Lucha Underground – September 21, 2016: Not Quiet Yet

Lucha Underground
Date: September 21, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

This season has been off to an interesting start as we have Dario Cueto doing various things and…..that’s really about all that can be pinned down. Almost everything else feels like one random match or story after another but Lucha Underground has earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to storytelling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Dial of Doom, Rey Mysterio vs. Pentagon Dark., which set up Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon and the Worldwide Underground’s issues.

Mysterio and Azteca are working out with Mysterio saying to forget Pentagon because they have their own battle to fight. Chavo Guerrero comes in and grabs a leg lock on Azteca but Rey quickly chases him off.

Dario spins the Dial of Doom and we’ve got a title match.

Lucha Underground Title: Matanza vs. The Mack

Mack is challenging and, somehow knowing he would be getting the shot, runs in through the crowd to go after Matanza in the aisle. A Stunner on the floor gives Mack three straight near falls, followed by a hurricanrana for good measure. Matanza shrugs it off and grabs a release German suplex. A pumphandle throw makes it worse and Cueto wants to see Mack dropped on his neck. Mack sends him outside for a flip dive but his frog splash hits knees. Wrath of the Gods retains the title at 6:03.

Rating: C+. I don’t know what it is about Mack but he’s just a likeable guy. On the surface he’s an overweight guy with bad fashion sense who can do a Stunner but his matches almost always wind up being entertaining. There’s something to this challenger of the week as the big ending should be a major name, though there will have to be some shenanigans to get them around the choices on the wheel.

Somewhere on the open road, as in somewhere in a basement, Son of Havoc is watching Famous B. commercials. Mascarita Sagrada is watching with him but here’s Mama Havoc with Bagel Bites in the most bizarre advertisement I’ve ever seen.

Johnny Mundo and Taya come in to see Dario with Johnny demanding his title shot. Dario laughs them off and says tonight the Worldwide Underground gets their rematch for the Trios Titles instead. That’s not cool with Johnny so he storms off, leaving Taya to say she’ll fight in his place.

Cage vs. Texano

Dario comes out of his office to say that the winner of this will get the ULTIMATE OPPORTUNITY. They go to the mat to start until Cage sends him over the ropes, only to get Stunned across the top. Texano gets kicked to the floor and taken down by a big man flip dive which always looks cool. Back in and Cage grabs a reverse Boston crab of all things but his rolling Germans are countered into an ankle lock. They trade some small packages for two each, followed by Cage hitting a Death Valley Driver for two more. A big old discus lariat takes Texano down and gives Cage the pin at 6:02.

Rating: C. Two power guys beating each other up for a few minutes is entertaining and that’s something you can always use. Well assuming you haven’t done the same thing for the last month or two with the matches losing any meaning they might have had in the first place. I like both guys though so this was a fun little match while it lasted.

Dario says not so fast as that was the first match in a Best of Five series. And before you ask, this was taped before Cesaro vs. Sheamus started.

Dario is in his office and opens a box containing…..a Famous B. hat? There’s also an envelope with some black and white photos which we can’t really see. Dragon Azteca comes in and asks for a match with Pentagon Dark. Dario actually says he’ll pencil it in so Azteca leaves. Ricky Mandel comes in and asks when his next match will be. That goes nowhere though as he sees the pictures that Dario had put in his trashcan. Dario gives him the pictures to get rid of him. Chavo comes in and says they need to talk.

Trios Titles: Aerostar/Fenix/Drago vs. Worldwide Underground

Aerostar and company are defending. Drago and Evans start things off with Jack having issues removing his warmup gear. Black tags himself in but Taya does the same so we can finally get contact. They trade technical stuff to start with Taya flipping out of a waistlock for a standoff.

Black comes in again and kicks Aerostar in the ribs, only to have the spaceman come back with a soringboard corkscrew crossbody. A tornado DDT is muscled over into a suplex for two but Black dives into raised boots. It’s off to Evans vs. Fenix but again Jack tags out again. Fenix pops Taya in the face with a slap so it’s Black coming in, only to get stomped in the back of the head. A mask pull puts Drago down and Black tags himself in again which causes some friction between Taya and Evans. Doesn’t make sense but whatever.

Black misses his top rope Lionsault and Taya has to throw Evans in by the hair. The champs start speeding things up and whip each other into Black in the corner as Evans is sitting on the floor with his arms folded. Black tries a springboard but Aerostar springboards up into a hurricanrana of his own. I know it looked bad with Black clearly just being there so he could get taken down but still, cool spot. A springboard Codebreaker puts Black away at 9:23.

Rating: D+. Really not much to see here other than some issues with the Worldwide Underground. It’s nice to have a promotion where stables aren’t beaten into the ground so a new one can feel fresh. Unfortunately this wasn’t the most interesting match in the world as they were doing the whole “no you fight” for the first five minutes or so. The ending helped but it’s still nothing compared to the usual stuff from these titles.

Post match Mundo runs in to help with the beatdown. Sexy Star comes out for the save and we’ll likely have an eight person tag soon.

Mysterio is in Dario’s office to say Azteca isn’t ready to face Pentagon. Dario agrees so instead we’ll have Azteca vs. Chavo with the winner facing Pentagon. As a bonus, Mysterio gets to be guest referee.

Overall Rating: D+. Maybe it’s just the beginning of the season but these first few episodes haven’t done much for me so far. There’s some good stuff going on here but this episode felt like another week with nothing to see and another “wait until next week” show. The good thing though is this promotion has shown that they know how to pick things up in a hurry with whatever wacky storyline they have next. Not a good show this week though.

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Smackdown – April 18, 2002: The Hogan Problem

Smackdown
Date: April 18, 2002
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Backlash and since this is Smackdown, we have a tag team main event which doesn’t have a lot to do with the pay per view. In this case it’s HHH/Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle as Jericho doesn’t actually have a match on Sunday. Then again I’m not sure who he could fight save for Rock, who wasn’t around last week and probably won’t be again this week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Billy and Chuck/Albert vs. Maven/Al Snow/Rikishi

Chuck punches Snow in the face to start in what is probably his best offensive move. Something close to a low blow has Chuck in trouble so it’s off to Maven for his really bad offense. We hit the armbar on Chuck as Tazz argues that he was Maven’s real trainer. I’d be careful bragging about that buddy. Albert comes in and throws Al around but Snow finds a way around Billy’s amazing offense and brings in Rikishi, who is suddenly an offensive juggernaut.

Rico comes in and is almost caught in a Stinkface (along with Chuck) but Albert makes the save. We get the big slam spot that isn’t as impressive as WWE would like us to be. The hot tag gives us Maven for some reason as everything breaks down. Rico kicks Snow down but Maven comes off the top with a high cross body for the pin on Chuck to set up Sunday’s title match.

Rating: C+. I think we’ve found the winner for biggest surprise of the night as this was actually good. Maven is still hard to take seriously with his dropkick and crossbody offense but giving him the pin was the best idea after Snow won last week. Albert vs. Rikishi is just a thing that exists but I’ve seen worse. Nice choice for an opener here.

Stacy Keibler, looking very good in blue, bends over just as Hulk Hogan opens his door. Vince wants to see Hogan right now so Hulk follows her with his eyes clearly panning down.

Kidman and Hurricane make fun of Planet Stasiak but Kidman says no one knows who he is. Hurricane has an idea: CHEAP POPS! So now the writers are making fun of the fact that no one cares about the Cruiserweight Title? I mean, no one does but still.

Hogan comes in to see Vince but Stacy finds Hulk a bit too attractive and gets sent away. Vince thinks he’s experienced this feeling of fan support for Hogan before. Back in 1984, nothing could stop this kind of momentum but it’s not going to be enough on Sunday. Naturally this takes WAY longer than it should.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Tajiri vs. Kidman/Hurricane

Kidman armdrags Chavo to dead silence to get us going. A headscissors and dropkick do a bit better but it’s off to Hurricane and you can hear the crowd wake up. Tajiri walks into a headlock before hitting a perfect looking superkick to drop Hurricane. The announcers completely ignore the match to talk about Vince and Hogan’s issues despite Vince having very little to do with Hogan at the moment.

Kidman takes a quick beating before it’s back to Hurricane for a jumping clothesline. Everything breaks down and Chavo sends Hurricane to the floor, only to have Tajiri come back in with a high crossbody for two. Tazz: “What is going on in this match?” It’s almost like he doesn’t pay attention. A big kick to the head gives Tajiri the pin on Hurricane.

Rating: B-. If there’s one thing that drives me crazier than the announcers not paying attention, it’s the announcers acknowledging that they’re not paying attention. It’s a nothing match but I miss the days of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura where the match going on in front of them was the most important thing in the world. You can plug other stuff but don’t laugh off the fact that you have no idea what’s going on in front of you.

Post match Tajiri kicks Kidman in the head and yells at Torrie in Japanese.

We look back at Test trying to hurt Mark Henry during last week’s feat of strength.

Here’s Mark to lift a car off the ground. Wrestlers take bets and Test doesn’t buy that this is real. He can’t lift it but Mark can, only to have Test cheat on the bets and beat Faarooq up.

Hulk Hogan comes out to talk about how people think he’s crazy for trying this one more time. He believes that he can do it one more time because, as Vince says, perception is reality. Hogan used to take the title for granted and now he wants to just be champion one more time. We get the big Hulking Up line but here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho goes on for a LONG time about how old Hogan is and about how HHH stole the title from him. Ever since he got back, Hogan has only had one singles match and he lost. True actually but ignore that part of course. Hogan finally tells him to shut up and come fight so here’s Kurt Angle to help him out. Edge comes out for the save to finally end this.

Here’s the problem: the fans absolutely love to cheer Hogan’s comeback and old nostalgia stuff because Hogan can still do it well enough to make the schtick work. The problem is that only works during the matches. In between them, Hogan has almost nothing to talk about other than how he wants to be a star one more time. That lost its steam about two days after Wrestlemania and it’s getting close to impossible to sit through, especially when he talks for ten minutes a week.

Vince throws Edge out but Edge things it’s Vince being afraid of what’s going to happen to Angle on Sunday. Edge leaves and Stacy comes up to offer her, ahem, services to calm Vince down. Vince wants HHH instead.

Test vs. Faarooq

Faarooq goes right after him but makes the mistake of sliding in, allowing Test to take over. Faarooq’s comeback goes nowhere and Test rolls him up with his feet on the ropes for two. The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Faarooq avoids a charge and grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Test kicks Faarooq in the face.

Stacy goes to get HHH but is distracted when he takes off the shirt. She finally gets the line out but HHH says she can’t make him come just by telling him to.

Hardcore Holly wants to beat Page up because he likes destroying positivity. Page comes in and smiles but says the anger is ticking him off.

HHH comes in to see Vince so Stacy is quickly sent out. Vince asks if HHH is ready to “dampen the fires of the greatest fire in sports entertainment.” If HHH loses, he’s on Smackdown. Now THAT’S a punishment.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hardcore Holly

Page starts fast with a clothesline and neckbreaker before hammering away in the corner. Holly gets in a hard clothesline of his own, only to get crotched on top. A superplex brings them down but Page lands on his head, injuring his neck in the process. Thankfully Page is able to walk and tries the Diamond Cutter but Holly shoves him away and hits the dropkick for the pin. According to Holly’s book, the ending was originally going to be the Alabama Slam but Page asked for it to be changed due to Page having some injuries. For some reason this was considered rude and Holly was punished as a result.

Page has to fight Holly off and gets in a quick Diamond Cutter. That’s it for Page in the WWF and really it’s for the best. Page never quite fit in the WWF but that’s to be expected when a lot of his WCW appeal came from fans watching him rise up the card. That and signing at 45 years old. He had a nice little run though and that’s more than a lot of people get.

Angle and Jericho are in the back and Kurt gets annoyed at Jericho saying Angle would suck the life out of Hogan. Kurt is so mad that he keeps leaving and coming back to yell more.

Here’s Reverend D-Von to say Vince is a prophet and go on like your standard enthusiastic preacher. He even takes up a collection and the fans give him a nice wad of cash.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Hulk Hogan

HHH and Angle start with the champ hammering away, just in case you didn’t realize HHH is better than Kurt. That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s off to Hogan for a change. Jericho comes in and tries a posedown before Angle comes in for the double teaming. Two simple villains are no match for Hogan of course so it’s HHH coming in to help stomp Jericho in the corner.

A catapult sends Jericho into Angle and a spinebuster gets two. For some reason the good guys get in an argument, allowing Jericho to hit HHH low and finally take over. We hit the sleeper because that’s going to get the fans to care. As usual, Hogan is awesome at playing cheerleader on the apron, which really is something so many people miss. Watch someone like Hogan or Cena when they’re on the apron in a tag match. They’re almost always doing something, even if it’s just slapping the turnbuckle. The energy helps a match so much.

Angle misses a charge into the post and the tag brings in Hogan for the 1986 offense. Jericho breaks up the legdrop and grabs a chair but stops to throw the referee out. HHH gets up but Jericho breaks up a Pedigree. Dang Kurt is going to owe him forever now. Hogan comes back and takes the chair away, setting up the chair shot to HHH’s head that everyone saw coming. Edge comes in to save Hogan (again) and the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. Just angle advancement here and that’s fine. I still have no idea why Jericho doesn’t have a match on the pay per view when he’s in such a featured role on this show. Hogan vs. HHH can’t end fast enough and these matches aren’t making me want to see them fight on Sunday. The wrestling, which means HHH and Hogan making it clear that they’re miles ahead of their opponents, was watchable enough if you can ignore the boring stories.

Edge fights Jericho and Angle off, leaving HHH to chair Hogan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know the show wasn’t great but this was so far and away better than Raw. Maybe it’s the younger talent around here or maybe it’s the lack of thirty second matches but this is easily more entertaining. There’s still a lot of bad stuff here though as they need to get rid of Hogan as fast as they can. It’s really not working at the moment and that’s only going to get worse as time goes on. This was a completely watchable show though and that puts it leaps and bounds above Raw.

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Monday Nitro – March 26, 2001 (2016 Redo, Final Episode, Final Thoughts On Nitro): Everybody Have Fun Tonight

Monday Nitro #288
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I can’t believe I actually typed that. After over five and a half years, we’ve actually arrived at the final episode of Monday Nitro. Tonight is the Night of Champions show with every title being defended. Other than that there’s been an open call to all former WCW World Champions to show up and bring their gear. That could be interesting or a big disappointment and I’ll let you guess which I’m expecting. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon standing in front of the Raw interview set. There had been rumors that something big was coming but if you thought WCW was going to survive after this, you really were in denial. Vince gives us the famous quote of “the very fate of WCW is in my hands” and that’s pretty much it for WCW. Yeah there were plans for WCW to continue, but you had to know that Vince was going to crush them given his track record.

Opening sequence.

The outside sets are still really cool and look so different than anything else most companies would do.

The announcers aren’t sure what to think. It’s so strange to hear his name mentioned on Nitro.

Here’s Ric Flair, instantly a face for the final show, with something to say. Ric thinks he heard Vince McMahon say he would hold WCW in the palms of his hand. So he’s going to hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race (none of whom actually wrestled in WCW but close enough), the Road Warriors, Lex Luger and Sting in the palm of his hand? Not on Flair’s watch.

Flair is a fourteen time World Champion (as the title count is a different number here despite him winning no more titles and despite him saying he’s a 20-something time champion because it’s all over the place) and this is a company that has run neck and neck with Vince for years. Yeah I think it’s like two or three years but whatever. Vince’s dad voted for Flair to be the World Champion (you don’t often hear Flair break kayfabe like that) back in the 1970s and he’s been flying around the world ever since.

This company has always been about the boys and Vince can’t hold them in his hands. Vince hasn’t bled for forty five minutes and wrestled for an hour before going to the next town and doing it all again the next night. In closing, Flair says his greatest opponent has been Sting. Tonight, he wants Sting one more time as it’s his last chance to beat the man.

This was a really passionate speech and Flair was the only one who could give it due to his history and resume in wrestling. The problem is that he’s wrong about how WCW is going to be remembered. A lot of people are going to remember it as the wrestling based company (and it was) but a lot of people are also going to remember it as the company that set the standard for being the biggest money pit that wrestling has ever seen.

Now Flair is definitely in the previous camp of the two as he really never was in with the crowd that brought WCW down and always stood for tradition. I liked the idea here and Flair sold it very well but it’s hard to accept WCW as this great company that Vince just pulled the plug on one day.

Macho Man Slim Jim ad, just for old times’ sake I guess.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

Title vs. title. Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Scott Hudson asks when the last time the US Champion faced the World Champion as he’s supposed to do “every single night”. That’s why I’ve never liked that rule and was glad when WCW stopped enforcing it. If the US Champion is the #1 contender by definition, wouldn’t that be the only World Title match we ever get?

Booker hammers away in the corner until Scott sends him outside but misses a pipe shot by hitting the post by mistake. Hudson: “He almost split the post with that pipe!” No Scott, he didn’t. A belly to belly gets two on Booker. Steiner cranks on both arms but gets dropkicked down. The Ghetto Blaster and Spinarooni set up a side kick, followed by the Book End to give us a new World Champion.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This felt like a quick TV Title match for the sake of getting the titles on the show instead of something big. I know they wanted to give the title to a top face but opening the show with a five minute match? I’m curious to see what else they feel deserves this time instead of this match.

Video on Spring Break. Eh it’s a sponsor thing so I guess they have to do this.

Vince is on the phone with his attorney and laughs at the idea of WCW holding its last show in the Florida panhandle.

Jung Dragons vs. 3 Count vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Winner gets a Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match later tonight. Kidman headscissors Yang to start but everything breaks down in the first thirty seconds. Everyone heads outside with Shannon hitting a big corkscrew dive, leaving Yang to hit Yang Time for two on Rey as Kidman makes the save. Bottoms Up plants Kidman with Kaz making the save this time. Karagias hits a 450 on Kaz for two more but Kidman knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Rey hits a quick springboard legdrop to pin Moore and get the title shot.

Rating: C. This is another hard one to grade as it’s about three and a half minutes long with everyone flying all over the place and no structure whatsoever. They probably could have been cut off the show without missing anything and the time could have been giving to the World Title match but I’ve heard worse ideas. That being said, I would have liked to see 3 Count, Noble/Karagias or the Dragons get a title shot, if nothing else as a thank you for everything they did for six months.

Trish Stratus comes in to see Vince and I think you can guess what happens.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Shane is defending. Chavo drives him into the corner to start but gets caught in the fireman’s carry facebuster for two. A belly to back puts the champ down but he pops back up top for a sunset flip. Chavo gets two more off a northern lights suplex and ducks a superkick. The second superkick connects though and the Vertebreaker retains Helms’ title.

Rating: C+. Another short match but I like the idea of putting Shane over again. Helms has been awesome and deserves to go out as champion. It’s good that both of these guys had long careers as they’re two of the only guys who looked like they were trying every single night in the last six months of WCW’s run. It’s even more impressive when you consider how different Shane’s character would become in the next few years.

We’re off to a commercial before Tony can even say who won.

Booker says he’s not done yet and is ready to fight anyone.

Trish has lost her jacket and here’s Michael Cole to interview Vince. Guess what his thoughts are on WCW fans’ concerns.

Tag Team Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo and O’Haire are defending after losing a non-title match last year. Sean and Storm start things off with O’Haire taking over and bringing in Chuck. That goes badly for the champs as Awesome slingshots in with a splash for two. Back to Storm who is catapulted into the buckle and staggers back into a sunset flip for another near fall. The hot tag brings in O’Haire to clean house and the reverse AA gets two on Awesome. Everything breaks down and the Jungle Kick into the Seanton Bomb puts Awesome away to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This show is moving fast and the longest match so far is the opener. That being said, the wrestling is far from the point tonight with most of the show being about the atmosphere and making sure every champion gets one more match. Team Canada were good designated victims for O’Haire and Palumbo, who should have been bigger deals than they wound up being.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

THIS warranted a spot on the show? They really couldn’t have thrown this on Thunder instead? If Stasiak loses he gets tattooed. Stacy teases stripping before the match but just introduces Stasiak. Bigelow’s early offense goes nowhere but he ducks a top rope clothesline. Stacy gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt. Greetings From Asbury Park is broken up by the blonde and the neckbreaker puts Bigelow away in a nothing match. This really didn’t need to be on the show.

William Regal tries to talk Vince out of buying WCW. I still love that Wrestlemania X7 baseball jersey.

Diamond Dallas Page has loved the ride and wants to know what’s next. Page thanks everyone who has been there for him but gives most of the credit to the fans. It’s time to take this to the next level.

Package on the WCW/NWA World Title. That’s a nice touch.

Vince says it’s about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Rey Mysterio vs. Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper

Skipper and Romeo are defending. Skipper jumps Kidman on the way in as Tony rips on Regal because THAT needed to be done on this show. Kidman holds Skipper up for a springboard dropkick from Mysterio as they’re clearly going very fast. A quick double team puts Kidman in trouble and Skipper Matrixes out of a cross body.

Romeo misses a high cross body of his own and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house. Everything breaks down and a baseball slide low blow sets up the Bronco Buster on Skipper but Romeo saves him before Rey can go up top. Rey’s springboard falling headbutt gets two and the Kid Crusher on Elix gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. That’s it for the belts and really, it’s not like they meant anything in the first place. Romeo and Skipper had a total of maybe five matches together so it’s cool to see Kidman and Mysterio winding up as the final champions. They’ve been around for so long that they deserve one last title reign before this company goes under.

Sting is here and says there’s no way he would miss this night. As for his future, nothing’s for sure. IT’S SHOWTIME FOLKS!

Another Spring Break video.

Vince struts down the hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Flair is wrestling in a t-shirt, which is probably in our best interest. Hudson puts over Sting as the only guy who never jumped. Sting shoves him down to start and Flair is already complaining of a hair pull. The announcers talk about the history between these two as Flair keeps bouncing off Sting. A quick thumb to the eye has Sting in a bit of trouble but, as has been the case for thirteen years, the chops have no effect. It wouldn’t feel right if they did. Ric heads outside for a breather before bailing from Sting’s….leapfrog?

Back in and Sting hits the gorilla press before raining down right hands in the corner. There’s the Flair Flop and Sting takes a quick bow. Flair gets in the required low blow but goes up top for one more slam. The clothesline train is broken up and there’s the Figure Four on Sting. A few bangs of the chest allow Sting to turn the hold over and it’s time to no sell some more chops. Sting grabs a superplex and throws on the Scorpion Deathlock to make Flair give up and end the final Nitro match.

Rating: B. That’s pure nostalgia and there really was no other option to end the show than Sting (well maybe one but we’ll get there in a second). Sting and Flair have a special connection to each other and even their TNA match felt somewhat special. This was all you could ask for out of a final match between them or from WCW and I smiled a lot as it went on.

On a side note though: is there a better way for WCW to go out? Not with the young guy winning the title back from the veteran monster. No, instead we have two guys past their primes as both athletes and draws but they’re having the main event slot because that’s how we did it in the old days and they’re the real stars. Oh and one of them was so out of shape that he had to wear a shirt instead of his regular gear. Of course it’s very different than the times that killed WCW but it’s kind of poetic in a way.

Sting and Flair hug and it’s time to go to the simulcast of Raw.

Vince is in the ring and says for the first time ever, this is being broadcast on both TNT and TNN. As you may have heard, he’s bought his competition and acquired WCW. However, the deal isn’t quite done yet because no one knows what to do with WCW. Time Warner has signed the contract but Vince is going to sign his part at Wrestlemania. Oh and he wants Ted Turner himself to walk down the aisle at Sports Entertainment Mania.

Vince has conquered wrestling and become a billionaire all by himself. Once Turner brings him the contract, Vince is going to have him sit in the corner and watch what Vince does to his son. This turns into a promo about Sunday’s McMahon vs. McMahon match and oh yeah this is about WCW. Vince brings up some WCW history and just lets out a lot of (never all of it) his bragging about finally beating them.

Maybe they could turn WCW into a big conglomerate but that brings up the question of who should be part of this new WCW. Fans: “GOLDBERG!” Hulk Hogan gets a very lukewarm reaction, Lex Luger gets NOTHING, Buff Bagwell actually gets a pop, Booker T., gets a bigger pop, Scott Steiner gets a roar (that’s a surprise) and the Goldberg chants cut Vince off. Sting gets another pop (though smaller than Bagwell’s actually) and Goldberg gets the loudest pop of the bunch.

Vince gets back to business and says he could have gone down to Florida and given everyone a piece of his mind. By piece of his mind, he means telling them that they’re fired of course. That’s what’s going to happen anyway because WCW is going on the shelf and it’s buried for good. Anyone who attempts to compete with him, including his son Shane, will be buried just like WCW. Vince yells a lot but here’s Shane……ON NITRO!

Shane is down in Panama City, Florida while Vince is in Cleveland and as usual, Vince’s ego has gotten the best of him. Vince wanted to finalize the deal at Wrestlemania but the deal has already been finalized. The name on the contract does say McMahon, but it says SHANE McMahon because he now owns WCW. Ignore the fact that Vince said Time Warner didn’t know Vince hadn’t signed yet so this doesn’t make a ton of sense. Just like WCW did in the past, Shane is going to take care of Vince at Wrestlemania. I lost it seeing this live and it still works very well all these years later.

Nitro wraps up with a graphic…..for Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Kane.

Oh wait we do get a good night and goodbye message…..with the word satellite underneath for some reason. One last production glitch for the road I guess.

Overall Rating: B. I really don’t know what to think of this show. The wrestling certainly wasn’t the point and they did a good job of making this feel like a fun show. Stasiak was the only heel to win all night and everything felt either fun or important with the titles (and Flair vs. Sting) being the only things that mattered. This show flies by and feels like an appropriate finale.

You could say that WCW could have brought in some more former stars and previous World Champions, but really that wouldn’t have made a lot of sense. WCW is going out of business because of how bad things were in the previous era. Do you really want to bring back those people and celebrate them? With all the horrible things people like Hogan and Nash caused for WCW, they really don’t belong on a show that is the closest thing to a celebration of the company we’re going to have.

As for the final storylines, many of which were abandoned, I was interested in finding out who was attacking the Magnificent Seven (never mentioned on this show) but I didn’t have a lot of hope for the storyline long term. At the end of the day, your top heels were Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Jarrett and the Steiner Brothers. Same guys, same big heel stable, same cruiserweight division stealing the show and being treated like nothing more than a warmup act. It was the same thing, as it always was again and again, just like Nitro was for years.

Now on to the final thoughts on the show as a whole, which are probably going to ramble a lot.

I liked the last Nitro and one major reason was because it felt completely different than any episode in years. Instead of a show that needed to be put out of its misery, it was actually fun for the first time in way too long. Yeah fun. Of all the problems Nitro had over the years, a big one was a lack of entertainment. Other than stuff from Jericho or a few one off lines from various people, how many fun things do you remember about this series? With that idea in mind, let’s go ahead and get to the big final thoughts on the series.

It’s safe to say that Nitro was definitely more adult oriented and serious than Raw but that doesn’t always work. There have literally been books written about how badly WCW screwed up over the years and I’m sure you’re familiar with all their various blunders, flat out stupid decisions, title messes and any other possible dumb thing they could have done so I won’t bother rehashing all of that again. Just remember: Vince Russo is MANLY.

Here’s what I find interesting: Nitro really was a change of pace for WCW. Do you remember how things were before it came on the air? Say, back in 1993? Remember how those shows went? With stuff like the British Bulldog main eventing and Sting vs. Nailz or the NWA being around for reasons that still make no sense? Even in 1994, it was Hogan vs. people like Brutus Beefcake, Earthquake and Kamala.

Then Nitro came along and changed things, but the first few months were hardly anything interesting. You had Hogan vs. the Dungeon of Doom (I still like them) and Ric Flair vs. the Giant but it took the Outsiders invading to take the show to new heights. Once Hogan showed up as the leader (which he didn’t do until eight days after Bash at the Beach, which is still ridiculous) and took the whole place over, there was no turning back for about a year.

Unfortunately, that was the peak of the show. Sting chasing Hogan and the build towards Starrcade 1997 was great but there was nothing after that. Goldberg winning the title was a great moment for one night but the show overall was turning into a mess as WCW scrambled to figure out what they could do to get back into the fight with Raw. By early 1999, Nitro was basically done as a real challenge and it only got worse after that.

So let’s say the good times started the night Hall jumped the barricade (May 27, 1996) and ended with the Fingerpoke of Doom (and that end date is a big stretch) on January 4, 1999. That’s less than three years where Nitro was good (Assuming you consider the 1997 shows to be good. I can go with must see TV but that doesn’t equal quality.) and the rest of the time ranged from not bad to some of the worst television in the history of wrestling.

That’s what people often forget about Nitro: in less than six years on the air, they were only good for about half their run. It’s really fascinating to me that Nitro is almost this fabled program that everyone remembers but Impact has been around twice as long as Nitro was and that’s more of a nuisance than anything else.

The point though is that Nitro was a game changer for WCW, but it was a short term change. WCW really wasn’t doing very well until Hogan came in and he could only carry them so far. They overtook the WWF on the strength of the NWO feud but once that ran out, the WWF came right back and WCW never came close again. Nitro was indeed a big deal, but it wasn’t something that put them on top for years and years, which shows you how rare it is for something to challenge Raw. To only be around that long and be the undisputed second biggest show ever in this era is quite an accomplishment.

Before I wrap this up, I have to mention some of the main reasons fans stuck around with Nitro. Over the years, there were WAY too many great matches to count between combinations of Eddie Guerrero, Raven, Diamond Dallas Page, Chris Benoit, Booker T., Saturn, Ric Flair and so many other names of workhorses who were the backbone of WCW and held the show together with great wrestling while the big names got the glory after putting in almost no quality work. Those guys are the forgotten heroes of Nitro and I’m glad that so many of them got to go elsewhere and have another run in their careers.

In addition to those bigger name wrestlers, Nitro also showcased a bunch of guys who almost never got any recognition in America. These guys were all talented and could put on a really fun show when they were given the chance. One of the best examples of this would be from June 7, 1999 with Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King in a hardcore match. These guys knew they weren’t going to get much TV time aside from this so they beat the heck out of each other and had one of the best surprise matches you’ll ever find. Check this out if you want to see four guys just beat each other up and have a great time doing so.

That’s why people stuck with Nitro as long as they did: sure the main event scene was going to be a bogged down mess that might offer one or two watchable matches a year but the undercard had the potential to offer you a show stealing classic on any given week. You never knew what the likes of Kanyon, Mysterio, Kidman, Malenko, Jericho, Guerrera and so many other names could pull off. There was even the hope that the new generation might rise up and become something, but once so many names left for the WWF in a year’s time, they took that hope with them. For me, that’s when WCW really died: when the hope left.

Overall, Nitro was a show that came, made a huge splash and then exploded into a huge fireball like nothing else in wrestling history. It definitely had some good moments (the Sting Army always springs to mind) and I was a huge fan growing up but by the middle of 1997 it was clear that the WWF was on the rise and WCW was going to have to step up its game to hold on. It gave fans another choice though and lit a very necessary fire under Vince that gave us some great Raw content as a result. If Nitro had one positive lasting legacy, it’s how good it made things on Raw and in a way we should be thankful for it.

That being said, Nitro really wasn’t the best show. The wrestling wasn’t great (though there were some bright spots, including some very good Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair matches and of course Benoit vs. Hart) and it was high on drama which was hit or miss, but there was an aggressiveness and an attitude in the early days that made you take notice. Once that left though, it was basically Impact with a bigger budget: copying whatever the WWF was doing and hoping to steal enough of an audience for one more big move.

There comes a point where you have to deliver something good on its own though and I don’t think WCW really knew how to do that. They knew how to have a big idea (or variations of that same big idea) and have a great start to a story but after that it would fall apart again due to a combination of incompetence, people with too much creative control, stupid politics or just bad wrestling.

That’s a major reason the WWF won in the end: all the stuff they would build up often resulted in a great payoff match at the end. With WCW, it usually led to Nash/Hogan/Luger/someone else having a bad match and bragging about how awesome it was while the fans changed the channel to see what Austin was up to next. Other than a few occasions, WCW never had that must see guy who could have the big match that people wanted to see. When they did, they stuck a taser in his chest so Nash could win the World Title.

I’m not going to miss watching Nitro, though I do miss part of having it around. As a kid I watched every week no matter what, but looking back it’s amazing that the show lasted as long as it did. It was put out of its misery at the end though and I have no reason to believe it was going to get any better (long term that is) under new ownership. It was WCW’s nature to find a way to mess things up and they had nothing to counter everything going on in the WWF.

Nitro may not be the whipping boy that the WWE likes to remember it as, but it’s also hardly this great show that was killed off too soon. That company ate itself alive and you could watch a lot of that happen every single week on Nitro. There are some good things to remember but there are far more moments where you wonder how they actually got this bad and still stayed on the air as long as they did. I can’t say I’m glad its gone but I really don’t miss sitting through that kind of self destruction week to week. That’s what Smackdown is for.

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Thunder – March 21, 2001 (Final Episode): How Many Times???

Thunder
Date: March 21, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’ve arrived at the final shows. We’ll start off the final episode of the corporate mandate that was Thunder, which has somehow gotten even less important over the years. The big story coming out of Monday is Ric Flair’s face being pressed onto the back of a donkey and the upcoming Night of Champions on Monday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday and most of the major stories. I’m still curious about who was attacking the Magnificent Seven. For some reason this recap starts with Dusty vs. Flair, goes to Booker vs. Steiner being announced and goes back to Dusty vs. Flair.

Air Raid vs. Jung Dragons

That would be Air Paris/AJ (now Air) Styles, now in matching G-Suits on the way to the ring. Yang and Styles get things going and hit the mat almost immediately with Yang getting two off a rollup. A headscissors gets Styles out of what looked like a Tombstone and it’s Paris sneaking in for a superkick. Everything breaks down for a few seconds before Styles hits the yet to be named Styles Clash (very little reaction from the announcers) for two on Kaz.

Yang comes back in and knocks AJ out to the floor but Raid double teams Yang down to take over for the first time. It’s off to Paris for a double faceplant, only to have Yang hit a running Liger Bomb out of the corner for two. The tag brings in Kaz to clean house with some martial arts but he walks into a Burning Hammer of all things from Paris. Styles dives into a dropkick but he gets up to counter Yang Time.

Air Raid loads up what looked like a superbomb/neckbreaker combo. Well for all I know they might have broken down into a Charleston dance off as the camera cut to the crowd so I’m assuming a botch. Something like an H Bomb gets two on Kaz with Yang making the save. Kaz gets back up and loads up something like Sister Abigail but jumps forward for something like a reverse bulldog for the pin on Styles.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted and a good way for these four to go out. The Dragons went from a pretty generic high flying Japanese team to a downright above average high flying Japanese team. Styles is another name on the list of stars that WCW had though a few matches in a low level tag team aren’t really enough to blame WCW for screwing up again.

We recap the Rhodes Family beating Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair on Sunday.

Here’s Dustin Rhodes with a bag of goodies and something to say. We see the clip of Flair and the donkey again so Dustin pulls out a game of Pin the Flair on the Jackass. To go with it: mouthwash, chapstick, and a hotel key for Flair and the donkey in case the idea wasn’t clear enough yet. Cue Flair to the screen to make Dustin vs. Jarrett/Scott Steiner for later tonight. Flair rants a lot so Dustin holds up the Horsemen sign but says it means to kiss the donkey again (Four words: Kiss My Daddy’s….)

Jason Jett vs. Cash

That would be Kid Kash. They trade arm holds to start and then flip each other around a bit with Jett being set out to the floor. A good looking slingshot hurricanrana has Jason in trouble but he dropkicks Cash out of the air to take over. Thankfully the announcers stop previewing Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shawn Stasiak to talk about this match.

Kash sends him outside for a big flip dive off the top and an ECW chant. Back in and a double clothesline (with Kash coming off the middle rope and Jeff flipping into his) puts both of them down. Jett grabs a reverse kneeling piledriver but Kash runs the corner for a bad looking hurricanrana. The Crash Landing is broken up and the Moneymaker (double underhook lifting piledriver) gets two. Jett pops right back up and hits the Crash Landing for the pin.

Rating: C-. And so ends the Jason Jett story. There was potential but he was a far cry from what people like Guerrero and Helms were doing at the time. It could have gone somewhere with more time but alas Jett was another victim of the curse that was WCW going out of business for not knowing how to push people like Jason Jett. Among many other reasons of course.

Flair tries to calm Rick Steiner down after the team accused him of being the attacker.

Cat gives M.I. Smooth a pep talk.

The Cat/M.I. Smooth vs. Animal/Kanyon

Cat kicks Kanyon to start and drives some right hands into his head for good measure. It’s off to Smooth vs. Animal for the power brawl with Animal no selling a clothesline. Smooth no sells a clothesline though and it’s off to Cat, who walks right into a powerslam. A powerbomb out of the corner allows the tag off to Kanyon for some elbows, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.

Animal grabs a neck crank before handing it off to Kanyon for a chinlock. Kanyon’s middle rope Fameasser is countered with a powerbomb out of the corner but Animal breaks up the dancing elbow. Smooth comes in and cleans house on Kanyon as Cat kicks Animal on the floor. A trip puts Kanyon down and a splash gives Smooth the pin.

Rating: D+. Well at least Animal didn’t get the pin. Of all the things WCW did in its final months, hiring Animal is one of the most annoying. It’s such a WCW standard: bring in some name from the past that people don’t care about without his partner when you have people on the roster who could fill the role just as well. I’m sure Animal’s brother booking the show has nothing to do with it.

Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus

Morrus has Konnan with him. As is so often the case in Rick matches, they’re on the floor in about thirty seconds with Steiner no selling Morrus’ offense. Hugh clotheslines the post by mistake so Rick throws him inside for an Angle Slam of all things. The cover only gets two as Rick has to yell at some fans. Well at least he’s doing something right. Rick’s bulldog gets two with Morrus getting his foot on the ropes.

That earns him a Steiner Line but Morrus comes back with a spinwheel kick. Steiner kicks him low (referee is fine with it) and gets in a chair shot (no complaints from the referee). He loads up some Pillmanizing (this referee is incompetent) but calls out Shane Douglas. Shane comes out for the brawl (HOW IS NONE OF THIS A DQ???) and hits Rick in the head with his cast, knocking him into a German suplex to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. Even on the final show Rick Steiner can’t pick things up a little bit? I’m assuming this was designed to set up Rick vs. Shane on Nitro (How appropriate: a Walking Dead match on the final Nitro.) or at some point in the future so I’ll actually give them some credit for trying to have some more angles for beyond Monday in case they were around.

Post match Douglas hands Dave Penzer a video. Shouldn’t he hand that to the production truck?

After a break, the tape shows Douglas challenging Steiner to a fight on Nitro. Was there a reason he just didn’t do this live on the mic?

Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman/Shane Helms

Kidman and Chavo start things off but Guerrero goes after Shane on the apron, allowing Kidman to grab a neckbreaker. Shane comes in for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a Skipper distraction lets Chavo take over. It’s off to Romeo for some dancing until Shane kicks him in the face. A Samoan drop into a springboard legdrop keeps Romeo in trouble until Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to take over.

Everyone heads outside for the series of dives in a nice sequence. Back in and Skipper plants Rey with a dragon suplex before handing it off to Chavo without bothering to cover. A Gory Bomb gets two for Chavo but Rey gets in a running DDT to drop Romeo. Kidman’s top rope elbow gets another two as everything breaks down. Chavo saves Romeo from the Vertebreaker so it’s the Kid Crusher to put Romeo away.

Rating: C+. One more good cruiserweight six man to go out on. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one match and they did fine here, especially with a challenger pinning a champion (fine as it was a six man and not a regular tag) to wrap it up. There isn’t much to say here but it was exactly what you would expect from these six.

Rick still isn’t happy. Was he ever?

Chuck Palumbo tells Lance Storm to stay out of this match.

Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo

They’re all alone here as Chuck starts off with that good right hand of his. Mike sends him outside and hits a great looking springboard clothesline, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. A camel clutch doesn’t go anywhere so Mike sends him outside again with Chuck’s knees going into the steps. Chuck takes a chair away and blasts Awesome in the back but can’t manage to jump over him in the corner. Not that it matters as Mike drops him anyway, making the whole thing look bad.

With the wrestling not working they head outside for the third time with Mike being whipped into the barricade. Awesome comes back in with a top rope shoulder but takes WAY too long setting up the Awesome Splash, allowing Palumbo to roll away just in time. Cue Storm and O’Haire to fight at ringside, leaving Palumbo to hit the Jungle Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. I like these guys and it’s nice to see them getting a push near the end. O’Haire was the star of the team but Palumbo was good enough to keep a job in WWE for years and have a nice little career of his own. It was certainly bigger than any other Thrillers after leaving WCW, which was probably quite the surprise.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett

Before the match, Jeff says Booker will be dead after this match, just like his daddy’s career. We go to a break before Dustin’s entrance and come back with Animal finding Flair laid out in the back. Dustin hammers on Jeff in the corner to start but Scott’s distraction lets Jeff escape the Dust Buster. So why didn’t he just climb out on his own earlier? Scott ties Dustin in the Tree of Woe for a bit before Jeff crotches himself on the ropes. The bulldog gets two on Jeff but a pipe shot to the back sets up the Recliner for the quick submission.

Rating: D. What a perfect way for Thunder to go out: heels winning a fairly short, meaningless handicap match with an old face that doesn’t get much of a response from the crowd. Dustin didn’t do anything wrong in this run but time has shown that people don’t really care about Dustin Rhodes on his own. He’s just a guy in trunks who has done an above average job of separating himself from his famous father. That’s commendable, but it’s not that interesting. Goldust is someone people care about while Rhodes is just there and that’s a common problem in wrestling.

Booker comes out for the save and says he’s taking the title.

A group shot of the Thunder production crew ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This felt more like any given episode of Thunder, which really isn’t surprising given how little Thunder meant. The cruiserweights were good (shocking) and the main event didn’t mean anything so it was all business as usual. Most of this stuff doesn’t matter anyway as Monday is a special show but it was nice to see at least some effort as they close it out.

So that’s Thunder. It’s no secret that the show wasn’t WCW’s idea and only existed because Turner Sports told them to put on a second show. For once you actually can’t pin this one on WCW but it’s not like they did much to help themselves. Looking back at Thunder, in all 147 episodes, I didn’t rate anything, be it match or show overall, higher than a B. In three years and three months, you would think they would somehow have something that high but nothing ever broke that barrier.

Over 147 episodes, a grand total of five received an overall rating higher than a C+. Five. As in less than twice a year this show delivered what I would consider to be a strong episode. In those same 147 episodes, I rated a total of thirty three matches above a C+. Of those thirty three, nine didn’t involve the cruiserweights. Think about that for a minute.

In almost three and a half years, a weekly wrestling show produced nine heavyweight matches that were better than slightly above average. Shockingly enough, every single one of those nine matches involved Chris Benoit, Booker T., Raven or Diamond Dallas Page. So in reality, those four and the cruiserweights were the only people delivering good matches on this show and even they weren’t doing it on a regular basis.

If you want to know why Thunder was such a nothing show, that’s where you start: on a show that had let’s say 900 matches (147 shows at six matches a show would be 882 so we’ll round up a bit), about three percent of the matches were even a little bit above average and nothing would be considered great. At some point, you need to offer something that makes people stick around. Wrestling that is just ok with a bunch of older names having horrible matches to close the shows aren’t going to do it.

Thunder just wasn’t a very good show and much like Smackdown in recent years, you almost never needed to watch it because almost nothing ever happened there. Let’s do a quick comparison with Monday Nitro regarding title changes and look at how many times each title changed hands from the time Thunder debuted until the end of the promotion (not counting the title being vacated):

World Title:

Nitro – 15, Thunder – 4 (Two of which were Kevin Nash awarding himself the title and losing it in the same night, a third being David Arquette and the final one being Nash winning the title, only to give it to Flair the following week on Nitro.). Now to be fair, maybe the bigger problem is that there are nineteen World Title changes on TV alone in just over less than three and a half years.

TV Title:

Nitro – 5, Thunder – 1

United States Title:

Nitro – 15, Thunder – 1

Tag Team Titles:

Nitro – 14, Thunder – 5 (Two of which were on a single show)

Cruiserweight Title:

Nitro – 11, Thunder – 5

Hardcore Title:

Nitro – 9, Thunder – 4

In total, that’s 69 for Nitro and 21 for Thunder. (Again, part of the problem is having ninety title changes on TV in twenty one months. By comparison, in the history of Monday Night Raw, there have been 259 title changes in the history of Monday Night Raw. WCW had more than one third the number of title changes on two TV shows in less than three and a half years than the biggest wrestling show of all time has had in over twenty three years spread over thirteen championships).

That’s the grand summary of why Thunder didn’t work: average at best wrestling most of the time, few major events and a bunch of horrible main events featuring either old wrestlers far past their primes or low level stars in matches people didn’t want to see. Thunder was a horrible idea from the beginning and never got any better. Monday Nitro going away was a major story. Thunder going away was a reminder that Thunder was a show that existed.

Oh and there’s this still active website:

http://cgi.superstation.com/sports/thunder/index.htm

I know TBS saw WCW as a long term investment but this is a bit much.

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Smackdown – January 29, 2004: Viva La Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request that I got so long ago that I can’t remember why someone wanted to see it. I’d assume it’s due to the big battle royal for the #1 contendership to the Smackdown World Title with the winner getting to face Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004. This was a fun time for Smackdown so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Smackdown GM Paul Heyman is in the ring to start but he’s quickly interrupted by Vince. The big boss wants to know why the Royal Rumble winner (Chris Benoit) isn’t on Smackdown anymore after jumping to Raw. Vince blames Heyman for getting rid of Benoit so Heyman goes on a rant about how the old Vince would just march on past it like he did when Hall, Nash, Hogan or even BRET HART left the company.

That’s why Heyman has an idea: tonight we’ll have another Royal Rumble RIGHT HERE TONIGHT. We’ll have a fifteen man version with the injured Matt Morgan being replaced by Hardcore Holly and Chris Benoit’s spot being taken by Eddie Guerrero. The winner gets the shot at Lesnar at No Way Out….because they can’t just have the shot at Wrestlemania for some reason. Vince says it’s on.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman

The Bashams (Doug and Danny, a pair of very similar looking brawlers) are defending and have the useless Shaniqua in their corner. Doug (I think, though it’s like trying to remember which Uso is which) starts with Kidman, who takes him down with a headscissors. Danny low bridges London to the floor though as Cole is already forgetting which Basham is which.

A spinning belly to back gets two for London and it’s time to work on the spine. We hit the double arm crank for a bit until London dropkicks his way to a hot tag. Kidman’s enziguri gets two on Doug with Kidman getting off the cover to dropkick Danny. Shaniqua offers a distraction and we get some twin magic, setting up a super DDT to retain the titles.

Rating: D. The Bashams were yet another lame team in a big list of them around this time. There was no reason to have two Tag Team Titles and I think everyone knew it but there was no way WWE would ever admit that. London and Kendrick would get the titles in July with three other title changes in between.

Kurt Angle is incensed that he has to pull his own number and jets off when he sees it.

Chavo Guerrero is all bruised but promises his dad that he’ll get revenge on Uncle Eddie.

Speaking of Eddie, he comes in to pick his number and seems very pleased. Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio comes in with his friend boxer Jorge Paez and nothing happens.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie (attending the ball hopper) and draws his number. Rhyno comes in and suggests he’ll end Cena’s career by going after his bad knee.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging, gets no entrance and has his blind girlfriend Nidia in his corner. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Nidia accidentally tripped Noble and cost him the match. Jamie takes him down with a hammerlock but an ankle scissors gets him out of trouble. Something like a torture rack has Rey in trouble so he armdrags Noble down and into 619 position. It’s way too early for that of course but Nidia accidentally trips Jamie again to little disaster.

Noble stays on the back and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Back up and Noble sends him into the corner and bends Rey’s back around the post. A superplex puts both guys down as Noble can’t follow up. My what convenient timing. Mysterio comes right back with a middle rope bulldog and the 619 but he tweaks his knee on the West Coast Pop. Jamie sends him outside right in front of Nidia, who gets in the way of Jamie’s attempted dive. For reasons that aren’t clear, Jamie throws her inside but apparently she can see just fine, allowing Rey to hit a springboard seated senton to retain.

Rating: B-. Really good TV match and an improvement over the pay per view match but there’s this misconception that people cared about Nidia enough to make this story interesting. Noble got what he had coming here and it’s a simple story but Nidia doing a face turn isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

The new correspondent tells us that Playboy is looking for two women for the next spread. Ignore the fact that Torrie Wilson and Sable had already been announced for the issue. This sets up a quick history of the WWE/Playboy relationship, which has basically been buried in the archives ever since.

Dawn has to pick Big Show’s number and “chicks dig it big” jokes are made.

Brock Lesnar isn’t worried about Goldberg saying he’s next because Goldberg is clearly a Lesnar wannabe instead of the other way around. Tonight he’s issuing an open challenge to anyone on the Smackdown roster for a non-title match. This might be the longest I’ve ever heard Brock talk and I’ve certainly heard worse.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are about to pick their numbers when someone comes in to tell Heyman that Eddie has been attacked. Everyone runs to Eddie while the Chavos deny having anything to do with this. Rey comes in and goes after Jr. but gets pulled back.

Eddie is put in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Oh yeah Jordan is a person that exists. I always forget. He’s still a rookie at this point so this shouldn’t take long. Brock actually gets knocked outside to start as the fans remind Lesnar that he tapped out recently. Jordan can’t even get one off a sunset flip so Brock easily drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. We hit a modified rear naked choke for a bit before Jordan comes back with a dropkick and jumping elbow. A clothesline cuts that off though and the Brock Lock ends Jordan with ease.

Rating: D-. I’m so glad they let Jordan get in some offense on the champ like this before he was destroyed. It really enhanced his career and made me care about him. Jordan continues to rank very high on the list of worthless wrestlers as he just stayed around for years despite showing absolutely no reason to keep a spot on the roster.

Some wrestlers went to Walter Reed Hospital to see some wounded soldiers.

We see clips of Kane being tormented by the spirit of the Undertaker.

Vince says forget about Undertaker because he’s buried. Uh, right. There is something to be said about Vince refusing to accept the idea that someone who comes back almost annually is coming back again.

Angle accuses Heyman of having Eddie injured. Apparently Eddie is already conscious again but Angle says that’s not enough. Heyman says if Eddie is here when his number is up, he can be in the Rumble.

Royal Rumble

There are fifteen entries and we have 90 second intervals. Kurt Angle, who has dedicated this to the US Armed Forces, is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2. They slug it out to start and Rhyno hits a quick Gore in the first minute. Angle gets in a quick Angle Slam though and Charlie Haas is in at #3. Charlie mocks Angle for reasons of general stupidity, allowing Rhyno to jump him from behind. For some reason Angle doesn’t help Rhyno get rid of Haas and goes after horned one.

Shelton Benjamin is in at #4 and the partners double team Rhyno but Angle makes another save with a German suplex. Nothing of note happens until it’s Bradshaw in at #5 and it’s time for the Clotheslines. We take a break and come back with Tajiri coming in at #7 but stopping to go after the Cat (who came in at #6 and was eliminated during the break) and his manager Lamont.

Billy Gunn is in at #8 and nothing happens so it’s Big Show in at #9 to start clearing out some room. Everyone gets ready for him but he shoves all seven of them off like they’re villagers. Tajiri is easily put out and Bradshaw follows him via a low bridge. John Cena is in at #10 despite sporting a bad knee. Cena puts Show on the apron and we come back from a break with A-Train and Nunzio having entered at #11/#12 but Nunzio is already out.

Eddie Guerrero is in at #13 and apparently Rhyno was eliminated during the break. Guerrero actually backdrops A-Train out and it’s Rikishi in at #14. Gunn is superkicked to the apron and Show gets the Stinkface. Shelton and Billy get the same thing and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #15 to complete the field with Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly.

Show chokes Cena to the apron and then the floor for an elimination that would stop the match dead in its tracks today. A big group of people almost have Show out and Cena pulls him down to the floor as we’re down to seven. Since nothing else is going on, let’s look at every elimination in the match so far! You know, because this couldn’t be shown on a split screen for some reason.

Eddie gets rid of Haas and Shelton is sent out a few seconds later. A frog splash hits Rikishi before Angle gets rid of Holly (basically ending his “main event run” in the process). Eddie gets Gunn out and we’re down to Guerrero, Angle and Gunn. Rikishi starts cleaning house until he misses a Banzai Drop. That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to put him out and now we’re down to the real showdown where either story would be awesome. Angle easily takes him to the mat and starts with the rolling Germans. Eddie stays on the apron and grabs an ankle lock on Kurt, only to be reversed into one from Angle (because of course).

Another elimination attempt doesn’t work and it’s the Three Amigos to put Kurt in trouble. The frog splash is broken up with some crotching and both guys are down near the corner. Kurt grabs a sleeper/chinlock but Eddie sends him out to the apron for another slugout. They fight over a suplex with Eddie shaking his legs to save himself and suplexes Kurt to the floor for the title shot in a big surprise.

Rating: A-. This started slowly as battle royals tend to do but then it took off and turned into a great match when you knew it was going to be Angle vs. Guerrero at the end. This was the start of Eddie’s rocket push and you could tell the fans were on board with the idea as Guerrero had earned this after a lot of years trying to get off the ground. It also needs to be emphasized that making this a Royal Rumble instead of a battle royal made it work so much better.

Overall Rating: B. This was one heck of a show with a good Cruiserweight Title match and the last third of the show being dedicated to one of the better battle royals you’ll ever see. They’re still in the era of having having big time shows because the Brand Split was still working at this point, meaning you would get stuff like this instead of EVERYTHING being about the pay per view. I had a good time with this show and it flew by, mainly on the strength of good wrestling, though having Eddie’s injuries mean a bit more would have helped.

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Monday Nitro – February 19, 2001: One More Funeral

Monday Nitro #278
Date: February 19, 2001
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

At this point, I can’t imagine they’ll ever leave the southeast again. We’re past SuperBrawl and as is far too often the case with pay per views, not a lot happened. Scott Steiner retired Kevin Nash which I’m sure means he won’t be back whatsoever. We’ve got less than four weeks until Greed so this is the final time we’ll start the build to a pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with the pay per view recap.

There’s some exclusive footage of Nash walking out and driving away from the arena last night. This is far too somber for someone who spent years trying to take over the company.

In the arena, there’s a Kevin Nash RIP screen up and here are some people carrying a casket. After they get to the ring, the Magnificent Seven come out in suits (with titles of course) as it’s time for a funeral. Flair says we’re here tonight to bid farewell to a man who walked as a giant amidst titans. Nash was a once in a lifetime athlete and now his career has come to an end because the Magnificent Seven struck last night.

Now there’s no one to stand against them at all because no one can handle Scott Steiner. Scott says they’ll do whatever it takes to succeed because he’s the man making history. They’re heels in case they haven’t spelled it out well enough for you. We get the same list of people that Scott has destroyed and sent to the hospital but apparently they’re all scared to come back. As Steiner talks about each victim, the RIP graphic changes appropriately. Scott was willing to let Nash live out the rest of his life at a nice retirement home but then Nash put his hands on the freak.

Now there’s one man left for Scott to go after and he’s going to show us who that is. The casket is opened and it’s Kanyon dressed as Diamond Dallas Page. Tonight Buff is going to beat up Cat, Jarrett is going to take out Dustin Rhodes and Kanyon can hurt Page but make sure to leave Scott a little piece. Cue Page through the crowd to say he’ll take care of Kanyon tonight and then get his hands on Steiner at Greed.

Miss Jones congratulates Cat for becoming Commissioner again. To celebrate, Cat makes the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles and the tournament to crown the first champions starts next week. Well they might as well give the three teams something to fight over to make it seem like they’re getting somewhere.

Jamie Knoble vs. Shannon Moore

Evan Karagias is here with Knoble. They start fast with some quick headscissors until Shannon misses a charge in the corner. Jamie gets two off a northern lights suplex as the announcers actually talk about the match for a change of pace. A running leg lariat in the corner staggers Jamie and knocks him out to the floor for a big flip dive. Shannon dropkicks him into Evan, who is knocked into the steps. Like almost any wrestler would, Evan blames Knoble and decks him from behind, allowing Shannon to hit Bottoms Up for the pin.

Rating: C. More of the same here but at least they might be mixing up the teams a little bit. I can go for the idea of some new teams going into the tournament but it would be nice if they had some new talent instead of the same six guys fighting over and over again. Shannon has been growing on me in the last few weeks and his ring work has been making him stand out, which says a lot given who he has around him.

Konnan and Kidman are ready to take out Animal and Chavo tonight. They don’t want Road Warrior Animal style though. Instead let’s do it Filthy Animals style.

Mike Awesome vs. Bryan Clarke

Fallout from Awesome dressing up like Clarke last night, though I thought Clarke was still injured. They slug it out to start with Clarke getting the better of it, though he keeps looking over his shoulder. As you would expect, Elix Skipper runs in but gets slammed down with ease. Lance Storm comes in as well and that’s enough for the DQ.

Team Canada beats Bryan down until Brian Adams comes out for the save.

After a break, Team Canada is still in the ring when Cat and Miss Jones (in a completely different outfit than earlier) come out. It’s time for Storm to pay for his crimes as Commissioner so Cat is giving him a match. If Storm doesn’t fight, he can go make pancakes in Canada because he’ll be fired.

Kid Romeo is coming. Or coming back as he was around a little over a year ago.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Animal vs. Konnan/Billy Kidman

Animal and Konnan start fighting in the back after Chavo has come to the ring. Kidman, in a black shirt for a change, runs in from behind to jump Chavo and we take a break with no bell. We come back to see Chavo and Kidman brawling with referees not being able to break it up. Konnan and Animal come down the ramp and the match actually starts with Chavo hitting a tornado DDT on Kidman.

I’m assuming the match started somewhere during the break as Konnan does Chris Jericho’s springboard dropkick to knock Chavo off the apron. Things settle down with Kidman elbowing Chavo in the face and handing it off to Konnan for a reverse standing Figure Four with both arms tied up. That’s certainly different. Animal makes a save because he’s Animal and doesn’t do a lot of wrestling, allowing Chavo to take over in the corner.

Konnan gets in his rolling lariat so Kidman can come back in. Everything breaks down and some double teaming puts Animal on the floor and Konnan completely botches his faceplant on Chavo. You can hear the crowd going awkwardly silent as they seem stunned that Konnan can’t sit down properly. The big guys fight on the floor as Rey Mysterio runs in for a What’s Up legdrop to Chavo, setting up the Kid Crusher to give Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. Chavo continues to look good in the ring and putting him in there with Kidman is only going to produce even more great stuff. I wasn’t wild on Rey coming in for the cheating as it takes some of the steam out of Kidman’s win, as well as doesn’t fit someone like Rey in general. Still though, not a bad match here with Konnan actually working hard to make up for Animal not even trying.

In case you thought something of Kidman there, Animal powerbombs him into oblivion. Animal never was legally in the match which keeps making me wonder why he has this spot. Was Team Canada so important that they couldn’t put Mike Awesome in his same spot?

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Before the match, Cat offers Bagwell a chance to leave Flair’s team and come back to the good side. Bagwell considers it before hitting Cat in the face to take over. Cat comes back with some chops to the throat but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. It’s already off to the chinlock but Buff stops to strut instead. We hit the second chinlock and Cat looks like he’s nodded off.

Some clotheslines cut off the comeback and it’s BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. We’re not even five minutes in and it’s already the third chinlock. At what point do you just realize Buff has nothing else to offer? Buff dives into raised feet and it’s time for some kicks. Cue Kanyon so Miss Jones gets on the apron, only to allow Buff to get in the double arm DDT (with Cat landing on his hands). The Blockbuster puts Cat away for the pin.

Rating: D-. Again: five minutes and three chinlocks. Bagwell gets lazier and lazier every single time he’s in the ring but at least he’s had some good matches before. I don’t ever remember Cat doing anything above bad. If that chinlock is the best they can do, cut this off and put on a Norman the Lunatic match instead as you might get some chuckles as a result.

Jones gets a Kanyon Cutter post match. Cat fights them off but I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing Jones again, which is a shame.

Post break Jones is taken away in an ambulance.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Lash Leroux

Steiner is defending and quickly takes Lash outside for a whip into the barricade. This looks like one of those matches where Rick seems more ticked off than usual. A Steiner Line almost takes Lash’s head off as the fans accurately call this boring. Steiner throws him down with a release German suplex before ripping at his face. Another Steiner Line and three Steiner Drivers complete Lash’s destruction.

Rating: F. Yes we get it. Rick Steiner is the most amazingly tough wrestler of all time and we’re supposed to be interested in seeing him beat people up really hard. For some reason he’s the US Champion despite not drawing a dime in years and barely associating with his brother, which would be almost the only possible way for people to be interested in him.

Lash is checked out by medics post break.

Scott Steiner gives Kanyon his brass knuckles to use on Page later. Page isn’t making it to Thunder.

Hugh Morrus wants to fight Rick Steiner for personal revenge but his match with Storm tonight is about pleasure.

Lance Storm vs. Hugh Morrus

Team Canada is barred from ringside. Storm says he doesn’t care who he’s fighting tonight because he was born to wrestle. Morrus can’t get him into a test of strength to start so the referee says they have 6:30. They trade chops until Morrus knocks him outside with a clothesline. Back in and a fall away slam looks to set up No Laughing Matter, only to have Storm take him down and possibly hurt the knees.

Morrus gets back up and catapults Storm into the buckle but can’t follow up. A trip to the floor lets Morrus take over again and he splashes Storm in the corner for good measure. Storm superkicks him down and grabs the Mapleleaf, only to get slammed and hit with No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D+. The feud had lost any of its heat at this point but it was nice to see them actually stick with Morrus as a big deal who can win matches on his own for a change. Storm is in a really weird place at the moment as he was Commissioner for six days but is now losing most of his matches without putting up much of a fight. It could have been a worse match but Morrus winning made more sense.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett dressed as Dusty Rhodes (including a very stuffed shirt and jeans) for a bad comedy impression. Jeff, in a borderline good Dusty, talks about how he’s here to save WCW and says no one can beat Dustin when his daddy is in his corner. Unfortunately there’s no way he can beat the Chosen One because Dustin (the fruit of his loins, which Jarrett says about ten times) just isn’t good enough.

Jarrett calls in some young wrestlers for an exhibition, which means slow motion elbows. Jeff falls down and can’t get up as the announcers treat this as some horrible idea. One of the guys gets Shattered Dreams until Dustin comes out, only to have Rick Steiner follow and beat Dustin down. Jeff guitars him and the villains stand tall. This went on and on and wasn’t that funny, mainly because it’s about Dusty Rhodes in 2001.

The announcers pay tribute to Dale Earnhardt, who passed away the day before.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page goes right after him to start and knocks Kanyon outside, meaning it’s time for a brawl in the crowd. That only leads to some brawling before they get inside again with Kanyon bailing to the corner to avoid a Diamond Cutter. Kanyon comes back with a middle rope faceplant for two and a Russian legsweep gets the same. Page is sent into the corner for a middle rope Fameasser and it’s off to the chinlock. The fans chant for Page in one of the few genuine reactions of the night.

Page fights up and gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down for some of the loudest spot calling I’ve heard in a long time. The discus lariat drops Kanyon but he’s still able to get out of the Diamond Cutter. The Kanyon Cutter gets two and the Positively Page book (which clearly has a brick inside) gets the same. Kanyon loads up the knuckles but walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C+. I know Page doesn’t have the best reputation around this time but he’s by far and away the most consistent main event star of this last year. He just has good matches with anyone you put him out there against and that’s so valuable to have. Above all else though the fans still care about him and that’s more important than almost anything anyone can do in the ring.

Post match Scott Steiner leads the troops out but Page is smart enough to bail into the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That middle portion is the usual death but there was enough good stuff in here to easily carry things for a week. Greed has some potential but the big story would seem to be who comes after Page to challenge Scott for the title. The announcers were talking about the Cat and Dustin Rhodes, who are somehow two of the top three faces in the company at this point. This place needs star power and it needs it in a hurry. I still think Sean O’Haire could have been something but he’s just too young at this point. Maybe in fifteen years or so.

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SuperBrawl Revenge (SuperBrawl 2001, 2016 Redo): One More Time

SuperBrawl Revenge
Date: February 18, 2001
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 4,395
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I’m still not sure what the REVENGE subtitle is referring to but it might be due to the fact that we’ve seen several of these matches on TV in recent weeks. The main event is Kevin Nash challenging Scott Steiner for the World Title in a match we saw just six days ago on Nitro. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like something out of a serial killer movie with someone cutting out pictures of Ric Flair and cutting words like PSYCHO and GREED out of magazines and newspapers. No idea what it meant but at least it looked cool.

Jamie Knoble vs. Evan Karagias vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

Elimination match for the #1 contendership. Helms is a replacement after Animal attacked Kidman so we can have these six opening ANOTHER pay per view. Thankfully there are tags here so it won’t be as insane to keep track of. Well at least to start because there’s no way the tags last. Jamie and Shannon start things off but Shane comes in with Shannon tossing Jamie into a powerbomb for two.

Even sends 3 Count to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo Asai Moonsaults (which the camera mostly misses). Back in and the Dragons double team Jamie, followed by Kaz headscissoring him into the middle turnbuckle. Jamie fights back and it’s off to Evan to beat on Yang. I know it’s not exactly a surprise but it would have been nice to not have a three way tag for a change.

Karagias plants Yang with a full nelson slam and then almost completely misses a springboard dive. Shane tags himself in and goes nuts on Evan before getting spun around into a rollup by Yang. Things are starting to speed up a bit with the Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combination getting two on Yang as Kaz makes the save. Tony says anyone could have made a save and Hudson talks about how anyone should have because he doesn’t know the rules of this thing.

The tags start getting much faster until Kaz starts cleaning house, only to have Evan drive him into the corner. Shane pops up with a top rope superplex to drop Kaz, followed by FIVE straight missed top rope moves to put all six down. Hudson: “The first man to his feet has to be the legal man.” No Scott, that’s not how wrestling works.

Kaz springboards into a kick to Evan’s head, only to get kicked into an X Plex from Shane. Evan hits a good looking springboard dive to take out Shane and Yang on the floor. We get the parade of dives with Jamie going last and being the only man standing. Back in and Evan gorilla presses Kaz into a spinebuster for two, followed by a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo but Jamie and Evan fight over who gets to cover. Guys don’t listen to Scott Hudson. It just destroys your career. In the melee, Yang grabs an over the back piledriver on Evan for the first elimination.

Jamie slips back in and grabs a tombstone to get rid of Yang to get us down to four. 3 Count’s double team doesn’t work as Jamie dropkicks Shannon into the barricade, only to have Shannon come back in with a super Bottoms Up for the pin on Noble. So we’re down to Shannon, Shane and Kaz with the team looking down at Hayashi. Hudson tries to say there are no teams here because he thinks we might believe him. In a fairly scary looking spot, Shannon backslides Kaz and Shane adds a guillotine legdrop at the same time.

Shane calls for the Vertebreaker but Shannon gives him the Bottoms Up in a quick turn. We get a ref bump on the save (STOP DOING THAT!) so Shane can kick out but Shannon low blows him right back down. Kaz and Shannon double team him for a bit before Kaz throws Moore outside. Shane gets back up and hits the Nightmare on Helm Street to eliminate Shannon and we’re down to two. Kaz rolls through a top rope sunset flip and kicks Shane in the face for two, only to get caught in the Vertebreaker to give Shane the title shot.

Rating: B. The match was the fun you would expect from these six but it’s getting really tiresome to see WCW putting them against each other over and over again. It’s cool to see them get some time like this (over seventeen minutes, the longest match on the show) but of course it’s the opener and the match is likely to be forgotten in about an hour because that’s where these guys belong.

Earlier today Chavo Guerrero was with Animal and Ric Flair but we can’t hear what was said. Chavo was upset though.

Hugh Morrus says General Rection did a lot of good things for the Wall in WCW but then Rection (he’s speaking like Rection is a different person) felt Wall’s betrayal. Tonight it’s Hugh Morrus, who has nothing but hatred in his heart.

Ric gives Scott Steiner an envelope that contains Kevin Nash’s future. Scott is very pleased by this.

Commissioner Lance Storm tells Kronik (arriving half an hour into the show) that Clark has to be seen by the company doctor before he can wrestle tonight. The Brian/Bryan’s don’t seem to mind.

Hugh Morrus vs. The Wall

Grudge match following the split of the Misfits in Action. Wall hammers away to start and gets an impressive looking shoulder to knock Morrus outside. Morrus comes back with a hard shot of his own and sends Wall into the steps, which he uses to crush Wall’s head up against the post. They get back in after a few minutes on the floor with Hugh dropping a top rope elbow for no cover.

Wall comes back with some big chops, followed by headbutts in the corner. Morrus avoids a top rope legdrop and both guys are down again. A spinebuster plants Morrus and keeps up the string of hard hitting moves. Back up and Wall gets flapjacked so we can have another double breather. They slug it out from their knees, which Hudson describes as not wrestling of any type. Then why exactly am I watching? Morrus gets up first and hits a German suplex to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. This started off well with them beating on each other with heavy shots that looked like they did a lot of damage but then the ridiculous amount of laying around after big spots got annoying in a hurry. Cut this match down by about two or three minutes and it’s actually a fun power brawl but it was clear that they were out there too long. Wall didn’t look as horrible here, which is high praise in his case.

Konnan goes after Animal for what he did to Kidman.

We recap the battle of the Thrillers, which is basically about who has the Tag Team Titles, which set up a rivalry over who were the stars of the team.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Jindrak/Shawn Stasiak

O’Haire and Palumbo are defending. Before the match, both teams say they’re awesome and promise a win. A quick brawl breaks out at the bell before Stasiak clotheslines O’Haire to start. Sean sends Jindrak throat first into the ropes though, allowing Palumbo to get in a dropkick to the face. The champs take over with Palumbo jumping over his partner to land on Mark’s ribs before grabbing a sleeper.

Stasiak actually does something right for a change as he distracts Palumbo so Mark can get in a clothesline to take over. A double clothesline into a double nipup into a double elbow drop let the challengers show off a bit, only to have Palumbo hit that insanely hard right hand on Stasiak’s jaw. It’s not enough for the tag though as Jindrak takes him back into the corner for more stomping.

Mark grabs the chinlock on Palumbo as they’re doing the smart thing here by waiting on the hot tag to O’Haire, who is by far the most interesting of these four. Back to Stasiak for an armbar before Jindrak grabs a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. They’re certainly giving Stasiak and Jindrak a bunch of offense.

Shawn misses a top rope splash (which would have overshot Palumbo by three feet anyway) and the hot tag finally brings in O’Haire to a moderate pop. That’s not bad considering there’s no reason to cheer the champs, who never have done anything to turn face. Everything breaks down and Stasiak has to pull his partner away before the Seanton Bomb can launch. Not that it matters as Palumbo Jungle Kicks Shawn down, setting up the Seanton to retain.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here and the clean finish did a lot of good here. Sometimes you just need one side to come off as the better team and that’s what happened in this match. O’Haire looks like a star and I’m really surprised he didn’t become a bigger deal in wrestling due to his look and athleticism alone. The other three were average at best (Palumbo) and a warm body at worst (Stasiak) with all four of them really needing personalities and/or characters.

Dustin Rhodes blames Ric Flair for keeping him out of WCW. Tonight he’s drawing first blood on his team. After that, you will never forget the name of Dustin Rhodes.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is defending after Rey won a gauntlet match earlier in the month. Rey starts fast with a running clothesline as you can see far too many empty seats in the upper deck. The champ sends him to the apron for an attempted sunset bomb which is countered into a hurricanrana to send Chavo flying. Back in and Chavo drapes him ribs first across the top rope.

Going after Rey’s ribs has worked for years so there’s no reason to not go for it again. Rey gets tied up in the Tree of Woe to work on the knee but Chavo stays on the ribs. Now that’s just versatility. It’s time for the Gory Special for a bit with Chavo teasing the Gory Bomb (not Gory Buster, no matter how many times the announcers try to refer to it as such). Rey escapes and tries a springboard, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. This has been all Chavo as he keeps countering everything Rey throws at him.

There’s an STF of all things before Chavo sends him outside. Rey comes up holding his knee which is quickly sent into the steps. Chavo steals a fan’s Mysterio mask and puts it on Rey before grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Rey crotches him on the turnbuckle, setting up a hurricanrana as the mask comes off. Chavo takes a breather outside so Rey flip dives over the top to take him out as he FINALLY starts acting like himself. Another springboard goes badly for Rey though as he bangs up his knee, also just like himself.

It’s time for a chair because….well I have no idea actually. Rey sends Chavo into the buckle and tries a hurricanrana, which finally sends Chavo outside after two botches. Hudson praises Rey’s execution, which Tony says is appropriate since he almost killed Chavo. That was far too close to being amusing. Cut it out Schiavone. Back in and the Bronco Buster hits Guerrero as Rey is way too healthy in a hurry. Rey goes for a chair so Chavo finds another one to crack Rey in the head, setting up the brainbuster to retain the title.

Rating: B+. What is with this show tonight? We’re almost halfway in and there has been one bad (and not even that bad) match so far. Chavo was basically wrestling himself for most of this match, which you really don’t expect out of Rey. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Mysterio is injured or at least banged up as he was so often. Chavo on the other hand is looking like the best champion in years and his matches are getting better and better every time.

Commissioner Storm moves up Kronik’s match, meaning Clark might not be tested in time.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner, which is basically “Dustin is back and was here ten years ago so therefore he’s awesome” and Rick Steiner is here because he has to be.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

Steiner is defending after Dustin pinned him on Nitro. Dustin starts fast with a DDT and clothesline as we hear about the Rhodes vs. Flair feud. A missed crossbody sends Dustin outside and it’s time for the brawling. Rick slowly pounds away and rakes the eyes, making sure he has as little wrestling involved as possible.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s off to a half crab. It’s off to another chinlock until Dustin gets a jawbreaker (more like a Diamond Cutter) to escape. A clothesline puts Rick down again but he won’t sell a faceplant. Dustin’s bulldog sends the champ outside but the referee takes a chair away from Rhodes. During the argument, Rick takes the turnbuckle pad off and a hotshot onto the steel retains the title.

Rating: D. Rick Steiner sucks and I’m not sure I need to go much further than that. It doesn’t help that Dustin is such an uninteresting character with his clotheslines and bulldogs as we wait on the latest chapter in Dusty vs. Ric. This is probably the best example of WCW’s biggest problem: old guys hogging spots with no one else ever getting a chance. I’m no fan of his but Shane Douglas has been tossed aside in this whole thing for the sake of Steiner and that’s a downgrade at this point. At least Shane can cut a good heel promo.

Post match Rick beats on him even more but Dustin fights back and hits Shattered Dreams.

Ric tells Storm that everyone not on their team needs to be out of the building after their match. Also, Kronik vs. Totally Buff is now a #1 contenders match. Storm says consider it done. This has been your most recent plot advancement.

Diamond Dallas Page gives Cat a pep talk.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Before the match, Totally Buff has to laugh that Goldberg is gone. After getting through that, Buff says Clark hasn’t been medically released so this is a handicap match. Clark comes out but gets blasted in the head by a Buff chair shot to really make this two on one. Bagwell keeps moving to break up a full nelson slam and it’s an early double teaming to keep Adams in trouble. A double back elbow gets two and it’s off to Luger to stay on the back.

Adams makes a big comeback with some clotheslines and throws Bagwell at Luger. The super Blockbuster is broken up and here’s Clark into the ring as…..Bryan Clark comes out to the stage. IT’S A SWERVE as the Clark who was laid out earlier (when Kronik’s mood lighting was still on) was actually Mike Awesome in disguise. Mike lays out Adams with a German suplex, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin and the title shot at Greed.

Rating: D-. When I have to sit and try to figure out how many parts there were to a swerve, it might be a bit too complicated. It also doesn’t help that this is a match we’ve seen so many times already in recent weeks that all the novelty or interest in it has gone away. Bad on so many levels, not the least of which is Luger getting a title shot at the next pay per view.

The announcers talk about the swerve with Hudson pointing out that Storm must have been in on it, not realizing that Tony JUST SAID THAT. Bobby Heenan used to do that as a gag with Monsoon. Hudson does it because he’s not that bright.

Storm ejects Kronik from the building but they beat up security.

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Winner is Commissioner, though if Cat wins it doesn’t take effect until midnight. Before the match we get a quick fan poll to decide who the people want as commissioner. Storm rides him to the mat to start and slaps him in the back of the head for fun. A spinning kick to the face sends Lance outside but he sends Cat into the barricade. Cat’s leg is bent around the ropes to start the build towards the Mapleleaf. Hudson says Cat won’t give up that easily because he wants that corner office back.

Storm kicks the leg out to break up a comeback bid but he takes too long going up and gets slammed back down. The leg is wrapped around the post though and Cat is down again. That lasts all of ten seconds before he comes back with his dancing offense, including the elbow drop. There’s a kick to the head but cue Mike Sanders, who is quickly taken down by Miss Jones (who is looking great tonight). The Feliner puts Storm away and makes Cat Commissioner again.

Rating: D. Thank goodness our six day international crisis is over. This could have been a lot worse but the key thing here was keeping it short. Cat is only going to be able to do so much in the ring, even with a technician like Storm out there doing most of the work for him. This was more of a spectacle, but Storm really should have been out of power longer.

Quick recap of Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is mainly over Jarrett having Page arrested (went nowhere) before bringing Page’s old enemy Kanyon back to feud with Page again.

Cat is the new Commissioner but Ric has thrown him out of the building.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Not so fast because Jeff brings up Page saying he would fight Kanyon anywhere anytime.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Kanyon sneaks in from behind but Page is ready for him with the discus lariat. They head outside with Kanyon going into the barricade a few times. Kanyon sends him in as well though, followed by a Fameasser from the apron onto the steps. Page has some blood on his eye as Kanyon suplexes him from the bottom rope back in for two. Another Fameasser (which Tony calls innovative) gets two more for Kanyon and we hit an innovative chinlock.

Back up and Kanyon uses Page’s swinging neckbreaker for two as there is a lot more blood in a hurry. Page fights back with a swinging Rock Bottom, only to eat a sitout Alabama Slam for another near fall. Kanyon hits the Cutter but the referee goes down, allowing Jarrett to come in with the Stroke. A Flatliner puts Page away.

Rating: C+. These are two guys who are going to have a good match with almost anyone you put out there and that’s what we got here. The Kanyon Cutter should have finished the match but at least the right person won here. Kanyon should have been a big deal but all the heel turns and time off really held him back.

Post match Kanyon introduces Jarrett for the original match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tony is saying Page just went “Ten, fifteen, twelve minutes” against Kanyon because just over eight minutes is close enough to twelve or fifteen. They fight into the crowd with Jarrett rocking the staggered Page with right hands. Back to ringside with Page sending him into the announcers’ table, only to be hit in the ribs with a few chair shots. Jeff drops some slow shots to the head but gets caught by the discus lariat. Sleeper, counter sleeper, jumping DDT from Page for a change of pace instead of the belly to back.

Back up and Page keeps slugging away with Jarrett going face first into the buckle over and over. Cue Kanyon, who Tony wants knocked out with a ball bat. Now come on Tony. You know it’s the ball bat that sets up the finisher which knocks people out around here. Jeff chairs Page down for two but the guitar hits Kanyon by mistake, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Hudson: “THAT IS A PERFORMANCE FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS!” For having back to back long TV matches?

Rating: C+. Despite a lot of the flack Page gets, he’s always going to give you a good match if he’s allowed the chance. It probably won’t be the best thing in the world but at least you’re guaranteed something totally watchable at worst, which is something WCW is severely lacking at this point.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash. Basically Nash is standing up for WCW but Steiner hit him in the knee with a pipe on Nitro.

Ric Flair comes out for commentary on the main event.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending but before we have the match, let’s look at the Sid Vicious injury to show how bad Scott can be to people. Ric has an announcement to make: the loser has to retire, which apparently was the ruling in the envelope. Nash is wheeled out with some good looking nurses and the leg in a cast. It looks like a countout but Nash stands up and we’re ready to go. A belt shot to Steiner’s head pins him in 12 seconds.

Of course that’s not it as Flair says it’s 2/3 falls and no DQ. We cut to the back to see Totally Buff lay out Page in the back as Nash beats on Steiner at ringside. Nash slowly hammers away before clotheslining him out to the floor. Midajah offers a distraction so Steiner can hit Nash in the head with a pipe. Flair makes it falls count anywhere so Steiner pins him on the floor for the second fall.

Some brass knuckles shots have Nash in even more trouble as the crowd is groaning as they’re far from impressed here. Both guys are bleeding and Steiner keeps hammering away at the cut on Nash’s head. The push-ups elbow gets two followed by the t-bone suplex for the same. Another knuckles shot is blocked with Nash hitting a side slam to put both guys down.

Midajah pulls the knuckles away from Nash but Flair sends in a chair so Nash can be knocked out (Tony: “He’s dead!”). The Recliner is broken up (with Tony acting like Nash is the new Goldberg as a result) and Nash gets two off a chokeslam with Midajah making the save. The Jackknife connects but Midajah interferes AGAIN, earning herself a side slam. Flair pulls the referee out and punches him in the jaw, allowing Steiner to get in a low blow, knuckles shot, chair shot and the Recliner to retain.

Rating: F. Nash isn’t exactly the new Goldberg because it didn’t take this much to put Goldberg down. You could see what they were going for as soon as Nash pinned him off the belt shot and it was just a bunch of Tony treating Nash like the greatest thing that ever lived for the rest of the match. Nash actually wouldn’t wrestle in WCW again so for once they did something right, though I’d be surprised if he wasn’t on Nitro tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of a show where you knew exactly what you were going to get out of each match. Six man cruiserweight elimination? Good stuff. Lance Storm vs. The Cat? Waste of time. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner? Oh please. The big surprise though was how much good stuff there actually was and the show was very nice as a result. I can’t imagine anything else they’ll have will top this but at least it was nice to have one more easy show to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – February 14, 2001: An Acceptable Valentine’s Day Present

Thunder
Date: February 14, 2001
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This show is the equivalent of going to the gas station and buying your significant other transmission fluid for Valentine’s Day. It’s also the final show before SuperBrawl and believe it or not there’s something advertised for this week. Tonight we’ll be seeing Hugh Morrus/Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./The Wall as two feuds are combined into one. Let’s get to it.

Nitro montage opens things up.

We see an exclusive clip of Kevin Nash being loaded into an ambulance after Nitro went off the air.

Opening sequence.

Commissioner Lance Storm is here in a suit and tells Mike Awesome he’ll be wrestling tonight. Scott Steiner comes in and demands a match so he can hurt someone.

Jamie Knoble/Evan Karagias vs. Air Paris/AJ Styles

Well this is a bit more interesting. The winners are in the #1 contenders match on Sunday. AJ drives Noble into the corner to start as Tenay talks about how great he’s heard Styles is. Believe it or not, Tenay points out that his finisher, the Shooting Styles Press is in fact named after himself. AJ dropkicks Jamie into the corner as everything breaks down and the newcomers clear the ring.

In a somewhat dangerous move, AJ backdrops Paris over the top onto both guys with Paris slightly banging up his knee. Back in and it’s Evan vs. Paris with the rookie grabbing a sitout spinebuster. Styles comes in and gets a cheap shot on Noble but gets decked from behind to change control.

Something like a Trash Compactor gets two on AJ before Jamie grabs a surfboard. Noble can’t get a tombstone as AJ grabs a pop up powerbomb for the hot tag off to Paris so everything can break down. Evan hits a great looking springboard plancha to take Styles out, setting up a Doomsday Device on Paris.

Jamie and Evan actually get in a fight over who can cover though, despite both of them moving on if they win. The delay lets Styles get back in but he takes a 450. Paris makes a save and the fans (along with me) are surprised that wasn’t the finish. AJ busts out his Shooting Styles Press to the floor (meaning it’s not actually a press) but takes out his partner by mistake. Back in and a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo puts Styles away.

Rating: B. Now that’s how you debut a team. Above all else, Styles and Paris were allowed to control for a long time which helped the match seem like a bigger win for Noble and Karagias. It’s also clear that AJ was the better prospect of the team as Paris was more of your run of the mill indy guy who happened to get a shot on TV.

Storm gives Mike Sanders Kwee Wee for later tonight.

Sean O’Haire tells Mark Jindrak to look into his eyes and fear what he sees.

We run down the SuperBrawl card.

Sean O’Haire vs. Mark Jindrak

At least it’s not Stasiak. Jindrak gets annoyed when Sean shoves him around so O’Haire punches him in the face. A running knee makes things even worse and then Sean just drops him out of a suplex. Apparently bored with beating Mark up this badly, Sean just kicks him out to the floor. To keep things going, O’Haire hits the Seanton Bomb from the apron for a nice variation on the move. He takes too long setting up the real one though and Jindrak kicks the rope to break it up.

A super hurricanrana takes Sean down for two as the fans are starting to get into this. Mark sends him to the ropes and….they presumably botch the heck out of something as we go to a shot of the crowd. Sean gets in a DDT to send Mark outside as Stasiak comes out to watch. No man, leave them alone and let them be entertaining for a change. Back in and O’Haire kicks him down to set up the Seanton Bomb for the quick pin.

Rating: C+. This was a total one man show from O’Haire as Jindrak, an athletic freak in his own right, just wasn’t keeping up with him. Sean should have been a big deal and probably put into singles action in a hurry (picture him as the super face to take down the monster Steiner down the line) but instead he’s stuck dealing with the rest of the Thrillers who are just beneath him. Like Stasiak for instance.

Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner want a match tonight and Storm smiles.

Kwee Wee vs. Mike Sanders

Kwee Wee jumps on him for some right hands as we’re in Angry Alan mode. A way too early piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop but Sanders punches the mat by mistake. Instead they head outside with Kwee Wee hurricanranaing him down. A sunset flip off the apron….does nothing because it’s on the floor so Kwee Wee throws him back inside but gets caught in a suplex for two. Kwee Wee gets in a suplex of his own and sends Sanders into the corner for some right hands. A Regal Roll gets two but Sanders grabs a rollup and the tights for the pin.

Rating: D. And so much for Kwee Wee. To be fair they had to have him lose here before he started getting too popular against their will and that just couldn’t happen. Sanders had almost no offense here and Kwee Wee did all the work but which one is getting the push? Sanders of course, mainly because he wasn’t given a dead end gimmick by WCW’s amazing braintrust.

Bryan Clark is taken out of the building as he can’t wrestle tonight. Brian Adams rants until Totally Buff beats him down. Konnan comes in for the save.

Mike Awesome promises to break the Cat’s bones so he can’t land on his feet.

Mike Awesome vs. The Cat

Awesome starts fast by throwing Cat into the corner and just mauling him with forearms. Cat’s comeback is easily shoved away as there’s no answer for the power so far. A sleeper of all things slows Cat down until he comes back with…..a wristlock? That earns him a low blow for general stupidity and they head outside. Cat tries choking him with a cable but for once the referee actually does his job and breaks it up. How convenient. Mike misses a charge but Cat kicks the post by mistake, again likely due to general stupidity. Back in and a chop block sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Miller is just not very good in the ring and it’s getting clearer every time he’s out there. Now that he’s not the Commissioner (which I’m sure he never will be again ever) there’s no hiding his uselessness and it was clear that Awesome had to tone it down again so Cat wouldn’t get squashed. Well not as squashed that is.

Diamond Dallas Page and Dustin Rhodes are ready for Rick Steiner and Jeff Jarrett tonight. Now that’s a main event worth calling your friends about. They might watch it otherwise.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./The Wall vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Hugh Morrus

Combining two feuds into one though Morrus doesn’t like either opponent in the first place. Rey and the monster start things off and for some reason, Rey tries a sunset flip. Maybe he’s been watching Cat matches to try something that stupid. It goes as badly as you would expect so Morrus comes in with a drop toehold so Rey can add a legdrop. Morrus powerslams Wall before handing it back off to Rey, who charges into a tilt-a-whirl slam. That’s better than you would expect to see from Wall.

Chavo comes in and gets caught in a quick Bronco Buster but comes back with a Gorybuster (wrong Tony) for two. Wall chokes a lot and it’s back to Chavo for a chinlock. That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go and Rey gets a breather off a hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Morrus as everything breaks down with Rey splashing Chavo from Hugh’s shoulders. A clothesline looks to set up No Laughing Matter but Chavo makes the save, leaving Rey to springboard into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Believe it or not the Wall was one of the best parts of this as he played the power role really well. Sometimes you just need a big guy around to throw a smaller person around the ring and that was where Wall excelled. Chavo vs. Rey should be good if Mysterio is ready to go while Wall vs. Morrus…..will likely me want to go make a sandwich.

Wall and Chavo beat the losers down post match.

Totally Buff make fun of Latinos before Buff faces Konnan.

Video on Nash vs. Scott Steiner.

Konnan vs. Buff Bagwell

After some Konnan rambling in what barely resembled English and Buff’s dancing, we’re ready to go. Buff chokes a lot and yells at the ref a bit before walking into a DDT for two. Back up and Buff forearms him a bit, meaning it’s time for more dancing. It’s almost like his entire offense is one move and pose. How very Justin Credible of him. A Buff chinlock slows things down even further and here’s Lex Luger for some nefarious reason. Konnan makes his comeback with his usual stuff but Luger sneaks in with the forearm to break up the Tequila Sunrise. Buff grabs a Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Actually not horrible here with Buff working on the neck to set up the neckbreaker but you can only go so far when Buff’s offense is almost the same as it was when he debuted ten years ago. There’s something to be said for getting on the crowd’s nerves with posing etc. but that’s more than half of what Buff does in a match. It’s ok to actually wrestle every now and then.

Brian Adams was trying to limp out for the save but couldn’t get there in time.

Scott Steiner destroys catering because he wants Nash. Like he’d ever work back to back Thunders.

Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner/Jeff Jarrett

So just last week’s match with Rhodes swapped in for Nash. That might actually be a downgrade for once. Jarrett says this is the world’s largest inbred family reunion and tonight is Page’s last stop. It’s a brawl to start (of course) with all four heading out to the floor. We settle down to Dustin missing a charge at Jarrett and getting beaten down by Steiner.

Page gets the tag and comes in with a top rope clothesline and neckbreaker for two. It’s back to Dustin but Jeff knees him in the back so Steiner can get in a belly to belly suplex. The double teaming continues until we get the sleeper/belly to back sequence with Jarrett. Page comes in and cleans house with the clotheslines until Steiner decks him from behind, setting up the Steiner Bulldog. A bonus Stroke is enough to put Page away.

Rating: D+. They were smart to keep this one short but the match worked well enough with three good workers and Rick Steiner there to fill in a fourth spot. It’s also a good idea to combine two feuds into one match as if nothing else you don’t have to hear Mike and Tony talk about these feuds twice. I still don’t know what WCW saw in this version of Dustin but I’m sure it’s something about being a cowboy.

Post match Scott Steiner comes in with a pipe to go after Page’s knee but everyone else comes out for a brawl with security breaking it up until Scott breaks a guard’s leg to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was actually one of their stronger entries with a really strong first half hour and bad matches going short enough that they didn’t drag the whole thing down. I’m sure the fact that Nash and Flair weren’t on the show had nothing to do with it of course. It’s not that they’re playing their roles well (especially Nash actually) but the story isn’t interesting when it leads to Nash getting ANOTHER title shot on Sunday. Anyway better show than usual this week though that’s not exactly saying much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – February 7, 2001: Yul Brynner Would Be Disappointed

Thunder
Date: February 7, 2001
Location: Bankcorpsouth Center, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Amazingly enough, we’re coming in off a surprise heel turn this past Monday as Rick Steiner joined up with Flair’s group to reunited with his brother yet again. They really aren’t even hiding the fact that this is another NWO clone and I really don’t think anyone minds at this point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner’s rough night, which means he wrestled about ten minutes over three matches.

Shane Helms vs. Kaz Hayashi

This is a qualifying match for a six man elimination #1 contenders match at SuperBrawl. Kaz flips out of a wristlock to start and runs over Shane with a shoulder. Shane flips up and it’s an early standoff. Kaz gets smart and kicks at the leg but his springboard DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex over the top. Helms hits a big cross body to the floor but bangs up his knee in the process.

Back in and Kaz moonsaults over and before headscissoring Shane right back to the floor. Kaz gets in a dive of his own but can’t hit a top rope hurricanrana. A good looking superkick puts Kaz down and a running neckbreaker does it again. Shane wants the Vertebreaker but here’s Chavo Guerrero for a distraction, allowing Kaz to grab a German suplex for the upset.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise and I can dig the idea of Chavo being worried about facing Helms again in the future and taking him out here. Kaz winning is a bit odd but there’s not much of a chance of him adse corner before breaking up an enziguri with another right hand. Smiley jumps over him in the corner and does a bit of dancing but stops to look for Glacier. A clothesline sets up the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

Post match Mark Jindrak comes in as a distraction so Shawn Stasiak can come in for the beatdown. Something is edited out as O’Haire came back in from the apron and kicks both guys down. The beatdown is on again until Palumbo makes the save.

Flair gives Sanders Konnan tonight.

Team Canada comes out with Storm picking Elix Skipper to face Cat.

The Cat vs. Elix Skipper

Cat superkicks him to start but Skipper pops up and starts hitting on Miss Jones. At least he has good taste. Skipper takes him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Cat starts firing off the kicks, followed by a running ax handle and the Feliner for the quick pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual as being the Commissioner (which may have been on the line here but it wasn’t clear) doesn’t mean a ton aside from just opposing Flair. Skipper should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt and Cat should be doing almost anything other than being a regular wrestler but at least he has a personality.

Post match Storm offers a distraction so Mike Awesome can take Cat out.

Totally Buff is ready for Kronik. They should be after facing them so many times.

Chavo Guerrero asks Wall to take out Rey Mysterio tonight. Hugh Morrus is heard laughing.

Kwee Wee asks a few jobbers (one of whom is Chris Harris) to fight him later tonight. One of them doesn’t take kindly to this and seems game later.

Flair tells Scott Steiner to worry about Nash and ignore everything else.

Lex Luger vs. Brian Adams

Adams sends him head first into the announcers’ table to start and drops him onto the barricade for good measure. They get inside for the first time with Adams raking his boots across the eyes, followed by some choking in the corner. Luger pulls him outside and sends Adams head first into the steps before a whip sends him into “the rail of pain.” Back in and we hit the posing, followed by a backbreaker for two.

Lex stays on the bad back with a suplex and even more posing. Now we go old school with a bearhug until Adams powers out and hits a backbreaker of his own. Cue Buff Bagwell but Adams drops him with a single right hand. The full nelson slam puts Luger away clean in a bit of a surprise.

Rating: D-. It’s rarely a good sign when the best thing you can say about a match is that it had a clean ending. Adams winning with a simple full nelson slam was a surprise but at least the interference didn’t mean anything. Also it’s nice to see Luger putting people over instead of fighting Goldberg on three straight pay per views as it seems he’s FINALLY learning his place.

Bryan Clark runs in for the post match save.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. The Wall

Wall has Chavo with him. As usual the announcers act like Rey is going to die because they’ve never watched Mysterio vs. a bigger guy. Rey goes after the knee to start but springboards into a one armed gorilla press. A sleeper has a bit more success on the big man until he drives Rey back first into the corner. Wall throws him outside so Chavo can get in some cheap shots.

Rey’s knee goes into the steps and Wall chokes him while standing on the announcers’ table. A hard whip sends Rey chest first into the buckle as the announcers think the match should be stopped. Wall misses a top rope legdrop and Rey hits the springboard seated senton with Chavo making the save. That earns him a big flip dive but here’s Hugh Morrus to electric chair Wall off the top and hit No Laughing Matter to give Rey the pin.

Rating: D. So to clarify, the greatest cruiserweight of all time has to get beaten down for five minutes and then saved by Hugh Morrus to set up a match between Morrus and Wall at SuperBrawl. Naturally they had no choice but to put these feuds together and have Mysterio look like a goon whose career was saved. At least he won though and that helps a lot. It was a rough way to get there but the right guy won and that helps a lot.

Mysterio and Morrus clean house post match.

Here’s Kwee Wee for his usual “I’m all man” speech. Tony: “Is it just me or is his hair crooked?” And that’s your latest reason why Kwee Wee is going nowhere. Kwee Wee calls out a fan and it’s time for a fight.

Kwee Wee vs. ???

A few right hands give Kwee Wee a pin.

Here’s the guy Kwee Wee called out earlier tonight with a missile dropkick and we have another match.

Kwee Wee vs. Johnny Dodson

Kwee Wee beats him down with ease and ends Dodson with a piledriver in just over a minute. It would be nice for this to go somewhere but I doubt Kwee Wee is considered important enough to get such attention.

Konnan vs. Mike Sanders

For some reason I can’t picture the Mississippi crowd being that into Konnan’s odd way of speaking. Tony: “Word.” Konnan gets two off a rollup to start but Sanders rolls into a crucifix for two of his own. The mat work goes to Konnan as he grabs something like a standing figure four but sitting on the leg instead of pulling back on it.

The announcers talk about the new owners doing something about Flair as Sanders drops a knee on Konnan’s chest. A clothesline puts Konnan down for no cover because Sanders is busy yelling at the crowd. Sanders puts on a cobra clutch for a bit before Konnan comes back with the rolling lariat. The X Factor sets up the Tequila Sunrise for the clean submission.

Rating: D+. Sanders is someone who looks like he has potential but doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere. Konnan is actually not the worst worker in the world as his normal stuff is entertaining enough though it’s hard to get into whatever nonsense he says before the match. It’s also amazing how much better he is when he’s just being himself and not pulling “pranks” with the Filthy Animals.

Don Harris says he now has a manager’s license. Normally I would ask how bad the commission that issues licenses must be but it seems that they’re avoiding Harris Brothers matches so they’re smarter than I am.

Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs. Insiders

The Insiders clean house to start and thankfully they’re not wasting the “big” match of the Insiders vs. the Steiners on a nothing show like this. Page and Jarrett get things going with Jeff taking a hard clothesline (with authority according to Tenay) before getting crotched against the post. Rick comes in and blasts Page in the face because he’s Rick Steiner and therefore gets to beat up anyone he wants.

It’s time for the heels to take turns beating on Page before Steiner slaps on a chinlock about two minutes in. That’s never a good sign which is why it’s standard Rick Steiner procedure. Jeff puts on a sleeper because he’s a master of the hold according to Tony. Don’t you have to win a match with it to be a master?

Page escapes with the belly to back (a master wouldn’t allow that) but Rick comes in with a belly to belly to prevent the hot tag. Page finally punches Jarrett down and it’s Nash coming in for a bunch of right hands and boots. The Jackknife puts Steiner away and for once that’s a bad ending as you don’t want a new champion losing when Jarrett is right there.

Rating: D+. This was fine, albeit the same boring main event you would expect on Thunder. Page is always going to be solid and Jeff can be his normally dull self but the other two are clearly just there because they’re paid to be and aren’t going to put in any effort above the minimum. The clean ending was nice for a change, though it should have been Jarrett.

Scott Steiner, Totally Buff and Kronik come out for the standoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bunch of bad wrestling and more of the same boring stable vs. stable feud that has been dominating the company for weeks now. It’s not the worst story or anything but it’s so repetitive at this point because WCW has done it so many times in the last few years. So many of the stories are stuck in limbo and it’s getting rough to sit through every single week. At least Rick Steiner lost though and that’s always a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – January 29, 2001: The Moral Of The Story

Monday Nitro #275
Date: January 29, 2001
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

It’s always weird to me when we reach the last every episode in a given month but this is the final ever episode of Monday Nitro in January. Ok so maybe this is just a way to fill in an opening because there isn’t much to talk about at the moment other than Nash vs. Steiner coming up in a few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Elix Skipper vs. Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble

One fall to a finish. The big story for this match: WCW is bringing back TIME LIMITS. Noble and Yang do a wrestling sequence to start until Yang grabs a neckbreaker to send Noble outside. Skipper dives out onto him and it’s Shannon vs. Yang inside. Bottoms Up (Fameasser) drops Yang but Skipper has to break up Noble’s German suplex attempt on Shannon. Yang gets crotched on top, followed by Noble front suplexing Skipper for no cover.

Moore is sent outside and all three hit dives in a nice sequence that you only get in cruiserweight melees. Yang drops all of them with an Asai Moonsault and it’s time for a breather. Back in and Shannon slams Skipper off the top for two as Yang makes the save. Noble amps things up by tombstoning Yang on the floor before shoving Skipper off the ropes. Jamie tries a superplex on Shannon but gets reversed into a super Bottoms Up to give Moore the pin.

Rating: C+. What else were you expecting here as you have four talented guys getting to fly around the ring for a bit. Unfortunately they only had a few minutes, which is an annoying reality of this new era. These guys are on more shows but their time has dropped significantly. You can only get so far with four people involved in a five minute match but at least it’s fun while it lasts.

Here are Ric Flair and Animal for a chat. First of all we get the required Baltimore Ravens insults despite them winning the Super Bowl the day before. Anyway, Flair thinks the Cat might be out of office soon and accuses Page and Nash of showing up drunk on Thunder. We see a shot of them knocked out in the locker room, presumably due to an attack by Ric Flair and/or various other villains.

Therefore, Nash has to qualify for the World Title match at SuperBrawl again tonight by beating Totally Buff in a handicap match. Nash is annoyed in the back and it gets worse as Flair says he has a new contract for another incoming star. I could go for a Tommy Rogers cameo but I was always a Fantastics fan.

We see a bit more complete clip from Thunder with the heels leaving Nash’s locker room.

Jeff Jarrett doesn’t want to wait until SuperBrawl to face Page.

A guy bumps into Midajah so Scott Steiner breaks his leg. Does no one understand the concept of a lawsuit around here?

Here are the Cat and Miss Jones for some dancing before Cat says he wants to fight someone. Cue Shawn Stasiak and Mark Jindrak with the latter of them being sent to the back (And called Beetlejuice for some reason. I don’t see the Art Barr resemblance but I don’t have my glasses on.).

Stasiak implies that he’ll be Commissioner if he wins and says first up is going to be a Tag Team Title shot against Palumbo and O’Haire.

The Cat vs. Shawn Stasiak

Jones kicks him in the chest and it’s time for Cat to choke a lot. Cat goes up but dives into an elbow to the jaw, allowing Stasiak to send him outside. A few whips send Cat into the announcers’ table and the post before he clotheslines Cat back inside. Cat actually uses a headscissors before crotch chopping his way out of a sunset flip. The Feliner puts Stasiak away.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of two guys who need backup help to put in a good match and it’s really sad to see them get stuck out there with such a horrible match. Cat defending the Commissionership isn’t an interesting idea, especially when there’s no way someone as worthless as Stasiak is going to take it away from him.

The Wall is outside of Chavo’s locker room when Hugh Morrus comes in and beats the tar out of him.

Mike Sanders tells Crowbar that he has Lance Storm tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page was at a book signing earlier today when a fan started running his mouth and got in a fight. Page broke it up and that’s about it.

A black Humvee arrives.

Luger and Bagwell have a partner for Chavo tonight.

Jeff Jarrett is ready for DDP at SuperBrawl.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Road Warrior Animal vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

…they’re going to squash Mysterio and Kidman aren’t they? Kidman and Guerrero start things off but Chavo wants Mysterio. It’s just a ruse though, allowing Guerrero to get in a few kicks to the ribs to start off. That’s fine with Kidman who takes over and brings in Rey for something like a double sitout chokeslam. Kidman comes back in and it’s time for a baseball slide between the legs, followed by the Bronco Buster.

Rey’s middle rope moonsault connects but he lets Chavo makes the tag. The destruction is immediate as Rey and Kidman literally bounce off of Animal, who throws them both around like nothing. Some double dropkicks have Animal down though but a powerslam to Kidman and a powerbomb to Rey allow Chavo to pin Mysterio with ease.

Rating: D. So to recap, Mysterio and Kidman beat up the Cruiserweight Champion for about two and a half minutes before Animal, a grizzled veteran who had barely wrestled in years, destroyed them both at once with ease. That’s life in WCW people and it’s a big reason why you don’t see them around anymore.

The Humvee doors open.

We see part of Flair’s speech earlier.

Here’s Ric Flair to reveal the big new talent which is……Dustin Rhodes. Raise your hand if this actually surprises you. The announcers treat this like a huge deal as Ric thinks Dustin should be in a suit instead of cowboy boots. Dustin wants to know what’s wrong with being a cowboy. Well nothing until you’re about eight and then you kind of look dumb. They yell at each other a bit and Dustin turns down the offer to be on the team and the contract as well.

Cue Animal to help beat Dustin down until Dusty Rhodes makes his return (after turning his back on WCW last time) to clear the ring. So to clarify: Animal can destroy Rey Mysterio and Kidman but Dusty Rhodes can clear him out in a few seconds. To make it even better, Dusty talks about how Flair has been holding back talented people to push his friends. The Rhodes Family is here to clean up WCW and the fans seem very pleased with the idea.

Lance Storm vs. Crowbar

Before the match, Storm says Team Canada supports Flair and company. Ever the troublemaker, Crowbar jumps Storm during the national anthem. The other Canadians help Storm with a superkick and it’s an early beatdown for Crowbar in the corner. A comeback via clotheslines is cut off with a knee lift and we’re already in the chinlock. Crowbar fights up and tries a Tombstone (becoming too common of a move) but has to settle for a reverse DDT for two instead.

A belly to back suplex sets up a slingshot splash for two on Lance, followed by a moonsault out to the floor. Is there a reason Crowbar never got a run near the Cruiserweight Title? It’s not like he can’t fly around and he has more charisma than half of the division. Storm comes back with some German suplexes but gets caught in a northern lights suplex. They head up top with Crowbar trying a hurricanrana, only to get countered into the Maple Leaf for the quick submission.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and I’m sure the fact that it’s the longest match of the night so far has nothing to do with that. I’d love to see Crowbar actually go somewhere beyond just jobbing like this but I really can’t imagine that happening. I mean, the guy used to work in a gas station and it’s not like can just give him a new character and backstory or something like that.

Flair gives Storm the Cat at SuperBrawl for the Commissionership. Now that’s better as you could imagine Storm actually pulling that off.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Actually not so fast as Page is arrested for assault due to breaking up that fight at his book signing. Apparently Page accidentally bumped into a kid during the incident and the kid is the one pressing charges.

Flair thinks this is awesome.

Rick Steiner vs. Shane Douglas

Non-title. Steiner is here to do Cat’s dirty work so Shane made sure the title wasn’t on the line here, which translates to Steiner is going over. Schiavone thinks Steiner is one of the best WCW performers in the last ten years. Douglas gets in a few shots to the back to start before Rick just beats him down like he was Dean Douglas all over again.

Douglas begs off before throwing the referee at Steiner for a breather. The distraction lets Shane grab an Indian Deathlock though he’ll be lucky if Steiner even bothers to limp. I would appear to be right as Steiner pops up and grabs a suplex before…..I think a headlock takeover is botched as Shane tries to do something like a rollup.

Shane grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two before the Pittsburgh Plunge gets the same. Hudson: “Rick’s brother Scott would be proud.” Of what? That the brother he doesn’t like at the moment kicked out of the US Champion’s finisher? The chain is easily broken up as the Steiner Line sets up the bulldog, followed by a Death Valley Driver to make the champ job.

Rating: D. Rick Steiner is not very good and there isn’t much of another way to put it. The booking here continues to baffle me as Rick gets pushed like this every single time he comes back. I’d be stunned if he doesn’t wind up with the US Title out of this because he just needs it so badly and is clearly a draw because he’s reached the age where you become one without having to actually, you know, wrestle well in the slightest.

Kevin Nash vs. Totally Buffed

Before the match, Luger and Bagwell rip on the Raven. Apparently winning the Super Bowl doesn’t count because the real Baltimore team moved to Indianapolis so this is a sham. I’m not sure what they were going for there but it really didn’t work as the fans almost cheered. Nash comes out and pulls Buff to the floor in an attempt to make it 2-1, only to have Buff come back in.

It’s Kevin Nash though so he clotheslines them both down and chokeslams Buff, only to have Luger hit him low. A lot of choking ensues until Nash sends Buff outside and hits Snake Eyes into the Jackknife on Luger. So to recap: Goldberg spends three months fighting Luger and Nash can hit his finisher on him in three minutes with Buff Bagwell in the same match.

Bagwell pulls the ref so here’s Alex Wright of all people in a referee shirt. Wright stops to dance though, earning himself a beating. Another Jackknife to Bagwell allows Cat to come in for two with Wright pulling him out. Guys it’s a short Nitro main event and we’re at two run-ins and three referees. Not that it matters anyway as Cat ducks Wright’s punch and slides back in to count the pin on Bagwell.

Rating: D. As mentioned, this was more about all the shenanigans than anything going on during the match because Bischoff and company think that’s how you build someone up. This was much more about Nash than anyone else as you want him to look strong but you shouldn’t have two of your top heels losing this badly. In other words, just let Nash beat Luger, assuming Nash is old enough to do that yet.

Post match Nash wants Steiner but we’re out of time.

Overall Rating: D+. You really can see the line between the generations here as the old guys suck while the young guys are working as hard as they can with the limitations they’re put under. They don’t get time and they’re often there as cannon fodder for the old guys (Kidman and Mysterio getting treated that way by ANIMAL was disgusting) but they’re putting in as much effort as they can.

That’s probably a big reason why Mysterio is a multiple time WWE World Champion and Kidman had a very nice WWE run before getting a job as a producer. In other words: no matter how little time you’re given out there, someone is going to see it at some point and if you’re good enough and work hard enough, you’ll get a break somewhere down the line.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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