ECW on TNN – September 1, 2000: Unfortunately, Tournaments Are A Thing

ECW on TNN
Date: September 1, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week, I’m really not sure what to expect from this show. This promotion goes from a fun wrestling show to some insane clip show with a bunch of wrestling that wasn’t very good to set up an angle that we’ve seen before. The next pay per view is in just over a month and I have no idea we’re going to see on the way there. Let’s get to it.

We see the end of Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck advancing to the finals of the Tag Team Title tournament.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and the big arena does actually look cool. Joel does his rhyme about various escapades in each of the boroughs before Steve Corino comes out, flanked by Billy Corgan playing New York, New York on his guitar. I’m not sure how old school the Smashing Pumpkins were in 2000 but it’s better than Limp Bizkit.

Corino is the new #1 contender (What about Jerry?) and refuses to apologize for cheating to pin New Jack, Dusty Rhodes and Tommy Dreamer. He’s not going to apologize either when he pins Justin Credible. Cue Lou E. Dangerously and WHEN DID HE BECOME JUSTIN’S MANAGER? He’s not Justin’s manager? Well he certainly acts like him and that doesn’t help because this company makes no sense half the time with all the people running around doing random promos to advance the overall angles.

Lou yells about wanting to beat Corgan up and wants the title shot at Anarchy Rulz. A fight is about to break out when Justin Credible “sneaks” (read as Corino clearly looks over his shoulder to see him coming in) in and canes Corino. Corgan actually chokes Justin with the cane until Lou hits him in the back of the head with the phone. Lou says that’s a message from the Network. Ok so he works for the Network and not Justin? Really I’m not sure at this point and I don’t particularly care either.

Tag Team Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy

The winners get Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer. A table is brought in less than ten seconds in but Sandman cleans house with the cane. Rhino shrugs them off and Gores Sandman through the table for two, followed by the piledriver to advance Credible and Rhino in less than two minutes. Did Willy stop for a taco?

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Simon and Swinger vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Roadkill starts fast with a powerslam on Simon but CW pulls Doring to the floor because almost every heel is part of a stable. A double Downward Spiral gets two on Doring but he grabs a double Bareback (Those names get annoying.) and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Roadkill is thrown through a table, only to have Anderson hit Simon by mistake. Not that it matters as the Problem Solver puts Doring away and send Simon and Swinger to the finals.

Rating: D+. As much of a mess as most of ECW was at the end, they did have a good tag division going. Unfortunately we barely saw most of it as the matches were either clipped or had nothing on the line because of the ridiculous four month waiting period. Four weeks is a long time to not have champions but from April to September is unthinkable.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Rhino/Justin Credible

Joined in progress with separate brawls in the crowd. They’re nice enough to come back to the ring with Jerry dropping Justin but having to spank Francine instead of going for the pin. The Gore takes Dreamer out and there’s a piledriver through the table. Little Spike Dudley comes in with an Acid Drop to Rhino and the cradle piledriver puts Justin away to send Dreamer/Lynn to the finals.

Rating: D. As usual, WAY too much going on to keep track of anything here and that gets annoying in a hurry. Why do so many matches have to go into the crowd in a wild brawl or have so many people interfering? Would a straight match every now and then, especially when we’re coming up on a title shot, be too much to ask for?

Tag Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Simon and Swinger vs. Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

The titles are vacant coming in and this is elimination rules. The Sinister Minister is the only manager present and Dreamer is in a neck brace. Tajiri, Lynn and Simon start things off with Simon sitting back while the other two start fast. Everyone tags out and the new three stare at each other for a bit.

Swinger stops to pose and gets put down by the physique-phobic Dreamer and Whipwreck. Everyone fights to the floor (of course) and Dreamer actually kicks Tajiri for a change of pace. Lynn takes Simon back inside for a bow and arrow hold. All six get inside again and it’s time for double Tarantulas with Lynn and Mikey being stretched.

They’re fine enough for stereo tornado DDT’s for stereo two’s on Simon and Swinger. Cue CW Anderson to hit Dreamer with something made of metal, setting up the Problem Solver for the elimination. The locker room comes out to watch as Tajiri mists Simon, setting up a Whippersnapper for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I normally don’t care for but at least it gives us something. Tajiri and Whipwreck are still a new team but at least they’re a team instead of two people just thrown together for the sake of being thrown together. They’re fine as the new champions, especially since they’ll defend the titles against a strong tag division.

Everyone celebrates with the new champions.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s like they were trying to show a tournament in one night but didn’t have enough time. It was kind of confusing when they went from one round to the other and some brackets would have helped a lot. The finals being shown in full was the right move though and while I would have gone with Simon and Swinger, at least the titles aren’t vacant like they’ve been since a few weeks after Wrestlemania.

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ECW on TNN – August 4, 2000: The Memory Escapes Me

ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

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ECW on TNN – July 28, 2000: This Week’s Result

ECW on TNN
Date: July 28, 2000
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Last week was a fairly stand alone show so hopefully things pick up this week. We’re months away from the next pay per view and that means it’s up to TV to carry things for a good while. After the last few months, I really don’t have a ton of confidence in ECW’s ability to do that but maybe I’ll be surprised. Let’s get to it.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Chilly Willy

Rhino is defending and this is joined in progress with Willy sending him into a chair for a near fall. The Gore and a piledriver put Willy away quick.

Post match Sandman saves Willy from going through a table and spears Rhino through it instead. Is there a reason this feud seems to be continuing?

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth as Billy Corgan (yes that Billy Corgan) is in the ring with an original song about ECW. Cue Lou E. Dangerously with the Network to cut him off before Billy can start though. Various Smashing Pumpkins insults result in Lou taking a guitar to the head. Network runs in, Dreamer and Lynn make the save. Dreamer issues a challenges for a falls count anywhere tag later tonight.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

Actually hang on as the FBI jumps Tajiri so we have a replacement.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis

Guido sunsets in for two at the bell but a big dive takes the Italians down. Back in and Psicosis is sent shoulder first into the post with Guido ramming it into the post over and over. Guido punches him down for two and hits a middle rope seated dropkick (that’s a new one) for two. Sal gets in a running splash against the barricade to set up a Sicilian crab, only to have Tajiri come in with a kick to the head. The guillotine legdrop puts Guido away.

Rating: C. These cruiserweight matches are fine but it would be nice if they went somewhere. It’s almost like they should be fighting for the TV Title instead of having both singles titles stuck in the main event scene. The match was fun and all and the ending sets up something else, but it would have been nice to have this go somewhere instead of being a one off match/nothing feud.

Rhino yells about various good guys.

We look at Kid Kash beating EZ Money on Hardcore TV.

Dawn Marie takes Joel’s place and mugs for the camera a lot.

We look at Carl Ouellet (Remember him?) putting Francine through a table and getting beaten up by Justin Credible as a result.

Rob Van Dam thinks the Van Terminator is pretty awesome. He’s pretty cool in general actually.

Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Clair were on Hardcore TV with Blue E. Dangerously by their side. Jazz came out and powerbombed Jasmine out of her dress.

Steve Corino/Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer

Falls count anywhere. It’s a brawl to start with Anton getting Dreamer in an early Clapper with Jerry making a save. Lynn dives onto Corino and Victory and the four people actually in the match head into the crowd. Corino is bleeding badly (well duh) and here’s Dreamer with a ladder. Dreamer takes Anton back inside but gets sent face first into the top of the ladder for his efforts.

The ladder is bridged between two chairs and Lynn crashes his way through it to put the Network in control. The good guys snap after being forced to do the Clap but the referee gets bumped. Dreamer and Lynn use each others’ finishers and a second referee comes out to count two with Jack Victory decking the second referee. Cue Billy Corgan to lay out Jack and count the pin.

Rating: C. Standard overly violent ECW main event here with the celebrity cameo near the end for a bit of a twist. Anton is still the worst main event guy in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground in a company with Justin Credible around. It would be nice if these matches meant something instead of just more mindless brawling but that’s not going to happen.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting very bored by this promotion and it’s no surprise that they’re in a lot of trouble at the moment. There’s just no creativity in what they’re doing and it’s the same stuff over and over again with the same brawling week to week.This week ECW won and odds are next week the Network wins and so on and so forth because that’s how ECW works.

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ECW on TNN – June 23, 2000: Maybe They Should Be Canceled

ECW on TNN
Date: June 23, 2000
Location: O’Neill Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re running out of time before Heat Wave and maybe they could actually bother to start setting things up this week. Or maybe even advancing some stories for a change. Instead, I’d assume we’ll be getting more Network vs. ECW because that’s the only story they know how to tell anymore. By tell I mean repeat over and over. Let’s get to it.

Rob Van Dam and Fonzie are excited about heading to Los Angeles for Heat Wave.

Earlier tonight, New Jack climbed a ladder to get into the rafters and dove onto someone not important enough to name and drive him through a table. Ah apparently it was Chris Hamrick, which I had to find online. Thanks for taking that big of a bump Chris.

New Jack is ready to go to LA as well because he wants to show us his hometown. He can’t wait to get violent in his old stomping grounds.

Opening sequence.

Cyrus is in the arena to yell at Joey because there isn’t going to be ECW on TNN tonight. See, there can’t be a show because there’s no color commentator because Joel is still in the hospital. Joey isn’t going to get to put himself over tonight and has ten seconds to produce a commentator or there’s no show.

Cue Gertner to chase off Cyrus again but Cyrus runs into Francine. After complimenting her cleavage, he thinks it’s time for her to take care of him by beating Gertner up in exchange for saving Justin Credible’s title last week. Francine gets inside and rips Joey for being a Catholic (seriously) and having his wife in the crowd.

It’s Joel’s turn now but he brings out Tommy Dreamer to do his fighting for him. The announcers bail and Francine starts begging off because Justin isn’t here tonight. Sexual favors are offered if he’ll break his silence since Cyberslam. Nothing is said so Francine slaps him in the jaw, only to have Jazz come in and lay her out. That’s your first third of the show by the way.

Tony Mamaluke vs. Chilly Willy

Williy gets caught in an early tornado DDT for two but comes back with a falcon’s arrow for the pin in just over a minute.

Guido comes in and lays Chilly out before trying to break the referee’s arm. This brings out Balls Mahoney for the big save but he can’t drop Big Sal. A middle rope headbutt crushes Balls’ ribs so here Mikey Whipwreck with a FLAMING 2×4 for the real save. That thing was lit up too.

Simon and Swinger are in their locker room when the Prodigy and the Prodigette come in to waste time. Cue the Musketeer for more comedy, only to have the Dangerous Alliance come in for the big showdown. Much like everything else tonight, this goes nowhere.

Scotty Anton turns the lights on and off with the Clap. They’re ready to take care of Van Dam on Los Angeles and that’s about it.

Steve Corino vs. Tajiri

Corino has Jack Victory in his corner and this is a rematch from Hardcore Heaven. We’re still not ready to go though as Cyrus comes out AGAIN and tells the referee to cheat for Corino. The referee says no so Cyrus lays him out and brings out Jerry Lynn as guest referee. Cyrus to Corino: “It’s just like Montreal. It’s in the bag.” Feeling out process to start with Corino claiming a pull of the trunks.

With nothing going on, Joel previews what’s coming up next in a parody of last week’s ending as the video goes into the corner. Instead of Arena Football though, we get EXTREME TEST PATTERNS! Joel: “Will cyan clash with magenta??? TUNE IN TONIGHT!” Funny stuff, as is often the case with Gertner. Tajiri hits a neckbreaker for the first real offense and a neckbreaker. A spinwheel kick puts Corino on the floor and the handspring (not the elbow) sends a chair into Steve’s face to draw some blood.

Corino bled like almost no one I’ve ever seen back then so it’s no minor cut. A knee to the head makes the blood even worse and Tajiri baseball slides a chair into Steve’s head. Tajiri is nice enough to wipe some blood away but gets suplexed through a table. Is that a traditional Japanese thank you? Corino drops a Bionic Elbow for two and the Network is livid. It’s made even worse as Tajiri grabs Steve’s crotch and mists Jerry by mistake. Corino gives up to the Octopus Hold but the blind Lynn hits Tajiri by mistake, giving Corino the pin.

Rating: B-. Again that’s on the ECW scale because their matches just aren’t that good most of the time. The Jerry Lynn stuff is even more of the same nonsense but you have to expect that at this point. Corino could bleed like few others for a cool visual but the story is in the same place it was in a month ago and that’s not good at all.

Joey wraps it up by hyping a Chicago house show the next night of the fifth or so time on this show. Oh and Rhino defends the TV Title again Rob Van on free TV just because.

Overall Rating: D-. The main event helped a lot but this was a hue waste of a week. We had a bunch of talking that we’ve seen before, a match we’ve seen before and a one minute match that set up Mikey playing with fire. With less than a month to go before the pay per view, they really should be going somewhere instead of doing the same stuff they were doing back in May. This show is flatlining in a hurry and REALLY needs to change before it gets even worse.

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