IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble and so far that means focusing on the Smackdown World Title match. JBL, Kurt Angle and Big Show have been playing mind games with each other and I don’t see that ending well. Other than that, John Cena is still looking for anything to fill his time before he can get to the World Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s issues between everyone involved in Joy Giovanni’s disappearance, which was one of the most entertaining things they’ve done in a good while. Kurt Angle and company were behind the whole thing and that is likely going to have some repercussions this week.

Theodore Long is in the ring to open things up. He talks about what Angle did last week and promises that Angle will face the music tonight. Angle isn’t here yet, but when he arrives, it’s time for an official apology to Joy Giovanni, all by himself. Otherwise, he is out of the title shot at the Royal Rumble and won’t get another title shot this year. Now holla holla holla.

Tag Team Titles: Bashams vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

The Bashams are defending and has Orlando Jordan here with them. Doug takes Booker into the corner to start so Booker clotheslines him right back. Eddie comes in to a rather nice reaction and stomps away in the corner. The slingshot hilo hits and it’s time to start on the arm. Booker’s spinning kick to the face gets one and Eddie goes very old school with an airplane spin. Eddie is so dizzy that he staggers into the corner for a poke to Danny’s eyes.

Back to back planchas to the floor keep the champs down and we take a break. Back with Doug STILL in trouble to continue the rather long beatdown segment. A suplex finally gets Doug a breather and it’s off to Danny for some fresh Basham. Booker comes in and the champs do a very fast twin switch, which would seem to be a rather bad idea. The cheap shot lets Doug take Booker down and it’s back to Danny for some choking on the apron.

Danny grabs a seated full nelson and then gets two off a powerslam. The hold goes back on and Eddie gets yelled at for not holding the tag rope. In a rather brilliant move, Eddie unties the rope and holds onto it as he walks down the apron, though it doesn’t matter as Danny puts on the third full nelson in the span of a few minutes. A regular chinlock changes the pace a bit and that’s enough to trigger the comeback, including a spinebuster to drop Danny.

It’s Eddie coming back in and hitting the rope walk wristdrag/headscissors combination to the champs. Three Amigos have Doug in trouble so Eddie brings Orlando in for a bonus. The distraction lets Doug bring in a title but Eddie knocks it away and hits Doug with it….as the referee turns around. He SWEARS that he didn’t do it but that’s a DQ anyway.

Rating: C-. The long stretch of holds in the middle hurt it a lot but this got some time and was allowed to develop a bit. The Bashams are fine champions at the moment and a team can be built up to take them away in time. Eddie vs. Booker seems to be building as well and that could be a rather nice feud.

Post match Booker yells at Eddie, who walks out on him instead. Danny and Jordan jump Booker and Eddie makes a somewhat delayed save. A scissors kick into the frog splash takes care of Orlando.

JBL is upset over Jordan but Amy reminds him that the Bashams retained the title. Josh Matthews comes in so JBL can talk about some things he’s done in his life. Those things were a matter of doing business though and what Angle did crossed the line. Tonight, Angle will pay. I hope he gets a receipt.

Big Show and an upset Joy Giovanni are waiting on Angle. Show doesn’t think this is the place for her so she leaves.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Akio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Scotty’s return after having a benign tumor removed. Akio gets aggressive to start and stomps away but Scotty armdrags him into an armbar. They head outside with Akio sending him back first into the apron and grabbing his own armbar. A suplex gets two as the cameras stay close to avoid showing the large number of empty seats during this match. The abdominal stretch has Scotty in more trouble and a belly to back plants him again. Akio Time (corkscrew moonsault) misses and the Worm gives Scotty the pin.

Rating: D+. They were trying but there’s nothing you can do with two cruiserweight job guys fighting to be cannon fodder in the Rumble. The Worm still gets a reaction but other than some dancing, Scotty doesn’t have much more than that. Akio was aggressive here and it was one of his better performances.

John Cena is all fired up for the Royal Rumble because it’s about the movement. If you want some, come get some. Not much to say this week.

Steve Austin had a press conference on Wednesday. This show is airing on Thursday so tune in Monday to find out what he said!

Theodore Long tells Big Show that he can’t attack Angle until the apology takes place. Show isn’t convinced.

Here’s Carlito with his petition and he gets some signatures on the way to the ring. He promises to keep collecting signatures but here’s Heidenreich of all people to interrupt. Heidenreich actually signs as well because Long is forcing him into a casket match. He’s not scared of Undertaker but he doesn’t like caskets, so he’ll do anything to get out of that match. The lights go out and Undertaker appears on screen, promising to introduce Heidenreich to a casket. There’s a casket in front of him and Heidenreich is inside. This story can gladly end anytime. Like, say before we have to watch them fight again.

Lauren and Rochelle arrive and Show nearly hits them with a chair.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Rene shoulders him down to start and throws in his own You Can’t See Me. A much harder shoulder puts Rene on the floor and the fans are rather pleased. Cena spends a bit too much time high fiving a fan and walks into a dropkick. Back in and a clothesline connects as the announcers try to figure out what Rene’s trunks say.

The chinlock goes on for a bit as Tazz is confused why Rene isn’t the hometown favorite. Cena comes back with clotheslines and elbows for two, followed by the ProtoBomb for the same. The Shuffle actually misses, so Cena hits a DDT and then the Shuffle connects. The FU sends Cena tot he Rumble.

Rating: D+. I know I say this every week but Cena has nothing to do at the moment until we get to the Rumble because no one in the midcard can touch him. We’re just waiting to get him to the main event scene where he belongs, and having him beat up Rene one week and Kenzo Suzuki the next isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

Post match here’s Kenzo to jump Cena, likely setting up one more match between the two of them next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

JBL comes up to Big Show and offers to help him deal with Angle tonight. After the apology, they can beat him up. Show doesn’t say no.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They lock hands to start with Chavo monkey flipping him over, leading to a standoff. A reverse powerbomb plants Rey and Chavo gets to talk a little trash. Rey sends him to the apron though and it’s a springboard Stunner to put Chavo on the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey getting caught in the chinlock, which is a little better than coming back to the chinlock. Chavo starts kicking at the knee but Rey kicks him in the chest, followed by a springboard moonsault.

It’s right back to Rey’s knee though but Chavo switches to an armbar for some reason. Chavo dives into raised boots and falls into 619 position but thankfully stands up so Rey can get two off a basement dropkick. A faceplant gives Chavo two of his own with Rey putting his foot on the rope. Rey tries a running headscissors but gets planted with a reverse powerbomb for two as the fans are VERY impressed. Another headscissors works better for Rey though, meaning it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two are capable of having a good match. That almost always seems to be the case and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Rey winning was the mostly obvious ending but Chavo was trying here, giving us one of the better Smackdown matches in recent memory.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Kenzo gets another US Title shot.

Here’s a scared looking Kurt Angle coming through the crowd. After a break, he calls out Joy for the apology. Joy comes out and Angle reads an apology, blaming last week on his overly competitive spirit. Any pain and suffering was unintentional….and here’s Big Show. Once Show is in the ring, Angle bails to the floor because they can settle this at the Rumble. Cue JBL and the Cabinet to threaten Angle, followed by a handshake. Angle calls out Jindrak and Reigns so Show is down 7-1. Cole, after the handshake and smile: “Have JBL and Angle joined forces here?”

It’s the classic villain strategy of sending one or two people at a time before the villains wake up and rush Show at the same time. Show fights them off and even no sells a low blow from Jordan. The Angle Slam takes him down though and JBL chairs him in the head. JBL and Angle take turns hitting Show in his busted head and a great looking shot with the steps put Show on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The transitional phase continues as we slowly crawl towards Cena getting into the main event picture and having no one to touch him until then. At the same time though, Big Show, Angle and JBL are giving it all they have in the title feud and it’s working far better than I would have expected. The women are adding in enough of a difference that the story is working and I’m wanting to see the title match. The wrestling tonight wasn’t very good, but I’m digging the show enough at the moment. Things are building towards Cena at the Rumble though and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: Lucha Underground

Lucha Underground
Date: July 4, 2018
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Things are starting to get back to whatever passes for normal around here, meaning the 400 year old witch now has her life essence back and isn’t trapped between worlds because the man of 1000 deaths has put the Bird of War into a casket. Things might not be so dull this week around though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need in a recap.

We open with the traditional rapid fire recap, including a focus on Catrina, the Gauntlet, and the Gift of the Gods.

Catrina goes to see the seemingly dead Fenix, who she calls her love. She kisses him and sucks in his essence, which turns her normal gear into a red dress.

A sad Melissa Santos is looking at pictures of herself and Fenix (who wears the mask when they’re hanging out). Catrina comes in to see her, saying Fenix is never coming back. She gives Melissa the half of the medallion that kept her alive.

Big Bad Steve vs. Jake Strong

Steve is fighting for revenge after Strong, now known as the Savage, broke Famous B.’s ankle. Steve’s early clothesline has no effect so Strong forearms him in the back and sends him into the post. The Vader Bomb sets up a hard clothesline as it’s all Strong so far. The ankle lock makes Steve tap at 2:05. Oh yeah he’s going to be a thing around here.

Post match Strong powerbombs Steve on the floor.

Antonio Cueto is having a beer while King Cuerno is in his office. Cueto wants to know where the Gauntlet is but Cuerno says it was stolen. For some reason this earns Cuerno a match against Chavo Guerrero for an Aztec Medallion. Cage comes in and asks for a Lucha Underground Title match against Pentagon. That’s not happening, but Cage can have an Aztec Medallion match against Mil Muertes next week.

Daga/Kobra Moon vs. Johnny Mundo/Taya

Taya and Daga start things off by hitting the mat with Striker going into full on Joey Styles mode. No wonder I never liked either of them. It’s off to Mundo for some shots to the face but a backbreaker gives Daga two. A dropkicks knocks Daga into the corner for the tag though and the reptiles start in with the double teaming.

Mundo can’t roll over for the tag so he slides underneath and around Daga into a kick to the head. A springboard spinning crossbody gets two and it’s off to Taya for some swagger. Mundo superkicks Daga by mistake and there’s the tag to Moon. She takes turns kneeing both of them in the face but PJ Black comes out for a distraction, allowing Ricky Mundo to kick Moon down. The curb stomp gives Taya the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C-. Is there something to the Reptile Tribe that I just don’t get? Moon does nothing for me, Daga is just a guy, and Vibora, the only interesting member of the team because he’s a monster, doesn’t need the rest of them. The Worldwide Underground is cooler, but they’re only kind of working as faces. That being said, I wasn’t wild on them as heels last season so maybe this is the better option.

Post match Vibora comes out and wrecks the Worldwide Underground. He holds everyone but Johnny and says that one day they will bow down to her as their queen.

Someone goes down into a locked basement where we can see someone chained up. Another person (possibly the person who went down the stairs) is shown beating them as Matanza looks on. Antonio says it’s time for Matanza’s first sacrifice. It isn’t clear who any of the people in shadows were, but it’s possible that Matanza was the one doing the beating.

Mr. Pectacular vs. Matanza

German suplex and Wrath of the Gods in 40 seconds.

The lights go out and Pectacular disappears.

Aztec Medallion: Chavo Guerrero vs. King Cuerno

Chavo dives through the ropes to start fast and sends Cuerno into various things, including the ring. They trade clotheslines with Cuerno getting the better of it and backdropping Chavo to the floor. Cuerno’s charge just gets him sent into the balcony (not exactly a high one) but Chavo is rammed into the barricade.

That means a huge dive down onto Chavo but Cuerno gets crotched on top. A top rope superplex gives Chavo two and a catapult into the bottom rope is good for the same. Cuerno fights up and knees him outside, setting up the big suicide dive. That will never not look cool. Back in and the Thrill of the Hunt is broken up so Cuerno goes with a kneeling tombstone for the pin and the medallion at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Chavo is fine in this role as he has enough experience and credentials to it work well enough but there was no drama about who was winning here. Cuerno is still a solid name in the midcard and one of my favorites in the promotion. Having him involved in the Gauntlet story could go somewhere and hopefully they have somewhere to take him from here.

Overall Rating: C-. The squashes were fun but this week was much more about setting things up for the future, meaning the show itself wasn’t all that great. It’s still very early in the season though and that means they have a ton of time to put things together. The important thing here though is you can see where they’re going and that means the future should be fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have changed in a big way around here as Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit has jumped over to Monday Night Raw to go after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. That leaves a pretty big hole to fill at the top of the card and I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Sounds like Wrestlemania season to me. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Well that’s a big way to start things up. Heyman rightfully looks terrified as Vince yells about how this should have been a celebration of Chris Benoit winning the Royal Rumble. Benoit isn’t going to be here tonight though because he’s on Raw now with Steve Austin. This is all Heyman’s fault because Benoit used the legal loophole of the Royal Rumble winner not having to face a specific champion at Wrestlemania. That’s a much better worded explanation than the somewhat jumbled version we got on Raw.

Heyman goes into a rant about people bailing on Vince over the years and how Vince would say SCREW THEM because it’s time to give someone else a chance. With Vince asking for the point, Heyman says someone else is getting a chance tonight with a 15 man Royal Rumble for a title shot at No Way Out. The fifteen people will be the ones who were in the Rumble on Sunday but the injured Matt Morgan and the gone Benoit will be replaced by Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero. Vince signs off on it and Heyman looks relieved.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London

Kidman and London are challenging. An early headscissors puts Danny down as Cole points out that Kidman and London haven’t teamed together many times. Hence why they’re #1 contenders of course. Danny low bridges London to the floor and makes the blind switch, setting up a spinning belly to back suplex for two.

The champs start in on London’s back as the announcers talk about the Royal Rumble tonight. London finally rolls Doug away and gets the tag off to Kidman to clean house. An enziguri gets two on Doug and there’s the BK Bomb to make things worse. Another switch lets Danny crotch Kidman on top though and a hanging DDT out of the corner retains the titles.

Rating: D. The time killed this as there’s not much you can do in less than four minutes. At least they’ve gotten away from having Shaniqua be the focus of the champions as that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. It also doesn’t do the company any favors to have two tag divisions on life support but that’s been the case for a long time now.

Angle is in Heyman’s office to draw his number, which he again dedicates to the troops. He gets his number and runs off, seeming to be a bit nervous.

Chavo Guerrero Sr. is worried about Chavo Jr.’s injuries at Eddie’s hands. Jr. says his injuries will heal but the internal scars will never go away. He swears revenge on Eddie so he can prove that he’s the real star.

Eddie is happy with his number. Rey Mysterio comes in, along with boxing champion Jorge Paez. Spanish is spoken and Rey is ready to defend the Cruiserweight Title.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie and tells her to grab his ball. Heyman comes in to say she’s not grabbing anyone’s balls. Cena calls him Captain Buzzkill and seems to like his number. Rhyno comes in and asks Cena about his knee. That earns him a bad smell joke, with Cena saying Heyman has the soap.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Noble has the blind Nidia with him in a Rumble rematch. Rey takes him down to the mat for some grappling with Noble getting the better of it. The test of strength is countered with a monkey flip and Noble gets knocked into the ropes. It’s way too early for the 619 though as Noble elbows him in the face but accidentally gets tripped by Nidia again. Thankfully they don’t repeat Sunday’s ending as Noble gets up at two and starts in on Mysterio’s back.

It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch before Noble bends the ribs and back around the post. That always looks so painful. A superplex plants Rey but Jamie can’t follow up. The delay lets Mysterio start the comeback and a Code Red gets two. Now the 619 can connect but Rey gets sent outside after missing the West Coast Pop. Jamie goes up top but Nidia accidentally gets in his way. He throws her inside but she avoids a charge, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better this was when you give them a little more time and a story to the match to let the match go somewhere. Noble and Mysterio are both talented performers and when they’re given a few resources, you can have a good match. The Nidia story needed to go somewhere a few weeks ago but it’s nice to have them finally do something with her.

Post match the sunglasses come off and Nidia can see. Cole: “Nidia just screwed her boyfriend!” That’s not very PG.

New correspondent RUe (the R and U are both capitalized on screen) De Bona talks about the history of WWE and Playboy because we’re still not supposed to know about Sable and Torrie Wilson being in Playboy.

Big Show takes his turn to hit on Dawn Marie (understandable) and draws his number.

Brock Lesnar isn’t happy with Goldberg and wants to teach him a lesson. He’s tired of hearing about Goldberg, who is just a Brock Lesnar wannabe. His method of dealing with Goldberg: a non-title open challenge for tonight.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are drawing numbers when someone runs in to say Eddie has been attacked. Medics are checking on him with Rey at his side when the Chavos come in to ask what happened. Rey chases them off.

Post break, Eddie is taken away in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Brock wastes no time in firing off the shoulders in the corner to put Jordan on the floor. Back in and Jordan hits a quick dropkick from behind to put Lesnar on the floor, which isn’t the best idea in the world. Some rights and lefts just annoy Lesnar so he snaps off a powerslam. It’s off to an arm trap choke that Lesnar spent most of the match on against Holly. Jordan fights out and hits some more dropkicks but gets caught in the Brock Lock for the tap.

Rating: D-. A match that doesn’t even make it four and a half minutes doesn’t need a hold that lasts over a minute. Lesnar slumming it lately isn’t doing anyone much good, mainly the audience as these things have been not only bad, but really dull. Jordan doesn’t belong on the main roster as he’s just not any good and could be any career jobber.

Wrestlers went to Walter Reed Military Hospital.

We look at Undertaker’s gong leading to Kane being eliminated on Sunday and distracting him again on Monday.

Vince isn’t worried because Undertaker is dead and buried. Wrestling heels being cocky and stupid is one of my favorite tropes.

Angle accuses Heyman of sending the Chavos after Eddie but Heyman says Eddie has regained consciousness. Chavo Jr. isn’t taking Eddie’s place as Angle thinks so Angle’s odds go up if Eddie isn’t out there.

Royal Rumble

Kurt Angle is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2 with 90 second intervals. Rhyno wastes no time in hitting a Gore but instead of going for an elimination, he stomps away in the corner. An Angle Slam cuts Rhyno off and it’s Charlie Haas in at #3. He punches both guys and hits a dropkick on Angle can’t get rid of Rhyno. Angle slips back in from the apron and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #4. Benjamin goes after Angle as well with the exploder suplex and Rhyno takes the jump over Haas’ back onto his own back.

Bradshaw is in at #5 for the Clothesline to Rhyno and a big boot to Benjamin. We take an abrupt break and come back with Tajiri in at #7 after Cat, in at #6, has already been eliminated. Of course we go through a full replay of his dancing, because IT’S JUST SO FUNNY. We come back with Billy Gunn coming in at #8 for a Fameasser on Bradshaw. Tajiri adds a Buzzsaw kick as the ring is about as full as it needs to be. Angle gets the ankle lock on Benjamin and it’s Big Show in at #9 to get everyone’s attention.

They all go after him but get shoved away with Tajiri getting chokeslammed out. Bradshaw misses a charge and goes out to thin things out a bit. John Cena, on a bad knee, is in at #10. Some clotheslines put Show on the apron but not out as we take another break. Back with Nunzio having come in at #11 and being eliminated by Cena and A-Train in at #12. Rhyno seems to have been eliminated during the break as well. Eddie, holding his head, is in at #13 as A-Train is eliminated.

Rikishi is in at #14 for a superkick to put Gunn on the apron. Show gets knocked down in the corner and takes a Stinkface with a screaming Shelton getting one as well. There’s one to Gunn as well as Hardcore Holly is in at #15, giving us a final grouping of Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Big Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly. Show chokes Cena to the floor and gets rid of him so everyone gangs up on Show, with Cena pulling him from the floor for the elimination. With nothing else going on, here’s a highlight package of some of the eliminations.

Eddie backdrops Haas out and Angle tosses Benjamin. An Angle Slam and frog splash hit Rikishi, which isn’t the best idea with someone of his size in a battle royal. Angle dumps Holly like the non-main eventer that he is to get us down to four. Eddie flips Gunn out and it’s Eddie, Angle and Rikishi to go. Rikishi superkicks Angle and chokeslams Eddie but misses the Rump Shaker on Angle.

That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to get together and eliminate Rikishi so we can have a heck of a final pairing. They slug it out until Angle starts rolling the German suplexes. Eddie hangs on and lands on the apron, even managing to get in an ankle lock on Angle. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s reversed into the same hold on Eddie. That’s reversed with a roll over the top but Eddie holds on with his feet just inches above the floor.

Back in and Eddie rolls the vertical suplexes and goes up top in a pretty dumb move. Angle runs the ropes and headbutts him, sending both guys to the ropes for a double crotching. With Eddie already staggered, Angle grabs the sleeper, which Tazz says would make this easy like Sunday morning. It switches to a chinlock, which of course energizes Eddie to bring him back to his feet. Angle gets sent to the apron for a gasp but tries a suplex to the floor. Eddie reverses that into one of his own, pulls Angle back a few steps, and throws Angle out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: A-. They did exactly what they needed to do here by setting up a new challenger in a match that didn’t drag. There were some names who didn’t need to be included in something like this and I’m glad they got rid of Holly so quickly. The experiment is over and that’s best for everyone involved. It’s hard to make a nearly forty minute match feel like less than half of that but they pulled it off here. Great match, exactly right result and nothing that felt like a dead spot.

Overall Rating: B. The main event taking up a third of the show was a good idea and while that was great, there’s only so much you can do when your first hour includes Orlando Jordan and a bad Bashams match. It’s still a very good show because that one match was really that great. The top of the card is really starting to come together and if the rest of the show can come close to it, we’re in for a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2004
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and most of Sunday is already set. You can always use more focus on the Rumble itself, but I have a bad feeling we might be in for a heavy dose of Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar tonight. I for one can’t get enough of the WWE Champion vs. the race car driver. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chavo Guerrero turning on his uncle Eddie, leading to Kurt Angle getting involved and setting up a tag match with Chavo and his dad vs. Eddie/Angle tonight. I’m not a big Chavo fan but he’s been money in this feud.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rey tries hammering away but a hard shoulder puts him down. Palumbo tries a powerbomb, earning all those right hands to the head. The 619 is loaded up early on but Johnny Stamboli low bridges Rey to the floor. Back in and Palumbo starts in on the knee by ramming it into the mat and grabbing a half crab. Ever the creative one, Rey flings his free leg back to kick Palumbo, whose staggering puts Rey closer to the ropes.

Instead of getting kicked again, Palumbo switched to a regular Boston crab. That’s broken up so Palumbo puts him on top, only to get caught with a top rope seated senton. A springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gives Mysterio two but Nunzio’s distraction lets Palumbo kick his head off. Back up and Palumbo tries a fireman’s carry, only to get reversed into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D. The problem here was with Palumbo, who clearly had no idea how to wrestle a match against someone that much smaller than him. While he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, Palumbo is big enough to wrestle a power style here and that’s not what we got. Mysterio was trying but Palumbo just isn’t that good.

Post match the FBI comes in and gives Mysterio the bigger beatdown. Jamie Noble comes out and pays them off before his match with Mysterio on Sunday. Of note: does anyone remember that Nunzio and Noble are supposed to be cousins? I don’t remember the last time it was mentioned and it certainly wasn’t here.

Paul Heyman is really not happy with John Cena and Chris Benoit for ruining the morality of this show, which certainly isn’t related to making him eat soap last week. Therefore tonight, for the sake of restoring the morals that this company were based on, they’ll be teaming up against Big Show/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno. The four of them just happen to be standing off camera.

Kurt Angle yells at Chavo and Chavo over messing with the family bond. He grew up under the pressure of having four older brothers who were better athletes than him. His way out? He won an Olympic gold medal. They’ll learn a lesson in the ring tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

No Akio/Sakoda at ringside. Kidman starts fast with an armdrag and a hurricanrana but gets pulled off the top for a crash. It’s off to an armbar on Kidman’s recently repaired shoulder in a smart move. Tazz thinks Tajiri is smart for eating so much rice and a spinning kick to the arm seems to support that line of thinking. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick but Kidman misses the shooting star. A Buzzsaw kick sends Tajiri to the Rumble.

Brock and Big Show are in the back to talk about the match and Show is sick of Lesnar following him around to “protect” him from Hardcore Holly. Show needs some time to himself and has the cops to protect him. Therefore, tonight Show is taking tonight off and after Sunday, he’s coming after the WWE Title, whether Lesnar or someone else holds it.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

A-Train has shaved his beard and possibly some of his chest hair. Shannon drop toeholds him into the middle buckle to start but gets THROWN into the same corner for a little more impact. We hit something close to a Gory Stretch but cue the Cat of all people to dance, setting up a rollup to give Shannon two. A-Train will have none of that and sends him into the steps, followed by the Train Wreck for the fast pin.

Team Lesnar is in Heyman’s office but Paul wants to know where Show is. Lesnar explains things but Heyman says Show is just getting himself fired up. It’ll be SHOW TIME when the match is on.

Video on Holly vs. Lesnar.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno

No Show, and Heyman is sitting in a lifeguard chair at ringside. Before the match, Cena (great pop on his entrance) apologizes for not rubbing the soap in Heyman’s eyes last week too. Gay jokes are made about Heyman and then Show/Lesnar/Heyman, which of course get the better reactions. Lesnar, Morgan and Rhyno come out but there’s a forklift in front of Show’s locker room, confirming that it’s going to be 3-2.

Lesnar and Benoit get things going with Brock running away and tagging in Morgan with no action. So it’s Morgan being sent face first into the buckle and Cena coming in to forearm him in the back. Cena gets taken into the corner and the numbers game starts to get the better of him as Heyman looks on in near disgust. Rhyno can’t keep Cena in trouble though and it’s back to Benoit, who gets beaten up a little more easily. Heyman is thrilled when Lesnar comes in to start stomping away but it’s quickly back to Cena. They’re certainly moving with the tags here so far.

A spinebuster cuts Cena off and it’s back to Rhyno for a cross arm choke, allowing Cole to remind us that Big Show was supposed to be involved here too for about the third time in a minute. Lesnar comes back in for the corner shoulders but misses a charge. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit so we hit the rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman’s jaw to drop in fear. Rhyno breaks up the Crossface and hits a spinebuster, only to charge into a drop toehold into the ropes.

That’s enough for Lesnar, who takes a walk but gets jumped by Hardcore Holly. Cops come in for the save and we take a break. Back with fans telling Heyman that he ate soap as Morgan comes back in to headbutt Benoit. Rhyno knocks Cena off the apron and Gores Benoit for two with Cena diving back in for the save. Morgan misses an elbow though and now the hot tag brings Cena in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cena dodges a Gore, setting up the FU for the pin on Rhyno.

Rating: C+. It’s rather impressive to turn a 4-2 handicap match into a regular tag inside of twenty minutes. Cena and Benoit battling the authority is fine though they’ll be better off when it gets down to Cena doing it alone as he’s much more anti-authority than Benoit and would fit better on his own. They’re both looking like stars though and that’s the best thing about the whole story.

Post match Cena and Benoit go after Heyman but Show comes in for some chokeslams.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda

Bradshaw beats them both up and hits a super Last Call for two on Sakoda. The double teaming starts working but, to my shock and awe, they get in an argument over who can pin Bradshaw. A double suplex gets one and another argument breaks out. Sakoda gets sent outside and Akio heads up, only to dive into the Clothesline to send Bradshaw to the Rumble.

Billy Gunn’s greatest moment ever: the wedding to Chuck. For some reason this is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music deal, though the previous two parts of the countdown were included.

Angle gives Eddie a pep talk and says the Guerrero family is messed up. If Eddie could control the Latino Heat, he could be WWE Champion. Tonight, they’re doing things by Angle’s rules: block out all emotions and concentrate on winning. Angle is kind of a jerk here.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Eddie’s music is very quiet for some reason, being little more than background noise. At least it picks up right near the end and then Angle’s music is normal. Angle has to hold Eddie back from wrecking his family so we stall a bit before the bell. Jr. and Angle start things off but Kurt wants a handshake from Eddie, who tags him instead. For some reason that doesn’t count as a tag so Angle takes Jr. down with a headlock instead. The fans think Chavo sucks, though they don’t specify which one.

Jr. gets shouldered out to the floor and that means some advice from his dad. Sr. comes in but Angle still won’t tag Eddie. Some armdrags have Angle in more control so Eddie comes in to try and get his hands on someone. That sends the Chavos bailing to the floor so now Angle brings Eddie in for real. The emotions draw Eddie outside and the double teaming has Eddie in trouble.

Sr. chokes in the corner before coming in for a bow and arrow hold, followed by a crossface chickenwing. Jr. is back in with a dropkick in the corner but Eddie scores with a dropkick and it’s Angle coming back in to clean house. Eddie tags himself back in and everything breaks down. Double suplexes take the villains down but Angle gets poked in the eye, causing him to Angle Slam Eddie by mistake. Sr. hits a DDT as Angle is taken away, leaving Jr. to frog splash Eddie for the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine here and it’s the right call to have Chavo get a pin to set up Sunday’s match. Having both Chavos in there wasn’t the worst idea in the world as it’s not like Jr. has any other friends at the moment. Throw in the touch of Eddie’s family betraying him and it’s not a bad story. Eddie vs. Angle should be awesome too and the slow build to get there is nice.

Overall Rating: B-. This was designed to be more about the big angles getting the focus and that’s a good thing. It’s also nice to have Holly vs. Lesnar get very little time as they’re not really hiding the fact that they want the match over as soon as possible. Things are starting to pick up for the early stages of Wrestlemania season and hopefully things stay hot when we really get going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 8, 2004
Location: Van Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 3,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the second show of the year and hopefully it’s an improvement on the first. We’ve got less than three weeks before the Royal Rumble and the card is finally starting to take some shape. The Royal Rumble itself should be a lot of fun by definition, though we still need some more people being announced for the match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the split of Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle saying it was due to a breakdown of family values.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to open things up. Last week was supposed to be the start of a great year but he saw one of the greatest tag teams ever self destruct. Angle calls Chavo out to fix this right now so here he comes, now with his own music instead of the Los Guerreros theme. Angle thinks Chavo should want to do what’s right for his family but hang on because we need an EDDIE chant.

Chavo goes with the classic heel response of it was for Eddie’s own good and wants to slap Eddie for good measure. Maybe he’ll even slap Kurt too! Cue Eddie to chase Chavo off (I like that it took him a second to get there as it feels a bit more natural) but Kurt again plays peacekeeper. Things settle down a bit with Angle saying Chavo was the one person there when Eddie needed help the most (implying his drug issues). We get a very shaky handshake.

We look back at Hardcore Holly attacking Big Show with a chair last week.

Big Show can’t wait to get his hands on Holly in a street fight tonight.

Chris Benoit is here for a match but Paul Heyman, with a broken finger thanks to last week, makes it a mini Royal Rumble instead with Benoit vs. the FBI.

Mini Royal Rumble

Benoit is in at #1 and Johnny Stamboli is in at #2 with two minute intervals. Benoit wastes no time in elbowing Stamboli in the face but it’s too early to get him out. Stamboli can’t get Benoit out either though (well duh) and the Sharpshooter makes Stamboli tap as Chuck Palumbo is in at #3. As this goes on, Tazz rips Cole apart for saying various dumb things and says he has to be him. I could go for a heel Tazz.

Benoit fights off the double team and gets rid of Stamboli. There’s a Crossface to Palumbo and, as you might have guessed, he’s still tapping as Nunzio is in at #4. Reality sets in quickly for Nunzio as Benoit is waiting him but Palumbo is back up. Benoit dumps Nunzio anyway and the fans are WAY behind Benoit here. Well either that or the canned audio is. Palumbo misses the superkick and gets backdropped out to give Benoit the win.

Rating: D. This was just a workout for Benoit, which is entirely the point of having the FBI around. The good thing though is they’re pushing the heck out of Benoit, who has gone through a bunch of stuff in the last year and deserves to be in the main event. He and John Cena feel untouchable right now and it would be great to see him finally move up to the main event where he’s belonged for a long time now.

Heyman isn’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The Bashams are defending….or at least that’s the plan as they jump Rikishi and Scotty from behind and beat them down. Scotty takes a belt shot to the head and there seems to be no match. Hang on a second though as here’s Kurt to say he’s just left Heyman’s office. We have a replacement team and the title match is on. So in the span of two minutes, Angle ran to Heyman’s office, knew that Rikishi and Scotty weren’t ready to go, and convinced Heyman to make the match? That’s Olympic speed.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are still defending. Danny shoulders Eddie down to start so Chavo comes in for a double back elbow. The announcers argue a lot more than usual as Chavo gets two off a small package. It’s already time for some cheating with Eddie choking in the corner and clapping his hands in place of a tag. As usual, the fans eat it up like fried yak knees. Ever the nice uncle, Eddie makes a blind tag and jumps behind Doug, who punches the heck out of Chavo until Eddie taps him on the shoulder for another right hand.

Danny pulls Doug out to the floor to avoid a Frog splash though and a low bridge sends Eddie outside in a big heap. Back from a break with Eddie still in trouble and we hit the half crab. A double slingshot suplex drops Eddie again and we actually get a CHAVO chant for a change. Shaniqua adds some choking (must have learned it from Eddie) as Tazz tries to figure out if a world of hurt is like a planet of pain.

A good powerbomb works on the back even more and this time Chavo makes a save. Eddie finally rolls out of a double arm crank and makes the hot tag so dropkicks can abound. The tornado DDT gets two on Danny with Doug making a save and the champs are knocked to the floor. Stereo dives have them in even more trouble and the fans are rather pleased at the moment. Back in and Chavo tries a sunset flip but Danny sits down on it with Shaniqua grabbing his hands to retain the titles.

Rating: B. If there was a story going on with Eddie and Chavo, they would have been nuts to not change the titles there. Eddie sold this to perfection and the match was a great time throughout. Odds are Chavo somehow blames Eddie for the loss and Angle stays involved, which is all the heel turn needs to be. Good match here and probably the best Bashams match ever.

Post match the Bashams beat Eddie down while Chavo sits in a chair. Shaniqua is pleased as the Bashams leave….and Chavo comes in to beat on Eddie even more for the full turn. More right hands bust Eddie open and Chavo is very pleased. As a bonus, he kicks Eddie in the head and steals the lowrider. The fans boo the heck out of him too because this is a story that has been told well and is a classic for a reason. You can run with the jealousy storyline for months and the fact that they’re family makes it even better. Really well done angle after a very good match.

A-Train vs. John Cena

Cena’s pre-match rap makes Star Wars references about A-Train so it’s at least good for a laugh. A-Train drives him into the corner but Cena punches his way to freedom. A butterfly suplex gives A-Train two and we hit a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Cena powers up, hits the ProtoBomb and a top rope elbow to the back of the head. The Shuffle and FU give Cena the fast and impressive win as he just shrugged off whatever A-Train hit him with and won without much effort. That’s what he should be doing too.

Angle checks on the bloody Eddie, who breaks down in tears as Angle talks about what Chavo did. Kurt apologizes because this might have been his fault. Thanks for that Kurt.

Akio vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title and only Sakoda is here with Akio as Tajiri has a match later tonight. Rey armdrags him down to start and we’re off to an early headlock. That goes nowhere so Akio cranks it up in a hurry with a buckle bomb to rock Rey. A sliding legdrop to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the Tree of Woe.

Akio tries to get a bit too fast though and slides low, crotching himself against the post in the process. Rey gets two off a springboard crossbody but Akio kicks him out of the air for the same. Sakoda tries to interfere again and gets caught on the ropes with Akio being knocked next to him for a double 619. With the other goon taken care of, the West Coast Pop finishes Akio.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all for four and a half minutes with both guys looking good and working hard. Akio and Sakoda are very low on the totem pole at the moment but with enough effort (which they’ve shown so far), they could turn into something useful. Mysterio on top of the division is fine, though it’s only going to last for so long without a good challenger.

Billy Gunn has a Best of Billy Gunn countdown, ranging over the next three weeks until he returns at the Royal Rumble. #3: the Smoking Gunns win their first Tag Team Titles. So Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly are both getting pushes. What a happy new year.

Hardcore Holly thinks Josh Matthews is a smart guy (oh dear) but Big Show shouldn’t challenge Holly to a street fight in Alabama.

Nidia tries to find Jamie Noble, who is on his way. Paul Heyman comes in and puts her in the match instead.

Wrestlemania recall: Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.

Nidia vs. Tajiri

A few takedowns and an armdrag set up a legsweep for the pin to give Tajiri the title shot at the Rumble. Dang Tough Enough must have some really bad trainers.

Post match Tajiri loads up the big kick but Mysterio makes the save and helps Nidia until Jamie finally arrives. Noble decks Rey for reasons of general jerkishness.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show

Non-title street fight with Brock Lesnar on commentary. Cole: “What is Lesnar doing out here?” Doing commentary for a match involving his next challenger you moron. Tazz is right to insult him so often. There are weapons at ringside but Show brings out the chair that Holly used to bust him open last week. Did he steal that from whatever arena they were in?

Holly is in jeans and comes out to fight in the aisle but gets headbutted in short order. They get inside with Holly breaking a broom over his back, only to be thrown outside without much effort. Holly gets in a chair shot and goes after Lesnar, which just allows Big Show to get in a shot from behind. Back in and Holly gets beaten down again, only to get in some trashcan shots to the head for the first near fall. As you might expect, Holly can’t get the full nelson so he uses pepper spray and kicks him low. For a unique idea, Holly wraps a chair around Show’s neck and pulls back for a submission.

Rating: D. Well, I guess the one person in the world who wanted to see Hardcore Holly and Big Show have a street fight got what they had been waiting for. Other than that though, this was just two people hitting each other with weapons and a different kind of finish. The fact that it was Hardcore Holly beating up Big Show is almost too much to swallow though.

Lesnar runs away from Holly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Smackdown is two different worlds at the moment as you can see the promised land of Cena, Benoit and Guerrero getting ready to take things over but we have to put up with Holly for a few more weeks because wrestling must make you suffer. Holly might be the most lame duck challenger of all time and all of the other prospective opponents for Lesnar make it that much harder to sit through. There’s some more good than bad though on here as you have the talented guys taking up a lot of the show and that makes it a lot easier to sit through. Just forget Holly already and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 20, 2003
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Survivor Series and that means a few months of calm as Smackdown doesn’t have a pay per view until January and it’s own show isn’t until February. There are several ways to go with the World Title hunt at the moment but Chris Benoit, who made Brock Lesnar tap out on Sunday, should be the likely next challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very banged up Vince McMahon, accompanied by Sable, to get things going. Vince can barely breathe once he gets in and says he almost died. He was pummeled and bleeding from various places to the point that he had to have a transfusion. Undertaker “practically pummeled his privates” and Sable had to relieve the pain with a massage. Then Undertaker shattered his ankle and hit him in the head with a shovel.

After all that they went to the grave but Vince never lost faith. The higher power sent an avenging angel in the form of Kane and Vince was saved. Kane will be here tonight for Undertaker’s eulogy and Vince has never felt more powerful. He feels invincible and untouchable….and here’s John Cena.

Vince is confused and Cena accuses him of stealing his catchphrases. Maybe Vince just has nothing to touch. We could ask Sable, who is just here for the money. When Vince is gone, she comes to tickle Cena’s funny bone. Vince is standing in his ring so Cena offers to stretch him. Oh and Sable is good for one thing: she taught Vince how to suck. Funny stuff, and it’s nice to see Cena getting a rub like this.

Brock Lesnar yells at his Survivor Series team, blaming them for the loss. They’re the reasons he tapped out to Chris Benoit and THEY MADE THE FANS CHANT YOU TAPPED OUT! He’s the WWE Champion and that shouldn’t happen to him. He’ll be getting respect and tonight, the team will be facing the members of Team Angle tonight. Lesnar gives them all individual pep talks and wants them out of his face because they disgust him.

Rey Mysterio vs. Akio

Tajiri and Sakoda only come to the entrance so Akio is here alone. Rey slugs away to start but gets dropped by a hard shoulder from the bigger Akio. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors works a bit better for Mysterio so Akio takes him down and pulls on the arms while putting his foot on Rey’s head. One heck of a clothesline turns Rey inside out for two and we hit the neck crank.

For some reason Akio goes up top but gets crotched down, which Cole thinks might be a turning point. You mean because control turned on a point Cole? Rey gets two off a tornado DDT but gets kicked in the face. Akio’s corkscrew moonsault misses though and it’s the 619 to set up the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C. This was getting going when they wrapped it up. Mysterio beating one of Tajiri’s goons should move him closer to a Cruiserweight Title shot, which would be a nice story for everyone involved. Tajiri is starting to get some traction so eventually losing the title to Mysterio would work well. As usual, having goons around is a great way to extend a feud like this.

Paul Heyman is looking for Shannon Moore but finds the Bashams chained up with a ball gag in Danny’s mouth as Shaniqua whips them. CHAMPIONS ladies and gentlemen. Shaniqua says they’re celebrating and the Bashams seem very pleased but Shannon comes in to save us all. Heyman is ready to make Shannon a star and he has a match next. His opponent: Matt Morgan.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon slaps him in the face and hammers away to start, earning a heck of a faceplant. Matt chokes in the corner and hits a hard slam, only to have Shannon kick him in the head. Morgan throws him around even more, including a one handed toss over the top, giving us one of Shannon’s great bumps. Back in and Matt pulls him up at two, followed by a spinning sitout powerbomb to complete the destruction.

Ad for Smackdown, showing nothing but the women in various stages of undress. I’ve heard of worse advertising campaigns, but this feels so out there compared to today’s family friendly stuff.

A-Train vs. Bradshaw

Rematch from last week because of reasons. The brawl is on in the aisle before the bell, meaning we’re officially getting a bonus. They get inside with Bradshaw pounding on the back and in the corner until A-Train knocks him down and gets two off a splash. Bradshaw gets a horrible looking DDT (A-Train fell to the side) and they’re both down. A-Train is sent outside and it’s a Derailer on the floor to knock Bradshaw silly. That’s only good for two back inside and Bradshaw gets the same off a small package. A-Train’s Vader Bomb hits a raised boot and a bicycle kick blocks the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. Who in the world was asking for this to be a trilogy? They had two matches and Bradshaw pinned A-Train on Sunday. Other than Hardcore Holly, it’s not like you can get much lower on the Angle team than Bradshaw so why would I want to see him fight over and over? Not the worst match but some of the least interest I can imagine having.

Nathan Jones vs. Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar is with Jones. Benoit goes straight for the knee but gets shoved outside for his efforts. Back in and Jones gets low bridged to the floor because Jones may be strong but Benoit is smart. Lesnar throws him back in and Jones doesn’t disappoint him by grabbing a powerslam. A chinlock is somewhat more disappointing but a spinning side slam gets two.

It’s already back to the chinlock (try a neck crank next time) until Benoit fights up and avoids a running big boot. The rolling German suplexes set up a missile dropkick (pretty rare for Benoit) but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Benoit slips out of a gorilla press, slaps on the Crossface, takes Lesnar out, grabs the Crossface again and gets the tap.

Rating: D+. Benoit was trying here and Jones could have been worse, but it’s clear that he’s not ready for this spot no matter how much WWE is obsessed with his look. Thankfully it looks like they’re setting up Benoit vs. Lesnar, likely in the big TV show when they don’t have a pay per view in December, so at least we have something to look forward to.

Post match Lesnar goes after Benoit but Hardcore Holly runs in and puts on the dreaded full nelson until Heyman and security come out to have Holly arrested. Oh and he’s indefinitely suspended too. As I said before the pay per view: I still don’t know why WWE thinks people care about Holly.

Here’s Kane to eulogize Undertaker. Kane talks about how the man we knew as Undertaker has been dead for a long time. They used to be monsters together and strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. Then Undertaker betrayed his family by having compassion and defended Stephanie (add this to the list of stories she’s driving without being here).

A monster isn’t supposed to have weaknesses and Undertaker is a fraud. The people cheering for him are true to their nature, unlike Undertaker who was dead before Survivor Series. All Kane can say to him is rest in peace. That’s the start of a long term story if I’ve ever heard one.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending after successfully doing so this Sunday on Heat. The referee throws Akio and Sakoda out so this is going to be one on one. Jamie wastes no time in chopping away as the announcers recap Tajiri blinding Nidia. Noble gets sent outside and walks back in for a spinning kick to the shoulder.

We hit the armbar for a bit until Tajiri kicks him in the arm again to cut off the comeback. La majistral gets two on the champ so he kicks Noble in the head to slow him down again. Another kick to the head gets two but the Buzzsaw kick misses. Noble’s tiger bomb gets two as Tajiri gets his foot on the ropes. Cue the blind Nidia for an accidental distraction, allowing Tajiri to grab a rollup (with jeans) to retain.

Rating: C. Can we please let these two have about ten minutes for once? If you add up both of their matches, they don’t even have nine minutes total. They have chemistry but you can’t get much out there in less than five minutes, especially with the ending being angle advancement. That being said, there’s a good chance this is it for Jamie as he’s lost twice in a row now and seems to be moving on to something else. Unfortunately, that something else is likely not going to get him much TV time.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team wants to get their hands on Los Guerreros and put them on the shelf, just like Eddie and Chavo did to them. Haas: “What he said.”

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The brawl is on in a hurry with Chavo dropkicking Shelton down. That’s it for Los Guerreros to start as Shelton goes for Chavo’s knee and takes over early on. Haas comes in and grabs a Boston crab for a few seconds before it’s back to Shelton for more knee work. The Haas of Pain goes on but Eddie is right there to rake his boot over Haas’ eyes for the break. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie and things speed up in a hurry. Shelton gets monkey flipped into Haas and a rope walk hurricanrana drops Charlie again. Chavo tornado DDTs Benjamin and springboards into a bulldog on Haas, setting up a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Another match that could have been better with more time but I’ll take what I can get. At least what we had was good while it lasted and it’s nice to see Eddie getting a win for a change. It’s pretty clear that there’s something big coming between he and Chavo and I’m all for that, especially if it goes somewhere bigger for Eddie.

Post match Haas and Benjamin clean house and wreck Chavo’s knee, including wrapping a chair around it and putting on the Haas of Pain. Eddie makes the save with another chair but Chavo wants to know what’s going on.

The Cat got a key to Boise, Idaho in a really badly scripted segment. He debuts next week. Back in the arena, Cole dances to Cat’s music.

Chavo is still yelling at Eddie and blames him for everything while getting treatment for his knee. Eddie leaves and Chavo yells at the trainer, saying it’s time to rely on his real friends.

Vince gives Big Show a pep talk.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Non-title because Big Show is holding the title hostage. Cena starts fast with a baseball slide but walks into a hard clothesline to cut him down. That’s enough for Cole to compare Show’s hand to a frying pan because that’s what he does every time Show chops someone. A big clubbing forearm to the back has Cena in early trouble and Show pulls on his face. Cena gets tossed around the ring, leaving him down so Show can stand on his head.

Cena gets in a dropkick and avoids a big boot to crotch Show on top. The Throwback gets two and Cena grabs a chair…..as a decoy so he can kick Show low. Well to be fair he was still a heel like two weeks ago. That doesn’t seem to have much effort so Show hammers on Cena in the corner. The chain to the head rocks Show again but Cena collapses in an FU attempt. They head outside with Show loading up the announcers’ table, only to drive Cena back first into the post instead.

Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Show to grab the steps. He lifts them above his head in the fashion only done for the sake of having Cena kick his knee out and send him face first into said steps. Another shot with the steps is good for the pin, counted by another referee who was paying enough attention to see that a referee was needed but not enough to see the steps shot that set up the cover.

Rating: C-. This was a little too weapons based for me and, again, another instance of Big Show not really doing anything worthy of being US Champion other than being tall. I mean, I know that’s about all there is to him a lot of the time but that’s WWE for you. Cena is still shaking off the heel mannerisms and that might take some time but the fans want to cheer for him, which WWE is at least acknowledging.

Overall Rating: C+. There was a story going on throughout the show and that’s always better than throwing a bunch of stuff out there and hoping for the best. We’re heading for Cena vs. Vince/whomever he picks to fight for him and Lesnar vs. Benoit (and eventually Holly) so we have to get through the good before we get to the bad. This show was mainly wrestling focused so at least they’re moving in the right direction in certain ways.

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Smackdown
Date: March 27, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show for Wrestlemania and also my dad’s fiftieth birthday. Everything is pretty much set so there’s a good chance this is going to be little more than a slow paced final push towards the show. Hopefully it’s better than Raw, which really shouldn’t be all that difficult of a task. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Kendrick now has theme music, but it’s not as catch as Matt’s, whose Mattitude will make Wrestlemania a success and is very humble. Shannon starts with Brian and gets two off an early snap suplex. A hurricanrana puts Shannon down though and it’s off to Rey to speed things up. Some raised boots in the corner slow Rey down but Rey dropkicks Matt for two.

It’s back to Kendrick but he’s quickly pulled into the wrong corner to start the double teaming. Shannon’s belly to back gets two and Matt gets the same off a wicked Splash Mountain Bomb out of the corner. Brian slips over for the hot tag and it’s off to Rey for the bulldog and springboard seated legdrop for two on Matt. A tornado DDT gives Kendrick the same and he drops Shannon with Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. Heck of an opener here with all four getting to show off a bit. I’m glad they didn’t have the fall between Mysterio and Hardy for a change and it’s not like pinning Kendrick is a big stretch. If nothing else it’s nice to see a match with some energy in the week before Wrestlemania as they were certainly absent from Raw.

Post match Rey hurricanranas Moore but walks into a Twist of Fate.

Hulk Hogan arrives with his son and Jimmy Hart.

Roddy Piper is interested in Hogan vs. McMahon.

Video of last week’s contract signing.

Here’s Hogan for hopefully (and not likely) the last big push towards the match. Hogan talks about having a business relationship with Vince for over twenty years but he never really knew the man. He’s seen Vince do some horrible, evil and often illegal things but he never knew how twisted Vince really was. If Vince is a genius, he’s an evil genius (no brother so you know he’s serious). He recaps the No Way Out ordeal and it made him so mad that he agreed to make Sunday’s match a street fight.

This won’t be his last time on Smackdown because Sunday is going to be a fight twenty years in the making. You’ll see a Hogan you haven’t seen in twenty years because you’ll have to see it. Hogan promises to leave Vince in a pool of his own blood to wrap it up. It’s a good promo, but we’re still talking about two guys who aren’t wrestlers at this point fighting over which of them is responsible for them both being multi-millionaires. That’s at worst the second biggest match on the show and it’s pretty hard to get behind that idea.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas

They trade leg trips to start and get two each as the fans are very behind Eddie early on. Eddie shoulders him down but seems to bang up his own shoulder. Charlie grabs a hammerlock and drops him arm first onto the rope to take over. A clothesline gets two and Charlie cranks on the arm even more. Eddie suplexes his way out of an armbar but lands on the shoulder again. A hammerlock northern lights suplex gets two but another suplex is countered into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. The arm stuff was a good idea here but the time hurt them a bit. Eddie and Chavo are starting to get over as faces due to pure in-ring ability and charisma, plus the whole not fighting the FBI anymore. Haas and Benjamin continue to lose, which almost guarantees that they retain on Sunday.

John Cena promises to teach Brock Lesnar a lesson like he’s Mr. Miyagi.

Video on the FBI, which is actually really well produced. Like, more so than their usual great production.

Lesnar isn’t worried about Cena.

Nathan Jones has beaten up Chuck Palumbo off camera instead of having a match. So five minutes ago we get a good video on the team and now one of them is left laying off camera. Well done WWE.

Vince training montage with Shane as his coach. Can he still catch a chicken though? This is missing from the Network version for no apparent reason.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are in the back when they see Torrie Wilson’s Playboy cover. Jamie can’t bring himself to say that Nidia is prettier.

Wrestlemania Moment: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

Video on Torrie’s Playboy press conference with Stephanie introducing her for whatever reason. Torrie has the best body she’s ever seen, which is the endorsement that Playboy has been looking for.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Nidia jumps her from behind and grabs a chair as this is already more physical than I was expecting. A baseball slide sends the chair into Nidia’s face for two and Tazz starts singing. The fans want puppies but settle for Torrie hitting a DDT for the pin.

Big Show and A-Train run into Nathan Jones and make fun of his prison sentence.

Sean O’Haire tells us to eat whatever you want.

Big Show/A-Train vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Cole thinks Heyman had something to do with this for the sake of softening up Rhyno and Benoit for Sunday. For once, that’s almost insightful. A-Train muscles Rhyno into the corner for a rare visual but gets stomped back for a nice reaction. Benoit comes in for some hard chops but one heck of a shoulder drops him hard.

It’s off to Show and Benoit gets tossed hard into the corner, only to come out with some chops. Show clotheslines him down and the beating begins. There’s the required big toss across the ring, which still looks cool every single time. A big headbutt sends Benoit into the corner and it’s off to A-Train for some stomping.

Something like a Gory Stretch has Benoit screaming but a Vader Bomb hits boots. Benoit finally gets in a German suplex and makes the hot tag to Rhyno, who has no issues running through the monsters. Everything breaks down but here’s Jones to go after Show for the lame but logical DQ.

Rating: C. This was actually going somewhere until the ending, which was the only option they had here. Rhyno continues to impress and I’m starting to appreciate his rather simple but effective style. Everyone was game here and it made for a better match than I was expecting, which isn’t that hard for a Big Show/A-Train match.

Undertaker comes in and helps clear the ring.

Kurt Angle is looking for Brock. Post break he’s in Lesnar’s locker room and says they’re a lot alike. The difference is that Brock is a 25 year old rookie and he’s not ready. This match is going to change wrestling forever because they’re the best in the business. If Angle gets destroyed on Sunday, he’s done enough already. He’s bringing everything on Sunday and is willing to end Lesnar’s career to win.

Lesnar doesn’t think this is as brave as Angle hopes it is because Kurt knows he’s safe until Wrestlemania. Brock is willing to lay it all on the line on Sunday. At Wrestlemania, here comes the pain, because Lesnar will do anything to win the title. Good stuff here, and I liked it not being in the ring for a change.

Wrestlemania card, with the Raw Tag Team Title match being moved to Sunday Night Heat.

Another Vince training video.

Gene Okerlund is ready for Hogan vs. McMahon and says they were both responsible for the boom.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Some amateur stuff goes nowhere so Chavo speeds it up with a headscissors and a dropkick for two. Shelton goes after the leg though and Chavo is in quick trouble. Benjamin grabs a leg lock but Chavo is next to the rope for a break. Shelton puts on a different hold (always appreciated) but Chavo reverses into a small package for two. It’s off to the third hold until a cradle gives Guerrero two more. An enziguri finally gets Chavo a breather and both guys are down. Eddie cuts off Charlie’s interference attempt, leaving Chavo to grab la majistral for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah Team Angle is winning and they’re not even trying to hide it at this point. Chavo looked good here, which isn’t the biggest surprise despite his abilities often being overlooked. This was basically the same formula from earlier but with a different limb, which makes it no surprise that it worked.

Post match Team Angle attacks, only to have Rhyno and Benoit make the save and clean house.

Rikishi vs. John Cena

Cena debuts Basic Thuganomics as his theme music. He jumps Rikishi during his entrance and hammers away until a single right hand puts him on the floor. Rikishi gets whipped into the steps though and Cena pulls off the barricade padding to ram him back first. Back in and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things as things slow way down. Rikishi fights up and hits the Samoan drop. A superkick sets up the corner splash and Stinkface but the Rump Shaker hits knees. The ref bump allows Cena to hit the chain shot for two, followed by I believe the debuting FU (much closer to a Death Valley Driver here) for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of fascinating to see so much of what defined Cena debuting in one match as he had the music, the finisher and most of the signature look all at once. It made him look like a star instead of the goof that he was for months leading up to this. They almost have to do Lesnar vs. Cena now and that’s not the worst idea in the world.

Cena calls out Lesnar and after a break (with Arnold Schwarzenegger hyping Vince vs. Hogan) gets his wish, only to have Angle jump Lesnar from behind with a 2×4. Lesnar is down and in pain to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a back and forth show with good action (FAR better than Raw) but at the same time there was so much Vince vs. Hogan stuff that it took away the limited interest I had in the match in the first place. I’m still not wild on Wrestlemania but this show did help a lot as they focused on a lot of stuff. Unfortunately one match got so much of the hype and it’s really not one of the best things on the card. It’s all going to be about the presentation and in-ring results on Sunday but they’ve got their work cut out.

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Smackdown
Date: November 21, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the Big Show era now as he defeated Brock Lesnar to win the Smackdown World Title at Survivor Series. Hopefully this one doesn’t last too long as I’m not sure I can handle sitting through it. Unless Lesnar gets a rematch, it would make sense to have one of those tag guys get the next shot as they’ve been the hottest thing in the company for months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s WWE career leading into his feud with Big Show. Paul Heyman is prominently featured, setting up his heel turn at the pay per view.

Lesnar is waiting for Big Show. What is with wrestlers always arriving late? It seems to happen every week.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Mysterio starts fast with the dropkicks and a headscissors for good measure. A trip to the floor seems to clear Jamie’s head as he sends Rey into the buckle and dropkicks him in the back of the mask. Rey keeps up the trend with a dropkick and a flapjack for two. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Rey has to go after an interfering Nidia.

Back in and Jamie throws Rey into the air, only to have Mysterio springboard right into the hurricanrana for the pin. I remember taping this show and thinking that was so cool I actually showed it to a friend. Jamie standing there waiting on Mysterio to bounce back and looking up so he can take the hurricanrana doesn’t help but it’s still cool enough.

Lesnar is still angrily waiting and goes into the locker room. For some reason Matt Hardy thinks it’s a good idea to give him some criticism. Maybe if Brock had a few more Mattributes, he wouldn’t have suffered such an unfortunate twist of fate. Matt is then thrown through a wall, leaving a hole so big that Crash Holly can be seen on the other side.

Post break, Stephanie comes to check on Matt. Eddie Guerrero tells her that Brock did it, which surprises Stephanie. So wait: not only is she not watching the show but she sees a grown man thrown through a wall and doesn’t ask WHAT HAPPENED HERE? Basically everyone is scared of Lesnar so Stephanie will take care of him. Eddie asks if Brock will listen to a woman, setting Stephanie up for exactly the response you would expect from her.

Noble doesn’t know what to do but decides to call his crazy cousin Nunzio. Nidia is very worried about this choice.

Stephanie says Lesnar can have a rematch when he’s healed up but he’s suspended if he attacks anyone else. Somehow this takes a minute and a half because of that weird way Stephanie speaks.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri

Maybe the winner gets Torrie. Kidman is defending and offers an early handshake, earning himself a hard kick to the head. More kicks get more two counts before Tajiri mixes it up with the Tarantula. Kidman seems to hurt his head on a hurricanrana so Tajiri makes it worse with another kick to the head. The announcers find ways to praise Stephanie as Kidman gets in a spinebuster, followed by the shooting star to retain.

Rating: C. My head is hurting from those kicks as Tajiri was blasting Kidman every time. That’s why I like Tajiri so much: he’s not going to shift from that one idea very often but he does that thing very well. He doesn’t try to do anything out of his wheelhouse and it still works. It’s like Rhyno, which is why they’ve both had such long careers.

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Eddie is ejected before the bell, just in case Chavo thought he had any chance. Benoit starts fast by sending Chavo chest first into the corner but can only hit one German suplex. A gutbuster drops Benoit and his shoulder goes into the post as Chavo takes his pick of the body parts.

Not that it matters as Benoit SNAPS him down into a Crossface attempt but Chavo makes the ropes. Back in and Benoit rolls three straight German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive for two. Benoit is so annoyed that he allows Chavo to fire some shoulders into the ribs. Chavo tries a springboard clothesline but dives straight into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C+. This made perfect sense as Chavo tried everything he could but just wasn’t in Benoit’s league. Seeing Benoit grab the suplexes and the Crossface from pretty much wherever he wanted made him look awesome with the hold looking better than it has in a long time. Chavo tried here but was in over his head, which made for a good story.

Stephanie tells Lesnar to stay in the back while Heyman and Show go to the ring. If Lesnar goes to the ring, she’ll suspend him.

Here’s Heyman, coming out to Lesnar’s music and wearing the title, complete with the bounce on the stage. Cole: “I think Heyman is mocking Lesnar.” Heyman talks about having the it factor that separates you from the rest of the locker room, which applies to himself of course. He prepared Lesnar for everything he was going to do and is responsible for all of his successes.

Then the monster stopped listening to Dr. Frankenstein because it takes more than physical attributes to be on top of the mountain. He orchestrated the greatest inside job in sports entertainment history (How can anyone hear that wording and think it sounds good?) and look at the success he’s created.

Here’s Big Show, with Heyman kneeling down to hand him the title. Show thanks Lesnar for the opportunity and heaps praise on Heyman. Edge has a shot later tonight but there’s no way he’s losing the title just yet. Oh and one more thing: Lesnar is officially fired and there’s a no rematch clause in the contract. As they go to leave, here’s Lesnar with a chair to lay Show out. The worst part is Lesnar running right at him and Show turning around to run. So he’s big, stupid, and a coward. Sounds like your typical heel champion.

During the break, Stephanie yells at Lesnar some more because that’s what she gets to do.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

During the entrances, Cole announces next week as “an all new Smackdown with special guest star Scott Steiner.” Just in case you thought it was a rerun with Milton Berle. Chavo is ejected as well so we can have consistent refereeing for once. An early headlock sends Eddie outside as thinks slow down.

Back in and Angle busts out a monkey flip of all things before a suplex puts Eddie outside again. Angle follows this time and gets sent back first into the steps as Eddie cheats to take over. Eddie does the old “grab two chairs so the stupid referee only sees one”, allowing him to smack Angle in the back with the other. A northern lights suplex gets two as the dumb fans chant USA. Thankfully Cole points out that Eddie is from Texas as we hit the camel clutch.

Angle gets a DDT for a breather and here’s Chavo to watch from the stage. We hit the rolling German suplexes until a low blow breaks Angle’s momentum. As I wonder how the referee didn’t see that, Chavo comes down and gets in a few stomps. Cue Benoit to just stare at Chavo, even as he goes down to stomp on Angle some more. They trade submission attempts until Angle throws him with a release German suplex. Chavo gets forearmed off the apron, leaving Angle to run the corner for a super Angle Slam and the pin.

Rating: B. Like these two aren’t going to have a really good match. The Benoit stuff adds a new layer to the story and you can feel the big Angle vs. Benoit feud building very nicely. Eddie and Chavo getting beaten up like this is fine as all they have to do is hold up the belts again and everything will be back to normal. Good match here, filling the quota for the week.

Angle gives Chavo the ankle lock post match as the champs are easily dispatched. Benoit offers Kurt some applause.

We look at Scott Steiner beating up Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy. Nowinski is one thing but Hardy’s role in that segment is just dumb.

Edge is ready for Big Show but Funaki thinks Show is like Godzilla. That makes Edge King Kong but he’s willing to fight for the title.

Another Raw moment: This is Your Life Rock. That’s still amazing.

John Cena vs. Rikishi

Actually hang on a second as Dawn Marie and Al Wilson come out to invite us to their wedding. The match is joined in progress with Cena hitting a belly to back suplex, followed by sitting on Rikishi’s chest. That earns him a toss to the floor and a Samoan Drop, followed by a belly to belly for the pin.

Post match Rikishi loads up the Rump Shaker but Bull Buchanan comes in to save Cena. I might be thinking about this too hard but it might have been better to have Cena WIN THE MATCH and then have Buchanan show up.

Show says he can’t wrestle tonight because of Lesnar’s attack. Heyman isn’t about to go anywhere with Lesnar around.

We recap Lesnar and Show’s night.

Heyman is in Stephanie’s office but can’t get Show out of the main event. If Lesnar gets involved, she’ll suspend him. Heyman: “Like you did before?” Lawsuits against Stephanie and company are threatened so she throws him out. In case you haven’t figured it out, this was the 14^th or so segment tonight to show you that Stephanie RUNS SMACKDOWN. Let’s say it together shall we? Stephanie runs Smackdown. Now don’t you forget it or more lectures will ensue.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and is thrown into the corner almost immediately. Show launches him with ease and stands on Edge’s head (not to be confused with the Edgeheads) as this is already in slow motion. An Edgecution attempt is countered as easily as you would expect it to be and Show posts edge to keep the pace. We hit the bearhug as Heyman tells Edge he’d be good representation.

A turnbuckle pad was removed somewhere in there and Edge sends him face first into the buckle, followed by a low blow for good measure. Edge gets two off a tornado DDT and three spears finally drop Show. Heyman breaks up the pin though, allowing Show to grab the chokeslam. We’re not done yet though as Heyman wants Show to treat Edge like he’s Lesnar. That means a second chokeslam but here’s Lesnar for an F5 before a third can connect. I guess the match was thrown out.

Rating: D+. Edge’s comeback was good but when you watch him tear the house down with everyone else, it’s really hard to sit through Big Show’s eight mile an hour offense. He’s the current monster champion and hopefully that means his days with the title are numbered. This really wasn’t interesting and I have no interest in watching him doing his “hey, I’m big” promos and bad matches while I know the roster is capable of so much more.

Lesnar chases Heyman through the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing terrible here and they kept the bad stuff short but there’s nothing that really offers a spark to make me want to keep watching. The tag stuff seems to be coming to an end and that leaves Rikishi, Big Show, Al/Dawn and whatever Los Guerreros are doing. Now the latter of that list is fine but the rest….egads the rest. The show was still fun but this didn’t really leave me optimistic.

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Smackdown
Date: November 14, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for more Big Show. One of the big stories coming out of this week came on Super Tuesday when Stephanie McMahon announced that the Smackdown Tag Team Titles will be decided in a triple threat match, which should be an amazing spectacle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar with Show dominating for weeks and Paul Heyman being at his wits’ end.

Heyman says Lesnar has a broken rib and is off the show by doctors’ orders. Big Show pops up and says he’ll call Lesnar out anyway. It’s nice to see someone knowing the cliches and ignoring them.

Opening sequence.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Edge

Both guys are on their own and Sunday’s triple threat is officially an elimination match. Edge armdrags him into an armbar before elbowing Chavo in the face. Chavo sidesteps a charge to put Edge on the apron but gets flapjacked for his efforts. A kick to the ropes hits Edge low though and Chavo takes over for real this time. We hit an armbar on the Canadian until Chavo goes up top, only to get dropkicked out of the air. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Edge spears the buckle, allowing Chavo to get in a spear of his own for two. Not that it matters as the tornado DDT is countered into the Edgecution for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m not surprised that this was good as Chavo really was a solid hand in the ring. He gets a bad reputation for his horribly dull stuff later in his career but when you just let him work a good match, he’s a rather entertaining watch. Nice match here and a really strong opener.

Rey Mysterio is talking about the match when he runs over to see the arriving Brock, sounding like a ten year old fan. Brock basically tells him to buzz off.

Dawn Marie comes up to see Al Wilson and is ready to invite Torrie to the wedding. Al isn’t sure but she talks him into it. As enjoyable of a visual as it is, I do like the fact that we’re supposed to believe Dawn (and Torrie for that matter) walk around on the streets in the outfits they were on the show. Dawn was just casually strolling around in a top that showed off half her chest and went all the way down to her waist. Totally normal travel gear right?

Heyman wants to know why Lesnar is here and Brock says it’s because that’s what the title is all about. Paul goes on a rant about the injuries Lesnar has suffered and how it’s going to go badly if Lesnar stops doing what the team should do. If Lesnar doesn’t leave now, there’s nothing Heyman can do to protect Brock from Big Show. Paul has an idea though. I’ll give them credit for this: they’re making Big Show sound like a threat. You know, assuming you forget that he’s Big Show.

Matt Hardy/John Cena vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

What a completely different team that first one would be today. Matt was the Fear Factor Champion and loves guacamole. Cole describes Cena as being “lost in the 80s”. Like that’s a bad thing. Tajiri and Matt start things off with a quick hurricanrana sending the Fear Factor Champion down.

It’s off to Rikishi to take care of both Matt and Cena until a Side Effect gives Cena two. Matt hammers away in the corner as the fans want Jeff. Rikishi drives Cena over to the corner for the hot tag to Tajiri and things speed up. Tajiri gets a running start and grabs a running faceplant which sends both guys into the mat (picture fighting over a vertical suplex but both guys jump up and swing around, landing face first). Matt’s hand is on Tajiri’s chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what they were going for with that ending. First of all, a faceplant for the ending? I’m glad Matt and Cena got the win but it felt like a fluke (with the announcers talking about how Matt’s hand just happened to land on Tajiri’s chest) and I really don’t get this one. Oh and make sure Tajiri loses and not Rikishi because he’s the star power.

Hardy makes Cena put him on his shoulders to celebrate.

Angle and Benoit yell over the title loss last week. Benoit brings up winning their last two singles matches. Angle: “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN!” Benoit: “I have more hair than you!” This goes back and forth until Angle mentioned that he’s an Olympic gold medalist.

Scott Steiner video. Can he debut already so I can endlessly mock him?

Heyman asks Big Show to not call Lesnar out tonight but doesn’t get an answer. I’d like an answer as to why Show has his own locker room and there are at least ten large suitcases visible. Does he carry his snacks in there?

Los Guerreros run into Edge and Rey Mysterio. Eddie wants a match with Rey later and promises to win the titles on Sunday. Spanish is spoken and Eddie hides behind Chavo, only to have Edge speak some Spanish and tell them to shut up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Partners are banned from ringside. Eddie takes him down into a headlock to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Rey though and Eddie takes over for real. The arm work continues until Rey monkey flips him into the ropes. It’s already 619 time but Eddie pulls the referee in the way, knocking him nearly unconscious.

Chavo runs out for a Gory Bomb on Rey, allowing Eddie to add a powerbomb. Edge comes out to spear Eddie, drawing out the rest of the referees to drag them off. We take a break and come back with Rey hitting the Bronco Buster but getting tossed off the ropes. Eddie follows him out with a dive but takes too much time going up again, allowing Rey to grab a superplex.

A hard knee to Mysterio’s ribs sets up another armbar until Eddie lets him up for no logical reason. Rey springboards into an armdrag to send Eddie outside, followed by a slingshot hilo. Back in and Rey scores with the 619 but the West Coast Pop is reversed into the Lasso From El Paso (with something edited out). Eddie makes sure to grab the ropes, forcing Rey to tap.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t really consider that to be the biggest surprise. These two are capable of having good matches in their sleep and this was no exception, though Eddie working on the arm for a good chunk of the match didn’t make a lot of sense. Also, it was nice to have them do all the run-ins early on and then have a long stretch of the match follow them up. Good match here, as expected.

Torrie can’t talk to her dad but he follows her anyway. Eventually she says Dawn is just using him. Al just wanted to invite her to the wedding but she won’t go. She calls her dad an old fool.

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Jamie goes straight after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes. A keylock doesn’t get Noble very far either so Kidman gets in a dropkick for two. The tiger bomb gives Noble two but Kidman reverses the cover into a rollup for two more. Kidman flips over him out of the corner and gets in the BK Bomb for no cover. That looks to set up the shooting star press but Nidia offers a distraction. Jamie pops back up and tries a superplex, only to have Kidman tie the legs up for a small package and the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it set up Sunday’s match, thankfully without having Kidman hit his finisher. Instead he won off a quick pin, making it look like he can beat Noble without completely destroying him. As little as I don’t like having the champ lose, it’s about all they could do in the three and a half minutes they had out there.

Dawn consoles Al, who she loves. He puts his head on her shoulder and she gives a bit of an evil smile. This is the THIRD SEGMENT this story has gotten.

Heyman tells Lesnar about going to see Big Show. Lesnar isn’t happy and says he’s going to call Show out this time.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Angle laughs off the idea of either other team being a challenge to him. He’s a better athlete than Benoit, is better looking than Edge and has actually grown, unlike Mysterio. Cue Los Guerreros and the champs to watch from ringside. Angle starts fast by snapping off the suplexes but Benoit comes back by just hitting him in the face. A backbreaker gives Benoit two before Angle sends him outside, leading to a whip into the champs.

Back in and Kurt rolls the German suplexes for two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. That’s reversed into the ankle lock until Benoit rolls out, only to get caught in the Slam. Kurt grabs the Lasso From El Paso, drawing Eddie into the ring. It doesn’t last long as he’s launched out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Los Guerreros and the champs. Everyone comes in and that’s a no contest.

Rating: B-. The time killed it but much like Mysterio vs. Guerrero, these two are almost a guaranteed awesome match. They’re building the heck out of the triple threat tag, which is pretty easily bigger than Lesnar vs. Big Show, at least in the amount of hype it has. Let those six guys tear the house down and the extra build here helped.

Edge and Mysterio clean house and put Kurt in a double ankle lock. Eddie and Chavo make the save so it’s an ankle lock to Eddie and a Crossface to Edge. Benoit and Angle shake hands but Kurt hugs him instead, giving us a hilarious look from Benoit when it goes too long.

Lesnar yells at Heyman for telling him to stay out of the ring.

We run down Sunday’s card.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman with Brock calling out Big Show. Heyman tries to take the mic away and is told to shut up. Show finally comes out and Lesnar spears him into the steps, puncturing Show’s forearm with the blood flowing out like a fountain. Two big chair shots to the head bust open Show’s head and the chair is bent over his back. I remember watching this live and thinking it was the first time I thought Lesnar was awesome. If this was meant to be his full face turn, it worked quite well.

Overall Rating: B+. Survivor Series is certainly going to be interesting at this rate. The Tag Team Title match looks great on paper, Show vs. Lesnar could be good if Brock gets to be the Beast, the Elimination Chamber……well I think we all know where that’s going. This was the big hard sell show and it did make me want to watch the pay per view again, though it certainly seems to be walking a tightrope, which almost never works. Still though, three quite good matches and some other passable stuff sprinkled in (save for the Dawn/Torrie stuff which won’t end) makes this another high quality Smackdown.

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