IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 17, 2006
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 16,108
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We are less than two weeks away from Backlash and that means it’s probably time for another handicap match this week. The three way feud between Edge, John Cena and HHH continues, which makes it a lot easier to sit through than Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince: “The question is, will Mr. McMahon go to h***?” Vince was asked that last week by Shane and tonight he needs to set the record straight. The answer is no, because he was there this morning when his driver got lost and he wound up in east St. Louis. He respects all religions and tonight he is going to announce his own. That would be McMahonism, which is based on the principle that he is lord and master of all sports entertainment. Everyone involved with wrestling will worship him, whether you are in the ring or if you buy a ticket.

That makes McMahon wonder what would happen if McMahonism had been around at various points in history. We see a version of Michelangelo’s The Creation Of Adam with McMahon in the middle, with McMahon of course talking about his endowment. Then we have Moses coming down Mt. Cyanide carrying the Ten Commandments while McMahon has his Muscle and Fitness cover. There are some commandments of McMahonism as well. These include screw unto others, do not covet they neighbor’s wife unless she is really hot.

Back to the photos, with McMahon at the Last Supper. Or what if McMahonism went to Asia? That means a photo of him with a statue of Buddha. And another one at Shea Stadium with the Pope. The fans accurately describe this as boring so Vince talks about how we are in America where there are various freedoms. Tonight, Vince allows everyone to join his church.

Shawn Michaels certainly will not convert, but at Backlash, Shawn will worship at Vince’s feet. If he is lying, strike him down right here in this ring. Vince promises to beat Shawn tonight but here’s Shawn to superkick him and throw in a crotch chop for good measure. The joke went on WAY too long here, even though it wasn’t as long as some of the other opening segments. It wasn’t funny in the first place and then they just kept going with it, making things even worse.

Post break Vince yells at HHH for calling him an old man last week. Tonight, HHH vs. John Cena/Edge.

Rob Conway vs. Kane

Conway says he’s sick of being treated so badly and is then chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane goes outside and grabs Lilian Garcia by the throat for mentioning May 19. Big Show, in workout pants for a weird look, comes out for the save. That means a chokeslam to Kane, who sits up and smiles.

We recap Chavo Guerrero failing to win the Intercontinental Title two weeks ago and quitting as a result.

Chavo has a sitdown interview with Jim Ross. Maybe he made a hasty decision, but the more he thinks about it, the less sure he is. He made a promise to his friends, family and to Eddie Guerrero. The loss summed everything up and JR asks if quitting is honoring Eddie’s memory. Chavo thinks Eddie would have been disgusted by his loss so maybe he should go get a real estate license. JR doesn’t buy this but Chavo says his career is at an end. They shake hands but JR doesn’t seem convinced.

Coach takes over as ring announcer as Lilian is traumatized.

Shelton Benjamin vs. ???

Non-title and if Benjamin wins, the Money in the Bank contract is on the line at Backlash but if Haas wins, the title is on the line. The mystery opponent is….the returning Charlie Haas, meaning Benjamin looks like he has seen a ghost. Charlie German suplexes the look off of his face and snaps off some armdrags to keep Shelton in trouble. A clothesline puts Shelton on the floor and Haas chops away against the apron. Charlie: “DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME???” Well yeah kind of.

Back in and Shelton gets in a running clothesline to cut Haas down, followed by a hard whip into the steps. The chinlock goes on back inside but Haas fights up, only to miss a dropkick. A belly to back drops Haas again and Shelton does the Rob Van Dam finger point to set up his own Rolling Thunder. Shelton has to bail out of his own Five Star though and Haas grabs a rollup for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. Haas was looking intense here and the match wasn’t bad at all, but it is rarely a good idea to have a champion lose clean, especially when he is heading into a big match against someone else. Throw in that Shelton doesn’t have the best record over the last few months and I wasn’t wild on the pin here. They certainly did have a surprise though and Haas looked good enough.

During the break, Maria held the Kiss Cam. That is all.

Armando Alejandro Estrada comes in to see Vince McMahon and, because he is a follower of McMahonism, he offers Umaga to face Shawn Michaels tonight. Vince says it’s next so Estrada leaves. Shelton Benjamin comes in to say he saw the light that led him straight to the office. Benjamin drops to a knee and says only McMahon can save him. Vince: “I do kind of like people on their knees before me.” Shelton looks a little unsure. And moving on, thank goodness.

Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels

We take a look back at the opening segment and we’re ready to go. Shawn sticks and moves to start until Umaga blasts him with a clothesline. A kick to the chest puts Shawn on the floor and here’s Vince to watch in person. More shots to the chest have Shawn sailing over the announcers’ table and a running knee drop crushes him again back inside. The falling headbutt makes it worse but Umaga charges into a boot in the corner.

Umaga knocks him straight back down but misses the running hip attack in the corner. The forearm puts Umaga down and there’s the nip up into the top rope elbow. Estrada breaks up Sweet Chin Music and Umaga sends Shawn into the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. Another running headbutt connects and Umaga chokes away for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t do anything wrong here as it advanced the story, kept Shawn from taking a loss and gave Umaga a dominant performance. It wouldn’t make a ton of sense for someone presented as a savage to care about a disqualification so the ending is as logical as they could have had. Good enough here, especially for such a short match.

Post match Umaga beats Shawn down some more but Vince calls him off from using the Samoan Spike. Vince wants to do this himself and ties Shawn in the ropes. He goes to grab a chair….and an explosion comes out of the ring post. Then another explosion comes out of another post, sending a worried Vince running. Another explosion goes off on the stage and now we have a wall of fire keeping Vince from the ring. We officially have divine intervention.

Vince sped away in the limo during the break.

This Week In Wrestling History, Rock held a funeral for Steve Austin and revealed that he still had the Smoking Skull Title. As a result, Austin crushed Rock’s Lincoln Continental with a monster truck.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. He says what we just saw from Austin and Rock is everything wrong with this nation today. Students at his school in New York couldn’t even tell him about the Bill Of Rights so imagine how bad it is here in St. Louis. Everyone is so obsessed with being cool and being like Nelly or whomever that is rather than learning about Nixon. Everyone here gets an F, but here is Carlito to interrupt. The fans are rather pleased to see Carlito, but he isn’t happy that Striker STOLE HIS APPLE.

Teachers didn’t get him back in the day and kept sending him to detention, so he spat the teacher’s apple in his face. Carlito thinks Striker looks like his old teacher so let’s do it again. Striker has an analogy for him (Carlito: “Anal what?”) and it involves giving Carlito a beating. The fight is on but here’s Chris Masters with the Masterlock to Carlito. I never cared for Carlito as a heel so maybe the face turn can help him a bit.

Rob Van Dam vs. Spirit Squad

The Money in the Bank briefcase has been spray painted for a change. Speaking of the Money in the Bank briefcase, it is on the line along with the Intercontinental Title at Backlash should Van Dam lose here. Van Dam tries to send the Squad outside as fast as he can but they finally get him down. The High Spirits (appropriate) set up the guillotine legdrop for the pin in just over a minute.

Trish Stratus, as Mickie James, has a surprise for the real Mickie James.

There is a big gift box in the ring for James (Where do you buy those things?) and here’s Trish (as Mickie, complete with entrance and outfit) to remind us of the time where Mickie gave Trish a present just before Wrestlemania. Since Trish is going to be challenging Mickie at Backlash, she has a gift for her this time around. Cue Mickie, as Trish, to sound rather nervous about what could be in the box.

Trish insists though and it’s….Trish’s boyfriend Jack, tied to a chair. Trish ungags him and he says that he thinks “both of you b****** are crazy.” With the gag put back in, Trish sits down on his lap (the fans seem to approve) and says if Mickie is really Trish, she’ll be worried right now, but if she’s really Mickie, this means nothing.

HHH comes up to Edge and Lita in the back with Edge promising to pin HHH tonight. HHH says it’s possible, unless John Cena does something about it. What has Edge done about Cena taking his title? Think about it.

Here’s the See No Evil trailer, plus some people in the crew talking about the movie. This isn’t on the Network of course.

We look back at Kane snapping on Lilian Garcia.

Backlash rundown, including Big Show vs. Kane.

John Cena/Edge vs. HHH

Lita is here as well. HHH jumps Cena to start and Edge is more than happy to start on the apron. Cena is back up with the whips into the corner and the release fisherman’s suplex for two. A back elbow cuts Cena off though and the fans are VERY pleased. HHH throws in a crotch chop before dropping the knee for two but Cena is back up with the clotheslines.

The Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster though and now Edge is willing to tag himself in. Edge gets in a shot to Cena but then walks into a spinebuster of his own. There’s the facebuster but Edge goes old school with a spinwheel kick. Cena is back in to suplex Edge and the referee gets bumped. HHH whips out the sledgehammer and lays out Cena but walks into the spear to give Edge the pin.

Rating: D+. Just like last week, the wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s ok. I can go with everyone going for the mind games and getting the pins, as they at least have some bearing on what we will be seeing at Backlash. The falls don’t mean anything about elevating everyone and in this case, that’s an acceptable situation.

Overall Rating: C. The McMahonism stuff is going to be hit or miss for everyone and that’s understandable given the subject matter and how over the top it is. It is rather dumb, but Vince can make something like this work and is certainly trying to do so. Other than that though, Backlash is still a two match show, though Mickie vs. Trish is so goofy and borderline insane that I’m liking it more every week. They’re doing well enough for a show that is nothing but Wrestlemania fallout though and that’s a nice surprise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Fite TV

Talk N Shop A-Mania
Date: August 1, 2020
Location: Doc Gallows’ Backyard
Commentators: Karl Anderson, Doc Gallows, Rocky Romero

I really don’t know what to say about this as it is not going to be a normal wrestling show. The whole thing was filmed in Gallows’ backyard and the main event is a Boneryard (not a typo) match between the Good Brothers’ alter egos of Sex Ferguson and Chad 2 Badd, who you might remember from Southpaw Regional Wrestling. These guys can be hilarious and I’m morbidly curious about what is going on here. Let’s get to it.

Also note that I don’t listen to the podcast that helped set this up so if there are any jokes or references I don’t get, I apologize in advance.

The Good Brothers and Romero welcome us from their podcast and explain the idea of the show. They have flown people around the country to do this show with Coronavirus prevention and have some advice for us: get rather drunk and have a good time. There is no disrespect meant for anyone and it is all meant in fun with a big wink. Gallows does a Bruce Buffer style intro and recommends we take off our pants. Anderson: “And Gallows, a big f*** you for making us do this.”

What have I gotten myself into?

Anderson is filming to start and finds his “Hot Asian Wife” (he has a shirt that says “Property Of My Hot Asian Wife”) hula hooping in rather limited clothing. She finds out he’s there and offers to flash the camera, sending Anderson running off.

We cut to Anderson arriving at the house (in a HAW, for Hot Asian Wife, shirt) and helps Rocky Romero out of the back of his truck. They walk into Gallows’ backyard and find Teddy Long, who is here “To get f****** paid. Now step back six feet.” They keep going and Dave Penzer handles their intro as they go through an entrance and, after another quick walk, they find the ring. The trio welcomes us to the show, with a wide shot showing that they are all alone with Penzer and the cameraman. Oh and one more camerawoman on a wide shot.

Chad 2 Badd (Anderson) doesn’t like the idea of Sex Ferguson (Gallows) thinking he was the leader of the team.

Ferguson rants about Badd messing everything up and being influenced by Paul Layman. The Boneryard match is on and Gallows does an Undertaker eye roll while promising to make Chad “rest in feces.”

Commentary welcomes us to the show and give us a quick explanation of how this whole thing came together. The Good Brothers aren’t sure who wins the main event, but Romero likes ham.

Battle Royal

That’s a social distancing battle royal of course and Chavo Guerrero jumps in on commentary. We’re on a wide shot so I’m not even sure who all is involved and most of them don’t get an entrance (I’ll leave the name off because there are a bunch of surprise entrants). Beach (I think that’s his name at least) has a bunch of pool noodles under his arms. Manning, the Manscout, walks out through the entrance with his scout guide (it’s his thing) after the bell rings and everyone else is in the ring. He’s joined by a rather large man named Freight Train and the two join everyone else. Train dumps Rozelli, plus three more guys (only one is named as Little Knobbs) and then Manning. Gallows: “I kind of wish we were back in New York!”

Lazer, who looks like Hurricane (or “who looks like that guy we can’t name” according to Anderson) dives onto the pile at ringside but here’s Stang (appears to be Anderson in a Sting costume, complete with face paint, but might be Heath Slater) to point the bat at him. That goes nowhere but Mike Bennett runs in, looks around, and eliminates himself. Everyone left in the ring beats Beach with the pool noodles and toss him out. Gallows begs the wrestlers not to sue him because he doesn’t have a job anymore but stops because he realizes Pillman is in this thing.

The guy in the blue jacket is eliminated and it’s Pillman into a wrestling sequence with Sgt. Hammerlock. Train very slowly (on purpose) clotheslines them down and throws Hammerlock out. We’re down to Train and Pillman but here’s Alex Kozlov (the podcast editor) to join things. Kozlov lights up a cigarette and kicks Train in the corner before taking Pillman down.

Cue Kozlov’s bearded mother (that’s what she’s called) to beat on him with a purse. She does the same to Train and Pillman helps her get rid of him before Mother clears the ring. Hold on though as here’s Chico El Luchador (Rocky Romero in a mask, complete with surgical mask as a bonus, and Chavo HATES him) to Stun Mother and throw her out for the win at 6:50 (in theory, as there are no bells on this show).

Rating: D+. As you might have guessed, the match quality has absolutely nothing to do with the value of the show here as they are riffing on every single thing taking place. This was almost a parody of a battle royal and I had a good time with it, which is all you can say about something like this one. The run ins were fun and knowing the wrestlers wasn’t the point.

Post match Chico makes the belt motion to Chavo, who really isn’t happy. Chico gets a belt as Chavo accuses him of being from Bolivia. Oh and he’ll shoot Chico.

Gallows talks to Kozlov, who doesn’t speak much English. He blames his mother, who runs up and beats him with the purse. Anderson: “HIS MOTHER IS REAL!”

Ferguson arrives and asks Mike Bennett for pills. Bennett hands them over and speeds off before his wife finds out.

Penzer: “And I thought Sturgis sucked.” Teddy Long comes up to laugh at him.

Frankie Coverdale vs. Paul Lee

This is a Contract On A Tree match and Lee is doing a pretty awesomely bad Ric Flair impression, including driving onto Gallows’ lawn in a Corvette. As he walks to the ring, he passes a dancing Maria Kanellis in a swimsuit but in the next shot she is replaced by a rather heavy woman in the same kind of outfit. Commentary cracks up over the ridiculously long entrance, including ranting about how Lee wipes his feet before getting in the ring but no one wiped their feet before coming into the house.

Lee’s trunks say “Ric WHO” and they touch elbows to start. Coverdale, who I believe was in the battle royal, grabs a waistlock to start but Lee gyrates his way out. Lee throws him outside….and Coverdale just runs off towards a pond, which Gallows says isn’t even on his property, for the countout at about 1:40. Well that was quick. No tree was ever shown, but then again what would the contract be for?

Chico brags about winning the title and talks about the heat his family has with the Guerreros. He wants Chavo in a title match, if the Good Brothers have the money.

We cut back to Lee headlocking Coverdale in the middle of a field and shouting WOO a lot. Gallows tries to conduct an interview but gives up.

George North vs. Stump Kowalski

This is a hardcore match and Stump looks like a Hornswoggle sized Big Papa Pump. Kowalski 2x4s him down and we cut to another shot to North’s back, with commentary bragging about their crazy editing skills. They head outside with Stump swinging a kendo stick in slow motion but only hitting post. North grabs a headlock and drags him off as he rains in right hands. Commentary says this is officially terrible….and the match just ends at about 1:05.

Time to thank sponsors.

Back with the fight up by the pool, with the Rock N Roll Express watching, along with some other unidentified wrestlers. They run into Lee still headlocking Coverdale and head into the house, where we’re fast forwarded to a bedroom, where Brian Myers and some kids are playing with the old WWF ring (I have that) and the awesome Hasbro line of figures. One of the kids elbows North down and the referee smiles a lot.

Ferguson asks Scott D’Amore for double pay and is told to be professional. And no pay in gas station d*** (at least that’s what I think he said).

Here’s Teddy Long to complain about his lack of pay. And to make some tag matches, because that’s what he does.

80s Russians vs. Jungle Kittens

No word on if those are the Minnesota variety Russians. Either way they jump the Kittens (in fur pelts) and go into the 80s power offense as Gallows talks about a cameraman asking if he can take a break and go hunting in the woods. That’s a big no, so one of the Russians hits a Sickle for the pin on a Kitten at 1:05.

Post match Long yells about this not being the 80s. No, this is the 90s, so here are Lodi and Sick Boy of Raven’s Flock fame. Lodi’s sign: “YES! WE ARE STILL ALIVE!” The Yeti, better known as Ron Reis (or Reese in the Flock) is here, but this time around he’s in his Reese gear with toilet paper wrapped around him. They don’t like it though so he goes into the woods and rips most of it off. The Flock comes in and beats up the Kittens with kendo sticks. Cue D’Lo Brown (Anderson: “All I care about is the head shake.”) in an Aces and 8’s shirt for a Low Down on a Russian.

Now it’s Rhino to Gore both Russians as Anderson tries to figure out Rhino’s political career. Brian Pillman Jr. comes out as well and hits Air Pillman on a Kitten. The other three are dropkicked down but Rim Job (In the old Kim Chee gear. Yes I think people watching this show will know who Kim Chee is) comes in. There’s no one to beat up though so here is Chavo Guerrero to hit Job with Pepe.

The frog splash and Eddie Guerrero dance ensue, which draw out Willie Mack to Stun some Russians. One of the Kittens gets in a cheap shot but Chavo makes the save and hits Three Amigos. Anderson gets up and hands them beers, with Mack Stunning Chavo. This was more insanity and it was fun watching to see who was coming out next.

Chad talks to D’Amore and reveals himself as Anderson. He’s the bump and feed guy so he should get more money.

Gallows: “We grew up in the Attitude Era. That was one of the worst things in the history of professional wrestling.”

Rory Fox vs. Matt Cardona

This is a grudge match sponsored by Pro Wrestling Tees and a reference to an infamous match on ECW on SyFy where Cardona ripped off Fox’s gear, revealing nothing underneath. You can imagine the editing that had to be done and yes, the fans in the arena saw everything. But since Cardona is AEW, here’s Brian Myers instead. Myers: “Rory Fox, you stupid f****** never was jabroni f****** idiot.” Myers has a replacement to face Fox.

Rory Fox vs. Swoggle Ryder

Yes Myers sings Oh Radio on the way to the ring. The graphic says Swoggledona and I don’t think it makes the slightest difference. Swoggle: “WHOA WHOA WHOA!” He bites Rory’s trunks and gets stomped down in the corner as we hear about Fox sleeping on Gallows’ treadmill last night. Myers comes in and we’re edited to him tossing Swoggle at Fox for the pin at 1:30. Anderson: “We need a new producer. Holy s*** that was terrible.”

Post match they rip Fox’s trunks off and he runs away.

We go back to the pool where North is shoved down the water slide (How much do they pay in Japan???), which is enough to win the match. Penzer: “Ladies and gentlemen, the loser of the hardcore match, Doc Gallows, because he booked this s***!”. Elsewhere in the pool Lee is STILL working that headlock on Coverdale, even in the shallow end.

Chico goes to do some bench presses, even with no weight on the bar. He has a spotter but Chavo comes in to take his place, because Chico is apparently blind. They fight in the gym, with Chavo asking if he is on the gas and throwing him into the sauna. Chavo: “It’s not as hot as your mom!” Chico breaks out and they brawl with the workout equipment, stop to offer respect to their respective grandfathers, and then back to the action. Chavo: “Back to the action!” Chavo knocks him down and wins the title, which he promises to have sex on before he kills Chico. Chavo leaves and gets jumped by Chad 2 Badd, who wins the title.

Here’s NZO for a chat. NZO: “I forgot what I was going to f****** show.” He knows Gallows is losing money on this show, even though he put himself over in the main event they put on last night. NZO knows he is losing money too and hopes everyone enjoys it, even if he just spoiled the main event.

We go back to the large woman from earlier (with Elvis behind her) and Coverdale REVERSES THE HEADLOCK ON LEE! Elvis jumps him and dances with the woman but Brian Myers, also in an Elvis suit, jumps him as well. Now it’s another Elvis (Slater again I believe) jumping Myers to dance with the woman but the original Elvis low blows the third Elvis (this is confusing) and Myers. Penzer: “And the winner of the Contract In A Tree match….who really gives a f***?”

A hearse arrives and it seems to be time for the main event.

Talk N Shop A-Mania Title: Chad 2 Badd vs. Sex Ferguson

Air Paris (AJ Styles’ old tag partner from about 20 years ago) shows up with a rubber chicken and gets elbowed in the face by Ferguson. Chad gets knocked down as Ferguson is all fired up. A low blow takes him down (Ferguson: “OW! MY F****** C***!”) and Paris is annoyed at getting beaten up when he was just trying to sell a shirt. Ferguson is thrown through a wall but here’s Bennett to give him pills to fire him up.

Chad is knocked onto a pile of dirt with a gloved hand sticking out. Chad: “Uncle Alan? Why didn’t you save us in New York? I know you tried and that’s why you switched shows.” Fox runs back in to complain about losing his gear again and then runs off for a second time. Ferguson does an Undertaker impression but gets knocked down. Cue Maria (Ferguson: “Not this s*** again! A reference to Maria distracting Gallows in a match in Japan.) to distract Chad (who starts speaking Spanish) until Ferguson hits him in the back with the arm from the dirt pile.

Maria yells about being a mother and storms off, ranting about how she doesn’t need to be with these two idiots. Chad grabs the ear again and Slater and Myers watch from lawn chairs. That turns into an argument over the two of them being booked, with Chad saying Gallows did it and that’s why he sucks. Ferguson gets in a low blow and loads up the hand again (Ferguson: “Ready for your hand job?”) but the Rock N Roll Express interrupt. They decide to just head to the merch table so here are the druids, causing Chad and Tex to team up one last time.

After the druids are dispatched and we get the 8 bit celebration music, Chad grabs the ear again and carries Ferguson over to….the Express’ gimmick table. Chad: “I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING!” NZO comes in and asks for an autograph but he has zero dimes. That earns him a superkick from Ferguson to put him through the table, which is enough to make the Express leave. Hold on though because here’s Johnny Swinger to interrupt. Chad accuses him of stealing his gimmick and the fight is on, with Ferguson getting in a cheap shot so Johnny can do his squats.

Ferguson is knocked face first into Slater’s crotch and Chad kicks him down. Swinger gets kicked as well but Ferguson is back up to throw Chad into Myers. Chad kicks Ferguson down for two (like the rules matter) but here is Chico to run away from Chavo, who is holding a huge knife. Chad headbutts Ferguson (Chad: “Yeah I got a headbutt fetish too!”) and they climb onto the hearse, which Ferguson bought for $2500 on eBay. A Tombstone plants Chad on the roof….and we hit the dream sequence.

We flash back to September 2019 where the Brothers were ready to sign with AEW and meet with the Young Bucks. They’re ready to sign but they also have a great offer from the Pauls in New York. Max asks if New York will have their back if there is some kind of a global pandemic or something. They all too sweet and chant AEW but the Pauls send in another offer, which is too good to pass up. The Bucks superkick them down and call them marks for going to TNA anyway.

Back to reality and Chad sits up to hit Ferguson in the face and takes him to the grave. Ferguson begs forgiveness because he wants to be a babyface with a singles run but Chad breaks a board over his head to knock him into the grave. We cut to a man looking stunned (….that might have been the Undertaker guy from Wrestlemania XXX) and come back to Chad burying Ferguson to his theme music. This takes extra time as Chad has to yell at Slater and Myers but apparently it’s enough for the win at about 19:30.

Rating: B. As usual, I have no idea how to rate this but it was hilarious with the guys basically doing their own commentary throughout the match. The cameos were great with things like the Express’ gimmick table and the ear thing over and over again. It’s not to be taken seriously (of course) and that’s how this should have gone. Throw in the fact that it’s a complete parody of a genre that is being driven into the ground these days but is still ripe for jokes and it’s a good time.

Chad drives off in the golf cart and Ferguson gets out of the grave, now in a hockey mask and with a large sex toy next to him. To be continued. Maybe.

Overall Rating: A-. My stance on comedy wrestling is pretty well known and I had a great time with this. It’s in and out in less than an hour and a half and they don’t stop with the jokes. They were smart to keep it that way too, as anything serious on here would have been a big miss. Gallows and Anderson are freaking hilarious and put together a hilarious bunch of stuff here where, aside from the main event, it felt like they threw a bunch of stuff together and then decided to make up the jokes off the loosest of concepts. Find a way to watch this with some wrestling friends and have a good time, because it’s worth your time/money.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the second of two Eddie Guerrero tribute shows, both of which were filmed back to back on the previous Sunday, as the roster was off to Europe later this week. That has to be one of the roughest days the company has ever seen and I’m not sure what to expect after the great tribute on Monday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Eddie Guerrero.

Here’s Batista in Eddie’s low rider for the opening chat. He’s fighting back tears as he talks about how much Eddie meant to him. Eddie’s family meant the world to him and while he had demons, Eddie fought back and regained his family. Eddie also loved this business and he gave everything he could every single night. We pause for an Eddie chant and Batista smiles very hard. You can call Batista selfish but he’d give anything to have him back right here. Eddie’s music plays Batista out and he leaves the title on the low rider.

We get an Eddie tribute video, set to 3 Doors Down’s Here Without You, which is as emotional as you imagine it being.

Tonight is going to feature some segments from Eddie’s Cheating Death, Stealing Life DVD, starting with Eddie driving around his hometown. Eddie’s mom talks about how his father taught everyone to wrestle and Eddie explains how the family got into wrestling.

Matt Hardy vs. Carlito

Smackdown vs. Raw continues tonight and the low rider stays in the aisle. Matt starts fast by sending him into the turnbuckle over and over. A missed charge puts Hardy on the floor though and Carlito rams him into the apron. Back in and stomping ensues, setting up the double arm crank. Carlito goes to the middle rope for the mocking of Matt’s pose, plus a dive into a raised boot because of course. The Side Effect gives Matt two but he gets caught in the yet to be named Backstabber for the same. Matt knocks him off the ropes though and the middle rope legdrop connects. The Twist of Fate is enough to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Just a match here as the popular guy beats the annoying pest. Matt continues to be someone who needs a story to be overly interesting, but the fans still buy into him so he’ll be fine for the time being. Carlito on the other hand is almost never interesting and would be much better off as a manager/talker for someone else.

Vince McMahon talks about what a craftsman Eddie was and how happy it made him. He actually gets choked up a bit when he talks about what Eddie’s family meant to him. You don’t see Vince like that very often and it’s strange to see in a good way.

More from the DVD, with Eddie talking about losing Vickie, having a daughter while they were separated, and then getting back together two years later.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cade and Heidenreich start things off with Cade hitting the shoulders in the corner to start. A clothesline takes him down but Murdoch gets in a kick to the back from from the apron. The cowboys stomp Heidenreich down in the corner and Murdoch slaps on an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Cade to keep up the beating in the corner. Heidenreich shrugs that off without too much trouble and brings Animal back in to clean house. The Doomsday Device finishes Cade in a hurry.

Rating: D. Another short one here as the matches continue to not matter in the slightest tonight. These teams didn’t exactly mesh well together but at least they gave the good guys the win. Cade and Murdoch have more of a future as a team, but it’s not like this is going to mean anything to either team.

Booker T., with Sharmell, talks about how much Eddie meant to him. They had their battles in WCW and even got in a fist fight backstage. Booker can’t imagine what it’s like for his family but if they ever need to talk, he and Sharmell are there anytime. Eddie would want the fans to go out and have a great show and that’s all anyone can do.

From the DVD, we look at the Lie, Cheat and Steal vignettes, plus Eddie doing all three things in the ring as well. It’s a great case where the fans knew exactly what was going to happen and wanted nothing else.

Big Show talks about how hard it is to lose a friend but Eddie is safe now.

From the DVD, Eddie talks about growing up in a wrestling family and how his dad had his family wrestling when they were kids.

Chavo Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Jillian Hall is here with JBL and yes it’s Chavo rather than Kerwin White (one of the few silver linings out of this whole situation). Chavo grabs a headlock to start and sends JBL outside in a hurry. A dive to the floor takes him down again and it’s a missile dropkick for two back inside. JBL hits the fall away slam though and throws in an Eddie dance.

The beating continues in the corner and we hit the sleeper on Chavo. That’s broken up in a hurry and the comeback is on, naturally featuring a bunch of Eddie offense. A DDT gives Chavo two and it’s time for a chair, with Chavo throwing it at JBL and dropping down. Like it could have (or should have) been anything else. Chavo uses the distraction to hit Three Amigos and the frog splash finishes JBL.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches that just makes you smile as there was nothing wrong with the whole thing. The match was designed to let Eddie’s nephew get a victory over one of Eddie’s biggest rivals and they did that to perfection. The look on Chavo’s face before the frog splash was perfect and you know JBL didn’t mind doing this one bit.

From the DVD, Eddie talks about spending time with his mom.

From the DVD, Eddie talks about how important it was to defend the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. Given that he wasn’t even in the company two years before, that’s quite the accomplishment. We see some clips of the match, which really was great. Eddie’s mom calls it a beautiful match. For a bonus, we see the end of the show with Eddie coming out to celebrate with Chris Benoit in one of those things that should have been legendary for much better reasons.

JBL talks about his feud with Eddie and all the riots that nearly broke out. They were enemies on scree but friends in real life. Eddie went to bat with him and said JBL could be a main eventer. Eddie was there for JBL during JBL’s divorce and as selfish as it was, JBL would love to see Eddie come out in that low rider one more time.

We look at Eddie beating Brock Lesnar from the title.

Battle Royal

Kid Kash, Tajiri, Gregory Helms, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Juventud Guerrera, Funaki, Super Crazy, Psicosis

Non-title. The nine Smackdown guys jump the two Raw guys (Helms and Tajiri) but Tajiri kicks his way to freedom in a hurry. Juvy tosses Kendrick and Crazy gets crotched on top for a quick elimination. Funaki and Tajiri joining forces for about a second before Funaki dumps him out. Helms eliminates Funaki though and Scotty does the same to Kash.

Nunzio gets rid of Scotty and Psicosis at the same time, leaving us with Nunzio, Juvy and London. Juvy and London take turns chopping Nunzio but he gets them both to the apron. Neither are eliminated though and they backdrop him out without much trouble. Juvy headscissors London out for the win a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting from this one? It wasn’t a good match of any kind but having one of Eddie’s friends win is a good idea. They went through things in a hurry and the champ won so it’s hard to complain about anything here. Eddie was a cruiserweight for a long time so having a match like this is fine.

From the DVD, we look at Latino Heat. You can almost see Eddie’s mom’s cheeks go red over the Chyna stuff.

We look at Eddie cheating to win his last match, as only he could.

Shane McMahon, also fighting back tears, talks about what it’s like to be in a legendary wrestling family. As we’ve heard from everyone else, Eddie loved his family. Yes it’s repetitive, but if it’s one of the first things that everyone says about him, it must have been something that mattered to him more than anything else.

We look at the end of Wrestlemania XX. Lawler: “What a sight!” Indeed it was.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

A very early Crossface attempt sends HHH bailing to the floor. Back in and the same thing happens again as the frustration is on early. Back in again and this time HHH has to roll outside from the threat of a Sharpshooter so Benoit throws him back inside. This time he hammers away with right hands in the corner but HHH sends him outside in a backdrop.

Back with Benoit being whipped hard into the corner twice in a row for two. Benoit gets in a running elbow to the face though and they’re both down. HHH is back up first and hits a spinebuster for two, followed by an abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs. The referee catches him cheating though and we hit the sleeper to slow Benoit down even more.

Benoit fights out and rolls the German suplexes, setting up the Swanton for two. A quick Pedigree attempt is countered into a Crossface but HHH almost gets out. That’s fine with Benoit, who rolls him to the middle of the ring ala Wrestlemania XX and then into a crucifix for the pin.

Rating: B. Another fine match here between two people who have worked together dozens of times. As has been the case with everything else on both shows, the wrestling wasn’t the point here. They had a pretty good match here and while there was no doubt about who was winning, the match was still entertaining because of the immense talent involved.

Post match Benoit and HHH hug and here’s Dean Malenko for the big hug with Benoit in Eddie’s place.

Overall Rating: A. This is a different yet equally good show from the previous version, as this was more about celebrating Eddie’s life than mourning his passing. You can consider it a two volume set and while you can watch one or the other, doing both of them gives you more of a complete picture. The more you hear about Eddie, the more impressive his reputation becomes. He had countless amazing matches and moments and this one made me smile more than Monday, as it felt more like a celebration. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in a bit, as it’s the happier of the two shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 5, 2005
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re into the build towards the yet to be named pay per view now, as John Bradshaw Layfield is the new #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title. The more interesting story at the moment though is Eddie Guerrero completely turning on Rey Mysterio last week, which is not likely to go well for either of them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie promising that he and Rey are fine, only to turn on Rey last week after Rey accidentally knocked him off of the apron during a tag match. Eddie’s emotionless face is great.

Here’s Rey for a chat. Rey has to hand it to Eddie because he’s a heck of a liar. Eddie even had Rey believing that they were family but Rey isn’t going to be his fool anymore. Rey wants to fight right now so here’s Eddie to no music. The fans are all over Eddie, which is all the more impressive given how beloved he was just a few months ago. He has nothing to say to Rey, which isn’t what Mysterio wanted to hear.

Post break Rey demands that Theodore Long give him a match with Eddie. Long says that’s easier said than done so here’s Chavo Guerrero to say Rey will never be a Guerrero. The fight is on and Long screams for security.

Matt Morgan vs. Robbie Eckos

Before the match, Morgan stutters about being unstoppable and promises to make Eckos disappear. A headbutt sends Robbie into the corner and it’s the suplex into the Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry. Exactly what it should have been after the pre-match promo, which is exactly what it should not have been.

Rey vs. Chavo in a street fight is set for later.

We see the same look at John Cena’s music video that we saw last week.

We look back at JBL becoming #1 contender last week.

Sharmell fires Booker T. up backstage.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Booker hitting him in the face and chest a few times. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor though and a posting makes it even worse. Back in and Booker breaks out of a chinlock in a hurry but gets rolled up for two with Jordan’s feet on the ropes. Booker hits the running forearm and a missile dropkick sets up the side kick. The ax kick finishes Jordan clean.

Rating: D. Normally I would get annoyed at a champion losing clean but Jordan has been presented as nothing more than a punching bag for weeks so it’s hard to get overly annoyed. I have no reason to believe this will lead to Booker going after the title, but it’s not like it has any value since Jordan won the thing.

Sharmell is happy in the back when Kurt Angle comes up. He says Booker should be arrested for grand larceny after last week. Angle wants Booker at Judgment Day and Sharmell needs to be at ringside to hear Booker’s screams as his ankle is broken.

MNM vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Tazz is already reaching near Jerry Lawler levels of creepy about Melina’s entrance. Mercury takes Scotty into the corner to start but it’s a blind tag from Shannon so Scotty can dance a bit. Everything breaks down for a bit and a double clothesline puts Mercury on the floor. That leaves Nitro to knee Shannon in the head so the champ can take over in the corner.

Nitro and Moore both try crossbodies at the same time and it’s a double knockdown. Mercury knocks Shannon into the corner though and it’s off to Scotty to not much of a reaction. House is cleaned for a bit and most of the Worm is loaded up, only to have Melina get on the apron and show off some leg. The elevated DDT (now dubbed the Snapshot) finishes the distracted Scotty.

Rating: D+. They were doing better than you might have expected for what looked to be a squash on paper. Scotty and Shannon weren’t going to be any threat to beat the new champs here but at least we got a surprising little match out of it. There aren’t any major teams to go after the titles at the moment but at least MNM is rather awesome.

Post match Mysterio runs in with a lead pipe to chase everyone off.

Here’s JBL for a chat even though it was John Cena’s scheduled time. JBL talks about how we need him as champ because no one here would have survived what he’s been through since Wrestlemania. The people have a long history of quitting, whether it be from school or your jobs.

JBL had to go through a bunch of people to get back to the title match and he did it like Moses going through the Red Sea. Now only Cena is left and he is a one hit wonder. Cena is the Buster Douglas of wrestling and after Judgment Day, he will be nothing but a footnote.

Cue a serious Cena with JBL telling him to get his fifteen minutes of fame. Cena agrees that JBL isn’t a quitter but he rides around with a lot of oily men called the Cabinet. He and Michael Cole are “just friends” but he’s not a quitter. Cena isn’t a quitter either, which is why they’re having an I Quit match at Judgment Day. Cena explains the match and promises to make JBL quit before Cena beats him into unconsciousness. This was the fired up Cena and it worked as well as ever.

Chavo is talking to MNM.

Here’s a ticked off Kurt Angle for the Invitational but he’s in no mood for this and throws the jobber out of the ring. Actually he changes his mind and beats the kid up anyway. Angle wants Booker to answer his challenge so here are Booker and Sharmell to answer. The match is on so Angle promises to break his ankle and make Booker go home with that “gutter sl**.”

The beating is on in a hurry and Sharmell even gets in a slap. Actually several of them but Angle gets in a low blow and the Slam. It would seem to be ankle lock time but Angle looks at Sharmell instead. She trips running up the aisle so Angle goes into stalker mode. Cue referees to break it up and Booker chases Angle off. I don’t see this one going well.

Video on the European tour.

Chavo comes in to tell Eddie about how much he admires him. Eddie put friendship and loyalty over anger when Rey slapped him so tonight Chavo will get revenge for the whole family. Eddie still doesn’t say anything.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Carlito hits one heck of a chop in the corner to start but Holly hits some far weaker ones of his own. The hanging kick to the ribs and a clothesline get two but Carlito knocks him back down. The neck crank doesn’t last long and neither does the ensuing sleeper. Holly gets two off a full nelson slam and tries a suplex but Carlito reverses into a backslide with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Carlito continues to be nothing worth seeing in the ring and it’s not like Hardcore Holly is the kind of guy to get a good match out of him. It’s smart to put Carlito in the ring at least a little bit, but he needs the right kind of opponent to make him look good and Holly doesn’t fit that mold.

Post match, Carlito announces the Big Show as his guest on the Cabana next week, where he’ll give Big Show a special offer. Ok then.

Long introduces Cena’s music video for Bad Bad Man, which is very 80s.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Street fight. Mysterio brings the pipe to the ring so Chavo bails. For some reason Rey puts it down, allowing Chavo to dropkick the knee out and take over to start. Rey kicks him into the corner and hits a baseball slide low blow, setting up a split legged moonsault for two. The basement dropkick gets the same and a springboard hurricanrana sends Chavo tot he floor.

Rey’s slingshot dive completely misses though and it’s time for a chair. Chavo takes a bit too long though and gets his leg kicked out so Rey goes up top. That doesn’t work well either as Chavo dropkicks him out of the air and tosses Rey stomach first to the floor. We haven’t gotten very hardcore yet so here’s a ladder to make up for lost time. Rey avoids being launched into the ladder though as he catches himself in the air and moonsaults down onto Chavo in a cool spot.

Back in and Rey headscissors him shoulder first into the post. The chair is opened up and Chavo is fine enough to send Rey face first into the steel. The Gory Bomb gives Chavo two so here’s MNM to hold up the ladder. Rey dropkicks it into their faces but walks into a faceplant for two more. Back up and Rey knocks him into the chair, setting up the springboard seated senton to knock Chavo right back out of the chair for the pin.

Rating: C+. They only played into the street fight stuff a little bit here, though Rey vs. Chavo is almost always a good match. MNM didn’t really need to be out there but they did make things a bit more interesting and it plays into what happened last week and earlier tonight. It’s a good main event, though it’s just part of the much bigger story going on.

Post match the triple teaming is on but here’s Eddie for the save. With MNM and Chavo gone, Eddie stares at Rey….and beats the heck out of him, including sending him head first into the post. He even rips the mask open to show the busted forehead. A suplex onto the steps leaves Rey laying as the fans are scared to end the show. This was really effective with Eddie looking completely evil and teasing the fans with Eddie making the save before stabbing Rey in the back again.

Overall Rating: B-. The big stories were all on fire here with Eddie vs. Rey being a big standout and Cena vs. JBL having a logical next step. Angle vs. Booker could go a variety of ways but what we got so far seemed that we might be in for some rather uncomfortable moments. Some of the bad stuff on here went by rather quickly and the additional Eddie vs. Rey stuff more than made up for it. Good show, though there are still areas they need to fix.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Prestige Wrestling

Attribute Of The Strong
Date: June 29, 2019
Location: Bossanova Ballroom, Portland, Oregon
Commentator: Joe Dumbrowski

It’s another show from Independentwrestling.TV as I get everything I can out of a free trial. This is from Prestige Wrestling, a promotion out of the northwest with some names I’ve actually heard of for a change. I’m not sure what to expect from this but that can make it more fun at times. Let’s get to it.

As usual, I have no idea what is going on here with characters or storylines so I’m sorry if I miss anything in advance.

Sweet there’s commentary on this one. That was a major problem last time.

Ethan HD vs. Sonico

I’ve seen Ethan before and Sonico is your local luchador. The ring looks rather big, probably WWE size at least. The fans immediately go with a BOTH THESE GUYS chant as the lighting looks like one of those recreation scenes on Dark Side Of The Ring, complete with the handheld camera work. Sonico takes him down into a front facelock so Ethan crawls backwards to escape. A test of strength goes a little better for Ethan as he takes Sonico down but can’t break his bridge.

Ethan’s jumping stomp misses, with Ethan saying it was that close. Fair enough and a smart warning as grown men stomping down onto the chest can be damaging. Sonico’s mask comes unhooked so Ethan helps put it back together, meaning we need a hug. A quick victory roll gives Sonico two and Ethan has to duck a swinging kick to the head so we can have a standoff. Another hug winds up being some shoving, allowing Sonico to bounce off the ropes into a wristdrag.

Ethan tries the same and can’t get up to the middle rope for a funny bit. It’s Sonico picking up the pace and hitting a springboard shoulder to put Ethan on the floor. The suicide dive nearly sends Ethan into the corner of the small arena and the fans are rather pleased. Sonico chops him around the ring, even having Ethan sit on a chair for a rather big one. Back in and Sonico hits a basement dropkick in the corner for two, followed by a quickly broken Figure Four.

Ethan tells him to bring it on so Sonico drops him with a left hand to the face. To be fair, he did ask for it. Some running knees in the corner have Sonico in trouble and a Death Valley Driver gives Ethan two. Things get a bit more aggressive with Ethan stomping him down in the corner, meaning it’s time to head to the floor. A chop nearly attaches a poster to Sonico’s chest and a bottom rope superplex gives Ethan two more. Ethan clotheslines his head off for another two but Sonico sends him throat first into the middle rope.

That means a top rope double stomp to the back and a missile dropkick as Ethan is rocked for a change. There’s a Sling Blade into a suplex (called a brainbuster) for two on Ethan but he’s right back up with a springboard kick to the head. Sonico rolls outside so it’s a springboard moonsault to take him out as this is getting WAY more time than I was expecting. Ethan returns the top rope double stomp to the back and hits a running shooting star press for two more.

Sonico’s reverse hurricanrana plants Ethan but he can’t follow up. It’s Ethan up first and a shot to the head sets up a tiger driver for the next near fall. Sonico is back up with a lifting DDT and Ethan flips him off and spits at him after the comeback. That’s too much for Sonico, who knees him in the back of the head for the pin at 19:30.

Rating: B. That was FAR longer than I was expecting but it was a rather entertaining back and forth match. Ethan started off being respectful and having fun but eventually got a lot angrier and more disrespectful. That told a nice story for the match and I had a good time with this. That’s how you need to open a show and I’m looking forward to seeing what else they have for the rest of the night. Nicely done.

They shake hands post match.

Cole Wright vs. Mike Santiago

So a bit of a weird thing here: they show a graphic for every match, which is perfectly fine. What’s strange is that it shows all of the show’s information, including where to go for tickets. To the show that you’re already watching. Santiago seems to be the villain here as he has been saying that Wright, who is new around here, isn’t in his league. The wristlock has Santiago in some early control as we hear about the Prestige Championship picture.

The battle of wristlocks goes to a standoff and Santiago chuckles from the corner. They fight over a top wristlock until Wright hits him in the face to make Santiago go a bit more serious. A running clothesline gets one and a Codebreaker gets double that, so Santiago gets smart and knocks him outside. That means a kick from the apron before squeezing Wright’s head against the post.

Back in and the chinlock keeps Wright down and a big forearm gets two. The running knee to the face misses but Santiago is fine with a dropkick to take Wright back down. Wright is back on his feet for the slugout with Santiago getting the better of it for two. A missed crossbody out of the corner makes it even worse for Wright but Santiago is getting frustrated off the near falls. Santiago’s tornado DDT gets a slightly delayed two so it’s time to punch Wright in the face.

Another near fall means it’s time to yell at the referee, which allows Wright to roll some German suplexes. Santiago runs him over for two more, but walks into a spinebuster for Wright’s first big shot in a good while. Wright grabs him by the waist to send Santiago bailing to the ropes out of fear of something unclear. With that broken up, Santiago nails a knee to the face and grabs a fisherman’s buster into a small package to put Wright away at 14:46.

Rating: C. This was another one with a story though the action wasn’t as entertaining. Santiago wasn’t all that impressed by Wright to start but had to worker harder to beat him. The problem was that I didn’t quite buy that Santiago was in any real danger as Wright was more surviving than competing. The spinebuster was good but other than that, there just wasn’t much going on here. Not bad, but it only went so far.

Post match Santiago says cut the music. He told everyone that Wright didn’t have a chance, which has been the case with so many people around here. Santiago wants better competition and he’s tired of being up local guys.

Black Sheep vs. Drexl vs. Jaiden vs. Nick Radford

One fall to a finish. Drexl has been mentioned a few times and seems to be a bigger deal around here. Radford has glasses and a book, with the fans not seemingly that into him. This seems to be a new look for him and while he wants to say something, Drexl, with a huge beard, cuts him off as we’re ready to go. The bell rings and Radford gets the mic but the fans cut him off this time.

Radford has something to read for us: erotic fan fiction poetry, which seems to please Drexl. The poem is about the four way and how the four of them could have a bit of fun. Jaiden takes the book away and the double teaming is on (make your own jokes). Sheep and Jaiden hammer away on him but Drexl is more interested in reading the book. Jaiden kicks Radford in the face but gets hit in the face with the book for his efforts. More book shots from Drexl set up a nasty paper cut for Jaiden as we’re in Jimmy Havoc world.

Sheep and Radford are fine with watching as Drexl cuts Jaiden’s mouth as well. With Sheep remembering he’s in the match, Drexl and Radford fight over the book on the floor as Jaiden, seemingly fine from the cuts, flips across the ring. That doesn’t go well as Sheep catches him for a slam into the corner, setting up a toss over the top onto the other two. Back in and Radford has the book again, with Drexl telling him to finish the story. He even brings Radford a chair so he can read more easily.

Radford gets to the part about Jaiden, who tries to break it up and gets sent face first into the chair for his efforts. Then Sheep is sent face first into Radford’s crotch and Drexl pelts the chair at Sheep’s head. Another chair is set up in the middle and it’s a Tower of Doom to send everyone but Radford through them. As a result, Radford loads up the book again but gets pulled into the Tree of Woe and then a trashcan. Sheep spears the trashcan, leaving Drexl to hit a sitout Death Valley Driver for the pin on Jaiden at 11:22.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to make of this, but I know I’m not a big fan of comedy like this. The book deal was more bizarre than funny which made for a rather different match. Maybe this is a match where I need to know the people a bit better, but this didn’t do it for me. It wasn’t the worst and it didn’t last that long (remember that the reading went for over two minutes at the beginning), but this mostly missed for me.

Post match Drexl hits himself in the head with a chair. Various others leave annoyed.

Juventud Guerrera vs. TJP

This could be interesting. Juvy, in his mask again, streams his entrance in one of those things that always seems cool, no matter how common it might be. Before the match, Juvy does his Rock impression, which has been going on longer than Rock’s entire career now. He also puts over TJP as the first modern Cruiserweight Champion and then goes with a LET’S GET JUICY chant. Uh, yeah. Anyway they shake hands and we’re ready to go.

Juvy snapmares him down early on but doesn’t follow up in a show of respect. A battle over wristlocks means a lot of spinning and flipping away until TJP anklescissors him down. TJP has to bounce out of a headscissors and a basement dropkick puts Juvy on the floor. An exchange of leapfrogs takes us to a standoff and the fans are rather pleased with what they’re seeing.

That means another handshake but Juvy takes a breather by laying across the ropes ala Eddie Guerrero. TJP does his own Eddie pose, but Juvy says HE loves Eddie more. One heck of a chop drops TJP and the double arm crank is on. Some running shots in the corner rock TJP again with Juvy throwing in some swearing for flavor. Now we pause so Juvy can yell at a fan, allowing TJP (known defender of fans) to hit a springboard hurricanrana to put them both down.

There’s a tornado DDT to plant Juvy and a high crossbody gets two. Juvy gets two of his own off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle makes it even worse. An over the shoulder backbreaker is spun into a DDT to give Juvy two more and it’s time for the Juvy Driver (I know this as Juvy makes a motion and shouts JUVY DRIVER). The shouting isn’t the best idea as TJP reverses into the kneebar with Juvy tapping….and then shaking his head no. The referee counts it as the submission at 13:34 in a weird ending.

Rating: C+. This is why you bring in someone with a reputation like Juvy. TJP is a bigger name in modern wrestling but Juvy was a big deal during one of the most important eras and a win over him means something for TJP. You have to bring in the veterans to give the younger guys (though TJP is a veteran as well) a boost. Good match too as the show has been rather entertaining so far.

There’s some confusion over what happened but Juvy definitely tapped. A guy with a camera who I assume is an authority figure decides we’re getting five more minutes because SLAPPING THE MAT OVER AND OVER while in a hold doesn’t count as a tap for some reason. They kick away at each other as commentary tries to explain that it was a controversial ending. The Juvy Driver and Detonation Kick are both countered and Juvy rolls him up for the pin at 15:10 total. That had to be a botched finish earlier because otherwise there is no reason to do something so messy and so fast.

Post match Juvy raises his mask and praises TJP again. Juvy didn’t tap (yeah he did) and would love to face TJP again at some point. TJP says he knows Juvy didn’t tap but he’d want five more minutes with him even if he had. He left WWE to chase his freedom and he’s honored to face another former Cruiserweight Champion. Hugging ensues.

Team C4 vs. Eh Team vs. Konami Code vs. 4 Minutes of Heat

Elimination rules and the Konami Code is the only one I’ve heard of. The Eh Team (Lance Pearson/Chase James) are Canadians, 4 Minutes of Heat (Eddie Pearl/Ricky Gibson (not Robert’s brother, who was also a wrestler)) are rockers, Konami Code (Julian Whyt/CJ Edwards) are in Castlevania cosplay and Team C4 (Cody Chun/Guillermo Rosa) are….well they’re the last to enter. There is currently a Tag Team Title tournament going on/still be seeded so there is some jockeying for position going on here.

Chun and Whyt start things off as the fans chant what sounds like “SALTY B******”. Whyt and Chun trade some legsweeps and they both miss dropkicks for an early standoff. It’s off to Rosa vs. James, with the first round consisting of getting the fans to cheer louder. Instead of going after James, Guillermo chops Gibson to bring him in.

The other teams bail from a Gibson tag attempt, leaving him to get kicked in the face. James hits some chops in the corner and it’s Pearl coming in for a save, earning himself a trip to his partner’s crotch. That happens two more times as this isn’t as funny as they think it is. A neckbreaker/powerbomb combination gets two on Gibson but a powerslam/neckbreaker combination finishes Pearson for the first elimination at 5:45.

It’s Konami Code coming in to double team Pearl with an assisted dropkick putting him on the floor. Pearl gets dropkicked off the apron and there’s the suicide dive. Chun dives onto both of them but Gibson slips on the ropes and crotches himself. More dives ensue until it’s another powerslam/neckbreaker combination to get rid of the Konami Code at 8:59.

Rosa slugs away at both of them and it’s a German suplex with an O’Connor roll for a double near fall. Chun comes back in and Rosa tries to use him as a launchpad into a Canadian Destroyer but Rosa can’t get over. Instead it’s a regular piledriver to Pearl, leaving Chun to roll Gibson up for the pin at 11:25.

Rating: C-. This had the dives and fast pace but it felt like it should have been a lot longer. The eliminations came rather fast and furious at the end and I was surprised by the final pin. In this case that isn’t the best thing in the world, as nothing really had a chance to be set up. The match wasn’t terrible or anything, but no one had a chance to stand out.

Post match 4 Minutes of Heat beat them down with the same powerslam/neckbreaker combination. Cue the likely authority figure to say he’s tired of 4 Minutes of Heat acting like this, so he’s bringing in someone they think they are: the Rock N Roll Express. Well that works, though the Express in Oregon feels weird.

Super Crazy vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo gets checked for weapons but just to be fair, he checks the ref too. Crazy likes the idea but doesn’t listen to the fans’ demands that he check the ref as well. We get a BOTH THESE GUYS chant and Chavo says that’s the first time he’s ever gotten one of those. Crazy takes him into the corner but gets snapmared down into an early chinlock. Back up and a wristlock seems to annoy Crazy so he takes it to the mat for a front facelock. That impresses Chavo and it’s another standoff.

An ECW chant lets Crazy get in a few cheap shots, as for some reason the fans don’t seem to remember Chavo being ECW Champion. Chavo gets beaten down in the corner and Crazy wraps the knee around the post. Back in and Crazy kicks at the leg to keep Chavo in trouble. It’s already time to head back to the floor with Chavo being thrown into some chairs.

They head back inside again for more kicks to the leg as you can’t say Crazy isn’t focused here. The chinlock switches the pace a bit but doesn’t last long as Chavo is back up with a dropkick. A headscissors into the slingshot hilo gets two and the knee is fine enough to hit Three Amigos. The Eddie chants are rolling as Chavo goes up but he has to knock Crazy back down. Something like a frog crossbody finishes Crazy at 10:49.

Rating: C. Chavo sold the knee near the end but there wasn’t much in the way of his offense changing because of it. That being said, a match between two guys far past their primes but still more than watchable in the ring is a good addition to have on the card. Having someone like Chavo makes the show feel a little more legitimate and adds some star power. He’s not the biggest name ever but he’s the biggest name on the show and he had a good match. It gives the place a little more legitimacy and that’s very important.

Post match Chavo talks about coming to Portland dozens of times for a bunch of companies Then he came back here for a show called Grimm and he loves this city. Chavo talks about all the things he loves about the place, including the coffee and the weed. This kind of a show is why someone leaves WWE because they love to interact with the fans.

Ask any big band if they have more fun playing in a stadium or a bar and they’ll pick the bar every time. Chavo puts over Crazy and the company, plus Prestige Champion Tom Lawlor. Nice speech, capped off with an EDDIE chant. Hang on though as Crazy wants to talk about how special this is as well.

Prestige Wrestling Title: Tom Lawlor vs. Simon Grimm

Lawlor is defending and that is Simon Gotch. This is a rubber match as they have split a pair of matches before this one. These two are feuding in MLW as well so there is potential here. Grimm heads to the mat to start with Lawlor not being able to do much. He can get out of Grimm’s armbar attempt but gets pulled down into a headscissors for a breather. Lawlor’s armbar has Grimm in a bit of trouble and a hammerlock puts him on the mat. Lawlor switches over to the leg and gets in a Sharpshooter, possibly becoming an honorary Canadian in the process.

With that broken up, Lawlor switches to a Figure Four as he’s certainly sticking with the grappling and submissions so far. Grimm pulls on the ankle to escape but Lawlor switches it over to a Regal Stretch while on his back. Some shots to the head get Grimm out of trouble and he goes with shots to the champ’s face. Lawlor is fine with the striking and knocks Grimm to the apron, only to suplex him back in. The guillotine choke keeps Grimm in trouble but they fall outside for the break and a crash.

Grimm finally manages to drop Lawlor onto the apron for a breather, breaks the count, and then goes back outside to kick Lawlor in the chest. Lawlor has shown he can hang in the striking so he kicks right back, has a drink, and keeps kicking. Another kick sends Grimm through some chairs as the fire is starting to come out. The referee’s requests to come back in aren’t well received as Grimm would rather hit a suplex on the floor to a big reaction.

That’s only good for two back inside so it’s bottom rope superplex time for two more. The Kimura attempt is broken up and it’s time to slug it out again. Just like the previous two times, Lawlor gets the better of it and we hit an airplane spin of all things. Lawlor puts him on the top for some running knees to the ribs, including one after three forward rolls. They slug it out again, with the low lights showing the sweat that much better. Yet again Lawlor gets the better of a battle of strikes but misses a top rope elbow.

Grimm STILL doesn’t get it with the strikes, though this time stereo big hits to the head give us a double knockdown. A German suplex drops Grimm on his head and a running knee rocks him again. The rear naked choke is broken up but Grimm can’t get the armbreaker. Lawlor is right back with the choke but Grimm uses the underneath arm to reach the rope.

Grimm gets up again and hits a cradle piledriver for two as Grimm is looking frustrated. This time Grimm goes for a rollup, which is reversed into a triangle choke for two arm drops. Lawlor flips over though and it’s a series of forearms to the head. Another triangle makes Grimm tap at 21:19.

Rating: B. Other than Grimm not getting it with the strikes, this was a very interesting and entertaining battle of two people trying to outlast the other. Grimm was good but Lawlor kept grinding him down and eventually winning when Lawlor was able to use the skills and experience. Grimm looked good here and has done a great job of making me forget what he used to be. Very good main event.

Lawlor wants to show respect but Grimm collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I wasn’t expecting anything here and I got a very good show with some good action, a few nice surprises and only one match I didn’t care for, which was more that it wasn’t my taste than anything else. This was a lot better than I would have bet on and that’s not something you can say from an indy company. Yeah it’s small and they are limited on stories, but this was a two hour and thirty five minute show with nothing bad and enough good that I’d watch another show. It’s one of the better indies I’ve seen and there are a lot of them to beat to reach that point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble and so far that means focusing on the Smackdown World Title match. JBL, Kurt Angle and Big Show have been playing mind games with each other and I don’t see that ending well. Other than that, John Cena is still looking for anything to fill his time before he can get to the World Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s issues between everyone involved in Joy Giovanni’s disappearance, which was one of the most entertaining things they’ve done in a good while. Kurt Angle and company were behind the whole thing and that is likely going to have some repercussions this week.

Theodore Long is in the ring to open things up. He talks about what Angle did last week and promises that Angle will face the music tonight. Angle isn’t here yet, but when he arrives, it’s time for an official apology to Joy Giovanni, all by himself. Otherwise, he is out of the title shot at the Royal Rumble and won’t get another title shot this year. Now holla holla holla.

Tag Team Titles: Bashams vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

The Bashams are defending and has Orlando Jordan here with them. Doug takes Booker into the corner to start so Booker clotheslines him right back. Eddie comes in to a rather nice reaction and stomps away in the corner. The slingshot hilo hits and it’s time to start on the arm. Booker’s spinning kick to the face gets one and Eddie goes very old school with an airplane spin. Eddie is so dizzy that he staggers into the corner for a poke to Danny’s eyes.

Back to back planchas to the floor keep the champs down and we take a break. Back with Doug STILL in trouble to continue the rather long beatdown segment. A suplex finally gets Doug a breather and it’s off to Danny for some fresh Basham. Booker comes in and the champs do a very fast twin switch, which would seem to be a rather bad idea. The cheap shot lets Doug take Booker down and it’s back to Danny for some choking on the apron.

Danny grabs a seated full nelson and then gets two off a powerslam. The hold goes back on and Eddie gets yelled at for not holding the tag rope. In a rather brilliant move, Eddie unties the rope and holds onto it as he walks down the apron, though it doesn’t matter as Danny puts on the third full nelson in the span of a few minutes. A regular chinlock changes the pace a bit and that’s enough to trigger the comeback, including a spinebuster to drop Danny.

It’s Eddie coming back in and hitting the rope walk wristdrag/headscissors combination to the champs. Three Amigos have Doug in trouble so Eddie brings Orlando in for a bonus. The distraction lets Doug bring in a title but Eddie knocks it away and hits Doug with it….as the referee turns around. He SWEARS that he didn’t do it but that’s a DQ anyway.

Rating: C-. The long stretch of holds in the middle hurt it a lot but this got some time and was allowed to develop a bit. The Bashams are fine champions at the moment and a team can be built up to take them away in time. Eddie vs. Booker seems to be building as well and that could be a rather nice feud.

Post match Booker yells at Eddie, who walks out on him instead. Danny and Jordan jump Booker and Eddie makes a somewhat delayed save. A scissors kick into the frog splash takes care of Orlando.

JBL is upset over Jordan but Amy reminds him that the Bashams retained the title. Josh Matthews comes in so JBL can talk about some things he’s done in his life. Those things were a matter of doing business though and what Angle did crossed the line. Tonight, Angle will pay. I hope he gets a receipt.

Big Show and an upset Joy Giovanni are waiting on Angle. Show doesn’t think this is the place for her so she leaves.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Akio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Scotty’s return after having a benign tumor removed. Akio gets aggressive to start and stomps away but Scotty armdrags him into an armbar. They head outside with Akio sending him back first into the apron and grabbing his own armbar. A suplex gets two as the cameras stay close to avoid showing the large number of empty seats during this match. The abdominal stretch has Scotty in more trouble and a belly to back plants him again. Akio Time (corkscrew moonsault) misses and the Worm gives Scotty the pin.

Rating: D+. They were trying but there’s nothing you can do with two cruiserweight job guys fighting to be cannon fodder in the Rumble. The Worm still gets a reaction but other than some dancing, Scotty doesn’t have much more than that. Akio was aggressive here and it was one of his better performances.

John Cena is all fired up for the Royal Rumble because it’s about the movement. If you want some, come get some. Not much to say this week.

Steve Austin had a press conference on Wednesday. This show is airing on Thursday so tune in Monday to find out what he said!

Theodore Long tells Big Show that he can’t attack Angle until the apology takes place. Show isn’t convinced.

Here’s Carlito with his petition and he gets some signatures on the way to the ring. He promises to keep collecting signatures but here’s Heidenreich of all people to interrupt. Heidenreich actually signs as well because Long is forcing him into a casket match. He’s not scared of Undertaker but he doesn’t like caskets, so he’ll do anything to get out of that match. The lights go out and Undertaker appears on screen, promising to introduce Heidenreich to a casket. There’s a casket in front of him and Heidenreich is inside. This story can gladly end anytime. Like, say before we have to watch them fight again.

Lauren and Rochelle arrive and Show nearly hits them with a chair.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Rene shoulders him down to start and throws in his own You Can’t See Me. A much harder shoulder puts Rene on the floor and the fans are rather pleased. Cena spends a bit too much time high fiving a fan and walks into a dropkick. Back in and a clothesline connects as the announcers try to figure out what Rene’s trunks say.

The chinlock goes on for a bit as Tazz is confused why Rene isn’t the hometown favorite. Cena comes back with clotheslines and elbows for two, followed by the ProtoBomb for the same. The Shuffle actually misses, so Cena hits a DDT and then the Shuffle connects. The FU sends Cena tot he Rumble.

Rating: D+. I know I say this every week but Cena has nothing to do at the moment until we get to the Rumble because no one in the midcard can touch him. We’re just waiting to get him to the main event scene where he belongs, and having him beat up Rene one week and Kenzo Suzuki the next isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

Post match here’s Kenzo to jump Cena, likely setting up one more match between the two of them next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

JBL comes up to Big Show and offers to help him deal with Angle tonight. After the apology, they can beat him up. Show doesn’t say no.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They lock hands to start with Chavo monkey flipping him over, leading to a standoff. A reverse powerbomb plants Rey and Chavo gets to talk a little trash. Rey sends him to the apron though and it’s a springboard Stunner to put Chavo on the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey getting caught in the chinlock, which is a little better than coming back to the chinlock. Chavo starts kicking at the knee but Rey kicks him in the chest, followed by a springboard moonsault.

It’s right back to Rey’s knee though but Chavo switches to an armbar for some reason. Chavo dives into raised boots and falls into 619 position but thankfully stands up so Rey can get two off a basement dropkick. A faceplant gives Chavo two of his own with Rey putting his foot on the rope. Rey tries a running headscissors but gets planted with a reverse powerbomb for two as the fans are VERY impressed. Another headscissors works better for Rey though, meaning it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two are capable of having a good match. That almost always seems to be the case and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Rey winning was the mostly obvious ending but Chavo was trying here, giving us one of the better Smackdown matches in recent memory.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Kenzo gets another US Title shot.

Here’s a scared looking Kurt Angle coming through the crowd. After a break, he calls out Joy for the apology. Joy comes out and Angle reads an apology, blaming last week on his overly competitive spirit. Any pain and suffering was unintentional….and here’s Big Show. Once Show is in the ring, Angle bails to the floor because they can settle this at the Rumble. Cue JBL and the Cabinet to threaten Angle, followed by a handshake. Angle calls out Jindrak and Reigns so Show is down 7-1. Cole, after the handshake and smile: “Have JBL and Angle joined forces here?”

It’s the classic villain strategy of sending one or two people at a time before the villains wake up and rush Show at the same time. Show fights them off and even no sells a low blow from Jordan. The Angle Slam takes him down though and JBL chairs him in the head. JBL and Angle take turns hitting Show in his busted head and a great looking shot with the steps put Show on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The transitional phase continues as we slowly crawl towards Cena getting into the main event picture and having no one to touch him until then. At the same time though, Big Show, Angle and JBL are giving it all they have in the title feud and it’s working far better than I would have expected. The women are adding in enough of a difference that the story is working and I’m wanting to see the title match. The wrestling tonight wasn’t very good, but I’m digging the show enough at the moment. Things are building towards Cena at the Rumble though and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: Lucha Underground

Lucha Underground
Date: July 4, 2018
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Things are starting to get back to whatever passes for normal around here, meaning the 400 year old witch now has her life essence back and isn’t trapped between worlds because the man of 1000 deaths has put the Bird of War into a casket. Things might not be so dull this week around though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need in a recap.

We open with the traditional rapid fire recap, including a focus on Catrina, the Gauntlet, and the Gift of the Gods.

Catrina goes to see the seemingly dead Fenix, who she calls her love. She kisses him and sucks in his essence, which turns her normal gear into a red dress.

A sad Melissa Santos is looking at pictures of herself and Fenix (who wears the mask when they’re hanging out). Catrina comes in to see her, saying Fenix is never coming back. She gives Melissa the half of the medallion that kept her alive.

Big Bad Steve vs. Jake Strong

Steve is fighting for revenge after Strong, now known as the Savage, broke Famous B.’s ankle. Steve’s early clothesline has no effect so Strong forearms him in the back and sends him into the post. The Vader Bomb sets up a hard clothesline as it’s all Strong so far. The ankle lock makes Steve tap at 2:05. Oh yeah he’s going to be a thing around here.

Post match Strong powerbombs Steve on the floor.

Antonio Cueto is having a beer while King Cuerno is in his office. Cueto wants to know where the Gauntlet is but Cuerno says it was stolen. For some reason this earns Cuerno a match against Chavo Guerrero for an Aztec Medallion. Cage comes in and asks for a Lucha Underground Title match against Pentagon. That’s not happening, but Cage can have an Aztec Medallion match against Mil Muertes next week.

Daga/Kobra Moon vs. Johnny Mundo/Taya

Taya and Daga start things off by hitting the mat with Striker going into full on Joey Styles mode. No wonder I never liked either of them. It’s off to Mundo for some shots to the face but a backbreaker gives Daga two. A dropkicks knocks Daga into the corner for the tag though and the reptiles start in with the double teaming.

Mundo can’t roll over for the tag so he slides underneath and around Daga into a kick to the head. A springboard spinning crossbody gets two and it’s off to Taya for some swagger. Mundo superkicks Daga by mistake and there’s the tag to Moon. She takes turns kneeing both of them in the face but PJ Black comes out for a distraction, allowing Ricky Mundo to kick Moon down. The curb stomp gives Taya the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C-. Is there something to the Reptile Tribe that I just don’t get? Moon does nothing for me, Daga is just a guy, and Vibora, the only interesting member of the team because he’s a monster, doesn’t need the rest of them. The Worldwide Underground is cooler, but they’re only kind of working as faces. That being said, I wasn’t wild on them as heels last season so maybe this is the better option.

Post match Vibora comes out and wrecks the Worldwide Underground. He holds everyone but Johnny and says that one day they will bow down to her as their queen.

Someone goes down into a locked basement where we can see someone chained up. Another person (possibly the person who went down the stairs) is shown beating them as Matanza looks on. Antonio says it’s time for Matanza’s first sacrifice. It isn’t clear who any of the people in shadows were, but it’s possible that Matanza was the one doing the beating.

Mr. Pectacular vs. Matanza

German suplex and Wrath of the Gods in 40 seconds.

The lights go out and Pectacular disappears.

Aztec Medallion: Chavo Guerrero vs. King Cuerno

Chavo dives through the ropes to start fast and sends Cuerno into various things, including the ring. They trade clotheslines with Cuerno getting the better of it and backdropping Chavo to the floor. Cuerno’s charge just gets him sent into the balcony (not exactly a high one) but Chavo is rammed into the barricade.

That means a huge dive down onto Chavo but Cuerno gets crotched on top. A top rope superplex gives Chavo two and a catapult into the bottom rope is good for the same. Cuerno fights up and knees him outside, setting up the big suicide dive. That will never not look cool. Back in and the Thrill of the Hunt is broken up so Cuerno goes with a kneeling tombstone for the pin and the medallion at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Chavo is fine in this role as he has enough experience and credentials to it work well enough but there was no drama about who was winning here. Cuerno is still a solid name in the midcard and one of my favorites in the promotion. Having him involved in the Gauntlet story could go somewhere and hopefully they have somewhere to take him from here.

Overall Rating: C-. The squashes were fun but this week was much more about setting things up for the future, meaning the show itself wasn’t all that great. It’s still very early in the season though and that means they have a ton of time to put things together. The important thing here though is you can see where they’re going and that means the future should be fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have changed in a big way around here as Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit has jumped over to Monday Night Raw to go after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. That leaves a pretty big hole to fill at the top of the card and I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Sounds like Wrestlemania season to me. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Well that’s a big way to start things up. Heyman rightfully looks terrified as Vince yells about how this should have been a celebration of Chris Benoit winning the Royal Rumble. Benoit isn’t going to be here tonight though because he’s on Raw now with Steve Austin. This is all Heyman’s fault because Benoit used the legal loophole of the Royal Rumble winner not having to face a specific champion at Wrestlemania. That’s a much better worded explanation than the somewhat jumbled version we got on Raw.

Heyman goes into a rant about people bailing on Vince over the years and how Vince would say SCREW THEM because it’s time to give someone else a chance. With Vince asking for the point, Heyman says someone else is getting a chance tonight with a 15 man Royal Rumble for a title shot at No Way Out. The fifteen people will be the ones who were in the Rumble on Sunday but the injured Matt Morgan and the gone Benoit will be replaced by Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero. Vince signs off on it and Heyman looks relieved.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London

Kidman and London are challenging. An early headscissors puts Danny down as Cole points out that Kidman and London haven’t teamed together many times. Hence why they’re #1 contenders of course. Danny low bridges London to the floor and makes the blind switch, setting up a spinning belly to back suplex for two.

The champs start in on London’s back as the announcers talk about the Royal Rumble tonight. London finally rolls Doug away and gets the tag off to Kidman to clean house. An enziguri gets two on Doug and there’s the BK Bomb to make things worse. Another switch lets Danny crotch Kidman on top though and a hanging DDT out of the corner retains the titles.

Rating: D. The time killed this as there’s not much you can do in less than four minutes. At least they’ve gotten away from having Shaniqua be the focus of the champions as that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. It also doesn’t do the company any favors to have two tag divisions on life support but that’s been the case for a long time now.

Angle is in Heyman’s office to draw his number, which he again dedicates to the troops. He gets his number and runs off, seeming to be a bit nervous.

Chavo Guerrero Sr. is worried about Chavo Jr.’s injuries at Eddie’s hands. Jr. says his injuries will heal but the internal scars will never go away. He swears revenge on Eddie so he can prove that he’s the real star.

Eddie is happy with his number. Rey Mysterio comes in, along with boxing champion Jorge Paez. Spanish is spoken and Rey is ready to defend the Cruiserweight Title.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie and tells her to grab his ball. Heyman comes in to say she’s not grabbing anyone’s balls. Cena calls him Captain Buzzkill and seems to like his number. Rhyno comes in and asks Cena about his knee. That earns him a bad smell joke, with Cena saying Heyman has the soap.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Noble has the blind Nidia with him in a Rumble rematch. Rey takes him down to the mat for some grappling with Noble getting the better of it. The test of strength is countered with a monkey flip and Noble gets knocked into the ropes. It’s way too early for the 619 though as Noble elbows him in the face but accidentally gets tripped by Nidia again. Thankfully they don’t repeat Sunday’s ending as Noble gets up at two and starts in on Mysterio’s back.

It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch before Noble bends the ribs and back around the post. That always looks so painful. A superplex plants Rey but Jamie can’t follow up. The delay lets Mysterio start the comeback and a Code Red gets two. Now the 619 can connect but Rey gets sent outside after missing the West Coast Pop. Jamie goes up top but Nidia accidentally gets in his way. He throws her inside but she avoids a charge, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better this was when you give them a little more time and a story to the match to let the match go somewhere. Noble and Mysterio are both talented performers and when they’re given a few resources, you can have a good match. The Nidia story needed to go somewhere a few weeks ago but it’s nice to have them finally do something with her.

Post match the sunglasses come off and Nidia can see. Cole: “Nidia just screwed her boyfriend!” That’s not very PG.

New correspondent RUe (the R and U are both capitalized on screen) De Bona talks about the history of WWE and Playboy because we’re still not supposed to know about Sable and Torrie Wilson being in Playboy.

Big Show takes his turn to hit on Dawn Marie (understandable) and draws his number.

Brock Lesnar isn’t happy with Goldberg and wants to teach him a lesson. He’s tired of hearing about Goldberg, who is just a Brock Lesnar wannabe. His method of dealing with Goldberg: a non-title open challenge for tonight.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are drawing numbers when someone runs in to say Eddie has been attacked. Medics are checking on him with Rey at his side when the Chavos come in to ask what happened. Rey chases them off.

Post break, Eddie is taken away in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Brock wastes no time in firing off the shoulders in the corner to put Jordan on the floor. Back in and Jordan hits a quick dropkick from behind to put Lesnar on the floor, which isn’t the best idea in the world. Some rights and lefts just annoy Lesnar so he snaps off a powerslam. It’s off to an arm trap choke that Lesnar spent most of the match on against Holly. Jordan fights out and hits some more dropkicks but gets caught in the Brock Lock for the tap.

Rating: D-. A match that doesn’t even make it four and a half minutes doesn’t need a hold that lasts over a minute. Lesnar slumming it lately isn’t doing anyone much good, mainly the audience as these things have been not only bad, but really dull. Jordan doesn’t belong on the main roster as he’s just not any good and could be any career jobber.

Wrestlers went to Walter Reed Military Hospital.

We look at Undertaker’s gong leading to Kane being eliminated on Sunday and distracting him again on Monday.

Vince isn’t worried because Undertaker is dead and buried. Wrestling heels being cocky and stupid is one of my favorite tropes.

Angle accuses Heyman of sending the Chavos after Eddie but Heyman says Eddie has regained consciousness. Chavo Jr. isn’t taking Eddie’s place as Angle thinks so Angle’s odds go up if Eddie isn’t out there.

Royal Rumble

Kurt Angle is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2 with 90 second intervals. Rhyno wastes no time in hitting a Gore but instead of going for an elimination, he stomps away in the corner. An Angle Slam cuts Rhyno off and it’s Charlie Haas in at #3. He punches both guys and hits a dropkick on Angle can’t get rid of Rhyno. Angle slips back in from the apron and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #4. Benjamin goes after Angle as well with the exploder suplex and Rhyno takes the jump over Haas’ back onto his own back.

Bradshaw is in at #5 for the Clothesline to Rhyno and a big boot to Benjamin. We take an abrupt break and come back with Tajiri in at #7 after Cat, in at #6, has already been eliminated. Of course we go through a full replay of his dancing, because IT’S JUST SO FUNNY. We come back with Billy Gunn coming in at #8 for a Fameasser on Bradshaw. Tajiri adds a Buzzsaw kick as the ring is about as full as it needs to be. Angle gets the ankle lock on Benjamin and it’s Big Show in at #9 to get everyone’s attention.

They all go after him but get shoved away with Tajiri getting chokeslammed out. Bradshaw misses a charge and goes out to thin things out a bit. John Cena, on a bad knee, is in at #10. Some clotheslines put Show on the apron but not out as we take another break. Back with Nunzio having come in at #11 and being eliminated by Cena and A-Train in at #12. Rhyno seems to have been eliminated during the break as well. Eddie, holding his head, is in at #13 as A-Train is eliminated.

Rikishi is in at #14 for a superkick to put Gunn on the apron. Show gets knocked down in the corner and takes a Stinkface with a screaming Shelton getting one as well. There’s one to Gunn as well as Hardcore Holly is in at #15, giving us a final grouping of Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Big Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly. Show chokes Cena to the floor and gets rid of him so everyone gangs up on Show, with Cena pulling him from the floor for the elimination. With nothing else going on, here’s a highlight package of some of the eliminations.

Eddie backdrops Haas out and Angle tosses Benjamin. An Angle Slam and frog splash hit Rikishi, which isn’t the best idea with someone of his size in a battle royal. Angle dumps Holly like the non-main eventer that he is to get us down to four. Eddie flips Gunn out and it’s Eddie, Angle and Rikishi to go. Rikishi superkicks Angle and chokeslams Eddie but misses the Rump Shaker on Angle.

That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to get together and eliminate Rikishi so we can have a heck of a final pairing. They slug it out until Angle starts rolling the German suplexes. Eddie hangs on and lands on the apron, even managing to get in an ankle lock on Angle. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s reversed into the same hold on Eddie. That’s reversed with a roll over the top but Eddie holds on with his feet just inches above the floor.

Back in and Eddie rolls the vertical suplexes and goes up top in a pretty dumb move. Angle runs the ropes and headbutts him, sending both guys to the ropes for a double crotching. With Eddie already staggered, Angle grabs the sleeper, which Tazz says would make this easy like Sunday morning. It switches to a chinlock, which of course energizes Eddie to bring him back to his feet. Angle gets sent to the apron for a gasp but tries a suplex to the floor. Eddie reverses that into one of his own, pulls Angle back a few steps, and throws Angle out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: A-. They did exactly what they needed to do here by setting up a new challenger in a match that didn’t drag. There were some names who didn’t need to be included in something like this and I’m glad they got rid of Holly so quickly. The experiment is over and that’s best for everyone involved. It’s hard to make a nearly forty minute match feel like less than half of that but they pulled it off here. Great match, exactly right result and nothing that felt like a dead spot.

Overall Rating: B. The main event taking up a third of the show was a good idea and while that was great, there’s only so much you can do when your first hour includes Orlando Jordan and a bad Bashams match. It’s still a very good show because that one match was really that great. The top of the card is really starting to come together and if the rest of the show can come close to it, we’re in for a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2004
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and most of Sunday is already set. You can always use more focus on the Rumble itself, but I have a bad feeling we might be in for a heavy dose of Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar tonight. I for one can’t get enough of the WWE Champion vs. the race car driver. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chavo Guerrero turning on his uncle Eddie, leading to Kurt Angle getting involved and setting up a tag match with Chavo and his dad vs. Eddie/Angle tonight. I’m not a big Chavo fan but he’s been money in this feud.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rey tries hammering away but a hard shoulder puts him down. Palumbo tries a powerbomb, earning all those right hands to the head. The 619 is loaded up early on but Johnny Stamboli low bridges Rey to the floor. Back in and Palumbo starts in on the knee by ramming it into the mat and grabbing a half crab. Ever the creative one, Rey flings his free leg back to kick Palumbo, whose staggering puts Rey closer to the ropes.

Instead of getting kicked again, Palumbo switched to a regular Boston crab. That’s broken up so Palumbo puts him on top, only to get caught with a top rope seated senton. A springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gives Mysterio two but Nunzio’s distraction lets Palumbo kick his head off. Back up and Palumbo tries a fireman’s carry, only to get reversed into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D. The problem here was with Palumbo, who clearly had no idea how to wrestle a match against someone that much smaller than him. While he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, Palumbo is big enough to wrestle a power style here and that’s not what we got. Mysterio was trying but Palumbo just isn’t that good.

Post match the FBI comes in and gives Mysterio the bigger beatdown. Jamie Noble comes out and pays them off before his match with Mysterio on Sunday. Of note: does anyone remember that Nunzio and Noble are supposed to be cousins? I don’t remember the last time it was mentioned and it certainly wasn’t here.

Paul Heyman is really not happy with John Cena and Chris Benoit for ruining the morality of this show, which certainly isn’t related to making him eat soap last week. Therefore tonight, for the sake of restoring the morals that this company were based on, they’ll be teaming up against Big Show/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno. The four of them just happen to be standing off camera.

Kurt Angle yells at Chavo and Chavo over messing with the family bond. He grew up under the pressure of having four older brothers who were better athletes than him. His way out? He won an Olympic gold medal. They’ll learn a lesson in the ring tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

No Akio/Sakoda at ringside. Kidman starts fast with an armdrag and a hurricanrana but gets pulled off the top for a crash. It’s off to an armbar on Kidman’s recently repaired shoulder in a smart move. Tazz thinks Tajiri is smart for eating so much rice and a spinning kick to the arm seems to support that line of thinking. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick but Kidman misses the shooting star. A Buzzsaw kick sends Tajiri to the Rumble.

Brock and Big Show are in the back to talk about the match and Show is sick of Lesnar following him around to “protect” him from Hardcore Holly. Show needs some time to himself and has the cops to protect him. Therefore, tonight Show is taking tonight off and after Sunday, he’s coming after the WWE Title, whether Lesnar or someone else holds it.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

A-Train has shaved his beard and possibly some of his chest hair. Shannon drop toeholds him into the middle buckle to start but gets THROWN into the same corner for a little more impact. We hit something close to a Gory Stretch but cue the Cat of all people to dance, setting up a rollup to give Shannon two. A-Train will have none of that and sends him into the steps, followed by the Train Wreck for the fast pin.

Team Lesnar is in Heyman’s office but Paul wants to know where Show is. Lesnar explains things but Heyman says Show is just getting himself fired up. It’ll be SHOW TIME when the match is on.

Video on Holly vs. Lesnar.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno

No Show, and Heyman is sitting in a lifeguard chair at ringside. Before the match, Cena (great pop on his entrance) apologizes for not rubbing the soap in Heyman’s eyes last week too. Gay jokes are made about Heyman and then Show/Lesnar/Heyman, which of course get the better reactions. Lesnar, Morgan and Rhyno come out but there’s a forklift in front of Show’s locker room, confirming that it’s going to be 3-2.

Lesnar and Benoit get things going with Brock running away and tagging in Morgan with no action. So it’s Morgan being sent face first into the buckle and Cena coming in to forearm him in the back. Cena gets taken into the corner and the numbers game starts to get the better of him as Heyman looks on in near disgust. Rhyno can’t keep Cena in trouble though and it’s back to Benoit, who gets beaten up a little more easily. Heyman is thrilled when Lesnar comes in to start stomping away but it’s quickly back to Cena. They’re certainly moving with the tags here so far.

A spinebuster cuts Cena off and it’s back to Rhyno for a cross arm choke, allowing Cole to remind us that Big Show was supposed to be involved here too for about the third time in a minute. Lesnar comes back in for the corner shoulders but misses a charge. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit so we hit the rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman’s jaw to drop in fear. Rhyno breaks up the Crossface and hits a spinebuster, only to charge into a drop toehold into the ropes.

That’s enough for Lesnar, who takes a walk but gets jumped by Hardcore Holly. Cops come in for the save and we take a break. Back with fans telling Heyman that he ate soap as Morgan comes back in to headbutt Benoit. Rhyno knocks Cena off the apron and Gores Benoit for two with Cena diving back in for the save. Morgan misses an elbow though and now the hot tag brings Cena in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cena dodges a Gore, setting up the FU for the pin on Rhyno.

Rating: C+. It’s rather impressive to turn a 4-2 handicap match into a regular tag inside of twenty minutes. Cena and Benoit battling the authority is fine though they’ll be better off when it gets down to Cena doing it alone as he’s much more anti-authority than Benoit and would fit better on his own. They’re both looking like stars though and that’s the best thing about the whole story.

Post match Cena and Benoit go after Heyman but Show comes in for some chokeslams.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda

Bradshaw beats them both up and hits a super Last Call for two on Sakoda. The double teaming starts working but, to my shock and awe, they get in an argument over who can pin Bradshaw. A double suplex gets one and another argument breaks out. Sakoda gets sent outside and Akio heads up, only to dive into the Clothesline to send Bradshaw to the Rumble.

Billy Gunn’s greatest moment ever: the wedding to Chuck. For some reason this is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music deal, though the previous two parts of the countdown were included.

Angle gives Eddie a pep talk and says the Guerrero family is messed up. If Eddie could control the Latino Heat, he could be WWE Champion. Tonight, they’re doing things by Angle’s rules: block out all emotions and concentrate on winning. Angle is kind of a jerk here.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Eddie’s music is very quiet for some reason, being little more than background noise. At least it picks up right near the end and then Angle’s music is normal. Angle has to hold Eddie back from wrecking his family so we stall a bit before the bell. Jr. and Angle start things off but Kurt wants a handshake from Eddie, who tags him instead. For some reason that doesn’t count as a tag so Angle takes Jr. down with a headlock instead. The fans think Chavo sucks, though they don’t specify which one.

Jr. gets shouldered out to the floor and that means some advice from his dad. Sr. comes in but Angle still won’t tag Eddie. Some armdrags have Angle in more control so Eddie comes in to try and get his hands on someone. That sends the Chavos bailing to the floor so now Angle brings Eddie in for real. The emotions draw Eddie outside and the double teaming has Eddie in trouble.

Sr. chokes in the corner before coming in for a bow and arrow hold, followed by a crossface chickenwing. Jr. is back in with a dropkick in the corner but Eddie scores with a dropkick and it’s Angle coming back in to clean house. Eddie tags himself back in and everything breaks down. Double suplexes take the villains down but Angle gets poked in the eye, causing him to Angle Slam Eddie by mistake. Sr. hits a DDT as Angle is taken away, leaving Jr. to frog splash Eddie for the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine here and it’s the right call to have Chavo get a pin to set up Sunday’s match. Having both Chavos in there wasn’t the worst idea in the world as it’s not like Jr. has any other friends at the moment. Throw in the touch of Eddie’s family betraying him and it’s not a bad story. Eddie vs. Angle should be awesome too and the slow build to get there is nice.

Overall Rating: B-. This was designed to be more about the big angles getting the focus and that’s a good thing. It’s also nice to have Holly vs. Lesnar get very little time as they’re not really hiding the fact that they want the match over as soon as possible. Things are starting to pick up for the early stages of Wrestlemania season and hopefully things stay hot when we really get going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6