Once Upon A Beginning
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentator: Mike Quackenbush

This is from Chikara and if you haven’t seen or heard of them….I’m not sure what to tell you. Imagine a comic book come to life as a wrestling promotion with the most ridiculous, over the top stories (mind control, cavemen, a colony of various ants and I don’t know where else to keep going) in the history of wrestling. I don’t follow the promotion enough to know what’s going on here so let’s get to it.

Cornelius Crummels/Sonny Defarge vs. CCK

CCK (Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos) are rather big in Europe. Defarge and Crummels look like they belong around 1915 and are former Tag Team Champions. Lykos (under a mask) and Defarge start things off with Lykos calling for a brainbuster less than thirty seconds in. That’s broken up but Defarge misses a big boot, allowing Lykos to snap off a hurricanrana. Crummels tags himself in and blocks a hiptoss attempt and it’s off to Brookes for the first time.

A basement dropkick gives Brookes one but a slobber covered finger won’t go into Crummels’ mouth. Crummels puts it in Brookes’ mouth instead and it’s Defarge coming in for some cheating. That’s fine with Brookes who sends Crummels over Defarge for a sunset flip, setting up a catapult to make Crummels hit Defarge low. Lykos comes back in and gets chop blocked, sending him face first into Crummels’ knees.

A dropkick puts Lykos down for two and a running version in the corner gets the same. Lykos finally rolls away from Crummels and it’s back to Brookes as the pace picks up. Everything breaks down and Brookes is pulled outside so Lykos hits his own dive. Back in and Lykos’ Diamond Dust gets two on Crummels but Defarge sends Lykos outside. One heck of a clothesline gets two on Brookes but Lykos comes back in for a distraction.

Brookes nails a slingshot cutter with Crummels making the save. Back up and Brookes charges at Defarge but gets caught in a hanging piledriver to drop him again. Defarge powerbombs Brookes onto Crummels’ knees with Lykos making a save this time. Lykos goes up top so Crummels uses Defarge as a launchpad for a super monkey flip for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: D+. Not great here with the action getting a little messy at times. It doesn’t help that Crummels and Defarge look enough alike that it was hard to keep them apart. The other problem is this didn’t feel like a Chikara match and could have been on just about any show over the weekend. Not terrible, but run of the mill at best.

Missile Assault Man vs. Boomer Hatfield

Assault Man is rather serious while Boomer (I’m assuming Dash’s brother/cousin/mystic spirit dragon given where we are) wears a baseball mask. Assault starts fast and throws him around, setting up a heck of a clothesline. It’s time to start stomping on Hatfield’s leg but the Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work.

Instead it’s a northern lights suplex into an elbow as Assault isn’t wasting time here. Boomer armdrags his way out of a fireman’s carry and a headscissors sends Assault outside. Back in and Boomer’s high crossbody is countered into a reverse Razor’s Edge to send him face first into the buckle (looked rather awesome, though it could go badly at the same time) for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a squash here but I can see why Assault is considered a monster. It helps when Hatfield isn’t that big and can get beaten up so easily. They mentioned that he was a rookie as well so it was a rather simple formula. Sometimes you need a squash like this one to make someone look good and it worked well for Assault here.

The win gives Assault three points, meaning he can challenge for the World Title.

Cam Zigani/Arik Cannon/Hallowicked/Hermit Crab vs. Jigsaw/Razerhawk/Stokely Hathaway/Thunderfrog

Everyone here has held the Young Lions Cup before and this is going to be a match where I’m trying to tell who is who. Hathaway is Chuck Taylor, which must be a joke that they’re not going to explain. Zigani and Razerhawk start things off with Razerhawk hand walking into a headscissors, followed by a springboard armdrag (required around here). That’s enough to send Zigani over for a tag to Cannon, who gets to face Hathaway.

A wristlock nearly has Arik tapping until he reverses into one of his own, which has the fans chanting PLEASE DON’T TAP. The short form technical wrestling sets up a double tag to Jigsaw and Hallowicked, who have a long history together. They go to the mat to start with Hallowicked getting the better of the grappling but not being able to do anything against his bridge on the mat.

A pinfall reversal sequence gives us a standoff and the fans politely applaud. Jigsaw hits a middle rope hurricanrana into a double stomp for two and it’s off to Crab vs. Thunderfrog, complete with Thor style hammer. Crab goes with a nerve hold but gets caught in an airplane spin, plus one in the other direction ala Tyler Bate. Thunderfrog’s Cannonball (WAY too common of a move in so many promotions these days) looks to set up a Vader Bomb but everything breaks down for the big brawl instead.

That means Thunderfrog’s team hitting ten punches in every corner until quadruple atomic drops break it up. We settle down to Cam neckbreakering Thunderfrog and Jigsaw getting the two. Cannon’s snapmare gets two as the Thunderfrog beating continues in the corner. Crab gets two more off a suplex but Hallowicked walks into a Blue Thunder Bomb. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Jigsaw so things can pick up a bit.

Stokely comes in to take over but he has to beat up Cannon and Hallowicked at the same time. The Falcon Arrow gets two as the fans chant for Hathaway. Soul Food connects but a Sky High gives Hallowicked two. Cannon hits a brainbuster for two on Jigsaw but Thunderfrog sends him to the floor for a big flip dive.

Back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, with Razerhawk handspring elbowing Hallowicked and Hermit Crab. Things slow down a bit as we seem to be getting ready for the big spot. Cannon tells the referee something and the ring mostly clears out. Zigani can’t superplex Razerhawk so Thunderfrog grabs his big hammer and strikes the mat to knock everyone down. Razerhawk hits a Swanton to finish Zigani at 17:48.

Rating: C. I’m going to be as nice as I can here and say that this was messy. There were eight people there with a lot of stories and characters that aren’t explained, which makes this feel like a joke we’re not in on. This is one of those shows that should be designed to draw in some fans and it seemed that we were supposed to know everything that was going on coming in, including that Stokely/Taylor deal. It was a fun spot fest, but it could have been a lot better with a little less time and more explanation.

Hold on though as Thunderfrog forgets his hammer and since no one can lift it, we have to wait for him to come back and get the thing.

Air Wolf vs. A-Kid

This could be good and these two were very familiar faces over the weekend. They hit the mat to start with Wolf working on an armbar to limited avail due to a twisting escape. A-Kid goes with a headscissors on the mat before switching off to a headlock. Some quick flips let A-Kid hit a dropkick and we take a breather until Wolf can pull himself out of the corner. Wolf is fine enough to hit a kick to the chest and a snap suplex gets two.

The Rings of Saturn have A-Kid in more trouble and Wolf twists the wrist around to make it even worse. That’s broken up so Wolf hits a spinning gutbuster for two. Wolf tries some kicks to the chest but A-Kid blocks one and strikes away to take over. The triangle choke is broken up in a hurry and they hit stereo bicycle kicks for a double knockdown. Back up and A-Kid gets two off a northern lights suplex but Wolf kicks him into the ropes.

That means a 619 between the bottom ropes to send A-Kid outside. You know that means the big old dive to the floor and Wolf hits a somewhat messy dive back inside for two. Some attempts at a double underhook something don’t work as A-Kid is right back up with a sliding German suplex. A missile dropkick gives A-Kid two and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here.

The slugout goes to Wolf but A-Kid pulls him down into another triangle choke. Wolf powers him up but A-Kid jumps forward with a Canadian Destroyer in a sweet counter. A-Kid puts him on top, where Wolf hits a swinging butterfly superplex for another double knockdown. They head up top again but this time A-Kid catches him with a super Spanish Fly for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: B. Yeah this was a blast with both guys working as hard as they could and having a competitive match without going too nuts with the high flying. Sometimes a match like this is one high spot after another but they were trading spots here instead of going as crazy as they could. That was a very nice change of pace and I had a much better time with this one than I was expecting to.

Post match, respect is shown.

Here’s Juan Francisco de Coronado for a chat, though he breaks with his tradition of coming to the ring slower than Undertaker. He says his name is NOT Juan Francisco de Coronado and he has fallen on some hard times as of late. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” He’s been having some personal and financial issues, including losing his Ecuadorian citizenship and has had to use his body to pay off debts. It has made him do some soul searching and there has been one constant in his brain: maybe he isn’t good enough. Maybe he would be better off if he just quit.

The fans are split on that one but one other thing has been on his mind: on this weekend, no one has come here to see him. Maybe it’s time for him to make a change. He is no longer Juan Francisco de Coronado. Now he is John Francis of Coronado. And that’s it. Given that it’s Chikara, I would expect this story to go on for the next three years.

Young Lions Cup: Still Life With Apricots and Pears vs. Carlos Romo

Still Life is defending and is basically an art project come to life, complete with being identified as “they” instead of he or she. The Cup is full of flowers to keep things a little off. Still Life pulls him in by the arm off a handshake offer and it’s an early start on Romo’s leg. Romo is right back up with a leg lariat for two as the announcers try to figure out where the bullseye is on Still Life considering all the other paint. It’s right back to Romo’s leg with some cranking on the mat.

Back up and Still Life kicks him in the ribs but Romo hits a chop in the corner, which just seems to hurt his own hand. Still Life dropkicks him in the leg for two but a spinning toehold is countered into a small package for two. A running knee to the head drops Still Life and it’s time to strike away at the champ. Romo hits a springboard spinning cutter (cool) but misses a moonsault that would have gone too far, even if Still Life hadn’t moved. Something close to a reverse/inverted Figure Four (a modified Venus Flytrap called Venus de Milo) retains the Cup at 5:53.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of stuff that I like to see from Chikara as you could never get away with something like Still Life elsewhere. That’s what makes it more interesting: it might not work elsewhere, but it works here. That takes some serious world building and Chikara has done it for a very long time now. Let that go somewhere and they’ll turn him into a star, because that’s what they know how to do around here.

Princess Kimber Lee vs. The Whisper

They’re the reigning Tag Team Champions who don’t get along and are fighting each other here. It worked for Mysterio and Guerrero. Whisper is the Innovator of Silence and Lee is from the Suplex Kingdom. Lee doesn’t wait for the bell and starts throwing the German suplexes as we have an unlikely Brock Lesnar inspired character. She is on about her twelfth German suplex in a row and Whisper is done.

Another is broken up but Whisper can’t hit his own German suplex. Instead Lee elbows him in the face and starts rolling more German suplexes. Whisper finally gets in his own German suplex….and Lee no sells it. A kick to the head sets up a bridging German suplex to give Lee the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. It’s another storyline match, though this one was a little more charming than most of what you would get out of a Lesnar match. Whisper is similar to Still Life in that he is his own thing who is probably a lot more interesting around here, though he wouldn’t work all that well anywhere else. Lee is someone who fits a lot better around here than she did in NXT, which is perfectly fine for a lot of people. Not a good match, but it seemed to advance their story.

FIST vs. The Colony

That would be Tony Deppen/Icarus/Travis Huckabee (Friends in Similar Tights, a stable which has been around for a LONG time with a bunch of different members) vs. Fire Ant/Green Ant/Thief Ant (same thing, but they’re humanoid bugs). The brawl is on in a hurry as these teams apparently have a deep history (that’s downright terrifying around here) until it’s Icarus driving Green into the corner as the proper match starts.

Huckabee misses a knee drop and it’s time to start in on some kind of arm hold with Deppen making the save. Thief comes in and starts slowly punching away in the corner but Deppen sends him outside for a nasty looking suicide dive. Green hits his own corkscrew dive onto Deppen and Huckabee, leaving Icarus vs. Fire Ant, with the announcers talking about the long history between the two of them.

Fire sends him outside to set up the launched dive (the Antapult), leaving Deppen to get superkicked for two. Green and Deppen chop it out with FIST hitting a triple running kick in the corner for another two. Thief and Fire break up a second attempt and it’s a triple dropkick in the corner for two on Huckabee. A rollup is reversed into a Brock Lock on Fire but Thief makes the save and puts on one of his own (with commentary explaining that he can steal moves but not do them as well, which is pretty clever).

The Wings of Icarus (Pedigree) gets two on Icarus but Deppen is back up with a jumping knee to Thief’s face. Green gets the Chikara Special (pull on an arm and leg at the same time in a specific way) but Icarus makes the save with the Blu Ray (it’s a Death Valley Driver, but more dangerous than a DVD) for two.

Something close to Bandido’s 21 Plex drops Fire, who no sells the whole thing and kicks Icarus in the face for two. Huckabee takes Fire up top but Green breaks up what looked to be a butterfly superplex. Fire is right back up with a super hurricanrana into a double suicide dive. That leaves Green to try the Chikara Special, which Travis reverses into a Brock Lock with a bodyscissors for the tap at 9:47.

Rating: B-. This is a match where it seems the history would make this better but what we got here was a rather entertaining match. Chikara knows its trios matches and even with commentary talking about FIST getting a Tag Team Title shot soon, I wasn’t sure who was winning. The Colony is a very fun act and FIST is a good counterpart to them so I had a good time.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg thanks the fans for coming out (Which he does every time you come to a show, including person to person. I’ve talked to him a few times and he’s an incredibly nice guy.) but doesn’t think he’s right for the job anymore. Therefore, we have a new Director of Fun (GM): Sydney Bakabella.

This doesn’t sit well with Bryce, who leaves after a forced hug. Bakabella (WHERE DO THEY GET THESE NAMES???) talks about calling some of the great wrestling presidents, including Jack Tunny, Stanley Blackburn and Jim Barnett, who told him to take the job. He’ll be here to have fun and you can take the to the pay window. Fans: “YOU’RE NOT FUN!”

We recap the main event, complete with a graphic of Kimber Lee vs. Whisper. Mark Angelosetti was Grand Champion but got hurt, meaning he was allowed to choose an interim champion. That would be Dasher Hatfield, his former partner. Hatfield got a lot more confident by winning over and over again, but now Angelosetti is healthy again. Hatfield hit him with the title to go heelish, meaning it’s time for the title match between the former friends.

Grand Championship: Dasher Hatfield vs. Mark Angelosetti

Angelosetti is challenging, even though he should still be the official champion and it’s a ladder match. Hatfield wears a baseball themed mask and his theme music starts like the SportsCenter jingle. Angelosetti is Mr. Touchdown and somehow doesn’t come out to anything resembling the Monday Night Football theme. He does however have a song that seems to be called Welcome To Touchdown City, saying he is “better than Favre in a pair of jeans.”

They go straight to the slugout to start as Bryce bails to the floor at the bell in a smart move. They’re on the floor with Dasher getting the better of his step cousin in-law (given wrestling relations, I’m fine with it). A chop off goes to Angelosetti and he forearms Dasher in the face. They fight near the ladder with Dasher sending him back inside and the ladder following. Angelosetti goes for the first climb but is smart enough to drop down when Dasher gets back in. Why do so few people figure that out?

Angelosetti whips him back first into the ladder and hits some splashes in the vein of football up downs. Instead of a big one though, Angelosetti puts the ladder onto Dasher and then hits the splash to put in some pain. That’s enough to get a hand on the ladder but Dasher tips it over, sending Angelosetti onto the buckles, with Angelosetti sticking the landing. Again, in a way of keeping things simple, Dasher shoves him out to the floor instead of doing something dumb.

Dasher slams him legs first onto the apron and kicks at the leg for a bonus. A backdrop on the floor gets Angelosetti out of trouble and it’s time for the big ladder (required really). Instead of climbing up, Angelosetti hits a Cannonball in the corner as we hear about the history of ladder matches around here. All two of them. Dasher gets whipped into the regular ladder in the corner, which Dasher throws at the big one.

They go up the big ladder at the same time with Angelosetti belly to back suplexing him down for the next big crash. Angelosetti is down as well so Dasher gets in a shot to the leg. A shinbreaker onto the ladder in the corner has Angelosetti in real trouble for the first time. Like a good heel, Dasher ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the leg, followed by a baseball slide to send a ladder into Angelosetti’s face.

Dasher goes up but takes too long (of course), allowing Angelosetti to hit him with the other ladder. They go up a ladder each and the fans request that they don’t die. That means a double crash and they both bounce off the ropes for the knockdowns. Dasher is up first and gets creative by tying the big ladder vertically in the ropes, allowing him to whip Angelosetti into it for a cool visual.

Angelosetti sets up the smaller ladder up across from the big one, with Dasher letting him do just that. The ladders are both standing up so they shove each other into them for a cool yet rather contrived spot. Angelosetti gets the better of it here and unhooks the regular ladder, which is knocked into his face for taking too long. Dasher grabs Boomer Hatfield (apparently his son and watching from ringside) and demands help, which Boomer doesn’t want to offer. With that not working, Dasher shoves him down and…that seems to be it for Boomer.

It’s time to bring in some chairs but Angelosetti manages a spinebuster onto them, leaving a line on Dasher’s back for a painful visual. The big ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Angelosetti takes too long (the plague of ladder matches), allowing Dasher to wrap the leg around the ladder. In a creative spot, Dasher Pillmanizes the leg while Angelosetti is still standing on the ladder. Dasher grabs an elbow pad which apparently he used to cheat in a big tournament back in Season 15.

Instead of going for the belt, Dasher loads up a big elbow from the ladder, allowing Angelosetti to get up for a superplex off the ladder and the next big crash. The Flea Flicker (belly to back suplex into a pair of knees to the chest) knocks Dasher down again but hurts Angelosetti’s knee even more. Angelosetti climbs up the big ladder with the small one wedged in between to help with some bracing. Since that’s just dumb in a ladder match, Dasher Batista Bombs him through the regular ladder to kill Angelosetti for good. Dasher pulls down the title for the win at 24:35.

Rating: B+. This went a bit longer than it needed to and some of the spots took too long to set up, but the carnage and anger were both there. That’s what they were going for as these two seem to have been rather close before the title got between them. It’s worthy of a main event and it’s nice to have something of note happen on the show. What matters most here is how brutal this was and I had a good time watching it, though trimming five minutes would have helped a lot.

Overall Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the big matches delivered and there was more than enough good stuff throughout to make the show work. Chikara is one of, if not the most, unique promotions out there and it’s really cool to see some of their ideas in action. The main event feels bigger than anything else as the rest of the show came off as more like a showcase than a major show. To be fair though, that’s kind of what Wrestlemania weekend is all about for the indies, and this show would make me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Off the Hook
Date: October 24, 2015
Location: The Arena, Jeffersonville, Indiana
Commentators: Mike Quackenbush, Leonard F. Chikarason, Dr. Rod Diamondfire, Bryce Remsburg

So this is an interesting one as I was actually in the arena (as in The Arena) for the show. I’m far from familiar with Chikara but I know enough about it to have some form of idea of what I’m watching. This was my first time seeing them live and it was a rather entertaining night, especially for $20 for the last row (last out of four that is). Let’s get to it.

Now for those of you that aren’t familiar, Chikara is basically a comic book come to life in a wrestling promotion. There are cults, secret organizations, mind control, wrestling ants and blowing up a bus full of children. When you get into something like this, you have to know what you’re signing up for. You can’t expect WWE style or production values, along with expecting a very indy style experience.

It should also be noted that this season’s main story (yeah Chikara is divided into seasons, with an actual offseason) is a multi-team competition called Challenge of the Immortals. The roster has been divided into ten four person teams. Each team will face off against each other at least once with the captains picking the stipulations. No word on what the prize is for the winning team.

Finally, I’m probably not going to know a lot of the details and backstories here. Chikara is one of those places with an incredibly deep and complicated history and there’s almost no way to keep track of everything. I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make though I’m sure I’ll be corrected on them.

The opening sequence is almost identical to the Marvel Studios logo. Again: I love that they aren’t hiding what they’re doing. It makes things so much easier.

We get graphics of all the matches on the card.

The arena really was small with maybe 150 people in the arena at most. I was sitting opposite the hard camera so on the off chance you see this show, I’m in the fourth row in the Superman shirt.

The announcer (Alex Pearlman, a guy who doesn’t seem to be that well known. He was a really good host though and held the show together all night.) welcomes us to the show, with his mic cutting off a few times in the middle. The only problem here was he said they were going to blow the roof off the place. It was raining pretty hard that night so does he want everyone to get wet?

Challenge of the Immortals: Orange Cassidy/Drew Gulak vs. Ophidian/Shynron

Gentleman’s Club vs. Snake Pit. Each team has their own flag which is a very nice touch. Gulak is a British style wrestler and Cassidy wrestles in sunglasses and torn jeans. Cassidy and Shynron start things off with Orange grabbing a headlock. Cassidy: “I want out! This is too much!” He takes off the sunglasses as the announcers are ripping on Cassidy for being lazy and exhausted.

Cassidy runs in slow motion and taps against Shynron for a shoulder before tripping him down. The comedy is actually working here as Cassidy trips but claims it was a splash. Off to Ophidian vs. Gulak for the actual wrestling portion. They hit the mat for some nice counters until Ophidian bounces off the mat several times to escape a wristlock. Cassidy tags himself in and asks for a test of strength. You can see the joke coming from here.

The much smaller Ophidian puts him down with one arm as referee Bryce Remsburg (one of the stars of the show) says this was Cassidy’s idea. Now Cassidy wants Shynron. Ophidian: “You sure about that buddy?” Shynron moonsaults off the middle rope and moonsaults right up to Cassidy who immediately tags out. Gulak easily wrestles Shynron to the mat and starts working on the arm before getting rolled up for two. It’s back to Cassidy vs. Ophidian with Cassidy taking a nap with a stuffed tiger.

Ophidian gets smart and tries a quiet count but Gulak shouts FREE BAGEL BITES at two, making Cassidy snap up and small package Ophidian for two. Cassidy asks for a weapons check of all things and gets caught in a reverse Tumbleweed of all things for two for a bunch of two counts. Gulak comes in for a rolling cradle of his own but still can’t end this comedy. Shynron tries some handsprings into a headscissors on Drew but has to settle for a victory roll instead.

Back to Ophidian vs. Cassidy with the snake man headstanding on the top turnbuckle and hissing. A very complicated rollup gets two on Orange and it’s back to the wrestlers for a crisscross into a sunset flip from Drew. Shynron’s springboard is countered into an electric chair which is countered into a hurricanrana for two but it’s time for the partners to come in and turn the hold over about a dozen times in a row. Cassidy: “STOP IT!”

Cassidy complains to the referee that he’s trying to win the match and Ophidian is over here trying to win the match too. Totally unfair! The fans want a hug and Ophidian offers a handshake. Cassidy tries a trick of course and gets rolled up to give Ophidian the pin at 14:01 with Gulak (where was he anyway?) being a second late.

Rating: C+. This was longer than it needed to be but it was the perfect way to set the tone for the show. The comedy was really working here with Cassidy as a good slacker and Gulak the completely opposite partner. The Snake Pit could have been any given combination and the match would have worked just fine. Really entertaining stuff with the wrestling as a backdrop, which is going to be a trend all night.

Pragash Sabar, who is basically an X-Pac tribute character from Pakistan, says Farmer Frog (just go with it) isn’t poisonous enough for him. He gets in a few Sean Waltman jabs for good measure. Waltman has to show up (again) and squash him good and strong.

Pragash Sabar vs. Farmer Frog

He’s a frog who farms and certainly NOT the Estonian Thunder Frog who died recently. We get another weapons check and the referee finds…..cucumbers on Sabar? Sabar bails to the floor and hands a fan two more cucumbers. I really don’t want to know the joke here. The much bigger Frog shoves him down a few times before grabbing Pragash by his big fake tongue. That means it’s time for the armpit to the tongue and I have no idea how I reached this point in my life.

Sabar goes to the floor for a breather (and so fans can rub his tongue), allowing Frog to come off the top with an ax handle. Back in and a Cannonball sets up a delayed gordbuster (Frog: “OOPSIE!” Oopsie?) for two. The Slop Drop (for once that name makes sense) is broken up though and Sabar gets two of his own off a high cross body.

Some X-Pac kicks in the corner (and a few licks of the hand) set up the Bronco Buster (Chikarason: “Five hit combo.”) for two, mainly because it’s not a move you pin people with. Frog grabs an Oklahoma Stampede of all things but Sabar bails to the floor and tries to get his cucumbers back. That goes nowhere so Frog hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down into a rollup with Sabar putting his feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one and the match really didn’t work that well. Neither guy showed off that much as it’s kind of hard to get into a match between Henry Godwinn/Brian Knobbs as a frog (which didn’t change much) vs. X-Pac with a long tongue. It’s not a terrible match or anything but I didn’t care too much for it. This might have been edited as the live notes I had listed it as longer but I didn’t notice any major edits.

Sabar gets his cucumbers back. I still don’t get it.

AC/DC (Arik Cannon, wearing a Less Than Jake shirt, as in the band that sang We’re All Dudes in the cinematic classic Good Burger, and Darin Corbin) are ready for their match. Corbin calls Cannon for fun but Cannon yells at him for not taking this more seriously. Darin suggests slow motion tonight. Oh dear indeed.

AC/DC vs. Lucas Calhoun/Missile Assault Man

Calhoun is an Elvis impersonator and Missile Assault Man used to be an ant but was brainwashed into being extra aggressive by a shadow corporation (or something like that). From what I understand, they’re followers of a guy who was murdering various wrestlers last season (just go with it). Man and Cannon get things going and a quick armdrag sends Man outside, which is as good as a tag around here.

Corbin comes in as well and it’s time for a karate demonstration (Chikarason: “The school of Stan Lane vs. watching a lot of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.”). A little dancing leads to Corbin putting on a karate headband but Calhoun punches him in the ribs and rips it apart. More karate leads to a slap fight and that’s enough for Man as he drags them apart. Corbin sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before telling Cannon they should isolate Calhoun. A double dropkick gets two for AC/DC but Man comes in and dropkicks Darin down for the same.

We get a Missile Assault MAN stomp (with one letter per stomp) as the match settles into something like wrestling. A kick to the head gets two for Calhoun and rolling northern lights suplexes get the same for Man. Corbin elbows both guys away and the hot tag brings in Cannon so everything can break down. Man is sent to the floor and a double superkick gets two on Calhoun.

After a quick interlude from Man, we hit SLOW MOTION. Corbin Stuns Calhoun as even the announcers are speaking slowly. A fan in the crowd says Missile Assault Man sucks in slow speak as well. Cannon gets two off a backslide and now it’s back to full speed with Calhoun eating an RKO, only to have Corbin walk into a Brogue Kick from Man for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. I was getting into this one until the slow motion kicked in. I’ve seen the bit before and while it’s a cool idea, it really takes me out of the match. It’s ok to just have a match end once in awhile, though to be fair that’s the kind of rule that you see for a match in a bigger company. Man and Calhoun were kind of working as an oddball tag team and AC/DC are a good choice for a midcard pairing. Good enough match to start but it needed to have a better finish.

Challenge of the Immortals: Blind Rage vs. Eddie Kingston

Nightmare Warriors (captained by Grand Champion Hallowicked, which will become important in a bit) vs. Snake Pit. Rage is a generic guy with red paint on his face and Kingston (coming in with a bad knee) is a big star known as the War King. Kingston has some issues getting his robe off in a funny bit. Eddie works on a top wristlock and shouts that Hallowicked isn’t here to save Rage. A snapmare puts Rage down and Eddie slaps him in the of the head. Kingston: “It’s ok. I’m a tweener.”

Rage gets smart with a dragon screw leg whip but Kingston fights up from the mat in a nice touch. Kingston gets in some weak knees to the back but gets dropkicked in the knee to slow him down again. A middle rope knee to Blind’s head (with Eddie limping after landing on the bad knee) sets up a DDT for two. The spinning backfist (Eddie’s finisher) misses and a Michinoku Driver gives Rage two more.

Some really weak looking rapid fire chops (I have yet to see those look good from anyone) from Kingston have Rage in trouble but he gets caught in a sitout powerbomb from the corner. They’re way too spent for only being eight minutes into a match. Rage misses a top rope double stomp and rolls outside, allowing Hallowicked to run in for a DDT. A quick STF gives Rage the knockout win at 8:16.

Rating: D+. Rage really didn’t hold my interest very well here but you could see that Kingston is one of the better guys they have. He carries himself better than most guys on the roster and he actually sold the knee really well. The ending was a good idea as there’s only so much you can do to have a guy like Rage look credible against one of the biggest names in the promotion.

Kingston yells at the referee for missing the interference. Referee: “I was outside.” Kingston: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

Intermission, with a lot of the wrestlers coming to ringside to sell shirts. The handful that I talked to were all very nice and it was a really pleasant experience for a change.

Challenge of the Immortals: Juan Francisco de Coronado/Proletariat Boar of Moldova vs. Jakob Hammermeier/Soldier Ant

United Nations (Coronado is one of the bigger heels in the company) vs. Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (a former mega heel stable who are now barely a thing. The United Nations take their sweet time coming to the ring with Pearlman and Remsburg taking a nap in the corner during the entrance. Pearlman does their introduction in slow motion (“Making their way to the ring……eventually…….at their own pace……”). The Boar of course has a tail. Soldier Ant seems to be under mind control of some sort (Fan: “Remember who you are Soldier Ant!”) which is likely a very interesting backstory because they always are around here.

No commentary on this match for some reason. Coronado respects Jakob for being a foreigner and offers a handshake. Jakob offers his left hand and attacks (“YOU CAN’T TRUST THE GERMANS!”) before grabbing Coronado’s bowtie. It’s time for a test of strength but both heels go for kicks to the ribs. Juan: “I THOUGHT I LIKED YOU!”

They both poke each other in the eyes and it’s off to the Boar for a spinebuster/dropkick combo. The heels (as in Coronado and the Boar) stomp away in the corner until Jakob crashes to the floor, which again counts as a tag. Soldier Ant comes in for a clothesline on Juan and a Liger Kick to the Boar. A not very giant swing sends Juan flying and it’s off to some freaky leg lock. Juan gets thrown around and then out to the floor, allowing Boar to come in instead.

The Ant beats him up too until Juan grabs his foot, only to be terrified by the Ant staring down at him (well in theory as you can’t see his face). Boar’s Samoan drop gives Juan two and the Ant’s layout powerbomb from the corner gets the same. The Ant starts boxing the Boar (another thing I never expected to type) until the tailed one kicks the Soldier outside. Jakob remembers he’s in this match and goes after the Boar, only to eat a spear for the pin at 10:49.

Rating: C. Chikara is interesting as this competition is basically throwing a bunch of people together for what feel like random matches, even though they make sense when you know the story. That being said, most of these matches are working well enough and the competition gives the match some meaning, even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time. Fun enough match here though with Soldier Ant stealing most of the show.

Blaster McMassive, a guy who is exactly what his name sounds like, snaps a Slim Jim, just like he’s going to do to Chuck Taylor’s neck tonight.

Challenge of the Immortals: Blaster McMassive vs. Chuck Taylor

Wrecking Crew vs. Gentleman’s Club. Taylor is a big star and known as the Kentucky Gentlemen (I think I have a Chikara favorite) but he’s on a retirement tour (which might see him go to WWE as he’s only 29). Chuck breaks up the posing with a dropkick to the floor, followed by a quick dive.

Back in and a jawbreaker is broken up so we hit a chinlock from Blaster. Taylor fights up for an octopus hold of all things, only to get kicked in the head for two. They slug it out until Taylor grabs a release Rock Bottom for two. There’s a DDT for the same but Taylor misses something off the top and walks into a sitout Boss Man Slam for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. Quick match here but power vs. speed is still one of the best stories you can run no matter what. Another good enough match here but the time was kind of surprising. If Taylor is supposed to be a big deal, you don’t expect to see him lose in just a few minutes. Not bad but it needed more time.

Dasher’s Dugout (the team leading the competition coming into the show) is ready but they don’t like missing Young Lions Cup holder and fourth partner Heidi Lovelace. They have Princess KimberLee as a fourth though so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Dasher Hatfield/Icarus/Mark Angelosetti/Princess KimberLee vs. Hallowicked/NRG/Heidi Lovelace

This is challengers vs. champions with Hallowicked as Grand Champion (NRG (Race Jaxon/Hype Rockwell) as Tag Team Champions and Lovelace as Young Lions Cup holder. Lovelace is usually part of Dasher’s Dugout (a sports themed team with Dasher wearing a baseball mask and Angelosetti being named Mr. Touchdown). KimberLee is a princess with purple hair.

Icarus and Hallowicked (former champion vs. the champion) start things off but it’s off to Lovelace before anything happens. Icarus isn’t clear what to do here so he wrestles slowly as they trade arm holds. Neither can hit a kick so Lovelace clotheslines him down and they slap hands before tagging out to Jaxon and Hatfield. Dasher grabs an armbar to slow Jaxon down before it’s off to Mark for a bulldog.

The much bigger Rockwell comes in to trade shoulders with Angelosetti with Mark getting the better of it. We stop for some Tebowing (with the announcers wondering if that’s still a thing) until NRG takes Mark down. That goes nowhere so here’s the Princess vs. Hallowicked for a big showdown. The Princess actually gets the best of it and kicks Hallowicked down for two. NRG tries to interfere again but gets caught by Dasher and Mark with a double headbutt to keep the good guys in control.

KimberLee puts Race in a full nelson with her legs until Jaxon springboards out of the corner for the tag off to Rockwell. Everything breaks down for a bit and Hallowicked throws Heidi to the floor to prevent a showdown with the Princess for some reason. Go To Sleepy Hollow (a GTS with a kick instead of a knee) gets two on KimberLee before it’s back to Race for two off a butterfly suplex. Hallowicked comes in and cranks on KimberLee’s arm before it’s off to Heidi for a chinlock. Hallowicked: “SHE IS OUR ENEMY! WHAT DO WE DO TO OUR ENEMY???”

A crucifix into something like Rings of Saturn has the Princess in trouble until she rolls out. Heidi and Hallowicked argue on the floor until KimberLee dives through the ropes to take them down. That means it’s off to Icarus for a bad looking hurricanrana on Rockwell as things speed way up. Dasher comes in with no tag for a wheelbarrow slam/Stunner combo (the Bo Jackson) on Race.

Jaxon gets caught in the corner for a double superplex until Rockwell makes the save by powerbombing Dasher and Mark off the top. Race moonsaults onto both of them and it’s off to KimberLee for some chops to NRG. The two of them are taken out with ease and NOW we get KimberLee vs. Lovelace. They kick it out because this is an indy promotion and we have to do it at some point.

KimberLee gets the better of it until a wicked Saito suplex sends her to the floor. Hallowicked comes in and decks Icarus before telling Heidi to get out. Lovelace says no so Hallowicked shoves her down allowing Icarus to beat up Hallowicked with strikes and a nice Sliced Bread #2. It’s time for the parade of finishers, including Heidi apologizing to Dasher for a Fameasser. A pop up Diamond Cutter seemed to hurt Heidi but here’s Eddie Kingston for the backfist to drop Hallowicked, allowing KimberLee to score the pin at 20:15.

Rating: B+. This was a lot of fun with all eight of them flying all over the place. This place is similar to Lucha Underground as the women are on equal footing with the men, making for a much more entertaining match instead of the stupid “let’s treat them differently” nonsense that you often have to see. KimberLee getting the pin is a good choice instead of the normal stuff where it’s the main World Champion contender getting the pin. This was by far and away the match of the night and a lot of fun with all eight looking awesome.

The credits roll and Alex thanks us for coming out, but here’s Bryce Remsburg to say ONE MORE MATCH.

Fire Ant vs. Oleg the Usurper

Oleg is a viking who was frozen in ice and is rapidly turning face. Fire Ant is the high flier of the former Colony and a fan favorite. Ant dives through the ropes to take him out and fires (see what I did there?) off strikes inside. A boot to the face puts Ant down though and Oleg SMACKS him in the side of the head for the pin at 1:23. Well it was just an encore.

Pearlman thanks us for coming to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show where there’s a lot more to the show than just the wrestling. Chikara is much more about a fun show that is built up over time instead of a single show. That being said, this was a lot of fun and more than worth the money. It’s definitely a show that you can get into more if you watch regularly but as a one off, this was a lot of fun and a really entertaining night.

The main event blows away everything else but nothing was bad and it was a really fun atmosphere all night long. It felt like the wrestlers were having a good time entertaining the fans and it showed in their performances. It’s a really fun company if you want a legitimate alternative to WWE, which is often the case in name only.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It was quite the fun time for a reasonable price.  I’ll have a full review up once I can actually see the show but it was an entertaining night in a small building, meaning a good way to spend an evening.  Chikara is definitely not your run of the mill style promotion as it’s much more family friendly (the fans were asked not to say something sucked) and it’s a bunch of wrestlers in colorful costumes with high impact offense.  The wrestling is almost more of a backdrop to the entertainment which makes for an interesting setting. If you know what you’re getting into though, it’s a fun show and could be very addictive in a hurry.

Since my other option today is Larry Sweeny, I’ll get with the times and go with Cesaro.

Cesaro got his start in 2003 as Claudio Castagnoli but since he’s got a lot of stuff to get to, we’ll be jumping to ROH in 2009. Claudio was an entrant in the 2009 Survival of the Fittest tournament, where six wrestlers win qualifying matches before advancing to the finals later that night.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match: Petey Williams vs. Claudio Castagnoli

Claudio is freaking RIPPED. He’s announced as being VERY EUROPEAN. I love that. Williams is still doing the dumb Maple Leaf Muscle thing that got him nowhere in TNA but whatever. Claudio was trained by Honky Tonk Man. Oh dear help him. The visual here is really funny as Claudio is 6’5 and Williams is 5’7, so it’s really weird looking.

I love all the little jokes we’re getting here to old wrestlers and move names that you don’t get elsewhere. They’re doing a lot of mat stuff here but it’s actually good so I can’t complain at all. Claudio is the heel here but he’s ridiculously popular so it means nothing at all. Petey gets to use some of his highflying stuff that wasn’t allowed in TNA because he had to work slow to not show Steiner up.

He hits a jumping over the top rope thing into a Codebreaker. Nice but it’s just two. Claudio does a move called the UFO, which is a rack but he spins in a circle really fast, at one point letting his arms go and then just throws Petey to the mat. Again though it’s just two, which makes it seem far less impressive.

A Canadian uses a Russian Legsweep onto a Swiss man into an Oklahoma Roll. I love wrestling. Claudio grabs the referee to avoid a Canadian Destroyer and hits a low blow and a European uppercut to end it.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great either. Petey got to show off a whole lot and that’s something you don’t get to see from him that often. Also here you didn’t have the whole big man vs. little man formula nonsense going on and they got to play off of each other a bit. Again, very nice for a change.

Survival of the Fittest Finals: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero vs. Delirious vs. Roderick Strong vs. Colt Cabana vs. Tyler Black

Now for those of you that haven’t heard of Delirious, this guy is freaking INSANE. He babbles incoherently and has been known to wrestle matches in slow motion. What does that tell you? Oh and he’s awesome in the ring by the way. He and Punk had an AWESOME match in I think IWA-MS that got me into both guys. The cool thing about this for me is I legitimately don’t know who is going to win.

Most of the time I know the results but here I’m completely blank on them. Black sells the injury to his neck from earlier on the way in which is nice. I hope there are tags in this. Claudio and Hero used to be in a team that dominated indy tag wrestling for awhile called the Kings of Wrestling and Delirious and Black were in the Age of the Fall together. Ah good it is tagging.

Delirious, Strong and Hero have all won. Black and Delirious start, and my money is on Black to win it. They start with a lot of technical stuff before Cabana comes in for Black. Let the comedy begins. Black is criticized for never being able to win the big one, which is a common criticism that there was for ROH. I’m not going to list off all the tags as they’re going rather fast.

We get Castagnoli vs. Hero, which is a battle of the skyscrapers in ROH as both guys are 6’5, which is enormous in this company. A thing I like about indy wrestling is you can use other stuff than signature moves in a match. For example, they trade full nelsons. That move makes sense, but in WWE no one but Masters can use it. See what I mean?

Now I don’t mean everyone uses the FU or the Pedigree, but a transitional move like the spinebuster shouldn’t be only reserved for HHH and two other guys. In a WEIRD looking spot, both guys interlock their legs and then wind up standing on their heads. They shake hands while in this position. That’s rather…uh…yeah. It’s Black and Claudio now as we’re definitely in for the long haul here.

Everyone is still in at this point. Prazak is in love with Hero I think. He refuses to shut up about how awesome he is. In a PAINFUL looking spot Claudio spins Black around by the hair. That has to hurt something fierce. In a great sequence that gets the crowd going, Delirious drills Claudio with about 10 clotheslines in the corner before Hero saves him. Cabana comes in and we get a mini tag match.

The Kings of Wrestling are thrown to the floor and get stereo suicide dives, but then Strong and Black get in and launch themselves over the top rope at both guys. Very awesome and fast paced spot. It’s Delirious vs. Claudio now and the crazy masked man is in trouble. In a movie I haven’t seen before, Claudio uses a hip toss from the second rope. That’s different if nothing else.

I like Hero’s facial expressions. Delirious goes for a backslide on Claudio but Hero knocks the European’s head off with the elbow, allowing Delirious to get the backslide and the pin. Immediately as in less than 5 seconds later, he rolls up Cabana and we’re down to four. I’ll give this match this much: it’s not boring.

After an elbow from Hero he covers Delirious and the referee does that same thing he did earlier on with the count stopping at two even though the kickout hasn’t happened yet. We hit a mess and Strong hits a big kick into the chest of Delirious to put him out. Immediately after he kicks out of the elbow from Hero and a Liger Bomb.

We have Strong, Hero and Black left in case you weren’t sure. If I remember right Strong is known as the Messiah of the Backbreaker, as he uses a ton of them. That’s unique if nothing else. Hero and Black just pound the tar out of each other with forearms. And there goes Hero to a move called God’s Last Gift. Think of a Perfectplex but instead it’s a really compact DDT where he just hooks the legs into a small package for the pin. I like that.

So it’s Strong vs. Black for the title. Works for me. Black gets a NICE flying elbow from the top for two. They’re cranking up the speed here and I’m digging this. Strong hits a bunch of backbreakers and then we hit the Strong Hold: a Boston Crab. That’s psychology, even though Black has a bad neck. It’s passable though as his finisher is a back submission.

Strong gets knocked into the crowd and Black goes up with a flying clothesline into about the third row. I love the shot of the fans just moving backwards for them. I like that for some reason. I love Black’s springboards. He doesn’t use a bunch flips or anything but just launches himself at Strong. We’re back in the Strong Hold and the fans chant tap. Somehow he kicks out and then Black hits his two finishers for two.

This is great stuff here. Strong gets the loudest kick to the back of Black’s head that I’ve ever heard. Fans are WAY into this. Strong just goes insane on Black with knee shots and an AWESOME kick to the head for TWO. The kicking out is getting to be a bit much here. I get the survival thing, but this is getting to be a bit much. Ok yeah three straight superkicks gets two.

The fourth gets it but Strong kicked out anyway, so the fans boo the finish. That’s never good. Black wins and then gets on the mic and says thank you to Strong in a cool moment. He then says that Cornette was wrong. These guys aren’t the future, but the future is now, and Strong deserves a rematch to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was about 45 minutes long and awesome throughout. The fans were way into it and by the end I was buying into it also. The key thing for me was that all 6 guys looked like potential winners and while based on the way Black had been built up throughout the night it was kind of clear he would win, it was never a lock, which makes the match instantly better. Very fun stuff here and while I usually don’t like multi-man matches, this was an exception, which is saying a lot for me.

Around this time, Claudio was also teaming up with Chris Hero and dominating the indy scene. They held the CZW, Chikara and ROH Tag Titles at the same time. After splitting up in 2007, the pair reunited in late 2009 and became ROH Tag Team Champions again. Here’s a defense from Death Before Dishonor VII.

Tag Titles: Briscoe Brothers vs. Kings of Wrestling

This should be awesome. It’s kind of weird watching the Kings as they’re both about 6’5 which means they tower over the vast majority of the roster. Hero and Claudio cut promos saying they appreciate the Briscoes not being allowed to be here, so of course they hit the ring and it’s on. No DQ here which is a surprise I think. Big dive by one of the Brothers takes out the Kings. I’ve never been able to remember which is which so bear with me.

Why do they have to tag in and out? If you can’t get disqualified then what’s stopping them? Hero starts and it’s been one sided the whole way so far. Claudio is finally up in his corner after getting his teeth kicked in. The challengers get after Shane Hagadorn and I think you know this isn’t going to work. Claudio is busted open already. Someone that’s either a young boy or an adult woman shouts that Hero is a pussy. I hope it was a girl.

Everything breaks down early and Mark Briscoe is busted open pretty well. Ok now I can tell one from the other. Oh man Mark is busted BAD. The heels have taken over here and we get a gay chant against Hero. Nice double cross body and there’s the hot tag to Jay. He drives Hero’s head into the buckle about 25 times and now he’s busted open. O’Connor Roll gets two but Hagadorn pelts Jay with a chair to put him on the floor. Hagadorn is the Kings’ manager if I forgot to mention that earlier.

Jay is busted open too now. Hero ties Jay to the post with the tag rope Total bloodbath here but they said that at the previous show they had a long technical match so this is far more acceptable. Doomsday Device but with a European Uppercut gets two on Mark. The referee gets a knife from somewhere and cuts Jay free. A Roaring Elbow (Hero’s finisher) gets two.

Jay gets a freaking fire extinguisher of all things and the Kings are in trouble. Table is brought in as Claudio’s cut is more or less closed. The heels are thrown into the table but it doesn’t break. Double team neckbreaker/powerbomb gets no cover. Claudio counters a slam through the table but the Briscoes tackle him into it where his shoulder goes through the edge of it in a painful looking spot.

Doomsday Device to Shane and the Briscoes are standing tall. Hero pops up with his loaded elbow pad and drills Jay with it for TWO and a big pop. We get more gay slurs at Hero with people saying SCREW YOU Hero. If he’s gay as you say you are, wouldn’t he enjoy that in theory? In an AWESOME looking finish, Castagnoli gets a giant swing and the pad is put on Hero’s foot which he kicks Jay in the head with for the pin.

Rating: B. This was supposed to be a big fight and that’s exactly what it was. All kinds of blood (Mark’s face was COVERED), very good violence, the SICK ending and the whole thing going nearly 20 minutes worked very well. They had a technical match already so this is the next logical step. I’m fine with violence like this when it fits the story, which it did here due to the Kings attacking their dad. Very fun match that was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Claudio was also appearing in Chikara in a stable called BDK, which was something resembling a Norse mythology stable and involved mind control, robots, and squashing insects (and this was before Chikara went insane). Claudio and a wrestler named Ares were the Chikara Tag Team Champions and defended them at Eye to Eye.

Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli/Ares vs. 3.0

3.0 is comprised of Scott “Jagged” Parker/Shane Matthews. Wow I’m sick of that song that BDK (Claudio/Ares, the champions) comes out to. This is 2/3 falls as are all title shots. The challengers come out second but Delirious runs out and beats them up pre-match. Ok Shane is in the red. Ares gets a Tiger Bomb and the first fall is over 4 seconds after the bell rings.

Claudio beats up Shane on the floor but then chokes Parker with the streamers than earlier. He is freaking ripped. Delirious is on the floor with them. Apparently Ares is the leader of the stable. There’s a guy in a Nexus shirt in one of the closest seats to the entrance who is kind of distracting. Modified powerslam by Ares gets two. This is totally one sided so far.

Bearhug by Claudio to Parker who fights out. And never mind as he’s in the hold again already. Another powerslam gets two and it’s off to Ares again. There’s some heel miscommunication though and Parker rolls up Claudio for the second fall and we’re all tied up! The fans are stunned as that’s the first time the BDK has ever given up a single fall as champions.

Double chokeslam kills Parker for two. The locker room empties to watch this now. The BDK picks up Parker and rams him into the mat multiple times in a cool looking move. Swanton by Ares gets two. Riccola Bomb is reversed by a rana and it’s finally the hot tag to Matthews. Spinebuster to Ares and Claudio gets sent to the floor.

Matthews goes up and hits an elbow drop for two on Ares. So these guys are supposed to be awesome and one tiny man is beating them both up at the same time. Got it. Eh that’s normal in wrestling though, so according to most wrestling fans that means it’s ok. Back to Claudio and Parker. Parker gets a Codebreaker and takes out Claudio on the floor. Matthews gets a powerbomb for two on Ares.

Spinning belly to back by Ares to counter a bulldog. European Uppercut gets two as does the Riccola (arm trap powerbomb) Bomb. The fans chant for 3.0 as apparently a B average works. Small package to Claudio gets two. Instead Claudio realizes he’s huge and puts on an Inverted Chikara Special (half crab with an arm trap that looks awesome). Parker kicks him in the head but since this is an indy company it’s no sold and there’s the tap out to end it.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here and I kind of like the whole quick first fall and then the rest of the match. They got me into the match in the end which is the whole point here. The locker room emptying out was cool as it shows that EVERYONE wants BDK to lose. This was a fun match and solid for the main event.

We’ll look at one of Claudio’s last ROH matches as he and Hero teamed up to defend their Tag Titles against Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team one more time. Ignore that they had already signed with WWE.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

 

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

 

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

 

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

 

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

 

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

 

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

Claudio would move to the WWE and FCW and change his name to Antonio Cesaro. He would debut on FCW TV on October 23, 2011.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Mike Dalton

Dalton is currently known as Tyler Breeze. Cesaro comes out to what was Dean Malenko’s theme music in 2002. Dalton is easily shoved into the corner and Cesaro locks him in a cravate before taking him to the mat. Dalton comes back with a quickly broken hammerlock but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. We hit the chinlock from Cesaro for several moments before Mike comes up for his jobber comeback. Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and a WICKED powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Cesaro looking awesome. The powerbomb (Riccola Bomb for you indy people) was a great finisher against smaller guys but the switch to the Neutralizer worked better when not everyone was a tiny guy by comparison. Swiss Death looked great as well and this was total domination.

Cesaro would debut on WWE TV in April of 2002 and challenge Santino Marella for the US Title on the preshow of Summerslam 2012.

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

Soon after this Cesaro would be featured at the 2012 Tribute to the Troops in a match that would make Hulk Hogan proud.

John Cena vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro doesn’t even get an entrance. That should tell you where we’re going here. The Muppets introduce Cena, which is completely awesome. Cena pounds him down to start but Cesaro throws him into the corner to take over. They head to the floor with Cena being rammed into the steps. Back in and the gutwrench suplex gets two and here’s the comeback. Cena shrugs off everything Cesaro did, hits the Five Moves of Doom and wins with the AA at 5:23.

Rating: C. If you don’t get why this match happened the way it does, go watch a test pattern. That’s more on your intelligence level.

Cesaro would head back to NXT from time to time and enter into a feud with Sami Zayn in August of 2013. This led to a 2/3 falls match that speaks for itself.

Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro

They have a lot of time to work with here and it’s 2/3 falls. Zayn debuted a few months ago and beat Cesaro in Sami’s second match of the night. Cesaro won the rematch so tonight’s the rubber match. Zayn dives over the top to take out Cesaro during his entrance before the bell. Back inside and Sami hits a spinwheel kick for the first fall six seconds after the bell. Cesaro is clotheslined to the floor and sent into the steps as we’re not even a minute into the match.

They slug it out on the floor before Zayn gets two off another spinwheel kick. Zayn pounds away in the corner but can’t get a sunset flip. Cesaro can’t hit a double stomp so Sami goes to the middle rope and jumps from there to the top for a high cross body for two. Cesaro throws him into the air to drop Sami face first on the buckle for two before pounding away at Sami’s head. We hit the standing chinlock for a bit before Cesaro blocks a kick to the ribs and pulls Sami up into a powerbomb for two.

Back to the chinlock but Zayn jawbreaks his way out. A hard clothesline and the running stomp to the chest gets two for Cesaro. Back up and Zayn fires off forearms to the chest but gets caught in a backdrop, allowing Cesaro to rain down right hands. Another double stomp sets up the gutwrench suplex but Sami counters into a sunset flip for two. A running hurricanrana gets the same but Cesaro comes back with a bridging capture suplex for two.

Back from a break with with Cesaro putting on the standing chinlock for the third time. Zayn gets two off a rollup and hits a quick dropkick to put Antonio down. He charges right back into the chinlock though and Cesaro spins him around before taking it to the mat. Zayn actually taps out at about 9:00 shown, making it one fall apiece.

Sami rolls to the apron but Antonio pulls him back in with a superplex from the apron. That’s SCARY strength but it’s only good for two. Zayn grabs a quick rollup for two but gets caught in the chinlock again. That’s rolled up for two followed by Cesaro charging into a boot in the corner. The fans think this is awesome and I can’t say I disagree. Sami gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip after crawling up Cesaro’s body.

Cesaro bails to the floor so Sami heads outside as well before getting a running charge and diving between the ropes into a tornado DDT on the floor. Cesaro dives back in at nine and Sami gets two. Zayn tries to climb the corner for another tornado DDT but Cesaro catches him in midair, lifts him into a gorilla press and drops him down into Swiss Death. Antonio immediately picks up Sami and puts him down with the Neutralizer for the pin and the third fall at 15:38 shown of 18:38.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s great. The third fall picked WAY up after a solid second fall. I’m not sure I get the idea of having Zayn win the first fall in a few seconds but it was definitely a face way to start the match. Either way, both guys looked great here and the match worked incredibly well with Cesaro looking like a beast at the end. Why he’s in a jobber tag team and not being pushed as a top heel in WWE is beyond me. Check this match out if you have the chance.

We’ll look at one more match from NXT in December of 2013 with Cesaro facing William Regal in a match over respect that had been built up for months.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

Regal is taken out by referees but Cesaro goes after him and extends a hand. Regal stares him down and shakes hands as we go off the air.

We’ll close it out with Cesaro’s biggest win to date which is more recent than I like to get but you can’t pass up something like this for him.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro is one of the most perfect combinations of look, power, skill and ability that you’ll ever find. He’s one of the strongest men in wrestling and has wrestled everywhere in the world with success. I’m hoping that his current push results in an extended main event run for him as he could be one of the biggest international stars WWE has had in years.

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