IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night and one of the most important shows of the year as we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is more wide open than in recent years and that’s often the best thing that can happen for the match. Other than that we have a pair of World Title matches, with Raw’s likely being too long and Smackdown’s needing to move on before the company makes itself look worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how life’s road is unpredictable and how one turn can change everything. As you might guess, the Last Man Standing match gets the most time and the Rumble itself is mentioned last.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and it’s a tables match with Coach on commentary. Before the match, Batista gets in a quick jab at the Dudleys for being the biggest losers since the Philadelphia Eagles. They fight on the floor to start with Batista clotheslining the post by mistake to put the champs in early trouble. In a painful looking impact, Bubba slides a table from one side of the ring to the other, hitting Batista in the ribs to keep him in trouble.

A neckbreaker slows Batista down and D-Von takes him to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Flair has Bubba in the corner on a table (that’s so wrong for Flair) but Bubba is right back with the Flip Flop and Fly (that’s more Flair’s speed) Batista comes back in for the save though as I’m glad they’re not wasting time with tags here.

The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination puts Batista down as Evolution can’t get much going here. Flair goes up, and in a shocking change of events, Flair gets slammed down. It’s time for the table but cue Coach, with his bad ribs, for the save. That earns him a What’s Up attempt but Flair makes a save of his own. Batista is back in with a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table for the win.

Rating: D-. Just a Raw match designed to get these guys on the show, though I can appreciate them putting the tables match on first and hopefully we don’t get a bunch of chants about wanting tables. Other than that, I see nothing positive about this entire thing. Batista and Flair are fine as champions, but it’s not like they have anyone important to feud against at this point.

Flair says they’ll keep the titles as long as they want.

John Cena raps about how he’s going to win but Rob Van Dam comes in to steal the last rhyme, saying he’ll win the Rumble. Cena makes weed jokes and says Van Dam can suck his candy cane.

There’s an empty chair for Mick Foley, should he bother to show up.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending and Jamie has the still blind Nidia with him. A 619 attempt in the first ten seconds is countered into a hot shot as Jamie takes over. Cole says that Nidia, who is blind, is looking on as Jamie hiptosses Rey down, earning one heck of a tongue lashing from Tazz. Rey gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by the sitout bulldog for two. The tiger driver is broken up and Nidia trips Jamie by mistake, setting up the 619. Rey Drops the Dime to retain in short order.

Rating: D. Well don’t bother wasting time I guess. This was barely three minutes long and they didn’t have time to do anything. Nidia’s interference was the most important part of the match and that took all of two seconds. These two are talented but they need more time than a run of the mill women’s match from this era to get anywhere.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. They were a successful team but Eddie got way more popular, sending Chavo into a jealous rage when the team stopped doing as well. Chavo went nuts, blaming Eddie for all of their problems and bringing in his father to turn it into more of a family affair, even as Kurt Angle tried to play peacekeeper. This is one of the few stories that is going to work every single time and both of them have sold it exceptionally well, turning it into the best thing going on in WWE at the moment.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has his father with him. They fight over a hard lockup to start until Chavo slaps the taste out of Eddie’s mouth. A fired up Eddie shoves him into the corner but can’t bring himself to follow up because his heart is broken. He’s willing to take Chavo down into a chinlock but Chavo is right back up for a chop in the corner. Eddie chops him back and gives the first smile of the match. Some shoulders put Eddie down and Chavo is very pleased with his early success.

That just earns him a poke to the eye as the stalling continues. Eddie takes him down again but Chavo pops up in short order and hooks a hurricanrana to put them both on the floor. With Chavo back inside, his dad sends Eddie face first into the steps (Tazz: “I guess he doesn’t like his little brother.”) to give Chavo the first real advantage. Back in and Eddie grabs a cross armbreaker but can’t get it all the way on. Chavo scores with a belly to back suplex but the tornado DDT is broken up. Eddie rolls the suplexes and drops the frog splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was good while it lasted but it should have lasted about twice as long. This was a big time story on Smackdown and it ended in a match that was about half as long as the Smackdown main event. I’m assuming they’re setting Eddie up for something bigger down the line and they needed to get this out of the way, but this deserved more time.

Post match Eddie gets fired up for the first time and beats up both Chavos. Sr. gets tied to the bottom rope by the tie while Jr. gets stomped in the corner, busting him open in the process. They did a good job here with Eddie wanting to hold in his emotions during the match but being pushed too far after and finally erupting.

Chris Benoit is ready to go in at #1 when Evolution comes in with their champagne to celebrate. Flair says Benoit is the best technical wrestler alive and all man but the brass ring always slips out of his hand. It’s all about Evolution holding all of the gold so Benoit is always going to be second best.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Hardcore Holly. Lesnar broke Holly’s neck back in 2002 and since we must go with real life instead of something, you know, interesting, we’ve been stuck watching Lesnar run from Holly for the last month. This is possibly the most ice cold title match in history as Holly is little more than a former comedy guy with a bad attitude who is ranting about wanting to break Lesnar’s neck. Lesnar can beat up Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but Hardcore Holly suddenly scares him? That’s what we’re going with here?

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Lesnar is defending and Holly jumps him before the bell. The champ gets posted twice in a row and the bell rings with Holly on the apron, only to miss a top rope clothesline. Lesnar scores with a suplex as the referee is getting in the way more than usual here. A ram into the apron gives Lesnar two and it’s off to a waistlock on the mat. What would eventually be called a Shell Shock gives Lesnar two as this is a complete squash so far.

It’s back to the waistlock as you can hear the limited interest the fans had seeping out of the arena. A bearhug sets up a suplex and it’s right back to a head and arm choke. Holly fights up with some kicks to the ribs and clotheslines, followed by the Alabama Slam….for no cover as it’s off to that stupid full nelson. The hold stays on even as they fall to the floor so Holly tries it again with Lesnar on the apron. That earns him a neck snap across the top and the F5 retains the title.

Rating: F. Oh give me a break. Lesnar was never in danger here and in the six and a half minutes they had, at least half of it was Lesnar keeping him on the mat in a hold. Holly’s finisher, while fine for beating a midcarder here and there, is nowhere near enough to be a real threat to Lesnar. Thank goodness they didn’t tease a bunch of near falls and just got out of there, because this was a bad idea from the beginning.

We’re not even 52 minutes into the show and we’ve covered four matches, including three title matches. That’s a ridiculous pace, even for a Royal Rumble.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which they’re billing as seven years in the making. So we’re counting all of the four and a half years Shawn was on the shelf and the months long feud they had in 2002? They’ve traded wins and the title until Shawn got a pin on the last show of 2003, albeit with his own shoulders on the mat. Therefore it’s a Last Man Standing match tonight, which somehow ties into everything else they’ve ever done, including the most recent match, which is barely discussed.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. They fight over a lockup to start until Shawn gets the better of a chop off. It’s time for a mat sequence with Shawn loading up a backslide, only to let it go when he realizes what kind of match they’re having. One heck of a whip into the corner starts n on Shawn’s back, which is still a target six years after it was originally hurt.

Shawn is right back up with a Figure Four but HHH turns it over for the break. That’s enough of the wrestling so it’s time to head outside with HHH loading up the announcers’ table. A suplex through the table is broken up and Shawn ax handles him in the head. Back in and a backdrop puts HHH on the floor again but Shawn’s springboard spinning crossbody only hits table in a big crash.

Shawn is busted open (of course he is) and we get a replay, showing that Shawn would have cleared HHH by two feet even if HHH had stood in place. Back in again and the very bloody Shawn won’t stay down, instead telling HHH to bring it on. Right hands get a seven and a spinebuster gives HHH eight more. It’s chair time and a hard shot to the back gets nine this time. The Pedigree on the chair is countered into a slingshot into the corner, followed by Shawn’s own chair shot to the face.

Back up and the forearm into the nip up have the bloody HHH in trouble. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. Back up and Shawn grabs a sleeper, which lasts as long as a sleeper is going to in a match like this. HHH’s DDT gets eight so he loads up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a spinning crossbody for a double knockdown. The Pedigree gets nine and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, good for a double knockout and a draw.

Rating: C-. Well of course we need to see these two fight again. You wouldn’t expect HHH and Shawn Michaels to wrap up their feud in just two matches right? This wasn’t very good with just an exchange of moves and nothing that went anywhere, though the blade jobs were both quite nasty looking. I’m sure we’ll see these two again, but these two will likely be fighting in their retirement home.

The fans are NOT pleased with the draw and I can’t say I blame them. HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Shawn insists on walking.

Video on the Royal Rumble, which really just shows the names involved. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Goldberg is in at #30.

The Fink is ready to start the introductions but here’s Eric Bischoff to promise that Raw will win the match. He runs down Paul Heyman’s abilities to run shows in Bingo halls, in a line that has to have been repeated a thousand times now. Ignore that WCW officially went out of business before ECW (on an extreme technicality but it was still officially in business after WCW was purchased). Heyman tackles Bischoff but here’s Steve Austin on the ATV to say they’re both in violation of the law. Stunners abound and beer is consumed. I’m so glad they spent five minutes on this when four matches got less than twenty two minutes combined.

Goldberg is asked about being #30 in the Royal Rumble when Brock comes in to wonder where his interview is. Brock asks where Goldberg’s title is but Goldberg says it’s coming back at Wrestlemania. Goldberg suggests Brock is a coward.

Foley still isn’t here.

Royal Rumble

JR and Tazz are on commentary, thankfully giving us a standard booth instead of the usual mess that these things have become. Tazz even has keys to victory: hide, stamina, get a high number. I’ve heard worse analysis so I’ll take what I can get. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 and we have ninety second intervals. Benoit gets aggressive to start (ignoring key to victory #2) and scores with a suplex but gets uppercutted into the corner.

Mark Henry is in at #3 and shoves Benoit down so he can choke Orton in the corner. The clock seems to get a little faster as Tajiri is in at #4 and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Henry throws Orton ribs first onto the top rope and everyone pounds away as Bradshaw is in at #5. Clotheslines abound until Benoit pulls him into the Crossface and gets him out in less than a minute. Well at least they’re keeping the ring at a manageable number. Rhyno is in at #6 and goes after Orton and Benoit as Tajiri kicks away at Henry.

Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula so Rhyno Gores Henry, eliminating Tajiri in the process. Benoit dumps Henry and we’re already down to three. They fight by the ropes and it’s Matt Hardy in at #7. There’s a Side Effect to Rhyno but Benoit knocks Matt to the apron. Matt gets back in and everyone pummels everyone until Scott Steiner is in at #8. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Steiner as JR gives us the good stat of there being no former Rumble winners in this match.

Matt Morgan is in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up. A helicopter bomb plants Benoit and there’s a big boot to Hardy. It’s back to the exchange of forearms around the ring with no one going for an elimination until Hurricane is in at #10. Before I can recap who is in the match, Morgan tosses Hurricane in short order, leaving us with Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, Hardy, Steiner and Morgan. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron but not out as Steiner lays on Orton in the middle of the ring.

Booker T. is in at #11 to a nice reaction but also to a really annoying song. An ax kick has Orton in trouble and Steiner is thrown out off camera (in his last match with the company) as Kane is in at #12. Benoit and Morgan both get chokeslams and the Gore and RKO are both blocked. Kane starts beating on Matt in the corner…..and a gong strikes at #13. As expected, Kane freaks out and the distraction lets Booker throw him out. It’s actually Spike Dudley in at #13 so Kane beats him up in the aisle, both for the gong and for Spike upsetting Kane on Monday. Things settle down and it’s Rikishi in at #14.

Benoit dumps Rhyno and Orton gets a Stinkface as the fans aren’t exactly interested, probably due to the gong taking some of their interest away. They’re certainly not burning up the pace for eliminations here but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Rene Dupree is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point. He dropkicks Hardy out but turns into a superkick from Rikishi to get eliminated as well.

A-Tran is in at #16 and goes after Rikishi as Benoit ducks Morgan’s charge to get rid of him. Orton dumps out Rikishi and Booker in the span of a few seconds, leaving us with Benoit, Orton and A-Train. Benoit eliminates A-Train as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. Benjamin slugs away as JR completely missed A-Train’s elimination. How do you not notice the 6’8 350lb bald guy being gone? Orton dumps Shelton and we’re down to two again. To be fair, other than Kane and maybe Booker, none of the other entrants are worth anything so far. Lamont runs out to introduce Ernest Miller at #18 and Tazz loves the song.

Benoit tosses Lamont and Orton does the same to Miller so these two can keep slugging it out. Kurt Angle is in at #19 and now things can pick up a bit. Benoit and Angle go at it (of course) while Orton is smart enough to just chill in the corner. Angle has Benoit in trouble on the ropes but Orton makes a rather questionable save. Rico is in at #20 and goes after Orton, who dropkicks him almost immediately. A kick to the head rocks Orton though, leaving Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Angle. Orton dumps Rico with ease and it’s Test…..not in at #21.

We cut to the back where Test is unconscious. Austin sees who did it and makes that person #21 instead. In the arena, MICK FOLEY is #21 and Orton knows he’s about to die. Foley slugs him down in the corner, throws up a BANG BANG and hits the running knee in the corner. The Cactus Clothesline gives us a double elimination and it’s down to Benoit vs. Angle. Foley isn’t done with Orton and sends him into the steps as Christian is in at #22.

Orton gets in a few wicked chair shots to Foley and punches him down before slamming Foley’s head into the ramp. Some right hands get Foley out of trouble and it’s Mr. Socko but Foley has to give it to Nunzio, who comes in at #23. The distraction lets Orton get in a low blow and run off after a great angle that makes me want to see these two have a heck of a fight. Back in the ring, Christian can’t get rid of Angle or Benoit so Angle suplexes Benoit instead. Benoit is the only one standing as Big Show is in at #24.

Show starts fast with the overhand chops and throws some Canadians around until Chris Jericho is in at #25 to a very nice reaction. Jericho and Christian stomp on Angle in the corner until Show makes a save with a double noggin knocker. How old school of him. Everyone goes after Show so he shrugs them off and Charlie Haas is in at #26. Christian tries to turn on Jericho but gets dumped out instead, which just fits for Christian for some reason. Billy Gunn returns at #27 and hits some Fameassers but can’t get rid of anyone.

John Cena is in at #28 to a very nice reaction and you can feel the star power growing every night. Cena catches Nunzio sitting on the floor and throws him inside as the ring is starting to get too full. For some reason Nunzio goes after Show, earning himself that hard shot to the back. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 and can’t get rid of Show either. Cena gives Angle an FU and here’s Goldberg in at #30 to complete the field. I’m not going to bother saying who all is in there because we’re about to lose a bunch of them.

Goldberg wrecks everyone and tosses Haas, Gunn and Nunzio (after an insane spear). That leaves us with Benoit, Angle, Show, Jericho, Cena, Van Dam and Goldberg for a heck of a final group. Goldberg loads up the Jackhammer on Show but here’s Lesnar to jump him from behind, allowing Angle to dump Goldberg, who is busy seething at Lesnar. Show shrugs off the masses again but Angle chop blocks him, which isn’t the brightest idea. That means a Lionsault, a Five Star, a Shuffle and a Swan Dive but Show is unconscious on the mat. Real smart guys.

Show fights up and dumps Cena, who lands VERY awkwardly on his knee. Van Dam is gone too and we’re down to Jericho, Big Show, Angle and Benoit. Jericho goes after Show’s knee and bulldogs Show now, which has done so well against him already. The Walls make Show tap but Jericho lets him go. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Show makes him pay with a chokeslam over the top for an elimination. A regular chokeslam drops Benoit so Angle gets the Angle Slam on Show.

Benoit gets one as well and now it’s the ankle lock to make Show tap again. Show gets up and muscles Angle out as well, leaving us with two. With Show hanging over the top rope, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to the back of his head, accidentally bringing Show back in. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface to make Show tap for the third time.

A side slam gets Show out of trouble as we hear about Benoit getting close to Ric Flair’s longevity record. Show loads up a gorilla press but Benoit pulls him down into a guillotine, even as Show puts him on the apron. Benoit pulls him down and slides back inside as Show goes out, giving Benoit the big win.

Rating: A. It’s one of the best Rumbles ever, mainly due to Benoit. There was some great storytelling near the end, with Jericho and Angle both making Show tap but then making some kind of a mistake to get eliminated while Benoit was smart/determined enough to make it work in the end. The same thing happens when the big groups try to get Show out and Benoit does it on his own, showing how technique and determination are better than brute strength. It kept you wondering if Benoit could finally win the big one and that’s what they managed to pull off in a great story throughout the whole match.

Other than that, they did a great job of not letting the ring get too full save for near the end, which Goldberg took care of in short order. Pacing is often such a problem in these things and it’s very nice to see them get it right. They had a big angle with Foley and Orton too, giving it something besides the winner to go off of from here. Finally, there were multiple possible winners, which always makes for a better match than having one or two people be the only ones who could win. Great Rumble, and one of the best of all time.

JR loses it praising Benoit, who smiles (a rare thing for him) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Rumble is always a unique show as it’s the only one where one match can really save the whole thing, as the main event is often at least a third of the show. The problem is the rest of the show was so bad due to the matches either being rushed or being HHH vs. Shawn in their annual attempt at an epic match that it’s hard to call this good overall. Really though, the Rumble itself is more than enough to carry it, but on any other card of the year this would have been a disaster.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2004-they-couldnt-wait-any-longer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Nathan Jones vignette.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Royal Rumble

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 9, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Summerslam and the big developments from last week saw Randy Orton pinning Chris Benoit in a six man, plus the long awaited HHH vs. Eugene match being announced. That doesn’t leave a lot to be done this week, but maybe they can put something good enough together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Diva Search starts things off but here’s Randy Orton to cut off the elimination. He grabs the envelope and announces Chandra as the loser of the week. Orton: “AW SHUCKS!” After she leaves, Orton talks about how devastated Chris Benoit is going to be after he loses the World Title on Sunday. It has to hurt deep down inside, knowing that Benoit is going to lose everything he’s worked for. We look back at Orton pinning Benoit last week with Lawler shouting that it’s destiny.

Back in the arena (with the rest of the girls gone), Orton asks what everyone here did when they were 24 years old. Maybe they finally got a car or moved out of their parents’ basement. When he’s 24, he’s going to become the World Heavyweight Champion. This brings out Benoit to say that he wants to see the footage of Orton tapping out. Orton says that hasn’t happened so Benoit puts him in the Crossface right now for a tap. Benoit wants to see a replay right now but leaves before we see it. Dude if you’re not going to see it, don’t make the request. Another good segment here as they’re making me want to see the match.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria/Nidia vs. Jazz/Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Molly takes Victoria down to start as the hair is long, blonde and curly this week. Isn’t it time to retire that joke already? It’s been nearly five months now. Gail comes in and gets armdragged before it’s off to Stacy for what I have to imagine is a downgrade. The leg choke in the corner doesn’t get her very far and Molly low bridging her to the floor makes things even worse.

Jazz gets her turn with some forearms and knees but Stacy gets a boot up in the corner. A kick to Molly is enough for the hot tag to Nidia and somehow things get a little big better. Nidia hits a flapjack on Jazz but walks into a swinging neckbreaker from Molly. Everything breaks down and Nidia rolls Molly up for a quick pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure who decided that it was a good idea to have Stacy work such a long stretch of the match but it was the best idea in the world. There’s some talent in the division but there’s so much bad stuff dragging the good down. It doesn’t help when we’ve seen almost every combination far too many times and there isn’t a lot of top talent to go around in the first place.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to convince them all to come with her and do something.

We look back at HHH’s awesome beatdown of William Regal.

A very beaten up Regal and Eugene are at a hotel with Eugene saying he wants to go to the arena for his match tonight. Regal promises to go tonight but it’s not safe yet because it would be a big ambush and Regal isn’t capable of fighting right now. Instead, Eugene sits down and watches TV while Regal rests. With Regal in the other room, Eugene leaves for the arena alone. So this guy who could barely function on his own two months ago can now find an arena on his own?

Smackdown Rebound.

Matt Hardy comes up to see Lita, who has bad news: a DNA test says the baby is Kane’s. An angry Matt just stares at her and leaves.

JR is in the ring for the contract signing between Matt and Kane. Well that’s just awkward now. Lita follows behind Matt as Kane smiles rather evily. We get the recap of the rules for the match, which has to be near the top of the most ridiculous stipulations of all time. Lita and Kane sign with the latter smiling very hard. Matt doesn’t sign, walks around for a bit, and then signs. Kane says he’s more man than Matt and the obvious fight is on. A briefcase to the head knocks Kane out long enough for Matt and Lita to escape.

The Diva Search girls get 25 seconds to sell us ice cream. Joy is in a bikini and rubs it over herself, along with various toppings.

Amy turns it into a plug for Summerslam and sprays whipped cream in her mouth.

Carmella slowly puts stuff on her ice cream.

Tracie turns it into an infomercial.

Maria licks the ice cream and asks if anyone wants to share it with them. She’s rather enthusiastic here.

Christy wrecks the table and says she’s a good little girl who likes to share. This is quite annoying.

Michelle gives her number again (smart) and pours things on the ice cream.

At least it’s getting shorter. Not much smarter, but shorter.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Non-title. They stare each other down to start and fight over some waistlocks. Jericho gets a hammerlock until a whip into the corner and a knee to the back has Edge in some actual trouble. The double arm crank keeps Edge down as the announcers talk about King Kong and Godzilla. Edge is back up with some right hands to the head and blocks a splash with some knees. They’re still going rather slowly here and it seems they have a lot of time. Some shoulders to the back work on Jericho some more until he rakes the eyes.

Jericho tries his springboard dropkick but gets shoved outside in a big crash. The spear hits Jericho’s back, driving him off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Edge holding a chinlock with a knee in the back as they’re still not exactly going at top speed. Edge tries going up so Jericho dropkicks him out of the air, cutting off the fans’ interest all over again. Jericho gets in the spinwheel kick, followed by the running crotch attack to the back.

They get back up and Edge goes with the simple offense of a big boot before a knee to the face cuts off Jericho’s charge. There’s a catapult into the corner but Jericho is smart enough to bail to the floor before the spear can hit. Edge hits a baseball slide instead and the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in and Edge hits a release gordbuster off the top, setting up a missile dropkick for two. Edge misses the spear though and Edge grabs a rollup, with his feet on the ropes for the pin as Edge has been doing in recent weeks.

Rating: B+. Yeah of course this worked as they had a lot of time and a reason to fight. Both guys looked awesome here with Jericho hanging in there until he could win over the aggressive Edge. As good as Batista has been of late, there’s a case to be made for this being the Summerslam title match but at least we got to see it at some point. Really good stuff here, but is that really a surprise?

Post match Batista comes out to destroy both guys.

Eugene arrives and, after a break, finds out that HHH isn’t here. Instead, HHH is at the hotel destroying Regal. Well that and monologuing about payback like an evil mastermind. That’s one of the most logical things I’ve seen on this show in years.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. Chris Cage/Brent Albright

Rhyno and Tajiri have to win in two minutes to get a title shot at Summerslam. Cage and Albright are both OVW guys. The bell rings and here’s La Resistance to watch. Tajiri kicks away at Albright to start and knocks an invading Cage down as well. Albright gets kicked in the face for his efforts to give Tajiri two and it’s off to Rhyno. Everything breaks down and a big spinebuster plants Cage. The Gore connects but La Resistance distracts the referee so time expires. No title shot in a bit of a surprise.

Divas, bikinis, next. Actually not next as Trish and the six women from earlier come out with a challenge for Summerslam: DODGEBALL. Somehow, that’s an improvement over all the other dumb stuff they’ve done so far. You can hear JR’s soul die as he tries to talk the idea up.

Evolution is happy with Regal’s beatdown.

HHH/Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit/Eugene

Actually hang on as there’s no Eugene since he’s gone to be with Regal so we’ll try this instead.

HHH/Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit elbows them both in the face to start and a baseball slide puts HHH on the floor. A snap suplex takes Orton down and the rolling German suplexes do the same to HHH. Flair is right there to break up the Swan Dive though, allowing HHH to crotch Benoit on top. Orton comes in and drops some knees to the chest, followed by a dropkick. HHH gets to hammer away as well with Orton coming back in with a top rope stomp to the back. There’s a hard whip into the corner as the beatdown continues.

Regal’s blood is still all over HHH’s tape for a great touch. Orton grabs the chinlock, which JR describes as “very dangerous”. Benoit fights out of the corner but walks into a spinebuster to cut him right back off. A small package gives Benoit two and he sends HHH into Orton in the corner for a breather. There’s a superplex to Orton to knock him silly but Benoit can’t cover. HHH gets suplexed down and Benoit backdrops him out to the floor. The Crossface goes on and Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was only so good as Benoit was literally on his own and wasn’t about to get a win here. At the same time you don’t want Benoit to take a clean loss, so of course you go with the DQ because that’s what Flair is there for anymore. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as it was more about the storyline, but at least what we got wasn’t bad.

Post match HHH gets in the beatdown on Benoit, including the Pedigree (shocking) but here’s Eugene to beat on HHH, who bails out. Eugene beats up Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as the good stuff was really good but the weaker parts stuck out horribly. The problem is they seemed to be getting ready for Summerslam but at the same time wanted to do a bunch of stuff that had nothing to do with the show, which isn’t the best idea for the go home show for one of the biggest cards of the year. What we got was good, but it could have been a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 2, 2004
Location: SBC Arena, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting very close to Summerslam and that means things are starting to pick up. Last week saw Eugene cost HHH the World Title and I’m sure we’ll need to hear about HHH’s quest for vengeance, because this show is about HHH and no one else. That includes World Champion Chris Benoit, who will be defending against Randy Orton at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Iron Man match, including Eugene costing HHH the title.

HHH actually cuts off the intro because he can’t wait to hear himself talk about how important he is. After a brief wait for the fans to yell at him, HHH rants about how last week was supposed to be his time because he was doing something that very few men dare to do. He fought his heart out because his life depended on it. That title is his life but then Eugene took it away from him. A SIMPLETON took it away from him and Eugene can’t even comprehend what he has done. HHH demands that Eugene get out here right now by shouting his name over and over again in acting that would be bad in a WWE Studios film.

William Regal comes out instead, saying that Eugene isn’t here this week. Regal admits that it was his idea for Eugene to come out there last week and actually brings up their tag team in WCW. People like them are just born naughty and if it was anyone else but Eugene, Regal would have applauded what HHH did. If HHH wants a fight tonight, Regal will go put his gear on and fight him with every ounce of violent venom in his body. As usual, Regal’s fire was awesome here and it’s turning him into something.

After that fired up promo, we go to the Diva Search girls for the elimination. It’s Camille, one of the blondes. Good for her. Anyway, tonight the remaining women can have 20 seconds each to campaign for why they should stick around.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Non-title. The fight is on before the bell with Tajiri throwing Grenier inside for some kicks to the back. Rhyno hits a flying shoulder and Tajiri adds a running dropkick as Conway still can’t get his jacket off. A double flapjack drops Grenier and there’s the handspring elbow. Rhyno Gores Conway and Tajiri sunset flips Grenier for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long but they packed a ton of stuff into it.

Randy Orton says it was his destiny to lose the Intercontinental Title so he can become the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history. Brock Lesnar did it when he was 25 but Orton is only 24. Orton has killed off one legend after another and that’s what he’s going to do to Chris Benoit at Summerslam. Nice little promo here.

Smackdown Rebound.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Lita and, after getting rid of Stacy Keibler, tells her that he wants them to be together. Like, they should get married. I don’t see this going well.

Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey

…..run away while you still can. Rosey has Stacy with him just because. Tomko’s headlock doesn’t last long so he forearms Rosey in the back a few times. That earns him a trip to the floor and Stacy stretches to the fans’ delight. Back in and Tomko chokes on the ropes but charges into a boot in the corner. Rosey drops a leg and Stacy does a cartwheel with her skirt flying up. Just in case you thought she had any value otherwise. The spinning legdrop gets two and let’s get a slow motion replay of the cartwheel. A Trish Stratus distraction lets Tomko kick Rosey in the face for the pin.

Rating: D-. I used to be a big Stacy fan but time has not been kind to her. She’s literally just there for her looks and that’s all she has going for her. I know the women’s division isn’t much, but keeping people like her around hasn’t aged well when you can see what the women’s division can become. That role can be done well by the right people, but Stacy just wasn’t that good. The match on the other hand was as bad as you would have guessed.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Jericho wastes no time in bringing out Edge as his guest. Edge very reluctantly shakes his hand, which isn’t a good sign when they’re in a tag match tonight. Jericho gets right to the point by announcing Edge defending the title at Summerslam against himself and Batista. We move on to the battle royal last week and Edge isn’t happy about Jericho eliminating him. Edge thought they were friends after they got rid of five guys together but then Jericho couldn’t put his ego aside.

That’s why Orton is getting the title shot at Summerslam because he threw Jericho out. Edge: “I haven’t seen you get dumped that badly since Trish Stratus.” Jericho talks about Edge’s theme song saying “you think you know me”. Well Edge is going to know Jericho when he takes the Intercontinental Title. The fight is on with Edge hitting a spear and destroying the set. Edge grabs a chair but throws it down, probably due to the two of them being in a tag match tonight. Jericho doesn’t want to be helped up though and drops Edge with a right. If Edge wasn’t a heel yet, he’s right on the brink and not a minute too soon.

How to vote for the Diva Search eliminations.

HHH vs. William Regal

Regal is busted open and HHH makes it worse by pulling out the sledgehammer. Regal knocks him down though and grabs the knuckles but walks into the sledgehammer to the head to make the bleeding even worse. Referees come out and Regal does a stretcher job (while saying Chris, his wife’s name, over and over in a nice touch) but HHH turns it over in a heel move that will always work. Good landing from Regal and HHH came off like the really evil version, even if it’s setting up a match with Eugene.

Post break, Eric Bischoff makes HHH vs. Eugene for Summerslam. Joy.

And now, the Diva Search campaigning.

Joy wants to be a Diva because she wants to be in front of a crowd.

Amy wants to be a Diva because she’s here for the long haul and will spank Evolution.

Chandra wants to win because this fits her personality so well.

Carmella wants to be a Diva because….well she doesn’t actually say as she’s just saying how great the fans are.

Tracy wants to be a Diva because she’ll fight hard and dirty. She strips as she talks and gives the number to call to vote for her in a smart idea.

Maria wants to be a Diva because this seems to be a fun place to work and they support the troops.

Christy wants to be a Diva because she has a lot of energy and wants to live this life.

Michelle wants to be a Diva because she’s been a huge wrestling fan since she was six and this is her dream.

They kept things shorter and WAY less dumb this week but that just brings it up to a waste of time instead of an all time disaster.

Kane chokes Lita and promises to get to Matt at Summerslam. Their match is official and Lita says Matt can beat him again. She’s so sure that she’ll marry the winner. Kane says it’s a pity that Lita won’t be able to wear white on their wedding day. Lita slaps him and he laughs.

Kane vs. Maven

Maven starts fast with a spinwheel kick and a pair of dropkicks to put Kane on the floor. The dive is kicked out of the air and the real beating begins. Back in and the chokeslam finishes Maven in a hurry. Just a squash, which makes Maven’s not bad performance last week seem like a waste.

Post match Kane says that’s what he’s going to do to Matt at Summerslam in the Til Death Do Us Part match.

The Diva Search girls do their bikini thing. They’ve managed to have this lose its impact.

Evolution vs. Chris Benoit/Edge/Chris Jericho

Edge runs by his partners and starts slugging away at Orton before choking with the t-shirt. It’s off to Jericho for a suplex to Orton and some chops to Flair. The fellow Canadians get in some shots from the apron and there’s the Flair Flop. Flair gets back up and spits at Benoit, which you know is going to bring him in. Some chops are no sold and Flair pokes him in the eye, only to get caught in a backslide for two. It’s off to Batista for the big shoulders in the corner and a good looking side slam.

Flair comes back in for the Figure Four to make Orton rather happy, but Flair makes the mistake of slapping Benoit in the face. That’s enough to fire up the comeback but Batista isn’t about to allow the hot tag. A basement dropkick to Batista’s head has no effect so Benoit avoids a charge to send him shoulder first into the post instead. That’s enough for the hot tag to Jericho who can’t get the Walls on Batista. He can however hit the running crotch attack to the back, followed by the Lionsault for one as everything breaks down. The Canadians clean house and we take a break.

Back with Orton holding Edge in a chinlock and Flair coming in for some shots to the face. A clothesline takes Edge down and Flair, never one to learn, goes up top and gets slammed off in short order. It’s off to Orton vs Jericho with the backbreaker taking Jericho down to put Evolution right back in control. The fans want tables (oh come on) as Jericho can’t get the Walls. What he can get is a tag to Benoit, who chops away at Flair in the corner and knocks him out to the floor.

Batista comes in instead and is put straight into the Crossface (JR: “That’ll bring you to your milk!”) with Orton making a save. Batista has to do the same to get Flair out of the Walls and a spinebuster plants Jericho. That gives Batista two and it’s off to Orton for a knee drop into some choking. The hard chinlock goes on for a good minute plus before Jericho comes back with the sleeper drop. It’s too early for the big hot tag though so Batista bends Jericho’s back over the knee instead. Jericho finally gets free and knocks Batista down, allowing the hot tag to Benoit so house can be cleaned for real.

The rolling German suplexes take care of Orton and Flair is sent outside. Batista sends Jericho into Edge though before blasting Jericho with the huge clothesline. More German suplexes get Benoit out of trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on Flair, only to have Orton score with the RKO and pin Benoit.

Rating: B+. I’m really going to miss these Canada vs. Evolution matches when they’re gone because any combination of them works so well together. This was more great action until the storyline advancing ending and that’s all you could ever want. While it’s not quite enough to save the full show, this was another great main event in a series between any mixture of these guys.

Overall Rating: B. The main event carries the show but there was other good stuff to fill in the night. They made sure to not have as much stuff focusing on Eugene, which helps a lot as well. The problem there though is Eugene has to face HHH at some point and things are going to fall apart from there. Other than that, the only bad things on the show were the Divas and Tomko vs. Rosey, making for a pretty easy night. Now if only Summerslam can live up to the hype.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 2004
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now you might not believe this, but it’s a HHH night as he gets another (yes another) World Title shot, this time in a sixty minute Iron Man Match. Normally I would say that this has to be it for HHH’s time near the title but you know that’s not going to be the case. Other than that I’m sure we’re in for a night full of the Diva Search girls because they dominated last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

And yeah we open with the Diva Search girls being introduced in the back as Julia is eliminated. She’s the good looking blonde one in a revealing outfit who smiles a lot. Totally different from the good looking blonde ones in revealing outfits who smile a lot. After she’s gone, Coach says that tonight, their task is to verbally seduce a WWE superstar. Oh geez is THIS show.

Video on the Iron Man match, which is either the same video from Vengeance or very similar, with a bonus part about tonight at the end.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Edge, Tyson Tomko, Sylvan Grenier, Robert Conway, Stevie Richards, Hurricane, Maven, William Regal, Rodney Mack, Randy Orton, Tajiri, Rhyno, Rosey, Val Venis, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Hardy, Chris Jericho, Kane, Batista, Ric Flair

Edge gets the first entrance and we see about a dozen people in the ring. Since JR is slow at times, he seems confused as to why Edge is here as well. Eric Bischoff comes out to say the winner gets the World Title shot at Summerslam. Minor note here: the wrestlers didn’t know why they were in the ring or what they were fighting for. Venis was very happy about the news and looked fired up to get a shot. That’s the kind of realistic reaction that you don’t get in today’s overly scripted world. Or maybe he’s just a better actor.

Jericho and Tomko start fighting before the bell and it’s Evolution jumping on Regal for the first elimination. Edge and Jericho clothesline Tomko out and a spear puts Palumbo (He still has a job?) down, followed by a toss out. Jericho walks into the RKO and Evolution tries to get rid of him with Edge making a logical save. We take a break and come back with a very excited JR telling us that Venis and Hardy were put out during the commercial at Kane’s hands. Matt came back in to get after Kane but couldn’t get rid of him. Maybe that’s why Lita cheated on him.

Back to live action with Hurricane being thrown out and Rosey eliminating Mack and Richards. Jericho gets sent to the apron and low bridges Rosey so Edge can dropkick him out. Tajiri saves Rhyno from Au Revoir and kicks La Resistance out. For some reason Tajiri tries the Tarantula on Kane and gets eliminated for his stupidity. Kane powerslams Maven and Flair goes up, with Edge slamming him down instead of knocking him off due to reasons of Flair is too old to take a bump like that.

Another spear hits Kane but he sits up next to the ropes. We take another break and come back with no extra eliminations, meaning it’s Batista, Orton, Flair, Edge, Jericho, Maven, Rhyno and Kane as this is certainly getting some time. Kane starts cleaning house and shrugs off Flair’s chops, setting up a good chokeslam. We get the required battle of the bulls with Batista and Kane with a spinebuster taking Kane down.

That earns him a Gore, to one heck of a reaction. There’s a good lesson there about protecting a move, as Rhyno hasn’t won a big match in forever but the Gore is still viewed as devastating so people still buy it. Maven throws Flair out but Rhyno Gores him as well. That’s it for Rhyno though as Batista throws him out and we’re down to six. Everyone gets together to eliminate Kane and Orton drops Maven ribs first onto the top rope for an elimination.

Edge and Jericho get rid of Batista, with Orton seeming to see what happened and not doing anything about it. The partnership doesn’t last long though as Jericho tosses Edge and we’re down to Jericho and Orton. A spinebuster takes Jericho down and a catapult puts Jericho on the ropes but he gets back in. Orton saves himself as the fans are behind Jericho (well duh).

Some skinning of the cat lets Jericho get back in (Orton: “Mother******!”) and they fight on the apron. The slugout gives us some near eliminations with both guys having one leg go near the floor. Orton gets back in but scores with an RKO over the middle rope, followed by a dropkick for the win. Just like at Wrestlemania, Orton seems shocked that he won, which makes sense given how young he still is.

Rating: B-. They did well with this as the action was good and, as tends to be the key to battle royals, the extra time allowed the drama to build up. You can only get things going so well when the match is ten minutes long and that wasn’t an issue here. Orton winning is a nice surprise, as you absolutely have to try someone new at some point and with the long Intercontinental Title reign and rematch out of the way, there isn’t really anything else for him to do but move up to the main event.

And now, the Diva Search girls get twenty seconds each to verbally seduce…..Kamala. This results in some horrible acting (yeah I know), Kamala shouting and slapping his stomach a lot, and the girls wondering how they got talked into this. Michelle goes first and says Kamala could teach her a thing or two and…..oh dear how many of them are left? Christy asks if she can show him how a body slam works because she’s new at wrestling.

Camille says he has beautiful hands as there isn’t a lot of seducing going on around here. Maria asks Kamala if he knows what verbally seducing means. Maybe he knows it better than any of the girls so far. Maria: “Is that what you do? You pound your belly?” Tracy does lines from the Nutty Professor and laughs a lot. Carmella laughs too and says that Kamala is so hot, sounding like she’s about to cry.

Chandra screams upon seeing Kamala and pulls at her top a bit. Amy, in a tied off Hines Ward jersey to a big pop, promises that she would rock Kamala’s world and dances against him a bit. Finally (thank goodness), Joy thinks Kamala is from Hawaii and asks to slap his belly. Joy: “Do the WWE dance.” That was the most grueling 7:33 of my life and THIS IS GOING TO KEEP GOING FOR HOW MANY MORE WEEKS??? This is the kind of thing that would embarrass me if a non-wrestling fan saw me watching it and that’s about as low as you can get. Side note: did any of these people know who Kamala was? Like, any one of them?

Smackdown Rebound. I’ve never been so happy to see JBL.

Clip of some WWE personalities at the Democratic National Convention in Boston for another voting drive. Nothing wrong with that, even though Linda McMahon is there. Hearing Stacy Keibler talking about the economy is….weird.

Diva Search. Swimsuits. How to vote. More time wasted. Each one of them gets their own phone number for the voting as this eats up even more time.

Flair and Batista congratulate Orton on his win until HHH comes in. Orton is ready to face him for the World Title at Summerslam and wishes him good luck tonight, which HHH eventually accepts. He doesn’t need luck though.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is challenging in a sixty minute Iron Man match. After a rules explanation (with overtime promised in the event of a draw), we’re ready to go with a lockup around the ring. HHH gets in a slap to the face as the feeling out process continues. Benoit’s headlock is countered into a top wristlock with Benoit bridging back up (always cool) but not being able to get the Crossface.

That’s enough for HHH to take a breather on the floor as the time filler is completely acceptable here. Back in and the threat of a Pedigree has Benoit running for the ropes as a random HHH chant starts up. Benoit can’t get the Crossface so he settles for another headlock. The Crossface sends HHH running outside again as we’re five minutes in.

Benoit goes after the knee this time with a legdrag and some cannonballs down onto the leg. HHH gets a boot up in the corner and hits a DDT to cut Benoit off. The Pedigree is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt which is countered into the Crossface as we’re ten minutes in. HHH tries to roll out but gets rolled up to put Benoit up 1-0 with 49:50 to go.

Benoit – 1, HHH – 0

Back from a break with Benoit holding a chinlock with 46:15 to go. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a German suplex gets the same. The abdominal stretch goes on as I wait for the Wilbur Snyder reference. HHH finally gets it over to the ropes and hiptosses Benoit over, sending him back first onto the apron. Back in and a heck of an Irish whip into the corner puts Benoit (bleeding from the mouth) down.

Another whip is reversed to flip HHH over the corner and there’s the dive through the ropes with Benoit crashing hard into the barricade. We take another break with both guys down on the floor and come back with about 37:00 minutes left. HHH blocks a Sharpshooter attempt so Benoit softens up the knee a little bit more. Benoit channels his inner HHH with a modified Indian deathlock, which suits him far better than HHH.

The Figure Four keeps the knee in trouble until HHH makes a rope. A hot shot onto the turnbuckle rocks Benoit for a delayed two with 33:00 to go. Benoit rolls the German suplexes and goes up but misses the Swan Dive. The Pedigree ties us up with….well there’s no clock but I’d assume about 31:00 to go.

Benoit – 1, HHH – 1

Benoit is down on the floor and HHH knees him back off the apron as we hit the halfway mark. HHH drops the still injured chest onto the steps and gets a countout with 28:45 to go.

HHH – 2, Benoit – 1

We take a break and come back with 25:21 to go as HHH whips him chest first into the buckle for two. HHH hammers away some more as King talks about voting for his favorite Diva. During a World Title match with the champion in trouble. Because WWE of course. Anyway HHH kicks him in the back and hits the spinebuster for another fall at 21:54 to go.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 1

We take another break and come back with Benoit hiptossing his way out of an abdominal stretch at 18:29. The Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter attempt. That works so well that they do it again, this time with the hold going on. HHH holds on for over a minute before finally tapping with 15:40 to go. That was some nice drama before the tap.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 2

HHH takes a breather on the floor so Benoit keeps him there with a baseball slide. Back in and the Crossface has HHH in more trouble but this time he gets a foot on the rope. Benoit slaps it on again and HHH taps to tie us up at 12:03 to go.

HHH – 3, Benoit – 3

With the score tied, Flair and Batista come out as we take what should be the final break. Back with 8:30 to go and HHH throws Benoit outside. A knee to the face keeps Benoit in trouble and Batista posts him behind the referee’s back to earn his keep. That’s enough to bust Benoit open and he’s thrown inside for two. HHH hammers away in the corner with 6:00 left. Some rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but the referee gets bumped.

The Crossface goes on so Evolution comes in, with Flair throwing in a chair so HHH can crack Benoit in the head. There’s no referee to count so HHH asks Benoit if he’s ok and covers with 4:30 to go. Cue Bischoff with a fresh referee for three straight near falls, drawing Flair back up to the apron. HHH throws the other referee to the floor and it’s Batista and Flair coming in to destroy Benoit again.

Eugene comes in for the save and of course he can beat up Flair, Batista and HHH on his own. Bischoff gets knocked off the apron with 2:30 to go and Eugene chairs HHH down. Benoit crawls over and, with Eugene throwing the referee back in, takes the lead with 6 seconds left and of course wins 4-3. That chair shot knocked HHH cold for over two minutes.

Rating: B. Normally you would think that there would be a lot to talk about in an Iron Man match but that’s not really the case here. It was just an extended version of any HHH vs. Benoit match. In other words, it’s entertaining and a good match, but it’s not like we haven’t seen any of this before. That leaves one thing to talk about it’s not good.

Eugene is completely done as a character as he’s gone from using his comedy style to beat up Rob Conway (fine) to beating up HHH and a mostly fresh Batista and Flair at the same time. Last week Benoit himself got his head handed to him by Batista and Flair is Flair, but Eugene can beat them all up without breaking a sweat? That’s the kind of thing that someone like Hogan, Austin, Rock or Cena should have trouble doing but Eugene did it here with almost no problem. That not only defeats the purpose of the character but goes WAY too far, and it’s going to be even worse when he faces HHH at Summerslam.

Eugene poses on the announcers’ table and a bunch of replays set up HHH glaring at Eugene to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. There are pretty much three segments on this show, giving you two strong matches that set up the Summerslam main event (plus at least one other match) and both of them were more than fine enough. The problem is the Diva Search stuff, which isn’t funny, isn’t likely drawing any extra fans, and is just showing how worthless these non-wrestlers really are.

The Raw women’s division isn’t great, but it serves a purpose that helps a wrestling show. This stuff is fan service that fills in time, which isn’t good for someone who wants to watch some wrestling around here. Keep those things to one minute segments and do the rest of the stuff on the website if you just have to have it. Last week on Smackdown, Kurt Angle fired four women for having no talents inside the ring. Now we have to see ten more complete for one spot for probably the next two months? That’s our big segment for the summer? I’m so thrilled. Anyway, good show this week, but fast forward through the Diva Search.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 25, 2003
Location: Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a very special show as it’s Christmas in Iraq for the first of a series later called Tribute to the Troops. Back in the day they actually went overseas for the shows, giving this a very special feeling indeed. The focus isn’t going to be on the wrestling tonight but rather the atmosphere as a whole, which is how things should be going for something like this. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the National Anthem, though not by Lilian Garcia for a change.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going and he’s staying in character with the scowl. That’s gone pretty quickly though as on behalf of freedom loving people around the world, WWE is hear to say thank you. Vince thanks everyone for their sacrifices and for protecting our great nation. Oh and thanks for catching Saddam. Vince wants to say one more thing….but here’s a rather rotund Santa Claus with bags of presents.

The presents aren’t for Vince though, because they’re for the troops. Santa starts handing out shirts from the bags but Vince wants him to come back in for one more thing. Vince wants his present and thinks it’s somewhere in Santa’s stomach. And why didn’t Santa come visit him when he was a kid? Vince shoves Santa over and the hat comes off….to reveal a bald head. There’s the Stunner and let’s drink some beer.

Austin isn’t done though and, while still wearing the furry Santa boots, says he’s going to go backstage and drink some more beer instead of hurting us by trying to sing Christmas carols. He thanks the troops and talks about how much WWE supports them before having the troops throw up the middle fingers to Saddam. Perfect way to open things up with one of the few timeless segments that will never stop working.

We see some of the wrestlers being told what to do if terrorists attack. That’s a rather sobering discussion.

Clip of the ring and arena being set up. The troops who helped got to sit in the front row.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw is in a helmet and flack jacket. Shelton takes Faarooq into the corner to start but gets taken down by a middle rope shoulder. Bradshaw comes in to forearm Haas in the back for two but has to let go of an early torture rack as Shelton tries to make a save. The Dominator doesn’t work on Haas and Shelton gets in a cheap shot to take over. Faarooq shoves Haas away and brings in Bradshaw to clean house. Everything breaks down and Shelton superkicks Bradshaw down. Not that it matters as Faarooq tosses Shelton to the floor, leaving Bradshaw to Clothesline Haas for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m going to be a lot nicer to the wrestling here as that’s not the point to a show like this one. This match was about letting the APA, a popular team, come in and get a quick win and to have Bradshaw, who was one of the big names behind the whole idea, out there as he should be. If nothing else, Bradshaw hitting a Clothesline that hard is going to get a reaction.

Austin gives Chris Benoit a pep talk before his match with Eddie Guerrero. That’s kind of an odd segment as it’s not like they’re great friends or anything.

Some troops say hi to their families.

Rikishi vs. Rhyno

Rhyno gets shoved away to start as the announcers talk about this being in the middle of an active war zone. Some kicks to the, ahem, thong arena, have Rikishi in some trouble but he stops a charge with a superkick. The announcers actually act like they’re there (commentary is being recorded in Connecticut), even talking about their clothes in the desert for a little flavor. The Rump Shaker hits raised knees but the Gore misses. Rikishi grabs a Samoan drop for the fast pin.

Post match, Rhyno takes a Stinkface and dancing ensues with some (armed) troops coming into the ring.

Video of wrestlers meeting troops.

Some wrestlers went up on a helicopter to another camp to meet more troops.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He wants to give Torrie Wilson a pearl necklace for Christmas but tonight he has to deal with Big Show. Sure he’s wrestling a giant but the real big show is in his crotch. Show is picking the wrong day to fight when Cena has all of the troops behind him and Saddam should be buried in a hole.

Now Austin gives Eddie Guerrero a pep talk. Apparently Benoit promised to lie, steal and cheat tonight. Eddie: “THAT’S MY STUFF!”

More troops say hello.

Wrestlers signed autographs and met troops at the other camp. Cena even had some battle raps.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start as Cole and Tazz go over the history between these two. Eddie starts in on the arm and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Benoit comes back with some forearms and Eddie grabs the referee’s waist for security. Hang on as a security helicopter flies over the ring so Eddie puts on a flack jacket. As you might expect, Eddie throws the jacket at Benoit and takes over with a dropkick.

They fall out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Benoit cranking on both arms as the fans chant for Eddie. That seems to do him some good as he sends Benoit into the corner to take over again but falls off the ropes on a sunset bomb attempt. The Three Amigos are countered into the Crossface but Eddie rolls over to the ropes.

Some rolling German suplex soften Eddie up a bit more and a shoulder breaker has the arm banged up even more. Benoit barely misses the Swan Dive but avoids the frog splash for another double knockdown. Back up and Eddie gets in a rollup with feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. That’s all you can ask for her with the two guys who know each other well enough to have a good match in their sleep. There were a few botches here but wrestling in that kind of heat in this kind of atmosphere isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The fans were more into Eddie anyway and it’s not like a win or a loss on this show means much.

Post match Eddie puts the jacket and helmet back on for a handshake.

We look at the opening segment again.

More soldiers say hello.

Another video on wrestlers meeting troops.

More soldiers say hello.

Wrestlers shoot guns with Big Show being the best shot.

Wrestlers visited wounded troops.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops.

One more video of troops saying hello to their families.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Say it with me: non-title. Cena gets chokeslammed about five seconds in and rolls to the floor for a breather. Back in and Show hits the overhand chop in the corner, followed by a hard headbutt to put Cena down. It’s off to the abdominal stretch for a few seconds but the ref gets kicked down. Show grabs the chain but gets kicked low, allowing Cena to hit him with the chain for two. Another chokeslam is countered into the FU to give Cena the pin.

Rating: C. I remember watching this match with my dad, who is one of those people who tends to not think much of wrestling because it’s fake. When Cena tossed Show onto his shoulders and flipped him over like it was nothing, my dad’s jaw dropped for a second. There’s nothing to the match of course and it’s not like Show losing means anything to his title reign, which is as unnecessary as any I can ever remember.

Post match Austin comes out to Stun both guys. Austin calls out the ladies and the locker room for one last celebration. One more Stunner to Big Show and beer consumption ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. As mentioned, the wrestling really isn’t the point to something like this. The wrestling is secondary to entertaining the troops and that’s what happened. It did exactly what it was designed to do and felt important, unlike what this show would eventually become. This had nothing to do with storylines and nothing was advanced, which didn’t need to be the case. It was a fun show and having Austin as a big star was the right call. Just let it be fun and come back home for the real stuff later on. And be glad La Resistance didn’t get squashed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2000
Location: McKenzie Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to it being Christmas recently. One night late in WCW’s dying days, Raw has a show on Christmas night. If I remember right, Nitro didn’t air and I don’t think many people noticed. This is a few weeks after Armageddon and the 6 man Cell match so we’re rolling towards New Orleans and the Rumble which was very good. Let’s get to it.

And no this isn’t live of course. It was taped the Saturday before.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. You know, the implants with a McMahon attached. She looks great though. The McMahons are celebrating Christmas at the moment, with Vince volunteering at a soup kitchen in Greenwich and HHH sending Steph here. Even Stephanie is getting into it, making something that reminds her of her mother: a fruitcake. We get a clip from the end of Smackdown, which is Rock and Undertaker arguing over something. Therefore tonight it’s Rock vs. Taker.

She brings out Edge and Christian with Angle as well. Angle is in his first reign as world champion while the Canadians are tag champions. Edge wishes Stephanie a Merry Christmas but they’re sorry that Foley isn’t here due to being fired last week. Christian insults Chattanooga for a bit and talks about Smackdown, which we see a clip from showing Edge pinning Rock to win the tag titles.

Angle does the same but with his own brand of humor. He’s given himself a Christmas gift and has flown out his family. Here’s an army of people that all look like Kurt. He introduces all of his family and all of their accomplishments. He talks about hitting Foley with a chair so the fans chant for Foley. Stephanie reminds us that he’s fired and the fans boo Kurt’s family. They sing Walkin In A Winter Wonderland until Jericho FINALLY cuts them off.

He tells Angle to shut up. Jericho liked the singing but instead it should have been the Twelve Days of Christmas. We have six Angles who will never be a laying, two valley girls and Stephanie, who gets all of her usual insults, in a a pear tree. For Christmas, Jericho wants the world title, and he wants it tonight. Angle yells but Stephanie cuts him off. The title shot is denied but instead it’s a six man: Angle/Canadians vs. Jericho/whatever team Chris wants. Jericho says that’s nice but he didn’t get anything for Stepahanie. What do you get for someone who’s had everyone? Jericho implies the Dudleys will be his partners.

Kurt gives his family a tour of the arena and runs into K-Kwik (R-Truth) and that’s about it.

Hardy Boys vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Benoit is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. In the back, Matt tells Lita to stay in the back because she’ll get hurt. Lita goes anyway. Big brawl to start and Malenko pulls Benoit to the floor. Jeff is like cool man and hits a huge Poetry in Motion to the floor. That looked awesome. Benoit SNAPS off a dragon screw on Jeff’s leg to take over. That looked sick. Malenko works on the knee a bit as well but Jeff gets a SWEET spinning leg sweep cradle for two. A double dropkick puts the Radicalz down and it’s off to Matt. Everything breaks down and Lita hits Dean low. Top rope legdrop ends this.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the knee stuff was great. By that I mean one move but you get the idea. This would lead to Dean getting a date with Lita which wound up in a hotel room and Lita in some very nice lingerie. Anyway, not much to see here but it was nice to get the Hardys away from the Dudleys and Canadians.

Post match Matt gets put in the Texas Cloverleaf and Lita in the Crossface.

Post break Lita is being checked on when Benoit jumps Matt again.

Rock arrives and doesn’t care to hear about his match with Taker.

Debra is still Lieutenant Commissioner but it’s not fun without Foley anymore. She makes a triple threat Hardcore Title match with Raven, Blackman and Holly.

Vince calls Stephanie on voicemail and likes the match. He says he has to do something real quick at the soup kitchen but Trish’s voice is heard giggling.

We get a clip of Austin getting chokeslammed by Kane and then Austin demanding a match with him, which he gets tonight. Austin says he’ll beat Kane up tonight.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is champion. Raven and Holly get into it before Steve gets there. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as it’s your usual one guy gets knocked down, the other two fight, the third makes the save. The challengers fight into the crowd but Blackman beats them both down out there. They go under the stage and into the back where Raven beats up what appears to be some stagehands. They go outside and Raven is thrown down some stairs. Holly finds a random 2×4 and swings at Blackman. He misses though and Blackman hits a German onto the hood of a car to retain.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, once you’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all. It’s just basic brawling with weapons that goes nowhere and then they have the ending. They had beaten this so far into the ground but by keeping it down to like three minutes per match, I think it’s ok.

Blackman is walking back to the locker room but Raven hits him with a board and steals the title.

The XFL is coming. OH YEAH!

Here’s Regal who is European Champion. Little trivia for you: he’s one of only two Europeans to hold that title. He blasts Americans for awhile until Kane comes out for his match. Ok then.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

Brawl to start with Austin hammering him into the corner. Regal is on commentary. A clothesline puts Kane down and another puts him on the floor. Austin gets pulled out there and Kane takes over. Regal gets up for some reason and Austin takes him down as well. Austin stomps on both of them as this is a total brawl. Back in the ring a big boot puts Austin down and they slow down.

A second boot is blocked and Austin goes for the knee. Kane fights back and wraps Austin’s leg around the post. Lawler says Kane is the official first entrant in the Rumble. Back in the top rope clothesline gets two. After a suplex gets two it’s a bearhug. Austin comes back with the Thesz Press and the elbow. Chokeslam, Stunner and Tombstone are countered until a Stunner hits. Regal pops up on the apron and Kane gets up. Regal finally gets in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was fine. It was just a brawl that ran about seven and a half minutes and that’s all it really needed to be. The interesting thing is you could easily compare this to a lot of Cena’s matches on Raw today. There wasn’t anything to it for the most part and there wasn’t supposed to be. However Cena gets blasted for it and Austin is one of the most popular stars ever. Go figure.

Regal tries to bring in a chair but Austin clocks both guys with it instead.

Taker says he isn’t surprised by having to fight Rock later. He says Rock has the bark but he has the bite. Taker is still face here.

Cue The Kat in a robe. She has a gift with her. She gets in front of the announce table and grabs a mic. The gift is for JR and it’s the latest Divas video. As for King, Kat gets on the table and pulls the robe open to reveal some red lingerie. She shows the crowd too. Jerry gets a kiss also.

Stephanie barges in on T&A who says Trish isn’t here. She leaves and they imply Trish is with Vince.

Angle calls his parents as his brothers/cousin watch. Well that was pointless.

Too Cool vs. T&A

Grandmaster vs. Test to start. Stephanie comes out to watch, probably because of the jokes T&A made after she left. Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick and it’s off to Scotty so he can get beaten up for awhile. Albert comes in and Scott can’t do anything. Baldo (Albert) Bomb gets two as Grandmaster makes the save. Scotty gets in some kicks and a forearm to set up a double tag. Everything breaks down and Scotty sets for the Worm. Test kicks Scotty’s head off after it hits. He sets for the ending but Stephanie distracts him, allowing Grandmaster to roll up Test for the win.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this one at all. This whole show has felt like it’s just a labor to get through and that’s not good. To be fair though it’s Christmas night so it’s not like anyone is watching. Stephanie came in to mess with them, presumably to cost Trish’s team, but this went nowhere.

Post break, Albert comes in to talk with Stephanie. He offers his services to Stephanie for whatever she needs.

Chris Jericho/Dudley Boys vs. Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian

Jericho and Christian start things off. The fans want tables and Jericho tries a quick Walls attempt but settles for a slingshot into a rollup for two instead. D-Von and Edge come in and things speed up. Bubba comes in and does his always funny yelling. What’s Up to Edge. It’s Table Time already and everything breaks down on the outside. Edge hammers on Bubba but it’s quickly off to Christian.

The beating goes on for about 20 seconds before it’s off to Jericho and Angle. Jericho gets in a fight with Angle’s family who is all in the front row. The Dudleys put one of them through a table. The Dudleys and the Canadians fight up the ramp and Jericho hits a missile dropkick for no cover but the Lionsault eats knees. Angle Slam (and a good one too) beats Jericho.

Rating: C. This was going on so fast that it was hard to tell if it was good or bad. It certainly wasn’t boring and the big stuff looked pretty good. I liked it for the most part but much like the rest of this show and the show overall, it came and went and that’s all there really is to say about it.

The Angle family beats him down but the Dudleys make the save.

Edge and Christian say they’ll get the Dudleys for what they did.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

We get a video of Chyna taking a spike piledriver and injuring her neck. She had an MRI so we get a sitdown interview with her. Short version: I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m successful outside the ring, I don’t like RTC, I’ll be back but not against men. Somehow that took six minutes.

Rock is in the back and cuts Kevin Kelly off because they are chanting his name. He gives his version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and sings to Undertaker a bit too.

Undertaker vs. The Rock

I’ve never really seen these two have a good match so maybe this is the exception. Taker pounds him down and knocks Rock to the floor with one punch. Rock gets dropped onto the barricade and the table as JR is running out of room to run. Back in the ring Rock fires off a few rights and the jumping clothesline to take over. Swinging neckbreaker gets no cover but a Russian legsweep gets two.

Taker gets in a big boot and pounds away on the back. They mess up something so Taker hits a side slam for two. DDT by Rock gets two. More back work by Taker and this match isn’t breaking the streak these two have. Oh joy: it’s a bearhug. Rock fights out and now Taker hits a DDT of his own for two. Chokeslam and Rock Bottom are countered but a chokeslam hits. No cover though because he wants a Last Ride. And here’s Rikishi to interfere. Spinebuster to Taker but Rikishi pulls the top rope down and Rock wins by REALLY LAME DQ.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. They walked around, punched each other a lot, and that’s about it. The really bad ending didn’t help anything at all but hey, Rikishi is a top heel right? They don’t really give a reason or a thought as to whether or not it would work, but he was the next guy to feud with Rock I believe. Give me a break.

Rikishi stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. OH MAN thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in longer than I can remember. Nothing happened here, no one cared, no one wanted to be on the show it seemed, and nothing here would have seemed to have mattered. That being said, it’s unlikely anyone watched it but if one person did, it beat Nitro that night. Horrible show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the road to Summerslam and the big story coming out of last week saw Evolution beat down pretty much everyone in sight, including Eugene. I’m not sure how this is going to go anywhere other than more HHH time, but why mess with what has worked so well? For HHH that is of course. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chris Benoit successfully defending the World Title against Eugene last week, leading to Evolution destroying the two of them plus William Regal. At least they finally got to the logical part of this rather over complicated story.

Say it with me: here’s HHH to open things up. HHH says he’s not too proud of what he did last week and it was probably even below him. It made him feel rotten but once he thought about it, of course he felt better because it’s just Eugene. He knows Eugene isn’t here tonight so get close to the TV and understand this: HHH hates him and so does Evolution. Everyone here hates Eugene and is embarrassed by him, even his mom.

Eugene has no business being here because he isn’t normal. Just in case Eugene still doesn’t get it, here’s a clip from after Raw with Regal and Benoit checking on Eugene and crying as he was taken out on a stretcher. HHH: “There’s no crying in wrestling!” This brings out Eric Bischoff, who is so proud of HHH that he’s giving him another World Title shot next week. As I sigh heavily, Bischoff makes it even worse by making it a sixty minute Iron Man match.

HHH has a busy night next week so he can have tonight off while Benoit faces Batista. After HHH promises some violence, here’s Regal to interrupt. He doesn’t like what HHH and Bischoff have done so the fight is on with Regal beating the heck out of HHH and sending him into the steps. Security takes him away and Regal’s bugging out eyes are a great visual, as tends to be the case for him.

Sylvan Grenier vs. Tajiri

A slam sets up the chinlock, which of course brings Tajiri right back to life. The handspring elbow sets up a superkick for two on Grenier and the Tarantula makes things even worse. The referee goes after Rhyno for some reason, allowing Conway to get in a flag shot. Grenier hits a faceplant and grabs the tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This was shockingly watchable and the best Grenier match I’ve ever seen (ok so there have been like two) with a decent little story and some nice action. That’s about as good as you can ask for from these two and the eventual title match should be fine. For an opening match, this was a rather nice little surprise.

Video on the weekend’s house shows. Attendance must be down again.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and the guests are the ten finalists in the Diva Search. Jericho plugs the voting opening tonight where you can pick your favorite but the one with the fewest votes is gone. The women get to introduce themselves and we have Michelle (McCool), Christy (Hemme), Julie (from Kentucky, as people should be), Camille, Maria (Kanellis), Tracie, Carmella (DeCesare), Chandra (the twin of the other one from Kentucky), Amy (Weber) and Joy (Giovanni), all of whom are booed out of the building.

Jericho gets to the point of tonight: there’s an immunity envelope in Eric Bischoff’s office and they’re all going to destroy the place to find it. Jericho marches them through the building to the office (Jericho: “I’m the Pied Piper but they’re not rats!”) and they eventually wreck the whole place, including going through Bischoff’s briefcase. This goes on way too long of course and I’m sure the fans who paid for tickets to the show are thrilled to watch a bad reality show segment on a video screen. King has a good question: “What does the immunity envelope look like?”

That’s not actually answered, but here’s Bischoff to yell at all of them for wrecking the office. As it turns out, there is no envelope because Bischoff is in charge of the whole contest and came up with the whole idea. They admit that Jericho put them up to it while doing their model stances and smirking through the entire thing. This is up there on the list of all time worst ideas in Raw history and it’s only going to get worse.

Tyson Tomko vs. Hurricane

Tomko has Trish with him so Hurricane debuts Stacy Keibler as his new manager. Stacy offers an early distraction but Tomko is fine enough to slam Hurricane off the top. The Blockbuster gets Hurricane out of trouble for a bit and a running dropkick sends Tomko into the corner. Trish goes after Hurricane so he grabs her hair, allowing Tomko to kick Hurricane in the face for the pin. Why debut the new manager if he’s going to lose in less than two minutes?

Post match Trish hits Stacy with the cast but here’s Rosey, now with an actual superhero costume, for the save. You could have done the same thing without Hurricane losing that way.

HHH talks to Batista about his upcoming match.

King reads some excerpts from Ric Flair’s book where he buries Bret Hart and Mick Foley. Probably just jealous that their books are better.

Chris Benoit vs. Batista

Non-title. The early chops just annoy Batista so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplexes instead. Batista is up too fast for the Swan Dive so Benoit goes with a basement dropkick. That doesn’t work either so Batista grabs a backbreaker to take him down. Benoit takes him down and tries a Sharpshooter but gets kicked away. The big German suplex sends Batista outside so Benoit tries the Crossface out there.

Since that would be a big waste of time, Batista shrugs him off and into the post to really take over. Back in and Batista chokes away before raining down right hands to the head. The fans get behind Benoit so Batista crushes his head with a knee. With Benoit’s comebacks getting on his nerves, Batista ties his foot on the rope and kicks Benoit in the head….for a DQ.

Rating: C+. That’s how you make Batista look like a monster as Benoit, even at his best, couldn’t do anything to stop him. Batista looked awesome here with some of the best stuff he’s done so far. His improvements over the last year, or even six months, have been nothing short of remarkable as he’s turned into one of the better monsters I’ve seen in a long time. Very entertaining match here, with Batista getting a lot out of it.

Post match Batista beats on Benoit even more, drawing some cheers (hometown boy might have something to do with it). JR points out that Batista never tried to pin him, because that wasn’t the point of the match.

During the break, Benoit could barely stand.

Lita talks to Matt Hardy in the back but he doesn’t have time for this whole thing. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation, which Lita can understand. One way or another, with or without him though, she’s having the baby. Has no one gotten a blood test yet?

Randy Orton isn’t happy with hearing about his loss because Edge is a fluke. Edge’s first Intercontinental Title reign lasted one day and Orton’s lasted seven months. Edge comes in and talks about Orton having self esteem issues. Edge: “I’d have self esteem issues too if my dad made his career being Roddy Piper’s personal b****.” The rematch is set for tonight.

How to vote in the Diva Search. This is edited out of the Network version.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho goes straight at him to start and Kane charges into a raised boot in the corner. That just annoys Kane, who drops some elbows for two. Kane misses a charge in the corner though and Jericho nails a top rope back elbow for two of his own. The Lionsault hurts Jericho’s knee though and they head outside where Jericho posts him a few times. An enziguri is enough to get Kane counted out in a bit of a surprising finish.

It’s so surprising that Bischoff says we’ll redo it as a falls count anywhere match with no countouts or DQ. Back from a break with Kane in control but getting low bridged to the floor. That means a big dive off the top for two on the floor so Kane drops him face first onto the barricade for the same. They fight into the crowd with Kane sending him into a barricade for two. A drop toehold sends Kane face first into a hockey board and a camera crane to the face makes it a lot worse. Cue Batista to blast Jericho with the clothesline and Kane gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here with Batista again getting a nice rub. Jericho could go toe to toe with Kane for a good while but Batista takes him out with a single clothesline? Speaking of which, it’s a clothesline, but they’re getting it over by having it be devastating. That’s the case with any move: let it win matches and the move will be over because wins and losses still matter to fans.

We go to some highlights from the Diva Search Casting Special, where all ten were chosen. In other words, it’s an excuse to have them all in swimsuits. That’s all well and good for one of these specials but keep it far off Raw, especially with the long segments.

Here they are again, this time in bikinis. In case you haven’t established that they look great yet.

Smackdown Rebound.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Edge

Edge is defending after winning the title last week. Orton takes him down in very short order and it’s already a staredown. This time it’s Edge wrestling him down and it’s an exchange of waistlocks. They both try dropkicks for another stalemate until Orton sends Edge to the apron where he snaps Randy’s arm over the rope. Orton takes him to the floor and drops Edge back first onto the barricade to send Edge into the crowd. That allows Orton to pose a bit (a specialty) before we take a break.

Back with Orton twisting Edge’s neck and dropping a knee for two. The chinlock goes on so Orton can rip at Edge’s face until the comeback is on. They hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown but Edge scores with a big boot. An Oklahoma roll gives Edge two and he spears Orton out to the floor for a crash into the barricade. Back in and Edge scores with the missile dropkick for two more.

The regular spear misses so Edge settles for a neckbreaker for another near fall. The referee gets bumped and that means it’s time to grab a chair. Edge cuts him down with the spear but there’s still no referee. Orton’s low blow into an RKO gets the very slow two and Edge is right back with another spear for another near fall. Another RKO is countered into a backslide and Edge throws his feet onto the ropes for the pin (cheating again).

Rating: B. I liked it better than the Vengeance match because it cut out the long and boring sequence at the start to get us straight to the awesome stuff that these two can do against each other. Edge cheating is still weird to see in his current run, but hopefully it’s leading somewhere. Good, solid, back and forth match here as both guys continue to look great.

Edge points to his head and the announcers plug the Iron Man match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The Diva Search stuff killed the show but Batista got a nice push and the main event was very good. Other than that though, it’s a pretty forgettable show without much of interest going on. HHH going after the World Title again was expected but it was nice to have Eugene gone for a week. He’s already overstayed his welcome (at least this version of him has) so cutting down on him for a week or two is a good idea. Not a very good show, but it had good parts when you ignore all the bad ideas.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 12, 2004
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and while Chris Benoit is still World Champion, the big story is HHH (yeah yeah of course it is) and Eugene, who cost HHH the title with an accidental chair shot. I’m sure we now get to see the REAL HHH as he wants to get his revenge for his plan screwing up, which will in no way shape or form dominate the show for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Evolution in the back with HHH saying hands off Eugene tonight because he gets him first. Batista wants him first because he had to take Eugene to Chuck E. Cheese. Everyone protests and HHH says he had it worst out of all of them because he’s HHH and it’s always about him. A very sad looking Eugene comes in but HHH smiles at him. Everyone makes mistakes and friends are friends. HHH isn’t mad at him but Eric Bischoff probably is.

Eugene has to go see him now and leaves, so Orton asks the obvious question: when do we get to go to Chuck E. Cheese? Or maybe that’s what I’d ask. Orton asks WHY ARE THEY NOT DESTROYING EUGENE (I’d like to know myself) but HHH says that once they see what Bischoff has in mind for Eugene, it’ll make sense. So if HHH knows, why is he not telling them? You mean this hasn’t been mentioned all day? I know HHH likes to have these huge schemes but at this point, it’s getting so stupid that it’s out of character for him.

Opening sequence.

Edge vs. Batista

Non-title. JR and King are already putting over Orton vs. Edge as an all time classic and I still don’t get it. Yeah it was long, but that doesn’t mean it was some masterpiece, especially with that much chinlocking. Batista shoves him down a few times to start so Edge tries a headlock for the slightest bit more of success. By that I mean it lasts all of ten seconds before Batista shoves him away again. This time it’s some right hands to the head for little effect as Batista gets in his own shot to the head to take over.

Choking both in the corner and on the ropes fire Edge up for some reason and it’s a middle rope ax handle to stagger Batista. A hard whip into the corner slows Edge down but he drop toeholds Batista face first into the middle buckle. Edge dropkicks him out to the floor and here’s Orton as we take a break. Back with Batista cranking on both arms and Orton already having been ejected. Geez Earl give him some time.

Edge fights up and King starts plugging the upcoming Divas Search segment. A side slam plants the champ again and we hit the camel clutch (which shows off Batista’s wedding ring). Batista lets go so he can shout at Edge and crash down onto his back again, because he’s learning how to be a villain just that fast. The Edge O Matic gets Edge out of trouble again and the Edgecution connects for two.

Batista sidesteps the spear though and it’s a spinebuster for two more. A Stunner over the ropes drops Batista one more time and a missile dropkick gives Edge yet another near fall. Edge tries the spear again but gets caught in a spinebuster, only to climb over Batista and roll him up with a grab of the rope for the pin.

Rating: B. Total heel move here for Edge, as he and Batista were even again after Orton’s quick ejection. I know it’s not a heel turn but that was about as clear cheating as you can get. That issue aside, this was a heck of a match here with Batista looking WAY ahead of where he should be at this stage of his career. He’s picked it up in a very fast hurry and he’s becoming a lot of fun to watch every time he’s out there. Edge needing to cheat to win is a great sign for Batista and a sign that WWE understands that Edge’s face run isn’t exactly working.

Eugene comes in to see Bischoff….who is very proud of him. He was proud of Eugene for doing a great job last week so tonight, Eugene can have a title shot against Benoit. So HHH’s plan is to have Eugene win the title, likely through help from Evolution, and then take the title himself. In other words, exactly what Vengeance should have been but with Evolution destroying Benoit instead of Eugene? Am I missing something here?

Lawler is on the stage and gets to introduce three of the finalists in the Diva Search before the casting special on Thursday. First up is Candice Michelle, who was in Dodgeball and will be in the Lingerie Bowl. That gets a reaction, even though it’s about seven months away. Oh and she can touch her tongue to her nose. I guess we get to waste time with the others later.

Flair isn’t happy about Eugene getting a title shot but he’s happy about his autobiography being a success. He’s still not done ranting about Eugene though because last week he played Ring Around the Rosey. Again, it was a bunch of chairs in a ring and Rosey was nowhere to be seen. Hurricane comes in to say that while he shouldn’t be seen conversing with Flair, he’d like an autograph in his copy of Flair’s book.

Flair says not so fast because Hurricane is a joke in a stupid costume. Hurricane isn’t even upset because it’s not as good as Rock’s book. Or Hogan’s book. Or even CHYNA’S book. Dang when is the last time you heard her name on Raw? Flair drops him with one punch and the match is made for tonight. Ric punching out a comedy guy seems like the most Flair thing he could do.

Rhyno vs. Robert Conway

Tajiri is here to counter Sylvan Grenier. Rhyno gets caught in a headlock to start and a hair pull takes him down to the mat. Conway sends him outside for some assisted stomping and it’s already off to the chinlock. Rhyno’s comeback doesn’t take long and it’s a backdrop into a belly to belly for two. The spinebuster makes things worse but Grenier grabs Rhyno’s foot. Tajiri SMASHES him in the back of the head with a kick (that looked great) and now the Gore connects to give Rhyno the pin.

Rating: D. No time for this to go anywhere but it did what it needed to do and an awesome kick to the head. It’s not like there are any other teams to fight for the titles at the moment and Tajiri and Rhyno don’t have anything else going on. There’s nothing wrong with throwing two people together into a team, even if it’s for a one off title match.

Tyson Tomko vs. Maven

Trish Stratus and Nidia are here as well. Tomko throws him around to start and gets two off a fall away slam. Nidia grabs the foot though and it’s time for some stalking, allowing Maven to knock him off the apron. Back in and Tomko drops him throat first across the top but gets dropkicked for two. A Trish distraction doesn’t work and Tomko kicks Maven in the head for the pin. Way messier than it should have been but as bad as I was expecting.

William Regal comes in to see Benoit and says that while he knows Benoit doesn’t like him, Eugene is a different story. HHH and Evolution are inside Eugene’s head and Regal just wants him to be ok. Benoit cares about Eugene but tonight it’s about the World Heavyweight Title and he’ll do whatever it takes to retain. Regal looks nervous.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Jericho lists off some of his career accomplishments but last week he topped it all by winning MUSICAL CHAIRS BABY! As fun as that was, we have some serious issues to deal with tonight. That’s why we’re dealing with things right here, so here’s Kane as the first guest. Kane, with the mic not working very well, says he doesn’t like Jericho making fun of him. Other than that though, he’s not happy with Lita for costing him the match at Vengeance against Matt Hardy.

Kane demands she come out here right now so here’s Lita. She’s made him angry and bad things happen when he gets angry. Lita doesn’t want to hear about this because Kane isn’t going to do a thing. If Kane wants to talk about suffering, it’s possibly being impregnated by a man you despise. Or having the one man you love not speaking to you. Or waking up not knowing who the father of your baby is. Kane smiles and says he’ll just take this out on Matt because he has the power to create and end life. Lita still isn’t scared because Kane couldn’t be the baby’s father since he’s not man enough to be.

She leaves so Kane starts breaking things, with Jericho going over to save the Jeritron 5000. Kane throws him out and leaves but Jericho wants to fight. Jericho accuses Kane of leaving prematurely, just like everything else he does prematurely. Jericho: “You just got punked out by a chick! Lawler, you can cancel this Diva Search because we just found a winner!” The insults keep coming until a question about Kane’s manhood bring him back.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Kane holding a chinlock until Jericho fights up and dropkicks him into the corner. A high crossbody gives Jericho two but Kane drops him throat first across the top. Jericho’s ribs are bent around the post and a side slam sets up a weird looking cover for two. Some knees to the back keep Jericho in trouble and the bearhug makes it even worse.

Jericho fights up and hits a running crotch attack to the back, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air and they’re both down. Back up and Jericho avoids a running big boot in the corner so the Walls can go on. That lasts all of five seconds as Kane is too close to the rope. And with nothing else working, Kane punches him low for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here until the ending. It’s a good idea to have Kane switch over to fighting someone else instead of facing Hardy again the night after losing to him at Vengeance. That’s something that WWE almost refuses to do today. Let them have a one off match like this to keep the feud a little more fresh. Why can’t that be the case more often?

Post match Kane chokeslams Jericho and the referee at the same time.

Lawler brings out the second Diva Search contestant: Nina Harden, who plays to the crowd and smiles a lot. She also makes her own clothes because she’s passionate about them. Lawler has her dance a bit and that’s it, thank goodness. It takes something extra stupid to make a good looking woman dancing boring and they’ve made it work.

Smackdown Rebound.

Ric Flair vs. Hurricane

Hurricane hammers him down to start and that means a Flair Flop. Back up and Flair sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Chops set up the knee drop and it’s right back to the arm in a smart move. Hurricane fights back and sends him over the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor and Flair’s ear is bleeding.

A low blow gets Flair out of trouble but Hurricane kicks him in the face. The Blockbuster gets two so Hurricane goes up again, allowing Flair to crotch him back down. The standard leg work begins but this time Flair takes him outside for a right hand to the knee to add a little flavor. A knee drop sets up the Figure Four and Hurricane taps completely clean.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one with Flair just doing his old stuff and winning clean. The problem is that it’s Flair in there with a guy like Hurricane, who should be more than a guy tapping out to Flair in 2004. This was pretty lame stuff and felt like filler, which isn’t a good sign for someone who is part of the top heel faction.

Clip from a Smackdown Your Vote rally.

It’s time for the third Diva Search hopeful: Carmella DeCesare, who talks about her puppies. They would be a chocolate lab and a poodle. Lawler: “That’s great. Whatever.” She really wants to work for Vince McMahon and her special talent is being the 2004 Playmate of the Year. A quick hello to Hugh Hefner wraps this up, thank goodness.

Benoit interrupts Eugene’s chat with a stuffed animal and says he wants a clean wrestling match tonight. Eugene seems hesitant but agrees.

Raw World Title: Eugene vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. JR says Benoit went 38 minutes last night against HHH. The match wasn’t even half an hour so I don’t know where they got that one, though HHH matches do have a history of feeling like they’re going on forever. Eugene tries to chop with Benoit to start and actually claps after getting the skin ripped off his chest. A belly to back suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time to roll the German suplexes.

It’s way too early for the Swan Dive though and Eugene gets two of his own off the crash. Eugene’s Pedigree attempt is backdropped so he gives Benoit a spinebuster but the People’s Elbow is pulled down into a Sharpshooter. A rope is grabbed in a hurry and Eugene snaps, nailing some right hands for two more.

Eugene rolls some German suplexes and puts on a Crossface (his finishing moves in OVW, where he was basically a Benoit clone) in the middle of the ring. Benoit gets a foot on the ropes so Eugene sends him shoulder first into the post. Lawler: “That was brilliant! I didn’t just say that did I?” The Rock Bottom gives Eugene three, though Benoit’s foot was on the rope. Eugene celebrates with the title….and here’s Evolution to beat both of them down for the no contest.

Rating: D+. And Eugene is done as far as anything entertaining. The problem is that Eugene had a firm ceiling and a very short shelf life. They’ve completely ignored both of those things and put Eugene in so far over his head (the character, not Nick Dinsmore, who could possibly hang in there with a regular gimmick) that there’s no getting out. It was fine when Eugene was having goofy comedy matches with Rob Conway or the Coach, but now he’s going move for move with Chris Benoit.

There’s no logical way that this can work and the charm is gone. Eugene should have maxed out as a comedy guy who occasionally beats a midcard heel. Now he’s the key to the whole World Title picture, even though HHH can’t quite explain why he’s using Eugene instead of, you know, the army that he has at his disposal. The story does make sense if you squint enough, but it’s WAY more complicated than it needs to be. Anyway, the match wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t make sense and I couldn’t get around that.

The big beatdown is on, with Benoit, Eugene (busted open) and an invading William Regal getting destroyed.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show in the world, and it’s very clear that Vengeance was the annual pit stop show on the way to Summerslam. They need to drop the Eugene stuff in a hurry and then find someone fresh to challenge Benoit for the title. The HHH stuff is completely played out (shocking I know) and it’s time for something fresh.

The rest of the show ranged from good with Edge vs. Batista to bleh with Flair vs. Hurricane. Raw is up and down right now and the stuff that used to work isn’t as effective as it once was. It’s not a horrible show or anything but it’s trending in the wrong direction. The good thing is some fresh stories for Summerslam could perk it up, but I’m worried about what happens if they keep hammering these current ones in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6