Joey Janela’s Spring Break 7: Yes, But Not Quite

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 7
Date: March 31, 2023
Location: Ukranian Cultural Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Lenny Leonard, Veda Scott

This is the show where you just get to have fun and that is one of the best possible options. With this show, you’re going to see some insanity, some surprises and probably a lot of carnage, which should make for an entertaining night. It’s almost always a fun show and now we get the Los Angles version. Let’s get to it.

Gringo Loco vs. Shane Mercer vs. Tony Deppen vs. Cole Radrick vs. Komander vs. Billie Starkz vs. Blake Christian vs. Alec Price vs. Jack Cartwheel

It’s a Grab The Brass Ring DLC (Doors Ladders and Chairs, winner gets a future title shot of their choice) ladder match, which is at least a step above a scramble (I think). Christian comes out after the introductions and seems to be adding himself to the lineup. Then they call it a ladder match but also a scramble, as apparently the ceiling is too high to put up an actual brass ring so it will be pin or submission. That’s…..a way to go.

Deppen gets in the rather large Mercer’s face to start and the big brawl is on with most of them heading outside. Loco hits a springboard double armdrag on Deppen and Christian. Komander comes in and we get a showdown with Loco, who is hurricanranaed out to the floor. It’s Mercer taking Loco’s place with a backbreaker before Cartwheel is back in to pick up the pace. Cartwheel hits the big flip dive to the floor but Price comes in to clean a few rooms.

Mercer isn’t having that and throws Price over the top to send him outside. Loco is in with some chairs to Mercer’s head, followed by a top rope Canadian Destroyer. The first ladder is brought in as Christian gets to take Deppen down so he can ride the ladder down onto him. Loco is back in with a piledriver to Christian before bringing in a giant ladder. Starkz is back in to kick Loco in the head before going up top with Price.

That goes badly for Starkz, who gets put on and driven through a table for two. Deppen climbs the big ladder but another big ladder is bridged into it. Everyone comes crashing down and Cartwheel dives over the top to put Radrick through another door. Mercer takes Cartwheel up a ladder and hits a moonsault World’s Strongest Slam for two, with Loco using a chair to make the save.

Another door breaks rather quickly and the fans are NOT pleased. Mercer is laid on a door and it’s Loco going up the ladder, with Price on the bridged ladder to meet him (while Komander chills on the top turnbuckle). Price opts to dive on some people, followed by Komander walking the ropes to take out more people. Loco’s flip dive takes out Mercer and Starkz clears out a bunch of the weapons. Radrick comes back in and gets caught with a running forearm in the corner. Starkz plants Radrick but Christian comes in with a Stomp to pin Starkz at 14:07.

Rating: B-. The rules and setup were a little weird but at least they had the more interesting person win. Christian was announced as one of the more controversial/hated stars in the company so giving him the title match is a good idea. It was a pretty wild match, though cutting out two or three people (at least) would have helped.

Video on the Motor City Machine Guns vs. the East West Connection for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. East West Express

The Express (Jordan Oliver/Nick Wayne) is challenging and the Guns jump them to start with the fight heading outside. Sabin goes after Wayne’s face, which was cut open badly in a match earlier today. The Express gets back in and hits stereo dives though, even as Wayne’s face is bleeding again.

Back in and Sabin gets caught with running boots in the corner but Shelley comes in for the save. Shelly sends the Express into the corner for a hesitation dropkick. The Guns get violent by tying the Express together and pulling on both of them at once. Oliver fights up and hits a running clothesline to Sabin, allowing Wayne to come in off the tag. Sabin is back up with a running boot to cut Wayne off in the corner but he sticks the landing out of a sunset bomb.

Everything breaks down again and Shelly Shell Shocks Wayne for two. The Border City Stretch has Wayne in more trouble and Sabin grabs a Texas Cloverleaf on Oliver. Both of them are broken up so the Guns hit Oliver with the Dream Sequence. Sabin kicks Shelly by mistake to send him to the floor, leaving Sabin to get Stunned into a German suplex. The corner cutter gets two on Sabin and a double cutter out of the corner gets a double two. Another double cutter hits Sabin for the pin and the titles at 12:28.

Rating: B-. It was an energetic match and the title change felt like a big deal, but the ending was a little flat. They just kept hitting the same move until it got a pin, which isn’t exactly a hot ending to a match. The Express winning the titles is a big deal and it’s cool to see the Guns as heels, but this didn’t quite get to the next level.

Here is DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion (comedy 24/7 title from DDT in Japan) Yoshihiko (a female sex doll) for an interview. She is rather silent about being a champion and her title defense earlier today, but will be back in GCW. Cue Charles Mason, with Parrow, to interrupt. Mason jumps Yoshihiko and says she isn’t real before calling this whole thing dump. He whips out a knife and threatens to cut the throat, but Yoshihiko’s handler makes a save. It’s Jimmy Lloyd, who is going to be forced to watch the destruction….until Yoshihiko fights back and chases off the intelligen….er, heels.

Video on Mike Bailey vs. El Hijo del Vikingo.

Mike Bailey vs. El Hijo del Vikingo

Vikingo’s AAA Mega Title isn’t on the line. Believe it or not, they do trade flips around to start and shake hands once neither can get anywhere. An exchange of kicks doesn’t get anyone very far so Vikingo goes up top, loses his balance, jumps back up and mostly hits a super hurricanrana. Vikingo hits a dive to the floor but Bailey kicks him down and nails a middle rope moonsault to the floor.

Back in and a kick to the back gets two on Vikingo as this is already more grounded than anything I’ve seen Vikingo do. A dragon screw legwhip takes Vikingo down and Bailey does it again out of the corner (oh the irony). The leglock goes on so Vikingo crawls over to the rope for the break. Back up and they trade chops (Bailey’s aren’t as loud due to Vikingo’s chest being covered).

They take turns offering their backs to the other for chops….until Bailey kicks him instead. Vikingo is back with some running knees to send Bailey outside, where the shooting star from the apron connects. Back in and the middle rope Phoenix splash gives Vikingo two and Bailey is outside again. The slide takes too long though and Bailey is back up for a top rope moonsault.

Back in and Bailey kicks him down for two but the tornado kick misses. Vikingo’s imploding dragon rana only mostly works and they head to the apron for the exchange of kicks to the chest. Vikingo gets the better of things and climbs to the post, setting up a crazy Canadian Destroyer onto the apron to leave them both on the floor. Back up and Bailey blocks a shooting star with raised knees, setting up a floatover fisherman’s superplex for two (that was cool). Bailey’s Flamingo Driver is blocked though and Vikingo takes him up top for a super swinging Rock Bottom. That sets up the 630 to finish Bailey at 16:57.

Rating: B. This was what you would expect from these two as they were doing all of the crazy flips and dives, though in this case they did slow down a bit between some of the spots. Bailey going after the leg made sense, but ironically enough, Bailey’s opponent didn’t bother to sell the knee for once. It was entertaining, as Vikingo’s monster weekend continues.

Post match money is thrown into the ring and they put it into Vikingo’s helmet to split up later.

Bussy vs. Maki Death Kill

That would be Effy/Allie Katch vs. Nick Gage/Maki Itoh and….egads I have no idea what this is going to be like. As you might expect, the fans go nuts for Gage. The women start things off with a lot of posing and yell at each other a bit but then we have to stop for some Itoh posing. Allie isn’t having that and poses as well, though hers is a bit more suggestive compared to Itoh’s cute stuff.

That’s enough for Allie, who kicks her in the ribs but gets taken down. A falling headbutt is enough for Allie to bring Gage in to face Effy. They have some problems with a leapfrog so Effy drops to his knees. That means he has to slip out of a piledriver attempt so Gage slams him instead. A splash puts Gage down and it’s Allie coming back in to send Gage into the corner. Gage neckbreakers his way out of trouble and hits a suplex, allowing a somewhat reluctant tag to Itoh.

Some horrible right hands in the corner stagger Effy but a tornado DDT works a bit better. Gage whips out the pizza cutter so Allie, who has stolen his bandanna, wraps a chair around his head and sends it into the post. Effy uses the pizza cutter to carve up Itoh’s head and Allie gets in some carving of her own as the violence begins. Gage is back in with a DDT to Allie and a spinebuster to Effy. With Itoh safe…..Gage pulls out a SPECIAL pizza cutter, complete with a bow tie that matches Itoh’s gear.

Bussy both get cut at the same time (via split screen) and Effy is rather busted open. Back up and Allie and Gage hit stereo piledrivers to give us a bit showdown. The chokebreaker gives Gage two but Effy is back in. That earns him a chair shot from Itoh but Effy chairs both of them down. Itoh is so upset that she is about to cry, but flips Allie off for trying to kiss her better. That has Allie crying much harder until Gage is back up. Gage hits something like a One Winged Angel on Allie and Itoh’s diving DDT are good or double pins at 16:11.

Rating: C. It’s Nick Gage so this is only going to be so good in the first place. Save for the pizza cutter, they didn’t get too nuts with the violence, but it was still hard to sit through some of this stuff. Itoh’s gimmick is all around cuteness and that worked well enough, though it was nowhere near as over the top as she was in AEW. Bussy has been around all weekend and while Effy is hard to take at times, he was far less annoying here. Katch is always worth a look so this was a very weird mixture that could have been a lot worse.

Post match Gage and Itoh hit the catchphrase but Matt Cardona (in a Cody Rhodes jacket) and Steph De Lander run in with chairs to beat them down. Cardona calls it BS that they aren’t booked on this show or Wrestlemania. They both mock Gage and Itoh but here is World Champion Masha Slamovich to interrupt. Gage is up to take out Cardona and they fight to the back, so let’s do the impromptu World Title thing.

GCW World Title: Steph De Lander vs. Masha Slamovich

De Lander is in street clothes and challenging. Slamovich starts fast and hammers away but gets knocked hard into the corner. A suplex gives De Lander two but Slamovich gets in a kick to the head. It’s time for a really big door and some chairs, with Slamovich being dropped down onto the latter. Slamovich is fine enough to Air Raid Crash her through the door but here is Cardona to jump Slamovich. Gage and Itoh run in to break up a chair shot to Slamovich and Itoh hits some Reboots on Cardona in the corner. Slamovich chokes De Lander out to retain at 6:23.

Rating: C. This was rather quick and to the point, which is what something set up this way had to be. There is only do much that De Lander can do in street clothes and it more of a “hey we’re here too” deal than anything else. Slamovich hasn’t been champion long so getting her some title defenses piled up isn’t a bad idea. The match was a bit of a mess but it got out before it went too far.

Joey Janela vs. Kota Ibushi

This is Ibushi’s second match since 2021 due to an injury. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat with Ibushi taking over. Janela grabs a headscissors but has to duck a big kick. Back up and Ibushi dropkicks him to the floor but won’t dive out there too. Janela chops away back inside, with Ibushi telling him to chop harder.

With that not working, Janela slaps on a figure four neck lock until the rope is reached. A hurricanrana sends Janela to the floor and now the springboard moonsault takes him down. Back in and a rolling suplex gives Ibushi two but Janela superplexes him down for a crash. They slug it out on the apron with Janela getting dropped hard to bust him open.

The slugout goes to Janela, who manages a DDT on the apron. Janela takes a good while bridging some doors over some chairs at ringside and Ibushi is back up. What looks to be a German superplex through the table is more a fall through them and Janela is mostly done. Back in and Janela snaps off a Death Valley Driver and then does it again for one.

Another slugout goes to Janela and the rather bloody Janela snaps off a German suplex. Then Ibushi gets his own German suplex, followed by the double clothesline for the double knockdown. Back up and they slap it out until Janela plants him with the package piledriver for two. A bunch of superkicks rock Ibushi but he’s back with a pair of running knees for the pin at 24:19.

Rating: B. This was a weird one as it went from just an ok match to a hard hitting bloodbath. Ibushi isn’t about to lose in his first regular match back (after his first was in Bloodsport) so this was more of a big homecoming. Janela still isn’t exactly great in the ring, but he knows how to put in a match like this and make it work well. Solid main event.

Respect is shown post match. Janela gets the mic and talks about the things that have been going on in recent years. He finally got his first contract with AEW but everything fell apart. He wasn’t sure what he was doing and he had to watch his ex-girlfriend be with someone else. After saying he’s cool with Penelope Ford and Kip Sabian, Janela talks about Kota Ibushi deciding to stay away from WWE and AEW. Janela calls him the embodiment of Japanese wrestling and hugs him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’m not sure what to think of this one as it was much more a regular show and a good one, but I was expecting something more in the way of over the top. There was a ladder match, a Nick Gage match (take that for what you will) and the rest is straight wrestling. It’s more or less a GCW show and while it’s good (very good actually), it’s not exactly what I was expecting. Heck of a show, though not in the show’s traditional sense.

 

 

 

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The WRLD On GCW: They’ve Been Watching Too Much ECW

The Wrld On GCW
Date: January 23, 2022
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kendall Gill
Hosts: Lenny Leonard, Pollo del Mar

Every now and then a show catches my attention and I’ll add it to the schedule. That is the case here, as GCW has become the hottest indy around at the moment and I’m going to give it a shot. I am absolutely not a fan of the deathmatch stuff, but apparently that kind of wrestling is not allowed in New York so we get a bit of a reprieve here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely follow GCW so I am not going to know much in the way of storylines or characters so please bear with me if I miss something.

Kickoff Show: Blue Ribbon Battle Royal

Psycho Clown, Dark Sheik, Cole Radrick, Parrow, Hoodfoot, Ruckus, Charles Mason, KTB, Juicy Finau, Steve Scott, Nate Webb, Big Vin, Brandon Kirk, Janai Kai, Dustin Thomas, Marcus Mathers, Yoya, B-Boy, Lufisto, Thunder Rosa

Clown jumps Parrow before most of the entrances have taken place and we’re starting fast. The huge Parrow fights him off but Sheik hits a pretty awesome looking jump up to his shoulders into a double stomp to the chest (kind of like Cameron Grimes’ Cave In). Sheik isn’t done and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Radrick. Back up and Radrick runs Sheik over as more people come in (Are these entrances timed? That hasn’t been mentioned.), giving us Parrow vs. Ruckus.

Entrants keep coming in one at a time but with maybe fifteen seconds in between, making me wonder why they started so fast. Scott (I think? Commentary is too busy to say who these people are.) is clotheslined out as Big Vin takes his place. Vin grabs Sheik from the apron and backflips in for a World’s Strongest Slam (that’s a new one) before having a big hug with Finau.

The ring (which isn’t very big in the first place) is WAY too full here as Kirk is tossed. Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) comes in and hits a tornado DDT on KTB. Mathers and Yoya are in as Radrick is out in a hurry (and actually gets named). Mason (in a suit) is in next as this is just a free for all of people hitting one move after another with nothing close to coherence.

Now it’s B-Boy coming in as Clown hits a superbomb on Mason. Mathers (I think) is out with Sheik and KTB following him. Lufisto makes a big surprise return and there go Clown and Thomas. Thunder Rosa is the big surprise and final entrant so we look at her beating up Parrow in the corner while everyone else brawls.

Lufisto gets rid of Webb and B-Boy and we’re down to Lufisto, Parrow, Rosa, Mason and Vin. Rosa hurricanranas Parrow out and the women beat up Mason in the corner. Vin gets beaten down in an opposite corner until Rosa and Lufisto slug it out. Mason sneaks up and tosses Rosa but Lufisto suplexes both of them. Vin puts Lufisto on the apron and Mason drives Vin into her for the elimination. A low bridge sends Vin to the apron but he chokeslams Mason out for the win at 16:04.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a good start to the night as I’m still not sure who all was in the match. Commentary didn’t do a good job of explaining what was going on and the camera work made it even harder to keep track of the whole thing. I’m not quite thrilled with where things are going from here, but hopefully we get something a little easier to follow going forward.

Kickoff Show: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Zayne vs. Grim Reefer vs. Shane Mercer vs. Ninja Mack vs. Dante Leon

No tags and one fall to a finish. Zayne is billed as The Sauce and from the nearest Taco Bell. The fact that he is from Lexington makes it even better. Mercer starts fast with a pop up powerslam on Reefer (that looked good) and there’s a big flip dive to drop some people on the floor. Cartwheel and Mack hit their stereo running flip dives to the floor, followed by dives from Zayne and Leon.

Reefer goes up, lights one up, and hits a big springboard flip dive to drop the pile. Back in and Mack punches away at Reefer before hitting the People’s Moonsault. Leon comes in for a cutter on Mack but gets powerslammed by Mercer. A super fireman’s carry flapjack drops Leon but Zayne clears the ring. Cartwheel takes him down for a slingshot hilo but Mercer is back up with a gorilla press drop.

Reefer kicks Mercer down and spins him into a Crossface with Leon making the save. Leon’s big cutter hits Reefer but Mercer plants Mack with a super backflip World’s Strongest Slam. Zayne is held in the ropes for a shooting star press from Cartwheel, driving Zayne into the apron. A chair is brought in but Reefer counters Mercer’s….something into a DDT onto the chair for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C+. This was slightly easier to follow than the opener but that isn’t saying much. The thing to remember about a match like this is that it is all about getting your stuff in with nothing resembling a story being told. The match may be fun, but this is all about setting things up for the real card. Not exactly good, but a lot of fun and rather exciting, as is kind of the point.

Owner Brett Lauderdale comes out to hype up the crowd and talks about how hard it has been to get here. They were ready to take over the world but then the pandemic hit. He was told that a million GCW’s have come and gone but now they are here with the roster to make it work.

We get the entrances for the opener, which will start when the show goes on the air. This company has some AEW influences.

The opening video, which is rather quiet, shows a bunch of wrestlers in the empty building with their voiceovers talking about how they have no business at this level. Now they’re here to prove that they belong. Right on point here.

AJ Gray vs. PCO vs. Alex Colon vs. G-Raver vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Ladder match, with the winner getting any title match they want at any time. AJ Gray is a surprise entrant as his scheduled opponent, Eddie Kingston, is out with an injury. They start fast (I’m not sure I heard a bell) with Deppen hitting a springboard dropkick to drive the ladder into Lloyd and Oliver.

Gray buckle bombs Deppen into the ladder in the corner and blasts him with a lariat before going up. His ladder is WAY too short though, meaning G-Raver does him a favor by throwing a ladder at Gray’s ladder for the save. PCO comes in, allowing Colon to lift up G-Raver for a Doomsday Device, albeit with a ladder shot instead of a clothesline to make it even worse. Colon hits PCO in the face with the ladder but Oliver dropkicks the ladder down to break up the double climb.

Oliver kicks Lloyd in the face and hits a dive to the floor. PCO hits his own running flip dive through the ropes. Deppen adds a double springboard flip dive to take out everyone, sending them walking up the aisle. As luck would have it, Gray is ready with his own running flip dive off the stage at the exact same time. PCO chairs Gray down and moonsaults off the top onto the big pile again.

That means PCO can climb, but he’s actually smart enough to drop down and beat up anyone trying to make a save. Deppen brings in a bigger ladder and bites PCO on the face but Jordan Oliver is there to cut him off. Lloyd breaks that up too but gets kicked down by Oliver. PCO chokeslams Oliver off of the ladder though and there’s a package piledriver onto the ladder to make it worse.

G-Raver and Colon break that up, with Raven putting Colon onto two chairs with a ladder over his back. Raver goes up, shoves the ring out of the way, and drops down onto the ladder onto Colon. Well that was dumb. Lloyd gives Raver a running Razor’s Edge over the top and onto a big pile of stuff on the floor. Gray goes up on a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring, only to crash hard onto another ladder (the fact that I’m not sure who he was aiming for is a bad sign). Cue John Wayne Murdoch to take out Colon on the floor, leaving Gray to take the ring down at 15:11.

Rating: C-. The spots were good, but this was a very indy style ladder match, which is not meant as a compliment. There was too much going on between all of the people and it didn’t work so well. At the same time, you had a person shoving the ring out of the way to hurt someone else. That’s about as bad of a level of ladder match logic as you’ll find, making this quite the mess.

Gringo Loco/Demonic Flamita/Arez vs. Bandido/ASF/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules (duh) and it’s Arez starting with Kid. The trade early misses until Kid’s hurricanrana is easily blocked. An armdrag sends Kid outside so it’s Bandido coming in for Three Amigos. That means the Eddie dance as it’s a headscissors to send Arez outside. Loco comes in to hammer on Bandido, who is sent outside so ASF can come in. A wristdrag sends ASF outside for a change and it’s Flamita coming in to take his place.

The 619 in the corner looks to set up something off the top but Flamita flips off the crowd and drops down to flip the fans off instead. ASF is left alone in the corner, with Flamita and Arez hitting stereo moonsaults to the floor (that was sweet). Bandido and Kid get caught in stereo surfboards on the floor for the big running flip dive from Loco. ASF is sent outside as well, only to get launched over the top for the crash back inside (cool).

Flamita follows him back in for two, with ASF climbing Flamita to armdrag Loco. Bandido’s team is back in with stereo superkicks into stereo headscissors to the floor. The not quite stereo dives take out Loco and company but ASF and Kid miss missile dropkicks back inside. Flamita and Bandido are left alone for a big staredown, with Flamita kicking him down and hitting a huge frog splash.

ASF hits a 450 but Arez makes a save of his own. A dropkick breaks up Arez’s cover and a Death Valley Driver gets two on Flamita. It’s Bandido vs. Loco for a strike off until Bandido hits a heck of a tornado DDT. Back up and Bandido and Loco grab double electric chairs (as in Arez is on Flamita’s shoulders on Loco’s shoulders while ASF is on Kid’s shoulders on Bandido’s shoulders), leaving ASF and Arez to slug it out rather high in the air.

ASF snaps off a Canadian Destroyer (egads man) while Loco and Bandido hit powerbombs on the other two. Loco catches a charging Bandido in a Spanish Fly and everyone is down. Back up and Bandido LAUNCHES ASF over the top and into a hurricanrana on Loco. Flamita hits a dive, then Bandido hits a dive, then Kid Spanish Flies Arez off the top onto the pile. ASF and Loco seem to load up a super Canadian Destroyer but can’t get the timing right, leaving Loco to hit a regular piledriver for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: A-. The double electric chair was good enough to make this about as fun as it could have been and the rest was a bunch of insanity that you can only get in a match like this one. This kind of a match is designed to have a bunch of people flying around with one crazy spot after another and they made it work like only they can here. Bandido’s awesomeness has long since been established and it was on full display again with this one. Check this out, which you should always do with something involving these people.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary.

Ring of Honor World Title: Blake Christian vs. Jonathan Gresham

Christian is challenging…or at least he would be if Gresham was here but we need to make a last second change. Worry not though, because we have a replacement.

Blake Christian vs. Lio Rush

Rush offers a handshake but Christian looks at him instead. They do shake left hands though and it’s an armdrag to take Rush down. Back up and Christian offers a handshake, which allows him to sunset flip Rush for two. Rush bails to the floor for a breather before heading back inside to avoid some charges.

Christian heads outside, only to pull Rush outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster gives Christian two, setting up a roll into a crucifix hold. That’s broken up and Christian misses a charge into the corner, allowing Rush to hit a spear for two. Christian is fine enough to catch him with a kick to the face on top but Rush kicks him down.

A ripcord Spanish fly drops Rush again though and a springboard 450 gives Christian two. Rush is right back with a twisting DDT and the Final Hour gets two more. They go to the apron where Rush can’t hit a German suplex to the floor. Instead they drop down, with Christian hitting a Tombstone. Back in and a 450 double stomp finishes Rush at 12:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them do their thing for about twelve minutes, which is all you needed to do here. Christian gets the win to keep him strong until he can get his title shot. Gresham being gone is rough to see but having someone like Rush as the backup worked as well as anything else. Good match, but they weren’t about to follow that six man.

We recap Matt Cardona vs. Joey Janela. Cardona married Chelsea Green but Janela faked some pictures of the two of them by a pool together, sending Cardona over the edge. The interesting thing is that Cardona is the huge heel who is mocking all things indy and trying to turn it into WWE. This has been one of the better things going on the independent scene and Cardona has had one awesome stunt after another.

The IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT sign is a great touch.

Joey Janela vs. Matt Cardona

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona….who comes out to Enter Sandman entrance (or at least a cover), turning the crowd completely upside down in about three seconds. The “IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT” shirt is an even greater touch. He also has a red flannel shirt with f*** Mick Foley on the back, while Green (with the Internet Title) is in the Zack Ryder half trunks/half tights. Cardona asks what’s up GCW Universe and takes credit for the sellout. Joey Janela didn’t do it, so tonight he’s ending Janela’s career before Tony Khan can fire him.

Cardona jumps him at the bell for two and flips off the fans. The fans get in a “F*** CARDONA/WOO WOO WOO!” chant so Janela hits a Death Valley Driver through the door. The suicide dive takes out Cardona on the floor and it is time for Janela to chair him down. A top rope flip dive sends Janela crashing through the chair though and Cardona gets to chair him down. Green pulls the chair away though and kicks Cardona low for a big surprise.

Janela goes up, only to get crotched by Green because it was a ruse. Cardona shows off the cup he was wearing but Janela is fine enough to hit a superplex to put them both down. Janela grabs the title, but here is Smart Mark Sterling (of AEW fame) to say that if Janela uses the title, he’s disqualified. Commentary: “But it’s GCW!” He brings out someone who is very influential in Cardona’s career, so here is someone in a Vince McMahon mask. It’s Vincent/Virgil though, and the distraction lets Sterling grab Janela.

The belt shot takes Sterling down by mistake though and a Death Valley Driver sends Cardona into the ring frame. Cue Swoggle to post Janela but here is a huge guy named Sam Stackhouse to take Swoggle out. Now it’s Marko Stunt to throw a chair at Swoggle’s head but Cardona takes him down as well. Janela brings in a pair of doors, with Swoggle and Cardona being put through one each.

Green hits Stunt with the belt and gives him a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cardona to AA Janela through an open chair for a near fall. Cardona loads up two doors, which really does take too long so Janela takes him out. Green’s latest interference earns herself a piledriver so here is a guy in a motorcycle helmet. That would be Brian Myers, who decks Janela and helps Cardona hit a middle rope Radio Silence through the door for the pin at 19:39.

Rating: B-. It was a bit long, but this was a lot of fun with Cardona playing a perfect troll. Cardona knows how to make these people nuts by doing everything they don’t like and now he gets to take out another one of their heroes. The big flaw here is that the match went too long and you could have cut out a good portion in the middle which was more about several other people other than Janela vs. Cardona. This was all about Cardona putting together something else to get people to care about him though, as he continues to be one of the more creative people in wrestling.

Post match Sean Waltman of all people comes in and takes out Cardona before posing with Janela. I’m sold on getting to hear The Kings again.

Here is the injured Mance Warner for a chat. He talks about how awesome GCW’s locker room and entire crew is and thanks the fans for getting them here. Cue Atticus Cougar (pronounced Co-Gar) to say 44OH are the real outlaws around here. Cougar doesn’t like Warner’s Second Gear Crew so Warner is ready to fight.

44OH comes in for the beatdown, with Matthew Justice (Warner’s partner) coming in for the failed save attempt. The lights go off (BECAUSE WRESTLING!) and it’s Bill Alfonso and Sabu making the save. Chairs to the head put 44OH down and we actually get a pin, with Fonzie counting. Pantera’s Walk plays because ECW.

Video on Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho. Katch talks about divine destiny, meaning that if something is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what. That seems to be the case with this match, as she runs into SOHO painted on a wall. Katch was billed as a big deal during Brett Lauderdale’s pre-show speech so she means something. I don’t remember her being much more than someone who did cat-esque things as Allie Kat but maybe things have changed.

Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho

They shake hands to start and Soho armdrags her down early on. The threat of the Riott Kick is blocked early on but so is Katch’s piledriver. That’s fine with Allie, who hits a basement dropkick for an early two. Soho is sent into the corner and it’s a running hip attack into a Cannonball for two more.

They trade kicks to the face with Soho getting rocked, only to be able to come back with a German suplex for the double knockdown. Katch takes too long going up top though and gets armdragged back down for a quick two. The Riott Kick connects for two on Katch but she’s right back with a knee into the piledriver for two of her own. With that not working, Katch loads up a super piledriver, which is countered into a Riott Kick from the middle rope to give Soho the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C. I’d hope that Katch can do more than this as it felt like any other match. This came off like a match where a star was making a guest appearance in the territory with the story of the popular star getting a shot. It wasn’t bad, but there was absolutely nothing special to this and it just came and went.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy. Jarrett doesn’t like GCW calling themselves outlaws because he is the Last Outlaw. There has to be a huge stable out there of people who have been THE LAST OUTLAW. There have also been guitar shots to show you how serious this has been.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy

Effy pulls $20 out of his trunks, which the referee throws to the floor. They go with the basics to start, with Jarrett powering him into the corner. Effy’s spins to get out of a wristlock don’t work so Effy drops to his knee, which freaks Jeff out for a bit. Some shots to the ribs set up a modified Tarantula but Jarrett is back with a clothesline. They head outside with Jarrett whipping him with the belt (which seems to draw a DADDY LIKES IT chant).

Back in and it’s time for more whipping and choking, which seems to make Effy smile. Jarrett uses the belt to tie Effy in the corner, which doesn’t exactly last long. Effy is back with more rights and lefts, setting up a faceplant for two. Now it’s Effy getting to whip away but he misses a Blockbuster. The guitar takes too long for Jarrett though so Effy pulls off his fishnets for some choking. That’s too much for Jarrett, who hits him with the guitar and grabs the Stroke for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: D+. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Effy and I’m going to assume that a lot of it is due to his promos and character work, because he wasn’t doing much in the ring here. All he had was a bunch of punches and a missed Blockbuster, which isn’t exactly stealing the show. That being said, Jarrett winning is a good bit weird, as he is the second outsider in a row to beat a signature GCW name on their biggest night ever. Not a great match, but you can see how much bigger of a star Jarrett is than most of the roster. If nothing else, seeing someone who seems like he knows how to put a match together is almost a rarity around here.

GCW World Title: Homicide vs. Jon Moxley

Homicide is challenging after winning a Rumble last month. The fans chant F*** BULLY RAY to start, which has to make Moxley smile a bit. They forearm/slap it out to start before going face to face. Homicide sends him outside but the dive is cut off with a shot to the face. The fight heads outside with Homicide biting away, only to get sent shoulder first into the post.

Moxley cranks on the fingers and hits a piledriver for two For some reason Moxley goes up but it’s a super cutter to bring him back down. They trade clotheslines until Moxley grabs the Paradigm Shift for two. Moxley hammers away and Homicide seems to lose a tooth. A chair is wedged in the corner but Homicide cuts him off and strikes away. The chair is on the mat and it’s another Paradigm Shift onto said chair to give Moxley two more. Homicide flips him off and bites Moxley’s face, only to get blasted with a lariat. The lifting Paradigm Shift onto the open chair retains Moxley’s title at 11:32.

Rating: C. That’s it? This was so short that I thought I missed part of the match, as I would have bet on it going a good bit longer than Jarrett vs. Effy. Maybe that is the result of ring rust from Moxley, or just time constraints from the pay per view, but this wasn’t exactly great. It worked while it lasted, but it just didn’t last very long.

Video on the Briscoes, who are issuing an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles. Most signs would suggest that this is going to be FTR, but you never know around here.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. ???/???

The Briscoes are defending against….Nick Gage/Matt Tremont. Well you knew Gage would be on here somehow. Gage puts Nick through the door in the corner to start and it’s time for a duel of the chairs. Mark and Nick trade pieces of door shots to the head but Jay breaks up the pizza cutter. Tremont gets beaten down and the Froggy Bow onto a door gets two on Gage. Back up and Tremont hits a release Rock Bottom to plant Jay and Gage hits a middle rope piledriver on Mark. The chokebreaker gives Gage the pin and the titles at 5:35.

Rating: D. That was a Nick Gage match alright, but this time he had a huge partner to do some really basic stuff too. I know why Gage had to be on the show but it isn’t like his matches are much to see. It’s the feel good moment of the show, though having it come in a five minute match didn’t do the show many favors.

Post match Gage swears a lot and puts over his gang while bragging about how far GCW came. The locker room comes in to celebrate and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. One of the shows you are probably going to see this compared to is Barely Legal. While it is nowhere near that important (or good), there is one thing that does stand out. My biggest issue with Barely Legal was the lack of an explanation of why Sabu and Taz hated each other. It was the “Grudge Match of the Century” but we were never told why they were fighting. The ECW fans knew, but Barely Legal wasn’t just a show for the ECW fans.

Now do that for three hours and you have this show. There was barely anything explaining who these people were, what they were doing here, why they were fighting or ANYTHING about them. Cardona vs. Janela had a bit of backstory, but this felt like the game plan was “just keep doing what we’ve been doing (minus the deathmatch stuff, which isn’t their fault)”. It was a show that you either got or didn’t get, with GCW not offering much in the way of guidance.

On top of that, the wrestling was hit and miss at best. Everything felt rushed and very little really stood out. The lucha match was great, but you could get one of those a week on Ring of Honor. Cardona is excellent at riffing on independent wrestling, but then he won, just like Soho over what seems to be the big female star around here. This show didn’t do a thing to make me more interested in GCW and as the big debut on the national stage, it was a pretty hard miss.

 

 

 

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