Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

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Superstar Spectacle
Date: January 26, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Shahoz Ali

This is the start of WWE’s latest attempt to make it into India, as we are getting a special (taped in Florida, like everything else) featuring WWE stars in the ring with Indian stars. Eventually we could be seeing an NXT India out of the whole thing so consider this getting the feet wet. Let’s get to it.

This is being broadcast on television in India so there will be some commercials included despite it being a Network special. It is airing on Republic Day, which is the anniversary of the day India became a republic (seems like something similar to (I’m aware it’s not the same) the 4^th of July for Americans). Cool.

HHH narrates a video (I know this because we get a Narrated By Triple H graphic) about WWE’s history in India, showing various wrestlers in the country over the years, including footage of Bret Hart with the Winged Eagle belt to show you how far back things go. Various stars of Indian descent talk about what this means to them and now it is time to start a new future. HHH talks over clips of new Indian wrestlers (complete with name graphics as these people are mostly making their debuts) and we’re ready to go.

The fans on the Thunderdome screens are all from India.

We get a video on Guru Raaj, who is a high flier who came from a rough childhood, including being run over by a tractor. Well that’s extreme.

Finn Balor vs. Guru Raaj

Non-title. Balor armbars him down but Raaj snapmares his way to freedom and puts on an armbar of his own. Back up and we hit the standoff so Balor headlocks him down. Raaj is back up with a headlock takeover of his own but this time Balor rolls out and hits a basement dropkick. We take a break and come back with Raaj fighting out of an abdominal stretch. An elbow to the face sets up a backsplash, with Raaj getting up but then remembering he wanted to nip up instead.

Balor takes him into the corner and unloads with stomps before chopping Raaj into another corner. The Sling Blade connects but the shotgun dropkick is countered with an enziguri for two. A bunch of kicks, capped off by a jumping shot to the head, sets up a high crossbody for two. That’s enough for Ali to remember that he’s on commentary and actually say something, but the shotgun dropkick quiets him down all over again. The Coup de Grace into 1916 finishes Raaj at 10:39.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not bad at all. Raaj has not been training long (a year, which is nothing in wrestling) and while he looked a little unsure and rough at times, he certainly did not embarrass himself. There is no shame in losing to a former World Champion so this went as well as could be expected and gives me hope for what we’re going to be seeing.

We get a post match handshake (side note: I’m not sure if it’s the new 8k cameras, but there have been some shots that look like they’re in either a movie or a video game and they’re messing me up every single time).

We meet Giant Zanjeer, who, like many others on this show, was trained by Great Khali. He thinks if he trains hard, he can be champion too.

We meet Dilshar Shanky, who is 7’ tall and wants to do this for his parents.

Rey Mysterio/Giant Zanjeer/Dilsher Shanky/Ricochet vs. Cesaro/King Corbin/Shinsuke Nakamura/Dolph Ziggler

So Nakamura is a heel again (or at least he’s teaming with them) and Ziggler isn’t even in there with his regular partner? Shanky goes 7’ and is the second tallest member of the team, after the 7’2 Zanjeer. Well that should get them noticed somewhere. Ziggler goes for Shanky’s leg to start and is tossed into the corner without much trouble. Nakamura tries a cheap shot and is thrown into the corner for the big running splash. Zanjeer comes in, tosses Corbin onto the pile, and adds a chop. Cesaro thinks better of fighting both giants on his own and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro throwing Mysterio back inside and handing it off to Nakamura, who sends Mysterio into the corner. Corbin gets in a few shots and brings Ziggler back in as they take turns on Ziggler. All of the villains get together to knock the giants and Ricochet to the floor but Rey manages to hurricanrana Corbin into the corner. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Ricochet, who grabs a spinning suplex. The standing shooting star gets two on Ziggler, who is right back with the Zig Zag.

Ricochet slips away and brings in Zanjeer, who cleans house with some big shoulders. Shanky comes back in and drops and elbow for two but gets swarmed by everyone else. Everything breaks down and Zanjeer throws Ricochet onto the pile on the floor. Cesaro dumps Zanjeer to the floor but gets booted in the face by Shanky. That sets up the 619 and the splash off of Shanky’s shoulders lets Rey pin Cesaro at 9:58.

Rating: C+. Again, this worked because they aren’t letting these guys out of their comfort zones. The giants are going to be limited because they’re so big, but they didn’t do anything outside of standard big man stuff. The key to that is the did the basic stuff well, which is WAY better than trying something complicated and screwing it up. They got in, did their stuff well, and got out to let the veterans do the main work. This went well and the giants looked pretty good at what they were doing.

Rey and Ricochet get on the giants’ shoulders to celebrate.

WWE is working with a charity to help girls get scholarships. Nothing wrong with that.

Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns aren’t happy but wish us a happy Republic Day.

Video on Jeet Rama, whose grandfather was a wrestler and apparently has been with WWE for a good many years without ever making it to television.

AJ Styles vs. Jeet Rama

Omos is here with AJ. Rama is a multiple time national champion in some form of grappling and has some size to him (not a giant, but fairly tall and has some muscle on him). AJ goes for the arm to start but gets taken into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. Rama’s armbar is broken up with a shot to the head and AJ knocks him to the floor for the slingshot forearm.

We take a break and come back with AJ holding a chinlock as Cole says Rama is following in the footsteps of stars like Runjin Singh. Rama gets in a pair of suplexes for two but AJ catches him on top for a drop onto the turnbuckle. It’s too early for the Styles Clash so AJ settles for the Calf Crusher. The hold stays on for a good bit until Rama manages to drive AJ’s head into the mat for the break. Rama gets in a belly to belly but Omos breaks up a belly to belly superplex. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes at 11:42.

Rating: C. You can tell that Rama has a lot more experience and a style that works for him, but the match was only ok. The lack of even a limp after spending that long in the Calf Crusher didn’t help, but Omos interfering to (possibly) save Styles worked. Perfectly watchable match as this show continues to work out well.

Post match, AJ and Omos give Rama some applause.

Video on Indus Sher, who you might remember from a very brief run as a monster team in NXT. One of them was on a popular TV show and the other was a professional baseball player and the subject of the movie Million Dollar Arm.

Big E. and Xavier Woods to introduce a Bollywood dance but here are the Street Profits to help them. The four of them introduce a musical dance troupe for a pretty cool performance. More men and women dance in the ring with the rest of the troupe joining them. This looked rather awesome.

Great Khali, surrounded by I’m assuming his students, says what sounds like something positive.

Charlotte/Sareena Sandhu vs. Bayley/Natalya

Bayley and Sandhu have the same trainer. Charlotte’s gear is in the colors of the Indian flag and she shrugs off Natalya’s wristlock to start. Bayley comes in so Charlotte sends both of them into the corner. It’s off to Sandhu for a double high crossbody and stereo baseball slides put Bayley and Natalya on the floor as we take a break (with Charlotte and Sandhu dancing a bit).

Back with Charlotte suplexing Bayley and hitting the backbreaker into the Downward Spiral into the corner. Sandhu gets two off a butterfly suplex and a small package gets the same on Natalya. Bayley offers a distraction though and Natalya kicks Sandhu to the floor. The leglock has Sandhu in trouble but she reverses into one of her own. That’s enough to bring Bayley in for the save and she knocks Charlotte off the apron for a bonus. Charlotte kicks Bayley in the face but Natalya clotheslines Sandhu down. The Sharpshooter goes on but Charlotte makes the save with Natural Selection, giving Sandhu the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Probably the weakest match of the night but it’s not like it was anything bad. Natalya isn’t going to give up anything by taking a fall here and it gives Sandhu a little credibility. They kept this moving and the match worked out fine enough and it’s ok that Sandhu needed a bit of help to pin Natalya.

Video on Kavita Devi, who had to miss the show due to a family emergency in India. She has been in a few battle royals and the Mae Young Classics and wants to be a role model in India.

Here’s Ric Flair (they really will put him on anything) to say how cool it is to have this many fans from India here and wishes everyone a happy Republic Day.

Jinder Mahal/Bollywood Boyz vs. Drew McIntyre/Indus Sher

McIntyre’s entrance cuts off Mahal’s usual speech. Drew says he’s glad to have Mahal back but you NEVER interrupt Ric Flair. Mahal has a nice three man team but McIntyre has his own three man band of destruction and introduces Indus Sher, who are about McIntyre’s size. McIntyre and Mahal (now mostly bald) start things off but it’s off to Sunil Singh, who hits McIntyre in the face.

That goes very badly for him and it’s off to Rinku for a big elbow. Saurav comes in for a World’s Strongest Slam so Samir comes in to get beaten up as well. Samir is tossed over the top and onto Sunil and it’s the good guys clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Samir slipping over Rinku’s back and hammering away before handing it off to Mahal. Rinku goes shoulder first into the post and Sunil gets two off a top rope elbow.

Samir’s armbar doesn’t exactly work so he tries to pull on Rinku’s leg instead. Mahal has some more luck with the armbar but he makes the misatke of going after Saurav, allowing Rinku to get in a shot to the face. The hot tag bring in McIntyre to clean house but a jumping knee cuts off the Claymore. Saurav comes in and wrecks the Boyz, leaving McIntyre to Claymore Mahal. A side slam/middle rope elbow combination (the replay was quite the relief as I had thought it was a horribly missed legdrop) finishes Sunil at 9:04.

Rating: C. They had the more experienced guys in the main event here and that was a good idea as it felt like a better match all around. McIntyre and Mahal having enough of a history worked out well and it means something to have Mahal in there, just due to the success that he had. Perfectly fine main event here and McIntyre being in there makes sense as one of the faces of the company.

A bunch of people and the dance troupe come out to applaud to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’d call this a rather nice success as the whole point was just getting a little sample of what you could see in an NXT India. The wrestlers need a lot of experience (which is where a Performance Center can come into play) but they were far from terrible here. Granted it helps to be in there with some of the best workers in WWE, but that’s the exact right idea. Have some veterans in there who can keep things as under control as possible. It’s not a great show on its own, but it did what it was supposed to do and felt cool. There is a long way to go, but for a start, it worked out well.

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Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Pre-show recap.

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

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Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Pre-Show: Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

The opening video focuses on the statues before going into a regular video all about Reigns being up against the entire roster tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Dean grabs Dirty Deeds for eight. Dirty Deeds onto the chair has Owens in trouble but he rolls outside and onto his feet to break the count before collapsing. Dean loads up another table at ringside (“HEY! WE WANT SOME TABLES!”) and drops the top rope elbow for a double eight count. We get yet another table in the ring and they trade shouts of I HATE YOU.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great last man standing match. The double tables were clearly going to be the ending and it was just a matter of time instead of a big surprise at the end. It was good enough though and all it needed to be, though I was hoping Owens would get the title back. However, it leaves the door open for a big match at Wrestlemania which is the important thing.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day (Kofi/Big E.) is defending and Kofi asks for a moment of silence, allowing Woods to debut Francesca II. Yes Xavier will miss Francesca but he has, ahem, needs. As for tonight, one of them will also win the Rumble because 2016 will be the year of all gold everything. Thankfully the Usos have the different color boots on again.

Both guys try superkicks (shocking I know) but Kofi pulls Jey down by the leg so Big E. can get in a splash. A slingshot stomp crushes Jey again but he enziguris Kofi off the apron and out to the floor for a nice crash. Jimmy gets the tag and starts cleaning house with a Samoan Drop and Whisper in the Wind getting two on Big E. Everything breaks down and Big E. knocks Jimmy off the top, setting up a belly to belly for two of his own.

Jey dives off the apron (out of the WWE Universe according to Cole) to take Kofi out, followed by Big E. spearing Jimmy through the apron in an always cool looking spot. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up, allowing Jimmy to superkick Kofi into a very quiet Superfly Splash. Woods makes the save though, earning himself a suicide dive from Jey. Back in and Jey superkicks Kofi down but misses a blind tag to Big E., allowing the Big Ending to pull Jey out of the air for the Big Ending to retain the titles at 10:54.

We recap the Highlight Reel from Monday and the ensuing chaos.

The Wyatts talk about slaughtering the Beast and the Chosen One. Tonight they slaughter them all on their way to the title. Then he really will have the whole world in his hands. Run.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

They botch a sunset bomb but Kalisto turns into a quick rollup for two more anyway in a close enough save. The top rope double stomp misses and a springboard Salida Del Sol gets two more with Alberto grabbing the bottom rope. Kalisto tries a springboard but lands on two knees for a unique counter. Del Rio would rather take the turnbuckle pad off though, only to be sent face first into the steel. A quick Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the title back at 11:30.

Kickoff recap.

Fastlane ad.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were friends but Charlotte freaked out after losing to Becky, triggering a heel turn as Charlotte wanted to be more like her dad. Becky tricked Ric Flair into setting this up by implying that Charlotte was a coward.

Divas Title: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Back in and a suplex gets two for the champ and we hit the figure four neck lock with Charlotte slamming her face first into the mat. The hold stays on for a long time until Becky fights up with some running clotheslines. Becky forearms out of the Figure Eight and grabs a t-bone suplex for two. The running legdrops set up another t-bone but Charlotte hits a quick spear to take over again.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Divas are hurt by too many rest holds and WAY too much Ric Flair. This is getting into the Evolution format from thirteen years ago when it was already old. Not a great match here, which is a shame considering what these two are capable of doing. Just stop with the rest holds and the Ric and things will get better overnight.

Some fans won a tour of the Performance Center from Chex Mix.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Kane kicks AJ in the face before going after the other two as things settle down. Goldust is in at #8 and Kane is the only person on his feet. Everyone gets into the same corner as the fans are still chanting for AJ. Ryback is in at #9 and WOW the fans are not happy. Kane and Jericho form an unlikely team (time heals all hot coffee wounds) to put Ryback on the apron but not to the floor. Kofi Kingston is in at #10 and goes after Jericho. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Jericho but gets dropped to the mat for his efforts.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Ambrose shoved Owens through two tables

New Day b. Usos – Big Ending to Jey

Kalisto b. Alberto Del Rio – Salida Del Sol

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Spear

HHH won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Dean Ambrose

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and the big draw this week is the double return of Drew McIntyre and Goldberg. I’m not sure how much of an appeal that is supposed to have but WWE certainly sees something in it. Also we get a rematch from last week with Asuka defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss, because WWE doesn’t like waiting on much. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. Drew is rather emotional to be back here and thanks everyone who sent him well wishes. The virus is a horrible thing but we are going to get through it together. Speaking of things we will get through, this Sunday it is going to be Drew McIntyre vs. Bill Goldberg for the WWE Title. Goldberg was 173-0 in WCW and ran through the Rock like he was nothing….and then he disappeared.

The last thing to go in a heavyweight fighter is his power but Goldberg has started a new streak. Every champion he has challenged since returning to WWE has gone down but on Sunday, Drew is ending the streak. Cue Miz and John Morrison to mock the idea of King Kong vs. Godzilla on Sunday because one of them could wind up injured after the match. That opens a door for a Money in the Bank cash-in because whoever wins is going to be a sitting duck.

Miz promises to win the title but here’s Goldberg to cut them off. Goldberg: “You, me, Sunday, you’re next.” The staredown is on so Miz and Morrison make some jokes from the apron, earning themselves a double beatdown, with Miz taking the spear and Morrison getting Claymored. Another staredown ensues as I beg of WWE to end the Miz thing on Sunday because it is managing to hurt a story that had almost nothing going for it in the first place.

Charlotte says she knows how to perform well under pressure. Tonight she wants Shayna Baszler to bring her invisible crown because it’s one thing to pretend to be a queen and another to actually be one. On Sunday, she is entering the Royal Rumble and defending the Tag Team Titles. As for Lacey Evans and Ric Flair, she has seen her father in some dark places before but this might be the darkest. She’ll be ready though, because she is Ms. Wrestlemania.

Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler

Nia Jax is here with Shayna Baszler but Asuka isn’t here because she and Charlotte are the most worthless Tag Team Champions in the history of the title. Charlotte starts fast by kicking Baszler down and hitting a baseball slide on Jax. The Figure Eight goes on in a hurry but Jax comes in for the DQ at 56 seconds. Good, as there is no reason to burn off Charlotte vs. Baszler in a real match here.

Post match the beatdown is on with Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke coming in for the failed save. Lacey Evans is in as well and the six woman is ready for after the break.

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax/Lacey Evans

Mandy and Lacey exchange wristlocks to start before it’s off to Dana to knock Lacey down again. Shayna and Charlotte come in with Shayna kicking away at the leg. That’s enough to send Charlotte over for another tag to Mandy, who takes Baszler into the corner. The alternating beatdown is on with Charlotte kneeing Baszler outside. Charlotte stops to glare at Nia and Lacey but gets rammed into the apron. Shayna throws her back inside….and doesn’t beat the count at 4:44. Everyone seems confused and I can’t imagine that was the planned finish because it just ended out of nowhere.

And never mind as we come back from a break with the match continuing thanks to a decision made by Adam Pearce during the break. Jax runs Brooke over with a clothesline and taking her into the corner. Shayna does the stomp down onto Dana’s arm but Dana gets over for the tag to Mandy anyway. Everything breaks down and Charlotte chases Lacey over the barricade as Dana gets the tag again. Nia misses a charge into the post and Dana gets two off a running flip neckbreaker. A powerbomb into a chokeslam plants Dana again and the legdrop finishes for Nia at 14:05 (counting the break).

Rating: D+. Again. They did it again. One more time, Nia and Shayna beat Dana and Mandy because that’s all these four know how to do. The law of diminishing returns has been in effect for months with these teams but here we are again. Speaking of again, Charlotte and Asuka still might as well not be a team, so hopefully they lose the titles on Sunday and end this worthless idea.

We look at Mace beating Xavier Woods last week.

Mustafa Ali loved what he saw and is ready to destroy Kofi Kingston.

Earlier today, Ali talked about coming after Kofi because he had the greatest moment in his life after Ali had the worst moment of his life.

Xavier Woods vs. Slapjack

Woods charges at him to start but gets kneed down for his efforts. Slapjack bangs up his knee on a missed double stomp though and Woods strikes away. Woods nails a running knee to finish Slapjack for the pin at 2:49.

Post match Retribution beats Woods down, with Ali grabbing a chair. Instead he sits down in it though and says for someone who acts like a king, Woods looks like a peasant right now. Ali has heard that Kofi won’t be competing in the Royal Rumble, but don’t worry because he’ll take Kofi’s place.

Riddle is on his way to the ring when he runs into R-Truth, who has heard about a birthday party. Truth thinks it is for him because it was his birthday last week and they might have 24 karat gold carrots for him. Goat noises are shared.

It’s time for the talk show before a match involving the people in the talk show, this time featuring the Hurt Business in the VIP Lounge. MVP is ready to own the Royal Rumble and tells Cedric Alexander to focus on the task at hand tonight. Bobby Lashley talks about how the team is draped in gold (and silver) and they are just beginning. They have a present for MVP in the form of a THB chain. MVP is rather impressed but Cedric and Shelton argue over the design.

Cue R-Truth to ask about the surprise party, because THB must mean Truth Happy Birthday. Shelton: “Truth, now is not the time.” Truth: “Is it a dance break?” Lashley apologizes for forgetting his birthday last week but he has a gift inside the ring. Here comes the Menagerie of Numskulls to go after the title, with the Hurt Business getting involved. MVP isn’t impressed, but here’s Riddle with the Final Flash to knock him silly. It takes talent to squeeze in two stupid ideas into one segment so well done.

Edge is back tonight. Works for me.

R-Truth asks Adam Pearce if he can enter the Money in the Bank match. AJ Styles and Omos come up with AJ offering his services in a qualifying match. Styles says he’s benevolent, so Truth says he’s a Capricorn. Pearce says if Truth can beat AJ, he’ll consider a Rumble spot. Truth things Omos is a Taurus, like the one he had that broke down one time. Confused Truth is still one of my favorite things in WWE.

We look back at the opening segment.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Both are officially in the Rumble and Miz is in Morrison’s corner. Morrison takes him down with a headlock to start but Sheamus is back up with a hammerlock. The chinlock keeps Morrison down until he fights up, only to get backdropped right back down. Morrison gets in a shot to the throat and break dances over for a kick to the back. Sheamus pops up and grabs the Irish Curse for two before heading to the top.

The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air with a shot to the knee, setting up a running knee to put Sheamus on the apron. Back in and Morrison works on the leg with a leg crank and an elbow to the knee. Sheamus uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom, setting up a release Rock Bottom for two more. The Cloverleaf is blocked and it’s a knee to the face to set up White Noise to finish Morrison at 9:33.

Rating: C. As usual, this worked out well and I’m not surprised by this. They’re always good together and that was on display again. It’s a little weird to have the heel as the speed and the face as the power, but they kept Miz to a minimum and let the guys do their thing, which is exactly the right idea.

Post match Miz wants a handicap match so that’s on as well, as we now have a third Miz and Morrison segment in the first two hours.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Sheamus

No tags here as Morrison takes out Sheamus’ knee to start so Miz can get a DDT for two. An enziguri into a clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor, with Morrison nailing a nice dive. Sheamus gets sent hard into the barricade for some running shots to the head. Back in and Miz stomps Sheamus down in the corner but Sheamus manages to send Morrison outside.

A running clothesline drops Miz and there’s a powerslam to the returning Morrison. Sheamus Regal Rolls Miz onto Morrison and then sends them outside for the double top rope clothesline. Morrison breaks up the Brogue Kick back inside but Sheamus shrugs off the Skull Crushing Finale. The Brogue Kick drops Morrison but it’s the Skull Crushing Finale to finish Sheamus at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would have, and as much as I want to put Miz into that briefcase and send him to the planet Flaflooga, Sheamus got into the zone that he rarely reaches anymore and that’s a good thing. He really can do the power thing well and Miz and Morrison work well together in spots like this. Sheamus and Morrison have some very good chemistry together as well so I’m not sure why I’m surprised I had a good time here.

Ric Flair and Lacey Evans grapple a bit when Charlotte comes in. Lacey leaves and Flair says he’s doing what he wants to do. Charlotte says he spent his money on everyone but his family but this isn’t cute anymore. Flair is going from legend to old man and she isn’t the bad guy. Ric glares at her as Lacey comes back in and hits her with the Woman’s Right. Lacey asks Flair to explain the WOO as they leave Charlotte laying.

AJ Styles vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Truth sending him over the top but getting caught in a staredown with Styles. Back in and AJ misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Truth to start up the John Cena finishing sequence. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into the Calf Crusher for the tap at 2:35.

We look back at Randy Orton being all masked and creepy. I think this is just airing the same segment from last week.

And now, Alexa’s Playground with Bliss reciting Mary Mary Quite Contrary. She loves what she and Fiend did to Randy Orton two weeks ago and looks at a video of last week’s promo (which we just saw). Bliss thinks he looks better now and says that she just wanted to have some fun with Asuka in her playground. Now we look at Bliss watching herself and Asuka from last week (after watching her talk on the big screens in the Thunderdome). Bliss throws in some Ring Around The Rosey and her face turns into the Fiend for the LET ME IN. Total time spent on watching recaps: seven minutes.

Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Gauntlet match and if Riddle wins, he gets a title shot at Lashley. Shelton Benjamin starts things off and counters a kick into a spinebuster for two. The chinlock goes on and Shelton adds a knee but gets pulled into a guillotine. Shelton tries to muscle him into a suplex so Riddle knees him in the head. A rollup should have Riddle pinned but Cedric Alexander gets on the apron. Shelton yells at Alexander and gets rolled up for the pin at 4:48. MVP is in next and, as he yells at Shelton and Alexander for arguing, gets pulled into a kneebar for the tap at 5:24. Cedric is in last and we take a break.

Back with Cedric putting a knee in Riddle’s back and cranking on the arm. Riddle fights up so Cedric hits a heck of a dropkick for two. The abdominal stretch goes on but Riddle reverses into a suplex, which is countered into a DDT. Back up and Riddle kicks him in the head to start the real comeback.

A t-bone suplex sends Alexander flying but he gets the knees up to block the Broton. Riddle grabs a German suplex to put Alexander down again, only to get pulled into a brainbuster for two more. A quick triangle choke is countered into a powerbomb but Riddle hangs onto the choke. Back up and Riddle grabs a rollup for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C. Riddle vs. Shelton and MVP were about as nothing as you could get but Alexander had a good match. That being said, the whole Hurt Business in-fighting stuff is still one of the worst things going on around here as of late. It isn’t that surprising though, as the team is good, polished and feel like a threat so they must be stamped out.

Post match Lashley comes out to give Riddle the Hurt Lock to leave him laying.

The WWE Network is moving to Peacock. If it doesn’t increase the price and you get the same things, I’m good with it.

We look at the opening sequence again.

Edge joins us for the first time in several months to talk about how you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Ten years ago, he went to Wrestlemania XXVII and left as champion. Then he lost everything because of his neck and took nine years to get back. He remembers telling his mom that he wanted to be a wrestler and she told him you have to go do it.

With that in mind, he is entering the Royal Rumble. He doesn’t have much time left so he is going to fight with everything he has to make this far fetched dream come true. If you have been with him on this ride until now, you have to try. A world without dreamers and fighters is a much less magical place. He quotes Henry Ford, who said if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. Edge thinks he can, and he’ll see us at the Royal Rumble.

Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging in a rematch from last week. Asuka takes her down into an armbar to start but misses the hip attack. Bliss kicks her to the floor….and then gets on the rocking horse that appears in the ring. Back from a break with Bliss fighting out of a chinlock and getting kicked in the face. Asuka hits another kick in the corner but Bliss’ old music starts playing and now she has her regular gear on (and longer hair).

Bliss sends Asuka face first into the corner and then the lights go out, with Bliss going into the other corner. She does Bray Wyatt’s lean backwards and becomes Fiend Bliss. Asuka’s knee to the face just annoys Bliss and the Asuka Lock but Bliss powers out of it. The Mandible Claw goes on but here’s Randy Orton with red makeup because this company doesn’t know how burns work either for an RKO to Bliss and the no contest at 12:33.

Rating: F. I like Randy Orton, I like Alexa Bliss and I like Asuka. If you put all three of those people into a match and angle, I should like the product. Instead, this was like an eight year old on a sugar rush saying “And then this happens and then this happens but it doesn’t count and then this happens and then the show is over.” They had part of a match and then it was something about a horse and a goddess walking into an RKO. I would say I probably got some of the details wrong in there, but I don’t think there were any details involved in the first place.

Overall Rating: D. And yet, somehow it’s better than last week’s show. This show was going along somewhat nicely and then went FLYING off the rails in the end, with one dumb idea after another. Maybe it’s all the time that they have to fill, but the more I think about it, the more worried I am that this is really what they think is the best use of Raw every week. Between the wrestlers working multiple times, the people watching promos from last week and people doing completely stupid things just because the script calls for it, this was another shining example of how bad Raw can be and that’s a scary thought going forward.

Results

Charlotte b. Shayna Baszler via DQ when Nia Jax interfered

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Lacey Evans b. Charlotte/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Legdrop to Brooke

Xavier Woods b. Slapjack – Knee to the face

Sheamus b. John Morrison – White Noise

Miz/John Morrison b. Sheamus – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. R-Truth – Calf Crusher

Riddle b. Hurt Business – Rollup to Alexander

Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss went to a no contest

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re just over a week away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to start the last push towards the pay per view. Tonight features a title match of its own with Big E. defending the Intercontinental Title against an upgraded Apollo Crews, but Roman Reigns is not going to be happy and that could be great. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s show with Adam Pearce being set for the Royal Rumble title match against Roman Reigns but then having it switched out to Kevin Owens through some trickery.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for an opening chat. Reigns laughs off the idea of Card Subject To Change because Adam Pearce swapped himself out of the title match. You won’t be seeing Kevin Owens here tonight Reigns doesn’t want him here. Reigns comes here and goes to work because that’s what he does. He even put his health in danger, but what if he gets hurt? Man his back and neck have been bothering him lately. His ankles have been messed up since college. What if he just said his back was hurting too badly to wrestle at the Royal Rumble?

Cue Pearce to say this has gotten out of hand. Reigns doesn’t want to hear it and says Pearce needs to make his way back into the title scene. Pearce doesn’t buy that but Reigns says that Pearce can’t handle this. He hasn’t had a match in six years because he doesn’t have the heart. Maybe that’s why he never made it to the WWE.

Reigns and Heyman take this as disrespect, which means Pearce is disrespecting the family. Therefore, Heyman wants to do something about it and challenges Pearce to a fight. Heyman, citing his status as a New Yorker, says he will whip Pearce’s a**. Pearce says it’s on and Reigns promises Pearce is getting whipped too. See, I think we all know where this is going, but it’s still fun to see how it goes down the obvious path.

Here’s Sami Zayn to handcuff himself to the barricade for a protest, while declaring his entrance in the Royal Rumble.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Charlotte/Asuka vs. Riott Squad

Charlotte/Asuka are defending, Billie Kay is here with the Squad, and Asuka seems fine after being terrified of Alexa Bliss on Raw. Charlotte beats on Ruby Riott to start as Natalya and Tamina are watching backstage. Asuka comes in for a few shots but a Kay distraction lets Riott bring LIv Morgan in. A high crossbody hits Charlotte and we take a break. Back with Morgan snapping off a headscissors on Charlotte and Riott sending her face first into the corner for two.

Charlotte finally kicks Riott away and nails the fall away slam to send Morgan into the corner. The Downward Spiral into the top turnbuckle allows the tag off to Asuka. The sliding knee gets two as everything breaks down. Asuka German suplexes Morgan but Riott comes back in to roll her up. Billie accidentally distracts the ref though meaning no count. Instead it’s a running hip attack to Morgan and Charlotte hits Natural Selection to finish Morgan at 8:32.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine, but are we really just going to ignore Asuka being scared of Alexa Bliss and losing to her clean? Or everything with Charlotte and Lacey Evans/Ric Flair? Nothing at all? You might think that was worthy of a mention on this show but this was a run of the mill match with the titles being a backdrop to Billie screwing up again.

Post break, Billie tries to make amends by having the Squad in the Royal Rumble. She offers to help them practice by being Bianca Belair and Carmella (with impressions included) but the Squad, being as nice as they can, say Billie is out.

Here is a dressed up Daniel Bryan for a chat. He is VERY happy that the Royal Rumble coming up because it is all about the drama and the questions of what number you will have and when you are coming out. It makes him feel alive because he is ready to win and move on to main event Wrestlemania. Cue Cesaro to say that was a nice explanation, but he could have done it better (and in five languages).

Cesaro talks about being the first ever Andre the Giant battle royal winner so he will know how to win the Royal Rumble. Bryan is ready to fight right now but Cesaro says that since Bryan isn’t dressed to wrestle, he’ll issue an open challenge. Cue Dolph Ziggler, to say he can do anything in the ring and Cesaro is one of the few who can match him (Ziggler: “Sorry DB but it’s not 2014 anymore.”). The challenge is accepted.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro

Daniel Bryan is on commentary as they go to the grappling to start. Ziggler’s sleeper doesn’t work and Cesaro hits him in the face, setting up a rather long Cesaro Swing. They go to the pinfall reversal sequence with Ziggler getting two but having his superkick blocked. The Fameasser gives Ziggler two and we hit the sleeper again. That’s reversed into the Neutralizer and Ziggler is done at 3:43.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here but Cesaro getting momentum is nice to see, even if there is no reason to believe that it is going to go anywhere. I’ve been burned by Cesaro’s pushes being canceled too many times now but at least we’re getting a little something here. It’s better than nothing after all these years.

We recap Sasha Banks challenging Reginald to a match before she is willing to face Carmella again.

Sasha Banks vs. Reginald

Reginald gives Sasha a flower to start so Sasha slaps the taste out of his mouth (even Carmella’s mouth drops open for that). Sasha climbs the ropes for a hurricanrana but Reginald flips forward to land on his feet. A waistlock doesn’t work for Sasha as Reginald backflips out and lands on his feet outside. Banks hits a baseball slide and whips him into the steps….where Reginald front flips off of them and sticks the landing. Back in and Reginald dives over a monkey flip attempt and then counters a sunset flip.

A Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog works better but Banks seems to tweak her knee. Reginald flips away from a basement dropkick but a powerbomb is countered into an armdrag. Banks manages to send him outside for the Meteora off the apron. Back in and Banks grabs his hands while still on the mat, only to pull herself up for another Meteora. Something like La Mistica is completely messed up but Banks pulls him into the Bank Statement for the tap at 4:00. Cole: “Now the sommellier has something to whine about!” Graves: “I can’t even with you.”

Rating: C-. I have no idea what to think here as this was much more of a gymnastics routine that made Reginald look like a star for reasons I don’t quite understand. Banks vs. Carmella is set up, but I’m not sure why they went this way to get here. The match was fun, but how does this make me want to see Carmella get a title shot?

Paul Heyman compliments Roman Reigns for setting up the match with Adam Pearce because he knows Reigns has a plan. Reigns says he just handed Heyman a microphone and now Heyman has to deal with this. Heyman panics.

We recap Apollo Crews cheating to become #1 contender last week.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging and charges into a belly to belly to start. The apron splash connects but Crews is back with a pump kick into the standing moonsault for two. Big E. hits the Rock Bottom out of the corner for the same and Crews heads outside with Big E. saying Crews made a mistake with the slap. Crews gets in a shot on the floor and heads back inside to go up top. Hold on though as Sami, still handcuffed, unlocks the cuffs as Crews hits a missile dropkick. Sami runs in for the Helluva Kick to Crews for the DQ at 2:55.

Post match Sami hits a Helluva Kick for Big E. as well.

Kevin Owens is in his car because he isn’t allowed in the ring tonight and says this is all going to end with Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble. Owens talks about his tattoos telling a story, including his grandparents’ initials on his knuckles. They always supported him but they passed away before he could make it to WWE. Both of them had horrible illnesses but they kept fighting, just like he’ll do at the Royal Rumble when he becomes champion.

The Street Profits bring Sonya Deville (talking to Dolph Ziggler, who leaves before they get there), a fruit basket to congratulate her on her new job. They don’t get why she is hanging out with Ziggler but they get to the point: they want their rematch. Sonya isn’t sure though because they held the titles for a long time and Ford’s knee is still banged up. Some more teams need a chance and once the Profits are healthy, they can be back in the title scene. That seems to be cool, but the Profits are not happy after she leaves.

We recap the debut of Bayley’s talk show last week where she challenged Bianca Belair to an obstacle course race.

Bayley and Belair come out to go over the obstacles with Bayley going first. She takes her time and walks around some of the walls she is supposed to climb, and then drops the Chad Gable she is supposed to carry. Bayley finishes with a time of 1:12 and then says let’s EST this course for Belair, meaning it’s a lot harder. Belair starts fast but has to fireman’s carry Otis instead of Gable…..which she promptly does, and then dunks a basketball to win with 17 seconds left. Well that was impressive. Bayley pelts the basketball at Belair’s stomach though and the beatdown is on, including Bayley throwing her into the basketball goal.

Dominick tells Rey Mysterio that he has this, despite what Rey thinks.

Dominick Mysterio vs. King Corbin

Corbin starts fast by knocking Dominick to the floor, setting up a heck of a clothesline. Dominick fights back but the 619 is countered. A big right hand knocks Dominick silly and the End of Days finishes at 2:11. Well that was abrupt.

Paul Heyman vs. Adam Pearce

Pearce is in workout gear and Heyman, in his suit, tapes his fist on the way to the ring. Hold on though as Heyman tweaks his ankle on the steps and goes down. The referee checks on him but Heyman says “CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE.” And yes indeed here’s Roman Reigns to hit the Superman Punch to send Pearce to the floor.

Reigns hits him low and sends him into the fan screens before taking him up to the stands like he did to Kevin Owens. Speaking of Owens, here he is in a hoodie to beat on Reigns. Owens is sent into the barricade and they head inside, where Owens nails a Stunner. Referees come out as Owens takes him outside again and beats on Reigns some more. A Stunner on the floor drops Reigns again and the Pop Up powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know we go over this every week but Smackdown continues to be so much better than Raw for one major reason: the show feels fun. This show didn’t have a ton of great wrestling but some angles were advanced and a hot ending angle made up for some of the weaker points. The pay per view is all but set on the Smackdown side and they did what they needed to do here for one of the last shows. It’s nothing great, but it’s not like Raw left the bar that high.

Results

Charlotte/Asuka b. Riott Squad – Natural Selection to Morgan

Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler – Neutralizer

Sasha Banks b. Reginald – Bank Statement

Apollo Crews b. Big E. via DQ when Sami Zayn interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

And then everything changed as Drew McIntyre was diagnosed with the Coronavirus, meaning that whatever was planned for this week has been thrown out the window in exchange for something to be named later. We have a few more weeks to go before the Royal Rumble and now they are going to need to have a backup plan just in case. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH to get things going, complete with soaking in the canned cheers Before he can get very far, Randy Orton cuts him off. Orton says the office is here to do what Drew McIntyre couldn’t do. HHH confirms that Orton vs. McIntyre isn’t happening tonight so HHH has two options: make Orton #30 in the Royal Rumble or just hand him the WWE Title right now.

HHH says Orton is only going to be champion if he wins the Royal Rumble. The threats start but HHH doesn’t want to hear them because he’s glad to have the old Randy Orton back. He saw Orton light Bray Wyatt on fire and was never prouder, because he would have done the same thing.

At the same time though, HHH doesn’t understand Orton’s obsession with destroying legends like Big Show, Mark Henry, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. Why do it when it doesn’t even benefit you? All that did was take the pride away because it shows that Orton is a no good pr***.

Orton asks if HHH has it in him one more time, but HHH says no because there is no benefit to him. Before HHH leaves, Orton asks if that is because Stephanie isn’t here tonight so HHH can’t get his testicular fortitude out of her purse. A right hand puts Orton on the floor and he smiles, saying that must be a yes. HHH whispering a lot aside, this worked fine enough as a way to set up a makeshift main event.

We look back at Ric Flair costing Charlotte a tag match last week.

Charlotte doesn’t want to talk about Ric, because Lacey Evans isn’t the first or last woman to hit on him. She doesn’t understand why we’re talking about her dad when she is about to wrestle a match in 2021, meaning it’s time to go to the ring.

Lacey Evans says Charlotte needs to have a sweet tea on the front porch. Ric Flair liked the flirting last week and Lacey could go for that kind of sugar. She dedicates the match to Ric and blows him a kiss, complete with a bit of swooning.

Drew McIntyre joins us via video and says that it’s true he has been diagnosed with Coronavirus. He’s one of the people with no symptoms, but if he can get it, anyone can. So wear your masks and practice social distancing, and he’ll be back really soon. Has anyone in WWE officially announced a positive diagnoses on TV before this?

Charlotte vs. Lacey Evans

Charlotte knocks her down to start as commentary shifts into Royal Rumble hype. The Figure Four Necklock goes on with Lacey’s face being rammed into the mat and then Charlotte rolls her over a few times. Charlotte takes it into the corner to crash down onto the knee but Lacey bails to the floor. Cue Ric Flair, who is looking rather happy, as we take a break.

Back with Charlotte hitting some shoulders in the corner but Lacey knocks her down, throws in a strut, and drives Charlotte’s head into the mat. Charlotte fights back up and hits a clothesline into the neckbreaker. Lacey gets booted in the face and Natural Selection connects, but Flair puts the boot on the rope. Flair says he isn’t home and he’s not staying home before tripping Charlotte on a suplex attempt. He even holds the leg down so Lacey can get the pin at 12:24.

Rating: D+. This is another case where you kind of have to wonder who this is being booked for. Is it just that Flair was bored at home and wanted something to do? I only ask because this isn’t exactly boosting Charlotte and while it might help Lacey a bit, there are how many people sitting at home while Flair gets ANOTHER story? It doesn’t help that Charlotte was mostly destroying her until the finish, but Lacey did need the win.

Post break Lacey and Ric head to the hotel.

We look at Drew McIntyre retaining the WWE Title over Keith Lee last week.

Sheamus compliments Lee on his effort last week but Lee doesn’t want to hear it. Cue Miz and Morrison to brag about the briefcase so Sheamus calls them Dumb and Dumber. The match is made for later as Miz and Morrison remind me more of Bulk and Skull every week.

Jeff Hardy vs. Elias

Actually hang on as Elias says he got hurt in the recording studio, so Jaxson Ryker is taking his place.

Jeff Hardy vs. Jaxson Ryker

Ryker says Elias uses his music to create, but Ryker is going to destroy. Jeff gets stomped in the corner but avoids a charge. The Twist of Fate (swinging neckbreaker in this case) connects but Elias offers a distraction so Ryker can grab a rollup with pants for the pin at 48 seconds.

Post match Hardy tells Elias to bring it so Elias tells Ryker not to interfere.

Jeff Hardy vs. Elias

Joined in progress with Hardy kneeing him down but having the Twist of Fate broken up. The Whisper in the Wind gives Hardy two but Elias’ jumping knee into a swinging neckbreaker gets the same. Hardy is back up with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton connects for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here as they already seem to be planting seeds for Elias and Ryker’s split. To be fair, it has been like a month or so already and that’s enough time for such a partnership. Hardy wrestling two matches (a stretch but true) in a row makes a bit more sense now, even if they’re to the split this soon.

We look at Orton/HHH again.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Keith Lee/Sheamus

Morrison’s headlock doesn’t work on Sheamus, who takes him down with a drop toehold. Lee comes in to work on Morrison’s arm but a quick forearm allows the tag to Miz. Morrison is tossed onto Miz on the floor and it’s back to Sheamus for a double clothesline off the apron. Back in and Lee sends Morrison flying, followed by a hard whip into the corner. That’s enough to break the turnbuckle so we take a break.

We come back with the turnbuckle repairman earning his pair and Lee whipping Miz into the same corner. This one doesn’t work as well so Sheamus knocks Morrison off the apron. That’s enough of a distraction for Miz to get one off his DDT, setting up some left hands. Morrison grabs a chinlock but has to switch to a gator roll to keep Morrison away from Lee.

A big boot rocks Sheamus but he hit the Irish Curse to cut Miz off. Lee comes in to start running people over with the big shoulders before just throwing Morrison at Miz. Morrison’s Flying Chuck is knocked out of the air but Sheamus tags himself back in to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 12:54.

Rating: C. This worked out well enough, including a unique enough spot with the rope breaking to send us to a commercial. Lee and Sheamus teaming for a bit before having a hoss fight is fine, as it gives them something to do and they could be a fun team. It’s nice to see Miz and Morrison get beaten up too, with Lee throwing Morrison at Miz being a cool visual.

HHH talks about how Randy Orton insulted Ric Flair and yeah, he’ll fight Orton tonight. He’s here in a business capacity, but he’ll fight because he wants to know if he would have lit the match.

Sheamus vs. Keith Lee

So much for the waiting. They chop it out to start with Lee getting the better of things, only to be sent out to the floor. Lee suplexes him into the timekeeper’s area but Sheamus dives back in at nine. Sheamus sends him shoulder first into the post and starts stomping away on the arm to keep Lee down.

The armbar goes on for a bit but Lee powers his way to freedom. That’s broken up with a kick to the face so Sheamus goes up, only to get caught on top. A superplex is broken up and Sheamus hits a top rope clothesline. Lee pops back up so it’s a jumping knee for two, followed by another armbar. That’s broken up with a powerbomb, followed by the Spirit Bomb to finish Sheamus at 6:53.

Rating: C+. Well ok then. So they’ve had a tag match and then a singles match, which I’m sure will lead to either another tag or singles match between the two of them. I can’t complain all that much here as it’s nice to see Lee win some matches, and Sheamus is good for a fight, but they can’t stretch this out for a few weeks?

We look at the end of last week’s show, with Goldberg challenging Drew McIntyre for the Royal Rumble title match.

We look at….the end of last week’s show, with Drew McIntyre defeating Keith Lee and then Goldberg making the Rumble challenge.

Drew talks about how he was surprised by Goldberg last week. He and his brother were both Goldberg fans growing up but Goldberg messed with his legacy last week. Goldberg put words in his mouth and then said Drew was thinking them. Drew respects the legends and if Goldberg wants to prove something, they’re on for the Royal Rumble. Goldberg is next.

Riddle compares winning the US Title to eating a pizza with a lot of cheese as the Lucha House Party is rather confused. They tell him to watch his back, but he thinks that’s impossible.

Xavier Woods vs. T-Bar

Woods is on his own (saying Kofi Kingston is injured) and T-Bar (with the rest of Retribution) shoves him around to start. A heck of a clothesline gives T-Bar two and we hit the nerve hold. Woods fights up and chops away before avoiding a charge in the corner. There’s an enziguri to rock T-Bar again, followed by a missile dropkick to the floor. Mace offers a distraction so T-Bar can work on Woods’ arm, setting up Feast Your Eyes (now known as Eyes Wide Shut) for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: C-. It’s nice to see T-Bar and Retribution on a bit of a winning streak for a change, though it’s still kind of hard to believe that anything is going to last. The team just feels so worthless anymore and there is a good chance that they are never going to get out of this hole. At least they’re doing something though, and maybe they can do something better in the future.

Orton is ready to channel his hatred into beating HHH.

We look at Orton challenging HHH again.

US Title: Riddle vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP, is defending and jumps Riddle before the bell. Riddle confirms he can go so we officially start, despite his mouth being busted open. Lashley drops him ribs first onto the top rope to send things outside but Riddle is right back with a Floating Bro to the floor. Back in and the Final Flash is countered into a spinebuster as Lashley is getting fired up. The Hurt Lock goes on and Riddle taps at 1:59.

Post match Riddle says he wants MVP, who is game for a fight of his own.

Riddle vs. MVP

MVP is in street clothes but is fine enough to hit Ballin for two. Riddle fights back with the forearms in the corner but Lashley comes in with the spear for the DQ at 1:23.

Post match Lashley beats Riddle down again.

We look at Adam Pearce becoming #1 contender to Roman Reigns thanks to Roman Reigns.

AJ Styles talks to Pearce and says if he catches lightning in a bottle, he can face AJ at Wrestlemania and lose the Universal Title. Drew Gulak pops up to ask to be in the Royal Rumble, but Pearce says Drew can’t just put himself in. Gulak: “Why not? AJ did.” AJ asks who Gulak has beaten so Gulak pulls out a flash drive of his victories. Instead Pearce says Gulak is in if he can beat AJ next.

AJ Styles vs. Drew Gulak

Omos is here with Styles. Gulak starts fast with a rollup for two, followed by a tiger driver for the same. Back up and AJ scores with the Pele kick before shoving Gulak over the top to the floor. Omos puts his foot down next to Gulak’s face (giving us a great bugged out eye look, plus a sweet panning up camera shot on Omos) until AJ comes over to throw him back inside. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Gulak at 3:11.

Rating: C-. As usual, Gulak looked fine while he had a chance but it wasn’t that much of a chance. I like Gulak more and more almost every time I see him but I think he has firmly hit his ceiling. The match was slightly more competitive than I was expecting, even if the ending was never in any serious doubt.

Video on Goldberg.

Keith Lee offers HHH his services against Randy Orton but HHH has this. Lee hands him his leather jacket.

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke

Mandy and Dana are both in the Rumble. Dana’s headlock on Shayna doesn’t work so well as Nia tags herself in and runs Dana over. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Dana fights up and brings in Mandy. Shayna is driven into the corner but Nia gets in a cheap shot to cut her off again. The Samoan drop gets two as Dana makes the save so Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 3:20.

Rating: D+. You know, for a show where the roster is so depleted, you might want to have a few more matches go longer than four minutes. Jax and Baszler continue to dominate while we keep waiting on Rose and Brooke to take over. Then again that might not make Jax look like the most dominant woman ever so why would we want to go in that direction?

HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is in street clothes and we have neither a bell nor a referee. They slug it out to start with Orton getting the better of things before heading outside. HHH whips him into the steps and then near the announcers’ table to take over. That means it’s sledgehammer time, but then the lights start going out. HHH pulls back the sledgehammer….which is now on fire. The lights go out and HHH disappears but we’ve got a distorted version of the Firefly Fun House theme. Cue Alexa Bliss in the corner and she throws a huge fireball at Orton’s face. Orton holds his face and screams a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know it’s a show no one was going to watch with the football game on and they seem to have been wrecked by a mixture of Coronavirus and injuries, but sweet goodness people. Look at what you have available here and tell me how this is the best show you can put on.

There were ten matches on this show (not counting HHH vs. Orton which was a brawl instead of a match) and seven of them didn’t break four minutes. Maybe try a longer match instead of just replaying the same clips over and over for a change? I can expect that out of a budget promotion like MLW but this is supposed to be the top company around. You have enough people available here and yet four people have to wrestle twice? Even with the situation they were in, WWE can do so much more than this and seeing them punt AGAIN made for a very long three hours.

Results

Lacey Evans b. Charlotte – Pin with Ric Flair holding the foot

Jaxson Ryker b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup with tights

Jeff Hardy b. Elias – Swanton Bomb

Sheamus/Keith Lee b. Miz/John Morrison – Brogue Kick to Morrison

Keith Lee b. Sheamus – Spirit Bomb

T-Bar b. Xavier Woods – Eyes Wide Shut

Bobby Lashley b. Riddle – Hurt Lock

Riddle b. MVP via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered

AJ Styles b. Drew Gulak – Phenomenal Forearm

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Kirifuda Clutch to Rose

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s another major show with another Legends reunion. This time around the focus is on Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson for some reason but other than that, it seems like they are in for a bunch of appearances. Other than that, we have Keith Lee challenging Drew McIntyre for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a shot of Hulk Hogan’s picture on the back of a phone. Hogan introduces it as the H Phone, which can let you YouTube, Instagram, Tweet and even make a phone call. Hulk says you can even use it for a phone call. Posing ensues.

It’s time for MizTV with John Morrison listing off all of tonight’s legends. The guests this week are the New Day, who say they have their own talk show called New Day Talks. Xavier Woods serves as the band, with Miz not being sure what to make of this. Now it’s Woods turning into the bailiff for the first question: What are your New Year’s Resolutions? Morrison wants to graduate from hibachi school and take a photo every day so he can do one of those cool photo montages at the end of the year.

Miz isn’t pleased so Kofi asks the next question: which legend would you like to have dinner with? Morrison: “Tatanka. Definitely Tatanka.” That means it’s time for the cooking portion of the show but Miz erupt Miz erupts. Cue Teddy Long for our first cameo to say he has an idea: Miz and Morrison can face THE UNDERTAKER. That brings out Adam Pearce for a correction, so maybe we can just have a tag team match, next. Teddy didn’t exactly sound as usual here, as he was rushing through his stuff. If this is their best idea to open the show, they deserve to lose every fan they have.

New Day vs. Miz/John Morrison

Woods runs Morrison over to start and hands it off to Kofi for more of the same. It’s already back to Woods but Miz comes in to knee him in the ribs. Kofi comes back in with the spinning crossbody for two and there’s a kick to Miz’s chest. Morrison misses the running shooting star press though and a dropkick to the chest gives Kofi two. Miz and Morrison are sent outside for the big dive from Kofi and we take a break.

Back with Morrison kicking Kofi in the head and handing it to Miz for the left hands. Miz cranks on both arms so Kofi fights up, earning himself a knee to the ribs. The Figure Four is countered into the SOS, which is enough for the hot tag to Woods. House is cleaned, including the discus forearm to Morrison. Kofi dives off the steps with an ax handle to Miz and a Shining Wizard finishes Morrison at 13:16.

Rating: C+. The action was good but this wasn’t exactly an inspiring tag match to get things going. Miz and Morrison are a better choice in the ring than either of them on their own, though I could still go for more than this as a way to start off what is supposed to be a special show. It could have been on any given show and that’s not a good sign.

We recap Randy Orton almost setting Alexa Bliss on fire last week.

Orton says he wanted to do it last week but he couldn’t make himself go there. Maybe that is the change that the Fiend has brought on him because he showed restraint and compassion. He hates himself for it but that means he can sculpt that anger into being anything and everything. Can you imagine if he directs that newfound hatred for himself towards someone else? He doesn’t want to talk about the Fiend, because he wants to go talk to some legends about why he is the Legend Killer.

We look at Angel Garza winning the 24/7 Title from R-Truth at the New Year’s Eve celebration.

Garza hits on Alicia Fox but thinks that his title is more beautiful than she is. He moves on to Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka and Mickie James, but Slaughter smells the rose and calls him a maggot. And that’s probably the last we’ll see of all of them.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

Omos and Jaxson Ryker are here as AJ takes him to the mat with a headlock to start. Elias comes back with some chops as we hear that AJ will be in the Royal Rumble. A Stun Gun cuts AJ off again and Elias gorilla presses him onto the turnbuckle. There’s a clothesline to knock AJ outside and we take a break.

Back with Elias hitting a chokeslam for two, with Ryker looking rather pleased at his influence. AJ gets in a shot of his own but the Phenomenal Forearm is kneed out of the air for a rather near fall. That’s enough for AJ, who counters an electric chair with a hurricane into the corner. A brainbuster sets up the Styles Clash to finish Elias at 7:35.

Rating: C. This was a good bit shorter than last week’s match and while it wasn’t great, it was a nice showcase for Elias. He might not be the most polished in the ring but putting him in the ring with AJ is going to make him look good. Having Ryker be a bit of an influence is a way to go and this worked well enough on most points.

Post match Ryker brings in the guitar but Omos comes in to kick it out of his hands. Ryker panics and leaves with Elias.

Charlotte is in the Royal Rumble.

Riddle tries to get Big Show to become the Big Bro. Show likes the idea and tells Riddle to keep thinking as Riddle leaves. Randy Orton comes in to remind Show what happened when they met last time. Show says he’s ready to go right now so Orton grabs him by the throat and Show sits down. He isn’t falling for Orton trying to get him to do something foolish because Show isn’t ashamed to be a legend. Orton leaves and Show simmers.

Charlotte/Asuka vs. Peyton Royce/Lacey Evans

Non-title and Ric Flair is here with Charlotte and Asuka. Lacey now has a Lacey The Legend hat to make it a special night. Charlotte takes Peyton down to start so Lacey comes in for a wave to Ric. The chase is on outside until Peyton gets in a few cheap shots on the way back in. The double teaming works for a bit but Charlotte hits Evans with a Downward Spiral in the corner.

Asuka comes in with a missile dropkick but gets knocked outside. That lets Evans seem to hit on Ric, earning herself a slap from Charlotte. The brawl is on and we take a break. Back with Asuka getting stomped down in the corner and Lacey grabbing a chinlock. Asuka fights up and hits a running clothesline to drop Royce, allowing the double tag to Evans and Charlotte.

Back to back fall away slams put Royce and Evans down, setting up the moonsault onto both of them. Asuka tags herself in though and hits a Shining Wizard for two on Royce. Charlotte tags herself in as well and it’s a Codebreaker from Asuka into a mostly missed Natural Selection on Royce. That’s broken up but Evans stops to hit on Ric again, who seems intrigued. Charlotte breaks that up but Ric accidentally trips her, allowing Royce to grab a crucifix for the pin at 12:33.

Rating: C-. Well at least one of the legends finally did something, even if it was a mistake. I would bet on this being more about Flair than anyone else, because WWE has a tendency to make every story about him in one way or another. Hopefully it means a way to get the titles off of Asuka and Charlotte, because it’s not like they need them in any way./

Post match Evans kisses Ric on the cheek as Ric is upset. Charlotte gets in his face and says stay out of her business. The crushed Flair leaves again, because we needed to do this story for at least a second time.

Sheamus fires Drew McIntyre up for the main event and says kick Keith Lee in the head one extra time. Cue Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart to say he’s a big fan of Sheamus. He also says Drew is a great champion who reminds him of himself. Drew thanks him for the praise and asks if Sheamus reminds him of Jimmy. Hart: “I can see the resemblance!” Jimmy Hart is a national treasure. Sheamus offers to have drinks with Hulk and Drew, but not Jimmy, earning himself a shouting from the megaphone. Drew and Hogan hit the catchphrase after a nice endorsement (ignore that Hogan’s arms are still bigger than Drew’s).

Riddle vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. Riddle jumps him before the bell and we’re ready to go with Lashley sending him into the corner to start fast. A hurricanrana out of the corner puts Lashley on the floor but he catches Riddle in a fireman’s carry. Lashley drives him HARD into the post and we take a break. Back with Riddle fighting out of a chinlock but getting blasted with a clothesline.

Lashley hammers away in the corner but the spinning Dominator is countered, allowing Riddle to hit the kick to the chest. The Final Flash gives Riddle one but Lashley catches him on top. The Dominator connects for no cover as Lashley goes with the Hurt Lock. Riddle tries to fight out and bounces off the ropes, with the referee having to duck. That means the referee doesn’t see Riddle tap, making Lashley let go. Lashley doesn’t get why he didn’t win and gets rolled up for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. It was energized while it lasted and the ending likely sets up a title rematch at the Rumble. What mattered most here was commentary asking if Riddle was really giving up or if it was a way to sneak in a win. Just putting that idea out there makes Riddle look far stronger and keeps him looking a lot stronger going into the probably title match.

Mark Henry, on a scooter, tells Ricochet to stay with it. Ricochet leaves and here’s Orton to pop up and enter the Royal Rumble. He asks if Henry is entering as well but sees that he won’t be able to due to whatever is wrong with his leg. Henry is ready to leave but Orton threatens him. That means Henry can either leave right now or have Orton strike. A dejected Henry leaves.

MVP insists that Riddle quit so there is no controversy. Lashley promises punishment.

Mandy Rose vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler jumps her during the entrance and beats the heck out of Mandy, meaning it’s Dana Brooke running in for the save. We have a replacement.

Dana Brooke vs. Shayna Baszler

The Kirifuda Clutch goes on but Dana reverses into a rollup for the pin at 36 seconds.

Post match Mandy has to save Dana from the Kirifuda Clutch and a flapjack plants Shayna.

Ric Flair talks to IRS and Molly Holly when Randy Orton pops up. IRS and Molly leave so Orton asks Flair to walk the aisle with him tonight. Don’t worry, because Orton isn’t going to let Flair screw up again. Flair says no because Orton has done it himself, sending Orton into a rant about how much better Charlotte is than Flair himself. Flair is crushed, again.

We look at Keith Lee becoming #1 contender.

Riddle comes up to Lee to give him a bit of a pep talk. Lee thanks him but doesn’t seem to want to talk.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton pokes him in the eye to start and takes it to the floor. That lets him drop Hardy onto the announcers’ table a few times before going after the arm back inside. Hardy hits a clothesline but Orton knocks him out of the corner and hits the circle stomp. The chinlock goes on but Hardy neckbreakers his way to freedom. Orton rolls to the floor so Hardy hits a running clothesline off the apron to send us to a break.

Back with Orton grabbing the chinlock again but this time he puts his finger in Hardy’s ear gauges to pull rather hard. With that let go, Orton drops the knee for two instead. We hit another chinlock before Orton just opts to hammer Hardy down again. Hardy fights up and this time hits a basement dropkick for his own two. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for the same and Orton is sent to the floor for a dropkick through the ropes. The hanging DDT catches Hardy on the way back in though and the RKO finishes Hardy at 12:12.

Rating: C. I’m going to have to downgrade this one a bit as the ear gauge thing was hard to watch. Orton beating Hardy is going to keep him strong and it’s not like Hardy is going to lose anything by taking a fall here. Hopefully there is something else from Orton with the legends later though, because this wasn’t much in the way of being more evil and violent.

Lucha House Party runs into Melina, who does their dance.

Lucha House Party vs. Hurt Business

Non-title and MVP is on commentary. Metalik headscissors Benjamin down to start but the rope walk dropkick is countered into a nice powerbomb. Dorado comes in with a middle rope hurricane on Alexander, who snaps off a Michinoku Driver. The Golden Rewind sends Alexander bailing to the corner for the tag to Benjamin and the pace picks up. A jumping knee sends Metalik tot he floor but Shelton and Cedric get in a bit of an argument over the tags. That’s enough to let Dorado crucifix Shelton for the pin at 2:52 (same exact way the other Tag Team Champions lost an hour ago).

Post match MVP yells at them to get on the same page. THEY HAVE BEEN CHAMPIONS FOR TWO WEEKS!

Nikki Cross is talking to Torrie Wilson when Angel Garza comes up to offer Torrie a rose. Torrie says she’s talking to Nikki but sends Garza down the hall to meet Kylie Jenner and Cardi B. It’s actually the Boogeyman, who scares Garza into a rollup to give R-Truth the 24/7 Title back. Truth leaves with the ladies and Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Keith Lee

Lee is challenging and walks through the legends (including Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett) to get here. They shove each other around to start and run the ropes, with Lee not quite getting high enough on a leapfrog. He’s fast enough to drop down as Drew comes back though (that was a smooth save) and then forearm him out to the floor. Lee follows him out and hits the big Pounce to knock Drew over the barricade.

Back from a break with Lee driving in elbows and shoulders in the corner to keep Drew in trouble. Lee slams him down to stay on the bad ribs for two and McIntyre’s belly to belly attempts are blocked. McIntyre finally sends him into the corner though and NOW the belly to belly connects (for some Legends applause). A neckbreaker sets up McIntyre’s nip up but Lee plants him with a spinebuster.

They head outside again with Drew managing a powerbomb off the apron, with Lee’s back hitting the edge of the announcers’ table as he crashes through to take us to a break. Back with the two of them going up top, with Lee hitting a freaking Spanish Fly for two, because he can just do something like that. The Spirit Bomb is countered though and the Claymore retains the title at 21:13.

Rating: B+. This was the kind of hoss/how are they doing that kind of match and if you ignore the times where they nearly killed/horribly injured each other, it was a heck of a fight. I’m a bit surprised by the ending, but Lee got a lot out of this and looked like a threat. If they can follow up on that, it might go somewhere for him, but that hasn’t quite been the case yet. Heck of a match here though.

Post match McIntyre grabs the mic but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg says McIntyre has a lot of things going for him, except for respect. McIntyre doesn’t respect those legends so that’s where Goldberg steps in. He isn’t demanding anything like a match at the Royal Rumble, but Drew seems interested.

They go head to head and Goldberg shoves him down….as we cut to Straight Up Steve Austin because we’re out of time. On a show that is THREE HOURS LONG, they manage to go over (for the second time in three weeks). That takes talent. Not as much talent as making up a character trait for McIntyre, but still talent.

This was horribly dumb, as McIntyre spent the entire summer defending the legends from Orton but now, because they need a story for the Rumble, he disrespects them? That’s not how writing a story works, but I don’t think WWE quite understands it that way. I did see a theory that said it was the script they had for Goldberg confronting Reigns and just changed the opponents. It’s just a fan theory but….would you put it past them?

Overall Rating: C-. The main event bailed out a lot of this show, but the ending segment brought it right back down. This was another one of those shows where the legends are just there for the sake of saying hi for two seconds and then it’s back to everything else, making them feel really out of place. If that’s the case, why bring them in? Was anyone going to miss Tatanka, IRS (who sure got over his son being burned alive a few weeks ago in a hurry) or Alicia Fox? Or about half a dozen other “legends?” Just say Hogan and Flair and a few others are back (and don’t have at least eight names advertised not show up).

Other than that, this was a pretty bad show otherwise, as it had four straight matches end with some kind of a rollup, with two of those having the same finish. The Rumble is looking all over the place at this point and Goldberg vs. McIntyre isn’t exactly a thrilling addition. Next week is going to get smoked by the college football title game, but after a show like this, how many people were going to be watching anyway? The show was much more lame than terrible, but that’s probably a lot worse in this case.

Results

New Day b. Miz/John Morrison – Shining Wizard to Morrison

AJ Styles b. Elias – Styles Clash

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce b. Charlotte/Asuka – Crucifix to Charlotte

Riddle b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Dana Brooke b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Lucha House Party b. Hurt Business – Crucifix to Benjamin

Randy Orton b. Jeff Hardy – RKO

Drew McIntyre b. Keith Lee – Claymore

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: December 24, 2020
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s a holiday show and I doubt that actually means anything around here. This isn’t quite the show that is going to mean all that much but at least they have some Christmas trees. Granted I’m a week late watching it so the lack of Christmas makes me sad but maybe the show can make it better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Reckoning vs. Nikki Cross

The rest of Retribution is here too. Cross grabs some armdrags to put Reckoning down but she’s right back up with a clothesline. Another shot in the corner gives Reckoning two and it’s time to choke on the ropes. A dropkick cuts off Cross’ comeback attempt and it’s off to an old bow and arrow. That’s broken up as well and Cross hits some clotheslines, setting up the running crossbody in the corner. Reckoning hits a dropkick into the corner though and she ties up Cross’ arm to drive a knee into the face for the pin at 5:15.

Rating: C-. Just a match here but it’s nice to see someone other than the same band of people they’ve had on this show for so many months now. The wrestling was fine enough but I’m still not big on that finish. It always looks weird and not exactly like a knockout, but at least Reckoning won something else.

We look at Charlotte returning at TLC.

From Raw.

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Asuka/Charlotte

Non-title. Royce is caught in the Asuka Lock fifteen seconds in with Evans having to make a save. Asuka kicks Lacey in the ribs as we see Baszler and Jax watching from the back. Royce gets in a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Asuka in trouble but Lacey and Peyton get in an argument, allowing Asuka to suplex her way over for the tag to Charlotte. Chops abound and a big boot drops Royce. Charlotte gets pulled into a half crab though and Evans tries to play defense, only to have Asuka slip in for the save. Asuka kicks Lacey down and the Figure Eight finishes Royce at 8:03.

Rating: C. Just a quick win to keep Asuka and Charlotte hot after their title win last night. The team should be fine as a dream team for a little while, but I’m not sure who is supposed to take the titles other than Baszler and Jax. That can work for the time being though, as it’s not like the titles are regularly defended in the first place. On the other side, it’s nice to see that we are getting closer to the Iiconics reunion every single week.

We look at Randy Orton setting the Fiend on fire at TLC.

From Raw.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He has been called sick, twisted, deranged and demented and last night, he showed he was all of those things when he burned the Fiend alive. Orton is not a normal man and he enjoyed every single second of what he did. He kneels down to look at the exact spot where it happened and says he can smell it if he closes his eyes. Orton: “Burning flesh has a tendency to linger.” Last night he couldn’t sleep because the voices in his head were gone.

All that he could hear instead was the Fiend gasping for breath and the flames got hotter. Orton says the Fiend is no more and he is the evil son of a b**** who took him out. Speaking of out, the lights go out and Alexa Bliss, on a swing set is in the ring. Bliss says he built this for her and now it’s Alexa’s Playground. Orton is probably wondering where He is. Maybe He is at a tanning salon or at the beach or maybe he’s at his favorite restaurant, eating his favorite food (Bliss: “Barbecue!”).

But Orton is right: it was right here where you can still see and smell what happened to the Fiend. It’s almost like Fiend was absorbed into the mat and now he’s home in the earth. But if he ever leaves home, he’ll come back to Alexa’s Playground and it’ll be like nothing Orton has ever seen. The lights go out again and…..we look at commentary. As usual, WWE is horrible at building up tension as this could have taken six weeks but instead it took one day. Just let us believe that Fiend could be gone instead of all but saying “yeah he’ll be back” the next night.

Lince Dorado vs. Akira Tozawa

Dorado works on the arm to start so Tozawa does the same thing. Another armbar takes Tozawa down so this time Tozawa hits him in the face. Back up and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Tozawa but he knocks Dorado to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Tozawa chopping away for two and elbowing him in the face for the same.

Tozawa grabs a chinlock but Dorado fights up with a springboard moonsault press for two. An Iron Octopus has Dorado in more trouble but he pops up with a swinging slam into a faceplant. The high crossbody hits Tozawa for two (mainly because it hit Tozawa in the face) but he’s right back up with a top rope back elbow for the same. Dorado superkicks him down and the shooting star finishes Tozawa at 10:47.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting because the two of them were given a chance to do their thing for more than a few minutes. These two are two rather talented guys but they aren’t going to get a chance on Raw. At least they have a shot here, and hopefully someone is actually paying attention. I mean they aren’t, but it’s nice to be hopeful.

We look at the Raw World Title match from TLC.

We look at MizTV breaking down to set up the night’s main event.

From Raw.

Drew McIntyre/Sheamus/Keith Lee vs. Miz/John Morrison/AJ Styles

Holiday street fight, so Morrison and Sheamus start things off. Morrison elbows Sheamus in the head and takes him down by the leg in a bit of a surprise. Sheamus is taken into the corner for some triple teaming but Sheamus powers his way out without much trouble. It’s off to McIntyre, with Morrison taking him down by the leg. The Glasgow Kiss rocks Morrison though and Lee comes in for a double toss suplex to send Morrison flying.

A double shoulder drops Morrison as well and there’s a double hiptoss to AJ from Sheamus and Lee. Sheamus glares at Lee, who slaps him in the chest, causing Drew to have to separate them again and we take a break. Back with Miz and Morrison being shoved off the apron as things have calmed down a bit. Sheamus puts AJ in a chinlock but Styles gets up for the tag off to Morrison.

That’s fine with Sheamus, who knocks him down and goes up top, only to be shoved down through one of the tables at ringside. Back in and Miz takes over on Sheamus, even ripping at his face to make it worse. AJ comes in and cuts Sheamus off, only to get caught with White Noise. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house with a bunch of suplexes. McIntyre nips up but tweaks his leg (which Morrison worked on earlier and AJ damaged last night) in the process.

It’s fine enough to hit a spinebuster for two as everything breaks down. Lee runs over Styles and Morrison takes the Irish Curse. AJ comes in with some candy cane kendo stick shots to McIntyre’s knee to take things outside. McIntyre throws him into a Christmas tree and then hits a powerbomb through a table of egg nog and cookies.

The Claymore is broken up but Sheamus tags himself in to load up the Brogue Kick. Lee tags himself in as well and shoves Morrison into Omos’ arms, allowing Omos to drop Morrison through a table (with the camera cutting to the ring and then back to the powerbomb). The Spirit Bomb finishes Miz at 18:25.

Rating: D+. What kind of a street fight was that? This was a regular six man for fifteen minutes with a weapons shot and some tables being broken in the last three, making me wonder why they bothered with the theme at all here. It didn’t help that they’re redoing the arguing teams from the Survivor Series deal (with two of the same people) a month later, but you can’t expect WWE to be that creative.

Post match Sheamus hits Lee with the Brogue Kick, causing McIntyre to yell WHY to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. All this show did was make me realize how fast this company goes at times. This was just over a week ago and it feels like years have passed. Other than that though, it didn’t exactly make me interested in where they are going, but that is the norm for the post TLC/pre-Rumble lull. Not a great show here, but Tozawa vs. Dorado did make me smile a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 28, 2020
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

It’s the last Raw of the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. The big story coming out of last week saw Sheamus attacking Keith Lee, which did not sit well with WWE Champion Drew McIntyre. That would seem to be setting up a title match at the Royal Rumble, but we have over a month to hammer down the details. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Jon Huber.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Drew McIntyre to get things going. McIntyre talks about how this has been a pretty crazy year for him. We hear about what he has done this year and next week is starting with a bang as he is defending the title on Legends Raw. Here’s Sheamus to interrupt and McIntyre doesn’t want to hear the platitudes. They have known each other for fifteen years and next week they are ready to face off for the title, like they have always wanted to. Sheamus says he just has to Brogue Kick Keith Lee tonight so they can start next year the right way.

Cue Lee (McIntyre: “You had to know this was coming.”) to say he didn’t like getting kicked in the head last week. He’ll wait for the bell tonight to extract an apology, but he does say Sheamus might stab Drew in the back. Sheamus says he kicked Lee last week for always running his mouth about how he was going to turn on Drew. The argument makes McIntyre say let’s get a referee down here and do this now. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Lee before the bell and Drew isn’t happy. Of note: McIntyre got in a Luke Harper “yeah yeah yeah” for a rather nice tribute.

Sheamus vs. Keith Lee

The winner gets a shot at Drew McIntyre, on commentary, next week. Lee shoves him down to start but gets hit in the ribs, setting up a quickly broken armbar. Sheamus kicks Lee down again and stands on his face to set up another armbar. Back up and Lee suplexes him to the floor, setting up a posting. Sheamus knees him down on the way back in though and a top rope clothesline puts Lee onto the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to the chest. Sheamus goes up top but misses an ax handle, allowing Lee to pounce him down. The spinebuster gives Lee two but the Spirit Bomb is blocked. Instead it’s something like a crossbody for two on Sheamus and a better version connects for the same. Back up and Sheamus manages White Noise but loses a battle of headbutts. The Grizzle Magnum sets up the Spirit Bomb to give Lee the pin and the title shot at 12:54.

Rating: B-. There’s something great about two big guys hitting each other really hard for a little while and that’s what they did here. Lee getting the shot is certainly interesting, even if it seems likely to be a path towards a triple threat at the Royal Rumble (or Sheamus getting a shot of some kind). Either way, nice hoss match here, which is all it needed to be.

Lee goes out to see McIntyre post match and the title is held up.

Miz vs. Gran Metalik

John Morrison and Lince Dorado are at ringside. Miz is rather distraught over losing the briefcase so Metalik grabs some rollups for early near falls. A headscissors sends Miz to the floor and there’s a dropkick to put him down again. Metalik adds a moonsault to the floor but Miz hits a big boot back inside. A second big boot sets up a reverse chinlock and Miz throws in a bunch of trash talk. Back up and Miz misses a shot, allowing Metalik to grab a sunset flip for the upset pin at 3:22.

Rating: C-. Metalik was flying all over the place to start and the upset was a nice touch. What matters most here was going with a bit of a surprise, even if it is more about Miz than Metalik. I’m curious to see where this is going for Miz, but it’s nice to see him getting featured at a more appropriate level. At the same time, I could go for more of the luchadors but that isn’t likely to be the case.

AJ Styles and Omos interrupt Elias’ practice and Jaxson Ryker isn’t happy. AJ says Elias is more like Johnny Trash and a match is set for later.

Dana Brooke vs. Shayna Baszler

Mandy Rose is in Brooke’s corner. Brooke slaps her in the face to start but the cartwheel splash hits knee. Baszler cranks the arm across the apron and slaps on an armbar back inside. The Kirifuda Clutch goes on from the floor with Mandy yelling at Baszler. The arm stomp misses so Brooke takes it back inside for a running flip neckbreaker for two. Brooke has to bail out of something off the top though and it’s a jumping knee into the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 3:32.

Rating: D+. Brooke is trying rather hard but there is no reason to believe that she is going to be able to beat someone like Baszler. That makes these matches rather boring to watch as you can only have so much reason to believe that it’s going to work. Brooke has come a long way, but the gap is still far too big for her to cross.

Long video on Randy Orton vs. the Fiend with Alexa Bliss hinting that the Fiend will be back.

Here’s Alexa Bliss with Alexa’s Playground because she too needs another talk show. Bliss talks about how the Fiend is gone but he’ll be back someday. Maybe next week at Legends Raw, because he wants to meet his hero, Hulk Hogan. Fiend has been taking his vitamins and saying his prayers, but Bliss doesn’t want to know what he prays to. After her own “yeah yeah yeah”, Bliss introduces Randy Orton, who doesn’t come out.

Bliss does it again and again there is no Orton. Bliss finds this rude, but we go to the Firefly Fun House, where Orton walks through the door. That’s not cool with Bliss, and Orton makes it worse by kicking Huskus the Pig away. Orton laughs at the idea that the Fiend could come back and throws Mercy the Buzzard out the window, taking out Abigail in the process. Orton ribs Ramblin Rabbit’s head off as Bliss challenges Orton for tonight. Orton thinks this is where Fiend is supposed to return, so he accepts.

We look at Nia Jax attacking Charlotte to put her on the shelf six months ago.

Charlotte is ready for revenge, even against someone like Jax. Asuka comes in to celebrate the new year because Jax isn’t ready for Charlotte.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

Omos and Jaxson Ryker are here too. AJ strikes away to start but gets caught with a backdrop for one. They head outside with Elias sending him arm first into the post as we take a break. Back with Elias hitting a top rope Meteora to set up a chinlock. AJ gets sent outside so Omos offers some intimidation.

They head back inside with AJ hitting the Phenomenal Blitz into the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. Drift Away gives Elias the same but the Pele catches him on top. A quick TKO gives Elias another two but AJ goes to the apron for a forearm. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Elias at 14:02.

Rating: C+. This deserves the same complaint that I have about a good number of AEW matches: it didn’t need to be this long and felt like they were extending it out for the sake of extending it out. Elias looked pretty good here, but it’s kind of hard to believe that AJ is going to need fourteen minutes to beat him. The match was far from bad, but cut something like this down.

We see a clip from Raw Talk with Ricochet talking about how frustrated he is with losing all the time. Something needs to change.

Mustafa Ali says Ricochet needs to change.

Mustafa Ali vs. Ricochet

The rest of Retribution is here too. Ricochet hammers away to start and hits an early powerslam for two. The dropkick gets two but a Retribution distraction lets Ali knock him into the corner. Mace shoves Ricochet off the top for a crash and we take a break. Back with Ali grabbing a chinlock but Ricochet fights up and manages a moonsault into a German suplex to put them both down.

A hard clothesline drops Ali as well and the Kick Back connects, only to have Mace pull Ali out. The rest of Retribution gets on the apron so Ricochet tries a springboard DDT to T-Bar off the apron, which only somewhat connects and nearly kills T-Bar. Ali gets dropkicked into the post and another tornado DDT drops Mace with another scary landing. Back in and Ricochet’s shooting star press hits Ali’s knees, setting up the Koji Clutch to knock Ricochet out at 11:50.

Rating: B-. They had me believing in Ricochet again there near the end and that’s a pretty impressive trick. They’re doing something with Ricochet fighting against the team but I’m not sure where it ends. I can’t imagine Ricochet joining the team, but at least Retribution and Ricochet are FINALLY doing something for a change.

Post match Ali offers Ricochet the chance to join Retribution, earning himself a no and the Recoil.

Nia Jax says she has some goals: beat Charlotte, get the Tag Team Titles back, and (Shayna Baszler: “There’s a #3?”) enter the Royal Rumble to go on to Wrestlemania. Baszler likes the sound of that idea.

We look at Keith Lee becoming #1 contender.

Drew McIntyre says everyone has been waiting for Lee to step up, but he might not like what he finds up there. Lee can beat anyone when he is motivated, except Drew of course. See you next week.

Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Asuka and Shayna Baszler are here too. Nia powers her around to start so Charlotte grabs the arm. That’s broken up with power so Charlotte starts slugging away to knock her outside. Baszler and Asuka come over as Charlotte sends Jax into the post. Back in and the Figure Eight is easily countered with a shove into the corner and we take a break.

We come back with Jax hitting a sitout powerbomb (with the feed going black for a bit, possibly due to Charlotte’s gear having some issues) but Baszler and Asuka get into a brawl. Charlotte avoids the legdrop and tries the Figure Eight but Baszler comes in with the Kirifuda Clutch for the DQ at 10:52.

Rating: C. You can probably pencil in the rematch for the Tag Team Titles for the Rumble, even if it might not be the most thrilling story. Jax just wrestles the same match far too often and it brings down what value she has. Charlotte needs to shake some rust off, but she’s going to be the focal point of the division until Becky gets back at least so she doesn’t have much to worry about.

The Hurt Business chases off another random guy in the back.

Angel Garza has a rose when Charly Caruso comes up for an awkward reunion. Garza won’t say who the rose is for but here are R-Truth and the merry band of numskulls to knock the rose out of his hand. The petals are on the floor so Garza hands it to her anyway, saying it’s the thought that counts. Caruso doesn’t seem impressed.

We look at Big E. winning the Intercontinental Title on Smackdown.

Riddle, Jeff Hardy and New Day try to come up with a four man team name.

Riddle/Jeff Hardy/New Day vs. Hurt Business

During the entrances, Bobby Lashley declares for the Royal Rumble so he can main event THIS YEAR’S Wrestlemania. Cedric Alexander dropkicks Riddle down to start but walks into a gutwrench suplex. Lashley comes in to shoulder Riddle down and it’s off to Shelton to drive him into the corner. Riddle takes Shelton into the corner for a change and the Unicorn Stampede is on, capped off by Hardy’s slingshot dropkick.

Everything breaks down and house is cleaned, with the Hurt Business being knocked outside. Lashley has to be held back and we take a break. Back with Lashley hitting a Downward Spiral for two on Riddle and handing it to Shelton for a half crab. Cedric’s reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Riddle comes back with a kick to the head. Kofi comes in off the hot tag to clean house, including the Boom Drop to Alexander.

Woods makes a blind tag and Kofi dives onto Shelton. Everything breaks down again with Woods taking out Cedric and MVP at the same time. Jeff dives off the top onto MVP and Woods nails Alexander with the discus lariat (Tom: “A big Harper clothesline!”) and Hardy adds the Swanton. Lashley makes the save and Shelton knees Riddle off the apron. The Twist hits Shelton and Lashley comes back in, only to have Hardy block the spear. That’s fine with Lashley, as it’s the Hurt Lock to finish Hardy at 14:27.

Rating: B-. They were hitting another level with that everything breaks down sequence and it went on for a lot longer than something like that usually does. I’m not sure how much value there is in having Hardy tap out tot he same hold again but they kept Riddle and Lashley looking strong, which is what matters most. The Hurt Business continues to be one of the best things in WWE today and the more I see of them next year the better things will be.

Post match the brawl stays on with Riddle hitting the Final Flash to Lashley so the team can escape.

John Morrison tries to perk Miz up but saying John Cena lost to Kevin Federline doesn’t help. Adam Pearce comes up with the Money in the Bank briefcase…..because he’s here to return it to Miz. It turns out that Miz is right so he’s Mr. Money in the Bank again. Celebrating ensues.

Here is Alexa Bliss so Randy Orton can answer her challenge. Orton asks where Fiend is but Bliss says this is about her. She goes outside to find a present, which contains gasoline. Bliss challenges Orton to do to her what he did to him but Orton doesn’t move. Bliss pours the gasoline on herself and says light the match.

Orton still won’t move so she calls him a little b**** and pours the rest of the gas on herself. Orton: “You think I won’t do it?” He talks about how much he loves to hurt people so if Bliss wants to join the Fiend in h***, he’ll make her join him. There go the lights so Orton lights the match….and that’s it. Dang when is the last time they had an actual cliffhanger???

Overall Rating: B-. This was an up and down show as they didn’t have some of the best efforts on parts of the card. What matters here though is it feels like they are focused on the Royal Rumble and that’s a good thing. WWE does far better when they have something to focus on and you can get a long way based off having people announced for the Rumble. I’m curious to see where some of these stories go though and since there is no football on next week, some people might actually watch the show for a change.

Results

Keith Lee b. Sheamus – Spirit Bomb

Gran Metalik b. Miz – Sunset flip

Shayna Baszler b. Dana Brooke – Kirifuda Clutch

AJ Styles b. Elias – Phenomenal Forearm

Mustafa Ali b. Ricochet – Koji Clutch

Charlotte b. Nia Jax via DQ when Shayna Baszler interfered

Hurt Business b. New Day/Riddle/Jeff Hardy – Hurt Lock to Hardy

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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