Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 2004
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Things are staying hot around here with the second annual Draft (called a Lottery this year), meaning people are going to be changing shows. Tonight everyone from both rosters are here and they have a chance to go from Raw to Smackdown or vice versa. This could be anywhere between really interesting and a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The locker rooms are assembled, of course in their matching show shirts because UNITY!

Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman (in a neck brace thanks to an Undertaker Tombstone) are glaring at each other when Vince McMahon comes in to explain the concept: there will be a tumbler for each roster with six picks from either show. At the end of the night, there can be trades until midnight. Bischoff asks about champions and Vince says EVERYONE is eligible, including Randy Orton, who isn’t here tonight.

Opening sequence.

The GM’s come out for their first picks but Heyman has to give a speech about being attacked on Smackdown. He’ll deal with Undertaker on Thursday, but it’s time for the first pick: Rene Dupree.

After a quick photo op, Dupree comes to the ring to say he doesn’t want his last moment on Raw to be taking a beating from Steve Austin. Therefore, let’s have a match right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree shoves him into the corner for a slap but gets taken down and smacked in the face over and over. The Walls don’t work so Jericho settles for the springboard dropkick off the apron. Back in and Jericho dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the French Tickler. Dupree tries it twice for some reason and Jericho rolls him up (with trunks) for two. Jericho hits a running crotch attack to the back and the step up enziguri is good for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having your first draft pick lose clean in a short match but then again I’m not sure what the point is in having Rene Dupree as the first pick. The new aggressive Jericho is good and him winning like this would have made sense on any other night, but here it’s kind of questionable.

Post match Dupree yells a lot more so here’s Austin for a Stunner to send him to Smackdown. Beer is consumed.

Bischoff, after insulting Smackdown, makes his first pick to Raw: Shelton Benjamin. I’m still not sure why that team only got two Tag Team Title reigns and both of them in 2003.

Rico is in the ring for a match but it’s not Shelton coming out to face him.

Kane vs. Rico

Chokeslam in about twenty seconds.

Post match Kane makes it clear: he does NOT want to be on the same show as Undertaker. Kane leaves so Heyman makes his next pick: Mark Jindrak.

After a break, Bischoff’s pick is Nidia. This draft has been….interesting so far. Nidia’s graphic bio includes her measurements because what else could it be? Nidia comes out and takes off her Smackdown top to replace it with the Raw one.

It’s Heyman’s turn but here’s John Cena to interrupt again to a rather nice reaction. Cena says Heyman is wearing the neck brace because he’s blowing the whole lottery. Both shows want him but this isn’t a junior high dance so keep your pants on. Cena makes the next pick and hands Heyman one ball, though he still has no…..you can figure that out. Heyman and Bischoff argue over whether or not this counts but Bischoff insists. The pick is HHH, who does a spit take in the locker room. It’s about time we got a big name. The Raw locker room singes the Goodbye Song in a funny bit.

Christian vs. Spike Dudley

Spike charges to the ring and hits the running headbutt to the ribs. Some right hands in the corner draw Trish up to the apron for a distraction, allowing Christian to take over. Spike reverses a slam into a DDT and hits a big dive off the top to the floor. Back in and a top rope double stomp gives Spike two more but he gets sent into the post. The Unprettier gives Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world as Spike was trying. There was no way that Christian was losing this soon though, especially when you have him facing Spike Dudley. They’re going to keep a lot of the matches short tonight though and that’s the right call, especially given how big tonight is. Spike was trying though and that’s not exactly a surprise.

A distressed Bischoff is ready to make his next pick but leaves to find Vince. Post break Vince says nothing can be done but Heyman comes in with an idea: tonight we have Eddie Guerrero defend the WWE Title against HHH. That’s the kind of thing Vince would do so he’s down with the idea.

Back in the arena, Bischoff picks Rhyno and gives him a shot at Chris Benoit tonight.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Evolution vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Ric Flair and Batista are challenging. Booker dropkicks Flair to start but gets chopped down, allowing the double tags to bring in Batista and Van Dam. That lasts all of ten seconds before it’s back to Booker, who is driven into the wrong corner. Flair comes back in and gets punched into a Flair Flop, followed by the required backdrop. A poke to the eye and more chops have Booker in trouble but he scores with a kick to the face.

Van Dam tags himself in and hits the fastest Five Star I’ve ever seen but Batista makes the save as we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock as they’re not exactly having people stay in the ring for very long. A Hart Attack with Van Dam coming in off the top with a kick to the face instead of a clothesline gets two on Batista. Flair chop blocks Van Dam down though and the champs are in trouble again. A few kicks to the leg set up the Figure Four but Van Dam is pretty close to the ropes.

Rob gets up and hits a spinwheel kick (with very little elevation due to the leg) to Flair’s arm (called the nose by JR), allowing the hot tag off to Booker. The Book End drops Batista and we hit the Spinarooni. An ax kick gets two with Flair making the save so Rob gives him Rolling Thunder. Rob tries to break up the Batista Bomb but kicks Booker by mistake, setting up the Batista Bomb to give us new champions.

Rating: D+. Is it any wonder that Booker and Van Dam are forgotten champions? They won the titles, held them for about a month, and lost them back to the same team. Now the question is whether Booker or Van Dam go to Smackdown, though both of them would benefit from the move. Evolution getting the titles back is hardly thrilling, but it’s not like any of the other teams are worth anything at the moment.

Heyman makes his next pick and it’s….Rob Van Dam. So there’s your answer to the previous question. For some reason Van Dam’s bio includes being an ECW Tag Team Champion but not the ECW TV Champion.

Booker and Van Dam promise to get the belts back because they have a rematch clause. Coach comes in to say no rematch because Van Dam is going to Smackdown. This is news to Van Dam and Booker isn’t happy.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Benoit is defending and comes out wearing the title, I believe for the first time. They chops it out to start and Benoit runs him over with a hard elbow. An Alley Oop onto the top turnbuckle gets Rhyno out of trouble and he puts on a pretty good looking Sharpshooter. Benoit makes the rope and can’t get a Sharpshooter of his own. Instead he settles for the rolling German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive but Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster. The Gore is reversed into the Crossface though and Rhyno taps.

Rating: C-. Totally watchable match and there’s nothing wrong with giving Benoit a short win on a big show. Benoit is still getting established as champion and wins like this, where he Crossfaces anyone he faces, are going to help him. It’s not like Rhyno loses anything by tapping out here so everything is fine.

Shawn Michaels comes up to Bischoff and demands a trade to Smackdown so he can fight HHH. Instead, Bischoff gives him a title shot at Backlash, assuming he and Benoit stay on Raw. That’s cool with Shawn, likely along with several other people.

Bischoff gets another pick: Tajiri.

Heyman goes next and gets Theodore Long. Jazz is happy to see him go because he never made her any money anyway.

We keep going as Bischoff picks Edge. It’s about time Raw got someone big.

Smackdown’s last pick is Spike Dudley.

We’ll wrap it up with the final Raw pick, which is….Paul Heyman himself. Heyman panics and Bischoff makes it worse by suggesting that Heyman can wash his car. That’s a big negative though as Heyman refuses to come work for Bischoff and quits instead. Bischoff goes to the ring to celebrate but here’s the returning Edge (to a BIG reaction) to spear him down.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. HHH

Eddie is defending and HHH is still in his Raw shirt….which he tears off to reveal a Smackdown shirt. The early handshake offer is switched into Eddie telling HHH what he can kiss so HHH takes him into the corner. A hiptoss gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s an armdrag into an armbar on the arm that was in a sling last week. The rope gets HHH out of trouble and he heads outside, only to have Eddie ram the arm into the steps. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Eddie off and we take a break.

We come back with HHH whipping him into the steps and various other objects to work on Eddie’s back. A pair of hard whips into the corner stays on the back and a backbreaker plants Eddie again. HHH slaps on the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the ropes. Smackdown referees don’t go for cheating like that. Eddie fights up and gets two off a tornado DDT but the facebuster gives HHH the same.

The Pedigree is countered into a catapult into the corner and Eddie hits the Three Amigos (FINALLY dubbed that by Tazz). Cue Flair and Batista though as JR and King suddenly take over on commentary. Batista hands HHH the title but here are Mysterio and Cena to even things up a bit. The distracted referee misses Shawn Michaels running in with Sweet Chin Music on HHH. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Christian of all people shoves him off for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is more of a curiosity than anything else but it turned out to be a heck of a match. When you get rid of all the Evolution shenanigans (and HHH winning), you can actually get a very good performance from HHH. Eddie is of course golden right now and they made me believe a title change was possible. Good match, which this show needed.

The locker rooms empty out and it’s a big brawl. Kane and Big Show come out very late but here’s Austin on the ATV to bring out more Raw guys and beat up some goons to end the show. Cool moment, though I doubt it leads anywhere save for maybe a quick bit on Smackdown.

The final Draft moves:

To Raw

1. Shelton Benjamin

2. Nidia

3. Rhyno

4. Tajiri

5. Edge

6. Paul Heyman

To Smackdown

1. Rene Dupree

2. Mark Jindrak

3. HHH

4. Rob Van Dam

5. Theodore Long

6. Spike Dudley

Overall Rating: C. Aside from the main event this wasn’t much of a wrestling show, but at least we got a good main event and some interesting changes. The midcards of both shows need some upgrades so switching things up is a good idea. Now just do something new with those names and maybe we can go somewhere this summer.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,148
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the season premiere as we’re past Wrestlemania XX and Chris Benoit is the Raw World Champion. That should open up some fresh doors, but a rematch with HHH is the most likely way to go. It’s time to start getting ready for Backlash, and that could mean a few different things. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH (you can’t make up jokes like this) with his arm in a sling and anger levels higher than normal. He can’t even speak and a BENOIT chant makes it even worse. HHH finally manages to talk, saying that one match doesn’t make someone the best. Putting a belt around your waist one time doesn’t mean a thing. It’s about defending the title night after night, month after month. That’s what makes you the best.

HHH has beaten them all every single night, which is why he woke up this morning. Yeah he tapped out and maybe that can make the fans happy. Last night was 2-1 and it took both of them to beat him. That’s how he knew he was still the best when he looked in the mirror. He’s not done with Chris Benoit, because Benoit is the new target. When the arm heals, he’s coming for Benoit, but here’s the new champ to interrupt.

Benoit beat both Shawn Michaels and HHH last night to earn this title. When the arm gets better, HHH can bring on his rematch because Benoit will make him tap over and over. HHH says not on Benoit’s best day, so Benoit hits with the belt to send HHH running. Evolution comes in and Shawn makes the save. Sounds tag matchish. Cue Eric Bischoff to make the 3-2 handicap main event but also to say that Vince McMahon is here for a huge announcement. Good opening though, as Benoit looks like a star and HHH finally gives something up.

Post break Shawn says he made the save because he wants Benoit healthy for a future title shot. Makes some sense, but wouldn’t it make more to have Benoit take a beating and then make the save?

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly already has the wig on, now sporting hair down to her elbows. The chin strap doesn’t hide much either. It’s a brawl to start with Molly rubbing Victoria’s face in the mat and Jazz coming in for a legdrop. The fans chant MOLLY’S BALD as Victoria comes back with a middle rope moonsault to take Jazz down. It’s already off to Lita for some running clotheslines and a headscissors. Molly kicks her in the back though and there goes the wig, revealing a very round bald head. That sends her running, leaving Lita to DDT Jazz for the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing but the visual gag and they were smart enough to keep things moving. There isn’t much of a reason to go with some big new angle so soon after last night’s huge show so just go with some lighthearted fallout like this. If nothing else, points to Molly for shaving the whole thing off. Not many people would do that.

Stills of Chris Jericho vs. Christian with Trish Stratus turning on Jericho for reasons that will need to be explained. Evil Trish is always worth a look.

The ticked off Jericho won’t answer any questions.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

I feel bad for Matt, who is ridiculous underrated. Jericho is as aggressive as you would expect and clotheslines the heck out of Matt before choking away. A rake to the eyes allows Matt to hit a belly to back suplex. Jerry: “Maybe Jericho and Fozzy can redo the old Rolling Stones song: I can’t get no Stratusfaction.” Jericho throws him outside and chokes with an electrical cord for the DQ. That’s the best way to go here and Matt doesn’t even lose for once.

During the break, Jericho leaves without saying a word.

Randy Orton wants Mick Foley one on one. How will Foley feel about his son Huey growing up with Orton as a role model instead of his dad? Those are fighting words.

La Resistance is here, now with the returning Sylvan Grenier and Fifi the poodle. Steve Austin comes in to stare at Fifi and gives the French b**** a ticket. He means Rene Dupree, who isn’t happy and speaks French to show off the anger. If this is where Austin is now, he might as well leave now.

Val Venis vs. Kane

Before the match, a fan gets to remove Val Venis’ towel. She’s happy enough that she tries to flash Val but the pyro cuts her off. Side slam, top rope clothesline and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

Miss Jackie vs. Stacy Keibler

Vince says it’s time to shake things up around here because people are getting too complacent. The fans want new superstars, new matches and new rivalries. Therefore, next week, the Smackdown superstars will be here next week for a good old fashioned lottery. Everyone from Steve Austin to Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle to Eddie Guerrero will be in the lottery and even Vince’s relatives could be changing shows.

Post break Eric Bischoff isn’t sure what to think when Evolution comes in to say they can’t be split up. HHH demands that he stay on Raw but Bischoff says it’s out of his hands.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending. Booker declines a handshake from Bubba in a bit of an out of character move. They fight over a lockup to start until Booker’s leapfrog is shoved away in what might have been a slight botch. D-Von comes in and gets clotheslined so it’s off to Van Dam for some kicks to the chest. Rob kicks Bubba down as well and brings Booker back in as the chemistry isn’t exactly flowing at the moment.

An elbow to the jaw gives Bubba….nothing as Rob made a blind tag and come in off the top with a stomp to the back. A suplex takes Booker down as the champs are wrestling as heels for some reason, despite being faces for their entire run now. It’s back to D-Von for some fast right hands and a neckbreaker gets two on Booker. Everything breaks down and the 3D hits Booker, with Van Dam making the last second save. It’s a very bad sign when one of the biggest finishers of all time gets no reaction.

Van Dam comes in and takes a running neckbreaker out of the corner to send him all the way outside. We actually take a break and come back with Van Dam hitting a spinwheel kick. Booker is still down on the floor though so Bubba comes in and smacks Van Dam in the head. Something like a brainbuster gets two and D-Von puts on a neck crank. A reverse chinlock from Bubba keeps this going because going twice as long as they should have just isn’t enough.

Rob finally kicks him away and gets over to Booker for the hot tag. Booker cleans house to very little reaction A spinebuster plants D-Von and there’s the Spinarooni. The scissors kick into the Five Star gets two on Bubba as D-Von makes the save. The Bubba Bomb is blocked and Booker hits the Book End to retain.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I know some teams don’t have the best chemistry together but egads this felt like they were told to just go out there and fill in about twenty minutes no matter how bad it was. You don’t get to often say this but the match was about three times longer than it needed to be. If you cut this WAY down it might have been ok, but as it is it’s a long mess with the fans not caring in the slightest.

Video on last night’s show.

Spike Dudley comes out for a match but Christian and Trish Stratus jump him from behind. Christian hits an Unprettier on the floor and Trish makes a fast count. What a cheater. Christian introduces Trish for the big explanation, which starts with the big bet from Jericho (Christian’s participation is forgotten, as is Lita’s). Trish: “What kind of a cheap s*** do you think that I am anyway?”

It’s a shame that Chris’ night ended prematurely because she wound up screwing him instead. Well, actually screwing someone else. Christian insults New Jersey and says he won because he got the girl. Trish didn’t want someone who was bringing her flowers and candy because she was looking for something a little more rough. It’s Jericho’s fault that he won’t be getting any Stratusfaction. Kissing ensues.

La Resistance is panicking about being split but Dupree isn’t letting Austin get under his skin. Grenier will be here keeping Fifi company.

Here’s Dupree for a chat. There is a bad perception that the French are nothing but cowards. He raises the French flag to prove otherwise though and the Americans will learn that soon. A French rant brings out Austin to beat the heck out of Dupree without saying a word. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit

HHH is out with the trio. Batista clotheslines Shawn’s head off to start and it’s off to Flair for a little less success. Some chops and a backdrop have Flair in trouble and Benoit comes in to keep it going. One heck of an elbow drops Flair and a snap suplex has him screaming, which to be fair isn’t the hardest job in the world. Benoit gets taken into the corner for some forearms from Orton but you don’t keep a new World Champion down for very long. Instead it’s Shawn coming in and taking the backbreaker (you can keep old Shawn’s down pretty easily)….and we see Foley arriving in the back.

The referee gets bumped and everything breaks down with Evolution taking over due to the power of numbers. Cue Foley to hammer on Orton though and send him into the crowd. With the numbers even, Shawn forearms Flair and nips up for the top rope elbow. HHH comes in with a Pedigree to cut off Sweet Chin Music (so much for the arm) and Flair gets a delayed two. For reasons of pure stupidity and overconfidence, Flair goes up and comes right back down.

We settle back down to Batista hitting the spinebuster for two on Shawn and slapping on the chinlock. Flair comes in to drop a knee and Shawn is busted open again. He’s fine enough to roll Flair up for two but can’t follow up. For some reason Flair is down too, meaning the hot tag can bring in Benoit. The German suplexes start up in a hurry, followed by the Swan Dive for two on Batista, who powers out without much effort. HHH comes in again but a Pedigree to Benoit is broken up with some Sweet Chin Music. Another superkick drops Flair and Batista taps to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: C+. You can see where things are going from here, assuming nothing changes next week in the Lottery. Foley vs. Orton was pretty clearly not over yet and you could guess about Shawn and HHH going after Benoit even more. The match itself was fun, though I question having Batista take the fall when you have Flair available to give up instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird show as nothing really happened this week (the Lottery announcement is big, but for next week). Instead it felt like a recharged version of the stories continuing, which was fine as a lot of them were advanced last night. That long tag match in the middle ruined things though and there was no coming back from it. The other problem is how everything changes next week, leaving a lot of this rather useless. Not a bad show, but you wouldn’t have guessed it was the post-Wrestlemania show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We have arrived right back where we started. There is something special about a WWE show in Madison Square Garden and there was really no other option for such a big milestone. You could argue that it’s a triple main event with Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle, but really this is going to be about HHH, Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, as it really should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s Raw results and Smackdown results if you need a recap.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful. That’s one of those Wrestlemania traditions that always makes me smile.

It’s so strange seeing Wrestlemania in an arena instead of a stadium.

The opening video starts with Vince McMahon in the dark and turns into a talk of the history of Wrestlemania. That means old Wrestlemania clips and I’m always good with those. WWE does know how to do these historical videos and you know they’re going to do it well on such a big occasion. The wrestlers talk about the importance of the Garden and how big this one night really is. We go back to Vince with the narration talking about how it all begins again, and the camera pans over to Shane, holding Vince’s newborn first grandson. That’s a really, really cool idea.

The ramp is on the left but there’s a small video screen opposite the hard camera as a nice homage to the old days in the Garden.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third time since winning the title in October. Before the match, Cena says he isn’t losing to a gorilla like Big Show and implies that Show has small genitals. They stare each other down and Cena starts sticking and moving in a smart strategy. Well smart enough until Show shoves him to the floor.

Back in and a powerslam gets two on Cena, who gets a very loud chant from the crowd. Another slam keeps the pace slow and Show easily pulls him up for a suplex. Cole is hitting every Show line he can get, including the size 22 5E boot, the typewriter head and the frying pan chop. I don’t even want to imagine how much Vince is in his ear on this show. Cena’s comeback is cut off by a superkick and the standing legdrop gets two.

Show slaps on a cobra clutch and of course Cena fights up after a few moments. A raised boot in the corner sets up an FU (that never stops being impressive) for two and Cena is STUNNED. He’s so stunned that he grabs the chain but the referee takes it away, allowing Cena to hit Show with the brass knuckles, setting up another FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The crowd pulled this one up a bit though it’s still not a very good match. Show wasn’t exactly going to do anything at this point and that was on full display here. That being said, Cena hitting the FU for the pin was all that mattered and they nailed the finish. What more can you ask?

Jonathan Coachman is walking through the back and runs into a few people, such as Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, before finding Eric Bischoff and Johnny Spade/Blaze/whatever else. Eric has a job for him tonight: go find the Undertaker because there have been reports of strange noises.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) is in the same stairwell where Randy Orton kicked Mick Foley down the stairs to start their issues last June. We see some clips that really set up tonight’s match, mostly including Orton and Evolution beating up Foley and later, the Rock. Orton says it all begins again here, right where it started. Nice stuff here, as you can tell they’re working hard for Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance

Booker and Van Dam are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Van Dam starts with Dupree and sends the French guy flying off a monkey flip. It’s off to Booker to beat up both Dupree and Conway so it’s Bubba coming in for some more successful forearms to the back. Say it with me: the fans want tables. For those fans who aren’t impressed enough by WRESTLEMANIA I guess.

Booker hits the side kick but Jindrak has the referee, allowing D-Von to make the save. Jindrak and Cade, thankfully in matching gear, take over with left hands to the face but Dupree tags himself in to steal a near fall. The double arm crank allows Conway to insult USA, which fires Booker up enough to hit a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house as everything breaks down. Jindrak breaks up a 3D to Booker, who hits the ax kick into the Five Star on Conway to retain.

Rating: D. For the last few weeks, I’ve said that I didn’t think this warranted being on Wrestlemania. I’d now like to change that to knowing that it shouldn’t have been on Wrestlemania. The match doesn’t even run eight minutes and Booker was in there for more than six of those. Just do the Dudleys vs. Booker/Van Dam, or any of the regular teams for that matter. I mean, the better move would have been to not do the match and let the show be a bit shorter but that’s never been WWE’s style.

Coach investigates the sounds and finds Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan (BIG pop for those two) in a small room, pulling their clothes back on. Heenan insists that it’s NOT that kind of thing because they were playing cards. Heenan: “He was dealing!” Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pull them back in, despite their screaming protests. Heenan: “I haven’t been well! My doctor would never allow me to go!” Coach just walks away. To be fair, this is way above his talent grade.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They were best friends and made a bet over who could get together with Trish Stratus or Lita first. The girls found out about the bet and Trish snapped, only to have Jericho say he was falling for her. Jericho and Christian’s team suffered though and he attacked Jericho in the name of tough love. Christian even hit on Trish a bit as well, but then put her out of action with a Walls of Jericho. Now it’s time for Jericho to fight back in the first big showdown.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho wastes no time by punching him in the jaw and adding a clothesline for a bonus. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and Jericho follows him out with a springboard dive. Back in and Christian backdrops him over the top and the big crash has Jericho in trouble for the first time. Back in and Christian cranks on the neck, followed by a chinlock for a change of pace.

A spinwheel kick gives Christian two but they ram heads to knock each other down. An exchange of rollups with an exchange of cheating get two each so Jericho goes with the bulldog. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian grabs a backbreaker for two of his own. Christian grabs a Texas Cloverleaf to work on Jericho’s recently injured knee, which the announcers don’t actually mention.

That’s one of the reasons I was looking forward to watching this show with the TV beforehand. The Cloverleaf makes more sense when you know Jericho is coming in with a recent injury, but the commentators don’t bother mentioning it here, making the Cloverleaf seem a bit random. Jericho slips out and sends Christian to the floor, followed by a butterfly superplex for a delayed two. I believe there was a botched attempt that has been edited out of the Network version.

They’re both down so here’s Trish, with Lawler saying she can make jogging a spectator sport. An implant DDT gives Christian two and he drags Trish inside. Jericho makes the save and checks on her but Trish accidentally elbows him in the face. Christian’s rollup gives him the surprise pin.

Rating: B. This whole story has always been one of my favorites so it’s cool to see the match be a good one. It’s certainly no classic but Christian winning was the right call and the story can move forward from here. Both guys have gotten something out of this story and Trish is advancing as well. Good match, easily the best thing on the card so far.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho as Christian runs back in. Trish tries to hold Jericho back and then slaps him in the face over and over, morphing into Evil Trish (works for me), allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier. Christian and Trish leave but stop to kiss on the stage. This worked for everyone, especially Trish who works far better in this role.

A serious Mick Foley is getting ready in the back but Rock pops in to hijack the interview. Rock is very fired up to be in the Garden and it’s time to have the cameraman see who all is here. We have Hurricane and Rosey (another case that isn’t as random when you’ve seen the recent TV), Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka and of course the people, with the camera going inside the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re going to take care of Evolution tonight, if ya smell what the Rock (Foley: “And Sock!”) is cooking. You can tell Rock is extra fired up here.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

The energy is really high here. I always forget how young Foley looks here, mainly because he’s only 38. He retired at 34 so it’s not like he’s some guy who is fifteen years past his prime. Rock N Sock clears the ring to start, wisely making sure to double team Batista. Rock and Flair start things off with Rock offering his own strut. They head to the floor with Flair poking him in the eye (pop for that), only to get backdropped down.

Foley is right there with the elbow off the apron so it’s off to Foley vs. Orton (another pop from the hot crowd). That sends Orton bailing to the floor, because going outside against Mick Foley is a great idea. Back in and Orton get tied in the Tree of Woe for a rather low (Or is it high?) right hand. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor though and drops him face first onto the barricade to take over. Flair comes in (Flair: “All right!”) for some of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard him throw but one strut too many allows Rock to get in a clothesline.

Just because he has to, Flair goes up (Lawler: “Oh no.”) and get slammed down. Batista comes in but quickly allows the hot tag to Foley. Some right hands in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes out with the big running clothesline to send Foley outside. Orton sends Foley hard (and loud) into the steps and it’s Flair coming in for more loud chops. These are even more impressive with Foley wearing a shirt so the sound is toned down a bit.

Orton rips at Foley’s face and hair as they’re doing a great job at building the energy up for the hot tag. Batista comes back in and walks into a swinging neckbreaker. A double clothesline to Batista and a forearm to Flair are enough for the tag to Rock and house is cleaned quickly. The numbers game cuts him off and Flair loads up his own People’s Elbow, with more strutting than should be legally allowed. It takes so long that Rock nips up and spinebusters Flair, setting up the real People’s Elbow, with a Rock strut because of course, for two.

Orton walks into the Rock Bottom for the same but Batista comes in for a Batista Bomb. That’s only good for a near fall in the same way Orton won at Survivor Series last year. The second hot tag brings in Foley to finally face off with Orton, meaning the double arm DDT connects in a hurry. It’s time for Mr. Socko but Orton grabs the RKO out of nowhere for the pin. Foley looks around to see what happened and Orton is shocked, both adding a great touch.

Rating: B+. This one has really grown on me over the years with all five guys playing their roles well. You knew Rock and Flair were going to ham it up out there and Batista is really starting to figure out the power monster role. Then you have Foley, who came off like the old serious version out there and looked like someone who could still beat anyone on the right night. Orton winning on a surprise RKO was the perfect ending with he and Foley reacting to it perfectly. Just a great performance from all five guys and an outstanding spectacle that paves the way for Orton vs. Foley.

Rock and Foley are upset by the loss but get the big ovation with Foley getting the bigger share.

Video on last night’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” is one of the only things in wrestling that makes me tear up a bit.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to present the class:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as he’s presented)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his kids)

Harley Race (somehow looking younger than he did in WCW)

Pete Rose (booed heavily, though said to be incredibly gracious for the induction)

Don Muraco (in a Hawaiian shirt under his coat)

Greg Valentine (bigger reaction than you might think, and WHY DOES HE NEVER AGE???)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (biggest reaction so far)

Sgt. Slaughter (gets a loud USA chant and plays to the crowd as well)

Jesse Ventura (It wouldn’t have been Wrestlemania without him)

This was much more a tribute to the earlier days of Wrestlemania but it didn’t have the big time headliner. Race is the biggest name, but he’s not known for his WWE stuff.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in evening gowns to start, which is totally what I think of when I think of Playboy. Sable wants to just wrestle without anything on but she just strips down to her her lingerie. Torrie and Stacy follow suit as Cole and Tazz are way too excited over this. Jackie won’t strip though and stands on the apron in her gown. So she’s the Ivory of the match.

The gown is ripped off in about five seconds and Sable kicks her in the ribs. Torrie does a high crossbody for the sake of….I’m sure you get the idea. Stacy comes in for a cartwheel (Tazz: “I LOVE CARTWHEELS!”) and the leg choke in the corner. We get the sunset flip spot for an ovation, followed by Jackie and Torrie rolling over the referee. Torrie rolls Jackie up (showing off the tag hanging off the underwear) for the pin, plus a spank and a pull of the underwear. It was short and did what it was there to do.

Video on fans coming from all over the world for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero is in the locker room with Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t like the word lose but Eddie says it’s a possibility with the people he’s in there against. Nobody really believes in him but Benoit shouts that he does, demanding that Eddie looks at him. Benoit wants to know why Eddie is saying this on Benoit’s night. Last month Eddie won his WWE Title and tonight Benoit wins his. That’s the fire that Eddie was trying to draw out of him because that’s the Benoit he believes in. Benoit is winning the title tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero is defending and we finally find out that it’s a gauntlet match with Chavo entering last. While they never specifically said so in the lead up, it was implied that this would be a ten way match with everyone in there at once. Everyone comes out and stands at ringside and thankfully both of Ultimo Dragon’s botches are edited on the Network (the one at the entrance is mostly covered by a wide shot but you can still make it out while him slipping on the middle rope is edited out completely). Rey Mysterio is the Flash this year to continue his great tradition.

Dragon and Shannon Moore start things off with Shannon shouldering him down for two. A belly to back suplex gets the same but Dragon avoids a flip dive. The Asai DDT (very similar to a Salida Del Sol) eliminates Moore and Jamie Noble is in third. Dragon kicks him down for a fast two but has to bail out of a moonsault. The Asai DDT is countered into a neckbreaker and Noble makes him tap with a guillotine choke.

There’s no bell like after the first fall but Funaki comes in with a high crossbody, which Noble rolls through for a pin in five seconds. Nunzio comes in and it’s never fun to see family fight. Some rollups give Nunzio two and a middle rope dropkick to the head gets the same. Nunzio is sent outside for a big flip dive from Noble and Nunzio gets counted out.

Billy Kidman is in next and hits a HUGE springboard shooting star to take out Noble and Nunzio, nearly killing himself in the process. Back in and Noble’s guillotine choke doesn’t work but he’s able to break up the shooting star. Noble loads up a superplex but gets revered into a super BK Bomb for the pin and the elimination. Rey Mysterio comes in next to pick up the pace, only to get caught up top. A super sunset bomb gets rid of Kidman and it’s Tajiri in next.

The Tarantula has Rey in fast trouble but he’s out in a hurry for the 619. Akio tries to grab Rey’s leg but takes Tajiri’s mist instead. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin and since Akio can’t go due to the mist, it’s Chavo vs. Mysterio for the title. Tajiri kicks Mysterio in the head before leaving and Chavo gets an easy two but Rey is right back up with a springboard hurricanrana. Rey dropkicks Chavo Sr. down and hits him with a big flip dive. A sunset flip has Chavo in trouble but Sr. grabs his son’s hands to give him the retaining pin.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked these things and it was the same case here: if these people can pin each other in a minute or so, why do regular matches take seven minutes? This was another way to get a bunch of people on the show, which is rarely a good sign for a lot of them. Chavo vs. Mysterio would have been fine and I’m not sure how many people care that Kidman and Funaki made the show.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was dominating the Royal Rumble but Lesnar ran in and caused him to be eliminated. The next month at No Way Out, Goldberg interfered in Lesnar’s Smackdown World Title defense against Eddie Guerrero, costing him the title. Lesnar begged for a match with Goldberg, which Vince McMahon granted, albeit with Steve Austin as referee. With Goldberg off TV, Lesnar and Austin have had a mini feud over Austin’s ATV. It doesn’t help that both Goldberg and Lesnar are gone after this show, which could make this, ahem, interesting.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Steve Austin is guest referee. We start with a loud YOU SOLD OUT chant, presumably at Lesnar (who is sporting a very weak goatee). There’s no contact in the first minute so the fans start singing the Goodbye Song. JR has to acknowledge the crowd and mentions Lesnar wanting to go to the NFL as we’re two minutes in with no contact. The fans start chanting for Austin so Goldberg looks at him instead.

They lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty seconds and goes nowhere so Lesnar laughs at him a bit. A second lockup lasts about as long as JR tries to pass this off as a great struggle. They break up again as the fans are now openly booing, saying THIS MATCH SUCKS. Lesnar puts in a headlock five minutes in and the exchange of shoulders goes nowhere.

A double shoulder means a double knockdown, because that’s what this match needed. Lesnar starts kicking away but gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster for the first big move of the match. The spear hits buckle though and they fight to the floor as the fans think Goldberg sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex, followed by a standing choke after that strenuous….oh I’d say minute and a half.

The fans chant for Hogan and it’s ANOTHER double knockdown until Lesnar covers for two. Goldberg fights up with some clotheslines and the spear for two, despite pulling Lesnar’s shoulder off the mat. An argument with Austin lets Lesnar grab an F5 for a near fall of his own. Lesnar goes shoulder first into the post and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to give Goldberg the pin.

Rating: F. Does this need an explanation? There’s a reason this is considered one of the worst Wrestlemania matches of all time and it’s embarrassing all around. These guys are capable of having a good match and they went out there and put in no effort, instead being satisfied with screwing over the fans who wanted to and perhaps paid to see this match. I can understand two people just not clicking, but I have little patience for them not trying. It didn’t even have the entertainment value of being that bad.

Post match Austin Stuns them both out of the company and neither Goldberg nor Lesnar was ever seen in WWE again.

Pyro goes off from the roof of the building. I’ve been outside for that after Wrestlemania in New Orleans and it will make you jump out of your skin.

Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about the theme of It All Begins Again. There wouldn’t be a Wrestlemania without the fans though and he’s here to thank all of us. The locker room, the WWE and the McMahon Family thanks the fans for making Wrestlemania and the WWE what it is today. This was a very nice little moment.

Next year: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Shelton punches Bradshaw to start but gets taken down by a running shoulder for one. Doug comes in to take over on Shelton with Charlie making a save. It’s off to Scotty vs. Charlie as the fans are just gone after that match (granted this match isn’t helping things). Scotty tries to skin the cat but Charlie catches him, allowing Shelton to jump onto his back.

A bearhug slows things down even more until Doug tags himself in and kicks Scotty in the head. Danny pulls him away from the hot tag to Rikishi but, of course, the tag goes through a few seconds later. Rikishi DDTs Danny to no reaction and gives Charlie a Stink Face. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw Clotheslines Doug. That earns him a Samoan drop from Rikishi, who sits on Danny’s chest to retain.

Rating: D-. Nothing match again but at least this served the purpose of giving the fans a chance to get Goldberg vs. Lesnar out of their system. As was the case earlier though, there wasn’t much of a need for this match to be on the card. It would have been fine as a Kickoff Show match, but even at six minutes it felt long.

Post match, dancing ensues.

Edge is coming back after over a year away.

Here’s Jesse Ventura…..to interview Donald Trump in the front row. Trump praises the show and Vince and Jesse asks him about a donation to a Presidential run. And now we move on to ANYTHING else before this turns into….whatever it’s going to turn into.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria’s title vs. Molly’s hair so a fan has a creative sign featuring Molly with hair that goes up and down. Molly powers her into the corner to start but Victoria chases her to the floor. Back in and Molly gets two off a suplex before grabbing a reverse cravate. The fans are getting a bit more into this and at least have some interest compared to the previous one.

With nothing else to talk about, Lawler gets into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria comes back with a powerslam as the discussion moves on to underwear color. Molly catches Victoria on top and gets two off a sunset bomb, albeit landing on her knees first. As frustration sets in, Molly tries the Widow’s Peak, which is reversed into a backslide to retain Victoria’s title.

Rating: D+. They tried here and that’s about all you can ask for. They didn’t even have five minutes and it’s not like the feud had much of a build in the first place. I’ll give them points for being willing to go with a bigger stipulation for the sake of getting on Wrestlemania, which shows quite the level of dedication. Not terrible, but they were hamstrung by the time.

Post match Molly snaps and tries to cut Victoria’s hair but Victoria knocks her out and straps her into the chair. The unconscious Molly gets her hair cut but wakes up in the middle, freaking out as you might expect.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie won the Smackdown World Title in February and Angle wasn’t happy that a former drug addict was champion. He attacked Eddie FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA because the country needed someone who could be a role model as champion. Eddie has been attacked when he wasn’t able to fight back but tonight it’s a fair playing field. I’ve been digging the heck out of this feud watching it back and this is the match I’ve been wanting to see again more than anything else.

After the video, Molly is still getting her head shaved. She’s actually bald too, rather than just having it trimmed. Like I said earlier: that’s some dedication.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending. A lockup has Eddie driven into the corner to start as Tazz thinks Angle should take it to the mat. Angle headlocks him down but Eddie is out in a hurry with a headscissors. A longer headlock is broken the same way as the fans are in a dueling LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie’s headlock is broken up as well and it’s a standoff as they’re still in the feeling out period here.

Some shoulder blocks work better for Eddie as Angle bails out to the floor. Back in and Angle takes him down into a front facelock and this time Eddie can’t get out as quickly. After staying down for a bit, Eddie fights up and armdrags him into an armbar. Angle knees the ribs to break it up and puts on an abdominal stretch. The ribs are fine enough for some rolling verticals, but the third is reversed into Angle’s rolling German suplexes.

They go to the apron and Angle can’t hit the German suplex off the apron. Eddie kicks him to the floor and dive out after Angle but the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in again and Eddie gets caught in a chinlock with a grapevine to stay on the ribs. A hot shot sends Eddie ribs first onto the ropes and it’s time for the belly to belly suplexes. Angle puts on a waistlock before another belly to belly gets two.

Since the regular ones not being enough, Angle puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex. Eddie breaks that up but misses the frog splash, making the ribs even worse. Angle is getting cocky so Eddie tells him to bring it on. Some right hands just make Eddie madder and he clotheslines Angle down. A belly to back suplex rocks Angle and Eddie reverses a German suplex attempt into a cradle for two.

That earns Eddie a hard clothesline but he reverses the Angle Slam into an armdrag. The third rolling suplex is reversed into the ankle lock this time so Eddie kicks him away. It’s still too early for the frog splash though as Angle runs the corner for a super belly to belly. The ankle lock goes on again but Eddie counters into a rollup. Another German suplex rocks Eddie again but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT.

The frog splash gets two and you can hear the fans being surprised. Angle gets the ankle lock for the third time so Eddie rolls him outside for another break. With Angle down, Eddie unlaces his boot and backs away as Angle gets back in. That means an ankle lock but Eddie’s boot comes off. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him (with his feet in the ropes of course) to retain.

Rating: A. That’s a brilliant finish with Eddie keeping his cool long enough to catch Angle being too aggressive in going after the ankle. Angle thinks that he’s better than Eddie and is going to smell blood as soon as he thinks Eddie is in trouble. Eddie was ready for it and suckered the livid Angle in to retain. The rest of the match with a great back and forth chess match with Eddie staying in there until he could get around Angle’s physical advantages. There was some incredible storytelling here and it was one of the best matches either of them has ever had.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane. Back at Survivor Series, Kane literally buried Undertaker and then gave him a eulogy. Kane proclaimed Undertaker dead and gone, but you know that’s not going to be the case. The Undertaker’s gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane freaked out, setting us on a path to this match. We’ve been seeing signs of Undertaker’s powers, which range from creepy to stupid, but that’s standard Undertaker procedure.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s intro is cool as the New York City set is covered in flames as well. Then Paul Bearer returns with an OOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSSS and no one cares about Kane anymore. We’ve got the druids with the burning torches and the fog throughout the aisle. Undertaker’s new look: slightly longer hair, a new hat and a singlet top. Kane looks terrified and….well yeah the Undertaker’s entrance at Wrestlemania can be chilling.

They stare at each other for a bit with Kane trying to make himself believe that Undertaker is real. He reaches out to touch Undertaker and gets punched up against the ropes. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane bailing to the floor but Undertaker is right back with an elbow to the throat. There’s the apron legdrop as I would expect a lot of signature stuff here. Back in and Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Kane backdrops him….hands first into the ropes. They misjudged the heck out of that one if that was supposed to be a backdrop to the floor.

It turns into a slugout on the mat until Kane gets in a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two but Undertaker is right back with a big boot and legdrop. Old School (still not yet named as such) is countered into a chokeslam. Kane walks around though and there’s the sit up. Undertaker hits his own chokeslam (losing the grip on the way down) and the Tombstone makes Undertaker 12-0.

Rating: D. That’s all you could have expected here, save for maybe a shorter and more dominant win. No one was expecting this Kane to beat the returning Undertaker so this was all about a big return. Undertaker was back to his slow pace here, though it was still better than the last few months (if not years) of Biker Taker. It’s not a good match, but Undertaker at Wrestlemania is always worth at least a glance.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels. HHH and Michaels went to a draw both at the last Raw of 2003 and in a Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. Shawn, never being able to let something go, said he needed to face HHH again, even though Benoit won the Royal Rumble. Michaels signed the Wrestlemania contract instead of Benoit (contracts still don’t work that way and Shawn vs. HHH is barely six years in the making, let alone the nearly ten Michaels said that it was) so Austin made it a triple threat match. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and wearing white boots for a really weird look. We don’t get Big Match Intros but we do have a weapons check. The fans are behind Benoit here, to the surprise of no one paying attention. Benoit goes after both of them to start but Shawn wants to beat on HHH. A way too early Crossface attempt doesn’t work on Shawn, who is sent into HHH to knock the champ outside. The second Crossface attempt is countered into a rollup for two but HHH is back in to clothesline Michaels.

Now it’s Benoit being sent outside so Shawn and HHH can have their big showdown. That doesn’t last long (you save the big stuff for later) as HHH goes outside to drive Benoit into the barricade. Shawn is right up with a moonsault onto the two of them for a big crash. Back in and HHH hits the facebuster on Shawn but Benoit breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post, again leaving us with two instead of the three.

Benoit can’t get a belly to back superplex as HHH pulls him down into the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn into him for a near fall of his own. HHH gets sent into him as well for the same two but Benoit gets free for the rolling German suplexes. Michaels is right there to break up the Swan dive though, only to eat a DDT from HHH. With Shawn on the floor, HHH pulls Benoit off the top and hammers away.

That’s reversed into a Crossface with Shawn diving in for a save. Shawn tries his own rolling German suplexes on Benoit and I’ll let you guess how that goes. After Shawn bounces off the mat from Benoit’s third straight German suplex, the Swan Dive connects for two. Shawn forearms Benoit to the floor and nips up for the fight against HHH. The champ gets knocked down for the top rope elbow and Sweet Chin Music connects.

Benoit is right there to pull HHH to the floor of course and he sends Shawn into the post. The busted open Shawn (it wouldn’t feel right otherwise) gets caught in the Crossface so HHH grabs his hand to prevent the tap out. Benoit beats up HHH on the floor but gets sent into the steps. HHH loads up the announcers’ table and Shawn joins him to double suplex Benoit through the table. NOW we get the big Shawn vs. HHH showdown and it lasts all of fifteen seconds with Shawn whipping HHH over the corner and back outside.

Back in and HHH (also bleeding) hits a quick Pedigree but can’t cover. Benoit dives in for a last second save and all three are down. A Pedigree to Benoit is reversed into a Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring so it’s Shawn coming back in with more Sweet Chin Music. That’s only good for two so Shawn tries it again, only to be sent to the floor. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface and Benoit rolls him into the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A+. I never realized how much the Wrestlemania XXX match copied this one, down to the big double team through the table, the technical star who had worked forever to get here and winning with a very similar hold, plus other things I’m probably overlooking. Anyway, there isn’t much to say here as the match speaks for itself. It’s long in the right way, the near falls were great, the work and visuals were incredible and the right guy won. I’m sure you’ve seen this one at least once and if you haven’t, find the time to sit down and watch Benoit’s crowning achievement.

Benoit is in tears as Eddie comes out for the big celebration. Confetti falls (another Wrestlemania XXX scene) and JR has almost lost his voice shouting about how amazing this was. The ending is a spectacular visual and what should have been one of the most memorable moments ever.

A five minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B+. They were this close to being one of the all time great shows but as it is, they’re only a few steps behind. The positives here ranges from outstanding to very good but the bad is in either absolutely horrid to unnecessary stuff, which is where the biggest problem comes from: they stretched a three hour and forty five minute show to over four and a half hour one and that doesn’t work. If you trim things down a bit here and there, (a Kickoff Show would have been better, or just not putting everything on the card in the first place) this is one of the best shows ever.

The other thing that worked so well here was the feeling. Wrestlemania is a major show every year but this was a milestone edition and it felt like one. They had a great balance of the history, present and future in one night and the whole event came off as a spectacle. That’s the right kind of feeling and the great action all night helped too. This show feels special and it’s worth seeing at least once (if you somehow hadn’t) or again if you haven’t in a long time, though fast forward some of the lower card stuff to make things easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2004
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that likely means a slower than average night. In this case we do have the return of the Rock, which almost guarantees at least some energy. There’s a good chance that there won’t be much wrestling as WWE isn’t going to want to risk an injury six days before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The arena is full of smoke and Gregorian chanting while a dirty casket is in the ring. I’m thinking the return of Mantaur too.

Opening sequence.

Back in the arena, Lawler thinks Kane might have something to do with this and here’s Kane to prove Lawler right. How nice of them to not keep us waiting. His music is replaced by the chanting as he gets in the ring and turns the casket over, revealing the Urn inside. Kane throws the casket out (breaking the lid off in the process), leaving the mat covered in dirt and mud. He wants to know if this is the best Undertaker can do after weeks of teasing his return. An empty casket and an urn full of ashes?

The Urn is thrown out as well because it’s going to take more than empty promises to defeat him. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker’s Streak and his legacy are done, for good this time. Kane is NOT afraid of him….and there’s the gong. Lightning goes off and the ring starts rising off the ground (you don’t see that every day) and panic ensues. The screen says “This Sunday, it all begins again.” The impressive part: even though it hasn’t been full time in a good many years, the run that would begin on Sunday has gone on longer Undertaker’s entire WWE run up to that point.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T./Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak/La Resistance

The Dudleys qualified for Sunday’s title match after beating Lance Storm and Val Venis last night on Heat. Conway hits Bubba in the back to start as the fans already want tables. It’s off to Dupree, who gets taken down by a neckbreaker because Bubba doesn’t like French guys. Rolling Thunder gets two as JR and King list off other big shows to describe Wrestlemania.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and Jindrak comes in for the armbar. A pair of kicks to the head eventually get Rob out of trouble and over to the corner for the hot tag to Booker. That means even more kicks and a Book End to Jindrak with everyone coming in for the save. Dupree gets in a shot to the back of Booker’s head and Jindrak gets the pin with a clothesline. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania, not Survivor Series.

Rating: D. I get what they were going for here but I’m not going to buy Jindrak and Cade as threats to anything, let alone the Tag Team Titles. I know Evolution wasn’t exactly great with the titles but they were better than most of these goofs. This whole match shows how weak the division is as while the teams are at least different, I have no reason to care about most of them. This whole thing could be left off of Wrestlemania and the only people who would care are these eight guys.

The winners argue over who should get credit for the win.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with Trish Stratus and does that weird kind of talking where he repeats everything the other person is saying that you would never do. He’s going to take out some aggression on Christian this Sunday but Christian jumps him from behind. Christian says he left her boyfriend in Trish’s favorite position: flat on his back.

During the break, Christian bailed in a waiting car.

King has a Wrestlemania pizza delivered as part of a sponsorship deal. Unfortunately they never actually say the name of the company that delivered the pizza so it’s kind of missing the point.

Booker and Van Dam are upset about losing, but Van Dam manages to get in his pose.

Tonight: This Is Your Life Mick Foley. Therefore, we get a clip of This Is Your Life Rock. That still holds up, just from the chemistry between these two.

Rock arrives and runs into his biggest nemesis: Hurricane and Rosey. Hurricane brags about beating Rock, but that was just the Scorpion King. Tonight live though, it’s the Rock. It’s all cool though because he Hurricane liked Walking Tall. Rosey on the other hand got lost and wound up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

Hurricane isn’t wild on Rock’s goatee because it reminds him of Coach, who is right behind Rock. Coach, whose height always surprises me, thinks Rock is stealing his look but Rock goes into a rant about Coach kissing up to Bischoff. Eventually Coach gets shoved away and Rock gives Hurricane and Rosey a pep talk.

Evolution vs. Hurricane/Rosey

That better be a heck of a pep talk. Flair punches away at Hurricane in the corner and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Orton comes in to kick at the knee and it’s off to Batista for a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Hurricane before Rosey is ever tagged in.

Evolution beats up Rosey post match. Orton says this is Rock and Foley’s life: two pathetic comebacks that end in embarrassment on Sunday. There is no stopping Evolution.

Video on the issues between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, which resulted in HHH standing tall again.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

I wonder if Matt, who never irons his clothes and occasionally cheats on his diet, can last as long as Rosey and Hurricane. Matt talks trash and says Benoit winning the title doesn’t matter because he’s V1. That earns him a backbreaker and a snap suplex so Matt tries bailing to the floor. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface makes Matt tap in a hurry. To recap: Jindrak and Cade are on Wrestlemania but Matt is stuck in this role?

Post match JR gets in the ring to talk to Benoit about how long he’s worked to get here. Benoit is getting in the ring with two of the best ever and he’s coming out on top. Cue Shawn to say he appreciates what Benoit has accomplished more than anyone, but for Shawn, it’s about end a “nearly ten year grudge with HHH”.

Oh come on. HHH debuted in WCW in February 1994, didn’t start hanging out with Shawn until the summer of 1997, and if you REALLY stretch and say their issues started the day HHH took over DX, it’s less than six years. It’s more like a year and a half, which is still way shorter than Benoit’s 18 year path to the title.

Benoit doesn’t want to hear it (good man) because Wrestlemania is about walking out as World Heavyweight Champion. Violence is teased but Shawn eventually wishes him good luck. They shake hands but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks this whole thing is ridiculous because he shouldn’t have to defend the title against two men in one night. The two of them made a pact to take the title from HHH so they need to get used to disappointment.

HHH always overcomes the odds and manipulates the situation to always be in his advantage. He’s always found a way to have an edge and this Sunday that’s their egos. Shawn’s ego isn’t going to let him leave with the title because he’ll have to be the best, which is all the edge that HHH needs. I know it’s the main event of Wrestlemania but HHH almost didn’t need to be here. The Shawn/Benoit section alone was quite good.

Foley runs into Spike Dudley for a preview of tonight’s This Is Your Life. I have no idea why this needed to be included.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Molly is extra aggressive to start and chokes on the rope and gets two off a backbreaker. We’re already in the chinlock as JR hypes up Wrestlemania as being over four hours long. I pine for those days. Lita fights up with a sloppy headscissors and the reverse Twist of Fate for a pair of twos. Back up and Molly gets a rollup, grabbing the rope for the fast pin.

Post match Molly goes for Lita’s hair but Victoria runs in for the save as the rapid fire last second pushing continues.

We look back at Austin running over Vince’s limo last week.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg. It started at the Royal Rumble when they stared and sneered a lot, followed by Brock causing Goldberg to be eliminated. Goldberg cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title next month and the Wrestlemania match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to try and keep things interesting, at least partially because Goldberg is only showing up for the big match and not TV. Lesnar must have been taking notes. With Goldberg gone until Wrestlemania, Lesnar F5’d Austin last week and stole his ATV.

Here’s Austin for a chat and a beer. Austin has been speared and taken an F5 so he really doesn’t care what happens. He’ll be playing by the rules on Sunday but if someone wants to get physical, Austin is read to hand out knuckle sandwiches. Before we get there though, he needs to go to Atlantic City for some drinking and gambling but he’s also heading to Smackdown to get his ATV back. A quick recap wraps things up as Austin really didn’t have anything to say here.

We look back at Christian attacking Trish two weeks ago to put her on the shelf.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards

Before the match, we see Christian’s attack earlier tonight, including him leaving after. Jericho has a cut on his head as a nice souvenir. Richards gets knocked down as he gets in with Jericho needing to blow off some steam. He’s a little too hotheaded to start and gets sent into the post twice in a row, followed by a quite logical armbar from Richards. The comeback doesn’t take long and Jericho tries the Walls but here’s Christian to Trish’s music. The distraction lets Richards grab the cheap rollup pin.

Post match Jericho sends Richards into the steps.

Hall of Fame video. It’s still an interesting class but lacking a top name.

Wrestlemania rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining us for the Smackdown matches.

Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda are in the back to talk about their Playboy match (when you can’t get in the arena on the go home show, it shows where you are on the card). After singing about bringing milkshakes to the yard (hence why this is off the Network), Johnny Blaze comes in but calls himself Johnny Spade (The multiple last names begin. Also of note: Johnny Spade was the name of a longtime Ohio Valley Wrestling mainstay so it’s not exactly an original name.). He’s willing to be their manager and even gives them a card. Johnny leaves and Eric Bischoff comes in, saying Johnny is made for this. And moving on.

Here’s Rock for This Is Your Life. Rock promises to win on Sunday so let’s get Foley out here right now. After a quick introduction, confetti falls and we get the famous video of Foley diving off of a house. The first guest: the woman who owned the house, Mrs. Doris Snyder! Foley: “I remember her!”

It’s a little old lady and Foley remembers eating milk, cookies and pie from her porch. A misunderstanding ensues with Foley saying all the kids, including the girls came up for pie. Foley: “Stray dogs too.” Rock: “STRAY DOGS???” Snyder is no longer opening her porch for pie but she is leaving her back door open for strudel. Rock panics again and tells her to stand in the corner so she’ll stop checking him out. I remember this one live and Rock’s reactions are incredible.

Next up: the Snuka vs. Muraco cage match, with Foley hanging out with the other 184 future wrestlers who were all in the building that night. Therefore, our second guest is Jimmy Snuka himself. Foley is thrilled to see his idol and offers Snuka to come to Wrestlemania. Rock talks about Snuka’s crazed 80s promos (the word he uses) where no one knew what Snuka was saying.

Snuka doesn’t like that, but Snyder grabs Rock’s arm. Rock: “Tell the Rock you are not looking at the Superfly’s a**!” Snuka: “Brother Rock, the Superfly loves pie!” Foley: “This is excellent!” Rock tells them to go get a room at Holiday Inn on her with Foley saying she was quite a gymnast in her day.

With the two of them gone, Rock talks about Foley’s writing career. The third guest: Bob Thompson, the first person to ever review Have A Nice Day. Foley says cut the music because Thompson found the book boring because wrestling, and wrestling fans, were idiots. The fans are all over the guy (as they should be) but Rock says Thompson represents everyone who has ever told Foley no.

The critics have been wrong, just like the people who say they can’t beat Evolution at Wrestlemania. Thompson criticizes Walking Tall and yeah there’s the sock in his mouth. Dude had it coming. Cue Evolution for the brawl (without talking first, as it should be) but Rock breaks up the triple powerbomb. That’s it for the comeback though as the Batista Bomb lays Rock out to end the show. This was long but Rock more than carried it, with his facial expressions over Snyder and Snuka being hysterical. Check this out if you have the time.

Overall Rating: C+. The Raw before Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that has to be taken into account. This is a night where the wrestling isn’t the point because it’s all about hyping you up for the big show. They actually did that too, as I came into this not really looking forward to Sunday and came out wanting to watch it again, at least a little bit more than I did earlier.

The big stuff with Rock and Foley was great, the first half of the Shawn/HHH/Benoit segment was good and everything got a little time (save for Goldberg of course, but that match and story has been such a mess that it’s not even a surprise anymore). As a stand alone show it doesn’t work, but for a go home show it did what it was supposed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Last week saw three matches added to Wrestlemania, which makes sense given how soon the show is actually taking place. There are still a few things to hammer out though and that can be done in the next two weeks. Maybe they can find a better way to do things than by just having Vince stand in the ring and make matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince making Undertaker vs. Kane, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and the Playboy tag match last week. That’s certainly a way to set up a show in a hurry.

Opening sequence, which is cut off by Austin’s entrance to deal with La Resistance, who are protesting in the ring. You don’t see that very often and it’s a cool way to open the show. One Stunner drops Rob Conway and Sylvan Grenier runs away. Austin wants to deal with Lesnar and still isn’t happy with Goldberg spearing him a few weeks back. He’s going to call the match right down the middle but he’s ready to beat either one of them up at a moment’s notice.

Before he can get to the closing catchphrase, here’s Vince McMahon for a flashback showdown. Vince thinks Austin is a lousy referee and is going to get beaten up by both guys at Wrestlemania. Wouldn’t that make Vince very happy? Vince makes fun of Austin’s ATV so Austin runs down its specifics and thinks Vince has a 15-20 yard head start.

The chase is on and Vince bails to the parking lot where his limo is waiting. Austin drives over that (with a convenient camera inside the card) and Vince gets away. This was a big long ad for Goldberg vs. Lesnar without having Goldberg or Lesnar because things are getting a little screwy behind the scenes. When all else fails, go with Austin vs. Vince again because warming it up again six years later can’t hurt.

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly and Jazz get in an argument before the bell so Jazz walks out on the match. Victoria rolls Molly up for the pin in about thirty seconds. Jazz leaving didn’t change a thing.

Post match Molly beats the heck out of Victoria and pulls out some of her hair.

We look at the issues between Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels over the last few weeks.

Michaels doesn’t think he and Benoit can get along.

John Hennigan comes in to see Eric Bischoff and dubs himself Johnny Blaze. Some sucking up works as Bischoff makes him his apprentice. Austin comes in and stares Bischoff down as Bischoff says he had nothing to do with Lesnar last week. Now it’s Molly coming in demanding a rematch at Wrestlemania. Since she has Victoria’s hair in her hand, Austin makes it title vs. hair.

Molly panics at the idea of being bald. Austin: “You got a problem with bald headed people?” Hennigan tries to offer a handshake and gets a hard stare before Austin leaves. Apparently Molly and Victoria were told they couldn’t have a regular match but jumped at the chance for a hair match as it was the only way they were getting on the card. That’s some dedication to your craft.

Rosey/Hurricane vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

The winners are in the four way for the title at Wrestlemania. Hurricane spins out of a wristlock to start and stops Cade with the superhero pose. It’s already off to Rosey for a kick to the chest and some superheroic arm cranking. The young guys try to pound Hurricane down to no avail so it’s a backbreaker for some more success.

A slam gives Cade two, showing off those developmental skills. Cade puts on a reverse chinlock but the power of a finger bite gets Hurricane out. It’s back to Rosey for the big Samoan drop but Jindrak hits a LOUD left hand to knock him off the top. A rollup with tights gives Cade the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D-. That’s one of the least necessary Wrestlemania appearances I can think of. You can almost guarantee a three way for the titles but the world was waiting for the thing to become a four way. Cade and Jindrak are a nothing team that barely ever even gets on the roster but they’re getting a Wrestlemania title shot? Why? Just to expand a match? That’s not exactly the best idea in the world.

Benoit only trusts himself, including in the tag match tonight.

Clip of Mick Foley’s great interview from last week where he got upset and promised to be here for revenge tonight.

Here’s Rico in the ring to introduce Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to showcase their evening gowns. Rico: “These ladies are so hot they even make Rico melt.” I have no idea why I’m supposed to be more interested in seeing them in long gowns than the usual very revealing outfits they were but WWE has some weird notions. Rico talks about how gorgeous they are over and over again until Kane finally comes out (seemed like a missed cue).

In a surprising display of chivalry, Rico charges at him and then gets back up to save the women again. He gets chokeslammed for it but at least he tried. Kane promises to persecute Undertaker at Biblical proportions at Wrestlemania. I’m not sure what that means but Kane knows how to make it scary. The gong goes off and the blue lights come on, followed by an Undertaker symbol bursting into flames. JR thinks Kane might be afraid. Thanks for clarifying that the guy who looks terrified is actually scared.

Shawn and Benoit are in the back and nearly come to blows before their match. Benoit acts kindly by allowing Shawn to go first, though it might be due to Shawn’s music playing.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Benoit gets to start with Batista and drop toeholds him into the buckle. With Batista staggered, Benoit just launches himself for a forearm to the face and a knockdown. Shawn comes in and crotches Batista against the post (with Batista’s face freezing in a funny visual. He’s fine enough to try a Batista Bomb but Shawn punches his way to freedom. A whip into the corner works a bit better and it’s off to Orton for some stomping in the corner

Evolution starts taking turns on Shawn with a wide range of kicks and punches to the face. The HBK chants begin and like a good face, Shawn slugs away to little avail. Batista’s chokebomb is countered into a DDT (nice one) and it’s off to Benoit. A dragon screw legwhip takes Batista down and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. The Crossface goes on but Orton knocks Shawn into the hold for the break.

That’s enough for Benoit, who shoves Shawn but gets punched in the jaw. All four are down and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Benoit in a bow and arrow before switching to a bodyscissors with a pull of the face. JR: “Orton with those powerful legs. Who does he think he is? Joe Stecher?” Orton sticks with the legs by dropping one for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Batista comes in for a half crab but Benoit fights up and scores with an enziguri.

Shawn doesn’t stick his hand out for a tag though, meaning Benoit has to suplex Orton and get about a foot away to bring Michaels in. Shawn cleans house and drops the elbow on Orton but Batista breaks up Sweet Chin Music. Everything breaks down and Benoit hits a German suplex on Orton, only to have Shawn accidentally crotch him on top. Shawn covers Orton but Benoit comes off with the Swan Dive anyway. The real fight is on and Orton rolls Shawn up for the pin.

Rating: B. This was much more storytelling than action, though the action was good. It’s also a weird way to do things as Benoit and Michaels look weak before the biggest match of the year. I guess you want to tease that HHH could win because of their issues, but HHH has looked strong long enough. Let Benoit and Shawn catch up to him a bit (Benoit needs it far more than Shawn) and don’t have them lose less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Post match Shawn and Benoit go at it until HHH runs in and Evolution beats the two of them down. The FOLEY chants go nowhere as HHH Pedigrees both guys.

Post break Foley arrives and Evolution isn’t happy, though they think it’s time to give Foley his weekly beating.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, even though Chris Jericho is injured. Instead here’s Christian and we’ll be having the Peep Show. Last week Christian was a little rough with Trish and had her screaming in pain, but after that he had her in his hotel room and she was screaming in pleasure. Both things were a little rough but sometimes it’s the only way to go.

See, Christian did all of this in the name of tough love, and there is going to be more tough love at Wrestlemania when he faces Jericho one on one. This brings out Jericho to no music and Christian is scared, despite Jericho’s noticeable limp. Jericho charges in and the fight is on with Christian getting away off a kick to the knee.

We look back at the ATV deal.

Wrestlemania rundown. Another team will be announced for the Raw Tag Team Titles on Heat because IT MUST BE A FOUR WAY!

A tow truck steals Austin’s ATV. So he just left it sitting there?

HHH leaves because Evolution can handle Foley by themselves. Orton has something in mind.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy/Test

Non-title, meaning Test and Matt, who paid cash for his home and has more money than you, can’t win the titles. During the entrances, JR, asks why someone isn’t calling the cops about the ATV. Fair point, which isn’t likely to ever be addressed. As things get started, JR says that Jindrak and Lance Cade have already qualified, making me wonder again why they ever bothered with Garrison.

Van Dam dives onto Matt to start but gets taken outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and Test mocks Van Dam’s finger pointing and gets rolled up for two as JR suggests Lawler would get mad if he wore a crown. Rob kicks Matt down and the lukewarm tag brings in Booker. Everything breaks down and the Book End gets two on Test. Booker kicks Test down but stops for a Spinarooni, because Booker never learns. Matt gets in a cheap shot but Test kicks him down by mistake. The ax kick sets up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick tag match here as Booker and Van Dam continue to gain momentum, even though it’s not like they’re on top of a tough division in the first place. That being said, it’s not like either of them have anything better to do anyway so this is as good as anything else they could be doing. The match was nothing, but did you expect anything else?

Here’s Foley for the big show closing chat. He promised to be here tonight but here’s Evolution to cut him off. JR: “It’s time to pay Satan.” Well that’s a jump up in intensity. Orton doesn’t get why Foley is here because the weekly beatdowns are starting to hurt Orton’s hand. Foley can have the one on one match at Wrestlemania if he wants one but Foley knows that it’s too good to be true.

There is never going to be a one on one match because Evolution (Foley: “You watch your step Flair. I’ll knock you out!”) is always going to be around. Foley has something else in mind: a 3-2 handicap match (POP for that) with a special partner. Orton knows where this is going and tells Foley to go find a payphone and call Mr. Big Shot. Go tell Mr. Walking Tall that neither of them is watching after Wrestlemania.

Foley leaves to go make the call but has a better idea. How about Orton tells him to his face? Foley never said he was coming back to Raw alone, so cue the Rock at a full sprint. Orton looks terrified (well duh) and the Rock N Sock Connection cleans house with the Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to Orton. Rock, with a goatee, says Evolution’s days of beating on Foley are over because Evolution is invited to a one of a kind beating at Wrestlemania. Catchphrases are hit to end the show on a hot note.

Overall Rating: C-. The Wrestlemania build is starting to suffer as there is so much stuff going on that they’re trying to cover everything at once and it’s starting to collapse. The triple threat is getting the attention it deserves but other than that, it feels like they’re throwing in a bunch of people onto the show instead of trying to build the stories up into something interesting. That pay per view card video felt really heavy and that’s not what you want going into one of the biggest shows of all time.

This week’s show wasn’t bad but there’s very little that I really want to see. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is in a weird place (mainly due to contract issues) where neither can show up and the best story is over on Smackdown. That leaves you with HHH standing tall for the moment and Austin vs. McMahon again, at least for the time being. It leaves the build feeling somewhere between weak and messy, and that’s not a good place to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 23, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 14,752
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is rapidly closing in on us and that means things are getting serious around here. In addition to the big main event story with Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title being confirmed, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar is heating up for the interpromotional dream match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit vs. Michaels last week and the announcement of the triple threat.

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Lita vs. Jazz

Molly is defending under elimination rules. After Lawler gets done putting his eyes back in over Victoria (fair enough), we’re ready to go. It’s a big brawl to start with Jazz lifting Victoria up in the double chickenwing. Lita’s snap DDT gets rid of Jazz in very short order and we’re down to three. Molly hits a handspring elbow on Victoria in the corner but gets caught in a quick jackknife cover to get us down to Victoria vs. Lita for the title. That’s not cool with Molly, who beats the heck out of Victoria after the fall.

We take a break and come back with Victoria grabbing a headlock takeover, which feels very odd two eliminations into a match. Lita comes up and gets two off a clothesline, only to be snapmared into a chinlock. They’re definitely going with a weird layout so far. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and Lita botches the counter to the spinning side slam. A reverse Twist of Fate gives Lita two and she sends Victoria throat first into the bottom rope. The moonsault takes too long though and the Widow’s Peak gives Victoria the title.

Rating: D. The first two eliminations were completely worthless and the rest of the match was a sloppy mess. They didn’t seem to know how to lay a match out and the botches didn’t do it any favors. Molly was fine for a champion but Victoria is a bigger star with a better character so the title change makes sense. That doesn’t make up for the bad match though.

Steven Richards comes out for the big celebration.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells the driver to get his wrestling gear out of the back.

Eric Bischoff isn’t happy about the main event but here’s Christian to interrupt. Christian is still trying to get a Tag Team Title match for himself and Chris Jericho. Bischoff rants on Jericho and gives Christian a match with Trish Stratus instead.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

Non-title. Orton goes aggressive to start and chokes Venis in the corner but a few chops put him on the floor. Venis is right after him and gets backdropped down to put Orton right back in control. Some knees to the back set up a knee to the back camel clutch as the fans want Foley. Orton mocks the BANG BANG and Venis kicks him in the head for taking too long. Venis grabs a cobra clutch slam and a spinebuster but can’t follow up. With Val going up top, Orton learns from his mentor and slams him off the top for the big crash. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton is getting some stature here and the feud with Foley should only make that better. A win over a former Intercontinental Champion should help him out even more, which is all you can ask for her. Venis is a great choice for a jobber to the stars and thankfully they’ve cut out the old gimmick stuff save for the hip swivel.

We look back at Bischoff challenging Vince….from Nitro in 1998. That’s tonight’s main event, all in a way to plug the Monday Night War DVD, less than a month from Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is panicking over the video being played. As expected, it was Austin, who recaps Bischoff running his mouth off last week. Austin: “You’re the only man who has made out with Vince’s wife and made out with Vince’s daughter. And he still signs your paychecks!” Wrestling is a very strange place. Bischoff talks about a fantasy he has with Stephanie and Vince is right behind him. A lot of yelling ensues. Austin to Eric: “You’ve got him right where you want him.”

Evolution gives Batista a pep talk for his match with Benoit. First though, HHH has something to say.

Here’s Evolution so HHH can have a chat. HHH wasn’t happy with the announcement of the triple threat last week and it got to him a little bit. Then Ric Flair reminded him that he’s the best in the world today so there’s no reason to worry. He beats opponents one after another so this time he’ll beat two at once. It doesn’t matter who challenges him because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Cue Chris Benoit to say bring it on, which is exactly what HHH tells him to do. Benoit grabs a chair and gets in but the numbers advantage lets Batista jump him from behind. Shawn runs in for the save but Benoit puts him in the Crossface to make up for last week. Now it’s Austin to say let’s do Batista vs. Benoit right now.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Joined in progress with Benoit going after the leg but the Sharpshooter is blocked with pure power. Batista clotheslines the head out of him and grabs the bearhug, kneeling to make up for the size difference. The hold goes to the mat but since that doesn’t have the best effect, it’s off to a half crab instead. That doesn’t last long either so Batista blocks a Crossface attempt and blasts him with a clothesline. It’s kind of hard to block a German suplex though and Benoit rolls his way to four in a row. The Swan Dive misses but the Batista Bomb is countered into the Crossface (sweet) for the tap.

Rating: C. This was a rather impressive showcase of Benoit’s selling and ability to walk someone through a competent match. Batista is still very green at this level and while he’s getting better, he needs someone as good as Benoit to get him to a higher level. They’re making Benoit look great with this string of submissions (ignore the loss to Shawn of course) and he’s on a roll heading into Wrestlemania.

Austin gives Bischoff a pep talk, telling him to be the Bischoff that beat Raw for 83 weeks in a row. Bischoff has gotten more out of that than Jericho beating Austin and Rock in one night.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. La Resistance

Non-title. Rob and Rene start things off and it’s an early spinning kick to the face for two on Dupree. A Hart Attack with a side kick gives Booker two of his own but Conway breaks up the ax kick. The chinlock goes on as the announcers make jokes about French coffee. I’ll take it over French military jokes. Booker’s side kick isn’t enough to get him out of trouble so he sends the French guys into each other. That’s enough for the hot tag and everything breaks down with a Book End dropping Conway. The ax kick into the Five Star finishes Dupree.

Rating: D. Total formula tag match here as a way to make the new champs look good. It’s pretty clear that La Resistance’s time on top is over and that’s the best for everyone. They didn’t have the best longevity in the world and now that the anti-French stuff has died down, they can settle into the midcard role where they belong. Van Dam and Booker are fine until a better team comes along.

We see some pictures of Foley’s face after last week’s beating and it’s not pretty.

Trish comes in to see Christian, who agrees to lie down tonight….if she’ll lay down for him. He wasn’t serious though because that was the CLT: the Christian Love Test. All he was doing was seeing if she was loyal to Jericho and she passed with flying colors. Red and white I would assume.

Video on last week’s Orton vs. Foley segment with Foley taking a very hard beating. Apparently Foley told Orton to actually hit him for the sake of realism, which is something only Foley would actually do.

Over the weekend, Foley, with a very black eye, sat down with JR. He’s been in pain for most of his career because it comes with the territory. What he doesn’t understand is why his injuries have caused him this degree of neurological problems (I’m thinking the fists to the head have something to do with it) and for the first time, he’s scared. He’s not sure why he kept getting up last week but it was probably just instinct.

Foley thought it was only about thirty seconds when it was actually six minutes. What he wanted to know was where the help was. He thought he was a little more loved than that but maybe some people aren’t over him walking away back in December. He isn’t happy with what happened and Evolution can say they beat him down last week, but it’s not ok to have them say his career is over.

Foley is longing to be Commissioner Mick Foley again because he can’t laugh. Evolution doesn’t get to be the people who take that away and, as he stands up and starts yelling at JR, he promises to be at Raw next week to get his hands on Evolution. This started slowly and grew into one of those promos that Foley has mastered over the years. You could feel his emotion and I want to see where this goes.

Trish Stratus vs. Christian

Jericho isn’t here due to reaggrivating his knee. Christian lays down but kicks out at two, gropes her a bit, and slaps on the Walls to win in short order.

Christian takes his time letting go.

Post break Trish is helped to the back and can barely stand.

Coach tries to tell Bischoff to calm down but Bischoff isn’t scared. He’s gone head to head with Vince before and beat him at his own game. 83 weeks are mentioned again and he lists off all the stars he stole. Yet his company still somehow managed to go out of business.

Next week: Foley is back and Shawn/Benoit vs. Batista/Orton.

Vince comes out for the main event but before we’re ready to go, he has a Wrestlemania announcement. We’ll have to wait on that as here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They want to prove that they’re the hottest Divas on the grand stage of Wrestlemania XX. Vince wants the proof right here so dancing ensues. That’s cut off as an interpromotional evening gown match is made for Wrestlemania.

With that out of the way, here’s Kane to yell at Vince. Kane had been promised that Undertaker would die if he was buried but now he’s back. Vince tries to beg off but Kane won’t have it, saying that Undertaker is here again. Undertaker torments him day and night, so if Vince doesn’t do something about this, it’s his turn to be buried alive. Therefore, it’s Undertaker vs. Kane at Wrestlemania with Vince promising that someone will rest in peace.

That’s enough for Kane, so Vince wants to make his announcement. The fans chant for Goldberg as Vince talks about Brock Lesnar getting on his knees to beg for a match against Goldberg. Vince has thought about it and it would take someone special to control this kind of a match.

Cue Austin before any announcement can be made, sending Vince into a fit. Austin knows the people want to see Lesnar vs. Goldberg and since we need a guest referee, he’ll throw his hat into the mix. Vince wants to know what’s in it for Austin but that’s none of his business. The match is on, giving us our third match set in ten minutes. We’re finally ready for the main event, but Vince thinks Austin needs a tryout so he’s refereeing this match.

Vince McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

They stare each other down and Bischoff offers a handshake. Vince will have none of that (makes sense) and knees him in the ribs but Austin tells him to get off the ropes. Some kicks have no effect so Vince drives him into the corner. Austin breaks it up again and Bischoff kicks him down. That’s it for Bischoff’s offense as Vince takes it to the floor, only to have Lesnar sneak in with an F5 to Austin and the no contest to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one actually. The wrestling was bad but they’ve done a good job of setting up the big matches for Wrestlemania with three matches being added in about ten minutes. I kind of like that rapid fire stuff as you knew some of the matches were coming so just announce them officially and get on to something else.

That being said, the Bischoff vs. McMahon stuff felt like it was out of last century and was thrown together here to sell DVDs. They kept it very short, but was there nothing else that could have gotten Austin and McMahon out to the ring? Not a good show on its own, but a good way to get things ready for Wrestlemania, which is what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 16, 2004
Location: Centennial Gardens Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and it’s time to crank things up a bit. The World Title match is at least partially set but the question now is what happens between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit after Michaels stole Benoit’s title shot last week in something I still don’t think is legal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the contract signing last week where Michaels stole Benoit’s spot. They’re fighting tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about what Shawn did last week and apparently the lawyers can’t come to a conclusion. This all goes back to Wrestlemania X where Yokozuna defended the title twice in one night against two different opponents. That’s not going to happen this year because Eric Bischoff needs to get out here and make a decision. Cue a power walking Bischoff to say it’s true that HHH shouldn’t be wrestling twice in one night.

Bischoff has an idea though: what if he cancels tonight’s Benoit vs. Michaels match and makes HHH vs. either of them for the title instead? The winner goes on to face the odd man out at Wrestlemania. The fans seem pleased and HHH asks if that’s what they want to see. Well HHH doesn’t care so that’s not happening. We don’t actually find out what’s happening as here’s Benoit for the brawl. The Crossface goes on but Benoit is smart enough to bail when Evolution comes out.

Post break Evolution has plans for tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and have Randy Orton in their corner. Booker and Flair get things going and botch a hiptoss so Booker settles for a slam. Rob comes in and, of course, kicks a lot. There’s a spinwheel kick to Batista and a middle rope Cannonball gets two. Batista gets sent to the floor and Flair gets kicked down, only to have Orton shove Batista out of the way of a dive as we take a break.

Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a powerslam. Van Dam kicks Flair down (again) and the hot tag brings in Booker for a suplex on Batista. Everything breaks down and Booker gets to kick Flair this time, meaning we can pause for a Spinarooni. The delay lets Orton come in and take out Booker’s knee so Flair grabs the Figure Four. Cue Mick Foley to fight Orton into the crowd, leaving Van Dam to Five Star Flair, giving Booker the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The match was a little messy but they had to do something to get the titles off of Evolution. They were dominating for so long now and the Tag Team Titles are the easiest ones to get off of them. Booker and Van Dam are fine as new champions and the win enhances Orton vs. Foley to make things even better. Good decision, though not a great match.

We look at Goldberg helping Eddie Guerrero win the Smackdown World Title last night at No Way Out.

Austin and Bischoff watch the footage and Austin recaps it for those who can’t pay attention. They have more important things to deal with though as Austin wants Bischoff to figure out the Benoit/Michaels/HHH situation tonight. Austin leaves and Orton comes in to say he’s going to call out Foley tonight. A fight is guaranteed.

Christian and Jericho, still with a banged up knee, are in the back before Jericho’s match with Kane. Jericho is ready to fight but he has something bigger in mind for later. He’s going to give Trish a rose as a late Valentine’s Day present and tell her how he really feels. The feelings he has run deeper than he thought and he needs to do something about them. Christian doesn’t think it’s the best idea because Trish might have her eye on someone else. Jericho looks nervous but is going to go through with it anyway.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Kane punches the injured Jericho down to start and breaks up an early Walls attempt. Jericho’s knee pad is ripped off and the bad knee gets slammed into the mat. The knee gets wrapped around the post to make it even worse and Jericho can’t stand. Jericho tries to backflip out of a belly to back suplex but the knee gives out again and the referee stops the match.

Post match Kane throws him over the top for a crash onto the knee. Jericho gets posted again and Kane calls out whoever has been playing the supernatural games with him. It’s not the Undertaker, who is thoroughly and extremely dead. After a bit of a hesitation, Kane sets off the pyro. He goes to leave and the Undertaker lights come on again. The dead will rise in 27 days but for now, rain falls on Kane. That’s not a bad visual with all of the light blocking out everything else.

Here’s Orton, in street clothes, to call out Foley. See, Foley just doesn’t get it. Orton is this good already and he’s 23 years old. Foley is blinded by his ego and doesn’t understand that his time is over. He might have been the Hardcore Legend in 2000 but right now he’s just Orton’s b****.

That brings Foley out to win a quick brawl but Evolution comes in, allowing Orton to hit him low. Orton punches Foley so much that he hurts his hand before ending it with the RKO. They’re about to leave but hang on because that’s not enough of a beating. The thing keeps going for a few more minutes and stops having much of an impact after a while. A Batista Bomb finally ends it.

Benoit comes up to Shawn and says he’s ready to show him the same lack of respect that Shawn showed him last week.

Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler are still complaining about not being in Playboy but Bischoff doesn’t seem to care. He tells them to go call Hugh Hefner so they leave, being replaced by Austin, with a copy of the Monday Night Raw DVD in his hand. We get a plug for the DVD and Bischoff says he can beat Vince up, just like he said he could back in 1998. Vince pops in and says that next week he has a major Wrestlemania announcement, but he’s going to make it in his wrestling gear. After the announcement, he’ll see if Bischoff really can beat Vince up. Well, better late that never never, maybe?

Trish Stratus/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Jazz

Jazz yells a lot to start but gets rolled up out of the corner for an early two. Molly tries her luck and gets two off a snap suplex. Trish gets taken down for a quick chinlock but Molly misses a charge, allowing the hot tag off to Victoria. As you might guess, Lawler talks about her outfit more than anything else as Victoria shoulders Molly down for two. The Widow’s Peak is good for the clean pin.

Rating: D+. This was all about Victoria completely dominating Molly and getting the clean pin over the champ, which is perfectly fine. Overused, but still fine. I’m sure they’ll have their title match at Wrestlemania, which works as well as anything else the division (and I use that term loosely) has going on at the moment.

Post match Steven Richards celebrates like crazy, drawing in Test to beat him down. Test even loads up a powerbomb on Trish but Christian runs in for the save. Trish isn’t sure what to think of this.

Wrestlemania Recall: the Gimmick Battle Royal. That was much better done than a lot of the legends segments we get today.

Trish thanks Christian for helping her before she goes to see Jericho at the hospital. Christian is going too and they’ll ride together. He gives her Jericho’s rose as a Valentine’s Day present, with no mention of Jericho of course. And since no one watches these shows, this is likely going to be a big plot point that Jericho doesn’t notice.

Recap of Shawn stealing the contract last week.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Shawn taps his foot during the staredown so Benoit takes him down and starts the fight in a hurry. The whip into the corner turns Shawn upside down but it’s too early for the Crossface. A loud chop off doesn’t go anywhere so Benoit grabs a neckbreaker to take over for the first time. The announcers discuss the heights of Presidents as Shawn stays on the neck. Some right hands get Benoit out of trouble so Shawn hits the flying forearm into the nipup.

The fans are NOT pleased with that but the top rope elbow misses makes things a bit better. A backdrop to the floor has Shawn in trouble and sends us to a break. Back with Benoit driving some knees into the ribs and getting two off a backbreaker. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit until Shawn reverses into a sleeper to bring Benoit back down. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and it’s time to chop it out some more.

With Benoit getting the better of it, a hard collision gives us another double knockdown. A very quick small package gives Benoit two but he gets shoved off the top, setting up the top rope elbow. The superkick is countered into a failed Crossface attempt so Benoit settles for the Sharpshooter. Shawn FINALLY makes the rope and the crowd isn’t happy with the break. Benoit rolls some German suplexes and looks ready for the Swan Dive but here’s HHH for a distraction, setting up Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the pin.

Rating: B+. Yeah this worked, although having Benoit take a fall to enforce this very forced World Title situation isn’t the best idea in the world. Benoit should be on a roll and it seems like a step backwards so Shawn can slip into the spot instead. I still really don’t like Shawn being in here, but that’s been the case for his feud with HHH for a very long time now.

Post match HHH gives Shawn a Pedigree. Cue Austin to say that Bischoff has made a decision. At Wrestlemania, it’s a triple threat match with HHH defending against Benoit and Michaels.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped a lot here (as can be the case pretty often) and the rest of the Wrestlemania build is going well enough, though not great. The World Title scene is really feeling forced and while the wrestling is good, I can’t help but ignore the storyline not working. The Wrestlemania card is being firmed up though and if they can find the right formula on the way there, we could be in for something special.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 9, 2004
Location: Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is just over a month away and tonight we get one of the required moments on the road to the big night: the contract signing, this time with HHH and Chris Benoit making their title match official. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and there’s almost no way that’s going to end well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Goldberg for a match but there’s no opponent as Vince McMahon interrupts instead. Vince talks about how weird it is to see these two together and he’s got a point. This is some weird pairing that you almost never see together. Vince cancels Goldberg’s match so here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin wants to know why Vince is here (well so far it’s to cancel a match) because he’s already ticking Austin off. It turns out that Vince is here because of Austin giving Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out because Vince knows what Goldberg is capable of.

It’s time to listen to the voice of consequence so here’s Paul Heyman to join us. Heyman doesn’t want Goldberg showing up but there’s nothing he can do to stop it. However, he can order Goldberg not to/threaten him with Brock Lesnar taking care of things. Goldberg takes the mic and say Lesnar is next before spearing Heyman. Another spear is loaded up for Vince but hits Austin by mistake, giving the fans their OOOOOO moment.

Post break Goldberg tells Austin that it was a mistake but wants to know if he should expect a Stunner. Austin isn’t sure but if he does Stun Goldberg, it won’t be a mistake. Goldberg can live with that.

Vince yells at Eric Bischoff and suspends Goldberg as punishment.

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy/Molly Holly

That’s quite an odd pairing for Matt, who loves getting things for free and has status on five airlines. The men start with a friendly exchange of hammerlocks so the announcers immediately start talking about Goldberg. Can you at least wait a few minutes? An early Walls attempt sends Matt bailing to the ropes so Molly comes in and gets spanked for her efforts.

Trish gets armbarred down but pops back up for a headscissors out of the corner. The hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house but his plancha to the floor misses, aggravating the knee injury Jericho suffered last week. Cue Christian to post Hardy though, leaving Trish to roll Molly up for a fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad while it lasted but what does it say that they might have been in trouble if they had just gone a few more minutes? Four people who seem pretty talented shouldn’t be worried that a match is going to fall apart after going five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the way Raw matches tend to go as they tend to go overboard after a certain amount of time.

Post break Trish leaves the trainer’s room and runs into Christian. He doesn’t think there’s any reason the three of them can’t be friends. Trish agrees and Christian goes to check on Jericho, not before saying she looks really good tonight.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are enjoying Torrie and Sable’s Playboy and wonder if they ever….and here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They’re annoyed about not being in the magazine and are going to prove something. Or a PG-13 version of such.

Coach cuts off Mick Foley from coming in. Foley is here to embarrass Randy Orton or maybe cost him his Intercontinental Title. Coach steps aside, unfortunately.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

In a good move, JR announces that Mark Henry will be out for four months thanks to the Crossface last week. Now why can’t today’s wrestling attribute more injuries to wrestling? Nah, we’re better off telling the truth and getting nothing out of it. Benoit wastes no time with a German suplex so Flair bails outside, setting up a chop battle. That actually goes badly for Flair, who bails into the floor for a change to even less success. More chops rock Flair again but he gets an elbow up to stop a charge….and flops for a good visual.

It’s already time to go up and already time to get superplex back down from the top as Flair is bumping early and often. The Swan Dive misses though and Benoit is down as well. Back from a break with another chop off until Benoit sends him face first into the buckle. It’s time to roll some German suplexes until Flair gets in a low blow to save his neck. That means the Figure Four goes on but Benoit is in the ropes just a few seconds later. Flair stays on the knee but gets pulled straight into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and that’s not exactly shocking. Benoit getting another clean win is exactly the right call and should do him a lot of good going forward. Beating the man that HHH idolizes and emulates so often is a great visual and while there is still a lot of time before Wrestlemania, they’re setting things up well.

Post match HHH says the contract signing is right now.

Back from a break and Bischoff is in the ring with a table and Benoit as HHH comes out for the signing. HHH wastes no time in signing but has something to say before Benoit can do the same. He sees the nerves in Benoit’s eyes because Benoit is standing at the edge and thinking of jumping off. What happens if Benoit jumps? Does he survive or is it all over? We’re coming up on Wrestlemania XX with all the lights on bright.

Benoit will be wrestling in the main event for the chance to become the man in the industry. That means all the pressure will be on him to defend the title all over the world. From American to Europe to Japan and all points in between. If Benoit can do it, then everything becomes worth it. Then the fans will chant BENOIT and he has arrived. That’s a nice dream, but reality is going to sit in.

Benoit is going to be sitting in the back after Wrestlemania and look at the big empty space in his bag. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity but is it worth it to risk losing it all? This is reality and that reality is HHH. Benoit goes to sign but here’s Shawn Michaels to interrupt. HHH leaves as Shawn says he doesn’t want to rain on Benoit’s parade but he can’t let this go.

Shawn’s issues with HHH far eclipses anything that Benoit is doing and he has to finish it. Shawn has to end this on the grandest stage of them all and that’s what he’s going to do. Benoit finally gets to talk and says he respects Shawn, but Wrestlemania is his night. As he’s talking, Shawn superkicks him and signs the contract. I really don’t think that’s how contracts work but that’s always been a gray area in wrestling.

Shawn came off as a huge jerk here, saying that his issues were all that mattered, despite having already had two shots at the title, which he blew both times. Throw in that Shawn has already beaten HHH at Summerslam and beaten him for the title at Survivor Series, this is the whiniest Shawn has ever been, which is covering A LOT of ground over the years. I know how great the match is eventually going to be, but I’ve never liked this story as Shawn didn’t need to be there and felt like he was as wedged into an angle as anyone could have been. The promo was great, but Shawn’s stuff was really forced and annoying.

Kane vs. Hurricane

Hurricane strikes his pose and runs out to the floor. Back in and a side slam followed by a chokeslam gives Kane the pin in short order.

Post match Kane can’t get the pyro to go off twice in a row. The third time works but Undertaker’s video comes on, followed by a video saying “the dead will rise in 34 days” (Wrestlemania of course).

Bischoff catches up with a ticked off Benoit, who wants to know what’s up with that. Apparently Shawn signing the contract is legally binding but he’ll have his lawyers on it. Next week: Benoit vs. Michaels.

Randy Orton isn’t happy with Foley being here and accuses him of being behind a conspiracy. A conspiracy to do what isn’t clear, but a conspiracy nonetheless.

We recap the opening sequence.

Goldberg tries to leave and doesn’t care to talk to Coach. He still has his No Way Out ticket and Lesnar is still next.

Video on the recent Japanese tour. This is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music issue.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s not here to interrupt tonight’s Intercontinental Title match but rather for an explanation of why he walked out in December. This turns into a discussion of Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, who was a major pastor but was then caught with a bunch of women. Or Rush Limbaugh, who ranted about drug abuse and was then caught abusing drugs. So what does this have to do with Orton?

Well at one point he was a member of the Marine Corps (complete with picture) but this isn’t a great story about a hero. It’s the story of a man who went AWOL for 82 days and was dismissed from the military (MAJOR heat for that one). Maybe Orton was projecting some of his guilt onto Foley when he was talking about Foley being a coward.

Foley throws down the challenge for Wrestlemania and maybe we can call it the battle of the cowards. Orton pops up on screen and says come to the back for a fight, Foley does just that, earning a beating from Evolution, capped off by a Batista Bomb through a table, due to sheer stupidity. Seriously Sting would have seen that coming. Orton slaps him around a bit for good measure.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Orton is defending. All three head outside in a hurry with Rob throwing Orton back in for a kick to the face. Booker doesn’t seem interested in running in for the save, instead watching from the apron until two. Van Dam kicks Booker down instead and we’re already in the two in/one out formula. Booker kicks Van Dam down to switch things up a bit but gets pulled outside by Orton.

Back in and Van Dam flips Booker as I’m still waiting on all three to be in the same place at the same time again. The announcers bicker over whether what Foley said about Orton was true, with Lawler accusing JR of being prejudiced. JR: “Well it ain’t easy.” Another kick to the face sets up Van Dam’s cartwheel moonsault for two but Orton is back in with a DDT on Booker. That sends Booker outside so Van Dam kicks Orton down for a change. A forearm to Van Dam’s back gets two but he kicks Orton in the face again, because that’s almost all of Van Dam’s offense these days.

Booker comes back in to play Bret to Van Dam’s Neidhart (with a kick instead of a clothesline) on a Hart Attack. Van Dam hits a bottom rope Five Star for two on Booker and Rolling Thunder gets the same, this time with Orton making a save. We’ll switch off to Orton vs. Booker now with the RKO being broken up.

A belly to back suplex/high crossbody combo with Van Dam flying back in crushes Orton again and all three are down. Rob gets dumped to the floor and there’s the ax kick to Orton but the very delayed cover allows Van Dam to flip back in for the save. The Five Star hits Booker but Orton steals the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. I really, really didn’t like this one as it was a full match of Van Dam kicking them in the face and one of them heading to the floor so the others can have a short singles match. The ending was slightly better as Orton stealing a pin to retain the title fits him perfectly. It was a lifeless match though and a positive ending isn’t enough to fix the bigger problems.

Evolution comes out to celebrate so here’s Foley limping to the ring, earning another beating. Van Dam and Booker get taken out as well to end the show. HHH comes out to watch as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Awful main event aside, they did a good job of setting up the biggest pieces for Wrestlemania. The show is rather early this year (March 14) so it’s not like they have much time to really set everything up. Therefore it’s a great idea to have a lot of that out of the way early, and that’s what Raw has done here. There are still a lot of problems (contracts don’t work that way being a big one) but you can see a good card emerging in there. Just make the build work a little more smoothly and no more bad triple threats.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2004
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re pretty firmly in Wrestlemania season now with about a month and a half to go before the big show. Things started to pick up last week when Chris Benoit moved over to Raw and went straight after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and you know he doesn’t want anyone to go after his wrestling life partner like that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit debuting last week and throwing his hat in the World Heavyweight Title picture.

Opening sequence.

It’s already time for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho promises to give someone more exposure than Janet Jackson’s nipple. That would be his guest, Chris Benoit. Jericho congratulates him on winning the Rumble (Jericho: “Oh yeah. HE WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE!”) and praises Benoit’s brilliance for finding the loophole to get to Raw. He does however give Benoit a warning: Benoit isn’t just dealing with HHH, because now it’s Evolution and worst of all, Eric Bischoff.

Benoit appreciates it but no one is going to stop him from getting his World Title. Jericho thinks it might be Benoit that stops Benoit from winning the big one, which is something Jericho can relate to. We see a clip of Ric Flair telling Benoit that he always lets the brass ring slip from his fingers.

Cue Flair to say Benoit is a great physical specimen and one of the best technical wrestlers in the world but he’s a runner up. The man around here is HHH and Benoit is never going to be the man because he can’t beat the man. Benoit agrees with half of that, but at Wrestlemania he’s going to become the man. For now though, how about he fights Flair himself? This brings out Bischoff (Coach gives him a standing ovation) to make Flair/Batista vs. Jericho/Christian for the titles (rather than their scheduled #1 contenders match) instead. Benoit can have a match too, and that’s next.

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry

Benoit chops away and the sweat is flying off of Henry’s chest. Henry knocks him down with one shot but Benoit is right back with the kicks and chops. One heck of a clothesline puts Benoit down with Henry declaring this his world. That just means more chops until Benoit can get up top for a flying headbutt to a standing Henry. Cue HHH to watch as Henry blocks a German suplex but gets Crossfaced for the tap. Not exactly thrilling but Benoit won in a hurry.

Escape the Rules ad. Since when is this a heel promotion?

Steve Austin runs into Michaels in the back and tells him that if he wants another shot at HHH, go do something.

Video on last week’s Mick Foley/Randy Orton showdown. It was a very interesting start, but I’m not sure how strong the followup is going to/can be.

Foley is in the back when Test comes up to yell at him for costing him his spot in the Rumble. The distraction lets Orton jump Foley from behind with a belt shot. Orton declares Foley his b****.

Rene Dupree vs. Rico

The announcers start talking about the Janet Jackson incident, which sends us into a Playboy/Jackie Gayda flashing Conway last week discussion. Rico rides Dupree around to start and the USA chants begin. A snapmare sets up a neck crank on Rico but Dupree switches it to a chinlock to keep Rico on his toes. Well on the mat but close enough. Now it’s a chinlock on the mat as Lawler talks about Jackie taking her top off yet again.

Rico fights up so Dupree takes him back down for another neck crank. Yet AGAIN it’s switched to a chinlock and yet AGAIN Lawler oogles Jackie. Good grief yeah she looks great but shut up already. Rico finally fights up for good and kicks Dupree in the head for two. They fight in the corner but here’s Stacy Keibler at ringside as Conway breaks up a monkey flip. Stacy gets on the apron to distract Dupree, allowing Rico to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Was there anything worthwhile in this match? The one with back to back nerve holds into chinlocks because that’s the best this show can do anymore? Throw in the fact that it’s Rene Dupree and Rico and I have no idea what is supposed to interest me here. Oh yeah the Playboy thing. How thrilling.

Post match Stacy and Jackie dance together.

Trish Stratus is getting ready but runs into Christian, holding a Rolling Stone Magazine about the Beatles. Christian talks about Yoko Ono breaking the band up, which wouldn’t have happened with him around. Instead he would have given Yoko a one man Conchairto before she could split the band up. Anyway, good luck Trish.

Linda McMahon spoke to college voters.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending….or at least will at one point, as Bischoff comes out to say this isn’t happening because Trish isn’t #1 contender. Here’s what we get instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Kane

Staring, fear, Jericho running in for the save.

Trish gets away but Kane takes out Jericho’s knee with a chair and a posting.

Post break Trish checks on Jericho, who rants about Bischoff.

Kane is still in the ring so let’s do this instead.

Goldberg vs. Kane

Goldberg hugs a special needs kid on the way in. You hear about his work with kids a lot and that’s just cool. Goldberg shoulders him down but gets booted in the face. A choke doesn’t work and Kane hits a side slam for two. That means a chinlock (Kane must be a Dupree fan) but Kane lets him up pretty quickly, switching to a choke in the corner instead. The chokeslam cuts off Goldberg’s comeback….and a bolt of lightning hits the ring. The blue lights come on and the Undertaker video plays as Kane freaks out. Goldberg hits a spear as the gong strikes and the ring fills with smoke. We’ll call it a no contest.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here which Kane can do well enough under the right circumstances. I’m surprised Goldberg got beaten up this badly but at least it seems to be heading to a pair of matches at Wrestlemania. Now whether or not you want to watch them may be up for debate, but at least they have a plan.

Booker T. vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who has never run out of gas while driving and his chest hair grows swiftly, has a perfectly healthy neck here, unlike Booker, whose neck was injured on Heat. Matt hits a clothesline and a hot shot to play up the neck issues. We hit a sleeper (better than another chinlock) as the announcers talk about Mark Henry’s shoulder being popped out of socket by the Crossface. That’s the kind of thing you can say that makes the hold look that much better.

Matt’s elbow to the back of the neck gets two and it’s off to a full nelson. A legdrop gets two as you can’t accuse Matt of sticking with the same moves over and over. The Side Effect gets two more and frustration is setting in. So it back pain in the form of a spinebuster from Booker. The side kick gets two on Matt and Booker kicks him in the face. Booker blocks the Twist and it’s an ax kick so we can hear Booker’s bad hip hop song again.

Rating: D+. Matt loses again but you can’t fault his psychology. You can see the difference between the Rico vs. Dupree match with one chinlock after another and this one, with Matt running through a variety of stuff to work on the bad neck. It didn’t go anywhere, but at least he was trying and that’s better than a lot of the matches you see.

Shawn is wiping HHH’s blood off his boot when Orton comes up. Trash is talked but Shawn isn’t having any of this and scares Orton off.

Here’s HHH, in ring gear, for a chat. He talks about next week’s contract signing with Benoit and after that, Benoit has no way out. They’ll be locked in to a match at Wrestlemania and when they get into the ring together, HHH will turn Benoit’s dreams into nightmares. Oh and also next week, Benoit gets Flair. For now though, here’s a demonstration.

HHH vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title. HHH turns his back so Spike hits a forearm, only to be kneed in the face for his efforts. Another knee to the face has Spike in trouble so he grabs HHH’s leg. The Pedigree ends Spike in a hurry. It’s better than HHH talking.

Austin comes to see Goldberg, who isn’t happy with Brock Lesnar. However, Austin just happens to have a front row ticket to next week’s No Way Out. Don’t do anything that Austin wouldn’t do.

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and Jericho is limping badly from Kane’s attack earlier in the night. Christian and Flair start things off and they hit the mat in a hurry. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere so Christian suplexes him instead. Batista comes in off the blind tag though and there’s a slam to take Christian down. One heck of a backbreaker keeps Christian in trouble and that’s it for Batista, which might be the best idea given his rather limited offense.

Back up and Christian rams heads with Flair for a double knockdown. Jericho comes in to start chopping away (gimmick infringer) as everything breaks down. Batista gets sent to the floor and a dive takes him out, leaving Jericho to bang up his knee on a missed Lionsault. He’s fine enough to get the Walls on for the tap but Batista sneaks back in to hit the knee. The Figure Four retains the titles.

Rating: D. Not enough time to go anywhere, which is a shame given what these teams could put together. Jericho tapping is fine enough given his injury and Christian can yell at him for giving up their chance at the titles. Flair and Batista aren’t great champions but it makes for a good visual with Evolution and that’s about as good as it could get at the moment. Still though, bad match, mainly due to the lack of time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Shawn’s entrance at Wrestlemania XII. Fair enough as that was a heck of a visual.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The referee has to separate them in the corner to start so Shawn tries a headlock takeover instead. The announcers are thrilled as they get a chance to talk about everything other than the match, including every dumb thing that has happened tonight. Back up and Orton kicks away in the corner, followed by some uppercuts for good measure. The referee gets dropkicked pretty early on so Orton grabs the belt.

That goes nowhere though as here’s Austin, on the ATV, with another referee. Now that’s how you make a delivery. Austin takes the original referee, and the title, with him and leaves. Michaels is back up and throws some right hands but they fall to the floor with Shawn holding his knee. Back from a break with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Orton knees him back down. That means another chinlock with a knee in the back as the knee injury seems to have vanished.

Shawn fights up, gets taken down, and we hit the third chinlock in a row. Shawn’s comeback sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex and Orton goes up. The high crossbody misses, but I’m more interested in JR saying Coach looks like he’s wearing a condom on his head. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, followed by the top rope elbow. Both finishers are countered so Orton gets in a DDT. Cue Foley for a distraction though and Shawn grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C. At least it wasn’t a clean loss for the champ, but I’m really not liking the idea of Orton getting pinned by anyone at the moment. He’s in a big story so just have Foley come in and deck him for earlier or chase him off for a countout or something. Also, what was up with the Austin deal? What a random cameo that added nothing to the match.

Post match Foley comes in and beats on Orton, including a clothesline to the floor. Foley knocks Orton into the crowd so here’s HHH to send Evolution after them. HHH goes after Shawn but here’s Benoit before it can get physical. The champ leaves and Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show itself was pretty terrible but you can see where a lot of things are going, which always a positive sign. You know Wrestlemania XX is going to get a big build and they’re giving it as much time as they can, at least on Raw. Things can get better with the drama being built up, but there was too much filler/focusing on the weaker stories here to really make this week work.

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