Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the show where you can really see the next generation rising up. The main events other than the Rumble are Lesnar vs. Holly and HBK vs. HHH. Ok so maybe the next generation only comes up in the Rumble. Other than that we don’t have much going on here but this show is all about Benoit in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Shawn vs. HHH because that’s what people are watching the ROYAL RUMBLE for right? The theme of the video is that things can change in the blink of an eye.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

There’s an empty seat for Mick Foley in the front row.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

We recap the battle of the Guerreros. Eddie was clearly the bigger star which was fine while they were champions, but once they lost the belts to the Bashams, Chavo blamed Eddie and turned on his uncle for losing his title. The Guerreros almost made up but they lost the rematch, after which Chavo let Eddie get double teamed by the Bashams. This was actually a pretty solid story despite how basic it was. Sometimes less is more. Oh and Kurt Angle was playing peacemaker and Chavo Guerrero Senior is in his son’s corner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo bails to the floor before the bell and the fans are totally behind Eddie here. They fight over a lockup to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Chavo slaps Eddie in the face and now we’re ready to go. We hit the mat for a bit before Eddie starts snapping off chops in the corner. Chavo shoulders him down and we have a standoff. They chop it out again and Eddie goes to the eye like a true Guerrero.

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Ad for Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. That’s the most entertaining part of the show so far.

Benoit likes his odds even though he’s #1 in the Rumble. Evolution comes up and says Orton is going to win the Rumble. Flair says Benoit may be great, but this is about Evolution tonight.

We recap Hardcore Holly vs. Lesnar. Brock broke Holly’s neck (legit) and Holly gets a world title shot out of it a year later. This is the textbook definition of the Rumble title shot where no one buys the champion as being in any danger whatsoever.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

We recap HHH vs. HBK which is allegedly seven years in the making. I’m guessing THIS is supposed to be the FINAL blowoff to their feud instead of the classic in 2002.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is defending and this is a last man standing match. They chop it out to start and punch each other in the corner a lot. Shawn tries a backslide before realizing that makes no sense here, so it’s back to the chops. Michaels gets caught in a facebuster as things slow down a bit. A HARD whip into the corner has Shawn’s back in trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse.

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Back in and Shawn counters a Pedigree with a backdrop to the floor but he injures his back in the process. Shawn tries a springboard cross body to the floor but crashes through the table instead as only he can. Instead of letting the now busted open Shawn get counted out, HHH throws him back in for the count, which reaches seven. The champ pounds Shawn down a few times for a few counts, most of which don’t get that far.

A fast spinebuster (literally, as Shawn was flying at HHH and it almost looked like a belly to belly instead of a spinebuster) gets about six. That’s the problem with most last man standing matches: it’s a big move then standing around for the count. That makes it very hard to get any kind of flow going to the match. HHH cracks Shawn in the back with a chair but Shawn gets up again. A Pedigree onto the chair is countered into a slingshot into the post, busting HHH open as well.

Now Shawn cracks HHH in the head with a chair, allowing HHH to do his weird “my head hurts and I’m not sure where I am” face. There’s the forearm followed by the nipup from Shawn, followed by an atomic drop and the top rope elbow. That gets about seven so Shawn tunes up the band, only to walk into a low blow to put both guys down. Shawn hooks a sleeper which eventually gets an eight count before walking into a DDT to put both guys down.

That gets a double eight count before we head to the corner. HHH tries a belly to back superplex but Shawn counters into a cross body for another double eight count. The Pedigree hits but it’s only good for a nine. Shawn pops up out of nowhere with some more Sweet Chin Music, putting both guys down for ten which keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. The problem here is exactly what I said earlier: this was a lot of laying around. The last seven minutes or so had about five moves combined, as most of the match was “move, lay down, move, lay down, move, lay down.” The idea is supposed to be a ton of drama, but that didn’t happen here. Shawn would turn into a jerk in the next few weeks and insert himself in the Mania main event because of this ending.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

The Fink is ready to start the Rumble but here’s Bischoff to run his mouth. He says that a Raw guy is going to win the Rumble because he’s respected as a GM. He runs down ECW, which brings out Heyman for a brawl. Cue Austin on his ATV to say that these two are both in violation of the law (he was called Sheriff Austin at this point) and wants to know who started it. Heyman and Bischoff: “HE DID!” Both guys get Stunners and the fans love it.

Goldberg, #30 in the Rumble, doesn’t get to talk because Lesnar comes in to interrupt him. Lesnar is called a coward, which will come into play later.

JR has to admit Foley is a coward because he isn’t here yet.

Royal Rumble

Benoit is #1 and the Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton is #2. Two minute intervals here again. They pound away on each other to start with Benoit taking him to the mat to stomp away. Mark Henry is #3 when he was a fat power guy with no direction at all. Allow me to be more specific: he’s still with Teddy Long. Benoit gets double teamed for awhile until Tajiri is #4. These intervals don’t seem to be two minutes or anywhere close to it.

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Rhyno is #6 as we’re flying through this so far. He goes after the two starters as Tajiri fires off kicks on Henry. Tajiri gets a half Tarantula on Henry but Henry gets Gored, knocking Tajiri out in the process. Benoit clotheslines Henry out and we’re down to three again. Matt Hardy is #7 and Benoit throws him to the apron almost immediately. In FAR less than two minutes, here’s Scott Steiner at #8. Oh dear it’s Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble. This could be a disaster.

He starts firing off suplexes immediately but at least this time there are some t-bones to go with the belly to bellies. Benoit rolls some Germans on him as if to say THIS IS HOW YOU SUPLEX SOMEBODY. Things slow down a bit and here’s Matt Morgan at #9. He takes Benoit down with a Batista Bomb takes Benoit down and pounds away on Orton in the corner.

The Hurricane is #10 and comes in off the top with a cross body to Hardy. He goes after Morgan for no apparent reason and is thrown out in less than twenty seconds. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron again but can’t get him out. Booker T, complete with the stupid remix of his theme music with Booker singing, is #11. Booker immediately goes after Steiner in a revisiting of their WCW feud that no one was asking for.

Nothing of note happens until Kane is #12. This is after he buried Taker alive. For the first time. Steiner gets dumped by Booker during Kane’s entrance. Kane starts firing off chokeslams and other various power moves for which he is well known. The clock runs down at #13 and there go the lights. A gong goes off and Kane PANICS. Booker uses the distraction to dump Kane and here’s Spike Dudley at #13. He never makes it to the ring as Kane destroys him for setting off the gong.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

A-Train is #16 and goes right for Rikishi. Benoit avoids the yet to be named Carbon Footprint and dumps Morgan. I love that they’re keeping the ring from getting full. Orton dumps Rikishi and Booker as Shelton Benjamin is #17. Benoit dumps A-Train during his entrance and Orton dumps Shelton a few seconds later to get us back to two. Orton pounds on him a bit but they crack heads to put both guys down.

Lamont, the announcer for Ernest Miller (complete with the music that would go to Brodus Clay eight years later), runs out to introduce the Cat at #18. After some dancing (and singing by Tazz), Orton dumps him out. Miller would be released in like two weeks. Kurt Angle is #19 and he might be a bit harder to get out. He’s fighting for AMERICA here so the fans tell him he sucks.

Benoit and Angle destroy each other with chops and punches as only they can while Orton is content to chill in the corner. Rico, now in his Adrian Street phase, is #20. He fires off some kicks but lasts about as long as you would expect him to in a match with Orton, Angle and Benoit. The RKO takes care of Rico as Benoit rolls a ton of Germans on Angle. Test is #21…..and is nowhere in sight.

Orton RKO’s Angle and we cut to the back to see Test unconscious. Austin sees someone off camera and says they’re #21. The off camera man and presumable attacker: MICK FREAKING FOLEY! Orton, the guy who spat in Foley’s face and called him a coward, PANICS. The place goes nuts and Foley explodes on Orton, beating him half to death and hitting a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them out. This would lead to some AWESOME matches at Mania and Backlash which put Orton up to the world title in August.

Foley keeps beating on Orton as Christian is #22. Mick picks up the steps and BLASTS a security guy who tries to stop him. Orton comes back with two chair shots and fires back at Mick. They brawl up the ramp and Foley pulls out Socko, only to put it on Nunzio who comes in at #23. We haven’t seen anything of the match for awhile but I can live with that for a hot brawl like this. Orton kicks Foley low and runs as we go back to the ring.

Angle is getting double teamed as Nunzio is down on the floor. Big Show is #24 and apparently that’s Tazz’s pick. Thankfully he’s in the singlet and shorts again instead of the one piece swimsuit. Angle immediately goes after him but Show throws everyone around. Jericho is #25 as he’s in a weird phase of his career. He wasn’t a main event guy anymore but he had feuded with everyone in the midcard already so he just kind of hung around and filled in spots on the card.

All four guys go after Big Show (who has a head like a typewriter according to Tazz) but they can’t get him out. Charlie Haas is #26 but gets double teamed by Jericho and Christian. Currently we have Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Christian, Haas, Big Show and Nunzio who is on the floor. Jericho backdrops Christian out for the second year in a row as Billy Gunn is #27. Apparently this is a return for him. It’s Fameassers all around and then things slow down again.

John Cena is #28 and that pop is growing at an alarming rate. Show stares him down so Cena throws Nunzio in to kill some time. Nunzio goes after Show for some reason but Cena takes over for him to make it fair. RVD is #29 to a big pop of his own. It’s spin kicks all around until things settle down a bit. There’s an FU to Angle and Goldberg is #30. The final group: Benoit, Angle, Big Show, Jericho, Nunzio, Haas, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. At least the ring didn’t fill up until the end so that’s not too bad.

Goldie spears a lot of people down to start before Nunzio jumps on his back like an idiot. Haas is put out and Nunzio takes a HUGE spear. Gunn is out as is Nunzio to get us down to seven. Goldberg loads up a Jackhammer on Show but Lesnar runs in with an F5 to break it up. Goldberg stares down Brock, allowing Angle to dump him out. All five remaining guys not named Big Show go after the one named Big Show but it still doesn’t work.

Everyone hits their finishers on Show instead with Cena (Show’s feud at the time) hitting the Shuffle instead of the FU, which I’m assuming they were saving for Mania. They try to dead lift Show and realize they screwed up by knocking a giant unconscious. Show shoves them all off and dumps Cena followed by Van Dam a few seconds later.

So it’s Big Show, Benoit, Angle and Jericho as the final four. Jericho gets sent to the apron twice and manages to hang on before bulldogging Show down. The Walls go on Show and he taps but Angle breaks the hold up for no apparent reason. Show chokeslams Benoit down but chokeslams Jericho even further, sending him to the floor to get us to three. A side slam puts Angle down and there’s another chokeslam to Benoit.

Show breaks up a German attempt from Angle but can’t block an Angle Slam. There’s a Slam to Benoit (it was a belly to back suplex but whatever) and the ankle lock to Show. Show taps again, but again it doesn’t mean anything. The big guy rolls through the hold and eliminates Angle in the process, getting us down to two.

Benoit dropkicks Show but knocks him back into the ring by mistake. A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface and Show taps again, but you know the drill by now. Show shrugs it off and picks Benoit up in a chokeslam. Benoit graps a front chancery though and pulls Show to the apron….then has him teetering on the ropes…..AND BENOIT WINS! The crowd kept getting louder as Benoit pulled further and further. Awesome sequence there.

Rating: A. There were some slow spots but this was ALL about Benoit and I can’t complain about that at all. The ending sequence here with all three submission guys making Show tap was a cool idea and different than the ending to any other Rumble. They didn’t throw a stupid curve here and made Benoit look like a star here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Great Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is really REALLY good but the rest is horrible. Don’t watch the rest of the show, but if you’re a Benoit fan and can still sit through a long match of his, this is absolutely required viewing. Things would change a bit more the next year as two REALLY big names would be the stars of the Rumble, but that’s not for another year. For now, this was all about Benoit and he nailed it.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

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Tag Team Tournament
Date: January 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re back with another of these shindigs though I have less faith in this one than in last month’s World Cup of Wrestling. I really don’t think I can make this any clearer than the title has already done. It’s just a tag team tournament to decide the BEST TEAM EVER in TNA, even though America’s Most Wanted isn’t here, making the whole thing inaccurate from the get go. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the basic idea and lists off the teams in the tournament. Here are the brackets:

Hot Shots/Aces and 8’s

Magnus/Samoa Joe

British Invasion

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt/Generation Me

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Bad Influence

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me and Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s are play in matches. Much like the X-Travaganza show missing AJ Styles, no James Storm on this show with any of his three tag title partners (to be fair he and Gunner hadn’t teamed up when this was taped) makes this feel incomplete.

We’ll be having highlight packages of all of the teams throughout the night. Up first are Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt, who from what I can find have been a two man team three times ever: Tonight, the X-Travaganza One Night Only show and an Impact in 2008. There’s no narration or anything and it’s just highlights.

Generation Me’s video is set to the old WWF Hardy Boys theme song. I wasn’t a huge Hardys fan, but this team couldn’t hold the Hardys’ drugs/extra helping of fried lard, let alone lace their boots.

Tag Team Tournament Play-In: Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me

I can never remember which is Jeremy and which is Max. Then again I could never remember which Hardy was which at first so maybe they’re more comparable than I thought. Dutt starts with a headlock on let’s say Jeremy and gets a Let’s Go Senshi chant. Jeremy comes back with a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner and a double seated dropkick puts Dutt down again. Sonjay tags in Petey to speed things up with a dropkick to Max’s back. Everything breaks down and the non-brothers are both knocked to the floor. A headscissors from Jeremy sends Sonjay into a Max dropkick for two in a nice double team.

It’s Dutt in trouble now as the crowd is trying to get into this. The Bucks work on the arm for a bit before Max hooks a chinlock. Sonjay fights up and tags in Petey to clean house again with a slingshot Codebreaker and a running knee to take the Bucks down. A spin into a Russian legsweep gets two on Max but Jeremy breaks up the Canadian Destroyer attempt. Sonjay comes back in with a springboard double dropkick for two as the cameraman is taken down.

Jeremy gets caught in the corner for some fast tagging by Williams and Dutt. Petey gets caught in a bulldog out of the corner and it’s hot tag to Max. Dutt gets taken down by a CM Punk running knee/bulldog out of the corner as everything breaks down. Jeremy dives through the ropes to take Petey down on the floor as Sonjay gets two off the standing Sliced Bread.

Petey comes back in for another Russian legsweep on Max but Jeremy superkicks him down. More Bang For Your Buck (fireman’s carry slam by Jeremy into a 450 by Max into a moonsault from Jeremy) gets two on Sonjay as Petey makes the save and hits the Canadian Destroyer on Max, only to have Jeremy kick Williams in the face for the pin.

Rating: C. Take four guys, let them do high spots on each other for eight minutes, listen to the crowd cheer for them. The match was nothing great but there were some nice high spots to wake the crowd up. Petey was the best guy out there as Sonjay looked slow and the Bucks were their usual sloppy selves.

Highlight package on the Hot Shots, an old team of Chase Stevens and Cassidy Riley, who never went anywhere and are here so TNA can talk about the past. They’re another team that could have been left out of this to keep it at eight teams but we need to fill time since having matches go longer is just crazy.

Video on Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco turning on Angle to join Aces and 8’s.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Garrett and Brisco in case that wasn’t clear. The fans are behind the Hot Shots as Tazz turns into the Aces and 8’s cheerleader that annoyed the Impact audience for months. Stevens cranks on Wes’ arm to start before it’s off to Cassidy as Tenay tries to convince us to care about Wes because of his family tree. Off to Garrett who gets armdragged down as the announcers completely ignore the match to talk about Eric Bischoff.

Stevens gets two off a front suplex and a legdrop to Garrett before bringing Cassidy back in. Cassidy gets caught by the bikers and choked against the ropes as the announcers try to find something to talk about here. Garrett gets two off a suplex and it’s back to Brisco for a chinlock. Taz gets the Aces and 8’s confused by calling Bischoff Brisco by mistake.

Wes comes back in for a chinlock as Tenay rips on Taz for his mistake. Cassidy finally fights up with a clothesline to put both guys down as we’re now discussing a referee’s spelling abilities. Chase gets the hot tag and everything breaks down until Stevens is left alone. Brisco distracts him from the apron, allowing Bischoff to hit Stevens low for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another match that didn’t need to exist. The Hot Shots could have been any two guys thrown together and it wouldn’t have mattered at all. On top of that, the commentary was even worse than usual. Even they were making it clear that there was no need for this match to happen and that there was nothing to it. That’s a really bad sign and doesn’t make me want to watch the rest of the show.

We now have our first rounds set.

Aces and 8’s

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

British Invasion

Generation Me

Aces and 8’s

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez

Bad Influence

Highlights on the British Invasion, comprised of Douglas Williams and Rob Terry tonight.

The Brits say they’ll win.

Video on Austin Aries and Bobby Roode, who were a team for how long? Three months? To be fair though they were champions when this was taped.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. British Invasion

Roode poses to start in an effort to make fun of Terry. Aries and Williams get us going and lock up about 90 seconds after the bell. Austin bails to the corner to keep the stalling intact before Williams shoves Aries into the corner. We’re about three minutes into the match when Aries takes him to the mat for the first time. Terry comes in to chase Aries and Roode to the floor where they mock his physique again.

Back in and it’s off to Roode as we’re still killing time. Roode does his posing again but backs away from a test of strength. Terry finally gets bored and beals Bobby across the ring before bringing Williams back in. The Brits start working on Bobby’s arm before Douglas drops a knee for two. Aries’ knee drop to break up the cover hits Roode by mistake but he manages to shove Williams off the top to take over. Taz names the Brits the Yiddish Invasion for no apparent reason.

Aries takes over with an armbar on Williams as the fans try to clap him back to his feet. Back to Bobby who wraps the arm around the post before choking on the ropes. We actually get some insight from Taz as he calls Roode and Aries a modern day Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson. I wouldn’t go that far but it’s the closest thing to intelligence that we’ll get from him all night.

Williams finally blocks a charging Roode in the corner and takes him down with a middle rope European uppercut. Hot tag brings in Terry who shrugs off Aries’ forearms to the chest. Rob catches Aries in midair and kicks Roode down before dropping Austin on Roode for two. Terry tags Williams back in but gets taken down by a missile dropkick from Aries. Roode gets in a cheap shot to Williams and Crossfaces him for the win.

Rating: C. Match of the night so far and that’s not saying much at all. It’s still not a great match or even a very good one but it followed a formula and had clear cut heels and faces, putting it ahead of the first two matches. Aries and Roode worked well together, which is likely why they were split up so fast.

Video on Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez. Blast it I was hoping to avoid them on this show. Well any show actually.

We go straight from a boring team to one of the most entertaining I can remember in a long time: Bad Influence. Again, it shows the power of letting funny people be funny instead of writing lines to make unfunny people try to sound funny.

Bad Influence says Dixie’s trickle down of disrespect continues by making them be in a tournament instead of just naming them the best tag team ever. Daniels says this show should be called Foregone Conclusion because no one is better than they are. Tonight Chavo and Shawn are first but certainly not last.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Daniels get things going by circling each other until Daniels hugs Kaz. There’s no contact a minute into the match. Now Chavo hugs the referee for no apparent reason before locking up with Daniels. Christopher demands and receives a clean break out of the corner. Hernandez bails to the floor instead of hugging Chavo so Daniels fires some shoulders into the corner. Chavo comes back with a series of backdrops but gets caught by the arm and dragged into the Bad Influence corner.

Kaz poses on the apron and thrusts the pelvis a bit before cranking on Chavo’s arm behind the referee’s back. Chavo can’t get over to Hernandez but reverses the armbar by Daniels and drags Daniels over to the Bad Influence corner where a not paying attention Kaz cranks on his partner’s arm by mistake. He sees Chavo and Hernandez on the floor and the wheels in his head slowly start to turn. This armbar is already more entertaining than most of the other matches tonight.

Chavo sneaks back in and uppercuts Daniels to take over before bringing in Hernandez for a bearhug into an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Chavo who allows a tag off to Kaz, who gets splashed by Hernandez for two. Chavo comes in again with a slingshot hilo and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two each on Kaz but a Daniels distraction lets Kazarian take over. Daniels comes back in for a front facelock before Kaz gets two off a slingshot legdrop. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kaz lets go and hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. The announcers talk about the Guerrero Family as Chavo head fakes Kaz into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Hernandez comes in to clean house with the big shoulder blocks but Kaz saves Daniels from the Border Toss. A missile dropkick sends SuperMex into Chavo for a tag and it’s Three Amigos time for Daniels. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash attempt but Chavo kicks him down as Hernandez powerbombs Daniels. The second attempt at the Splash gets rid of the most interesting team in the tournament.

Rating: C+. Again, I rarely had a problem with Chavo and Hernandez between the ropes. They could have decent matches with the right opponents and Bad Influence would fit that description. As long as I don’t have to hear Chavo talk about his heritage I’m fine. Bad Influence deserves better, but that’s always the case.

Video on Samoa Joe and Magnus who were thrown together in a wild card tag team tournament and won the belts in a surprise. That’s about all for their story.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Aces and 8’s

Bischoff starts with Joe and is immediately caught in a wristlock and armbar. Garrett gets to the ropes twice in a row as we’re still firmly in first gear. The Aces finally get Joe into their corner for some double teaming, only to have Wes get punched away with ease. Off to Magnus for some right hands and a clothesline before Joe comes back in with a backsplash.

The bikers double team Joe down again by taking out his knee, allowing Garrett to use his wide array of knee drops. Back to Brisco for a leg lock before Garrett comes in for some right hands. Joe casually stands up and stares at Bischoff but a kick to the leg puts him down again. A t-bone suplex puts Bischoff down again and it’s hot tag to the Brit to clean house. Magnus gets two on Bischoff off a suplex before the enziguri into the snapmare into the top rope elbow are enough to end Brisco.

Rating: D. The result was what you would expect from two world champions with chemistry against two unproven goons. This was just a step above a squash but at least the horrible team is gone. I’m glad they kept this short at least because I can only take so much Bischoff and Brisco at once.

Generation Me says they’ll beat Team 3D.

Speaking of Team 3D, here’s their highlight video.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Team 3D vs. Generation Me

This is a match I didn’t think I’d ever see and I was glad about that. The former Dudleys go right after Generation Me to start and the beating is on fast. Dropkicks have little effect on the bikers and they easily slam the smaller guys down. We start with D-Von vs. Max as the domination continues. A powerslam gets two on Max as Tazz is loving this stuff. Off to Bully who shrugs off right hands and shoves Max into the 3D corner.

Ray snaps off headbutts to the chest and follows them with a hard chop as this has been one sided so far. Max finally gets over for a tag to Jeremy who walks into a great looking big boot to stop any momentum he had. We hit the neck crank for a bit before D-Von comes in to clothesline the freshly tagged Max inside out. There’s another chinlock as this squash goes on a bit longer. D-Von charges into a boot in the corner but clotheslines Max’s head into Tampa Bay. Ray: “MY BROTHER JUST CLOTHESLINED YOUR HEAD OFF!”.

Ray comes in with a backdrop and knocks Jeremy into the barricade. Tazz pines for ECW for a bit until D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A hot tag brings in Jeremy to clean house for a bit until a double superkick puts D-Von down. Ray breaks up a cover and punches Max’s head off. Team 3D collides in the middle of the ring and the Bucks (Generation Me’s indy name) hit stereo missile dropkicks. That’s their highlight though as Max walks into 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m an old Dudley Boys fan and I’ve never liked Generation Me so this was a fun match. It wasn’t interesting for the most part but I could watch Bully kick little guys’ heads off all day. There was no way you could have the Bucks put up a legitimate fight here so the squash was the right path to take.

Post match Ray threatens to slap So Cal Val around if she doesn’t bring him the mic like she should. “Now go do my dishes like a feeble woman.” Ray gets in an argument with an old lady at ringside and says some woman is so ugly that he wouldn’t even let D-Von sleep with her. Jeremy Borash is in the aisle but Ray stops him by threatening to sleep with him. The look of shock and horror on Borash’s face is beyond description. Ray lists off Team 3D’s accomplishments and promises to win. D-Von loads up the TESTIFY line but Ray wants to say it instead. “Nah it’s your line you say it.” These guys have pure chemistry.

Here are the updated brackets:

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

We recap how we got to the semi-finals to kill some time.

Joe and Magnus say never say never about their chances.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This has a lot of potential. The heels are skeptical about getting into the ring until it’s Magnus vs. Roode. The fans chant for Beer Money and think that the Cowboy is better. Bobby grabs a wristlock to start but Magnus counters into a hammerlock. A shoulder block puts Roode down and it’s off to Joe for an atomic drop and backsplash. Magnus and Joe take out Aries as well as this is one sided so far.

Aries finally comes back with an elbow to the back of Joe’s head as Tazz reminisces about doing commentary with Mike Adamle. Magnus gets choked against the ropes and forearmed in the chest before it’s off to Roode. The announcers FINALLY talk about the match instead of explaining the Bolo Punch. Aries goes after the Brit’s knee with a chop block and a cannonball before it’s off to Roode for some stomping.

A top rope knee to Magnus’ knee gets two for Aries before the heels do some classic cheating with Roode giving extra leverage. Roode misses a middle rope knee drop and it’s hot tag to Joe. The Samoan cleans house and the good guys hit their finishing sequence on Aries, only to have Roode pull the referee out. Aries loads up a foreign object to blast Joe in the head for the pin.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far but that’s not saying much at all. As is always the case with these shows, the match would have been way better with more time, but for some reason no matches on these shows can go longer than thirteen minutes. This was entertaining while it lasted but they had to rush to the finish instead of letting the match get there on its own.

Chavo and Hernandez say JB just found the best tag team in TNA history when he started talking to them. Team 3D will be Team 3-No Mas when they get done with them.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Team 3D vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Ray gets in an argument with a kid on his way to the ring. I miss old school heel work like that. Bully brings in a chair but Hebner takes it away from him. “IF I CAN’T USE MY CHAIR, HE CAN’T USE A CHIMICHANGA OR A BURRITO!” D-Von and Chavo circle each other to start until Chavo sends him to the floor for more stalling. It’s off to Bully who gets caught in a Guerrero headlock but Ray clotheslines his head off to take over.

D-Von comes back in but gets forearmed into the good guy corner for a tag off to Hernandez. A Stinger Splash in the corner gets two but D-Von jacks his jaw to take over. It’s back to Bully for some loud chops followed by D-Von with a front facelock. Hernandez easily drives him into the corner for the tag to Chavo as the match keeps meandering along.

Bully comes back in to send Hernandez into the corner and slap on a bearhug. SuperMex gets up top but Ray chops him down, setting up a D-Von superplex for two. Hernandez hits a quick shoulder for the not hot tag to Chavo for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Chavo has to roll through the Frog Splash, only to walk into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another match that never took off at all and felt like it rushed to the ending, though it wasn’t as bad as the previous match. At least we don’t have to listen to another promo from Chavo about the Guerrero Spirit or whatever else he wants to say that makes people think of Eddie.

We recap the semi-finals.

Aries and Roode drink coffee and water while talking about what a toll tournament take on their bodies. They may not have Team 3D’s experience, but they know each other as well as you can. Roode says they’re two of the best in the world today and that means they can beat any team.

Team 3D talks about beating two teams and having one win left. They run down the two teams they already beat and promise that Aries and Roode will take a 3D of their own.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Team 3D vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This gets the big match intros as more time is killed. For some reason the lights have been turned off and there are only spotlights on the ring. Ray takes the mic from JB to make sure the intro is perfect, despite having a bit of a disagreement over how much they weigh. He challenges Aries to do a better intro if he can, leading to a weight dispute between the other team as well. Aries of course mentions beating Roode for the title before saying they don’t need a team name because they’re just that great.

The match starts with a brawl on the floor as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Who thought heel vs. heel was a good idea here? Aries takes over on Bully while D-Von and Roode stagger around ringside. D-Von is sent into the barricade as Aries hits an ax handle from the apron to Bully. Ray comes back with a low chop to take Austin down while D-Von chokes Aries against the post.

The pairings switch off and Aries takes over on D-Von. No one has actually been in the ring yet. Ray chases Hebner with a chain before bringing Aries inside for What’s Up, only to have Roode make the save. Aries gets in a low blow to Ray as we finally have some starters. Roode comes in to stomp on Ray’s ankle before Aries comes in for a top rope knee drop. A Hennig neck snap puts Ray into the wrong corner but he chops Aries from his knees.

Aries puts on a front facelock as the fans still aren’t sure who to cheer for here. They pick Ray at the moment, even though he’s the top heel in the company. Ray makes the tag to D-Von but a Roode distraction means it doesn’t count. Roode comes back in for a chinlock but Ray belly to backs his way out. Aries stomps away in the corner as the announcers talk about Howard Stern and Jesse Ventura running for President.

Ray fights up and collides with Roode, setting up the ice cold tag to D-Von. He cleans house for a few seconds before Aries and Roode double team him down. Aries loads up the foreign object but hits Roode by mistake, setting up the 3D for the pin. Tenay of course acts like this is the least interesting thing ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but the booking made next to no sense. Ray spent his previous two matches being the biggest jerk he could possibly be but we’re supposed to cheer for his team in the finals? The logical move would have been to put Joe and Magnus over by DQ or countout to protect the champions and give us a basic heel vs. face final, but instead they went with this and the crowd didn’t know what to do. The lighting was weird too.

A four and a half minute recap closes the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t horrible but something even worse: boring. There’s just nothing to see here and the best match is decent at best. The lack of James Storm and the illogical booking of the main event didn’t help anything either. It felt like no one cared here and no one put in any effort, making this to be the least interesting of the entire series so far.

Results

Generation Me b. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams – Spinning kick to Williams’ head

Aces and 8’s b. Hot Shots – Low blow to Stevens

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. British Invasion – Crossface to Williams

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Daniels

Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Aces and 8’s – Top rope elbow to Brisco

Team 3D b. Generation Me – 3D to Max

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe/Magnus – Aries hit Joe with a foreign object

Team 3D b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 3D to Guerrero

Team 3D b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – 3D to Aries

 

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I changed my mind on this at the last minute.My first pick was Eva Marie, who serves no purpose other than looking good in small outfits.  To be fair though, she’s not half bad at that so she at least has something going for her.  Instead, my pick is from TNA.  Well he was at least.

 

I’m going with Chavo Guerrero.  I’ve watched wrestling for a long time and I can’t remember anyone that made me lose interest faster than Chavo.  His matches are usually good but I just do not care about anything he does or says.  His character is simply “I’m Eddie’s nephew!” which is even less than people like Miz or Alex Riley, the black holes of characters.  Most of the time I can bring myself up to indifference, but Chavo brings me down to a level that no one else is capable of.  Chavo wins this but thankfully he’s gone for now.

Thunder
Date: July 2, 1998
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re getting closer to Bash at the Beach and the card is starting to fill out a bit more. The hype machine around the NBA match calmed down a bit on Nitro and hopefully that follows through tonight. On another note though, a major announcement is happening tonight which is going to change a lot of things in WCW very soon. Let’s get to it.

The announcers welcome us to the show and talk about how amazing Bash at the Beach will be while recapping the ending to Monday’s show.

Here’s Jericho with a sign saying Conspiracy Victim. Jericho asks ring announcer Dave Penzer what town we’re in and still gets it wrong anyway. He knows everyone is here tos ee their role model and their paragon of virtue and here he is. The WCW offices wanted to put him on last tonight but he couldn’t make his fans wait that long.

Jericho has to face Dean Malenko at Bash at the Beach, but is he really someone you want to see with a belt around his waist? Dean Malenko isn’t the man you think he is. Ultimo Dragon has a concussion due to Dean attacking him on Monday, so tonight Jericho is going to face someone we haven’t seen in six months. It’s going to be a five star classic that all the sheet readers can go crazy over (his words) in the vein of Moby Dick vs. Captain Ahab. If this guy wins he’ll get a title shot at Bash at the Beach: Rey Mysterio Jr!

Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

If you’re familiar with Jericho, you should know what’s coming already. It’s a guy that stands about 4’8 and must weigh 200lbs. Jericho easily shoves him down as the fans are all over Jericho for this. Mysterio comes back with a dropkick but gets suplexed down for a cover, only to have Jericho intentionally roll Mysterio on top of him for the pin and the title shot.

Jericho is stunned, yes STUNNED I say, that he lost and declares Mysterio Jr. the #1 contender. He continues to be the most entertaining thing in the entire company.

Here’s Giant, now complete with Kane style pyro from the four corners of the ring, with something to say. He asks for a moment of silence while he delivers words from the almighty Hollywood Hogan. Hollywood asked Giant to come out here to let them know that he (Giant) is on the warpath. Goldberg and Kevin Greene need to get ready for the beating of their lives at Bash at the Beach. That brings him to the Red and Black, who are all cocky backstage. If they’re that arrogant, why not send out Lex Luger to face Giant tonight? Very simple promo here but it did everything it needed to do.

Doc Dean vs. Stevie Ray

Dean is a small British guy who never did anything in America. Stevie pounds him into the corner and hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Dean is sent to the floor for a few moments before Stevie hits the Slap Jack (lifting Pedigree) for the easy pin.

Post match here’s Chavo on his horse to talk to Stevie about his family problems. Chavo: “Do you know how to play Monopoly?” Before Stevie can answer, Chavo talks about how similar they are but apologizes to grandma for all of Eddie’s losses as of late. Chavo says Stevie is sorry to grandma for Booker as well but Stevie shoves Guerrero down. That’s fine with him as long as Stevie doesn’t take his horse. It’s good to see Chavo branching out.

British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart vs. Public Enemy

Before either team comes out, Disco Inferno and Alex Wright dance down the aisle. Disco says everyone is here to see them dance but Public Enemy interrupts. Rocco says they’re not here for a fight but thinks the people here might like to see a dance party. Am I watching Raw from 2012 or Thunder? The dance contest is on but Wright and Disco quickly bail and we take a break.

Back with Neidhart and Bulldog coming out for the actual match. Rocco and Neidhart get us going with Anvil hiptossing him down and quickly tagging in the Bulldog. Rock is sent to the floor for a breather and comes back in to take Neidhart into the Public Enemy corner. Off to Grunge As the scrapping style offense begins. A double elbow gets two on Neidhart but he fights over for the tag to Bulldog. Everything breaks down and here are Wright and Disco to beat down Grunge and Neidhart. They pick up the table in the ring as Bulldog is powerslamming Rocco, only to drive him through the raised table for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. This was an angle instead of a match but it didn’t work for the most part. It’s the most interesting thing Neidhart and Bulldog have done in a long time but that doesn’t make it anything special. Wright and Disco might be the best thing that could happen to these guys though as there’s nothing interesting about the same styles fighting each other over and over.

It’s time for the big announcement. JJ Dillon comes out and says he loves his job on days like this. After meeting with the executive committee all day, it has been determined that Hollywood Hogan will defend his title against GOLDBERG on Nitro in Goldberg’s hometown of Atlanta.

To this day I do not understand why this wasn’t on pay per view. Yes it was going to be in front of the biggest Nitro crowd ever, yes a lot of executives were going to be there, yes it was a huge match, but Goldberg vs. Hogan could have headlined Starrcade. The best guess I can come up with is they were that desperate to win a night in the ratings, but if they threw away millions and millions of dollars for a one night win, they deserve to go out of business.

If nothing else, hype the match up for a month or more instead of the four days they gave it. That might even be worse than putting it on Nitro. They can spend the better part of a month hyping up a one off tag match but the future of the company’s passing of the torch moment gets four days? I know the NBA match made a ton of money, but I find it hard to believe it made as much as Goldberg’s entire title run combined. It’s a very questionable way of getting to the match and I still don’t get it entirely.

Raven talks about making all of the Flock members feel worthwhile.

Kidman vs. Saturn

Fast start with Saturn flipping Kidman to the mat and taking him down with a spinwheel kick. The announcers ignore the match but it’s understandable this soon after an actual major announcement. An overhead belly to belly suplex puts Kidman over the top and Saturn chases Lodi for fun. A clothesline puts Kidman down again but Saturn’s suicide dive hits a chair instead of Kidman to change momentum.

After a quick chinlock Kidman gets two off a facebuster. Saturn comes back with a clothesline and a small package for two, only to be dropkicked right back down. Off to another chinlock by Kidman which is quickly let go so he can stomp on Saturn again. Saturn avoids a charge in the corner and the announcers speculate what a title change would mean for the PPV.

Kidman comes right back with a sitout spinebuster but gets crotched while going up for the Seven Year Itch. A superplex brings Kidman down again but Saturn has to superkick Lodi down. Kidman walks the corner for a bulldog but Saturn sweeps his legs out for another near fall. The Death Valley Driver is enough to pin Kidman a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Saturn continues to look awesome in the ring. At this point it would have been easy to see him as someone with potential in the future for WCW. He’s having consistently good matches and promos complete with a good look. What more can you ask for out of a guy? Kidman was quite good here as well, mixing up the high flying with some basic stuff to keep him from being one dimensional.

Saturn challenges Raven for a match.

We look back at Benoit and Anderson’s talk last week with Anderson saying the Horsemen are done.

Mongo talks about wanting the Horsemen back. We get some clips from NFL Hall of Fame coach Mike Ditka talking about how awesome Mongo is. McMichael tells Anderson to put the team together again and watch what happens.

We see Giant chokeslamming Luger from last week.

Brian Adams vs. Bobby Blaze

Blaze tries a quick hiptoss but gets taken down by a big suplex instead. Naturally the announcers focus on this match but ignored the good Saturn vs. Kidman match. A knee to the head puts Blaze down for two but he comes back with a spinwheel kick. Not that it matters as Adams catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and an over the shoulder backbreaker gets the pin. Total squash.

Raven comes out almost immediately and accepts Saturn’s challenge. He talks about giving Saturn a bloody nose in sixth grade and how he never thought Saturn would turn on him. Also, Kanyon is officially getting a break while Raven deals with Saturn.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Booker T

Booker is defending. Finlay jumps him before the bell like any good heel would do by firing off a series of European uppercuts. They head outside with Booker being rammed into various objects as this has been one sided so far. Booker is dropped throat first across the barricade for a two count inside. Finlay keeps pounding away on him and sends Booker into the corner but the champion comes out with him spinning sunset flip for two.

Finlay will have none of this offense from Booker and stomps him down again, only to have Booker come up with the Harlem sidekick to get a breather. The running forearm and a side slam get two each for the champion but Finlay uppercuts him down again. After some choking from the floor, Finlay kicks him in the face, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. The announcers are actually into the match surprisingly enough. Booker is tossed outside and Finlay calls for the tombstone, only to turn around and get caught by the missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad but this is another match we’ve seen a few times already. Finlay deserved a rematch for the title though so it’s understandable that we saw this again. The match wasn’t bad at all and was what Booker needs to get back to: having solid matches and winning from behind to keep the title.

Post match Booker says he’s coming for Bret until Stevie Ray says Booker needs to take care of business. triggering an argument between the brothers.

Here’s Chavo with a cardboard box. He sets the box up in the ring on a stick with a piece of twine around the stick. The words Acme Eddie Trap are written on the side and Chavo puts what looks like a burrito under the box. Chavo: “Be very very quiet. I’m hunting Eddies.” He pulls out a toy bow and arrow and says “here Eddie Eddie Eddie.”

Eddie comes out and moves the stick before hiding. Chavo looks under the box but doesn’t find Eddie. “I think I need a bigger box.” Eddie grabs Chavo and gives him a brainbuster on the floor before beating him with the burrito. For some reason there are scissors at ringside and Eddie cuts off some of his nephew’s hair until security takes him away. This was uh…..interesting shall we say.

Konnan vs. Kanyon

Konnan pounds away to start but Kanyon shoves him back and sweeps Konnan’s legs to get us to an early stalemate. Here’s the Flock on the ramp to watch the match, even though Raven says he was giving Kanyon a break. Kanyon grabs the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza and a fallaway slam for two each as the Flock watches from ringside. They trade rollups for a few two counts each until Konnan botches a headscissors attempt.

The Flock finally gets Konnan’s attention, allowing Raven to sneak in for an Evenflow to Kanyon. Man, if you can’t trust drugged out cult leaders who speak in nothing but poetry, who can you trust? Konnan doesn’t see this and puts the unconscious Kanyon in the Tequila Sunrise for the win.

Rating: D+. This was a rather sloppy match with several botches throughout. It wasn’t quite clear who was to blame for most of them but given how crisp Kanyon usually, putting the blame on Konnan would seem to be a safe bet. The Flock getting the better of Kanyon is something new for a change so at least they’re moving forward a bit.

Post match the Flock goes after Kanyon and Konnan comes back to try for a save, only to get beaten down as well. Luger comes out for the real save and clears the Flock out before calling out the Giant for the main event.

Lex Luger vs. Giant

Luger pounds away with right hands but Giant shoves him away and clotheslines Luger down. A splash gets two on Luger and Giant slows things down with his big man offense. Maybe all the cigarettes are taking their toll? Giant hits a LOUD chop in the corner and pounds away on his back. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Luger comes back with a jawbreaker to stun the big man. Luger hits his clotheslines and the forearm to set up the Rack but the Black and White comes in for the DQ. Nothing match.

Konnan gets beaten down as well until the Flock comes back in to go after Luger, triggering a three way brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me for the most part with the entertaining parts being overshadowed by the uninspired stuff later in the night. It was nice to have something new for the announcers to harp on for most of the show and it’s even nicer that it’s something that will matter after Bash at the Beach. This show was mostly about the midcard though, which is something that’s been needed lately.

 

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Thunder
Date: March 26, 1998
Location: Patriot Center, Fairfax, Virginia
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Spring Stampede and most of the card is pretty clear. That being said, the picture we’re getting isn’t all that pretty. The bat match announced on Monday is nothing special and it’s going to overshadow Sting vs. Savage which has the potential to be decent. The interesting question for tonight is will we get any followup on Goldberg’s attack on the NWO last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero Jr. to open the show. Chavo has to scratch Eddie’s back on the way to the ring. Eddie says Chavo has a TV Title shot tonight, but he hasn’t proven himself yet. Therefore, Eddie will be taking the title shot and Chavo gets this match.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit immediately chops Chavo down to start and stomps him into the corner. We cut up the commentary desk where Rick Rude and Eric Bischoff take over. Now we go back to the ring with Chavo still chopping away. Some backbreakers put Chavo down as Bischoff compares WCW to Kenneth Starr, because wrestling fans want to hear about current political events when they watch wrestling. Chavo comes back with some shots to the ribs and a dropkick gets no cover. Benoit comes back with a knee to Chavo’s ribs and drapes Chavo over the top rope. Chavo sunsets flips him for two but walks into the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Benoit’s yo-yo push continues. He goes from a US Title shot to jobbing to Norton to drawing with Booker T to being a bishop (he’s too good to be a pawn) in the Guerrero feud. It’s almost like WCW isn’t paying attention to what they do with him and just throw him out there at random.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff in the ring. Bischoff complains about WCW having people like Piper out here to cause trouble and says it’s easy to understand why Hogan has so many disciples. Hogan insists that there are no rifts in the NWO despite any footage WCW may show. He and Nash are best friends for life and WCW is just putting them in matches in hopes that they’ll argue. They’ll win at the PPV, just like they did on Monday.

This brings out Nash who says that he knows someone is pulling the NWO’s strings but no one pulls his. Hogan may claim to lead the NWO but everyone knows the heart and soul of the NWO is the Wolfpack. If Hogan is in charge, why is Syxx out of a job and why is Hall never on live TV? Hogan says Syxx couldn’t cut the mustard but doesn’t know where Hall is. Hogan: “I thought you knew.” Hollywood blames Savage for the problems and says they can deal with them at the PPV. He would partner with Nash anytime but Nash says it would be his honor brother, which confuses Eric and Hogan.

La Parka vs. Prince Iaukea

No entrance for either guy for the sake of time. La Parka does his dance to start before charging into a boot in the corner. A spinwheel kick staggers Iaukea but he sends La Parka to the floor for a flip dive off the apron. Back in and an elbow to the face gets two on the Prince but he grabs a northern lights suplex for a pn on La Parka out of nowhere. This was nothing.

Here’s Lex Luger to say that he and Sting will accept Hogan and Nash’s open challenge for a tag match tonight. I didn’t exactly hear an open challenge but whatever gets us to tonight’s run-in palooza is fine.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno

The crowd LOUDLY tells Jericho that he sucks on the way to the ring. They trade headlocks to start until Disco takes him down with a clothesline. Disco stomps him down in the corner and hits a middle rope fist to the head for two. Jericho takes him down and kicks Disco in the ribs before getting two off a suplex. Disco runs into a boot in the corner but comes back with an atomic drop and a neckbreaker for two each. That’s it for Disco though as he gets caught in a butterfly backbreaker and the Liontamer retains the title. Short and not much to this one.

Jericho takes Disco’s headband for the trophy case.

Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn

Tony does the ads for future shows and actually uses the term house shows. Goldberg asked for this match after Flynn gave him a test. Flynn fires off his kicks and takes Goldberg to the mat, only to be caught in a leg bar. A powerslam puts Jerry down but he grabs an armbar. Goldberg will have none of that and powerbombs him down before breaking out of a choke. They trade a few more holds and Flynn actually scores with some kicks. I don’t even get done typing that line before the spear and Jackhammer make Goldie 62-0.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Psychosis is now a face apparently. This is a revenge match as Lodi was injured in his match on Monday so Kidman is out to hurt Psychosis in turn. Kidman jumps him from behind and sends Psychosis into the ropes for a very slow motion Tajiri handspring elbow minus the handspring or the elbow. Instead he rolled and hit the middle rope and didn’t do any elbowing but it’s the best I’ve got. Psychosis goes up top but gets shoved to the floor for a big dive from Kidman.

Back in and Kidman gets two off a sitout spinebuster before putting on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Psychosis counters a powerbomb and gets two off a clothesline but charges into an elbow in the corner. Kidman is dropkicked into the ropes and Psychosis gets two off the guillotine legdrop with Kidman still in the ropes. Psychosis gets crotched on the top and superplexed down for no cover. Instead here’s Sick Boy to miss a springboard dropkick and hit Kidman by mistake, allowing Psychosis to hit the full guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: C-. Psychosis getting a little push is nice to see, but he was sloppy here. That’s odd to see as he was usually one of the better fliers in the company. Kidman was getting better every time he was out there but he still had a way to go. Also it’s nice to see some continuing stories in the lower card which is usually one random match after another. Decent stuff here too.

Here’s DDP to say he doesn’t want WCW’s help in getting the US Title back. He talks about being trained by Jake Roberts and is sick of Raven’s whining. Page is going to bang him soon.

British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart vs. Curt Hennig/Bryan Adams

It’s a brawl to start as Rude takes over on commentary from Marshall. We start with Smith vs. Adams as Davey ducks a big boot and trips Adams down for two. Off to Neidhart for some lame arm work and a slam before Hennig comes in with some shots to the back. A big shoulder runs Hennig over and it’s back to Davey who has to chase Hennig around the ring, allowing Bryan to get in a cheap shot.

Adams comes in legally and gets in some shots but Bulldog easily tags Neidhart back in. This is really dull so far. Neidhart is sent into the NWO corner and pounded down before walking into an Adams piledriver for two. A double clothesline gets two on Jim but he gets to his corner for the tag to Bulldog who cleans part of a house. Everything breaks down and they all go to the floor, brawling until the match juts ends in I think a double DQ.

Rating: D-. I know I said Benoit seemed to have no direction but it’s even truer with Bulldog and Smith. They’ve been thrown out there and are kind of fighting on Bret’s behalf against Hennig but they can’t be associated with him, meaning they can’t talk about him. The matches are really dull too, making these segments low points for the shows.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn

The war continues as Page still doesn’t have the belt itself. Saturn jumps Page as he comes in but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A rollup gets the same for the champion but he walks into a t-bone suplex for two. Saturn hooks an abdominal stretch to work on Page’s bad ribs but Page quickly hip tosses out of it.

Now Page puts on an abdominal stretch of his own but Saturn counters into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about the NWO. Page fights up and hits a quick belly to belly for two. Saturn hits a quick jawbreaker but gets crotched on top. Cue Raven with the belt on the stage so Page catches a diving Saturn in the Diamond Cutter and goes after Raven for the countout.

Rating: C+. The match didn’t last long but the Diamond Cutter at the end looked great. Saturn is very well rounded in the ring and there was a nice story going on with him being able to counter everything Page had but DDP having one big move to knock Saturn out. The lack of time hurt this one badly.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Before the bell, Booker asks Chavo why he’s giving up a title shot so easily. Eddie answers for his nephew and says this is family business. Booker says he’ll show Chavo how to deal with a bully but Eddie has some brass knuckles on his hand. He lays out Booker as the bell rings but only gets two. Chavo takes the knuckles off Eddie’s hand and throws them to him, drawing a quick DQ.

Eddie makes Chavo hit Booker with the knuckles and the stomping begins but Benoit comes out for the save. Tag match coming up it seems.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

A Buff distraction lets Norton get in a cheap shot for early control. Scott shoves him into the corner but walks into a belly to belly, allowing Rick to go after the leg. Back up and Norton no sells an elbow to the face before taking Steiner down. He stomps away but Rick bites his leg, only earning himself more stomping. Buff gets in some choking of his own but gets glared down by DiBiase.

Norton ducks his head and gets kicked in the face, allowing Rick to hit another belly to belly. A clothesline puts Norton on the floor but here’s Scott Steiner with a dog collar. They screw up the ending as Norton misses a shot with the collar and Rick picks it up. He swings but stops halfway through, allowing Norton to try a belly to back suplex. Now the collar to the head is enough to pin Norton.

Rating: D. Another boring match but at least Norton lost for a change. The ending here looked terrible as the referee was obviously looking at what was going on in addition to the bad timing of the collar shot. This was nothing to see, which is a running theme on tonight’s show.

Lex Luger/Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash

Nash is in street clothes. Hogan and Sting get things going with the champion knocking Hollywood down with ease. Sting shoves him down and flexes a bit so Hogan takes the bandana off. The champion blocks a ram into the buckle and pounds away in the corner. Off to Luger who gets caught by a thumb to the eye, allowing for the tag to Nash. Kevin runs Luger over and it’s back to Hogan for some choking. Hogan holds Luger for Nash but Lex avoids the big boot which hits Hogan instead. There’s the hot tag to Sting as everything breaks down. Nash takes the Stinger Splash but Savage runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yep it was about three minutes long and ended in a run-in. As usual, this was all about the NWO with the world champion and Luger just filling in spots. Sting’s momentum is completely gone just a few months after he was the biggest star in WCW. But hey, at least we’re getting MORE Hogan right?

Post match Savage goes after Sting but Hogan goes after Savage for no apparent reason. Nash pulls Hogan off of Savage so they have a staredown but the rest of the NWO comes in for the big brawl. Sting and Luger manage to fight them off with relative ease and Hogan argues with Nash to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s some decent wrestling in there but most of the matches were too short to mean anything. The main event sucked and was angle advancement, which is ok some of the time but when that’s all the main events are anymore it’s hard to care. Somehow this was a big improvement over last week’s show. At least there was some star power this week.

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I read this interview today and thought it came off as very classy and professional sounding.  It’s from a guy I don’t care much for, but it was very pleasant to read and it makes me happy to know there are classy guys in wrestling.  It’s from recently released TNA wrestler Joey Ryan and I saw it on 411mania.com.Joey Ryan recently spoke with ITRLive about his TNA run and more. Check out the highlights:

In gettung into TNA: “Through David Lagana. I worked with David Lagana in a few places actually Ring of Honor, NWA Hollywood and then he booked me for Ring Ka King in India. Then he got hired to be a writer in TNA and they were looking for guys. He suggested me to Al Snow and Al Snow saw footage of me and decided to make me a GutCheck contestant. It kind of happened quickly. They called me up and Al Snow asked if I would be interested and I said yes. He said, “Alright, I’ll see you next week”. There wasn’t anything I had to sit on really.”

On TNA GutCheck: “They literally don’t tell you anything. I was the second ever guy to do GutCheck. The first GutCheck was Alex Silva. There was that whole thing where Ric Flair changed his decision on Alex Silva. You see, I don’t know how much of that is really a shoot or not. I think they brought me in particularly to be a “No” because they just needed somebody from the indys to make this seem more legitimate and told “no”. I think that was a work on their part. I think when I wrestled and I had a good match against Austin Aries, thank God I had to wrestle Austin Aries, then I came in and did my promos and stuff like that, even before I was in front of the judges, they weren’t telling me I was going to get a “No”, but I had a few people telling me things. Like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan came up to me and said, “Hey, we like your look, we think you are good. No matter what happens out there, we want to do something with you hopefully down the line”. They were hinting that I was going to get a “No” vote. I was already going in there portraying a heel character so I knew going into this that I wasn’t just going to go out there, be told “No” and walk away with my tail between my legs. I’m going to be adamant about it. I was going to be myself, a guy who has been told “No” for the last 12 years by major companies. After I did that promo, there was talk of me going around. They were saying to themselves, “How can we use this guy?” Before that, there was nothing planned for me.

On the mood backstage following the GutCheck segment: “Well I don’t know if they do this anymore but there were cameras all over the place. Everyone was still filming me. I had an argument with Al Snow in the back. Was it a worked shoot? I don’t know. He was yelling at me, I thought it was pretty intense. I knew cameras were on too so I wasn’t sure. Once the cameras cut, Eric Bischoff approached me and told me, “That was incredible! That’s what the segment should be! That’s what live TV is all about!” He has a producer’s mind. He was the one who came up to me and was the most vocal about it all.”

On Taz backstage following the GutCheck: “Taz is kind of a hard-ass. I think he knew but I don’t think he liked me right off the bat because of that. He’s a prideful person, he is very proud of his wrestling and I was bad-mouthing his wrestling. I think he got to the point where he realized that I was doing anything I could to get a job.”

On signing with TNA: “I actually got a call from Bruce Prichard the next day saying, “We got a contract for you”. I signed it and faxed it back to them. At that point, I don’t really know if they knew where the storyline was going to go at that point. They just wanted to capitalize on any hype that happened.”

On teaming With Matt Morgan: “Don’t know, it was a little hard to pull off because Matt is this unstoppable monster. I’m just this small guy. Matt would just look stupid if I just keep costing him all of these wins. I don’t think it went the way they planned it. I don’t know if this didn’t go the way they planned or if they just didn’t think about how long they could keep this up. It just gets to the point where you think, how long is Matt going to stick with this guy that isn’t winning. We were tagging against Chavo and Hernandez. I think they used me as a fall guy to keep Matt Morgan protected.”

On the negative rumors about TNA contracts: “I had a great contract. I got a monthly salary and a bonus whenever I did wrestle. So yeah, I had a great contract. They said, “Hey, I want to pay you” and I said, “Great, I like getting paid”.”

On his release from TNA: “I knew there had been some office cuts and to be honest, I knew after the Matt Morgan stuff as they used me so sparingly. I think I did a PPV match that was unannounced. I did the referee stuff with the Knockouts. Then I did the random X-division 3-way match so. When I wasn’t being used, I was at home collecting paychecks, so I kind of knew that this was too good to be true. They are paying me to sit at home for months now. Part of me said, I know Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff like me so there’s some pull there so maybe they are waiting to come up with something for me. I got the hint myself when I was just sitting at home getting paid.”

On being notified of his release: “Al Snow called me and said “This isn’t anything against you or your work, this is just budget cuts”. I know they are on the road now and that’s much more expensive. I think they are just trying to make the company as profitable as possible. It was a decision they had to make. They had to cut guys without affecting the current storylines. I’m not bitter about it. I understand why. I don’t have anything bad to say about anyone there. It’s just a business thing.”

 

Again, very classy, logical, and not bitter in the slightest.  That’s so refreshing to hear after all the people you see whining and moaning about politics and it wasn’t their fault and all that other jazz.  I’m impressed, which doesn’t happen often.

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

We’re live again tonight and in the new location of Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the big live show that is more or less the PPV special of the month, featuring the Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match between Hardy and Ray for the title, AJ vs. Storm and a few other major matches. This show was hyped up very well over the last few weeks and it should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ’s dilemma of which side he should pick in the war between TNA and Aces and 8’s. We also look at the other matches tonight, including Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell and Aries/Roode vs. Guerrero/Hernandez for the tag titles.

Hogan greets hardy.

We get an intro sequence which looks like opening credits.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending and if they win, Chavo and Hernandez can never team again. This is also 2/3 falls. The challengers have a boxing legend whose name I couldn’t catch here with them, carrying a Texas flag. The champions jump the challengers as they get the boxer a seat and the brawl is on fast. Roode sends Aries into the corner to dropkick Chavo, who stumbles into a a Roode spinebuster for the first fall at 35 seconds.

Aries immediately tries a Frog Splash on Chavo but only hits mat, letting Chavo hit a quick rollup to tie things up at 1:38. Aries pounds away on Chavo but it’s Roode hitting a big slam for two. A slingshot hilo by Aries keeps Chavo in trouble and a Ted DiBiase fist drop gets two. Back to Roode who escapes a tornado DDT but gets caught by a Chavo dropkick. Hernandez is nowhere to be seen though as he was sent into the steps in the pre-match attack.

Actually scratch that as he’s back up and gets the tag to clean house. A gorilla press puts Aries down and there’s the big running charge down the ramp to jump back into the ring for a double clothesline to take the champions down. We take a break and come back with Aries diving off the top onto Hernandez for two. We get a long shot of the Spanish announcers as Roode hooks a quick chinlock followed by a necksnap, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back of Hernandez’s neck by Aries.

Hernandez finally comes back with a double clothesline to put the champions down and there’s the hot tag to Chavo. He comes in with a slingshot hilo to Roode and a headscissors sends Bobby to the outside. Chavo hits a big dive onto Aries and Roode for a near fall back inside. There are two Amigos to Aries and three of them for Roode. Aries breaks up the Frog Splash and Roode gets a rollup for two. Off to the Crossface on Chavo but Hernandez breaks it up. Hernandez tries another dive but takes out Chavo by mistake.

Roode only gets two from the mistake but there’s a HARD dropkick in the corner from Aries. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT but Austin makes another save at two. Aries loads up a superplex but Hernandez pulls him off into Border Toss position. The champions have a double suplex countered and Chavo hits the Frog Splash onto Roode for the pin and the titles at 15:13.

Rating: B. As is the case with every match the new champions have, it was entertaining but it does nothing for me because they’re so ridiculously uninteresting. I was hoping for the titles to stay on Roode/Aries here, but we have to appease the Texas crowd right, because Texas is AWESOME.

Brooke Hogan shrugs off some sexual harassment from Joey Ryan and tells him he has a match tonight.

Aces and 8’s arrive and they’re actually on motorcycles for once.

Here’s Joseph Park to discuss some business. He has issues with Aces and 8’s and Bully Ray in particular. What Aces and 8’s have been doing to TNA is nothing short of felonious and just mean, so it’s time for justice to be served by Jeff Hardy tonight. Once Hardy wins the title though, it’s not over. Park is a divorce lawyer and he has drawn up a writ of annulment for Brooke and Bully which will be filed soon.

Cue D-Von who takes the paper and rips it up. If Park has a problem with Ray, he has a problem with D-Von, so stay out of family business. D-Von goes to leave but sneaks up on Park and lays him out with a chain shot to the ribs.

We get a video package on Terrell vs. Kim.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

ODB is guest referee. Taryn starts fast with a suplex for two and a monkey flip puts Gail down. Kim pulls her off the middle rope and stomps away before dropping Taryn with a forearm. Gail chokes awayo n the ropes but stops to get in ODB’s face. A rollup gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the tights. During the argument between Gail and ODB, Taryn gets a rollup of her own for the pin at 2:30.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week.

Magno gets the shot in the ring.

We look at AJ’s issues and him walking out on TNA.

Hogan says he’s nervous about getting the world title back but first up, it’s AJ’s time on the clock.

AJ has nothing to say to a TNA cameraman. Anderson brings him another vest.

Video on Hardy vs. Ray tonight.

Here’s Hogan to call out AJ Styles for his decision. AJ comes out and Hulk gives him an ultimatum. Styles isn’t pleased and says he doesn’t react well to demands, but here’s Storm to interrupt. James says he isn’t here to deliver ultimatums or even to drink beer. Instead it’s for a fight and they lock eyes, but here’s Bad Influence. Kaz says they’re here to mend fences and not throw fists. They see through everything going on here because they’re both sexual and intellectual.

Thunderlips (Hogan) is trying to get AJ to join TNA, which is a good idea because Aces and 8’s are destroying his company. Aces and 8’s are smart to try to recruit TNA’s best soldier of the last eleven years. Daniels says it’s a bad idea for AJ to join either, because they’ll just chew AJ up and spit him out. Therefore, AJ should join up with Bad Influence.

Daniels brings up Hogan and Dixie turning their backs on AJ and brags about all the world titles “they” won together. AJ gets annoyed and shakes a bit, but Storm gets in his face. Styles leaves the ring and looks at Bad Influence before walking away. Hogan begs again and makes Styles vs. Storm next week.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry

Joey is scared to death and is immediately run over with chops and shoulder blocks. Two boots in the corner from Joey are easily blocked and it’s a powerslam to plant him down. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends Ryan at 2:30. Total squash.

Brooke tells Hulk she has to be at ringside for the main event. Matt Morgan pops up and says that it’s another Hogan mistake, like not making him #1 conteder at Lockdown. Morgan says that those mistakes will keep happening and then they’ll all come crashing down on him.

It’s time for Gut Check. Danny Davis isn’t sure but eventually says no. Magno cuts a promo that is barely understandable as English isn’t his first language. Pritchard says Magno isn’t ready yet so it’s no, which ends this.

Bully Ray makes Aces and 8’s promise not to interfere tonight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Full Metal Mayhem which is TNA’s version of TLC, as in you have to climb a ladder and pull the belt down. Brooke Hogan is at ringside as well. Ray yells at his wife before the bell and Brooke looks irritated. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner and Poetry in Motion to start and Ray is in early trouble. The challenger brings in a chair and cracks Ray over the back with it before bringing in the first ladder of the match. Jeff makes an early try for the belt but Ray tips the ladder over.

A mule kick staggers Ray but Bully backdrops Jeff onto the ramp to take over. Ray whips him in the back with the chain but Hardy still pops up to slug it out on top of the ladder. Hardy gets suplexed down off the ladder as we take a break. Back with Hardy getting off a table and blasting Ray on the ropes with a chair. Hardy turns a ladder upside down but can’t superplex Ray onto it due to high levels of fat.

Instead Ray comes back with a front suplex to crush Hardy’s ribs against the steel. Some chair shots to the legs keep Hardy in trouble and Ray brings in another ladder. The table is still set up in the ring. Ray shouts about beating up Hardy and then keeping the title then slapping Brooke around, but the distraction lets Jeff get in some shots of his own. Ray takes Hardy back down but goes to the floor to yell at Brooke for a LONG time. Brooke finally slaps him and here comes Hardy.

Jeff slams Ray into the steps and puts him on a table….which immediately breaks. Hardy goes all the way to the entrance of the arena to get a table but a Twist of Fate keeps Ray down. Jeff puts Ray on the table for a BIG Swanton to the floor and both guys are down. Hardy goes up the ladder in the ring but Taz hands Ray a hammer. Ray goes up the ladder but hits Hardy with his fist instead of the hammer. Jeff gets his hand on the belt but a hammer to the head knocks him off and through the table. Ray retains the title at 17:10.

Rating: B. Solid match here and that Swanton was great. It wasn’t as great as most of the TLC matches but at the same time, we’ve seen these guys do this so often over the years that it’s kind of hard to get new stuff out there over and over again. That being said, it was entertaining which is exactly what it needed to be.

Aces and 8’s come in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This did indeed feel like a PPV quality show. It does drag in the middle and we didn’t get anything with AJ other than Bad Influence being interested in him, but other than that we got everything we were supposed to get. The main event delivered and it was still a hard hitting back and forth match with some close calls by Hardy. Good, solid show overall as TNA continues to do very well with the new style.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Frog Splash to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Joey Ryan – Fireman’s carry into a spinebuster

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Ray pulled down the title belt

 

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NXT
Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak.  I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock.  Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.

Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason.  Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason.  I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times.  I’ll do my best though.  Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair.  Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot.  Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.

Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus.  He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points.  Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar.  And there goes my feed.  Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young.  We take an actual break after that.

Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo.  We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy.  I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight.  Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands.  Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him.  Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.

Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count.  Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock.  Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit.  Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young.  And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15.  I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.

Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all.  Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always.  That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.

We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills.  Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head.  O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.

Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon

 

O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process.  Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on.  Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match.  O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later.  The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler.  Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.

Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show.  I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time.  Actually that would imply he has a character.  The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible.  It’s not good but it’s passable I guess.  He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.

We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here.  Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.

 

Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week.  He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse.  Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.

 

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

 

It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it.  Striker is on commentary for this.  Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts.  He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing.  Novak is going to make him famous.  Just….no.  Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.

William Regal vs. JTG

 

Oh joy.  Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?).  Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls.  Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing.  About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting.  Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care.  There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway.  The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer.  Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually.  Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ.  Terrible main event to a terrible show.

We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song.  We also see Cole getting beat up.

 

Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever.  The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest.  This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all.  There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon.  It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying.  I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling.  Terrible, terrible show.

 

Results

Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash

Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered