ECW On Sci Fi – September 2, 2008: They Broke Mark Henry

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 2, 2008
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the last ECW before Unforgiven and I have no idea what they’re going to do with this week. At the end of the day, there is nothing left for them to do before the Championship Scramble and that isn’t overly promising. These shows are only so interesting in the first place and this isn’t giving me much more hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

We open with the Dirt Sheet, with John Morrison saying he once beat Stephen Hawkins at Parcheesi 44 times in a row. Miz is ready to win the ECW Title in his hometown at Unforgiven, even if Morrison didn’t qualify. Morrison says he’s been to the top of the mountain and had time to drink a soda (I shouldn’t be chuckling this much at John Morrison), that is bogus.

With that out of the way, here is our first guest, so cue ECW Champion Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas. Morrison says this will be better tonight and they won’t even make fun of Henry’s belt extender. Henry isn’t happy but here is second guest, Chavo Guerrero, with his theme music replaced by a Miz and Morrison performed hummed version (Henry is completely unable to hide his smile).

Chavo isn’t happy, so Morrison tells Kerwin in the truck to come see him after the show. Chavo wants his ECW Title back but Morrison says he lost it like six months ago so he should be over it. We move on to Finlay, who can’t be here tonight because he couldn’t find a babysitter for Hornswoggle. Instead, we have Finlay’s family, which is Morrison and Miz on the Titantron in front of a bar, doing some very bad Irish accents.

Miz starts doing a dance and everyone is just openly smiling and laughing. The real Finlay and Hornswoggle come out, with Hornswoggle kicking Uncle Miz in the leg. Morrison is ready to bring out Jeff Hardy (Miz: “It’s Matt.” Morrison: “Whatever.”), who Finlay remembers beating Morrison to qualify for the Scramble. Hardy mocks everyone, including Bam Neely, but Henry doesn’t want to hear this.

Henry threatens Hardy, who hopes that Atlas gets some rest on Saturday because he has a lot of saves to make at Unforgiven. Morrison and Miz jump Hardy and the brawl is on so here are Tommy Dreamer and Evan Bourne to get in on this. Nothing special brawl, absolutely hilarious stuff from Miz and Morrison.

Post break the fight almost breaks out again in the back but Teddy Long makes the eight man tag. And don’t worry about ruining the Dirt Sheet, because it was ruined when Miz started talking.

Gavin Spears vs. Super Crazy

Spears says this is his second chance to make a first impression and he’s ready to go. Crazy spins out of a wristlock to start and pulls Spears into a quickly escaped leglock. Back up and Spears fires off some knees to the chest before going with a more basic stomp to the back of Crazy’s head. Crazy fights up and gets taken right back down and Spears grabs something like a crossface. That’s broken up as well and Crazy kicks him down, setting up a quick moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s pretty easy to see why Spears didn’t take on his first attempt on the main roster. Nothing he did here stood out in any way and it made for a dull match. Crazy was a fine choice to work with him as Crazy can do stuff with just about anyone, but this wasn’t working and it showed badly.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Ryan Braddock

Ortiz, who is still undefeated, manages to get about a dozen people spinning his towel. If you can’t get that over in Pittsburgh, just pack it in already man. Braddock grabs a headlock to start but Ortiz fights out. That doesn’t last long either as Braddock comes back with a middle rope knee to the head for two.

Striker makes a Welcome Back Kotter reference and I dislike that I’m smiling a bit as a result. Ortiz fights out of a chinlock so Braddock knees him in the head. The chinlock goes on again for a bit longer this time but Ortiz gets up again. A sitout powerslam sets up a middle rope shoulder, followed by the Big O to give Ortiz the pin.

Rating: C. Ortiz is the definition of “he’s there” and that’s not going to work long term. There was nothing to the match and nothing makes Ortiz stand out. The deal is that he’s undefeated and in theory he’ll put over a bigger name eventually, but that doesn’t make this any easier to watch. Braddock was nothing more than a warm body for Ortiz to beat up, though Braddock does at least have a decent look.

Raw Rebound, focusing entirely on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with the title situation not even being mentioned.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention.

Unforgiven rundown.

Evan Bourne/Tommy Dreamer/Matt Hardy/Finlay vs. John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero/Mark Henry/Miz

The respective seconds are here too. Hardy and Morrison start things off before Dreamer comes in to take over. Finlay adds a clothesline but gets taken into the corner for the tag off to Guerrero. An atomic drop gets Finlay out of trouble and another clothesline connects. Finlay is back up and ties Chavo in the ring skirt so Hornswoggle can take Neely out as we take a break.

Back with what sounds like Morrison calling Hornswoggle a bet wetter, plus Guerrero giving Bourne a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Bourne is back up to kick Miz down and a standing moonsault gets two. Henry comes in to launch Bourne into the air for a crash and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock.

Bourne gets sent outside for a stomping from Neely, and a running knee from Morrison, which is at least more legal. The chinlock goes on back inside and Bourne is driven back into the corner for daring to fight up. Bourne finally manages a hurricanrana to Guerrero and it’s off to Dreamer to clean house. A bulldog gets two on Guerrero but Henry comes in to start the smashing.

Some knees in the corner set up a crossface chickenwing from Guerrero but Dreamer is out pretty quickly. Hardy comes back in, only for Henry to drop him with a clothesline. The splash misses though and Broune is up with the shooting star press. Dreamer adds a frog splash and Finlay clears out the rest of the team. The Twist Of Fate gives Hardy the pin to quite the crowd reaction.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and felt like a big time house show main event. Above all else, I’ll take it over the usual matches we see around here. It helps when you have a match to build towards rather than just doing the same stuff over and over again. Hardy continues to feel like the biggest star around here and building around him is far from a bad idea. The rest of the people did fine, but this was about Hardy and Henry, which makes sense.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event was the only match that was worth seeing and they actually did a nice job of setting things up for Sunday’s title match. Throw in the outstandingly funny opening segment and it was more than enough to carry the other lame matches. It wasn’t a great show or anything, but I laughed more than once at the Dirt Sheet and I’ll take that every time.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2008 (2025 Edition): Fruit Baskets Go Over There

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – August 26, 2008: All Together Now

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 26, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Unforgiven and that doesn’t mean much around here, as the ECW Title is just kind of floating around. That leaves champion Mark Henry without much to do and hopefully that is addressed this week. The show could use a nice boost, but that has been the case for a good while now. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Tiffany to introduce Teddy Long for a chat. Long gets right to the point: ECW is going to have its own Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. He won’t explain the rules because they’re on WWE.com, but tonight it’s time for a bunch of qualifying matches.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. John Morrison

Their pants are far more similar than they should be. Hardy headlocks him down to start but Morrison fights out, only to be sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hardy is sent face first into the buckle, setting up the chinlock. A neckbreaker gives Morrison two but Starship Pain completely misses. Hardy pulls him out of the corner for a sitout powerbomb and the Side Effect gets two more. Back up and Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor so we can take a break.

We come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Morrison Russian legsweeps him for two. The Moonlight Drive is blocked so Morrison goes simple by just hammering on Hardy’s face. Morrison’s running knee gets two and the chinlock goes on again. Hardy fights up and hits the middle rope elbow to the back of the head for a quick two. Morrison’s backslide with feet on the ropes gets the same and they trade rollups for two each. The Flying Chuck drops Hardy for another near fall before a double clothesline takes them both down. Back up and the Moonlight Drive is countered into the Twist Of Fate to give Hardy the win.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going and wound up being a heck of a match with both of them working rather hard. The good thing is that while Hardy is a star and the likely winner, Morrison is just good enough to be a realistic threat. I had a good time with this one and it was one of the best matches ECW has had in a very long time.

Long and Tiffany are excited about Matt Hardy qualifying (Tiffany especially so) when Mark Henry and Tony Atlas come in to complain about the Championship Scramble. Long really doesn’t want to hear it.

Raw Rebound.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne gets an early two off a rollup and grabs a hammerlock. Miz’s rollup gets two and Bourne armdrags him right back down into an armbar. Back up and Bourne hits a nice dropkick, only to be thrown out of the corner for a crash out to the floor. Miz stomps away back inside and grabs a seated abdominal stretch.

A release gordbuster gives Miz two and he grabs the bodyscissors. Bourne breaks out without much effort and kicks him in the head (simple, but effective) for two. The standing moonsault gets two more and Bourne takes him up top, where Miz avoids a super hurricanrana to crotch Bourne on top. The Reality Check gives Miz the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great match but Miz’s rise is a nice thing to see. He absolutely has the talent to do something, but he started so low on the totem pole that it’s taking time for him to find his footing. He was perfectly competent looking here though and that’s a great sign for his future.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Tommy Dreamer

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Dreamer grabs an early armdrag into a quickly broken armbar. Chavo takes over and stomps away, setting up an abdominal stretch. With that not lasting long, Dreamer knocks him out of the air and a backdrop puts Chavo down again. A running powerslam gives Dreamer two but Neely offers a distraction. Chavo sends them together and snaps Dreamer’s throat across the top. The frog splash gives Chavo the win.

Rating: C. They kept this short and that’s the right idea. While I could see Dreamer getting into the title match, it’s better to keep him away from higher profile matches. Chavo is another example of someone who can be slotted into the title match and work well at making anyone else look better. He might be a bit uninteresting, but that’s a valuable role to fill.

Josh Matthews, Candice Michelle and Batista are at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, telling people to vote.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Mike Knox

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and these two have been brawling lately. An aggressive lockup goes nowhere to start so Finlay goes with a headlock, earning himself a shoulder back down. Knox powers him up against the ropes and they go to the floor, where Knox clotheslines the post by mistake. We take a break and come back with Finlay working on the arm with a hammerlock. Back up and the arm gets wrapped around the rope, with Knox bailing out to the floor.

A powerslam gets Knox out of trouble and he takes Finlay back inside for the running crotch attack. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Finlay’s back for a good while before Knox drives him into the corner. Knox makes the mistake of going after Hornswoggle though, earning a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Knox boots him down for two and it’s time to go after the shillelagh. The referee takes it away so Hornswoggle throws in another one, which knocks Knox cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. I can appreciate the idea of tying the established feud into the Championship Scramble stuff, as it’s nice to cover two birds with one match. It’s also nice to see Finlay dispatch Knox, who hasn’t exactly done much to make him stand out. Finlay is another guy who makes for an interesting addition to the title match and should be a good final addition to the field.

Finlay and Hornswoggle dance with some kids to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Definitely a better show than usual here, which is mainly due to everything feeling like it had a point. It’s really dull to see a bunch of filler on a show that only runs for an hour a week so this was at least a lot more focused. The opener is rather good too and that was enough to boost up the rest of the show.

 

 

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Houston Wrestling Spectacular: Well They Got Close

Houston’s Wrestling Spectacular
Location: Sam Houston Coliseum, Houston, Texas
Commentator: Paul Boesch

This is a DVD released by Jim Cornette a few years ago and I have very little idea of what to expect. As you can probably guess, this is all from Paul Boesch’s Houston Wrestling and mostly from the late 70s/early 80s. I have no idea what to expect here but there are some very talented names on the lineup. Let’s get to it.

We open with what looks like the opening from Houston’s TV show in a nice touch.

From April 16, 1982. I’m not completely sure on the date as only the year is accurate but that seems to be the most likely option.

AWA World Title: Nick Bockwinkel vs. Dick Slater

Bockwinkel is defending and Slater’s Southwest Title isn’t on the line. Slater takes him down with a hammerlock to start and it’s time for some early cranking. Bockwinkel has to get up and go to the ropes for the escape and we reset things a bit. They go to the test of strength until Slater hits a headbutt, setting up a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Slater plants him down for two, followed by a small package for the same. Slater goes with the Indian Deathlock as Boesch talks about Bockwinkel’s father losing his ear in a match.

Bockwinkel grabs a forearm around the face for the break and hammers away at the chest. That’s fine with Slater, who headbutts his way out of trouble as Bockwinkel can’t get anything going here. We’re back in the front facelock for a bit until Bockwinkel gets up for some shoulders in the corner. One of them misses though and Bockwinkel hits the post to put Slater right back in control. Bockwinkel backdrops out of a piledriver attempt but Slater is right back with an armbar.

They get up but Bockwinkel hits him in the ribs, only for Slater to go back to the hammerlock as the arm cranking continues. The arm is tied up in Slater’s legs but Bockwinkel makes the ropes. Bockwinkel tries to hammer away but gets sent face first into the mat, which is enough to send him backing to the floor. Back in and they ram heads for a double down, giving Bockwinkel a much needed breather.

Slater slams him down but misses a middle rope knee drop to FINALLY give Bockwinkel an opening. The Figure Four goes on and Slater is in trouble but he’s able to roll over to the ropes. Bockwinkel wraps the bad knee around the post before snapping Slater’s throat across the top rope for the first fall at 15:18.

We get a one minute rest period between falls before Bockwinkel goes right after the leg again. Slater kicks him down though and sends Bockwinkel outside, followed by a bunch of kicks on the way back inside. A falling headbutt and a knee drop have Bockwinkel in trouble and Slater puts on his own Figure Four. The rope is reached again so Slater wraps the leg around the post (just as Bockwinkel did to him). A top rope elbow to the back of the head gives Slater the second fall to tie it up at 19:49.

We get another rest period before Slater starts fast with a piledriver to send Bockwinkel outside again. Back in and Slater hits a suplex for two but Bockwinkel slugs his way out of a spinning toehold. The referee gets bumped though and there’s no one to count as Slater gets an O’Connor Roll. The very delayed count gets two but Bockwinkel reverses into a rollup of his own and uses the tights for the pin to retain at 22:09.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but eventually turned into Slater being good, but not quite good enough to win the whole thing in the end. That’s a nice story to tell and shows just how much better Bockwinkel was here. Bockwinkel absolutely takes some time to get used to, but when he’s showing what he can do, it absolutely works.

Post match Slater gets in a bonus shot to knock Bockwinkel off the apron.

From December 21, 1979.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Ken Patera

2/3 falls again and JJ Dillon is here with Patera. The fans rather approve as Patera gets his warmup pants off and commentary talks about how Snuka got his physique by doing the simple things in life. Such as climbing coconut trees. They lock up to start and Patera shoves him away before they go to a crisscross. Snuka leapfrogs him into a crossbody and Patera already wants a breather.

Back in and Boesch says Snuka has “hit the highspots”. Ok so it’s in a different context entirely (he’s talking about going to big cities) but it sounds so strange anyway. A slam sends Patera bailing to the floor again, followed by a headlock from Snuka back inside. Patera powers out and poses, earning himself a quick dropkick in a funny bit. Snuka grinds away on the headlock again as Dillon is rather anxious on the floor.

Patera finally sends him into the ropes for the break but gets caught in another headlock. Back up again and Patera tries to squeeze the ribs to escape but settles for backing him into the ropes instead. Patera gets up and starts in with the clubbing forearms, plus a knee to the ribs to really stagger Snuka. The chinlock goes on and Patera, like a villain, pulls Snuka down to prevent the escape.

Snuka fights out but gets dropped with another knockdown. A top rope ax handle to the back and an elbow give Patera two, with Boesch sounding rather proud. Snuka gets in a shot to the head and starts the comeback, including a jumping…uh…something to the face. A big chop drops Patera again but he gets in a shot of his own for a breather. Snuka is back with a crossbody but Patera rolls through and his feet land on the rope for the pin and the first fall at 13:23.

We get a longer than usual rest period between the falls, which is at least partially so Dillon can say there was NO cheating. The second fall begins and Snuka is not exactly pleased. Some chops in the corner have Patera in more trouble and a slam makes it worse. The running diving headbutt has Patera rocked and a jumping headbutt gives Snuka two. Another headbutt gives Snuka two, with Patera having to get his foot on the ropes. A quick shot staggers Snuka and Patera gets his full nelson.

Snuka flips Patera forward for the escape (which you don’t see very often) and he makes another comeback with the classic technique of hitting someone in the face. That means it’s time to start doing a comeback dance but Patera gets his knees up on a splash. The rollup cover gets three, which doesn’t count as the referee sees Patera’s feet on the ropes. Instead Snuka gets an O’Connor roll to tie it up at 20:01.

The annoyed Patera forearms away in the corner to start the third fall but Snuka atomic drops him down. Back up and Patera gets a bearhug to slow things back down. That’s broken up as well and they crash out to the floor, where Dillon grabs Snuka. A headbutt cuts that off (the fans approve) and Snuka chases Dillon until it’s a double countout at 24:31 (the fans disapprove).

Rating: B. Again, it was a bit slow at times but I was wanting to see where this went. That’s a good sign as I don’t have any connection to the story or the wrestlers at this point but it worked anyway. If nothing else, it’s always interesting to see the pre-prison version of Patera, as he really was good as a power villain. It’s easy to see how he became such a big star in the WWF not long after this.

From July 27, 1979.

Jack Brisco vs. The Spoiler

2/3 falls again and Gary Hart is here with the Spoiler (a fairly tall masked man who has impressed me before). A headlock doesn’t get Spoiler very far to start so he tries it again to some better success. They fight into a top wristlock but Spoiler pulls him right back into the headlock. Brisco can’t get very far by grabbing the leg and Spoiler keeps grinding away, with Boesch talking about how Spoiler doesn’t like Hart cheating for him.

The referee catches the cheating though and makes Spoiler break it, which he does…with a facebuster in a smart move. We’re right back on the headlock and Brisco is in more trouble, even as he’s on top of Spoiler on the mat. Brisco starts kneeing away at the back to escape and we hit a reverse chinlock. Now it’s Brisco grabbing a headlock of his own, with Spoiler stacking him up to escape.

A big boot sends Brisco outside but Spoiler misses a dive off the top, which is what Boesch said made Brisco World Champion. That’s remarkably specific. Brisco punches him down again and grabs a chinlock, with Spoiler getting a foot into the ropes. Some knee drops have Brisco down again and a rollup with trunks gets two, as Brisco’s feet are in the ropes. The Claw hold goes on and Spoiler grinds away, with Brisco looking all wobbly.

Another comeback has Brisco on his feet and he finally gets out with a shinbreaker. Brisco stays on the leg and puts on a half crab, with Spoiler tapping, albeit about 15 years before that meant anything in wrestling (with a useful graphic before the match reminding us that it doesn’t matter). Spoiler eventually manages to grab the claw again but Brisco goes back to the leg. The Figure Four goes on and Spoiler grabs the referee, who KICKS SPOILER for the break (that has to be cheating).

Hart’s distraction makes Brisco let go and he charges into a boot in the corner. Spoiler rolls him up but Hart gets caught helping on the pin and that’s a DQ for the first fall at 18:11. Hart and Spoiler both hammer away between falls so Brisco decks Hart and rolls Spoiler up for the pin at 19:13.

Rating: B-. They had a nice story here with Boesch telling us that Spoiler was getting sick of Hart’s cheating and then Hart cost him both falls. At the same time, Brisco is still one of the best of all time and can work well with anyone in there. I always get something out of his matches and this was no exception. The Spoiler continues to look like someone who should be just kind of there but does well every chance he gets.

Post match Brisco chases Spoiler off.

From November 30, 1979.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Ken Patera

2/3 falls again and James J. Dillon is with Patera again. Patera grinds away on the headlock to start and hammers away a bit before grabbing it for a second time. A snapmare makes Rhodes get funky like a monkey though and it’s time to work on a wristlock. An armbar has Patera down and Dillon is right there on the apron to accuse Rhodes of pulling the tights.

Dillon’s distraction lets Patera get out so Rhodes starts the flip, flop and fly (as only he could ever really do right). Patera fights back and gets a chinlock to slow Rhodes down a good bit. Rhodes gets up as well and starts firing off the elbows, including the Bionic Elbow for the first fall at 8:27.

After the required rest period, Rhodes wastes no time in knocking him out to the floor for another hard elbow. Back in and a snapmare sets up a missed Bionic Elbow and Patera goes up top, only to be slammed back down. Rhodes puts on a chinlock of his own, with Patera going to the ropes for the break in something you don’t see very often. Patera starts in on the leg and cranks away, with the fans wanting some elbows but commentary pointing out that it won’t make a difference.

Rhodes slips out but gets sent into the buckle to cut him off. The full nelson goes on, with Rhodes immediately running for the ropes in a smart counter. Instead Patera grabs the bearhug and cranks away until they go down for a two count. Rhodes finally gets up and slaps the ears for the escape, only to get bearhugged again, this time for a pin at 18:33. Rhodes gets up after the rest period and chases Patera outside, where he pulls Rhodes outside as well. They slug it out on the floor, where Dillon grabs the leg on the way back in, which is enough for the DQ to give Rhodes the win at 19:56.

Rating: B-. I’ve been overly harsh on Rhodes over the years but you can definitely see the charisma, which was more than enough to make him into such a big star. The action here wasn’t quite as good as the rest of the stuff so far but Rhodes’ charisma was carrying him here. Patera continues to be someone who can be a good villain, with the interference being a nice way to keep him safe in defeat.

From January 9, 1981.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Black Gordman

2/3 falls again and of course this is Chavo Sr. (Classic), whose International Junior Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. They trade standing switches to start until a flying headscissors brings Gordman down. Back up and Gordman gets a full nelson, with Guerrero reversing into one of his own. That’s broken up and Gordman works on the arm for a big before getting taken down by the leg.

Guerrero cranks away before letting up, allowing Gordman to pull him into the same leglock. This one doesn’t last as long so Gordman goes with some shots to the face instead. Guerrero is sent into the corner and seems to slip off what looked to be a crossbody attempt, instead settling for a springboard version and the first fall at 7:04.

After the rest period, Guerrero forearms him into the ropes to start the second fall before winning a slugout. Gordman gets in a cheap shot to take over and grabs what looks to be a nerve hold but is really a choke. The referee holds Gordman back but he manages to get in a shot on Guerrero anyway, as the officiating here leaves something to be desired. A pair of DDTs (Boesch: “That bulldogging headlock.”) and a running backsplash tie it up at 10:48.

The rest period sees the referee yelling at Gordman, who starts the second fall with an STO (that’s a big move for this time). It works so well that Gordman does it again for two before choking with the tape. That wakes Guerrero up and he strikes away in the corner, setting up a monkey flip. Gordman sends him over the top rope though and that’s a DQ to give Guerrero the win at 13:55.

Rating: C+. Weakest match of the set so far and even then it was completely fine. The ending seems to be a way to set up a rematch for the title (which is exactly what happened) but there wasn’t much here that would make me want to see them fight again. Gordman had some stuff that would become more commonplace later, but for 1981, it was insane to see some of this stuff.

From October 24, 1980.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Ivan Koloff

This is an interesting match which happened a bunch around the territories. To spice this up a bit, this is a Texas Death Coffin match, meaning it’s a Texas Deathmatch, which means you have regular falls and rest periods after, but apparently you win by regular coffin/casket match rules. Rhodes and Koloff argue over whether the coffin is in the ring or on the floor, with Rhodes (inside) getting his way.

They take their time to start, with Rhodes promising to lay him in the coffin (which sounds like threatening murder). Koloff seems squeamish of the coffin (because, you know, coffin) and keeps yelling about it while Rhodes dances a bit. Some hard shots in the corner have Rhodes in some trouble but he throws Koloff over the coffin instead. Koloff steps away from the coffin and kicks him down to take over. A middle rope knee (the Sputnik Dive) connects but Rhodes gets a small package for the fall at 4:09.

Koloff is perfectly fine so this was little more than a breather for Rhodes, which makes sense. The USA chants start up and Koloff (a proud Canadian) isn’t happy. Rhodes slugs away with elbows but lowers his head and gets kicked in the face for a fall at 6:17. They’re both back up again and the USA chants are on again, because they went so well for Rhodes last time.

They go outside this time and Koloff gets sent into various things to bust him open. Koloff takes off a boot to knock Rhodes silly, followed by a chair to the head. That’s not enough to put Rhodes (also bleeding) in the coffin so he fights up, only to miss the elbow for two. A piledriver gives Rhodes the pin at 11:26 but he can’t get Koloff into the coffin.

That doesn’t count anyway as it’s during the rest period so once that is out of the way, we can start up again. Rhodes goes for the coffin again but Koloff still isn’t having that. Now it’s Rhodes who won’t go in, but Koloff does drop a knee on him for the fall at 12:28. The rest period ends and Koloff rams him into the side of the coffin, only to miss a knee drop. Rhodes knocks him into the coffin and that’s enough for the win at 14:12.

Rating: C+. This was a bit weird as it felt like they were trying to do two different matches at once. The coffin deal was fine enough but the Texas death match and the falls didn’t add anything, as they just served as ways to give the two of them a breather. It wasn’t a bad match, but it was a bit more complicated than it needed to be.

From June 16, 1978.

Dick Slater vs. Alberto Madril

Another 2/3 falls and Madril is usually known as Al (as he’s listed on the DVD case). Slater walks away from some threats of right hands in the corner and kicks Madril down. Madril’s armbar works a bit better, including taking Slater to the mat to crank away even more. Back up and Slater drives him into the corner, earning a rather big shove. An armdrag sets up another armbar, though this one doesn’t go as well for Madril. Back up and Madril gets two off an O’Connor roll, setting up another armbar. This time Slater stands up and climbs over the ropes, which works for a break.

Slater punches him down and grabs a quickly broken front facelock, with Madril reversing into a hammerlock. That’s broken up as well and Slater hammers away, allowing him to use the hair and pull Madril into an armbar of his own. A knee onto the arm has Madril in more trouble and his comeback is cut off by a shot to the throat. Slater’s Russian legsweep gets two but Madril punches him down for two. Slater forearms him in the back for two more but the piledriver is countered with a backdrop. Madril gives him an atomic drop for a hilarious sell, only to get small packaged for the first fall at 11:32.

The second fall starts and Madril immediately chases him outside, with Slater coming back in and bailing right back to the floor. Back in again and Slater elbows him out to the floor so the beating can begin. The sleeper goes on back inside for two arm drops but Madril fights out and slugs away.

Slater gets tied in the ropes and punched a few times for two, with the fans not liking the speed of the count. Back up and Slater sends him to the floor, only for Madril to come back in for a rollup to tie it up at 18:50. We get what feels like an extended rest period as Madril’s shoulder seems to be hurt. It’s so hurt that the referee stops the match and awards it to Slater at 20:45.

Rating: B-. The ending didn’t help things but there is only so much that can be done if Madril is too banged up to continue. Slater continues to be someone who feels like he could be a star in just about any promotion. He works well and comes off like a heel you want to see lose. That’s a valuable thing to have and it worked here, even with a less than optimal ending.

From April 8, 1977.

Bruiser Brody vs. Dusty Rhodes

2/3 falls again and I believe that’s the right date, as it seems like this might be April 1, especially with a pre-match announcement that Brody will face Fritz Von Erich the following week. They circle each other to start, with Rhodes (who is SLIM here) chasing Brody out to the floor. Back in and Rhodes hammers away, which has Brody bailing to the floor again.

After a lengthy stay outside, Brody comes back in and gets his arm cranked. Brody fights out and takes over on the mat, only for Rhodes to take him into the corner. What looks like a low blow takes too long to set up though and Brody knocks him down again. Some running boots to the head and a knee drop finish Rhodes for the first fall at 6:08.

Rhodes rolls to the floor and sneaks back in to hammer Brody from behind. An elbow to the face sets up the big elbow to tie it up at 7:18. We pause for Brody to get up (those were some BIG elbows) as the rest period is far longer than after the first fall. Rhodes is right on him to hammer away as soon as the bell rings and Brody is sent outside. A dancing Rhodes follows him out but then goes back inside to chill in the corner.

Some elbows to the head rock Brody again but the big elbow misses. Brody knocks him down and claws away at Rhodes’ head on the mat, which is enough to fire up the comeback. That’s cut off again and Brody hammers him down in the corner, followed by some big boots for two. Rhodes is back up for a headbutt and they’re both down, with Rhodes calling on the fans to help him up (and that’s a big part of why Rhodes was a star). Rhodes, powered by the fans, gets up and hammers away, only to get backdropped over the top for the DQ to give Rhodes the third fall and the win at 14:34.

Rating: B-. This was starting to get somewhere with the fans getting behind Rhodes, as they’re supposed to do when a hero is fighting a monster like Brody. The thing that caught my attention here was how well Brody could sell. He was a big guy, but he made Rhodes’ offense look like a superhero by staggering around like that. You could see a lot of Brody in Undertaker’s selling later on and that’s because it works very well.

Post match Brody ties him in the ropes and keeps up the beating, including a bunch of kicks, both running and standing. Rhodes escapes and fires off some elbows to send Brody skedaddling.

From September 19, 1980. This is described as “Surviving Footage” so we’re likely not getting close to the full match.

Bruiser Brody vs. Ivan Koloff

2/3 falls again and we’re joined in progress with Koloff begging off in the corner and Brody hammering away. Brody sends him into the corner and starts kicking away as the fans are WAY behind Brody here. A slam plants Koloff again and they go outside where Koloff is posted rather quickly. Back in and the bleeding Koloff gets in a shot of his own for a knockdown, setting up the top rope knee drop for the second fall to tie it up at 3:07 shown. That would mean we missed about the first eight minutes, assuming the times I can find are accurate.

Koloff hammers away to start the third fall but Brody sends him face first into a boot in the corner to start the comeback. Commentary acknowledges that Koloff isn’t going to win a slugout here, which is exactly what happens. Brody blocks a kick to the ribs and spins him around, setting up a one armed slam.

The slow beating continues, including a neck snap to send Koloff sprawling. They head outside where Brody uses a chair (the referee doesn’t mind) and then get back inside for another slam to drop Koloff again. A fist drop gets two on Koloff but he avoids a charge into the buckle for the big crash. With nothing else working, Koloff grabs a shovel and comes off the top to knock Brody silly for the DQ and the third fall at 9:39 shown.

Rating: C. This was a slower paced brawl with the ending seemingly designed to keep the feud going. Koloff had something with the shovel/burying deal and this was about six weeks before the Coffin Match with Dusty Rhodes. It’s nice to see things tie together like this, as we’re waiting to see someone conquer the heel, which is what we got earlier in the set (which is some weird structuring but oh well).

From August 7, 1981.

Tony Atlas/Tiger Conway Jr. vs. Tank Patton/Colonel Buck Robley

2/3 falls again. Atlas signs a bunch of autographs before the match, only stopping for the introductions. That’s not something you see very often but it works rather well. There are also two referees here for a weird but logical visual. Atlas and Patton start things off but don’t do much of anything before it’s off to Robley. Conway ducks a right hand and fires away on Robley, who goes down in a hurry. Patton gets beaten up as well before Conway starts in on Robley’s arm.

Atlas comes in and Robley panics, apparently worried about getting beaten up even worse. A rather grinding headlock has Robley in more trouble and the dropkick has him down again. Patton comes back in and gets taken down by the dancing Atlas. Conway and Atlas take turns working on Patton’s arm until he manages to send Atlas into Robley’s knee in the corner. Atlas easily powers out of a cover so Robley goes with the bearhug to wear him down.

That’s broken up but Patton is there to cut off the tag attempt. Another bearhug goes on for a bit longer before Patton slams Atlas down. It’s back to Robley for another bearhug and Atlas ax handling his way to freedom still isn’t enough for the tag. Some shots out of the corner are enough to bring in Conway to quickly clean house. Everything breaks down and Patton drops Conway with a clothesline for the first fall at 10:53.

The second fall starts with Patton working over Conway before handing it off to Robley for a knockdown of his own. A piledriver attempt is blocked though and it’s back to Atlas to clean house. Headbutts abound and Atlas bearhugs Robley to even things up a bit from earlier. That’s broken up so it’s back to Conway to clean house again. A flying headbutt finishes Patton at 16:03 and we’re tied up.

Tiger Conway Sr. is at ringside cheering for his son, who takes Patton down by the arm. It’s back to Robley, who gets punched down with some big right hands. Robley comes back with a sleeper as Conway Sr. and Patton argue. It’s back to Patton to slug away, including a knee drop for two. Robley kicks him down again for one, with Conway’s foot getting on the rope. Back up and a kick to the face allows the tag to bring Atlas back in.

House is cleaned in a hurry, with some gorilla presses dropping Robley. Atlas misses a headbutt though and it’s back to Conway for a Boston crab. The kickout sends Conway into the referee though and the brawl goes outside. Robley grabs a chair but Conway takes it away and starts swinging. That’s enough for the referee to throw the third fall out and the match is a draw at 24:55.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but it was working well by the end. It was a match that should have been a bit shorter than it went, but the fans were going nuts for Conway and Atlas. You could see the star power in Atlas no matter what he was doing and I could imagine Robley and Patton being an annoying heel team. That makes for a good pairing, but it only worked out so well, mainly due to the match going long.

Conway and Atlas want to keep going but that’s not going to happen.

From 1966.

Johnny Valentine vs. Bull Curry

2/3 falls and no time limit. Valentine was a huge star and Greg’s father. He’s also the United States Champion but the title isn’t on the line here. Assuming the 1966 date is right, this would put the match at some point from June to August, though that’s assuming quite a few things. Valentine goes after the arm to start but Curry (the crowd favorite) slugs away to bang up Valentine’s ear. Commentary mentions Curry wanting revenge about Valentine hurting Curry’s son so there’s something personal here too.

They go with some grappling and Valentine grabs a front facelock, which is switched into a chinlock to keep up the grinding. Curry fights up and slugs away as the crowd gets back into things. Back up and Curry backs him into the corner, where Valentine manages a shot to send Curry out to the floor. They go back to the apron and Curry is knocked right back down again. Curry tries another slugout, earning a third trip to the floor. Yet another slugout actually goes to Curry, who is quickly rolled up for the pin at 9:46.

After the rest period, Curry wastes no time in punching him into the corner and then doing it again for good measure. The slugout is on again and Valentine is in trouble, mainly due to being busted open. More right hands have Valentine rocked, with maybe the best “no one is home” look I’ve ever seen. Valentine is knocked down and collapses, which is enough for a countout at 13:17. Curry is right there to start slugging away after the rest period and Valentine is in BIG trouble. The referee gets knocked down and the fight goes to the floor where it is thrown/counted out at 15:47.

Rating: B. This was a fight rather than a match and that’s a good way to go. The idea of Curry (known as Wild Bull) being someone who can’t be controlled, especially when someone has done something to his family, fits perfectly and it was working here. The beating that Curry gave him made Valentine look like he was dead on his feet and it was quite the sight to behold. I might have enjoyed this as much as anything on the set so far, which is a nice bar to clear.

Post match Curry keeps up the beating and has to be held back. Curry gets back in the ring and the fans go NUTS.

From November 30, 1979.

American Title: Bruiser Brody vs. The Spoiler

Spoiler is defending in another 2/3 falls match. They fight over a lockup to start and Spoiler’s knees in the corner don’t seem to do much. Brody shrugs that off and knocks Spoiler down before ripping at the face in the corner. The brawl heads outside with Brody hammering away and they grab a chair each. One of the chairs is brought in and Brody cracks him, which is fine with the referee. A slam and the big knee drop give Brody the first fall at 3:20.

Brody wastes no time in going right after him (the rest period is cut out here for some reason) but has to block the Claw attempt. Spoiler snapmares him down but still can’t get the Claw. Eventually it goes on, only for Spoiler to let it go and hit an elbow to the head. Another Claw attempt is blocked so Brody kicks his way out of the corner. Brody misses a charge into the corner though and the Claw goes on again and Brody is pinned to tie it up at 7:14.

After another missing rest period, Spoiler knocks him into the corner and goes up top for an elbow. They go outside and Brody gets posted, only to come back with some big microphone shots to the head. Brody tries to rip the mask off but Spoilers gets in a top rope forearm. A Claw attempt misses though and Brody goes simple with straight choking. Back up and Brody hammers away but Spoiler goes to the throat to take him down. Some elbows to the head set up the Claw for two, even with Spoiler grabbing the rope. Brody finally slams his way to freedom and another knee drop is good for the pin and the title at 14:38.

Rating: B-. It’s nice to save the title change for the end and they were beating each other up rather well. Spoiler continues to be someone worth a look, while you can definitely see Brody’s influence on a lot of modern brawling. Good enough stuff here, even with things going a bit slowly at times.

We get what appears to be the TV closing to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. I had a really good time with this as you could tell that there was a lot going on with the Houston territory. Boesch was one of the better received promoters of his day and it makes sense given how good some of the stars were around here. There is nothing close to bad and the better action featured some very high quality stars. Pretty awesome set here and I could go for seeing a lot more stuff like this, both from Houston and beyond.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Dark Match Collection: Get Ready

Wrestlemania Dark Matches
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Joey Styles, Josh Matthews

So this is pretty much as simple as you can get, with the WWE Vault releasing a collection of matches from before the full Wrestlemania cards begin. These matches are tasked with getting the show going and that can make for some interesting options. Some of these are going to be a lot better than others but they can be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

From Wrestlemania XVIII.

Mr. Perfect/Lance Storm/Test vs. Rikishi/Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty

Albert and Storm start things off and Jacqueline is the referee. A sitout press slam gives Albert two and it’s off to Scotty, who gets taken down with a leg lariat. Test comes in for a hard corner clothesline but Storm misses a middle rope elbow. Rikishi comes in for a Samoan drop on Perfect (who bounces off like a backdrop for a weird look) and Scotty Worms Storm to send him outside. The Albert Bomb (chokebomb) hits Test and it’s a Stinkface to Perfect, who is smart enough to pull up his towel just in time. Said towel gets stuck on Rikishi, who hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:07.

Rating: C. Fast paced match but they didn’t have time to do much. You’re only going to get so much out of six people in just over three minutes but they managed to make it work well enough. If nothing else, points for not having one of the Canadians take the fall, which would have been such a WWF thing to do in Toronto.

Post match the winners and Jacqueline dance.

From Wrestlemania XXIII.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match and Guerrero is the “Cruiserweight of the World” because Lilian Garcia makes a lot of mistakes. To make things even weirder, there is a big curtain over the entrance as the set hasn’t been revealed yet. Helms backs Flair into the corner to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. Carlito comes in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Chavo to come in and get dropped in a hurry. A dropkick sends Chavo outside so Snitsky throws him back inside without much trouble. Back in and Helms takes over with a chinlock on Carlito and it’s back to Chavo as Cole puts over the awesomeness of Detroit.

The slow beating continues as there is very little heat to the whole thing as it’s already running long. Carlito gets in a shot of his own and brings in Flair to chop away. Helms breaks up the Figure Four so Carlito comes in as everything breaks down. Chavo misses the frog splash though and it’s back to Carlito to clean house. Helms gets backdropped onto the lumberjacks and Carlito hits a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo (because OF COURSE the champion had to take the fall) at 6:38.

Rating: C-. The point here was to get Flair in the ring and to have a bunch of people get on the DVD as a lumerback. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match though as they went a lot longer than they should have. It wasn’t an interesting match in the first place and then it went long, which is never a good combination.

From Wrestlemania XXII.

Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Officially this is Raw vs. Smackdown, but it’s also every man for themselves so the logic is kind of contradictory. Cole: “I guess we have to be impartial here.” Tazz: “Why?” Simon Dean tries to tell us to get in shape and is promptly eliminated first. Brawling on the ropes ensues and Conway is out, followed by Funaki. Cade (Cole: “Who’s that?”) is out and Richards takes too much time posing, meaning he’s eliminated as well.

There goes Striker (thankfully) and Regal gets hit with Shattered Dreams. Murdoch dumps Eugene as the ring is thankfully clearing out a bit. Psicosis gets rid of Goldust in an upset and Eugene stops for a reunion with Regal. Snitsky isn’t having the risk of that being his fault so he tosses Regal without much effort. MNM hits a Snapshot on Eugene to get rid of him as well and we settle down to the final four from each show getting into a staredown. Psicosis gets rid of Murdoch and then gets knocked out by Tomko to get us down to six.

Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal and Viscera crushes MNM in various corners. MNM fight back (the Melina screams might be powering them on) and avoid a Viscera charge, only to make the mistake of trying a Snapshot. The double Visagra (if you don’t know, don’t ask) has Melina cringing before MNM is out. Snitsky accidentally knocks Tomko out and it’s Animal left with Viscera and Snitsky, as I’ll let you guess who the Chicago fans are behind. For some reason Animal is eliminated and Snitsky misses a charge so Viscera wins at 9:03 without touching him.

Rating: D+. Why would you put Animal this close to getting the win in a meaningless battle royal on the pre-show and then have him lose for the sake of Snitsky and Viscera? This was the second time I’ve seen this match in about a month and it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Maybe Viscera couldn’t take a bump over the top, but egads this seemed like it could have been a fun moment and it wound up just being forgettable.

From Wrestlemania XXV.

Tag Team Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Colons

This is a lumberjack match to unify both sets of Tag Team Titles, with commentary saying this kind of match has NEVER happened before, about ten minutes after we saw it in the same collection. Primo and Morrison start things off with Primo getting in a headstand in the corner, setting up a hurricanrana to send Morrison outside. The beating lets Primo get two and it’s Carlito coming in for a double slingshot drop. Carlito misses a shot of his own though and it’s off to Miz for his Wrestlemania in-ring debut.

This goes as badly as you would expect, with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a double springboard flip dive. Morrison grabs Carlito by the hair though and throws him outside, nearly triggering a brawl with the lumberjacks. Back in and Carlito gets caught in a double hot shot for two and Miz grabs a chinlock. Carlito fights up for a double knockdown and does it again with Morrison, which is enough to bring Primo back in to clean house.

Some flips set up a dropkick (as Miz might not have been in position in time) but Morrison is right back in with the Flying Chuck for two. Everything breaks down and Carlito spears Miz through the ropes, leaving Morrison to roll through Primo’s high crossbody for two more. Morrison tries a reverse suplex but Primo flips over into a Backstabber in a sweet counter for the pin and the titles at 8:22.

Rating: B-. This was a more traditional match as the lumberjacks were barely a factor. The Colons winning was a nice way to go as it’s a bit of a surprise and a fun surprise to start the night. If nothing else, the finish was more than good enough to make for a big ending. Good stuff here, and one of the better pre-show matches to date.

From Wrestlemania XXIV.

Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

For an ECW Title shot on the main card. It’s a brawl to start and Deuce and Domino are both out in a hurry. Khali chops away at some people as Tazz recommends hiding in the corner. There goes Duggan and Burke knocks out Richards, only to get tossed by Kane. It’s time for the required Kane vs. Khali fight before Miz is eliminated. Henry dumps out Yang and Moore and Jesse follows them both. There goes Murdoch and Festus is out, followed by Kendrick in a big crash.

Henry easily throws Kingston out and Palumbo tosses Noble…who lands on Kingston and climbs back inside (so THAT’S where Kingston learned it). Then he’s tossed out again. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali and Snitsky gets rid of Holly. We’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, with the fans getting WAY into this. Snitsky spends too much time glaring and gets knocked out by Henry, leaving us with two. Henry’s gorilla press is broken up and Kane kicks him out for the win and the title shot (he would win the title in about ten seconds) at 6:22.

Rating: C. The important thing here is they kept it moving rather than waiting around for a long time. These things are only going to have a small handful of realistic winners so clearing them out that fast is a good way to go. ECW needed some bigger stars and Kane certainly fits the bill so this was a nice cross between smart and efficient.

From Wrestlemania XXIX.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Miz is challenging and kicks away in the corner, only to get hit in the face to cut that off. Barrett hammers away, shouts about Miz’s lack of awesomeness, but can’t hit the Wasteland. Miz can’t get the Skull Crushing Finale either though and Barrett is back with a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The Bull Hammer misses though and Miz gets the Figure Four, giving us a reminder that Ric Flair gave the hold to the Miz. In case you hadn’t praised Flair enough recently you see. Barrett makes the rope and hits the Wasteland for two, only to get caught in the Figure Four for the tap and the title at 4:08.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here, but at least we got a nice tribute to Ric Flair, who has absolutely nothing to do with this match. The match was just there for the sake of a moment to fire the fans up to start, as Miz would lose the title back to Barrett the next night. I like the idea of a Miz face run, but it wasn’t exactly working here, with the Figure Four not helping things.

From Wrestlemania XXVI.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

The NXT rookies come out to watch from the stage and more than a few of them would go on to be bigger than a lot of the people int his match. Primo and J are both out in a hurry as there are too many people in there to be able to focus. Henry tosses Beretta and Croft, followed by Chavo. Khali chops Henry out and then a bunch of people get together to toss him out. Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows and then Shad tosses JTG in a funny moment. We slow way down until Masters, Kidd, Smith and Kozlov are thrown out in a row.

Funaki, Goldust, Regal, Gaspard and Regal all go out in a hurry and Santino Hulks Up, meaning it’s a sting of Cobras. Finlay cuts that off and tosses him out, followed by Yang and Archer going out as well. Hornswoggle comes in and helps Finlay hit various people with the shillelagh before Carlito is tossed. We’re down to Finlay, Knox, Ryder and Tatsu, with Ryder eliminating Knox and Finlay at once. Tatsu clotheslines Ryder to the apron and then kicks him out for the win at 8:31.

Rating: C. Nothing to the match, as you probably expected, but Tatsu is the kind of fun guy that you want winning something like this. If you don’t have someone local to win the match, let someone young and energetic like Tatsu take it instead. It didn’t exactly lead anywhere for him, but it also didn’t hurt anyone so go with something entertaining.

Sidenote: Tatsu’s music was so freaking catchy!

From Wrestlemania XIX.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Morley/Storm are defending and have the Dudley Boyz in their corner, albeit the Dudleys are not here voluntarily. It’s a brawl to start with Kane and Van Dam clearing the ring without much trouble. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take the champs out and we take a break.

Back with Morley grabbing a chinlock on Van Dam before missing a middle rope elbow. Kane comes in to clean house, including the side slam and top rope clothesline to Storm. Van Dam kicks Morley down and the chokeslam plants Storm. The Five Star is broken up but the Dudleys give Storm a 3D…and deck Van Dam to give Storm the pin at 5:41.

Rating: C+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw and, believe it or not, Kane and Van Dam won the titles the next night in a three way match. Kane and Van Dam worked well together and it makes sense to see them getting in a spot like this. Nice match, albeit with an ending that could have been a lot happier given what was happening the next day.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird thing to see as the matches aren’t supposed to be show stealers or anything close. They’re designed to be there for the sake of getting the crowd warm without spending a lot of time or burning through a big match. The battle royals were fun enough and that’s all this was supposed to be. It’s nothing mind blowing and nothing that hasn’t been seen before, but I’ve seen far worse historic flashbacks.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 27, 2025: He Keeps Showing Off

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2025
Location: El Paso County Coliseum, El Paso, Texas
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are coming up on Unbreakable and that show has some open spots on the card. World Champion Joe Hendry doesn’t seem to have an obvious challenger for the title, with Elijah being one of the only people in his orbit at the moment. Other than that, we seem to be on the way to a Hardys vs. Nemeths showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Tatum Paxley/Gigi Dolin vs. Ash By Elegance/Heather By Elegance

Non-title and the Personal Concierge is here with By Elegance. Dolin takes Ash down without much trouble to start and it’s Paxley coming in for something like a Dream Sequence. Meta Four is watching from behind as Paxley gets the reverse surfboard on Heather. The Concierge breaks up a dropkick though and Ash stomps away, both on the ropes and in the corner. That’s broken up and Paxley comes back in to clean house. The Concierge shoves Paxley off the top though and Rarefied Air finishes at 4:58.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time to go anywhere and it didn’t exactly make Paxley and Dolin feel like the biggest team. By Elegance did need a win though as they aren’t the most established team in the world. Meta Four might be the ones to get the titles from them, as some titles have to cross over to another promotion at some point.

Post match, By Elegance’s cake is brought out but a double noggin knocker lets Dolin and Paxley send Ash into it.

Leon Slater promises a fight with Nic Nemeth tonight.

Ash By Elegance panics over the cake.

First Class/Frankie Kazarian vs. Aztec Warriors/Chavo Guerrero

Chavo and Kazarian start things off with Chavo grabbing a headscissors. Navarro comes in and gets dropkicked down before it’s off to Laredo Kid for an even harder dropkick. We take a break and come back with Octagon Jr. kicking Navarro down, only to be sent outside. Navarro’s big running flip dive connects and it’s Francis coming in for a change.

Octagon’s forearms don’t do much good as Francis crushes him in the corner and bends the neck around the rope. Francis plants both Warriors with the World’s Strongest Wasteland and it’s Navarro coming back in for a chinlock on Octagon. That’s broken up as well and it’s back to Laredo to pick up the pace. The real hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house and we get Four Amigos before Francis gets the traditional Three. The Warriors hit nice dives to the floor and Chavo adds a Gory Bomb into the frog splash to pin Navarro at 15:08.

Rating: B-. Chavo looked a good bit better than I was expecting here and he more than held his own rather than just being there as the hometown star. The Warriors are the latest lucha tag team and that’s not a bad way for them to be used. I’m not sure what kind of a future it has, but this was a good showing from everyone. That being said, Kazarian being in there was kind of a weird call as he should be near the World Title sooner than later.

Rosemary is all evil and wants Xia Brookside to be evil too. I think.

Santino Marella has a sitdown with Mance Warner, with Steph de Lander, and Sami Callihan. They argue over their recent issues, with Callihan saying Marella is going to have to fire one of them. Callihan insults Steph, who throws a drink in his face, which is a bit more impactful than you might expect.

Jacy Jayne vs. Masha Slamovich

Non-title. They fight over a lockup and go against the ropes to start until Jayne pulls her down by the hair. Back up and Slamovich sends her to the floor for a corkscrew dive. They get back in but Jayne is smart enough to roll away from something off the top. Jayne knocks her down back inside and hammers away in the corner, setting up a running shot for two.

A knee to the face and some right hands have Slamovich down again and we hit the reverse chinlock. That’s broken up and Slamovich hits a rolling kick to the head but Jayne knees her down for two more. More kicks to the head send Slamovich outside, where she drops Jayne face first onto the apron. Back in and Jayne superkicks her into a running neckbreaker, only for Slamovich to grab the Snowplow for the pin at 8:43.

Rating: B-. Jayne was trying here and those kicks got her further along than I was expecting. Slamovich certainly didn’t squash her, but there wasn’t much doubt about this one. Tessa Blanchard is waiting for Slamovich and that is going to be a heck of a showdown for the title when we get there.

Post match Tessa Blanchard runs in and beats Slamovich down. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Lee make the save.

Video on Mike Santana vs. Mustafa Ali, with Ali cheating to escape multiple times.

Eric Young vs. Ace Austin

The Northern Armory is here with Young. An early arm crank has Austin down so Young turns his back and the Armory comes in. That’s broken up so Austin takes Young down and kicks him in the head. They strike it out until Young grabs a spinebuster for two. The neck crank goes on but Austin fights up and hits a Russian legsweep.

A springboard spinning kick to the face gives Austin two but Young knocks him off the top. The top rope elbow gives Young two but Austin is right back up. The Fold is loaded up, only for Austin to have to go after the Armory. Young uses the distraction to grab a piledriver for the pin at 7:12.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match here with Austin getting in some offense before the numbers game got the best of him. Austin is going to need some help if the feud continues and the Rascalz would seem to be a good choice for the spot. Young winning again isn’t a surprise, but hopefully he doesn’t go much further up the card.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. Hendry is glad to be back in Texas and now he’s willing to defend the title against anyone from any company. Cue Elijah, who makes it clear that he is not the next challenger. Actually he’s here for a song, which is about how the two of them are friends. Cue Frankie Kazarian with his own (bass) guitar, saying it’s time for his own concert. We get a few notes but the fans think he sucks. Kazarian’s song is about how much he hates El Paso so Hendry issues some threats of violence. That’s enough for Kazarian to leave, complete with the Goodbye Song.

Nic Nemeth vs. Leon Slater

Ryan Nemeth is here with his brother. Nic wastes no time in wrestling him down and getting in a little hip gyration. Back up and Slater knocks him down, which earns an eye rake over the ropes. A handspring elbow sends Nic outside, setting up the big running flip dive as we take a break. Back with Nic raking the eyes and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Slater hits a running boot to the face into a suplex for two.

Back up and Slater slams him down for two but the Fameasser gives Nic the same. Nic’s sleeper is broken up so he takes Slater up top. Slater knocks him away but gets crotched, setting up a superplex to bring Slater crashing down. A quick Twist Of Slate looks to set up the Swanton 450 but Nic blocks it and gets two off a rollup. The Danger Zone is blocked as well but Ryan grabs Slater’s foot. A superkick into the Danger Zone finishes Slater at 15:06.

Rating: B-. Another solid performance from Slater here as he is getting more and more established in the main event scene. He’s not all the way ready for that kind of a spot yet, but he’s also managing to hang in there against bigger and more experienced opponents. Losing to Nic isn’t a big shot against him and they had a good match on the way there.

Post match the Nemeths go after Slater but the Hardys return for the save. Matt issues the challenge for Rebellion to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what to think of this one, but it did keep me invested for the most part. You can see things coming together for Unbreakable and probably even Rebellion, so at least the things are going in the right direction. Other than that, we had some nice enough matches, with Slater again doing well for himself in a big spot.

Results
Ash By Elegance/Heather By Elegance b. Gigi Dolin/Tatum Paxley – Rarefied Air to Paxley
Aztec Warriors/Chavo Guerrero b. First Class/Frankie Kazarian – Frog splash to Navarro
Masha Slamovich b. Jacy Jayne – Snowplow
Eric Young b. Ace Austin – Piledriver
Nic Nemeth b. Leon Slater – Danger Zone

 

 

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Smackdown – August 8, 2008: He’s Doing It Himself

Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We are just over a week away from Summerslam and Edge is hopefully getting back on track. That is something he has been needing for a bit and it might have happened last week. In another thing that needs to pick up the pace, we have HHH vs. Great Khali for the former’s World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Edge snapping on Mick Foley last week.

Opening sequence.

Tazz is filling in for the injured Mick Foley. Commentary runs down the card.

Maryse/Natalya/Victoria vs. Maria/Michelle McCool/Cherry

They’re all in various Olympic sports attire, though Maria picks skiing for the summer games. McCool (volleyball) and Natalya (equestrian) start things off with McCool gabbing a Russian legsweep. A middle rope wristdrag takes Natalya down but Maria tags herself in for a double shoulder. Natalya sends Maria outside but Cherry (boxing) comes in with a double arm DDT. It’s off to Victoria for the Widow’s Peak, only for McCool to kick her in the face. Everything breaks down and Natalya Sharpshooters Maria for the fast win. This was a mini theme match and you can pretty easily get the reason why.

Bam Neely has been attacked and there is a black rose near him.

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title. Hawkins headlocks Yang to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. Back up and Hawkins fights out of the corner and hits a reverse clothesline, allowing Ryder to come in for a swinging neckbreaker. Hawkins comes in off a blind tag and breaks up a sunset flip, setting up a suplex for two on Yang. We hit the reverse chinlock but Yang slips out and hands it back to Moore to clean house. A high crossbody gets two on Ryder but the referee has to get rid of Yang, allowing a double inverted DDT to finish Moore.

Rating: C+. I’ve long since thought Yang and Moore could have been a bigger deal in the tag division as it isn’t like there was much competition. They had a nice match here and it made for a good use of a few minutes. If nothing else, it made the champions look good, which is always a nice move.

MVP wants to face Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. We see a clip of MVP costing Jeff Hardy a match against Edge on Saturday Night’s Main Event, but where is the footage of Hardy attacking MVP? Hardy is a product of his own actions.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Benjamin takes him down without much trouble and grabs an early chinlock. Hardy fights up and it’s an armdrag into an armbar as they already see to be filling time. That’s broken up and Benjamin stomps away in the corner before going back to the chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Hardy fights up and hits the mule kick out to the floor, where the slingshot dive connects. Back in and a quick Swanton attempt misses to give Benjamin two and we take a break.

We come back with Benjamin grabbing another chinlock, though at least his legs are facing another way to make it different. Back up and Hardy tries the Whisper In The Wind, only to get dropped hard onto the ropes for two. Benjamin starts in on the leg as Tazz talks about fatigue setting in. From what? Excessive chinlock usage? Benjamin starts cranking on the leg, including a half crab for a change.

That’s broken up so Benjamin puts it on again as we’re seeing quite the repetitive theme emerging. Hardy escapes again and they go outside, where Benjamin gets kicked out of the air. Back in and the Whisper In The Wind connects, only for Benjamin to reverse the slingshot dropkick into a powerslam for two. Paydirt is countered into the Twist Of Fate and Hardy hits the Swanton…but gets kicked in the face by MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This got going near the end but they easily could have cut off about five minutes o the chinlocks and leg cranking. The latter wouldn’t have made much of a difference as Hardy’s leg looked fine when he was making his comeback. This wasn’t quite as bad as some of the recent dull matches, but it was definitely following a similar formula.

La Familia can’t find Zack Ryder and something might have happened to him.

And now, arm wrestling between HHH and Great Khali, with broken glass on the table for whichever hand goes down. Before we get going, Khali says something, which HHH says is a good point, even though he has no idea what Khali said. Runjin Singh says Khali told him to get out while he can because this is a different kind of challenge. HHH tells Singh to find a lamp to rub to put Khali back inside.

The reality is Khali has never been in the ring with someone like HHH, who is actually going to tell Khali his plans in advance. HHH is going to break Khali’s legs and there is nothing Singh or the jolly genie can do about it. With that out of the way, we’re ready to go and believe it or not, HHH is about to win when Khali attacks him. The head vice leaves HHH laying and commentary isn’t sure how he is going to survive at Summerslam. This was every step you would have expected, probably right down to the genie jokes.

Curt Hawkins has been attacked and there is another black rose.

We get another R-Truth video, talking about where he came from and showing him playing basketball with his friends. If you want to play the game, you have to get into it, and that is the truth.

Chavo Guerrero thinks he and Vickie Guerrero need Edge’s help to deal with this so he’s off to find him.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse

Jesse, with Festus, is the better competition that Kozlov requested. The bell rings so Kozlov bails from the crazed Festus before kicking Jesse down to take over. Headbutts and a suplex have Jesse in trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Kozlov then headbutts him out of the air for the pin.

Raw Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Chavo Guerrero found Edge and he is willing to help with Undertaker’s attacks, but Vickie Guerrero has to be civil.

Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Kendrick brags about his power and introduces his bodyguard, Ezekiel Jackson (now with a last name). Kendrick knocks him into the corner to start and a dropkick puts Crazy down again. Back up and Crazy misses a charge into the corner so another dropkick can connect for two.

The camel clutch goes on as Tazz makes insect comparisons. Kendrick kicks him down again and grabs something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as Tazz wonders why Crazy, a Smackdown wrestler, is wearing an ECW shirt. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Kendrick down and a standing moonsault gets two. Jackson offers a distraction though, allowing Kendrick to hit the Kendrick for the pin.

Rating: C. Crazy was starting to fight back when he got cut off through the pretty stereotypical means. Kendrick continues to look and feel different while making me want to se more of what he’s doing. That’s a great sign and it was another fine performance, even if it didn’t have much time.

Post match Jackson torture racks Crazy.

Edge comes in to see the Guerreros and says he and Vickie can get by this. As the head of the family, Edge has a plan but it has to be his way. Vickie agrees so they head to the ring, where, after a break, Edge calls Undertaker out and even demands he use the powers. Edge then grabs a chair and cracks Chavo in the back, setting up a Conchairto. Edge turns Vickie’s wheelchair over and says he is who Vickie needs to worry about. Undertaker needs to worry about Edge taking him to h***, but he’s taking La Familia with him. Especially Vickie. Nice little twist there as Edge continues to be built back up before Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case lately, the wrestling wasn’t great but the other stuff didn’t bail it out here. The arm wrestling stuff went on forever and while the Edge surprise as the end was nice, it only got them so far. They need to get to Summerslam now, but they also need something better than HHH vs. Khali as a secondary match. Not the worst show, but Edge continues to carry this thing on his back.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – August 5, 2008: The XFL Veteran And The Boat Captain

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 5, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

I refuse to believe that this show could be less interesting than last week’s, but I also have a tendency to be very wrong about this kind of thing. Last week’s show featured a grand total of nothing interesting and bad matches, but hopefully they can do anything better here. Then again they probably won’t. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Striker is replacing Tazz for this week on commentary. Oh yeah it’s already getting worse.

Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne/Ricky Ortiz

Ortiz knocks Neely into the corner to start as commentary goes over the history of wrestling in Robinsdale, Minnesota, Neely’s hometown. Ortiz cranks on Neely’s arm and Bourne comes in for a shot to the same arm. It’s off to Chavo, who gets taken down with a running hurricanrana. A middle rope shoulder gives Ortiz two on Chavo as Striker talks up Ortiz’s time in the XFL.

Neely gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to send Ortiz into the corner (thankfully not messing up his large hair). Chavo comes back in for a chinlock but Ortiz fights up without much trouble and hands it back to Bourne. Everything breaks down and Bourne rolls Neely up for the pin.

Rating: C. Bourne is a good high flier, Chavo is fine as a midcard villain and there are worse bodyguards than Neely. That leaves Ortiz and sweet goodness he is somehow getting less interesting. Other than a unique look, there is absolutely nothing that stands out about him and thankfully the attention was on Bourne here, which did help a bit. Ortiz isn’t the next thing though and hopefully WWE figures that out fast.

Here is Mike Knox, who isn’t going to explain why he attacked Finlay last week. Instead, he’s here to show why Finlay is a fraud. We get a clip of Finlay dancing around with Hornswoggle, which Knox calls a joke. The idea of Finlay being the man who loves to fight makes Knox laugh but here are Finlay and Hornswoggle to interrupt. Finlay says that was a funny clip but it’s just the tip of the iceberg “Fred”. He doesn’t really care what Knox’s name is because if Knox has a problem with them, take a shot. Finlay tells Knox to take his shot, but Knox better knock him out. Knox walks off instead.

Raw Rebound.

Armando Estrada vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is Estrada’s final chance to earn a contract. Dreamer grabs a headlock to start before armdragging him into an armbar. Back up and a running clothesline sends Estrada to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Colin Delaney for a distraction though, allowing Estrada to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post break, Delaney congratulates Estrada, who has no idea why Delaney helped him. It’s because Estrada gave him a chance, but here is Teddy Long to make Delaney vs. Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match next week.

Smackdown Rebound. A one hour show should really not need two lengthy recaps.

Summerslam rundown.

Braden Walker vs. James Curtis

They fight over wrist control to start until Walker’s suplex gets two. Commentary talks about Curtis being a boating captain as they try to come up with anything interesting here. Curtis gets in a shot of his own but Walker is back with an atomic drop into a clothesline. A jumping clothesline puts Curtis down, only to have him knock Walker into the corner. Walker hits another clothesline (even commentary points out that he likes that move) and grabs a fisherman’s suplex for the pin. This was really dull, with Walker never getting out of first gear and doing absolutely nothing that made him feel interesting in the slightest.

It’s time for the TV debut of the Dirt Sheet, Miz and John Morrison’s talk show. Morrison says he was offered $15 million for photos of himself as a baby but he turned People Magazine down because he isn’t for sale. With that out of the way, it’s time for our guest: Mark Henry. This means a picture of Henry on the Titantron with his mouth making grunting noises.

Tony Atlas (again, a picture) pops up to say something odd about money. Henry talks about his love of eating, which Morrison says makes you fat. Morrison: “Mark, I think you might have a gland problem.” None of the Divas would find Henry attractive, so here is a picture of Lena Yada to agree, along with blowing Miz kisses. Morrison shows off his abs but here are the real Henry and Atlas to interrupt.

Atlas is sure there has been some kind of a mistake because they did not come here to be disrespected. Miz and Morrison back off, with Morrison praising Henry’s abs. If they were going to disrespect anyone, it would be their next guest: Matt Hardy (or a picture thereof). Matt doesn’t know what it’s like to be champion because he’s never been #1 at anything.

Cue the real Matt to call out the Conan O’Brien style comedy and make a Brokeback Mountain joke. They had wondered how Matt became the #1 contender, which Matt says was by beating them. Like the slogan of their show says: be jealous. Matt promises to win the ECW Title but gets in a fight with Miz and Morrison. That includes Morrison accidentally hitting Henry, leaving Miz and Morrison to get wrecked to end the show. Miz and Morrison are amusing, but it might take some time for this stuff to really catch on.

Overall Rating: C-. Somehow, Finlay and Knox might be the most entertaining part of the show, which says a lot. There is just not much to this show and people like Ortiz, Delaney and maybe Estrada aren’t helping. A lot of the show feels it is just there to fill in time, which is hard to fathom on an hour long episode. It’s hard to imagine that there is no one else that could be sent to this show to spice it up a bit, but there is nothing to indicate that they will be showing up anytime soon.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 1, 2008: He Has A Plan

Smackdown
Date: August 1, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mick Foley, Jim Ross

Things have gotten more interesting around here as Vickie Guerrero seems to be rather vengeful after Edge cheated on her. As a result, Edge is now set for a Hell In A Cell match against the Undertaker at Summerslam, which cannot end well for him. Other than that, HHH is set to defend the World Title against the Great Khali. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge apologizing to Vickie Guerrero but getting sent to the Cell anyway.

Opening sequence.

Here is Jeff Hardy to watch the first match as we’re told that he is facing Edge at Saturday Night’s Main Event. This is noteworthy as other than the Jenny McCarthy stuff, the show has not been mentioned in the slightest.

MVP vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

MVP comes out first and is announced as “coming to the ring to face Jimmy Wang Yang”, which isn’t something you often hear. Before the match, MVP mocks Hardy for never being WWE Champion because of his risky behavior. MVP wastes no time in knocking Yang down and then faceplants him without much trouble. The double underhook crank goes on, allowing MVP to yell at Hardy a bit more. Yang fights up and strikes away, including a running spinwheel kick in the corner. MVP is right back with a gutbuster though and the Drive By finishes.

Post match Hardy gets in the ring and tells MVP to never mention his family or dog again. The ensuing brawl goes to Hardy.

Chavo Guerrero isn’t sure who the surprise guest on the Cutting Edge is tonight but he and Vickie Guerrero run into Alicia Fox. JR: “What is the wedding planner still doing here?”

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. The bell rings and Kennedy gets in another name shout, as is his custom. Benjamin takes him down but gets chased to the floor for a bit of a surprised reaction. Back in and Kennedy starts in on the arm but Benjamin drives him into the corner to break that up. Kennedy gets in a knee to put Benjamin down and goes back to the arm. The armbar keeps Benjamin down before Kennedy kicks him in the face. Back up and Kennedy misses a charge into the post though and we take a break.

We come back with Benjamin working on the arm for a change as they’re not exactly going at a high gear so far. A shoulderbreaker gives Benjamin two and the ensuing arm stomping has the fans a bit restless. Benjamin wraps his legs around the arm (at least he’s mixing it up) before switching to a cross armbreaker.

The cranking continues until Kennedy finally reverses into something close to a Sharpshooter, sending Benjamin over to the rope. Kennedy fights back but Benjamin jumps to the top for a spinning crossbody for two in one of those insane athletic displays of his. Kennedy can’t quite get a backslide but he can kick Benjamin in the face and hit the Mic Check for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t know what’s going on with WWE’s matches this week but they have felt incredibly lazy and slow paced. It’s been a lot of laying around in holds without much action in between. That doesn’t feel like what WWE usually does but it’s really not working. The talent is there, but it doesn’t matter if they aren’t going to use it.

Post match Benjamin says he won’t make excuses….but he has bronchitis.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins, who haven’t seen Edge. Their discussion of wrestling figures continues.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Stevie Richards

Ezekiel is here with Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick talks about how smart he is and goes over his history in WWE, which was all a ruse to get here. If you have any problem with that, take it up with Ezekiel. Kendrick takes him down to start and cranks on the neck with something like a camel clutch dragon sleeper. Since that can’t last long, Kendrick hits a middle rope dropkick to the back for two, setting up a Boston crab.

With that broken up, Kendrick settles for kicking Richards back down and then standing on his head. Er, Richards’ head if that isn’t clear. Richards gets fired up and fights back, hitting his own kick for two. A nice Sky High gets two on Kendrick and Richards sends him outside, where Ezekiel cuts off the crash. Back in and a quick shot lets Kendrick hit the Kendrick for the win.

Rating: C. Richards’ comeback was nice here but it’s nice to see Kendrick getting to keep building himself up. He’s different enough kind of star and I’ve been digging the start of his run around here. Richards is a good choice to put someone over and make them look good, thankfully which didn’t take long to make happen.

Post match Ezekiel puts Richards in a torture rack for good measure.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy realizes this isn’t going to be easy but shoves Khali anyway. Some right hands and a clothesline stagger Khali a bit but he takes Hardy down with a clothesline of his own. Hardy get knocked into the corner and slowly beaten down, as you might have seen coming. A hard slam puts Hardy down again so Khali does it a second time.

The big elbows in the corner rock Hardy again and Khali knocks him outside to cut off a comeback attempt. We take a break and come back with Khali putting on a nerve hold to keep Hardy in trouble. Hardy fights up again and manages a Whisper in the Wind for the big knockdown. The Swanton connects but Hardy has to take out an invading MVP, allowing Khali to grab the vice for the win.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from such a match, as Khali going ten minutes is only going to go so well. Khali’s reputation for being terrible isn’t exactly fair, as he is more than capable of having a passable match. That’s what we got here, as Hardy was fighting from underneath the whole way with a few nice hope spots. It wasn’t terrible by any means, which is getting close to Khali’s peak.

We get another R-Truth video, this time talking about how poor decisions landed him in prison. Someone told him everything to do and when to do it but then he became a free man. Now he’s determined to never let that happen again because he is in control. These have been very good so far and make R-Truth seem rather interesting.

Maria vs. Victoria

Victoria easily takes her down to start and grabs a front facelock. Back up and Victoria mocks the Kiss Cam, setting up the spinning fireman’s carry side slam for two. A headscissors gets Maria out of trouble but Victoria plants her right back down for two. We hit the seated full nelson for a bit before Maria is back up with a sunset flip for two of her own. Maria kicks her way out of the corner and hits a middle rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. Maria feels like the Smackdown version of Kelly Kelly, as WWE seems like they want to push her based on her looks and charisma. That makes sense, but the in-ring stuff just isn’t quite there. Maybe it could change for her as she is still mostly new in the ring, but it’s easy to see why she’ll get chance after chance. The fact that the fans like her a lot is only going to make it easier too.

Edge is in a confined space with Alicia Fox, apparently having invited her. He got her the ticket to the show because she’ll want to see his special guest.

Video on HHH.

Summerslam rundown.

Big Show vs. Domino

Domino tries a waistlock to start and is quickly knocked outside. Back in and some chops set up the chokeslam to finish Domino quick.

Post match Umaga comes out for the staredown with Show.

Chavo Guerrero and Vickie Guerrero don’t know who the special guest on the Cutting Edge is going to be. Didn’t we already establish that?

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge, complete with a table, a ladder and a chair. He’s rather worried as he sits down to talk about his recent search for inner peace. His marriage is going through a rough patch, but in just over two weeks, he’ll be locked in a Cell with the Undertaker.

We pause for the UNDERTAKER chant before Edge talks about all the footage he’s seen of the destruction Undertaker can cause. That is why he has surrounded himself with tables, ladders and chairs, because he knows them so well and they helped him vanquish Undertaker in the first place. He has found the one person who can help him against the Undertaker the most: MICK FOLEY!

This seems to take Foley by surprise but he eventually gets in the ring. Edge understands that they have history but he is a changed man. What he wants is Foley to remember what he used to be, so we get a video on 1998, including a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with Foley.

Eventually we get to the Cell match with Foley and Undertaker, which has Foley smiling a bit. Edge knows Foley is still feeling that match but he walked away on his own. Since then, Edge has seen Foley try and fail to walk properly. Now Foley has the chance to help Edge get back at the Undertaker. Foley talks about how much he would love to help Edge, but the one thing he has going for him is his word.

For years, Foley has praised Edge both on the microphone and on the written page. Unless fans have a really long memory, they think Edge sucks. They have been looking at an Edge who takes shortcuts and plays the numbers game while relying on his wife. Foley cannot help Edge, because only Edge can help himself. He needs to find the Edge who made Foley believe in him.

Where is the Edge who made the letters TLC mean something? Just two years ago, they had the greatest hardcore match in Wrestlemania history. If Edge can find that Edge, Foley and JR can call the greatest match WWE has ever seen. But if it’s the Edge we’ve been seeing, the one who wears a white tuxedo and uses a loofah, Undertaker will massacre him. Edge understands and then decks Foley with the microphone but Foley fights back.

They go outside with Foley finding a chair but Edge kicks it back into his face. The spear sends Foley head first into the steps, allowing Edge to load up the table back inside. A quick Mandible Claw is broken up by a low blow and Edge puts him on the table. The big chair shots off the ladder through the table leaves Foley broken to end the show.

They took their sweet time to get there, but as usual, Foley can bring the goods when you ask him to get serious and emotional. They had to do this kind of a change for Edge, because Foley was right when he said we hadn’t seen the really good one for a long time. It’s the kind of beatdown you need, though I do continue to wonder why anyone would want Foley’s advice on a Cell match when he never actually won any of them.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was almost all about Edge, with only MVP/Jeff Hardy being something noteworthy otherwise. They’re betting heavily on that one match and I’m not sure it’s enough for two hours, especially with Undertaker not being around. Throw in HHH not being here other than for a staredown last week and Edge is carrying this show on his back. He can make that work if everything goes right, but there isn’t enough going on to make this show good. The Edge stuff was good, but they need something else and HHH is going to have to be back to make that work.

 

 

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ECW On Sci-Fi – July 29, 2008: This Was Really Bad

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 29, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz

We have a new broadcast team this week after Mike Adamle was named General Manager of Raw for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. The big story here is that Matt Hardy is the new #1 contender to the ECW Title, but unfortunately that’s about the only story of note on this show. Maybe they can get something else set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Matt Hardy winning a four way last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Tazz introduces Todd Grisham to the broadcast team.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat. He was excited to be drafted to ECW about a month ago because it felt like a perfect fit, given his history of going to the extreme. Now he has a huge opportunity because he could be ECW Champion…and here is Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas, to interrupt. Atlas talks about how Henry was drafted to ECW as well and now he is the ECW Champion.

But what has Hardy done since he was drafted here? Lose the US Title! For now though, we’ll settle for a demonstration, with Henry bending a steel bar, just like he’ll do to Hardy at Summerslam. Hardy says it’s a wrestling match at Summerslam and unlike the bar, he can fight back. Henry can break his bones but he cannot break his spirit, which is why Hardy will win the ECW Title. This was basically Henry saying he’ll win, Henry showing off his power, and Hardy not caring. I’m going to need more than that.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. They take their time to start until Ortiz powers him down without much effort. A gorilla press plants Guerrero again but he manages to kick Ortiz into the ropes for a needed breather. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on, followed by a front facelock to keep Ortiz in trouble. Ortiz fights up but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Guerrero grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Neely helping…but the referee catches them for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was maybe a bit better than Ortiz’s debut but there is nothing here that makes him stand out in any way. He’s the same generic wrestler with a good set of muscles and a lot of hair, but that’s about it. ECW needs some fresh stars, but this hasn’t exactly made me interested in anything Ortiz is doing.

Post match the beatdown is on until Evan Bourne runs in to…well get a cheap shot on Guerrero and Neely, who chases him off. Ortiz is still down in the ring so Bourne didn’t really accomplish much there.

Colin Delaney comes in to see Mark Henry and Tony Atlas, asking why they left him last week. Atlas says Delaney needs to prove he belongs with them, which he can do tonight….against Matt Hardy.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Finlay and Miz get things going with the camera making sure to point out the shillelagh on the apron. For some reason Miz decides to charge at Finlay, who grabs him by the face and drops an elbow. The nerve hold doesn’t last long before Finlay drops him with a shoulder for two. We’re already in the chinlock, making me think that they’re on rather different pages for whatever reason.

Morrison comes in for a cravate on Finlay, only to have Hornswoggle come in to trip Morrison down. Everything breaks down and stereo seated sentons send the villains outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison fighting out of a headlock (that’s a weird one) but getting taken right back down for a kick between the shoulders.

We hit the chinlock AGAIN as it’s like they’re allergic to getting going here. Morrison fights up but misses the breakdancing legdrop, allowing Finlay to grab a half crab. That doesn’t last long either as Morrison drives him into the corner, only to get backslided for two. Finlay puts the nerve hold on again as I’m almost in awe of what they’re doing here.

Back up and Finlay hits a clothesline, only to have Miz break up the cover. Finlay goes after Miz and gets posted as we might actually be doing something for a change. Miz comes in for the armbar but Morrison misses a slingshot dropkick. Finlay gets in a suplex for two and Hornswoggle tags himself in. A headscissors is blocked though and Morrison hits a reverse powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t know what they were doing. Finlay more or less wrestled the match by himself, which makes sense as Hornswoggle can’t do much, but it didn’t need to be that dull. Maybe they were trying to fill in time or something, but Finlay is capable of much better than what we got here. Rather bad stuff.

Post match Miz and Morrison leave, allowing Mike Knox to come in and lay Finlay out.

Matt Hardy vs. Colin Delaney

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas are on the stage despite saying they would be in Delaney’s corner. Delaney gets knocked the corner and suplexed as Hardy doesn’t seem to be having too much trouble to start. A boot in the corner slows Hardy down and a middle rope dropkick actually gives Delaney two. Hardy easily suplexes him back down though and hits the middle rope elbow t othe back of the head. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate finish for Hardy in a hurry.

Post match Atlas and Henry come to the ring, with Henry launching Delaney to the floor. Henry stares Hardy down and then leaves, walking by Delaney to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker things I’ve seen from WWE in a long time, as there is just nothing going on here to warrant it being its own show. Atlas summed up the problem with Hardy as the challenger: the only thing he recently did was lose, which isn’t exactly something that makes me want to see what he does next. The rest of the show wasn’t much better, making this pretty horrible.

 

 

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AND

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