Steve, who brings in the rather terrifying Taurus. We take a break and come back with Taurus knocking Jean down and kicking him in the face out of the corner. The reverse Sling Blade allows the tag back to Steve as everything breaks down. Taurus suplexes Steve onto King and then flip dives onto Jean. With Taurus on the floor, King Royal Flushes Steve for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here though it never got into another level. This was about King looking better to get ready for his showdown with Aldis and the win gives him some momentum heading into the match. Other than that, Aldis being all chill on commentary sets a nice tone for him, but he’ll still need to find something to make him more interesting against King.

Post match King talks about Aldis, who says King can’t keep his name out of his mouth. Aldis knows King is trying to make a name for himself at Aldis’ expense, but the reality is that King needs to work his way up from being a little b****. Aldis takes his jacket off but has to deal with Jean, who comes after him on King’s orders. That’s enough to get Aldis in the ring, but King bails while singing his version of Annie’s Tomorrow.

Rosemary’s hourglass is almost out and Jessicka is panicking.

Jessicka vs. Taylor Wilde

KiLynn King is here with Wilde, who starts fast by knocking Jessicka down. A running basement DDT sets up a fisherman’s neckbreaker (the Witch’s Wrath) to finish Jessicka at 39 seconds.

Post match the beatdown is on and we see the hourglass running out. Cue a pair of red Chuck Taylor’s….and Courtney Rush (Rosemary before she was Rosemary) is here. Ruse comes in and cleans house, leaving the Coven to run off. Jessicka is thrilled to have Rush here and hugging ensues.

Post break Jessicka isn’t sure what the deal with Rush is, but Rush says she is kind of Rosemary but not really, as it’s kind of a possession sort of thing. Since she is here though, there is an adventure to go on, with Jessicka being invited along for the ride.

Angels vs. Rich Swann

The rest of the Design and Sami Callihan are here too. Swann bounces out of a wristlock to start and takes Angels down without much trouble. A hard kick drops Angels fast but he sends Swann to the floor, setting up a catapult into the post. Back in and a powerslam cuts Swann off again but he’s right back with some kicks to the face. A neckbreaker drops Angels again and there’s the step over kick to the face to make it worse.

Angels catches him on the middle rope and kicks the legs out to take over again. Swann ducks a kick to the head and scores with a dropkick, only to have a cartwheel moonsault hit raised knees. Angels sends him outside for a dive, followed by a frog splash for two back inside. That’s enough for Swann, who catches him on top and snaps off a hurricanrana. The middle rope 450 finishes for Swann at 6:56.

Rating: C+. Angels is pretty easily the best in-ring star of the Design but that isn’t exactly the hardest field to overcome. The war against Callihan continues, but there is only so much to get out of this story as it somehow keeps going. I’m almost scared to see who is going to team with Callihan and Swann tomorrow, but hopefully it isn’t someone with too much value being sunk into this thing.

Post match the Design comes in so Callihan tries to make the save. The baseball bat shots knock the good guys down.

Deonna Purrazzo isn’t worried about Jordynne Grace but Alisha Edwards comes in. Edwards talks about that Grace is going to show her true colors but Purrazzo isn’t convinced.

Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich have a big brawl in the back. Slamovich chokes her out.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jordynne Grace

Eddie Edwards is here with Alisha. Grace gets shoved in the face to start and Alisha chops her, earning a laugh. Another slap is countered into Dalton Castle’s Bang A Rang, setting up the Grace Driver (Alisha landed HARD) for the pin at 46 seconds.

We get an explanation from Dirty Dango of why he attacked Santino Marella. Dango explains that he grew up watching the Attitude Era and he doesn’t like people walking around talking about how happy they are to be here. No he doesn’t have to worry about walking on eggshells because he makes money outside of wrestling. When he broke in, it was about talking in the locker room and what you did rather than looking at your phones.

People cared about the crowd reactions rather than their social media. No he isn’t worried about people hitting him in the face, but he might get a tweet. As for attacking Santino, it’s because the Cobra was a big deal in 2010 and Santino is stuck doing the same things over and over. Joe Hendry is just another stooge and it would be ironic and funny if Dango won the toy title. So he’s Jim Cornette’s complaints about modern wrestling?

Video on the six way #1 contenders match at Under Siege.

Chris Bey vs. John Skyler

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and Jason Hotch are ringside. Bey snaps off a hurricanrana to start and hits a double stomp to the back. Skyler is sent outside and ducks the dive, allowing his friends to offer a distraction. One heck of a clothesline takes Bey down and we take a break. Back with Skyler grabbing a chinlock but Bey is up in a hurry. The running elbow hits Skyler in the corner but a middle rope elbow misses for Bey. We get a series of standing switches as Hotch offers a distraction. With that not working, Bey dropkicks Myers down and the Art of Finesse finishes Skyler at 9:17.

Rating: C+. Another nice match between talented guys. The Good Hands have wound up being a perfectly nice team and a cool addition to the division. That being said, the Bullet Club has gone from just another team to maybe the best in the company today (yes including the Guns). I could go for those guys holding the titles for a long time, as this worked rather well, with skilled tag wrestlers getting to show their solo skills for a change.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Steve Maclin to name his replacement World Title challenger for tomorrow night. Maclin declares PCO dead so here is his new opponent: Champagne Singh! Cue Singh, with Shera, to say it’s time he finished his story. He has a list of people to thank and it’s probably hundreds of names long. Instead here is Scott D’Amore to interrupt, with Singh saying we should get a contract out here right now.

D’Amore says nah on the match so Maclin yells about this being unfair. D’Amore says he wants the best wrestler in the world to be the World Champion and that might be Maclin. Then Maclin tries to do something like this and the title is disrespected. D’Amore wants to bury this right now. If Maclin retains at Under Siege, D’Amore will shake his hand and apology, even handing Maclin the title. That doesn’t work for the champ, who tells D’Amore to leave and show him the respect that he deserves.

The title makes Maclin D’Amore’s boss, and he wants D’Amore to strap the title around him if he wins at Under Siege. That works for D’Amore, but Maclin still wants to know the replacement. D’Amore hasn’t named a replacement, because THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT. Actually, he’s here tonight and cue PCO so the fight can be on. Maclin bails as the lackeys are beaten up to end the show. This was a long segment to set up the D’Amore stipulation and nothing else, as otherwise we’re right back where we started coming into this show.

Overall Rating: B-. Under Siege is looking good and this show helped boost it up even more. What mattered here was making me care about the big show a bit more and they accomplished their goal. The opener was good and the segments worked well enough, though the women’s matches not even breaking 90 seconds total was rather strange. As usual, the show knows what it needs to do and then goes out to do it, which is harder than it seems. Good show here, with the more important show hopefully following suit.

Results
Chris Sabin b. Mike Bailey – Cradle Shock
Kenny King/Sheldon Jean b. Decay – Royal Flush to Crazzy Steve
Taylor Wilde b. Jessicka – Witch’s Wrath
Rich Swann b. Alan Angels – Middle rope 450
Jordynne Grace b. Alisha Edwards – Grace Driver
Chris Bey b. John Skyler – Art Of Finesse

 

 

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